#instead of switching me from pms to ams halfway through the week

[snepfeathers]

I'm going insaaaaaaaane it's cruel that I have to wake up before 6am tomorrow. I should be able to stay up until that time drawing furry shit instead

[lightsovermonaco]

His Good Sweater: Chapter 10

Masterlist

Shoutout to my bestie @acollectionofficsandshit for all the drunk comments she made while betaing this one... Wish you guys could see them lol

Word Count: 4.8k

Recommended song: “Amnesia" by 5SOS

Pierre paces in his dinky trailer at the Circuit of the Americas and desperately tries to forget you exist. He had already taken down the pictures on the wall but the images were burned into his brain. He had shoved your shirt under his bed, having absolutely no idea how it had made its way halfway around the world to taunt him.

He was slowly unraveling like a spool of thread on a loom as you wove him irrevocably into the tapestry of your life.

The race in Austin started in less than two hours and you hadn't texted him. Not once in the handful of years he'd known you had you neglected to wish him luck before a race, even if it was 2 am your time or you had exams, you always took thirty seconds to warn him to be safe and finish well.

He was beginning to think you hated him for how he'd acted at the gala last weekend, jealous and possessive from afar. Talking to you would have been the better choice. But seeing you laugh and dance the night away had hurt too much. He’d slipped out early after Victoria assured him she could find a ride and sped home to fall apart.

He had only barely managed to piece himself together in time for the race.

Pierre checks his phone for the third time in as many minutes and swears under his breath. He didn't know why he expected it to ring and for your face to pop up at this point. Even if you called to tear into him, he'd still fall to his knees at the sound of your voice. He just wanted to hear you speak, didn't care what was said, only that he could latch onto your words and lose himself in them.

Hope sparks when his phone chimes but he nearly throws it across the trailer when he sees Charles' name.

Heard from her yet?

No. At this point I'm beginning to think I never will again.

Maybe she fell asleep early?

It's 5 pm in London. I'll bet you she's eating a bowl of takeout from the Chinese place down the street, not sleeping.

Its still possible. Don't dwell on it. This isn't the headspace you wanna be in before a race. Block it out. I don't wanna see my best friend wind up hurt today.

Pierre didn't reply, if only because Charles was right. Worrying would get him nowhere. After his shitty qualifying yesterday, he started thirteenth on the grid so he had his work cut out for him. Austin offered plenty of opportunity for overtakes; he could get the job done if his team made the right calls. 

And if he made it to the podium, you would have to text him.

The thin mattress groans when he sits to unlace his hastily tied race boots. He folds his legs to sit criss cross and places his palms on his knees. The familiar pose already has some of the tension leaving his shoulders as his eyes slide shut. He breathes in for ten seconds, reflecting on what ails him. He holds the breath for five seconds before releasing it slowly.

He repeats the process until he comes to terms with the fact that you won't be wishing him luck. That was your choice; there was nothing he could do about it and therefore no sense reading into it. He had done all he could to convince you to trust him. The ball was in your court; he had to be patient and wait for you to take a shot.

“Focus,” he murmurs to himself, forcing any erroneous thoughts from his head. “Walk through the track.”

The circuit at Austin was challenging, consisting of a mix of 20 sweeping corners and scattered hairpins. He was almost lucky in a way to be starting so far back on the grid because turn one was only a few hundred meters from pole and their tires would be slightly colder and less grippy upon arrival than his would be. The few extra seconds afforded to him by starting thirteenth could mean the opportunity to leap frog past his rivals in the first corner.

The counterclockwise circuit meant he would have to keep an eye on his front left tire too, as it would wear faster than the others. He'd change gears an average of 66 times per lap, higher than similar length tracks like Monaco. Pit stops cost an average of nineteen seconds, meaning he would need to build a significant gap to the driver chasing him in order to avoid the threat of any undercuts.

There were too many variables occupying space in his mind to afford you a sliver of it.

Some time later he decides that his four leaf clover tucked safely in the worn leather of his wallet will provide all the luck he needs and switches on his pre race playlist after popping in his ear buds.

"Sights on the podium," he murmurs to himself, hand on the doorknob. "Let's race."

The bass flows through him as his feet carry him to the Alpha Tauri garage on autopilot, through the back entrance and to his plain white driver room. The familiar beats are a numbing salve spread on his frayed nerves, his anticipation rising like a crimson wave in his veins. He leaves his clothes in a haphazard heap in the corner and changes into the white fireproofs hanging nearby, thoughts momentarily veering to you knocking on the door and stripping them right back off.

Shaking his head to clear his mind, he runs through his usual stretch sets until Pyry arrives to walk him through reflex exercises.

"How's your head?" Pyry asks, running him through more cool down stretches. "Do we need to take a minute and do some meditation?"

"Beat you to it," Pierre grunts out, pushing back against the hand on his head to work his neck. "I'm good."

"You sound better than you have all week, I'll give you that. Keep that focus, use it to propel yourself forward."

"Run me through the lineup again," Pierre requests, "I need something else to think about."

Because if he let his mind follow the path it wanted to, it would inevitably lead to you and undo the work he had done to avoid that. He needed to be empty of anything that wasn't racing, anything else was an unnecessary distraction that had the potential to end in disaster.

Pyry rattles off the grid in order of who Pierre needs to overtake, pausing between each name to give him time to recall their driving styles and potential chinks in their armor to exploit. He knew from tapes of previous years that Stroll often ran wide into turn one, giving Pierre the option to brake late and sweep up the inside. Vettel was half convinced the track was cursed, so his mind would work against him enough that Pierre could exploit it and get past at some point. He continued until he got to Hamilton and Max locking out the front row, where he would need a bit of luck to overtake.

"You got it?" Pyry asks, stepping back.

Pierre rolls his shoulders and nods. 

"Get shit done mate," Pyry says and bumps fists with his driver. He slips out to allow Pierre a moment to center himself before slipping into his race suit, leaving it half unzipped and tying it around his waist before following his trainer.

Pyry leads the way to where the matte navy and white car waits, mechanics swarming it like studious worker bees tending to their queen. No one talks to him save his engineer because words from anyone else threaten to break his carefully constructed race mentality. If they wanted him to bring home points, they knew to leave him alone once he was suited up.

His mind is blank of anything but statistics as he twists his ear buds in and pulls on his balaclava and helmet. As his vision narrows to the sliver of track he can see through his visor, so does his focus. With forty minutes to lights out, he's directed out onto the track. He rips the wheel to the right as he exits the garage, getting a decent powerslide for his efforts.

There was no doubt in his mind that he would land on the podium, if only to see the look on your face when he did.

**********

It took an unfathomable amount of restraint to keep yourself from calling Pierre to wish him luck.

You texted Max instead, wishing him a safe and comfortable podium a half hour before lights out. He hadn't responded, likely already in the garage with his trainer going through his pre race routine.

The pace Max had set the day before had awarded him pole position and the margin between him and Hamilton had been enough that you were confident in his ability to hold off the Mercedes for all fifty six laps.

If you were honest with yourself, you were disappointed that the Alpha Tauri you so desperately tried to ignore would be starting in thirteenth. You try not to think about it, instead queueing up SkySports and opening your laptop for pre race coverage. You avoid the interviews in favor of listening to the commentators analyze the grid.

"It should be an easy win for Max as long as he fends off Hamilton until the first round of pit stops. The undercut works well here, as Red Bull proved last year, and I'm sure they plan on doing the same thing this year."

You hum in agreement, gingerly sipping your steaming tea. You really ought to consider a career as a sportscaster at this point based on how often you came to the same conclusions they did.

"I think one of the biggest shakeups is Russell starting all the way up in eleventh after his amazing qualifying for Williams yesterday. Think he can hold onto that position?"

"He's got some fierce competition not far behind in the form of Alpha Tauri. Gasly starts thirteenth- surprisingly far back on the grid given the otherwise flawless performance he's shown this year. But it seems likely that he should be able to overtake-"

You flick the tv on mute, unable to stomach listening to them sing his praises. You numb your mind with social media until the Formula 1 theme plays on your laptop, alerting you that there's a few minutes until race start. Tire blankets are peeled off and the drivers weave their way through the formation lap with the exception of Kimi who takes his traditional straight line approach to warm up his supersoft tires. 

Most of the front runners are on ultrasofts, indicating a two stop strategy. It was Pirelli's recommended approach, and you were glad that Horner heeded their advice for once and let Max use the ultras in Q2. It would give Max the upper hand over Hamilton who starts on the yellow sidewall tire and thus slightly slower lap times.

Crofty and Brundle break down the notable turns as the cars line up on the grid, pointing out the sharp hairpin only a few hundred meters from pole position. If Max got away clean, he would be ahead of the cramped pack and have an even better edge over the silver arrows who would be forced to queue behind him.

The traditional "lights out and away we go" kicks off the grand prix, engines roaring into the first turn. Max does manage to get away clean and is awarded with an immediate advantage. Turn one proves tragic for the Alfa Romeo of Raikonnen and the Asthon Martin of Stroll who collide and cause Kimi to spin. They rejoin at the back of the pack, your eyes snagging on the navy and white of an Alpha Tauri as it streams past. 

Your heart spins in a similar fashion when the GAS driver tag leaps up two places in the timing table, suddenly in eleventh due to the incident. Your gaze snaps to the laptop humming on your legs before you remember its Max's driver cam you queued up. The Dutchman is silent as his engineer relays information about the incident and informs him of the widening gap between those chasing him. 

“Confirm received,” Gianpiero says calmly. No matter the situation or how heated Max got, he always kept his head. It was what made the duo such a good match and had likely kept Max from going off the rails on more than one occasion.

“Yeah,” Max says shortly, clearly pissed about how quickly Hamilton was approaching. “Let me know when I’ve got enough charge to get out of range.”

“Yep, will do. Just keep this pace and you’ll hold him at bay.”

Live coverage replays the incident between Stroll and Raikonnen from the view of onboard with Pierre. The instant the 10 on the halo appears in the center of your screen you suck in a breath. He yanks the wheel to avoid colliding with Ocon, who had to do the same to keep from hitting his teammate as they navigate through the carnage.

You chew on your lip and try to refocus on the battle between the front runners. Not much is happening in the midfield for the next thirty or so laps and Max just barely manages to build a solid enough gap between himself and Hamilton to dive into the pits comfortably without losing places. 

Your phone rings and you answer it without checking who it was as the only person you wouldn't answer was currently occupied.

"Hello?"

"Why the fuck didn't they pit Daniel?!"

You grin, noting the blistering beginning on his front left tire as SkySports switches to his onboard camera. "Because he's about to pass Charles," you tell Dan's girlfriend. She didn't call you often during races. It was likely that she knew you were nearing your wits end and this was her way of offering support.

"He won't be able to with those tires- oh." She breaks off when Daniel passes a DRS detection zone and his rear wing opens, allowing him to pass the Monegasque with ease. 

"Told you," you say with a touch of reprimand. "You're always too nervous about those things. Daniel knows how to drive, just trust him to get the job done and he'll bring home another trophy for your apartment."

"I don't live here," she points out and you roll your eyes. She had lived in London as long as you had known her, but she was almost always at Daniel's apartment whether he was in town or not. Daniel digs in as the camera follows him for a lap, highlighting the widening gap between the McLaren and the Ferrari.

"You basically do. At this point, you're paying rent for a dusty one bedroom apartment on the east side that you set foot in maybe once a month." She scoffs but you push on, "a waste of sterling if you ask me, when you're at Daniel's every time I ask you to do anything."

"You act like I never- there goes Pierre!"

His name sparks dread in your gut as your attention flicks back to the screen in time to see him overtake Bottas on the inside of turn one. He'd managed to claw up to fifth with the move, somehow gaining places while you weren't looking.

"Good for him," you croak, trying your best to be genuinely happy for him. He was pushing the car to the limit and you'd be amazed if he didn't wind up on the podium along with Dan and Max. Charles and Hamilton were the only ones in his way, and something told you Charles wouldn’t put up much of a fight when his mate reached his gearbox. Hamilton would prove a challenge but he had been making tiny mistakes all day. Nothing significant, though enough to add up to him barely holding onto second while Daniel rode his gearbox.

"He's got ten laps to get past those two," she murmurs as if momentarily forgetting you were on the phone. 

"Can we talk about literally anything else please?" You whisper, half tempted to shut off the race completely. 

"Babe, you have to face the music at some point. Either you never want to see him again or you love him, which is it?"

She never failed to be anything but brutally honest. You appreciate it because everyone else let you brush off your problems, but she called you on your bullshit. She would needle you about it until you folded.

"I think it's better for both of us if I pretend we never met, don't you?"

"Easier for you, yes," she agrees. "But it'll kill Pierre. You don't think you could keep in touch with him, just as friends?"

"I don't know if I can handle that. I can barely look at him without wanting to bawl my eyes out."

She sighs, pausing to contemplate what to say. Voice soft, she continues, "Why don't you just take him back? Clearly it's ruining both of you. Are you really gonna let the press wreck the best you ever had? I know its hard but-"

"I'm not like you," you cut in. "I can't just ignore the articles and the comments and pretend there aren't people out there that hate me for being with him. They came to my house, disrupted my family. Hell, Ben can't even go to school without being mobbed by his classmates demanding answers. If my suffering is what allows my family to go about their lives then so be it."

"If that's what you wanna believe."

You sigh, tangling your fingers in the hem of your shirt. "It is."

"Alright," she says, voice teetering on a knife's edge. "I know better than to try to change your mind when you're like this. He's on the podium by the way. Oh, and watch what you say to Max- Pierre will read into it."

She hangs up without a goodbye, leaving you to deal with the realization that the podium is indeed VER RIC GAS on your own. Your eyes are glued to the Red Bull and McLaren drivers, blatantly ignoring the one in the white suit as the anthems play and the champagne is sprayed, turning away to busy yourself with making coffee when Daniel hands his liquid filled race boot to third place.

You weren't quite sure how you were supposed to watch what you said to Max- there was no reason to in your mind. Max was your next closest friend on the grid and you had every right to congratulate him if you wanted to.

Resolute in your decision, you text Max and Daniel a quick congratulations before shutting off the TV and closing your laptop.

Max's insane custom ringtone he'd selected for himself nearly makes you jump out of your skin when it blares from your phone.

"Hey great race-"

"Did you see it? I wasn't sure if you'd watch it- did you see my move on Hamilton when he tried to get past me?" He was talking a mile a minute like he was still out on track. "I was like- and then Dan tried to overtake me on the final lap and I was like no way! And then-"

"Max," you chime in, dragging out the 'a' with a sing-song voice. "You're rambling."

"Oh right. Yeah but I made it! Led every lap and finished with another win."

"That's great." You force as much enthusiasm in the words as possible, trying to match his chaotic energy. "You did great. I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I'm proud to be your friend. You beat a world champ!"

"It means a lot-" 

"Who's that?"

You stiffen at the familiar cadence. You had assumed Max was back in the garage when he called, but he must have still been in the podium room. You could picture him in his race suit, smudges of grease and dirt staining the pristine white. Beads of sweat probably ran down his neck, begging to be brushed away by your tongue. 

"Uh, no one," Max says in a lame attempt to cover up his digression. "I gotta go," he whispers to you. 

"Let me talk-"

"Wait don't," you start, but the call ends abruptly and you blink. You stare down at your phone, completely dumbfounded. Of course his instinct would be to talk to you, to share the euphoria of a podium with you. It was the first victory in three years he wouldn't have you to celebrate with.

It was only a matter of time until his resolve popped like the cork on his champagne.

**********

Pierre's phone is in his hand as soon as Max hangs up. He hefts his trophy in the other, a wild grin on his sweaty face as he snaps a picture. He makes sure he's the only one in the frame, shamelessly wanting himself to be the center of your attention.

"Mate," Daniel pipes up, catching his eye, "you think that's a good idea?" 

Pierre sighs, cutting the Australian a glare. "I'm just trying to fill her in."

"Wasn't your plan to give her space?"

"It's been a week, isn't that long enough?"

"Take it from me, sometimes it takes months for someone to figure things out. Hell, you know how long it took me to sort through my feelings for-"

"I know," Pierre cuts in. "I know. I just- a snap can't hurt can it? C'mon, I just got a podium! If it goes bad I can blame it on the post race jitters."

Daniel holds up his hands and shrugs. "You're a grown man. Do what you want."

Pierre studies the photo, scrutinizing the way his hair was plastered to his head and the awkward way he'd posed to keep anyone but himself out of the frame. It's his genuine smile that he knows will do you in, and ultimately the reason he sends it.

His phone is a lead weight clutched in his grip as he winds through the paddock, constantly stopped by vips and team members congratulating him. None of what anyone says registers, he just tries his best to match their mood and sputter praises about his team's contributions to his podium. 

The snap you finally send back is only from the eyes up, but it's enough. He's surrounded by people in his driver room, but for ten seconds it might as well have just been him staring at a sliver of your face on a screen.

The tiny lines at the corners of your shining eyes tell him you're smiling, which is a step in the right direction even if you won't let him see your entire face. It's enough to reignite the hope that slumbered in his chest while waiting for you to pull the trigger and make a move.

He sends back a video of the people in the room, who cheer when they realize they're being filmed. 'Wish you were here,' is what he captions it and sends it without giving himself a chance to overthink.

Ten minutes pass with no reply.

The beer he’s already consumed have given him a pleasant buzz as well as an excuse to make a bad decision or two. He takes another video of the room to post to his Instagram story, 'Missing you' written in the lower left corner.

Fuck, he hopes you'll see it and regret leaving him on read. Instead all he gets is a text from Charles chastising him for stirring up drama.

Really Pierre?

Blame it on the alcohol, he texts back. 

I know you aren’t drunk. You can’t form a coherent sentence when you are.

Guess i gotta drink more then

Pierre doesn’t turn anyone bearing alcohol away. He's two celebratory shots deep when Daniel finds him sulking in a corner. "You've got my girl texting me freaking out over your story. I've seen it and I gotta agree with her. Was that really necessary?"

"She left me on read," Pierre says like that was enough explanation. His head was spinning and it was getting hard to keep the room upright. "And it's the truth. I miss her like hell. I want her here. She was supposed to come, you know? I was gonna have her fly in with me on the jet. She doesn't start class again until June. I had this whole week planned out. I was gonna show her Texas- she’s from New York and..." 

He trails off when he notes Dan’s pitying smile. Daniel sighs and runs a hand through his curls. "I know. I get it, okay? I know it's hard but you can't force it. You've gotta let her come back on her own, all you're doing now is pushing her away."

He was fucking clueless when it came to these things. He'd had you for a few precious moments and now that he'd lost you he didn't know how to act. His mind was running on hazy autopilot; he barely knew which way was up, let alone did he trust himself to make any sort of important decision.

