#internally fell to my knees when I saw the pics

[emilbh]

gladiator 2 pedro pascal??????

[dianaburnwood]

HITMAN 3: First Impressions

This post is full of SPOILERS. Also, it is LONG, so.... yeah. Be prepared lol 

HITMAN 3. Also known as: Diana’s Game. 

Dear GOD I am in love. 

I’m going to do my best to make this coherent. But. I am still freaking out. And I have SO much more to explore!!!! This won’t be very in-depth because I played each map exactly once so far. There’s so much left to see, conversations to overhear, opportunities to exploit - but, I DO have some first impressions, oh hell yes. 

Menu: 

That menu music!!! I was not expecting that at all. It was a mix of choral and classical with previous themes intertwined, and it reminded me of Blood Money. Speaking of Blood Money, this game is Blood Money. 

Dubai: 

Very, very beautiful. Kinda thought Grey made it all about himself lol of course he wanted to say “in your face�� to the partners, but it was like 47 was just there to pull the trigger, like he’d not been hurt by them too. But, I really liked it. Trapping them in a room and watching them freak while Grey watched me kill them?? Helloo??? Popping off HARD from the start and I love it.

So - here’s the thing. I don’t get the timing. Diana tells them then that Edwards escaped. Did he escape just before the boys got to Dubai? Or were they unavailable to reach until then? It seems that the message Grey got at the end of HAVEN was after Olivia hacked the HAVEN servers, and then the boys were out of reach so after Diana discovered Edwards was gone, she couldn’t tell them until Dubai? And it was shown to us in a different order to leave us hanging? I dunno. Maybe? It seems weird. 

THE CUTSCENE here omg - once again establishing that 47 and Diana are ride or die. “Diana will make it right, she always does” - BABE. BABE. SWEET BOY. His little face when Grey doesn’t trust Diana. OMGGG.

Dartmoor: 

I went the murder mystery route, of course. I figured it was Emma from her conversation with her husband, but I got all the clues after just to be sure. Can’t believe Carlisle just handed 47 the file on Edwards and then went out alone on the balcony like I wasn’t gonna kill her??? Bitch????? do you forget who i am?????? Anyway, the murder mystery was SO much fun, but I can’t wait to infiltrate this manor in other ways. Lots of Beldingford vibes here.

THE CUTSCENE bdsfgafhlsjfah WAHT????? Ok so HOW did Edwards know where they were? And - ok, so it made for an amazing scene, but Grey is a badass. He is a mercenary genius that duped the ICA and brought Providence to its knees. How did he get himself surrounded in the woods by CICADA? But he did, and it was beautiful, and he literally only shot himself to save 47, and the LOOK in 47′s eyes on his balaclava face - I just bfjKSFasad. I can’t believe he died so early tho. I was very sure he’d die somehow, but SO early. WOW. 

Berlin:

fucking hell. Berlin. fuck. fucckkkk. 

I wanna shout out to Mini (not gonna tag you in case you’re avoiding spoilers) but hot damn girl if you’re reading you were BANG ON about 47 wearing Grey’s coat. I really didn’t think it was his. It was. It is such a beautiful way for 47 to express his emotions about this death without actually saying anything. Omg. It was perfection. I’m crying thinking about it.

BERLIN was where this game really upped its... game. Like WOW. 5 targets, and it’s the ICA. Clearly Edwards went to the ICA board at this stage and was like uhhhh so you need to take these ppl out. HOWEVER I am amazed that the ICA is like “oh, ok”. DO you not remember what happened in SOUTH DAKOTA. 

But going after the ICA is a fucking trip and I love it. I love how 47 says each agent’s name to himself. I love how he listens in and the team handler realises it. I love how she pulls the rest of her team out once you get 5. I love that the ICA agents use disguises too!!! This is truly APEX PREDATOR and I love that they named it that. Y’all think you have the balls to go up against 47??? bitch?????

But the fact that you have to find the targets and none of them are marked is so fantastic. I found 6, but I have no idea how many are actually available - but I’m gonna find out!!! The club is HUGE as well, and lots of throwbacks to Contracts, especially with the biker gang. Amazing. Amazing level. I’m so excited to replay it. 

Also they really addressed the elephant in the room with the ICA agents describing 47 as a caucasian male, bald, average height and ppl being like uh that’s every man here, and then he said yeah but he’s got this big tattoo lmao 

Chongqing

ok this is where I started to think this game was my fanfiction. Inside the ICA? Showing off how truly international it is, and high tech. Hidden in plain sight. Ready to dismantle in 12 hours if needed. SO perfect. This lore builds on Absolution and Blood Money ICA lore in wonderful ways. 

Also, I don’t know why the IOI and DK of the logo looked different in the trailer, they must have been just hard to make out. Cos in the game, the ICA logo is the same as all previous games. 

Also, analysts do client vetting? Intrigue. Always assumed that was part of the handlers’ job. I take it all back Diana, you have never done anything wrong in your life, ever 

I killed Royce by firing the ppl she recommended so she’d get trapped in the data core cleaning. I killed Hush (what a name I love it) as his patient. 

Working with Olivia is really fun. I missed Diana, but Olivia brought a whole fresh perspective. I also really like how neither Grey nor Olivia are as good as Diana - they both fucked up while guiding 47 at least once. 

47 saying “...I will leave you to prepare” to Olivia, I yelled fdagsfa

Also I love how 47 decided to expose the ICA exactly like Diana did in Absolution. Those two. One of a kind. My heart. And his desire to protect her. I love that the files showed their start together. Olivia saying “I can see why you...” and then she stopped herself. We all KNOW what she was gonna say. 

AND AND AND AND 

the cutscene - I screamed

“47 has one weakness. Me.” 

I swear to fucking GOD, IO has seen into my soul. I’ve said all along that Diana is 47′s weakness, and he is hers. But to hear it said, aloud, by my girl? WHAT???!!!!!

Mendoza

Ok. OK. OKKKKKK. OK. I can’t even write about this one. This was where I was pretty sure I was hallucinating the entire level. This is my Diana and 47 dreams come true. This is insane. This is EVERYTHING.

So we have OUR MOMENT IN THE SUN. She puts her HAND on HIS HAND and he looks in fucking wonderment at it. ahugarhiewEG;FEJGHEFlejlhsgfes;gjrsgt. I can’t. I can barely get through writing about this. 

Diana - the dress, the Jolie thigh slit, the jewellery, the hair (they finally fixed her fucking hair), SASS. “I have tango fever” omg. 

How do these ppl not have a pic of 47 by now lol 

I followed Diana and Vidal around cos I was entranced by my girl. Diana was fucking amazing each time. So much sass. Little did I know I interrupted them enough times for Vidal to say “ok son let’s talk”. I saw the tango and I was like omg imagine if I could dance with Diana. 

well.

WELL. 

Anyway, got to kill Vidal via her own setup for me, and that was amazing. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I snuck into the house to kill Yates, and overheard him calling Edwards’ voicemail. Also, it is April 2021?? So, yeah. My previous dates were way wrong lol. 

And then, ALL MY DREAMS CAME TRUE. Diana and 47 fucking dancing the tango? I was pissed that I was in a security guard outfit, next time I play he will be in his tuxedo baby. 

Diana’s comments to 47 when he’s in disguise tho, I was freaking. As security “you look like a true professional. I feel so much safer with you gentlemen around” aaahhhh

UH HE FELL TO THE GROUND COS OF POISON fngjfagfljgnsdfa

I am so glad I was right about my baby girl tho. She even told him “you didn’t have a choice” about her parents. Good. I’m so glad I was right about that. But omg it broke my heart to have 47 so, SO, SOOO sure of Diana all along, defending her to Grey and Olivia, knowing, KNOWING that she was on his side, and then, he eventually started to doubt it. 

I was screaming at my screen - this is BLOOD MONEY! SHe is doing what she did in BLOOD MONEY!!!!

But, for a second, 47 wasn’t sure anymore. And Diana played her part well. 

Carpathian Mountains

Ok, what I love most about Contracts was how it gave us an insight into 47′s psyche, and this game upped that tenfold. Him seeing all his targets surround him? Him imagining Diana and the Constant dancing together? Him imagining her say terrible things about him, things he’s thought about himself deep down, always, omg, but he finally snapped out of it. Ironic that thinking about Grey snapped him out of it, when in life Grey had not trusted Diana. But 47 came to the realisation on his own. Diana would never betray him. 

opening that door and finding out you’re on a fucking train?????? I screamed. 

I am a bit disappointed that it turned out Romania wasn’t significant, they just happened to be passing through. But omg the fact that you are “subject 47″ again. I freaked. This is 47′s worst nightmare. 

I love that you have a free pass to kill everyone in this level. I did it in stealth anyway, cos it felt wonderfully tense to sneak through that train. But wow. This is another BIG risk that IO took. The train was straight out of Uncharted, and crafting a silencer for your pistol??? Hello The Last of Us????? But I don’t care. They used those elements super well. 

I think some people will be angry at this game because parts of it (especially the last level) were a departure from how HITMAN and HITMAN 2 worked. But I love it. I love that they took risks to tell the story they wanted to tell, and those risks paid off. 

47′s undying loyalty to Diana, omg. Telling Edwards bye bitch, I’ll never forget who I am again, and Diana thinks you suck. <3<3<3<3<3

ENDING

OH MY GOD. ONE YEAR LATER????? 47 obviously took some time off cos he fucking needed a break. But he’s back, baby. Ending on “it’s good to be back” was wonderful. The game ended where the 2015 trailer for HITMAN started, and I’m crying. He’s ready to continue with Diana, and not because it’s what he was made to do, not because he doesn’t know what else to do, but finally, because he CHOOSES to do that. 

