#introduction to two babies that one day showed up in my head and didn't quite leave it

[andromedagarcia]

‘That security officer is hot.’

‘Pete?’

‘I tell you, she’s hot.’

‘How do you even know she’s a woman?’

Espen Bakke was holding a glass full of ambarine liquor in his hand. The third? The fourth? No, not the fourth. Certainly the third. They were having a little celebration – their last job had been an absolute success and they had been able to smuggle Aurora (the drug that was fabricated and only sold in Neon City) into New Atlantis. Without getting caught.

He would have attributed it all to himself, but nah. Petrus was the mastermind here. The giant of a man had decided to wrap the drug in some sort of strange membrane. Apparently, a girl he had slept with once had been a MAST biologist and had explained to him between moans and groans of pleasure that some alien monster from the Aranae system used it to become invisible. Invisible! And that a few years back there had been a scandal when some crazy government worker had tried to sneak a few of them into Akila City, because the contraband scan hadn’t picked them up and… bam. Bingo.

The idea had been born right there and then.

They had gone to the Aranae system, killed a few of those giant bugs and taken their corpses with them. Visited Neon City, bought a lot of Aurora from street vendors, put the package inside of the alien insects and… the rest was history, as they say.

It would have been slightly easier if any of them had known where the creatures’ membranes were located, because they have been disposing of the dead bugs for days. But, Pete’s relationship with the biologist had ended the same night it had started and anyway, it had all worked out in the end, and that was what mattered.

‘She has boobs.’

‘Could still be a guy.’

‘Nah, that’s not a guy.’ Peter shook his head, his glass of beer looking small in his huge hand. ‘And if it was a guy, it’s not like I would care, either. She or he is pretty hot.’ He declared, staring at her ass as she –or he, it was damn impossible to know with that shapeless uniform– continued her rounds.

‘So, what’s next?’

‘Other than spending the money and enjoying each and every second of it?’

‘Yeah. I thought maybe I could go back to bounty hunting. My knee is not as fucked as it was before, so…’

‘You really can’t stay put, can you?’ Petrus laughed again. A laugh that made everyone’s faces turn in their direction. Whatever. They didn’t know what this was about, no one had given them a candle in this burial.

For all they knew, the big man could have just become a dad.

But no, then he wouldn’t be so happy. Not here.

‘Espen, man.’ A slap in his back, so hard that it almost made the shorter man spit his drink all over the wooden surface of the table. ‘Buy a succulent or two and relax. In a few weeks we can plan what’s next.’

───⋆☆─────────────

It was the middle of the night when loud banging noises woke Espen up.

He wouldn’t have been surprised; he lived in the Well. A person who had spent more than a year here would soon find themselves unable to sleep except with the sound of low engines, of constant chatter, of distant music.

But the sounds were coming from his door. A fist, hitting the metal surface of it, repeatedly.

He put on some trousers and went to see if the cacophony had woken his father up.

No.

The old man was still sleeping. Half-deaf as he was, way over seventy years old, this pounding sound was probably nothing but a low murmur for him. Wishing he could also be that lucky, he made his way through the door, already with a very clear idea of what he would find. Or better yet, who he would find.

‘Pete.’

‘Hey man, woke you up?’

He dismissed the answer with a wave of his hand. Espen didn’t sleep much, either way. He offered his friend a seat – he still found it extremely funny how the long-haired man looked out of place sitting in a simple chair, as if it could crash beneath his weight any second – and went to the kitchen to make some coffee.

‘Add a little alcohol into mine, if you can.’ Petrus winked roguishly, with a half smile.

‘It’s…’ Espen wasn’t quite sure what hour it was. ‘Early.’

‘Late for me, I haven’t gone to bed. Want to know why I’m here?’ It was hilarious. This gigantic man, rocking back and forth in his chair like a little kid who couldn’t quite stay put.

‘I’m afraid you’re going to tell me either way.’

‘We have a job.’

‘We?’

Espen would have expected Pete to at least have the decency to blush. But no. The man had accepted a job in his name and his smile hadn’t faltered, not even a tiny bit. In fact, he looked proud, accepting the mug of coffee in his hands and blowing off some of the steam before taking a sip.

‘Yes, we. In fact, they were looking for you, but I made sure to say I was your partner. We need to go to Neon, find a guy, deliver him to Kryx.’

‘Kryx?’ Espen raised both eyebrows, as he took a seat in front of his friend. He had also prepared himself a coffee, but he left it on the table in front of him, untouched. ‘Where the Crimson Fleet is located?’

‘Indeed. The person we are looking for used to work for them, but deserted some time ago. He goes by Vessel. He was last seen in Neon, a few weeks ago, but they say he’s bound to go back. Work’s kinda easy – we go, we capture him, we take him to Kryx and…’

‘Of course,’ Espen snorted. ‘Because he’s going to come with us willingly.’

‘No, but we are two tough guys.’ Pete flexed his, Espen had to admit, quite impressive muscles to make a point. ‘And he has nothing to do against us.’

‘And how much are we getting paid for this?’

There was no point in saying no. Pete had already accepted the gig. And even if he hadn’t… it was good to have something to do, to be on the road again. Not having work meant staying at home, and staying at home meant having to put up with his father and his incessant talking about his dead wife. Espen’s mother.

It hurt, just thinking about her. It would have shown on his features, had it not been because surprise widened his eyes and his lips parted in shock at the amount of credits Petrus had just mentioned.

‘Are you serious? One hundred thousand credits?’

‘I am. Six digits, baby.’

‘Get Venus ready, we’re leaving tomorrow.’

A victorious smile on Peter’s face. A resigned expression on Espen’s – he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and holding his head between his hands. Another contract signed. Another occasion in which his life would be in the utmost danger, and…

He just wished he could get rid of the excitement he felt.

[pwblogarchive]

April 2005

April 5, 2005

i've got a flame gun for all the cute ones

so let's start this one out with how great spring is. seriously. we're in love. jay-z called my phone the other day. for real this is how the conversation went:

jayz: yo pete

me: hello

j: this is j

me: jay who

j: jay-z

me: yeah right

j: no. it is. we're gonna let em know right

me: are you fucking serious

j: we're gonna let the world know about fall out boy

me: yeah. we can do whateveer you want

j: aight . ill see you at one of your new york shows

me: are you serious, this is jay-z

j: ::click::

me: man you are so fucking awesome

j: dialtone

total fan moment.

i guess cause he is the president of defjam and we're on island/defjam that's how come he called. uh WTF?

new things on the horizon:

tentatively titled: the boy with the thorn in his side in "i am the dream, you are the dreamer" - me and travis from gym class and a couple of others began working on this. it will be a slightly different format - about 150-200 pages illustration every 5 pages. similiarly styled but trust me the other was simply an introduction. this won't be out till winter probably.

before that: two pack ultra limited "boy with the thorn" and "rattail" broken heart two pack toy. possibly at the end of summer.

and also, tentatively titled: "rainy day kids" - about 130 pages no illustrations. this book comprises writing from the last 5 years - on the directors cut it was mistakingly called "young hearts be free" - these read alot closer to my journal entries. this should be out by fall...

lots of more stuff coming soon: clandestine.buzznet.com... get over to your local hot topic and pick up some gear - so then maybe they'll grab some of this new stuff to sell too!

the tour has been amazing. we are shooting a new video in the next week or so.

patrick: sing-y/stinky

joe: coughy/nakedy

andy: vegany/music-y

pete: sleepy/no-sleepy

korean dan suh: drunky/more drunky

merch jim: angry/too much merchy

dirty: dirty/dirty

truefuckinglove

peter

p.s. thanks for showing me all of those new bands. i liked a bunch of them. if you guys know any bands that kind of sound like hellogoodbye (smaller unsigned ones only cause the bigger ones i have heard)--- lemme know. cause that band rules.

April 5, 2005

dear trophy boys and secrets girls-

welcome to the next phase of our life. we hope we can look at the world in a new way. we're really excited for may 3 and warped tour but until then come on out to the FBR friends and family tour. long live our car crash hearts.

peterabbit

April 13, 2005

hey girls. special post for you. i am looking for a womens blazer that would fit a dude about my size- black or striped or whatever. ill trade you something cool. collar shirts too. im down for whatever. bring it to the show, ill trade you up. love peter

btw- xs in dudes, probably m or l in girls.... aaaaaaannnnd dont feel like you gotta bring anything but your smile- woo.

- petey

April 13, 2005

Love. We got you. Tour has been amazing. Midtown just dropped off, silverstein picked it up. People will be missed, new friends will be made. We got you on the bussiness end of the barrel. Get into it or drop out, hit it or quit it. New record soon. We just shot a new video for "sugar we're going down", its kind of weird. Its definitely the most time and money we have ever spent on a video. We hope you love it. Lets just say there is a fireplace, a bear head, deers and upstate new york outdoors involved. Our friend matt lenski who shot all those cute little baby chick mtv commercials. "We should move somewherer deep in the middle of july" she said. You know how I get down (and out). They say he could have anyone but that just means no one. And I'm foggy like london but without all the class and dignity. More like northern florida in august. I'm getting off(line). Sweating it out in the dark. I am all breaths and heartbeats. Goddamn baby, it not me its you. Or whatever.

Today was a good day.

I didn't have to use my a.k.

Make me electric. Peter

April 14, 2005

the list:

ins/outs of 2005:

in:

snapping bras

panic at the disco

drama and gossip

waking up at 10am

makeup that makes you look like a girl

huge watches make your wrist hurt

lust

"headwalks"

phonecalls home

bunklife

brutal honesty

real life friend cuts

pretending to be girls on myspace and messing with dudes who are creepy

windy city heat

saying you knew fall out boy way back when

out:

wearing underwear

makeup that makes you look goth

going to sleep at 10am

huge belt buckles that make your waist hurt

love

"crowdsurfing"

phonecalls to ______ _____

hotellife

lying

livejournal friend cuts

being a creepy dude on myspace and sending girls messages

being friends with fall out boy now

April 19, 2005

“naked peek a boo what.”

brendanP!ATD: Dude my mouth and mostly my tongue is all leathery from eating too many gobstoppers.

BrendanP!ATD: its so shitty

PeteFOB: hahaha

PeteFOB: thats the price of sweetness

oh yeah. just to ruin your crush on me i went and dyed my hair black and purple. hehe. oh and yes i do have a sister.

i want a girl that doesnt have time to think things through

April 21, 2005

“namedrop it like it’s hot”

sorry cincinatti, we had an early buscall and patricks sick and im sick in the head. i let a ghost catch me.

sometimes its (not) okay to lose your mind.

peter

04/21/05 Q&A

question

pete. brendon urie or ryan ross?

answer

neither. im a spence kind of boy. definitely. cause then his name would be Spence Wentz

question

Pete, Do you ever have any “Wet Dreams”? If so of whom? hmmm…?

answer

once i fell asleep in the van between two dudes and had a crazy wet dream when i woke up they were both looking at me. but not like a “oh boy you rule” look more like a “what just happened” look but oh boy did it rule.

April 24, 2005

guys and stellasssss. this tour is amazing. we are lining up some fun things for may- including a mini-tour and maybe a couple of other suprises for you. i hate to have to bring the drama but.

1. i do not have a girlfriend

2. i do not have a boyfriend

3. lindsey lohan is just a friend

i found this amazing band you'll fall in love with soon.

xxoo peter

April 24, 2005

Okay the last entry was obviously a joke. Pretty much I am in love with being on tour but my private life will always be my private life. The people I date or don't date aren't really worth IMing me about. xxoo peeeeeete.

04/24/05

question

William Beckett vs. Peter Wentz for the title of FBR Sex Symbol… who wins and why?

answer

mike cardin because he just said “butcher tell your dyke ass mom to stop calling my phone”- and thats just insane. besides what me and bill do behind closed doors is our thing not fbrs.

April 26, 2005

Here we are under the radar across the border. I’m sorry I seem to have lost my mind.

Me: how bad did I look on tv?

You: you looked okay

You: would it be gay of my to tell you that the purple brought out you eyes?

Me: hahahaha

Safe.

Patricks birthday is tommorrow. I am in love with him so give him presents.

Still l i/o ving

Xxoo

04/27/05

question

my boyfriend is tall and asian and has a boycrush on pete. if you ever see him would you give him a smooch on the cheek?

answer

i already have one asian boy i’m dating and his name is korean tom cruise.

April 30, 2005

I'm sore throat singing through the curtain at you down the hall in the dark and you're asleep or just a good actor. In my head this is the way we'll always be. Me walking out dripping wet, trailing my finger nails against the picture frames on the walls. Slipping back into whatever and being careful shut the door so I don't wake anyone.

Washington d.c. Has got us under this amazing spell. We are on our way to bamboozle fest, see you in new jersey tommorrow. Ill be up at 9am looking for the sun. Stop by the clandestine booth all weekend, we'll be giving away clandestine slap bracelets (you know like the ones that everyone loved in the 80s).

[cherrykindness]

wild tweets |

pairing: Harry Styles x Actress!Reader

summary: as newlyweds, you and harry read thirsty comments for buzzfeed.

warning: it's thirsty tweets, so below there is adult humor 😳

"It's a bright, sunny morning in Los Angeles, and there's nothing I want more than to be on BuzzFeed and read wild tweets alongside my husband."