He stares down at the shot he'd been handed at some point before throwing it back. The cheap whiskey burns his throat but he barely registers the sting. "Should I take it down?"

"She already saw it," Daniel says gently, as if he anticipates how bad the fuck up will hurt. And it does. It hits him like a tire wall at two hundred kph, knowing that you were probably ranting or crying on the phone with Daniel’s girlfriend. "But yeah, that's probably best. People are already wondering what happened between you two, no need to throw fuel on the fire."

"You're probably right-" Pierre cuts off when Charles arrives with a grimace on his face. He shakes his head and gives his friend’s shoulder a squeeze. 

"For once I'm not the dumb one."

"You're a dick, you know that right?" Daniel says, allowing Pierre to delete the post. It takes him a few tries before he gets it down, but undeniably rumors will be circulating in the morning if they weren’t already.

"Honestly what were you thinking?" Charles demands, edging towards full blown yelling. "I told you to leave her be. The gossip stemming from this isn’t gonna help.”

The last thing he needed was someone else telling him how stupid his decision had been. At least Daniel had the decency to show sympathy. 

"Honestly?" Pierre responds with the same intensity, his anger flaring. "Honestly, Charles, I was thinking that she was happy for me but was too afraid to take the leap. She haunts me. Every second I’m awake I have to force myself away from her. Even when I’m asleep I can’t get away from her. So I don’t know, maybe I wanted to haunt her too."

“This isn’t the way you win her back and you know it.”

“I know!” Pierre throws up his hands. “But what else am I supposed to do? She won’t talk to me. She has no problem talking to Max or Daniel but apparently she draws the line at me.”

“You know it’s not-” Daniel's eyes flick to his phone and he fights back a grin. All it does is remind Pierre that he lost the person that could bring that sort of smile to his own face. "Fellas I wish I could stay and help but I gotta get going. Charles, I think Pierre needs another drink." He slaps five American dollars in the Monegasque's hand. "First one is on me."

Pierre is too deep in a spiral to care when his friend drags him from the party to a bar just south of the circuit. Somehow it was within walking distance; the floor was sticky and the lighting was for shit but he didn't care.

Pierre's focus was on downing shot after shot, erasing the broken image of you his mind had conjured up. He never should have posted the story. It only served to feed into what the media had been speculating for the past week and dredged up more tension between you.

Pierre stops checking his phone two shots later. The liquor provides a wet blanket over his senses, dousing him in cold water and scrambling his brain. He could barely remember his own name, but yours still lived in the corner of his mind.

Even drunk, he refused to forget you.

Two hours and who knows how much alcohol later, Charles helps Pierre back to his hotel room.

Pierre falls asleep as soon as he hits the mattress, head too blurry to dredge up memories of you.

[courtofjurdan]

One Chance part 17

Previous Chapter 

Masterlist

Main Masterlist 

A/N: Hey peeps, I know it has been ages since I updated this, but here I am with an update. By the way, when you see “~”, it means its switching to past and then when you see another one, it goes back to present. And I got all my info from google and tv shows for this chapter so if it is not entirely right, I’m sorry. This is the last chapter. I have an epilogue planned also. I hope you enjoy this!

Jude felt pain ripple through her stomach and then felt wetness down her leg. She looked down expecting it her water to have broken but instead she was met with blood. As the pain intensified, the blood got worse.

“Cardan.” “Cardan!”

At that moment she realized she was at home alone. She went looking everywhere for her phone. Finally, she found it on the kitchen island, and called for an ambulance immediately. She called Cardan next telling him to either hurry and come home, something is wrong with the baby, or meet her at the hospital when the ambulance arrives.

Cardan hurried home from his job. He got there after the ambulance arrived. He went with her to the hospital and she was admitted quickly. They needed to do an emergency C-section before anything worse happens to the baby. They rolled Jude to the operation room, Cardan right behind her getting dressed in sterile paper clothes.

She gave birth to her baby, and the whole room was silent. You could hear a pin drop. Jude began asking, “Why isn’t she crying?” She looked to Cardan who had tears running down his cheeks and she knew her worst fears were being confirmed. She started to scream, “No, no, no…”

“No!

“Jude!” Cardan put his hands on her cheeks. “Wake up, baby. It’s a dream.”

Jude opens her eyes, tears falling out. Her breath coming in pants.

“Take a deep breath with me.”

Jude copies Cardan breaths. After she is calmed down, Jude says quietly, “She was dead and I couldn't do anything about it.”

Cardan knew what she was talking about. He put his hand on her very swollen stomach, “Look she's okay. You feel her kicking and moving around in there?” A nod of her head. “That means she is happy and healthy in there. There is nothing to worry about.”

~~~ Jude is 38 weeks now. She’s now very round, extremely emotional, and has crazy nightmares all the time. Cardan is always there to comfort and care for her around the clock.

Two months ago Jude and Cardan moved into the house his dad had bought for them as a gift. It was a two story house with 5 bedrooms and 3 full baths. They decided to get a house where they could live forever. A house they could fit their ever growing family.

Cardan got closer to his dad. His dad finally met him halfway into wanting a relationship with him. They met at least once a week for dinner or coffee. Cardan got a job at his company, a very good paying job. Unfortunately for Jude, Madoc still hasn’t wanted to mend their relationship, but Jude is okay with it. She doesn’t want someone that doesn’t want her.

When Christmas came around five months ago, they decided to have everyone get them baby stuff rather than presents for themselves. They basically had a baby shower for Christmas. Jude liked it because she is not a fan of planning parties or events.

It’s now the end of May, and Cardan and Jude finally graduated from college. They got to do virtual college because of the current predicament they were in. They only had to go to some classes, but mostly they did it from home. Definitely this last month, Jude just wasn’t feeling up to do stuff. She is always tired and sore, and just needs to take it easy. ~~~

Jude looked back at Cardan as he wiped her tears away and put her hand over her stomach to feel her baby kick. She repeated Cardan’s words, “She’s okay. She’s okay. She’s okay.”

Cardan kissed her cheek. And rubbed her back as Jude processed everything.

Then she grunted, “I need to pee. So help me up before I pee in the bed.”

Cardan laughed before he got out of bed and helped Jude steady her feet on the floor.

~~~ Jude has to pee a lot. Cardan swears she has to pee every 20 minutes. Which means Cardan has to help her every 20 minutes. But he doesn’t complain to her, it’s half his fault that she does, but he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Cardan never realized how hard it was on women to grow a baby. He thought they just gained weight and got tired but no, he was wrong. He didn’t know how uncomfortable Jude would be as time got closer. He didn’t realize how swollen her feet would become, how sore her back would be, the amount of loss sleep because the baby was restless or she was too uncomfortable. It made Jude so strong in his eyes.

Jude’s chosen family, Van, Liliver, and Garret, and her blood/adoptive family, Taryn and Vivivenne, were always there for her. And her family was excited to see their niece and become aunts and uncles. Her chosen family was surprised when Jude came to them and mentioned about them being aunts and uncles for her little one. She explained to them that they were more than just best friends. They were more like brothers and sisters to her. They all had an unbreakable bond with each other.

Jude and Cardan have set up the nursery. Jude insisted that she wanted a faerie book style room. And Cardan gave that to her. It’s a room any little girl would want, and when it came to Cardan, he would give anything both of his girls asked. But seeing Cardan trying to put baby furniture together was the best thing Jude has ever seen. She sat in a rocking chair every night watching him struggle, it was the best entertainment. At one point, he decided to call for backup, and Van and Garret came in and helped. So then Jude got to watch all three of them struggle together. But they eventually got it put together.

Jude has started to have Braxton-Hicks contractions for about a month and a half. Cardan hates them. Everytime she has one and she stills, he starts to freak out and Jude has to tell him it’s fine and calm down. It’s not like he feels the pain from them. But Jude is secretly happy he’s there for her and he cares so much about how she feels. ~~~ Once Jude goes to the bathroom, she asks Cardan if he will make breakfast for her. Her breakfast included popping some toaster strudels in the toaster and putting the rich icing on top. Jude basically has been craving anything sweet. So if it’s sweet, Jude wants it.

They eat breakfast and Jude decides to go to the baby room and go through stuff/ organize. She is nesting. She has gone through the hospital bag about three times already, she’s organized the kitchen several times, she cleans everything that she is able to, demanding Cardan to clean the stuff she can’t. And again, Cardan does it, because he doesn’t want to be on Jude’s bad side at the moment.

When Jude was resting from her organizing, Cardan got ready and left for work for his dad’s company. Cardan insisted that he stay with her until the baby is born but she said she would be fine alone. In the end, Liliver came over the days Cardan had to work. Liliver liked to call it their “girl time” before the baby got there.

It was about 7 o’clock pm when Jude decided to get a shower. Cardan was off at 8, and he was bringing home food which was right up her alley.

Now dressed in her pajamas, which consisted to be some stretchy legging and Cardan’s t-shirt, she made her way back to the bedroom. When she met the threshold of the bathroom and bedroom, she felt wetness run down her leg. She paused. All she could think was “Is this really it?”

She called for Liliver. “Hey, Bomb!”

Liliver was there in a couple of seconds. She saw Jude’s pale face and immediately asked, “What’s wrong?”

Jude stuttered, “Umm I- I think my water broke.”

Liliver looked down and saw the puddle of water gathered at her feet. “Oh okay, yeah. So, let’s just go sit down on the bed, I’ll clean that off the floor, and I’ll go call Cardan, okay?”

They slowly made their way to the bed. Liliver got a towel and put it over the fluid to dry it up, and got her phone out and called the man of the hour.

“Hey Cardan, I need to come home. Now.”

There was a pause. And then he seemed to find his words, “Uh, why? What’s wrong?”

“Well, all I have to say is ‘are you ready to go have a baby?’ Jude’s water broke.”

Heavy, nervous breathing came back to her, “Oh my gosh, really? Okay, okay, I’m leaving now. Is she okay? Crap, no she’s probably not okay, what am I thinking, she’s having a baby. Do I need-”

Liliver stopped his rambling, “Cardan, stop, Jude needs you to come home. Everything’s okay right now. I’ve got it handled.”

“Okay, I’m leaving right now.” With that he hung up.

Bomb helped Jude get some shoes on and braided her hair so it was out of her face. Knowing if it was down, all her hair would stick to her face from the sweat that was already starting to bead on her head as her contraction got stronger.

After she finished having one, Liliver asked, “Jude, have you been having contractions today?”

Panting, she said, “Yeah. I thought it was just Braxton-Hicks contractions, but I guess I was wrong.”

“Why didn’t you tell us? Cardan would have stayed home with you.”

Jude glared at her. “Exactly, Cardan would have stayed home and fussed over me. I don’t want someone taking care of me, I’m a big girl.” No, what Jude didn’t say is that she’s scared. And saying it aloud makes everything a reality, and she is not ready to admit that yet.

Not fifteen minutes later, Cardan comes through the front door. He walks quickly to their bedroom. He sees Liliver and Jude on the bed. The former rubbing Jude’s back through her contractions.

Cardan bends down in front of her and gives her cheek a kiss. He grabs her hand and waits till the contraction passes, rubbing small circles on the back of her hand.

When it is over with, he tells Jude, “I’m going to change my clothes real quick, and we will head out, okay?”

Jude nods her head. Cardan can tell how nervous and stressed she is.

He gets up, changes into some sweat pants and t-shirt, puts some Nike high tops on, and goes back to Jude, bending down in front of her, “Okay, you ready?”

Tears immediately fill her eyes, which isn’t a shock, she cries about everything these days, but when her body starts to shake with nervousness, Cardan knows this isn’t her just being an emotional basket case.

He immediately has his hands cupping her cheeks, “Hey Love, what is it? What’s wrong?”

A sob wracked through her, “I’m scared, Cardan, I’m so scared. What if I fail her? What if something goes wrong?”

He put his hands on either side of her stomach, “Hey I’m scared too. But guess what? We get to meet our little princess today or tomorrow, and that’s all that matters. She is going to be so loved. You’re going to be an amazing mom, I know you will be. She is going to love you so much. It’s okay to be scared, but don’t doubt yourself.” He gave a kiss on the lips. “You’re so strong, nothing is going to go wrong.”

Jude opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment a contraction hit her, and the words dissipated from her lips. But Cardan was there to rub her back, and tell her to breathe.

After it was over, Cardan grabbed the baby bag from the living room and headed out to the car with Jude. Liliver promised she would clean up a few things and lock the house before she leaves. Cardan thanked her, internally grateful for such a friend.

Cardan helped Jude into the car, and then got into the driver's seat. He blew out a big breath, and a wide smile bloomed on his face. He looked at Jude and said, “Let’s go have a baby.” He leaned across the middle and put his hand on Jude’s belly and kissed her lips excitingly. It made Jude smile right back.

The car ride wasn’t too bad. Even though Jude grunted and cursed, she didn’t complain once. She held onto Cardan’s hand while he drew circles on top of it, asking if she was okay. Which just aggravated her.

Once arriving at the hospital, the nurses took her back to a room. The room had machines, obviously a hospital bed, a chair for Cardan, and in the corner was a little bed for the baby to be checked out in. It was so surreal to them.

Cardan helped Jude change into her hospital gown, and helped her lay in the bed. The nurse came and put monitors on her stomach, one looked at the baby’s heartbeat and the other could tell when contractions came and how strong they were. The nurse then started on IV to put her on some fluids.

Doctor Tatterfell came in to check how far she was dilated. Which was a 5, she couldn’t believe she was already halfway there. Hence, she has been having contractions since this morning so I guess it does make sense.

But now, at 10pm, the contractions hurt bad. She held Cardan’s hand like it was her last lifeline. And Cardan, the ever encouraging boyfriend, let her, and he massaged her back and whispered sweet nothings about how good she was doing and how strong she is.

She got into different positions throughout the hours to try and relieve some of the stabbing pain that pursued every 5 minutes.

After finishing having one, Jude said, “Cardan, next time massage my lower stomach and my lower back at the same time. It might help.”

So that’s what Cardan did. It seemed to be the best right now to relieve some pain. Soon a nurse came in asking if she wanted an epidural which she immediately said yes.

They again checked to see how dilated she was, and they told her she was at a seven, and then they went ahead and gave the epidural.

Soon, Jude was numb from the belly button and down. Cardan held her hand as the needle went into her back. He couldn’t believe how big the needle was though, he was very nervous for her, not that he would tell her that. But she took it like a champ. Cardan let her know that much too.

Now she was laying back down, getting in a comfortable position on her side. Cardan wiped a cold rag on her forehead, she had sweat quite a bit in the last three hours.

He laid the rag down on a tray and muttered, “You’re doing so good, baby. I’m so proud of you. Rest now while you can, okay? I’ll be right here if you need me.” He was going to sit in the chair they had provided him.

Jude spoke quietly, “You rest too.” Jude ran a hand over her stomach. “I have a feeling we won’t be sleeping much tomorrow.” She smiled up at Cardan.

Cardan softly laughed and kissed her lips right before he went down and kissed her belly.

Soon they both were resting and asleep. Jude got about 2 hours when she started to feel the numbness wear off. She didn’t wake up Cardan, wanting him to get as much needed sleep as he could get.

Taryn came in while they were still sleeping. Jude wanted someone there that could document this moment, and Taryn said she would happily record and take pictures of this monumental day.

But soon, the pain increased, which means her groans of pain got louder. Unfortunately, she couldn’t keep it quiet enough, and Cardan heard it. He rushed to her side and grabbed her hand.

After the pain subsided a little, she called out, “I feel a lot of pressure, Cardan.”

His eyebrows shot up, “You feel like you need to push?”

She nodded her head.

Cardan spoke quickly, “Okay, wait just a second, let me get a nurse.”

Cardan opened the door, went out the hall a little bit and got a nurse. In no time, Jude’s team of nurses and her doctor came into the room.

Doctor Tatterfell checked her and said, “Okay Jude, when you feel another contraction go ahead and push.”

Some nurses held her legs back while Cardan held her hand and let her squeeze it to the point of it feeling like it was breaking.

After 15 minutes of pushing, Cardan muttered into her ear, “You’re doing so good, Jude. I’m so proud of you. You’re almost done.” Cardan could tell how tired she was.

She pushed again and panted, “I can’t. I can’t push anymore. It hurts and I’m so tired.”

Cardan looked past her legs and back at Jude, “Jude, honey, you can do this. She’s almost here. She’s already crowning. We just need a few big pushes, and she’s here. I know it hurts, and you’re tired, but it’s going to be so worth it when this is all done.” Tears started to well up in his eyes.

Jude put a determined look on her face and breathed in deep, and pushed.

Cardan mumbled to her, holding her hand, “Push, push, push, push. Good job, baby.”

This happened two more times, and on the third push, Jude felt relief. She then heard her baby girl crying, and her baby was placed on her chest. She gathered her up in her arms, admiring the little body that wailed with life.

She couldn’t help the tears that fell from her eyes, couldn’t help the sob that tore from her throat. She heard the nurse ask Cardan “Dad, would like to cut the cord.”

He did, and turned back to his girls. Jude heard a sob to her right, and turned her head to see Cardan with the widest smile on his face, tears falling from his eyes.

Cardan looked at Jude, kissed her forehead, kissed the baby’s head and said, “She’s so beautiful.”

Jude sniffed. “She is.”

They took the baby away to be checked by the nurses and doctors while they cleaned Jude up from the rest of the birthing part.

Taryn was still there and did her part. She took pictures and recorded like she was supposed to. She cried while she did it. This was an experience she would never forget.

They weighed the baby and checked her height. She was 7.4 lb and was 19 inches long. Born on May 28, 2020 at 1:09 am.

Soon the nurse came back over with the baby. “Okay. Here she is.” She gave the baby to Jude. “Do you plan to bottle or breastfeed?”

“I plan to breastfeed.”

“Okay then let's see how she does.”

The nurse helped her get the baby to latch, it took a couple of tries but she did it. After the nurse saw everything was going well, she left the room along with Taryn to give the family some alone time.

Cardan cupped the baby’s head as she fed from where he stood, “Jude, you baffle me. You brought this sweet baby girl into the world, and you did amazing. You did amazing carrying her for the last 9 months. And now we get a lifetime of happiness together.” He gently grabbed Jude’s chin from where she was looking at the baby so she would look at him. “Jude Duarte, marry me.”

Jude’s eyes widened and she whispered, “What?”

“You make me the happiest man in the world. I want to live with you forever, I want to raise our children together as husband and wife. I want to attempt to be the man you deserve every single day for you and our family. You bring out the best in me. So will you make me an even more happier man if that’s even possible today and marry me?”

Jude eyes filled with more tears and she nodded, “Yes, Cardan, yes, of course.”

They kissed as the baby unlatched herself. Jude broke the kiss and looked down. The baby had gone to sleep. She looked at Cardan and smiled, “Okay, dad, are you ready to hold her?”

