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mumuscae · 5 months ago

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SPOILERS!!! SPOILERS!!!

Rant on Storytaco's bad writing of dark skinned characters. Specifically Sirius.

I wanna start this out with saying, I do not hate Sirius as a character. He's one of my favorites and I feel like he had wasted potential being in the hands of Storytaco. I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying Sirius as a character either! I believe however that we can enjoy media, and look at it from a critical lense. There are good things about his character and I enjoy a lot of how he was written lore wise!!! Otherwise I wouldn't be so violently obsessed with him since the age of 15 lol. But again. There are a combination of things that I can't really see as a coincidence.

If you have anything to add, or disagree with any of my points, please do not be afraid to say so! I wanna have an actual discussion about this. please I do not bite. I stand pretty firm on my points at this very moment, but I'm entirely willing to listen and change.

Uh. Apologies if my points come across poorly or if my writing is incoherent. There's a reason why I did bad in school lol.

My criticisms are below here. Have fun

Anyways.

Fuck Storytaco?

Uh. This is 100% inspired by recent discussion on the fandoms treatment of Sirius. But I'd like to discuss why this treatment is actively perpetuated by the developers of Arcana Twilight. Which is much more disturbing to think about when you consider their games are often marketed towards minors.(There are other issues with storytaco marketing towards minors too. Uh, idk if those are relevant for this post though. Maybe later cuz it's high key disturbing!!! 😃)

Sirius was written very inconsiderately. Like I know he's a villainous/morally gray character. However I feel like there needs to be a lot more tact when your only dark skinned character is written to be not a good person. Especially in comparison to the light skinned characters. I feel like they just applied every negative trait on earth to him, then turned around and went "jk guys! He's not actually bad. Hes like this cuz he's an orphan." 😭 Like some of these traits would be fine in their own if balanced out with other things, but there's so many combined together that I can't help but feel suspicious of their intentions and bias.

He's the most provocative out of all the love interests. He's consistently initiating suggestive situations, is labeled the "sexyman", and is constantly making innuendos. The game has a lot of fan service in general (even though it's rated E), but Sirius is disproportionately portrayed this way and is just constantly going "hehe sex 😁" Which making him the provocative one is both an issue with him being queer coded and dark skinned..double whammy 😟

He's the dangerous, unpredictable and violent one. He SHOT!!! SHOT the mc within the first few floors. And like. There wasn't even a good reason behind why they decided to write that in other than to make us think he's violent/dangerous/untrustworthy. There are times when it's portrayed that he can't even be trusted alone in a room with the mc, even prior to the villain arc. 😐

He's a pretty much a domestic terrorist.... 😐

He was a wanted criminal for half of the story. Idk if I need to explain what's wrong with that either 😐

He's potentially the only one killed off at the ending depending on your interpretation.

In the clan equivalent of Americans (cough. Guns + eagles + the lazy unlikable rebellious group that just gets into trouble) which is just. Silly. 😭😒

Again he's the "untrustworthy one that nobody wants to be around." This is a point constantly driven in by the characters he's surrounded with. they drill that into the viewers head so so so much.

He's the "party animal" of the group??? Which isn't really portrayed beyond him drinking a lot but was definitely advertised as such.

He's 100% queer coded you cannot convince me otherwise. Which. Now we're falling into queer coded poc villain territory. Double whammy again! Disney is that you?

Going off the queer coded point, he's falling into "predatory gay man" territory. Hes shipped with basically every man in the game by storytaco for promotional and bait reasons. But it's always displayed as Sirius making the other party uncomfortable and getting in their personal space. Making unwanted advances. Like... Y'all don't got a do that

Ok this is possibly nitpicky but deadass why'd they make him a basketball player in the highschool au thingy. He's a theater kid. Nothing about him reads as liking sports. Please do not wear dangly earrings while playing sports??? It bothers me so much 💀

Okay so the sassy, violent, deranged, perverted terrorist... is the only romance-able dark skinned man in the game. ??? NONONO just think about that for a good moment

HE HAS OTHER THINGS IN HIS CHARACTER. THERE ARE GOOD PARTS ABOUT HIS CHARACTER!!! I LOVE SIRIUS SO MUCH. HES VERY COMPLEX AND INTERESTING.. but this is such a horrible combination of very specific negative tropes that it's hard to ignore. Especially when thinking about how this game is advertised to minors who, more often than not, are easily subjected to subconscious bias in media and are easily influenced due to our lack of ability to critically analyze media we're haphazardly consuming. (Sorry fellow minors. As a senior minor aka 17 yo it's the hard truth y'all gotta accept. we've all been there and we've been influenced by media whether we're aware of it or not. I'm not mad at y'all or belittling. Keep having ur funsies with ur silly star men I'm not stopping you lol? This is legitimate concern and criticism towards a company that is promoting weird stereotypes to us)

And I don't think Sirius is just a one off weirdly written dark skinned character from Storytaco. Thuban (WHO IS GREEEEEY. Big issue on its own 😰😭) is depicted as lazy and rude.???? Like he has a single redeeming moment but again. Just reads as "domineering rowdy black man." Especially when you look at the whole great hero trio .. he's supposed to fall within the fantasy "Fighter" archetype with his big ass mace. Compared to Polaris who is like a Cleric and the Wizard/Ranger Schedar.

Also shout out to storytacos other grey men.....???????? I was only able to find four dark skinned men (not just tanned a bit) including Sirius when I went thru Storytacos game catalogue. Two of them are grey. 😐

Anyways Sirius was a huge motivating factor in why I wanted to make Extraterrestrial... Fucked up potential of a character. There are 100% biases showing through how he was written. These were all conscious decisions made on the writers part and I don't think it can be kept behind "he's a morally gray character who's going thru it" because there were so many good ways to show that and his grief without going to every. single. extreme.

#arcana twilight #arcana twilight sirius #artw #arcana twilight nation #finally speaking out about this its been bothering me so much

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premier-amour-mm · 11 months ago

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Omg, Vivinos uploaded this picture yesterday and that makes me think that the next video is right around the corner.

Ofc, I don't think they're gonna show immediately round 7 but focus more on Luka and Hyuna's relationship first. Ofc we got some clips of their childhood in "All-in" and in the little comics Vivinos posts once in a while, but I believe they need to show us a clearer view of what actually happened. Yes, (spoiler warning) I'm refering to that incident with Hyuna's brother obviously and, yes, I do believe he's dead dead. However, I can't find myself agreeing that Luka killed him…I JUST CAN'T GUYS. Like, no, he's not a little yandere who wants Hyuna all to himself, I think there's way more to his character than that. Maybe his methods of getting what he wants are a little bit problematic (I'm looking at you "Ruler of my heart" mv), however, I feel he has good intentions for doing what he did (I'm mostly talking about his trying to get on Mizi's nerves in order to start beating him and, then eventually for Hyuna to come to her rescue…yes, in my opinion, it was kinda planned by them beforehand- or I could be wrong- Luka getting surprised about Hyuna's sudden appearance and actually having attempted to get Mizi trapped/killed by the aliens). Additionally, I have to question myself WHY would he kill Hyuna's brother in the first place. They must have been a little close too and clearly Hyuna and her brother couldn't be romantically (right? RIGHT.) . Yes, I know I can't expect them to have the same (or even any) morals with the humans who lived on Earth, but…AAAAAAA, idk 😭.

That's the problem actually, the more we analyse it the more will we realise that we know almost nothing about their backstory. Everything could be interpreted differently if you look at each perspective. Maybe Luka isn't a bad guy with just his methods being questionable or, on the other hand, he maybe crazy and one of the villians. I DON'T WANT to believe that. I want to believe that sth more is behind what happened between him and Hyuna's brother and that it was all just a misunderstanding.

Btw, I'm also looking forward to round 6's aftermath. Not just Ivan dying ofc…but Till's full reaction over this. I'm looking for some of his character development maybe…? Like, from his viewpoint, Till thought Ivan was a guy who was just "obsessed" with him and maybe he considered him a kind of a creep (even though deep down I think he regarded him as his friend), however -come on- how oblivious can he be? Ivan literally died for him. JUST LOOK AT TILL'S SURPRISE/ DEVESTATED FACE when he realised what Ivan had done. That makes me wait for him to realise how much he cared about him and, idk, start to develop feelings for him now and even ackowledging that he can't ever have Mizi or/and that he doesn't love her that way anymore? IDK, I just want the next video to be uploaded so baddd. Hehe, a Luka and Hyuna duet would be very much appreciated STUDIO LICO.

