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#inspired by the song let the river in by radical face....
marlshroom · 6 months
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let the river in, if blood is thicker than water then let the river in. we might drift aways but we've got thick skin.
[ID: a rendered, colored illustration of mob and ritsu from mob psycho 100. the perspective is from above with a fish-eye effect. ritsu is standing closer to the viewer, looking back over his shoulder at his brother, with delinquents knocked unconscious at his feet. ritsu has the red cheeks from when dimple possesses somebody. mob is further away, facing away from the viewer on his knees. behind him is the ruins of black vinegar middle school as mob puts it back together. the whole ground is one big pool of blood, with a river cutting through the two of them. END ID]
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cetra · 10 months
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OC + Random Associations
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[Image ID: A banner for my original character named Killian. To the left is a circle containing a portrait of a saint. Extending from the circle towards the right is a painting of gold stardust against a black backdrop. Towards the middle of the banner is the name “Killian” written in a zany typeface. /End ID.]
thank you @perpetuagf for tagging me to do this!! I went with Killian again sorry i know I'm being really annoying about him 😭🧡 and it was so fun.... ugh... we're so back. Tagging anyone who wants to do it + some of the usual suspects who do the OC thing @dekarios @avallachs @camelliagwerm @gwynbleidd @mightymizora @mythrae @sleepsvessel @dragonssxheart @latenna @dekariosgale @euryalex @loveofdetail @nightwardenminthara @stwaidwen @glamfellens @margaritalaux-antille @killerspinal @bladeofavernus @katagawajr @katsigian Sorry if i forgot to tag you I'm so out of the loop on here and i should probably be in bed by now, okay let's go
Animal: Lamb, several birds (doves, geese, kestrels), donkeys
Colors: Gold, black, brown, yellow
Month: in a world with our calendar, probably August
Songs: The Valley by The Oh Hellos, Holy Lands by Bill Miller, White as Snow by Rivers & Robots, Chains by Radical Face, Out of Our Heads by Sheryl Crow, UGH SO MANY GOOD ONES
Number: 2/two
Plants: Lilys, daisies, palms, chrysanthemums
Smells: Burnt wood, parchment, various oils
Gemstone: hmmm I'm not sure actually. something gold
Time of day: Late afternoon going into the evening when the sun casts a golden glow over everything, aka Killian's favorite time to nap
Season: Summer despite being born in Winter
Places: His home village especially on the riverbank and his father's tavern. once he ventured around the land he loved the ocean
Food: Meat, cheese, bread, starchy vegetables, apples, dried fruits, nuts, peppers, olives..... and he has a bit of a sweet tooth
Drinks: hot chocolate, cider, wine
Element: maybe air/wind
Seasonings: Assuming this includes spices and condiments etc. i'm thinking sea salt, cumin, nutmeg, and mustard seed
Sky: the summer sky especially when it's golden hour or like around the time I said he loved to take a nap
Weather: Sunny, warm or temperate
Magical power: Glowing and levitating (Believe it or not despite being probably the most powerful person in my world, he actually uses magic very infrequently lol)
Weapons: Knives/daggers, bow & arrow
Candy: Dried fruit if it counts, candied fruit peels, caramel, honeycomb
Method of long distance travel: Horseback or boat
Artstyle: oil paintings, tapestries, illuminated manuscripts, carved wood and stone, ancient cave drawings, much of my world can be inspired by the Book of Kells if that gives you a good idea
Fear: Failure, absolutely. failure!!!
Mythological creature: maybe a seraphim?
Piece of stationary: Parchment paper
Three Emojis: ☀️🕊️🗡️
Celestial body: yes..... the sun
Thanks for reading about my boy
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ruinsofxerxes · 3 years
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QUICK! What songs do you associate with fma characters!!!
Oh honey I have a LOT of songs!! This won’t be quick!!!!!! I actually have a Spotify where I have a bunch of fma playlists (which include all the ones below somewhere in them haha so if you wanna listen to them yeah here)
Ed: Everything Costs Radical Face | Lose Control Colony House | Homeward, These Shoes Iron and Wine | 42 Mumford and Sons | House of Gold Twenty One Pilots | I’m so Sorry Imagine Dragons | That’s Okay The Hush Sound | Amsterdam Imagine Dragons | Icarus The Hours | Walk in the Rain Passenger | Uneven Odds Sleeping at Last | For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti Sufjan Stevens | Heirloom Sleeping at Last | Let the River In Radical Face | Hopeless Wanderer Mumford and Sons | Rubik’s Cube Athlete | The Longer I Run Peter Bradley Adams | Dust and Gold Arrows to Athens | Lest We Forget The Brothers Bright | A Little Hell Radical Face
Al: Am I Alive From Indian Lakes | Hebrews 11:40 The Mountain Goats | Hello My Old Heart The Oh Hellos | Blame Bastille | Human Daughter | Old Gemini Radical Face | Touch Sleeping at Last | Leave My Body Florence + The Machine | Numb Marina | Sleepsong Bastille | Organs Of Monsters and Men | Body Mother Mother | Hopeless Opus Imagine Dragons | Feel Again OneRepublic | Soul Meets Body Death Cab for Cutie | Adventures in Solitude The New Pornographers | I’m Still Here John Rzeznik | Lose Your Soul Dead Man’s Bones | Mother & Father Broods | Always Gold Radical Face
Winry: Bones Ben Howard | Come to Me The Goo Goo Dolls | I Will Wait Mumford and Sons | Fix You Coldplay | Her Diamonds Rob Thomas
Roy: Nothing Left Here to Burn Lovers & Liars | I See Fire Ed Sheeran | Pyro Kings of Leon | Kill Your Heroes Awolnation | A Rush of Blood to the Head Coldplay | Burning Pile Mother Mother | Foreigner’s God Hozier | Start a War The National | Arsonist’s Lullaby Hozier | All These Things That I Have Done The Killers
Riza: Gun CHVRCHES | Master Pretender First Aid Kit | Rambling Man Laura Marling | Run Daughter | Soldier’s Daughter Jhameel | Soldier Ingrid Michaelson
Hoho: 30 Lives Imagine Dragons | He Doesn’t Know Why Fleet Foxes | Time Mikky Ekko | The Call Regina Spektor | Oblivion Bastille | Beloved Mumford and Sons
The Homunculi: Seven Devils Florence + The Machine | No One’s Here to Sleep Bastille | Everybody Wants to Rule the World Lorde | Exhumed Zola Jesus | Bad Blood Bastille | Run Boy Run Woodkid
Also I need to shout out Homunculus by Area 51, which is an actual song literally inspired by fma and no one talks about it haha
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bokutosbestie2 · 3 years
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Read my OIKAWA X Reader
“ Gods and Monsters “
Summary: Y/N is a Princess, until one day she beings to catch feelings for Prince Oikawa whom she met..The thing is she is An Angel and he is the prince of the monsters.. Will their love be able to grow in a environment where Gods and Monsters don’t interact due to the hate and conflict they have with one another?
Enjoy!
Yes this story was inspired by Lana del Rey song " Gods and Monsters " 💀🤚
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There is a land of Gods and monsters
I was an Angel
You may wonder where are the monsters?
They live next to us but we're separated by A border. This border was a garden and it looks very deceiving It's filled with glistening flowers with rivers of gold, but in reality, it's filled with creatures. Creatures that can devour you in a minute once they see you. The angles guard their side of the border as well the monsters guide their side.
Everything seemed to be peaceful after a certain war happened which cause the monsters and angels to lose trust and go against each other. It's been 30 years since that war happened, but we still don't seem to get along.
But we all have gotten used to it. The rules were pretty simple never cross the Garden which separates us angles and monsters. If we were to try to cross we can get killed by either side.
I truly do wonder why we can't just get along and be nice to one another, but when I tell people that they think of me crazy. They must think I'm just a foolish princess with radical ideas.
As I sighed looking at the window Suga looks at me
" What's wrong princess ? " he asked in a worried tone
" Oh nothing, I was just lost in my thought. You know how it is I'm always wondering why can't we all just get along " I said to Suga as I looked out the window where I can see the border.
" Princess you and your ideas.. I too wish we could get along. Maybe one day.." Suga said as he looked at the Princess
" But who knows tho it's been 30 years, So maybe you can change the world Once you have the throne "
I looked at Him as he Grinned at me
" I like your thinking " I laughed
" ANYWAYS You have to get up and get ready to meet with the Prince of Nekoma. They will be here in 3 hours you must get ready and look presentable. "
" UGH SUGA ANOTHER PRINCE REALLY!? " I said as I looked at Suga with my angry face
" y/n your ABOUT TO BE 17! You know how your father is. You need to find yourself a suitable prince for you to get married to.." Suga said as he pushed me off the bed.