Cardan nodded enthusiastically and held out his arms. Jude met him halfway and gave him the baby. He sat down in his chair by the bed and gazed adoringly at her.

And for the hundredth time that day, Cardan cried. He let the tears roll down his face, unashamed. This was the happiness of his little family, his baby girl that had dark brown hair, and looked to be like golden brown eyes from the little bit she did open them, and his fiancé that blessed him with all this joy.

He looked down at his baby and ran a finger down her cheek, and with a thick voice, breathed, “Welcome to the world Liam Rose Greenbriar. I’m your daddy.”

All Cardan could think of was he was so thankful that Jude gave him one chance.

taglist: 

@ummmcutie

@aelin-queen-of-terrasen 

@afexiss  

@roseygirl25

@mi-mavencalories 

@spideygirlstuff 

@deargreenbriar 

@b00kworm 

@thequeenofeveything 

@munchycow 

@aesthetics-11 

@booksrmee 

@akaloto 

@hauntedfreakdeputyhero​ 

@hurema​ 

@dorkzrul​ 

@curlyredqueen06 

@tanaquilpriscilla​ 

@queen-of-glass​ 

@emmabookworm08 

@charrise​ 

@ireallyshouldsleeprn​ 

@elriel4life​ 

@xxxanimangxxx​ 

@ironicallyanemic​ 

@dirigibledinosaur​ 

Let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the tag list. Bolded tags don’t work.

[writerpeach]

Club Mimosa [Ch 4] - Empty

---

Read on AFF

Read on Wattpad

You woke up the next morning in an empty bed after a night with Chaeyoung and had nobody to blame but yourself. The covers felt heavy as you pushed them off, unprepared to start the day.  

Countless thoughts ran through your mind as you dressed for work, slipping a dull pair of slacks you had worn day after day, trying your tie in the same exact way so many times you could have done it in your sleep. The dreaded morning routine was thankfully interrupted when your phone buzzed and broke up the monotony.

Chaeyoung (7:45 am) > Thanks for last night. It was hot and I'm still sore.

Just wanted to say I'm not looking for anything but a good time, so if you wanna hook up again you let me know.

Enjoy work.

Well that was one less thing to worry about, and any potential feelings about Chaeyoung you might have harbored didn't matter now. You headed to work and took a look at Club Mimosa on the way. Still closed of course, not that it would have been open at this early hour.

Work was not enjoyable to say the least. The minutes felt like days as you caught up on what needed to be done, eyes glazing over as fatigue sat in. You leaned back in your chair and closed your eyes, and for the second time day your phone interrupted at the best time.

Hirai Momo (4:30 pm) > Hey, it's Momo. From the club.

You (4:31 pm) > Hello Momo!

Hirai Momo (4:33 pm) > You should come see me. It's been a while.

You (4:36 pm) > I would love to, but isn't the club closed?

Hirai Momo (4:39 pm) > It is, at least for a couple more days, but I still have access. Will you be off work around nine?

You (4:39 pm) > God, I sure hope so. If not, I'll force myself to leave.

Hirai Momo (4:41 pm) > Great! Meet me at the side entrance, it's around where my car was last time. And bring wine!

You stopped by a wine store on the way to the club and asked for a recommendation, something tasty and something not outrageously expensive were your only two requirements. You were in and out and left with a bottle of red wine on your way to meet Momo for the first time in a week.

The brisk walk to Club Mimosa was comfortable. The sun had set already, and even though the weather had already changed, the weather was fairly mild given the time. Not particularly cold or hot.

You turned the corner of Club Mimosa's building and headed towards the parking lot just minutes before nine, this time taking notice of the disturbing lack of garishness that made the building empty. Momo's flashy car was parked already, and it seemed she matched your punctuality.

As you approached, the door opened and out walked the familiar Japanese woman, surprisingly dressed casually this time in short ripped jean shorts, a dark jean jacket that hung off her shoulder and underneath was a plain white tee that had hiked itself up enough to give more than a taste of Momo's appetizing midriff. Even from your distance you could notice it was a little more than see-through.

You missed Momo's elegance but the way she dressed down gave that girl next door vibe, something you found even more appealing.

"Hey stranger," she said with a warm greeting smile, and you returned one of your own as you presented the bottle of wine in your hands.

"Ooh, can't wait to try it. I don't normally dress this casually, but I had some unexpected errands and didn't have time to change. Hope you don't mind."

"Of course not, you look great Momo. I didn't exactly have time to change either."

Momo grinned shyly. "Let's head in," she said as she grabbed a set of keys and unlocked the entrance. You followed her in as she flicked on a set of light switches and locked the door tight again behind her.

Momo led the way as she navigated through a long hallway connected to lockers and dark dressing rooms, multiple offices and break rooms. Momo flicked on more lights and you found yourself on the familiar floor of Club Mimosa right next to the bar. Seeing it devoid of loud music, loud drinking patrons was eerie.    

"Since there's nobody here we can head up to the VIP lounge if you'd like."

You nodded and Momo slipped her jacket off and tossed it on the bar's counter, heading behind the bar and grabbed two wine glasses.

"Got anything to open this?"

"We wouldn't be much of a club if we didn't," Momo giggled as she searched through one of the drawers behind the bar.

"Here, you open it," Momo said as she handed you a corkscrew. "It always scares me."

"That's adorable," you said and Momo pouted. You unwrapped the seal of the bottle as Momo covered her ears, and the cork of the wine bottle slipped out with a dampened pop that you couldn't help but laugh at the weak noise.

"That wasn't so bad," you said, as Momo stuck her tongue out and left from out behind the bar, glasses in hand.

"Follow me, sir," she chuckled as she headed up the VIP area and up the winding stairs as you followed her up. The lights came on, although much dimmer than downstairs and ambient music played. The VIP lounge was much fancier than expected. The long circular couches were black instead of white, the booths more spacious and more comfortable looking, and the entire area had a general level of expected extravagance to it.

"This place is so different when it's...quiet," you said. Momo nodded in agreement as you sat down in the middle of the couch, placing the dark-colored bottle of wine on the table in front as Momo sat to the left of you, placing the glasses right beside the wine.

"Quiet is nice," Momo said, and she instinctively grabbed the bottle of wine, but you gently nudged it away from her.

"Let me pour for once."

"Okay," Momo said, with a cute shy expression. You poured her glass first and then your own, filling both a little more than halfway. You clinked glasses and Momo swirled the dark red liquid around in her glass, letting the aroma hit her senses.

"Smells amazing."

Momo brought the brim of the glass to her full red lips and tilted it back, taking a long sip of the wine and letting out a sound of satisfaction afterward.

"Taste amazing too. You picked well!"

"I didn't do anything. Sorry to say someone else picked it for me," you chuckled.

"Well, you should have taken all the credit, I never would have known."

Momo took another sip and adjusted in her seat, making sure her attention was on you. "How have you been?"

You didn't give as much care to the wine as Momo did and drank it right away. It tasted sweet and miles ahead better than the cheap bottom aisle bottles you always bought at convenience stores.

"Busy. This is the first time this week I've been able to see the sun going down. How about you?"

"Well I'm glad to have been responsible for that," she smiled. "It's been a strange couple of days. I'm not used to having free time, but this place should be up and running by the weekend though."

"Can't wait for the anticipated return."

"Maybe I should have them delay it," she giggled, as you met her with a confused look.

"Who needs a club when you have a beautiful hostess right in front of you? You don't even have to pay for my company tonight."

"Ah...when you put it that way."

Momo laughed. "I'm just teasing. It would be nice to make money again though."

"I have cash in my wallet if you-"

Momo shook her head. "You know I don't need it. I don't really need anything. What you can give me is what most of my clients can't."

"What's that?"

"Satisfaction."

You didn't know what she meant by that.

"You show respect for me. You're not drunk off your ass when you visit, and you don't look at me like I'm a meal like some of the obnoxious unkempt men that come in. I'm happy when you come in, I don't have many clients that I actually look forward to seeing."

Momo poured herself another glass and looked almost apologetic for her venting.

"That sounds...rough."

"Perks of being at the top. Being number one means you have to deal with a lot of shitty customers. Sometimes I wish I wasn't popular, things would be so much easier."

Momo took another long gulp of her wine. "I shouldn't complain, I'm sure the other hostesses would love to take my spot in a flash."

Momo sighed and quickly changed the subject. "So tell me...I heard that you had a little fun with one of our Korean hostesses."

"I-I...I don't know what you're talking about. Didn't even know there were Korean women working here," you said as you put on your best innocent smile.

"Yeah I bet mister."

"I guess you caught me."

Momo topped off her wine. "I don't blame you. Chaeyoung is hot. And feisty. I'd bang her."

You nearly choked on your wine at her abrupt confession.

"Chaeyoung doesn't have rules like I do, I get it..."

"Hey, that wasn't the only reason I-

"You don't have to explain. What or who you do is none of my business." Momo said calmly.

Momo polished off her wine and crossed her legs.

"But you know...that rule is only for first dates. I don't have anything for a second date," she said with a playful grin. The two of you made sudden unbreakable eye contact.

"Is this...a second date?" you asked.

"You tell me..." she smirked.

"Well...we're alone, and we're drinking, and if I didn't know better I'd say you were flirting just a little bit."

"Only a little? Guess I need more wine in me."

Momo rested her empty glass on the marble table in front. She leaned back against the couch with a smugly satisfied look plastered on her face.

"Well this has been nice," Momo said abruptly

"It has. Are you kicking me out?" you teased.

"I could never. Not even if you were the drunkest client in the whole club."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Don't worry. Our date is just getting started."

Momo rose to her feet and carefully crawled over your lap before she took a seat down and straddled you, a smile etched across her full red lips. It was at this distance that you could see just how well Momo's shirt hugged her chest. You tried not to stare.

Momo bit her lips as she placed her hands on your shoulders, the sexual tension palpable as ever while you awaited her next move.

"If you're still trying to seduce me Miss Hirai, I have to let you know that's no longer necessary."

Momo blushed. "Seduce you? I would never."

Instantly betraying her words she slowly leaned in and you followed until your lips embraced, softly smacking against each other, tasting the wine on each other's lips. Momo's lips were unforgettably soft and warm, supplying a comfort as they pressed tight against your own as you wrapped your hands around her bare waist, the skin of her body warm and soft.

"I'm not used to taking the lead," Momo said as your faces were close enough to touch, taking in the intimacy of the moment.

"Then get used to it."

Momo's shyness twisted into confidence as she grabbed the hem of her shirt and peeled it off her tight body, leaving her ample breasts clothed in a lacy white bra that was every bit as elegant as she was. You noticed right away just how damn toned her arms were as if Momo needed another thing that made her even sexier.

She leaned forward to give you a good look of her plentiful cleavage, knowing nothing would stop you from staring at her sizable breasts.

"Do you like them?" Momo playfully asked.

"How could I not? I love them."

"Good," Momo said as she grabbed your wrists and guided your hands towards her scrumptious tits, helping you squeeze them. She whined as you both squeezed her breasts, and through the pesky constraints of her bra you could feel just how large and soft they felt.

"Take this off," Momo demanded, becoming more comfortable with being in control. You slid your hands around her slender waist, and at the same time buried your lips into the crook of her neck and sucked away on her sensitive skin. Momo whined again even cuter but had a sudden moment of panic.

"W-wait, you can't leave a mark. At least not where anyone can see," she giggled as you found the clasp of her bra and unhooked it, slipping it off her and freeing her perfect breasts as they bounced out of their restraints.

You didn't dawdle as you dove in, cupping both of Momo's delicious round breasts and squeezing, they fit into your hands perfectly as you kneaded them gently, the perfect softness and weight of them infinitely arousing you as they felt heavenly in your hands.

Momo's confidence turned into lust as you kissed each of her breasts, licking in between her generous cleavage before you turned and teased her nipple with your tongue, feeling it hardening as you flicked against it and earned a needy moan from her. Momo wrapped a hand around the back of your head as you continued your assault on her amazing breasts, licking and slurping away at both of her stiff pink nipples, encouraged by the continuation of her vocal approval as you stimulated her.

As you gave her chest a rest you felt your face being pressed against her big tits, Momo took the liberty to smother you in her cleavage. You had no complaints as you felt yourself being buried against what felt like the two softest roundest pillows in existence, and Momo couldn't help but giggle.

When she let go a small devilish grin washed over her lip as you explored every inch of her perfect round tits.

"You know...Momo means peach in Japanese," she said as her devilish lips formed a huge smirk on them.

"I did know that," you answered. "And it just so happens that peaches are one of my favorite fruits to eat."

Momo shoved herself off your lap, climbing on top of the table behind her. "Come eat me then. See how good I taste for yourself," she ordered.

Moving forward in your seat you quickly grabbed hold of Momo's shorts, unbuttoning and yanking the zipper down as you jerked them off her body, leaving her merely in a skimpy pair of muted pink panties.

You stared at Momo's clothed crotch like you were about to feast on an expensive steak, licking your lips at the mouth-watering sight.

"I've wanted to do this for so long. Ever since I first laid eyes on you and became your newest client. I've wanted you for so long, Momo."

"You can have me then. You can have all of me."

Momo leaned back with her ass resting on the edge of the table, spreading her delicious thighs and invited you in. You planted a soft kiss on each of her thighs and brought your mouth just in front of her crotch, licking a long stripe against the front of her panties that earned a soft gasp as you licked again, and again, and again, feeling the fabric becoming wetter with each swipe of your tongue.

"Don't tease me..." she whined, her voice plentiful of need and desire.

"You know that's just going to make me want to do it more," you said as you pressed one finger against the damp material of her underwear, tracing the outline of Momo as her panties became more and more ruined.

You let your focus drop from Momo's saturated panties and turned your attention towards her thighs, keeping a finger lightly pressed against the front of her core as you kissed and licked the soft delicate skin of one of her thighs, hearing cute whimpers escaping from Momo's lips as your tongue explored the skin.

"P-please..." Momo begged but you ignored her, intent on teasing her as you felt her panties becoming drenched. The desperation in her eyes was evident, but you didn't plan on stopping until you left at least one mark on one of those beautiful thighs, your lips sucking away until you had accomplished your goal.

You let Momo relax for a moment, eyes concentrated on the not so subtle wetness between her thighs, and when your patience ran out, you grabbed the ruined pair of panties and slowly peeled them off Momo's wide hips, pulling them down and disposing of them.

Momo's nude body was an absolute work of art, curves everywhere in all the right places along with full round breasts, killer thighs, and that amazing flat tummy. Her pretty pink pussy glistened with her juices, but before you could give yourself a taste you noticed the wine glass you had left on the table that still had just a bit of wine left.

You grabbed it and without any hesitation you tilted the glass over the naked midriff of Momo, pouring the leftover wine all over her perfect abs. Momo had a surprised look on her face but didn't seem to mind, nor did she as you slid your tongue over the surface of her abdomen, licking her clean of wine, making sure to not miss a drop as your tongue glossed over every inch of her tight stomach.

"Taste good?"

"Tastes even better now."

Momo seemed completely warmed up so you decided to forgo any more teasing, placing a palm on each of her warm thighs to help spread them wide, the delectable set of pink pussy lips in between whetting your appetite.

With a quick glance at Momo to seek approval, the desire and need in her round eyes let you know she was more than ready.

The empty club gave you all the time in the world, but you wanted to make every second count as you dove straight into Momo's pussy, taking the first taste as you gave her wet pink slit a slow long lick from bottom to top as Momo gasped.

You licked slowly in between Momo's wet folds, coating your tongue with her juices as you deliberately avoided her clit for the first few swipes, listening to the cute whimpers and moans that escaped from her that was the evidence of her satisfaction.

Momo's eyes closed as your tongue traveled slowly up and down her pussy, moving in between her delicious slippery lips until you finally reached her swollen clit, circling around it and flicking lazy strokes. Momo moaned loudly and you loved the look on her face as you pleased her.

You knew Momo needed more and you were happy to give it to her, flicking against her pink sensitive nub before taking her clit into your mouth, closing your lips around it and suckling it gently. Momo felt the pleasure immediately as her body jerked, and those constant whiny moans of hers became all the encouragement you needed.

"Oh my god that feels good...keep going..." she moaned, and nothing would keep you from eating Momo's pussy, keeping her clit in between your lips as you slurped on it messily, listening to the beautiful whines and whimpers as Momo lost herself.

"Fuck, oh fuck," Momo cried out as you devoured her delicious sensitive pussy. You felt the warmth of her soft thighs closing around your head, hearing the cutest of moans released with every movement of your lips and tongue, the scrumptious taste of her juices flooding your tongue encouraging you to never, ever stop.

Momo sat up just enough so she could reach a handful of your hair, running her fingers through it before grabbing on the back of your head, desperately trying to force your tongue even deeper inside her messy wet cunt. You kept eye contact with a very needy Momo, the pressure on her clit firm enough without being excessive, watching her becoming a squirmy mess with every flick of your tongue.

"I-i'm going to cum, don't stop, please don't fucking stop!" Momo cried out as you felt her thighs squeezing around your head even more, keeping you in the most perfect position.

It took no time at all for Momo to let loose, climaxing hard as her thighs shook violently around your head, toes curling and shrieking with pleasure. You struggled to keep your lips on her clit but did your best as Momo drenched your mouth and chin in her appetizing juices, letting her intense orgasm run its course as you lapped up every tasty drop she deposited into your lips.

When Momo came back down you gently removed your mouth and tongue from her clit, cleaning up her thighs as they loosened their grip and allowed you to breathe properly. You looked up at a still panting Momo, eyes glazed over and those delicious breasts heaving up and down as she recovered.

"You okay?"

"N-never been better."

You gently pulled Momo up by her wrists and leaned into another kiss, making her taste herself as she continued to catch her breath. Once she felt her senses regaining she looked up at you with a mischievous look upon her features.

"What?"

"You have too many clothes on," she said as she playfully shoved you back onto the couch.

Momo unbuttoned your shirt and helped you out of it as she slowly lowered to her knees, running a hand through her hair as she looked up. She practically ripped your pants off as she pulled them down and left you in your boxers, a sly look on her face as the bulge poking out met her.

She licked at your cock through your boxers with her wet tongue, leaving a damp spot as she traced the outline of your shaft dying to be released. She placed her lips at the head of your cock through the fabric, the familiar hot breath soaking through in a way that drove you wild already.

"I can tease too," she giggled as you felt the wetness of her tongue against the frustrating barrier of your underwear.

Momo didn't have your same patience though, she had a hunger that needed to be quenched. She made quick work of your boxers as she pulled them off your body, leaving both of you naked with piles of clothes everywhere. Momo's eyes went wide at your unleashed cock and she immediately grabbed it and slowly stroked, feeling every inch of it hard as a rock.

