#instead of writing like full essays in the tags

[mcrdvcks]

Sweet Nothing

Summary: Mornings were Logan's favorite part of the day.

Word Count: 2.6k+

Pairing: Logan (X-Men) x fem!reader

Notes: i came up with this idea yesterday when i took a nap instead of writing an essay for my energy policy class. this is my first time writing smut for logan so any critiques are welcome!

warnings/tags: no use of y/n, porn with no plot, pet names (baby, sweetheart), unprotected piv, creampie, not proofread

You were like a cat, practically purring into his neck as you slept peacefully, your arm around his chest and your leg hoisted around his stomach.

But Logan wouldn’t trade it for anything, not when he could watch your chest rise and fall steadily, your bare body pressed up against his own.

Logan’s arm tightened around your waist, the weight of you grounding him. He loved the way your breath hitched when he shifted, your skin pressed flush against his. "Mm, baby," his voice came out low, almost a growl, lips brushing against your forehead. His fingers grazed your bare hip, pulling you tighter against his side.

Your leg slipped further up his body, your thigh brushing his stomach, every part of you tangled with him. His chest rumbled, the warmth of your skin driving him wild. He couldn't help but dip his head, nuzzling the soft spot just beneath your ear, breathing you in, "Can’t get enough of you like this," he murmured, his hand roaming down your spine.

A sleepy smile tugged at your lips as you shifted, nuzzling closer into his neck, the feeling of his stubble grazing your cheek sending shivers down your body. The heat of the morning sun was nothing compared to the heat between the two of you, the sheets a tangled mess beneath you both, the air thick with something else entirely.

Logan’s rough hand slid lower, finding the curve of your ass, fingers splaying across the soft flesh. "Always gotta be all over me, don’t you, sweetheart?" His voice was thick with need, each word a low, gravelly tease as he squeezed, hard enough to make you hum softly into his neck. He loved the way you responded to his touch, every sound you made driving him deeper into the moment.

You shifted again, your hips rolling instinctively against him, and that was it. Logan’s breath hitched, his cock stirring against your thigh. He let out a quiet grunt, rough fingertips grazing the inside of your thigh, teasing your skin with lazy circles. "You keep that up, baby," he warned, voice darker now, more possessive, "and I’m not gonna be able to hold back."

Your eyes flickered open just a bit, catching the hungry look in his eyes, the way his jaw clenched as he gripped your ass harder. You couldn’t help but smile, that playful, knowing smirk. You knew exactly what you were doing. And so did he.

Logan groaned, his hand slipping between your legs, fingers brushing the heat between your thighs. "Fuck, you're soaked," he rasped, fingers gliding over your folds, teasing you just enough to make you squirm. "Needy already, huh? Such a good girl for me."

You whined softly, your hips pushing back against his hand, desperate for more. But Logan wasn’t about to let you have it that easy. He kept his touch feather-light, teasing, dragging his fingers over you just enough to drive you insane.

Logan’s fingers teased along your wet folds, barely brushing the surface, just enough to make you whine again, hips rolling forward, desperate for more than just a teasing touch. "Needy little thing, aren't you?" he murmured, voice a gravelly rasp that sent shivers down your spine. His breath, hot and thick against your ear, only added to the tension building between your legs.

You pressed yourself harder against his hand, a soft, pleading moan slipping from your lips. "Logan," you whispered, the word coming out like a prayer, breathless, full of need. He chuckled darkly, the sound vibrating against your neck as he nuzzled deeper into the crook, stubble scraping your skin in that way that always drove you wild.

"Patience, sweetheart," Logan muttered, his fingers finally dipping between your slick folds, parting them with agonizing slowness. His touch was firm, yet still teasing, fingers gliding through your wetness, but never quite giving you the pressure you were aching for. His thumb circled your clit, slow, lazy movements that had you squirming in his arms, a quiet whimper escaping your throat.

You gasped, grinding against him, desperate for more friction, more anything. His body was a solid, immovable wall, warm and grounding, but that teasing hand had you on edge. "Fuck, Lo," you moaned, barely able to keep still, your hips rocking against his touch. Logan’s other arm tightened around you, holding you in place, his lips grazing your ear.

"That’s it. Keep making those sweet little noises for me," he growled, fingers sliding down to circle your entrance, teasing just enough to have your breath hitching. He pressed the tip of one finger inside you, just enough to feel how wet you were for him. "So fucking wet already," he murmured, his lips pressing against your neck, teeth grazing lightly. "You want it bad, don’t you?"

You nodded frantically, the need building in your core, hips pushing back against him. His finger slid in deeper, slow and deliberate, making you squirm even more. "God, Logan, please," you begged, your voice thick with desperation, body trembling with want. You could feel his cock pressing against your thigh, throbbing with need just like you.

He chuckled again, low and dark, before adding a second finger, curling them inside you, finally giving you that delicious pressure you’d been craving. Your back arched, a moan ripping from your throat as your walls clenched around his fingers. "There you go," he muttered, his voice rough as gravel. "Take what you need, baby."

You were a mess, grinding against his hand, your body moving on instinct. His fingers moved faster now, pumping in and out of you, slick and wet, the sound filling the room. His thumb pressed harder against your clit, rubbing in tight circles that had you gasping, your body tensing as you climbed higher, faster.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he growled into your ear, his breath hot against your skin. His hips rocked against you, his hard cock pressing insistently against your thigh. "Gonna make you come all over my fingers before I even think about giving you anything more."

The knot in your stomach tightened, your entire body trembling, on the edge, so fucking close. Logan knew exactly what he was doing, his fingers curling just right inside you, his thumb relentless on your clit, pushing you closer and closer. "Come on, baby," he urged, his voice dark and commanding. "I want to feel you come for me."

His words sent you over the edge, your body shuddering as the orgasm ripped through you, a cry spilling from your lips. Your walls clenched around his fingers, your hips bucking against his hand as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over you.

Logan didn’t stop, his fingers still working you through it, prolonging the sensation, his other arm holding you tight against him as you rode out the high. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your body trembling, oversensitive and overstimulated, but still craving more. You wanted him.

"Fuck, sweetheart," he muttered, pulling his fingers out of you, wet and glistening. He brought them up to your lips, brushing them against your mouth, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Taste yourself," he growled softly.

Without hesitation, you opened your mouth, sucking his fingers in, tasting your own slickness on his skin. Logan groaned, his eyes dark with desire as he watched you, the heat between you both palpable. His fingers slid from your lips with a wet pop, leaving your mouth craving more.

Before you could even catch your breath, Logan shifted, rolling you onto your back with ease, his weight pressing you into the sheets. His body hovered over yours, his chest brushing against your breasts as he leaned in, capturing your lips in a slow, hungry kiss. His tongue swept into your mouth, tasting, claiming, while his hand trailed down your side, fingers tracing the curve of your waist.

"Fuck, you taste so sweet," he muttered against your lips, his breath hot, sending a shiver down your spine. His hand slipped lower, finding your thigh, lifting your leg to wrap around his waist. The pressure of his hips settled between your legs, his hard cock brushing against your soaked entrance, teasing you with the promise of what was to come.

Logan moved slowly, his hips rocking just enough for you to feel the length of him dragging against your folds, the friction making you gasp, your hands clenching in the sheets. "Shit, baby, you’re dripping for me," he growled, his voice thick with need, as he ground his hips harder, the tip of his cock pressing lightly against your clit, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through you.

You bucked your hips, desperate for more, your body aching for him to fill you. "Please, Lo," you breathed, your voice trembling with desire. "Need you inside me."

A low, feral groan rumbled from his chest as he nudged your legs wider, positioning himself at your entrance. His eyes locked onto yours, dark and intense, filled with a hunger that made your heart race. Slowly, torturously, he pushed in, stretching you inch by inch, filling you completely. The sensation of him inside you, thick and hot, made your head spin, a soft whimper escaping your lips.

"Fuck," Logan hissed, his jaw clenched as he buried himself to the hilt, his body still for a moment as he savored the feel of you wrapped tight around him. "You feel so fucking good, sweetheart." His hands gripped your hips, fingers digging into your skin as he began to move, pulling out slowly before thrusting back in, the rhythm steady but deliberate.

You moaned softly, your hands sliding up his back, nails dragging across his skin as he set a slow, sensual pace, his cock gliding in and out of you with maddening precision. "Logan," you gasped, your back arching off the bed, the pleasure building steadily with each thrust. "Fuck... that feels so good."

Logan's mouth found your neck, his lips trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your skin, his teeth grazing your pulse. "I know, baby," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear as his hips rocked into you, deep and slow, every movement calculated to drive you insane. His hands roamed over your body, fingers squeezing your ass as he angled his hips just right, hitting that perfect spot inside you that made your toes curl.

Your breath hitched, a broken moan slipping from your lips as you wrapped your legs tighter around him, pulling him closer, needing more. Logan growled low in his throat, his thrusts becoming more insistent, his cock driving into you harder, deeper, each one sending a shockwave of pleasure through your entire body.

"Fuck, you feel so good wrapped around me," he groaned, his voice rough and thick with desire. His hand slid between your bodies, fingers finding your clit, rubbing in tight circles that had you gasping, your hips grinding against his, desperate for more friction. "Come for me, sweetheart," he growled, his thumb pressing harder against your clit, his thrusts growing rougher, faster. "I want to feel you come around my cock."

You could barely breathe, the pleasure building to a fever pitch, every nerve in your body on fire as his fingers worked your clit, his cock pounding into you with just the right rhythm. It was too much, the heat, the pressure, his low growls in your ear driving you over the edge. With a strangled cry, your body tensed, your walls clenching around him as the orgasm ripped through you, your vision going white as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over you.

"Fuck, yes," Logan groaned, his pace faltering as he felt you tighten around him, his cock twitching inside you. With one final thrust, he buried himself deep, his body shaking as his release hit, spilling inside you with a low, guttural moan. He held you tight, his breath ragged against your neck, his body trembling with the aftershocks.

For a long moment, the only sound was your mingled breathing, bodies entwined, his weight a comforting pressure holding you to the bed. Logan's lips hovered over yours, brushing them softly, like a lingering promise. His rough fingers skimmed along your side, tracing the dips of your waist, as if savoring the way your body still hummed from the intensity.

He shifted beside you, the warm length of him pressing into your skin, a quiet rumble in his chest as he nuzzled your neck again, his stubble scraping against your pulse. "Still with me, sweetheart?" Logan's voice was low, teasing, his mouth ghosting over your jawline. The rasp of his tone sent another shiver down your spine, even though your body was still heavy from release.

"Mmhmm," you murmured, barely able to form a coherent word, your breath catching as his lips trailed lower, grazing the soft skin just under your ear. Logan chuckled, the sound vibrating against your skin, as his hand slid down, resting on your thigh, fingers splayed out across your skin.

He pulled back enough to meet your eyes, the intensity in his gaze making your pulse quicken again. His thumb rubbed absentminded circles into your skin, like he needed the physical connection just as much as you did. "You really wore me out this time," he teased, smirking that cocky grin of his, though the hunger in his eyes hadn’t fully faded.

Your fingers slid into his hair, tugging him back down toward you. "Don’t act like you didn’t love every second of it," you shot back, breathless but smiling.

Logan chuckled, low and deep, dipping down to kiss you again, slow and deliberate, savoring the way your lips felt against his. "Damn right," he muttered between kisses. "Could stay like this forever."

For a moment, the world outside the room felt distant, forgotten, the only thing that mattered was the heat between your bodies, the steady rhythm of your breaths, and the soft warmth of the tangled sheets beneath you. Logan's fingers skimmed your hip, then slipped around to cup your ass, squeezing gently, making you hum softly in response.

"You're a handful, you know that?" His voice was thick with affection, despite the rough edge to it.

"Mm, you love it," you teased, a grin tugging at your lips as your fingers traced the hard lines of his shoulders.

"Yeah, I do," he growled, his lips pressing harder against yours. "Too much sometimes." His breath fanned across your face as he spoke, and you could feel the steady beat of his heart, matching your own.

Logan's hand slid up your back, pulling you closer to him, his chest warm and solid against yours. For once, the urgency had faded, replaced with something slower, deeper—like he didn’t want to let go of this moment, this feeling. "You good?" he asked, voice quieter now, more tender.

You nodded, resting your forehead against his, your hands curling around his arms, holding onto him like you never wanted to let go. "Yeah," you whispered, feeling the weight of the day melt away with him there beside you.

"Good," he murmured, kissing the top of your head, the gentleness of the gesture at odds with the wild, raw passion from earlier. But that was Logan- rough and intense, but capable of surprising softness when it came to you.

His hand settled on the small of your back, pulling you flush against him again as he let out a long, contented sigh. The steady rise and fall of his chest was soothing, grounding, as you drifted into the comfort of the moment, his warmth wrapping around you like a shield from the world outside.

"Stay here," he rumbled, his voice barely more than a growl, but there was something deeper in his tone, something protective.

You smiled softly against his chest, fingers tracing idle patterns along his skin. "Always."

[cutehoons02]

Puppy Love: The Hybrid's Heart

*pairing: Golden retriever puppy hybrid Jake x human popular bratty Girl

*trope: oppositive attraction

*synopsis: What if you were to do a project on the economic boom that brought hybrids into the human world in terms of love and sex with Jake a golden retriever hybrid who at first glance looks like a puppy but slowly becomes obsessed with you, and you with your shameless insolence propose to write an essay on the overselling of sexual protections against hybrids? This idea of yours might be brilliant academically but on the plane between your relationship with the hybrid Jake could bring some spicy consequences

*tags: a lot of fluffy and fun, a lot of tension, Jake is a shy fake boy, the protagonist is quite bratty and spoiled but also has a tender side, teasing, territorial animal instinct and possession, kisses, sexual tension, masturbation (f.receives) unprotected sex (don’t horny ppl) fingering, knot filling, pet names (baby,princess) (puppy,jakey)

7.6k (🐕)

(English is not my native language,)

The world was no longer just for humans.

Since hybrids became an integral part of society, each sector had to adapt to their presence. Medicine, law, food, and education; the world has now normalized the presence of hybrids, who coexist with humans in every aspect of society. Some are still considered "tools" for certain purposes, but others, like Jake, want to prove that they are more than what they were created for. At school or university, hybrids have mixed classes with humans, but there is still some prejudice against them. Some see them as merely trained life companions, others as true peers, instead, you were extremely skeptical, saw them as beings too perfect to be true, always kind, always smiling... which you suspect but your friends always told you to charge one or to feel the thrill of being filled by one of them but you in a sense also hated the male human gender; Going with a hybrid would have been even worse and you firmly believed that the hybrids had repressed instincts and that all their sweetness was just a mask to hide their true primordial nature of possessing someone.

In the human world, there were various forms of hybrids the most common ones were those of dogs with then the sub-species and the same thing was for cats, then there were rabbits, hamsters, and then birds but if you thought that there were only these species you were mistaken. There were hybrid wolves which were the rarest especially if they were Alphas, foxes, deer, bears, snakes, and so on.

The auditorium was full of students, and the hum of whispers filled the air while the professor was busy with the projector. The door snapped open, and a figure came in steadily without the least embarrassment of delay.

Jake barely looked up from his notebook and saw you dressed in tight jeans that tied your legs and a sweater that slipped on your shoulders.

He had never spoken to you but knew you by hearsay in the halls of the university that you were one of the most popular girls, but he noticed you immediately. Not so much for your appearance - even though it was clear that you were aware of pleasure - but for the way you moved: confident, almost cocky, as if you challenged anyone to tell you something.

Your eyes set on the only empty place next to him and with a theatrical sigh, you approached and stopped right there in front of him.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" you asked in a slightly sarcastic tone.