" Now I must get going, SO DONT BE A PAIN IN THE ASS! " As he walked out the door I flipped him off.
" dOnT bE a pAiN iN tHe aSs! " I rolled my eyes as I mimicked Suga.
I get up from the ground, as I walked to the bathroom to shower and change.
As I changed into a white Flowy dress with lace straps I being to wonder what will I do for the next 3 hours before the prince of Nekoma came.
Hmm, maybe I should go see if Kags wants to hang out before I have to see the prince.
I leave my room as I walked thru the halls And greet the servants.
" Good morning y/n! "
I heard a recognizable voice so I decided to turn around
" OH GOOD MORNING TO YOU DACHI!! " I say in excitement
Dachi is an assistant who works for my father, he helps him plan his meetings and other important stuff.
" Where are you off to this early in the morning," he says in a suspicious tone as he raised an eyebrow.
" I'm off to go see if Kags isn't too busy, so we can hang around before the prince comes, " I say as Dachi changed his face into a smile.
" Oh ok! Well don't stay out there for too long you need to be presentable for the prince " he said
" Ugh, your guys and the prince of Nekoma " I rolled my eyes.
" You haven't even met the Poor guy just give him a chance. " Dachi said in a worried tone.
" Fine, I'll give him a chance but I have to get going"
" Ok get going but don't be late "
" OK THEN SEE YA " I waved at Dachi and ran for the open palace door.
I take a deep breath of fresh air.
Oh, how I love the outside, the flowers, the cute animals and can't forget the beautiful rivers filled with gold.
As I walked off to go Find Kags I began to get distracted by the stores and the smell of street food.
Many people Greet me as I walked around the place.
As I walked even further then I  bumped into a stranger.
" SHEEZ watch where you're going! " the voice said In an irritated voice.
" Well EXCUSE ME MAYBE YOU SHOULD WATCH WHERE YOURE GOING " I said in agitated voice as I get up from the ground
As I get up I see an unfamiliar face. He has brown silky hair with brown glistening eyes. He has such a pretty boy face it Tics me OFF.
" Here let me help you up " he said as he put his hand up.
" No no it's fine I got this " I said as I stood up straight
" Hmm you don't seem like your from here? "
" Uh how did you know " he said in a worried tone
" Cause no one wears a cloak " I said as I tried to keep my laughter in
" WELL FOR YOUR INFORMATION ITS A VERY FASHIONABLE LOOK " He said in a offensive voice.
" Yea yea whatever I have to get going " as I leave straight ahead the strange boy grabbed my wrist
" SHEEZ what's up with you "
" Uh I'm kinda lost " the brown hair boys says
" WHAT DO U MEAN YOUR LOST? " I looked at him dead in the eye
"Well-
" OK! where did you even come from? " as I questioned the boy I noticed he got nervous
" Ah from the fields near the river of gold," he said as he looked at the ground
" Hmm, that's pretty close to the border! " I said
" Ah yes yes THAT'S WHERE I want to go near the border," the boy said as he got excited.
" Well lucky for you I'm trying to get there "
" Perfect " he grinned
" Ok let's go before I change my mind "
" I'm coming ~," he said in a cheerful voice
As we walked I realized I never caught his name.
" HEY, PRETTY BOY WHAT'S UR NAME? " I shouted at him
" Me pretty boy ~ wow already catching feelings " he looked at me with a smirk
" Not even close " I rolled my eyes
" Well my name is Toru Oikawa," he said
" AH OK OIKAWA LETS GO I don't have enough time, I have to meet up with a random-ass prince " I said as I walked faster
" A prince? " Oikawa thought to himself as he walked behind you.
Chapter 2
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untestxd · 3 years
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(continued) // @wantslife​  07 .   a  kiss  to  say  what  you  can’t  say  aloud .
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 i. ‘ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ sᴛɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ, ʜᴜʜ?’.
Regret stung even now on his tongue. Like that rush of heat that sizzles away at flesh when you just can’t resist that first scorching bite of a pizza pocket. Mouth agape, gasping for air as you instantly rue such foolishness. He had snorted with laughter at the first sight of his fair-weathered friend’s radical new appearance. It had been the shock of it, more than anything. Scott didn't exactly ‘get’ the whole gender thing, not quite yet at least. Years later, when he was more travelled, he’d be more understanding of the matter. But you didn’t need to get why gravity worked to know it exists. No apple, no tree was needed to see that Adam looked so much more comfortable swamped in those grungy clothes of his. And he looked..better(?) for it too.  Was it the new-found confidence? The sheer ballsiness of it all to just.. own yourself? Despite what anyone thought? Finally, someone had been paying attention to Scotty, huh?
But truly, it was remarkable how little could change despite such drastic transformation. That long, dark, curly hair had been so easy to grab onto( weapon of choice in hand-to-hand fray) had vanished. Hell, it was shorter than Scott's own now. He, how had taken inspiration from his rock idols and decided to let it grow out in the last year, scraggly and untamed.
This was still him. Still Adam, despite artifice. The same dorky laugh.The same dorky smile. Did it shine brighter now? Was it because he could see more of the boy's face? Or was it that reclamation of identity? Or had he just forgotten how… radiant it could be?
Adam was still Adam, and Scott was still Scott. Something about that was comfortable, yet all the more off-putting. How could he have grown so much over one year? sᴜɴғʟᴏᴡᴇʀ, ʀᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴋʏ! Leave that prickly cactus in the shade.
ii. sᴛᴀʏ
Uneducated sailor, how weary you look with that map so clutched so tight in your hands. You look up at the stars, an endless barrage of light amongst inky nothingness. Your body feels so small, laid still against tattered planks of that lonely shipwreck. A black-eye, swollen and bruised is no eyepatch, fierce pirate (no matter how hard you pretend).

 Fingers can try to reach out, try to grab them—- but they were never yours to command. You’re adrift, lost cast out at sea; the stars cannot guide you home, you can’t chart them. Perhaps this is where you’re destined to drown, the deep is still far too deep for you.
ʙᴜᴛ ᴀᴠᴀsᴛ! What lies there over the horizon? Fear no more, here returns the morning’s gentle break rippling gold over broken tide. Nourishing frozen bones and granting that merciful peak beyond the curvature. Land ahoy, you’re closer to home than you realised.
Be quick! The days grow shorter with each passing moment— before you know it, it’ll be gone again. You can plea for it’s company all you like, but remember; it is not the sun that orbits you.
iii. ᴡᴀsɴ’ᴛ ɪᴛ ᴏʙᴠɪᴏᴜs?
How unimpressed Scott had been when he rocked back up to school, only to have the nerve of being taller than him now. An inch or two would make all the difference. He was lankier in frame, where Scott’s stockier build hadn’t quite lost his baby-face just yet. A poor attempt at a moustache would begin it’s journey to mask those features. Trailing round the corridors, acceptance came in the typical form of jest and banter.
( Yeah well, at least my dick is still bigger than yours! ) Ever the eager ally, the ultimate wing-man, Scott Tibbs. (Always the bridesmaid and never the bride) He’d practically helped all of his friends get set up with someone else at parties. The prize for being in the know, knowing just what made people tick, and how to get other’s to tock. Was he covering up his own discomfort of such change in Adam? Overcompensating in order to mitigate that knot in his chest every time he smiled at him?
He was never one to get tongue-tied, he was the bane of every freshman English class. Reputation preceded even him, you could smell the fear on each frail book-humping bitch when his name is called from the register. A ghost haunting over inky scrawl.  (Scott…Tibbs? ..Are you related at all to Kevin Tibbs?)
Ditching 6th period together to enjoy the last of the day’s sun, smuggled contraband under the bleachers. He’d listen to the boy ramble about whatever sad-sack he had his heart set on this week. The unending serial that was Adam Stanheight. One who’s re-runs would never get boring.
(adam? really? wow. inventive. That’s what you’re going with? What you do? Get to the first page of the phonebook and give up? You coulda picked any name! Adam. Fuckin’ pussy name.  )
He’d do his best to play loyal comrade, clown and jester- but man it pissed him off whenever those assholes just…ditched him like that.  Didn’t they know how…lucky they were?
ɪᴠ. ɪᴛ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴡᴀs
What’s wrong, Scotty? Where’s uh—-     that little girlfriend of yours gone?
Despite teasing sibling’s moniker, Scott had never seen Adam like that before. Not really. Crushes came and went, sure. Nina in 3rd grade, Lea in 7th. It was either him or Adam who usually screwed it up for him. Jealousy spiked in young boy’s strange choice of a friend, or simple mindless attempt to express his feelings in the only way he’d learned how; mindless repetition- teasing and hair pulling didn’t work on other kids like it did Adam. Sticky child could always hold his own, always fight dirty. Gap-tooth smile wide as they scrambled in the sand pit.
