#instead of headcannoning stuff like dat

[mangoxanax]

someone had to say it 🤦🏾‍♂

Simon "Ghost" Riley is not a rapist.

Simon "Ghost" Riley would not "punish" you so badly you have a miscarriage.

Simon "Ghost" Riley would not tie you up, call you a whore, and tell you to "take it or else"

Simon "Ghost" Riley would not insult your body so bad he gives you an ED.

Sebastian Kreuger would not Kidnap and abuse you.

Phillip Graves would not verbally attack you.

Phillip Graves is not racist or homophobic??

Nikto would not hit you for seeing his face on accident.

König would not throw you against a wall and call you a whore for coming near him, the dude has social anxiety..

idc what anyone says, if you enjoy any of these please get off the internet and figure out a different way to cope, this isn't even proshipper level, this is just wrong.

How are you going to headcanon a victim of SA as a rapist? How are you going to headcanon a victim of a lifetime of abuse as an abuser?

Headcanoning a southern american man as racist and homophobic just feels so icky!

Seriously guys please if you have issues, there are other ways!!!

I'm tired of blocking so many lovely accounts because of the amount of dub-con/noncon/straight up Sexual Assault that's in their reblogs or in the accounts they support and advertise.

There is a difference between tough and straight up fucking insane??? Maybe read the characters backstories and actually take their past into consideration because you guys kinda look dumb for making these characters so OOC. Please get help and keep your gross fics to yourself.

[starburstbubbleswitch]

So it's thanks to Tumblr that I discovered Epic the musical, (Marvelous and addicting btw), and I've seen a few headcannons, artworks, etc. here and there in the community. One of my favorite songs is "Get in the Water" (now is when I get to my real reason for posting this 😅) As I listen to said song, my mind is creating a scene in a different setting. That scene being a slightly frustrated, menacing Ler, trying to get their bratty, caffeine addicted, little more than slightly dehydrated Lee to drink water because GOSH DANG IT YOU LIL GREMLINS NEED WATER! *ahem* Anywaaaays... I'm seeing said Ler approaching said Lee slowly but instead of

"Get in the Water"

It's

"Drink your water" and the song is slowly changing. Instead of

"Or I'll raise the tide so high, all of Ithaca will die"

It becomes

"Or I'll squeeze your hips and thighs, til the tears leak from your eyes"

And I see our little Lee giggling like a maniac, clutching their caffeine item and running around like a toddler that just stuck Pull-Ups on their head and down 3 Pixy Stix. (Yes I have weird analogies, shush). And of course can't blame our ever-so-patient Ler for being a bit heavy on the "Ruthlessness" cuz they care and hey, any reason to tickle a bratty Lee right?

[Side note: I've seen tiny family members do this hence the analogy in the first place]

ANYHOOO, dats it. Dats the post. Please don't hate me for the weird. Switchy thoughts and stuff. Starburst over and out. Laterz. 😅

[twigg96]

I forgot if you write xreader fanfiction or not, so if you don’t, ignore this 😅. But if you do, could I request headcannons for the metalocalypse band (not poly)x bookworm reader? The reader is shy but loves horror and books. Have a nice day!

Hello Anon!! I absolutely do still write xreader fanfic. I hope you enjoy this little short fic!

Toki was the first to notice the small simple comforts of their shared living space going missing. An extra large bean bag chair they used occasionally in the game room. A string of white fairy lights Pickles kept as back up in his drug room in case his neons ever stopped working. A wax warmer Skwisgaar had been using to melt cosmetic wax to make his skin smooth before he discovered bees wax strips. A soft plush oversized blanket made to look like an animal pelt that Murderface accused Nathan of stealing for weeks before giving up the fight. Three of Nathan’s favorite novels disappeared and reappeared within weeks of each other, not that the singer complained much he just wanted to know they were safe and not covered in various fluids.

However when Toki’s stuffed bunny goes missing he became more concerned about the whereabouts of their missing things. Had a mischievous imp came and claimed their items as their own?! If so maybe he could try to make a trade? Some flowers and small acknowledgments to try and appease them so they’d leave him alone? Or maybe it was witch who was using their items to put a curse on their little make-shift family? Rubbing his arms for some semblance of comfort Toki poked his head into the rooms of Mordhause.

