#interest & (if we become official) loyalty

[scrawlingwithstyle]

My anxiety about this coming date is getting worse.

I've managed to stave off the "Is he just being nice or is he actually interested?" thoughts with memories of "For Now," and him telling his parents (in front of me!) that I make "really good Italian food." (I cooked for him once before we went on any dates; it was a group gathering & I volunteered to cook dinner. It was pasta with besciamella, kielbasa, & broccoli.)

But now I'm anxious in the "time is moving too slow" kind of way, and the "what if I do or say something stupid/clingy/weird and he loses interest" kind of way.

So I used my extra energy to clean the more public parts of my house in case he ends up coming in, ESPECIALLY since one of my cats has had near-consistant diarrhea for a few months (we've gone to the vet but they say nothing is wrong that would cause it) and I really don't want it to smell. 😬

Tomorrow I'm tackling the bathroom bc if he's coming in there's a good chance he'll use the bathroom. The sink is a cluttered mess, on top of everything else.

[alfedena]

People do not realize that when we say Israel is a settler-colonial state, we mean it was literally devised in junction with European imperialism around the turn of the century.

Political Zionism was founded by Theodore Herzl. Originally, Zionists were not specifically interested in the land of Palestine as a colonial project. In fact, Herzl was debating making Argentina the focus of mass Zionist migration, which is quite ironic considering Argentina's colonial and Aryanist past. British-controlled Uganda was also offered as a possibility by Joseph Chamberlain, a Conservative imperialist.

To encourage mass Jewish migration to Palestine, he worked with the British, who had recently drove the Ottoman Empire out of the Levant, and now boasted political dominance in the region, thanks to the Sykes–Picot Agreement between the UK, France, Italy, and Russia which covertly authorized British influence in Palestine, which had become a target of colonial expansion. He specifically wished to collaborate with Cecil Rhodes, a British imperialist who played a lead role in colonizing Zimbabwe and Zambia, and later took inspiration from his time spent extracting wealth from Africa as the founder of mining conglomerate the British South Africa Company.

Herzl’s personal goals for Zionism were colonial. He said in a letter to Rhodes:

“You are being invited to help make history. It doesn’t involve Africa, but a piece of Asia Minor; not Englishmen but Jews […] How, then, do I happen to turn to you since this is an out-of-the-way matter for you? How indeed? Because it is something colonial […] I […] have examined this plan and found it correct and practicable. It is a plan full of culture, excellent for the group of people for whom it is directly designed, and quite good for England, for Greater Britain [...]”

At that time, Palestine was predominately populated with Arab Muslims and Christians, as well as Arab Jews (Old Yishuv) and Druze. Jews made up around 6% of the population. The Ottoman government specifically released a manifesto at the start of Zionist migration condemning the colonization, stating:

“[Jews] among us […] who have been living in our province since before the war; they are as we are, and their loyalties are our own.”

The Balfour Declaration of 1917 on behalf of parliament, officially established the British Mandate of Palestine, sowing the seeds for the modern state of Israel, by means of the UK's ongoing occupation of the region.

Zionism was never about promoting Jewish culture or safety; it has always been tied up in Western (settler-)colonial expansion. !من النهر إلى البحر

[black-lake]

astro observations 7

hey everyone, got some new observations and random astro thoughts 👽 🔭

——

🧊 The strongest aspects to the nodes in terms how obvious their effect can be, are squares then trines esp with tight orbs. They strongly activate the planet involved and the effect becomes very clear in how things unfold or manifest. e.g sun square or tine nn is more obvious to others, their personality is much more vibrant and noticeable. The conj/opp aspects are stronger but tricky to see, because they can mean something personal to the native, something karmic or unpredictable, like two people can have that aspect but have it manifest completely differently.

🧊 Saturn 11th could mean having to learn many of your life lessons through the internet or social media. Could be by observing people online and learning new things. These natives have felt alone majority of their lives and social media kept their company. May go through difficult experiences, like online bullying or feel rejected online. They eventually learn the sweet nonchalance and the importance of self love, that they don't care when people leave them or dislike them, because the ones that are meant to stay will stay. (This may apply to ppl w a stellium in the 11th, or chiron 11th).

🧊 Those who have saturn-nn aspects may have been involved with the law/governments or have fought for something that has to do with legal matters and order. Especially for or against their family. They aren't afraid to take it to court if it means regaining their rights. They tend to win cases because they have a strong sense of justice. If negatively aspected or dealt with, they may need to watch out for that, or for their need to put someone down using the law.

🧊 Venus in aries woman also like the friends before lovers dynamic, just like aqua. They prefer to be friends with guys first and can flirt with them until it evolves into a relationship. They’re also comfortable with masculine energy way more than feminine so they tend to make friends with boys a lot. Also they're not impulsive in love as they're said to be, if they choose someone it's because they found that physical chemistry, passion, youthfulness, independence, and loyalty in them, which they rarely do and they'd rather stay solo.

🧊 Thinking about how astrology signs and houses have a connection to our body, like from aries or 1st being the head, taurus or 2nd being the neck, gemini or 3rd being arms hands, cancer or 4th being the chest area, leo or 5th being the heart space, virgo or 6th being the stomach area, libra or 7th being the kidneys and lower back, scorpio or 8th being the the genitals, sagittarius or 9th being the thighs, capricorn or 10th being the knees and other bones, aquarius or 11th being the calves and ankles, and all the way down to pisces or 12th being the feet. I just find it fascinating. I know there are other body parts ruled by these signs, but I'm particularly pointing at the way it goes in order, from head to feet which is really interesting to think about, like how coincidental could that be? it makes it real.

🧊 Through learning more about astrology and how it relates to body parts, you can use that to heal and soothe your body. If you have pisces in your chart you may benefit from soaking your feet in water with salt or soap for stress relief, and grounding, being in water in general, music and rhythms could be healing too. If you have capricorn you may like to run a lot, exercise a better posture, chiropractic treatment, spend money on skincare and your dental care. If you have Leo placements, take care of your generous heart, your hair, go outside and get you vitamin d, massage your shoulders and upper back. I can do a whole post about that.

🧊 Speaking of that ��� I think there is so much more undiscovered in astrology. Way more info that is waiting to be discovered. We haven't been discovering much lately. I mean uranus was discovered in the 700s, neptune 800s, pluto 900s, and these were the official discoveries. The more we discover planets, galaxies or other yet to name objects, the more we discover things about our lives, and how everything in the universe is connected and affects our experience on earth. I just wanna reincarnate 700 years later and see to what extent things evolved, or maybe that's a short period. 

🧊 What if aliens are studying earth as an outer planet which may mean something particular to them just like we study say Jupiter and Saturn as planets with certain themes. Who knows what’s going on up there. But yeah this page is getting weirder by the day... I- sry 👀

🧊 I’m one of those that would skip the big three and jump right at north node aspects fr (all including minor aspects). I want to know a person’s life journey and potential before their personality traits. It can tell a lot about destiny, what comes naturally to us and where we need growth and even about our past lives. 

🧊 Consider meghan stallion whose chart I recently saw. The moment I saw it, I thought it couldn't be more fitting and clear. With mercury square nn, she had a urge to use her voice early on, her mercury is something that should be utilized, she raps and writes music. Mercury conjunct uranus, it's the unique ability to sing, rap and make music, a creative mind. Pallas opposite nn, she got a lot of natural charisma with her talents, she radiates confidence and strength which makes her liked. (also pallas-nn aspects can make someone influential). Venus sextile nn, she is well liked and has a lot of charm, she may do smth related to beauty. 

🧊 I don’t usually consider cusps in astrology when it comes to signs, it depends on whether I see the influence or not, I rarely do. But I def look at house cusps (especially asc, dsc, mc and ic). That axis, the end of a house and the beginning of the next is so important to look at, not just degrees but planets there. When planets are at the cusp of a house (up to 7°), it influences both houses i noticed. e.g. If saturn is on the cusp of the 8th and 9th then both houses are significant to look at, it could mean lessons related to studies, resources, travel, inner transformation, connections.. etc. Same with saturn on the cusp of the 11th and 12th, lessons related to friendships, hopes and dreams, the collective, loneliness, spirituality... etc. 

🧊 Planets conj/opp your asc or mc are a big part of how you appear to the world. They can overpower your asc or mc signs at times especially before you introduce yourself and have a proper talk with someone. Once they know you personally they'll pick up on the ascendant sign traits. Strangers or the ones that don’t know you will pick up on the planet's energy before the sign. e.g. if you have uranus conjunct asc or mc, no matter the ascendant your uranus qualities will be more visible to others. If you have more than one planet conj/opp then you could give off different impressions to different people. I have uranus conjunct mc and pluto opposite ascendant, I've had some see me as eccentric, detached and some others as mysterious, powerful. This applies to planets in 1st and 10th.

🧊 The most difficult moon signs are capricorn, scorpio, aquarius and virgo. They know what it feels like to be emotionally drained, yet empty. They'd rather not show emotion, even scorpios don't show a fraction of the range of emotions they experience. They deal with it differently, but they all put on a cold front, even with themselves, seeming unemotional, especially the saturians. They sometimes don’t know how to show the depth, wisdom and caring heart they have, but they damn sure know how to work hard and be that special person. They add so much to the world but they don’t feel like they fairly get any back. Each of these signs have distinct traits of their own but I applaud y’all. The most interesting to observe truly. 

🧊 Also with these moon signs, their mother may have been a challenging figure in their lives, she may have been either critical, controlling, egoistical, cold or just absent in some way. They likely didn't have an easy childhood to say the least.

🧊 The moon is what we inherit from the mother and it's exactly how we develop those traits, and how we essentially... treat her back. So if the mommy of a cap moon child thought she could be overbearing, cold and expect the unexpected from her child, she can be met with an advanced level of coldness and authority from her grown child, thanks to her. Same with a virgo moon child's mother, if she thought she could be critical and compare them to literally anything and judge the hell out of their existence, they would give her a neat taste of her medicine, sharper criticism backed with better facts. The mother also learns a lot from her children through their moon sign. This applies to all moons.

🧊 I noticed that scorpio placements don't find it easy to change or let go of things (unless they have many pluto aspects). I met many scorpio ppl and they tend to hold on to the past, tightly. Many of them told me they hate moving out. It depends on other placements tho, if mixed with capricorn or earth, they are sooo traditional and stubborn my god. If mixed with air, they're less to hold on. Pluto placements and aspects are the actual phoenixes, they embrace every part of their transformation process, they burn things to ashes and emerge stronger, I love seeing it.

🧊 Every time I meet a pisces moon person, they have some unusual quirks to them. They can have this awkward yet charismatic behavior, like wtf was that, but you stare at their watery eyes. Pisces moon men esp, the weirdest sense of humor 🤚s down, but you can't help it cuz it's cute. Which is why they can trick and manipulate you cuz you thought they were innocent *pleading emoji*.  