Also, what are your guys' specualtions about the next video?? I'm really looking forward to reading your opinions

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elizakai · 1 year ago

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you guys i can’t take this anymore i need to release steam from this pot of killer and dust thoughts that’s on the stove

listen. if you don’t know by now. one of my favorite things to do is bridge narratives between fanon ideas, and canon truths hehe

Killer and Dust. The accepted dynamic is basically killer being a pestering little shit and dust being over it.

THATS GREAT ON ITS OWN it’s funny etc

but think about their ACTUAL characters for a moment. they are two sides of the same coin.

⬇️

i don’t want to hear any of that old fandom “they are literally the same” shhhhh. nuh uh dear friend, they commuted the same (general) action💥

their motives and situations are very different however! which is important when it comes to understanding a character

They both played into an opposite role in their world if you ask me.

Killer partners with chara, filling the role of the player. he’s a lot like flowey actually.

(in killers world, while he is still a pawn of this sick game, he gets manipulated after all, he has taken on the ROLE of the player. everyone else are the pawns.)

dust is against the anomaly of dusttale, which is that worlds player.

dust is a pawn. a pawn that is defying the player of the game

(in the same way that killer is still pawned, dust still uses his fellow “pawns” as a means to “win” the game, meaning he’s also playing)

(but again, i’m speaking role wise)

Killer and Dust’s dynamic doesn’t have to just be haha funny, it has some actual merit and potential to their characters.

Killer is constantly looking for new forms of entertainment. something new. he’ll get bored, and if he’s bored he’ll have to look at himself. killer is very much a character representing disassociation avoidance and to an extent, escapism (huh. like someone playing a video game?)

Of COURSE he’s gonna poke at people. it’s INTERESTING. it gets a REACTION. he gets to have that small power trip of being in control, after feeling like he lost control this is something that’s probably addictive to killer.

meanwhile dust…well. killer acts like his own anomaly in a way. he prods at him, toys with him, he’s leering and he takes pleasure in any reaction dust gives. dust probably would resent this feeling without really knowing why. he feels like some toy, and he’d probably be inclined to even interpret a genuine interaction this way.

this honestly makes dusts inclination to shut off or dull down any emotion make more sense. be as unremarkable as possible, and you’ll be left alone, right?

isn’t that…kind of what sans does? he’ll repeat same lines of dialogue and such when he reallyyy doesn’t have to. he’s being uninteresting. (and no he doesn’t need to remember everything magically for that to be possible. in game he will poke fun at past conversations and dialogue so he’s clearly aware enough)

Killer wants a response, so dust doesn’t give one.

killer wants control and feels like this is a challenge, dust feels cornered and defensive

if they had existed in the same world, it would have been killer vs dust in the end either way.

it’s a big old game of cat and mouse until someone snaps. they need to be given the opportunity to understand their similarities

even in an interpretation where they are in a healthier relationship, in whatever capacity, i think these mindsets would be conflict they may have….

to killer , on one hand he may be OFFENDED by his lack of response. he may be EXCITED, it’s a CHALLENGE. he might take dusts resignation as a sign of submission, which would give killer a HIGE power trip.

he might. genuinely just be trying to have fun?

it could be ENTIRELY lighthearted, and it’s still…rather toxic, considering where that mindset branched from

and we know dust won’t be inclined to say anything. he probably doesn’t understand his own feelings to be frank💀 he just feels gross and intimidated and cornered so he shuts off and sees killer as oppressive , and grows resentful regardless of intent, as these feelings only feed into his crippling self hatred anyways

….thats all for tonight-

#utmv #ut au #undertale #sans aus #dust sans #murder sans #killer sans #bad sanses #THOUGHTS #PLEASE SHARE IM SISBDOD #this is unorganized and i don’t care hee hoo #headcanons #interpretations ig #dusttale #something new au #kist #if we want #😏#or not

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grandlinedreams · 2 years ago

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Hi, I hope you’re having a beautiful day!

I was wondering, if it appeals to you, could we possibly get a Law reunion with reader on Zou? ✨

But when they’re reunited it’s alone/away from the rest of the crew (for fluffiness reasons hehe). Definitely still canon that Law went to Dressrosa alone so maaaybe a little bit of reader angst at that (not being allowed to go with him etc) which then leads to confessed feelings/fluff when they are reunited idk I’m sure it’ll be amazing however you interpret it! I‘m a sucker for a separated/reunited trope urgh 😭✨

OH YES we love reunited fics in this house 🥺😤 I hope that I can do this justice for you!!

[Heads up!: Dressrosa spoilers, Zhou spoilers, fluff, comfort!]

There's still no sign of them.

Perched as close to the edge as you dare to go, you peer at the sheer drop below, the mist that clings to Zunesha's legs like a second skin and makes true visibility nigh impossible.

"Come on," you mumble to yourself, willing there to be a sign of movement, a faint whisper of voices on the wind ㅡ and sigh when you hear nothing but the distant roar of ocean. "Where are you guys?"

The part of you that's rooted in logic knows that you're being impatient, that you need to have more faith in Law's abilities, as well as Luffy and the others ㅡ but the bigger part of you is a mixture of anger and worry the longer you go without a sign of them.

"Let me go with you to Dressrosa. I can help!" Eyes narrowed, you glare at Law who stares back impassively.

"No. Someone needs to go ahead with the crew to Zhou."

Your teeth clench, biting back the steady rise of frustration. "Why? The crew is perfectly capable of making it themselves, you know that. They're not idiots."

Law's eyes flash, flicker of genuine anger to clash with yours. "Why are you being so difficult about this?"

"Because you're being an idiot," you hiss, "going to Dressrosa alone is suicide, Law."

"I'm not going alone. Strawhatㅡ"

"If they're going, then why can't I?"

"Because I said no, damn it!" Law snaps, voice sharp. "You're going to Zhou, [Name]. End of discussion."

Hurt and fury war quietly in the way you look at him. "Fine."

The memory of it still leaves a sour taste in your mouth, even more for the fact that it'd been the last time you'd spoken to him ㅡ and ended on such a bitter note.

"Don't die on me, you idiot," you mutter, pressing the heels of your palms to eyes hard enough for supernovas to burst behind your closed lids. "Hurry up and get here."

Giving the ocean one last hopeful glance, you turn, heading back to rejoin the others.

ㅡ

"Welcome back, Captain!"

From your perch in a low laying tree branch, you watch as Bepo, Shachi and Penguin dart towards Law, relieved to have him back in one piece.

You are too, of course ㅡ but you curl your fingers against the branch, looking away when Law's head lifts.

You don't want to talk to him. (You do.)

You're still angry with him. (You're not.)

You slip from the branch and dust yourself off before you slink off, disappearing further into the dense foliage.

It doesn't take long for Law to find you. He's perhaps the only one who knows you this well, maybe even better than you know yourself at times.

"It's dangerous to roam around on your own," he says, watches as you tense for a moment before you relax, attention on the plant in front of you rather than him.

"Haven't found trouble yet." You stroke your fingers along a broad, bright green leaf before you turn, guilt gnawing viciously at your insides. "I...shouldn't have talked to you the way I did. And..."

You really shouldn't have ㅡ your own feelings aside, anyone else would've called your attitude insubordination, because Law is your captain.

"It's fine. You meant well." Law hesitates, studying you and the way you'd trailed off before he prompts gently, "And?"

You give him an unreadable look before you approach slowly, trying to keep from shying away. You could simply walk past him, rejoin the others because you can still hear them, and they'll wonder where the two of you wandered off to soon ㅡ but you don't.

Law freezes when you press against him, hyperaware of the wind of your arms against his back ㅡ foreign, but not entirely unwelcome.

"I'm sorry about this too," you say when he remains frozen, though when you move to pull away, his arms come up to stop you.

"It's fine."

