#instead we had to stop every two steps because literally every other person in there was taking photos and videos

[foxcassius]

"do you want to take a picture?" no "did you get any pictures?" no "aren't you sad you didn't get any pictures?" NO!!!! i am the not picture taker. i have to remind myself to take occasional selfies with my boyfriend so we can prove to the korean government we've been dating sufficiently long to get married.

[dvrk-moon]

WE SHOULD’VE LOOKED CLOSER

NISHIMURA RIKI ; 니키

PART ONE HERE

— synopsis: somehow, you’d never noticed that love was captured in photos; it was just barely outside the frame.

— word count: 3.2k

— warnings: cursing

— featuring: enhypen members, mentions of leesol (kiiikiii) and kaede (tripleS)

— playlist: chest - just b

— a/n: erm didn’t expect so many people to want a part 2. but here it is lol

— taglist : @wonietree @yagsoobin @flawlessapollo6 @firstclassjaylee @yxxderly @fairy-jojo @wonuzu @sumzysworld @vociety @arimmortel

can’t tag : @annybah @dissoc1ating

i. YOU ARE THE ONE I CAN’T FORGET

After jokingly telling you he “revoked his invite” over text, Riki called you around five minutes later to ask you — sheepishly — if you would still like to come over to the dorms and hang out.

You’d hung out nearly a million times with Riki one-on-one. You were obviously going to come over if he asked, but you were a bit hesitant to give in this time.

Ever since you’d left his dorms the prior night, you felt a little bit awkward in your own skin. Contrary to what he’d told you, none of his members had watched the horror movie with you two. In fact, most of them weren’t even home, save from Sunghoon and Jay. The aforementioned boys were off in another room gaming at the time, however.

The way that you’d sat with Riki on the couch that night wasn’t the way that best friends sit together. It was way closer together than usual — typically, you two opted to sit at opposite ends of the couch and not remotely touch each other. This time, however, you were sat thigh-to-thigh and arm-to-arm. The entire night, you could feel the heat radiating off of Riki’s body. It wasn’t like you’d never touched the boy before; you’d smacked him on the head plenty of times in your life and maybe hugged him a few times when forced to. But this type of touch was more subtly intimate than you’d done with him.

It would be hard not to acknowledge the way you felt for Riki. You’d known for many months now that you loved the boy — more than any person should feel about their best friend. Even despite this, you’d kept your feelings for him a secret in hopes to not ruin the friendship.

Neither of you had talked about the strange step in intimacy from the night prior, and you weren’t sure if he was going to. It didn’t help that the movie that you’d watched was horror, so you felt yourself jump closer to him every time there was something that remotely scared you.

Your phone buzzed once more with a text from Riki — “Do you want me to come get you” — and as soon as you saw your phone light up, you flipped it over. You needed to be alone with your thoughts for a few minutes before you could acknowledge his message. The inside of your mind was a hurricane, and at the center of it all was Nishimura Riki.

Your phone caught your attention again with another message. Your heart thumped in its chest with anticipation for a response from Riki, but instead, the message came from your friend, Leesol. The message read:

hey just wondering if we’re still on for tomorrow because i miss u :’)

Just as you were typing a response, another message came in from none other than Nishimura Riki himself. You barely had time to read the message before you literally dropped your phone out of fear:

I’m coming to get u now btw be there in 10

Your phone hit the ground with a loud thud as you tried to get yourself together. You’d just been out this morning, so you were already dressed and had some light makeup on. You didn’t want to look like a bum, but you began to worry that this would be too much for a casual hangout with Riki.

Grabbing your phone off the ground, you scrambled around your bedroom to ensure you were ready by the time Riki got to your house.

ii. COME TAKE MY SOUL AWAY

The car ride to the dorms was nearly silent. At first, Riki tried making conversation with you, but after two failed attempts, he stopped trying. In your defense, you felt like your dynamic had completely changed with him overnight. Your heart hadn’t stopped pounding since you’d gotten the text that he was on his way to get you.

Trying to make conversation once more, Riki started, “Hey, we actually just installed a TV in my room. We can hang out in there instead of the living room. I’m pretty sure the guys will be in the living room anyways.”

You managed to muster out a small “okay” in response before going silent again.

The car soon pulled onto the street of the dorms, and the manager who drove you two beckoned for the two of you to run inside into the building.

Heeseung, who seemed to maybe be the only other person in the building, greeted you with a smile before sending Riki a look. Riki offered him a closed-mouth smile before grabbing your hand and pulling you into his room.

He flipped on the light switch to the lamp next to his bed and sat down on it. Pointing towards the TV that sat on top of his dresser, he said, “Viola. Isn’t it nice? Plus, I have my PlayStation set up in here. We can game, if you want.”

You felt yourself relax a little, “Sure. I feel like we haven’t gamed in a while.”

“Do you wanna play COD?” he asked, “Or maybe Minecraft?”

“You traumatized me with a horror movie last night,” you laughed, “so I would appreciate playing a more tame game. Minecraft will do.”

Riki laughed as he recalled your reactions to the movie the night prior as he walked up to the TV and console to set up the game.

As he came back to the edge of the bed where you were sat, you didn’t fail to notice how close he had chosen to sit next to you, very reminiscent of last night.

Your heart started pounding again as Riki started the game.

iii. YOU CAN SLEEP ON MY CHEST

Around an hour later, the game was turned off and you and Riki were lying on his bed.

You got up from the bed, “This is boring.”

Standing up, you began to look around his room for something to do. Riki suggested, “Do you wanna watch a movie?”

“No,” you responded, “I’ve watched enough movies with you for the week. You’re banned from movies with me for a bit.”

You looked over and watched his chest bubble up and down with laughter, making you smile to yourself. You pulled a drawer out from one of his shelves and found something you didn’t expect to see: a photo album.

Grabbing the album and showing him, you laughed, “What’s this here?”

Riki temporarily craned his neck to look at you from across the room and just sighed in response. You walked back towards the bed and flipped it open, immediately seeing pictures of Riki as a baby and into his toddler years.

“Is this a baby picture album?”

“No,” Riki said, “only some of it is.” Riki sat up next to you, watching you flip through a few pages before reaching a certain photo. He laid his back against the wall and watched you from a distance. When you turned to show him the picture, you noticed the distance, so you scooted to sit next to him, wanting to soak up his embarrassment.

Turning the book towards him, you pointed to a photo at the bottom of the right page, “Oh my god,” you laughed, “look at us.”

The picture couldn’t have been any less embarrassing — taken more than a decade ago, and you two had to have been around six years old. At the time, you and Riki had gotten into an argument while having a play date at his house. His mom had gotten annoyed with the bickering, so she made you two hold hands until you got along. As the cherry on top, she’d made you two take a picture.

The photo was dated “17-07-2012” at the bottom with shaky handwriting. It was more likely than not Riki’s handwriting at the time.

Riki leaned over and smiled at the photo, “I remember that like it was yesterday. I hated you so much in that moment.”

“You’re acting like it wasn’t your fault that we were fighting,” you scoffed, laughing, “because it most definitely was. You got dirt on my favorite pair of pants and then laughed when I got mad.”

“It was funny!” Riki protested to you, then leaning over to flip the page.

The next photo that caught your eye was yet another photo of you two, this time around nine or ten years old. Riki had just finished a dance recital, and you’d attended with your mother. He was still in his dance outfit and was holding flowers in one hand, side hugging you with his other arm. Your arm was also wrapped around him, smiling for the picture. Riki’s eyes, however, weren’t looking at the camera. His head was ever so slightly turned to look at you.

“That outfit is horrible,” Riki laughed, “I look so dumb.”

“No,” you glared at him, “you look cute.”

“You can hardly even see my face!”

You smiled, “Yeah, you’re looking at me. I guess I was the cute one at the time.”

“You’ve always been the cute one out of us.”

You had to fight the urge for your eyes to grow the size of saucers at his off-handed comment. The silence that followed was loud. Yet still, you turned another couple of pages.

“Holy shit,” you gasped, “I forgot about this.”

The picture you’d landed on this time was a photo of you and Riki before your middle school dance. Neither of you had dates, so you just went as each other’s ‘date’. You were both around thirteen, and awkward as teens are at that age.

You cringed at yourself, “Jesus, who let me leave the house like that?”

Riki giggled, “We both look awkward as hell. You’d never guess from these pictures that we’d been best friends for forever at that point.”

“Crazy that I was still friends with you after that night. I cried so hard when I got home from that dance.”

“What?!” Riki exclaimed, turning to you, “You’ve never told me this.”

“Yeah,” you laughed nostalgically, “dude, I had the hugest crush on you back then. I saw you talk to Yamada Kaede that night and literally threw up in the bathroom because I knew she had a crush on you.”

“You did??” Riki almost yelled.

“Yes,” you said, placing the photo book down, “how did you have zero clue? I feel like I was so obvious.”

Riki furrowed his eyebrows, “Well, obviously not. And for the record, I hated Kaede. I thought she was annoying.”

“Well, nonetheless,” you continued, “that was why I left early that night. I called my mom in the bathroom and started crying as soon as she picked me up.”

“How have you never told me this?” Riki replied, “I feel so confused. You do know I had a crush on you too, right?”

You laughed, “You’re just saying that so I’ll get off your back about this. Just to let you know, I got over this when I was like fifteen.”

“No,” he said, “I’m serious. I looked awkward in that photo because I didn’t know how to react to going to the dance with you.”

You squinted at him, opening the book again, “Liar.”

A silence fell upon the both of you as you flipped through more pages.

Riki inhaled as if he was going to say something, but nothing came out.

You finally found another nostalgic picture in the back of the book: a photo of the first time you’d seen Riki since he’d gone to Korea. The photo was dated “30-06-2022”: right before the release of their Manifesto album.

“I’ve never seen this picture before,” you said, nudging Riki, “who took this?”

He looked over, “I think maybe Jake? Or a staff?”

“God,” you laughed, “we’re stuck together like glue.”

In the photo, you had yourself wrapped around Riki’s torso, and his arms were wrapped around what he could grab of you, even if you were substantially shorter than him. You remember the day clearly: going to his music video shoot to surprise him with a gift, which was his favorite snack from home and a letter you’d written him. When you saw him, you’d cried so hard that he had to change his outfit because of the makeup stain you’d left.

“Yeah,” he said, reminiscing, “missed me much?”

“More than you knew.” You admitted, not even aware of what you’d said before it came out of your mouth.

“What next,” he teased, “you’re gonna tell me you had a huge crush on me then, too? And that’s why you cried?”

“Unfortunately for your fantasy, I didn’t. I did cry, however, because you are my best friend and I did miss you.”

Riki became a bit more serious, “Did you ever have a crush on me at any other point?”

“Dude,” you laughed, “your ego is so inflated right now.”

“No, I’m serious,” he said, “like, don’t you think it’s funny that we liked each other at the same time and nothing happened?”

“Well,” you started, “to be fair, we were both kids. I don’t think anything would’ve happened. I especially hated you when you talked to Kaede, so I’m 100% sure that nothing was going to happen. I didn’t talk to you for a week, remember?”

“I do.” Riki thought for a second, “That may have been the worst week of my life.”

Pushing him, you sarcastically replied, “You’re funny.”

“I wasn’t joking though.”

A heavy silence stretched itself upon you two for longer than you would’ve liked. The gravity of the situation circled around the two of you, like you’d been talking around the same thing yet not quite reaching a point of addressing the elephant in the room.

Riki decided to break the silence first, “Did you know I cried when you went back home after that week that you visited me here? It basically broke my heart to remember that you couldn’t stay in Korea with me.”

Seeing as you didn’t respond, he continued.

“You’ve been the only constant in my life that hasn’t been family, Y/N. I cried to the members after you left because I was hit with the harsh reality that even though you had always been there for me, we were at a point then where we couldn’t be there for each other physically.”

You felt the breath catch in your throat. You trained your eyes on the photo, scared to look at Riki.

“I don’t know if this is a bad time to talk like this, but ever since you told me you were moving to Korea for college, my life has felt so different. Sure, I got everything I wanted when I debuted; I got to have my dream job, get famous, everything any person would ever want. But I still felt empty, knowing I couldn’t share this life with you of all people. The members are great to spend time with, but they aren’t you.”

You relaxed a bit, “I came here for you, you know that.”

“I figured,” he laughed, the atmosphere lightening up, “but I have to tell you something. As my best friend, can you be judgement-free this time?”

You stiffened a bit, remembering back to the girl that Riki said he had feelings for. Your worst nightmare could possibly come true: him cutting you out because she wasn’t comfortable with him having a female best friend.

“Of course.”

Riki shifted in his spot, nearly turning completely to face you. He grabbed the photo book from your hands and placed it to the side, simultaneously grabbing your hand that was practically drenched with sweat. He grimaced a bit before laughing, “Why are you sweaty?”

“I’m an anxious person,” you whined, “now can you please get on with your story. The suspense is literally going to give me a heart attack.”

“Okay, sorry,” he laughed, a fond look on his face, “but anyway. I-”

His breath became shaky.

“You moving here changed my life. I can’t risk losing you again. Even if we talked every day over the phone, it wasn’t the same as seeing you in person, or coming over to eat the food in your fridge.”

You chuckled at him, a smile forming.

“I have to tell you something personal.”

You nodded, looking into his eyes, which seethed with desperation and want.

“You know earlier when I told you that I had a huge crush on you as a kid?” He asked, looking away for a second.

“Yeah…” you trailed off, scared for what was going to come out of his mouth next.

“I… I never stopped,” Riki’s eyes darted back to yours, “I need to tell you this now, because I feel like something has changed. I couldn’t sleep last night. All I could think about was the way that you’d jumped nearly into my arms during the movie last night, and how bad I wanted to just… I don’t know… grab you. Hold you, I guess.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

Riki squeezed your hand as he continued, “I think I’m in love with you. I think I’ve been trying not to be for years, but I think- no, I know I am. Completely. And I hate how long it took for me to come to terms with it.”