But one year later? What does that mean? Has Diana rebuilt the ICA like in Blood Money, or will she and 47 work together without anyone else? They’ll need the infrastructure that an organisation like the ICA has though. Diana said she would dismantle Providence from the top down once Edwards was gone, but how? Does that mean dismantling what’s left of the ICA? They were one and the same by the end of the game. All that didn’t just disappear. I’m left with so many questions. 

I was disappointed Diana wasn’t in the cabin when 47 got there. And I wonder why she wasn’t. She knew he was coming, but they are clearly still on good terms. Maybe she wasn’t sure what to expect. But does that mean they hadn’t spoken in a year since??? But she didn’t sound surprised to hear him, and he had coordinates that he was following, so I think they arranged to meet. But her phone was in there when he arrived, and she wasn’t. Maybe he was tracking her phone? Did she come back there to him after????? 

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT 

the game 

ended

with 47

smiling 

And for that I will be forever grateful. 

Ok bye, I need to play it again. RIP work tomorrow lol 

[ladywinchester1967]

Une Seule Nuit

Translation: One Night Only

Pairing: Dean Winchester X OFC

Warnings: Smut. This is all smut, no plot. Any mistakes belong to me.

A/N: I KNOW!! It’s been a while!! But I finally got an idea that made sense and I really wanted to write!! Hope you guys enjoy!

**Disclaimer: All pics are not mine, I found them on Pinterest**

His slightly chapped lips gently caressed my skin as I leaned closer into him. He planted gentle kisses on my neck and collar bone, working his way up to my ear where he gave the lobe a playful bite. I shuttered in his arms, arching further into him.

This wasn’t something I normally did, making out with a stranger in a bar, but he was just so handsome! The sparks that flew between us as we played pool and darts were palpable.

I gripped his shirt tighter as he bit the shell of my ear and I sighed. He kissed my jaw line and then finally my lips; the sensation of his full lips against mine making my head spin.

I slid my hands up his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck as his hands gripped my hips.

Someone cleared their throat, breaking the spell, and we both looked to see who had interrupted us.

The other guy he’d walked in with, who was just as attractive, stood there with a perturbed look on his face.

“Dean,” the guy said “we have an early start tomorrow.”

“Sorry Sammy, little busy right now.” The guy named Dean said with a mischievous grin on his face.

Sam’s face grew even more perturbed and Dean banded him a set of keys.

“Baby is all yours for the night.” Dean said and I watched as Sam rolled his eyes, taking the keys and leaving. “Don’t wait up!” Dean called after Sam, who didn’t turn back around as he left the bar. “Sorry about that sweetheart.” Dean said, turning his attention back to me, a sexy grin on his face.

“Want to take this somewhere a little more private?” I asked, my fingers sliding through his dark hair “Say, back to my place?”

His sexy grin grew even wider and he nodded and released me from his grip so he could grab his jacket.

»»————-　➴　————-««

I drove us back to my apartment, on the way there, Dean couldn’t seem to keep his hands off me. He rode in the passenger seat with one hand on my thigh, his fingers caressing the sensitive skin of my inner thigh, close to the hem of my shorts.

Shivers ran up my spine as we hit a red light, the last one before we made it to my place, when he leaned over, pushed my hair off to the side and started kissing my neck again. I squirmed, eager to return his kisses, but I had to keep my eyes on the road.

“Fuck.” I moaned as heat radiated from my core and my back arched.

The light changed to green and I sped toward my apartment.

»»————-　➴　————-««

Once we arrived, we got out of the car and I took him by the hand up to my building. We climbed the stairs, finally reaching my floor when I had to unlock the door. He started kissing my neck again as I fumbled with my keys, his hands sliding up the front of my body and squeezing my breasts.

“Keep that up and we won’t make it inside.” I warned him as the keys jingled in my hands.

“You wanna put on a show for your neighbors?” He asked as I felt him grin against my skin.

“That’ll give Ms. Wilson next door a heart attack.” I told him and we both laughed.

Mercifully, I got the keys into the locks and let us in.

I turned on the light, illuminating my dark apartment and I tossed my keys and purse onto the kitchen table. I locked the door behind us and turned to face him.

He tucked my hair behind my ear, an easy smile on his face.

“You’re beautiful you know that?” He asked, burying his hands into my hair.

I grinned, a blush rising on my cheeks.

“Thank you.” I told him and pulled him in for a kiss, which he happily returned.

Before I knew it, he was picking me up, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“Which way?” He asked between kisses.

“Straight back.” I told him and he carried me back to my bedroom, kicking the door shut with his foot. He took me over to the bed and laid me down, then crawled on top of me, his hands gliding up my stomach and chest. He slid his hands down again to the hem of my shirt and gently peeled it off of me. I kicked my shoes off and pulled him close by the collar of his shirt.

I eagerly kissed him as he placed his hands on either side of my head, our kisses growing hotter and heavier. When we came up for air, he sat up on his knees, taking his shirt off and flinging it aside as I sat up, turning on the bedside lamp. If I was going to have sex with a man this hot, I wanted to see everything. I unhooked my bra and it joined his shirt on the floor. His eyes filled with lust as he took me in, biting his full lower lip. He had broad shoulders, a defined chest with a tattoo on his pec; a star with what looked like sun rays around it and taught stomach.

I reached for his belt and he nodded. I unbuckled it and popped the button on his jeans, the zipper coming down after that. I stroked his thick, long cock through his dark boxer briefs and his head fell back as he moaned. I plunged my hand into his underwear, taking his length in my hand and stroking him. I looked up and his hands slid up my arms and to my shoulders as he looked down at me, still biting his lower lip.

“Like this?” I asked, a tone of innocence in my voice and he nodded.

“Just like that.” He told me.

I pulled down his pants and underwear a little more, letting his cock spring free; the sight of it making my mouth water. He every inch of him seemed to be perfect. I took the head into my mouth, slowly taking him into my mouth. He moaned, his head falling back between his shoulders as he gathered my hair in his hands, making a ponytail.

I bobbed my head up and down, sucking on him, my tongue swirling around the head. I used my other hand to cup his balls, gently massaging them as he moaned louder.

“Like that!” He cried as I internally grinned.

I sucked on him harder as I used my other hand to take what my mouth couldn’t, gently twisting his shaft and tugging on his balls. He moaned and gripped my hair harder as I looked up at him again.

He was looking down at me, his mouth slightly open and his green eyes nearly black with lust.

I sucked on him hard and he said

“You keep that up and I’m gonna come in your mouth.”

I popped off of his cock and continued to stroke him and play with his balls.

“Like that would be the worst thing in the world.” I said with a wink.

He looked shocked as I licked the underside of his shaft and then took him back into my mouth, bobbing my head up and down. I hollowed out my cheeks and sucked hard, tugging on his balls as he cried out.

“Fuck!” He yelled as he tugged hard on my hair.

I moaned and he did it again, tugging a little harder this time. I cried out as I dragged my tongue up his length. I bobbed my head up and down faster as he moaned again.

“Just like that,” he said “don’t stop.”

I rolled his balls in my hand as I bobbed my head, sucking on him.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna come.” He warned and I nodded. I twisted his shaft again, sucking hard on him until he let go; his salty, slightly tangy come filled my mouth and I swallowed it down. I let him go and looked up at him again. His chest and neck were flushed pink as he caught his breath, smoothing my hair out of my eyes.

“Your turn.” He said and kissed me.

I nodded and laid back, unbuttoning my shorts and taking them off along with my panties and throwing them to the floor.

Dean got off the bed; discarding his boots, pants and underwear and then climbed back on to the bed with me, getting on top of me again. He gently kissed my forehead, eyelids, tips of my nose and cheeks before making his way to my lips.

The heat from earlier returned between my legs as I arched into him. He gave my lower lip a playful nibble as I buried my hands in his hair. He kissed my chin, hollow of my throat and chest. He kissed over to my right breast, taking the nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue around the bud.

I moaned as he sucked and lapped at my nipple, the sensation shooting straight between my legs. He came off my nipple with a wet pop and then did the same thing to my left nipple. I moaned and twisted under him; I could feel myself dripping on to the sheets below me as he kissed down my belly and to my hips where he opened up my legs to accommodate his broad shoulders.

He looked up at me and I nodded. He ducked his head down, his tongue gently flicking over my clit as he used his fingers to open me up.

I moaned, louder this time as he licked through my folds. His fingers released me and he wrapped his long arms around my thighs, holding them open as he opened his mouth and devoured me like I was his last meal.

I gripped his hair hard; the thick, dark locks feeling like silk between my fingers as I rocked my hips into his face.

“Oh Dean, Dean!” I moaned as I felt his tongue push inside me and swirling. His hand slid from my thigh, two of his fingers finding my clit and working it in wide circles.

“Fuck, oh fuck!” I cried, dizzy with pleasure as my hips rocked harder. He sucked harder, his fingers working in tight circles now as he flattened his tongue and licked up my slit.

“Like that?” He asked.

“Yes,” I moaned “don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

He bent his head back down, kissing my inner thighs and then lapping his tongue just inside me. I cried out louder and he switched his tongue and fingers. His fingers pushed inside me while his tongue lapped over my clit, making me even more dizzy. He pushed and pulled his fingers in and out of me, while I squirmed under him, still rocking my hips into his touch. He hooked his fingers, making the “come here” motion and I saw stars.

“I’m gonna, oh god!” I cried and a chill ran up my spine as I twisted again and let go, coating his fingers and mouth.

He popped his head up, licking his lips and fingers clean as I caught my breath. Dean crawled up my body, pressing kisses into my skin as he made his way up to my neck.

“Got another one of those for me?” He asked, his ridged cock hot and heavy against my inner thigh.