🧊 Quintiles and bi-quintiles give me an aquarius vibe, they hold such a unique energy to them, a different connection between the planets. Quintiles to the nodes or mc, it's so refreshing and special whatever that quality you got, it may even be addictive to others (sun, venus, neptune quintile nn). Check if you have asteroids quintile the nodes, you may benefit from tapping in to the potential they hold and utilizing it.

🧊 Whatever house pluto is in it’s where you got power that you needed to learn to take back. It was gained eventually through being taken away from you or not seen by you. The power of realizing the effect you have over the themes of a certain house which activates it.

🧊 Some examples, pluto 10th, how people see you publicly may not be who you are at home. The accusations or assumptions, the jealousy and maybe even manipulations about your career choices made you feel powerless at times but it’s where your power lies. As soon as they discover that it's up to them to decide who they are publicly, they take back that power and show up in the public as an unstoppable force, changing the world. Pluto 7th, the constant mirroring of people’s shadows, the projections, the lies or manipulations that happened in their relationships made the native feel powerless in connections and over the way they see or present themselves. Once they embrace the way they appear and connect with others, a new sense of strength and power is awakened in them and they radiate that even more strongly, this time unapologetically. 

---

bonus - asteroids obs ⚛︎

🧊 People that have charisma (627) in a fire sign stand out when they're taking action, they naturally radiate that leadership vibe, others expect them to take imitative with things especially if it's in aries, they have that youthful go getter vibe. If it's in leo they're seen as very influential and others follow their lead. If in sag they're seen as funny and joyous to be around, everyone wants to be with them. 

🧊 Asteroid aura (1488) can show you what colors and styles look good on you, check the sign, degree and house. If it's in an earth sign, those earthy colors, greens, browns, formal, vintage. dark academia styles. If in a fire sign, those fiery vibrant colors, colorful sparkly makeup, casual yet bold looks. In an air sign, classy or street looks, patterns and accessories, youthful styles. If in a water sign, dreamy flowy fabrics, neutral colors, blues and purples, jewels.

🧊 Also check the planets it aspects, say aura is in pisces conj saturn then you can incorporate those dreamy looks in a saturnian typa way, e.g. I imagine a man in a bright silk shirt with brown vintage pants, a matching jacket, and a pearl choker, something ethereal but earthy at the same time. 

🧊 Asteroid sirene (1009) in scorpio, aspecting pluto or in the 8th could make someone have an extremely alluring presence like you would want to stare for long to understand their vibes but you won't. I also find it alluring if it's in capricorn, aquarius or pisces. 

🧊 Asteroid meesters (10647) and talent (33154) in aquarius or the 11th could mean creating or inventing something new in your field, having or mastering a unique or rare skill. This can also mean recognition for a unique talent. Aspecting nn can mean you mastered some talents in a past life or will in this life.

-- I had these for so long in my notes, but I just felt inspired to post, forgive me. 🐯🫶

[minnarr]

REFERENCE POST: very minor characters of Word of Honor

I originally gathered these blorbos together for a presentation called "Writing in the Margins: finding story in the minor characters of Word of Honor" (sometimes, in a pinch, I title slide deck party presentations like a paper because it's easy). My criteria for this presentation was that I wanted to highlight characters to whom a lot of people's reaction would be, "Who?" So characters like Gu Miaomiao and Gao Xiaolian and Deng Kuan, while my beloveds, are not here because they are just a bit too present in the story.

Why should you click through and read? Well, honestly, I'm adapting this as a resource for fellow fic writers who just want some folks to help flesh out the world. This post is divided into three sections: Chengling's Generation, Tianchaung's Orbit, and The Previous Generation. There's so much just going on in the background; let's take a look.

Chengling's Generation

Mu Yunge

Introduction: Episode 5* Suggested Episodes: 5, 7

* by "introduction", I mean the episode in which their name card appears, officially introducing them; for some characters, as with Mu Yunge, their first appearance in the show happens before that point

Mu Yunge is an interesting inclusion because I don't like him. He's pretty much there to suck, and then die. He's here for two reasons. One, he does a lot to flesh out his world; two, he's in the boyband in the concert they did after Word of Honor wrapped, and that is my favorite part.

I'm really only going to address the first one here. Oh, Mu Yunge. He's there to show how the Department of the Unfaithful operates, and how very present the violent misogyny they address still is in his world. He's also (to all appearances) a young man in good standing in the martial arts world. Deng Kuan is close enough to him that he's selected as one of the friends to take part in the deathmatch in his name. What does this say about the young men of that generation? And his death also has echoes in the background drama in the show: Mu Siyuan (his dad) becomes a loud voice against the ghosts and later Gao Chong.

Zhu Yaozhi

Introduction: 3 Suggested Episodes: 7, 14, & 24

Zhu Yaozhi is fascinating to me because he is such an encapsulation of what Word of Honor does with its larger plot. Because, like, there's all these moving pieces and a lot of them are moving in the background and the main characters don't really notice or give a shit, but they're definitely moving along arcs that make sense from their point of view.

This guy is a disciple of Yueyang Sect, Gao Chong's sect (along with Deng Kuan); we see him multiple times just doing kind of grunt work/investigation for them, most notably when he follows up on the guy Gu Xiang beat up for harrassing musicians and then is apologetic and embarrassed for believing his side of the story (episode 7). He's also buddies with Mo Weixu, Cao Weining's shixiong, and teases Cao Weining to him. (See this gifset for part of the scene in question, from episode 14). Early Zhu Yaozhi is a goofball who's just doing his job.

After Gao Chong's disgrace, he goes searching for Gao Xiaolian and we lose track of him until he turns up again in ep 24 being menaced by Mu Siyuan. Mu Siyuan wants him to say his master was evil and colluded with the ghosts, and Zhu Yaozhi refuses and tries to punch him. It's great. It also gives us Shen Shen to the rescue in the middle of his own loyalty/figuring out how to be truly righteous arc. I have a lot of feelings about this. He's such a useful character for showing us what Yueyang Sect is like and what becomes of it after Gao Chong dies.

Song Huairen (L) & Xie Wuyang (R)

Introduction: SHR: 5 / XWY: 8 Suggested Episodes: SHR: 5 / XWY: 9, 17

I've paired these because they're both Xie Wang’s competition, young men who also call Zhao Jing yifu. They are both disciples of Yueyang Sect; Song Huairen is supposed to be a favored disciple of Gao Chong. Xie Wang eliminates him the same night we meet him and plays it off to Zhao Jing as the shell game with the Glazed Armor going wrong.

Xie Wuyang meanwhile starts off as a character who makes Zhang Chengling’s life at Yueyang uncomfortable—up to and including whipping him during training. Very satisfyingly, Gu Xiang knocks him out when he’s giving Chengling a hard time in episode 11. Later on, after Zhao Jing has settled in at Yueyang, Xie Wuyang serves him in his private rooms doing stuff like giving him manicures. 

Mo Weixu

Introduction: 14 Suggested Episodes: 14, 26-28

Mo Weixu is the son of Mo Huaiyang (Cao Weining's horrible shifu) and Cao Weining's da-shixiong. When he first appears, he scolds Cao Weining for having no ambition but then shoos him off to check on Gu Xiang anyway, and we see this mix of sternness-as-concern and indulgence continue. He's kind to Gu Xiang, and helps guide her through greeting their shishu Fan Huaikong properly, but he also warns Cao Weining that she might not be everything she appears. He's kind of the level-headed ballast to Cao Weining's naivete and worries about him.

Mo Weixu is not at Cao Weining's wedding. Mo Huaiyang says he had to cleanse his sect because his disciple and shidi were bewitched by Gu Xiang. However, in episode 36, Xie Wang specifically says that they never found Mo Weixu's body, even though they definitely found Fan Huaikong's. Fellow fic writers: you know what that means.

Tianchuang's Orbit

Bi Xingming (L) & Cheng Zichen (R)

Introduction: 31 Suggested Episodes: 31

Disciples of Siji hidden in Tianchuang! These two were both taken as disciples by men within Tianchuang and took their surnames; Bi Xingming’s first shifu is Bi Changfeng, the guy who took the nails in episode 1. Cheng Zichen's is a guy called Cheng Xiu. They show up in like one episode but I’m obsessed with them. They lead the party of Tianchuang ducklings who rescue Zhou Zishu and then get inducted into Siji as Zhou Zishu’s disciples. Bi Xingming is specifically shown to be very eager about this, but is told he’ll have to wait to have a ceremony about it till his shixiong Chengling comes back.

Princess Jing'an

Introduction: 1 Suggested Episodes: 1

Talk about one-scene wonders—Princess Jing'an left an impression on me. What kind of past interactions does it imply that she calls Zhou Zishu Zhou-shixiong, but he doesn't know she and Jiuxiao were in love? I have questions and I want to answer them. Also even in her like 2 minutes of screentime we see her sharp and defiant and angry and it makes me want to write her SO bad.

Qingluan

Introduction: [N/A] Suggested Episodes: 30

She is literally mentioned in like 1 or 2 lines in episode 30 so she’s less fascinating for her Word of Honor appearance than for how she is mentioned here paired with her role in Qi Ye (the novel that's the prequel to the novel SHL is based on): In Qi Ye, Su Qingluan (originally named Su Cui'r) is a beauty who becomes part of the crown prince party, gets caught working against them, and is confined to a house as Helian Yi’s concubine for the foreseeable future.

In Word of Honor, she’s one of the people (the list also includes Zhou Zishu, Yunxing, Qin Jiuxiao, and Jing Beiyuan) who swore together in her courtyard to make Jinwang emperor, which implies a much more active role in their party than in Qi Ye. We also know she killed herself before the events of canon (or at least as far as Jinwang knows; in the same section, Zhou Zishu says that Jinwang poisoned Jing Beiyuan to death with a straight face). This seems to be part of the whole party splintering over time. Once more: implied story, free real estate (jazz hands).

Jing Beiyuan's six siblings

At one point Jing Beiyuan justifies being called Qi Ye (Lord Seventh) by saying he's the seventh kid in his generation. (There's a different, much more absurd, justification in the novels). I take him at his word just because that's the funniest option. I don't have more to say beyond just:

Six

SIX!!!!!!

are they worse than him? are they normal?

just

SIX

The Previous Generation

Qin-furen

Introduction: [N/A] Suggested Episodes: 12, 24

SIDEBAR: the moms. The dads have SO much narrative weight in the story in ways that most of the moms really don’t—they’re often nameless or fully invisible—so I leap at even the tiniest mentions of what they’re like and think a lot about them. Qin-furen’s the only one who really lands in the sweet spot for this post: enough info to play with and not make a total OC, not enough screentime that I expect to find many fics with her.

This is the wife of Qin Huaizhang, Zhou Zishu’s shifu. She’s mentioned in just a handful of lines and unnamed. She rescued rabbits and apparently was fearsome with her husband about it. She was friends with Chengling’s mom, who had a similar dynamic with her husband, according to Chengling. In episode 12, Zhou Zishu says, “I wanted to practice martial arts when I was a child. Sometimes, when my master forced me to play, I would seek help from his wife. She always stood by my side and criticized my master.” I have spent a truly stupid amount of time looking at her gravestone trying to glean info, and I’m still not really sure what we should be calling her.