You gulped, nodding to him.

“I… I hoped so.”

You both quietly laughed at yourselves, being fools in love in secret for so long.

“I feel like it was more obvious from my end,” you said, “I mean, I literally threw up at the sight of you and another girl.”

Riki smiled and nodded, “I always knew you wanted me deep down.”

“You’re such a prick,” you glared at him, “but you’re right. I always did.”

A more comfortable silence fell onto the two of you, awkwardly avoiding eye contact at the newfound confessions.

“So…” you started, “what now?”

Riki smiled largely to himself, “Can you be my girlfriend finally?”

“I’d love to.”

Riki cheered loudly and proceeded to crush you in a hug, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long!”

You laughed in his arms before he grabbed your face and kissed you, catching you by surprise.

“Riki!” You exclaimed, shocked.

“Sorry,” he cowered, “I wanted to do that for so long. I got excited.”

You fought off a smile before replying, “At least let me kiss you back before you pull away.”

The kiss was soft, yet bled with desperation from years of hidden feelings. Riki held your face in his hands like you were glass and could break at any moment. When you both pulled away, he placed his forehead on yours, trying to fight off the biggest smile.

You laughed at his attempt.

Riki grabbed the photo book once more, flipping back to the page with the picture of the school dance. Pointing to himself, he exclaimed, “He would be so proud of me right now.”

Giggling to yourself, you sat back onto the wall.

“Good to know I threw up that night for nothing.”

a/n : hai

[heavyhitterheaux]

Don't Mess With My Man (Slight NSFW)

See Me Through You Series

If you mess with my man, I'ma be the one to break it to ya

Got my girls, got my man, so find your own and leave mine alone

Don't mess with my man, I'ma be the one to break it to ya

Here's a little advice for you, find your own man

Synopsis: You didn't think of yourself as the jealous type, but when you notice all of the attention that Joe gets from other women, it quickly makes you grow frustrated

Series Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

The two of you were walking back to Joe's car to head back to his apartment since you both had finished up your classes for the day, when you suddenly heard what felt like nails on a chalkboard for what felt like the millionth time and instantly winced at the sound.

“Hiii Joe!” Another random girl said and you knew for a fact that the number of women that had come up to him since classes had started back up had to have been at least twenty.

It instantly got an eye roll from you as your boyfriend, being polite as he is, responded back with a smile before taking your hand in his and tugging you along in the direction of where his car was. This had been a thing ever since the beginning of last semester when he made his football debut at LSU, but it honestly didn't bother you then.

It was probably because he hadn't stepped into the role of being your boyfriend, even if a lot of people had thought the two of you were together seeing as you were always around him and vice versa.

You didn't think of yourself as a jealous person by any means, but all the attention that Joe got from women did bother you.

He was yours, not theirs.

And they needed to know their place.

As the two of you were walking, he was rubbing small circles on the back of your hand and glanced over at you periodically. You had been unusually quiet and Joe knew that something had been bothering you. But every time he would ask, you simply brushed him off. And this had been going on all week. Not wanting to push you, he didn't keep asking and his thought was that you would tell him when you were ready.

“Princess, did you hear me?” Joe asked, taking you out of your thoughts and you quickly shook your head no.

“No, sorry. What did you say?” You asked and stopped to look over at him.

“I asked if you wanted to get burritos for dinner.”

“Oh, yeah that's fine.” You answered and took a step in order to continue walking but noticed Joe didn't match your steps and was still standing in the same place, looking at you.

“What? Aren't we going back to your apartment?” You asked as you made your way back over to him.

“We are, but something is wrong and you aren't telling me.”

“I'm fine, nothings wrong.” You told him, but you knew deep down that he wasn't buying it.

“Then why do I feel as if you're acting off?”

“I just… this semester is going to be heavy for me and I'm thinking about all that I'm going to have to be responsible for including gymnastics. That's all.” You said hoping that would be a satisfying enough answer for him.

“That's not it either, but I'm not going to push you. When you're ready to talk, let me know.”

“There isn't even anything to talk about. I said what I said.” You replied with a slight attitude as you had slid in the passenger seat of Joe's car after he had opened the door for you and you responded immediately by closing it yourself instead of waiting for him.

Once he came around to the driver's side and got in, he put his seatbelt on and turned on the car and started driving before saying anything to you.

“Babe, I don't know what the attitude is for when I literally haven't done anything.” Joe said as he was trying to be as patient as possible with you, but it was definitely running out.

“Can you just drive, please?” You asked as you had now crossed your arms and stared out the window.

“No, I can’t just drive when my girlfriend is upset and I know something is bothering her but she refuses to tell me.”

“How many times do I have to tell you I'm fine?”

“And how many times do I have to tell you that I know you're lying to me? Why are you lying about that? I can't fix the problem if you don't tell me what it is.”

“Because you are trying to fix a problem that doesn't even exist! You know what? Just take me to my apartment. I want to be by myself.”

“Are you…? Are you serious right now?” Joe asked as he scoffed and you couldn't help but to roll your eyes once more. 

“Did I stutter?”

“Fine, as you wish.” Joe told you as he turned around and started going in the other direction. Once he pulled up to your apartment, you immediately jumped out without saying anything to him while slamming the car door behind you.

“Seriously!?” Joe asked and you could slightly hear him through the closed car door, but you didn't bother looking back at him and continued to walk straight into the building.

“Okay, love you too princess.” Joe said out loud before sighing.

Once you reached your apartment, you threw your bag onto the couch before letting out a frustrated sigh. You did exactly the opposite of what you intended to and now you know for a fact that your boyfriend was mad at you even if he didn't outright say it. 

One thing you appreciated Joe for was being patient with you even when you didn't think you deserved it. All in all, you believed that it all boiled down to what he saw you go through with your ex-boyfriend. You had never really liked talking about your feelings and would bottle everything up until it came boiling to the surface. Simply because any time you tried to talk to him, he would brush you off.

Meanwhile, Joe was at a loss and had no idea how to make it better since he wasn’t quite sure what the problem was to begin with. He noticed that you had been off for basically the entire week and planned to get an answer out of you one way or another.

To get his mind off of it, he decided to head to the gym in order to get rid of some of his frustration. At the end of the day, he knew that he loved and cared about you so the last thing he ever wanted to do was make you feel as if you couldn't talk to him or make it seem that he wasn't approachable or a good listener.

But, he also knew that he had to be patient from what you had been dealt with when you were with Trevor. Plenty of times he would see you upset after an argument that you had with him and every time you would tell him what the argument was about, it would always be (in his opinion) Trevor's fault. 

It had been two whole days.

During those two days,  it only consisted of you reading his text messages and if you responded, they were only one or two word answers.

As bad as Joe wanted to send a text to Ja'Marr, he decided against it seeing as the two of them weren't exactly still at odds after finding out the two of you were together, but still weren't talking to each other as much as they were before. The last thing he wanted was for you to feel as though he was going behind your back, but he was desperate at this point. At least at the end of the day, he wasn't completely ignoring him like he did for two weeks after he found out. 

So, here goes.

Joe- Do you know what's wrong with your sister?

The bubble kept appearing and disappearing and Joe wondered if he was even going to get a response.

Uno- Aren't you her boyfriend? Why are you asking me?

Joe- Because she hasn't talked to me in two days and how long are you going to be mad at me about that?

Uno- I’m staying mad at you until I get my apology for going behind my back. Same goes for her.

Joe- But… You literally WANTED me to date her and said it YOURSELF. So what is this fake outrage for?

Uno- I will throw a weight at your big headed ass the next time we're in the gym 

Joe- So, now you see how stupid this is?

Uno- And that's why you can't throw 

Joe- TAKE IT BACK. TAKE THAT SHIT BACK RIGHT NOW.

Uno- No. Maybe later. But we can call a truce.

Joe- Not calling shit until you take it back

Uno- Fine. You can throw and no, I don't know what's wrong with her because she's still mad at me about how I reacted when she was in the hospital. I mean, I get it. Her safety is more important than knowing you two were swapping spit. She's barely talked to me over winter break.

Joe- Because I have no idea what I did and she won't tell me

Uno- Bribe her with food. Works every time.

Joe- I guess I'll just call her for the millionth time

Uno- No, go to her apartment and bust down the door

Joe- Uh, no. I'll probably have to pay for that

Uno- You know what I mean. Let me know how it goes and meet me at the gym tomorrow morning. Better yet, I'll come to your apartment so we can go together.

Joe- If your sister doesn't kill me and bury me on the football field first

As soon as Joe put his phone on the couch next to him, he heard a knock at the door and was confused about who it could be. Once he opened it, he was met with the sight of his girlfriend staring at him.

“Hi.”

“Surprised to see you. I guess you suddenly remembered that you had a boyfriend.” Joe said as you sighed.

“I deserve that.” You replied as Joe then moved to the side to let you in.

Once you walked in and sat on the couch, Joe sat next to you before taking your hand in his.

“Are you ready to talk now? Not expecting that you would actually come over here since I thought you were still mad at me for a reason that I have yet to figure out.” Joe asked as he pulled you closer to him on the couch.

You weren't expecting that he actually would since you still felt that he was probably mad at you for being mad at him and ignoring him. Might as well get everything out in the open since there was no use in hiding it any longer. 

“Can't fix it if you don't tell me, princess.”

“I… I don't like all the attention that other girls give you. Especially when I'm standing right there and they act like I'm not even there. I guess I didn't really notice how much it happened until we got together. Obviously when we were just friends, it didn't bother me, but it seems like it's happening more often.” You quietly said and he slowly nodded his head before he answered you.

“So, instead of telling me this, you decide to get mad, get an attitude with me and refuse to talk to me about how you're feeling? Is that right? When this could have been over and done with?”

“I'm trying to be better about that. I know I shouldn't have waited, but I needed to get my thoughts together first.” You replied without looking at him.

Joe took a deep sigh before replying, and turning your head so that you would be facing him.

“You never had a problem telling me about how you felt when we were just friends. So what's the difference now? There shouldn't be one. If something bothers you, you need to tell me. I can do a lot of things, but reading your mind isn't one of them.”

“I know. I guess I just keep everything in since it stems from Trevor always telling me that I was too dramatic or making something out of nothing.”

“How many times do we have to go over this? I am not him and will never be him. You mean a lot to me and I don’t know how many more ways that I can show you that. He was an asshole and still is. He should never even be a topic of conversation between us. You're with me, not him.”

“I know, it's just hard to break out of that mentality.”

“Now back to the reason why you were upset. Let me ask you this, am I in a relationship with you or with them?”

“Me.”

“Okay, so what's the problem? I can be nice and speak to them but at the end of the day, you're the only one I want. You got it?”

“Got it.”

“I don't know if this has to do with you being younger than me or it's just that you're used to being treated like shit, but we can't keep doing this. You tell me the minute something upsets you and I'll do my best to make it better.”

“I've only had one boyfriend other than you so I guess I thought the way he was treating me at one point was acceptable but everyone around me including you was trying to tell me the opposite.” You confessed and he nodded showing you that he was in agreement.

“And… I don't like talking about my feelings and I never have. I tend to keep things inside and I know that it’s not good.”

“Because it leads to things like this.” Joe added and you gave him a slow nod as you started to play with your bracelet that had been a Christmas gift from him before he pulled you onto his lap and placed several kisses on your cheek, making you smile.

“Now, are we good? I only have eyes for you and don't you ever forget it.”

“We're good. I guess I just needed reassurance.” 

“And you know how much I love you because you literally hear me say it 50 million times a day. So, me paying attention to another girl who isn't you? Not happening. But deep down, I think you know that already.”

“You're right.”

“Now that we got that out of the way, can we finally have our burritos for dinner? The dinner that we were supposed to have two days ago?”

“Yes, and I want extra guacamole on the side. Oh and a mango jarritos.” You replied as Joe reached over you to get his phone in order to order it. But, you slowly took it from him and he looked at you confused.

“What's the problem? Don't you want me to order it? I don't want it to get too late and they end up closing.”

“I definitely want food, but I'm hungry for something else right now.” You told him and he immediately smirked.

“Let me order this first because I will not be dealing with your hungry ass if they end up closing before we're finished. Then I'm about to have a whole nother problem.”

“You are literally so dramatic. It's Saturday and they don't close until 2 am.”

“Hmm, lies you tell because I believe that you were talking about yourself. And not until 2 am? That means absolutely nothing once I get your clothes off.”

“Because you demand that I cum 85 times.”

“I… are you complaining? Because I can stop at one.”

“No! I'm not complaining!”

“Sounds like you were so we can just sit here for the rest of the night.” Joe told you as he shrugged and you turned up your nose at him.

“You can sit here. I'll be in your bedroom using my vibrator that I left over here.”

“I know that can't feel better than me being inside you.”

“Why does it matter? You wanted to sit here all night. So move so I can get up and go do that.”

“I'm not moving. I haven’t gotten to hold you for two days.”

“Fine.” Was all you said before slowly pulling down your leggings and throwing them to the floor while you placed two fingers in your mouth and slowly began to suck on them.

Before you could slide your fingers inside of you, Joe slid his in instead making you gasp.

“Such a spoiled little brat.” He whispered in your ear as he used his free hand to quickly reach underneath your shirt to undo your bra. 

Once it was undone, you took the bottom of your shirt to pull it above your head and threw it to the side before moving your bra that had already been falling down your shoulders to the left of you leaving you completely bare in your boyfriend's lap.

You could feel his erection growing underneath you as he added another finger while increasing his pace and slowly began placing kisses all along your neck.

“Shiiiit…..” You quietly breathed out.

“Mm, my baby is so wet for me. Look at all that.” Joe whispered as his hand was literally saturated in your juices ever since they started running down his hand and was now all over his sweatpants. He pulled it out so that you would be able to see it and brought it up to his mouth before tasting it and slowly slid his fingers back in making another moan escape from your lips.

“Fuck, babe.”

“Spread your legs wider.” 