“Hell yeah.” I told him as we kissed, I could taste a hint of myself on his mouth. That mixed with his own unique taste made him even more intoxicating.

“I’m clean but are you good?” He asked and I nodded.

“I’m clean and I have an IUD.” I told him.

“Awesome.” He said as we kissed again. I felt him reach between us and then the blunt head of his cock slide through my folds. I moaned against his mouth as he slid inside me; my walls eagerly stretched to take him. He moaned against my mouth as he buried himself inside me.

“Fuck you’re tight,” he said, bracing his hands on both sides of my head “you okay?”

I nodded, feeling fuller than I ever had, and I slid my hands up his back and to his strong shoulders.

“Move.” I commanded and he nodded. He started slow, gently pushing and pulling as I pulsed around him. The more he moved, the wetter I got. We kissed and moaned into each other’s mouths as he really started to move. I hooked my leg around his waist and rolled us over so that I was on top of him. He gripped my hips as I rocked into him and he bit his lip.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned “that feels good.”

I braced my hands on his chest and rocked a little harder into him. He dug his fingertips into my hips harder and moved me back and forth faster.

“Like that?” I asked as I complied.

“Yes, oh god!” He moaned.

Without warning, he sat up and I planted my feet on the bed, as he met me thrust for thrust. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight against him, my breasts pushing into his chest.

“Fuck, oh like that!” I moaned as I wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands in his hair once again. His mouth over took mine, his tongue sliding between my lips. I swirled my tongue with his and sucking on it as he cried out. When the kiss broke, he held my face in his hands and looked deep into my eyes.

I’d had a couple of one night stands, but nothing like this. The passion in his eyes was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I gave him a small grin and kissed him hard. He returned the kiss with just as much passion as his hands roamed my body, caressing every curve and leaving goosebumps in his wake. He worked his way between us, finding my clit again, and working it in hard, tight circles.

“Yes,” I moaned “just like that.”

“You wanna come for me?” He asked.

“Yes!” I choked out, the sensations too much for me to handle.

“Come for me.” He said and I arched my back, coming hard. He captured my mouth with his as I cried out against him. I’d barely come down from the high before he rolled me onto all fours and got behind. He pushed back inside me and I cried out loudly,

“OH FUCK!” as he struck my sweet spot.

His hips crashed into my back side, the sound of flesh against flesh bouncing off the walls.

“God!” I yelled “Just like that, oh god, don’t stop!”

He gripped my hips so hard, I was sure there would be bruises in the morning, but I didn’t care.

“Dean, Dean!” I cried and tightly gripped the sheets as he continued to pound into me, repeatedly hitting that spot deep inside me that made my toes curl.

“Like that?” He asked and I nodded “Tell me.” He added.

“Fuck, just like that!” I moaned and felt my next orgasm blooming.

“I’m gonna come,” he told me “fuck, I’m gonna come.”

“I’m gonna come too,” I warned “oh fuck!”

He struck true four more times and then we both let go, our cries and moans filling the room.

He pulled out and we both collapsed onto the bed below us, breathing like we’d run a marathon.

»»————-　➴　————-««

After a few moments, he crawled up the bed and lay beside me, tucking us both under the covers.

He pulled me into his arms, making me the little spoon as he kissed my temple.

“You good?” He asked.

With a stupid grin on my face, I rolled to face him and looked up at him.

“Better than good.” I told him “That was awesome.”

He returned the grin and kissed my forehead and then my lips. We laid there for a while, our hands roaming each other’s bodies, when I started to get tired. I yawned and he said

“It’s getting late, you want me to go?”

I shook my head.

“You wanna stay?” I asked through the yawn “I make one hell of a breakfast.”

“That right?” He asked and I nodded.

“Yep,” I said “and if you’re lucky, I’ll make you come again before I make it.”

“You got it sweetheart.” He said with a wink.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I really hope you guys enjoyed that! If you did, please leave me some kind feedback (it’s literally the fuel that keeps me going). If this is your first time here and you want to see more content from me, please consider hitting that follow button! All of my tag lists are open, so if you want to get on any of them, please let me know and I’ll add you.

See you guys for the next one!

​The Squad:

@waywardbaby​​​ @waywardnerd67​​​ @familybusinesswritingbro​​​ @ain-t-bovvered​​​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​​​ @unholyqu33n​​​ @dacleverfox​​​ @emoryhemsworth​​​ @bobasheebaby​​​ @myinconnelly1​​​ @mogaruke​​​ @imma-winchester-addict​​​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​​​ @animerose96​​​  @roonyxx​​​ @snffbeebee​​​ @ezilyamuzed​​​ @srsllydunnodoncare​​​ @latetothewinchesterparty​​​ @emilyshurley​​​ @atc74​​​ @adoptdontshoppets​​​ @biawol​​​  @spaceystacey123​​​ @bella-ca​​​ @clo-heda​​​ @closetspngirl​​​ @thekatherinewinchester​​​ @maddiepants​​​ @idreamofplaid​​​  @flamencodiva​​​ @blueberrykushlovexoxo-blog​​​ @sandlee44​​​ @tumbler-tidbits​​​ @rainbowsinthestorm​​​ @deans-baby-momma​​​ @algud​​​ @maui137​​​ @drakelover78​​​ @keymology​​​ @baby7879​​ @cpag7​​ @defenderrosetyler​​

Dean/ Jensen:

@spnbaby-67​​​​ @akshi8278​​​​ @deanscarlett​​​​​​​ @deanwanddamons​​ @jensenackles-ismyreligion​

[olivia200312]

My Angel~ TFP! Optimus x Human! Angel! Reader (Lemon) *Request*

Requested by the lovely @AngelRosePhoenix

Plot: Can I have A request for Tfp Optimus x Human Angel reader? Like, he doesn't know she was an angel of course this a lemon one. I wanna make it funny that she's an angel and so innocent that the prime doesn't know she can be more lustful and dangerous but of course he can't let himself win for an angel... And he knew her angel form when she was helping them fight the Decepticons... But it's up to u to add it.

This is a lemon!

Head area:

Brain: Processor / Brain Module

Head: Helm

Face: Face plate

Ears: Audio receptors / Receptor Orifice / Audials

Nose: Enstril / Olfactory Sensor

Eye brow: Optical Ridge

Eyes: Optics

Mouth: Intake

Lips: Dermas

Teeth: Denta/Dentas

Tongue: Glossa

Chest area:

Chest: Chassis / Thoraxal Cavity

Back: Hexa-Lateral Scapula

Spine: Bipedalism cord / Back Strut

Chest and back armour:

Chest plate

Back plate

Mid-section plating

Neck guard

Side plating

Arm area:

Arms: Arms / Restarlueus

Forearms: Bitarlueus

Hands: Servos

Fingers: Digits

Arm armour:

Gantlets

Shoulder pads

Arm guard

Lower area:

Pelvis: Pelvis

Butt: Aft / Skid-Plate

Thighs: Tibulen

Calves: Cadulen

Feet: Pedes - the high heel bits are called Struts or Heel Struts.

Lower armour:

Skirt plates

Aft plate / Skid plate

Thigh guard

Ankle guard

General/Internal components:

Muscles: Cables / Pistons - It depends on the area in question.

Veins: Fual lines

Stomach: Tanks

Lungs: Vents - used to stop the con/bot from over heating.

Heart: Spark

Tattoos: D-con/A-bot Insignias and the lark

T-Cog: The thing that allows all Cybertronians to transform, be that their arms or their whole body.

Bonus:

Penis: Spike

Vagina: Valve

Body: Frame

Note; the art goes to the owner!

---------------------------------

It was a normal day on the base. The humans were doing their kinds of stuff or just hanging out with the bots. There were four humans: Jack, Miko, Raf, and Y/N. However, one of the humans wasn't quite a human. It was Y/N. You see, she was an angel, a secret angel in fact. She died in an accident while saving someone's life. She was for years a normal angel, doing duties in heaven until one day, her God called to her.

Flashback:

"Y/N, thank you for arriving," God said while standing next to an... a mighty robot, who was smiling kindly.

"Of course, my Lord," Y/N said while bowing.

"My old friend, Primus, and I have an offer and we decided to choose you to do it," God explained.

Primus? The name sounds mighty, powerful and someone important, but who was Primus? Was he Primus? The one that was standing next to God?

"Hello, child. My name is Primus. I'm a God but of Cybertronians, not humans. I came here and spoke to God. I want to offer you something. Are you going to do it?" Primus asked with a kind expression on his faceplate.

"Of course, Lord Primus," Y/N said with a brave smile.

"Just call me Primus, child."

"She won't do it easily, old friend. I told her once to call me just God as well but she didn't. She just wants to show us more respect," God said with a laugh.

Primus chuckled. "Alright. Anyway, there's a Prime named Optimus. He's the leader of Autobots who'sin a brutal civil war against Megatron, someone who he considered once a brother until he got betrayed by him. I want you to protect him at any cost. Keep it a secret that you're an angel."

Optimus Prime? The name sounded also powerful and someone important. But poor him... getting betrayed by someone who he considered as a brother.

"And what if he finds out? Along with his team?" Y/N asked.

"Then go ahead and tell the truth, child," Primus said while God nodded.

Y/N nodded and that's all how it all started...

Y/N was keeping her secret very well. You may think that all angels were so kind, well, think again... Y/N was dangerous and lustful as well. It was honestly how everyone, especially Optimus, didn't say anything that Y/N was not just any human while Jack, Miko, and Raf were normal. Y/N was keeping her tasks like God and Primus asked her to do. Protect and keep Optimus safe. She knew that she will not keep the secret forever because let's just say a girl that was a troublemaker caught her and took a picture of her...