It was never the same. He always just felt like Adam got him. Listening to that goofy laugh as Scott jams out on air-guitar, insistent on listening to that one solo over and over until it burned into both of their minds. How it would mellow out years later, to the two just staring up at the ceiling, still listening to those same songs, content in shared silence.
Laying out on the mattress at home in dingy isolation, his brother in the next room with a group of ‘friends’ he’d never seen before. He’d shove those headphone on over his head and close his eyes tight. Sometimes it felt like Adam was still there. That Scott wasn’t here.
A teen boy is a teen boy regardless of anything; and it wasn’t unnoticeable that Adam’s body had begun to change. Ever the subject of teasing, a harsh twang of a bra-strap was met with grapple and loogie threatened dangling above Scott’s head. What had been such familiar gesture and interaction drove hormones wild. Hand accidentally grasped at soft tissue as he made his defence.
That was a no go. A NO GO.  It was weird! It was Adam. Like a brother to him, spit-shared handshakes cementing brotherhood on glorious summer nights.
But, Adam had changed.  Everything had changed now. It was…different. Now he was like a real brother. And where ignorance twist with feelings left the stupid boy feeling even stupider. Those.. feelings hadn’t gone away. Infact, they’d only grown stronger- but now repression fuelled (gasoline drenched) in other matter’s of Scott's own identity. Did this change anything? Everything?
-- And here he find himself again in Adam’s room. Man, there had been so much he’d missed out on in the last year. Somewhere between what Dru said to Elliot, to Rhi, to River—- all of it had been so busy. And all so meaningless. But he had to stay in the know, right? And whatever minute he spent ranting and raging on about teenage drama bullshit, he wasn’t thinking about just how close he was sat to the taller teen. Wasn’t thinking about how soft that smile looked on his features. Wasn’t letting his eyes falter down ever now and so often as grin tugged corners on his own. 
 He gets into his own story, with all the theatrics that came with it. But he was caught, frozen still like a screenshot captured at just the right time. He hadn’t seen it coming, and he certainly hadn’t expected it.It’s soft, and it’s warm. His words are stolen as he feels Adam kiss him, tender lips plush against his own dry smile. 
He sort of freezes up, system rebooting, trying to figure out what on Earth had just occurred. Adam… had kissed him. He was kissing him. Scott was..kissing him back. It was a rush of emotion that the wanna-be rockstar had never at once considered—- but, this was happening. This was happening? He tastes.. sweet. He isn’t quite sure what he’s meant to do, though in instinct lets lips part just a little to catch him back
Scott Tibbs, was this your…first kiss?
No, no. Of course not. This was Scott Tibbs we were talking about here. Bad-boy, deviant, nuisance. Disrupter of class, the clown everyone wanted at their party.He had plenty of friends he’d helped hook up together. Surely.. he’d done far more than even just kiss someone, right?Wrong. With all the shit that had been going on in his life, he had sort of forgotten about getting to this chapter with someone, somewhere, for himself. And his inexperience was put on display painfully here as hands freeze in previously gesticulated motion. Does he close his eyes? Does he keep them open? Does he do something? He pulls away, cherry-stained taste lingering on his lips wordlessly. What.. what does he say? What does this mean? What…? What?? He doesn’t know if this is good or it’s bad. No, this certainly wasn’t bad. This was just. A lot had changed. He swallowed, eyes wide as he scan’s Adam’s features for some sort of answer, like it would be etched somewhere in that face of his.  But it wasn’t in his smile. It was…it was in the kiss. The answer was there somewhere, on the… tip of the tongue?
ᴠ. ᴅᴏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ.
And he knows. So he does. And he smiles.
@wantslife​
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izartn · 4 years
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MDZS JGY fic promt
I’m thinking about Meng Yao/Jin Guangyao and I think I would love to read a fic of him snapping in the opposite direction of his desperate grab for power and respect from his shit father. We know, thanks to JGS gruesome murder that at some point, after already being a shitty human doing murdery things, JGY snapped hard and said: “if i’m gonna do the shitty things of running this sect i’ll do them for myself and fuck you to death”. Quite literally. 
So I’d like to imagine a world where he, like, not necessary becomes a much better person; I dunno about the JZX and WWX kill plot, or about NMJ. I think he’s very set in his auto-preservating self-beneficing ways, and if you don’t really work well with that part of his chara then he’s not JGY anymore. 
But instead of being, I’ll become the highest in the cultivation world, so i will be finally respected and listened to (uhm, didnt’ work especially well did it? they never let him forget his mother profession when it was his father who was the absolute worst) he decides that while cultivation is still something to aspire to -can’t forget about his mother dying dream, also longer life and health benefits + being a hero, doing the decent thing- he realises the cultivation sect system as it is horrible. 
He was in the middle of the war, he saw it from both sides. He then went to low to high but still a servant. And it’s always blood what counts. He sees what happens to his other bastard brothers, to WWX when he decides enough is enough, and how he himself is still treated by his Sect despite his intelligence and abilities. And instead of trying to take refuge in the system, he is a bit more self-aware or inquiring; maybe he is more idealistic in some ways? But still oh so bitter, and decides to destroy the system from within.
You know what? Do it so he still rises to Leader of the Jin Sect (without prostitutes murdering and necrophilia; he is now more on the side of the common, so maybe he gets the help of Sisi or someone he knows to aid him poison his father and after he gets them a nice reward and packs them to a new life in Japan or something. Or he simply uses another subtle method without intermediaries or with unaware ones, he is certainly able of doing that when he isnt being an ironic murderer shit.) because it’ll serve him, and to be the leader responsible of making sure the so estimated Jin blood is disposesed will make him smug pleased. To slowly gain power and bit by bit erase the division between the noble clans and people who learn simply bcs of talent, scouting youngsters witht the excuse of replenishing the clans after the war and quiting the idiots nobles from their spoiled positions. 
Hell you can even make LXC and NMJ (did he died before or after JGY becomes Sect Leader? Well if he is still alive, NHS doesn’t destroy him, but then WWX doesn’t come back. If he dies before, then the vengeance is still in play, but it’ll be even more fraughted bcs now JGY goals and methods are a lot more morally grey and watching WWX and LWJ confront that would be super interesting O-O), you can make them see those policies and be like, oh sure, that’s a good thing you’re doing A-yao. But also conflict with their positions in the nobility system, as time pases and JGY subtly passes more changes and brings to ruin those sect leaders more entrenched in the old ways and abusing of their people.
 Programs for literacy, for the spread of knowledge and the civil use of cultivation techniques with the excuse of avoiding beforehand the formation of ghosts and resentment appealing to the lazy nature of the rich while eliminating bit by bit the necessity of their existence, like boiling a frog, the creation of the watchtowers still fits nicely and we know in canon he faced oppposition there so here it’s more important still, even more so Su She I think, will be elated with this turn of events and even more loyal lmao if JGY sells it well and JGY sells his ideas really well. 
Maybe he helps XXC and SL bcs it’s in his interest they find success although he finds them naive; but JGY has a canon soft spot for people who treat him well regardless of his common born status, so. Maybe he intercedes with XY and convinces him to work with him taking out nobles reasonably (I bet XY will like that), and manages to avoid somehow XY elaborated revenge on SL and XXC? or executes him when he is too much of a wild card, but we know how that ended in canon... The best bet is making XY see on his own best interest to help in JGY vision but that’s well. almost crack fic lmao. 
OH! Maybe he finds XY before the massacre of the Chang clan bcs he is searching for someone to help him above table and gets to him by offering a more subtle but still suitable appropriate revenge with the pro bonus of getting to do the same to others after and access to WWX manuscripts. You know this has a much higher chance of working, let’s go with this scenario. So he keeps XY out of his father reach, when he is searching for someone to gain control of the stygian seal and wen ning. Yeah, this will appeal immensely to JGY xD
You know, and JGY being beloved by the people, and having more than a facade of being just or fair, but proving it although it isn't in the interest of the nobles. And as he is politics savvy, although with more effort he could certainly make it so he avoids assassinations or walking in a minefield like wwx etc. 
Depending on the NMJ situation... You could make it so NMJ doesn’t die and then they enter a stalemate of grudging respect bcs JGY wants more an ally in swaying people for his cause than his revenge, although he sure could make non lethal things to inconvenience NMJ lol. And NHS as sect leader wouldn’t have the same power to his decisions and reach, no matter if he is more manipulable; after all isn’t NHS a pampered noble in JGY eyes? Who could be sure if he even would follow JGY anyways... 