Jake looked at you for a moment, then tilted his head. An involuntary gesture, almost canine, that betrayed his hybrid nature, and felt his tail bursting more than it should.

«Not too much,» he replied, with a relaxed smile.

You raised an eyebrow, then dropped down on the chair with a studious ease and pulled out the notebook slowly, as if you were doing the professor a favor by attending the class.

Jake looked at you again, out of the corner of his eye and that’s when he heard it.

Your perfume, my lord. Sweet, with a vanilla note... but also something fresh, almost pungent. It was rare that a smell hit him like this, the hybrids had a developed sense of smell, sure, but after years among humans he got used to ignoring certain things but this... was too good.

Too persistent.

He barely shook his head, trying to ignore him, but at that moment you spoke again.

"I’ve never seen a hybrid in an advanced course," you commented, crossing your legs under the bench and Jake barely smiled.

«And I have never seen a girl arrive late with so much confidence and boldness»

You smiled amused because you knew how the hybrids could always be perfect in everything, never late, always right at every deadline was a thing that united their species.

"It’s a natural talent that in just a few years!" you said as you flicked through the pages of your notes.

«It must be difficult to perfect, in the human world there are clocks for this, alarms, and reminders but maybe you don’t know that.» He said looking at you with a suspicious smile that made you get on your nerves

"Oh, yes, it takes years of practice, in my house as you may have deduced there are no alarms or maybe I’m just too careless."

Jake chuckled. You liked to tease, this was obvious but not aggressive... it seemed more like a game for you.

"Anyway," you said, getting a little too close for Jake’s taste "Mine wasn’t a joke. I have never seen a hybrid in such a course. I thought they would give you more... practical courses."

Jake stopped tapping his fingers on the bench and turned slightly toward you.

«Practical?» he said intrigued by your question and felt his ears curl up with curiosity.

You smiled, just tilting your head to look at him carefully and he was really beautiful: he had black hair slightly fluffy, his ears were golden and deduced that he was a hybrid of a Golden retriever, wore a black shirt where you could see he had nice muscles and a black leather jacket, of the ripped jeans where you could see his toned legs and the only contrast was his slightly long tail that since you were sitting next to him did not stop moving and was extremely adorable but there was also a darker side: an intensity in his eyes that you had noticed immediately, a smile with perfect teeth that seemed more clever than it should be.

"Yeah. You know, things like obeying, being affectionate, devoted..." Jake laughed softly, his elbow resting on the back of the chair. «If by "practical" you mean that, then I suppose so.» But you shook your head, snapping your tongue.

"No, I mean other things." Jake looked at you with a shadow of curiosity in his eyes.

«What other things?»

You didn’t hesitate for a second to speak and Jake understood that you were extremely cheeky and had no hair on your tongue.

"Obsessing about people. Being territorial. Being perverted from morning to night. And, of course, to breed in mass, I have a friend who has a hybrid at home and is extremely territorial with her, I would never be able to take home a hybrid if then in your nature you become so obsessed and territorial with us» Jake’s smile froze for a moment and for the first time since he had met you, he was speechless.

You had said it too naturally, with too much confidence, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and for a second, Jake felt the heat rise. He was not angry, no but... he felt strange.

He knew well that there were still people who thought so, who saw the hybrids only as beings programmed to satisfy the humans and to satisfy themselves but to hear it in his face, with that almost contemptuous lightness, struck him more than he would have wanted to admit.

He passed his tongue on his teeth, then cleared his throat.

«... And tell me,» he said with a smile that he was trying to mask the irritation. «Do you want me to do these things?»

You burst out laughing, god also he had seriously the taste of humor at the stars and no doubt knew how to tease you and always had the ready answer, maybe his master had trained him well for life as a hybrid mixed with that human being.

"Are you serious?" Jake just stared at you, waiting for your answer and you shook your head, crossing your arms with a haughty little smile.

"No, not even in my worst nightmare would I sleep with a hybrid."

Jake looked away for a second.

Okay, that sentence... had more effect than expected.

Not that he was interested in that way - he said - but the way you had said it, with that absolute confidence, had left him a small, annoying scratch in his pride and passed a hand through his hair, then came back to look at you with an ironic smile.

«Ah, well...» he said, lowering his voice. «I’m sorry to break your heart, but even in my worst nightmares I wouldn’t dream of jumping on you.»

You laughed again, but this time his eyes shone with satisfaction and Jake stared at you for a moment, then barely shook his head, returning to focus on the professor but your scent kept invading his senses and was damn good.

The teacher clapped his hands a couple of times to get the class’s attention.

— Well, guys. For future lessons, I want you to work in pairs with those next to you. You will have to write a short essay on the economic and social boom that occurred after the integration of hybrids in our society, especially in the sentimental sector and... - paused, putting his glasses on his nose, - sexual.

In the courtroom, there was a murmur mixed with some suffocated laughter. Someone turned to look at his sidekick with funny or embarrassed expressions.

Jake ran his hand through his hair, letting go a slight sigh. Fantastic and his new sidekick snorted and laughed.

"Well, I guess you won’t get rid of me that easily then," you said. Jake turned to you, finding you with a clever smirk on your lips. There was something mischievous in your tone as if you were enjoying every second of that situation.

What about him? He wasn’t sure how to feel. On the one hand, the idea of spending more time with you meant dealing with your cheeky attitude and sharp tongue.

On the other hand... your perfume, it was absurd, sweet, and pungent, insinuated itself in his senses in a way that he could not ignore.

"That might be a problem," he thought, his tongue in his teeth.

You meanwhile stretch out your hand, with an almost bored expression, as if you were simply doing your social duty.

"My name is Y/n." Jake looked down at your hand for a moment, then did the same.

«Jake,» he said in a low voice smiling at you, and as soon as your hands touched, both of you felt a slight electric shock. You withdrew your hand after a second, barely clenching your fingers, as if you were unsure of what she had just felt. Jake, on the other hand, stood still, his face as relaxed as ever... but something inside of him had lit up.

He had felt the shock more intensely than he should. Like a shiver along the back, an impulse that had made his hair on the arms and clenched his jaw, trying to ignore it.

It was nothing, could not be anything.

Yet, as you turned to take your notebook and start working, he stood still for a moment too long, his eyes still fixed on his hand, as if trying to figure out what the hell had happened.

Jake nervously drummed his fingers on the table, trying to ignore the annoyance that twisted in his stomach every time you came into the library or private rooms to continue with the work your economics professor had assigned.

There were days that you worked together and, if possible, he found you more and more unbearable; you arrived late every time, as if it was your natural right and sincerely thought you did it on purpose to see him annoyed by you. And not a few minutes, once you had waited 40 minutes under the bus shelter and it was raining and when you arrived you looked at him as if you had before you not a human and animal half but a puppy left alone. Although to be honest, today ten minutes seemed almost a miracle, and then the way you dressed... always those little skirts that seemed to come out of an anime for under 18 years old, always those soft sweaters where you let see your skin smooth and perfect that slipped on your shoulders, and the loose hair that framed your face with almost irritating ease.

And your perfume, damn it, your perfume. Every day it seemed to get more intense, more enveloping, as if she wanted to drag him inside without anything he could do about it.

Jake strove to look away while you sat beside him with the usual carelessness, pulling out your notes with exasperating slowness but then saw you take something out of your bag.

A small box and he felt his breath stop for a moment, Jake recognized it instantly.

Anti-hybrid contraceptives. In pill format for girls. In condom format for boys. He felt the blood go to his head instantly, and a burst of heat rose on his cheeks before he could even control himself. Instinctively, he also felt his tail flutter hard, too hard and forced himself to stop it, clearing his throat in a desperate attempt to mask his reaction.

You noticed immediately and, of course, you made you laugh.

"Oh? What’s this face, Jake? You’re a little too reactive to be such a smart hybrid, aren’t you?"

Jake put his hand on his neck, trying to ignore the way his body was reacting against his will.

«It’s nothing,» he mumbled, trying to appear indifferent but you did not let yourself be fooled and you leaned at the table with a mischievous smirk, making the box swing between your fingers.

"Ah-ah, I wouldn’t say. You lit up like a light bulb. What, you’ve never seen one before?"

Jake stared at you. «I know what it is,» he said, trying to keep her cool. «I just didn’t expect you to take it out so... naturally.»

You laugh again and open the box, taking out a pill and swirling it between your fingers.

"Oh, honey, I always have an escort with me. You know, just to be safe. You never know, with all these hybrids around, so obsessed, territorial, and..." you got a little closer, looking at him provocatively, "perverts from morning to night."

Jake clenched his jaw and thought you were a damn problem and the worst part was that you knew exactly how much you were causing it.

You laughed and slipped the pill back into its wrapper.

"I guess your master didn’t explain to you what it means to be ironic, I’ve never taken one of these pills in my life sincerely; I just wanted to make fun of you a little bit," you said, putting the box on the table. " We can talk about it in our essay."

Jake raised an eyebrow and did not understand what I wanted to say sincerely.

«Contraceptives?» he said in a low voice as his cheeks warmed.

"Sure." You leaned on the back of the chair, fiddling with the box. "Come on, think of the gigantic market that has been created since hybrids entered our lives. The anti-hybrid condoms and these pills are very popular. Sometimes they’re even sold out in whole cities. It’s a multimillion-dollar business and thank God they are used to protect us from diseases and becoming mothers too soon!"

Jake nodded slowly, acknowledging that the argument made sense.

«It’s true. We could also talk about the condoms that we hybrids can use to release our seed and knot inside.»

You smiled and clapped Jake’s hands and sensitive ears rose with speed as he heard you slap them and smile.

"Perfect. So let’s try to put down our ideas and see that they are not as bad as you thought!" You gave him a slight elbow in the side and he nodded slightly feeling for a few seconds your skin in contact with his.

You worked, exchanging ideas and writing the first few paragraphs. As much as he found you annoying, Jake had to admit that you were brilliant had a lot of ideas for the head, and knew how to connect concepts, and how to make the essay interesting.

But he... he had a problem.

Since that little box appeared on the table, his body seemed to activate without his permission.

His golden tail did not stop moving, slamming against the leg of the chair. His ears were always on alert, picking up every sound or movement. And then... the heat on his cheeks. He needed to run his hand through his hair, to fix the collar of the sweatshirt as if he could find some relief.

It was a disaster and every time you talked to him you noticed that there was something strange about him and after two hours of notes thrown down in the computer you tore yourself into the chair and cleared your throat and watched him for a moment, narrowing your eyes.

Jake was... beautiful. Too beautiful. The kind of beauty that made hybrids seem even more dangerous than they already were. His face was sculpted but soft in the right places, and when he smiled he had that vaguely mischievous air that made the weak college girls knee-deep, and now, as he stirred, it was even more obvious that his body was reacting strangely.

You bit the inside of your cheek, then, with your usual insolence, you asked:

"Jake... have you ever laid a litter?" He suddenly froze and his eyes opened wide, surprised and passed the drink that he was drinking and you gently shook your hand on his back to make him recover

«What?!» said slightly incredulous of having heard that phrase coming out of your mouth that you couldn’t keep quiet for more than two minutes and you laughed amused.

"You understand very well. Have you ever had a litter?" Jake was speechless for a second, then burst out laughing, incredulous at the blatant question

«No!» and you stared at him, shocked.

"No? What’s not?!"

Jake crossed his arms, shaking his head with a funny smile.

«What surprises you so much? I can not inseminate and tie puppies from morning to night» he told you in a funny way

"You’re a hybrid!" you exclaimed. "I thought it was... boh, part of your instinct. Like, that’s what you were made for, right?"

Jake raised an eyebrow, this timeless amused.

«Wow. Is that how you see it?» said Jake in a somewhat sad and annoyed way, and you shrugged your shoulders, not breaking up.

"I see reality, Jake." He looked at you for a long moment, then shook his head with a half smile.

«Not all hybrids are obsessed with reproduction, you know?»

"No, but most do."

«I don’t,» he replied firmly

"Really?" you said curious

"Y/n. Sooner or later I would like to have a family of either single hybrids or half hybrids but for now, I want to make a career as you are doing, I would like to graduate and then find a job that satisfies me, and who knows also a companion to be with and not only to breed puppies!»

You looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion, Jake was really a good guy and you could see that he tried every day to be respected and not fall into the traps of humans and then you bowed your head and smiled again.

"Well, then you’re an anomaly but I like this more "human" side of you that you want to make a career and live a normal life. We are bombarded with stories of hybrids that mate just for pleasure!"

Jake chuckled, returning to writing.

«Or maybe I just have high standards of life and love» he said looking at you and smiling.

"Ah yes?" you said curious

«Yes, Y/n. Go back to studying» You stared at him for a few seconds, then you just laughed, shaking your head.

That afternoon you were writing on the computer all the different types of contraceptive pills for hybrids and read there was a lot for any knot that filled you with animal and you were curious but also a little shocked and wanted to ask too much Jake if he had ever filled some. Nobody at school talked openly about what it meant to be with them in a physical sense. It was a taboo subject in sex education classes, yet, in the real world, everyone talked about it.

Many of your friends had fun with the hybrids at least once, and they all said the same thing.

"It is amazing."

"Being filled with them is an absurd feeling."

"The knot... is the best thing you can feel."

But you were always skeptical, you couldn’t stand certain humans, let alone hybrids. They were stronger, more instinctive, more... Unpredictable yet, sitting next to Jake, curiosity tickled you.

He was so beautiful that it hurt to the eyes, and yet it all seemed almost... Embarrassed when you provoked him you slightly turn towards him, resting your chin on the hand.

"Jake..." He didn’t take his eyes off the notebook, but his ears moved slightly.

«Mh? What other uncomfortable question will you ask me today?» he said laughing.

"Have you ever knotted anyone?" Jake instantly stuck his fingers on the paper, and his tail, which had been moving slowly until then, suddenly twitched and turned to you, and for the first time, he saw something he’d never seen in your eyes before.

Embarrassment, serious, genuine embarrassment.

«What?!» he asked, almost as if he had not heard well.

"You heard me very well, don’t be shy with me. Have you ever knotted anyone?" Jake felt the heat rise to his head in a flash. He ran his hand through his hair, as he always did when he felt nervous and looked away.

«I..» He shook his head and you flashed your eyes.

"Oh, come on!" you exclaimed with an incredulous laugh. "You’re a liar. You’re too good-looking to have never been with anyone."

Jake gnawed his cheek inside and heard his tail churning for your appreciation of him, he didn’t like where he was going to end that conversation, not with you so close, not with that perfume that invaded his lungs and clouded his thoughts.

«It happened only once,» he finally admitted, with a lower tone. You stared at him carefully, grasping the tension in his body, the way he seemed to... restrain himself.

"So? How was it? Did you like it?" Jake put his hand over his neck, undecided whether or not to answer, and finally sighed.

«No.» You stopped laughing and looked at him, confused.

"What do you mean?" you said in a low voice and Jake looked down slightly.

«It was not... an act of pleasure.» he paused, clenching his hands. «They used me only to make me lose my virginity, both hybrid and animal.»

You felt something gripping your stomach and you didn’t expect it, not from him.

You had always mocked him, convinced that he was like all the other hybrids, that he was just another boy too handsome and too sure of himself but now, seeing him like this... You wanted to say something, to fill the gap that had been created between you.

You approached him cautiously, looking at him with a mixture of hesitation and displeasure. You had never seen him so... Vulnerable and without thinking too much, you reached out your hand and gently caressed his golden ears. Jake froze for a second, surprised by the contact, then unintentionally relaxed. It was as if his body reacted by itself as if your gesture had a calming effect on him. His tail, which until then had been agitating nervously, stopped.

"Sorry," you whispered, in a tone you had never used with him before and Jake shrugged, looking away.