Y/N was in her room, changing clothes to get comfy in the base. The Autobots let her live in the base since she didn't have a home... When the bots found her, Y/N lied a lot... She was now in her sports bra and wearing loose pants so obviously, her soft white angel wings were revealed. Her door was a tiny bit open, making Miko take a peek and was very shocked to see wings! She quickly took out her pink phone and took a clear picture. She then dashed quietly off towards every one...

"Phew. Now I'm comfy," Y/N said with a smile, making sure that her wings were hidden. She then walked out of her room and went to others. When she entered the room, everyone was staring at her. EVERYONE! Y/N stopped in her tracks, feeling now extremely awkward.

Then Ratchet surprisingly spoke. "Y/N, take that hoodie off. Now."

Y/N didn't like that tone at all... She feels threatened and more sadly... a freak. "Why? What's wrong with it?" She acted as nothing had happened.

"Don't play too dumb! You have wings!"

Y/N's world came crashing down. They found out... She began to think about how or more like who found out her secret. There was only one person that doesn't keep secrets very well and was a troublemaker. Miko. The angel girl nearly growled in anger but she didn't.

Optimus then kneeled down and had gentle optics on her. "Y/N, please show us your wings."

"Yeah! They're so cool!" Miko spoke out.

Y/N had it enough that she just suddenly... ran off towards the exit where the Autobots drive-in as vehicles, not towards the lift.

"Y/N!"

The angel girl just ignored it and ran as fast as she can. The massive doors opened and she left. She quickly unzipped her hoodie, revealing only her sports bra, and opened her wings. She then jumped and flapped her wings rapidly to fly. She flew so fast that she almost lost control and landed right on top of the base. She landed gently on her knees as she felt tears in her eyes built. She felt so ashamed and even... as a freak. She was doing such a good job by hiding it until that troublemaker Miko ruined everything.

Y/N sat this time down on her ass on the hard rocky ground as she stared up at the sky, watching the sun going down as the day turned to night. Y/N always loved to watch stars when she was alive at the time. She still loved to do that. She watched as the stars twinkled up in the sky.

"I was worried that you disappeared, Y/N," said the familiar deep gentle voice.

Y/N gasped and immediately jumped up. She turned around and saw Optimus, except... he's smaller. He's very close to Y/N's height. Wow...

"O-Optimus? H-How?"

Optimus chuckled with a smile. "Ratchet created a special device that is connected to all Autobots to make us smaller close to human's height."

"F-Fair enough," Y/N mumbled as she turned away, feeling still ashamed.

Optimus noticed it and stepped closer until he's right behind her. "Do not feel ashamed, Y/N. I'm amazed that you have wings."

Y/N was surprised by what she heard. He was amazed? She looked over her shoulder sp that she's making eye contact with the Prime. "How so?"

"I never met a human with wings."

Y/N looked nervous. "I'm not... exactly human."

Optimus raised his optic ridge up. It was kinda cute.

"I'm an... angel. Guardian angel. We are sent by God to protect the ones that he'll choose. For how long? I don't know. I guess until we get called by God or if the person (or bot) is dead. God spoke to Primus and they gave me a task to be your guardian angel, so... I did what I was told."

Optimus was shocked by what he heard. God and Primus were best friends? That was one big surprise. Did primus ask Y/N to protect him? That was... how should the prime put this? Very lovable. He's in love with his guardian angel. He couldn't help but thank Primus for giving him the love that he was looking for.

"That is very shocking that God and Primus are best friends. May I say that you're very beautiful as an angel?"

Y/N blushed at what she heard. Well, many men saw female angels as very beautiful beings while women saw men, angels, as very handsome beings. So, yeah, that compliment flustered Y/N. She looked down shyly and giggled very quietly, but Optimus heard it anyway. He used his digit to put it under her chin and lift it up gently. He smiled as he finds blushing Y/N cute.

"Y/N, I have a confession to make. When I got to know you more, I fell in love with you. I was always suspicious at the beginning why you were protecting me from everything until now."

Y/N was squealing with happiness inside. He loved her back! She smiled brightly like an angel and she kissed him on his dermas. The Prime was surprised by her sudden move and kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. They continued to kiss and kiss that it turned heated and they started to make out.

Let's skip the time a bit. When the make-out season was over, they both returned to the base, where the whole truth came out. Everyone was shocked. The bots were shocked about hearing Primus while the kids were shocked about God.

"I can't believe that God really exists!" Miko exclaimed.

Anyway, Y/N had her soft, comfortable yet sexy white gown (the pic above). The girl was laying on her comfortable yet soft bed, rolling around. She also had white lace panties on. *Whistles* the Prime will sure get hard soon.~

Y/N stretched her arms above her head, making cute sounds and arching her back. But what she didn't know was that Optimus was in fact in the room, watching the whole thing. He was planning to just sleep normally with her. But now this? He felt himself getting hard behind his panel cover where his spike was hidden.

"You know it's rude to stare, right, Optimus?" She was suddenly in front of him.

"I can't help it, my dear. You look stunning in this gown," Optimus said while blushing bright blue.

Y/N giggled and showed a seductive look, also lustful. She wrapped her arms around his neck while Optimus servos held her hips. "Oh, Optimus, you were so funny how you didn't realize that I can be dangerous and lustful while I acted cute and so innocent.~"

Optimus had indeed not noticed that she can be lustful and dangerous. She's acting like that right now, actually. He had a surprised and speechless expression. His angel giggled as she kissed him and pushed him on the bed. The bedroom door was locked so that no one would interrupt. Optimus grunted in surprise as he cupped her ass with his servos. Y/N was on his lap, kissing his with so much passion that they both moaned.

"My dear..." Optimus grunted. Then his spike came out, not holding back anymore.

Y/N was shocked at how big he was. Well, he's a Prime, strong and well built so he was big, of course. She started to stroke him as she kissed him. The Prime grunted and moaned as he sneakily managed to pull her white lace panties off, revealing her soaked wet pussy. She moaned as she was being teased by Optimus since her clit was being rubbed. Optimus' other servo was playing with her boobs while she had still her white gown on so he sneaked his servo under.

"Optimus~"

But she suddenly yelped when she got lifted up gently and the spike entered her. She didn't felt pain at all that she started to ride him. Both her and Optimus moaned in pleasure as sex was getting more and more pleasurable until it's unbearable. The skin and metal slapped each other and surprisingly Optimus started to stroke Y/N's wing, causing the girl to yelp and moan louder.

"So beautiful... M-My dear," Optimus grunted.

Y/N only moaned as she kissed Optimus, making out with him again. Everyone at the base was sure awake now... at least the kids were at home because oh boy... it was trouble.

"I'm c-cumming!"

"Cum, my dear," Optimus growled as he felt his climax as well.

Optimus smashed his dermas against Y/N's lips to keep her quiet from screaming, but everyone was awake, listening to moans and grunts coming from Optimus and his guardian angel. Y/N squealed as Optimus came, burying his warm and sticky seed deep inside of her. She sighed in bliss as it was over. She leaned against her lover as she panted to catch her breath. She was lifted up again, this time to pull out as Optimus' spike was limb. He then laid down as his angel was on top of him, snuggling. The Prime smiled as he pulled the covers up and stroked her wings that were open. He heard Y/N purr.

"Thank you for protecting me, ... my angel."

Y/N smiled in response. 

There you go. Finally done.

[juno-but-not-steel]

Tim Appreciation Week Day Four: AU

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Pairing: Jontim

Word Count: 1555

Tim sighed as he looked out at the countryside rushing past. He was on his way to visit his brother Danny, who had moved up to Edinburgh last year. The hypnotic pattern of the rolling green hills made him sleepy, so he turned his eyes away, and fixed them on the man sitting across from him.

He was probably around Tim’s age, but looked absolutely knackered. His clothes were dull shades of brown and green, and they hung loose on his too thin frame. His green eyes would have been striking, if not for the haze that clouded them and the deep bags that made them appear sunken. His shoulder length hair was tangled and streaked with grey, pulled losely back at the nape of his neck. Tim shouldn’t have been attracted to this rat of a man, but somehow was.

He got out his phone, plugged in his headphones, and put his music on shuffle. He opened the message app to text Danny.

Tim: On my way!

Danny: Great! Can’t wait to see you!

Tim: Rides pretty boring. There’s this kind of cute guy sitting across from me tho

Danny: Ooo send a pic!

Tim attempted to sneakily take a picture, but the man seemed too involved to notice anything Tim did. He snapped a quick photo, trying to make it as flattering as possible, and sent it to Danny.

Danny: Kind of dumpster chique if you ask me, but you do you bro

Tim: Yeah, he is a little ratty lmao. Still, I think he’s cute.

Tim closed his phone and shoved it in his pocket, turning down the volume on his music. He turned to the window again, and let the rolling hills lull him to sleep.

Not half an hour could have passed before the train came to a screeching halt, jerking Tim awake.

“What the hell?” He groaned, blinking his eyes open.

The man across from him stayed quiet, but appeared just as annoyed as Tim.

“Passengers, please stay in your compartments,” a voice said over the loudspeaker. “The engine has failed, and it will take some time to fix it. Please stay out of the hallways as much as possible, and staff members will bring around food from the dining car.” The intercom clicked off, and they were left in silence.

Tim groaned and leaned his head on the window, pulling out his phone to text Danny.

“Shit, no service,” he muttered.

“You can use mine, if you need to,” the other man said. His voice was soft and low, and Tim found himself even more attracted to him. “I’ve got service.”

“Cheers,” Tim said as the man handed over his phone. He couldn’t stop himself from sneaking glances at him as he typed in Danny’s number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Danny,” Tim said. “It’s Tim.”

“Hey! What’s up?”

“The train broke down, they’re saying it’ll take a while to fix.”