And you could give it different endings depending on the development of JGY: a success where he gets to the point were factually the sects aren’t bloods based anymore, just a few like the lan (those traditionalists lol) resisting an unavoidable wave of change taht comes for everybody, and the money doesn’t flow in their pockets like a river to the ocean but instead it goes back to the people. 
You could make it so it’s a partial success bcs JGY is still himself and does more than a few morally grey things that come to light with the NMJ murder reveal, but his changes linger and the common people plus others of the same ideal now trained and in process of being cultivators won’t let themselves be cowered by the awful nobility -another big conflict breeding, and maybe it won’t be successful but people have long memories and books and the new ideals of equality would spread regardless, so it would start again and again each time a bit better-. I think WWX POV in this case would be delicious omg, LXC conflict even more pointed. This would be, I think the more realistic and interesting to write take on the idea. Iand you now, I’m in favor of a novel setting and characterization, but to make it more painful, use the 16 gap of the show and nothing else (i haven’t see the show beyond the first episodes bcs i couldn’t take it lol)  so JGY has more time to make changes. 
You could make a downer ending (this I wouldn’t like lmao, but it’s there) so that shows the cruelty and inability of making changes to something so integrated and supported by itself, that JGY loses much to his revenge he takes more and more radical actions that come back to bit his ass with NMJ and JGS murder revelation. I think XY in here would be appropriate, in an antagonist role as in MDZS. But it still has an impact; JGY’s life, despite his faults was still more inspirational, made better impact than his canon self. Make it poetically tragic and a comment on the futility of trying to change society by oneself, but find beauty in the attempt itself which has created community, which will in the future do the true work of overthrowing the yokes of the high ups, educating and helping each other in their messy human lives.
All this ending, and JL conflict, who at this point has learnt much at his uncle JGY side, who has decided to (dunno about marrying QS and A-Song’s death. depending on your take and ending it’ll have different impact) go on with his labor bc he sees the good on it and swears to not be like the worst of JGY. A legacy he can reconcile with himself thanks too, to the experience of meeting WWX. JL is in a more fraught position with JC in this verse, I think, bc for one, he is more mature/not so spoiled and that would make JC glad, but his ideas are at the same time understable and anatema to JC who puts so much of his life on honoring the clan on making sure the Jiang carry on and his name isn’t forgotten but who recruited from nothing during the war. Who sees the danger in alienating the powers of the cultivation sects bc he saw what it did to WWX and he believes in protecting his own and to hell with the rest. 
So very interesting!!! 
You could spin so many takes from this, it’d be so fascinating and satisfying. I’d love to see the chara of JGY developed in this direction, bcs he has so much potential to waste it in so petty goals. His ambition is certainly big enough to believe he will damn well do a silent revolution well. 
Just, using the classics to argue for equality and education and a good life even if you’re a peasant, using the cultivation basis and its suppose use to better oneself and the world in making a point of avoiding wars and violent retribution (to the public, he’s still a bit of an hypocrit bcs it serves him well to have a stick with which to beat his enemies lmao) and instead use diplomacy and a sort of rehabilitation or service thing. Because those ideas are there, in the different clasics and schools of thought (not confucianism, not as much) it’s just that the nobles and high scholars were never interested and used them to argue for a sort of natural hierarchy were they’re in top. 
 Let JGY create a new school of thought, and LXC and others seeing the merit on it. JGY has the reach and the intelligence and the ability. 
The best revenge is living well and destroying the system which allowed the other to harm you, the ideas, the means. Create a fantasy fulfillment ^^
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thyandrawrites · 5 years
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HI THY!!! >:3c >:3c >:3c FOR THE FANFIC ASK MEME: 1, 3, 12, 13, 14, 19, & 25!! 💜💕❤️
Hey :’D Fancy seeing you here pfffff
1. favorite fic you wrote this year
My baby. My unruly child. The fic I spent countless nights losing sleep over (either because I was writing, plotting, or stressing about it XD). Butterfly Effect. Writing this fic is both a joy and an agony, but it has been so rewarding so far. The fact that it was such a challenging first longfic project made me improve on a lot of fronts, and tbh the fact that I managed to make a name for myself amongst certain cool dbhwks writers I admire thanks to it continues to blow my mind every day
3.  Favorite line/scene you wrote this year
mmh there are a lot of scenes from BE I could list here since BE is basically one of my most self-indulgent projects XD But the one I anticipated the most, and had a blast writing, was hands down the Dabi - Hawks - Endeavor confrontation in chapter 7. I live for big, dramatic scenes full of emotional conflict. 
It was tough to put it down on paper, I’ll admit, but definitely worth the challenge in the end. 
Also, if you allow me to be salty on main for a second, it was sooooo satisfying to write a big “fuck you” moment to e slur, lmao
12. favorite character to write about this year
Dabi is definitely my fave to write and also the one whose pov comes muuuuch easier to me, but somehow I always end up narrating fics from Hawks’ pov instead. So I’m gonna answer Hawks because despite how much fun I have with Dabi’s lines and with his thick little head, writing Hawks has been a process of learning what makes him tick. I basically relearned his character while writing him, while exploring his thoughts and letting him act and dictate the direction of the plot. He’s still a challenge to me sometimes, but that’s okay because I love him so much
13. favorite writing song/artist/album of this year
this is a tough question for me because I don’t really put on music while I’m writing. I find it distracting. I usually just put on rainymood full volume to drown out all the sounds and concentrate on the words, because that helps me get into the zone. But I definitely have dozens of dabi/hawks/todofam and dabihawks songs that have inspired me to write. Some of them were used as soundtrack for BE. A lot more were left out. If I were to do a selection of my top 5 favourites... mmmmhh I def listened to all of these before writing certain chapters to get in the right mood:
Twenty one pilots - trapdoor
Bring me the horizon - in the dark 
Set it off - wolf in sheep’s clothing
Radical face - let the river in
Amanda Palmer & The Grand Theft Orchestra - Trout Heart Replica
14. a fic you didn’t expect to write
answered here!
19. any new fics to start next year
I get new ideas every day as you might’ve noticed by now, but they rarely stick XD Maybe I’ll write that unwind AU I joked about a couple of days ago... Or maybe that funeral fic inspired by Enn’s song rec? Who knows, certainly not me lmao
There’s another project I would love to get my hands on. It will likely end up being another multichaptered fic tho, so I’ve been holding it off till now in fear of it overtaking everything else. Basically I wanna write an AU in which Touya did leave the family, but only in order to get his life together, be indipendent and financially stable enough to eventually come back and successfully snatch Shouto’s custody from their dad. The fic would then detail the process of two estranged siblings relearning each other, and learning how to trust each other. Dbhwks is an established relationship in this fic 
But knowing me it’d end up in another character study and I don’t have time for those XD Gosh I swore I would write something easy and lighthearted after finishing BE, damn it
Maybe I’ll finally write a fake dating AU instead since I’ve wanted to write one since I subscribed to ao3 in 2015 rip
25. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read
Just one? Nah, let’s say I’m allowed to rec at least 5. One is not enough ;; So, in no particular order: 
Lines Crossed by DrAphra
Lol excuse me if yours is the first to come to mind but I’m still SHOOK at that MAGNIFICENT Dabi vs E slur fight. Amongst other things. And before you say anything, I would’ve recc’ed it to everyone even if you hadn’t been the person to send the ask XD I was already planning on doing a ff spolight section on my blog and me being too writer blocked to gift you a fic on your b-day was entirely the reason behind it, so XD
i will love you without any strings attached by vitane
this!! fic!! hits!! all!! my!! favourite!! tropes!! at once!!!!! Yes starting from fake dating because I’m predictable like that XD
Face to Face by ohmytheon
todofam reunion fics always make me sob like a baby and this one hit me on all the right spots
Sometimes We Fall in the Dark by timetoboldlygo
I know you dislike krbk so don’t bother clicking this one XD Damn, this fic made me feel things. And it’s basically one of the best characterizations of Kirishima I’ve read in a looong while. 
Build Me a Funeral Pyre by Vhaenya
vhae is one of the authors I discovered thanks to ctabb, and thank god for discord because I was truly missing out. They made me cry since. chapter. fucking. one. 