«You can even stop pretending to be sorry,» he said, with a half-bitter smile. «I know very well that you don’t care about me. You just like to tease me.»

You looked at him for a long moment, then shook your head.

"No. I won’t make fun of you any more about these things. And I won’t ask you any more personal questions." Jake turned to you with a cheeky smirk, his usual cocky attitude coming back to life.

«Oh? Then it’s my turn to ask personal questions?»

You raised an eyebrow. "Depends on the question."

Jake leaned against the table with a relaxed look, then looked you straight in the eye.

«Have you ever been with a boy?» Did you get stuck for a moment Jake tilted his head slightly. «I mean, did you lose your virginity?» And at that moment you realized he had asked you the exact same question. And you were bad with him and looked slightly down, then nodded slowly.

"Yes. I had... a kind of boyfriend" Jake stood in silence, waiting for him to continue and you were fiddling with the pen between your fingers as if you were unsure what to say.

"But I didn’t enjoy sex with him so much, maybe because I didn’t love him or to be honest I never loved anyone" Jake heard a slight growl forming in his throat, Almost imperceptible when he heard that you were not in love with that boy and that you did not like the sexual act.

«Did he hurt you?» Asked in a low voice and you felt that there was something in his tone that made you shudder, it wasn’t just curiosity, it was protection, it was territoriality and Jake felt the urgency grow inside of him uncontrollably. A primordial need to protect you from having you for yourself.

You looked into his eyes and shook your head.

"No, it didn’t hurt" but you saw that Jake wasn’t the same anymore, you were furious with yourself, you had used too heavy words with Jake, and now he was looking at you with a hidden wound and without thinking,

You grabbed it by the collar of the sweatshirt and pulled it to you, the lips that collided with hers in a kiss full of emotion and repressed anger.

God, what were you doing?

Jake stood motionless for a moment, surprised, but his animal instinct overwhelmed him soon after. His hands slid on your hips, holding them firmly as he lifted you with ease and seated you on the table. Her kiss answered yours with a mix of sweetness and pure possession, the lips that devoured yours with growing hunger.

«Y/n...» he murmured against your mouth between one kiss and another, the warm breath that touched your skin. «You are a little pest. Always teasing me, eh?»

Smile at his lips, nibbling on his lower lip before answering. " And you’re a golden retriever always too loyal... but maybe you have a wild side after all."

Jake growled quietly, amused and provoked by his words. «Oh, Y/n... you don’t even know what trouble you’re in.»

His hands went up your thighs, making you feel the warmth of his touch even through your clothes and you stroked his ears, knowing exactly how sensitive he was at that point. A shiver passed through Jake, who closed his eyes for a moment, panting softly.

«Damnation, Y/n...» he whispered with a crooked smile. «If you continue like this, I will not answer for my actions.»

You slowly recline, sinking your fingers in his hair. "What if that’s exactly what I want?"

When you left, Jake’s tail couldn’t stop. He felt so good, but at the same time excited, and whispered to you: «You are driving me crazy from the first day.» you smiled maliciously and tried to kiss him on the neck. When Jake heard you lightly sucking his skin near the ear, he groaned softly but immediately broke away from you.

«We can’t continue,» he said in a roaring voice and you looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Why not?"

Jake sighed, lowering his voice. «Why would I stop. I’d fill you with my knot several times,Y/n. Your perfume makes me go crazy. And I know you’re still reluctant about hybrids... If I gave you to me, everything would change between us.»

His look was serious, intense. «For me, it’s not a game, and I know it’s not for you either. You act like a cheeky little girl, but I know that you have respect for me and the other hybrids. First, you have to figure out if you really like me or if I’m just a hobby. When you find the answer, you’ll tell me. But until you know, I can’t take any chances. I want to be just one person. I don’t want to get hurt again.» And with these words, he gave you a little kiss on the forehead and made you stand up from the table.

In those weeks of study, you were still a cheeky and popular girl with Jake you loved to tease him but at the same time understand him. You had first seen him in his animal form as a golden retriever and he was beautiful and playful with you, Jake had made you meet Sunghoon a friend of his hybrid snow fox, and Jungwon a hybrid Bengal cat. At first, you were strange and anxious about this thing but over time you had made friends with them and well Jake every day that passed could not stop touching you.

You kissed a little too much even though you weren’t engaged. He explained everything about him and the sexual part of the knot and slowly you realized that he was really starting to like you and becoming more and more important to you.

The research you and Jake had done on the economic boom of hybrids using anti-hybrid contraceptives was a success. The professor even complimented you. But that victory also had a downside: you didn’t have Jake as your work partner anymore. You noticed it, he seemed a bit down in morale, even if he never admitted it openly.

Fortunately, you both studied economics, so over the next few months you would have had more classes together.

The students of the course had organized a party and you were there with your friends, dressed in a dress perhaps a little too succinct for Jake’s standards. He looked at you with that territorial gaze, every interaction you had with some human being, especially male, seemed to make him tremble with irritation. He knew you were popular, but not that much. He noticed how some guys looked at you all night and, at one point, he got fed up.

With his tail wagging slightly and his ears raised, he approached you with a grin.

«Baby», he said, tilting his head with fake innocence, «are you aware of how many glances you attract with that little dress?»

You gave him a mischievous smile, sipping your drink. "Oh? Are you worried about me, puppy?"

Jake snorted, getting even closer. «Worried? No. Tired of seeing all these idiots staring at you as if you were a succulent meal? Absolutely yes.»

You laugh and enjoy his jealousy. "What’s the problem? It’s not my fault I’m pretty."

He clenched his jaw slightly, then leaned towards you, his voice getting lower. You know, you could be a little more discreet. Don’t you mind being looked at like that?»

You came even closer, your lips a few centimeters from hers. "And you don’t mind?"

Jake looked at you for a moment, then his hand touched your side with an almost imperceptible but possessive gesture. «It depends. If you want all those guys to know that you’re out of reach, I can make it clear to them.»

You raised an eyebrow, nibbling your lip. "Oh? How would you do that?"

Jake smiled, tilting his head. «Do you really want to find out, Y/n? Because I don’t know if you’ll like being claimed in front of everyone.»

Your heart skipped a beat, but you kept the cheek.

"Maybe you should try it, then. Let’s see if you have the courage."

Jake laughed softly, his eyes shone with a dangerous light. «You’re playing with fire, baby. And you know it.»

You smiled, caressing his ear distractedly, making the poor hybrid shudder. "And then burn me, Jake."

Late at night, the music was still pulsing in the disco and everyone was dancing. You were having fun too, but Jake, tired of the whole situation, came up to you with a look full of tension. «I can’t take it anymore," he murmured in a low, hoarse voice.»

You smiled maliciously and, caressing his soft golden retriever ears, mocked him. " Oh, does the little golden retriever have to sleep?"

Jake growled softly, approaching you with a predatory look. «I’m not tired of sleep,» he hissed, his eyes fixed on you. «I can’t stand to see you dancing with those idiots anymore. I want you so much, Y/n. You’re driving me crazy.»

Without thinking too much, you took his hand and together left the disco, walking quickly towards your university room. The journey was quiet, charged with electricity, and as you closed the door behind you, Jake did not waste time. His hands squeezed you firmly as his lips pressed against yours in a possessive but sweet kiss, laden with desire held back for too long. His tongue explored his mouth with greed, while one of his hands crept into your hair, squeezing it lightly to hold you close.

It was only for a moment, the breathless breath. «I want you, Y/n. I want to make you mine.»

You looked at him with bright eyes, your heart beating like crazy. Annuisti, but Jake was not satisfied. He touched your face with his nose, his warm breath on your skin. «No, I want to hear your beautiful voice tell me. Tell me you love me. Tell me you want to be mine... that you want my knot to fill you.»

You shivered at the sound of those words, feeling the heat enveloping you more and more. He looked at you with devastating intensity, waiting for your answer.

"I want to be yours, Jake." When Jake heard these words coming out of your mouth slightly pushed you onto the bed and without thinking began to smell you and then give you small kisses on your neck mixed with small pacifiers and light bites to claim you that made you crazy and moan his name, You began to rub yourself in its length covered by his jeans and at the same time caressing his hair and his ears and felt it more and more excited and the same thing happened to you.

There was something almost intoxicating in having him over you, his wide body looming over yours, his dark brown eyes with heavy eyelids peering at you as if he wanted to devour you completely and to have you all to himself, continued his kiss trail along your body, Stopping only when you pulled the top over your head, leaving you with only your underwear and saw his cheeks warm up when he took off your breast-rest and began to tease with one hand your right breast and the other began to suck your bud; It was a beautiful feeling and while he sucked you and left some trail of saliva you pinched him slightly and stuck your back to the feeling of his hands in your breast and his tongue that was doing a dangerous game just to tease you and make you go away the head.

«Fuck, you’re so sexy but at the same time sensitive to my touch». Jake panted as his hand touched your breast, the nipple creaking against the cold feeling of his tongue making you groan. You were so sensitive, the feeling sent you a jolt, gasping as Jake smiled at your skin and thought if you were so sensitive with only his tongue in your buds, he couldn’t wait to see you go crazy while he’d innocence you to him and push himself inside of you.

His other hand slid between your legs, touching the wet stain that had formed on your underwear as you pushed into his hand with a moan.

«Fuck, you’re soaked for me, baby». Groaning to the feeling of your excitement covering his fingers, the lips meeting yours once again in a hungry kiss, Jake detached himself from your lips, quickly lifting his shirt off his body as he threw it somewhere in the room, The sound of his belt unbuckling hit you right to the heart.

You watched him in just his boxers and he was definitely beautiful, his hair was messy, his cheeks were red, his body had beautiful abdominal ridges and you licked your lips when you saw his V-line go down to the stuffing of its length.

"I want you so much." Whining.

Jake smiled as he hovered over you again, his hands meeting your full boob again and the other hand traveling to your inner thigh, snapping his finger under the hem of your panties, caressing your clitoris, and ripping a jolt.

"Jake..." you panicked, hands clenching on his shoulders as the pleasure slowly invaded you. He smiled, bowing down to kiss your neck with warm and moist lips. «Calm down, baby...» he whispered in a tone full of possessive sweetness. «I have to prepare you well. I too can’t wait to fill you up, but I want you to be ready.»

You could feel the redness rising up your neck as her touch made you shiver, your thighs trembling with desire.

"Please..." you said in a low voice as you heard him take off your wet panties

«Please, what?» His thumb caressed your clitoris, the sudden friction made you groan, and Jake moved away slightly, his lips brushing your lobe as he murmured. The heat that accumulated in your stomach overwhelmed you as you felt that with one finger he was tickling your clitoris and with another had filled your pussy pulsing around him, You felt that it was pumping and at the same time, it was teasing your clitoris and pinching it just to make you arch your back and beg you to have it inside of you.

God, where was the shy boy who would be embarrassed if you teased him?

"Fuck me, please Jake, I need you" As you came in his fingers he lifted up slightly and your hands fell down, finding their warm and pulsating length between his delicate fingers.

Jake moans softly to the touch, his breath accelerated as his fingers sank deeper into its wet center. «Damn it, baby... You’re so perfect...» he mumbled against your skin, nibbling at her ear lobe.

You barely moved, the hands exploring him with curiosity and need, while your body was tending more and more under his caresses. "Jake... I can’t wait any longer..." You whispered with a supple tone and lowered his boxer shorts and saw his lengthy erected and full of slime liquid and you couldn’t wait to be tied to him and feel it inside you.

"Fuck." You whisper, wondering how beautiful his cock was, which was clinging around your hands and you pumped it slightly and Jake looked at you softly as he put it on top of you. «God, you’re so fucking beautiful.»

You both groan simultaneously at the feeling of his cock touching your clitoris and moving again, aligning with your entrance.

«Ready?» he asked, with a roaring and stinging voice and with a tail that was rumbling for joy and anude, biting his lip.

"Use your words, princess.» he flicked his toe along your folds

"Yes! Yes, please. Fuck me."

He shoved his cock tip into the heat, rubbing it provocatively against your folds and Jake groaned as he pushed his length inside you, your body twitching at that feeling.

It was hot. Big. Deep. The knot was filling you in a way that you would never have imagined; now you understood why human girls were crazy about hybrids. It wasn’t just pleasure-it was the feeling of being held, tied, branded. There was no escape, and yet you didn’t want to run away. Every movement of Jake made you shiver, his knot pulsed inside you, and the mixture of pain and pleasure sent you crazy.

Jake’s dark eyes devoured you, full of desire, with a visceral lust that made him almost savage. The hybrid instinct in him roared, calling you, asking to brand you, to bind her to himself permanently.

When he finally pushed himself inside you, a deep growl escaped from his lips. The feeling was overwhelming, perfect.

"Jake..." your voice trembled, and your eyes were bright as the knot pressed inside you. "It’s so... intense."

He stopped for a moment, inhaling your scent, that sweet aroma mixed with sweat that was driving him crazy.

«Shh, baby... » he leaned over you, the tongue that touched your neck, tasting you. «My knot is trying to tie you to me.»

He pushed deeper and you held your breath as he felt the knot swell, and expand inside you. The mixture of pleasure and that subtle burning made you shiver.

"Jake... the knot..." anxiously, the nails slid down his back, scratching him slightly. "It’s too much... it’s driving me crazy."

He kissed you with force, suffocating his groans in your mouth, the tongue that explored yours with a primitive, possessive hunger.

«You’re almost there." His breath was warm against your skin, his ears flattened for pleasure. «Your body is adapting to me... do you feel it? You are perfect for receiving me.»

It moved again, and the pressure within you increased. You trembled when the knot swelled further, locking it inside you, and preventing it from coming out.

"God..." whispers, clenching at him. "You’re driving me crazy."

Jake smiled at your skin, the tail moving slowly behind him like a satisfied predator.

«Fuck you, baby feel how it grows inside of you.» With each push, you felt the knot getting bigger and bigger and the pleasure penetrated you completely as you felt Jake always pushing himself inside of you and at the same time tickling your clitoris to make you come.

«You know what it means, don’t you?» His voice was low, seductive, almost hypnotic. «It means that my body is trying to tie you to me. He’s trying to... put my puppies inside you.» Your eyes pounded, the heart pounding in your chest. He touched your cheek with his lips, then dropped down the neck, leaving little bites everywhere, imprinting his mark on you.

«I know you’re taking the anti-hybrid contraceptives, baby.» His smile was almost smug. «But sooner or later my knot will fill you in the way it should.»

A shiver passed through you. Those words should have frightened you, but instead, they lit something inside of you, something deep and primordial; you felt the rush of chills and adrenaline take you in the blow and came and after two more pushes Jake filled you completely with his knot and his sperm came out of you and he licked you while you felt that it was still hard and him with those puppy eyes but mixed to territoriality and perversion you looked and nodded slightly as you felt that he sank his cock inside you again, Jake sank his face into the hollow of your neck breathing in your sweet and intoxicating scent while his knot still pulsed inside her. He felt you tremble, your body still shaken by the waves of pleasure that had swept you both away.

«You are so perfect for me... feel how your body is holding me back? As if it didn’t want to let me out...» He said in a hoarse voice, kissing your jaw softly

"I feel it, Jake... God, I feel so full..." you said with a sigh of pleasure

Jake moved slowly inside of you, feeling the pressure wrap him even more, the swollen knot that was still glued to you.

«And you will always be. Always full of me. Of my knot... and my seed.» he said whispering in your ear, with a satisfied smile.

You visibly shudder at his words, a mixture of excitement and total surrender in your dark eyes.

"Yes... yes... I want to be all yours... filled by you..."

Jake kissed you ardently, slowly sinking again «Good, baby. Tell me how much you like it.»