“Aw, that sucks man!”

“Yeah, and I don’t have any service, either,” Tim sighed. “So, if you need to get a hold of me, call this number.”

“Yeah, who’s phone is this anyways?”

Tim glanced at the man across from him. He was staring out at the countryside, completely oblivious. “It’s my compartment mate’s.”

“Ooo, that cute guy you were telling me about?” Danny teased, and Tim could hear him laughing. He snickered a bit too.

“Yep, that’s the one. Gotta go now, bye!” Tim hung up as Danny protested. He chuckled as he handed back the phone.

“Thanks,” the guy mumbled.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, but Tim quickly got bored.

“What’s your name?” He asked.

“Sorry?”

“Your name. What is it? We’re gonna be here for a while, might as well get to know each other,” He added.

“Jon,” the man said, and turned back to the window.

“I’m Tim.”

“I know. I heard you say on the phone.”

Tim snorted. This obviously wasn’t going anywhere. He plugged his headphones back in and just sat, listening to his music. Eventually, a staff member came around with food for them. A salad and roll each. Tim ate his ravenously, but Jon barely touched his, just pushing it around with his fork. He frowned, and opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. It wasn’t any of his business if Jon had poor eating habits.

Hours passed, the sun started to sink, and the voice came on the intercom again.

“This is taking us longer than expected. Luckily, this train is used for overnight journeys, so you will find that your seats fold out into cots. So sorry for the inconvenience, hopefully we will be running again soon.”

Tim sighed, and went about converting his seat into a small, hard pull out cot, and layed down. Jon was still staring out the window.

“Did you hear the guy on the loudspeaker?”

“Hm?” Jon hummed absentmindedly and turned slowly to look at Tim. His green eyes were quite striking, even with the dark bags, Tim thought.

“Your seat turns into a cot.”

“Oh, that’s convenient.”

Tim turned his eyes to the ceiling, and heard Jon shuffling around across the small room. A few minutes passed, and Jon made a small, embarrassed cough.

“Could you help me? I can’t seem to figure it out.”

Tim stood up, humming in assent, and walked over to Jon. He was standing right in front of the latch, but didn’t seem to realize.

Tim was about a foot away from Jon, and realized that he was at least six inches taller than the other man. Jon looked up at Tim, slightly confused, and the latter could see flecks of gold in Jon’s green eyes. Tim’s eyes drifted down to his lips, almost unconsciously, and he just barely stopped himself from kissing Jon. That was really too forward, even for Tim.

“So, are you going to help me, or just stand there?” Jon was blushing.

“Oh, right. Sorry,” Tim could feel his own blush creep up his neck and spread across his face. “You’re standing in front of the mechanism.”

Jon mumbled an apology and stepped out of the way, head down. Tim reached under the seat and pulled the lever, converting the seat into an exact copy of his cot. Tim awkwardly walked back over to his side, and Jon sat down across from him again.

“You really should eat something,” Tim said, and then cursed himself internally. Why was he so worried?

“‘M not hungry,” Jon muttered.

“Suit yourself,” considered Tim, who went back to staring at the ceiling.

Night fell and the moon rose, sending silver rays of light through the window of the compartment. Tim found himself staring at Jon’s sleeping form in the soft light.

The moonlight softened his features that were so pinched during his waking hours, and he looked so peaceful. The grey streaks were illuminated in his tangled hair, and Tim found himself wondering what it would be like to run his fingers through that mess, smoothing it out till it flowed like silk. He clenched his jaw and turned away.

He barely knew Jon. He could count the number of words they exchanged on his hands. He most likely didn’t like guys, Tim didn’t have luck that good. And yet…

The room went dark as a huge cloud covered the moon, plunging Tim’s vision into almost complete blackness. A thunderstrike boomed, so loud it rattled the luggage rack above the window. Tim thought he saw Jon flinch, but couldn’t be sure.

Rain came down in sheets, pinging off of the metal roof of the train. Tim grumbled, it was way too loud for him to sleep. A bolt of lightning lit up the small compartment, followed by an even louder thunderbolt that Tim felt in his bones. This time, Jon definitely flinched. Tim turned to look at Jon, who was sat up, curled into the corner with his face buried in his knees.

“Jon?” Tim asked softly.

Jon lifted his head, eyes open and locked on Tim. His face was stained with tearstained, but he made no sound.

“Are you okay?”

Jon laughed dryly. “Is that supposed to be a joke?” He rasped.

“Do you want a hug, or something?” Tim asked, unsure. He never was good at comforting people.

Jon stayed quiet for a second, and Tim was about to rescind his offer with a snide comment, when Jon sniffed and nodded. Tim stood up, and went to sit next to Jon, pulling him into his side.

Jon snuggled into Tim’s side, resting his head on Tim’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Jon whispered quietly. “It’s hard for me to accept help, but thank you.”

Tim smiled down at him. “Of course. I love a good cuddle.”

Jon chuckled, and stilled. Tim was just about to fall asleep, when he piped up again.

“Tim?”

“Yeah, Jon?”

Jon was silent for so long, that Tim almost fell back to sleep.

“When we get to Edinburgh, do you want to get coffee with me?”

Tim started, and thought he was dreaming at first. He looked down at Jon, who was looking back up at him, eyes wide and hopeful.

Tim smiled. “I would love that.”

“Great,” Jon said, muffled by oncoming sleep. “I look forward to it.”

Tim didn’t answer, however, because he was already asleep.

Sorry these are all a day off, I missed one day and it’s all off balance now. Gonna try and fix it today :)

[atruththatyoudeny]

Monthly Reads | August 2019

Oh, look, it's the 28th again! Celebrating the launch of Gucci's new fragrance and the fantastic new pics I had to reread Landslide. Other than that there are 21 fics in this list - and like always: so many thanks go out to all the amazing authors in this fandom who share their stories with us! ♥

Landslide | aimmyarrowshigh , spibsy (lucy_and_ramona) | historical - 1970s - cults - undercover - psychological drama - racism - period typical attitudes - internalized homophobia - PTSD - and more...please read all the tags carefully - 143k The year is 1976. In November, Jimmy Carter will take control of the White House. Americans are meeting Laverne & Shirley at their apartment in Milwaukee. Hotel California diverges from the reign of Kool & the Gang. And the FBI is still reeling from the repercussions of Watergate, the tragedy at Wounded Knee, Operation Family Secrets, and the strategic terrors of the anti-cult movement. That's what Special Agent Harry Styles has been told is the basis of his mission to an abandoned farmhouse in rural New Hampshire. With his hair grown out long and his shirt untucked, he's going undercover to do reconnaissance on suspected cult leader Louis Tomlinson, who has led a group of people out into the middle of nowhere, leaving no record of the life he'd had before. All Harry knows is what the agency gave him: Tomlinson's name, and instructions to figure out what he's doing with the eleven people he brought with him. In the year that Harry spends undercover and under Louis Tomlinson's wing, he learns more than he ever expected.

I Drove All Night (To Get To You) | lovelarry10 | famous/not famous - strangers to lovers - pining - fluff - 23k Harry’s job as a chauffeur for the rich and famous was not as flashy as he’d thought. Late nights having to listen to the ridiculous demands and whims of these high profile clients leaves him disheartened with the world he thought was all glitz and glamour. One night his boss asks him a favour. To collect one last client before he clocks off. Only problem is when that client gets into the car it’s Louis Tomlinson. As in Harry’s all time crush. As in future husband and father of all his children Louis Tomlinson. He can be cool and professional, right?

Live Like You Were Dying | YesIsAWorld | car accidents - love confessions - self discovery - 2k I’m in love with you. The phone fell from his hand, and the world went black.

Calling Clifford | noellehenry | fluff - humor - 10k The summer AU where Clifford has his own peculiar ways of matchmaking.

Home Remedies | kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) | friends to lovers - smut - 4k Louis’ hiccups just won’t stop. Harry, his roommate and best friend, is willing to do anything to help.

Traffic Light | dinosaursmate | Traffic Light Party - smut - friends with benefits - 7k Harry, a university student fresh out of a relationship, attends a Traffic Light Party. He knew all about the red, yellow and green cups, but the blue one confuses him. What does DTF mean, anyway?

Down On the Farm | kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) | bonfires - farm/ranch - smut - 5k Every Friday night there's a steady cloud of dust That leads back to a field filled with pickup trucks Got old Hank crankin', way up loud Got coolers in the back, tailgates down There's a big fire burnin' but don't be alarmed It's just country boys and girls gettin' down on the farm — “Down On the Farm” by Tim McGraw

Driving On The Wrong Side, Thinking Of You | dinosaursmate | Marcel AU - implied/ referenced homophobia - High School AU - friends to lovers - promiscuity - 25k Louis is the most popular guy in sixth form. Don't get the wrong idea, he's a good guy, and he absolutely won't stand for his friends teasing his neighbour, Marcel.

Restless Lane | jaerie | a/b/o - secret identity - childhood friends - secrets - friends to lovers - angst - 14k Louis had grown used to his boring life back in Mississippi as a stand-in father figure to his siblings. He never expected his childhood friend to show up on his lawn with the heat of summer or that he would remind Louis how much of himself he'd tucked away and neglected. He also never expected to find himself caught up in a tangled web of feelings or secrets that just might break him. Maybe he had never known Harry at all.

Waiting for the tides to meet | nauticalleeds (metamorphosis) | soulmates - pining - miscommunication - angst - fluff - friends to lovers - slow burn - 60k Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart. Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

If I Stay | Rearviewdreamer | Walk In The Clouds AU - fake/pretend relationship - mpreg - slow burn - 37k Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

Mirror Touch | pinky_heaven19 | Synesthesia - hurt/comfort - fluff - pining - strangers to lovers - 58k The one where Harry owns a second-hand clothing store, and Louis is a radio host. Louis has mirror-touch synesthesia, which makes him experience what people around him feel. He feels a lot around Harry.