Bonuses: 
decision height by blueskiddoo, Dragon Head, Snake Tail by Lycaonpictus7 & Starlight by glitteringeva are basically fandom classics by now, but those authors right there are two of my major inspirations so I gotta list them. All those fics hit one of my major weaknesses: well done character studies. Amongst my major inspirations should also sit Juurensha’s you’re not the wind beneath my wings (but you are the fire that keeps me warm). it wasn’t published in 2019 but I’m gonna list it anyway, tho it’s another fandom classic that everyone and their mom now (should) know and with good reason, man
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My 18 Favorite Albums of 2018
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Well...Here it is again! 2018 was a...YEAR. One of the toughest I’ve had so far. But full of hard work, growth, challenges, & little victories. Here are some of the albums that soundtracked it. 18 releases that I loved & supported. Songs that helped me make it through. For the seventh year in a row...My favorite albums. Listed here in no particular order (unless you know/enjoy the english alphabet). Top 5 are probably Monae, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Field Report, McEntire, & Liza Anne, in that order. Music marks time & space. These are the ones for this year. Enjoy! 
AMERICAN TRAPPIST   /   Tentanda Via
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       We start our 2018 journey in a comfortingly familiar place with the second official full length album from Toms River, New Jersey’s American Trappist. His self-titled debut made my 2016 favs list and his old band River City Extension (top 5 reunion tour wish list for sure!) were second to Fun. on my list way back in 2012. Safe to say Joe Michelini is one my favorite songwriters of the last 10 years. Lucky for us, 2018 found Michelini writing equal parts depressing & uplifting boardwalk rock & roll for/from the underdog/underground. Tentanda Via (Latin for “the way must be tried”) is a blast of an album; full of horns, drums (both jazzy & rock & roll-y!), inspired piano, & Michelini at the helm sounding altogether confident in his existential breakdowns. To me this reads like a coming-of-age album at heart (the way must be tried!), but a deeper, wiser sort of unraveling. A mid-30′s rock opus about learning to live with yourself. Learning how to make yourself better. These songs are inspiring and mix more than a little Springsteen ethos (maybe it’s the horns?!) with some late 90′s/early 2000′s emo/indie/alternative etc...
The straightforward rockers “Death Wish” & “Nobody’s Gonna Get My Soul” bookend the nine track album with surprisingly nimble & crunchy electric riffs and off-the-charts energy! In between, the mid tempo drive of “Getting Even” & “Don’t Get In” lets Michelini’s emotional writing really shine. The words jump out of the songs, full of passion, desperation, & an urgency that makes me glad people are still making records like this. There’s also a unholy, weird interlude that you have to hear to believe called “Unfresh Dirtwolf.” American Trappist is a band that came from the ashes of another band. A band that seems reluctant to tour West of...Ohio. A band that stays under the radar. Michelini has been writing some of my favorite songs for awhile & it feels good growing older together. Here’s hoping for a new one of these every other (or just every?!) year for me to belt along to with the windows down in my Subaru. Joe, if you’re listening out East, don’t stop. This is why I love music. 
       “Driving through my hometown I feel the peace of the Lord / Ride up behind me on a blind dream from my childhood / Looking back again, it’s hard to understand / Getting older, I guess I do / Waiting on some waking dream like it might find you...”
BLACK BELT EAGLE SCOUT   /   Mother of My Children
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       I bought Black Belt Eagle Scout’s debut album at Twist & Shout Records the day it came out. I think I loved the cover art and the idea of Katherine Paul’s solemnly solo rock album, recorded in the dead of Winter in rural Washington, sounding like just what I wanted in my headphones to face the Fall. Then (as so often happens) I got a text a month later from my partner at 12:27am that read simply...
“I’m okay. Going to bed meow. Listen to Black Belt Eagle Scout.” 
From there we took Mother of My Children on a snowy road trip to Durango, Colorado. Crisscrossing mountain passes through snowstorms, & visiting Mesa Verde National Park, we let Paul’s earnest, determined, & emotional songs, sweep us into the gray. All this to say that this album has already marked some pretty specific time & place for me. There is a starkness to these songs, a simplicity that makes the songwriting stand alone. Where lesser lyricists would be revealed as phonies (or simply bad) Katherine Paul’s stark, powerful words are illuminated by her minimalist production. With a rhythmically mournful 80′s/90′s emo touch (for more modern emo fans I might even hear a little Manchester Orchestra) Paul doesn’t pull any punches. The guitar gets delightfully heavy on the outro to six minute epic opener “Soft Stud” and then twirls & spirals with the drums in the entrancingly sad “I Don’t Have You in My Life.” This is an important album for Paul to have written and there is a great power in her words. Oh also... she plays every instrument on the album!?! Guitar, bass, drums, vibraphone, keyboard, organ, various percussion, & all vocals. Very Vagabon. Very Caroline Rose (spoiler alert!)! With our world on fire, and full of threats (from our own government) to native lands & native people, it’s increasingly important to listen to and hear/heed the words and writings of people like Paul; a radical, indigenous, queer, feminist from Oregon. Thanks for speaking out KP. Listen to Black Belt Eagle Scout. 
       “Do you ever notice what surrounds you? When it’s all bright & tucked under / Do you ever notice what’s around you? When it’s all right under our skin...”
CAMP COPE   /   How To Socialise & Make Friends
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       Camp Cope is a GREAT band name. Camp Cope is a REALLY GREAT band. Camp Cope has a wit & an attitude that is so punk rock, so genuine, & How To Socialise & Make Friends is a powerful album. Hailing from Melbourne, Australia, Camp Cope rides a practiced garage-y sound and lead singer & lyricist Georgia Mac’s passionate howl and impressive writing. As someone who grew up on early 2000′s pop-punk, emo, & alternative (something I guess I probably regret more often than celebrate. Because toxic masculinity & white male fragility) there is something so bittersweetly nostalgic in these chord progressions, the earnest electric strums, the yell-sing vocals, that takes me back to high school. Georgia Mac has a way with words, sliding them in & out, over cascading, steady strums, & then sometimes building them up to a frantic yelling. These are songs that sound as if they had to come out, had to be sung this way, like no one else could write or sing them. With an equally muscular rhythm section, “The Opener” attacks music industry sexism head on (if you haven’t seen Camp Cope live, it is chill inducing hearing a whole room belt along to every word) with a bass riff that could fly a jetliner. The three members interact so well together musically and everything from the driving “UFO Lighter” to the lilting “Sagan, Indiana” sounds tightly rehearsed. Equally passionate in their social media presence and their willingness to engage and fight for social justice issues, Camp Cope represents the future. Bands like this are changing the game right now and it’s exciting to hear it in real time. 
When I close my eyes for a second, as the title tracks rings out and the gorgeously, lightly sad “The Face of God” ambles in, I’m 17 again. I’m driving for the first time, crying at the moon by myself or laughing with my friends. I’m a freshman in college, skipping my Friday classes (and braving mountain passes!) headed west, headed home. Then I snap awake and I’m 32, it’s Winter here and Georgia bellows “Just get it all out, put it in a song. Just get it all out, write another song!” Thanks Camp Cope. This album is special. 
       “It’s another all-male tour preaching equality / It’s another straight, cis man who knows more about this than me / It’s another man telling us we’re missing a frequency / SHOW ‘EM KELLY / It’s another man telling us we can’t fill up the room / It’s another man telling us to book a smaller venue / Nah, hey, cmon girls we’re only thinking about you / Well, see how far we’ve come not listening to you / ‘Yeah just get a female opener, that’ll fill the quota’...”
CAROLINE ROSE   /   Loner
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       It took Caroline Rose four years from her weirdly rootsy-riffy debut album to find her true self, but Loner sounds every bit like an artist comfortable in their own skin & confident in their craft. Dialing up the synths, fuzz, and brilliantly tongue-in-cheek lyrics, Rose touches on all the big topics: drugs, death, sex (ism), and money! with a casual, conversational songwriting maturity that belies her 28 year old sophomore-ness. Favorites include “Jeannie Becomes a Mom” (check out that bouncy organ!), the steady build & twisty, head-turning songwriting of “Getting To Me,” & the electro warp & wend of “To Die Today.” I was finally convinced into falling for this album when my partner played it three times (or was it six?) back-to-back-to-back on a rainy Summer Sunday afternoon drive from Granby, CO back into Denver. Something about the pacing; the complex, yet immediate song structures that leave you wanting more. These are songs of tested confidence. But shining through it all, Rose is a wild card. A red clad rockstar with a palpable spirit, not afraid to wear her heart on her sleeve & laugh a little along the way. Loner is full of dance jams for the cool kids & the loners. At its core it preaches acceptance, and teaches us to love ourselves & love each other for who we are. Go Caroline! See you in a month in LA! 
       “Waitress sets the tables, two & four & six / Laying placemats, knife, fork, spoon, upon napkin / All the counter people, she knows us all by name / A counter people fission, everywhere we are the same... / & so you line ‘em up, a single cell, another one gone / Ostracon vase with your name on the line...”