You were anxiously, clinging even more to him. "Jake... you make me feel so good... it’s too beautiful... I still feel the knot throbbing inside of me..."

Jake laughed softly at your lips «Because my body knows that you are mine. I will never have enough of you.»

He moved again, this time more deeply, and moaned, feeling the heat spread everywhere.

Jake with a satisfied sigh, caressed your face sweetly as he looked into your eyes «Do you want some more, baby?»

Bite your lip, clenching your legs around his hips with a mischievous smile: "Yes... yes, Jake... I want more."

Jake growled softly, with a satisfied smile as he kissed you passionately. «Then let me fill you up again. Cause I’m not done with you.»

When Jake broke away from you after you came, he helped you gently clean himself by caressing your face. «Did I hurt you?» He asked with a thread of concern in his voice as he saw you still shaken.

You laughed, shaking your head. "No, you were incredible... just a little intense!"

Jake hugged you, like a real puppy looking for affection, and kissed your head with sweetness. «You’re perfect for me,» I murmured, clenching myself. «You drive me crazy every time... and I think I’m starting to love you."

You looked at him surprised, your heart beating faster in your chest. " I have never loved anyone... but when I am with you I feel something strong," you admitted, looking down.

Jake smiled and, jokingly, whispered: «I can’t wait to hear it for real.»

You chuckled and replied with a fake bored tone: "Yes, maybe in a couple of years."

He burst out laughing and, without warning, began to tickle you, making you laugh and trying to shake off his loving hands. The room was full of laughter, and complicit looks, something that was growing between you, stronger and stronger.

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[crowttore]

I confess I was going to send in a nsfw spring event request (short) but started writing an essay (long) so instead of that whole thing could I please ask for Zandik with hickeys? Getting them or covering them up all embarrassed, or giving if you think it fits better? Can be nsfw or sfw, I just miss embarrassed Zandik a little! Write this one only if it’s not too much tho. Thank you! - Singed

Cannot believe you're not even sharing the nsfw idea :< Also shaking your hand, how could someone not miss embarrassed Zandik?

Tags: Akademiya!Zandik x reader, implied prior nsft activities, hickeys, fluff, established relationship, silly-

Having a relationship - or whatever it was you had - with Zandik came with certain perks. It also came with the aggravating experience of waking up with a sheen of sweat, a pounding headache, and a dry throat. All of it because of the wrong reasons.

Said reason being the poor placement of his bed in direct line of the east-facing window and its glaring lack of curtains. He hadn't gotten around to putting any up yet. You were certain he'd become a Dastur long before 'getting around to it'.

"Zandik.. water…" You whined, swatting at the space beside you with increasing frustration as your hand found nothing but his bed.

Mildly perplexed, and severely dehydrated, you shuffled into a sitting position, temporarily satisfied as your hands found the shirt he'd slept in and slipped it on.

Right. He was presenting a research proposal today.

A raspy chuckle caught your attention just in time to see Zandik wobble as he failed to properly put on a sock.

"So dignified." You merely grinned as he shot you a half-hearted glare, the subtle heat that rose to his cheeks not lost on you.

"You're hardly one to speak of dignity, waking up and acting like some spoiled housepet." There was no real bite to his words, nothing compared to how he snapped like a rabid animal whenever others would push his countless open books aside to make room for themselves in the House of Daena.

A small yawn escaped you, with Zandik swiftly following suit.

"And you're a terrible host," you retorted, beckoning him closer to fix the mess of tousled hair that he always insisted looked 'fine'.

"That so?" Zandik huffed, quick to grasp your chin and force your gaze to the nightstand where a full glass of water glittered tantalisingly in the sun. "Use your eyes next time, it's what they're there for."

Sheepishly, you brought the glass to your puckered lips, squirming until Zandik released his hold. An unfamiliar hint of blue caught your eye in the distorted view through the glass, the odd discoloration around his lips making him look almost anemic.

"Zandik," you tugged on his uniform to prevent his hasty retreat (no doubt anxious to go through all his plans and sketches one last time), "you've got some jam- let me.."

Most graciously, your efforts of licking your thumb and rubbing at his skin were afforded exactly five seconds before Zandik grew restless and swatted your hands away. Odd. It was still there.

"Had your fun?" He huffed, capturing both your wrists in one hand and squeezing them in warning. You couldn't help but parrot the question, clearly much to his dismay based on the tone he continued in, "at least pay attention if you want to rattle me, haven't even had any breakfast yet."

Although he would never admit to it, Zandik sounded nervous. And with good reason, a single mistake could easily cost anyone the support of the Akademiya, so for someone with his reputation? They would expect nothing short of perfection and full compliance with all regulations if they were to even consider backing his project.

Haven't had breakfast yet.

Heat rushed to your cheeks as a dreadful hypothesis formed in your mind. In all honesty, it was less of a hypothesis and closer to fact, there were at least few other options available that would explain the observed phenomena quite as precisely.

Zandik's startled squeak mere seconds after confirmed your suspicion, body already half hidden beneath the blanket as you desperately attempted to disappear. If he hadn't known exactly where you were, the rapid beating of your heart would've surely alerted him.

"Get. Out. Here-" you wrestled him for control of the blanket, catching glimpses of how the color of his eyes had spread to his cheeks, hot puffs of air hitting your face with every word he huffed.

The air was knocked from your lungs as you both hit the floor, laughter bubbling in your chest as the wrestling turned to Zandik merely laying splayed out atop you, his unruly hair tickling your skin. Once he'd settled against you, sharp teeth nipping almost painfully at your neck, it was too tempting to thread your fingers through his hair and pull his head back so you could admire the accidental masterpiece.

"How didn't you notice when I did that?" The question was free of accusation but filled with wonder, your free hand coming up to brush a thumb across his delightfully swollen bottom lip.

You tutted softly at his attempt to sneer, eyes locked on the blooming hickey, fascinated by how dark it appeared. "In case you don't remember, I was preoccupied.." Zandik muttered the words before diving back to bite and suck at your neck, most likely keen on taking revenge.

He ignored the first two calls of his name, one broad hand swatting at your face as you continued to writhe and giggle, "-Zandik! We're not gonna have time to cover it if you keep going-"

A/N: Yeah. It's easier than you think to make a hickey on someone's lip. No, they probably won't feel it. Yes, it's difficult as hell to cover up.

Dottore Masterlist

[nanamineedstherapy]

So you can insult Satosugu and get fiery when someone insults your ship... So you can force that ship on Satosugu shippers and when they defend themselves you get assy?

Grow up. Not everyone will like your ship and no one has to. Don't force it on others.

Omg my first Hate Ask!!!

I wanna thank my mom for giving birth to me.

ohhh my godddd anon. babe.

You sent this like I shot your goldfish. Deep breaths. You are so mad over a post where I literally said "satosugu makes sense in its own way." That’s what you clocked in to rage about? like I personally pushed Suguru off that cliff?

Anon, you’re really out here speed-running a self-own. Came into my inbox like you’re cosplaying "concerned citizen of Tumblr" but wrote the digital equivalent of yelling at a cloud.

Let’s clarify a few things before you trip over your own shoelaces again:

No one insulted SatoSugu. I was asked why Nanago makes more sense to me, and I answered with nuance, lore, death, and quiet adult yearning. If you interpret every mention of another ship as a personal attack on yours, then that’s between you and your reading comprehension skills. Maybe don’t go feral at a post where I call Geto a good girl dad and cry over his karma—and if that read as an attack, then you might be confusing literary analysis with slander. Maybe unpack that before coming for me?

"Forcing ships"? Babe, I’m not strapping you to a chair and making you read Nanago fic Clockwork Orange style. I posted in my blog, under my tag, with my headcanons. If you found it, read the whole damn essay, got this pressed, and still hit send on this ask? That’s not being "forced"—that’s being chronically online. And baby, if I’m forcing a ship on you… why are you here? This is not a hostage situation. You could've clicked “block” and moved on. But instead, you took time out of your day to anonymously bark into my inbox like I summoned your worst fear: a woman with an opinion. Now take your lil Yelp review and go cry in a Google Doc like the rest of us. This is a Nanago zone. That means slow burn. That means tired men in button-ups grieving over vending machines. That means you are free to leave.

“You get fiery when someone insults your ship”— First of all, please point to the insult. My notes are full of love from people vibing, crying, adding headcanons, and clowning Gojo like it’s group therapy. Not a single hate tag. Not one negative comment. Second, who’s “getting fiery”? You’re the one flailing into my inbox like I murdered your childhood imaginary friend. I’m chilling. I'm literally lying on the floor, eating chips, and crying over men who would never emotionally process anything unless it strangled them first. So unless you confused me with someone else, this beef is imaginary. You are shadowboxing. You’re doing parkour over your own projections. You’re the only one throwing a tantrum. You’re in the middle of a funeral screaming about how the flowers aren't your favorite color. I write about dead men with soft hands and fractured dreams. You came into that vibe with your 2011 DeviantArt energy. Are you lost?

You wanna talk ships? Let’s talk ships. SatoSugu is that beautiful, ruined, once-in-a-lifetime love that ended before it began. It's poetic, it's tragic, and it's canonically a corpse. Nanago? That’s the quiet tragedy of almost. Of what could’ve actually existed—if only there had been enough time. That’s why it wrecks people. That’s why I talk about it. You want a turf war over two broken men and their even more broken boyfriend potential? Pick a better battlefield. I’m in the middle of grieving two salarymen who will never share a futon and an eye mask. Respect the dead.

“Grow up.” Okay. Since you made it personal—let’s talk. I’m in my later 20s. I've spent my twenties building actual shit—ran operations for post-production companies, nationally and internationally. Became a CEO at 21 without a man opening doors for me, or my mother’s money cushioning my fall. I’ve got three degrees and a spine that didn’t come from fanon. I paid rent and filed taxes while half the fandom was still in their skater boy Gojo era. I’ve seen entire studios fall apart in silence because no one knew how to say “I need help.” So don’t tell me to “grow up” because I said a ship about two emotionally burnt-out men made sense. Some of us did grow up. And we still cry over the fact that Nanami died walking toward Gojo.

And lastly, since you came in anonymous, let's talk about that. Hiding behind anon to swing at someone unprovoked? That’s middle school behavior. Pull up with your name on. I won’t block—I’ll bake cookies. I love people who disagree. Just make it readable, not rabid.

So go ahead and stan SatoSugu. I do too. I’ve read the fanfics, cried over the break-up, mourned the baby names. But don’t bring your flimsy little pitchfork to my field and call it a crusade. Especially not when your whole argument is “stop liking things I don’t like.”

Let’s be real: You’re not mad I like Nanago. You’re mad I said something true about your ship—and it made you feel something ugly you didn’t want to sit with. And instead of processing that like a functional adult, you decided to go Anonymous Mode and bark into the void.

So here’s what we’re going to do: You’re gonna log out. You’re gonna touch some grass or maybe even cry into a Gojo plushie (I recommend the one with the blindfold; he won’t judge you). And I’m gonna keep writing essays that make people sob quietly at 3 a.m. and then reblog with tags like "this ruined my year."

Because that’s what I do. I write grief.

And guess what? I like my ships with a side of existential despair and unpaid therapy bills. I like them with bone-deep loneliness and mutual understanding you only get after everything else breaks.

If that offends you… You're not ready for adult shipping. Try the kid’s menu. I hear the angst is mild and the trauma comes with sprinkles.

TL;DR: You’re not mad I hate your ship—you’re mad I understand mine.

Next time, log in.

Or better yet, bring snacks. Some of us are grieving canon in peace.

Here's the post if anyone want's to fact check. I never get heated on tumblr but oh my god the straight up not even reading then straight up lying pissed me off, apologies to the rest for the long ass rant.

My high school Civic Techer was right, Common sense isn't super common and apparently so is some people's critical reasoning skills bc they have to put themselves in every fucking story they read and not once have empathy to see the character for it self.

THANK YOU FOR TAKING MY HATE COMMENT VIRGINITY ANON. HOPE IT HAUNTS YOU FOREVER.

[sicklyworm]

Hi yes I would like to hear your thoughts on Shang Qinghua and his characterization (both in canon and in fanfic). I've always really enjoyed the fics with the like,, BAMF!Shang Qinghua tag, but i also can't decide if his cowardice is an act or not, if that makes sense? Or if it's a bit of both.

Oh my gosh thank you for this ask. Please forgive me anon for the absolute rant that's about to happen because of it!!!

I'm going to break down this ask into chunks so properly and thoroughly answer every part of it!

Starting with,

SQH's cannon characterization:

I spent several hours trying to type out a good yet manageable description of his characterization but I found that no matter how hard I try it's a bit too long for a reasonable Tumblr post.

So instead of just ditching this like a normal person I instead started on a essay going over Shang Qinghua's characterization with quotes and analysis!

At the moment of posting it is not currently completed but I'll make sure to reblog this post with the link to the document once it's done!

Now moving on to,

SQH's characterization in fanfiction:

I'm an avid fanfiction reader myself so I see a plethora of different authors writing different arcs for SQH so obviously he's going to act differently in each one.

The thing I think makes or breaks alot of fanfiction with him is whether the author can properly distinguish between their voice and his. As a highly relatable character a lot of us writers can have a pretty hard time distinguishing him as a character from ourselves! When this happens writers can accidentally take bits and pieces of themselves that don't quite match up with him and kind of force them into the characterization of him!

There's also like the cases of hyperfeminization or character bashing but I feel like those are more of a generalized problem then something SQH specific.

Next is,

Is SQH actually a coward or was it just an act?

This question was one I wrestled with quite a bit when I was first starting to dissect his character.

He plays dead and grovels easily when he feels threatened yet displays tremendous courage when it has to do with MBJ. Whether it be saving MBJ from falling to his death or from MBJ'S own uncle, he is necessarily putting himself in danger just for the safety of someone else.

These behaviors by definition conflict with SQH being a coward but It still feels incomplete to just say "he's not a coward case closed." Because he does act incredibly pathetically at times and has betrayed quite a few people!

So after a bit more deliberation I came to the conclusion that "his coward status is determined by his personal connection towards the subject"

If the subject is not close to him or his heart then it is completely subjected to all of SQHs shady and cowardly tendencies. Even if the subject is kinda close to him I believe these cowardly behaviors will definitely cut back some but under enough threat he will ultimately choose his own personal safety.

But in the case he has a deep emotional connection to the subject he seems willing to show tremendous courage and bravery in order to protect said subject.

Example of this playing out in cannon is:

The Sect - low emotional attachment = full rat bastard mode.

Shen Yuan - mid emotional attachment = normal level of courage but will cave under pressure.

Mobei-jun - high motional attachment = huge levels of courage that won't cave under pressure.

✧✧✧

Extra:

My ADHD was going off the rails with this post so I have no idea how coherent it is.

Anyways i am also a big fan of the BAMF!SQH tag and would love if you dropped off some recommendations in my ask box!

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part twenty-seven

summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.4k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: omg we're coming up on the end i could cry :') i finished writing everything and i feel like a shell of a person rn without this fic to plan and write, but i hope you guys are excited! there will be five more parts after this and then the epilogue, which brings me to some really exciting news!!

big news #1: i'm opening oneshot requests for this series!! my normal requests will remain closed but i'd love to see what you guys want for the more of this series! (link is here!)

big news #2: the end of this story is opening the doors to my third coryo series which I've been working on for a hot minute, and it'll be called requiem! (see the original request for it here to get the vibes before i post anything!)

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

The protests caught you off guard, more than anything.

It had only been two weeks since you started your classes and you were loving them, but you hated getting dropped off in the morning and picked up in the afternoon. You and Coryo could no longer eat lunch outside, and the previously full lecture halls you had occupied saw more and more students dropping out as people stood outside just to shout at you as you came and went from the school four days a week. To call you an animal, that you don't belong there, that you should be "put down" for crimes against the Capitol. What they were? You had no idea.