Yue Feng'er

Introduction: 19 Suggested Episodes: 19

The eldest disciple of her generation at Healer Valley and the wife of Rong Xuan. She rough-houses with Shen Shen and is known by her own title as well as being the eldest of the Three Heroes of Healers Valley. She’s presumably well-known in the martial arts world, and woven right into the web of friendships that started off all this tragedy. And she also loved her husband so fiercely that when he was poisoned she used a forbidden technique and took the heart out of a living man to try to heal him. She’s a powerful healer and at least as much a monster as he is and I like her so much.

[slutisnotabadword]

I decided that I’mma take a big step back from the 911 fandom, because if last episode has taught me anything is that you guys have forgot to enjoy the show you’re watching.

As soon as the episode is over, all I’m seeing is unnecessary Tommy hate, people giving up on Buddie and people criticizing people for giving up, people saying Karen is oc, and that Eddie was acting out of character, and blah blah blah, and like all of you are wrong LMAO.

I think the problem is that everyone is watching this show with the expectation of watching the entire’s show’s future in one episode. Y’all want everything now, and it’s just not gonna happen like that, and on top of that, y’all want everything to be what y’all expected. So, let me crush that shit for you.

NO, they’re not gonna bring up Tommy’s past. They actually don’t give a fuck about what that man did, and you know why? Because the producers of whoever on this show literally called up Lou and was like “Hey, we need someone to be Buck’s boyfriend, wanna do it?” And that mf was like “Yeah, sure why not.” That’s most likely what happened. You know why? Because Tommy is only gonna be here for a very short time, so who gives a flying fuck. And Tommy in episode 5 wasn’t even that damn bad. Eddie acted the same way in the other cursed episode years ago. The only difference I would say about them is that Eddie expects Buck to believe in curses because he known him longer, so now it’s more endearing and induces playful banter. And with Tommy, this relationship with Buck is more new and his irritation comes from a place of genuine annoyance, instead of more endearing like Eddie. That’s it! That does not mean that Tommy is the devil’s incarnate, calm down.

NO, Eddie isn’t going to bust out the rainbow flag and touch nipples with Buck in one episode. ESPECIALLY now. Look, I want Buddie to happen, more than the next person. But this is Eddie Diaz we’re talking about. Eddie has a lot of shit to work through, and I’ll be honest with you, we probably won’t see Buddie become official until around the end of season 8. It’s the hard truth, but take comfort in knowing that this is indeed Eddie’s season—hence, the plethora of photo shoots and spotlight this man had recently.

NO, the characters weren’t oc. Karen had the right to be upset that Hen was always missing out on their family’s big moments, and from the fact that Hen doesn’t really try her hardest to take off of work. In my opinion, I think that’s a great way to open up the topic of the 118 becoming everything for these characters—like Hen, Bobby, Buck, Eddie, Chim—that they would forget that they have family at home, because the 118 is also their family, as well. no i mean, is that so hard to consider? They work these 24 hour shifts, and even sometimes longer and go through these traumatic events all the time. Of course there’s going to be some intense loyalty and bonds that would seem to “overshadow” what they have at home. That is actually a very interesting plot direction the writers could explore.

I could go on and on about the wild takes in the 911 fandom, because there’s just so many that I didn’t realize before. But can we all please, genuinely, shut the fuck up. Like for two seconds and enjoy our show. Because let me tell you what’s happening, you guys are theorizing yourselves TO DEATH. You guys are creating these wild expectations and you are setting yourselves up for disappointment. It’s good to hope for the things you want and sometimes it’s fun to theorize, but TAKE A BREATH. Because we are starting to look like crazy people, and let me remind you that these people SEE THE SHIT YOU’RE SAYING. You don’t think Oliver, Kenny, whoever the fuck is watching you rant on and on about how Tommy is a bastard and complaining that Eddie’s not gay yet. Get y’all shit together because it’s starting to look embarrassing and WEIRD.

[acourtofthought]

Post inspired by a conversation had with @acourtdelaluna

To this day there are readers who still insist Bryce and Hunt are not true mates because they don't feel the authenticity of their mating bond the same way they feel for Feysands.

To this day there are readers who still don't think Nesta and Cassian should stay together because they don't feel he acts the way a mated male should, that after their bond snapped he still puts Rhys first at times.

Readers have come to expect a mated male to behave the way Rhys did for Feyre, where he puts her above all else (even his court) and the only one who could really offer that to Elain is Lucien.

Az like Cassian reports to Rhys, has to defer to Rhys. Azriel is now extremely close to Nesta. So what happens when Nesta is upset with Elain, what happens when she's upset over something Elain said or is setting out to do? Where will Az's true loyalties lie? We already saw how he agreed with Nesta in SF when she said she didn't want Elain near the trove. What happens when Az is torn between Elain and Rhys, are we going to see him side with Rhys the way we at times saw Cassian side with Rhys? He already chose to avoid Elain for 5+ months at Rhys's command, never choosing to explain to Elain why he called her a mistake on Solstice.

I'm not even mad at Cassian for siding with Rhys at times, I understand why he did but I don't think it can be denied that it becomes complicated when loyalties are divided between a love interest and High Lord, a love interest and a friend and I imagine we'd definitely see some of that if E/riel were to happen and Az was worried about upsetting Nesta and Elain, not entirely sure how to appeal to both. You wouldn't have that with Az and Gwyn because Nesta adores Gwyn, thinks that she is good at everything, encourages her to do more in a way she never has with Elain. Nesta is one of Gwyn's biggest cheerleaders and we already saw Az believing in her in SF so there's less chance that we'd see conflict between the three of them.

Elain and Lucien is the most Feysand like setup we've seen since Feysand though.

Lucien hadn't even officially met Elain yet he was willing to leave his home in the Spring Court to find her.

He hadn't even met Elain yet he was willing to ingore the orders Rhys and Feyre gave him about not going to the library or speaking with her.

"If you require a book from the library, you will ask the servants. If you wish to speak to Elain, you will also ask the servants who will ask us. If you disregard those rules, I'll lock you in a room with Amren."

Lucien has shown that he's not afraid to defy Rhys and Feyre's orders, to talk back to Nesta as he did when she told him to get a book and get out but instead did not get a book (a subtle defiance) and said, "she needs fresh air." To which Nesta replied, "We'll judge what she needs." and he said, "Take her to the sea. Take her to some garden. But get her out of this house for an hour or two." He did not let Nesta's wrath stand in the way of delivering the message he wanted to deliver for Elain's well being.

When it comes to Elain, nobody is more important to Lucien than Elain. He is willing to go against rules for her (we saw it as early as ACOMAF when he broke free of Hyberns shackles to go to her side), he isn't concerned with playing nice with Nesta over her, he won't have to bow down to the orders of another HL over her.

Rhys never had to worry about loyalties when it came to Feyre and that's why their story launched the ACOTAR series way out into orbit as Sarah's most popular.

Elain and Lucien's setup already mimics that (the MMC putting her happiness above all else even if it means she'd be happier with another and his loyalty belonging to her and only her), and their love story could be the best we've had since ACOMAF.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

so this post is inspired by a person who sent an ask to @my-nitpicking-self (i hope you don't mind me tagging you), who mentioned the confrontation between katara and zuko in atla, in reference to glimmer's and catra's relationship in spop. i thought it was an interesting comparison, so i'm going to expand on it.

so two very similar scenes in atla and spop: katara and zuko being stuck together in crystal catacombs and glimmer and catra being stuck together in horde prime's ship. two things to note here - zuko was beginning to heal at this point and had almost completely given up his mission of capturing aang, while catra has just finished conquering salineas and was neck-deep in villainy.

as soon as katara sees zuko, she becomes outraged. keep in mind, zuko did not kill katara's mother. but she still had a valid reason to be mad at him. she holds him accountable for everything he has done.

K: Why did they throw you in here? Oh, wait, let me guess. It's a trap. So that when Aang shows up to help me, you can finally have him in your little Fire Nation clutches!

K: You're a terrible person! You know that? Always following us! Hunting the Avatar! Trying to capture the world's last hope for peace! But what do you care? You're the Fire Lord's son. Spreading war and violence and hatred is in your blood!

Z: You don't know what you're talking about.

K: I don't? How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through! Me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

here, zuko doesn't try to argue with katara until she implies that violence and aggression is an inherited thing, because he's from the fire nation. zuko accepts his mistakes but he is also aware that being a fire nation citizen or even royalty alone doesn't make you a bad person. even then, he doesn't raise his voice or lash out at her, he just calmly disagrees.

after katara mentions her mother, he apologizes and sympathizes with her.

Z: I'm sorry. That's something we have in common.

K: I'm sorry I yelled at you before.

Z: It doesn't matter.

K: It's just that for so long now, whenever I would imagine the face of the enemy, it was your face.

katara also apologizes but zuko understands that it was completely in her right to blame him. and then we get to the crux of the issue. katara's mother was killed years ago but she still hasn't been able to move on from the grief.

now, of course, zuko again turns back to villainy but this was an important confrontation. and it wasn't the only one. as you all know, after zuko's official redemption, the gaang still doesn't trust him and katara is the last person to forgive him. she is still upset and disappointed by the way he betrayed her after they had begun to bond in the catacombs. and zuko has to prove his loyalty before katara could forgive him.

now let's come to glimmer and catra. catra DIRECTLY caused the death of glimmer's mother. and it was recent. glimmer had been grappling with her grief in the last season, to the point where she spirals into a small corruption arc. s4 of spop does NOT forget angella's death.

so obviously, you would expect there to be a confrontation between glimmer and catra in s5, especially since they were alone together in a confined space. but let's see what happened.

Glimmer: You again. Why do you keep coming back here?

Catra: Just...bored, I guess.

Glimmer: No, I mean, Horde Prime told you not to talk to me. He's gonna catch you eventually. Why risk it? ...You're lonely, aren't you?

so far, no confrontation, no apology.

Catra: What do you know? You're the prisoner here. I can go where I want. So, stay here by yourself for all I care.

Glimmer: Okay, okay, you're right. It...helps having someone to talk to. Even if you're the last person I'd ever want to be stuck here with.

Catra: Trust me, Sparkles, the feeling is mutual.

and just like that, they're on better terms now. glimmer doesn't bring up angella's death, she doesn't bring up the way catra treated adora, how she and bow were kidnapped by catra, nothing. they seem more like casual rivals than enemies here. catra doesn't seem guilty in the slightest, she just has to threaten to leave and glimmer immediately makes her stay.

and not just that, they joke about adora's paranoia that was rooted in her trauma, as if it's just a fun quirk. at this point, it's clear that the writers are not even trying to make it seem like they don't favor catra over all the characters.

and the one time glimmer somewhat confronts catra—

G: Please, Catra. Do one good thing in your life!