You wait a beat before you press your forehead against his chest. "I should still be mad at you for making me worry. But that's also Luffy's fault, I'd assume."

Law hums. "And are you?"

You shake your head. "No."

A small smile tugs at Law's lips. "Good."

"We're going to Wano after this, yeah?" A hum of confirmation. "We should probably go back to the others before they suspect something is up."

Law's grip tightens. "In a minute," he says, leans so that his head rests atop yours. "...let me hold you a little longer."

It's not a confession from either of you, not really ㅡ but it's a start.

#ㅡmine.#one piece scenario #one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #ㅡanswered.#anonymous #–ml: law.

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scrumptiousstuffs · 9 months ago

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Hehe, personally I think Alan was the most pathetic character of First ever. I mean he was a loser of the 1st degree (Sand was much much better in comparison) but the somdom and First solos specially love him. So I think everyone just loves him to see play dejected and rejected characters. It won't be bad if Bison dumps him (cause of his betrayer ass) at the end of THK 👀 But then those who want 'happy ending' for all the cps might not like it.

With the limited screen time First had as Alan - he made it work.

You called him the most pathetic character - and you know what? I bet Alan thinks the same of himself when Wen shouted at him that he only slept with Alan because he felt sorry for him. You could see the crushing blow to his pride and self-loathing written all over his face.

Here is a man who desperately tries to repair his broken relationship and then come to the final realisation that there is really nothing he could do for a love that has lost its spark.

And so, for me - he successfully convey the pitiful state of a guy who is broken inside (before being revived by our angelic Gaipa).

In terms of First playing dejected/rejected characters, I’m interpreting it as you equating First last few characters had him crying or being somber/depressed.

I think he is a versatile actor who shows such wonderful range - yes, the last few shows had scenes of him crying (and I still say FK are one of the prettiest criers out there who makes the audience feel with them).

However, equally these shows also highlight his ability to go beyond just crying/being emotional - Akk cheekily teasing Aye back! or slutty/flirty Yok and Sand steady confidence as he handles Ray. Some actors are stiff, but I find him so fluid in his acting, that I believe whatever he (or Khao) are actually showing us on screen.

As for Bison dumping Kant - well, I have no doubt it will happen (or some version of it), but given the rom-com label that Jojo and the boys keep emphasising, the show will likely end with KantBison driving off into the sunset blissfully together (or as blissful as it can be when one is an assassin and the other is ex-thief tattooist)

#asked and answered #first kanaphan #firstkhao #it seems a lot of you want to talk about FK characters 😬😂#I hope I did this ask justice lol #moonlight chicken #AlanGaipa

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dark-frosted-heart · 8 months ago

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Beauty and the Beast's Last Theater - Keith Howell (part 2/4)

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

As if to personify his own heart, the forest was gloomy with thick clouds covering the sky.

His other self appeared, his cold, beastly eyes looking down at him in exasperation.

Alter!Keith: Hey, how long are you gonna hug your knees and mope around for? Emma didn’t say anything, so it’s fine. Besides, this was all because you were so stupidly nervous… …Well, maybe your little sister saw things differently. But saying something like “Brother, you’re kidding, right?” with a straight face was too insensitive.

(Keith)—I might’ve felt less hurt if she told me outright that I was terrible.(Keith)—You really saved me when you took over after that…thanks.

Alter!Keith: I didn’t have a choice since Emma was confused by the unsettling mood.

(Keith)—Sorry to Emma. I’m a worthless weed.(Keith)—On that note, you’re really amazing. Even though it’s your first time reading through the script, you didn’t make a single mistake.

Alter!Keith: I just happened to remember stuff because you and Emma read the book so many times.

(Keith)—That makes it even more amazing! You can’t convey the right feelings if you don’t understand the protagonist’s thoughts.

Alter!Keith: …I don’t feel good when you praise me.

The other half looked uncomfortable while he showed endless respect.

At the same time, what happened during the tea party flashed before his eyes and his expression became gloomy.

(Keith)—...Is there time to be the tree’s stand-in?

Alter!Keith: Even if there was, they wouldn’t let the guy cast as the lead take the role.

(Keith)—You’re right…Sorry, I’m being timid.

(Keith)—...But…

His hands clutched at his knees, wrinkling his pants.

He suddenly looked up at his counterpart.

His counterpart stared back as if already knowing what he was about to say.

(Keith)—I have a favor to ask.

~~ Back to the real world~~

Stage rehearsals took place at the director’s mansion.

(Alter)Keith: ‘Why are you all alone in the woods this late at night? Did you stray away from someone?’

Emma: ‘No way…You can really see me?’

(Alter)Keith: ‘Hm? Of course I can. I can also hear a beautiful voice. And…I can touch you.’

Emma: ‘This is like a dream…I’ve always wanted to touch you. Your hands, they’re big and warm.’

Although the leads were new to the stage, rehearsals were going well.

(When the band starts playing, exit the stage…)

Alter!Keith: Miss spirit, it’s not time to exit the stage yet

(He’s right. Things changed a while ago…!)

Prince Keith had immediately noticed my mistake and pulled me over to change my course as if directing me.

Thanks to him, there wasn’t a call to stop.

(He even has the flexibility to cover up for his partner…he’s really amazing)

From the first day of rehearsals, Prince Keith’s interpretation of his character, expressions, and movements were all high level, surprising the crew.

(However, I never imagined wicked Keith playing this part)

(...I don’t think what Mireille said back at the tea party was the cause…)

(...)

(But, it’s likely…)

For a while, rehearsal continued. And then at the same time as usual, the director called for a break.

As if on cue, I had braced myself for the rest of the crew to crowd me. Prince Keith gallantly came over and took my hand with a pleasant smile that I couldn’t refuse.

(Alter)Keith: You worked hard, Emma. I don’t want anyone to bother us, so how about we take a break outside?

Alter!Keith: … …I’m beat.

Emma: Hehe, you’ve worked hard.

As we sat down on a bench hidden in the garden, Prince Keith leaned against me.

(You can tell he’s tired)

Although he’s the type that can do anything easily, this was his first time he’s been seen acting.

Not only that, since he’s the first prince of the royal family, people always go up to him on breaks in an attempt to get to know him.

I suppose that’s why he’s tired.

(He never used to show me that he was tired…but I can’t tell him that I’m glad he’s doing it)

(The reason why he’s been rehearsing so seriously was more because of…)

(It’s more because of nice Prince Keith and me, probably)

Just the thought of it warmed my heart.

Emma: Thanks for helping me when I almost made a mistake earlier.

Prince Keith rested his chin on my shoulder and looked at me expectantly.

Alter!Keith: That’s it?

(...He wants something else as a reward, doesn’t he?)

I held back my embarrassment and gave him a light peck.

Emma: Is this enough?

Alter!Keith: Not even close.

Emma: —Mn.

His large hand pulled me in from the back of my head and our lips met again.

The way his hot tongue entwined with mine was relentless and the intensity of it left me weak and trembling.

Our lips parted and it became my turn to lean against Prince Keith.

Emma: This…is too much.

Alter!Keith: You enjoyed it though? Cut me some slack.

(Ugh…)

His teasing left me at a loss for words so I smacked his arm in retaliation. He immediately gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Alter!Keith: That didn’t hurt at all.

Emma: I was being considerate.

Alter!Keith: Yes, yes. Emma is so very kind.

(Geez…It’s times like this when Prince Keith’s happy with anything I do)

I couldn’t help but love him when he gave me that innocent smile. I was utterly defeated.

The warmth radiating from Prince Keith’s body as I leaned against him was comforting and the fatigue from rehearsal quickly faded away.

Emma: I was surprised when you didn’t look nervous at all on the first day of rehearsal and showed a natural performance the director was looking for.

Alter!Keith: It’s probably because I’m used to acting like someone else.

(Ah…)

Alter!Keith: That said, I’m just going through the motions. Can’t compete with someone who really loves the piece of work.

(...I see. I suppose he’s good at playing the role since acting like nice Prince Keith’s part of his daily life)

~~ Flashback ~~

Keith: …Yeah. Thanks, Emma.

~~ End flashback ~~

Suddenly, I remembered the uneasiness from the tea party.