You did as you were told and Joe was able to go deeper. He slowly started to rub your clit with his other hand and you knew that you weren't going to last much longer.

“That's it princess. You about to cum all over my hand? I know for a fact that your vibrator doesn't make you feel as good as I do.”

At this point, you were about to slide off of the couch because of the puddle that you had created underneath of you and your only saving grace was Joe having a tight hold on you.

“Baby…..” 

You could barely get the word out before you squirted all over his hand as he was once again placing kisses along your neck as you rode out your high.

“Good girl, that's it, princess. Ride it out.”

When your breathing had finally slowed, you looked down to see the mess that you had made as Joe was licking your juices off his fingers and soon held them up to your mouth for you to do the same.

“See how good you taste?”

Nodding your head, you let out a small laugh as you looked down once more.

“I think I owe you new sweatpants.”

It was seven in the morning when Ja'Marr had knocked on Joe's apartment door and when he didn't get an answer, he decided to call him.

When the call went unanswered, he rolled his eyes and decided to try the doorknob anyway to see if it was open. 

Lucky for him, it was and he quickly slipped into the apartment.

“He has got to stop leaving his door unlocked.”

Ja'Marr then walked to Joe's bedroom and quickly opened the door. 

“Joe! Wake ya ass… AHHHH. WHAT THE HELL!?” 

He was met with the sight of Joe literally throwing himself over you so that your body would be shielded from your brother's eyes.

“Ja’Marr!”

“I knocked but you didn't answer! Your apartment was unlocked. We said that we were going to the gym!” He said as he was now covering his eyes with his hands.

“Well can you get out so we can get dressed!?” You asked as Joe was quietly laughing as his head was on your shoulder.

“I see the two of you have made up and yes I'll be out here. Yall need to send me a schedule or something so that this doesn't happen again. Ew.”

“Don't sit on the couch!” Joe yelled as Ja'Marr turned around to walk away and he did a double take.

“What the? Oh, yall some nasty ass fuckers. What the hell did yall do to the couch!? Never mind. I do NOT want to know.”

“Ja’Marr! Leave!”

“Trust Me, I'm going. You two have scarred me for life. All I saw was Joe's pale ass diving in order to cover you. A sight I NEVER want to see again.”

“JA’MARR!” Both you and Joe yelled at the same time in order to keep him from rambling.

“I'm going! I'm going!”

Once the door was fully closed, Joe picked his head up to look at you before reaching down to kiss you with a laugh escaping from him after.

“I forgot that I told him to come over this morning. Sorry, baby. That was my fault.”

“Glad to see that the two of you made up though. But go ahead and go with him. I'll be waiting for you when you get back.”

“Just like this, right?” He asked as he reached down to take one of your nipples in his mouth and slowly began sucking on it.

“Just like this, promise. So we can finish what we started.”

“Good, because I have a request when I come back.”

“And what's that?”

“Reverse cowgirl.”

“Hmm, I think I can do that for you.”

[bri-cheeses]

Our Little Secret - Part 2

| Rosekiller microfic | Word count: 787 | Part one is here |

-

“Can’t you just tell me plainly like any other normal person?”

Evan ignored that.

“Ravenclaw party. Fourth year.”

“What?” Barty asked, shocked back into bewilderment once more.

“That’s when I figured out I liked guys.”

Barty’s response was a beat late. “Uh… okay?”

“Do you want to know how?” Evan pressed. He took a step forward. He wasn’t sure whether he was gratified or angry that Barty took a step back.

“Yeah, sure,” Barty huffed. “Whatever gets you to finally spit it out.”

Evan closed his eyes. Barty’s barbed words were almost enough to stop him from saying it, but he had already made up his mind. And he doubted that their relationship could really be salvaged now that they had both managed to mess it up so terribly, so really, there was nothing holding him back anymore.

He opened his eyes slowly, calling to mind dim lights, bad music, and too many teenagers in one space. He took a deep breath.

“You were dancing with this girl,” he began slowly. “I don’t even know who it was, because I didn’t spare her a second glance. Not when you were there next to her, dancing and smiling like you were having the time of your life. And then you looked back over to me and somehow you smiled even wider, then gave me this stupid little wink and in that moment all I could think was how much I wanted to kiss you.”

Barty’s breath hitched. Evan ignored it.

“Olivia Gleaves, fourth year again. The first ever girlfriend you had, who I hated so fiercely that Cas had to corner me and tell me to knock it off, that you were my best friend, yes, but that didn’t mean I could feel entitled to being your number one person all the time. And so I shut up and stopped glaring and I was a good little “best friend” until you two broke up three weeks later.”

“Barret Fay, fifth year. The first guy you ever kissed. Coincidentally, I broke my hand that night, and a dent found its way into the wall. Lucky for me, I suppose, that we had a big Transfiguration paper due the next day and I could easily write it off as frustration with schoolwork.

“December 16th, fifth year. We got caught under the mistletoe, and instead of laughing it off and kissing me on the cheek like you had with every single one of our friends, you refused to even touch me and spent the dinner afterwards eating in complete silence, and I made sure to never walk through doorways with you again during the holiday season.

“Cooper Covenhelm, sixth year. The first actual boyfriend you ever had, and the first guy to threaten me to stay out of the way and to not talk to you unless I absolutely had to. So I took the back burner for the next two months and let Regulus fill in as your best friend, then tried not to let anything slip when you finally cornered me and asked why I had been avoiding you. I don’t remember what I said, but you broke up with Cooper a week later and I felt so relieved I could hardly breathe.

“There are a bunch of other things I could talk about. The runs I started going on just to get a break from you and clear my head. All the people who threw themselves at me but I rejected because I was too hung up on someone else. The way Regulus figured it out at the end of last year and actually looked sad on my behalf, because, I’m assuming, he knew how impossible it was, too. The fact that I lied about what I smelled in Amortentia, the way literally everyone else in our friend group has figured it out, that time that you accidentally stole one of my shirts and I didn’t say anything because I liked how you looked in it… the way you kissed me last night, then told me just now that it was a mistake and I should keep quiet about it.”

“So you’ll excuse me if I’m a little angry right now. But I’m sure that you’re right. It was a mistake, and I’ll keep quiet about it because that’s what I’m best at, isn’t it?”

Evan waited a beat for Barty to say something, then shook his head when nothing came. He should’ve known better than to expect anything, honestly.

“I’m going to breakfast,” was all Evan said. And he turned around and walked away, cursing Barty for never being able to see him as anything more than a friend, and hating himself for hoping that he ever would.

-

(Part three)

[cameronspecial]

Hi, so I have a scenario in mind; where Zach loses his memories and instead of fixating on a relationship, he can't even remember having, he instead finds himself falling for his best friend, and conveniently, the only person he does remember. And it's just Y/n trying to convince him of all the good times he and his girlfriend had (because she's a "good friend that wants him to be happy even if it's not with her") but he couldn't care less, because none of the superficial shit she tells him, compares to the memories he has of her.

She'd be like, "Oh, you two are so cute, omg 🙄 you take walks together, you eat together, everyone thinks you look cute together. Blah blah blah..."

And he's basically like, "and what? A dog and his owner could do that. But us? That's the real shit, baby." Sorry, this got long xx

That Shit Has Nothing On Us

Pairing: Zach MacLaren x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.5K

Masterlist

When Zach got hit by the car, the only person he could remember was Y/N. Even though they were best friends and attached by the hip before the accident, he, now, clings to her like Winnie the Pooh to a honey pot and not in the same way he did before he got hit. He becomes more affectionate and touchy. He always wants to have skin-to-skin contact with her in some way. He always wants to be around her. She’s tried to tell him that he has Zoey Wallace. That she is his girlfriend, he just doesn’t care. Sure, she has had a crush on them since they were five, but she knows he is Zoey’s and she doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize his relationship. 

They are watching the Scream franchise and he knows they don’t scare her, yet he insists on wrapping his arm around her. “I don’t know why you wanted to have a marathon. They aren’t scary and are so predictable,” she complains, groaning at the not-surprising death of another character. Zach shrugs, “Come on. Don’t tell me you aren’t a little scared.” His arm brings her closer to his side. “Zach, they literally do the oh no the killer isn’t actually killed bit in every movie,” she points out. He grins at her, “Well, if you don’t want to watch the movies, then we can always make out.” “You have a girlfriend, Zach. You guys used to be so in love. You would go on walks to practice together. Kick the ball around. Eat with each other,” she argues, moving out of his hold. He gets up and looks into her eyes, “Everything I’ve done and talked about with her is all surface-level shit. It’s like I’m a dog and she’s my owner. But us? That’s the real shit, Baby. Everything I remember about us has always been so much deeper than anything I have with her.” “You can’t compare the present with the past. You just don’t know the deeper stuff you’ve had with her,” Y/N disagrees with a shake of her head. 

“I’m comparing the present with the present Y/N. She’s always on the move with life and stuff and never takes the time to just stop. She never lets us get to know each other again.” 

“I don’t know what you want me to do, Zach?”

“I want you to say that you’ll let me kiss you.”

“You have a girlfriend.”

“Not anymore.”

Y/N freezes at his words. “W-what? What do you mean you not anymore?” He gives her a smile, “We broke up. I didn’t feel it was right to keep dating her when I’m in love with you.” “Y-you’re in love with me?” she asks with hope in her eyes. He steps closer to her, “Since we were five years old.” Her arms wrap around his neck and their lips meet in a fiery kiss. Who knew amnesia could be the start of a beautiful thing? 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia

[tubbytarchia]

pause. zoom. enhance. good universe smallidarity being the one where joel isnt homophobic. i need to know more about your bad universe smallidarity joel <3

LMAO well "bad universe smallidarity" is how I interpret smallidarity personally. I know my following has been curated a lot by this point but I still get anxious to comment on it out in the open, so I'm just gonna: This is about characters. It's about characters. Hello I'm talking about characters and this says absolutely nothing about any relationships present in the real world and I wouldn't have it any other way than it is now. This is about characters and I am a big fucking fan of Jizzie, don't even doubt me (said in general, not to you lol)

Anyway. I made a long post about this before but it's a little bit cringe so I'm gonna try to sum my thoughts up again: I love analysing Joel's freak behavior and to me his character reads as homophobic but in a deeply closeted way. His relationship with Lizzie is extremely cute but I get more aroace vibes from it than anything honestly. Their characters would have gotten together because, it made sense to. "Hey we like each other, might as well get married" and good for them, but although they are cute and every now and then proclaim their love, it feels more like an obligatory sentiment to make to me, their characters within the Life series and other SMPs I've watched with them just don't strike me as a couple if you take away the specific terms they use that confirm it. Like honest to god someone can try and make a compilation of that and I'm willing to bet that the compilation of him and Jimmy being weird would be at least comparable in length. And frankly I don't think Lizzie gives much of a fuck anyway

Joel's treated Jimmy very undesirably in the past, main culprit being ESMP2, until out of nowhere he chooses to end their rivalry and proclaim them two best friends instead, which Jimmy very easily goes along with. This very sudden change in their relationship being enforced by Joel makes me think he came to some revelation and had a good think about it. That's a lie, he's bad at that, he probably had a meltdown instead and didn't know how to fix things other than to go tell Jimmy "hey lets be friends now and um impose new law". This is where he contributed to the Jimmy ecosystem (AKA the harmful environment and people that enforce the idea that Jimmy is inherently lesser than them) the most and then abruptly stopped. Instances of him belittling Jimmy one way or another still happen afterward but it really has changed and become both more lenient and less frequent. What has been a constant however is the weirdass homoerotic behavior

This since and before ESMP2, but it really gives vibes of someone in love but neglecting to acknowledge it and/or combating those feelings with vocal disapproval of any intimacy that could be inferred. He has a wife after all, in fact, he'll remind you every chance he gets. Joel has no problem indulging in and joking about more sexual approaches vs more affectionate ones. Eg, the neck kisses, calling Jimmy babe, having pillow talk with Tango and literally making a baby with both Jimmy and Sausage in ESMP. But anything affectionate makes him feel vulnerable and so that's a no-no. I have no good explicit examples for this other than the fact that he just doesn't engage in affectionate engages/jokes much (not even with Lizzie) and him refusing to hold Jimmy's hand in SL. It's all jokes, and if it does get too sus, no worries, he can always just proclaim "I have a wife!!" as a no-homo safety net. But methinks he's just in denial. Unfortunately when he starts to grapple with his feelings I think he becomes homophobic and has probably called himself every slur out there. It'd make sense to me given how he often acts around Jimmy. It's not that he has anything against the concept of gay, he just doesn't know how to handle himself being gay

But, along with him trying to step out of the ecosystem and instead wanting to support Jimmy, he's also become more open to intimacy? For lack of a better word. He's been much less outward about his interactions with Jimmy being jokes, eg the RL and WL kisses where they're both just fucking soft about it man and just carry on, or him declaring himself to just be flirting with Jimmy to Gem and Scar in WL with no caveat. Still, Joel absolutely can't express genuine love or care in any conventional manner to Jimmy which hmm. Why might that be... WL puts Joel's worry for Jimmy to the forefront where he is VERY vocally upset about almost each of Jimmy's deaths but can't express this to him any other way than to call him a loser. Other people might hear of his worry (eg Gem) or he'll defend Jimmy to them (disapproving of the premature grave people built for him in SL. This in general is really important in signifying his departure from the ecosystem by disapproving of others within it). He is very nice to Jimmy, like in WL (especially considering Jimmy's several attempts at killing him for no real reason) but only outside of vocal confirmation

This is why in the smallidarity compilation I included clips like him in Phasmo just saying he was worried about Jimmy TO Jimmy because this fucker never says that so this is substantial material for me. It's character development, maybe he's slowly exiting the closet and coming to terms with his feelings and that he can be "vulnerable". Anyway that's why I label him homophobic but the point is that he really does care Jimmy a lot and he's been much better to him and by virtue less homophobic towards himself

[wellofdean]

Sorry ,for me personally, it has to be out loud acknowledge to even remotely make up for how badly they treated fans over the years, the out loud queerbaiting in one breath and mocking in the next. The in text gay jokes, sexism and homophobia. The digs at their own fans.