C: Don't talk to me like you know me! You don't know anything about me!

of course, catra shuts her down immediately. and afterwards, even when catra saves glimmer, she makes it clear that she's only doing it for adora. while on the surface, this might still come off as a good deed, it's clear from her later behaviour that catra's goal wasn't to help either adora or glimmer. my best guess is that she was practically awaiting death at that point and didn't expect to face the consequences of her actions, so she wanted to go out with one good deed, much like shadow weaver.

it's crazy how zuko, who was just an antagonist and has done very little to directly hurt the gaang, faced the consequences of his actions and got a drawn out and detailed redemption; while catra, who spent the entire series hurting the protagonists out of her own interest, gets off scot-free.

any time her past actions are brought up, they are mentioned in the vaguest terms possible i.e. “she made some mistakes” or “shs hurt people”. it's so clear that the writers were hoping that if the other characters forgot everything that catra did, the audience would do the same. and the worst part is that they're right. 90% of the fandom were willing to accept catra's redemption because no one in the show ever holds her accountable or confronts her properly.

[desswright29]

Don’t Leave

A/N:Here y’all go! 😉

Contains: ANGST, ANGST, ANGST, Shuri is spiraling. Word count:4k +

Pairing: Shuri X Black Fem Reader

SHAME PT.5

Prestent Day

Shuri’s POV 

I chased her. I chased Y/n, knowing I didn’t have my full heart to give. After coronation, I went to pursue her. I gave her about a month to cool off, while still maintaining my relationship with Eve. Yea, I know. What the hell were you thinking Shuri? Why Shuri? Easy answer. I was thinking about me, and it’s what I wanted. 

My relationship with Eve in hindsight couldn’t really be called that. It was very obvious early on that I wasn’t interested in men. So, Eve being the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, caught my attention easily. Obviously, there were an elite few who really got close with Wakandan royalty. Her father was leader of the Jabari tribe, and she often would end up at the palace with her father when the council would meet. Her mother had died during child birth so Mama felt a certain responsibility to Eve, since she had no mother figure. So, often the palace was where she’d spent most of her time. As we grew older Eve grew more beautiful. It was hard not to fall for her. Unfortunately, Eve was not likable to the majority. Often using her connection with the royal family to claim her superiority. But, she was good to me. We laughed, we played, we talked, and then we kissed. My 18th birthday we made it official. She went on to become a model, and we slowly fell apart. But we were comfortable with one another. She’d been through so much with me that I’d always felt that sense of loyalty to her. Until Y/n.

Y/n was, and still is very much my equal. Compatible with me in every way. I’d even go as far as saying she’s better than me, in most ways. No one would ever be able to compare. To be fair there’s not a lot of Megastar super genius singer/ scientist, that were beautiful enough to heal nations around, and could make me laugh until my belly ached, and I lost her. Let her slip right through my fucking fingers. Thinking back on those years I can’t help but feel ashamed. The way I handled everything caused so much unnecessary pain. I should’ve taken the time out to heal. Instead, I chased. I’d chased what felt good to me. I was so tender, so wounded inside; It was easier to lean into what made me comfortable. At the time my comfortability lied in numbness. The only thing I wanted to feel is what pleased me. My anger, my pleasure. 

“Shuri.” I was snapped out of my thoughts by Nakia looking at me with worry settled into her eyes. “Are you ok?” I gave a soft nod not really having the energy to speak. I’d put on my proverbial mask and had a successful interview with the State Senate about the plans for the outreach, and was now seated comfortably in the back seat of the Royal Maybach. Seated, man spread, arm comfortably resting on the console, while I gazed out of the window not looking at anything in particular. Everything seemed to be a blur until…

“STOP! STOP THE CAR!” Okoye slammed on the breaks stopping abruptly in the middle of the road causing many cars to honk, as they made quick stops to avoid hitting us.

“What in the world SHURI! What is it!” Ignoring her, I quickly opened the car door, stepping out of the car stumbling toward the sidewalk. I couldn’t stop myself from walking forward. Like a moth being drawn to a flame. My heart thumped loudly in my chest, like the beat of a sad drum before the violins began to swell, the enchanting sounds swirling around my head, swallowing me into my sorrow. It felt like a dream walk, But sadly this was my reality. 

In front of me was a beautiful building labeled “Glasshouse Chealsea”. There was an obvious wedding party, Bridesmaids dressed in the most beautifully simple flowing olive gowns. Grooms men dressed in simple black tuxes. Music was being played as a crowd of guest gathered around the stairs dancing, and clapping, whooping excitedly for the newly weds. 

Then there she was. The most beautiful Bride I’d ever seen. Transported directly from the television, to just steps away from my touch, glowing even more beautifully in person. I was stopped in my tracks. It was really her. Standing right before me. My Y/n, my muse, my reason, the one who held my heart. There she stood, with her new husband smiling from ear to ear. She truly looked happy. Embracing him, looking into his eyes with a look so familiar it physically pained me to recognize. Love. She loved him. I could feel my heart clench in my chest as they share a loving kiss; making their way down the stairs giving hugs as they head toward a red Porche labeled just married. 

Shoulders back head held high, she walked with grace. Elegant in all her simplicity. She once told me, Beauty and intelligence are one in the same, no one respects it if you’re shoving it down their throats.” Ha. She lived by that. Naturally alluring, it was in the sway of her hips, in the enunciation of her words, in her expression of her big beautiful brown eyes. The expression in those big brown eyes that were now staring deep into mine. 

I could see the many emotions run through her eyes. Recognition, confusion, hurt. I hadn’t layed eyes on her in person for 2 years. But here she was. My Y/n. Except, she wasn’t mine anymore. The constant reminders of that where ripping my heart to shreds.

 Her eyes lingered on mine a bit before she stepped back and quickly broke eye contact with me, allowing her husband to lead her to the car. Leaving me standing in the middle of the side walk. I stood awhile longer, a lone tear falling from my eye. She glanced over her shoulder at me before gracefully entering the car. I’d never felt defeat so great. This was the end. It was over, isiphelo, la fin. I turned and walked back to the car. As Queen and Black Panther, I never hung my head low, and I never kneeled to anyone. Emotions were for private. So held high, shoulders back, I slid back into the car. 

“Let’s get back to the hotel” I say, voice slightly trembling. She’s really gone.

————————————————————————

Flashback

 Truthfully,

 honestly

I need, I need, I need to believe

I wanna let go 

but I don’t really know

I heard you got a girlfriend

Shuri smiled, sitting back inside the aircraft, closing her eyes as your sensual and melodic voice lulled her into a state of relaxation. She missed you, and had been on edge since you left her in Wakanda. Everyday she hoped you were thinking of her as much as she thought of you. It had been a little under a month, and everyday Shuri went a little more insane. So, she was on her way to you. Determined to win your heart. 

I wanna go to another level with you

But before I do

I wanna know fo’ I go there with you

Apparently, you’d been busy. You had a song that was going crazy on the internet in America. Shuri had been keeping tabs on you and ran across this information scrolling on “tiktok” on her primitive American phone that she only had to keep up with what you were doing. Shuri wasn’t naive to the fact that she was the inspiration behind the song. The information makes her smile to herself. She still has a chance. 

“So what’s the plan here Shuri, what will you say? Here I am again Y/n, to waste more of your time! I know you wrote a whole song about how you don’t want to be my concubine but here I am to ask again, but I’m still with Eve?” Aneka ask as Ayo raised an eyebrow while piloting the ship, also interested in what Shuri’s plan was here.

Shuri rolled her eyes. “Eve is not a factor in this”

“Ha! Oh really! Do tell me how your girlfriend of 4 years is not a factor in this new relationship you’re trying to start?” Aneka sat up in her seat across from Shuri elbows on her knees and chin resting in both palms, face full of sarcastic yet genuine interest. 

“Easy really, I have Eve under control, she knows I want to be with Y/n and as long as she gets the lifestyle she’s fine with the bare minimum.” She shrugs.

“And what about Y/n”

“ I’ll tell her me and Eve aren’t together anymore. She doesn’t need to know.”

Aneka stares as she lets the conversation really register. “WOW! Shuri really, just wow. You know this must be some intricate super genius shit that a simple soldier like myself just wouldn’t get, because, to me somehow this just sounds….STUPID!”

Shuri smiles, before breaking into a laugh.

“Maybe so Aneka, Maybe so. It’s gonna work. Watch me.”

Aneka scoffed getting up from her seat choosing to go to sit with Ayo as she piloted the aircraft. 

“ This is gonna be bad” Aneka says to Ayo. Ayo nods and hums in agreement. 

Soon they were landing discreetly on top of the dorms at Hampton University after curfew. Perfectly timed. Shuri stepped out wearing an all black tracksuit similar to the purple one she wore when she 1st met you, her curls perfectly coiled, undercut fresh. She was now standing in front of your door with a huge bouquet of 100 roses. She takes a deep breath and knocks. 

“Who is it!?” She heard from the other side of the door. She decided against answering and knocked again. She heard some shuffling and the padding of your feet headed towards the door.

“Omg! Who tf-“ You snatch the door open to see a familiar body face covered by a bouquet of roses. You look at her and walk away leaving the door open with out saying a word. 

She peaks from behind the bouquet to see you strutting back to your bed, you placing your laptop back onto your lap, begining to type. She places the flowers down at her side and stares at you. 

“You might want to come in before someone see’s the Queen of Wakanda in the halls of Hampton. They already have me under constant surveillance.” You say with out looking up at her,  continuing your pace with typing. Shuri steps in closing the door behind her. She walks closer to you and watches as you work and continue to ignore her. She smirks and lets out a little huff of a laugh. You shoot her an irritated look.

“You’re really going to ignore me forever?”

“Why are you here?”

“Answering a question with a question.”

“Shuri leave”

“Ok ok ok” She sighs “I got these for you” she laid the flowers down next to you. You look at her with your eyebrows furrowed upper lip arched up, waiting for her to get to the point. 

“I’m sorry Y/n. I really am, I didn’t think things through, and I didn’t think about how you would feel at all. That was selfish of me to ask that of you. You’re absolutely correct. You’re way too precious to have to share. I know that I really want you and it’s been killing me thinking about loosing you completely. I can’t Y/n. I need you. I’ve grown so fond of you in such a short time. I want to be with you. Only you Y/n.”

You sat and stared into her eyes. Almost as though you were digging into her soul. It made Shuri extremely uncomfortable. You sat with your natural hair sat in a high bun, with 2 strands of hair left out in the front framing your face perfectly. Your glasses perched on your nose, a large T-shirt and biker shorts on. Shuri admired your beauty as she waited for you to jump into her arms. 

“Bullshit” was your simple answer. Shuri frowned up in shock. 

“You can take the apprehension out ya face Shuri. You know why you’re getting this reaction from me. I saw the moment you switched up. I stood by your side when that bitch left you to suffer after you lost your mother! And you ask me to stand with you while you remain with her! Fuck out of here! You enjoyed that shit, and you’re probably still with Eve! I’m not stupid. HELLO! Remember why are paths crossed. So if you came here believing I was just gonna fall back into your arms. You’re not only full of yourself. You’re full of THE most stinkingest shit an ass like you can muster. Please excuse yourself from my room.”