Momo placed her wet tongue flat at the base of your cock, slowly licking long stripes up and down your shaft. She knew already what drove you wild and she had the advantage now, flicking around your leaking slit before she traced alongside the sensitive head of your cock, smiling and keeping her eyes focused on you.

She made you wait as long as she needed to as she kept just a trace of contact on your cock with her tongue, moving her hand up and down your shaft lazily to keep you at her will.

"I'm going to make you feel better than you've ever felt before," she promised, and you felt the pressure of her full lips as she planted a kiss against the very tip of your cock.

Waiting one agonizing moment Momo parted her lips with your shaft, taking you into the warmth of her mouth once more. You moaned at the feeling of Momo's soft warm lips wrapping around your cock, the deep suction in her cheeks visible as she delivered pleasure in the form of a slow blowjob, lips moving forward just enough to please.

This must have been your lucky week, the second blowjob from a different hostess, each one feeling incredible and unique in their own way. As much you loved the sloppiness of Chaeyoung, Momo's blowjobs were on a whole new level - slow and sensual and infinitely satisfying. She loved for you to savor the warmth and wetness of her mouth as she took her time in building you up, letting you feel every electrifying pulse of pleasure shooting throughout your whole body.

You felt your shaft becoming wetter as Momo bobbed her pretty head up and down, moving with care as she let you feel as much of her mouth as she wanted you to feel, no more, no less. Her soft red lips moved with ease, coating your shaft with saliva as half of it entered her warm mouth. Momo did not like to keep her hands idle and began to caress one of your thighs, keeping the other with a firm grip on your cock as more than half of you entered her delicious mouth.

"God, Momo...that feels so fucking good...."

The praise helped, even if she knew what she was doing as she swallowed up your cock, hitting each of your sensitive spots that she knew about with the intent to reciprocate the pleasure you had given her, the gentle slurping sounds of her mouth as she sucked you off and made you feel weightless.

Momo really was an expert at this, and if she had wanted you to explode right then and there she would have made you and nothing could stop her. She took you inch by inch into her mouth until you felt her warm lips resting at the very end of your base, her lust-filled eyes staring up as she delivered the perfect amount of pleasure.

"Fuck, Momo..."

She kept control over you, not letting you relax for one solitary second as she hungrily took your cock in the very depths of her mouth again, and again, feeding on your needy moans as you melted away into the comfortable couch.  

Momo used her silky soft lips and held them at the very end of your wet shaft one more time, staring into the contorting features on your face as she filled her throat with your cock for as long as she felt you could take it, keeping herself pressed against your base with zero gag reflex.

She slowly withdrew with a drawn-out slurp as she feasted on every inch of you before releasing with a loud pop, leaving a messy sheen of saliva stained on your shaft as her hands replaced the grip her lips formerly held.

Momo pumped your messy shaft as you gasped for air, delighted with the talent she had shown.

"How do you want me?" she asked as she ran her warm slick tongue across your entire shaft.

"You're supposed to take the lead, it's your choice."

"Such a gentleman. I want..." She paused, cleaning up everything your messy shaft leaked out with her talented tongue.

"I want to ride you," she boldly said, standing and straddling you once more as you felt each of her muscular legs meeting your thighs.

"Then ride me, Miss Hirai."

Momo showed her approval as she grabbed your cock, stroking it a few times before she lined it up with her entrance as you both impatiently waited for what was next.

"This is going to feel so good. For both of us, I promise."

"You're sure about this, Momo?"

"I've never been more sure about anything. I want this, and I am going to get what I want."

Momo smiled and lifted her body, using your cock to tease the wetness between her slick folds. She looked at you, waiting and testing each other's patience as she lowered herself down, and you both gasped as you entered Momo's tight pussy for the first time.

The two of you shared lustful glances, a feeling like nothing else as Momo's silky wet walls parted with your shaft, letting herself sink onto your cock inch by inch until half of you rested inside her. The warmth and wetness of her tight hole like no other as Momo's pleasure mirrored your own and you both needed more.

"You're so tight, Momo. And wet. You're drenched."

"I only have you to blame for that," she grinned as she lifted herself back up, trying to take more of your cock.

"Take your time, Momo."

She shook her head impatiently. "No, I want to feel it all. I need to feel all of your cock inside me, just like how I felt it all in my mouth."

Her eyes had a serious look of desire in them, one that you hadn't seen before. One that you hoped you would continue to see.

"You feel so good already," she moaned, her eyes closed as she savored the feeling of being stretched out little by little.

Momo relaxed her body and lifted herself up once more, and you both knew what was inevitable. When the moment was right she lowered her hips, and you felt every inch of your cock penetrating her tight slick pussy,  juices and warmth enveloping all of your shaft.

"Oh fuck..." Momo moaned as she tilted back her head with neither of your bodies moving, both of you smitten with pleasure as she took the time to adjust. She slowly moved off your cock, her slick pussy lips keeping a tight grip as you watched only the tip of your cock remaining inside.

"Fuck this stupid rule, I should have slept with you last time," she said as she held onto your shoulders and slammed back down, impaling herself to the hilt again.

"No argument there."

Momo wrapped her arms around your neck and pulled you in close.

"We're going to make such a mess on this couch. It's a good thing it's leather," she giggled as she kissed you. She couldn't wait any longer as she began to move those sexy full hips, slowly riding your cock at a gingerly pace

She settled into a rhythm right away as her pussy gripped your shaft tight and refused to let go, her juices lubricating each motion with ease, those large beautiful breasts bouncing with every rock of Momo's hips.

"You feel so good inside me," Momo said.

"You feel good too. You're so beautiful, Momo," you replied as you watched the woman on top of your lap riding you, every curve on display, unable to peel your eyes off her perfect round breasts, their motion hypnotizing as they bounced in rhythm with Momo's body.

You couldn't help but fondle Momo's tits again, keeping your attention on them as you groped and played with them carelessly before using one hand and played with one of her stiff nipples, hearing her whiny moans increasing as she stepped up the pace and rode you faster, her thighs crashing against your own as you kept your hands full of her delicious chest.

"You ride me so well, Momo," you praised, but she was too far gone to respond. You let go of her breasts, content with watching them in motion as you held on to her waist, watching her features wrecked with pleasure, the sweat forming on her delicious body, and the way her pretty mouth stayed open as she delivered moans with every bounce.

Your cock was being drowned in Momo's slick juices, every inch saturated and soon you felt her wetness spilling onto your balls as her ass bounced on your crotch, keeping herself filled with every movement as the lewd slapping sounds of her filling her body with your entire cock intensified.

You felt Momo's hot breath against your ear as she whispered into it. "I love your cock so much. I don't ever want it to leave inside me. I'm going to keep riding you, and I'm not going to stop until I make you cum."

"Momo..." you moaned, and she only kept her pace faster, riding you without a care in the world

"Don't worry, it's safe. Whenever you need to cum just cum. Fill me all the way up."

Momo's lewd words only brought your arousal level all the way up as you snaked your hands around her waist and squeezed her plump round ass, still letting her do most of the work. Her hot dripping flesh clenched around your cock, and you felt her growing wetter with every bounce, moaning louder than you thought possible.

Momo kept the pace full speed, her warm thighs slapping against yours as your hands kept a firm grasp on her ass, squeezing delicate handfuls of the delicious flesh. Her pussy felt even tighter, her arms gripped tight, even more, and you both had gone long past your individual thresholds as it began to become too much to handle.

Momo spoke up first. "I-i, I'm going to cum!" she whined as she buried her face into your neck.

"Me too, Momo. You're going to make me fucking explode."

"Cum with me. Make a mess inside me, please," she begged.

It was impossible not to. With Momo's loud whiny moans in your ear, her beautiful big tits bouncing in your face and her pussy as tight as ever, it was too fucking much. You held onto her ass as she rode you wildly, only holding on long enough to let her reach climax first.

"I'm cumming!"

Momo shook violently as her walls pulsated around your cock, she squeezed your body tight as she came all over your cock, leaving a dripping mess that flooded your crotch, the intense pressure of her walls pushing you over that delicate edge from which there was no escape.

"M-momo, I-"

You groaned loudly as your cock throbbed and erupted inside Momo, filling her tight pussy with shot after shot of thick cum as you buried your cock and emptied your load deep inside her. Momo moaned as you unloaded every drop you had, and even when you both came down from your respective highs she kept you inside her cum filled pussy, your sweaty bodies pressed together and flushed in the afterglow of the act you had just performed on the expensive VIP couch.

You both looked at each other, tired, exhausted and ultimately satisfied with one enough. Momo's lips came in for one more lustful kiss before gingerly lifting herself off you, letting inch by inch release until she was no longer filled with cock but just the combined bodily fluids that slowly flowed out of her.

"You always cum so much," Momo proudly said, catching a breath, looking even more gorgeous as she was bathed in the afterglow of sex.

"You're the reason for that."

Momo grinned and lowered herself down again to clean off your cock, sucking and licking your sensitive depleted shaft and not wasting anything.

Once you were able to breathe again normally Momo broke the tired silence. "There are showers here we can use. Or..."

"Or...?"

"Or...we can shower back at my place," she smirked. "But we might be tempted to have another round if that happens."

"I guess we'll just have to take that risk."

It was a risk worth taking. The temporary shutdown of Club Mimosa meant you had the opportunity to be as selfish with Momo as you were able to. No greedy drunk businessmen to share her with for the next couple of days, and you planned to make every second of every day count.

Starting now.

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

Truly, Madly, Deeply

Master List

Hope this is what you were looking for! Thank you for requesting it!

~~

If you were being completely honest, your days were always long, and this was always caused by one group of 7 boys. Technically six, seeing as one of them was your boyfriend and didn’t count, but you definitely didn’t sign up for the others when you started dating their leader. You knew how many people would kill to be in your shoes, but that didn’t stop you from ending up exhausted most days. Sometimes, like today, you would wake up at 5:30 to join a few of the boys at the gym, and follow that by working an extra-long shift as a video editor, you’d get home almost 17 hours after you had woken up. All you wanted was a relaxing bath, a quiet dinner with your boyfriend, and an early night in.

Well, want in one hand, right?

Instead, as you opened the door to your apartment just past 9 pm, you were greeted with a full living room. 

“Hello, people who don’t live here.” You greet tiredly, a smile coming onto your face as they all cheer your name. JB stands to take your purse, greeting you with a kiss. “Hey, babe.” 

“You okay? You’ve had a long day.” He notes quietly, not wanting the boys to hear. “We can kick the boys out and head to bed early if you want.” You shake your head at his suggestion. 

“No it’s okay, I should have remembered it was movie night. Just let me get changed and I’ll be right out.” You give him another kiss, moving towards your bedroom. 

“Where are you going?” Jackson whines. “We just ordered pizza.”

“To get changed.” You call back, “This skirt is the furthest thing from comfy.” 

“It is sexy though!” Youngjae teases. The other boys laugh at his comment, and you definitely flip him off as you come back into the living room. You plop down between Yugyeom and JB, whining as the soreness of your legs hits you. 

“You alright?” Mark asks, dropping in front of you after putting the movie in the player. 

“Ask Jackson.” You grumble, “My thighs hurt like a bitch from this morning.” Jackson grins at you, while the others just laugh. 

“You seemed fine at lunch,” Mark notes, as you start running your fingers through his hair. 

“My muscles were still working then.” You explain. 

“Why?” Bam questions, looking away from his phone finally. 

“Heels.” You shrug. 

“No way, heels can’t be that much of a workout.” Jackson scoffs. 

“Oh?” You challenge, “You wanna try walking in my stilettos and find out?” Jackson shrinks a little, giving you a playful glare, to which you stick your tongue out at him. 

Once the pizza arrives the movie begins, and you’re almost falling asleep before the halfway mark. 

“Eomma.” Yugy whispers, shifting towards you, you lift your head from JB’s shoulder, dropping it on the younger boy’s.

“Aegi.” You respond as he lifts his phone to show you a dating profile. 

“I matched with these girls, and they both want to meet on Saturday.” He whispers, trying not to disturb the others. “Help me pick.”

“You could always go out with one this Saturday, and if it doesn’t work out, go out with the other one next week.” You offer, taking the phone from him to look through the profiles. “The blonde one is really pretty, but her ideal date is going for a walk. It's supposed to rain this weekend.” You explain, switching over to the other profile. “Oh, she likes coffee, you could take her to that little cafe down the street from yours and Bammie’s, the one with the bunnies.” Yugy nods excitedly, taking his phone back and immediately texting them. 

“You’re the best, Eomma.” He whispers, kissing your cheek before you shift back to leaning on your boyfriend. 

“Tired?” JB whispers, to which you nod. “I’ll have them head home after the movie.” 

When the movie is finally over, you have to practically peel yourself off JB in order to begin collecting plates and glasses, the other boys are too engrossed in their own things, even JB who was taking the empty bottles and pizza boxes out to the recycle bin. Jinyoung ends up being the one to help you, grabbing the dishes you couldn’t and following you into the kitchen. 

“Oh hey, are you on the Stray Kids project?” He starts, stacking dishes carefully on the counter as you begin washing them. You, Jinyoung, and Bambam all worked for the same company, a production company, but in separate departments. 

“Yeah, I’m a lead editor this time, why?” You hand him a cleaned plate, having him dry them so you didn’t have to do it in the morning. 

“I got promoted to their manager, I’m still trying to understand how their schedules look.” 

“Congrats.” You cheer, handing him another dish. “They’re really talented and smart kids, so I’m sure they’ll be pretty easy to handle. I mean you did really good with Day6.” 

“Day6 was different, they were a band, their performances could be closer together, and there are no dance practices.” “Well, if it helps, I’ll have their MV finished by the end of the week. The team meeting for it is on Thursday.”

“So that means teasers are going up soon,” He figures, to which you nod. 

“Yeah, if you want I can ask the team leader if you can join us for the meeting, we’ll be watching the video and mapping out what’s left to finish.”

“Yeah, that should be good. We should be thankful we’ve got some crazy talented kids, otherwise, this whole concept wouldn’t work.” He chuckles. 

“Right, I loved their other concepts, but I gotta say God’s Kitchen is definitely unique.” He sets the last plate in the cabinet as you dry your hands. 

“Will you text me the details for Thursday?” He asks as the two of you move to the living room where the rest of the boys are getting ready to head out. 

“No problem. I’ll talk to the team leader tomorrow and let you know by lunch.” 

“Thanks, you’re the best.” He smiles, leaning down to kiss you cheek. One by one as the boys leave the apartment, they press kisses to your cheeks, their long-standing goodbye ritual. You wave them off with a smile, shutting and locking the door, and when you turn around, you find JB standing just behind you. You jump slightly, not expecting him to be that close. 

“Oh Jesus, you scared me.” You laugh, lightly smacking his shoulder. He catches your hand easily and uses it to pull you close, his free hand cupping your cheek as he pulls your lips to his. It doesn’t take long before you’re melting into him, and when he lets go of your hand to pull you closer by the waist, your fingers tangle into his dark locks. The kiss has you stumbling back until you bump into the door, lips still tangled together. It's only when you’re forced to pull away for air that you stop. “Now I’m not complaining, but what was that for?” He simply tucks his head into your neck, pressing feather-light kisses there. 

“I just really love you.” He whispers, lips brushing against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. You hum, not really believing him. 

“I love you too, but what’s up?” You push him back slightly, looking at his face properly. He tries to hold back, but it only takes a simple pout from you before he breaks, hanging his head in defeat. 

“It’s just, you seem really close to the boys.” He sighs. 

“What do you mean?” 

“It's nothing, I’m just being jealous.” 

“You’re allowed to be jealous, but if something is bothering you tell me, please.” He pulls away more, moving to grab both of your hands. 

“Promise me you aren’t doing anything with any of the boys, that you never will.” The confusion must have been written on your face because before you could answer, he continued. “You just seem to be super close to them, closer than the two of us are sometimes. I mean, what was up with you and Jackson this morning?”

“I went to the gym with him, that’s all. I lost a bet with him a few weeks ago and I had to do one of his workouts with him.” You explain, leading him over to the couch to sit. 

“That’s it, you promise?”

“I promise.”

“What about Mark and Yugyeom? You went to lunch with Mark, and Yugy kissed your cheek, and you’re planning something with Jinyoung for Thursday right?” Worry is evident on his face, and in the way he grips your hand. 

“Mark was at the company today, looking for one of the members of Day6, he ran into me in the lunchroom and stayed to chat until my break was over. Yugy needed help planning a date, but if you don’t like him kissing my cheek, I’ll ask him to stop.” JB shakes his head, staring down at the couch. “As for Jinyoung, he and I are both working with the same group. He just needs some info about a team meeting at work on Thursday.” You explain. 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” 

“Hey,” You grab his chin gently, pulling it up to look at you. “Don’t apologize. You’re allowed to get jealous, I’m just happy you didn’t let this mess with our relationship.” You lean forward, kissing him quickly. “If you ever feel like this again, just ask. All I need to know is that you’ll let me do the same.” 

“Of course.” He nods, and you smile again. 

“Good, cause I am madly in love with you and don’t plan on letting go of you anytime soon.” A smile erupts onto his face at your words. “You are the only one I want, and unless there’s a world-ending apocalypse, it's going to stay that way.” 

“That’s good, cause I’m madly in love with you too.” 

When his lips press to yours again, the smiles on both of your faces are what cuts it short, though that doesn’t last long.

[hongnanglen-arina]

See You On Monday | SVT Interactive AU

06: The lost wallet

⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

Masterlist | Previous | Next

Warnings: a little angsty if you squint? Words: 1.638 A/N: Hey there! So here’s the sixth chapter of my little experiment and I’m sorry to say that but it’s the end... for now? Maybe I will continue it next year but I’m visiting family for the next couple of weeks so it’s better that way than making you wait although there aren’t many people reading it anyways hahaha. Sorry if it was boring. There are some things in queue so it won’t get quiet on this site. Anyways, here is part 6. As always, I hope you like it ♡

⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━ ⋅𖥔⋅

Wait, maybe the game has an autosave setting. Maybe you can continue where you left the game? Isn’t it often like this?

Determined to enter again and see how the boys are, you put on the VR glasses again and start the game. In the worst case scenario, you could just restart the game and change your previous decisions. To be completely honest with yourself, you can’t shake the thought off of you what the black pills were for.

And when the screen changes, there is really the possibility to choose ‘load’ instead of ‘new game’ only.

Without a second thought, you press ‘load’ and suddenly everything around you turns black again. Silence. When some seconds pass and you still can’t hear anything, you slowly get uncomfortable. You can’t see a thing. Turning your head around doesn’t help either.

“Hello?” You dare to ask but besides your breathing, it was still silent. 

Extending your arms, you try to feel something, carefully taking small steps forward when a familiar voice hits your sensitive ears.