"Thirsty tweets, babe." Harry corrected, laughing out loud with the producers behind the cameras.

"Thirsty Tweets." You said quickly, putting your hand over your mouth to stifle a giggle. "I'm terrible at that, I'm sorry. Can we start over?"

"Let's take a break for one to two minutes. You've given us a great introduction, Y/N."

You shook your head, smiling shyly before turning to Harry, who was already watching you with that easy smile at the corner of his lips. You liked how his hand remained firmly on yours, making those circular movements with the thumb that always served as a natural medice for your anxiety.

"You look so fucking beautiful."

The pleated dress with flounce sleeves fit you like a glove. You had made peace with the various shades of white since the wedding and knew that Harry liked to see you in that color too.

"Thank you, you're not too bad either, Styles."

You intimately suspected that Harry would always seem far beyond that "not bad" that came out as a euphemism from your mouth. He wore nothing but a pair of bell-bottom pants in a strong shade of blue and a soft vest printed with fluffy little sheep on a striped American collared shirt - in your opinion, no one could look better in farm animal clothing than Harry Styles and Princess Diana with her red "Black Sheep" sweater in the 1980s. In contrast, you knew your husband well enough to know that he was arrogant and knew exactly how hot he looked - you also made your thoughts clear enough when you kept him backstage beyond ten minutes in a rather heated kissing session.

"Are you anxious?" you asked curiously, remaining with downcast eyes fixed on the strokes that remained assiduous on your warm skin. "To read about how the whole internet dreams of fucking my wife?! Of course." Harry joked, leaning over to leave a small one on your cheek. "We agree on that, don't we? Although I'm a little nervous, I'm really interested to know all the crazy things they say about you. Everyone knows you're mine at the end of the day, that's enough."

At the end of the break, you and Harry made a silent agreement that you should be the first to pick up one of the scattered papers in the red pot. There were quite a significant amount of tweets, and as much as you were used to reading rather sordid things about your husband on the Internet, the excitement was there as if you were wading into uncharted territory.

"I would be a good girl all year round if Santa guaranteed me a threesome with Harry and Y/N Styles on Christmas Eve." You laughed, Harry staring at the camera with an expression close to the meme of the surprised Pikachu. "You guys are incredibly nasty, I love it."

"If that was the first one, I'm really worried about the next ones." Harry commented with a little corner smile, picking the next tweet out of the bucket. "I have an entire folder on Pinterest dedicated to Harry Styles' hands, and let me tell you why: those hands are art, and art needs to be recognized."

"What- Guys, you promised you wouldn't post my anonymous tweets here." You quipped with false reproach, laughing at your own stupid joke while everyone else in the studio did the same. "But I can't blame her, honestly." Shaking your shoulders, you opened another piece of paper. "Harry Styles finally confessed that he wrote Watermelon Sugar for Y/N!!!! Are you guys imagining the same thing as me?!!!!!! 🥵🍆💦"

"Exhausted emoji, eggplant emoji, and water emoji?" Harry frowned, staring at the tweet you held up. "I imagine you're in need of a vacation somewhere refreshing and you're craving a fruit that everyone eats like it's really a vegetable."

"That reminded me of that story-" You laughed, hiding your face on the table as Harry continued to offer a poker face to the camera, struggling not to keep up with you laughter. "I'm sorry, lovie, I have to share this with the rest of the world." You stated, wiping a few tears from the corner of your eyes. "Harry always wears those fancy suits to concerts, right?! Right! Turns out he looks really hot in some, like his ass molds perfectly into those tight pants and everything. I was home that night because I wasn't feeling well enough to face the big crowds, but I was still following everything on twitter. It was a concert in London, not so far from where we lived at the time, so it was obvious that he would come home after it was over. I follow some portals that do really fast updates of pictures, videos, etc; everything that happened at Harry's concert was on my timeline in a matter of seconds. When one of these profiles uploaded a picture of him with his back to the camera in a heavily accentuated black and white suit, I quickly sent him the image along with a peach emoji and then wrote "looks good tonight". He didn't reply to me until a few hours later, of course, but I obviously didn't expect a "ready for a Fifth Avenue peach salad for dinner?" and numerous cutlery emojis."

Harry rolled his eyes comically, indulging in laughter as did everyone else who occupied the backstage area.

"I'm against the eroticization of emojis." He said between uncompensated breaths, shaking his head negatively. "Let's go to the next ones, please, I'm already feeling exposed enough here."

"I like your old-fashioned spirit, baby." You assured him with a smile, laying on the sturdy shoulder hidden under the fluffy fabric.

Harry chuckled low, leaving a little kiss on the top of your head before selecting the next paper. The fans would die when that video aired, everyone was sure. You two easily forgot the cameras when you were side by side, and the public display of affection had never been a problem.

"My life mission is to look at someone the way Harry looks at Y/N and be reciprocated the way Y/N looks at Harry, then I could die happy." Harry read. "That was very good and healthy, thank you!" He smiled. "But don't settle for death in that case, please. Just make sure to keep that person around forever."

"Awn, we got so sweet now." You made a pout. "Thank you for sending us something so cute! I really hope you find the right person soon." Sending a kiss to the camera, you moved on to the next tweet. "I wouldn't want to get a golden ticket to visit Willy Wonka's factory, I would like to get a golden ticket to actively participate in Y/N and Harry Styles' Honeymoon.

"That was creative, so I will disregard the fact that you removed my last name from my wife's name." Harry joked.

"I will always be an Y/L/N." You flashed the tongue. "We had a great Honeymoon, but I know you guys already know all about it because there are pictures all over the internet of outings that I don't even remember existed."

"Even though we chose a rather reserved city, many paparazzi still managed to photograph some of our nights there." Harry agreed. "There was one particular day when we opted to have dinner at a restaurant near the beach. Y/N had found it even before the trip, it was pretty laid back and we could spend the evening at karaoke. I don't really remember what happened, but we woke up the next day with a terrible hangover, still wearing the clothes from the dinner and with several headlines saying that I was cheating on my wife in the middle of our Honeymoon with a blue-haired italian girl."

"That wig made me sexy, man." You blinked, laughing as you remembered the situation. "It's a shame the paparazzi only got low quality images, but I swear I looked really amazing that night. Italy, I miss you."

"We're coming to the end and I haven't had to ask production for a glass of water yet, thank you to whoever selected these tweets." Harry raised his thumb to the camera, smiling before turning his gaze back to the small paper he had chosen. "Y/N could literally punch me in the face and I would just bow down and thank them for it." He laughed. "She has heavy hands, so I would rethink that choice."

"It takes strong hands to be a superheroine." You blinked gracefully, referring to your works as a Marvel actress. "I move around a lot during the night, so I'll take this lovely opportunity to say that twitter can dismiss all the malicious theories about Harry always show up with a new bruise all over his body."

"Please stop making indecent assumptions while Y/N is aggressive with me at night only unconsciously, her father has access to social media."

You laughed, clearing your throat before reading the next obscenity aloud.

"I would sell all my possessions to have Y/N sitting on my lap for ten seconds."

"Oh my God." Harry laughed out loud, throwing his head back. "I should have said that in our wedding vows."

You shook your head, laughing low as you set the tweet aside.

"That was pretty funny and cheeky, I approve."

"Okay, looks like we finally got to the last one." Harry announced, waving the paper in the air dramatically before opening it. "Harry could literally crush me with those boots while fuc- I need that glass of water." He said dumbfounded, hiding his face between his hands after throwing the tweet over his shoulder. You laughed out loud next to the organizers, and meanwhile Harry leaned his head on your bust, staring at you still with wide eyes. "Please promise that we will be careful with our future children on the internet."

[moved2usagiiboo]

Love spell

MINORS DNI (I know I can not stop you but if I find out, you will be blocked.) This is my first time writing a fan fiction on Tumblr, let's see how this goes !

Warnings: Degrading, face fucking, explicit description, oral male receiving, sexual acts using toys. (Let me know if I missed any)

As a young girl, you believed in finding your prince charming, he'd swoop in on his mighty steed and steal your heart. You'd be enamored by his wits and courage, and he your beauty and intelligence. "The one".

At the age of 17, a high school student obsessed with the idea of traditional love. You found him. Your one and only, but he was far from prince charming, he didn't ride a mighty steed nor own a castle, but he was yours and you love him. Your highschool sweetheart, you both have cried together, laughed together, experienced many emotions together. You, in many ways, were each other's firsts.

First break down, first date, first hand holding, first kiss, first lover, and after a year of dating, you were each others' first time.

You could still remember the night, you have both been planning this for months. On your one year anniversary, you would get a room for the night at a local love hotel, there would be soft music playing, dimmed lights, candles burning, and that's where and how he take your virginity and you his. Perfect.

It didn't go that way to say the least, being very inexperienced. The first time he tried to penetrate you, you pushed him off and hide under the blanket saying, "that's not going to fit", during foreplay you accidentally hit his head with your own, not to mention almost setting the room on fire with the lit candles. But after many laughs and giggles, you successfully lost your virginity to him and you couldn't be happier.

It was far from movie perfect but for both you and him it was everything and more.

Present day you are almost two years into your relationship and you both couldn't be happier. Draken treated you with the utmost respect and care, he always takes care of you, there's barely any arguments between the two of you. Everything is perfect. Kind of.

That's how you found yourself in the streets of Shibuya's red light district, near the brothel where your lover grew up in, so you think. You looked down at your phone.

"Shit!" You hit the side of your phone as it read "connection lost, rerouting", this had been the third time it has done this, you zoned out while trying to fix your phone so you can actually make it to your destination before it gets too late. You didn't hear the woman calling your name.

"Y/N!" You felt a hand gripping your shoulder, spinning you around to face them.

"Oh! Akai!" You exclaimed happily as you locked eyes with the person in front of you, a younger woman in a red silk dress, short blonde hair with long lashes.

"What are you doing out here? It's late. Shouldn't you be home by now?" She asked in a concerned tone looking you up and down. You wore an all black hoodie with baby yellow accents, along with black joggers.

"Oh, well, I'm was looking for you." You said bashfully with a slight giggle in your tone.

"Oh?" Akai questioned.

"Well, not you specifically but the hotel! You see, I got lost trying to find it and my stupid phone keeps rerouting me!" You complained, while pushing your phone in her face to show her your problem. She simply laughs, she locks arms with yours.

"Dont worry, big sister Akai will take you there, then you can explain why you're looking for us in the first place." Akai said with a wink.

A few minutes passed and you've arrived at the brothel, she brought you a drink and sat you down in her room with a couple of other girls, you all on the floor together, after short introductions and small talk Akai 'cut to the chase' as she likes to say. Chugging her bottle of beer, she looked at you with her slightly flushed face, along with the rest of the girls there.

"Spill the beans, whats going on? Trouble in paradise?" Akai smirked crawling her way towards you. You lifted your knees to your chest wondering if you should even be here, was this a stupid idea? You must've sat with your thoughts for a while, Akai looked at you with a bit of sadness in her eyes.

You could feel your face heating up with embarrassment, your heart was beating out of your chest. You figured this would be the best place to go to learn how to do it but what if they would make fun of you? What if they tell Draken? You really didn't think this through as well as you should have.

"Hey, whatever is going on.. You can tell us, we see you like our little sister ya' know?" She says with a smile, wrapping her arm around your shoulder to comfort you. Shes always been like this, ever since she walked in on you and Draken kissing, she's been the biggest help and supporter of your relationship. You couldn't ask for a better friend.

With a deep breath you decide tell them your issues, you were here anyways.

"Okay, so, I want to learn how to give oral." You said looking down at the ground fiddling your fingers, quite embarrassed about what you just said.

"Draken has, well, done it to me a couple of times and I wanted to return the favor. The thing is, everytime I try he rejects me. Telling me, 'i don't have to do things like that'. He's so considerate sometimes it pisses me off." You ranges to the girls as they listened with opening ears.

"I mean, what type of guy rejects a blow job? It's not like he has erectile dysfunction or his dick is small. I just don't get it." You were practically fuming at the memory of him pushing him off of you as you tried to suck him off.

"Maybe he's just shy?" One of the girl's offered her opinion.

"Oh no, this man is not shy! At all" You explained remembering some of the down right filthiest things he's muttered in your ears during your time together. "He's anything but that."

"Maybe he's scared you'll bite it." Akai said causing herself and others to snicker at her comment. You could only sigh.

"Would I be that bad my first time?" You muttered to yourself.

"Everybody is, it's a practice thing." Akai explained, she got up to grab herself another bottle of beer. "What you need, is practice." She smirked handing you the bottle.

"Yeah, but how? He won't let me." You said tilting your head at her statement, taking the bottle out her hand.

"Alright girlies, get out." Akai said while looking at the other women in the room with the two of you.

"Ehhh? Whyy? We wanna help too!" One of the girl exclaimed, getting multiple replies of other girls who agree.

"We don't wanna make Y/n feel any more embarrassed than she already does." Also sighed at the childish responses of her coworkers.

You were hiding your face in your phone at this point, it was honestly one of your worst ideas, but if it helped you with Draken it was worth it.

Small "awh man", "I wanted to hear more", and other complaints came out their mouths as they left the room one by one. You waves goodbye to the girls muttering a small thank you to them for listening.