Shuri stood mouth slightly ajar. That’s Exactly what she expected, for you to run into her arms, grateful for her traveling all this way and apologizing so beautifully. To say this wasn’t apart of the plan was an understatement. You still being this upset hadn’t even crossed her mind.

“Y/n I-“

“I swear to God Shuri if you’re not on the outside of that door in 2 seconds I’m gonna spaz” You speak calmly looking her directly in her eye, standing firm on your word. 

Shuri bit into her lip taking a slight step back from the bed. She’d never felt so unsure of herself, this was a quick change of events.

“Go Shuri!” Your voice picked up in volume this time as you pointed toward the door. Shuri felt her eyes water a bit. So she quickly turned and headed towards the door. “You can keep the flowers” she said sadly, as she closed the door behind her. As the door shut she heard a soft thud against it.

“FUCK YOU AND THOSE FUCKING FLOWERS SHURI!!”

Shuri huffed, biting the inside of her cheek, and used her thumb to flick her nose. 

“I’m not giving up Y/n!”

“Kiss my ass!”

Shuri tapped her beads calling Aneka.

“That was quick, let me guess it went beautifully” Aneka says with humor in her voice. 

“Glad you find humor in my pain Aneka”

“I told you it was stupid idea”

————————————————————————

Four months. FOUR FUCKING MONTHS! 

Shuri had pulled all the stops. She’d stayed in Washington 2 more weeks. She’d bought dozens upon dozens of the most beautiful bouquets. Jewelry. Cartier, Bulgari, Van Cleef. Had money sent to your accounts. You’d gotten a full scholarship so that was taken care of, but any other expenses she took care of. You still weren’t budging. 

  She was now back in Wakanda rethinking her entire life. She’d let her hair grow out, her undercut long gone now, blending in with rest of her curls in an unkempt Afro. She wore sweat suits everyday. They were stylish but definitely not up to the standards of the council, but no one had the guts to say anything to her. Disagreeing with Shuri could prove to be lethal. To say her temper was short was an understatement. So everyone tried to let her be. 

She now lie in her bed staring at the ceiling in her large T-shirt and baggy sweats, when her room door was snatched open and slammed shut. 

“Usisi! Get. Up!” 

Nakia.

Shuri groaned. Ofcourse they’d call Nakia on her. 

“I don’t want to hear it! Get up. You’re wallowing in pity over a situation you caused!” 

Shuri shot Nakia an agitated look.

“ Yes I heard. And I’ve never been more disappointed”

“ I really don’t want to hear this shit Nakia”

“Well you’re going to usisi omncinci” Nakia says sitting on the bed beside Shuri. 

“Shuri you’re not healing or coping well. I don’t believe you should be with anyone let alone two women! Really. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking it was my business” She sat up, staring at Nakia intimidatingly. Nakia stands and looks over Shuri looking down at her. 

“Andikoyiki (I’m not scared of you), You can run around this palace waving your proverbial gauntlet, and scare the hell out of all of your subordinates if you’d like, but I am not them. I am apart of the only family you have left, and I will not allow you to push me away with your anger. It’s time to move towards healing Shuri, because the path you’re on is only going to leave a trail of broken hearts behind you, and you will regret it. T’Challa and Romonda would be extremely disappointed. I will remain in Wakanda for awhile. You know where to find me when you’re ready to talk.”

Shuri watches Nakia as she walks out of her room, irritation etched into her face.

“Dissapointed? Haha! Dissapointed! I don’t know what the fuck she’s talking about. IM RUNNING THE FUCK OUTTA THIS COUNTRY! Pshh. Disappointed. Fuck her!” She swung knocking the lamp on her bedside lamp into the wall. The door to the room opened and Eve walked in. 

Shuri sighs leaning forward, her elbows to her knees, letting out a sigh. She knew Nakia was right but she felt like she needed to hold on to her anger to feel anything. Y/n had successfully gotten into Shuri’s head. Shuri craved the feeling she’d felt when she was with her. She needed to hear her voice singing to her in all it’s sultry beauty. She had to go back to the one person she knew could make her feel human again. (That ain’t what Nakia said Shuri!! Chile🙄)

“We’re done” Shuri says

Eve stops, but she doesn’t reply, she just looks down at her feet.

“Did you hear me Eve!”

“I heard you.” Eve spoke softly. Shuri had broken Eve down to fraction in the months passed. She’d treated her so poorly, having no real love to give to her, because her heart was obviously somewhere else. Eve had become a shell of herself watching the one she loved love someone else. “ I knew it was coming. You’re clearly infatuated with her….Shuri I never meant to hurt you by not showing up after your mother died. I-I just couldn’t watch you hurt anymore. You’ve been through so much and Romanda was like a mother to me. It hurt Shuri. I wasn’t strong enough to be there for you, and I’m sorry. I would’ve never thought it would’ve been so easy for you to give your heart away.”

Shuri stared at Eve emotionless “Please Eve, spare me the speech. Do you want to gather your things now? Or should I have them sent to you?” 

“FUCK YOUUUUU!!” Eve screams at the top of her lungs tears streaming down her face, Body trembling causing the Dora to barge in. Shuri made no move from her spot on the bed as she watched Eve crumble. 

“Please remove her from my room. I will be taking a trip. Please see to it that all of her items have been removed from my area before my return.” The two Dora look at each other and proceed to walk towards Eve.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me! I can let myself out!” Eve picked herself up from the floor. She looked at Shuri. “I pray you feel every bit of pain you caused me. You’re a peice of shit!” With that she barged out of the room. Shuri looked to the Dora.

“ Prepare transport, to Washington”

————————————————————————

Shuri found herself in Washington, standing in front of a club, in her sweats, hood pulled up over her head, hands fidgeting in her pockets as she paced. She had no idea what she was gonna do or say. All she knew is that she wanted you. She’d found out that you started taking up singing gigs on the side as your name started to pick up traction. She found out you were performing at The black diamond tonight and now here she was. No plan just her.

  She battled with going in, finding you and pouring her heart out, but being so vulnerable in front of so many people had her anxious. So when the doors opened and the familiar sound of your laughter filled her ears, her heart lurched. Her head shot up in the direction she heard the laughter come from, to find you with two guys dragging musical equipment, and a girl with guitar slung over her shoulder. You walked front and center as they trailed behind you goofing off, excited about a good set. 

Shuri admired you in all your glory. Your waist length Afro textured hair worn loose. Body glistening in your short gold cowl neck halter dress. It draped on your body perfectly, the shiny, stretchy fabric clinging to all the right parts of your body. And just when she thought the dress couldn’t get any sexier she noticed a a split at the hip. She could’ve melted into a puddle right there. 

Just as she was about to punk out, you felt yourself being watched and your head turned in the direction of what looked like some random weirdo in a sweat suit staring you down. Before you could get creeped out Shuri removed her hood. You were stuck a moment, as she was now sporting a full fro, she looked tired, bags under her eyes, and skin looked a bit dull. Even with all that Shuri still managed to be beautiful. You frowned immediately turning to get to your car bidding your friends goodbye as more people began to file from the club. Shuri knew it was now or never. She took a step forward towards the direction you were walking. 

 “Y/n! Please!” She yelled, causing heads to turn. You stopped, but kept your back toward her. She took a few more steps toward you. 

“Look at me.. please look at me.” she says and you slowly turn to look at her.

“Shuri I-“ You began but she quickly cut you off.

“Please let me speak this time…. I’m here y/n, no bells and whistles, no holds barred, just me.” She remained where she stood stretching her arms out to the side and then quickly dropping them.” I get it now. I hurt you more than I was prepared to deal with and I’m sorry. I really am baby girl. Everyday I’m paying for it. Knowing I want to be with you and being shut out is killing me. I’m a mess. I can admit that. I can’t think straight, and I don’t know what else to do. I cut ties with Eve, and I’m not asking you to hop into a relationship with me immediately, I’m asking you to give me the chance to prove that I’m worthy of it. Because I need you. I like me better when I’m with you. So please..” She walks toward you now entering your space, silent tears escaping her eyes. “Please let me fix it.” She reached out for your hands, and you looked at her hands as a stray tear fell from your eyes. “I’m begging you”

You look into her eyes seeing the sincerity. You inhale and let out a wet exhale. You slowly reach and take her hands, you pull her body into yours wrapping her arms around your waist. You take her in your arms wrapping your arms around her shoulders, and allow her to break as she buries her head into your neck, sobs racking her body. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, I promise I won’t fuck this up this time.” She whispered into your neck as applause from the crowd that had formed rang out. You pulled back grabbing her face with both hands bringing her face up to look you in the eyes. 

“Let’s get there first. Hm? One step at a time.” 

She nods, truly grateful for the chance just to fix things.

————————————————————————

Present

Shuri POV 

She gave me my second chance. And I did everything right. I went back to my undercut and curly top. I started therapy. And with Y/n by my side I genuinely did run the fuck out of my country. We created so many amazing Technological advancements together. Y/n doing all of this at the same time as her music career began taking off. I showed up to as many shows as possible. Became apart of her musical process. The nights in the studio with her and her crew grew to be some of my favorite memories. I’d order food, drinks, have the best weed Wakanda could grow, and it would be like a movie in there. The sex we would sneak off and have was crazy. We were the true definition of what a power couple was. The world loved us together, my country was probably more excepting of her than they were me. Our love was beautiful. So tell me. How did I fuck it all up?

Taglist: @imjusthere2readbruv,@6-noir,@oceean,@sleepynggafr,@blacksapphhicmaddonna,@bbbbbbrilliantly

[laugtherhyena]

I don't know what LINUJ was thinking when he chose to make Yoruko's upperclassman and Minako two separate characters but personally I don't really mind it? Mostly cause when I see background characters that don't officially appear beyond a few mentions, I go, "A character that barely has a skeleton of a personality that I can mold to my whims?! WOOO!!" and then proceed to squeeze them like a stress ball. I don't think about Amane (the upperclassman) a lot, especially in comparison to Kojiro, but I think it'd be fun to explore her character as I do have a project idea with her as part of the cast but it's kinda on the backburner of my brain cause I'm trying not to make too many projects at once cause I'm already struggling to juggle a bunch of other stuff at the same time. That being said, on the topic of Amane's pink hair, I actually think it's dyed?? Not sure cause I only just got passed the second bad end with my friend in Chapter 6 so we haven't seen the context of Yoruko's CG where she's in her fantasy, so take this with a grain of salt, but for some reason the wiki labels the CG as Yoruko talking to Minako??? And the woman shown has her hair having faded pink tips, revealing that her roots are actually brown. Ngl, the idea that Minako (still) dyes her hair to the color she has today is really funny but I think that's just the wiki editors messing up on whos who. Sometimes wikis aren't the most reliable source of information when you want to quickly review something without replaying the game and stuff, and I think it makes more sense that in Yoruko's fantasy, she'd be reunited with who she believes is her upperclassman, even if she cares about Minako. And if we take her appearance in the fantasy as truth from what little we can see of her, that means that both Amane and Yoruko dyed their hair for their hostess job (although Yoruko did it to mimic Amane specifically), lmao.