(I had a feeling…)

Alter!Keith: You know why “I’m” the one taking the stage, don’t you?

(He could see it on my face)

Emma: I have an idea.

(But I won’t know if it’s true unless I ask…)

(...I shouldn’t. Even though Prince Keith’s with me, my mind wandered)

(If the Keiths haven’t swapped, then they must have talked about it)

(So there’s nothing for me to worry about)

(That’s what I told myself and stopped thinking about it)

Alter!Keith: … Hey, Emma. Did you hear?

(Huh…Prince Keith?)

#ikepri #ikemen prince #ikepri jp #ikepri translations #keith howell #ikepri keith

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doukeshi-kun · 2 years ago

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did kolya ever dispose the bodies of alex and julia? (i cant remember if that was their names hehe its been a while...)

because i've been wondering if he got caught and arrested or he just ran off too, OR he just murdered the rest of the officer's? AND HOW DARE HE KISS ANOTHER WOMAN ? was it basically just a plan to get closer to the reader at the end. i got so many questions (im still not healed 😐)

ah i just really love any discussion about stalker!nikolai bcs i really love to hear thoughts and opinions and theories from you guys 😆

well, to answer, julia was 'disposed', sort of. she was, after all, mutilated and stuffed into garbage bags and the rests of her body were thrown at the back gate of the haunted fair—near the forest. alex, well... after y/n and nikolai ran away from the police, alex's corpse was being left on the road but a few police did find him and surround his body as our main couple ran away and had their conflict somewhere.

whether kolya got caught or got bailed or ran off, that's totally up to interpretation. is this an excuse that i don't have storyline for that? no! bcs i do have the real answer on how nikolai is still 'free' even after all that incident and why he kissed the woman.

and below this :readmore:, i'm telling briefly on what actually happened (from the writer's perspective lmao). but again, i did intentionally leave the details bcs i like to have my readers interpret the scenes however they want

so, firstly, whether nikolai does possess The Overcoat in this au does not matter. in my mind, he was caught up by the polices and there are already several implications that he has connection with fyodor still (based from ivan's scene). he complied with the authority while also depending on fyodor (or anyone you want, really... or perhaps himself) to help him with the proofs and accusations. so, yes, he was caught up and complied to the authorities. i believe nikolai is not a man who kill unnecessarily (alex is necessary lmao and julia... well, he killed her bcs she made y/n's life horrible. so she got that chop chop). as i believed he is such a man, i can't really see him murdering all the polices... especially after his funfair was raided, alex's corpse was left on the road near the fair, etc. the most logical way to do this is to play smart. and besides, in BSD universe itself, the polices are kinda weak and like.... how many fucking murderers roaming the BSD world😭 pretty sure nikolai can tweak the law and system easily, especially considering he was a secretary for the ministry of justice years ago.

but! like i said, you can freely think however you want him to escape or be free. he killed the polices? sure! he escaped thru his portal? yeay! he just get caught and spent 3 months in jail? okay! — after all, you are the reader.

secondly, yes, he kissed maya (i was hurted too writing that goddamn) and fortunately he rejected her offer to have sex because he is THAT loyal. and well, while he made out with maya purely to manipulate the poor lady emotionally to get to the reader, but hey :) at least he kissed you back thousands times more desperate and hungrier and passionate.

#i love the trilogy #and i got a lot of nice comments on ao3 :D #everytime people say that my fic is like a published book or smth along the line #my 11-years old self is very happy #道化師-says❃ུ۪ #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai x reader

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seriousbrat · 3 months ago

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I am genuinely curious about this: when people say "Lily deserves better" what do they mean? Do people have specific characteristics or story lines in mind or is it just more of a general statement?

I love Lily and I've been obsessed with her since I read DH (how slayful is it that "The Prince's Tale" which is named after Snape is basically 90% the Life of Lily Evans yes I know Snape is telling Harry his motivations but it's cool to me that it's set up like this). So in my head, Lily can not possibly end up with a mediocre-terrible guy. That's why I know that there is more to James than the bullying arrogant boy in the memories. There has to be a good reason why Lily was crushing on this guy before he supposedly changed his ways that isn't as shallow, as say, looks. But also in my hc sure it's a dark time but I still see Lily being more experienced than James in terms of relationships before they got together for real. Who's to say I'm wrong except JKR but I know she won't ever release a prequel hehe but I am curious about what others think. What gives off the impression that Lily settled? Do you guys think she got carried away or influenced by the war? Do you think the marriage is more political than out of passion? Because honestly I also love exploring that angle in fanfic even if I don't necessarily agree kek

Well, I think the simple answer is that if you hate James and see him as a completely irredeemable person, then obviously Lily would deserve better!

Tbh, even if I might personally disagree I'd much rather see that than people blaming Lily and calling her a selfish gold-digger haha. At least the perspective that Lily deserves better is based in empathy for Lily. (although I would def not say that better = Snape, as far as Lily is concerned. lmao)

Also-- personally I don't think it's fair to say that women, even good women, can't be attracted to or date or marry terrible guys (not that you were necessarily saying this, I just think it's important to keep in mind.) However I think in terms of how we're meant to read canon, yes the fact that Lily couldn't stand him and then ended up dating him is intended to indicate that James changed his behaviour at least to some degree. It's not 100% conclusive proof, perhaps, but it is evidence imo.

Obviously we're meant to take that conversation with Remus and Sirius with a grain of salt, but even reading between the lines I think this is pretty clearly the intended reading. If it was meant to be otherwise, we would have seen some conclusive proof of this (and Snape, while it's understandable, is not really a reliable character witness when it comes to James either.) Instead the idea that Lily was happy with James and loved him is reinforced within the text, and also later by jkr in interviews/extra content.

If the marriage had been some sort of sham and it made Lily miserable, she would not have been described as 'alight with happiness' at her wedding, rather she would have looked miserable or conflicted. In the domestic scenes we see between them (both the photograph and Voldemort's memory) they are shown to be happy (relatively happy given the external circumstances, anyway) and functional instead of Lily being shown sobbing in a corner while James yells at her or whatever.

The problems she does describe in her letter are a product of the war/their confinement rather than the relationship itself, and she speaks fondly and with concern for James. I think the extreme situation they found themselves in would put any relationship to the test, honestly, so the fact that they were generally alright to me is a good sign. Like, most normal couples don't exist in a situation where one has to sneak invisibly out of their own house if they want to go outside, so I don't think it's a completely fair metric to judge James by even if you do focus on that bit (despite Lily not expressing any huge issue with it herself.)

All that being said, if someone wants to interpret things differently and explore a darker relationship with more conflict-- I think that's fine! I myself don't see it as a perfect relationship by any means, and don't really enjoy when it's depicted that way. In reality no relationship is perfect, let alone one between teenagers forged amidst war. So while I personally do believe they were a good match and generally a happy, functional couple, I always write them with some issues to work through because that feels more realistic to me (and more interesting.)

In this band AU where James is not only an arrogant toerag but a famous arrogant toerag, and they don't die, it's been interesting to explore them as a couple with even more conflict between them than in canon haha. But also (eventually) as much more mature individuals with more capacity for self-reflection.

As for Lily being attracted to James pre- head deflating, honestly we can't control who we're attracted to. It's likely she was not even aware of the fact. So honestly I don't think this has much to do with who James was as a person, at least it's not extremely indicative. Personally I've been attracted to terrible/mediocre people before haha, such is life.

#replies #jily #jl

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dxy-drxxm · 1 year ago

Text

SYNOPSIS: Kaeya has a lot of things he enjoyed about you. Or, well, admired, to be frank.

CW/s: tooth rotting fluff, short drabble, kaeya is a hopeless SIMP (/silly), tbh he's just a silly guy who can't confess if his life depended on it (and... It did lol), can be interpreted as platonic or romantic (it's both, but it's a slow transition from platonic to romantic hehe)

NOTE: hi, this drabble is for @ryuryuryuyurboat for @ecrin-de-litterature's "kiss (don't tell)" event! I hope you enjoy a drabble of Kaeya being a hopeless simp because as much as I'd like to write a full blown date with him, I've been busy since college and I want to curl up and pass away. orz.