They want the credit without having to do it. Again. They want the pat on the back they need to earn it this time.

Years of baiting for views and profit needs a payoff imo. Sorry people downplaying how important the canonization of this ship in particular is just hurts to see over and over. Stop letting them off the hook please. You deserve more. We all do.

It’s important. It does matter.

The cas/destiel hope baiting continued with the Winchesters and that’s why I’m at a put up or shut up moment with Jensen and the writers. He and Danneel kept the hype up every week that the show was airing all the while knowing cas doesn’t even get a name drop. He’s not even hinted at. Mary/john paralleled destiel so many times yet refused to call it want it was.

They could have shut it down week one, they interacted on tweeter a lot during airing and knew what fans thought there was going to be an acknowledgment or hint that never happened. They are smart people, they saw the speculation and hype but didn’t step in with a gentle ‘sorry guys this is about the new crew’ they fanned the hope instead with ‘something big happens’ that was just dean meeting the new team.

Loved the Winchesters as a show, sad it got dropped cause I loved the new cast so much. That said the baiting hurt and wasn’t necessary, the show was good.

Everyone is looking back with rose colored glasses and rewriting history. But things were ugly with the spn team/cast/writers at times. The homophobia was pretty out loud in a way it was allowed to be in the early 00s. They’ve grown and that’s wonderful but it still happened.

They need to earn the praise they want imo. No hate! Glad you are happy! just feels a little unfair to say we should all let them off the hook again and be happy with nothing while praising the benevolent straights. Just my two cents 😅💚💙

I want to answer this sympathetically, because I know it's disappointing that no one has been willing to just say "Dean and Cas are gay for each other" out loud, and I don't think there are many people in this fandom who picked up what the narrative was putting down, and were not disappointed in the finale for LOADS of reasons, only one of them being that Dean never had the chance to acknowledge what Cas said to him. I understand your feelings, my anonymous friend, I really do. I too found the end of Supernatural deeply frustrating, because they managed to erase the meaningful journeys of every single character, not just Dean, though what they did with Dean was the worst. I completely understand wanting them to JUST FUCKING SAY IT. I do. I get you. I simply do not agree.

My argument, which I have made many, many times, is that what you want is THERE in the narrative. They made Cas Dean's ride or die, they made it obvious that Dean can't carry on without Cas -- that the loss of Cas means Dean loses his will to live. That was explicit. They made it clear that more than anyone else, EVEN Sam, Cas is essential to him. They structured the narrative around Dean and Cas's emotional beats. They let Cas say the obvious thing out loud, and then showed us Dean behaving exactly as Dean would in a situation like that -- in the midst of his existential crisis about who he is and whether he has ever had free will, and with the world falling around them -- they showed us Dean unable to speak, unable to respond but overwhelmed with emotion. Like, remember that when Mary died when Dean was four, he was unable to speak? Is it really so hard to imagine that he loves Cas with all his heart? To read love in Dean's watery eyes, and the way he chokes down his heart and begs Cas not to do this? Not to being saying goodbye? I mean... I CAN DO THAT MATH. Literally everything about the story supports it. IT IS THERE.

Fandom always argues: if Cas were a woman, we wouldn't have any questions, so what I am just wondering is, why do we have questions again? Is it because we (homophobically) can't just see it for what it is because it's gay? Because, when it's gay we lose our ability to interpret narrative, and we need to be told, like we are 5 years old, what's happening in a perfectly obvious story? Or, is it a skill issue? Is it because we need the creators of the story to affirm our interpretation? We need the actors to just TELL US what they meant when they did that thing with their faces? Do we need their permission to understand it for what it is?

I've said many times that calling what happened on Supernatural 'queerbaiting' because no one ever made out or fucked on the maps table is really offensive to me actually. Don't you know that there are queer people in this world who never get to live their truths? Who just ache and yearn and want, and never get to have? Like, that there are in fact queer people who are afraid to say what they feel, or who don't understand or embrace who they really are and what they really need until it's too late? Are those not QUEER EXPERIENCES? I love Dean and I love that story because it's queer as hell and it makes ME feel seen, because I am like him! I am a queer person of his age who didn't ask myself those questions seriously enough in time! My own queerness is very fucking real, and it is UNLIVED. That HAPPENS to actual queer humans, and like, it's not queerbaiting when it's just queer, but didn't tell you the queer story YOU wanted it to tell. You saw years of tease? I saw years of choices, and love, and accretion of deep wells of emotion. I saw a clear romance, and a character becoming. It was a story I needed, AS A QUEER PERSON.

And the Winchesters was just joyful if you went in with that understanding of the previous story. It was like getting an A+ in Supernatural week after week from Dean himself. I can accept that the stars didn't align for Cas/Misha to come back in the first season, accept that if he were coming back, it needed to be more than a cameo to make it right, and that it didn't work out. I am so sad it was cancelled, but I can accept that it was leading someplace it didn't get to go. That's not queerbaiting, either! It's telling a story that was aborted, and I think if you don't see that, then that is DEFINITELY a skill issue.

I'm not looking back with rose coloured glasses; Supernatural is fresh in my mind. I watched it again without the internal pressure of expectations that aren't going to be met, and let it tell me what it was really doing all along. I am happy. It's a really compelling, deeply romantic, deeply queer story. I don't need permission from anyone involved to think that, and I don't need it explained to me. I understand wanting it to just be fully explicit, but I would not trade the story it did tell for a simpler, less engaging one, that asked less of me. I love it very much AS IT IS.

And, please: point me to this fabled abuse of fans. I have never really seen an example of it that is not easily debunked with a little bit of context.

[gimmea5trawbm]

*VI FANFIC* - short story

disclaimer this is literally the first ever fic ive written bare with me as a beginner, they will get better 😏. story set in first person narration. MDNI!! 18+ only. follow me for more upcoming 😋. enjoy!!!

exploring her undercity

It’s been 3 days since she was sent here, i can’t help but stare at her every time i walk past her cell. Every time i get a closer look at the tattoos on her back travelling down her body, the butterfly sensation in my stomach makes me just want her to take advantage of my body in any way possible. I finally worked up the courage to go up to her cell, it feels wrong because we are from opposing sides, im an enforcer and she’s from the undercity, but fuck it, now is my only chance.

I grabbed my keys and opened the cell doors, “What the fuck are you doing?” she said eyes crunched. Fuck that made me weak, something about her frustrations really turn me on but i cant tell her that. “I uh- i just wanted to see if you needed anything” i gulped. She rolled her eyes and ignored, i creeped closer slower, my fingers dragging across her arm up and down, i didn’t want to do this but i knew it felt right. “What are you-“ she said slowly retrieving her sentence. I know she liked it but didn’t want to admit it. I wanted to tell her how long i’ve wanted to do this but instead i just showed her. As i stepped closer, our breaths became short and the tension was building as our faces were now only inches apart. I backed her up against the walk so slowly, removing her jacket and now kissing on her neck. Small kisses travelling down her neck to her chest, i needed this. She now wasn’t so tense and eventually gave in to the temptation. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a while” i breathed. “Well what’s stopped you” she said. She now took full control, dominating the situation she turned me over, stripping off my uniform piece by piece, kissing me down my body.

We are now both naked, bodies pressed together making out in this dirty cell, it was so hot. “Fuck” i moaned in her ear, she now had the control as she set me up and started moving down my body, she’s now down below, looking up at me in my eyes as my breaths became heavy she went in with her tongue. Slow motions she moved up and down with more passion every time. This feeling made me weak inside and i was now moaning louder than i ever imagined. Eventually she brought in her fingers and started with one and then two, slower going in and out with her tongue as well. At this point we were both hot, moaning together and we were both hitting satisfaction. She kept going slow with her tongue and fingers, my breaths getting quicker until i felt it. She made me cum. “Oh my god” i gasped. She slowly came back up with a devilish grin on her face knowing she accomplished. I sat back trying to grasp what just happened and i knew what i had to do.

I now had her pressed against the wall and i went down slowly kissing on her body until i hit her sweet spot, i insert both fingers, no warning, and heard her gasp, i think she was surprised i could do that. I started to go faster, going in and out repeatedly. The room full with moans. “Oh fuck” she said grabbing my hair cupped in her hand. My tongue now doing the work, going in more until i could feel her insides pulsating. I could feel how warm she was, her insides tensing with the pressure of my tongue and fingers now both inside of her. She was moaning more than what i thought she was capable of. “Fu-fuck” she shakes. My rhythm speeding up as i could feel her tense up between her legs knowing what was about to happen, she tried to fight it but i knew she wouldn’t be able to hold back. She let out a gasp as she came. It didn’t take much for her, i was shocked but also intrigued. We both collected our breaths and smiled at each other as we sat down against the wall.

She was still very shaky trying to grasp what just happened. Mission accomplished.

“Not bad for an enforcer” she grinned at me as i dressed myself and left. As i left with a smile on my face i turned back to see vi standing, smiling at me as she dangled the cell keys to me.

thank you for reading‼️❤️

[dark-elf-writes]

Master of death Harry at UA who accidentally summons Oboro’s ghost and doesn’t get why Shota and Hizashi are crying but doesn’t say anything as they cry

I read this as MoD Harry as a student doing this which makes this funnier and also more heartbreaking.

Like Harry leaving after the battle and needing to do something different, something that doesn’t involve a castle of ghosts and the memory of blood on his hands and screams in his ears, he ends up, through a letter sent to him at exactly the right moment courtesy of Nezu (and how he managed to get a letter delivered to an unplayable address Harry isn’t sure he wants to know), as the oldest member of 1-A.

He doesn’t really know what to claim as a quirk because his magic is fucked and telling people is illegal but then he summons a ghost (the previous tenant of his apartment who had a heart attack and Merlin he is going to have words with his realtor) literally the night before and decides “Necromancer” is close enough. Besides the dead flock to him now (had they always?) whether he wants them to or not, it’s only fair that he gets something out of it other than a terrible sleep schedule and the world’s first anti-ghost ward outside his bathroom.

And UA has no shortage of ghosts. Students, alumni, and former teachers alike follow Harry’s every step from the moment he enters the gates a day before everyone else (for a meeting with his new teachers to “see where he places due to his unique circumstances” which sounded like kind way to say “we know you have a year four education in non magical subjects”) but one in particular shoos the others away with a smile and whisper of… something herding them off. He doesn’t fully manifest, invisible to everyone but Harry, as he follows his steps.

“Hey, kid, you’re the transfer right?”

If Harry was less used to ghosts he would be a little offended about being called “kid” by someone who looked the same age as him, but Ghosts were frozen as how they were when they died. For better or worse.

At least when around Harry they didn’t show their death wounds. Instead appearing whole and unblemished.

The meeting room was full when Harry entered, the ghost at his shoulder, and he fought the urge to check for exits. He didn’t need a window to get away with his magic, didn’t think any of the people here were strong enough to stop him if he wanted to leave, quirks or no, not since he had collected the hallows and everything changed.

“Er, hello.”

Well, maybe not everything changed.

Several of the teachers smile, one with the most ridiculous hairstyle he has ever seen beaming particularly brightly, but it was Nezu that drew his eye.

Nezu who smiled at him and gestured to where a steaming cup of tea waited at the empty space on the table. “Potter-kun. How lovely it is to meet you in person.”

Harry had barely made it to table when he felt the familiar yank of his power slipping the leash — less common now but always at the worst moments — and a moment later the ghost still following him gasped as color flooded him.

Huh. His hair was blue. Teddy would like that.

The blond teacher stood so quickly their chair flipped behind them followed by two others wide eyed and disbelieving as they stared at the ghost. The ghost who watched them with eyes just as wide, wiggling his fingers and gasping when their eyes followed the movement.

“You can see me?!”

Harry froze, not daring to breathe. Fuck this was bad, but the question was how bad.

Then one of the teachers, the woman who Harry was very careful to not look below her shoulders, sobbed.

Right… this was… not a great way to start a new school. “Traumatize your professors” was usually a term four activity for him not before school had officially started. Still it couldn’t hurt to let them talk for a while. He could always send the ghost away if things went south… probably… maybe… eventually.

Harry sank into his seat and drained his tea in one long swallow. This was going to be along day.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

What you say to this

Let's debunk all the lies:

1 - "Kataang is one-sided" We literally hear Katara talk about how he gives her hope in the begining of EVERY SINGLE EPISODE, she canonically starts thinking of him as potential boyfriend instead of just a friend right in the middle of the first season (and after it we never see her having a crush on another boy like say Jet), the kiss on the cave at the start of season two is HER idea and she clearly enjoyed it, she is visibly upset when he's pulling away from her after Appa's kidnaping, her rage at his death is a clear parallel both to Tui and La as well as Oma and Shu, she is jealous when he's paying attention to other girls and flirting with him, she clearly liked the kiss during the Invasion even if she didn't see it coming, she threated to murder Zuko if he ever hurt Aang again, and even in the Ember Island fiasco she full on says to Aang that what her actress said about her only seeing him as a little brother is not true.

2 - "The age/maturity gap makes it weird" It's literally the same age gap as Zutara. It's TWO years, not twenty. Katara likes having fun and goofing around just as much as Aang does. Aang steps up and embraces his responsibilities just as much as she does when he discovers what the Fire Nation did to the world, and his people. Honestly, despite being older, Zuko is the least mature of all three - hell, 16-year-old Zuko is less mature than 13-year-old Zuko, which makes perfect sense because his abuse and banishment made him double down on all of his flaws, mainly his stubborness and tendency to lash out in rage.

3 - "They spent the second half of book 3 always fighting and disagreeing" They literally were only in conflict during The Southern Raiders, Ember Island Players, and then on the first episode of a four-part saga. Three episodes out TEN. Katara and Zuko meanwhile spent 5/6 of the entire series being enemies, AND she only forgave him when there was only ONE more episode left until the finale.