But yeah, I think the sequel cast having connections to the characters of the previous game is a really neat tie-in, even if it's not very strong and it's interesting to explore their connections with each other in fanon. My headcanon with Setsuka and Teruya being sibling figures to each other could be interesting since they actually reunite through their work, and probably spent a lot of time catching up and getting to know each other again. Which makes it hurt even more when Setsuka goes missing. Like, Teruya probably freaked out when he realized he hasn't heard from Setsuka in a long time and tried to push for an investigation to search for her which Kinjo put a stop to due to his own plans with Syobai. Poor guy was probably torn between disobeying orders to find Setsuka since he didn't want to lose another important person in his life or falling in line to Kinjo due to his loyalty to him. But if Kinjo were to suggest that she might've been kidnapped for the killing game, possibly to "fill in space," Teruya probably chose to fall in line since stopping Mikado's killing game would probably be the closest way to save Setsuka, even if he wanted to do more. And we all know how that worked out...

On a much lighter note, in a Non-Despair AU where Setsuka and Kojiro cross paths again after many years, I like to think that they reignite their friendship since I see Kojiro being more upset over Setsuka ghosting him (and Teruya) for years without an explanation than the fact that she cheated and got herself banned in billiards, which probably caused some controversy with his sponsorship for her. Hell, he probably thought she was dead or something with how long he didn't hear from her. That's kinda what happens when you go into hiding instead of confronting the consequences of your actions, Setsuka. But once they get pass the initial awkwardness, Setsuka and Kojiro becomes best buds again. They also become drinking buddies with Teruya (as an adult) chaperoning them, much to his (affectionate) annoyance.

It's crazy to me how he just made this random ass character instead of making Minako herself be the upperclassmen, like that would have led to a much stronger connection between Yoruko and the first killing game's class than Minako just so happening to be the boss at the bar her and Amane worked at.

Slight tangent here but, seriously, Amane Kaira? Two letters away from Akane Taira? I know Linuj has a track record of having characters with similar names in the another series, but this ridiculous. How were we seriously meant to believe this was a real person? Because for the longest time i just assumed that "Amane Kaira" was the fake ID Minako used when she worked at the bar with Yoruko since she mentioned both of them had it because they were minors back then.

As for the wiki, i believe it really is just flat out wrong when it says that's Yoruko talking to Minako (which generated this whole misconception) because those CGs were first uploaded there just a little after Ch6 came out so we didn't had everything properly translated back then and it just never got fixed + just from the little we see of this girl you can tell she's not meant to be Minako

In addition, the hair color of the girl in the Cg is a soft pink whereas Minako's is a pink closer to a purple-ish (violet-ish, whatever you wanna call it) tone + from both of her sprite galleries Minako's hair really doesn't seem to be dyed when you compare it to characters we know have dyed hair in the series (Emma has visible brown streaks in her blonde hair and Hajime's is really really light at the top for some reason)

And if this isn't enough, Linuj straight up adresses her as her own person in Yoruko's character sheet (translation by ToastCat333)

So yeah, Amane, the totally real person who is not Minako Tomori! As much as this stuff annoys me, I can't say I'm not a fan of picking minor characters and making up ocs out of them, I'm curious to see what you'll make up of this character.

[likkolo]

does anybody want to read some of the royalty au minbin i found in my drafting gdoc? if u do here is a little bit of the beginning (it's about super big changbin and mobility issues)

“I am not interested in marrying,” Prince Lee Minho says when he is eighteen years old.

He says the same thing at twenty and at twenty-two. 

He says it again at twenty-four.

Then, for the first time, he is told in no uncertain terms that he cannot continue to delay. The King and Queen have decided that he is to be wed by the end of the year. A committee of officials has been assembled to search the kingdom for eligible souls according to Minho’s desires, in the hopes of facilitating a happy match. Minho needs only to tell them what his criteria are.

“Fine,” Minho says. He crosses his arms, ever the picture of the petulant and cantankerous prince that his parents have made him out to be. Then he thinks. He uncrosses his arms and holds up a finger. “I have just one criterion.”

“Just one?” says an official. “My prince, we have never known you to be… unchoosy.”

“Okay, then. Two.” Minho adds another finger. There’s a murmur among the assembly of officials, almost certainly to warn each other off of questioning the prince lest he become even more difficult. Minho pays them no mind.

“First,” Minho says. “I want the man I am to wed to be a year younger than I am.” The murmuring from the officials turns approving and demure, to show that they find this requirement to be perfectly reasonable. “And second,” Minho continues, “I want him to be fat. Very fat. Bring me the fattest twenty-three year old man you can find in the entire kingdom. And if he isn’t very fat then make him fatter before presenting him to me. He should weigh…”—Minho takes a moment to think— “no less than six hundred pounds.”

The officials are silent. Shocked. Finally one of them dares to speak. “My prince, are you… sure? You’re sure that that’s what you really want?”

“Yes, I am absolutely sure,” Minho says. “Because then I will be able to test the loyalty of the man who is to be wed to me. On our wedding day, he will be faced with a rather long walk down the aisle of our grandest church. If he truly loves me and wants to be my husband, then he will be determined to reach me at the altar. He will not give up, even though his prodigious size will make the task extremely difficult.”

“And if he does give up?”

“Then I will not be wed, and I will seek another suitor in the new year.”

“Yes, your highness.”

Minho turns, satisfied, and drops into his ornate chair. He applies his attention to a book instead, and ignores the officials as they filter out of his royal study.

Then he hears one of the officials mumble that no man of such a size could walk so far, and another who responds by saying that that must be what the prince is counting on. No man can complete the task that Minho has set, so no man will marry Minho.

Minho could call them back, ask for the names of the officials who dare to question his prudence. Any punishment he proposed would be agreed to by his parents. But it isn’t worth it, Minho decides. Let them take as many men as they can into the kingdom to find him the deliciously fat man he’s always dreamed of.

[chatonarya]

I'd like to take a few moments to talk about Weiss (Courier) and the few tidbits of extra lore he received with RS and how it impacts his overall character. Mostly this is just because I’ve always had a soft spot for him, as it was actually Weiss who charmed me from the first and got me invested in the Kjerag faction and characters, and perhaps it’s merely wishful thinking on my part, but I like to hope that his storyline still has more to it. I’ve always found it strange how, during the release of BI, all the year 1 Kjerag operators received oprecs, yet he was curiously exempt. 

But now with the upcoming Terra Meshi event, he’ll finally receive an oprec and I’m thrilled at the prospect of more lore for him. So ahead of that, I’d like to talk about what we have so far.

Weiss appears little in RS, mostly observing Harold and his army and delivering Harold’s invite to Enciodes. After Weiss gives his report and opinion of the army, Enciodes comments that Weiss is “fond of taking the negative tack,” but this is in fact “one of [Weiss’s] strengths.” This shows that despite Weiss’s oft-cheery exterior facade, he has a pessimistic streak when it comes to potential conflict.

Near the end, when he awakes from being captured by the Victorians, he is vehement and adamant that he get free as soon as possible to rush back to Enciodes to do what little he still can if the situation is too late, stating that he “[has] to make up for [his] disappointment,” which is a sort of callback to his module, where he places “living up to duty” as the most important thing he can do for Enciodes. We also learn he conceals a razor in his shoe, never without a weapon of some sort.

Furthermore, we also see that as of RS, both Weiss and Matterhorn are in Kjerag assisting Enciodes while Ensia is in Laterano on her own. It would appear that much as Gnosis left Rhodes to return home when his presence was needed, they did the same (which is notable as in Matterhorn’s oprec, Enciodes assigns him to look after Ensia full-time, but I won’t digress too much).

All of this is in line with Weiss’s previous characterization. Though perhaps the most interesting tidbit about Weiss comes not from RS itself, but rather, Gnosis’s oprec, wherein Enciodes makes a passing comment about him.

Enciodes: Matterhorn has been with me since I was little, and Weiss's situation is kind of unusual. I don't have any other friends.

This demonstrates two things: first, despite being the one who rescued him and being likely of relatively close age, Enciodes doesn’t actually consider Weiss to be a potential friend on equal footing the same way he would be with Gnosis, their distance of master and subordinate already established. This already implies potentially that Weiss came from a vassal family, but also that he was possibly orphaned and adopted into the Silverash household with the expectation of becoming their servant later on.

Second, that actually, Weiss has known Enciodes since childhood, which explains Weiss’s comment in Matterhorn’s oprec about Matterhorn being worried about Weiss ever since was little and Weiss begging for candy whenever he was hurt during training. From this, we can infer that Weiss trained ever since he was young to become Enciodes’s guard, potentially including even while he was away, and we now know via the official timeline that Enciodes spent seven years away from Kjerag. Per Weiss’s own profile and voice lines, we know his intense loyalty towards Enciodes stems from his rescue—yet I have often wondered at Weiss’s self-imposed duty to eliminate threats towards Enciodes in secret, as detailed in his module.

This is something which remains one of the biggest mysteries surrounding Weiss, and in fact what I would say is one of his most defining traits: the fact that besides being Enciodes’s personal messenger, Weiss is also his secret assassin. Weiss is very careful to allow nobody, even Enciodes, to know what he is capable of. Enciodes does not ask that Weiss go out and kill for him (though I believe he must be at least somewhat aware of it, because this is Enciodes we’re talking about), but Weiss chooses of his own volition to use violence to eliminate those who want Enciodes dead, regardless of the costs to himself. Weiss is covered in scars, all of which came from Enciodes’s potential killers, and Matterhorn’s oprec (which I should mention is post-BI) mentions that Weiss often conceals his injuries from others.

Of the three of Enciodes’s most faithful supporters (Gnosis, Degenbrecher, and Weiss), all of them are violent to varying degrees, but Weiss is the one who is explicitly highlighted as having killed, repeatedly (although the other two have as well), without a second of remorse or hesitation. I’ve wondered before what drives Weiss to such lengths—of course, knowing now that he was quite young when he was rescued, this would leave an immense impact on his psyche. As well, I would also say that Enciodes’s innate charm, especially as a child, no doubt captivated him or won him over just as it did with Gnosis.

(I’ve joked in the past that perhaps this intense loyalty could be an innate racial trait, going by the only other Itra we know and in fact Weiss’s acquaintance: Monch. Monch acts similarly towards Gnosis as Weiss acts towards Enciodes, though we lack context at the moment precisely for why, and I admit it’s a bit of a silly theory.)

We also know via Degenbrecher’s profile that Weiss was wary of her when she joined them as she essentially took his position, though now he is at ease with her (no doubt having witnessed that Degenbrecher cares deeply about Enciodes). This pushed him out of the role of bodyguard and more firmly into the position of messenger and servant, but I don’t think Weiss is the kind of person to abandon his self-appointed duty as assassin. If anything, Degenbrecher being Enciodes’s shadow would permit Weiss to engage in his secret role more freely.