“Welcome back. It’s a pleasure to have you back here with us.”

The narrator.

And all of a sudden you feel your anger rising up again. “Why did the game end without me doing anything? Why am I alone here and can’t hear them anymore. More importantly, how are they??” Your questions left your mouth faster than you’ve planned but now that you said them, you impatiently wait for an answer.

“The game ended because it was the end. Your end. You can’t hear them because they aren’t here. And what do you think, how are they, hm? Any idea?”

You aren’t only angry but now annoyance is adding itself to your emotions.

“What a stupid question. They must be fine!”

“Oh, there’s is no stupid question out there.��

“Whatever. So how are they?” You stand there, looking up in hopes to see anything but your eyes are still meeting the darkness.

“It has nothing to do with you anymore. You played the game and failed.”

“But I chose ‘load’. Doesn’t it suppose to transfer myself back to the last saving point?”

“And here you are. In this dark room. You came back so I can tell you again that it’s over for you.”

“What the hell!? You are kidding me! This game was too short! Also this end sucks!”

“Different decisions, different endings,” the low voice replies coldly, making you ball your fists.

“This is really a stupid game. Who the hell would pay for it?” You scoff and try to end the game again, having enough of this bullshit, when you hear the narrator again. “You. You payed for it.”

“Hah, I didn’t!”

“You did.”

Trying to remember if you are in the right or wrong, you cock your head to the side but it didn’t help you remember so you finally turn off the game. Somehow relieved when you are back in your living room, holding the VR glasses in your hands while you are met with the cover of the game.

“I really wonder how they are.. they sounded in pain at the end…” you ask yourself out loud but without awaiting an answer. You are alone at home and this was just a game. A really bad game to begin with.

Clicking through the menu and the settings, you open the Play Station store and you see it. You actually payed for it. 5 dollars.. for what? A demo? “This was a demo? What the hell???”

You stare at the screen in disbelief. There was no way you could understand the hype at uni about this game. Even you could have planned and created a much better game.

Shaking your head, you grab your phone and unlock it on your way to the kitchen, feeling very hungry all of a sudden. You see a message from your friend.

- Wow a full day without a sign from you. I guess you are playing the game. It’s awesome, isn’t it?? Let’s talk about it tomorrow, Nighty!

Tomorrow? A full day without a sign? There are literally question marks flying above your head after reading the text on your phone screen. You read it again. Maybe you read it wrong but no. Letting your finger swipe over your screen, you check the date and time and gasp loudly. Sunday, 8:42 pm!! 

Instantly your stomach growls and you cover it with your hand. How is that possible?? You just came back from uni and played the game for maybe 2 hours max. But two full days?! No way..

Still confused, you make yourself instant noodles and after a quick shower, you decide to go to bed. When you are in bed, the tiredness hits you hard. You didn’t know how exhausting the game was. The second you close your eyes, you immediately fall asleep and into a strange dream. You see the boys from the game. All 13. You even count them. You are all playing happily at the beach. The weather is beautiful, the sky blue with only a few small clouds. Feeling the sand in your shoes, you are about to take them off when Mingyu runs over to you.

“Y/n please take a photo of us. I will take one with you in it afterwards if that’s okay?”

“Oh sure!” Taking his camera, you wait until everyone stands in line, getting ready for the picture. They make grimaces and joke around but the fifth shot is okay, everyone smiling into your direction, you giving them a thumbs up. You switch positions with Mingyu and fill his spot beside Minghao but he thinks that you should stand in the middle so you switch places with Seungcheol as well, leaving Seungcheol to be in Mingyu’s place now. 

You look to the left and Wonwoo gives you a wide smile which you give him back wholeheartedly. You feel happy and as if you’ve known them for a decade. Hoshi’s hand settles on the small of your back, making you look to the other side, facing him. 

“Thank you for being here with us… miss ghost… miss y/n.” 

Your smile falters. “W-what?”

The loud sound of your clock wakes you up the next morning. What was this dream? Even after crawling out of bed and getting ready for uni, you are still not able to shake off the thoughts about your dream last night. It feels as if they said their goodbye to you and deep inside it makes you sad. You could have done a better job in helping them and changing the story but no. You failed. You died.. or worse, they died?

When you arrive at the campus, everything was the same, despite the thoughts of the game in your head. Also the memories of the strange dream. You halfway listened to the professors and even with your friends, you can’t find the motivation to sound interested. You feel sorry but hearing about uni stuff and about the subjects for the next exams? No thanks. And hearing the people around you talk about the game? Also, no thanks. You haven’t really processed what happened over the weekend and you still feel tired. It was definitely not enough sleep you think to yourself.

Only half an hour left and you can leave uni and go back home. The nice feeling of relieve filling up your tired body knowing that you can jump right back into bed again soon. That’s when you hear a voice two rows in front of you and absentmindedly your eyes follow the sound, sighting bored.

“What is this?”

“Oh, I lost my wallet. Haven’t bought a new one yet so this one has to do for now.”

“I see. Hope you didn’t lose a lot of money?”

“Believe me, I lost a lot. Photos, money, credit cards and the cards from the coffee shops! They were already full!”

Your eyes widen at his words. From your seat, you can only see the back of their heads but you are sure that you have heard those words before. The rest of the conversation isn’t interesting anymore nor tells you more about the person in front of you but you follow it anyways in hopes for more informations. 

Finally uni was over and you quickly excuse yourself to your friends that you have something really important to do, almost running after the boy from earlier because he already left the room after you were done packing up your stuff and separating yourself from your group of friends.

While you follow the boy, you try to find the right words. How should you talk to him? How should you explain yourself without sounding like a complete idiot. The fact that you aren’t the best in starting conversations with strangers makes you fear the confrontation even more.

You reach the main gate and stop in your tracks when you recognize the person who was waiting for the boy you follow, your heartbeat increasing. It was Wonwoo. The boy from the game. You are 100% sure. He wears a long black coat but around his neck is that familiar white scarf you’ve seen before. As the boy reaches him, he pats him on his shoulder and hands over a white paper bag when he looks over his shoulder, locking eyes with you.

His brow twitches and all you can do is to stare at him in sheer confusion. The boy from your uni turns around and your mouth opens a little. It was Seungkwan. But when he sees you, he turns back to Wonwoo again. Oh yeah, he never saw you in the game.. but Wonwoo did. And his expression shows you that there is something unspoken between the two of you.

The tiredness in your body is long forgotten.

[hereyougopeanutbutter]

Winners

Winners

 Pony stays in the other section of the building. She said it was a different Panda division but when I asked her what it looked like she texted back ‘worktables with beds, there are about 24 others and no one talks’

The same as in my section. There are 20 of us. And about 50 writing tables. I’m in the front on the left, close to the door. The walls are covered with brown wooden panels dating back to the previous century I believe, in the corner long rectangle speakers and on the front wall two ShunSha LED screens which tell us the weather and switch to the Panda statement, our commitment to Panda and the recognition we will get if we get through. I turn my eyes away. I better focus on what I need to do.

In the morning, they serve breakfast on the side of the room, on large tables. White and brown bread with marmalade, peanut butter, and chocolate sprinkles with butter on shelves. Slices of cheese and bacon in plastic containers. Same at noon. For supper, big pans of stew are rolled in, with whitebread and spoons.

We are not allowed to go to the sleeping section after 8.30 am. In the evenings, everybody crashes on their beds, grabs their cell phones, some bottles of alcohol or other drinks, some smoke cigarettes from the windows in the toilets. I don’t pay attention to them, most of the time I’m in bed right after  8 pm.

 In the morning I eat my sandwich, I like the marmalade and I eat a sandwich while I prepare a peanut butter and gelly one for while I’m working. It’s not allowed but they let me. I also keep my phone with me while working.

“Reached 40,000” Pony texted, “revision going well?”

“Edited up to six chapters, think I’m going to make it.”

“Good. Good. Think of you, go go go Pigtails, love you”

“Need help?”

But Ponytail doesn’t answer. 40,000 words and only 3 more weeks to go.

   In the morning the fear that filled my heart the evening before comes up almost instantly when I wake up. I dreamt about her, how we were swimming in the roaring waters of the Mississippi. “M-I-S-S-I-S-S-P-P-I,” she said as water gulped in her mouth. “Pony, you need to swim, cut the crap” I shouted. “M-I-S-S…” but she didn’t get any further, the part of the river was loud and I had a hard time pulling her up above the water and keeping alive myself.

My little sister, Justine, the tiny baby born when I was four. Her body frame stayed small and frail. When she was young she started calling me Pigtails instead of Amanda. I liked pigtails in my hair. Tamara became Pinky, Tamara loved her pink leggings. She asked Justine how we should call her and Justine fluttered the peaking hair on her head. Mom had tried to created ponytails on either side of her head. “Ponytails!” And from that moment on we were there, ponytails, pigtails and pinky, later Pony, Pig and Pinky.  

“You’ll get it done?” I text. The ward comes in slamming the bell and just to avoid the noise everybody walks to their working tables to start up their word processors, ugly old Dynamics. Mine hums during the day, I listen to it as the clicking of my keys moves along.

“Get started sunshines, poop out the books and go for the million!” the ward shouted as loud as he could over the bell. “People are anxious for your books, com’on, we’re halfway there, three more weeks!”

My phone buzzes “I might”.

 On the wall the screen turns on, bright white, two of them showing one image, the table with the chair, cut in half by the black plastic borders of the SunShu. But we know. Fear sets in the group, we all look around and count. We are still with 20. It must be from the other group. I look at my phone but the ward is still close and he might see me. My fingers slowly tick on the screen ‘y-o-u 0-k-a-y?’ and press send. Pony sends back a ‘y’

The Panda declaration about how we signed up for writing the next bestseller comes up. How we committed to a good sellable story and how the first draft was due in 6 weeks with at least 100,000 words. Panda would help us. Panda guarantees sales of 50,000 copies to all Panda members around the world and oh just so you know Panda has 31,000 active daily accounts. Daily

“We will change your life” it then said. One sentence. “And you agreed we could have it if you fail”

 I don’t recognize the person. She fights the two men who hold her upper arms, we hear ‘No, no!’ but the men guide her to a table where her head is pushed down on the table. A third person behind the chair walks up and pushes the muzzle again the back of her neck. I close my eyes and try not to hear the echoing bang.

 My editing work goes in trembling episodes that day. The killings. The killing is a condition. Panda’s idea of motivating. I think of my mother. I think of Pinkytail and Ponytail, Pinky who went into options trading, and Pony who said she could write a winning Panda book but said last week she was struggling, I can’t worry about her because I need to get my book done.

 This is my second run. I got through the first run and went home. They all hugged me. The money, Panda’s money was in my bank account already, 99,000 dollars. Pinky hugged me and we both cried. We didn’t tell Pony but let her tag along when we picked up mom’s wheelchair, the three of us in the truck, singing and laughing. Pony cried when I paid for the wheelchair in the store, asking ‘where did you get the money, where did you get it?’ and I said I finished a Panda session. Pony burst out in crying. Couldn’t stop. Even in the car home she kept saying ‘That’s where you were, I was wondering what happened. You could have been killed Pigs, don’t ever do that again!” But I hugged her and we both cried. We bought cranberries at the farm store and we ate ice cream on the bench, we overlooked the land and the sun shone, we looked at each other and there was nothing more than love and gratitude. They didn’t know I had already signed up to go back. The edited version – once approved by Panda – would pay me $499,999.-.

Enough to buy mom and all of us a new future. We could move.

 The next day, I wake up refreshed. I am not sure what has caused this but I decide to take the sweep of energy and get to work at my desk. The others complain and wipe their eyes, two of them pout about not hitting their targets but I block it out. Two double sandwiches, one with cheese and bacon, the other a peanut butter and gelly sit on my desk. I work through two chapters stringently blocking out the ward with the bell, blocking out my hunger and my tea getting cold. I read the words and weigh them in my head, re-create sentences and my muse works in the background, it’s just him and me. When I take a sip of my tea I notice it’s cold. I take a bite of my sandwich, afraid I will lose the zone I’m in if I eat more. I write like I did when I was younger, pumping out words that came to mind, the movie continued endlessly and went as fast as my fingers could keep up. For my mom. My mom, I see her at her sewing machine, winding a bobbin and working on my favorite blouse.

Before lunch I have 8 chapters done. They bring in the lunch, the bread, the bacon, and the cheese. I ate my breakfast about an hour ago but I’m hungry again.

“They brought me in,” Pony’s text says.

My hands tremble. Pony got her warning. “How far are you?”

“40k”

I look at my phone. She was at 40k yesterday, she was supposed to be at at least 50,000 words.

“You said you could do it”

“I’m scared Pigs”

Fear fills my gut. I panic. They read her work last night, they always do. Based on their algorithms they have determined Pony is in the danger zone and she needs to make up at least 50%. There is one next warning. I think of Pinky and the story I was writing on at home.

 I looked to the others in my room. Some are comfortable. With headphones in and others biting their nails as they write, some panic, some pound out the words. I text Pony but she doesn’t answer back.

 I eat lunch. My brain is on overdrive. I walk around the room, it’s air-conditioned but the weather outside is warm. Then Pinky texts me. I cannot look at my phone at the lunch table when the staff is there so I need to get to my desk. I chew quickly and glob down some tea. I try to make it look casual as I walk to my desk and start to type a document so it seems I’m back to work.

Pinky says: “I sent you the story, does Pony know how to decrypt? If they find out…” I see the paperclip friendly blinking in a corner. I only have to resend it to Pony. But then the door opens and Simone steps in, she looks at me with an iron smile saying ‘Come with me please’. I freeze. The others are silent and I don’t know what’s wrong. I go into the office where I signed my contract with Panda, I remember sitting here, the pen on a chain is still there.

“We are following your progress, Amanda. You are doing very well and we wondering if you’d be done by next week at this pace?”

I look up to Simone. There must have been a beautiful woman at one point I guess. Now she turned older. And less caring.

“Don’t I have 2 more weeks?”

“You do, you do. But we can get in print quicker if you want”, Amanda twists her pencil, “there could be a bonus.”

I’m silent.

“You’ll get 50,000 more”

I overthink the situation. Suddenly I don’t care about the money anymore and grab all my courage “How much does it cost me to get Pony out?”

“And your work is done?”

Is she going to say they’d take my book and we both walk? I would agree. But no matter how hard it is to stay quiet, I say nothing.

Simone doesn’t need to talk this over, she makes the decisions herself. I wonder if she is maybe the manager of Panda Books herself. She says, “Finish her story as well?”

I do the math. Two weeks and some days to finish the story. They read Pony’s story so I have to go with that, I can’t change it. I think.

Panda publishes the “Dead Man’s Anthology”, the stories from the killed authors. Unfinished stories. It sells like crazy, sometimes better than the books of the winners. Panda is in for the money. The killing is a marketing tool for them. They are the only ones with a license from the government on the condition that Panda pays the family of the writers 30%.

If I can’t produce 30,000 words per week I’ll die. With Pony. While we came here to save our mother. Get a better life. If we were to stay over the weekend I’d have to finish my book and write another 5000 words on Pony’s story. My answer not only determines the rest of my life. Pony’s as well.  And the rest of the family.

Then Simone looks up. “It looks like you don’t have to decide Amanda, your sister has committed to finishing the story, I just got the message.”

“Committed?”

“She is at work right now and their ward says she’s doing good.”

I leave. Get back to my desk, the others look at me. I was never aware Pony was there until she texted me on the first day, four weeks ago. I was shocked. She said she had hoped she would in my group but Panda put her in the other group. Panda made publishers aware that they had two of the Peterson sisters writing stories and there were betting games on who would sell the best books. But Pony wasn’t a writer. Pinky read hers once and said it was fluff. She wouldn’t survive Panda’s One Million Dollar Writing Camp. But on the first day already had 30 million viewers per day. Sales skyrocketed. Said Pinky.

 ‘Why are you here?” I asked

“I want to help you. Do what you do”

“You’ll get yourself killed”

“You didn’t get killed.”

And I almost wanted to write ‘I can write’ but I didn’t. I didn’t sleep that first night. My sister Ponytails was here too, I tried not to get sick but it cost me 2 days to stop thinking about Pony.

 Pony didn’t answer my texts after my meeting with Simone. I finished my book four days early and Pinky kept me in the loop about the contest on the outside. Bidding was way up in my favor.

 I make the last revisions to my story. The bright white screen comes on every day but I ignore it. I push the ear-thing inside my ear every time so I can block it out. I block out the ward in the morning as I revise my story.

Pinky tells me Pony and I are tied. I block that out as well, this is madness, I will never sign up for a Panda writing if we make it out alive.

On the last day, the screen comes on but now it’s black.

We look at each other, 17 left from our group.

From the screen in high definition I can hear Pony ‘I couldn’t make it. Go Pigtails, go’ and the click is silent but deafening. I scream, I cry, They killed Pony? They killed my sister! We were tied!

 My book sells well.

Pony’s sells better. It was the only one sold as a separate book. Pony’s share floats into our bank account.

Panda’s show brings in millions.

My family moves. We do get a better house, and my mother gets better. We bury Pony, Pony gave us a better life. Pony outsmarted us all.  

[bellemorte180]

The Halfway Point

There is no time limit on grief; but sometimes the words from an old friend make it slightly more bearable.

The Halfway Point 

The halfway point. She didn’t realize she picked it until after she was already on the road. The only thing she could process in her mind was the burning of her mother’s letter, Liz’s final words to Caroline; and never getting to really say goodbye. It ripped and clawed at Caroline’s insides to the point that she just couldn’t stand looking at the town her mother loved so much.

She needed to run.

Call it cowardly or weak but Caroline could no longer bask in her mother’s presence after everything she had done. She needed to get away and for the first time, no one seemed to question her. No one seemed to want to stop her from leaving. Perhaps it was because it was temporary. She would be back; in a day, a week or even a month but she would turn her car back around and drive back to Mystic Falls. Maybe she would make Jo and Alaric’s wedding, maybe she wouldn’t.

For the first time in a long while, Caroline was going to be selfish. So, she drove past the sign heading out of Mystic Falls. She drove down the highway heading south, and it wasn’t until four hours in that she picked up her phone and set a message to a number she never used.

[Caroline 8:32 pm]: Atlanta, Georgia [Emergencies Only 8:33 pm]: When? [Caroline 8:33 pm]: 4 hours [Emergencies Only 8:34 pm]: I’ll be there

Perhaps she should have turned to Stefan. He was still her best friend and he did walk he through everything with her mother and turning off her humanity; he was even there after he switched his back on. But she ruined everything. She forced him to turn off and they did horrible to each other and to their friends. They had sex. Whatever the status of their friendship was, it was irrevocably changed, and Caroline was not in the mindset to deal with that; not yet.