4 - "Zutara doesn't have any real red flags" Ya know, besides the fact that Zuko's nation and family commited genocide against Katara's people, and that he believed that was 100% okay, and that he chased her and her friends all over the world being openly hostile and violent, and he once hit her so hard it knocked her out cold, and he constantly calls her a peasant because he's very classist AND racist to the point of not recognizing her father's authority/status, and he attacked her when she offered to heal his uncle and then again in Ba Sing Se after she thought they had bonded, him helping Azula in battle was why she got to murder Katara's best friend and then he also sent an assasin after the Gaang to finish/repeat the job, and after all that he still felt entitled to her forgiveness after he was accepted into the group. Once again: this is why no one takes zutarians seriously. They love bragging about their ship being "complex and intriguing" then try to completely negate canon because for all their talk about "calling out abuse in Kataang/Maiko", they are, at their core, enablers.

5 - "Zutara was part of Ehasz's vision for book 4" No, it wasn't, and the man said so himself. He liked Mai and Maiko, and wrote lots of Kataang episodes. He has repeatedly let everyone know that the supposed interview in which he talks about how Bryke forced Kataang to happen at the last minute is FAKE.

6 - "We didn't get book 4 because Bryke wanted a movie" Bryke didn't really WANT the Shyamalan movie, but Nickelodeon, their bosses, wanted money. They literally walked out on the production because they were unhappy with it. They were OFFERED to make season four, but didn't feel it was necessary and stuck to three - and while I don't think that was the best choice, it still worked and it was a decision fully divorced from any movie deal or ship war.

7 - "People get angry at mention of zutara despite there being nothing wrong with the ship itself (besides not being canon)" Literally no one is obligated to like a ship just because YOU think it's perfect, and that kind of entitlement, the "I'm better/smarter than everyone else" complex, combined with all the lies, is exactly why people tend to hate the SHIPPERS and by extension the ship itself.

Admiting that zutara has always been pure fanon and that it isn't for everyone doesn't mean you have to stop liking it. Quit acting like a spoiled child, go enjoy your ship in peace, and respect other people's right to be indifferent to it or actively disliking it. Their personal preference is not a personal attack against you, stop treating it as such.

[captainsophiestark]

The Ugliest Tie I've Ever Seen

Daniel Sousa x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2023!

Fandom: Marvel

Day 27 Prompt: "I don't know if they will accept this."

Summary: Y/N has finally been transferred to LA, joining their boyfriend Daniel Sousa to help with a case. Unfortunately, he's picked up some new fashion in LA.

Word Count: 1,311

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: This is basically a request @everyhazyday sent me for Daniel Sousa Appreciation Week before I dropped out of the event and disappeared for a couple months lol. Hope you enjoy!!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I stepped out of the car to be greeted by the warm, sunny weather of Southern California, a smile on my face. This beat the New York winter any day of the week.

After months of waiting to move out to LA, the SSR here had finally caught a case big enough to warrant it. I'd left New York behind with hugs for Jack and Peggy to join my boyfriend, Daniel Sousa, on the other side of the country. We'd been making long distance work since he'd been appointed the new Chief, but I couldn't wait to see him again in person.

I walked through the doors of the Auerbach Theatrical Agency to find Rose at a large desk, fake smiling as two identical-looking girls tap danced in the middle of the room. As soon as she saw me, Rose stood and walked around the desk, hands clasped and a borderline grimace replacing her smile.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think your act is quite what we're looking for. Thank you, have a nice day."

The girls both scowled and huffed, but Rose was immovable. The minute they were both out the front door she sighed, shoulders relaxing, and came over to give me a hug.

"Hey, Rose. That looked more fun than the telephone company bit," I teased. She huffed, but when she pulled back from the hug, she had a smile on her face.

"I have actually gotten to see some good acts, once in a while," she said. "And the weather here is certainly nicer than anything in New York."

"No kidding."

"Come on, I'll show you the way up. I'm sure you're dying to see the Chief."

She shot me a look over her shoulder, and I just smiled. She was right, I was dying to see Daniel. It would take just about everything in me not to tackle him in a hug and kiss him on sight, but I'd have to find a way to manage it since we were in the middle of the office.

Rose took me down a back hallway filled with filing cabinets, pushing one back to reveal a secret entrance. I gave her a wave and promised to check in later, then headed upstairs.

The bullpen was surprisingly empty, with just a few agents working at their desks. Directly across from the stairs, I could see Daniel's office with the door open, a crowd of people inside. Even from here, with his back to me, I caught sight of Daniel in the middle of the huddle by his desk.

I walked over, a smile on my face. I couldn't wait to see the look on Daniel's face when he realized I was finally here.

As I got closer, I got within hearing range of the conversation. I could see Daniel's shoulders tensed underneath his gray suit jacket, and it became a little harder to forget that I was here mostly because he'd caught a massive case.

One of the agents standing directly in front of Daniel was speaking when I walked through the door of the office, coming to a stop just behind my boyfriend.

"...been a pain in our side every step of the way. I don't know if they will accept this."

"They're gonna have to," said Daniel. "They have no argument for keeping us out of this case, not since their evidence started literally hovering around the office. It's our jurisdiction."

"Don't you worry, we'll get 'em in line," I said, hands on my hips. "The cavalry's officially here."

Daniel whipped around, eyes wide at the sound of my voice. A smile broke out on his face as soon as he saw me, but my attention snapped to his outfit instead.

I loved Daniel, more than anything or anyone in the world. That would never change, even if he walked around wearing a literal burlap sack. But this was going to take some getting used to.

The gray suit jacket had fooled me into thinking he'd levelled up his wardrobe since leaving New York and the sweater vests behind. But underneath that suit jacket was a dayglow flamingo button up shirt, and the ugliest tie I'd ever seen in my life.

I froze like a deer in headlights, unable to do anything other than stare at that outfit. Daniel looked at me curiously, then turned to the other agents in the room.

"Can we get a minute?" he asked, addressing the other agents. "Everybody take five, we'll get back together in a few minutes."

The agents nodded, mumbling amongst each other as they headed out of the office. I heard one of them shut the door behind us, and then Daniel shuffled a little closer to me, looking concerned.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry, I just need a second. My eyes are burning."

He furrowed his brow, glanced down to follow my gaze to his outfit. He looked back at me with outrage.

"What? Come on! It's not that bad, is it?"

"Together, as one outfit? YES."

Daniel scoffed, throwing his head back and looping an arm around my waist. He pulled me in, leaning in so we were basically nose to nose, a smile spread across his face.

"I missed you," he said. I smiled.

"I missed you too. No way in hell Thompson's ever getting me back to New York."

Daniel laughed, then leaned in and kissed me. We lingered for a few long moments, but since we were still in the office, we didn't let ourselves get too carried away.

"I cannot tell you how happy I am to have you here," Daniel muttered, leaning his forehead to rest against mine. "Seriously, I think I just lost a few deeply entrenched stress lines."

"Even with the fashion critiquing?"

"Yeah, even with that."

He gave me one last peck, then pulled all the way away. He picked up a massive case file and moved to hand it to me, but he hesitated at the last second.

"You really don't think this look is working for me?"

"Oh, babe. You could wear a clown costume and still be handsome to me. But that shirt and especially that tie, together? It's a serious downgrade from the sweater vests."

"From the sweater vests?"

"Yeah. You looked like a cute nerd in the sweater vests. You look like you got dressed in the dark with this."

Daniel snorted. "Okay, great. Thanks for the honesty at least."

"Always. But hey, don't get so down on yourself. The shirt's kind of fun, once you get past the... color of it."

"Really. Great."

"The tie has to go though."

I reached out to take the tie, and Daniel moved back out of my reach. I grinned, moving towards him again, and he managed to move behind his desk, a laugh bubbling out as he went.

"Gimme the tie, Daniel."

"You stay away, this tie's going on the wall. Hall of fame for making the love of my life look at me like I'd grown a second head after not seeing me in person for months."

"That's fine, the wall works. As long as it's not on you."

Daniel laughed, and it was infectious as I finally managed to catch him behind his desk. He gave in, and I wasted no time loosening the tie and pulling it over his head. He raised his eyebrows and fixed me with a look once I had it in my hands, and he smiled at me.

"You satisfied now."

"Yeah, actually, thanks."

I beamed at him and he rolled his eyes, but he was smiling too. I could see the other agents hovering outside the door, so I knew we had to get back to actual work, but I didn't really mind too much. Now that I was with Daniel again, working side by side, we could take on any case together. Ugly ties and all.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @luv-ghostie @songbirdcannabe @infinetlyforgotten

[switch]

look i'm definitely one of the people who's been saying that new TNT has been missing the forest for the trees with feeling the need to fuck with pre-existing old pet art before selling it when people very much just want the exact old pet art they remember, speaking as a mouthless shoyru enjoyer here who's mad they probably fucked that up forever, but the new halloween art is a big step up.

like this is just actually really good art and makes me feel significantly less skeptical about their recent "we hired more artists, we swear" statement. specific ones like the nimmo, xweetok, and maybe grarrl i really could actually see existing pre-conversion if they had gotten unique poses originally. the cybunny's cape only being visible on one side isn't ideal but is otherwise fine, and the ixi is unfortunately a little blobbish looking and probably needed another pass to get a better shape/silhouette, but it’s decently cute and i'm fully in favor of them addressing the "literally every ixi except like four or five of them are miserably ugly because those are the only ones that didn't follow their extremely unfortunate base model" problem. everything else is fantastic, i think.

except the aisha! again! they literally just cannot stop fucking up the aisha. they love fucking up the aisha. fucking up the aisha is new TNT's favorite hobby in the world. seriously, what is the fucking deal, aisha is one of their main mascot pets and they're the pet with the most devotedly insane fanbase by far. who is this for?! this is not for aisha diehards! are they capable of producing one singular good looking aisha?! blobbish, the miserable dinosaur tail is here again, directionless pose, not smiling for some reason, and why is the mouth open again, what is this art even trying to convey with this pose and expression? all the other new halloween art is conveying plenty of readable personality with its poses and expressions! the proportions are severely wrong regardless of if they were referencing the pre or post conversion art, the legs are too big, the antennae ears should get thicker at the top instead of being that bad looking twig thickness the whole way through, the ears are pointing the wrong way, why is that one ear snapped at such an awkward angle, bad silhouette, neck too short, head way too wide, eyes too big.... the literal singular only good thing they did here was toning down the eye masks to look more like the old art.

look, seriously, i genuinely think that the aisha and the shoyru being their primary mascots right now is subjecting them to way more specific and strict art directions than any of the other pets which is why they keep getting fucked up the worst by far. i think this is just what they want the aisha to look like now. something something marketing, branding consistency, something.

anyway, it's been noted that these are branded as "spooky hallowen [pet]" and not "nostalgic halloween [pet]," so there's speculation they may best-of-both-worlds the 'use old art no matter what even if it's stock and hideous' VS 'make new retro-looking art in unique poses' problem. the idea sounds nice on paper, but they've already gone, what, six waves mixing the two? would they only start doing it with future lines, meaning already released pets are permanently fucked either way? or are they gonna go back and retroactively add back in untouched art and change the designation on altered art? also, just the sheer amount of shit they'd be selling in the style department would be getting kind of ridiculous at that point. do we really want both 'mouthless blue shoyru' and 'blue shoyru b/w mouth' diluting the gacha odds even worse? man, i don't know.

[dykedragonrider]

So I finished Library of Ruina. And I think that's just one of the best games ever. I don't know if I like it more than Lobotomy, but they're good for very different reasons. Either way though, it's incredibly salient commentary on cyclical violence, late stage capitalism, and the impact that humans have on each other.

I think the most logical place to start with is Angela, given that the Library is her EGO. However, it's impossible to talk about Angela's arc and development without discussing Roland's, given how deeply the two are tied and mirror each other. Even their music mirrors the other! To establish more similarity, both have had their lives ripped away from them by someone they perceived as uncaring. Angela was forced to suffer, so she externalized that grief at all the people she could target it at, hoping for compensation in some form. Roland had his future ripped away from him at every turn by a world that didn't care about him, and the death of Angelica caused him to externalize all his grief at the people he thinks could be responsible. Neither of them, however, were able to direct those outbursts at their original target, instead hurting the other people in their lives. Both of them are shaped by pain, Angela takes hers out on the world, Roland conceals his to take it out on Angela when the time is right, when her world is at its brightest. They both have to learn, in different ways, though, that their externalization of it will only cause the same thing to happen again and again. Getting hurt doesn't have any purpose; it just makes you hurt. There's no compensation you will receive for your pain, there's no vengeance that will fill the hole in your heart. Unfortunately, you'll live. What changes them, however, is realizing that you work past that pain, and hole in your heart, by letting others in, those who are good and trustworthy. Friends of the soul. To be human is to be loved, and understood. One of the facets of this game I find beautiful is that it's not a linear path to this for either of them, and if they haven't developed enough as people they cannot forgive and trust the other. Both must be in a place where they can heal, or at the very least, stop themselves from doing anything to hurt another in that moment. Recovery isn't simple, it's hard to be a better person especially when everything you've known is about conducting the pain you've experienced, because the world thrives off doing that. But the cycle's been broken before. The fact it's been broken is proof enough that you can do it again, no matter how hard it is. Roland and Angela are doomed, though. The world cannot abide them, but for different reasons. Angela's, however, is much more central, and Roland gets shunted either way with her, as they're now effectively two halves of the same whole, unified in their understanding of one another and sharing each other's dreams. And it's platonic! I think it could have been fine romantic, but I think given both of their pasts it's much stronger platonically. They are literally removed from the world that hurt them, as it casts them out, but in being removed from it, they're also able to dream outside of it. Angela seeks to create a more just world, following in the footsteps of Ayin. Being able to look past something and see the corrupt roots it took nourishment from, and wanting to excise that, rather than the person that is a symptom of it. Roland wants to write his book about the city, sharing his knowledge of someone who has lived in such a place, and in my eyes, passing the baton to the future with this knowledge; that the little things humans have done to care for one another and the connections we make. Redemption is a complex thing, based on actions, rather than intentions, but they've taken the first steps. And that's a really good note for the game to end on, because well, the seed of light is planted in the both of them now.