Kaeya never says a lot about the person he admires.

For him, the Cavalry Captain had more than enough to take care of. Maybe it was due to the job that kept him busy, or even because of how life gave him a batch of lemons that he needed to deal with.

But when it comes to certain people like who he's seen now, it made him feel as though he became but the same child when Cyrus adopted him all those years ago.

He still remembered the first time you two met—you were one of Lisa's attendants. An assistant, one could say. You're always available whenever Lisa isn't feeling the urge to check in the library, which is often, and Kaeya had decided to try and see what you're like.

Sure, you may have panicked and treated him like a stranger, but it wasn't long for you two to get close. Soon, you're treating him like you two have been friends for years, joking and laughing over certain things.

Kaeya couldn't help but smile. He always liked seeing others express joy when he couldn't.

Though, little by little, the dynamic seem to change. Others pointed out to him that you and Kaeya had been together for quite a while now, always speaking and chatting over the most mundane things.

Petty drama from the knights, Lisa's recent books and those who borrowed arriving late, the many foreigners that came about when the traveler would be busy in another region... You two had a lot to talk about, and sometimes, he didn't notice how much you two could never stop speaking of such things.

It was stupid, he's aware, but he wouldn't lie and say he didn't like it. On the contrary, he enjoyed that time being spent on something he considering to be enjoyable.

You made his days less unbearable. Like he can wake up one day and think that things will be fine.

He admired that charm from you. You make it seem so... natural.

There were even moments that the two of you shared. He remembered your first Windblume festival with him, the first time you've spent working for a year with Lisa (it was your work anniversary, he joked to you once), and even down to when you two travelled to different nations together.

He's seen it all— your highs, lows, and even the turnarounds. He's heard you rant and ramble of the nations, and yet he felt his pride raise when you'd return to Mondstadt, still calling it your home.

It was clear that you have seen that place, out of every nation, as the best. In return, he did his best keeping it safe. Although, there had been moments he would mess up.

He may act confident, but when alone, he'd feel like he's a lost child again. He loathed that feeling.

The first time you've seen him act like it was when you two spoke of each other's pasts. Kaeya has told you what happened between him and Diluc, and he could never forget the way you hugged him for hearing his voice crack.

He cares for Diluc, like how he cares for you. However, how could he say the same for his adopted brother? Would he ever do the same thing you did to him?

... Perhaps. Perhaps not, even.

Still, he couldn't help but think how much he can even handle this feeling. It's a secret he's kept that your actions made him feel like he can be free, yet he kept himself trapped by will.

He was trapped in the feeling of admiration and envy, clashing and fighting against each other. It made his heart soar and ache when things happen, both because of you and because of himself.

He felt envious of you. He wanted to say that to you, but seeing you smile got rid of that envy.

...

It was a strange conundrum. One that left him sleepless for nights on end... And that's when it clicked.

He realized that it was a form of self-sabotage.

Kaeya didn't want to ruin the relationship you two had as friends, so he kept it under lock and key. He threw the key away, denying that he felt something to you. Denying that he felt as though he loved you that way. He couldn't. He didn't even know the answer.

...

It was stupid to worry. It truly is.

But now? How could he not worry?

He's done this to himself. Even if others told him to say it, to utter those words he forbade himself from speaking, he kept his mouth shut. You two are friends, and he's far too used to admiring you and your acts from afar.

He's craved to admire someone that would make him feel this way, and he got what he asked. Although, he couldn't bring himself to hate you for charming him like that.

After all, that is what makes you you. And he doesn't want you to lose the only thing that fits you perfectly.

@.dxy-drxxm | do not republish, repost, or copy my works anywhere | 2024

#🌙 | simple dream #genshin #genshin impact #astronetwrk #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaeya genshin #kaeya genshin impact #gi kaeya #kaeya alberich #genshin impact kaeya #kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya #— kiss (don’t tell) !#・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗

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asher-agere · 7 months ago

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*rubs hands mischeviously* what kind of little ichika headcanons do u have ? im fine with any kind rlly im just curious ehehehe ^w^

-@/ittybittystarryshow

( ˶°ㅁ°) !! OMG HI. Many of these will sound like. Your own headcanons- I struggle to understand Leo/Need a bit, so I honestly like study your blog and your interpretations to better understand them! But I’ll still make them original of course hehe

Little Ichika

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

‏𖦹 Starting with an age range! I’ve said before but I feel like Ichika regresses to like, 1-4. Just a tiny baby! But she can definitely regress sometimes to a big enough headspace to be a curious little toddler! She’d love exploring, just crawling around, checking things out. Even things she’s not supposed to be checking out! Such as instruments- Or just anything expensive really, but she’s drawn to the instruments! Baby just wants to play! Problem is baby breaks things and can’t fix them. Then she’ll get really sad ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა

𖦹 Little Ichika is obsessed with Miku. You might think big Ichika likes Miku? Wait till you meet the tiny baby! She always carries around her Miku plushy claiming it’s her best friend (Saki took physic damage hearing her say that). Sometimes she’ll go to Sekai and just ૮₍´˶• . • ⑅ ₎ა Tha’s Miku guys… She has so much stuff she’s had her Miku sign! Little baby collector! If someone doesn’t stop her she’ll spend all her money on Miku merch… Someone please stop her

𖦹 All baby gear is Miku themed! She has a Miku pacifier, Miku themed bedsheets and pajamas, Miku plushies, figurines too! But baby Ichika isn’t allowed to play with figurines cause one time she broke one… It was an accident! Now she gets really sad cause they look so cool… Why can’t she play? It’s not fair… Also eating healthy is never a problem! Baby doesn’t wanna eat veggies? Easy solution. Give her a leek! However she will use it as a microphone for a few minutes… But as long as her caregiver claps for her afterwards she’ll happily eat it!

𖦹 Stars! Little Ichika loooves watching the stars! I think she has a star blanket (Everyone in Leo/Need has matching ones because I say so). She loves taking her blanket outside to lay on and look up at the stars! Even better if she’s on the rooftop at her Sekai! She also likes having fruit that’s like cut into star shapes! Especially apples hehe. She’s tried cutting a leek into a star shape before but then it just sorta feel apart, baby was very sad (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

𖦹 I think when Ichika is regressed she has a very limited vocabulary, but one word she can definitely say is “Star”! Therefore. Everything is star. She’ll point to her sippy cup “Star”, point’s to a plushy “Star”. All of her friends? Yes their new names are “Star”. “Ichika how are you feeling?” You guessed it “Star” (Inspired by me regressing and calling everything 7. That was influenced by playing Uno though-)

𖦹 Y’know those liquid motion timer things? These

Yeah Ichika has like 5 of these- It’s so cool to watch! All the pretty colors move around and they mix to make a new color but then they separate? :0 Then it all stops… Then she flips it over and they go again! She also definitely had one that has glitter inside cause it looks like pretty stars! Her caregiver needs to watch her though, she’ll accidentally knock them over and they break and leave glass shards everywhere (•᷄ࡇ•᷅ ;)

𖦹 Ichika also loves flowers! She has cacti, but baby Ichika isn’t allowed near those. She just. Grabs. And she should not do that- It hurts a lot (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) Biting them is not better! She has tried! Do not let her or she will try again! So now Ichika just gets normal flowers :3 She loves picking flowers with meanings of like friendship and love and giving them to her caregiver and friends! She also loves to have her hair braided and flowers in her hair like Rapunzel… She’s a pretty princess!

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

While I was writing this post… I hit 100 followers? That’s insane… I’ll make an actual post about that in a minute! I started writing stuff here but it was getting too long… But thank all of you so much!

#age regression #agere #sfw agere #safe agere #agere sfw #age regressor #agere little #agere positivity #sfw age regression #pjsk agere #project sekai age regression #age regression sfw #pjsk #pjsk ichika #༄ pjsk #༄ Little Headcanons #༄ Requests #༄ Starry Show Request

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jitzlemonade · 1 year ago

Text

UNNAMED PART 4

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

Good news is, I'm not dead and I'm finally back. Sorry for the long hiatus, hehe. Life and procrastination got in the way. Anyway, Mima anon, I really appreciate you and your comments >< It really lets me know what people like about my work. This would have taken much longer if it wasn't for your ask that really motivate me to finally crunch it out. I bloody adore you, as a writer towards their reader. For the other anon, I did include Childe, so hope that partially satisfy your request. As for the second half? Haha, we'll see...