"Alright!" Akai exclaimed while squatting down to reach under her bed, pulling out a box full of,

"Toys! The best practice you can get in such a small amount of time." She smirked pushing the box towards you. You could feel the blood rush to your face as you stared at the box filled with sex toys, you're far from innocent but there's still things you've never used or seen before, toys being one of them. Akai dug in the box full of excitement.

"I'll be your first!" She smirked, she pulled out multiple many toys just throwing them out the box without a care as to where they'll land. Finally, she pulled out an unopened box, "private fun" read the lable, it was all black with dark purple letters on it, it was a sleek box, very fancy to say the least.

"I haven't used this one yet, considering I never feel the need to. This'll be my first gift to you." She said tossing the box to you while looking for something else in her closet.

"Just what exactly is this?" You asked picking up the box to further examine it.

"A dildo! Duh." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world,

"Oh! And this!" She threw a small bottle towards you, "Love spell" a small pink bottle that could be mistaken for a 5-hour energy drink.

"Draken won't be back home for a while, which means, we have around" She looked at the clock hanging on her wall, "an hour and thirty minutes. Which is just enough time!"

"Wait wait wait!" You looked at her with complete confusion, "I have no idea what's going on! Why do I need all of this?" You looked at your hand and the items that are now in your possession, "Love spell", a dildo, and beer.

"Welllllll," Akai said drawing out the word, "You need practice, not like you can fuck a rando before Draken gets back, you also need liquid courage and a secret weapon!" She explained. "Now we don't have much time, chug both the beer and our secret weapon." She winked at you.

You're really starting to reject your decision, but there's no backing out now. You opened the bottle of whatever was in the pink container and chugged it down, quickly opening the beer to help with the bitter taste of the first liquid. It could show on your face the level of disgust you had for drinking this, you could never understand how Draken drank beer all the time, and whatever the hell this 'love spell' is taste disgusting. It was bitter and tangy, it even overpowered the beer.

Akai worked on opening the package to the dildo, while you were dealing with the taste of the liquids you just drank. She looked at you with menacing eyes and a devious smile that sent shivers down your spine.

She stood up and squatted in front of you holding that item in her hand as if it was nothing. Your eyes widened at the sight of it, it was big, yet flimsy. It was a pretty light blue color for such a naughty item.

"Take it." She handed you the dildo, "grip it with both hands." And so you did it. Following her every command.

"N-Now what?" You questioned feeling slight tipsy from the bottle of beer you just chugged, your face flushed from either holding a dildo or the beer, you couldn't tell, but it made this whole situation a lot worse for your lower region.

"Open." Akai tapped the bottom of your chin telling you to open your mouth, and so you did with the most innocent look in your eyes.

"Slowly bring it to your mouth, you want to tease him, lick the tip." You stuck your tongue out making small swirls onto the tip of the fake cock, "Alright, now slowly take it in, don't force anything." You opened your mouth wider to take in the inches of the cock, bringing it to the back of your throat causing you to choke and gag as it hit it. You quickly pulled the fake dick out and began to cough.

"I told you slowly. Let's try again." She squished your face with a hand pulling it up, the other held onto the dildo. "Open." She said again and you did. She guided the dildo into your mouth, slowly moving it in and out, barley reaching the back of your throat. "Breathe through your nose, don't panic." She said as she began to pick up the pace. Rapidly moving the dildo in and out. "Use your tongue at the bottom of it, stick it out." She commanded. Spit began to drip from the side of your mouth onto the floor, you felt as if you were losing yourself. Tears welled in your eyes as you swallowed down the dildo. It wasnt even real, it wasn't even Draken's but for some reason it made your head pound and your pussy twitch with excitement. If this feels as good as it does, you couldn't help but wonder how Draken's would feel, how it would feel against the back of your throat.

Akai picked up on the pace making the dildo hit the back of your throat causing you to convulse onto the dildo, you close an eye and winces as it attacked your throat.

"Try it yourself." She said letting go, letting you have full control. You started slow, pushing the dildo in and out your mouth as she did, trying to follow her lead. You tried to take more of it, you shoved the dildo deep into your throat, forcing all the inches into your mouth, you could feel it bulge through your throat as held it in place forcing you to choke on it. You felt your warm tears drip down your face, you weren't letting up. You wanted to feel it down your throat, the warm, the tightness, you wanted to feel Draken. You finally pulled it out, watching as the inches slipped out of your mouth.

"Guess what bottle really did wonders!" Akai giggled. "Deepthroating huh? You're basically a pro." You looked at her with a stained face, drool down the side of your mouth, and glassy eyes. You finally felt the embarrassment hit you, you covered your face dropping the dildo onto the ground making incoherent noises.

"I think you're ready." She smirked patting your head watching you in distress.

"I am?" You questioned, it was that easy?

"Yep! Actually, take this." She tossed you one last thing before telling you to go wait in his room. As you walked to his room you felt your head ring, the only thing you could hear was the needy throbbing of your inner walls. You couldn't wait for Draken to get back, just what did Akai give you? You had no time to be embarrassed about what you just did in the other room, you just wanted him. All of him.

You found yourself in his barley lit room, sitting on his bed. It was him, his scent, you could feel him around you even if he wasn't physically present. Your inner walls clenched at the thought of your boyfriend. You changed out of your clothes and into what Akai gave you, it was a sleek princess pink teddy with a deep V neck to perfectly show off your breasts. There were straps in the back that cupped your ass making it look juicier than before. There was a deep slit in the middle of the dress, a small move and not only would your stomach be revealed but your pussy would be as well. You made your way over to his bed to wait, you sat down and got engulfed in his smell. It was painful to just wait, the way your panties got wetter by the second, you decided to lay down but it only got worse. Minutes passed by but it felt like hours, you wanted to call him and tell him to hurry but you already showed up unannounced. You didn't want to pester him anymore, so you waited. You don't know when but you found your walls squeezing your fingers tightly as you moved them in and out. Moans and a wet sound filled the room as you toyed with yourself. Your face was in his pillow breathing him in as your other hand was toying with your breasts, pinching, squeezing, and pulling your nipples. It felt good but not good enough, it couldn't bring you to that high that Draken could. You found yourself calling him out, chanting his him like a mantra underneath your moans. You didn't even notice when he came in the room.

"Y/N?" Draken called out as he closed the door. The look on his face was priceless, his gaping mouth and widened eyes as he looked at the sight of you being so desperate for him calling out his name with fingers inside your cunt.

"D-Draken, m'sorry, couldnt wait. Need you." You whined. Pushing your fingers deeper making your back arch. At this point, he was stunned. The shy girl who never seeked anything sexual, the same girl who blushes when they held hands even after being together all the time. That girl was fingering herself on his bed begging for his cock. It was an instant turn on.

"S'all your fault!" You cried out with tears in your eyes, you got up and looked him in the eyes. "All cause you won't let me touch you..." You pouted.

"Ha? What are you talking about?" Draken questioned you. You weren't paying attention to him, you crawled from the bed stepping on the cold floor with your bare feet. You got on your hands and knees in front of Draken, looking at him with the utmost admiration, but behind those eyes was a look of neediness.

"W-What are you doing?" He watched as you played with his belt buckle, you locked eyes with him once more,

"Can't I?" You asked, kissing the bulge through his pants, "Want you, wanna feel you in my throat." You pulled his pants down revealing his boxers, you rubbed your hand feeling the hardness through the fabric, placing small kisses on it while you you waited for a go, a sign, anything.

"Shit Y/n, who knew you could be so slutty hm?" Draken smirked, "Go ahead." You beamed a smile at him as you pulled his boxers down revealing his harden cock. This is the first time you've seen it up close, it's pretty. It almost looks angry with how flushed it is on the top.

You began to kiss his freed cock, starting from the shaft up, remembering what Akai taught you. Tease him. Littering his cock with kisses, you reached the tip, you began to leave small kitten licks, swirling your tongue on around the tip, prodding the tip of your tongue into the small hole on his cock.

"Shit," Draken muttered under his breath, his voice sounds as if it's gotten deeper. You look up at him to see his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes completely focused on you. "Stop with the teasing." He demanded.

"Don't wanna." You continued to look at him, staring into his gorgeous orbs, "s'punishment for not letting me do this early" You smirked against his dick, bringing one of your hands up to slowly move your hand up and down his shaft. You watched as his breath started to break, his tough exterior was crumbling and it was all because of you, but it wasn't enough, you want to keep going. You have a show to put on.

You open your mouth sucking on just the tip of his cock, bobbing your head slowly with swirling his tip in your mouth.

"Y/N, fuck." He places his hand behind your head as his breath began to get more rapid and broken apart. "Come on, take some more." He was practically begging at this point. So slowly but surely, you widened your mouth, stuck your tongue out, and pushed your head further down to his cock. As much as you could take, the remainder you began to jerk with your hand. Bobbing your head on the inches you could take up and down with jerking him off. Listening to his soft grunts and groans. He was big, you knew this but it's different with it's in your throat, you can see it, your mouth felt full and you didn't even completely take it in. You kept going on this pace, proud of yourself for breaking Draken's tough exterior.

"Going to damn slow." He gripped the back of your head forcing his cock down your throat, you gag at this sudden action. He uses your mouth like a rag doll, forcing his cock in and out your mouth and a hellish pace without stopping, bobbing your head up and down. It hurts, taking all of him.

"Wanna be a dirty slut, gonna treat you like one." He said while gripping your hair harder as he pulled you off his cock, "spit on it." He said, and you did, you spat on the shaft of his cock and opened your mouth again for him to assault your throat.

"So eager to take this dick hm? Couldn't even wait for me to get home, had to play with yourself while I was gone? Who knew my pretty girl was such a dirty slut." He chuckled, under his breath as he continues to use you however he pleased. You placed your hands on either side of his thigh to try and control the pace but it was futile, he was much stronger than you, all you could do was hold yourself up and try not to vomit. Drool dripped down the side of your mouth as he thrusted his cock down your throat.

"Taking all this dick, good girl." He praised you as he held your head against his pelvis forcing his dick down your throat, he looked smug as he saw the outline of his cock through the flesh of your throat, you slapped his thigh to try and get him to let go of you, needing air. The feeling of you shaking on his cock trying to push away to get air was a sight to behold for him, he wanted to bury his cock in your throat forever, never taking it out. He watched as tears dripped down your face, your hair was mess, face stained with tears, drool dripping out the corners of your mouth. You gagging on his cock, digging your nails into his thigh.

Draken finally let go, you gasps for air you so desperately needed.

"Open up." He says pushing your head back, "Stick that slutty tongue of yours out. Gonna cum in your mouth."

You put your hands on your knees, sitting up higher to put the tip of his cock in your mouth as he jerked it. His eyes glared at you, you listened to his grunts like a melody. You never seen him like this, during sex he was very calm and collected, gentle. Never used harsh words, this was different though. For some reason, being used like his cocksleeve had you dripping.

"Gonna cum, Y/n, take it all, don't spill a single drop." His warm cum spurted onto your tongue, he wiped his tip clean on your tongue "that's it, good girl, now swallow it." You closed your mouth and with a single gulp you downed his cum without a second thought.

"Tastes weird..." Wiping the drool from your mouth with the back of your hand. Draken lifts you up by your arm and tosses you on the bed.

"Had to go and get me riled up..." He said while taking his shirt off, "gonna fill you up real nice." He pushed his lips against yours hungrily devouring your mouth, tasting a mixture of both liquor and his own cum, his mouth explored your own in a heated make out session, his hand traveled down past your panties and onto your bare cunt, a finger pushed pass your slit making it's way in. You moaned into the kiss, giving Draken more access to your mouth, swirling his tongue with your own.

You pulled away from the kiss to let out a soft moan as his finger toys with you, he puts another one in causing you to arch your back. His other hand rubs soft circles on your clit, he claims your mouth with another hungry kiss as if this will be the last time he felt your lips against his own.

"So needy, barely did anything to you." You moaned against his lips as he brought you to a high.

"D-Draken!" You moaned out.

"Fuck, trying to amputate my fingers? Loosen up. " He grumbles, his lips go down to your neck, sucking and biting against your fleshing leaving bruises everywhere his mouth touches. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him in closer, as you begin to grind your hips against his fingers as they work their way in and out of you and the others against your clit.

"Gonna cum on my fingers?" He questions in your ear while biting your ear lobe.

"Gonna cum on em!" You reply, moving your hips faster, you begin to convulse as he brings you to your well deserved orgasm.

"You're gonna do that all on my cock." He muttered against your neck as he works his way down to your tits. He puts his fingers in your mouth muffling your moans as he begins to suck on your now perky nipples. He pushes his fingers in and out your mouth forcing you to taste your own juices, the same fingers that were just in you, that brought you to your orgasm.

After assaulting your mouth with his fingers he reaches over to the side his of bed to grab a condom.

"Put it on for me." Still high on your orgasm you slowly reach your hand up to take the condom out of his own, that's when he pushes your head own to his cock. He rips the packaging placing just the tip of his cock into the condom.

"Use that pretty mouth of yours." He smirks as he watches you take all of his dick into your mouth, pushing the condom down in the process. "Make sure to get it all the way on, wouldn't want any cum to spill out hm?" He says as he caresses your head.

"Such a good girl." He praises you as you bring your head up, "Gonna make you feel real good okay?" He kisses your forehead as he leans you down into the mattress. He slaps your pussy a couple of times with his cock, prodding the tip at the entrance, pushing his tip every so softly in and out, barley giving you anything to work with.