On the note of redemption, I want to take a moment to mention Ayin's apology to Angela in the light. Ayin is... Complex, morally, to say the least. Swaddled in good intentions, and with a good grasp on a positive outcome, just with means incomprehensible and immeasurable in the suffering caused. He brought his friends down with him to his prison, and made them complicit in his atrocity. He wanted to be better than every other Wing in the world. but he's done all the same shit. The difference though, is that he was willing to end it, show remorse, and break that cycle. The sin cannot be forgiven, but it can break the cycle, so he took it upon himself to do it, those hundreds of good deeds. And the cycle was broken. Great atrocity was done, but it was broken. Forgiveness is the wrong thing, redemption is as well, I think, he wanted it, maybe he got it, but what he wanted has been twisted by Carmen, truthfully, so I think it's kind of a moot point. But what is the right thing, I think, is understanding, that which he gives Angela. "I'm sorry. And good job." In this, he acknowledges her feelings. Her pain. He can't compensate her for the pain he put her through, but what he can do is acknowledge it, like she does for what she's done to Roland, though inadvertently. He sees her, for the first time, not as a machine, but of what she has been denied of at this point, what she wanted; human. This is also a good time to bring up Carmen, too, as she too is in the Light, hell, she's *the* light. She's who makes people Distort or manifest their EGO, she once again is the source of this, and Angela and her at this point could not be more different. In some ways, Roland's selfishness in wanting Angela back stops her from making the change to prevent Distortions, and the risk for selfishness they pose, as Distorting is easier than manifesting the EGO. Angela cannot be the constructive voice to balance out Carmen to help people be able to fight back, but again, to go back to the ending, Angela's targeting the City now, as an institution. If she can't work against Carmen in the light to stop her, then changing material conditions to create a world less based on pain will help. It further reinforces Angela's humanity to show how far she's drifted from Carmen, and I think it's especially poignant given that Angela was born of Carmen's pain, her still living body stripped and exploited. They're both victims, both of them want the world to change, both of them can understand the other, but they disagree on a fundamental level. So they both must be true to their ideals.

That tangent aside, I think it's important to note how important Angela's humanity is at the end, because she asserts it. Her humanity is presumed, and I think as players, it's been long established, even when she *was* purely machine, as being human is a sense of who claims you. And Angela, by the institutions that rule this city, is dehumanized. All the things we've seen as atrocities they can accept, but are tragic. If Angela didn't give it up, and became a human, they could tolerate her. But because she was not born as one, she is not allowed those privileges. Despite what she's demonstrated, how she's grown, matured, and changed, how she has done things that even the Head says only a human can do, she is denied it. If anything, the Head hates her *more* because of how human she is, and I think that only adds to the importance of Ayin acknowledging her humanity, it shows that even the most awful person we've seen, even moreso than Argalia in some ways, still acknowledges her. Everything else is acceptable. The distortions, while tragic, are OK. It would have happened. Capital can subsume that. But Angela's something they have deemed unacceptable, and she only survives by the strength of those who trust in her and support her. I think it's a really good metaphor, even if it is painfully real, especially in the current age.

And I guess I need to talk about that next, this game's interactions with capital and the City, and in some ways the socioeconomic context of South Korea. The Wings of the City are analogous to chaebols, institutions that centralize the entire economy, and they're deeply corrupt. Each Wing has a Singularity that grants them power, all of them we're aware of rely on human suffering to function, and the City runs on these. Prescripts only add to this, the City having a will of its own, which often propagates pain in one way or another and keeps itself in motion. The entire system is rotten, based on pain, and exploitation. The class divide is palpable in many ways, those in the Backstreets, or slums, aren't even allowed into the Nests, where the richer people in Wings reside, and are often systemically denied ways to lift themselves up. Violence against them is viewed as less important than violence against those in the Nest. The game is deeply critical of these in its portrayals. Angela's new to this world, and while she can make sense of it she also acknowledges the ways it's twisted and broken. Power is everything, you either get a good job or die alone, I think the only thing missing is a strong commentary about gender norms, but gender is a thing never really confronted in game. There's of course, now some legitimate hypocrisy that came from PM (based on my understanding of the facts) in how their criticism of Korean socioeconomic reality, and generally, capital, is less impactful given some of their behavior, but I don't think that detracts from the messages. In some ways, even, part of me is cynical enough to say that this proves a point; that corporations, no matter how much their art challenges the establishment, they are also subservient to it and the interests of the powerful. Of course they'd be corrupted by it, they've demonstrated that fighting against capital directly only gets you eliminated or subsumed. However, I think there's something also worth acknowledging here. That being the idea that challenging capital and its interests, and to some degree, revolutionary behavior, can be done through the improvement of the self, those material circumstances, and your relationships with other humans. There's a place for self improvement and the construction of your community, and its reinforcement, theory, and ideals, and also the hard world of praxis, and fighting against that which you cannot accept. I think in a world where a common sentiment among leftists in the anglosphere is that a revolution is not happening, and we're just going to have to do what we can on a different scale to change the world, this is a thoughtful ideal to communicate, that our relationships with our community, the changes we make to improve it, our capacity for kindness for others and breaking the cycle of violence within ourselves is a good place to start to make those changes on the world. Obviously, there's still a need for other change, but the sentiment that the community and the individual are important for that change is a very useful one.

Which I guess is a good time to talk about the community, in this case, the Sephirot. I think they're really good for depicting the idea that the community is strong when the individual cannot be, as well as philosophical (and of course, theological, given their Kabbalistic origins) stepping stones in the development of Roland and Angela. To use shorthand, they've finished their character arcs. That's not to say they're static, but the Sephirot have had their development back in Lobotomy to become much more developed people. I do wish they had more time in this game, as I enjoyed a lot of them in Lobotomy, but we do at least get more interactions between them and they're not as much main characters so I get it, I just *do* like them. Malkuth manages history, and she's dealing with the fact that people in the City, and her life, are capable of great atrocity. She's trying to document that, but the problem exists in the reality that no one wants to remember anything outside themselves. People are trapped, and cannot learn from history, because the City propagates itself and erases/incorporates those who try to change it, so what's even the point of remembering it. But it's the past that builds the future, pretending otherwise or ignoring it means you only rebuild the past. And you must not despair, you must carve this idea on your heart, and face it. Maintain the will to stand up straight in a world that wants to break you down. Yesod manages technological sciences, and is aware of the dangers it poses, especially in the City. The entire ethos is that the ends justify the means, and that is uniquely terrifying when the means always involve pain. He acknowledges this about the library, and is rightfully scared by it, and wants Angela to understand that what they're doing here is comparable to other things in the city, and it can't be justified away. We have to be thoughtful about things in an ever changing world, and we can't ever just follow what's been set out. Maintain discretion, be rational, and think about "musts" and if they're actually as such. Hod manages literature, the stories of the people. For the Sephirot who involved herself in the lives of others to their detriment, placing her in a space that uses her newfound capability to understand other humans as well as she does is a really nice thing for her to slot into. The fact is, the city sucks to live in for everyone. You join groups, and the groups hurt people. Where you live is always boiled in violence, and you either give up your autonomy and ignore it, or give up your safety and acknowledge it. Everyone wants something better for themselves, to not have to deal with this world that's breaking them. You can't be broken against the wheel, you still have to have the hope to be a better person at the end of it all. Netzach manages art, and he muses on the nature of humans to make it, at the cost of humans. It's, especially in this world, a monument to pain. That's not something that really feels like it should be exalted, but it's what people are experiencing so it's made anyway. Killing yourself in the pursuit of a dream, beauty, doesn't actually create or leave behind that beauty, or dream. It just propagates misery. You've gotta fight to stay alive, you've got to want it, even if you're scared, even if it hurts, even if you've accepted self destruction. You've got to hold onto the idea that there's always something more to do, some new story to tell, a reason to keep making things as humans do. It's scary, being alive, but facing that without fear and living is what gives beauty to our condition.

Tiphereth manages natural science, and she in some ways iterates on Netzach's philosophy. Sure, you're alive, but so what. The world is unfair, it beats you down, nothing could be more cruel than it, and understanding that's a hard endeavor, usually tinted by loss. So, we try and understand it. We look at the world, and what's unjust about it, and we make sense of it so we can change it, to keep dreaming. One day, we will overcome this. One day, you'll wake up, and will be able to face yourself and the world. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, there's *got* to be something waiting for us because that's how humans work. We're driven by desire, and the chase of knowledge, justice, hope, gives life meaning. You just have to know what lights shine for you, and make the choice to chase them, every day of your life. It'll hurt like hell to be well, it's hard to do it again after losing your way. But as long as you're alive, things can change. Life has a meaning, and you must expect to find it. Gebura manages language, and notably, is one of the two Librarians with much stronger ties to the outside world than others. Her floor doesn't touch on language overmuch, but I think she demonstrates that differences with her behavior instead. As she mentions, the Backstreets dwellers speak simply, and that's reflected in her. Gebura is the most brash, honest, and straightforward librarian. She rarely speaks symbolically, and that also lets her uniquely connect with people, because of how she speaks and carries herself. She's the first one to get a fragment of the truth out of Roland, for example. Another element is that her actions speak for her rather often, given her past as the Red Mist. She was famous for her selflessness, and always tried to look out for people weaker than her. It's not the strong who survive, it's the survivors who are strong, so making sure people survive is how you create people who can live in this broken world. Kali was a legend who died in the service of protecting others, she's a very emotional person, to both her strength and detriment, and she's always going to carry that with her. Even if she's failed before, even if it's gotten harder, she still understands incredibly well that violence is a tool. And she wields that tool with courage, in the service of others. Chesed manages social sciences, and has a huge heart. He's as playful as he is determined to hope for a better life for others, and he loathes violence. More accurately, needless death, but the sentiment is identical. Chesed doesn't want people to be hurt or killed. People are all important little pieces, and we all blend together to make our symphonies. He values knowing *why*, for the hope to change things through understanding to make a better world. There's always something we can do with the people in our lives to make a difference, after all. Even if it's small, we owe it to them to do it. That's what being friends is about, after all. If the world wants to pit you against each other, then band together to be strong together. You'll have each other, and can fight the current of the oppressive reality together. Sitting on your hands only makes things worse, you've gotta be able to look and process your reality to change it. And people can help with that. Build a crowd of your friends, and become stronger together. Those who are faithful and trustworthy are what give us the strength to put our bodies on the wheel.

Binah manages philosophy, and is the other librarian with strong ties to the outside world. She's always talking in parallel with other people, but is doing as such to prove a point. The world is cruel, but you can't turn away from that. You must acknowledge the world and observe it to understand it. And you've gotta free yourself from your biases to actually understand it. If you just look for what you want to see, then you can miss the forest for the trees, or see things where they aren't because you want them to be real. Binah was once Garion, an Arbiter, effectively a supercop. I think the analogy speaks for itself there, but she's also interesting because that part of her is long behind her. In her discussions about the world, she also speaks of herself and her wants, as someone who's dealing with the sins of her past, especially given she is in no small part responsible for how things turned out. To put your past behind is to bear the sins of it, and decide to move on. You won't do it the first time, it may take a hundred, or a thousand, but you'll break it eventually. And when you do it, you'll have to do it over and over again. But you did it once. You can do it again. This works on another level again, because Lobotomy Binah is a deeply damaged person. She feels little, save for when she's hurting other people. But in Ruina, it feels like she's moved on from those remnants of being Garion. Like all the librarians, she wasn't who she was at the start of this, but she also has carried the most with her; she's just also had a lot of time to sort herself out, and while she's still imperfect, she's trying with other people now. She's tried to reconcile her past. She's looked at all the horrors of herself and the world, and has started to move beyond them. Hokma manages religion, and is one of the two people responsible for the birth of Angela. Angela is conflicted on him most of all, given that past. To call their relationship filial in any way I think is a misattribution, it's more like he's her least favorite teacher. He's wise, knowledgeable, and thoughtful but they've got a lot of friction between them. He tried to do well by her, but it wasn't enough, and he has at this point accepted that given their past. Unsurprisingly, the thing that defines Hokma is belief in something, or rather, someone. Ayin was the man that gave his life meaning, and he believed in him and his cause, even to his own end. He was shackled to him, but he was freed from that weight when he realized his answer, that building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same. You aren't stuck to it, but you must acknowledge it to move on, and its influences on you, good and bad, are what you choose to pass on. I think the most important element to him comes in his end discussion with Angela, on the idea of pity, sympathy, and love. They're similar forces that foster human connection, but I think another element is that a lot of faith exalts those who we pity; we give them love to raise them up because we find them pitiable. Through that sympathy, and a repulsive emotion known as pity, we come to understand and love one another.

And finally, we tie back to Roland, who manages general works. The thing I most want to center in this discussion about him is the simple phrase of "that's that, and this is this" because it's such an infuriating philosophy for him to follow. We see it bite him in the ass so much, because it's a cope. Angelica makes it clear to him that it's a cope, and he's just relying on it to the point it's become something deeply maladaptive. And once again, it's Angela that breaks him out of this, because through their journeys together, she realizes and proposes to him the counter: That's this, and this is that. It's her gesture to break him out of things wholly, the same way Ayin's words did to her. In terms of broader strokes, human connection is the most important thing on the road to being better people, and I think something that is demonstrated very well through Ruina is the way that it's more important to make a wrong choice and learn from it through people around you than it is to make no choice at all. While this game builds much more on the elements introduced in Lobotomy about the City, I think Lobotomy is a much stronger criticism of capital? This does it, but I think it doesn't do as good in marrying its gameplay and themes to sell the violence of capital, it mostly just depicts the horrors and leaves it there. This works, it's just not as impactful, and I think is a product of this being much less horror oriented. All in all, I chalk this one up to another game I wish I was much more capable of speaking about. There's so much good here, and it's one of the best games about revenge I've played, the next closest being the original Xenoblade. It's incredibly rich, and there's a lot more I have to say, I've just been typing for four hours and didn't want to make an even bigger wall of text.