Hope you guys enjoy this, and as always, let me know what you think. Contains: Slight angst, fluff, happy, overcoming past love until whoops Pairing: Zhongli x Reader; Childe x Reader (featured)

Summary:

What was life meant for without Zhongli? Another person that stepped into your life seems to have the answer. ----------------------------------------------------------------

What are you without Zhongli?

The stone pavement feels cold against your back, and you could feel unknown liquid seeping into the fabric of your clothing. You would've been disgusted and immediately gotten up, but for now, you find that you don't care enough to bother getting up.

You gaze at the skies vacantly. It's sunny and bright and so full of life, but even as sunlight falls upon your motionless body splaying on the floor, you felt cold and tired. There's only one thing left to do now, you tell yourself, sleep. Your eyes closed, and you were gone from the conscious world.

It was unknown how long you remained there, but you awoke when you felt your body shaking. You opened your eyes again, blinking a few times to shake off the drowsiness. Ah, the skies were dyed with shades of orange and blue. Sun set, your brain supplemented.

Then, a tuff of reddish-orange hair entered your vision, followed by a grinning face. "You're awake," Judging by the way you can see even the pores on his skin clearly, he was probably squatting while his body hunched over you, and at an uncomfortably close distance.

You remained still, making no movements in response to his sudden appearance. You were startled, but it just happened so suddenly you didn't even have time to react. When you fully comprehended the situation along with the shock, it was already too late to react at all. However, he interpreted your inaction differently, "Hah? You even lost the spirit to live?"

That's one hell of a misunderstanding, you thought to yourself. He seemed to have lost interest, pulling back from your face. You could see more of him now. Ginger-red hair, with a red mask attached on his head. A ruby crystal hangs from his earlobe, which against his fair skin, glints with a shade so similar to blood that you were reminded of a chevalier rose that grows in the midst of winter.

Originally, you didn't want to care, but when you look him in the eyes, it was like something had you in a vice grip. Those ocean blue eyes of him seemed to stir something deep inside you, and before you knew it, you had already gotten up into a sitting position. For some reason, his eyes remind you of Zhongli, for a reason you can't quite determine yet.

You stared at him, and even though he had every chance to break the eye contact, he didn't. He merely looked at you with an amused expression, gazing upon you as he awaits your reaction. The cogs in your brain started rotating, slowly at first, but the longer you stared at him, the faster they turned.

His eyes were ocean blue, the type of blue you see when you're out in the open sea when the clouds obscure the blazing sun just right. It was the same shade of blue that you see when you stared at the skies while you were lying down on the floor. The same shade of blue in which a field of glaze lilies brushes gently against your legs as you run through them, with petals that dances with the wind.

Yes, his eyes were ocean blue. The type of blue that calms and soothes the soul as you embraced it, the type of blue in which you would confide your deepest and darkest secrets in. Yet, it also bears resemblance to the shade of the lost civilization Enkanomiya. A deep, dark blue that's closer to black.

Something else lies within those eyes. A bottomless depth, in which even the strongest light can never reach. Even as the evening sun dyes him in a warm, golden hue, there's a darkness that's ever present even as a smile lightly shows itself on his lips. An abyss that beckons unknowing travelers to explore its depths, unaware it will be their undoing.

His eyes were different from his outspoken and friendly demeanor, they were cold, frigid like frosty hails in the harsh winters of Snezhnaya. You had never been there, but if all the authors that had written about the country were right, the coldness in his eyes would be the personification of Snezhnaya.

However, even then, those eyes of his are breathtaking all the same.

Like Noctilucous Jade in the dark, his eyes shines so brilliantly that one can't help but to reach out, in hopes they'll be the salvation that saves him from the darkness that plagues his eyes.

Suddenly, everything clicked together in place.

Ah, so that's why he reminded you of Zhongli.

While blue and amber couldn't be any more different, his eyes are similar to Zhongli's.

Both tell a tale, a tale of someone who has lived far too long, a tale of someone who has seen too many miseries in a lifetime.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He pulls you onto your feet, and your body effortlessly follows the pull of his arm. A fleeting thought passed your mind, he’s strong. The silk of his gloves feels smooth against your skin. It reminds you of Zhongli, even though the silky texture differs from velvet. Sorrow rears its head within you once more; but for now, you really appreciate the body warmth of another human being.

He drags you to somewhere with a firm grip of his hand on your wrist. You can tell he has a clear destination in mind judging by his decisive steps. Logic and reason tell you to shake his hand off and head home, that you shouldn’t let him bring you to an unknown place, yet like a puppet pulled by its puppeteer, you let him. Perhaps, even if it’s just for today, you wanted to stop thinking so much.

You zoned out, your feet automatically walked in whatever direction you feel him pull. Your brain faintly registered the passing sceneries, enough to tell you’re moving, but still unable to predict where exactly you’re going. You felt the pull stopped, and like it’s a signal, you snapped out of your trance. You paused, scanning your surroundings. Huh, he brought you to Liyue Harbour.

At this time, the sun had already set, leaving nightfall in its leave. The stars glitter in the night sky like countless tiny diamonds, when the only light source bright enough to illuminate your surroundings was the moon. Your ears can pick up the clash of the waves against the rocks and the quiet rocking of boat along with the waves. A familiar scenery, but with someone new and different by your side.

This serene moment was interrupted by an abrupt shout. “Here!” You looked towards the source, only to be greeted by the sight of an object getting larger and larger–– wait a minute, it’s actually coming towards you!!!! To say you panicked was an understatement, any passerby would immediately label your series of actions aimed towards trying to catch the object as some form of demonic possession.

When you do finally catch it, you released a sigh of relief. You were too caught up with the feel of the item against your hand to think of admonishing the culprit that was the cause of your mini-panic attack on the streets. You gave yourself a pat on the back for catching it without breaking it. A boisterous laughter filled the street, when you looked at him, the ginger was holding his stomach due to laughing too hard.

Your eyes narrowed and you could feel your eye twitching in anger. “Glad one of us can laugh at my expense,” you say sarcastically as you rolled your eyes. “Oh, no problem. It was the funniest thing I’ve seen since coming to Liyue.” For dramatic purpose, he even mimicked wiping off a tear from the corner of his eye. Your eye twitched even harder, and you swear you can feel a blood vessel or two in your blood stream burst.

You were speechless, so you examined the object which you painstakingly caught after spending more than half of your sweat and spirit. “A fishing rod?” You questioned, because you did not spend all that effort for a fishing rod. He nodded his head, “Yes, and it’s just so happened to be a full moon, perfect for night fishing!”, his eyes were bright as he pointed to the moon.

You paused, waiting for the anger to fill your body so you can do what needs to be done. Contrary to your expectations, you mysteriously felt a sense of calmness enveloping you. Instead of flaring up, you sat down beside him and copied his actions as he set things up for fishing. When it comes to hooking the worm through the fishhook, you grimaced at the slimy texture against your fingertips.

It didn’t take long before a fish took bite, and it took a lot of effort to reel your line back in. However, all come to naught when all that’s left was a single hook, no bait in sight, and no fish either. You looked towards him, and he was trying his best to not fall over from laughter as he stifled his giggles. You glanced back at your hook, how in teyvat did the fish get the worm and not get caught on the hook when you clearly used the hook to stab the worm?

Honestly, the end result came as no surprise to you. You peered down at your basket, only for it to be empty. There was nary a worm, much less any fishes, as if a supernova had occurred in your basket and vanquished all the fishes into oblivion. The man besides you, had 2 baskets overwhelmed with fishes, to the point some escaped from the basket and was hopping their way back into the sea.

Your eyes met his, and he smirked smugly at you. As an honorable citizen of Liyue, you respond childishness with reason and logic. Just kidding, you retaliated by swatting his arm. All he did was chuckled even more. This mystery man indeed gets on your nerves, but you must admit that if it wasn’t for him, you would have still been lying on the ground in some alleyway, wallowing in self-pity.