"Stop with the teasing Draken." You whined, locking your legs around his waist, trying to push his cock further into you. He clicks his tongue at your actions, pulling himself completely out before lifting one of your legs and putting it on his shoulder.

"I don't remember you being in control here." He guffed out. He rammed his cock into you without warning causing you to gasp, your eyes wide and mouth agape. "That's more like it." He smirks at your appearance.

He begins to thrust in and out of your tight pussy, watching you unravel on his cock. One hand holding your leg on his shoulder and the other turning your head to face him.

"This what you wanted right?" He honeyed out, this voice being quite sweet unlike his thrusts, the way his cock pulled out of you only to slam right back in. Sounds of skin against skin filled the room, along with your sweet mouths chanting his name like once before.

He pried your mouth open with his fingers bringing his face closer only to spit in your mouth, "Good little whore" he mutters against your ear. His thrusts never stopped, not once, he keeps going until he brings you to an orgasm.

He could feel your body going limp, but he wasn't done yet. He flipped lifted your body, he was now on his knees and you on his lap, your hands tangled in his hair while being wrapped around his neck, his mouth devouring your nipple, he slams his cock into you while being in this new position. His hands on either side of your waist slamming your body onto his own matching the rythm of his thrusts. He bites down on your nipple, you pull his hair as payback, you finally meet eyes. His hair all disheveled and out of his normal braid, his eyes slanted, full of hunger, he looked like a animal eyeing his prey, and you looked extremely delicious right now. He captures your lips in a heated kiss as his grip tightens on your waist, you grind against his cock as you moan into the kiss. You suck on his tongue and he does yours, you bite his lower lip slightly tugging on it.

"God Y/n, who knew you were so cock hungry. Wouldn't have been going so easy on you of I knew you could take it." He chuckles as he lays your body back down onto the mattress and begins pounding your body against his locking his lips with yours again.

"You're sucking me in like crazy." His voice is rough and out of breath. Your walls only tightening around him while hearing his voice, his hand goes back down to your clit rubbing it aggressively.

"Fuck, I'm close, fuck fuck fuck." He announces, muttering an array of curse words as he feels himself getting closer to his climax. "Cum with me, cum on my cock one last time." He picks up the pace with his thrust and the attack on your poor nub, you were nothing more than a moaning drooling mess at this point subject to Draken's aggressiveness, your body shakes and your back arches for the last time as you release your juices onto Draken's cock coming to your final high, he thrusts one last time before he releases in the condom.

He pulls out taking off the condom and throwing it in the nearby bin, he watches as you slowly drift to sleep but not before saying, "I love you."

"Mhm, I love you too, my little vixen." He kisses your forehead before he lays next to you and drifts to sleep.

Sorry if this wasn't the best, it was my first time writing for Draken. He's kind of a difficult character, I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!

[staygolddindjarin]

Grief

Chapter two: Rebellion

Din Djarin x Reader x Cassian Andor

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter warnings: some brief angst, this ones pretty mellow ngl

Words: 3.3k

A/n: i was not expecting such a good response from the first chapter but bruh you guys are amazing- anyway here's part two of my brain's misery

Part 2/?

The trip from Mandalore to the planet of Dantooine was long, and still ongoing. We all took turns, watching to see if we were any closer. After each jump from hyperspace, the transport would stop at a space refueling tank, before slowly going onward toward the destination. We must have been traveling several systems across the galaxy. We had a few laughs, mainly while watching Gander try and steal Shyloh's food from his knapsack while he was sleeping. Most of the other time we all just sat in silence, up until this point.

"What do you think we're all going to do once we get to the rebel base?" Merc raised his voice slightly, barely capturing our attentions as we had all been dozing off, and Shyloh was taking watch at the view point.

"What do you mean?" I had asked, not quite sure of what he was getting at. I sat up straighter against the wall, showing my interest in the newfound conversation.

"What branch do you think you'll end up in?" He was in a daze as he spoke, almost unsure of his intentions of bringing it up. His dark eyes were nearly emotionless under his furrowed brow.

"I hadn't really thought about it. I would say maybe something like mechanics," I said, thinking of the best possible use of my talents. I'm sure there's plenty of mechanical help already assisting the rebels, but with the galactic empire growing it's forces by the day, they needed all the help they could get.

"What about flying?" Shyloh perked up from his seat at the window.

"What about it?" I asked, curious as to why he suddenly thought of the new topic.

"You could do it of you wanted to. Be a pilot, I mean. You have the skills," He told me, but I scoffed. He wasn't in any way shape or form was making an ounce of sense at all.

"Speeder control races are a bit different from piloting fighters against the imperial troops don't you think?" I laughed at the idea, but he rolled his eyes, persistent with his opinion.

"It's less different than you think it is. Also mind you, I never saw you lose a race," He objected, but I wasn't having any of it.

"That's because when I raced, my own credits were on the line," I joked, seeing what he would try and come up with next, only to be met with a cold hard stare, before an answer that would shake me to my core.

"Well, now the freedom of the galaxy is on the line."

My smile dropped from my face and I turned to face the other two, who were looking back at me. They didn't expect that answer either. Shyloh was well known to be a boy of few words, and only really spoke to his friends and family. He was a founding just like the rest of them, but he had been with ths clan longer, due to having been saved from a war infested home as a baby.

He could sometimes be very wise, even if he didn't think he was being so. We weren't sure what it was, but he had this sort of presense that was so powerful. We knew when he would walk in a room, or walk out of it. It's like the air would change. Much like it changed now, with his words rendering us all speechless.

The silence was uncomfortable, and I was the one who left it unresloved, so I spoke up in favor of my crewmates to not keep quiet any longer.

"Perhaps I shall see where I am needed first."

"Perhaps you shouldn't be so afraid to explore an option you would excel in," He again rendered me speechless, and I did not have anything else to say this time. I was young, but my mind was not. I could comprehend thoughts the same way that an adult could. I could handle things just as well and if not better than some, too. He was right. I was simply afraid.

"I think we're finally here," Shyloh said, turning back to look out of the view port again.

"Its about time," Gander stood up, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and standing at the transport door waiting for it to slide up.

We all followed suit, but Shyloh stopped us and held up a warning finger to stay still.

"There's manding droids, we gotta sneak off carefully. They don't look like bulk but they could be armed," He suggested. We were not yet at the rebel base, meaning these were probably droids of the land, and belonged to whoever oversees the exports on this planet.

When the panel opened, we were all careful to first peek out of the transport. This planet was nothing at all like Mandalore, which was dry and hot. This planet was lush with plants. And the air was slightly humid. It was a very welcome contrast from where I spent most of my life.

We all sneakily bolted out of the transport, ducking down behind one of the cargo units placed outside. We saw an opening in what looked like some sort of forrest patch.

There was a chill in the air on this planet, even in the middle of the day. Mandalore only ever got colder at night, when the sun was down and the moons were shining.

"That was close." Merc mumbled as we began to turn around and head into the grasslands, trying to find the rebel base.

We made sure no one was behind us, and were careful to check if any droids had caught sight of us.

We all went to turn around, but as soon as I did, I collided with someone's chest, rather hard might I add, sending me to the ground on my bottom. I didn't even collide that hard with the person, it was just the shock that sent me backwards.

"Need a hand?" I looked up to see a man, a sly smirk on his face as he held his hand out towards me. I took it without question, heaving myself up from the grassy, and somewhat muddy ground beneath me.

"You must be our contact," Merc smiled, and the man nodded, turning and begining to lead us to a speader that was hovering nearby behind a large set of trees.

"We must be careful not to use names outside of the base. I would be more than happy to formally introduce myself once we reach our final destination," He chuckled. It was only now that I realized he had an accent, a thick one. Probably left over from his native tongue that spilled out his mouth when he spoke galactic basic.

I know that sometimes my accent slips in when i speak. I never had to worry about using Mando'a around my fellow crewmates. They were foundlings, and hadn't been raised to speak it. Shyloh was, but he prefered to use galactic basic anyways because he had forgotten so much of it.

We all boarded the speader, Gander and I sitting on the back, our legs hanging off as we held onto the side bars.

"This might be a bumpy ride for you two," The man said, looking at both of us before giving me a wink. I scrunched my face up, not sure how else to react to it. The man was definitely on the younger side, but I wasn't sure how he could possibly see an interest in me.

Maybe he did and I just didn't want him to. Maybe I was still hinged to the idea that I would go back to Mandalore someday and marry my betrothed. I was so young, and hadn't the slightest idea of what feelings I could possibly be harboring, if any at all.

I couldn't deny I found him appealing. Anyone would, at least any human with eyes that is.

His hair was dark, and so were his eyes. He had a bit of stubble along his jaw and above his lip. He was somewhat scruffy looking, but in a good way.

As the speeder went through the forresty stretch of pathway, I kept turning around to catch a glimpse of him. Each time I did I had to look away fast because Gander would give me weird stares.

I would play it off like I was simply taking in the view of the green planet around me, and he wouldn't seem to notice.

After a while, with quite a few twists and turns, and Gander and I nearly falling off the speeder twice, we arrived to our destination.

We all hopped out of the transport, following the man into a giant cargo port. As soon as I looked to my left I could see an X-wing fighter in all it's glory. I had never seen a real one before, just heard stories and viewed holograms.

"Alright. We have about twelve other recruits arriving on this base today, so you will all be attending orientation this evening. As for right now, you look beat, and should rest. PX-74 will assign you to your bunks," He said, gesturing to the droid before beginning to walk away with a nod, but I stopped him before he could take a step.

"Wait a minute... I believe I recall something about a formal introduction," I crossed my arms over my chest and shifted my weight, trying to give off the look of having as much confidence as I could muster. I was putting on a facade, possibly to make me seem more mature. I didn't know the real reason.

He smirked, raising an eyebrow as he scanned me up and down with his dark eyes.

"Cassian Andor," He smiled, then looking right back at me with questioning eyes. "And how about you... you got a name?"

"Y/n from clan Maldrix," I said, my confidence wavering a little when he looked at me the way that he did.

"She's a Mandalorian," Shyloh perked up, and I sent him a warning glare.

"Yeah, sixth generation," Merc added, his cocky smile pasted on his face for all to see and be annoyed by.

"A mandalorian? I've heard the stories but I haven't ever met one. Are you-?"

"I'm not," I cut him off before this got twisted into one big lie. "My mother and father are."

"Doesn't that make you one too?" Cassian furrowed his brow but his tone was somewhat joking and humorous.

"No, it does not," I wasn't harsh with the way my voice came out, but I was firm. Though I wasn't one of them, the mandalorians and all they stood for were very important to me.

"Mandalorian is not a race, it's a creed. Some of the best Mandalorians I ever had the pleasure of knowing didn't even have a bloodline from Mandalore. They were foundlings, like these three," I explained, laying out the facts so that there was no longer any confusion lingering, but now there was a tension that was thicker than the trees on this planet.

"Even still, she can fight just as good as any soldier taken the creed," Merc jumped in, trying to clear the air, and thankfully, it seemed to be working.

"She flies even better," Shyloh mentioned, and I swore I could kill him. He was just so pushy sometimes, even with his massive sense of wisdom.

"You fly?" This peaked Andor's interest, and immediately he seemed more engaged towards me.

"I'm not as good as they say I am," I admitted, but he shook his head.

"No, really... if you can fly we could really use you. We're putting together a team for an air raid that's set to happen about one month's time from now," He came up closer to me and stared me in the eye.

"I'm just a kid, I might really let you down," I joked, trying not to get too caught up in his eye contact. His eyes were much darker when you could see them closely.

"I tell you what, I can arrange for you to have time in the flight simulator after orientation. If we feel you would be an asset, we can add you to the strike team," He said, nodding along to his words. I understood that they might need backup, and if push came to shove, I could maneuver faster than any pilot back on Mandalore. I never lost a race, nor did I ever lose a bet.

"Okay."

I could tell I was blushing from the extra attention I was receiving. I wasn't so sure what about me was so enticing that I deserved it.

"I have to go now to pick up the other recruits from a drop station. I leave you in the capable hands of PX-74," He said, returning to his speeder and letting us be lead off into the base.

"There are only so many open bunks left. Two of you will share one, and the other two will be placed with bunk mates." The metalized voice of the PX unit was strong in our ears, and we all followed after him as we ventured into the long hallway at the end of the cargo port.

The droid stopped at a door about midway through the hall and opened it using the side panel on the wall, revealing a young man that seemed almost younger than me even.

"One of you will be staying here. Which will it be?" The droid asked, turning towards our small group.

"I'll take this one," Shyloh said, stepping forward into the bunk to meet his new roomate.

The boy looked a bit frightened at first, but because of Shyloh's powerful yet calming energy, he seemed to relax almost immediately.

He turned and smiled back at us, waving before the IG unit closed the door and kept us going.

He walked us down passed several more doors, maybe more than twenty, before he stopped at another one and opened it up.

Inside sat a young woman, her legs crossed as she sharpened a knife with a smirk on her face. She looked up and made eye contact with me first.

"I wondered how long it would be before they got someone else in here." Her voice was somewhat low and raspy, but it was kind of soothing in a way.