[heavendear32]

Chapter 6. 100 Year Nap

Summary: “I know the gods roam the earth because I used to walk with them”, Haneul is an immortal being with powers that most humans would kill for. When Haneul gambles with the gods, she loses her powers and without her powers she’s cursed to die by the next full moon. She hurries to get her powers back with the help from the last person Haneul wants to be around: a Demon.

Pairing: Demon!Hongjoong X Fem!O/c

Word count: 4,016

Warnings: mythical creatures, mentions of getting cursed, spiritual messages, mentions of religions, cussing, smoking, mentions of physical violence (Haneul elbows Hongjoong), mentions of magic usage, mentions of death, making deals, pet names (darling, babe, baby, my dear).

Author note: I totally forgot to post yesterday, I had so much going on. I was coming back from a school trip and literally went to bed as soon as I got home. Also I’ll be posting every other week instead of weekly. if you enjoy my story please repost or comment :) I’d love to know what you think of it.

The forrest got denser the more San drove down the gravel road. San kept on looking through the rearview mirror at Haneul and Hongjoong who sat in the back. San felt like a dad on a roadtrip with two teens in the back. Haneul was on her phone while the Demon was staring out of the window.

A hiss left Haneul’s lips as she tried searching up something else, Choi Jongho Joseon official but still nothing about the man from her memories came up. The woman was becoming increasingly annoyed, he had to be real. If he was in her memory he had to be real but it was almost like he never existed outside of her memory. Hongjoong sighed and rested his head on the headrest before his head lolled to the other side, staring at Haneul.

His eyes flickered down to her phone, he could just barely see what she was doing. “Whatcha searching up?”

Haneul hid her phone. “Nothing. Where are we going anyways?”

She put her phone down and looked out the window, the rain still pelting the earth but it had lightened up the second they had gotten out of the city.

“We’re almost there.” San answered. Haneul nodded and crossed her arms. “I would also like to be part of the loop. You know since I am the person you are helping.”

“We’re going to see one of my friends.” Hongjoong sighed and said. He mumbled the rest under his breath. “Man I haven’t seen him for a 100 years.”

A few minutes later, San’s car came to a stop. Haneul undid her seatbelt and looked at the two on what to do. Hongjoong opened the door and stepped out, and although it was still raining, it seemed just like another nice day for Hongjoong. He was dry as San opened up his umbrella to shield himself from the rain.

Hongjoong hurried around the side and opened up Haneul’s door before San could. He glared over at the werewolf as he help the woman from the car. San bared his teeth and Hongjoong gasped dramatically before just rolling his eyes.

“How about a nice walk through the forrest huh darling?” He asked smirking joking around.

San stepped forward and pulled Haneul under the umbrella with him. He just glared at the Demon. Haneul could sense the tension between the two.

“So.” She said and cleared her throat. “Where is your friend?”

Hongjoong pulled his eyes from San, he sighed and pointed over towards one of the sides where there was a small break between the thick treats. A path laid where he pointed.

“That’s the path but I don’t think dogs are allowed.” Hongjoong clicked his tongue staring right at San who let out a growl.

He let go of the umbrella and lunged at the Demon. He grabbed Hongjoong’s collar and growled into his face, not scared of what could happen.

“If you take her down that path and she doesn’t return, if you’re not already dead I will kill you myself.” San growled at the man, Hongjoong turned his face away and rolled his eyes.

His hands reached up and grabbed San’s hands pulling them off of his collar. He took a step back from San and dusted off his suit. Haneul leaned down and gave San his umbrella back before Hongjoong pulled her into his side. He placed his hand against her back.

He smiled. “Now why would you think I’d want to kill the only thing keeping me alive?” Haneul rolled her eyes and stepped from his side.

“I’ll be on the path when you’re ready.” Hongjoong sighed and walked away leaving San and Haneul alone.

Haneul smiled at San who sighed. He stared at the girl with a concern look. Hongjoong had changed from the years they used to party together. He got worse over the years and he hated that Haneul was stuck with him.

“You sure you’ll be okay?” He asked and the woman giggled, “I’ll be fine. Sure he’s a Demon and he’s cocky but I don’t think he could do any harm to me.”

San sighed but smiled. “Okay, be safe.”

Haneul stepped forward and hugged the werewolf, San held onto her tightly for a second before letting her go and watching as made her way over to Hongjoong. He turned as soon as she got close enough and started walking down the long path through the forrest. Haneul was confused on why she was dry when it was raining harshly but as she looked at Hongjoong, he also looked dry. It was him, he was using his powers but why? He was a Demon, they didn’t care about people so why did he care about her?

“Hongjoong! Wait up.” She called and the Demon stopped and waited for her. He didn’t say anything as they walked side by side until a smile crossed his face. “You know that was first time you called me by my name.”

“Don’t get used to it.” Haneul scoffed as they fell silent again.

He kept stealing glances at the woman. It was weird, he somehow felt drawn to her but he would never admit it. She was a stupid human and it was only because of that stupid deal she made.

“So how did a goddess like you lose her powers?” He broke the silence

Haneul corrected. “Not a goddess and it’s none of your business.”

“You must really hate the gods.” Hongjoong laughed and stopped in his tracks. Haneul also stopped and looked back at the Demon who pulled a pack from his pocket.

“What?” She asked as he placed a cigarette between his lips and pulled out a lighter.

He lit the end and took a drag, pointing at Haneul with the end. “You’ve corrected me every time I’ve called you a goddess.”

Haneul nodded and sighed. “Yeah well, the gods are kinda the reason this all started so sorry if I’m not jumping for joy when I’m being compared to them.”

The Demon laughed as he started walking again, the breeze picked up and the rain had lessened the deeper they walked. Haneul took a step from Hongjoong’s side not wanting to be in the way of his smoke.

“So which one did you piss off?” Hongjoong questioned.

“Hwasa.” She answered still a little embarrassed by what happened

Hongjoong just laughed and flicked his cigarette. “That makes sense, Hwasa is no joke.”

Haneul nodded and things went silent, she focused on the scenery. She watched as the tree swayed in the breeze and animals wandered through the trees, they didn’t seem scared of either Haneul or Hongjoong. every once in a while, the animals would stop and stare as if they were human before turning back and walking back into the forrest. Haneul smiled feeling a calmness wash over her. She always tried to do this, take a walk through nature without a real destination but it felt different now that Haneul was human. It felt like she could just breathe.

She looked up towards the sky, watching the blue sky and the moon that was still visible. Haneul started to think, about life, about the world, about everything. Did the stars ever worry about their supernovas? Did the planets ever look at the other celestial beings and wonder if they were good enough?

“I know how Pluto feels now.” Haneul laughed out sadly.

“What do mean?” He asked.

Haneul smiled as she answered. “Too small to be a planet but too planet-like to be an asteroid. Just like me, too human to be a goddess but not human enough to just be a normal woman.” A laugh came from her lips. “It a curse not being one or the other.”

“Why would you want to be one or the other. They both suck.” Hongjoong said making the girl laugh.

Haneul looked back at where they had come from but couldn’t see the end, she was sure that they hadn’t been walking for a long time. The forrest seemed to change the further they walked but not in a dark and creepy kind of way, it seemed to become brighter and feel more clam. The trees seemed playful and mischievous holding something hidden between the trees.

“So who is this friend of yours?” Hongjoong hummed before stamping out his cigarette. “He’s not a mortal if that’s what your asking, he is very particular about visitors though so there are a few rules. He hates when people are rude but don’t say thank you or else he thinks you owe him something. Make sure are careful around his garden, he really likes plants. Don’t take any gifts or food or drink from him and always be honest, he knows when people are lying and hates them.”

“Is your friend a Fae?” She laughed out and Hongjoong tilted his head. “That’s a word to explain him.”

Haneul laughed and shook her head, Hongjoong almost seemed bearable. her eyes looked down at the ground but when she heard Hongjoong stop, Haneul looked up and was met with the sight of a beautiful grotto. Her mouth fell open at the opening in the forrest. It was like nothing she had seen before, tall trees stretched to the sky and their multicolored leaves danced in the wind almost shimmering. Red, yellow, purple, blue flowers littered the ground and lined the edge of the trees. smack dab in the middle of the clearing sat a small cottage, it’s white walls stood out from all the color surrounding it but the ivy that snaked down the sides made it seem magical. The tall brick chimney puffed out little wisps of smoke almost cartoonishly. It was a perfect place for a fairy to live.

The gardens around the house were impeccable and the path winded perfectly through the flowers and behind the house. Haneul went to take a step forward but felt a hand press against her stomach pushing her back before she could step onto the grass.

“Follow my lead and be careful of the fauna.” Hongjoong said before taking a step onto the path. Haneul watched the Demon and stepped directly behind him trying to stay in the middle and away from the flowers.

There was a small noise coming from somewhere, almost like a bell ringing somewhere. Her eyes tried to search around for the noise, her eyebrows furrowed together as the flowers seemed to move and small faces poked through the grass. They were small, only about a couple inches tall but they looked human-like. Haneul looked up and saw Hongjoong a couple feet away from her, the woman looked back down but those things were gone. She sped walked up to where the Demon was, her mouth fell open once again. The backyard was even more lush and breathtaking, Haneul was speechless.

There were two fruit trees in a small circle that wasn’t filled with flours, unusual red and purple fruits that almost looked like berries hung from the branches. Connecting the two tree was a hammock that swung slowly from the nonexistent wind and laying on top of the hammock was a man. He looked peaceful as he slept or was laying there. Hongjoong brought his hands up to cup his mouth.

“How are you on this fine day Yeosang?” The man reacted to Hongjoong’s words. His eyes fluttered open as he turned to look over at the Demon, his eyes sparkled in the sunlight looking like the stars and his mouth broke into a toothy grin.

The Face sat up and waved over to his friend, Haneul froze seeing the man. He was the most picturesque person she had ever seen. His skin was smooth and looked naturally glowing, his eyes were bigger and brighter than the sun itself. Right under his left eye was a mark no bigger than her thumb. It was the spot of the Fan, where the Earth had kissed them.

“My dear friend, what brings you to my humble home?” He asked as he walked up to the Demon.

“Yeosang, it is so good to see you.” The two embraced, Haneul was frozen until the Fae spoke again looking upon the woman. “May I have you’re name?”

Haneul opened her mouth before catching herself, she smile up at him and answer. “You may call me Haneul.” Yeosang’s eyebrows raised, he had misjudged the woman.

He smiled and held out his hand, Haneul took his hand shaking the Fae’s hand with a smile. He clicked his tongue and looked between the two.

“How was the walk here? I hope the sprites weren’t too bothersome, they aren’t too fond of guests.” Yeosang explained and the two shook their head. “It was peaceful but I haven’t seen the sprites, I hope we haven’t scared them off.”

“No they’re shy, you might hear them once in a while.” Yeosang laughed before he pointed to the two. “To what do I owe this visit?”

Yeosang had an unusual way of speaking, Haneul had been round for long but he sounded even older than she was. Then again, he was hidden deep within a forrest. Hongjoong nodded and let out an ‘ah’ as he moved closer to Haneul, he smiled and placed his hand on the small of her back. She gasped at the feeling and shot a look at the Demon.

“My friend here needs your help with something.” Hongjoong motioned with his other hand. Yeosang gave a cautious looked at the woman before back at the Demon before letting out a hum.

“Won’t you join me inside?” He asked politely and stepped to the side motioning to his house. ‘I would like to properly treat my guest.”

Haneul looked between the two, she gulped. She didn’t really trust both of them but she trusted Hongjoong more, at least he couldn’t kill her. If he wanted to do something, he had the entire walk here and also Haneul had the comforting though of San waiting back at the car. Hongjoong nudged her a bit stepping closer to her.

“Tha-“ Haneul cleared her throat playing it off as if she wasn’t about to say thank you. “I’d appreciate that.”

Yeosang nodded and turned starting towards his front porch, as soon as the Fae wasn’t watching Haneul sent her elbow into Hongjoong’s stomach. He groaned as he doubled over, Haneul walked away following the fairy. Hongjoong growled glaring up at the woman, he pushed back up and walked after the two.

“I love your house, looks so quaint and cozy.” Haneul said as they reached the front door. Yeosang smiled and blushed. “Thank you, I quite enjoy my life here.”

“Yeah I’m jealous.” Hongjoong joined their conversation and pulled Haneul back into him. “A life without any humans.”

Haneul faked a laugh and she hit his chest harshly. “Yeah it would be nice to live alone wouldn’t it?”

The two laughed before Haneul pushed him away and motioned to the door. “Why don’t we go inside.”

Yeosang nodded and opened the door walking in, Haneul’s eyes went wide seeing the door. Instead of peering into the house, a hazy dreamlike fog floated in the doorway, it was so thick that you couldn’t see anything inside. Haneul took a step forward but Hongjoong pulled her back.

“What?” Haneul hissed out pulling her wrist from his grip. Hongjoong sighed and handed her a gift. “Remember what I told you. I needed to bring this to him anyway but I think it’ll help you.”

Haneul took the gift from his hands and sighed. “What is this? why are you being so nice?”

“It’s nothing personal, I’m stuck with you that’s why.” Hongjoong answered. “Now go in, he doesn’t like waiting.”

Haneul stepped through the fog and when she blinked, she was inside a house. It was quaint and cute, just a big bigger than her apartment and looked exactly how she imagined. Yeosang moved through the rooms flicking his hands and things moved, the lights turned one with one flick of his hands.