Truly, I am very much looking forward to Courier’s oprec, and I hope it digs into some of the mysteries surrounding him.

[fanficshiddles]

Necessary Evil, Chapter 9

For the following two weeks, Sarah found herself frequenting Loki’s bed more than not. She had quickly become infatuated with him, and he her.

Loki couldn’t get enough of her. Having her squirming under him in pleasure quickly became a bit of an addiction for him. And she couldn’t get enough of him either, luckily for Loki.

He became a little possessive over her, but it wasn’t too extreme and Sarah quite enjoyed the way he acted around her. She felt super special, and she especially liked how it would wind Maddie up. As Loki wasn’t afraid to hide public displays of affection towards Sarah when with everyone else, he even had her sit on his lap the other night while they were just relaxing in the compound with some of the members. Sarah had been so sure that Maddie would explode with jealousy.

They had around five new members since Sarah had suggested about a billboard advertisement, which really pleased Loki. There had been more interest, but some bailed at initiation time.

They were all lounging around in the compound, Sarah sat right next to Loki and he had his arm around her.

‘I’ve got an announcement to make.’ Loki said loudly so everyone would hear. They all gathered around close to the fire pit, Loki stayed sitting though and motioned for everyone to sit down too and be comfortable.

Sarah tilted her head to look at him, she had no idea what his announcement was about to be.

‘Now we have a lovely number of members, I’ve decided to make it official for you all. You’re all to get a tattoo, of my helmet, to show your loyalty to me and the rest of our family.’

Everyone was surprised, but most of them seemed happy with the idea. Maddie practically jumped off her seat in excitement.

Sarah became a little nervous, she didn’t have any tattoos, never had been interested in them because she didn’t have a high pain threshold. Though she did find they looked pretty cool, she wasn’t sure she wanted one on herself.

Though it seemed she wasn’t going to get an option.

‘Is it going to be mandatory?’ Sophie asked Loki.

‘Yes.’ Loki said firmly with a nod. ‘It’s not like you have to pay for it, I’ll be doing it. It’s not going to be large, so surely you can handle a little pain to show your devotion to me. In the long run, it’s a very small sacrifice for what you will all receive in the end when we reach my goal.’

‘I’ll get mine on my face, so everyone can see my loyalty to you.’ Maddie called out.

Loki raised his eyebrow at her. ‘No. I will be deciding where everyone gets their tattoo. Tomorrow night we will do it, so make sure you’re all here again for seven.’ He said to everyone.

He dismissed them all, so people dispersed and went back to doing what they were doing before Loki’s announcement.

Sarah’s mind started reeling with the thought of getting a tattoo. Though she was becoming highly distracted with the way he began stroking the back of her neck under her hair.

Loki turned to face her more, his breath tickled against her ear. ‘I know exactly where you are going to get yours, my pet… Where I will be able to see it while I fuck you from behind.’ He whispered into her ear in a growly voice.

Sarah knew exactly where he meant, with the way he kept stroking her neck. She practically melted under his touch, and trembled at his voice. Luckily, no one was close enough to have heard what he said to her, to her relief.

‘What uhm… what made you decide you want everyone to get a tattoo?’ She asked quietly.

Loki began sliding his fingers through her hair. ‘Because I want to make sure that everyone here has loyalty to me. I need to make sure to weed out anyone that doesn’t. Or I will never get back to Asgard if I surround myself with fake admirers.’

‘I… I guess that makes sense.’ She nodded.

‘You still don’t believe I am the real deal, do you?’ Loki asked, amused as he gently gripped her chin and turned her face towards him.

‘Hmm… I don’t completely not believe you, I mean, you’ve certainly proved you have a silver tongue.’ She blushed hard, making Loki chuckle as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

‘Well, that’s a start. I’ll continue working harder on you.’ He winked at her, then leaned in to kiss her on the lips, making her heart flutter.

‘LOKI!’ Came Maddie’s high-pitched voice from behind them.

Loki grumbled in annoyance as he pulled away from Sarah and turned his head towards Maddie. ‘Yes?’

‘I’m so excited about this tattoo, I was wondering where you want my tattoo to be?’ She asked, bobbing up and down on her toes. She completely ignored Sarah, like she had been doing lately.

On your mouth to shut you up for a while. He thought internally.

‘You will have to wait and find out tomorrow night with the rest of your brothers and sisters.’ He said with a smile.

He definitely didn’t need to worry about Maddie’s loyalty to him, that was for sure.

-

‘How are things going with you and Loki? Certainly seem cosy.’ Sophie asked Sarah with a big grin.

They had met up for a couple of drinks the following night before going to the compound. It had been a while since they’d been able to have a catch up just the two of them.

‘Good, he’s… well, pretty amazing.’ Sarah laughed.

‘You’re blushing! You’re totally hooked.’ Sophie teased playfully.

‘Yeah, I guess I am.’ Sarah admitted, laughing again. ‘Not going to lie though, I am really nervous about this tattoo. I don’t do well with pain, have never really wanted one.’

Sophie nodded in agreement. ‘Me too. Well, the nervous part. I already have a tattoo, but I don’t really fancy getting one of his helmet. I mean, it’s not that I don’t have loyalty to him or anything… I just, don’t really want to permanently mark my body for him. Although if that’s what he wants, then I’ll deal with it. I really feel like I belong with everyone there, I don’t want to lose that. Plus, I’m starting to believe that maybe there will be some rewards for us all.’

Sarah was surprised to hear that from Sophie.

‘I’m still not entirely sure that he is Loki. Well, he is Loki but not that Loki that he claims to be. Though maybe he is, I guess we might never know for sure. Weirder things have happened, I suppose. He wants me to get my tattoo on the back of my neck, so at least it can be hidden with my hair easily when I want it to.’ Sarah shrugged.

‘The pain isn’t too bad, I promise. I’m sure Loki will help to keep you calm.’ Sophie winked at her, making her laugh.

‘I certainly hope so.’ Sarah sighed.

When they arrived at the compound, Loki had already started tattooing people. Sarah noticed Maddie in a huff at the side, but she knew better than to ask her directly what was wrong, so she went to George who was showing off his tattoo that he'd gotten on his wrist, he was delighted with it.

‘I can’t believe Loki actually tattooed this onto me himself. It’s amazing.’ He grinned from ear to ear.

‘Hey George, what’s going on with Maddie?’ Sarah asked.

‘Sarah, you’re here. Oh man, you missed some drama. Loki is choosing where the tattoos are going on everyone, Maddie desperately wanted it somewhere really visible. Loki decided hers was going on the back of her shoulder, so unless she’s super picky with her clothing it will barely be visible. Plus I think it meant he didn’t need to touch her much at all, so she’s kinda pissed off.’ George explained.

‘Oh dear.’ Sarah cringed, though she couldn’t help but laugh internally.

‘He gave me a few options though, so I got to pick my wrist. Look at how clean the lines are and how bold it is, he’s good man!’

Sarah couldn’t deny it was a nice tattoo, she wondered how Loki knew how to tattoo or where he learned to do that.

‘Being a god, he can probably do anything perfectly, I'm not surprised.’ Jen said as if reading her mind.

Loki called Sophie over for her turn, Sarah went over to watch. Loki winked at her when she sat down next to him.

‘Alright, Sophie. You can decide where you want it, just not on the face or neck.’ Loki said with a warm smile.

Sophie looked shocked, but delighted that she was getting to pick where she wanted it. ‘Oh, in that case, can I get it on my ankle?’

‘No problem.’ Loki agreed.

It took around twenty minutes to do the tattoo, Sophie was pretty happy with it once it was done. Loki cleaned it up and gave her a tube of healing cream for it.

‘Now, last but not least.’ Loki turned to Sarah. ‘Are you ready, darling?’

[loadednachosao3]

Do you think Lalo was ever poor? Or it's a completely unrelatable person situation? Because for a rich kid he blends in very well.

it's an interesting idea... I personally have always figured the Salamancas were well-connected and rich by the time he was born, but... by my count, Hector was about 20 when Lalo was born. we can say that older Salamancas were already dealing drugs/in the cartel/from well-off families by then and it kept them comfortable until later when they became millionaires officially, but then again, in canon -- I know they don't digitally de-age, so this is a little unreliable, but let me cook -- Hector looked to be at least in his 40s-50s by the time the Eladio poolside scenes began. timelines are hard... whatever, work with me here.

we also know that the cartel didn't even start dealing the (more profitable) meth until after Gus joined up and convinced them to switch gears. they were dealing cocaine before, which, sure, the cartel would still be full of millionaires from that, but maybe their operation was smaller? less of it to go around?

so let's spin a yarn: if Lalo's family was poor until at least the age of 18 (when TD says he was shipped off to a "good school" in the US, which would require both visa and school money), what would that be like? I imagine his family was always involved with drugs in some form, be that using or dealing. users becoming dealers is not at all uncommon, after all.

so, little Lalo, not yet a cartel prince, family scraping by on drug money without being affiliated with any official organized criminal groups... he knows what it's like to want for more. knows exactly why, for example, Nacho joined up (and sees himself in him).

let's think. Lalo, maybe 15, dealing where he shouldn't because it's all he knows and he wants more money he can't get in his family's tiny little patch of unofficial "territory." business-smart even in those days -- little Lalo all holed up in the sparse libraries nearby, learning English just so he has more options to read about business and money and all that stuff.

the cartel in bcs was apparently built by Eladio and the Salamancas. maybe it was Eladio's family who was rich and well-connected, but the Salamancas who worked street-level as muscle and dealers. maybe Lalo is the reason. streetwise and book-smart kid running around, making schemes to muscle out the competition, catching the attention of Eladio's family, who had been dealing longer, more, still new, still without a huge grasp on the market, but they see potential with young Lalo Salamanca and his ruthless family.

maybe Lalo is the way he is because he NEEDED to be. smiling because you make friends and connections that way, hurting people because you get their money and (frightened) loyalty that way. going off to college a few years after his actions introduced his family to Eladio's. coming back to see that they're millionaires now. letting it get to his head because he was so instrumental in it. being resentful when Hector takes the lead and the credit. (you can stay at Casa Tranquila, tio. they have such good care!)

he doesn't want to go back to that early life of smoke-thick rooms and cigarette burns and drunk parents who would rent you out if it meant getting another hit. he doesn't ever want to feel what it's like to not be able to afford something ever again. to not get what he wants.

so what if Lalo isn't spoiled because he grew up a pampered cartel prince, but because he DIDN'T? because he thinks he deserves every penny he and his family have? because he's terrified of the idea of being destitute again? because if all it takes to be rich is a little ruthlessness, a little willingness to hurt people the way he was hurt, why should he ever try to act any other way?

but it comes out, his past, just a little, when he's playing poker with the guys, or chatting with a corner store clerk, or helping an abuela across the street. it comes out in the crinkle at the corners of his eyes, and his genuine laughter, and his relatable, friendly body language, everyone's friend, people pleaser, look at Lalo, he's so nice! you'd hardly even think he was born into the cartel (because he wasn't, because he never thought his life would turn out this way, because sometimes he wonders what it would be like if he had the chance to go back and rewrite history).

maybe this Lalo would understand why Nacho poisoned his uncle. maybe he'd see Manuel working hard for an honest life, and Nacho charmed by the cartel's dazzling facade, and empathize. maybe, if Nacho were to tell him about the blackmail, he wouldn't skin him alive. maybe he'd kiss him and tell him "I get it" and "I'm sorry" and maybe even "thank you." maybe he'd try to help Nacho get free, even if that meant sending him to Canada with his father and never, ever seeing him again. maybe that's the right thing to do.

maybe he doesn't want to do it, though, because he wants to keep getting what he wants. maybe he's selfish.

maybe that's okay.