Suffice to say, parents were not happy that you were there.

Generally, Coryo said that people had loved you in the games. You were "harmless", and "sweet", you gave them someone to root for- but now that you were walking freely among them instead of being kept behind the bars at the zoo or trapped inside the arena awaiting your death, you were suddenly a threat.

"They... they think I'll hurt someone?" You sniff, watery eyes overflowing as you look at Coryo lying beside you in his bed.

He bites his tongue, nodding as he wipes away your tears with the hand he has resting just under your cheek on top of his pillow. "They're afraid. That's all, it's not because of anything you did."

"I won't." You cry. "I would never, you know that, right?"

"I know, love. I know that." He promises you quietly.

"I don't want people to be afraid of me. It's not fair to them... If they feel unsafe I should just drop out."

"You're not doing that." He insists with a slight shake of his head. "We'll figure it out. Okay? Don't worry about them."

You just nod softly, wiping your eyes as he pushes his arm under your neck. "C'mere." He mumbles rolling onto his back and you move closer, laying your head on his chest as he pulls you closer to his side.

Coryo did figure it out, for the most part, which is how you ended up standing in Capitol TV's studios, awaiting an interview with Lucky Flickerman, someone you definitely thought you would never see again after the games. You didn't know how Coryo did it, who he had to talk to in order to convince them to let you plead your case so publicly. Apparently, the Snow name came with more power than you knew.

"You're gonna do great, love." Coryo whispers to you. "Just be yourself, but remember what I said about your essay, right? Be honest, but think about how you word things. I know you can do it." He assures you quietly, hands resting on your shoulders.

You nod, giving him a hopeful smile. "Thank you."

"I'll be right here, I'm not going anywhere." These types of reassurances were becoming less and less necessary over the month you've been here, but still, you don't like it when he's far, and he doesn't like it when he doesn't know where you are. It worked nicely for you both.

"Miss Y/L/N, whenever you're ready." One of the crew directs you, pointing to the comfortable chair they had set up in front of a homey-looking backdrop. It was fake, but it was meant to look like you were in someone's house. The idea of it was confusing to you, but you supposed it was also unimportant. You had much bigger concerns.

"Thank you." You smile at them and give Coryo another quick nod before making your way over to the seat that they said was yours.

Coryo watches as you carefully brush your hands over the front of your dress, smoothing it as you sit down. You looked so elegant as you did it, if he didn't know better, it looked like the habits of the people you were now surrounded with were rubbing off on you quickly. He had watched you rehearse how you would carry yourself and how you would speak and act with Tigris just this morning, after she fit you into the dress she had made for the occasion. Clearly, you had been paying attention.

When you draw your hair from your back and over your shoulder so your meticulously styled curls wouldn't be crushed against the chair, Coryo thinks he might need to sit down. Especially so when you look back at him again, subtly waving at him with your hand from where they are placed in your lap. The dress Tigris had given to you was red- a deep red silky material that complimented the red of his coat and mimicked the shade of the Capitol's flag but still had you standing out on your own. Seeing the way that dress fit you and hugged your form in all the right ways even as you were sitting, he was sure he had never been more grateful to his cousin and her talents.

"Y/N, it's so good to see you again." Lucky smiles at you as he sits down across from you, adjusting the small device attached to his lapel as crew members come up to you and fasten the same thing to the front and back of your dress.

"You as well." You grin, trying the best you can to mask your nervousness.

"Are you ready? Do you need anything?" He asks and you shake your head.

"I am ready whenever you are." You confirm, looking around as some more lights flick on, bright in your eyes as the man behind the camera starts counting down.

You look over at Coryo one last time and he nods at you. It was just like your first interview all over again- you had to sell yourself to the people. To prove that you were worth trusting.

"My name is Lucretius "Lucky" Flickerman," You smile as he flips a coin up into the air. You've seen him do it before, but you still weren't sure how the trick worked. "Amateur magician and your host for everything interesting on Capitol TV, and today is certainly no exception. Today, I have a familiar face with me who I know you will all recognize as well, the Victor of the Tenth Annual Hunger Games, Miss Y/N Y/L/N." He looks over at you and you keep your eyes on him, certain that all cameras are watching you now.

"Y/N, I am so happy to have you back. How have you been?" Lucky asks you and you're already fighting off the need to fidget with your hands.

"I am very well." You smile at him. "How about yourself? It has been a while."

"I'm great, thank you! You know, I was not allowed to bet on the games, but anyone who was there can tell you that I predicted your win from the beginning. You certainly are something else."

"Oh, well thank you." You giggle. "Though, I can't fully be credited for my win. I have to thank the sponsors who allowed Coriolanus to send me food and water. That made all the difference in my game."

"Oh, most definitely." He agrees. "But you shouldn't deny your own role in that. Hiding in the vents, that was genius!" Lucky claps. "Truly, that was a jaw-dropping moment for all of us watching. I remember thinking 'wow, how did she think of that?' It was incredible!"

"Yes, well, I saw the grate and knew it was worth a try." You shrug, slightly laughing. "I had nothing to lose."

"Yes, well, I'm dying to know- what have you been up to the last few months? You went back to Twelve, and then what?"

"Oh! Yes, I did. I've been spending time with friends and family, I got a job at the local library, catching up on some reading, that sort of thing." You grin, glancing at Coryo for only a moment and he gestures for you to continue. "I got home and I really realized for the first time how much we should be appreciating everything we have- even out in the Districts where sometimes life is tough, it's key to remember how privileged we are to be alive. The games were truly eye-opening for me."

Coryo gives you a quick nod of approval, and you smile, training your view back on the man across from you.

"Yes, I agree. Live life to the fullest, that's what they say." You just nod at his response. "Which also begs the question, if you were happy back in Twelve, what brought you back to the Capitol?"

Let the lies begin.

"Well," You laugh nervously. "When I was given the opportunity to come here for the games back in July, I was so interested in everything. The people who I got to talk to, the things I got to see, it was all amazing and I was just dying for more."

"So you decided to come study at the university here, is what I've heard."

"Yes, exactly." You grin. "I just think that the Capitol has so much to offer as far as education goes, I am already learning so much and I am having so much fun doing it."

"So really, your focus is just on your education." He prompts you and you nod.

"Definitely, considering the course load I don't have time for much else, but that doesn't really bother me. Like I said, I just want to learn from the greatest minds in the nation. Even the other students, it's amazing! Everyone has earned their spot there and I can see why and all the work they have put in to be there. It's a privilege to study among them, and I am so grateful that I was given this chance."

"You say 'all the work that they put in to be there', but you didn't attend the academy, so how is it that you were admitted?"

"I filled out the same application that all the other students did, I went through all the same testing." You confirm, nodding at him. "Although," You laugh slightly. "I was only given one day to complete it all. I was locked away in my room working on it all night. I hardly had time to blink, it was tough."

"Wow!" Lucky laughs. "One day? I remember when I applied to the university, my application took months to get just right. You must have aced it all."

"I am very proud of the work I did to be admitted, yes." You smile.

"From what I hear, you should be." He agrees. "So, you're really not in it for the sake of making friends."

"Well, I certainly would love to, but it is not my priority." You nod. "But, if any of my classmates are watching, I promise I am good at proofreading and if you need a second set of eyes on your papers, I'm happy to help. I'd also love to have more people to discuss our readings with." You joke, looking into the camera for the first time.

Lucky laughs. "You've heard it here, everyone. Y/N's pitch to make some friends!"

"Yes, I suppose it was." You chuckle, smiling at him.

"Now on the topic of friends while we're getting to know you better," You tilt your head at him while he begins the question, unsure where it is going. "Back home, do you have a boyfriend? Surely he must be missing you."

"No, not at home..." You laugh, catching in the corner of your eye as Coryo shakes his head at you, his face flat of emotion. "I don't have a boyfriend. Again, that's really just not where my priorities lie at the moment. I've... I've had a very busy year, you could say." You explain hesitantly.

"Wow! A beautiful girl like you?" You laugh nervously at his response. "Capitol boys! She's smart, pretty, and single. Just saying." He says, raising his hands.

You knew his job today was to help you, to make you more likable and more normal, to humanize you, but it was still uncomfortable to hear. "Oh, please." You laugh nervously, waving a hand at him. "Like I said, I'm just here to learn. I'm not after anyone's son."

"No? Not even all the handsome boys in your classes? I'm sure there are at least a few." He teases you and your cheeks flush red.

"I wouldn't know, I'm watching the lectures." You shrug jokingly.

Coryo is trying not to lose his mind while you talk about how single you are. Not that you were much of a willing participant, and to be fair he did tell you not to indicate to them that the two of you were together. You technically weren't, if he was being totally fair, but just because it hadn't been said doesn't mean it isn't real. He knew you knew that, though. So why was he getting so mad?

He doesn't even realize how little attention he was paying after that until you're standing up and shaking Lucky's hand. It was over, you'd done everything you could have to ease the minds of scared and angry Capitol parents.

Lucky gives you a quick hug, wishing you good luck in your classes before you're allowed to rejoin Coryo. "Ready to go?" He asks and you nod.

"How did I do?" You ask as you walk out of the studio and into the hall, aiming for the elevator to take you back to ground level.

"Amazing, love. You were perfect." Coryo confirms, still noticeably tense as he walks next to you.

"Are you sure?" You ask as he presses the button to call the car up to your level, unsure since he still hasn't really looked at you.

The door opens and you both step in. "Yes." He tells you again, quickly tapping the door close button.

"Oh, good. I was really nervous..." You laugh slightly as the doors slide shut, and as soon as any light from the hall ceases to enter the elevator his hands are on you and his lips are pressed against yours.

You let out the slightest squeak out of shock, but quickly relax as Coryo rubs familiar small circles on your hips with his thumbs. How he could be so gentle as he backs you into the wall of the elevator you don't know, but you're grateful for it as you hum into his mouth. But still, something was different.

Spending so much time with you only made him want you more. He loved you, he knew that, and someplace deep in the corners of his mind, he had always wanted you in a way he never thought possible when he first fell for you before the games. Now, with you curled up under his sheets almost every night, seeing you step out of the bathroom with damp hair after a shower in pyjamas that don't fit you quite right, he thought about it more than ever. Thoughts of you plagued him more than usual, and the best way to describe the accompanying feeling was guilt. Guilt that he couldn't show you off given the circumstances- at least not yet.

He trails his kisses away from your lips and across your jaw, pulling you tighter against him. "You're so beautiful, my love..." He mumbles into the skin just below your ear, leaving a kiss in his wake that has your head spinning.

You giggle, eyes fluttering open. "What has gotten into you?" You ask, hands sliding up over his chest to rest on his shoulders.

"I can't tell my girlfriend that I think she's gorgeous?" He asks, shaking his head slightly as he looks down into your eyes.

"Oh, so I am your girlfriend." You giggle and he nods, kissing you again.

"Of course you are, and don't forget it." He chuckles, pulling back from you as the elevator stops moving, waiting for the doors to open.

Your skin is flushed down to your chest as the doors slide apart and even though he's not touching you anymore, you can feel the ghost of his hands on you. You look up at him, a lingering smirk still on his face as he looks straight ahead and leads you out of the car.

The phone rang at the time you were eating dinner, and you quickly asked if you could be excused to go answer it. Coryo and Tigris both just nodded at you, but you could still feel their grandmother's eyes burning into your back as you quickly walked away. She still wasn't fond of you, but she tolerated you. For now, that was just enough.

You grab the phone off the receiver as the small round screen flickers to life. "Hello?" You answer, hopeful that it would finally be your family you see on the other side.

You had answered every call that came to the Snow's apartment for weeks, waiting anxiously to hear their voices again.

"Y/N, is that you, honey?"

You gasp with excitement when you get a clear enough view of your ma. "Ma! Hi!" You smile, leaning in a little closer to get a more clear view as the camera on their end begins to adjust. This was likely the first time it was being used.

"Oh, honey, how good it is to see you!" She smiles, and out of nowhere, you feel hot tears welling up in your eyes.

"You too, Ma." You nod, biting into your lower lip. You didn't want to cry so quickly into the call. "How are you? How's everything at home?"

"Same old." She shakes her head with a slight laugh. "I'm much more interested in you- how is everything? How is school? And how is Tybalt settling in? How are you settling in? My goodness, I just have so many questions!"

You laugh, quickly wiping a stray tear. You had told them about all of this in letters, of course, but she just wanted to hear you say it all. "Everything is good. School has been so lovely, Coryo walks me to all my classes and we eat lunch together between. And Tybalt just loves it here! They have a garden on the roof, and I take him up there as often as I can. Tigris won't stop giving him treats either so he couldn't be happier."

You look down at the animal as he brushes against your leg, looking up at you.

"That's amazing. I've been so worried, it's just so good to see your face again. God, we've been missin' you..."

"I miss you too." You agree, careful not to choke on your tears. "How is Len? And have you seen Lucy Gray and the Covey?"

"He's... He's doing alright." Your mother looks off-screen, and you assume he must be there. The look on her face, one of nervousness and hesitation tells you he doesn't want to speak to you. "But Lucy Gray has been around every day, she and Maude Ivory come over and they help me with hanging the laundry and such... It's been good to have them around."

You smile sadly, nodding slightly with the receiver pressed to your ear. You felt bad about that aspect of leaving- you spent as much time as you could before the games helping out around the house, but even in the summer when you came back you weren't much help. Your mother wouldn't let you do dishes all summer, for fear that the sight of a knife might set you off. She knew you came back a different person, and she wasn't taking any risks. All she really allowed you to do was hang laundry and "keep her company" while she did other home chores. But now, she didn't even have that.

"Can I speak to him?" You ask, referring to your brother who you knew was there.

She nods, waving off camera and holding her hand over the wrong part of the phone. "Lennox, come over here. Y/N wants to talk to you."

His response is muffled, but you make out the gist of it. 'I don't want to talk to her'.

"She's your sister, Lennox. You can't ignore her forever."

'If she wants to talk, she should come home.'

Your heart clenches in your chest and you chew your lip. You have to pretend you couldn't hear, but you just felt so horribly guilty. You shouldn't have left, but he doesn't understand you had no choice. He wouldn't be able to understand until you could come home and see him again, likely not until the summer. Coryo had told you to be mindful of what you write in letters and what you say on the phone, it's possible others were listening. The Capitol was always listening.

"He's just a little busy right now, honey." She smiles at you, but you can see right through it. "But tell me about your day! Did you have class?"