In Your Black Heart (Is Where You'll Find Me) | graceling_in_a_suit | a/b/o - omega/omega - pirates - historical - 36k Louis Tomlinson has been lying for five years. His crew sees him as a pirate, a Captain, and an alpha; only two of those are the truth. He was content to let the illusion go on forever, but an omega named Harry Styles just had to join his crew and get his warm-vanilla stink all over Louis' best laid plans. Or: the story of The Captain and The Carpenter.

Supposed to Be | kikikryslee | High School - stereotypes - enemies to friends to lovers - slow burn - hate to love - 26k The Geek Charming AU where Harry's a film geek, Louis' a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

Meet me where the tulips grow | tempolarriefics | study abroad - fluff - 19k The one where Harry studies abroad and falls in love with both the city of Amsterdam and the boy he explores it with.

When i'm set alight | mixedfandomfics | teacher AU - hate to love - misunderstandings - 14k Louis and Harry hate each other. Always have, always will. No one is quite sure how they will handle it when their favorite students ask them to lead a new LGBT club at their school.

Breathe In, Breathe Out | dinosaursmate | friends to lovers - pining - 12k Louis Tomlinson begins visiting a new pub on his lunch break, mostly because he really fancies Harry, the cute, curly-haired barman. As Louis gears up to ask him out, he doesn't realise that there is a huge stumbling block in his way: Harry is taken, and by someone rather familiar.

I am mad all about you | godslut | med students - coffe shop - 5k Harry is a pre-med student trying to quit coffee. louis pretends to be spider-man to make kids laugh.

Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | 2tiedships2 | a/b/o - friends to lovers - fake/pretend relationship - mutual pining - 32k The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

A Life That's Good (series) | lovelarry10 | fluff - kid fic - adoption - light angst - 66k Harry and Louis were married young, but always knew that they wanted a family together. Soon, through adoption, Hope came into their lives, and was later joined by her younger brother Oscar. Join the Tomlinsons on their journey in family life. ①  You're My Only Hope Harry and Louis have been hoping to start a family for a while, but it hasn't happened for them just yet. With the surprise arrival of a newborn baby on the doorstep at work, are their family dreams about to become reality? ②  Tiny Dancer It's Hope's first ballet recital, and Harry and Louis are more than excited to watch their four year old daughter perform for the first time. ③  Who You Are Things are going wonderfully for Harry and Louis. Their family has never been stronger. When a connection to their son’s past appears out of nowhere, it makes them wonder what lies ahead for the future of their family. ④  We Got Love Harry and Louis thought their family was complete. They were wrong. ⑤  Follow Your Arrow Hope has a crush, but she’s scared to tell her parents, especially Louis. Harry helps her figure out how to break the news to her other dad, who is ultimately nothing but wonderful. ⑥  Summer Love The Tomlinsons are off on a summer holiday before it’s time for everything to change...

Night Changes | colourexplosion | soulmates - supernatural elements - werewolves - light angst - 40k Louis and Harry are soulmates. (With a twist.)

From The Heart | jacaranda_bloom | coffee shop AU - 25k Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat. As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind? ①  Henry and Lewis Louis hangs out in his local coffee shop to work on his weekly WordPlay Prompt, speaks to his beloved muse aka Harry the gorgeous barista, embarrasses himself in front of said muse, and receives a comment on AO3 from his favourite reader. ②  Smuturday Louis struggles with this week's WordPlay prompt before finding inspiration, and a date, in an unexpected place, and could there be more going on with his favourite reader than he originally thought. ③  Tea For Two Louis grapples with what to do about his new found suspicions over his favourite readers real-life identity. ④  Life Imitating Art Louis is taken on a very real journey through his fic back catalogue - life has never imitated art so salaciously. ⑤  Entertain Me All good things must come to an end, including the WordPlay challenge. But while Louis has mixed emotions about its end, and struggling to make sense of the final prompt, he is relishing every aspect of his newly revitalised personal life.

[slartifartbast]

True story time! Mostly depressing, but some sexy stuff happens.

An evening of firsts

CW: Depression, explicit sexual content, internalized fatphobia, severe self-loathing & insecurity, STDs, uhhh, and if you think of something else that belongs here, please let me know so I can add it.

I’m giving my friend the pseudonym Leeta because she is, in fact, smoking hot, and she spent some time working as a burlesque dancer.

Before we get to the juicy details, the plodding backstory!

Late summer, 2002, Brooklyn, NY. It was my second year of renting a bedroom in a 4-story brownstone house near what is now referred to as the Atlantic Barclay’s Terminal. I was 23 years old and feeling somewhat secure in my place in the city again. I had a full time job, a relatively short commute, and had some spending money. I was thinking about “thinking about” dating. Spent some downtime at work looking at the Onion’s personals site, and realizing that there’s no way any of the women there would find me interesting (the dull personality persists).

One of the other rooms in the house had become vacant, and so Leeta applied. She was a 20 year old student at a nearby college. Imagine, if you will, Christina Hendricks’ physique and complexion. Morph Christina Hendricks’s face about 1/3 of the way to Kristen Schaal’s face, and you now can imagine Leeta perfectly.

The landlady had one major rule for the house: no fucking. She’s not getting any, so no one else is, either. Anywhere else, fine, just not here.

That was a rule I had no problem obeying. Hindsight tells me I had a reason to break that rule many times over. But we’re not there yet in the story.

Leeta and I became close friends. We’d watch movies together, hang out a bit after work/school, whatever. When the landlady went away on vacation, Leeta would platonically share my bed. If it was summer, I had the A/C. Winter, an electric blanket. The first time, I asked if I could cuddle with her. She found this endearing and consented. After a few minutes, she said “you’re not very good at this; where’s your legs?”

“To be embarrassingly honest, I’ve never been this close to anyone before, and I’m completely aroused. You didn’t sign up to deal with that.”

She grabbed a spare pillow to put between us, I got closer, and we fell asleep. So that was our relationship. Caring, affectionate, with some teasing here and there about my utter lack of experience. We supported each other when we had romantic prospects.

A year later, the landlady decided to retire and sell the house. We moved out, went our separate ways, hanging out once in a while. I still had all kinds of feelings for her, but never made them known. We went to the movies once, and she did the “yawn, stretch, arm around the shoulders” thing to me. I blushed, smiled, and held her hand. At dinner afterward, she showed me a portfolio booklet that she had modeled for. The cover was a picture of her, nude, laying in a bathtub. Just full frontal everything. I lost the capacity to speak for a few minutes. Upon recovering, I managed to compliment how the angle, composition, and lighting perfectly captured her delectable curves. We hung out a few more times, but eventually lost touch for a couple of years.

I was dealing with depression, anxiety, and self-loathing. I got back into the habit of eating my feelings. There was someone else I was developing a friendship with, who seemed to be interested in more, but by the time I figured that out, she had moved on to another guy in our circle of friends. I was devastated and miserable and withdrawn and just completely fucking hated myself. At this point, I was working second shift and the idea of dating was HARD. There were attempts, but I never knew what to say or do. My inbox was always empty. On a whim, at the end of 2006, I emailed Leeta to see what she was up to.

A week later, she responded: “Call me.”

And so I did! We agreed that she’d meet me at my job the next day around 7 PM, because we’d be alone by that time of day. I reminded her that my boss has an unpredictable habit of leaving work at 6, going home from Manhattan to New Jersey for a few hours, and then returning for no apparent reason.

Leeta showed up at just the right time and we greeted each other with a warm hug. We caught up on what she had been up to. She got on my computer and pulled up a website with pics of her at work, dancing in various states of undress. I tactfully complimented her, and eventually she changed the subject to me. I explained why I was in a bad way.

She took my hand, and lead me to the day-glow orange IKEA foldout couch, and sat me down. She turned away from me and began dancing. Then she sat on my lap and started grinding.

“Leeta, despite what you can feel through our pants...if this is out of pity, I don’t want it.”

She got up, turned around, mounted me face to face, took off her shirt, pulled her breasts out of her bra, and pulled my head to her chest. Hearing and feeling her heart beat, I kissed my way up to her collarbone, neck, and face. When I got to her lips, she hesitated. Her fingers ran through my hair as I held her other hand, and I asked her to please kiss me back.

28 goddamn years old, and begging for my first kiss.

After a moment, she did. Deeply, passionately. Her tongue surprised me, becoming a tornado around my own while she went back to grinding and groping me. She sat up a little, pushed my face between her breasts, and I worshipped them for what felt like either an eternity, or 0.68 seconds. I could have spent the rest of the night doing so, but my attention was eventually needed elsewhere.

“Mmmm, I’m wet. Here, feel.”

I obliged, because I’m a dutiful scientist. It’s really difficult to reach down someone’s jeans when they’re sitting on your lap. She unbuttoned and unzipped, and I was able to verify her condition.

We stood up. I pulled out and unfolded the couch while she took off her shoes & pants. She laid down and I got on top, kissing and licking from her head down to her toes, pausing briefly at her hips to slowly pull off her underwear. On my way back up, she opened her legs and guided my hand. I’d seen enough educational porn to understand what she wanted. I “come hithered” until she couldn’t take it any more, slurped her juices from my fingers, and went right back at it. By the 7th or 8th time, she was convulsing and grabbing at me. We kissed as she came down from the high. She got up on her knees, bent over and proclaimed, “I like it rough. Spank me?” I admired, caressed, squeezed, kissed, licked, and finally spanked her glorious ass. I moved to a better angle so I could finger and spank at the same time. I don’t get the whole pain/pleasure thing, but she certainly enjoyed herself.

