#introvert also doesn't understand people who get extremely emotional out of nowhere

[prozac-shaped-urn]

oy vey. introvert rant incoming.

went to a going away party today for my neighbor and friend becky and i had war flashbacks to hacks 107 with dj's birthday/engagement party and boy son i was not ready for that......

turned out that becky is in fact moving, but this was an opportunity to surprise her friends about her recent engagement. which like.... that's fine. it's reasonable, but good GOD one of her friends just straight up starting crying like actually falling to pieces in front of my literal salad and i just couldn't deal with that so i starting doing some work on my phone so i could dissociate from the ridiculous display in front of me. i can't stand women who cry at nothing. like what is so moving that you'll cry for no reason? i've never in my life cried for no reason. i hardly ever cry to begin with. i get it, we all have hormones n shit, but for fuck's sake CALM DOWN!!!!! (maybe also the fact i've never been in love or been in a relationship or have many friends at all might contribute to my confusion and blasé reaction but make it make sense. i do not understand.)

moving on.

so at the beginning of this little party i was fine. like it was okay to be around new people because there were only two people there who i didn't know and then more started showing up and i felt myself turtle instantly. i shut down and folded into myself. just completely cut myself off from the group because this is something i've always done when confronted with a bunch of people i don't know. i get extremely quiet and reserved and distanced. i'm not sure if it's a defense mechanism from being mocked and outcast in school or what, but it's a go-to in stressful situations (groups of people is a stressful situation for me) and makes for awkward company, which i'm apologetic for but i'm also not about to change it. honestly i'd much prefer being around one person and one person only for future company. i dunno about a life partner or whatever but i'd be happy with a confidante. or like,,,, a neighbor. someone i know i can have irl to keep in touch with and offer support to. bestie lives in utah. we also wouldn't spend a lot of time together if we did live in the same city, so that arrangement wouldn't work lmao

anyhooters. i hate parties, i can't stand overly emotional women, i can make some damn good mango salsa and i need some solid rest. i'm still very tired from this week and my clit is still misbehaving at odd times. whatever. it'll fix itself eventually.

[isfjmel-phleg]

The "Return of the Hero!" arc works as an introduction to Triumph because he is the narrator. We're in on his thought processes and everything he keeps under wraps, which informs how he presents himself outwardly and gives complexity that we wouldn't have otherwise had if we had just seen him externally as this incredibly arrogant guy showing up out of nowhere to make wild claims.

His appearances in Justice League Task Force work too, because even though he's not the narrator there, we are constantly getting his thoughts, just as we do those of his teammates, so we understand where he's coming from even when he's being a jerk (which is like 95-99% of the time).

There are multiple reasons that his solo series turned out to be less than effective. I don't think it had enough space to fully flesh out the story the writer wanted to tell (only four issues, should have been six). There was too much going on (the writer has said that he was going for "layers of complexity" but overdid it), making it difficult to follow. But it also lacked the amount of access to the protagonist's thoughts that his previous appearances provided. It's Will's own series; he should be front and center when it comes to telling the story. The distance from him that the solo has is typical of his tendency to hold people at arm's length, but he should be doing that with the rest of the cast, not with the audience. There's little opportunity to get into his head and follow him as he deals with the unresolved issues with his father and with the realization that he's cut himself off from his humanity. So a lot of his actions don't make total sense. Why, for instance, does he not seek medical treatment when his back is broken? Why does he seem to be fine after this extremely serious injury? The solo never explains either question, and we have to learn in another book entirely about how he uses his powers to stave off pain and paralysis. We miss out on a lot of emotional impact too, having to infer what's going on with Will internally from his expressions and actions alone.

Will is one of those characters who function best when we can get inside their head. He not only is a natural introvert who doesn't share much of himself but also is hiding behind his self-constructed Triumph persona that ramps up his (unfortunately very real) arrogance while concealing the emptiness and loneliness he can't quite acknowledge. The effectiveness of his character is in the tension between what he projects and who he really is, and without half of that conflict, he's just...an inexplicable jerk.