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs, @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @strawberryflavouredkisses, @cascadingbliss

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[ballroomeddie]

Get to know your mutuals

tagged by @livesbetweenpages. thanks for tagging me 🫶

1. You get $100 to go thrift shopping. What are you buying and why?

under normal circumstances i’d say, a cool mirror and a few lamps (some art if the budget allows for it). why? i have a few full length mirrors but i want something smaller (with an interesting frame or some other fun feature) to hang in my living room. as for lamps, i’m just a lamp guy; a lamp enjoyer, if thou wilt

that said, i’ll be moving soon so i’m actually trying to get rid of stuff. so, idk. i guess i’d hold on to that $100 for now

2. What's a song you could listen to dozens of times in a row and not get bored?

this is how i listen to music tbh. i usually have the same song on repeat for days/weeks til’ my brain latches onto smth new

an underrated gem that i return to time and time again is,--walk with me here--the theme song to the 2002-2006 cartoon What's New, Scooby-Doo?, performed by simple plan. i’m super serious abt this. it’s a pop punk anthem and i luv it

an evergreen banger that’s less underrated but that i, nevertheless, return to on the reg is, the fugees cover of killing me softly

currently, i have In My Bag by FLO (feat. GloRilla) on rotation

3. What's a decade you really like music from?

bob marley and the wailers is my fave band of all time and most of their best stuff is from the 70s. that said, i have eclectic taste so idk if i can narrow it down to one decade

4. What's your dream hair?

don’t think i have dream hair. i prefer to switch things up. i get bored if i have the same hair style for more than 6 months

5. What's a chore you actually like doing that surprises people?

hanging clothes, big fan of clothes hanging and closet organizing. i hang most of my clothes (instead of folding) and i have A System. i enjoy putting clothes in their rightful place so that i can revel in my System in it’s full, type and color coded, glory 

6. Do you fidget? How, or with what?

yes. i tend to fidget with my hair (when it’s not buzzed short). i’ll also fidget with a tube of lip balm or lip gloss if i have one at hand

7. Tell me about a current hyperfixation of yours.

i fall into random research holes sometimes. my current pet research topic is copaganda in film and television. been reading a lot abt it, and i might just fuck around and write a mini essay on copaganda in 911. idk maybe

8. What's your favourite animated movie or TV series?

tough one. i don’t watch a lot of animated stuff. but bojack horseman, arcane and the owl house stand out from the little that i have seen

favorite cartoons as a kid were, avatar: the last airbender, x-men: evolution, totally spies and this french cartoon called code lyoko (iykyk)

9. If you were forced to lose one of your five senses, which one would you choose

i have terrible vision, i’m lowkey face blind and i probably have a mild to moderate case of aphantasia. since my eyes aren’t doing much for me as it is, i’d probably go ahead and get rid of my vision

10. What makes you feel put together? What makes you feel like you have your life in order? You know, that thing that makes you go, okay yeah no I got this.

semi-truthful answer: i’m big on community. fostering cool relationships and practicing philosophies that are conducive to a healthy community makes me feel like i have my life in order

real but boring (and political) answer: i’m not put together, i don’t have my life in order and i don’t feel like i’m put together, nor that i have my life in order. being mindful of the fact that being ‘’put together’’ and having ‘’one’s life in order’’ are capitalist (and white supremacist if we’re being real abt it) notions that are detrimental to the average person’s well-being; notions that IIIII don’t, personally, vibe with, makes me feel like i/we got this

Bonus question: For Star Wars fans, who is your favourite Jedi and why?

not a huge star wars fan but i have an answer. mace windu. cause he’s black (like me 😊) and bc he has a purple lightsaber. the purple lightsaber is the main draw tbh

tagging: @sadgayeddie @tanktopdiaz @everybuddiewantssome @809eddie @wenttotheairport @kindlingtotheflames @agnes-nielsens @thebloodysmut and every single mutual. i'm nosy

[nickel156]

How are you this stupid? 😭 like, you are NOT the critical thinker you believe yourself to be with these assumptions and one-sided arguments. I have said absolutely nothing about my alleged undying love for rhysand. Meanwhile, you're clearly running some tamlin defense squad - which he is not interesting or redeemable enough as a character to warrant all that, but that's beside the point. You write a whole ass paragraph with talking points you pulled out of your ass, instead of my mouth. You're fighting opinions that i never even expressed lmaooo. You take yourself way too serious for someone who argues with imaginary adversaries. I peruse the acotar tags occasionally for fan art and I simply noticed that every tamlin stan I come across is incredibly disingenuous and hypocritical. Dassit. I don't even feel that strongly about him.

Oh, you’re still here? How cute.

Let me guess—you’re desperately trying to convince yourself (and me) that you’re not invested. Yet here you are, back again, writing full essays in my inbox. But sure, tell me more about how you “occasionally peruse the fandom for fan art” and don’t actually care about any of this. We both know if that were true, you wouldn’t be taking the time to engage with me at all, but hey, keep telling yourself whatever helps you sleep at night.

It’s honestly adorable how hard you’re trying to paint this as me fighting imaginary battles. I’m not the one dropping paragraphs in someone else’s inbox anonymously, pretending not to be affected. You’re clearly here for a reason, and it’s definitely not just for the fan art. It’s almost like you need to prove something, but the more you type, the more obvious it becomes that you’re really just pressed. It’s okay, we all have our moments.

As for Tamlin—whether he’s “redeemable” or “interesting” is entirely subjective, and guess what? I’m allowed to have an opinion that doesn’t align with your pre-approved list of acceptable character takes. Shocking, I know. But you’re still here trying to undermine my opinions while simultaneously pretending like you’re unbothered. Again, cute.

But seriously, thanks for the entertainment. I do love seeing how much effort people put into “not caring.”

[wei-ying-kexing-apologist]

WKA's 2024 Tumblr Top 10

I was tagged in this game by @lurkingshan did it on my phone and therefore did not spend a lot of time making it look nice. But since I was just tagged in this again by @telomeke I figured I'd take advantage of the edit feature to zhuzh it up a little bit. So!

1. PhayaTharn's Informative Morning- 441 notes - Jan 3 2024

gif by @firstmix

I am so lucky that I love writing essays and that I do not do it for the notes or the clout, because this post took me like two seconds to create and was my most popular of the year.

2. Feelings Made Visible: Design Choices in The Sign essay- 409 notes - Jan 5 2024

gif by @thisautistic

I am so sad about the trajectory of my enjoyment of The Sign because I was having fun writing essays about it at the beginning. But by the end I was strongly contemplating writing a fix-it fic, though I quickly decided I did not have the brain space to write that whole thing out. ANYWAY...I really enjoyed writing this essay because lighting is my favorite part of theater performances and something I really love seeing and talking about in all visual mediums, but I have far fewer opportunities to do so in television because a lot of the time the lighting is more dedicated to looking realistic. The Sign gave me the opportunity to talk about lighting choices for the first time in forever.

3. Symptoms of a Systems Error essay- 399 notes - Feb 2 2024

gif by @dramascene

ALL THESE END OF YEAR POSTS ARE REMINDING ME THAT @lurkingshan AND I OWE THIS SHOW THE RE-WATCH WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO DO. I was definitely a little skeptical going in to this show about the premise of this man being in a video game, but it had one of the smartest uses of that setting I've seen and I really enjoyed all the subtle ways that they used the world around them to deepen the story at hand and I'm really glad so many people seemed to enjoy this essay as well!

4. Episode 10: The Couch essay- 353 notes - Apr 21 2024

Here is a great example of @lurkingshan demonstrating that I can and will take essay requests for shows I am watching. I cannot begin to explain in words the chokehold this show had on me, so hopefully ya'll will just see the fact that I wrote ten essays about only six episodes of this show as evidence of how much back rent this show owes me for living in my head. I LOVE MICROEXPRESSIONS AND CHRIS CHU DID SUCH A PHENOMENAL GODDAMN JOB WITH HIS PORTRAYAL OF WEI QIAN AND I NEED TO SCREAM THAT FROM THE HEAVENS AT EVERY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY~

5. Parallels in Unknown Episode 9 essay- 329 notes - Apr 14 2024

gif by @ueasking

It appears like Unknown fever was taking hold of a hell of a lot of us on this website considering that literally half of my most popular posts of 2024 were from this show. I think a really important aspect of this show and why I enjoyed it so much was that it was really taking its time demonstrating how much history Wei Qian has to overcome in order to take on that mental shift of viewing Wei Zi Yuan as a romantic partner instead of as his brother. Which is why I was so sad that they fucked up the sex scene in Ep 11 and did not spend as much time as they really should have cementing Qian's shifted feelings after the confrontation at the stairs at the end of Episode 10. EITHER WAY I do think the use of parallels was a really smart way of showing that recontextualization.

6. Fantasy v. Reality: The Sign Episode 7 essay- 328 notes - Jan 8 2024

I am such a huge proponent of talking about sex scenes in television not only because they are enjoyable to watch but because they are choreographed scenes that take a lot of planning and a lot of work and I think it is important to be able to see and approach conversations around intimacy on screen in such a way. Getting a chance to write about how the sex scene in episode 7 merged Phaya and Tharn's fantasies and also their lighting cues was really fun! I hope that 2025 grants me enough energy to get back on the essay writing wagon in full force because I miss doing it but also have felt incredibly uninspired by a lot of what I've seen in the BL sector the last couple months.

7. LOSING MY MIND OVER UNKNOWN EPISODE 8 essay- 284 notes - Apr 10 2024

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

So sorry to you, Wei Qian, but unfortunately you sent your brother to America in hopes he would lose interest in you and instead he came back a menace!

8. Top Five "Oh" Moments ask- 282 notes - Jan 15 2024

let this be a lesson folks that it is a-okay to ask questions if you have them. I love getting asks and I know a lot of my mutuals do as well! I really loved getting this question and being allowed to talk about my top five!

9. Unknown Episode 7 Brain Rot Moments essay- 281 notes - Apr 1 2024

Going back through these posts is fun for me because I really like seeing the different ways I have engaged in media analysis and commentary. This time it was literally just a bullet-pointed list of things that I knew were making me chew glass about this show and I still loved writing it!

10. Unknown, Ep 10: Qian and Yuan- 166 notes - Apr 26 2024

Yippe! A good old fashioned Captain Hands Scene Breakdown what a time I had!

Created by TumblrTop10

I will tag @aeternallis and @kangarew-tail-7 in this, obviously you are under no obligation to participate if you do not wish to!

[propheciesofdoomzine]

Updated Prophecies of Doom Masterpost

Submissions for Volume 1 of the Prophecies of Doom fandom anthology are now closed. Submissions for Volume 2 will close on December 1st, 2025 at 11:59 pm CST/UTC-6. Submissions for Volume 3 will open on December 2nd, 2025 at 12:00 am CST/UTC-6.

Submissions guidelines are as follows:

All subjects welcome as long as they are appropriately tagged. Please include whether the work can be considered NSFW and if so what content warnings apply, including but not limited to: nudity, sex, violence, gore, blood, kinks or fetishes. Additional tags may be added with the artist’s approval.

Writing including ficlets, fic excerpts, essays, commentary, poetry, song lyrics, or other writing. The word limit will not apply to future volumes but please do not submit entire multi-chapter fics.

Visual art in digital format to be printed at 3.5" x 4.5"/9 cm x 11.5 cm or smaller. This may include drawings, sketches, memes, photographs of crafts or cosplay, or others subject to approval.

Submissions not fitting any of the above categories may be accepted, such as sheet music, craft tutorials, digital or physical merch or extras, and others subject to approval.

Email your submission to propheciesofdoomzine@yahoo.com with the title of your submission, what name you would like to be credited as, and NSFW labels and content warnings if applicable. Any changes made to submissions will be subject to approval, so keep an eye out for followup emails. If you cannot be reached, your piece may be excluded.

If you would like to participate in a collaborative piece for the zine those are as follows:

A yearbook style page of original characters: Submit a picture of your original character (think school portrait, but feel free to make it silly) with their name, relationship to Astor, your name and/or what fic or AU they’re from, and a senior quote or superlative (optional). Self insert and selfship characters welcome. You may submit your original character without a drawing.

A yearbook style page of your versions of Astor with the above information. All Astors welcome. You may also submit your Astor without a drawing.

An essay on Astor memes and shitposts. Submit your favorite fandom jokes for an essay on the history of the Astor fandom. Include where you were when it happened, how you participated, screenshots of posts, or simply what goofs and sillies you feel are important to our history.

Ideas for future collaborative pieces subject to approval.

The full, digital version of the zine will be available online for free. Curated and/or printed versions will be extras and not contain additional material in the zine itself. There will be a safe for work version of the zine. NSFW pieces will not be censored, but excluded. If you would like to submit a censored version of your piece to be included in safe for work versions of the zine alongside the uncensored version you may, or else your piece will not appear in the safe for work versions.

FAQ under the cut

Q: Are submissions open indefinitely? A: Essentially, yes. Regular updates will come out after Astorvember every year as long as submissions continue to come in.

Q: Can I submit digital submissions such as videos and gifs? A: Yes, tentatively. The full, free version of the zine will be published as a PDF, and I may be able to embed gifs, videos, or hyperlinks. Digital extras outside of the main zine were always welcome as a category of submission, so go ahead and submit them. If you want these submissions to be included in the physical zine, please include a thumbnail and summary.

Q: How many submissions are you looking for? A: As many as y'all got! No limit, go wild.

Q: Can I submit more than one piece? A: Submit as many pieces as you want. Seriously, no limit.

Q: Who can submit works? A: Anyone! Submissions are very specifically and intentionally open to anyone and everyone instead of taking applications and selecting artists to create a piece specifically for the zine.

Q: Can I submit works I’ve already posted? A: Yes, this zine is intended to be a collection and celebration of the last four years of the fandom. All works are welcome, no matter how old they are or how many people have seen them. This also very much includes pieces from this or last year’s Astorvember.

Q: Can I post the piece I submitted? A: Yes, if you want. You can post it, say it was submitted to the zine, post it and don’t say it was submitted, or keep the whole thing secret. You can change your mind and post it after submissions close, before the zine is released, whatever you want.

Q: Will there be physical merch? A: Possibly, still working out logistics. Proposals for physical merch are one of the categories of submissions, email propheciesofdoomzine@yahoo.com with ideas for things like pins, stickers, keychains, etc. Handmade items are welcome and encouraged if you have the time!

Q: I still have a question. A: Send me an ask, a message, email the submissions email, send a flock of birds to follow me around, reach me in my dreams, whatever. If you need something clarified or reiterated, go ahead and ask. If you’re unsure about your submission, go ahead and ask. If there’s a secret third thing, go ahead and ask.

[kitkat-the-muffin]

KNOCK KNOCK *kicks down your door* time to talk about Cloutchase Vol 5!

Be sure to check out the previous installments: [1][2][3][4]

Good evening Tumblr! It took two days to play through Volume 5 this time because my friends and I also read through Discord's Holiday Party and the bonus room. I'll make a separate post about the former soon, and I will link it here once it's done. BUT LETS LOOK AT THE MAIN GAME FIRST!

Here are your usual two screenshots for enticement:

Remember to play the game yourself before clicking the Read More!

I, of course, played this with my usual friend, who I will simply refer to as Ams. I play through all the routes with her and it's been a genuine delight. I was also joined by my other friend, who I will call Knight. I have posted about him in the Cloutchase tag before, as I have used two of his messages as meme material for both Ao3 and Wikipedia. Thus, he has voiced both of them in this week's playthrough hahah

I immediately noticed right off the bat that Ao3's books are stacked in the colors of the Homestuck troll blood colors. Rust, Bronze, Gold, Lime, Olive, Jade, Teal, Cerulean, Indigo, Purple, Violet, and Fuchsia. There's probably a Candy Red beneath his palms as well. I understood that reference. Anyway, I absolutely love his gimmick of having tropes follow him around, that feels like both a dream and a nightmare. We all love reading fic but we never wanna live it

I wanted to include this photo cause I just love the art. Angst angst angst angst angst! But also dang User got some sick canines wtf-

This line made me have to explain Troll Jegus to my non-homestuck friends, how freaking dare you. Ams got it faster than Knight though, he's very slow on the uptake-

I know I put this image in the post already but I just have to say, Ams and I saw this and were like "oh noooooooooooooooooooooo" and Knight was a clueless bystander who has never read fanfic in his life and sat there like "E for Everyone :3" the poor soul

I absolutely love how eloquent Ao3 speaks and writes. I know not all fics are as fancy as this, but I greatly relate to writing with all my LA class lessons in mind. Also, I think this is Imgur's first actual sprite appearance, so that's neat! I could be wrong though, I don't remember if User has even properly met her before. Ao3's writing sprite is so cute btw

Love the new Kik characterization too. This may be fic, but I bet it's canon (delusional). WAIT IS THAT HATSUNE MIKU-

By far the best introduction of any character so far. If you've seen any of my posts with Knight in them, you know he was DELIGHTED to see this (his username on the Cloutchase Discord server is literally "Wikipedia Firearms Broker"). He did however complain that this gun does not have a scope, or something idr

Hahah uh how did he know the grid is my laptop wallpaper- (it's been my wallpaper for like two years now lol, or whenever this screenshot was made available to me)

Very ominous Fandom, love to see it. I will admit, I used both Wiki and Fandom to find resources for my final essay this past semester. I just used them to find sources not as sources I promise- uh anyway this character design slaps and I love evil old women

When Knight read out Wiki's dialogue, he actually said the full name of the gun out loud instead of just "AR-15." I'd type it here but I don't remember it, I was not blessed with the firearm hyperfixation like he. Anyway when Quotev asked what our favorite emoticon was all of us said colon three. Quotev is amazing here btw, she was a highlight of the route for me

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE-

ON AJ'S BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@applejuiceyjuice-art get clocked /j (lmk if u want me to remove the @)

AM I MS. BLOG RUNNER'S SECRET LOVE CHILD??????