"One of you-" the IG unit began again, but I stopped him, stepping into the bunk with the girl inside.

"I'll take this one." I smiled at the two boys left before the door closed on my new bunk.

I moved to set my knapsack down on the bottom bunk, but my roomate stopped me.

"Bottom one's mine." She said, looking up from her sharpened knife again to inform me of the sleeping arrangements.

I instead threw my knapsack on the top bunk, trying to climb up into it, but failing miserably.

"You need a hand?" She chuckled, watching my lame attempts to swing my leg up high enough. The fact that there was no ladder should have tipped me off.

"I'll be okay, thanks," I laughed, keeping my attitude loose and positive, though this bunk bed was already causing unnecessary problems for me.

"If you say so," She chuckled again, seeing as I finally managed to haul myself up and onto the bed.

"First try," I joked, and she laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. I think that we would be getting along, because no one ever laughed at my lame sense of humor.

I laid back, resting my arms behind my head and staring blankly at the ceiling.

"So, where are you from?" She piped up, not taking her eyes away from her previous knife. That thing must mean a lot to her.

"Mandalore," I let out, trying to get comfortable on this lumpy pad that was under my head.

"Actually?" She seemed surprised. Everyone had heard of the planet that the mandalorian tribes had resided upon, and usually they understood what kind of people the place would breed.

"Yeah. Left just in time. Tomorrow's my birthday," I shut my eyes continuing our converastion with one less sense. It didn't matter, though. I was still fully awake.

"What would you have had to do?" She pondered curiously, finally looking up towards the bunk in interest.

"Well, to put it short... tomorrow I would have had to swear my freedom away. No living being would ever be able to see my face again till the day I died," I laid it out plain and simple, and she seemed to understand.

"How old are you?" She asked, her trail of questions getting longer and longer.

"Sixteen tomorrow," I answered, feeling a bit more tired now that my eyes had been closed, and the lights in the bunk rooms were dim.

"You're just a baby," She scoffed. "How could they possibly expect you to make that choice so young?"

"It's just the way it's always been there. This is the way," I remembered. Those words used to be said to me nearly ten times a day, and now they only rung in my mind as a memory.

"That's insane. The people on your planet must be crazy to take an oath like that," She muttered.

"You would think so... the strangest part about it is that there are kids brought back as foundlings that take the creed without hesitation. They don't even belong to a bloodline, they just feel as though they have right to the creed as much as anyone else," I silently remembered Din for a moment. He was the bravest, strongest, most loyal Mandalorian I'd ever known. A foundling.

I began to get bitter at the thought of leaving him. He could have made things better for me if I had just given him a chance. I had to let my head get in the way. I needed to think about something else.

"What about you, huh? Where you from?" I asked, changing the subject as quickly and painlessly as possible.

"Alderaan. Born and raised," She said, getting up from the floor and dropping herself on the bottom bunk.

"You been a lot of places since then?" I asked, but she first let out a heavy sigh before speaking.

"Only too many to count," She said, settling herself on the bunk like I had done.

"Must be nice..." I muttered. Finally able to relax on this pathetic excuse for a bed pad. Of course I couldn't complain. I'm the one who chose the life of the rebellion, including their miserable bedding. "I've never been anywhere outside my home planet until now. I haven't even seen the entirety of my own planet."

"Most new comers are the same. They haven't been anywhere else, then they come here and its like we're moving non stop. Base to base, on just about every planet in this galaxy," She reassured. At least now I didn't feel so out of place.

"How long have you been stationed here?" I asked, unsure of how long I would get to adjust to things.

"A few months. It's likely we'll have to leave soon. There's rumors of the imperials knowing our location," She answered, rolling her eyes, thought I couldn't see from the top bunk.

"You're kidding," I scoffed. After just getting here, I might have to up and leave again. I'll have to learn to accept this new life, it's what I wanted.

"I wish I was, kid," She added.

"I have a name," I retorted back, not a fan of the nickname 'kid'. I waited for her to ask me what it was, but when she stayed silent I sighed. "It's Y/n."

"I'll call you what you are... now get some rest, they'll come pounding on that door in a few hours for orientation," She said, as though she somehow had grown to a habit of mothering me only five minutes after we met. I dropped the conversation and drifted off to sleep, my eyes were too heavy to keep open anymore anyway.

.

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Tags open

A/n: okay so like i wrote this a while before everything with gina carano happened and i do not in any way condone her whatsoever so let's pretend she's been recast already...

[wiseabsol]

Do you have an ultimate OTP or rankings of OTPs across fandoms? If so, why? I found some of your OTP essays and thought they were quite thoughtful!

I'm glad that you enjoyed those essays, even though they're old as dust now XD

I don't really have any ultimate OTP or rankings of OTPs across fandoms, since my interest in ships tends to be cyclical. When I get in the mood for one, I'll consume fanwork of it for a few weeks, then move on to another and another, until eventually that mood hits me again. Off the top of my head, though, here are a few I revisit on an regular basis:

Shinji Ikari / Rei Ayanami (Neon Genesis Evangelion): I had a weird introduction to Neon Genesis Evangelion in that I started with the manga version by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. I knew nothing about how popular the show was at the time--in fact, because I had such a hard time getting the manga volumes, I assumed it didn't have much a fanbase. It turned out it did, of course, but the manga is considered an inferior, watered down version of the story. I don't agree with that assessment--I think all of the main versions of Eva have something valuable in them, and excluding any of them misses out on something worthwhile--but I do love the manga version the most. Shinji is more thoughtful and proactive in this version of the story, while Rei is much more fleshed out as a character. Their friendship and quasi-romance is touching, especially in how it encourages them both to grow as people. Plus, it leads to a fascinating, if very controversial take, on Kaworu's character.

Harry Potter / Hermione Granger (Harry Potter): I shipped them from the very beginning and still get hit in the feels with the concept of them on occasion. Admittedly, the last time I read the books, I thought that Hermione really should have wound up with Krum, because he at least fully appreciates her, while the boys struggle to do the same. Still, it's hard for me to not want these best friends and amateur detectives to be together, especially when their canon ships were poorly developed (Ron is too mean to Hermione for my comfort, and Ginny, while she had a ton of potential, was very underutilized by She Who Must Not Be Named).

Roy Mustang / Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist): Who read or watched Fullmetal Alchemist and didn't ship them? The mutual loyalty is just so good. Also he learned her father's secret flame alchemy from her naked back. Come on!

Madoka Kaname / Homura Akemi (Puella Magi Madoka Magica): Homura went through an endless maze of timeline resetting for Madoka. If that's not an act of devotion, I don't know what is. Madoka's feelings for Homura are less blatant, but I think she definitely has a crush on her "cool" classmate, and learning how much Homura has given for her probably cemented that. I really hope they get a happy ending in the movies (which we didn't need, but I'll still watch the next one).

Ash Ketchum / Misty Waterflower (Pokemon): Baby's first ship, or at least the first one where I was involved in the fandom. I still enjoy it, though I haven't engaged with content for it for years now. Still, if Ash is going to end up with anyone, I hope it's Misty. (I doubt it will be--this boy is staying 10 forever, folks!)

Ichigo Kurosaki / Rukia Kuchiki (Bleach): Baby's first smutty ship. The Bleach fandom was so horny back in the day. I also liked how the friendship between Ichigo and Rukia encouraged them both to grow, and how their involvement with each other changed their lives for the better. I'm also pretty sure the author shipbaited the fandom HARD with these two: the poems, the art spreads, that one super shippy movie! It being a shounen story, I didn't actually think they would get together...and then, when the ending happened and they married other people, I was flabbergasted. I still don't understand it.

Zuko / Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender): So this is tricky, because the trauma of colonialism is very tied into this ship, since Zuko is from the people and culture who committed genocide against Katara's. So intellectually, a part of me doesn't like this. Emotionally, on the other hand, I do enjoy it because of the parallels between their stories, and because out of the members of the Gaang, Katara is most able to be herself around Zuko, rather than a nurturer. Mai also felt underdeveloped to me, and I wondered if she'd be happier away from the machinations of court (maybe with June?!).

Mewtwo / Sabrina (Pokemon): Listen, they're a crack ship, but they're my beautiful crackship. They have a weird amount in common, to the point where I wonder if Sabrina's episodes were a test run for Mewtwo's movie. Also, I adore Beauty and the Beast stories, and this ship would fill that trope nicely. I'm also one of maybe five people that have written this ship (if only I'd done it during my heyday! Then I could have converted so many more readers! Alas, I missed my shot).

Others I'm fond of include:

Naruto Uzamaki / Hinata Hyuuga (Naruto)

Korra / Asami (The Legend of Korra)

Artemis Fowl / Holly Short (Artemis Fowl)

Gideon Nav / Harrowhark Nonagesimus (The Locked Tomb)

Emma Swan / Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time)

Arthur/Morgana (Merlin)

Utena Tenjou / Anthy Himemiya (Revolutionary Girl Utena)

Ahiru/Fakir and Rue/Mytho (Princess Tutu): Has the distinction of being written so well that I abandoned by original ship for the show (Ahiru/Mytho), which is something I never do.

[thedemisedroyal]

Dangerous Betrayal | TVD/TO

The Vampire Diaries & The Originals

AU Story

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓

𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝙾𝙽 𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙵𝙸𝚅𝙴!

• E S M E •

"Please, just make it stop!" The princess yelled in agony as she held her head. All the memories rushing through her mind, all the pain, all the hurt, everything bad she had done in her life ran through her head. But it was intensified by a trillion, this was on purpose, they wanted her in be pain.

Adara and Eila laughed manically, "Oh poor little baby, is something wrong?" Adara baby talked, chuckling in between. The princess yelled out, closing her eyes, trying to fight it, but she can't, she couldn't. The girl was consumed with guilt, making her walls around her mind tremble, they were weak, ready to fall down at the slightest of touch.

She had been tortured for years and years, after her mother banished her from the Void, they had sent her to Heaven. Her parents left her there as they hadn't finished their final punishment for their youngest daughter and child for her crimes. Until then, she would be tortured, just for laughs, just for entertainment.

"You know, for the Goddess of All Creation, you are weaker then I thought you would b-"

"Esme!" The Gilbert broke out of her thoughts, she fell into her head and she looked at the mirror in a weird angle, making her eyes shine like a golden-yellow. Making her the olden days, the years that started all of this. "Esme come on, we're gonna be late!" Elena shouted once more, the two, had school, as always, and were back into cheerleading, the younger twin seemed more willing to go then the oldest. But it made sense, things were different now.

Esme grabbed her bag and water,"Coming!" The middle child yelled, running out of her room and downstairs. "Let's get this show on the road." Esme mumbled under her breath, seeing her sister, not in her cheerleading costume.

• A U T H O R •

As time went on, Elena and Stefan had gotten much closer, dating now, which led to Esme of course threatening him if he didn't anything back to her sister. But all in all, Esme liked Stefan, trying to get close to figure out what he wanted in the end.

But days went by and she had met Damon as well, sensing he was also a vampire. But Jordan also noticed Damon looked at her with some sort of admiration, or maybe some sort of love. She had no idea was this was about, but she would definitely find out soon. As it was all too weird, now that her best friend, Caroline Forbes, was dating this Damon, who was eyeing her.

Right away she didn't exactly like him, he was a cocky and arrogant man who liked to stir up trouble. For instance, when Elena had a little dinner party with Bonnie and Stefan, Caroline and Damon had arrive unannounced, soon the blonde pulled the younger twin downstairs to join the fun. Which was a very awkward introduction between the raven haired and brunette.

It was even more awkward when the oldest Salvatore brother talked about their past live affair. Who was named Katherine, Elena had informed her sister on the love triangle, whilst the two watched and dried dishes when everyone else was in the living room. Then he walked in, and then Elena left the two alone, awkwardly.

During the time, Damon and Esme got to talk a bit, trying to get to know each other, but the girl felt very uncomfortable as Damon had this weird look in his eyes, a softness, with a genuine smile on his face which was rare for him in his case. Luckily, Bonnie had came in to ask if she needed more help, as Esme was taking quite a bit of time in the kitchen.

But that was awhile ago, and now it is the day of the football game. And the girl needed to be on her game for the cheerleaders and her best friends. Though it didn't help with the Tyler and Jeremy fight, and Stefans cover nearly blown with the cut on his hand, with Elena as witness.

• E S M E •

"God guys, I'll be back, I left my jacket and water in the car." Esme rubbed her forehead, Caroline and Bonnie nodded, the Gilbert quickly ran out the field and into the parking lot. The game was to start soon, and if she wasn't present soon the Forbes girl would have her ass. Esme quickly opened up the trunk, grabbing her maroon colored jacket and her big water bottle, that's as surprisingly still cool after being left in the car.

She swiftly turned around, gasping as she was face to face with Damon Salvatore. "You scared me. W-What are you doing here?" The Gilbert questioned, Damon looked over his shoulder quickly, then putting his hand to the side of his mouth,"I'm hiding from Caroline." He whispered. Esme quirked a brow,"And why is that?" She playfully whispered as well.

"I needed a break. She talks more then I can listen." Damon widened his eyes for a second. "That could be a sign." Esme nodded her head, kind of uncomfortable. "Well, she's awfully young".

