#international dates now!
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internalized biphobia is crazy "Maybe I'm just faking it, I really do like guys what if I'm straight" I dated a woman for three years. that's not "faking it for attention" behavior
#as much as I hate it when people act like a bi person is either gay or straight depending on their partner#and sexuality is a switch going from gay to straight at any given moment#that is exactly how i think of my own sexuality#dating a woman?#what if I'm a lesbian I really do love this girl#oops we broke up now I have a crush on a guy what will i do if it was all a phase and I'm straight???#peekaboo thought process#no object permanence#internalized homophobia
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offers you this for international asexuality day🫶
#started this yesterday and literally just found out it's ace day#so now the drawing is completely related to the date💪💪#sth#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#super sonic#super sonic 2#(? i think??#sonic frontiers#sonic frontiers the final horizon#international asexuality day#asexual#ace sonic#asexual sonic#aroace sonic#:3#cacturniart
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people whose parents let them make mistakes when they make a mistake as an adult: thats not good but i will do better next time
women whose parents scolded and abused them for even small mistakes when they make a mistake as an adult:
#yes this is#personal#im on hour three of a mental breakdown because#i had a typical adhd slip#i set up this beautiful excel document and serial letter with array formulas and optional serial fields and shit#only to forget the fucking DATE#on an INVITATION#to important international people#and now the colleague i tried to impress thinks im useless and incompetent#i fucking hate myself so much why does this keep happening#i try to eliminate and work around potential roots of mistakes#but nothing protects me from just overlooking and forgetting shit#fuck
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Writing Will and his ex-girlfriend blurbs just to build their lore and everything for my Dad Will fic and I am getting emotionally attached to my own darn character. Curses.
(She uhhh… may or may not resemble a certain other character appearance-wise)
Will: mom I know I KNOW I’ve never talked about girls before, but I like girls now- here’s my girlfriend, we’re in lo- we like each other a lot, she’s pretty, look, mom, see, I like girls and I have a girlfriend :D
Joyce, staring at the black haired, brown eyed, freckled girl standing in her kitchen: …okay sweetheart, whatever makes you happy
#stranger things#will byers#byler#will is very much gay#in a similar fashion to mike dating el he uhhh tried to date a girl#didn’t go well#but she’s a sweetheart and I love her#dad will#winnie byers#joyce is the most supportive ride or die mom I stand on that hill#will byers is not immune to the comphet sorry#boy has internalized homophobia out the wazoo I mean look at his father#look at the shit the town says about him#look me in the eyes and tell me if he got the chance to try to be ‘normal’ he wouldn’t jump at it#especially in a timeline where he fell out of contact with his friends after THAT summer#where they did nothing but tell him how he needed to grow up#yeah I’ll shut up now sorry
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do u think either charles or erik had trouble coming to terms with their love for one another?? like religious guilt, internalized homophobia, etc.
Many such cases really … not hard to imagine them dealin with that …
#snap chats#erik might depend tho. depends on when he realizes hes in love with charles#before going Full Magneto i can imagine SOME internalized guilt but post prob not#under the whole ‘why be ashamed of what i am in ANY regard’ and all that#charles def probably has a worse time dealing with feelings of guilt#tho thats just charles in general being in love with someone i fear fjOWDJAKS#i cant imagine gender has anything to do with it tho. just charles Being Charles#hang on im sitting here thinking about it now#i think charles and erik wouldnt DOUBT the love they have for each other just- again depending on what era of erik this is- may be hesitant#magneto erik reads more as Bitterly in love with charles do you know what i mean#like ‘i love you and its painful i love you because of how incompatible we are now’ type shit#charles got that tired divorced-but-still-in-love dad energy about him towards magneto#fuck i was supposed to talk about their First Feelings Of Love im so off topic djOAZJSJ#my brain refuses to think of them younger than their thirties im so sorry let me try again#yeah no i could see them both accept the fact they have feelinfs about each other but for one reason or another not act on it#esp if they were with gab at the time. Oops. its kinda awkward now#in THAT RESPECT THEN i can see charles feeling conflicted and a little guilty#ditto on eriks part if he acknowledges charles’ feelings for gab#but without gab in the picture? i could see charles making a move and not being so ashamed of himself#maybe. after some time together i do see charles making the first move#would erik reciprocate and admit his feelings in that moment ? maybe not. give him like. a day or two tho diOEDJSJ#i typed all that bullshit for nothing sorry i put the answer at rhe very bottom we know how i am at this point#see now i just imagine charles talking to erik about accepting his queerness and erik getting snooty#like No Erik Im Not Saying This So You’ll Date Me I’m Saying This So You Love Yourself or something to that tune#and charles is truthful in that hes all about helping others accept themselves. and thats exactly why erik falls harder in love with him 😔#and then they make out sloppy style the end
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asking serbian eurosport once again when are they planning to hire me as their fogure skating commentator because the current one doesn't know shit.