Okay so after getting all of Wiki's endings I went back to see if the board changed AND IT DID and that was by far the FUNNIEST thing of the entire route. Makes me wonder if all the other route bad ends are also supposed to be here or not

Last thing I wanna put here, AJ you gotta show me ur sims cloutchase house I would like to witness the chaos. Also, there's a lot more devs in the dev room! That's so nice to see, I'm glad ur team is growing!

Sorry that I haven't been very active in the community, college has been kicking my butt and all that, but you guys are genuinely doing a great job and I love playing this game with my friends! Heck, this game even saved my friend's life because she agreed to play Instagram's route with me the day she was considering ending herself, so thank you for that, too

I'm super interested in how the Admin lore is going to play out in future volumes, as well as being able to meet more sites! I'd say Wiki's was my favorite of this volume because of the ARG-type vibes (well, not really an ARG, more like conspiracy hunting iykwim), but I loved Ao3's fanfiction writing activity and read through all 8 stories with my friends together :3

Like I said at the top of the post, we also played Discord's holiday party, so I'll make a smaller post about that later. It'll be linked at the top when it's done, but if I remember I'll put it down here too

The bonus room heavily implied that 4Chan's route is being replaced with Pinterest, and I can only assume it's because of the recent website crash. I still hope to get a 4Chan route in the future, though, but that's all for now!

Thanks for reading, and I'll see you all in the next one!

[mcrdvcks]

i loved your peter parker writing aaaa could you share every of your ideas or headcannons about peter dating stark’s daughter because that’s soooo cool

i had to physically stop myself from writing a 10 page essay on peter parker x stark!reader because i am the leader of that fanclub.

send an ask for my 2,000 followers celebration!

warnings/tags: stark!reader, peter is adorable and awkward, flufffff

For this, I’m going to say that the Avengers are a big happy family and Tony and Natasha aren’t dead because Endgame didn’t happen.

Okay, now that we have that out of the way…

The first time Peter meets you, he almost dies. Not in a mission. Not from a villain. From embarrassment. Because you walked into the common room wearing an Empire Strikes Back shirt and he short-circuited. He almost said “I love you” before you even introduced yourself. Almost. He thinks about it every day.

You’re Tony’s daughter. That alone terrifies him. But you’re also smart, snarky, ridiculously pretty, and somehow nice to him? He panics. A lot. Sam teases him about it constantly. Natasha doesn’t say a word—but she watches him with a very intense “hurt her and vanish” kind of stare.

You bond instantly over nerdy things. Star Wars marathons. Building Lego sets. Competitive Mario Kart nights (he wins, you throw a pillow at him, he thinks about it for the rest of the week).

Peter is so, so obvious. He blushes when you laugh at his jokes. He tries to impress you with science facts. He once nearly walked into a wall because you smiled at him in the hallway. Tony notices. Tony absolutely notices.

Tony is deeply skeptical at first. “Spider-Boy? Really?” “It’s Spider-Man, actually—sir. Mr. Stark. Uh—Tony. No, I mean yes, sir—”

You immediately started teasing Peter the second you realized he was crushing on you. “Hey, Spider-Boy. You always blush this hard when someone compliments your webbing?” He short-circuited. Nat cackled in the background.

When Peter finally confesses, it’s clumsy and fast and heartfelt. “I—I like you. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. You’re smart and kind and you make fun of me in ways that make me feel loved and—and you’re you and—” You kiss him. He forgets his own name.

You two get caught sneaking around the Compound constantly. Tony installed ten extra cameras. Natasha disabled all ten. “She’s got taste, Stark,” Nat told him, sipping her coffee. “Could’ve picked some idiot in LA. Instead she went for the one with a conscience.”

But eventually, Tony softens. Because he sees the way Peter looks at you—like you hung the damn stars. And he sees the way you look back. So Tony gives Peter the Talk. It lasts exactly 41 minutes and includes the phrases:

“If you hurt her, I will build a satellite laser and name it after you—then fire it at you.”

“Do you know what emotional damage looks like under a microscope? I do.”

“Say ‘yes sir’ one more time and I’m revoking your suit.” Peter sits through all of it nodding like a scared golden retriever.

You love teasing him. “What’s the matter, Parker? Web-fluid low or just distracted by greatness?”

You go full nerd together.

Rewatch Rogue One and cry every time.

Stay up late building a Millennium Falcon Lego set while sipping juice boxes like 5th graders.

Battle each other in Smash Bros. and nearly break the couch when you tackle him after a win. It’s the kind of love that makes your cheeks hurt from smiling.

Tony sees it all. The way Peter looks at you like you're the last miracle in the world. The way you rest your head on his shoulder like you trust him. And yeah, Tony's terrified. But he's also… proud. Because Peter’s exactly the kind of person he hoped you'd love one day.

Peter is constantly trying to impress you. You offhandedly mention you like galaxies? He makes you a custom mini star projector. You say you’re hungry? He learns to make your favorite snack from scratch. One time he almost passed out from dehydration during a mission because he gave you his water bottle.

You steal Peter’s hoodies. All of them. He never complains, but every time you wear one, he short-circuits a little. “You know, that was my favorite—wait, never mind. You look really cute. Carry on.”

You and Peter share one of those dumb secret handshakes. No one else understands it. Sam tries to mimic it once. Breaks a lamp.

Peter’s phone background is a photo of you asleep on his shoulder during a movie. He stares at it at least once a day. When he’s stressed. When he misses you. When Ned catches him zoning out and yells, “Dude, that’s the tenth time today.”

Tony absolutely spies on your dates at first. Security footage. Audio logs. Probably a drone or two. You find the feed. Change it so it plays Shrek 2 on loop. Tony doesn’t speak to you for 48 hours. Peter buys you flowers out of sheer awe.

When he’s overwhelmed, he goes straight to you. Doesn’t even have to say anything. Just puts his head in your lap, mumbles, “Too much.” You run your fingers through his curls and hum Star Wars music softly until he settles.

You and Peter prank the other Avengers constantly. Replaced Sam’s Redwing with a drone shaped like a duck. Programmed FRIDAY to refer to Bucky as “Captain Eyeliner.” Once convinced Clint that the Compound was haunted using Bluetooth speakers and spooky whispers.

Peter memorized your laugh. He knows exactly what kind of jokes earn the snort. Which shows get the wheeze. He collects them like rare treasure. Stores them behind his ribs where it’s safe.

[drawing-dinos82]

The demons compelled me to write an essay explaining why I think that Victor Frankenstein is autistic.

(Essay below the cut, or just read it on AO3)

Frankenstein through an autistic lens (2145 words) by Dragon_Shark28 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Frankenstein - Mary Shelley, Lisa Frankenstein (2024) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Henry Clerval & Victor Frankenstein & Elizabeth Lavenza, Victor Frankenstein & Frankenstein's Creature Characters: Victor Frankenstein, Frankenstein's Creature, Henry Clerval, Elizabeth Lavenza Additional Tags: Essays, Autistic Victor Frankenstein, i wrote this in the span of two days, the demons compelled me Summary: A behavioral analysis I wrote on why the character of Victor Frankenstein most likely has autism spectrum disorder (the man named Victor Frankenstein has been consuming my life and he definitely is a bit silly and most of his behavior can be explained with autism!)

Frankenstein Vs. Autism

Narcissistic, selfish, immoral. These are all words commonly used to describe Victor Frankenstein but they are also used to describe autistic people. Autism is common, much more than many people think. Most people know someone with the condition personally, a friend, family member, classmate, or figure in their life. Many people assume that they can immediately tell if someone is autistic but this is far from the truth. Autistic people do something called ‘masking’ - a trait that is prevalent across the neurodivergent family. Masking is the adoption of social practices, such as eye contact, facial expressions, and speaking when expected, to name a few. 2.2% of people in the U.S. are diagnosed, but the number is certainly much higher because of gender bias and lack of access to resources. Frankenstein by Mary Shelly is a heavily debated book in classic horror literature. Whether people are discussing how it could be an allegory for teen pregnancy or the similarities between the creature and titular character as the book progresses, chances are his neurodivergent traits will be mentioned, even if that isn’t what they are identified as. Many people use these reasons to dislike Victor since many of his behaviors are seen as odd or socially rude. Victor shows many traits of autism throughout the book, both internally and externally. 

A special interest is a longtime obsession that most autistic people have, such as Pokèmon or human anatomy/injury to name an example. Victor speaks about his childhood, “My temper was sometimes violent, and my passions vehement; but by some law in my temperature they were turned not towards childish pursuits but to an eager desire to learn, and not to learn all things indiscriminately…It was the secrets of heaven and earth that I desired to learn; and whether it was the outward substance of things or the inner spirit of nature and the mysterious soul of man that occupied me, still my inquiries were directed to the metaphysical, or in it highest sense, the physical secrets of the world” (Shelly 23). Some people will attempt to learn everything they can about their special interest while others are content just vibing along and collecting objects or things that relate to it. Victor falls into the former category, adoring chemistry and biology - perhaps to an unhealthy level. He longs to learn of these topics instead of playing like his peers do, causing him to not have many friends. While similar to a hyperfixation, a special interest can last months or often years. When speaking about his university days, Victor says,”From this day natural philosophy, and particularly chemistry, in the most comprehensive sense of the term, became nearly my sole occupation. I read with ardour those works, so full of genius and discrimination, which modern inquirers have written on these subjects. I attended the lectures and cultivated the acquaintance of the men of science of the university…My application was at first fluctuating and uncertain; it gained strength as I proceeded and soon became so ardent and eager that the stars often disappeared in the light of morning whilst I was yet engaged in my laboratory” (Shelly 37). Victor quite obviously loves chemistry more than anything else in the world. He goes to every lecture and class that the University of Ingolstadt hosts. 

Autistic people often have issues connecting to other people on an emotional level. After he returns home from Ingolstadt, he says, “Ernest began to weep as he said these words. “Do not,” said I, “welcome me thus; try to be more calm, that I may not be absolutely miserable the moment I enter my father’s house after so long an absence” (Shelly 48). Ernest just lost his brother whom he was very close to. He was playing with William when he ran away and was murdered and certainly blames himself for it. Victor is unable to understand the cause of his brother’s distress and is only frustrated because it causes him to become upset as well. 

Low empathy often causes people to find their own emotions and desires more important than others’. When Victor goes to visit the condemned Justine, he states, “During this conversation I had retired to a corner of the prison room, where I could conceal the horrid anguish that possessed me. Despair! Who dared talk of that? The poor victim, who on the morrow was to pass the awful boundary between life and death, felt not, as I did, such deep and bitter agony” (Shelly 74). He is extremely upset by his inner turmoil because of how his younger brother Ernest died since their servant Justine has been burdened with the blame of the crime and shall soon be put to death. He can’t relate to her struggle and pain because he doesn’t believe that it can compare to his. The knowledge that his creation killed his younger brother but he can’t tell anyone for fear of being called crazy weighs heavily on him.

Many people with autism have difficulty making friends or simply choose not to. When Victor is speaking about his childhood, he says, “It was my temper to avoid a crowd and to attach myself fervently to a few. I was indifferent, there-fore, to my school-fellows in general” (Shelly 23). Most neurotypical children easily form bonds with their peers because they understand how they’re supposed to act but neurodivergent children often have more difficulty with this process because they may act or speak in a way that repels people. Victor has no desire to form friendships with children his age because he can’t connect with them, as he says “It was my temper” (Shelly 23). His passion for science isn’t something that most children his age share.

However, when autistic people do choose to form friendships, they often connect in a very deep way, forming strong emotional bonds.Victor also mentions, “But I united myself in the bonds of the closest friendship to one among them. Henry Clerval was the son of a merchant of Geneva” (Shelly 23). The behavior of choosing one or two people to attach themself to is common for autistic people, since it can help them mask better. Victor chooses someone who matches his freak, albeit in a different direction. While Victor obsesses over science, Henry desires to become a name in history - a heroic figure. 

Many autistic people hyperfixation on one thing - depriving themself of self-care and anything besides their topic of focus until their obsession has run its course. When Victor talks about creating the creature, he says,”I pursued my undertaking with unremitting ardour. My cheek had grown pale with study, and my person had become emaciated with confinement…Winter, spring, and summer passed away during my labours; but I did not watch the blossom or the expanding leaves sights which before always yielded me supreme delight so deeply was I engrossed in my occupation” (Shelly 40-42). Victor sets his sights on creating a race of beings invulnerable to disease and death and he’ll be damned if that isn’t what he does. He deprives himself of health and company so he can finish his experiment, certainly without realizing the effects on his body until later.  When their brain gets bored of their fixation, people will often feel disgust or distress at their topic they so strongly fixated on such as Victor’s anger at his creation. When the creature comes to life, Victor says, “Whom with such infinite pains and care I had endeavoured to form…I had worked hard for nearly two years, for the sole purpose of infusing life into an inanimate body. For this I had deprived myself of rest and health. I had desired it with an ardour that far exceeded moderation; but now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart” (Shelly 43). The Creature no longer tickles his brain in a way that feels good, added by the disappointment of not executing him to the expectation he held. He expected one thing and when that expectation wasn’t met, he couldn’t fit it properly into the reality he knew. 

Autistic people often have a difficult time understanding sarcasm, even if they can wield it themself. In the first chapter of the book, Victor says, “She presented Elizabeth to me as her promised gift, I, with childish seriousness, interpreted her words literally and looked upon Elizabeth as mine-mine to protect, love, and cherish” (Shelly 21). While this could simply be a child’s simplistic perspective on life, many children understand levels of simple exaggeration at the age of five - the age Victor was when this occurred. Victor however, held this belief until his death, while a neurotypical person would certainly have realized the true meaning of her words by the time they reached adulthood. To many readers, the point after Victor disassembles the Creature’s half-built wife’s effect is clear - the Creature intends to kill Victor’s fiance Elizebeth on their wedding night but to Victor however, it is the opposite.Before the creature leaves after Victor kills his mate, he says,”It is well. I go; but remember, I shall be with you on your wedding-night.”… All was again silent, but his words rang in my ears. I burned with rage to pursue the murderer of my peace and precipitate him into the ocean…And then I thought again of his words - “I will be with you on your wedding-night." That, then, was the period fixed for the fulfillment of my destiny. In that hour I should die and at once satisfy and extinguish his malice” (Shelly 158).  Victor takes what the creature says at face value - believing that the Creature plans to face him in a final showdown. This is another example of Victor taking things too literally despite the true subtext being clear - at least to a neurotypical. Despite that it makes sense for his wife to be killed as punishment for the creature’s wife dying - an eye for an eye - Victor believes he must face the creature for the final time, face his sins.