WELL ANYWAY like I said, I tend to think of him as being born into wealth even without the cartel and being super spoiled because of that, but this certainly was fun to think of and ramble incoherently about! thanks, anon!

[animeandfilmotaku]

烏は主を選ばない-[A Raven Does not choose its master]-Intrigue and Insight.

In my normal regular brain, this is honestly my reaction to this series via a meme

But I am a serious film review writer, and I really really need to gush one of the best anime series I have watched in recent years, so shall jump into the world of Yatsugarsu.

I may come late to the court drama genre party, thanks to Apothecary Diaries (薬屋のひとりごと) [FYI I really highly recommend this, if you love strong female characters and intriguing plot twists), so unfortunately I have to wait til February 2025 for Season 2 (I should read the novels too, as I heard it is also good), but it would be another show that I will recommend. As for now, I need to talk about this series 烏は主を選ばない [A Raven Does not choose its master]

So it started simply about Yukiya, a country boy from Taruhi who has unexpectedly cross pass with Prince Wakamiya (the true Kin’u), to be his aide (Though Yukiya has his sassy ways when dealing with his antics). So for the first half of the series- we deal with the 4 consorts vying for Wakamiya’s hand in marriage. I said it was great, it was cool, the intrigue is amazing with every plot twist from each consort having its own affairs and personality-all vying for . Not going to spoil for one of the biggest twists for that arc, but not all that it seems in the courts, that even Yukiya-an observer be like I am too old for this shit with these delulu nobles.

I would say Hamayuu is my favourite among the consorts, because she radiated intelligence and wit that every time I see her, I be like QUEEN, I love you so much 😩

However I wanted to give the shout out to the next part of the series that totally solidify the series for me as a whole, so after the selection process of the consort is officially done (With oh course revelations of our lovely consorts, again no spoilers), trouble seems to brew at the countryside as there are mutated yatsugarasus and killer were-monkeys (These things scared the shit out of me TBH) prowling through the villages, killing the residents- which Yukiya is pulled back to the Prince’s side, to investigate these horrors. I guess that is how Game of Thrones fans feel like with the plot twists they watched, because Raven’s plot twists are muah Chef’s kiss. Like every time I be like ‘This so-so is SUS” and the same time, did not expect the unexpected with the motivations. Like from the intrigue on who shall win Wakamiya’s hand, now it become like there are drugs???? There are evil monkeys???? Gang pacts????? Quoting that Lady Gaga Meme;

You can say it makes you want more of its twists and turns in Yamauchi’s inner worlds.

Not to mention, I love the world-building that it is not jarring at all, but rather it serves you like a 9 course Michelin meal, which its politics, surroundings, mythos and livelihood interweaved so beautifully. I admit I am jealous how it is written, as I cannot even pen these worlds so intriguing and yet so brutal, which could be similar to real life.

As David Lean, one of my heroes said ‘I'm first and foremost interested in the story, the characters.’ and it really shined through the series, with the relationship between Wakamiya and Yukiya, who lived different lives; Wakamiya burdened with the destiny of protecting his fellow crows and Yukiya, a witty kid who learns that the world he lives is not what it seems and yet bonded by loyalty. They propelled the story through their observations and interactions with their allies, enemies or conspirators.

On the side note the endcard after every episode done by Natsuki-sensei (The illustrator for the Yatsugarsu series) which are so gorgeous by itself (I saw an online website where you can buy the postcard set itself, which I am jealous as it is expensive)

I am quite upset how this anime flew by the radar, with the more popular ones, but if you love court intrigue, refreshing world buliding and complex characters, this series is for you,and I hope you enjoy the ride as I was

I am hoping to get my hands to work on the novels by Abe-sensei itself so I can read it by itself, because it is just amazing

[cienie-isengardu]

NRS should have used the og origins timeline of the brothers born as Chinese-Americans for MK1.

It would give reason to why Bi-Han seems beyond bitter and resentful of being forced in the Lin Kuei beyond his control then he wants power and control of the clan because he was ribbed of having other choices. Imagine the young brothers in school and learning and have some friends and playing and the dreams of being who they want to be and then they're forced to be ruthless warriors and only devote loyalty to the Lin Kuei and/or defense of Earthrealm.

In the original origins, it was sadly implied that their mother and baby sister were killed by their father. How horrible! Also they were probably Eurasian since it was implied their mother was white and they used white actors to be the brothers. (Even though it makes more sense for them to be asian since they are biracial)

This idea could have more tragic conclusion and Bi-Han's hatred and bitterness and hey, the jealousy, and envy he must be feeling. All these chosen ones seem to have such hopeful goals contrast to him. They probably had a normal childhoods compare to his controlled one.

Bi-Han could have a love-hate relationship with the Lin Kuei. He hates them and his father for taking him away from being normal and the freedom of choices he could make, took him away from everything he known. Then he loves the Lin Kuei because now he's in control of them and the Grandmaster and has their complete loyalty. He will make them a nation for the Lin Kuei to take half of Earthrealm for him to rule over because the clan is all he has left. His choices was beaten him to always think of the Lin Kuei, so of course it literally means they are everything to him now.

Bi-Han lost his beloved mother and baby sister. And now his brothers are against him and devoted to their late father. The old man probably was two-face about it, who was kind and fatherly towards his young sons and raised them with an open gentle hand. To Bi-Han, he was cruel, manipulative tyrant who gave his older son no mercy to the training of becoming a grandmaster, raised him with a closed fist.

I mean this would have been more interesting! Or something like this!

As much as I miss the original or the alternative origin, anything similar happening now would put Liu Kang in bad light, as the Keeper of Time that allows such vile practices and benefits the most from it. What understandably is not something NRS would want for their main Chosen One and the great Champion of the Good Side. 

But to be honest, Bi-Han doesn’t need additional trauma that shaped him in previous timelines, as what he got is still a solid reason to resent the Fire Lord. He and Kuai Liang said that members of Lin Kuei are trained from childhood and trained differently. Lin Kuei aren’t meant to be the Champions that will officially be recognized by befriended realms and bask in the glory of this honor and glory of their victories. Kitana literally asks in her intro vs. Sub-Zero “Why are Lin Kuei never Earthrealm champions?” and it is because they are the black ops, a private army of  Fire Lord, never recognized by nations but who do the dirty job for Earthrealm’s sake for literal centuries. The members of Lin Kuei are not trained to fight honorably but to eliminate the threat Liu Kang points out to them and kill whoever stands in their way which we could see during the mission to the enemy's hideout. And this is not a life any of them choose as adults, like usually happens with people enlisting to the widely understood uniformed services, especially for commando or spy jobs. They are destined to uphold the “honorable tradition” since they are children and frankly, it is not just the physical training but also psychological preparation as killing is not something that comes so easily as one may think. Bi-Han literally said to Reiko in one intro “To kill, one must be cold-blooded” and sure, it could be just the cryomancer thing, but may as well be a hint what Lin Kuei training included, as a means to transform children into deadly weapons. So how much Bi-Han or Kuai Liang or any other child born into Lin Kuei had a relatively happy childhood is up to debate. And Bi-Han as heir to Grandmaster had an additional role to prepare for and the older he was, the more resentful and frustrated he became, as Lin Kuei for their devoted service to Liu Kang and Earthrealm didn't get much in return. Which I think is an understandable source for his anger and frustration, especially if his mother died in line of duty. 

Of course, it would be much better if we had a chance to see how Bi-Han interacted with his father and if the man treated his sons differently, especially if he was more demanding from his first-born or not. But I feel Bi-Han doesn’t need to endure additional abuse to feel his father failed the clan, as he experiences first-handly how Liu Kang treats his beloved Champions and Outworld friends and how Lin Kuei is treated to feel the servitude is unfair and akin to slavery than any honorable duty. I would love, if the NRS gave us a more complex and exploited backstory for Lin Kuei and the brothers, but I think there is enough ground to give Bi-Han benefit of doubt that his claims aren’t baseless and there indeed is something tragic about his desire for freedom, for himself and whole clan.

I don't mind the current biography, but for sure giving us more details would make everything better in my humble opinion.

[newsatsix1986]

A beautiful behind the scenes photo of Stephen Peacocke and Michelle Lim Davidson in S1 ❤️

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Rob Rickards and Noelene Kim are an unlikely couple, but have been able to find many things to bond over. They see each other's interests and capabilities and use this knowledge to strengthen their relationship.

Canonically in The Newsreader, Rob was an ex-VFL (Victorian Football League) player, playing for the St Kilda Saints. He had moved down from his childhood home of Echuca especially for this. We can assume that he might have started sometime in the late 1960s/early 70s (he definitely played the 1971 premiereship, as mentioned by Russell Street Bombing survivor Terry at the hospital), but by the late 1970s or early 1980s he had to quit his football career due to a hamstring injury. News At Six swooped him up as a "broken-down footy player" and helped transform him into a sports reporter in 1981, giving him a new lease of life and a brand new public image.

Although Noelene isn't traditionally a sports fanatic herself, she knows how much the sport means to him, and becomes well versed in the sport, under his teaching. No doubt the team becomes close to her heart as a result.

The St Kilda Football Club (also known as the Saints) originated from its original home base of St Kilda, and was founded in April 1873 - 151 years ago. Its colours are red, white and black, with the motto Fortius Quo Fidelius - "Strength Through Loyalty." To be a Saint, you must have a whole heap of loyalty, and a drive to keep turning up, which sounds just like our Rob.

They have only won a single premiership, when Rob's mate Barry Breen kicked a tie-breaking goal in 1966, seeing the St Kilda Saints gain one point over Collingwood and take home the premiereship. They came so close in the aforementioned 1971 game, but Hawthorn unfortunately beat them out.

Although Wikipedia brands them as "perennial underachievers", it's the team's ability to keep picking themselves back up that really comes through with our Rob, and how he is resilient to keep giving things a crack, even if things seem out of his league. He is proud of his team, and it's evident in the paraphernalia he has scattered all across his work and home spaces.

Go the Saints! ❤️

(All general pictures have been sourced from Google! To learn more about the Saints and to see the winning 1966 moment, click the links below!)