Esme narrowed her eyes at the Salvatore,"Not much younger than you are." She responded back, Damon chuckled a bit. "I don't see it going anywhere in the bigger picture. I think she's drive me crazy." Damon spoke, Esme rose her brows and tilted her head a bit. "Caroline does have some really annoying traits, but we've been best friend since the first grade and that means something to me." The Gilbert defensively spoke, sternness in her manner.

The girl watched as something switched in the raven haired man,"Duly noted. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable. That's not my intention." Damon talked in the soothing voice, as if he was trying to persuade her. But the girl didn't fall for it, Damon was already on her bad side,"Yes, it is. Otherwise you wouldn't put an alternate meaning behind everything you say."

Damon smiled, shaking his head,"You're right. I do have other intentions, but so do you." Esme folded her arms across chest,"Really?" She questioned, wanting to see where he was going with this. Damon hummed as a response,"I seem 'em. You want me." Esme scoffed, feeling offended,"Excuse me?"

"I get to you. You find yourself drawn to me. You think about me when you don't want to think about me. I bet you even dreamed about me." Damon looked straight into Esme's eyes, the girl immediately knew what he was trying to do. "Compulsion." The voice in the back of her head reappeared for her once again. The girl was confused, what was this little voice, and most importantly, what the hell was Damon trying to play at here.

She snapped back into reality when she heard his voice once again speak,"And right now.. You want to kiss me." Esme had this emotionless look on her face, though it was pure anger, Damon smiled as he succeeded or he thought. He slowly leaned in with a smirk, Esme looked at his lip, before her face was painted with a scowl, and without thinking, Esme raised her hand and slapped him hard.

"What the hell?" Esme scoffed, glaring at him,"I don't know what game your trying to play here. Maybe trying to mess with Stefan, I don't know. But I don't want to be a part of it. And I don't know what happened in the past, but let's get one thing straight." Damon was in complete shock, Esme locked eyes with the man, who was holding his cheek,"I am not a pawn." Esme glared once more before tightly holding her water and jacket and walking away.

She didn't even realize what she had just done, she had blown her own cover...

• S T E F A N •

The blonde haired vampire watched as Matt walked away, feeling slightly more happy and comfortable with the complicated situation between him, Elena and Matt, but it was short-lived as he heard someone clapping behind him. He swiftly turned around, to see his older brother leaning against the brick wall.

"Isn't that nice? Stefan joins the team, makes a friend." Damon announced, pure sarcasm out of his tone of voice. "It's all so,'Rah, Rah, Go Team, Yeah'!" Damon raised his arm in a fist bump, clearly mocking his brother. Stefan shook his head, turning his body to leave,"Not tonight. I'm done with you." As he turned he was met face to face with Damon, who used his vampire-speed. Damon tilted his head, "Nice trick with Esme. Let me guess— vervain in her bracket? Necklace or ring maybe?"

Stefan was confused, he never gave the girl any vervain, only Elena. But he made sure to not show any unsureness, as he didn't even know why he couldn't compel her. "I admit, I was a bit surprised. It been a while since anyone could resist my compulsion." Damon lifted his eyes, throwing a innuendo in there. Stefan kept a cold, and stern face, unfazed,"Where'd you get it?" The older brother asked, "Does it matter?" Stefan started to walk away, going around his brother.

"Guess I could just seduce her the old-fashioned way. Or I could just..eat her." Damon cockily spoke, knowing that caught his brothers attention. Stefan stopped, turning around, confidence in his body,"No, you're not gonna hurt her." He slowly walked towards him as Damon turned around to face him.

"No?" Damon arrogantly asked,"Because deep down inside there is a part of you that feels for her. I was worried that you had no humanity left inside of you; that you may have actually become the monster that you pretend to be." Stefan with confidence, knowing he wouldn't hurt her, not if she looks the way she is.

Damon squinted his eyes,"Who's pretending?" Stefan looking him in the eyes,"Then kill me." Damon smiled,"Well I'm— I'm tempted." He looked up, shaking his head as he looked as if he was deciding. "No, you're of. You've had lifetimes to do it, and yet, here I am. I'm still alive. And there you are. You're still haunting me. After one hundred and forty five years. Katherine is dead, and so is Natasha. And you hate me because you love her, and you torture me because you still do. And that, my brother, is your humanity." The two had a tense stare off, but it was quickly interrupted by the annoying douche, Mr. Tanner.

"Salvatore!" The blonde haired man turned around with a stern expression, the teacher walked towards him with open arms,"What the hell? We've got a game to play!" He yelled, frustrated, Damon looked at the teacher with an idea popping in her head. "If that's my humanity..the. What's this?" He gulped, flashing a quick and sarcastic smile towards Stefan.

Then using his vampire-speed to Mr. Tanner, his vampire fad slowly unraveling, his fangs then digging themself into Mr. Tanner's neck. He yelled in pain,"No!" Stefan yelled, seeing as his brother slowly drained the teacher for all he was worth. Then just like that, he was dead, Damon turned around, blood all over his mouth, dripping to his chin, his vampire face still out,"Anyone, any time, any place." Stefan blinked in shock, this was going to be a lot more tougher.

• E S M E •

Dread...that's what filled the Gilbert body as she was in the field with the rest of the cheerleader, practicing. Until that emotion she knew all to well filled her body, it nearly paralyzed her when she felt the sense of death. She could smell it in the air, feel it in her finger tips, taste it on her tongue.

She held her head as a pain rushed through her body, she walked away from the group, though no one noticed, luckily. Then aloud ringing filled her head, making her groan, she opened her eyes, but shut them immediately when the lights hit her. "Fuck!" Jordan clenched her eyes in pain, she then moved further away from her group, feeling a sudden breeze of wind hit her face and body. She opened her eyes as she heard no one, and felt no light on her.

"What in the?" Jordan looked around her new surrounding, seeing she wasn't even on school soil anymore. No, she was in the empty park of Mystic Falls, far away from the school. She then felt a rush of power surge through her veins, Jordan gasped as she lifted up her hands to see scarlet red flares dancing around her hand.

"What's happening to me?"

[mystxmomo]

Idk what is homestuck and at this point im too afraid to ask

Homestuck is a webcomic that grew to popularity around 2012-2013. The main reason for it's grow to popularity was.. well, a lot of things. Updates happened almost on a daily basis (sometimes even multiple times a day) due to its simplistic story telling style (one panel art pages, mixed with an only dialog driven narrative) as well as the inherent interactivity that the comic had with it's audience at the time. Homestuck actually started like a point and click would. All of the human characters in the comic were named from audience designated prompts, and even after the author stopped accepting prompts memes in the fanbase (tricksters, late with starbucks, ect) popped up on the comic quite frequently.

There's even two characters built into the comic to represent the two sides of the fandom, and it's honestly one of the most respectful portrayal an audience insert, not only from the era, but I'd argue in any media that I've seen. I don't think a lot of people realize it today, in fact even I wasn't growing up in the area that this was relevant, but fanworks weren't always respected by authors. never mind the fact that it was basically free advertising and a sign of love for the medium more often than not, a lot of series and authors either took genuine offense to fanworks (some, like anne rice, going so far as to dmca large quantities of works at a time) or mocked and ridiculed the very people that supported it in the first place (supernatural, being the biggest example off the top of my head)

So Andrew hussie, despite having a fandom far outside his control, that was sometimes very critical of him and his work, still showed a lot of respect to the fanbase that supported him.

(now, he wasn't the first to do this, granted. I would argue that JKR was the first big name author to be an outspoken advocate for liking fanfiction of her works. Sarah Z has a great series of videos on that, both from JK's rise as an author to her fall as a Terf)

That said, the main draw of Homestuck wasn't it's complex and sometimes even nonsensical plot, but it's heavy focus on character interaction and relationships (Kind of like danganronpa.). That WAS the comic. Andrew hussie, the comics creator, world built to hell, but the draw was the characters with extreme and somewhat nonsensical personalities, and the bullshit romance system built into the comic.

Final thought. Homestuck changed not only how a lot of people interacted with fandom, but fandom as a whole. I would argue that the rise and fall of ask blogs were somewhat due to Homestuck (as well as oncler, but we don't talk about that), new restrictions at conventions due to the fact baby cosplayers didn't know how to seal their paint, and was a lot of peoples introduction to fandom at the rope age of 13. It's influenced a lot of modern comics and stories (undertale being the biggest off the top of my head) and it's popularity, and the way people interacted with it was a once and a lifetime opportunity that I don't think any media will be able to replicate.

So yeah. That's what Homestuck is, I think.

[leighlim]

My pitch: It's 'This Is Us' smooshed with 'The Farewell'

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Hopefully by this point you’ve finished 'Gattaca', the kind of person who isn’t bothered by spoilers, or are just deciding if you still want to keep watching.

(Since I mentioned 'This Is Us' and 'The Farewell' --- it would definitely help if you have seen the latter and all aired seasons of the former as it would be likely that I'll be revealing all sorts of spoilers)

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Why those two titles? Well...I feel like 'This Is Us' is definetely a story about Randall (but I guess it's only until the final season airs...when we'll finally get an idea who the protagonist and antagonist is) and Kevin.

Randall feels like he has to be the perfect son...thinking that he has to compete for the attention of Jack and Rebecca. There's also that rivalry (until they sorted it out during mid-life) that was definitely there for Vincent and Anton.

I thought it's interesting that even with the rivalry with a genetically superior sibling (I'm talking about Anton as he had heaps of scientific help)..there's still the desire to be accepted and loved. I feel like the unnecessary comparison between Anton and Vincent by their father didn't make it easy for them to build their own brotherly bond.

What's the link to 'The Farewell'? It's basically at the end. The twist. Grandma outlived what science has predicted to be certain death. Which Vincent did. So in that...both films are united in showing the power of the human spirit. Maybe more of the power of personal belief?

PS: I was particularly impressed with the performances of Jayne Brook and Elias Koteas as the parents. Maybe they stand out more because the bulk of the cast are quite subdued (at one point Vincent comes across as a sociopath during his introduction sequence while at his desk --- but we know that's not true...because he's just holding back his emotions due to the environment he's in).

PPS: So...if you're a filmmaker deciding between practical or digital effects...

...this one proves that practical effects stand the test of time.

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HIGHLIGHT:

INT. HOSPITAL (BIRTHING SUITE) - DAY

EXTREME CLOSEUP: A rosary. Focus is on a Jesus figure nailed to the cross. The red beads dangle in the foreground.

VINCENT

(Narrating)

I'll never understand what possessed my mother to put her faith in God's hands.

MARIE owns the hand holding them. She had just delivered VINCENT, face covered in tears and sweat. Two DELIVERY NURSES assist. The HEAD NURSE looks on.

BABY VINCENT cries. MARIE looks on...all smiles. A proud mama.

One of the nurses carry BABY VINCENT to be swaddled. ANTONIO is on the other side of the glass. His initial glimpse of his firstborn.

VINCENT

(Narrating)

Ten fingers, 10 toes, that's all that used to matter.

The HEAD NURSE reaches for one foot and to prepare to take a blood sample.

VINCENT

(Narrating)

Not now.

The pinprick device goes in the sole of BABY VINCENT's left foot.

VINCENT

(Narrating)

Now, only seconds old, the exact time and cause of my death was already known.

A drop of blood goes in for analysis.

The machine beeps while BABY VINCENT continues crying. The DELIVERY NURSE finishes swadling him to be handed to mum.

ANTONIO has forgotten about the baby. Because this is where it counts. He looks on as the HEAD NURSE reads the results.

HEAD NURSE

Neurological condition, 60% probability. Manic depression, 42% probability. Attention devicit disorder, 89% probability.

MARIE cradles her son and admires the perfection before her. Soon enough she too is distracted by the statistics. Her eyes clouded with worry about the kind of life her son would likely face.

HEAD NURSE

Heart disorder...

She turns to ANTONIO...then back at the results

HEAD NURSE

...99% probability.

Dad is devastated.

HEAD NURSE

Early fatal potential.

Hope still lingers.

HEAD NURSE

Life expectancy: 30.2 years.

He tries to say something.

ANTONIO

(to himself)

Thirty years?

The father's eyes well up.

HEAD NURSE

The name for the certificate?

MARIE

Anton---

ANTONIO

No! Um, Vincent Anton.

He considers it and nods.

ANTONIO

Yeah. That's a good name.

BABY VINCENT cries.

The mother looks at her newborn affectionately. Her faith slowly creeping back.

MARIE

I know he'll do something.

She smiles.

MARIE

You'll do something.

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My verdict of the film: 7/10 (Maybe it's the pacing that holds me back from giving it that extra point to be a masterpiece? I mean...It is a thriller after all!)

Link to the timestamp commentary: Maybe? (If there is...I'll be from a rewatch)

A Formal Review of the film: None (You can request sure! But I feel like there is more than enough content about not just installment but the who trilogy in general)

My Thoughts about the writing of the film: None (Maybe they'll be references?)

More of my comments about the film: See my Medium piece (Link TBA)

Instagram Entries: TBA? (I'll have to review my feed to find out which ones have a links to the film)

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[gh0stbra1nz]

jiann x male reader

request: You're a K-Pop-centred Youtuber who occassionally does collaboration videos with idols. During the promotion period of Newkidd's latest release, Come, Jaewoo and you are set to do a video together during which you'll do one another's make-up.

note: hey bud. first of all, thanks for being my first request! i don't know newkidd super well and i don't know a thing about make-up but i did some research and tried my best lol. i hope it's alright!

word count: 2.6k

Room tidied, filming set-up prepared, lighting adjusted; [Y/N] had readied everything for the arrival of Newkidd's member Choi Jaewoo, also known as Jiann, and yet he was still fidgeting with the unbuttoned sleeve-edges of his baby blue shirt.