FIELD REPORT   /   Summertime Songs
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       At some point during this year I begin to realize how important beloved songwriters releasing new works is always going to be to me, I was falling (& re-falling) for new works from long time favs Calexico, Gregory Alan Isakov, Florence & The Machine, & of course Phosphorescent. But somehow it was Field Report’s third release Summertime Songs that stuck and became perhaps the most meaningful of all. I fell in love with Field Report in the midst of a hard, hard winter (2012 I think). Their sophomore album Marigolden has been a constant companion since 2014. I first heard this set of songs (the ones that comprise Summertime) in the June of 2017, sweating in the familiar Eau Claire, Wisconsin heat. Hearing a set of 100% new, unreleased material is exciting and also kind of a risk. After the set I wrote that the new tunes “Sound like June. Like wet cement & flash floods. Like swollen rivers & mosquitos full of hard fought human blood. Like growing older & having kids. Intimate details stretched over skittery, percussive thunderclouds. Like grabbing an electric fence. Digging in &...replanting.” I was 100% in it. On a high in Wisconsin & falling deeper in love with music. Then Field Report went mostly silent & we had to wait till early 2018 to get the recorded versions. Adding even more drums (Shane Leonard deserves a shout-out here as a killer pocket player!) some electronic effects, and ramping up on the arm-out-the-rolled-down-window singalongs definitely serves Chris Porterfield (did you know the name Field Report is just an anagram of his last name?!) well. Whoever it was who asked him “why don’t you try Summertime songs” was on the right track. His songwriting is as electric as always on this set of heartbreakers & as usual he follows a lot the same threads. His lyrics here are visceral, wordy, & wise, & i can feel the songs growing up with me. Sometimes I lead, sometimes they lead me, but we always seem to find each other exactly when we need to. 
       “Time is a bird with a mean, hooked beak / & he’s just waiting around to work on you & on me... / Shotgun wedding, black on blue / The river’s swelling like a bruise...”
H.C. McENTIRE   /   Lionheart
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       Heather McEntire has been carving out a name for herself in the North Carolina music scene for years fronting old-school punk band Bellefea & more recently, the much loved Mount Moriah. But way way back in January, Lionheart roared in under her own name; all ferocious & tender, confident & wild. A true southern record, Lionheart is vocal & lyric forward. From the Sunday morning hymn swell of opener “A Lamb, A Dove,” to the driving swing of “Baby’s Got the Blues,” & the late night, red wine country of “When You Come For Me.” McEntire enlists all her talented musical friends on this effort. There are co-writes with the legendary Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill (whom McEntire credits with helping her find her individual voice), bgvs from Amy Ray (Indigo Girls), Angel Olsen, & Tift Merrit, & inspired guitar work from William Tyler & Durham favorite Phil Cook!
Through it all, McEntire stays true to the thread that made Mount Moriah’s “How To Dance” one of my 2016 favs. Lionheart exudes the smells & scenery of North Carolina and reads like a map at times, referencing points from Stoney Creek to the Green River Gorge. Some of my favorite songs written over the last five years (or ever) have a very strong (& often specific) idea of place. If country music is going to representative of the country that I want to live in, it’s going to be sung by people like Heather McEntire.  A powerful queer southern woman; vulnerable & brave, a true Lionheart. 
       “You’ll find me in the hollow, dosing anything that might / Make the map look any smaller, give me a dog in the fight / So call it off or call it God, call it anything you like / Do you see it in my eyes? / A levee on the rise, do you see it? / The tellin’ ain’t told gently, so pay your tab & pay your dues / The dogwood & the chicory & a silent wood stove flue / Your baby’s got the blues just like you...”
iZCALLi   /   IV
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       I was late to the party on Izcalli (a band from my own city!) and when I found them, it was magical, I think they were playing an opening set for Jessica Hernandez & The Deltas at Lost Lake and I probably stumbled in late from PS Lounge or Tommy’s Thai to shredding electric guitar & ska, latin funk, & pure Led Zepplin Rock & Roll. Frontman Miguel Avina was howling & stomping in Freddy Mercury-meets-Mariachi white pants, his long curly hair everywhere, all energy. I was immediately hooked. Calling them my favorite local band and finally getting to put them on this end of the year list. Izcalli joins some pretty good “local band” company here on linernotes&seasons. From Nina De Freitas’ EP last year; Yawpers, Covenhoven, & Rateliff in 2015, to Isakov & Covenhoven in 2013 & The Lumineers all the way back in 2012! Izcalli has been playing around Denver for 13 years and have slowly built up enough of a following to headline the Bluebird Theater last year. Their fourth album (aptly titled IV) comes out swinging and showcases plenty of heavy power chord riffs, violin, horn, & songs in both English & Spanish. Their heavier, more classic rock influenced songs (”Lightning Red” & “Eso Velocidad”) absolutely explode with fiery lead guitar and inspired drumming. When they dial it back and let their Mexican influences show through, like on the eerily crunchy, violin led “Quite de Mas” and the woozy saxophone breakdown of “Solo Se Morir,” they showcase depth and a real songwriting ability. There is an almost Muse-like thunder to the monstrous organ riff of “A New Lie” and closer “Si Estoy Contigo” sends everybody out dancing. With influences from all over (most notably their homeland Mexico City) & a live show that’s not to be missed, Izcalli embodies everything I think of when I think of a true Denver band. 
       “A frozen heart in me turned out to be my one way home / I swear I’ll leave, I’ll drive myself down to Mexico...”
JANELLE MONAE   /   Dirty Computer
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       Dirty Computer is my favorite album of 2018. Much like my favorite album last year (Lorde’s Melodrama) no one was as simultaneously honest & excavating in their personal songwriting; while still writing such absolutely shredding club bangers, as Janelle Monae. Dirty Computer acts as a coming out party of sorts for the 32 year Kansas City-ian, although, to be fair, her first two albums had already scored her Grammy nominations and the stamp of approval from Prince, Eryakah Badu, & Michelle Obama. Her debut The ArchAndroid and her followup The Electric Lady, found her creating elaborate alter egos, protest songs, and complex, critically acclaimed song cycles about life as a black woman in America. With Dirty Computer she is able to hold multiple titles at once. Schizophrenically on top of her game, tying all her alter egos together with stellar production, monster vocals, and some of the best, most interesting pop songs since...well...maybe since Prince. From the Brian Wilson assisted eerie sci-fi sweetness of stage setting opener “Dirty Computer,” she lets loose on some of her most fun, live-a-little anthems “Crazy, Classic Life,” and “Take a Byte.” Deeply personal, political, & inspiring “Django Jane” is stunning, & sets the stage for mega back-to-back singles “Pynk” & “Make You Feel.” Songs of my (and everybody else’s) Summer for sure. “I Got The Juice,” is light & bouncy, & personal favorite “I Like That” is rebellious & rides an immediately memorable instrumental into one helluva vocal take from Monae. She makes a political statement in closing with the anthem “Americans,” (anybody else think this one especially sounds like a lost Prince track?) but her strength is her ability to be both personal & political; a true diva with a purpose. These songs are Janelle creating and sounding exactly how she wants, pushing the limits of what a superstar can do, Her show at the Paramount in July was a highlight for me, and Dirty Computer is hands down my album of the year. 
       “Box office numbers & they doin’ outstanding, running out of space in my damn bandwagon / Remember when they use to said I look too mannish? / Black girl magic yall can’t stand it...”
LIZA ANNE   /   Fine But Dying
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       In a year where I seemed to gravitate to albums & songs about living in, and growing through, mental health issues; Liza Anne’s blistering (and epically titled!) Fine But Dying was definitely a top five album for me. A gifted songwriter, Dying finds Anne finally letting it out with a heavy band, a light touch, & a deep dive into the insecurities & struggles that seemed to be (gulp) some of the same ones I was going through this year. Songs about conversations, relationships (both romantic & platonic), and most importantly, about examining & improving yourself. No one on this list unpacks, observes, and mines their own heart & mind as well or as deeply as Anne does across these 11 tracks. When she really cuts loose, like in the ballistic breakdown of “Kid Gloves,” the fuzzy crunch of “Get By,” or the spiraling, swirling (& also epically titled!) “I Love You, But I Need Another Year” she shines. Fine But Dying is wise beyond its years and a no-holds-barred, place-in-time look at mental health & how we should all be addressing our issues & working things out. Her show at Globe Hall here in Denver back in April was cathartic, thoughtful, & one of my favorite of this year for sure. Yay for fearless songwriters, Yay for rock & roll. Fuck yeah Liza Anne!
       “I ran once, took my flight across the ocean / I thought if I could make my way across the sea I’d find a place / Now I’m swallowed up by a city that doesn’t give a fuck / To whether I am up on time / Or whether if I am, well...alive / & I’m so good - getting too good at hiding / Too good at keeping to myself that I’m spiraling...”