The living room was loud, resounding with boisterous laughter of Murderface and Pickles watching a cartoon about two cartoon teenage groupies reacting to various music videos. Toki tried his best not to be too in the way as he ducked under furniture and reached behind the cushions his friends were currently sitting on searching for any of the missing items. “Uh… Toki…” Murderface growled glaring at the young rhythm guitarist as the brunette grazed his bottom in his search beneath the cushions. Toki was quick to retract his hand but the damage was already done. Murderface looked both pissed and disgusted, both men now were completely focused on Toki. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” The bassist finished his sentence, a hint of his long lost southern accent shining through. Toki shrunk under his friend’s intense gaze. How could he explain he was looking for the magic creatures that stole their shit? Instead Toki simply shrugged. “Justs… looking for… my ring?” He said more of a question for himself than for the others. The heavy blush that coated his cheeks only grew darker as Pickles bellowed with laughter and Murderface stared back in disbelief. “You don’t even own a ring dood!” Pickles sputtered out between gasping laughter. Murderface huffed and shook in rage. “That’sch scho fucking gay!” He growled crossing his arms. “Awe c’mon Will. Toki didn’t mean to grope you.” Pickles teased with a wink. “What were ya lookin’ for Toki?” Pickles asked earnestly. Nervously biting the skin on his thumb Toki shuffled his feet, avoiding eye contact with Pickles. “There’s been stuffs goin’s missing. I ams been looking for it.” Toki muttered not missing the way his friends simply stared in response. “What’s missing?” Murderface asked boredom clear on his expression as if he was over the conversation completely. Toki shrugged picking at his nail until pain shot up his finger begging him to stop. “Ah… wells I noticeds things. Like lights in Pickles Smoke Den. And dat blanket-“ Toki was suddenly cut off, his shoulders grabbed roughly by his curly haired friend. “I FUCKING KNEW I WASNT NUTS!” The bassist screamed before Pickles gentled him away from the trembling Norwegian. “It was Nathan wasn’t it! That blanket hog always goes for the best blankets during cuddle time when we watch Hulu…” Murderface sulked. Pickles sighed rubbing circles in his friends back. “How can we help?” Toki was thankful that Pickles seemed so easy going about the whole situation and smiled. “Follow me.”

Leading his friends through the halls and into various unfruitful empty rooms he led them into the kitchen. Nathan leaned up against the counter. His large big gulp size cup was filled of fully caffeinated coffee and a full bottle of Z-Quill. His 2-AM Cold Fucker as he liked to call it. Everyone begged him to switch to Decalf so he could sleep and recover. But the frontman outright refused, citing the high he felt when he was so tired it physically hurt as inspiration for his best works. Whatever worked Toki supposed. The group fanned out around the kitchen, opening cabinet doors peeking inside and closing them with loud pops that made the stoned frontman jump in surprise each and every time. “The fuck are you guys doing?” Nathan growled, his growly voice sounding a tad nasally. “We ams looking for our lost things.” Toki said proudly, opening the fridge before sticking his head in to search. Nathan blinked slowly. Scrubbing his face with his palm, Nathan hummed. “Oh… I thought… uh… I thought you were looking for those fucking elves I saw earlier.” Murderface cocked a brow glancing to the open and half eaten carton of tollhouse cookies. “You mean the fuckin’ Keebler Elvesch?!” He asked smirking as Nathan’s eyes went wide. “Yeah… I guess that’s their name… they came running past here a few minutes ago.” Pickles chuckled, simply patting Nathan on the shoulder and gentling his nearly empty Cold Fucker out of his hand. “I think you had enough of this big guy.” Nathan nodded looking way too tired. “Pickle. Do you want to help him to bed?” Toki asked, but before the redhead could even move Nathan shook his head. “I think I’ll just help you guys look for a little while. I’m not… I won’t sleep. Not yet.” Nathan muttered.