It was then that Leeta noticed that I was still fully clothed. Not even slightly unbuttoned. I was (am) terribly uneasy about being naked with anyone, even with someone who wanted me. My face and body look like sacks of potatoes, and I felt unworthy of proceeding further. On top of that, I didn’t want to lose my virginity in my office, surrounded by dust and fumes, where my boss could return at any moment and I’d lose my job.

Unfortunately, she internalized my insecurity. “Is it because I’m ugly?” she asked.

“I’m the ugly one here. I’m so grateful to be with you, but this place is disgusting, my boss could be here soon, and I don’t have a condom. Your place or mine?”

“I can’t, I have to go to work.”

“How much do you need for tonight’s shift? I can cover you. Please, I want to be with you.”

“That’s not it; if I don’t show up, they won’t let me come back.”

I gathered up her clothes and “helped” her get dressed, kissing her all over. When she was ready to go, we embraced and made out for another minute. She proposed a FWB situation, to which I agreed.

Looking back, I realize this was out of insecurity, and she possibly wanted more. If she had asked, I would have said yes. I just didn’t know better at the time.

I let her go, and texted her as she left the building. “You’re wonderful, I can’t wait to see you again.”

I finished my shift uninterrupted, went home floating, and did some...“scientific research”.

I didn’t hear from her for weeks. The first week, I texted her every day. The messages quickly transitioned from Thirsty to Worried. After getting no response, I gave up.

Another week or so passed, and I sent a “I miss you, I hope you’re okay” text.

Finally, a response: “I have herpes.”

“Funny! Seriously, it’s ok if you don’t want to sleep with me. I can take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“I’m not kidding.”

I was not well. I was sad and angry, mostly for selfish reasons. I kept it all in, though, figuring she was going through enough stuff. I took her to dinner that weekend, and she explained what happened.

Leeta felt rejected because I didn’t have sex with her in my office. After her shift, she met a guy on the train ride home. He seemed nice. She went home with him, slept with him, spent a lot of time with him. A week later, she was at Planned Parenthood for an exam, pointed to a sore, and asked a nurse, “what’s that?”

She went to the guy, who had no idea. He had been kicked out of a very strict, religious, and anti-science (also, anti-“science”) home at an early age, had no knowledge about, well, anything. She decided to help him get his shit together. We parted that night, and I hugged her for what was probably an inappropriate amount of time.

A few months of friendly texting followed, and eventually Leeta expressed the idea of setting me up with one of her friends. The three of us would meet at a jazz club, with Leeta as a mutual wingwoman. “Denise” was super cute, and we had some common interests. It was awkward at first, but we had a good time. We shared a cab home because we lived on opposite ends of the same neighborhood. Sadly, Denise and I had opposing work schedules, and despite my efforts, we never saw each other again. It was also the last time I saw or heard from Leeta.

I have missed her ever since. But more selfishly, I miss the way I felt when I was with her. With Leeta, I never felt any kind of pressure to work and earn her affection; it was just there, and I reciprocated it. I never had a relationship like that since.

[interspecieslesbianism]

My Boss’ Son

So I uh...wrote fic. This is the first thing I’ve finished in a while. Just a quick thing I wrote while at work. It’s unbeta’d with no reread because I didn’t want to give myself a chance to hate it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Stiles liked his boss. He knew a lot of people didn’t like theirs, and he knew he was lucky. Talia Hale was beautiful, and could be pretty tough if you didn’t do your job, but Stiles loved what he did too.

Network administration wasn’t for everyone, but Stiles saw doing it for a rapidly growing business as a challenge. The pay was nothing to sneeze at either. At this rate, his student loans would be paid off in half the time, and Talia always listened if Stiles needed something. Especially new equipment.

The only problem with Talia was that she kept trying to set him up with her son.

“Derek’s an artist. He lived in New York, but he moved back home for a change of scenery.” She would say. Stiles didn’t have to be a genius to figure out that it was a lie.

Stiles might even have agreed to it. He hadn’t had a boyfriend since graduation and the guy he’d been seeing had taken off to backpack around China. Stiles was so sexually frustrated, it wasn’t even funny anymore. But…

Stiles was interested in someone else And they had something going. Well…kinda.

About a month after graduation, Stiles had been out with his friends. Somehow, he’d managed to bag a guy way, way out of his league at the first bar, and the rest of the night was a happy blur.

The sex had been amazing, but as Stiles was leaving he saw a beautiful woman pull into the driveway he’d just left. Stiles had very serious rules about not sleeping with married guys. Especially not straight married guys.

But he’d never deleted the guy’s number. Stiles didn’t even know his name. Drunk Stiles had just saved the number under 🍆🍆🍆 and Sober Stiles couldn’t think of anything else to use. And sometimes, when Stiles was drunk and lonely and above all horny, Stiles would send him nudes. And the guy would always respond with pictures of his own. Straight married dude or not, he just had a really, really nice dick.

And they did talk! Sorta. Sometimes Stiles would send him memes and the guy would share IT articles. After bad nights, the guy would send little “you feeling okay?” texts. Stiles guessed to make sure he hadn’t drunk himself to death? Stiles didn’t think he was that pathetic. Not yet, anyway.

So maybe Stiles was carrying a torch for a guy he could never be with on multiple levels. The world wasn’t going to end. Now if only he could figure out a way to tell Mrs. Hale that so she’d stop trying to hook him up with Derek.

XXX

“Derek’s going to be at the Christmas party next week.” Talia said, her voice heavy with implication.

Stiles, on his knees under her desk with a flashlight in his mouth as he tried to hook the new telecommunications system to her computer, could only grunt in response.

“You never know what might happen.” Talia continued. “Those stories about the crazy stuff that happen during Christmas parties exist for a reason. She laughed. “My husband and I were interning in the same law office – long before we were married or even dating, of course. We competed, actually. Each trying to best the other. And it all came to a head during the Christmas party that year. I think that was when we conceived our eldest, Laura, actually.”

She laughed again and Stiles began trying to extract himself, just as a woman cried, “Mom!”

A beautiful woman with long, dark hair was walking through Talia’s office door, grimacing at her mother. Stiles almost slipped back under the desk. “Laura” was the same woman Stiles had seen pull into 🍆🍆🍆’s driveway all those months ago!

Not only had Stiles almost been a homewrecker, he had slept with Talia’s son-in-law? Stiles wanted to die of mortification, but he figured that might give him away. Instead, Stiles stood and tried not to look at Laura.

“Try it now, Talia.” He muttered, pushing her chair back towards the desk for her.

Talia alighted on her chair and navigated to the telecom software. The snowy screen and [Network Access Not Found] message were gone, but Talia wasn’t going to let him escape that easily.

She stood and hooked an arm around Stiles’ shoulders, pulling him forward. “Stiles, this is my daughter Laura. Laura, this is Stiles.”

Laura scrutinized him and Stiles could only pray she didn’t somehow recognize him. “It’s nice to meet you, Stiles. You’re the one mom’s been trying to make go on a date with Der, right?”

Stiles winced and nodded. “Uh y-yeah. But as I keep telling her, I’m not really interested.” Because I would do anything to ride your husband’s cock again. Shame boiled hot in Stiles’ stomach.

“Well, you’re definitely his type!” Laura laughed, making Stiles blush. “Whether or not you want to put up with him is another matter entirely. I guess you can always decide at the Christmas party.”

“Laura! Be nice to your brother.” Talia admonished her, though there was a smile on her face. “Speaking of, you and Aaron will be there, right?” Talia asked, and Laura nodded. Aaron? Was that 🍆’s name? Stiles wondered if it would be rude to change it in his phone. Putting it in as “Aaron (Laura’s Husband)” might actually stop Drunk Stiles from sending him any more nudes though. Provided Stiles could avoid both him and Derek at the party. Maybe he just wouldn’t go.

“Anyway, I’ve got to go. I just wanted to drop off the swatches for Lupe’s quinceañera.” Laura said, moving to dig in her bag. Stiles took the opportunity to slip out and run all the way back to his network closet.

XXX

Unfortunately, despite his best efforts, Stiles found himself coming back to work on Friday night, now dressed in jeans and the cheesiest Christmas sweater he could find. The snow walkers had never been Stiles’ favorite part of Star Wars, but there was just something about seeing them in the distinctive crisscross pattern just made them so much better. Plus, showing off the utmost worst of his geekdom might be so unattractive to Derek and Aaron that neither of them would ever mention his name again.

Stiles found the makeshift bar that had been set up in a corner of the largest conference room and immediately added another reason to his list of reasons why Talia Hale was the best boss ever.

The guy in the bright red vest and a pair of light up antlers asked him what drink he wanted and Stiles’ went with the classic brandy and eggnog. Alcohol in hand, Stiles moved through the growing crowd that had spilled over into the main work area.

Stiles was actually starting to have fun talking to a few people that liked his sweater, when Talia found him.

“Stiles? Ah, there you are!” Talia made her way over, the white material of her dress looking even more beautiful under the red and green Christmas lights someone had put up.

There was a tall guy following behind her in the worst Lord of the Rings Christmas sweater Stiles had ever seen. His head was down, but Stiles saw a light beard creeping up over his cheek, so maybe he was Talia’s husband?

“I’m so glad you came!” Talia greeted him, pulling Stiles into a hug. “I was afraid Laura had scared you off.” She released Stiles and motioned to the man now standing beside her. “Stiles, this is my son Derek. Derek, Stiles.”

The guy looked up and Stiles’ jaw went slack. Derek Hale stood in front of him, but there were also had almost a dozen pictures of him on Stiles’ phone in all their jacked, dark haired, and big dicked gory. Those eyebrows were unmistakable.