MESHELL NDEGEOCELLO   /   Ventriloquism
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       I think it was “Atomic Dog 2017″ that first caught my ear at some point last year. I didn’t know Meshell Ndegeocello, but I knew that what I was hearing was classic. The off-kilter guitar strums slithering into that bass drop, finally settling into a steady groove, that melody appearing (seemingly out of nowhere) into a rolling, & instantly recognizable chorus. Next thing I know I’m googling George Clinton and off into an 80′s funk youtube rabbit hole. A covers album to stand up to any other covers album, Ndegeocello has a masterpiece on her hands in both song selection & creativity. In a year where she turned 50, the sneakily titled Ventriloquism is her 12th studio album, Inspired by listening to oldies radio on car rides to her childhood home, influenced by Prince & Neil Young; Ventriloquism is a super smooth revamp of 80s & 90s R&B. What Ndegeocello does so seamlessly on Ventriloquism is take these songs and make them flow as a part of a whole. There is light in the darkness here. There are threads of continuation here. An appreciation for those who came before, those who paved the way. Ndegeocello is a true artist and these reinterpretations not only nod to classic songs & artists, but dig out their own little important niche in 2019. 
       “Sometimes it snows in April / Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad / Sometimes I wish life was never ending / & all the good things they say, never last / Springtime was always my favorite time of year / A time for lovers holding hands in the rain...”
MIYA FOLICK   /   Premonitions
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       Every year I wait till the last minute (and beyond!) to finish this list. I write it up in November & December, agonizing & filling out what I think are my favorite albums (18 this time!) of the year. I enjoy whittling the list down to a manageable number, but I also enjoy reading everyone else’s lists; finding new finds & hearing what other people liked. Then, sometime in the middle of December, I am knocked out by something I missed over all the year of listening & reading. This year it is MIYA FOLICK! I was given a wintry new year’s mix of goodbye 2018 (and F*** you!) tunes from my partner (which I will probably post & write about sometime as soon as I finish posting this because it is goooood), and track 9 of that spotify mix. Bouncy horns, a killer beat, & lyrics that cut right to me but leave me smiling. Rhyming “self home” with “cellphone”?! Singing about leaving the party?! Yesssss!. This is for me! On deeper listens, Premonitions is a goddamn masterpiece. Starting slowly & melodically, openers “Thingamajig” and the title track are captivating, then it unexpectedly explodes into 80′s dance bangers about half way through. Most of the album is deeply personal and self examining, finding Folick digging into to her own weaknesses & fears, without always settling on answers. She is vulnerable yet grand; part Lorde, part Florence, part Stevie NIcks, part Regina Spektor...All Miya. At its core, Premonitions celebrates life, celebrates the little victories. If you want to know/hear what that sounds like, maybe I should let you read from Miya’s bandcamp page...
       “Premonitions begins with ‘Thingamajig’ -- something you can't quite recall the name of, but you know exactly what it means and what it feels like. Like the pull of desire that comes with not quite remembering fully. The magnetism of something just on the tip of your tongue. I wanted the album to feel like that thing.
I think a lot about about memory-making as an act of creation, the words we use to describe a memory give shape to and sometimes mutate the memory itself. I believe that the way we choose to describe the events of our lives is not only a means of creative fulfillment, but an absolutely vital part of creating the world we want to live in. When we are dishonest in the present, we create a dishonest future. When we are honest in the present, we create a more honest future. I wanted this album to be the vehicle for a hopeful, truthful, generous, and loving world. I tried not to posture or pretend. I wrote about my life as I've seen it and how I'd like to see it, as both memory and premonition.
The producers, Justin Raisen and Yves Rothman, and I spent months collecting organic sounds to fill the world of this record. We threw away everything that felt false and tried to keep the soul of each song alive. I hope Premonitions gives you comfort and joy. I hope it feels like all the mysterious details of your lives, all your massive and mundane glories. I hope it reminds you that there is beauty in the details. Rainbows in your sprinklers. Drinking water from a hose. The way it felt to make a friend for the first time. Locking yourself in a bathroom to avoid everyone. Dancing until your shins burn. Leaving your phone in an Uber and making your best friend drive you an hour away to knock on a stranger's door after locating it on Find My Phone. Losing a friend. Losing yourself. Remembering...”
MT. JOY   /   Mt. Joy
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I had almost finished making this list and nearly forgot about an album that marked a month-plus in the Spring when I listened to almost nothing else! Philly by way of LA’s Mt. Joy debut with an album that blends sunny California folk & smoothed out east coast pop-emo, into easy listening, easy singing indie rock. Named after a mountain in Valley Forge National Park (SE Pennsylvania); Mt. Joy’s songs similarly find geographic touch points across the US, making this a true road trip record. Multiple California references (San Fran, Mulholland, Hollywood, the ocean), make their way down to New Orleans, and end up on the east coast (”blood on the streets in Baltimore” & “the beaches of Chincoteague”). Without breaking any new musical ground, Mt. Joy sounds comfortable & confident, and their songs play bigger & stickier than your average radio friendly pop-saturated-folk. When the title track hits its festival ready build (”you can’t stop us, feel like Ziggy Stardust”) you’ll have a hard time not rolling down your window and singing along. “Way up over Mt, Joy. Where everyone’s free now. To move how they feel now.”
       “Your life will change straight out of the blue / The clouds in your mind just passing through / Image the horses when you set ‘em free / Go tear down the beaches of Chincoteague...”
NONAME   /   Room 25 (& Song 31)
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       Room 25 kicks in innocently enough: smoothly humming wordless voices, steady drums, & jazzy piano flourishes. Like a lazy Sunday morning. Noname (Chicago’s 27 year old Fatimah Warner) introduces herself with a laid back, matter-of-fact, stream of consciousness “maybe this is the album you listen to in your car when you’re driving home late at night, really questioning every god, religion...” But then she says something that should make you pay attention. 
“Nah. Actually this is for me.” 
That creative confidence. That freedom, defines the rest of her album. No matter how much critical acclaim Room 25 racks up (I saw this album on a ton of end of the year lists!), no matter how downright fun & laugh out loud funny her breakneck rhymes are, this one is for Noname. I mean, you can still download (aka OWN...like for your ipod!) the whole album on bandcamp FOR FREE! Following in Chance’s footsteps, it’s free mp3s for people like meeee! Raised in Chicago’s slam poetry scene, she dabbles here in downtempo, smoothed out, futuristic jazz & soul. All the while she is unapologetically herself. Her words tripping over each other, too many thoughts, too much energy, too much passion to hold in. A clear blockbuster talent. One of my favorite new finds from last year’s Eaux Claires festival, her late afternoon set up on the hill was radiant & joyful. The artwork I used here is from her early 2019 single “Song 31,” as she has pledged to change the official Room 25 cover art, due to assault charges leveled in October against the artist who did the original cover. “I do not and will not support abusers, and I will always stand up for victims & believe their stories.” Noname said, and she has been proven to be as vocal in her personal life as she is on tape. As she says in the uplifting “Ace...” 
“Globalization is scary, and fuckin’ is fantastic” And yall still thought a bitch couldn’t rap huh?...
       “When labels ask me to sign, say ‘my name don’t exist’ / So many names don’t exist / Moved into Inglewood & the trauma came with the rent / Only worldly possession I have is life / Only room that I died in was 25... 
Medicine’s overtaxed, no name look like you / No name for private corporations to send emails to / Cuz when we walk into heaven, nobody’s name gonna’ exist / Just boundless movement for joy, nakedness, radiance...”
RAINBOW KITTEN SURPRISE   /   How To: Friend, Love, Freefall
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       Rainbow Kitten Surprise made one of my five favorite albums this year (and probably the one that I sang along to in the car more than any other!) Imagine Modest Mouse growing up in North Carolina, in the 2010′s, writing smart, anti-lumineers-imagine dragons tunes, and going on to play arenas & rock clubs alike. This Boone, NC (pop. 17,000) five piece crank out catchy pop rock tunes; equal parts funky basslines, ooohs & ahhhs, and deceptively clever lyrics about religion, the south, and relationships both platonic & romantic. Huge single “Fever Pitch” rides rolling drums, background whoops, and finds charismatic frontman Sam Melo languidly recounting his religious upbringing and sing-rapping about getting to know you better. Other standouts include the acoustic blues (and Aha-Shake-era-Kings of Leon reminiscent!) “Painkillers,” the “Moon & Antarctica” rattletrap sing-song of “Possum Queen,” and the laugh-out-loud funny breakneck alternative pace of “Matchbox.” But it is song of the year contender “Hide” where Melo lays bare his feelings about growing up gay in a deeply religious south, when you get a peek at what Surprises these Rainbow Kittens are capable of. What starts as a bouncy love number takes a turn into some deep songwriting with “I’m running from a place where they don’t make people like me, I keep the car running, I keep my bags packed. I don’t wanna’ leave, just don’t wanna’ leave last.” This is Fruit Bats’ “Soon-to-be Ghost Town” written by someone who’s lived it. RKS packages it all up as emotional anthems, dancey-catchy choruse that stick, & an album that-while serious, is so damn fun to sing along to. They’ll be at Red Rocks next Summer so come hop on the bandwagon and get to know your new favorite band!