She passed Georgia’s Stateline a little after midnight. She did not stop, not once. She kept going until she was within Atlanta’s city limits. She stopped her car a few blocks down from the SkyView Ferris Wheel. When she was a little girl, her father had always promised he would take her on it in order to fight her fear of heights.

He never did.

Part of Caroline wondered if she should have told him a location to meet her, but she knew he would find her. He was uncanny like that; to know where she was and what she needed. Instead she just sat on the first bench she saw, overlooking that giant Ferris wheel. She waited and it was not long before she felt his presence sit beside her. He said nothing at first, just letting her stare off into the distance and Caroline had never been more grateful.

“When I was six years old, there was a founder’s festival in town. They had this Ferris wheel and I was terrified of it. I refused to get on it. The thought of going up that high, looking down…I was sure I was going to fall.” She laughed lightly but there was no joy in her tone. “My father promised to bring me here. He promised to take me to the very top and that we would look down together. He said that there was nothing to be afraid of.”

“And did he?”

“No. He didn’t. He broke almost every promise he ever made.” The tears started lightly; slowly. She didn’t notice them at first, not until he reached out and wiped them from her cheeks. “I always relied on him and he never came through. When I was turned into a vampire, he tortured me. Literally chained me to a chair, took off my daylight ring and burned me with the sun.” She could see his fist clenching in anger. He had not been aware that her own father tortured her; it was before he really knew her. Despite his anger, he remained silent. “It was my mom who saved me. Tyler was there but it was my mom who held a gun on my father, a man she loved until her dying day, in order to save me.”

“She was an impressive woman. She didn’t back down from a challenge. She was strong and willing to do anything for you, even to invite a one-thousand-year-old hybrid into her home if it meant saving her daughter.” Caroline shot him and look, and he gave her a dimpled smile. “Admittedly, it was my fault, but it still impressed me, nonetheless. As did her daughter.”

“Klaus?”

“Yes love?”

“Thank you. For coming.” Klaus just reached over and took her hand into his. It wasn’t sexual or anything romantic. The last time they had been together was wild, passionate and a memory they both looked back on fondly; one that they knew would someday be repeated in the distant future. She looked over to him and it was as though the dam broke inside her. “My mom is dead.”

The tears flowed down her cheeks and Caroline could no longer control the emotions coursing through her. It became harder to breath; feeling as though there was no oxygen left for her. There was a clutching hollowness in her chest that she wanted to claw at. She wanted to rip her own skin from her bones; burning it until there was nothing left. The darkness was filling her up inside and there was no light at the end of the tunnel.

The hollow feeling that she had been holding in since the moment she turned her humanity back on consumed her. All the emotions she wanted to get past flooded her. She told Elena that she would turn it back on in a year, when the worst part was over. What she did not realize that she only stalled the inevitable. Those emotions would be there no matter how long she had that switch flipped. If anything, the nauseating feeling of loss was worse than it had been the day of the funeral.

At some point, Klaus pulled Caroline onto his lap. He cradled her to his chest, kissing the top of her head and whispering sweet nothings to her; hoping that perhaps he brought a small amount of comfort to her. He could not remove her pain and he would not even attempt it. He understood grief; all he could do was be there and be what she needed. With Caroline, it was impossible for him to be selfish.

Longer than she was willing to admit, she let herself be held by him; taking in the scent he provided and the comfort he was willing to offer. Klaus was never the villain of her story and she would never admit it to those back in Mystic Falls, but Klaus understood her better than anyone.

Except, perhaps Liz Forbes.

“How are you Sweetheart?” Klaus whispered to her once the tears subsided. His long fingers where drawing invisible lines down her back. His mere touch brought her back from that black void she had been in moments earlier. She buried her face into his neck and nodded, still unable to speak. She wrapped her arms his shoulders and just brought him closer to her. He just rocked her until she told him to stop. He would sit on that uncomfortable bench until she told him to move; even if it took a hundred years.

“Why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like someone dug into my chest, ripped my heart out and lit in on fire in front of me to watch?” She sniffled, bringing the back of her hand to her nose. It was unattractive but she didn’t care. Klaus reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a handkerchief that Caroline would have bet anything actually belonged to Elijah. “It did not hurt this bad when my dad died.”

“Can I tell you something, even though you don’t want to hear it?”

“Okay.”

“There is nothing I can say to take your pain away. There is no magic spell or words that will erase the pain.” He kissed the top of her head. “You lost your father and you bounced back far stronger than anyone expected you too because that is who you are. But the truth is, you still had you mother to fall back on; and she was the constant parent in your life. Your father broke every promise he ever made to you, but your mother was your backbone-even all those times she stayed late at the station. She would have burned hell itself to save you. That kind of love never dies Caroline. The pain you’re feeling now, it will never go away. That kind of grief will live with you, but the magic trick is learning to live with it; and learning to live despite of it.”

Caroline nodded. Klaus was right, this was not what Caroline wanted to hear. She wanted him to tell her that one day she would wake up and everything would be better. That the world would right itself and that she could go home one day to see her mom, sitting at the kitchen counter drinking a strong cup of coffee because she just pulled an all-nighter at the station. Yet, it was never going to be that way again. Her mom was gone, and that empty part of Caroline would remain.

Yet, it was better than the empty condolences she received at the funeral. It was better than Damon’s eulogy and Elena’s voice of understanding. It was better than Stefan’s persistent need to fix her or even the never-ending casseroles sent by countless people in town. They all meant well, Caroline knew that, but it was not what Caroline needed to hear. She knew they tried but she shut them out, turned off her humanity and refused to listen to anything they had to say. Even now, that she had her humanity back, she could not stand to see their pity and sympathy. In truth, Caroline did not know what she needed; she just knew that Klaus was that she wanted in that moment.

“Can’t you compel me to not feel the grief?”

“I could, but I won’t.”

“I knew you would say that.” Just as Klaus knew her request wasn’t genuine. “No offense but your parents were really shitty. How did you become the expert in grieving the loss of a parent?” Caroline asked causing Klaus to chuckle.

“Because I am a father myself.” Klaus replied simple and Caroline almost smiled at that. Looking at him now that her tears had dried on her cheeks, she could see that no matter what happened in his life; Klaus loved his daughter. “I understand everything Liz did for you because I hope to one day be as good of a parent as she was to you.” He leaned in closer. “But if you say that to anyone, I’ll have to rip your heart out.”

Caroline gave a sad smile, knowing that Klaus was rarely this honest or open with anyone; but she knew they had a bond that went beyond a simple bracelet, a gorgeous dress or even a tryst in the woods. They had an open understanding with one another, and they would always be honest with one another. Caroline sent a watery look to him and the tears began to fall again. Klaus just held her hand, allowing the fresh round of tears to subside.

Out of the blue, Klaus stood and turned towards her. He held out his hand and without thinking, Caroline placed hers into his. He pulled her into his arms, and she looked up at him with curiosity burning in her eyes.

“What are we doing?”

“I’m showing you that there is nothing to be afraid of.” With that, Klaus pushed off the ground and Caroline suddenly found herself at the top of the Ferris wheel. Quickly, he broke open a door to one of the black containers and ushered Caroline inside. It was dark inside but with her vampire vision, Caroline could see perfectly. She took a seat on the bench and Klaus sat down beside her.

“What do you see?” It was a loaded question; they both knew that. There were skyscrapers and lights filling the city despite the fact that it was the early hours of the morning. If she listened, she could hear the sound of the highway, ambulances racing down the busy streets and even the voices of people who were enjoying the late night.

“Life. I see life.”

“See. Nothing to be afraid of.”

“Actually, I think your wrong. I think life is the scariest thing out there. Because without it, we wouldn’t have the monsters, the pain and all the terrible bullshit that comes along with it.” Caroline said and the corners of Klaus’s lips turned upward. “But what is even scarier than all of that is the good moments. The laughter and joyful events. A dance or a tryst in the woods.” That made Klaus’s cheeks burn ever so slightly. “They are all terrifying but worth every minute.”

“And that is why you’re Caroline Forbes. The woman who will one day take over the world.” Klaus replied and Caroline gave her first genuine laugh he heard since the moment he sat down on that bench. He put his arm around her shoulders, and she rested her head against his chest. They stayed in that small compartment, swinging on a ferries wheel that was not moving, and just watched the city below. Neither were willing to move, but she knew that come morning, Klaus would have to get back to New Orleans and back to his daughter. Yet, there was something else she needed to get off her chest.

“I slept with Stefan.” The words came tumbling out and Klaus shifted slightly to look at her; raising his eyebrow. He did not seem angry or hurt. If anything, he seemed amused instead of jealous. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. I’m sure you haven’t been a boy scout. You’re the one with a baby. Not me.”

“No love, I most certainly have not been a boy scout.” Klaus chuckled. “I’m merely surprised. Stefan is just not someone I would have seen you choosing. That is all.” Caroline gave him a confused look. It was true, when she was human, she wanted nothing more than for Stefan to notice her; or anyone to notice her really. Yet, here she was back at that point waiting for the guy to notice her. “Do you love him?”

“I don’t know.” She looked down at her hands and played with her daylight ring. “I turned my humanity off. I killed a bunch of people and forced Stefan to turn his off as well. We pretty much went on a spree together, fucked and then he got his emotions back. Even after everything I did, he was still the patient Stefan, trying to…I don’t know. Get the old me back.”

“Caroline, there is no getting the old ‘you’ back.” Klaus replied gently. “That girl you were before your mother died is gone. You changed, grew and learned in the only way life can teach you. I am not the same man I was a thousand years ago, and you will not be the same girl in a thousand years to come; but no matter who you become or what life teaches you; you will be magnificent. No matter the size of the body count.” She gave him a watery smile. “Do you regret it?”

“Sleeping with Stefan?” Klaus nodded. “Yes. I do.”

They both could read between the lines. No matter what Caroline’s feelings where for her best friend, the manner that they first slept together would always be a mistake to her. It would be something she would always regret. Yet, they both knew that the time Caroline and Klaus spent together in the woods behind the Boarding House would be a treasured memory. The petty side of Klaus was proud of that fact and Caroline would allow him to have that.

They said nothing more on the subject of Stefan or anything at all. They just sat in silence, watching the sun rise over Atlanta. Soon enough, the rays lingered over them and they knew they would have to leave the Ferris wheel, or they would have some serious compelling to do. Much like before, Klaus took Caroline into his arms and jumped from the compartment and softly landed them on the ground.

He held out his hand and Caroline happily took it. They strolled the now busy streets until they reached her car. She stood beside it, unsure of what she should do. Should she get into her car and drive off? Head back to Mystic Falls or to parts unknown? Klaus could sense her uncertainty.

“The offer stands. You will always have a place in New Orleans. It is one of my favorite places in the world.” Caroline started to laugh, his dimpled grin only making her laugh harder. It felt cathartic. “There is food, music, art, and culture. I would love to show it to you.”

“Play the step-mom alongside you and Hayley?” She smirked at him. “Tempting but I’m not ready for that.” Klaus held up his hands, not offended because he knew the answer before the words left his lips.

“Well then, I do have a private jet at my disposal. Say the place and I will have you jetting off on your very own adventure.” Alone. The word was unspoken but they both knew what he meant. She was not ready for Paris, Rome or Tokyo. Yet, he was offering her a way to deal with her grief in a way she would not have in Mystic Falls.

“Thank you but no.” She took a deep breath. “Alaric is getting married and I think they would like it if I was there. I think I’ll take a small road trip, make a few stops but slowly go back to Mystic Falls.” She took a deep breath. “I’m not done with Mystic Falls just yet. Maybe one day I’ll take you up on that voicemail, but I think I need to have a few more…. I don’t… experiences first?”

“Of course. Just know you’re always welcome in my home Caroline.” Klaus leaned in and kissed her cheek. He slowly turned and walked away. She watched him retreat from her. She was about to get into her car when he froze and turned towards her. “The day of your graduation. I meant what I said. Tyler was your first love. Whatever you decide you feel for Stefan, I still intend to be your last, however long it takes.”

Klaus flashed off then and Caroline was left standing in the middle of Atlanta with a sad smile on her lips.

In the end, when Caroline gave birth to her twins, she would think back on Klaus’s words to her; about what it meant to be a parent and what they want for their children. She ended up marrying Stefan; a human Stefan. One that died to save Elena on the day of their wedding. She helped Klaus track down his daughter and save her from the hollow. He helped her scourge the earth to prevent the merge between her daughters. In the end, when their children were all grown and the two of them sat in a small café in Paris, fingers linked together, Caroline would replay his words to her.

No matter how old she became or how long she lived; the memory of Liz would always linger in the back of her mind.

The trick was learning to smile in spite of the grief that would always remain.

A/N: So. I was trying to write something happy (part 2s of my one shots from Klaroline week) but I'm really not in a place emotionally to write anything of the sort. I tried and failed. Hopefully, I can finish the light and fluffy stuff I started...or even work on "Maybe One Day" but it's just not coming. This however, flowed. Just Good Business flowed and I think it's because I can relate to what the characters are feeling compared to writing something happy that brings a smile to peoples faces. I’m just not there yet. Hopefully you all can deal with my angst writing because I'm afraid that might be all you're going to get for awhile.

[letmeletmetrashyourlove]

Indiana

Summary: One argument leads to another. Billy betrays his childhood sweetheart’s trust. 

Authors Note: Written with the song Konstantine by Something Corporate in mind. 

REQUESTS OPEN

PART TWO

I like song requests like this one, I can just kinda write as it comes to me instead of trying to go off a promt.

FEEDBACK ALWAYS APPRECIATED, ESPECIALLY IF YOU DIDNT LIKE IT. I always strive to make my work better (seriously, you can roast me if you want to )

I swallowed my pride as I shoved my hands into my pockets. Billy and I argued when he told me he was moving to Indiana. I made accusations that it was because of him getting into trouble at school. A switch in him just flipped when he discovered his parent's split. He had never been a particularly sociable guy, always explicit and abrasive. But he diverted from carrying it inside to taking out on other people. I couldn’t even count on all my fingers how many quarrels he had gotten into at school in the past year. One kid bumped into him in the hallway and he lost it, knocking the poor boy to the ground and breaking his nose. It was some kind of blessing that the principal hadn't expelled him yet. Or maybe it was the fact that his father came in and berated the principal every time there was trouble. His new stepsister and I met only a handful of times. She was sweet, and honestly, hilarious. Billy didn’t see her in the same light that I did. He regarded her as a pest, somewhat to blame for the separation.

Despite all that happened, we were childhood friends that grew into something more. I always had his back, and he always had mine. Whether or not we stayed together, I needed to apologize for what I said.

I tiptoed up the steps, peering in through the window. There was Billy, on the couch with another girl. His pants were discarded, and she straddled his lap.

Everything we’d gone through together flashed through my mind as I neglected to avert my eyes.

I rang the doorbell, causing them both to jump. I presented myself in the window, throwing them the middle finger before taking off back towards my car. Yelling burst from inside the house until Billy stumbled out, still struggling to pull his jeans on over his legs.

     “Y/N, wait!” He called.

    “No.” I growled, whirling around to face him  “No.”

I backed away from Billy as he approached me with his arms open. Neither of us knew what to say.

    “Y/N.” He uttered, tears springing into his eyes.

    “No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no.” I repeated, my brain not able to come up with anything more substantial. I placed one hand over my mouth as the tears sprang out onto my cheeks.

    “That wasn’t what you thought it was.” He insisted, reaching out for my hand.

    “No! Don’t- Don’t fucking touch me.” I cried, swatting his hand away and turning on my heels, sprinting away from him.

    “Y/N!?” He screamed after me, following me close behind.

My mind reeled, flying back to all those nights we had spent on my couch with him sobbing into my shoulder about his father beating him senseless. Cleaning him up after fights. Laughing while watching movies. Playing boring ass board games that always ended in us making out. Attempting to do group projects that always ended in us arguing. Falling asleep on each other after a long day. Our blissfully oblivious innocence had suddenly been ripped out from underneath me like a rug, sending me into a freefall.

Was any of that even real? Was he pulling the same shit on other girls? Was I not enough for him? Was I his first choice or was I further down the list?

He caught my wrist, pulling me back toward him. I pushed off his chest, trying not to show the tears that were streaming down my face.

    “Let go of me!” I exclaimed, straining against his grip. He never once laid a hand on me in a way I wouldn’t want. He feared turning into his father, but that fear had either gone, or was buried deep under his emotional trauma.  

    “Please, please, don’t go.” He pleaded, “Please, you’re the love of my life.”

    “Fuck you.” I spat through gritted teeth, yanking my wrist out of his grip as I pulled my keys from my bag and got into my car.

I laid on the horn as I threw the car into reverse, speeding off down the road. The headlights turned into starbursts as the tears flew from my eyes. I frantically wiped them away as I blew through at least one stop sign on the way home.

I couldn’t cry anymore. Exhaustion was beginning to sweep over me just as there was a knock at my door. I knew exactly who it was, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to ignore it. But my body moved without my mind’s permission, dragging me to the front door. I glanced through the frosted window, seeing the outline of a figure dressed in denim.

    “Why are you even here? What else do you want from me?” I shouted at him through the door.

    “I came here to ask you to go to Indiana with me!”  

I yanked the door open, so hard I was afraid I would pull it right off its hinges. Go to Indiana? He can’t possibly expect me to drop everything and go with him. Especially not after tonight.

    “Go to Indiana with you!? I just caught you about to fuck some other girl!” I screamed, tears that I thought were depleted returning to my eyes.

To be honest, before I saw him with her, I would have considered it. So what if I was 17, I could finish my senior year, go to Purdue and study god knows what. Do what our parents did, marry our high school sweethearts and start a life there. Sure, it seemed far off, but I could think that far ahead with him. He had been such a constant, I couldn’t imagine him not remaining in my life.

    “I can’t go without you…” He admitted, rocking back and forth on his heels. He had yet to look me in the eyes.

    “You know how much shit I put up with for you?” I snarled, “How many times I wanted to leave?”

I flashed back to some drunk asshole at a party who stumbled up to me and spilled his drink on my top. I was annoyed, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Billy, though, he thought differently. The next thing I knew the kid was pinned on the floor as Billy wailed on his face. The only reason he stopped was because the cops came.

    “I know, I know-” He began.

I didn’t care to let him elaborate. Nothing he could say would make me change my mind. Nothing he could say could make me forgive him. And there damn well wasn’t a thing he could say to convince me to go with him.

    “I thought maybe you being such a jackass was because of your dad. You were sweet to me, so what did it matter, right? It’s okay that you beat people up for the hell of it. It’s okay that you drink yourself into a coma a couple of times a week. Because you loved me, right? All I needed was somebody that loved me.” I scoffed, my tears of sadness turning into tears of anger. Not at him, but at myself for not realizing this would happen sooner or later.