“Please make yourself at home.” He called over to Haneul

The woman moved slowly and cautiously through the house, remembering what Hongjoong had told her. She tried to touch nothing as she walked into the small old-fashioned kitchen, she smiled at the icebox that was there instead of a fridge. Haneul went to pull out a seat but it moved on its own, Haneul slowly sat down at the table and placed the box on the table.

The woman smoothed out her shirt trying to make herself presentable, she had learned somethings from the gods. If you wanted help from them, you had to act as if they were royalty. No slouching, be confident but not overly confident, and be careful with your words.

“What are you?” Yeosang’s voice boomed as he walked around the table and sat across from the woman. “I don’t understand?”

“You look like a human but you act like a goddess. The only humans Hongjoong hangs around are those from the brothels and the gods aren’t very fond of him so I’m very confused on why Hongjoong has taken a liking to you?”

He talked like some of the old men Haneul knew and she tried her best not to laugh. Had he really been asleep for a 100 years? That would explain his unusual vernacular that made him sound like he was from the turn of the century.

“Can I ask you a question?” Haneul leaned forward. “How long have you been here?”

Yeosang hummed as he thought about it, his eyebrows furrowed together and he tapped his fingers on the table. “Well, Hongjoong asked to go get drinks to start off the new century, we got drunk and I said I was gonna take a nap, so I’m not exactly sure.”

She chuckled. “Hongjoong was right, it’s been over a 100 years.”

“A 100 years, no that can’t be.” Yeosang swatted his hand at the woman. “It’s true, that’s crazy.”

She pulled out her phone and slid it over to the man, his eyes went wide. “It’s like magic.” He said staring at the little black box.

The two giggled as they continued to talk. Haneul asked about his life and the Fate asked about the modern world.

“You know Haneul, you’re the first person I’ve talked to that truly understands me.” Yeosang complemented the woman. He leaned back in his seat and changed the subject. “So are you and Hongjoong-“

He waited for Haneul’s answer to gauge his reaction. Haneul scoffed and shook her head.

“Me and that Demon? god no, I can barely stand him. The only reason I deal with him is cause I have to?” Haneul leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. “I made a deal with him to help me get my powers back and I’m regretting it.”

“Ah.” Yeosang laughed. “So that’s who he brought to me, a fallen angel.”

“A fallen angel?”

Haneul watched as the Fae lifted his hand up, opening his palm towards the sky as twigs snaked up his arm and twisted into the shape of a stick figure on his hand.

“There are people who are just like angels, they live in what they believe is the perfect world. They have everything they want and live the perfect life. Those people also fall just like those angels, and find that the world isn’t as perfect as they thought.”

Yeosang tipped his hand and the stick person tumbled forward and off of the Fae’s hand. it fell from the height and disappeared past the table where Haneul was unable to see it anymore. Slowly, Yeosang brought his hand down to the table and put two of his fingertips on the table ‘walking’ his hand towards Haneul. She gulped unsure if it was directed at her.

“And then those people come crawling back to Hongjoong and I.” She didn’t like his tone. It felt like a threat or like he made up his mind not to help her out.

She shifted in her seat and cleared her throat. Maybe now it was a good time to give Hongjoong’s gift to him. She pushed the box closer to the Fae. Yeosang’s eyes left Haneul and looked at the gift with confusion. His eyebrows knitted together to ask, ‘what is this?’

“It’s a gift from Hongjoong.” Haneul said cautiously with a smile. The Fae moved slowly as he pulled the present closer to him.

He grabbed the end of the ribbon and untied the bow. Haneul was curious on what Hongjoong had gotten Yeosang. What present did a Demon get for a Fae? Yeosang gasped as he pulled the top off. Haneul watched as he pulled a glass dome from the box, his eyes went wide as a smile crossed his face.

It was just a glass dome full of dirt? But as Haneul looked closer, she saw little wiggling green things moving across the ground. Haneul didn’t even notice that she stood up as well. Yeosang tapped on the glass and the little green tentacles started to wiggle faster.

“What is that?” Haneul asked.

He didn’t answer and just moved away from the table, Haneul was just a step behind him as they walked into the living room. Yeosang’s eyes were locked on the glass dome but he moved gracefully through the house until he reached a shelf that also held glass domes that had other colorful objects in them. Some of them moved in an orderly manner, and almost like an animal or human.

“Terrariums. These pieces of nature will outlive most of the world.” Yeosang moved to the other ones, he sounded a bit distracted.

“But there are things moving inside?”

“That’s what makes them so special. They’re enchanted. Hongjoong knows that I’ve been trying to save parts of the magical world that has been dying out. These terrariums are the last of these mythical places.”

“They’re beautiful.” Haneul breathed out looking back at them.

She had never seen it like that, these small globes would be here long after the actual place had disappeared. Haneul reached her hand out and pressed her hand against the side, the little wiggling objects seemed to notice. They wiggled over to where her hand was and investigated, she giggled at the actions. they seemed to calm when Haneul had her hand against the glass.

“What is it you need?” Yeosang asked. Haneul pulled her hand back and looked over at the Fae. “There’s a reason Hongjoong sent you in with the present, he never turns down an invite.”

“I need to get my powers back before the full moon.” Haneul answered. Yeosang nodded, it all made sense now.

“And so he thought I could help.”

She blurted out. “Can you!”

“Eager aren’t you.” He tisked the girl before sighing. “But unfortunately you won’t get much from me.”

“What do you mean?’

“My powers are tied to these woods. I’m afraid I can’t do much for you besides bestowing my protection upon you.”

Haneul let out a sigh, clenching her hands. This was how Hongjoong was getting back at her, he couldn’t kill the woman but he could fuck with her. Haneul took back about what she said earlier about the Demon, he wasn’t bearable. He was an asshole.

“But, we Fae are close with those of another legend, I know of a Dokkaebi who can help.” Haneul smiled. “Please I could take any help that I can get.”

He nodded and they started walking back to the front door. Yeosang looked back at the woman, he enjoyed her company.

“I will give you my help if you grant me a favor in return.” Yeosang cocked his eyebrow. Haneul hesitated for a second before answering. “Of course.”

Yeosang lifted up his pinky and Haneul wrapped her pinky around his. As long as she could get the help she needed, Haneul didn’t care who she had to see. Fae, Dokkaebi, Werewolf, Demon, who knew what else Haneul would meet next.

[ktyekmrf30]

I know there are still 3 episodes left, including the cursed 11 episode where is always The Drama (TM), but for now I can say that I'm really happy with the fact that the main hidden agenda (again, at this exact moment) for JokeZo turned out to be just Pat helping Joke with info about his friend behind friend's back.

Because sometimes it's just that simple. Sometimes it's not something so big and dramatic or stunt-planned that it can ruin your whole life or your relationship with someone and etc. Sometimes it's just one phrase or one action. Or the lack of it.

Zo already had traumatic experience with Puen and other friend where he was hurt because one friend laughed at him and the other one refused him. Loss of trust. So if a similar situation happened with Joke and Pat but without processing the trauma with help from the outside, Zo could definitely break down.

At one of the sessions with my therapist I remembered a situation from many years ago where I was really uncomfortable but my friend was okay with how things are going so I didn't attach any importance to this and decided to forget about it in the name of our friendship (spoiler: it didn’t work and breakup was awful). When in similar situation that happened last year another friend of mine expressed a similar position towards some things - and for him it was just bad word choosing - I was not prepared for it. It broke me to the point that I needed help. For 3 months in a row I cried non-stop at every session, because I couldn't work through this trauma in time. My friend didn't mean it like that but I just couldn't see the difference anymore. And it was just few words that literally broke me into pieces.

And Zo is in a similiar situation actually and it's his friends actions. But, unlike me, he has worked through his trauma with similiar behavior pattern. And it became possible only thanks to Joke. Joke is the help from outside. Because dialogue is always about two people who take steps towards each other. If one person stands still while another one walks towards him, the first one will get tired. Is this disappointment necessary in a relationship?

Zo learned to trust Joke, his words and actions, allowed him to violate his boundaries but do it with respect and only on the terms that Zo allowed. The ones he was ready to accept at that moment. And Joke respected it, Zo knows it too, he saw it multiple times.

And Joke, unlike Puen, didn't hide his feelings. Joke literally wanted to scream about his feelings and at some point he did it because it seems that everybody in the uni already knows that he loves Zo. And although he himself faced the problem of not being able to correctly express his feelings in words, he still did it. I believe it also helped Zo see the difference and helped to stop comparing situations or people. And this also helped to calm down later, after the thing with Pat was revealed.

The whole culmination of their trust-building journey through food and time together was in ep 8, when instead of a declaration of love, during the bed scene - the words you'd expect to hear in a romantic bed setting is I love you, right? - Joke asked if Zo trusted him and Zo replied that he did. Because that was what really important they wanted to show us.

And that's why Zo was so patient with Joke, waiting for him to admit his lie. He faced his trauma of friends betrayal and he lived through it, also thanks to Joke. He saw how situations are quit similiar but he worked on it, he learned that things can happen and he should remember the experience for growth and learning but Joke is a different person, not his friends from the past. The past is the past and Zo won't run away or make a rush desicions. This is possible only if Zo acknowledged the situation and accepted it for himself. And we see that all that Zo wanted is honesty. And Joke, after some time of being goofy, did it again, didn't hide his feelings, made a confession and admitted things where he was wrong. And Zo was happy and teary because he was right this time. The trust he had for Joke was worth it.

And if suddenly a similar situation happens to him again, it won't break neither disappoint him as a reminder of a past expirience.

That's why I'm really happy right now with the direction Hidden Agenda are going. Because there's no mastermind plans or conspiracy theories behind them although I really love conspiracy theories. It's real life and it's that small things that can happen with everybody, that can hurt everybody.

[percontaion-points]

Gate Crashers chapters 21 & 22

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Chapter 21

He took a moment to check on Harris, whose cheek was also pressed flat against the glass like, well, a Peeping Tom. 

This is yet another moment of: when you are an author, you can write literally anything that you want. So why the fuckity fuck would you actively choose to write this?

Maximus’s smile was broader and brighter than a chrome grille. “Thank you for the question, Stan, and I’d say the only polls I care about have girls dancing on them. Next question.”

If this is the author’s attempt to write a witty and charming character… Try going back to school and learning about homophones, dipshit. 

Unable to avoid the inevitable any longer, Maximus leveled a finger at the proverbial eight-hundred-pound gorilla in the room. In this case, it was an eight-hundred-pound gorilla named Buttercup. After several generations of captive gorillas being taught sign language, they eventually organized and demanded citizenship. So the Association for the Advancement of NonHuman Persons was formed. Its membership includes several thousand gorillas and chimpanzees, sixteen herds of elephants, twenty-seven pods of dolphins, and a particularly clever African gray parrot who served as treasurer. Buttercup had recently become a correspondent for Branches & Fruit Monthly, following his award-winning essays “Zoo Employees Fragile. Do Not Wrestle” and “Why You Not Groom Human Children?”

I feel like the author is trying so, soooooo hard to emulate Douglas Adams here. 

The problem, as I keep pointing out… This comes out of left field, and I’m kind of sitting here going… ???? What????

“Oh, come on. With a crew this large, there has to be at least a couple of closet furries. C’mon, folks, raise your hands. We’re all adults here.” The crew looked back at him in muted horror. “Nobody? Well, they’re probably just shy.”

WHY. WHY THE FUCKITY FUCK WOULD YOU FUCKING WRITE THIS SHIT?!

He deftly slid out of the way just as Buttercup’s chair shattered the podium.

Chapter 21 summary: Jeffrey and Harris take a two week shuttle up to where the war ship is currently being built. When they get up there, they meet up with Felix, and some other members of the crew. Everybody else is unimportant background noise… I say knowing full well that this chapter could have been an email. 

Eventually, the crew has a press conference. The reporters ask if it’s really okay to send a ship with completely untested technology out into deep space. They also ask about the weapons on board. For some reason, there are gorillas on the ship. I don’t have answers. 

I think instead of hammering in how little that I laughed, maybe I should start up a count of how many times I wanted to die of cringe. At least that number would keep changing every time. 

Chapter 22

Vel Noric stepped cautiously through the great hallway leading to His Superiority the Kumer-Vel’s chambers.

NO. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. STOP IT. 

“The high-space portal was detected on Earth itself.” 

That did surprise Noric. “That’s not possible. There hasn’t been enough time for any signals from the ship to reach Earth. They can’t have copied the technology.”

 “That is true, yet here we are. One of our reconnaissance platforms detected the high-space portal on Earth’s surface almost half a cycle ago,” said the voice. “So either you can believe that the humans produced a highspace portal domestically or that they have some way to communicate instantly, which the best Lividite scientists ensure [sic] us is impossible.” 

My main question is… Why are they so convinced that humans are this fucking dumb? 

No, really. I want to know. Because we’ve been given absolute OODLES of page time about these aliens, yet still somehow know next to NOTHING about them. 

Jak’el clicked his teeth together. “I’m surprised at you, Grote. We need the barbarians to gin up a healthy panic. Coups are so much simpler if you wait until the population demands one.”

Chapter 22 summary: If I have one complaint about this series, is that there is so much that’s said… But not one single bit of it is spent on things that are actually important. For example, this chapter opens on more than two pages of watching these aliens interacting with one another. However, to what end? What is this accomplishing? Why should the readers even care about this? None of these questions have ever been brought forth, and I’m seriously getting so fucking fed up with it.

Eventually, one of the aliens starts to complain about how his commanding officer ordered him to not completely destroy Maggie. The other alien says that the humans have already opened up an inter-space portal on earth… Which is against all discussion about what the humans can and can’t do. 

At the end of the chapter, it’s revealed that the other alien is literally… uh… I shit you not, two smaller aliens standing on top of one another, and wearing a trenchcoat. Their goal is to goad the one alien into doing his bidding, I guess? Again, a lot of words are said. Nearly a page of this. Yet nothing is ever actually explained to the readers about this. I’ve given up on trusting the process at this point; the author has lost their chance this late into the book.