#she if someone falls in the program: ouch what have they done just now 🫤🫤#she is someone goes clean: ohh what have they just done ☺️☺️#not to mention out of date info on coaching changes etc.#i would do sooo well#i would shut up during the performance unless something literally insane just happened on the ice#and then during the replays i would be explaining shit in sooo much detail and also providing tea that's available by#a) me a national judge going to the isu seminars b) a friend of mine just passed the international tests in september#you won't be seeing him on the panels tho my country sensd like one junior per season to one jgp event#but i'd have soo many interesting things to say to the viewers i'd make it into the most watched sport on our tv#figure skating
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it’s 5:20am i cannot sleep i am consumed with thoughts and yearning for keigo takami i need to be euthanized
#literally these days all i do is Lay Awake and Wither Away#the nightmares have been exponentially worse lately#fun fact ur local fanfic author has Problems.#idk man there’s just something haunting about having reoccurring nightmares about your ex and every time u close ur eyes it’s throwing u#right back into the pit of hell that was that relationship#it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine i just no Longer Trust People#anyways this is a vent post and it is so cringe and lame#i just have never Hated an ex before so there’s a lot i’m coming to terms with especially considering how Fake he is#idek man IDEK!!!!!1!!1!1!#i rlly sacrificed so much to love and live with him and he said ‘mmmmmm now i have u in my grip’#whatever it’s fine he’s stinky and honestly the fact honey (the blog intern and my cat) doesn’t miss him AT ALL says so much#seriously she is so nonplussed by his absence it’s wild#eating fine sleeping fine shitting fine#SAYS A LOT. SAAAAYS A LOT. whatever whatever whatever#i would hit that emotionally immature man with my car if given the chance and yknow what. nick if ur reading this you’re one of the#most.#emotionally immature people ive ever had the misfortune of knowing.#what a shame you lost me#the best thing and healthiest thing that ever happened to you#because of your own actions and your own inability to take accountability for your mental health and actions#tell your mom i say hi#and tell your exes im sorry i ever doubted any of them x_x#WEEEEE what a vent#listen to big sister birbs when she says don’t date men who have something horrific to say about each of their exes
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actually what i think would be cool is an ace attorney game where each case is its own individual mini-spinoff. first case is kristoph gavin: ace attorney a few years pre-aa4 with apollo as kristoph’s college intern and clay as the defendant. we get to learn more about clay and apollo’s friendship alongside apollo+kristoph and krisnix dynamic. we’re forced to forge evidence because there isnt anything concrete proving clay’s innocence, giving us an inside glimpse into a corrupt attorney’s life. second case is simon blackquill investigations pre-UR1 where on someone else dies at the space center and metis is accused. we see more of athena/simon/aura/metis family dynamic as well as athena and juniper’s friendship as children. manfred von karma investigations (kid miles and vk family dynamic) or lana skye investigations (pre-SL9 ema mia gant jake angel neil) or mia fey ace attorney (maya lana pearl morgan diego maybe even dahlia and iris) or robin newman ace attorney/hugh o’conner investigations (self-indulgent but would be so cute)….the possibilities are endless……just fun little ways to expand on pre-existing character dynamics that might not have been discussed too much without necessarily making an entire game revolving around those characters
#i dont say fran investigations or athena ace attorney bc those could more easily be their own games#anyways more thoughts. mia ace attorney could be a murder at kurai’n village#shes college student interning at rossberg’s so she investigates with diego while getting to hang out with her family#not sure who prosecutor could be but lana as their co-counsel#getting to see how she interacts with morgan and pearl#kristoph aa speaks for itself i need it soooooo bad#i need clay real. and also more krisnix content#ALSO SELFINDULGENT BUT IF AT THE END OF MIA AA SHE ASKS DIEGO OUT ON A DATE. HELPME😭😭😭😭😭#hes like a little more nervous than usual and shes like Hmm….it seems like Mr. Armando wants to ask me something….#AND THEN LETS SAY THERE WERE FLOWERS UNDER WVIDENCE OR SOEMTHING. U CAN PRESENT THEM AND ASK HIM OUT#OHMYGODDDDDDDDD😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#also selfindulgent sorry but id kill for miego interaction#ok im done now sorry#ace attorney#gyakuten saiban#myne
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This reminds me, two weeks left until I'm going to my first concert of the year!!!!! 🥳🥳🥳
#yep franz ferdinand time is very soon. i'm excited. i'm going in like completely spoiler free btw#no idea what to expect other than i know it's going to be good. i hope they play michael#this is going to be such a concerty year it's quite incredible. something 2022 me wouldn't have even dared dream about#can you believe it. 3 sparks shows and 2 other shows on the way#might also go to another show in december so that would mean 6 shows in total this year#all that's needed now is another tmbg show to add to these that'd make it all perfect#and it's been less than a YEAR since i went to my first concert by the way. yeah march 2024. a good time#and we somehow didn't realise at first that the date it'd fall on was easter saturday?? holy saturday or whatever you call it#so yep that was how we celebrated easter last year. at a judas priest concert (my dad is a big fan of metal lol.) it was a great time#i remember that when we were driving back home and talking about the concert my parents were talking abt the vocalist#like 'wow this guy is 70-something and he still has the energy to sing AND walk all around the stage'#to which i responded with 'if you all saw what russell mael gets up to during sparks shows you would lose your minds'#so that will happen soon enough also. yay. time to internalize this. literally only 4 months left already WHAT#goosepost