    “Loved, you? I still love you!” He asserted.

    “Really? Love is sticking your dick in the first new thing that walks by?”

    “Babe-” 

    “No. Don’t you fucking dare call me that, not right now.” I shrieked, loud enough for the neighbors to hear. I thanked God that my parents were out of town.

    “You got so mad at me when I told you about Indiana… You said you were done… I thought you meant we were done.” He defended, restlessly twisting his ring around his finger.

    “You fucking tell me that I’m the love of your life, yet the second we break up, you’ve moved on with somebody else!?”

    “It’s not like that!”

    “No, of course, it’s not! It’s never ‘like that’” I sneered, “That’s totally not the go-to of every cheater on the fucking planet.”  

    “It wasn’t about her! I don’t give a damn about her!” He roared, “I thought we were done. I needed somebody to run to. I couldn’t fucking deal with losing you!”

    “No. No. That’s not a good enough reason.” I argued, “You didn’t see me doing the same damn thing. Jesus Christ, Billy! We had this for years since we were kids. And you didn’t even take a second to mourn that.”

    “Baby-”

    “Leave,” I uttered.

    “Please don’t do this.”

    “You know, as bad as you just hurt me, you’re the only person I want to talk to right now.” I whimpered.

He dipped his head, avoiding my gaze as he brought his hands up to wipe his tears. His whole body was trembling, having to use all of his strength not to completely lose it.

    “Please. Just go.” I begged.

    “I’m sorry.”

10/15/84 4:36 am: I’m leaving tomorrow… Uh… the van is all packed up and we’re driving out there. You… won’t be able to call me for a few days… I know that…. You probably don’t want to talk to me anyway. But…. Just know…. I love you. Please… answer next time I call. I love you. I’ll… talk to you later. Or maybe I’ll talk to your answering machine later, who knows.

10/17/84: 4:22 pm: Hey… It’s me… again. We’re in Colorado. About halfway there. It’s beautiful here. The mountains are gorgeous. There’s snow, too. I know how much you love snow. Remember when we went skiing that one year, and I ate shit going down the hill? You laughed your ass off until you realized I was hurt.  I wish you were here too. Maybe if I hadn’t been such a dick, you would be.

10/19/84 8:49 pm: Hey, Y/N. It would be nice to hear your voice. We just got into town… This place is a shithole. Everybody here is boring as hell. There isn’t a single girl here who even compares to you. I got assigned some book that I know you really like. I don’t see how, it’s the most boring thing I’ve ever read. Maybe you could tell me why you love it so much? Maybe you could call me back.

11/01/84 2:36 am: It’s me. I know I haven’t called in a while, but I’m drunk as hell. I just beat my keg record. Not that you would care, you always thought beer was disgusting. I thought things here might be looking up. But… Dad… He’s been… it’s gotten worse. I really need to talk to you.

It was maybe the dozenth message I had listened to over the past month. Each one sounded more desperate than the last.

One last time, I swallowed my pride, dialing my phone. I waited through the rings on the other end.

“What?” A gruff voice replied, blowing what I assume was a puff of smoke.

“Billy?” I asked.

He took a deep breath,

“Y/N?”

[adventuresaroundasia]

That’s right, yours truly did a full-on Hoi An photoshoot with a professional photographer. Thankfully despite my initial fear of being super awkward, it was actually amazing!

I think we all know that I’m not an Instagram model that sets up elaborate photoshoots wherever I go. While I like to get a few photos here and there, I don’t bring a tripod, plan my outfits (hence, why I’m wearing the same 3 outfits in half my Instagram photos), or wear makeup because I’ll just sweat it off.

But I’ve really been wanting to get some great travel photos in Hoi An for some time now, so when Jim Grootes of Circular Media posted in an expat group looking for some models for his new photography business website, I hesitantly volunteered.

I’m not a model but… never hurts to ask right?

Pin Me!

I’m Not a Model Okay?

The one time I tried out to be a “model” for a backyard BBQ photoshoot in China featuring “German looking people”, they hired me… to be an English teacher to their Chinese staff. Yep, the one time I tried to be a model they hired me as an English teacher. Hey, at least it was a lucrative job!

I’m pretty used to people looking for non-models be in photos, only to have them turn me down for being too short and curvy. That’s why I was actually surprised when Jim jumped at the chance to do a photoshoot with me!

It turns out Jim was a professional wedding photographer back in the Netherlands and was looking to create a business and client base in Hoi An and Danang. Non-models like me were precisely who he was looking for.

Hoi An Vibes Only

Why I Wanted to do a Hoi An Photoshoot

I’ve been wanting (and needing) nice photos of myself for my blog and social media for a long time. But I hate forcing Chris to take them for me, and let’s be real, I’m usually sweaty and gross every time we go anywhere.

In addition to being perpetually damp whenever I go out, I also get a little awkward in front of the camera. I have no idea what to do with my hands, and I also dislike most “candid” photos of myself because I’m typically posed in a very unflattering way.

I’ve watched some Youtube videos on how to position myself for photos, but I still feel super uncomfortable and I hate that I can’t see myself on the camera when I’m posing.

I realized what I really needed to do was book a photoshoot with a professional photographer. I wanted someone who could give me direction, tell me how to pose, and produce some great quality photos to use for my website.

Thankfully Jim Grootes did exactly that, and it was awesome.

Health and Body Image: Celebrating My Hard Work

Many of you know I’ve been working really hard on improving my health and nutrition. In Beijing, I had a desk job from 10-7 with a 45-minute subway commute each way every day. I sat at a desk all day and ate out for most meals, which in Beijing means large portions and a lot of oil.

I went from eating a lot of fish and veggies in Ningbo to noodles, meat, bread, and oil in Beijing. Instead of having a glass of wine before salsa dancing in Ningbo, I switched to craft beer and sitting in Beijing. My hobbies morphed from dancing 3-5 days a week to trying to squeeze in 30 minutes on the treadmill during my lunch breaks.

Slowly but surely over the 2.5 years, I lived there, I gained a bunch of weight and no longer felt comfortable in my own body. None of my clothes fit, I didn’t like photos of myself, I had no energy, and I constantly felt puffy and sluggish.

Healthy Changes in Hoi An

Over the last year, I’ve made some major changes. Now I keep track of what I eat and try to get in four servings of vegetables a day. I measure out my portions and cook most of my meals, and I understand what’s healthy and what to eat in moderation. Finally, I also cut down on my alcohol consumption a lot.

I’ve gotten very into fun exercise with my Latin dance workout videos and 3x weekly strength training at the gym! I may not be as thin as I was in my early 20’s, but I don’t think I’ve ever been this healthy in my ENTIRE LIFE.

Since I’ve been working so hard on improving my health and fitness, it was great to celebrate all of my hard work with a photo shoot. The best word I can use to describe my experience is: empowering. I felt beautiful, comfortable in my own body, and happy to celebrate all the hard work and effort I’ve put into creating a healthier lifestyle for myself.

Working with Jim Grootes From Circular Media

I made it super clear to Jim that I’m definitely not a professional model, and I’m going to need a ton of direction. I have approximately 3 poses I know will (probably) look good, and that’s about it.

Thankfully, Jim was great at making me feel comfortable. If something looked awkward he’d tell me. If I was slouching too much, my hands were weird, or my angle was unflattering, he’d let me know! The direction he gave me definitely made me feel much more confident. I knew he’d tell me if something looked bad, so I had a fun time experimenting with different poses and shots.

Jim’s girlfriend Yến Nguyễn was also really amazing during the shoot. Not only did she carry my purse the ENTIRE time, but she also paid very close attention to the fact that I was sweating off all my makeup, dabbing me with tissues and even reapplying makeup that she brought from home halfway through the shoot!

The yellow walls in Hoi An!

Why Hoi An is Perfect For a Photoshoot

If you want to get amazing travel, family, or couples photos on your trip to Vietnam, I couldn’t think of a better place than Hoi An. The most obvious place to take photos is in Hoi An Old Town. With all the lanterns, cute cafes, yellow walls, little alleys, the river, decorated shops and more, you’ll literally never run out of good places to take photos.

Hoi An is also home to beautiful rice fields and stunning villas right on the many rivers. So if you’re looking for beautiful outdoorsy photos in a more natural environment, the Anh Mi rice fields or one of the many beautiful river villas could be a perfect choice.

You have no idea how much I was sweating here…

Hoi An Photoshoot Challenges

That said, there are some things to be aware of if you are trying to get beautiful photos in Hoi An. Firstly, the sun and heat can be very intense, especially in the summer months (June, July, August). I did my photoshoot at the end of July and man it was HOT. We started at around 9 am to avoid the heat, but even then I was SO SWEATY.

Seriously, in Hoi An I pretty much never wear makeup or a real bra before 6 pm because I just can’t deal with the heat. Not only did all of my makeup sweat and streak during the shoot, but my bra was also literally soaking wet when I took it off. (You’re welcome for that TMI).

To avoid the sun, I usually go out in the evenings. But starting around 5 pm Hoi An’s old town gets CROWDED with busses of tourists coming to see the old town lanterns light up at night, and to release floating lanterns into the river (wonder who collects all the trash from them….?).

So basically the optimal time to do a photo shoot is between 6-8 am, but who really wants to wake up that early? Aside from the sweat, we managed to get some great photos by hiding in the shade from the trees and shop buildings.

Where to Take Photos in Hoi An Old Town

While we wandered around a lot of Hoi An’s Old Town, there are a few spots I really loved!

The Tiny Yellow Alley

To be honest, I have no idea where EXACTLY this is, so you’ll have to wander around a little until you find it. It’s a super tight alley with yellow walls on both sides. Of course, there will probably be someone taking a photo here when you arrive. I just know it’s somewhat near 92 Station on the opposite side of the road.

92 Station Restaurant and Cafe

All of the amazing photos from the balcony are shot here! Go to the 3rd floor for an incredible view with rooves in the background. The roof of 92 Station has a terrace, but it’s a bit bright and much harder to get good shots up there.

Sunday Hoi An!

SUNDAY in Hoi An

This shop is extremely cute and has a little covered patio area painted pink with the “Hoi An Vibes Only” text that you see all over Instagram. Most people think this is a random cafe, but it’s actually a store. You’re welcome.

Grab a Bicycle

Take your bicycle, or grab a random stranger’s parked bicycle like I did. Hoi An is famous for bicycles, so use one as a prop!

This berry dress went well with yellow, pink, and brown/blue!

What to Wear For Your Hoi An Photoshoot

If you’re going to book a photographer in Hoi An (or take a ton of photos yourself for Instagram), I highly suggest figuring out what you’re going to actually wear so that your photos turn out well.

Firstly, you want to wear something that makes you feel comfortable and beautiful (or handsome!). Part of the reason I chose this red dress is that I love how flattering it is on my body shape. You’ll also want to consider that it will probably be HOT so wear some breathable summer clothes!

The main thing you’ll really want to consider is color. Hoi An has a lot of yellow walls with bright green vegetation and some dark pink bougavelia flowers. Ideally, you’ll pick a color that pops against yellow. That said, all of my favorite photos actually the ones on the balcony with all the greens, pinks and browns. I just feel like yellow is not the best color for my skin tone!

92 Station in Hoi An

My favorite colors for a Hoi An Old Town photoshoot are definitely berry or blue. I think the A. Byer dress I have is pretty perfect. But if you’re looking for more options, here are a few dresses I love!

DB Moon TShirt Dress (in light blue or white)

Azalouise Wrap Dress (in blue, light blue, or red bean would be perfect!)

KILIG Halter Neck Dress (Floral E and Floral F are my faves!)

ZESICA Bohemian Wrap Dress (any of these would look amazing)

Booking Your Own Hoi An Photoshoot

Jim is an experienced wedding photographer from the Netherlands who now runs a photography business in Danang and Hoi An. While he specializes in wedding photos, he does amazing travel photos as well.

If you’re looking to book a photoshoot with Jim, be sure to contact him through his website, or through Facebook.

Get incredible photos from your vacation or wedding so you can remember your time in Hoi An forever!

Pin Me!

What Do You Think?

Have you ever booked a photoshoot while traveling? How did it go? Are you thinking about booking a shoot in Hoi An? Leave me a comment below and I’ll be sure to get back to you ASAP!

Who’s getting their photos taken in Hoi An?!

My Hoi An Photoshoot: How to Take Awesome Photos in Hoi An That's right, yours truly did a full-on Hoi An photoshoot with a professional photographer. Thankfully despite my initial fear of being super awkward, it was actually amazing!

[coolminhye-blog]

He Came from Narnia: Chapter 1

Jessica sat in her room eating mint ice cream and working on her latest photo shop painting, in fact, she was concentrating so hard she didn't realize how quickly she was devouring the ice cream and gave herself brain freeze. As Jessica smacked her forehead in agony her cell phone buzzed with a new text message: Mary: What are you up to? Jessica: Just working on a chibi a client has ordered. Mary: Let's meet for coffee, I have something to talk with you about. Jessica: Now? Mary: NOW! Michelle and I have some exciting news. Jessica reluctantly set her work aside and drove to the coffee shop her Mary and Michelle often met at after work to rant about horrible customers, slacker co-workers and how they wished they were making more money. Jessica works a slew of odd jobs which often left her angry and drained and pinning for some new adventure. Mary works a late night retail job of pushing carts around a parking lot, facing and restocking endless shelves of products and ringing up over eager customers who don't know how to check prices and decide there are 10 things in their cart they don't want because it's too expensive. While Michelle works at the downtown library sorting through books that need to be re-shelved and looking thorugh books and movie that were returned long overdue. All three of them were desperate for a vacation and all three of them were about to have the adventure of a life time: "So why'd you call me here so late?", Jessica asked. "I need to finish that drawing by midnight and I'm only halfway through." "You know how we were planning that trip to Korea with Kortney?", Michelle asked. "Yeah, what about it?", Jessica asked impatiently. "Well....she can't go," Mary explained. "And we already have her ticket, which means we have an opening if you want it." Mary began to taunt Jessica with this amazing vacation. "Are you serious?", Jessica jolted out of her seat. "This is a torturous prank if you're not serious." Michelle chuckled, "We're serious! We want you to go! You so deserve it?" "Can you get the time off from all 10 of your jobs?", Mary asked jokingly. "We leave in two weeks." "Yeah, I think that's enough notice," Jessica said. "How long will we be gone?" "The trip plan is 3 weeks long," Michelle said. "We'll be traveling through the Korean country side starting in the HaHoe and Yangdong villages in Andong." "Sounds interesting," Jessica said. "I'M IN! Let's do it!" The girls parted after finishing their coffees and talking about trip arrangements and accommodations. Then it was time to go and finish the chibi and email it to her client. Jessica slaved over the computer screen for about an hour before putting the finishing touches on the chibi and sending it off to her client at 11:30 pm, thirty minutes to spare! In celebration of completing the drawing early, Jessica went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of chardonnay and pulled out her pint of double chocolate and marshmallow ice cream. Jesus, Jessica, you're such a fatty. You'd better go to the gym tomorrow; she thought to herself. After the glass of wine and a few bites of the rich ice cream she brushed her teeth and went to bed. Jessica put in her time off requests and was approved, after that the weeks seemed to drag on. She went out a bought a bunch of new clothes to wear but also kept in mind they would be doing some hiking and would need a sturdy pair of boots and clothes she can get dirty. She had 3 days left to get everything ready and Mary and Michelle were hot on her tail about it. Jessica is known for procrastinating horribly and her friends knew it: Mary: Are you packed yet? You're not are you? Jessica: I'm working on it.... Mary: No you're not, you're drawing again or blogging. PACK WOMAN! PACK! Jessica: I'M PACKING! Air day arrived, the girls had stayed the night with Michelle so they could all pile into one taxi to head to the Sacramento Airport and from there the girls would fly into Ulsan. With the North still impending threats upon Seoul, we decided to stay as far south as possible for most of the trip. As much as the girls would like to see the sites of the country's capital and maybe catch a glimpse of one of their favourite musicians, they didn't really want to risk their lives that badly. Besides, if they found they had the time, they could always switch the tickets to say they fly out from Incheon instead. After a 22 hour flight and traveling forward in time, they finally landed at Ulsan Airport 7am the next day. It was a 30 minute drive to Andong Hahoe Village where they were greeted with a translator and a tour guide who promptly showed the girls to their hanoks. The rooms were small and claustrophobic but the traditional heated flooring was amazing! The girl each got their own hanok since they only slept one and with their luggage, the space was already a pretty tight squeeze. After they each took a two hour nap they were greeted with a knock on the door by the tour guide who was to show them all the amenities, hiking trails and meet and greet some of the villagers whom they would be living with for a week. Their tour guide was Korean American with a tall slender and lanky build, he dressed as a traditional Korean scholar and looked quite silly wearing his thick rimmed glasses with that sweet atirre. "Greetings, my name is Choi HanJae and I will be your tour guide today," HanJae said with a broad crooked tooth grin. "If you have a hard time remembering my Korean name you may just call me Jae." "안녕하세요, I am Dong SukBae," SukBae greeted warmingly. "I will be your translator for the duration of your visit. Please ask me anything." "Are you ladies ready to begin your journey back in time?", HanJae said enthusiastically. We all nodded our heads stoically, still a little jet lagged and starving. "May we eat first?" Mary raised her hand as if she were in school. Jae chuckled and nodded, "Yes, I will show you all the wonderful restaurants and street foods you may choose from." The girls grabbed their purses, sweaters and shoes in anticipation for a wonderful traditional folk village meal. HanJae and SukBae took them through the dust dirt roads explaining all the different buildings and what they were traditionally used for and some are still used for those things, others have been turned into small museums. The girls sat down and had a delicious meal of heotjesbap and gangodeungeo, everything was devoured including an entire pot of tea. "What will we see next, Jae?", Michelle asked. "Would you like to see the Yangjindang House?," HanJae said webbing his fingers together like an evil mastermind. "It's the oldest house in the village and was owned by the Ryu clan when the village was first founded." Mary got a wild look in her eye, "YES! Let's go there!" HanJae and SukJae took us back through a few more winding dirt roads along the river bend and eventually into the centre of the village. "Ryu, Seong-ryong, born in 1542 and died 1607, was a famous court minister who helped protect Korea from the Japanese invasion of 1592. He lived here.", HanJae explained. "Let me take you to Seong ryong's personal study, he has a unique armoire there." They followed HanJae into the house and through several large rooms adorned with antique furniture and pristine rice paper on every door. Everything was very well kept and loved. As they walked into the study there was a large bamboo armoire looming over us. "This armoire is unique in the way that it has been locked for centuries," HanJae pointed to a large antique Asian style padlock. "No one dares to open it and find out why it's been locked for so long. Some in the village say it's cursed and contains the dead bodies of Seong-ryong's enemies. Others say there is another world within this armoire and that the other world is cursed and that's why it's been locked. A few have attempted to break the lock or pick it open, but none have been successful." "Another realm through an armoire," Jessica said pessimistically and crossing her arms. "What is it, the Korean version of Narnia?" Mary scoffed, "C'mon Jess, it's just a village folk story. Don't take it so deliberately." "Yeah, Jess," Michelle chimed in. "Just a folk tale. You like those right?" "I guess so," Jessica shrugged. "That this is absolutely massive and terrifying!" "It was built during the Quing Dynasty when Korea was still known as Joseon Providence. It was built for protection and weaponry. There's supposed to be a hidden door in the floor boards for storage or hiding from the enemy. But since the lock can't be removed we will never know." "Well that was an interesting bit of history," Jessica said sarcastically. "Let's go put our boots on and go hiking!" The girls began to walk back to their hanoks when a mysterious woman walked up to Jessica pointing at her with a sinister look: "YOU!," she shrieked. "The curse will be lifted our worlds will meld into one because of your love and purity for him. You are the chosen one, but only if you're willing to take on the task." "WHAT?!", Jessica backed up terrified of the old woman. "I'm pure? I'm the chosen one? What?!" HanJae gently took the old woman away and she continued shouting, "Believe in yourself my dear! You're in for a battle that you can only win with faith!" Mary, Michelle and Jessica got their hiking gear and turned toward the ancient trails for comfort. They hiked the cliffs along the Nakdong River and took in the picturesque few of what nature had to offer. "This is so great," Mary said admiring the river from the top of the cliff. "I would love to camp up here." "This would be a great place for a pic-nic," Michelle said. "We should bring some goodie with us tomorrow and camp out." "That sounds like a great idea, Michelle!", Mary said enthusiastically. "What do you think Jess? Jess...?" "Sorry, I was just thinking about what that crazy woman said to me," Jessica said still haunted by the woman's words. "Was she putting a curse on me?" "Nah," Michelle said contently. "I heard she's the village shaman. Or the last of them anyway. Shamanism is still widely practiced in the Korean countryside you know." "No, I didn't know," Jessica said angrily. "And I'm still super creeped out by it. How am I the chosen one when I live in California, fuck, I'm not even Korean! I'm Mexican! And how the fuck am I supposed to bring two worlds together? Mexico collides with Korea? I don't get it?" "I'm sure there's a very simple answer and you're over thinking it," Michelle said putting her hand on Jessica's shoulder. "Maybe you can pick the lock on that cursed armoire!," Mary said wildly excited. "Maybe that's why no one has ever been able to get in there! They weren't the chosen one!" "That's stupid, Mary," Jessica said scowling and crossing her arms again. "Why doesn’t someone just blow the stupid thing up or burn it? Then they can get inside." "Why ruin a beautiful and important piece of history?", Michelle asked. "Oh you silly librarian," Jessica scorned. "There's no such thing as curses and that stupid armoire doesn't lead to another realm. And I'm not the chosen one! I want to go to bed now." They hiked back down the steep trail into the village and headed back to their hanok. In the middle of the night Jessica was awoken by a loud CRACK! She sat straight up and saw a strange glow leading from her hanok to the courtyard, it seemed to be a glowing trail of bubbles coming right through the door. Jessica crawled across her bed and slowly opened the door to peer outside, she saw no one and nothing but this glowing trail of tiny bubbles beckoning her to follow them. She went against her better judgment and stepped outside slipping her shoes on and following the glowing trail through the courtyard, past the midwife's house and to the Ryu clan home. Jessica stopped short when she noticed the bubble trail seemed to be floating almost wispfully like a bunch of tiny faeries were holding it together and floating along with it. Jessica swallowed hard and followed the trail up to the front door. Jessica expected the door to be locked since it was after hours: 'This is stupid,' Jessica thought out loud. 'Why the fuck am I here?' With that the door slowly creaked open and the floating wispy bubble trail lit the way through the house winding around corners and taking her through haunting dark corridors to her destination: the armoire. There is stood solid and mighty like nothing could ever demolish it. The giant armoire was creepy and Jessica noticed something else about the armoire: the lock had been broken. She walked up to the armoire to touch the busted lock and it was covered in ice! "What the fuck?!", Jessica yelled. "How the..." She stopped short as the large bamboo door slowly opened and beckoned her to crawl inside. Jessica hoisted herself up into the large armoire and saw a strange glow in the back. Jessica cautiously crawled toward the light and as it got closer and brighter she began to see a whole new realm forming. Jessica turned around to crawl back but the door seemed to have shut, she couldn't see a way back! As she looked back toward the world that was slowly forming she saw a tree filled with beautiful sparkling apples! Jessica stood up and walked toward the tree to get a better look, as she approached the tree she could feel grass between her toes: "Huh?" Jessica gasped. "Where are my shoes? Where are my clothes? These clothes aren't mine!" Jessica was no longer dressed in her pajamas, but dressed in deer skins and lamb wool. She was now barefoot and could feel something on her back...it was a bow and a small pouch of arrows! "What the fuck is this?", she shrieked. "Huntress you have returned!," said a high pitched voice above her. "Who said that?", Jessica shouted looking around. "I did!", the voice said again and suddenly dropping down in front of her face. "EEEee!", Jessica screamed. "What are you doing in that tree upside down?" "My name is Doodle! I'm a tree elf!," he said excitedly. "Welcome back huntress, we missed you! And our world is in great need of you now, the Prince needs you to fight in his army." "My name is Jessica and I need to do what?", Jessica said confused and angry about what was happening. "Jessica, that's a peculiar name," Doodle said. "OK huntress Jessica, follow me." Jessica sighed heavily and followed Doodle into the thick forest not knowing what to expect but knowing she was confused and terrified at beginning to understand what the village shaman had told her only hours before.