Stims are self soothing or stimulating movements that everyone performs although it’s increased in autistic and adhd people. Captain Robert Walton describes Victor, “Does him any the most trifling service, his (Victor) whole countenance is lighted up, as it were, with a beam of benevolence and sweetness that I never saw equalled. But he is generally melancholy and despairing; and sometimes he gnashes his teeth, as if impatient of the weight of woes that oppresses him” (Shelly 11). Victor’s most obvious stim is his teeth gnashing. He does this oral stim throughout the book whenever he feels a strong emotion - most commonly anger or sadness. Victor has a kind soul but an offsetting personality and most likely depression. 

Autistic people often stim when they don’t know what to do in a situation. 

Victor lurks in a corner to avoid excess stimulation when he states, “The poor victim, who on the morrow was to pass the dreary boundary between life and death, felt not as I did, such deep and bitter agony. I gnashed my teeth, and ground them together, uttering a groan that came from my inmost soul” (Shelly 74). This is both an example of Victor’s low empathy and stimming. He doesn’t know how to deal with his internal conflict, turning subconsciously stimming to regulate himself. 

Autistic people have always existed since the beginning of the human race - or perhaps even earlier in Neanderthals or our primate relatives. Even though the label of ‘autistic’ didn’t exist in Mary Shelly’s time, that certainly doesn’t mean that people with the disorder didn’t. Throughout time, they have been called anything from changings or fae to the r slur. Most people don’t like it when someone doesn’t conform to the social standards and neurodivergent people still die for it today. It’s also important to note that neurodivergent is a wide label and doesn’t just include the identities of autism, adhd, anxiety, and depression. People who have cluster disorders such as bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and antisocial personality disorder, people with tic disorders, and dys disorders all fall under the neurodivergent spectrum. The term simply means that your brain doesn’t function like a “normal” brain does, which means that Victor Frankenstein almost certainly was neurodivergent. Other popular speculations in the gothic literature community include narcissistic personality disorder and bipolar disorder. Autism spectrum disorder makes the most sense however, due to the multitude of symptoms that Victor presents throughout the book, autism spectrum disorder seems to be the most likely. The quotes in this are all taken from the 1831 version of the text as opposed to the 1818 version, which is more focused on the hubris of man and therefore, certainly has more evidence to support Victor Frankenstein being on the Autism spectrum. 

[filamentlights]

Welcome to LOVE & HYPERSPACE!

Clone x OC Week - Day 7, Free Space || ??? x OC

Event Masterlist

SUMMARY: Game description. Hyper realistic new otome game with never before seen immersion full of your favorite clone soldiers! Where all your dreams will come true! 🎀💗🐷

Tags & warnings: otome game, mystery, role-play games, dating sim

Caoimhe isn’t sure what amused deity possessed her to download an otome game of all things when her schedule is up to its eyeballs with essays to write. Between the game’s odd story premise and its boasting “realistic interfaces” that gave an “unbelievably immersive experience”, she doubted this was much more than a trashy romance game. With that said, the game had been downloaded. Caoimhe, fresh off of a catharsis cry after nearly flunking her OCHEM test, needed some trashy romance to soothe her soul.

She clicked on the brightly colored game icon, which showed a handsome man with tan skin and dark curly hair grinning at the camera charmingly. His eyes were a striking gold, and his warm skin stood in contrast to the saturated background.

As the game loaded, Caoimhe’s screen was filled with more eye-catching men. Shy, demure boys posing with wildflower bouquets and flushed cheeks. Men with gruff looks and scars hiding red-tipped ears from her. Playfully smiling guys running off to do something spontaneous.

One thing which stuck out to her however, was that they all looked the same and wore the same type of outfit. A white armor painted over with designs of various bright colors. She knew the premise of the game was odd; clones who fought in a galactic war, vying for her hand. What a weird game idea, but hey at least they were hot.

After a bit of loading, a neon pink square popped up telling her to build her character. Basing it off her own looks, she gave her avatar brassy red hair, freckles all around her face, a sloping nose. Although, Caoimhe did pick out pretty blue eyes with little gold flecks in them instead of her usual brown ones. Once that step was completed, another pop up appeared. This time it was to build her bio.

Out of all the options, being a “Jedi General” sounded most interesting, so she tapped that option. The game mechanics whirred and began assembling her character. Her avatar spun in glowing white and pink streaks until coming to a stop facing Caoimhe with a hand on her hip, swinging around to look at her new outfit: tapered brown trousers that looked a bit like cargo pants, practical boots, and a fitted long-sleeve cream top. Skimming the small biography, it said that she was a 24 year old Jedi learner, which made her a commander of the army. Her teacher was someone named Oppo Rancisis, but she was deployed under one Anakin Skywalker with the 501st brigade.

Caoimhe clicked on the Start button. As the game begins to load up, she’s met with an assortment of characters floating on screen, each with their names underneath and little factoids hovering around them. For one, bright futuristic letters read the name Fives. She skimmed the bit of information about him being an ARC trooper and being especially close to his batch-mate Echo. Extra information on the side told her the term ‘ARC trooper’ meant that he was in an elite branch of soldiers, and that ‘batch-mate’ meant that group of other clones he was made and raised with. Traits about Fives also popped up like “courageous” and “loyal.” Another figure with a zigzag pattern on his shaved head popped up, brandishing a suave smile. The pop up read that his name was Kix and he was a medic.

The little loading progress bar hit 100%.

Caoimhe blinked. Her head hurt.

Everything felt fuzzy.

“Commander? You alright there?” There was a man looking at her. She squinted. He had dark curly hair and hazel eyes. His helmet was tucked under his arm so she could see his face, which looked at her in concern.

“Yeah, yeah I’m ok,” she hesitated before adding, “Tup.” She didn’t know why she hesitated before saying the trooper’s name. The 501st, which she’d been assigned to as Anakin’s legion commander, had just returned from a battle on Orto Plutonia, and she remembered she was checking up on him. Before the battle, he was a shiny who’d introduced himself to her, stuttering all the way, when they were suddenly deployed to help Obi-Wan on the Pantoran moon. That had been Tup’s first battle.

“You weren’t responding there for a second, Commander Caoimhe.”

She frowned. She was in a corridor talking to Tup.

“Oh, it’s pronounced quee-vah, Tup. Odd, I know,” she murmured. Tup didn’t seem to notice, and just chuckled.

“Oh, where’s it from?”

Caoimhe paused, trying to recall.

“Oh, you know, it’s just a natborn name.”

Tup chuckled again. “Alright then, see you around Commander.”

She nodded.

Incoming Event: Frozen Hearts

The alarm blared.

Caoimhe looked around. Pulsing yellow lights flared all around her as everything dimmed. For a moment, it was just her in the dark. Low lights along the floor then flickered on, though it didn’t do much for anything but lighting her feet.

A squad of troopers ran by, of which she recognized Fives and Jesse among them.

CHOOSE:

[ASK JESSE] or [ASK FIVES]

The trooper nodded and rushed off. Caoimhe made to run for her quarters and grab her thick robe, but before she left, she watched a small glowing +1 tick off from the leaving trooper’s head before fizzling away.

She turned the corridor, looking for her quarters. Her assignment had been a relatively new one, with her having only seen one full battle before, having been in the Battle of Mumbai with Rex. The Council had assigned both her and Ahsoka to Anakin, Ahsoka as his padawan, and Caoimhe as a…mediator. For Anakin’s temper. Caoimhe chuckled, memories of Anakin throwing a fit at how she a padawan—despite her being three years older than him—was the Council trying to micromanage him.

Caoimhe turned down another corridor, knowing her quarters were somewhere in this area. But she began to feel a chill seep into her. Her fingers were already freezing, so she tucked them under her armpits. She bundled her hands into the long sleeves of her fitted top, but the material was thin. She shivered. Caoimhe realized she could see her own breath puff through the air.

CHOOSE:

[PUSH FORWARD] [TURN BACK & FIND OTHERS]

With a bit of mother-henning from Coric, Caoimhe managed to escape the medbay without too much of a scolding. Luckily, she just had a few mild frost bites, nothing that wouldn’t heal in a bit of time. Although, it did seem like her brief misadventure had quickly spread across the troopers, where more than one had come up to ask about her well being. Thanking the medic, Caoimhe went off to find a group to huddle with. All the troopers had settled into the surrounding armory, three training rooms, and the ship navigation systems center. She even spotted Broadside and Matchstick with a couple other pilots camping out in the hallways. 

CHOOSE:

[BROADSIDE] [MATCHSTICK] [WHOLE GROUP]

Afterwards, Caoimhe made her rounds with the men. She’d checked in with Anakin and Ahsoka and let them know she was alright, and now she was just wandering through one of the training rooms looking for a spot to sit and huddle. Spotting a relatively secluded corner of the gym, she was about to sit down when she heard a voice behind her call her name. 

CHOOSE:

[FIVES] [ECHO] [DOGMA] [JESSE] [REX]

A/N: why did I chose to make this last day so hard for myself. why do I do this to myself. im so sorry if this whole thing is confusing asf LOL. Also I have no idea what Love and Deepspace is like, ive never played it, but I thought it was a cool play on words for the title😁. Anywayssss, hope u guys enjoyed the game!! Hella shout out to @clonexocweek for hosting this and going through all the trouble to make an event to bring together clone wars lovers. Aaaand also shoutout to @orangez3st for being amazing ur probs the only reason I finished the event💀. This wraps up clonexocweek 2025, and it was great! Thanks for reading! ALSO credit for the dividers goes to @/strangergraphics

[sailormoonrarepairweek]

Welcome to the third annual Sailor Moon Rare Pair Week! The event will take place from March 24th - March 30th, 2024, but I'm announcing the themes early to give everyone plenty of time to create their fanworks.

What counts as a rare pair for this event, you ask? Any pairing that isn't Usagi/Mamoru (or any of their incarnations), pretty much! (Don’t get too hung up on the word “rare”. Just roll with it, okay?) They usually have their own week, so this event is a chance for fans to show their love for pairings other than the Miracle Romance, canon or not. You can even include poly, platonic, and cross-over ships, if you'd like! Almost anything goes, as long as you follow some simple guidelines.

Fanworks should somehow incorporate the one of the day's themes. (You can pick just one; you don't have to use both.) How you choose the interpret the theme is up to you!

A non-UsaMamo pair must be the MAIN focus of the work (although Usagi/Mamoru can appear as a side pairing or as part of a polycule).

All ratings allowed.

No smut involving underage characters, which I'm defining as under 18 years old. Otherwise, as long as the characters are portrayed as adults in the fanwork, go wild! Just please make sure to properly tag.

Pairings of all sexual/romantic orientations welcome.

Fanfics should be a minimum of 500 words. Poetry may be shorter, though. (If you would prefer to write drabbles instead, you can write five separate 100-word drabbles about the day's themes, but a day's entry should still be at least 500 words long. You have over four months until the week begins and plenty of time afterward if you don't finish in time. That's plenty of time to write 500 words. I don't think that's too much to ask.) If you're writing fanfic, I REALLY would prefer you post your fics on AO3 or Fanfiction.net and provide a link to your story, but if you must post on Tumblr itself, please make use of the "Read More" option.

Fanart should be a completed drawing. (Any fanart portraying nudity or anything of an R/NC-17 nature should be cropped if immediately visible on your Tumblr post and/or posted with the appropriate community label. You can post the full image under a "Read More" or provide a link to the image on another site.)

Graphics, image boards, playlists, cosplay photos, crafts, meta/essays, etc. are also welcome!

Comments, kudos, and reblogs are encouraged, but don't be a jerk! If you're not a fan of a pairing, please just ignore and move on.

On Tumblr, if you tag #smrarepairweek2024, I will reblog your post. I'll tag explict art and fics reblogs as #nsfw, so feel free to block that tag if you'd rather not see those posts.

Please do not post your works anywhere until the day dedicated to your chosen theme. An AO3 collection has now been set up for this year's event. (Adding your work to the collection will not be required.) If you'd like to look back at the last event's works, the 2023 collection can be found here.

And here is the 2022 collection.

Themes

Day 1: Magic/Mundane Day 2: Hugs/Kisses Day 3: Fire/Ice Day 4: Music/Silence Day 5: Birth/Death Day 6: Break-Up/Make-Up Day 7: Free

(Event Organizer: @kaleidodreams)

[connyscomics]

Until I Become Me by Satou Hatsuki

Trans rep: 8/10

General enjoyment: 8/10

Okay so this will be the first of my longer reviews that I post, and so for readers that don’t want that I’ll first say some words about the comic (in summary or smth). Basically the comic is good but oddly executed and is built around a sort of stupid gender swap premise. Okay so uhm yeah heres my goliath of an essay (actually its just like 600 words, but yk this is tumblr not a newspaper… oh whatever):

I started writing about Trans comics almost three years ago because I noticed that there was not one single thorough guide or reading list for someone trying to find comics about Trans people. There are a few guides out there that allow you to search under the tag of “Transgender”, but every single one has the same five or ten entries that barely have any Transgender representation.

The genre of Transgender comics may seem small, but once you start digging you’ll quickly find that there are so many great comics to be found, if only you just look hard enough!

It took me three years of searching to find Until I Become Me by Satou Hatsuki in the footnotes of a poorly written article about another Trans comic I was researching, but boy was it worth the wait. Until I Become Me is a not-so-classic twist on the classic manga trope of “gender benders” or “gender swap,” in which a character (typically male) magically Transforms (typically overnight) into the opposite sex. This trope generally plays into outdated understandings of gender and sex and the intersection of the two to create what has historically been seen as a humorous plot point.

Gender swap tropes are rooted in a gender-essentialist perspective that there is something inherently “female” about some bodies and something inherently “male” about other bodies and that only a magical binary “switch” could turn a boy into a girl. In reality, gender and bodies are not so completely binary and not so completely set in stone, and furthermore if someone wants to change their body, modern medical transition options are very effective for changing someone’s “sex”.

Normally I can’t stand comics like this because they are full to the brim with Transphobic rhetoric, gender-essentialism, and usually a good amount of oversexualization. However, Until I Become Me is different, because the gender swap mechanic is not seen as a funny joke or a one-off bit but instead as a serious and confusing emotional experience for a character with a lot of internalized self-hatred and Trans desires.

The main character, Akira, hesitantly explores what it means to have a feminine body while simultaneously coping with her growing enjoyment of this experience: she didn’t magically become a girl overnight (mentally speaking) but the “girl” might have been there all along.

This strikingly fresh take on both the Transgender experience and the gender-swap trope is as fun as it is heart wrenching. Before her body changed, Akira regularly harassed and bullied girls in her class, and then after changing ends up facing much of the same treatment from boys in her class. Watching Akira reflect on her own past behaviors towards girls when she was a “boy” hits deep into the real-world challenge of many Trans people to balance internalized prejudices with learned experiences.

Although overall I found the comic really enjoyable and its storyline surprisingly poignant, there were definitely some moments that were hard to read.

The way in which her parents treat her, as a freak of nature that desperately needs “fixing,” and the way that boys in her class (particularly early on when they knew her before the change) treat her, as a subject of ridicule and regular sexual harassment, its all quite difficult to read. But this does not make the story any less valuable as a Trans narrative, in fact the balancing of the softer internal exploration with the harsh outside world is exactly what makes Until I Become Me one of the most harshly realistic comics I’ve ever read.

Admittedly, the gender swap mechanic is a bit cheesy at first, but I think Hatsuki did a good job separating the brain from the body and allowing the Transgender themes to come front and center. The comic is on chapter 63 currently and regularly updating, already having cemented itself as one of the greatest Transgender texts, comic or otherwise, that's ever been written.