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i think the last 5 days of my life have been a hallucination
#1. brother hospitalized with no discharge date in sight#2. wiplash of international travel -> dogsitting -> hosting guests at my house#3. at work i’ve got people pushing promotions and all these job opportunities at me#4. got a call from the lady i dogsat for apparently the amazon driver ran over my work phone that i dropped in her driveway yesterday???????#(meaning it sat outside during the rain all last night?? and it still works LMFAO)#5. best friend called in tears bc she made a mistake and is now getting run out of her rec volleyball league for it which is her whole#community#6. speaking of community fighting my ass off to keep my neighborhood elementary school from being voted to close down tomorrow?????#7. speaking of schools one of my students had a med emergency and we had to get her in an ambulance last thursday and i had to#manage the rest of the kids to keep them from freaking out and they’re still all freaked from it#LITERALLY CAN WE ALL JUST LIKE CHILL#i need to clean my house before my friend comes to stay with me tomorrow wtf#oh and 2 days after she leaves i fly home for thanksgiving 🙃 god knows what that’ll be like
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that moment when you are googling images of various types of women as character inspiration for your next story and you see a photo and you're like "oh!! yes, that's a good one!" and then you click on the source so you can save it and then you find yourself on some kind of mongolian mail-order bride site and you're like
jesus god what did I just teach the algorithm
#writing liveblogging#it happened first with a thai mail-order bride site#and I was like 'that was WILD anyway' and kept looking at more photos and LITERALLY LIKE TEN MINUTES LATER#it happened with a mongolian site now#google why do you have so many images from these sites in your search results#I was using gentler language with the thai one because it was kind of using the language of a dating site but was clearly...#brokering international marriages for huge sums...#but the mongolian one literally just goes 'yeah do you want a mongolian mail-order bride because we got em'
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bunch of (mainly yosuke&yu) doodles because somehow when my brain wasn’t drawing the same oc over and over, it was obsessing over a p4 college au
#sorry guys for the lack of posts. but i have a solid argument: school.#i’ll try to post a bit more doodles because that’s all i can do for now#or maybe i’ll work on my writing a bit. anyways.#delislittledrawings#persona 4 fanart#persona 4 golden#persona 4#p4#yosuke hanamura#yu narukami#back on the drawings. my silly brain decided it would be SO much better if yosuke and yu just decided to date when they would be in college#like. that internal homophobia thing yosuke has going on isn’t going to disappear in a day. c’mon. let him discover himself with time.
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2022 / 2024 (+takahara getting eepy)
hi they're getting married in 2 months btw :) if that matters to you
#i just realized the scrunchies were there since 2022.......aw#anyway yeah! it's happening now. in 2 months i mean hddjkfsdgh#i probably won't do a wedding server but i want to celebrate a bit....... with some of the moots....... if they want..........#mine#it's too easy to hate you and hard to love.#ari.art#arifer is so funny they fwb-ed then fake dated for 1 week then broke up for 3 months then fwb-ed again then real dated for 1 week then got#into a qpr (ft a brief period of scattered polyamory) then traded internal organs then did a blood and flesh pact ritual then referred to#each other as spouses /nsrs for fun then bought rings THEN they get married 💀 their entire milestone journey summarized comedically is over#3 tags long guys
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#is this as important as the news I usually see in this meme? no#but i still think it's relevant#so im case you haven't heard: you can register for presale now#the eras tour#eras tour#international dates eras tour#taylor swift#supernatural#destiel
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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Can't wait for Gabriel and Beelzebub, who had been pretending blind, deaf and brain dead just to not deal with the fact that Aziraphale and Crowley are breaking all the rules by pinning and being in love with each other for six thousands years, ask azirowley in the first ten seconds after losing their memories: "oh, are you two in love and married"?
#gabriel looks at photos from their dates and keeps straight face as he tells Michael that it's normal while screaming internally#gabriel who looks at Aziraphale when he asks a permission to raise a child with his worst love nemesis and just says sure have my blessing#Beelzebub is so tired from listening love queen songs and Crowley's whinings about this ine bastard angel but he is the best hell worker#they knew before and they sure do know now#gabriel#Beelzebub#ineffable husbands#azirowley#good omens#gos2
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