[opepin]

march: week 2

06: i was so sleepy today. i don’t know why. i still got a good chunk of work done though -- there weren’t many meetings today. i ate lunch with the dev guys and cole gave me one of his scallion pancakes! i shared half with stephen. i kept almost crashing so i just stood up and shuffled while doing work. x__x; i ate two hard caramel candies to try to keep myself awake but it didn’t work either. i managed to get through the day though. i left work a bit early because i wanted to catch the train early and phil couldn’t meet until 5 pm. i got back, skyped with phil for a bit, and then snacked and ko’d. i planned on taking a nap for 30 minutes but ended up sleeping for 2 hours and also getting mad at kevin for trying to wake me up LOL. he came back from climbing and he tried giving me kisses and i like grunted at him and yelled at him while half asleep. LOL DON’T MESS WITH ME AND MY SLEEP :P

i did wake up after he finished showering and then we ate dinner and watched izombie. we did some apartment furniture/things purchasing, vacation planning, and budgeting. then kevin went to game and i continued to shop LOL. i got a resistance band with the help of daniel and got ourselves a cute rug from society6. i’m excited for all of this! then i showered and brushed my teeth and went to sleep with kevin. i didn’t work out because i was so tired from traveling and work i guess. i mean rest days are okay too. i did hit less than 21% of body fat today on the scale :D woot.

07: i was again sleepy but more awake. it was nice and warm outside (as warm as it gets when it rains). it was nice. i was surprised because cole was in the office today and stephen and john. apparently, their schedules switched for this week. well, cole and stephen are going to move into the office and haowei and kien will be out here now. :( i like everyone but i love my table ahah. stephen said he wanted to stay with me tooo ahha. they won’t move until next week probably. i met eddie from new york and the office was just full of people. :O it was so much fun! i got a burrito at sabrosa because i wanted tacos but 2 tacos were $9 and a burrito was $9...so i got the burrito because it makes more sense... i ate lunch with the guys again and then went into meetings for the rest of the day. i was more awake after lunch today. it was probably because i was super hungry and the burrito filled me up :3

stephen and cole left the table to sit in the office now T_T but at least i’m sitting with haowei and kien now (: i walked to south station with cole and then i accidentally prepped for oyakodon and then i did abs and zumba. we watched an episode of izombie before kevin went off to game and then i talked to vivian on the phone. then i went to shower and waited for kevin to finish up whatever he was doing so we could plan our trips together. i got sleepy so i went to sleep. kevin left the bed at 2 am and it ended up in a terrible argument where i just blew up like i never have before. i’m just so tired. it’s tiring when you feel like they just don’t listen. they want to understand your feelings on their terms and it just doesn’t work like that. i stayed up until 4 am and ko’d after watching some youtube videos.

08: i was exhausted in the morning but i had to get stuff done. i was in a crappy mood but i wanted to work. i did talk to vivian about the argument and stuff too. i found out that she and i have the exact same love language and it is 12/12. that’s why she’s my lo gong <3 i cranked out 3 videos today even though my voice was shot from yesterday. my throat is hurting now. i bought tickets for chicago in june too! it’s official. i got to use the LUV vouchers finally. hen got her flowers from me and it made my day that she was happy about it. i sent her flowers because i’ve been meaning to an also for international’s women’s day because she deserves a reminder of how strong she is and also i miss her so. we got our amazon shipment today so that meant getting our cookbooks and i also got my resistance band today! yassss. i’m so excited to use it but i’m gonna use it tomorrow probably. oh, so there’s a crack in our bathroom tiled wall for some reason so rachel (deco girl) offered us to stay in the guest suite while they fix it for 2 days. that’s like a paid vacation. i talked to kevin about doing it on the weekend because we’re going to o ya and getting a massage next weekend too. it’ll be great.

i finished my day off wth phil telling me that i didn’t need to attend the last late meeting of the day and i finished up my videos. i started preparing dinner when kevin came in. he wouldn’t talk to me or anything so i knew he was mad. i only asked him about cooking stuff and etc. then i looked through the cookbooks and i tried getting him to sit next to me while watching izombie, but he didn’t :( i asked vivian to try to message him and talk to him because i didn’t know what to do at that point. before that, i put on an episode of ‘the mind of a chef’ and i thought he softened up. well, he didn’t and then he ate and disappeared into the room. i finished the izombie episode and then went to look for him. i saw him ko’d on the bed in the dark .___. so i put a blanket on him and did my exercise early. it was kickboxing day! i got so tired halfway through though. hmm. kevin woke up and then we talked. it was a bit rocky at first but i can feel that he really cares, he’s patient, and he really wanted to understand and fix this. so we made a plan and hopefully, it works out. i’ll be less passive aggressive and more active in communicating and he’ll be less accusatory and ask me more general questions like how was my day and how i’m feeling so he can gauge why i’m angry and how angry i am.

we spent time together doing nothing and just talking about our lives and then we looked at the cookbooks together. i showered and then ko’d next to kevin while he played pokemon. it was tiring but good day. we’ve also booked our tickets to chicago this spring/summer! we’re coming back and i’m so excited!

09: my new buddies in my area are just as great as cole and steve LOL. :) i enjoy everyone’s company at t7. i was really productive today. i cranked out a lot of video edits and then at the end of the day, rushed to finish a pricing sheet with phil’s help. lol omg i was struggling so hard making it and i had to ask cole and he found a very granular way to make it but i didn’t think it was what phil wanted. anyway, the day itself was great and i talked to steve and cole on slack. i had a funny conversation with steve about his name (it’s spelled stephen). i also got donuts with cole in the morning and i did not like them. i got pistachio and reese’s cup -- they were both too sweet. i also got to meet diego and said goodbye to eddie. eddie owns 2 whiskey bars in new york so i hope we’ll get to visit sometime. :3 it was a very friendly thursday with tech thursdays and etc. the office was lively and it was really nice.

i rushed to get off skype and ran downstairs to get kevin because he needed to use the washroom. then i brought him in the office and no one cared LOLOL. i thought it was funny -- i knew no one would care but just seeing them not move from their seats or look up, it was hilarious. i introduced kevin to cole and then we rushed to the elephant walk restaurant for our dine-out boston reservations! it was a long and kinda windy walk. the weather was cool and nice but our ears started hurting. we got there before we died -- it was a 30 minute walk. i was really excited about this restaurant but everything was just ok. i admit that kevin picked better dishes that me. he got this warm noodle with shrimp as an appetizer and i got the fried dumplings. the warm noodles were my favorite dish out of everything. then he got this tiger shrimp dish with coconut rice and i got boeuf borrgnhinin (lol i don’t want to look it up. it’s a beef dish) and it tasted too much like alcohol. i feel like it wasn’t cooked out properly. for dessert, i got the coconut egg custard and kevin got a passionfruit mousse. they complemented each other so well. they tasted so good together. individually, his tasted better.

we waited a bit inside for the bus then walked outside and found a heating station and waited there. we got on SL5 instead of SL4 but still got to a red line so whatevs. we watched two episodes of izombie and then kevin gave me a light shoulder massage and i ko’d on the bed face into the bed for like 20 minutes LOL. i woke up and exercised with my new resistance band/cuff. it was weird? but my butt did hurt when i did exercises. then i did hip hop cardio, we showered, and then ended up sleeping at 3 am? lulz. good thing i’m working from home tomorrow. i love staying up with kevin (:

10: i had a great night of sleep :3 i was working from home so i focused on recording today while attending a good amount of meetings. it was snowing outside and kevin scared me in the morning because i was still half asleep when he screamed, “snow!” his alarm also went off like 6x this morning. @_@; i wasn’t mad though. i had to organize my day because i felt a little bit scared to proceed with the videos, but i figured it out and i can just rewatch phil’s videos and then do the newer version of them. i missed a call due to mass emailing issues and etc but it was alright. i recorded 2 more videos by the end of the day and got template work to do on monday. woot! i worked a bit past 5 pm and then kevin came back from work and we cooked dinner. we made niratama donburi and it was so fluffy and delicious. we watched 2 episodes of izombie and then kevin went to game and i did my workout. i almost fell asleep again x__X; it was a pretty uneventful but chill night :) oh, i also got my snack care package from ashley! i went crazy looking through the box and i realized they gave me 5 free full-sized products -- whut. then me and ashley waited for victoria to come home and get the package. haha she was so surprised and it was so cute. i hope she does well on finals and i hope ashley bbg is doing well. i love this triangular snack delivery thing we did ;D i opened all the snacks to try some and share some with kevin. we both loved the muscat chocolate gummies, which kevin has never had :O i’m glad ashley picked those out for me (: thanks, girl! so yeah, things have been pretty great.

11: lol, we got up later than we expected because we are bums and we love our sleep so we left the house at 11:20 am or something to get to the new england dessert showcase. it was cold af and the train took its sweet time getting to us. we got to see some cosplayers and a lot of people heading over to PAX because the showcase was in the westin hotel, which was also hosting PAX in a way and connected to both events. it was pretty lively. we were about to check in with our groupon and then a lady stopped us and gave us her two vip tickets because her sister was sick and couldn’t make it. me and kevin were pretty much like whaaa? in awe basically. so we went in and vip only meant that we could go to the afterparty and use this side room to check in our coats and hang out in. the venue was pretty empty and all of the vendors gave out costco-sized samples -__- we paid $40 for this?! of course we tried everything and then watcheda bit of a demo, but left fairly quickly. my favorite treat out of this was the proyo samples and the palm house mini desserts. they were tiny though. we looked around the westin to see if we could “sneak” into PAX, but obviously we didn’t and headed home.

 we went to the mall to get our knives sharpened. however, when we got there, we were told that the person who does that wasn’t in today and to come tomorrow after 12 pm. that was fine, but the people who work at the sur la table in braintree mall are kinda rude. .__. we stopped by lush then to prepare for our staycation! i got help from a kind worker and i believe his name was gabe. he introduced me to the perfect moistuzing bath bomb, luxury oil bomb thingy, and body exfoliator. we checked out, headed back home and then we ate lunch and caught ourselves in a izombie vortex. i think we watched 5 episodes until the season finale and we found out the next season comes out in april. oh no, what do we watch in the meantime?! then we cooked dinner, ate and planned meals for the week, and then kevin went to climb at 10 pm or so LOL. i did an hour long workout, cleaned my yoga mat, showered, and stayed up listening to the kiev dota tournament while flipping through the cookbooks with kevin. i went to sleep right before 2 am (daylight savings) and ko’d.

12: uhhh...vivian and jackson megabus’d to boston and then went to get hot pot at kaze while me and kevin were still trying to wake up LOL. i got up at 12 pm and then shot the clips i needed for my 2 minute showcase video for the week and then i woke up kevin because vivian and jackson were done eating 20 minutes before the time they estimated (they ate so quickly)! so kevin and i got ready and then drove to chinatown and got them. :) it was great seeing jackson again aka my gbf~ we drove back to the apartment, vivian shared some of her “vegan” cake and when we looked at the ingredients, it was definitely not vegan so i don’t know what the bakery was tryna sell her LOL. then vivian gave jackson the tour of deco while kevin and i ate potstickers for breakfast/lunch. we finished writing down all the stuff we needed for groceries this week and then bounced. vivian and jackson were busy playing some card game i bought a while back.

kevin and i hit up sur la table first and got to see our knives getting sharpened. the lady sharpening our knives was reaaaal nice. (: then we went to kam man, got our groceries and a few more staple pantry items, and went to bj’s for some beef stew meat. we got back, kevin made himself a quesadilla, i ate a bit of kale fried rice, and vivian and jackson were watching ‘the flash’ on netflix. they also took initiative and ordered food from an indian place. so then kevin and i left to go to our chef week reservation. it was quite a busy day for both of us. the drive to osaka was a bit long -- 30 minutes or so but it was so worth it. we found parking right in front and then i realized that we were going to get dinner and show because it was a hibachi steak house!!! score! it was my first time going to one. kevin got the rock shrimp, filet mignon with scallops and shrimp, and mochi. i got the tuna dumpling, filet mignon with lobster tail, and mochi. this was greeeeat. i also ordered a drink on kevin’s suggestion: summer in osaka and it was deliciously sweet. the chef was so interactive and it was great seeing people catch zucchini in their mouths and fire and etc. it was exciting. kevin and i really enjoyed it and it was only $28 each for the meal -- totally worth. we’re considering coming back :)

kevin drove back and i kept him awake by talking about random things. when we got back, we see vivian and jackson ko’d in the living room. they ate and fell asleep watching ‘the flash.’ LOOOOL. kevin and i took this time to leave them be. i did some errands and then they woke up and i talked to them a bit while watching ‘the flash.’ then i edited my video and all three of us did my 45 minute cardio workout and both of them died. i guess my cardio is now pretty good? LOL. so appreciative of them to do it with me even though both of them HATE cardio. <3 they went to play in the fitness center and then i went back, edited my video while kevin showered, showered, and then finished editing my video. they went to sleep at like 1 am? i stayed up until 2 am or so finishing editing and then waiting for kevin to get in bed. i just knocked out. i knew i would regret staying up haha. also, my mom sent me videos of a vegetable garden from china LOLOL.