It was a typical video, that which he would be filming that day. He had done it a handful of times already, once his Youtube channel had really begun to grow in popularity and his offers to small entertainment companies for collaborations were accepted. [Y/N] had done this before, but nonetheless, the idea of meeting Jaewoo in person was something that brought upon him a strong sense of giddiness.

[Y/N] had been following Newkidd's activities as a rookie group for some months already and had quickly developed a low simmering crush on the very member he'd be filming with that day.

It was therefore on that high of utter excitement and nervousness that once Jaewoo himself had finally arrived, naturally glowing and somehow even more handsome than [Y/N] remembered, that the youtuber's behaviour morphed into one of a skittish hyper-activity, desperately trying to come off as calm whilst they introduced themselves.

Not much time was allowed to trickle by with their minimal conversation before [Y/N] had to get to work and the camera beeped to show it had begun filming.

Jaewoo gave his second small bow to [Y/N] prior to sitting, a broad yet somewhat awkward smile on his face. [Y/N] was determined, however, for this to not be a negative experience for the young idol.

Sloppily rolling up his sleeves, [Y/N] went to stand behind Jaewoo's chair, bare lips pulled into a happy smile and hands softly clapping down onto the other man's shoulders, mildly startling him.

"Hi!" [Y/N] cheerfully greeted his eventual audience, sight directed into the camera.

At his exclamation, Jaewoo curiously peered up at him, a baffled grin adorning his face.

"Oh, we're filming?"

His voice itself was melodic, [Y/N] came to realise, somehow a blend of soft and deep. That thought in itself though, also made him realise how much he was blindly infatuated by the man.

"Yeah," [Y/N] confirmed, cutting off his own wonderings, "We're going straight into it! Introduce yourself to the viewers."

Jaewoo nodded, quickly facing forward and flashing a winning smile.

"Hello, I'm Newkidd's Choi Jiann!"

"Mhm, and you guys know I'm [Y/N], your local mess of a fanboy!" He took the opportunity to lightly squeeze Jaewoo's shoulders, prior to letting his hands drag as he moved to instead stand abreast the idol, "You know what we'll be doing today, right Jiann?"

The black-head's lips momentarily pursed, his expression playfully twisting into one of pondering.

"Something related to make-up?"

[Y/N] chuckled, tilting his head in agreement.

"Well my desk is, in fact, currently covered by palettes and brushes, so that was a calculated guess," He allowed himself a quick glance down at the man, finding him to be already gazing up with a keen smile. [Y/N]'s heart skipped a beat.

"Today will be really fun, and quite possibly a disaster, because after I do your make-up you'll be doing mine!" He paused, squatting slightly so that he and Jaewoo were at the same height, eyes locking at what [Y/N] decided to call a safe-risky distance. "Have you ever done make-up before?"

Jaewoo belatedly shook his head, a light laugh bubbling past his lips.

"Never, I'm afraid."

[Y/N] offered an almost timid smirk.

"Honoured to be your first," He cheekily replied, tossing in a wink for good measure, prior to straightening himself and already reaching for some wipes.

The idol seemingly had no qualms about the joke, merely chuckling as the tips of his ears very faintly dusted pink.

"Alright, so, let's get started and in the meantime you can tell us about yourself or whatever else you like."

[Y/N] got to work with wiping the other's minimal make-up off, being careful to be gentle but to also let his touch linger across the expanse of his cheeks and wide chin. Jaewoo spoke rather stiffly at first, giving a status-quo introduction of himself as a member of Newkidd whilst continuously peeking at the youtuber, wanting to take a glance at the look of concentration that had settled upon the younger's face.

"Your skin is gorgeous," [Y/N] stated once Jaewoo had briefly paused, and the compliment brought on a stronger blush than the previous one, now possibly a shade of pink on his ears that could be evidently seen on video.

"Thank you," He gingerly murmured, and [Y/N] couldn't help but admire the way Jaewoo looked up at him with a bashful smile.

"I'm thinking － since you have black hair － we should go for a sultry type of look," [Y/N] eventually states, pulling away and setting down his wipes, "Smokey eyes, red-tinted lips, that kind of stuff. What do you think?"

Jaewoo simply nodded, more than willing to go along with [Y/N]'s plan as the other must have certainly known what he was doing, considering the following he'd been informed the youtuber had. Then again, perhaps it was also due to the fact that [Y/N] looked really cute with his blue shirt and ruffled [h/c] hair and Jaewoo would most likely agree to anything should it leave the younger's mouth.

"Perfect. So I'll apply some toner, which helps with any dry patches you might have," [Y/N] squeezed some into his palm, "This is more out of habit though, seeing as how your skin is literally as beautiful as the rest of you."

Jaewoo didn't get the chance to reply before delicate hands were patting and rubbing along the curves of his face, making his breath catch in his throat and his dark eyes lock with those already staring back at him. [Y/N] offered a warm smile.

"Next, I'll put on just a bit of lotion and we can get to work on your look."

Jaewoo thickly swallowed, head tilted up at a better angle for the artist to work. "Okay," He said, to show he was listening.

"Right, so you guys had a comeback a couple weeks ago, didn't you?" [Y/N] asked, instigating a conversation for while he did what he needed to. Jaewoo quickly caught on, humming.

"Yeah, on the 28th," He replied, then briefly looking to the camera, "It's called Come. Please support it a lot."

[Y/N] nodded, "You really should check it out, the song's a banger and they all looked super great in the video."

Jaewoo dipped his head that was liberated from [Y/N]'s hands as he wiped them clean. "Thank you," he spoke and proceeded to watch as said male fiddled around with his boxes, intrigued.

"Apart from your own," [Y/N] had turned to show he held a square box of sorts in one hand and a brush in the other, "have there been other comebacks you liked? Ah, and this is just some foundation I'll be applying now."

"Oh, there are lots of talented senior artists with really good music this month, like Got7's You Calling My Name and EXO's Obsession," Jaewoo answered, attempting to ease his pulse that repeatedly quickened whenever [Y/N] dipped in particularly close.

It was strange, because Jaewoo had had his make-up done countless of times and his body had never reacted such a way. Perhaps this was different because [Y/N] was a guy, who just so happened to be very attractive.

[Y/N] let out a sound of agreement, startling Jaewoo from his thoughts about him.

"Yeah, those were awesome," He brought the brush along Jaewoo's left cheek, gently dragging it straight down then to blend in the powder, "Even Jessi and Victon delivered this month." He lifted his gaze to that of the idol's that was intent on him, and he quirked a playful brow when he saw Jaewoo to be dazed enough to answer in delay.

"Definitely."

Giving the final strokes, [Y/N] leaned away again and changed the box with another, clicking it open and analysing the colour for an instant before swapping it for a different one.

"Now I'll be applying some light blush mixed with highlighter, just to give some colour to your face."

After having said so, [Y/N] proceeded to mix the two, tapping his brush to bring the excess to fall into the lid. Of the hand that held the box, he freed his index finger to gently nudge Jaewoo's head upwards by his chin, their faces once more closer than necessary and causing a spark to continuously flow in the air between them.

"We'll put some on your cheeks, nose and chin so as to better define your facial structure," [Y/N] murmured in explanation, pulling his eyes away to focus on the way the soft bristles of his brush swept over Jaewoo's smooth skin.

"So, Jiann, what do you like to do in your free time?"

The question seemingly caught the idol off-guard for he rapidly blinked himself awake from his unfocused state, sight momentarily dropping to [Y/N]'s hands that had since closed the box and begun grazing over his desk, clearly in search of a specific palette.

"I play the piano sometimes and listen to music, but other than that I spend a lot of time with my members."

[Y/N] hummed, eyes directed upon the box he'd picked up, studying the colours.

"I didn't know you played," He said, and Jaewoo was oddly happy to see that the youtuber had finally looked to him again, "I'd love to hear you one day."

Jaewoo instantly smiled, quickly nodding, "I'll make it that you do."

The eager response made [Y/N] chuckle, a fond upturn to his own lips as he adjusted his grip on the fine brush he held.

"You can't go back on your word now, it's on camera!"

"I promise, [Y/N], I'll play for you."

A pregnant pause ensued, Jaewoo's flush returning at full strength after he processed what he'd said, and [Y/N]'s heart beat wildly against his ribs.

"I'll look forward to it then," He swiped his tongue over his bottom lip, briefly biting on it before smiling.

"Okay, now I'll begin doing your eyes. We're going for a dark look: black eyeshadow blended into deep purple at the end, with a fine liner along your top lids and at the edges of your bottom ones."

Jaewoo nodded, raising his head without needing to be told to, and [Y/N] mumbled a quick "Thanks," before leaning in and beginning his work.

They stayed silent for a while, but Jaewoo didn't mind. He took the chance to watch the male from up close when he could and obediently shut his eyes when he had to. There was something careful and precise about the way [Y/N] did his make-up that was different from how the staff his group had usually did.

"Alright, open," [Y/N] ordered, "I need to work on the bottom."

Doing as told, Jaewoo allowed his lids to part and flutter open, [Y/N]'s [e/c] eyes glimmering with focus as they bore into the idol's own. He sharply inhaled.

The remaining minute seemed to be a time of stand-still, both passing too quickly and too slowly, their close proximity bringing the two males to shyness.

"We're almost done," [Y/N] quietly stated, in a way akin to a warning, "I'll put some red balm on the inner parts of your lips and blend it out with gloss."

Jaewoo mutedly nodded, heart still thrumming in his ears even after [Y/N] had momentarily distanced himself.

He blinked and the warm hold of [Y/N]'s index and thumb was back on his chin, holding his head and forcing their gazes to meet.

"Part your lips a bit."

And Jaewoo did, watched as the other carefully applied the colour to his mouth and held his breath until it was over.

"All done!" [Y/N] eventually announced, beaming, "I didn't think you could look any hotter and yet, here you are."

Jaewoo dipped his head, attempting to ward off his flattered smile and flustered blush.

"Here's a mirror," [Y/N] said, handing him a circular one prior to stepping aside, allowing him to properly look at the artist's work, "Thoughts?"

The idol spent a few seconds taking in his new appearance, a look he hadn't really tried out yet, and found that the heavier make-up suited him more than he'd initially expected.

"It looks great, thank you," He told [Y/N], looking up at him with a fondness in his eyes that made the younger's chest warm.

"Well, I didn't have to do much, you're naturally good-looking," [Y/N] set a hand upon the man's shoulder, a gleeful smile stretching across his face, "Now that you like your look though, you have to promise to make mine just as good!"

Jaewoo chuckled, playfully shrugging as his left hand went to rub at the nape of his neck.

"No promises, but I'll do my best."

With the timid affirmation, [Y/N] went ahead and fetched a wide headband to push back his [h/c] hair and make it easier for the idol － temporarily-turned-rookie-make-up-artist － to do his work.

Swapping seats, [Y/N] allowed himself to sink into the padded chair and peered up at Jaewoo, smiling. Jaewoo couldn't help but think that he looked adorable with his mussed up hair and supple cheeks.

"You don't have to do the skincare part," [Y/N] stated, vaguely gesticulating towards where he'd left the toner and lotion, on a corner of his desk, "Do you have an idea for a look in mind?"

Jaewoo paused, contemplated, because no, he hadn't thought of anything because he was too distracted by [Y/N]. He looked at the younger's pale shirt and grey jeans, and an idea came to mind.

"Maybe peach or pink colours?"

He was afraid the suggestion was a stupid one, he wasn't experienced after all, but [Y/N] bobbed his head in agreement, lips still smiling.

"Sounds good!" He leaned forward, found palettes of colours that fit the spectrum Jaewoo wanted, and set them in front of the idol, "Here's everything you'll need. Do your best, Jiann!"

The idol quickly got to work, spending more time than most simply to choose the shades he wanted and even more so being perplexed about which brushes were best to use.

At his confused pout accompanied by a frown, [Y/N] chuckled, finally lifting a hand to point at one of the finer brushes.

"This will be the easiest to use."

Jaewoo gave a grateful nod, too shy to speak as he came to realise that he must have appeared to be a fish out of water.

"You don't have too worry too much," [Y/N] said, attempting to put the man at ease, "I trust you'll do just fine."

With nervous hands and a speeding pulse, Jaewoo immersed himself into his work, making sure to do as well as he could and even mimic what he could recall [Y/N] having done on him. The youtuber found it endearing how seriously the idol was taking such a playful task and didn't want to disturb him in any way, only scarcely speaking up.

By the end of it, Jaewoo had given [Y/N]'s eyes a peach-coloured tone, his lips a light pink gloss, and his cheeks a dust of rose; he even went as far as carefully adding glitter along the high curves of [Y/N]'s cheekbones.

He took a step back and smiled, meeting the younger's eyes with somewhat pride and admiration.

"It's not as great as your work, but you still look really handsome, [Y/N]."