The group stumbled into the studio per Nathan’s request. Hell Toki thought that maybe the frontman had stored away their favorite items amongst the disaster of a mess he called his writing nook. Dropping their large friend into one of the oversized bean bag chairs Toki searched through the piles of garbage scattered around the floor. “Ok. Ok. I’m ready tell that fucker over there to turn the mic on.” Nathan slurred pointing to the large mirror they had hanging and not the two way glass that held the sound booth. “Uhh. Nat’an big guy. Hate to break this to ya. But Dick went home fer the night.” Pickles said with executed skill hiding the smirk clearly written on his lips. Nathan on the other hand was decidedly not happy with the news. “What?! No. Get his cyborg ass back. I need him here NOW!” The frontman bellowed making the ears ring of all his companions and the glass shake in the room. If it weren’t for the reinforcements Charles put in years ago, the glass might have just shattered. Suddenly a small click was heard over the speakers of the studio. Toki looked up in amazement watching as the Nathan, Pickles, and Murderface all did the same. “Wills you please shut de fucks up?!” Skwisgaar’s clearly hung over and sleep deprived voice rang through the sound system muffled only by what Toki could assume was his hand, a shirt or even another person’s body. “Skwisgaar?! Ams you watching us froms yous bed with groupie sluts?!” Toki cried out feeling completely violated and a little uncomfortable at the thought. Skwisgaar groaned once more, his pain resounding through the very speakers. “No Toki you fuckin’s dildo. Shut ups your dumb ams hurtin’s my head. Nat’an gots me sick wit’ his cold.” Skwisgaar said, his voice just as nasally as Nathan’s. “I didn’t sleeps wit de groupie sluts. Mys room ams too hots so I sleeps here where it ams cold. Charlie don’t pay for heat in de studio when Dick ams behind schedule so it’s cool in here.” There was a silence for a few minutes. A comfortable easy silence that washed over the little family. “So can you record me for a few minutes… ya know… before I loose my inspiration.” Nathan muttered. Skwisgaar’s laugh sounded painful and sickly. “Ams you seeing de Keebler Elves again?” He asked, his voice dripping in amusement. “Juscht hit the fucking button.” Murderface growled and with that the familiar beep of the computer recording started and Nathan started rattling off his insane ideas. Ranging anywhere from “Peppermint Chocolate Milk” to “we could totally sell merchandise at a reasonable price but make that shit super limited edition… I’m thinking like one one hundred of an item ya know. Like the thread of my sweaty underwear and people will pay… like… at least half a million for it.”

Three hours passed. It was now five in the morning and all the boys looked and felt like they’ve been run over by a truck. Toki had one last room to check. The library. The others insisted they check in the morning but Toki was insistent so they each trudged in, dragging his feet behind him. “I swears to gods little Toki if it amn’ts here I ams going to-“ Skwisgaar’s rant was cut off by the soft glow of white light coming from behind one of the shelves. “Fairies!” Toki whispered in awe. Nathan snorted half asleep his entire weight leaning on William’s shoulder. “No… Their Elves Toki… get it right…” he muttered, groaning as William shuffled him in his grip. “I don’t care what they are. He’sch heavy.” William murmured walking past the others. Peeking around the shelves the band smiled at the sight they saw. It wasn’t Fairies as Toki thought. Or Elves as Nathan was sure of. It certainly wasn’t Nathan like William had been so insistent in. No. It was their dearest friend. They laid sleeping curled in a little ball on the extra large bean bag chair covered in Murderface’s blanket. A small pile of Nathan’s favorite books were scattered around them. One was loosely gripped in their hand , the pages fluttering closed as it slid precariously off the bean bag and onto the floor. Pickles’ fairy lights were strung neatly across the shelves around them as they slept. Casting the perfect amount of light for them to read without having to turn the harsh fluorescent lights of the library on keeping them from their much needed sleep. Cuddled close to their chest was Toki’s stuffed bunny, tucked sweetly under their chin as if protecting them from the horrors that lived in the pages of the books they loved most. On the table behind them was Skwisgaar’s wax warmer sending out the sweetest aroma of honey vanilla wax melts. Toki was the first to emerge from their hiding place, gentling the book from their hand and placing the book mark in the place he was certain they were last at. Laying it gently on the table behind them he smiled, watching Skwisgaar turn the complicated wax warmer off and Pickles dim the lights ever so slightly to a more tolerable level. A soft thud caught Toki’s attention and he couldn’t help the chuckle that left his chest when he saw the compromising position William had dropped Nathan in. His face down on a hard cover book, arching his back and knees bent with his butt in the air, the frontman looked silly as he cuddled the book he was laying on close as loud snores roared though him. Their friend shifted only slightly snuggling deeper in their sleep with a soft sigh and Toki had to laugh. They always were a deep sleeper. Laying down beside the singer the rest of the band cuddled close for warmth, besides Skwisgaar who simply growled at being gross and sweaty and not wanting to be touched until either he died or he got better. Toki smiled taking his friends hand and Skwisgaar’s anyway ignoring his snotty protests as sleep drew heavy over him. This was the best he could ever hope for.