“Thank you, weird ginger-haired stranger,” you told him before you stood up. You didn’t leave immediately, instead you glanced at the moon once more, and for this once, you took your time. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him looking at you, seemingly contemplating something. Then, he tilts both the buckets towards the sea, releasing all the fish he had caught back to their homes.

“Call me Childe,” he said as he watched the fish swim away from the shoreline until they completely disappear from sight. “Childe,” You tried copying his pronunciation, with zero idea on how do you spell that. You waited, and he didn’t say anything. Okay, since he didn’t correct you, you must have the sound of his name right then. “Thanks for the company, Childe.” You nodded at him and left.

When you reached the doorsteps of your accommodation, you paused. You suddenly remembered something, you didn’t tell him your name… It completely and utterly slipped your mind. No matter, you shrugged. It wasn’t like you’ll see him again anyway.

You were wrong.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------

You began running into him at a frequency higher than the time you spent sleeping on your bed, and taking into account that you do in fact sleep every day, this alarmingly high rate is appalling.

Though you do admit you were familiar with the ginger man, to the point that he managed to wrangle your name from your lips regardless of the tight reins you had on yourself.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------

You didn't know why Childe had asked you to meet him at the bridge at this god forsaken hour. It's 4 am, and you wondered why you bothered humoring him. Though you can already see a few merchants buzzing about to set up their stalls, you remain insistent that it's too early. You could've been at home and sleeping.

“Hey!” He called your name out loud and his booming voice sounded through the streets, causing everyone to look at the both of you. You sighed, might as get used to it by now.

“Hello to you too, Childe,” you whispered, too tired to deal with him this early. He slaps you on your back, causing you to stumble and almost fall, which naturally lead you to glare at him “Lighten up, we got things to do!”

“Oh yeah,” you muttered before asking, “What exactly do we have to do?” He flashed the brightest grin you had ever seen, “Crab hunting,” You nodded before the words finally sink in, you stared at him as you repeated “..crab..hunting?” His grin did not falter, “Yup, crab hunting,”

You closed your eyes as you wondered what you have gotten yourself into.

You should've left him when you had the chance, you thought, yet here you are leaping towards a crab before it slips past your fingers and burrow itself in the sand.

You gave up, letting your body hit the sand without trying to soften your fall. Luckily, there wasn't any rocks or sharp objects. You sighed, this is why you have a desk job.

Suddenly, your sight turned dim, a shadow was charged over you. Turning your head slightly up, you see Childe bent over at the waist chuckling at you. “You look like a worm,”

You didn't even bother retorting with words, instead cupping a handful of wet sand to throw at his clothes. “Hey!” he laughed in protest, “not fair! I wasn’t ready!”

You quickly got up as he started scooping up wet sand to throw at you, he threatened you “Don't you move!”. In turn, you hollered, “Never! And you suck at aiming!” To finish him off, you stuck your tongue at him.

You had a strong start, but not even 10 minutes later, you were left panting on the ground again. Your clothes were stained all over with mud because while Childe has shitty aim, you have shitty stamina.

Both of you looked at each other before bursting out in laughter. You were terrible to look at, but he didn't get off easy either, the mud even stained his hair and face.

“How many more crabs we need again?” you questioned once you regained your bearings. “4 more,” you looked at him, and he looked at you. Damn it, he wasn't kidding.

Though thankfully, by a stroke of pure, sheer luck, you managed to catch 1 more crab, which makes a grand total of 2 crabs captured by you.

When you looked over to Childe's side, you saw 6 crabs in his basket. You decided you should just be proud of yourself and not boast in any way, shape, or form.

“Why do you want so many crabs anyway?” you looked at Childe as he tied the crabs' pinchers using strings. He grinned, “I'm gonna treat you to a feast,”

“.... with these crabs?” He nodded, “Exactly with these crabs,” All the effort may have been worth it, scratch that, not all, but most of the effort. Seafood was a luxury, and if he's treating you? You are indeed, going to have a feast.

On the way, he kept selling his cooking skills. Giving details how he honed his craft by learning to make 'dishes filled with love' for his family, and how you would definitely find his food delicious.

You didn't even mind when he says he was the one going to cook it. After all, he must be confident if he's offering, right? You paused, could you actually trust his cooking skills? Ultimately you shrugged it off, there's no point in doubting him now.

That was until you saw the dish served in front of you.

You had a million things to say, and none of them are nice, not even remotely. You glanced at him, ready to give him a piece of your mind.

However, the moment you looked at Childe's puppy eyes, the harsh words that were originally going to come out of your mouth stopped. You pursed your lips, contemplating on how to word it to not hurt his feelings.

“Is this... still alive?” you mutter as you poke at the tentacle at the very top. The fact that it trembled from the poke makes you die slightly inside. Dang, it still has its muscle memory.

You put down the chopsticks next to the dish, suddenly finding your originally ravenous stomach to be extremely quiet now.

“Dont be shy, comrade! Go ahead and dig in,” Even with Childe's cheerful voice ringing beside you, you can't possibly stomach this in any universe.

Where in the world did the octopus' tentacales and the reddish hue of the soup come from? In fact, why did it look like a kraken drowning in its own blood?

You blinked once more, trying to see if you were mistaken. Nope, it's gotten even worse. The Kraken seemed to be screaming now, though you can't hear physically, your soul felt its torment and suffering deeply.

Were you just not getting enough sleep, or did the hot sun cause you to hallucinate? You gazed up at the ceiling, pondering all your life's choices that had lead you to this exact moment.

“...How exactly did you.... make this?” You questioned, because you were extremely sure all you did was spend half of your lifespan trying to catch some crabs, and buying Calla Lilies and mint from a merchant.

How exactly did this abomination come about with such limited choice of ingredients? Perhaps Childe had a hidden talent for making something out of nothing, which is a talent that you desperately pray he should not have at this moment when you’re the guinea pig.

He smiles, though it comes out a little weak and weird in a way you can't quite pinpoint, “This is something I fished out of the sea, along with some products from my homeland on the side,”

Though that weirdness faded as quickly as it came, which makes you dismiss it as your imagination. Or is it really? It was pointless, you won’t breach this subject when you’re not even close to him.

“I assure you, it's delicious! My family are always scrambling for more when I cook,” You closed your eyes, they were probably scrambling for their lives instead.

Nevermind, you lived long enough. Bracing yourself, you took your first bite. You thought you would faint or at least choke from horrible and indescribable flavours, but none of that happen.

“It's... edible,” you muttered in surprise, as your mouth keep chewing. It's actually tasty, you realized. “Not bad, right?” He grinned as he sat down opposite you with his own bowl. “It'll taste even better since you worked for it,”

You stared at him, and ended up with the decision of keeping your mouth shut. The last thing you'll do is admit his cooking is delicious. It was necessary to avoid feeding his already enlarged ego.

Though the moment he held up the chopsticks and failed miserably, you flexed by clicking your chopsticks together multiple times in front of his face. Your Liyue ancestors would have denounced you for your chopsticks etiquette, in this case, the lack of it; but you were too gleeful on this victory over him. Like a crab, you continue to clink the chopsticks.

He put his chopsticks down, complaining, “It's because I'm new to Liyue, I never had any experience with chopsticks. Just give me some time and I'll be adept with them in no time!”

You simply nodded, “Yup, anything you say goes,” Though, you stand up and went to the cupboard immediately after, which cause Childe to look at you with a curious gaze.

Without saying anything, you place a spoon and a fork next to him before you went back to your seat. Specifically, a baby spoon and fork with cartoon images on them. You do have a normal set, but you choose this particular set just to piss him off.

Seeing his dumbfounded face was definitely worth all the effort you've exerted today. This debt is cleared, ginger man, you thought to yourself.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

As you walked along the shoreline of Yaoguang Shoal with Childe, you couldn’t help but reminisce of a past where you shared such walks with a different person. Not one with auburn hair and ocean blue eyes, but rather one with hazel locks and amber eyes. You smiled wistfully at your thoughts, regardless of your wishes, your mind will always recall him, a ghost of your past that you can’t quite get rid of, even when there is another person accompanying you.