Derek looked about as shocked as Stiles felt, and Stiles was glad that he at least wasn’t alone. “Y-you’re Derek?” Stiles finally squeaked.

“You forgot my name?” Derek asked, looking both annoyed and hurt.

Before Stiles could reply, he noticed Talia’s same distinctive eyebrows (how had he not noticed?!) creeping up toward her hairline. “You two already know each other?” She asked, voice so curious she almost sounded accusing.

Stiles could see the slight panic in Derek’s eyes and jumped in before he could think better of it. “R-right before I was hired here. We just danced a little at a club.”

Stiles could tell from Talia’s expression that she wasn’t fooled, but all she said was, “Oh. Well then why don’t I leave you two alone to get caught up then?” Before either of them could speak, she disappeared into the crowd.

As soon as Talia was out of earshot, Derek turned back to him. “You seriously forgot my name?” This time, Stiles could just hear the note of anxiety under Derek’s words. Still…

“Obviously you forgot mine too. Stiles isn’t exactly a common name.” Stiles shot back, folding his arms.

“When I peeked at your driver’s liscense after you fell asleep, all it said was Mieczyslaw.” Derek argued, and Stiles didn’t have a good answer to that. “How come I didn’t hear from you for months?” He asked, sounding more accusing with each word.

Stiles flushed and ducked his head in embarrassment. “I thought you were married…”

Derek was so surprised; he let his folded arms drop. “You what? Why?”

“I saw Laura pull into your place that morning.” Stiles admitted, folding his arms and hugging out his annoyance at himself. “You were already so far out of my league, I guess the idea you were married seemed logical.”

“But you still liked me enough to ask for dick pics?” Derek asked with one eyebrow raised.

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Drunk Stiles is an amoral dick controlled by his dick. Besides, you always responded.”

Derek’s jaw tightened and he looked down at his shoes. He stayed that way long enough for Stiles to wonder if that would just be that. Just as Stiles opened his mouth to excuse himself, Derek looked up. “Well then, how about Sober Derek takes Sober Stiles out for dinner, and we see what happens?”

Stiles only had to think about it for about two seconds before reaching out and slipping his hand into Derek’s.

[mariquitamarinette]

fake dating squared / chapter 1: dishonesty leads to disaster

Summary:

Chat Noir is a trusted ally and partner in justice, so when his usual playful flirting starts to make Ladybug worry there's something more, what can a girl do but try to let a friend down gently? Wait, no, Ladybug, not like that...!

By some turn of events, Ladybug and Adrien are fake dating AND Chat Noir and Marinette are, too. Fake Dating^2 (get it?)

Notes:

Inspired by catastrophic affairs, truly by chatuoir (chaserpercy).

Inspired by squares, triangles, and other shapes by demistories.

Both demistories (tumblr user sadrien) and chatuoir (tumblr user chatuoir) have written fics that I couldn't get enough of on chatuoir's wonderful AU idea but alas, they have left me hungering for more since they wouldn't serve me up. So to not starve to death, I thought I'd get a recipe book and whip something up for myself; I made enough to share, so: BON APPETIT

full chapter under the cut

"My Lady, you sure are looking intoxicating tonight, as always."

Paris had seen a quiet night so the voice, though familiar, still startled Ladybug. From her seat at the edge of a building, she looked up at the higher roof above her head. There, Chat Noir was crouched down; he looked like he was ready to pounce.

"Ever the flatterer, Kitty." Ladybug chuckled, rising to her feet and placing her hands on her hips.

Chat Noir jumped down to meet Ladybug where she stood.

"What can I say? You're like catnip, Bugaboo."

Ladybug rolled her eyes while a smirk played on her lips.

"Did you see any suspicious activity on your way over here?" she asked.

Chat Noir pursed his lips before saying, "There was one shady character..."

"Seriously? Then what are we standing around here for?!"

"He wasn't akumatized or anything; he just looked like a lowly thief."

"That's still someone we can stop, Chat! Why didn't you call me over when you saw him?!"

"But he's right here."

"You followed him here?" Ladybug looked down into the street.

"Yeah, but seriously, I wouldn't get worked up over him; he's just trying to steal your heart."

Ladybug turned around slowly, grimacing. Chat Noir was inches away from her at this point, hand stroking his chin while wearing the widest of smirks.

"Chat, stop fooling around! Can't you ever be serious?!"

Chat Noir suddenly sobered up as his smirk was replaced with a tender smile and the wickedness in his eyes vanished. He sauntered forward and grabbed hold of Ladybug's hand; she was rendered immobile by his newfound demeanor.

He opened his mouth and closed it once before saying, "What makes you think I'm not always being serious?"

Ladybug's shoulders were tense and her eyes were wide. Could it really be true? Had all these quips and flattery really been more than just teasing? Chat Noir's eyes held a sincerity that scared Ladybug. This was her partner; the guy she counted on time and time again to catch her when she fell, to lend a hand, to have her back; now he held her hand and she had to put effort into not pulling it away. That would be cruel. She couldn't be cruel to her friend, even if she couldn't return his feelings. Her heart already belonged to Adrien, after all.

All the while of Ladybug's internal monologue, Chat Noir's heart was trying to break out of his chest, surely in an attempt to escape the exposure Chat Noir had given it; it'd be open to any sort of mishandling his lady could do to it. He was aware he hadn't ever been this sincere before; playful flirting was safe and Ladybug could easily dismiss it. But Chat had felt brave tonight. Why had he felt brave?! He saw the unmasked surprise on her face; did he also see panic? Or was he projecting his own panic onto her? Chat Noir concentrated on keeping up his suave persona and not letting his nerves reveal themselves to Ladybug. Would she possibly say she had liked him back all along?

"Chat... I'm sorry but I have a boyfriend."

And there it is; Ladybug had stabbed his heart.

"Who?" he breathed. A knee-jerk response; why would Ladybug tell him who her boyfriend was? Chat Noir knew how important their secret identities were.

"A-Adrien Agreste!" she stammered.

Chat Noir blinked. She told him. She actually told him. Not only did she tell him, she lied.

"Adrien," Chat Noir repeated.

Blood rushed to Ladybug's cheeks. She knew there was no going back now.

"Y-Yeah! Adrien."

"Adrien Agreste."

"Yes, Adrien Agreste."

"The model."

"Is there another Adrien Agreste?" Ladybug was getting annoyed.

Chat Noir grinned from ear to ear.

"So you're really going out with Adrien Agreste?"

"Yeah! Of course!"

"Since when?"

"A few weeks!"

"Is that so?"

"Of course it's so!"

Ladybug knew he didn't believe her. But he can't know she had lied to him! Especially after so many times of telling Chat Noir how much she hated liars.

Chat Noir was both ecstatic and a little hurt. Obviously Ladybug did not have a boyfriend considering he was Adrien and, last time he checked, wasn't in any sort of relationship with the girl he had been pining after that entire year. And if she did, she would have said something like "Chat, revealing my boyfriend's identity would reveal mine." Unless, of course, she was dating a guy as her superheroine alter ego... But that'd be stupid. None of that mattered, though, because Ladybug had lied!

Ladybug had lied to him! To him! Had she tried to let him down easy? Ouch. She broke her own moral code, and to Chat Noir! They're friends, he could've handled a rejection! Well, no, that's not true...

How could Ladybug not see they were meant for each other? Maybe he could make her see they were meant for each other...

"Well, it's nice to know I'm not the only one of the dynamic duo who's taken..." Chat Noir said, turning away with a smile.

Ladybug's eyes bugged out.

"What? You've got a girlfriend?" Ladybug was kicking herself; she had put herself in such a mess when he had a girlfriend all along!

"Yeah, I do. She's crazy about me." Chat Noir flexed as he said so.

"Who?"

"I just said; my girlfriend."

"Okay, but who's your girlfriend."

Chat Noir hadn't thought that far.

"You wanna know who my girlfriend is?"

"Yes, Chat. I told you who I'm seeing, now you tell me who you're seeing."

"Who I'm seeing...?"

Ladybug frowned, "I've gotta know what kind of girl is okay with a boyfriend who goes around flirting with other people."

"A girl who knows none of it is real; just playing."

Ladybug's eyebrows pulled closer together.

"What's her name?"

"Her name."

"Yes?"

"Is..."

"Yes?"

"Marinette!"

Ladybug blinked.

He's lying! How could he lie to her?! About her?! But she had lied, too... But why was he lying? Why did he say he had a girlfriend in the first place? What's his reason to lie? She had to know. But she can't ask him! He'd know she's Marinette if she called him out on his dishonesty! Wait, would he? Act natural, cool it, cool it...

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng?" she asked.

"The one and only," Chat Noir replied.

"Since when?"

"Since a few weeks ago!"

"A few weeks ago?"

Chat Noir could tell how incredulous she sounded.

"Yeah, and we wanted to keep it under wraps, my being savior of Paris and all."

"Savior of Paris?"

"Fine," Chat Noir feigned a sigh, "co-savior, of Paris..."

"How strange that I never saw any hint of attraction between you and that girl..." Ladybug had her tongue in her cheek.

"Like I said, under wraps... I'm surprised model boy Adrien hasn't had any paparazzi pics of him with the other co-savior of Paris," Chat Noir crossed his arms.

"W-We've been keeping it under wraps, too."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, it's so."

Ladybug and Chat Noir were glaring at each other, as if both were challenging the other to question the validity of their claims. They were soon interrupted by Ladybug's miraculous beeping in warning of her form's soon approaching regression.

"I've gotta go..." Ladybug said, scowling.

"Say hi to your boyfriend, for me," Chat Noir called as she swung away on her yo-yo.

A moment passed before both mentally screamed, "What the hell did I just get myself into?!"