》》》

i had no fucking idea how to end it and i was afraid it would get too long so i trimmed the end down a bit. i'm sorry if it wasn't all that great, i'll do my best to improve.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I hear two Atlanta Police Officers with missing vehicles called the Mayor and apologized to her for thinking of only themselves, admitted they were afraid that if they were in the same situation they would been fired as the other two in the Rayshard Brooks case and they couldn't allow that to happen to,themselves and the community so they wanted to show what would happen if it did because like me they all saw it as a justified homocide, a honorable weapon's discharge.

But after reading what i wrote last night. They fully regrret their decision and would like to have a meeting with her today, the entire 25 that stayed home for 3 days and they will all drive up to see her, in their personal cars of course.

Of course they got her mussing her mascara and all. Weeping she is. Don't mean she's weak. Just means she knows love. And she knows how evil attacks it and makes love so painful.

... ...

I mean I'm real surprised at Atlanta. I never had any problems with them they was always "The Next New Orleans" i called them.

Always just witchy with it. Good and a skip ahead.

So besides my anger at the situation created...

Look. I come straight outta the 90s.

Back then... Man. Our history been lost in 30 years. Our soul soul soul filled history. Its gone. It ain't there.

Back in the 90s we had about a 15 year break. From the protests from Vietnam War. Love not War Protests. We had them nice little 1950s with "Hello Technology: introduction to the TV" ONWARD to the "60s Hippies. Make love not War" taking it right onto the 70s which came back with the Civil Rights

So our 90s. Y'all they were the most beautiful. They were the combo of the 60s and 70s.

The riots and protests being taught to me and we made it big as we could with all the best parts of being a Human Rights Activist with brand new only 1990s fluorescent neon dripped could bring in.

That was all lost. Its all gone.

But the fight. The rights. THE TRUTH we went all 1950s and stayed in and raised our kids right. People wanna say shit about the Millennials. But we spoke truth. We spoke from our heart and we let them find,the truth as safe as possible and form their own opinions based on truth alone.

So now people wanna beat our kids. People i went to high school with they got high school graduates. Mine will be 17 this August. Real honest to God birthday and age.

Those are my babies. Our babies. They are our future. In 50 years they're gonna be like old man Bernie Sanders. 70 years old bent over fighting because we're gonna be near dead at 90 and more.

And people neglect and beat and ...

Man Our kids got it bad enough already. Simply because THEY KNOW THE TRUTH.

And man we got to protect them. Protect their hearts. Their minds. Their souls.

And they getting allllllll this stress. Put on them. Stress that is simply avoided.

By one dancing in the streets.

By 15 officers stating their badge numbers.

By the police owning up to who they are and why they exist.

Don't they want peace? Used to be they were called Peace Keeping Officers.

Now they called Lice Officers. Coming in on Native American Reservations claiming unwashed hair bread bugs. Let me tell you something. My daughter and I got lice a while back.. Like 8 years. The only thing that killed them was coating our hair in oil

Lice breath through holes in their exobody. So the oil makes them suffocate to death and die. Furthermore people whom smoke reject lice more frequently than those that don't. It takes me 3 months longer to get lice than a non smoker.

Peace pipe anyone?

.

So historically police aren't loved. They aren't wanted.

Being a police or military. It becomes a color of our skin. I'll post a tattoo that isn't finished being colored or lined. It's not done. I'll show you we can balance it.

Get out of your comfort zone. Step out of your skin.

We can't stop being black. We can't stop being what drives us to be police.

But we can control it.

"BURN ALL THEIR FUCKING CARS" demanded the international head of the CIA.

"No ma'am. This is what we did" they didn't tell me No before. They just did it. Because they knew it was better. They knew it would cause all 25 of y'all to have to stand up and say "my car is missing. This is how i feel. I do/don't want it back"

Where yall can't pretend what y'all did didn't matter and just get up and go to work the next day. All sneak in and get back to business.

No. You got a fucking problem. You forcing others to take on your load, Zone 5.

Were not walking away and being all its fine what ever. You got a problem. We need to tackle it in a for real state.

Foooorrrrr Reeeaaaalllll state.

You got a problem in your mind? Those become tangible. They aren't floating thoughts. They are what makes us do what we do.

Make it concrete. Take away their cars.

I ain't saying the charges will be dropped. That's all a whole other issue. I don't work in the justice system. Court. Law. I tell you how to win in court. But i ain't about telling some DA how to shove it. I just sue them. When its courts. I fight their game. With paperwork and all that shit. So like i said that's not on me to say the charges will be dropped.

When it's a basketball game you use a ball and circle to drop the ball in.

Use proper tools

Atlanta PD could and should said "alright let's picket the DA. Lets go in uniform. Leave our weapons in the car. Unbutton our shirts. Put red paint on our foreheads to show where they're hurting us. Show them the DA now made us defense less and stripped"

Half hour. 10 minutes. 2 hours. Don't matter. As long as you make that statement.

NYPD did that.

Sure i can ask Tree, tree why ain't you posted that? Taught them?

But why didn't NYPD pull out thier hands and say NBC, FOX. Where's them videos of what we use to do and so we can stop and make this shit right in the streets?

Thata all i did. That's all im doing now. Yeah I'm,the most brilliant and all

But the last since November i been telling y'all "shake them tail feathers"

How is Gary Trump's brother going into human trafficking for 24 years to be found by me. Then murdered by his brother that took his name and lied about who he was? And his brother didn't care. He said "ill go by Gary. It don't matter. Hes worked hard under my name"

How is the ACTUAL Donald Trump not allowed to be in a Black Lives Matter movement? How come no one is shaking their tail feathers to a man killed by the government for greed and white power?

The faux Donald Trump that is our impeached President is a racist.

So why isn't his brother being named? Black Lives Matter.

One person says "Let's Shake Our Tail Feathers".

Dont matter if you believe me. Its the movement. Quite literally.

Its confusing and alive and can make us all sick. It is its own plague. "Shake ya tail feathers" it's a mental plague if you refuse truth.

Regardless how i named it. I still taught it and spoke it. And led y'all to dance it.

Bye bye stress. Bye bye human trafficking.

Bye bye inequality.

Instead it's crazy

It was already planned to be crazy. Burning down buildings calling them Liberty Torches.

Civil Rights . Civil Liberties . take No Justice/Fairness and make it a sight to behold.

Is it fair to me financially to burn down my own economicially profiting legally businesses to make a Park and Garden where you can get fresh and,free vegetables and fruit for life? HELL FUCKING NO.

I got to pay security and taxes and i don't get a single domestic dime in return.

Kids go play on my slides and swings and wear them out having too much dam fun. Then i gotta spend More Money to make sure i am making sure they even get a single second to know what fun is.

I spent my whole life working. Every dam day.

One day I went out and I was 18 years old and i heard laughter. And i didn't know what it was. What made people laugh? How could people even be happy? Or want to laugh?

I was 18 years old. Didn't under stand a human thing.

And it just kept going and going and going. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to do whatever it took. And I didn't know why. Because i got my car keys out and opened my car door the second time that day. This time to make it stop. I put my car key between my fingers. Next thing i knew, I was sitting back down. And starting the car. Obviously my mom knew I was crazy with worry. And lost my mind. Shoved my ass back in the car and said "no you're just gonna leave and leave those innocent people alone"

I was so angry and bitter. And now my life is even worse.

If I couldn't attack them people. No one else can attack innocent people in public.

I don't care how fucked up you are. YOU CAN'T ATTACK SOMEONE FOR THEIR FREEDOMS.

Laughter. Black Lives Matter. Blue lives MATTER. All lives MATTER.

Some ignorant fool was arguing with a store clerk saying how her Black Lives Matter sign offended him

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Why can't y'all see and accept that?

We can't we be one. One truth.

One life to live

I can't live as Cleopatra or anyone of my past lives. I can't even live the life I led in the 90s. I can't even walk

We have one life to live and this is it.

So do we kill each other? Or do we protect each other?

Why aren't we being One?

When you're alone you can think of only you. You realize how important you are. We all need alone time.

When im with you i can only think about how important you are.

There isn't enough room in my brain to say how important we both are at the same time unless we do and think and act the same way all day long. Even for twins and clones its impossible.

So in my brain and in yours. You can only think about how much ONE life matters at a time.

ONLY ONE LIFE IN THIS WORLD MATTERS. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!

We. Our. Us. You can't stop a great combination.

Power and love = unified. Unity. United.

Watch me, #BLM #BLM ONE OF THOSE IS BLACK. ONE OF THOSE IS BLUE. TOGETHER WE ARE BRUISED BLACK AND BLUE.

Stop the pain. Hold our hands. Let the love flow. Let the Heart speak until it sings.

So yesterday old Blackfeet and Regina didn't see each other for the DUMBEST thing. She said "oh baby ill move in the nursing home with you"

He says something all "nonsense that's dumb shut up" all Grumpy Bear.

I don't even want to be with you.

So i talked to Michael about their unique situation.

He could had said "I'm well enough to move into a regular home with you. We don't need the nursing home. I moved to (US state) to be with you. To be close to you because you mean more to Me than Anything in the world. And you deserve a big ole castle. Because i love you and we gotta do all this best and right. No nursing home. We got another 50 years plus i wanna be doing you on the kitchen table and not here. All I can smell is stinky old man diapers from the neighbor"

And she could said had he continued the fight "oh idk what I'm saying I've never even seen the nursing home. Do you mind i come visit you there? Id really like that"

It would taken ONE. Only one to stop their ninny war.

And they would been holding each other. With love.

Instead of living in Hell.

So, now what happened was we put it all on old dad. Because hes the Black Beethoven who can suddenly sing a ballad of symphony in the midst of telling some real bad history truth.

Then moments later Regina said "well i could said something different, too".

It takes two to tango.

So I challenge y'all to punch inequality in the face. BLM. there is no difference between.

Black. Blue. Red. Purple. Yellow. Green. All bruises.

Challenge each other. Black and blue.

Force it. There is no difference and it must be seen.

Chant it. Turn on the "Boombox" and dance together. Dance if some won't. But do it in their face.

Laugh. Be happy. In their face.

If they're bitter like an 18 year old me and don't have a Angel Mommy to bust their ass back down into a sitting position. Someone will beat the shit out of them. Someone will stop them and i Will go after them and send you services for legal and medical. Free.

Acknowledge.

You are hurt. I am hurt.

Lets Live. Lets be happy.

Lets try. Trying makes perfect.

"MOVE BACK"

"TAKE THAT FIRST STEP"

"MOVE BACK"

"SEE WE ARE HURT SAME AS YOU" point out the ones that have fear. The ones that try to intimidate. -- The I Can See You -- let them scream in your face youre nothing but a piece of shit. And yell back they're someone inside a police uniform. And you can see it.

Beat their asses like fucking Care Bears.

Teach you a little photography. 1. Dirty lens. Dry skin. 2. Lotions the skin. Hannibal lectur. 3. Cleans the lens. 4 & 5 close up with flash. 6&7 close up without flash.

After meeting some kids in college. Native Americans from tribes near Gallup. Very very. Very Racist.

I began to question my life long believe of how I could live with being a military based person. And being an Native American.

I didn't know. I just knew i could and it wasn't fair to me to destroy the very being of me. Simply because it don't make sense without actual factual historical documents.

Remember Oregon Trail was First. That made Atlas.

Then down the coast to find gold. So NM DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT NO FUCKING TRAIL OF TEARS SO GET OUT MY FACE.

And so my owl... Its every thing. I didn't design it normal. It has wings that are out stretched yes.

But it has a secomd pair of wings. Which are pins from the United States Coast Guard. Those wings are like hands. To do things close by to the body.

Its slightly designed after a Hindu God. She has 6 arms.

Here the wings are keeping the body warm and safe and sound.

How could myself own an owl to represent my secret past of S.Leigh if it can't have hands to represent both my heart and mind?

There figlirliee on the head. That's not for me. Its because I think about you. The mass population of Earth.

I need more simply than what the Earth can provide in the reality of which exists on Earth.

There's an hour glass of water on it's side, traveling... My baby bird is flying with an hour glass.

If you look. You'll see a woman under and between the two shields. And she has "duck lips"

For the real "Not Gary Donald Trump"

Her lips are actually a heart. But they look off..

A rose each sits above the shields. A diamond in the midst of the tail feathers.

No piece

No area.

Is just a feather. A stroke of color.

Each is an item. There's no nothing. It is all something

The military did not just beat us and we took it as Muscogee Creek Nation. We built an Atlas. Recivejed the City of Atlantis -- the Spain sent supplies to help us for years. All the way from Florida.

There was Something. It all wasn't nothing

Or for nothing. Everyone looks for the truth. Looks for the Lost City of Atlantis and i am the one who sunk it. Because I am the Goddess.

The diamond has a purple eye. Diamonds are the hardest and toughest known substance.

Well i know my mind is gonna cut you and rip you apart from what I've seen. So my eyes are like diamonds. My mind

Our tounges are diamonds. We can slash each other apart.

Or we can acknowledge the riches we have.

My Ultimate Challenge is for the police to create a barricade when necessary. No weapons in hand. Hands on the top of their heads and chant BLM Bruises are the same.

We know black bruises hurt the worst, the same level as red.

Then purple. Then blue. Green and yellow rarely do.

So please fight blindness and inequality with me.

And please post it on the national news and international news. So that we know as a world we all fight together

Whether it's in the couches or in the streets.

Thank you for trying.