“Come here!” Childe’s voice pulled you away from your trip down memory lane. Before you realized, he was distant from you and you chastised yourself for losing track of your surroundings. You hurried, lengthening your strides into a semi-jog before finally catching up to him. He was already sitting, upon your arrival, he patted the spot next to him. Thus, you sat down at where he motioned.

Both of you watched in silence as the sun slowly sets below the horizon, dyeing the skies and seas an orange-gold hue. You can never get tired of watching this, there was always something mythical about this phenomenon that leaves you mesmerized. “You know, back in Snezhnaya, we were too busy trying to keep moving and stay warm that we never really has the chance to stop and really take the time to watch the sun set.”

You watched him as he narrates his homeland in a gentle tone. His features now had a soft touch on them, losing the sharpness of a hunter. The frigid winter in his eyes has melted, revealing the first sprout of spring, with a gaze that contains affection. The golden hue of the sun gave him a warm glow, paints him with a ethereal beauty, highlighting the love he has for his family.

You stared at him, transfixed upon the radiance in his eyes, with a light so strong that it banished the dark and brightens the abyss within. His eyes curved into crescents, his lips formed a gentle smile. Ah, you realized, it wasn’t that no light can ever reach the bottom of the abyss, all it requires was the right person, or people.

All of the sudden, his hands reached out towards you, covering your ears. You wondered what was going through his head, but came up blank when he looks upon you with such soft eyes and smile. Then, you heard it, the longing calls of the ocean singing in your ears. He senses the epiphany in your eyes and grinned.

His hands moved away, and he revealed what was in the palm of his hand. A starconch, you observed. “Take this as a token of our friendship,” he smiled, pulling your hand and eveloping it with his own. You felt the press of the shell against your palm. “Now everytime you hear the ocean or see a starconch, you’ll think of me,” He smirked like he had gotten one over you.

You carefully etched his visage in your memories, soaking in the way he looked at this moment in time. His hair sways in the breeze, following its every motion. His smile that bares all his teeth, jubilant and proud. His countenance framed with the stray rays of sunlight. His ocean blue eyes that encompasses the beauty and divinity of the sea itself.

You weren’t ready to love someone else.

However, you can trust him.

For the first time in a while, you smiled.

Yeah, you can trust him.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

You started at Wangshu Inn situated at the top of the tree before you sighed. The elevator was currently used, and as a certified introvert, you knew you would use the stairs to avoid any chances of a conversation happening, even standing near strangers creeps you out.

You patted your legs, in hoping just like countless times before, they will not fail you now. Another deep breath in, you started your way up the stairs, one at a time. Luckily, you had plenty of time left before your appointment with Childe.

Normally, you wouldn't have come here. After all, it's too far away from Liyue city that coming here was really going out of your way. However, Childe was insistent on getting you to try out their latest dish, claiming it to be a once-in-a-century opportunity.

Halfway up the stairs, you were already panting. Looking at the third elevator to pass you since the start of your journey, you regretted succumbing to your social anxiety. Oh well, no can do. You were already halfway there, might as well finish it.

You sigh once more, actually, since there's no one around to judge you, you will just rest here for a while. Once more, you thank Sevens that you came here 1 hour early. At first, you thought you were too paranoid about being late, but in the end you did need all the extra time.

Speaking about Sevens, the thought of Zhongli once again popped up in your mind. “To think that he was Rex Lapis,” you muttered as you gaze vacantly at the surrounding scenery. You wonder the state he's in now, especially since it's been weeks since you last saw him.

Is he heartbroken over the way you just left? Or did he got over it and was secretly glad that you left him and spared him from the effort of breaking up with you? Maybe you were overestimating your significance to him, and he had already moved on.

You caught yourself thinking about him; on reflex, your hand immediately went to slap your cheek. Right, there's no point thinking about it too much, you told yourself. This is the best scenario for you and him. Although at this rate, you weren't sure if it wasn't just you trying to convince yourself that it was.

When you finally reached the top, you felt the tension melting from your shoulders. Finally, you released a sigh of relief. Surprisingly, you had around a quarter of an hour left before you were supposed to meet with Childe. You thought you were stuck on those staircases much longer from all the suffering and aching you felt.

Stepping in, you noticed that the proprietress seems to have been informed of your arrival. She motioned to a room, stating “Mr. Childe is waiting for you,” You paused, wondering how did she know you were supposed to be meeting with Childe.

Perhaps Childe has just given a very detailed explanation of you so she recognised you at first glance, so you shrugged it off. You smiled at her, your own form of greeting and thanks for her service. She nodded towards you, acknowledging your smile, in a way. Or was she smiling at the customer behing him? You paused, but decided it wasn't worth musing over it.

Thus, you made your way up the stairs to the private room. While you weren't sure what Childe had planned, you were sure your legs will be crying by the time you get home. When you got closer to the door, you realized it wasn't completely closed, instead it was left slightly ajar. You mused, was he implying that you could just come in?

You were about to knock, but then the sight that enters your eyes through the crack of the door froze you in your steps. You could see Childe was facing the door, the red shade of his hair certainly stood out. However, there's someone whose back was facing you.

You could never mistaken him for anyone else. Even if he was thrown into a sea of the masses, you can pin point him out before one could even blink. He was also someone who has been monopolizing your thoughts for years.

His back was hunched, his hand was halfway threaded through his brown locks and rested on his head, he seemed to be deeply gazing upon the cup of wine he had in his other hand. Signs that showed his not very well concealed frustration.

His throat was sore, his deep voice cracking as he iterates his thoughts and emotions, “I want to be there, I want to give them the best, but how could I when they no longer trust me?”

He had always been prim and proper with a posture as straight as a bamboo. He had always held himself with confidence and elegance, coming to him as natural as breathing air. He had almost been the epitome of manners, the prime example of an accomplished and cultured gentleman.

It was the first time you saw tears falling from his eyes. The first time you saw him revealed such weakness. The first time a splotch of stain appeared upon his profile. It was a side to him that you never got to know or understand.

He lets out a shaky breath, his voice trembling, barely steady as he asked “Tartaglia, tell me, what can I do when their gaze is devoid of the love I used to see? What can I do when all I can tell is that they want to leave me?”

All the sudden, you were reminded of bittersweet memories. The chuckles he gives off as he listens to your narrations. The warmth of his hand that calms you as he holds your hand during late night walks. The photos of stunning landscapes as he narrates his adventures. The steady beats of his heart luring you to sleep as you lay upon his chest during slumber. The little trinkets that filled your drawer from all the letters he had sent you.

Everything that he has shown and given you comes crashing all at once. Suddenly, you found yourself tearing up. How could you be so wrapped up in yourself that you disregarded all the times he had told and shown you he loves you in the little things he does?

You had always told him for you, actions mean louder than words. How could you be so selfish that you let your insecurities get the better of you, and render everything you and him had so painstakingly built together into nothing?

“Tartaglia, what did I do wrong?”

A moment of silence before he spoke once more.

“Am I not enough?”

You can't believe it took the love of your life to break down and become a mess for you to finally wake up and realize the truth. All your previous concerns were irrevalant and ridiculous. It didn't matter if he's a god, hell, it didn't matter if you weren't good enough.

All that matters is him, and if he feels you are enough, then who are you to go against his decree?

It was time you seek for his forgiveness, to kneel before him and confess your sins and how he was everything you ever needed and more. That he deserves the glow of the Sun to the tiniest sparkle in the universe, that he deserves so much more than you.

The part of you that's riddled with insecurities thinks, he loves you this much, and maybe, there was an unknown part of you that deserves all this love, that deserves to call him your own.

Your hand pushed against the door a little more, widening the crack just a little more.

Your lips parted slightly, about to call his name.

Then, you watched as Childe pull Zhongli into his embrace. You stood there in the crack of the door as you watched Zhongli didn't struggle away, but proceeded to cry in his arms. Perhaps this is for the best, you thought to yourself as your hand fell back to your side once more.

Someone like Tartaglia would certainly be better for Zhongli than you. It feels like someone had taken a sharp knife and gouge the flesh of your heart piece by piece. You couldn't bear it, so without turning back, you left.

You knew the problem had never been him, but you.

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

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