       “You’re a master of passive-aggressive magic tricks like “that’s not the card that I would’ve picked, but it’s your life to live like how you’d like to live...’”
SUN JUNE   /   Years
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       Sun June’s debut record Years is an album that I never expected to be on this list, but one that pushed its way into my heart, ears, and mind a lot over the early Summer. I kept comparing it to Leif Vollebekk’s gorgeously haunting 2017 release Twin Solitude that made it on last year's list in that it managed to be rhythmically funky & interesting while being mostly SO quiet. Even the more “upbeat” numbers; from the gorgeously, golden swing of “Young,” to the steady backbeat of “Baby Blue” keep their composure meticulously. The writing is transfixing on Years and the band is so tight, with every member adding just the right amount of soft sound. I tried to explain it to somebody as music you have to “squint to hear.” It sounds good in the background, all sweet & rolling. But better up close, turned up in headphones. All together & bright. This is an album I would listen to sleepily, on my way home from work, driving Colfax in the first light of dawn at 5 in the morning. Sun June’s lack of an internet presence is refreshing (is there ANYWHERE I can find the lyrics for this album??!!), I think they’re from Texas, and I don’t think they’ve even played a show in Colorado yet! Regardless, Years is tied together with a quietly tight rhythm section, and Laura Colwell’s wispy vocals, grabbing at the edges of my brain, calmy insisting “Four in the morning, I could get used to this...”
       “I was almost always leaving / Looking for the reason / Bedside hospital daylight / I go with the Southern mountains / Down the 405, I’m coming tell me you don’t deserve this / I was young...”
TIERRA WHACK   /   Whack World
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       I love me a good concept album, but even I would’ve thought that the idea of 15 one minute songs(complete with video accompaniment) making up an entire album, would be a tough sell. Whack World makes good on an innovative concept, delivering something breezy, catchy, & lasting, and making Tierra Whack one of my favorite new finds of 2018! My little sister showed her to me on a “Get-your-ass-to-the-gym” playlist and “Fruit Salad” was immediately stuck in my head for weeks. Mostly down-tempo, Whack is clearly a witty lyricist and creative mind, and at 23, a game changer in the music scene. Also an effortlessly cool, musical, badass. With almost no choruses, this is an album you can listen to over and over (and throw any tracks in mixes) without any clear singles. The bouncy gospel-tinged “Pet Cemetery” has hand claps & dog barks, and is followed immediately by the laugh-out-loud vocals of “Fuck Off.” Whack never takes herself too seriously (so many off the wall and laugh out loud funny vocals!) and the Philly native shows that one minute songs can turn a lot of heads and end up on a lot of end of the year best album lists! Whack World!
       “Crispy clean and crisp & clean / For the dough I go nuts like Krispy Kreme / Music is in my Billie genes / Can’t no one ever come between yeah / Don’t worry about me I’m doing good, I’m doing great, alright...”
TYPHOON   /   Offerings
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       It seemed like a lifetime since Typhoon released their sophomore knockout, masterpiece album White Lighter back in 2013. I’ve grown a lifetime since, experienced everything since. In the first few weeks of January 2018, out of the darkness, out of the silence: came something darker, weirder, but still magical and at its core, celebratory. Typhoon is one of my all-time favorite bands, one of my favorite live shows, and frontman Kyle Morton writes about memory & loss, life & death, better than anybody in the game. With Offerings they have dropped the peppy horns, slimmed down to (only!) seven members, and zeroed in on the heavy, spiraling folk-rock that hearkens back a little to Bright Eyes or The Decemberists, Broken Social Scene or Arcade Fire. As a loose concept album, Offerings explores in four movements (Floodplans, Flood, Reckoning, & Afterparty) what happens to a mind stripped of memory. Or (side quest/plot/twist) a world willfully forgetting its history. From the hushed chanting that explodes into huge string swells, drums, and shouts of opener “Wake” to the rhythmic, glowing build of the 8 minute “Empricist,” to the mystical picking and ruminating of “Algernon” the first movement could almost stand as an album of its own. The rest of the album unravels at equal parts slow reflection (”Mansion” & “Beachtowel”) and sweeping indie rock (”Remember” & “Darker”). Although a lengthy (and at times not easy) listen, I think Offerings will go down as one of the most ambitious rock records of the last few years. 
       “& so the light fades / It’s still your birthday / So blow out your past lives like they’re candles on a cake...”
VALLEY MAKER   /   Rhododendron
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       There is a mysticism buried somewhere in the emotive vocals & break-in-the-clouds writing of North Carolina by way of Washington State’s Valley Maker. Austin Crane is the singular voice behind the Valley Maker project, painting time & space on a dark, slippery canvas, and hiding complex truths in the rhythmic tides of Rhododendron. This ground has been tread before; by countless folk singers & prophets, wailing of death, dark magic, & the myriad mysteries of time, but Valley Maker understand their place in the linear and bring a modern take to ancient stories. Part War on Drugs-highway-drone (check the double yellow rattle of “Light on the Ground”), part Ben Howard’s-foggy-British-countryside (”Beautiful Birds Flying”), Crane writes songs that stick. They claw and seep their way into skin, into veins, and haunt in a way that echoes of the past. This is songwriting as a conduit. These stories are Crane’s, but they are older; tales told since religion begin. From the first lines of the roiling, dark sky opener (”time is just a game I play / it’s written on the ocean’s waves / circling beyond my brain / something I could not contain.”) to the uncertain give & take of the earthy “Seven Signs” (”I’m cutting in line but I haven’t decided...”) the writing is equal to the musicianship Crane and his backing band clearly have in spades. With Chaz Bear (Toro Y Moi) providing stellar percussion and Amy FItchette (who I was lucky enough to see sing with VM at the Doug Fir in Portland) lending absolutely haunting, otherworldly harmonies, Crane has depth beyond his strange tunings and bleep & bloop electric forests. Through it all there is a steady rhythm to the darkness and like in “Baby, In Your Kingdom” when he tops a wonderfully simple, acoustic walk-down with “Baby are you satisfied? Take a decade, take a lifetime, I know we’re always on a one way street...” there is a timeless beauty even in the mystery. Oh, and saxophone. Rhododendron has some great saxophone. 
       “Baby in the next life / I can touch you, I can ride the light / Goddamn I wan’t where I thought I’d be / 29. Burn the world around me & I hide / Baby in your kingdom / Sink my roots in, I’m a tall tree / I know, wind is gonna blow again / I know, when I am with you...I am known...”
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joannalannister · 7 years
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Daenerys Targaryen & JFK
“...let both sides join in creating a new endeavor, not a new balance of power, but a new world of law, where the strong are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved. 
“All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.”       --President Kennedy's Inaugural Address, January 20, 1961
“Shall we begin?”      --Daenerys Targaryen, Game of Thrones 7x01
This post was inspired by a Dany quote from the show, but imma do what I usually do with the show, which is project my book!feelings all over it. This post is not intended to be a commentary about the show**, it’s about the books.
**There is one other Dany quote from the show that I intend to comment on below, but only because I feel it ties into the above JFK quote, in terms of ASOIAF themes and Dany’s book!characterization.
I’ve been thinking about this since the summer, when I first saw show!Dany trailing her hand lovingly over the Painted Table, over the hills and valleys, the rivers and mountains, places she’d heard about her whole life. A quote from A Game of Thrones was playing over that scene in my mind:
Somewhere beyond the sunset, across the narrow sea, lay a land of green hills and flowered plains and great rushing rivers, where towers of dark stone rose amidst magnificent blue-grey mountains, and armored knights rode to battle beneath the banners of their lords. 
And when Dany went to stand at the head of that table, it was one of the only times in season 7 where I felt I caught a glimpse of things to come in the books. A pale shadow of GRRM’s Westeros, to be sure, but I could see it. 
Tiny, slender 16-year-old Daenerys, her hair shining like molten silver in the gloom of the Stone Drum. Daenerys, standing where Aegon the Conqueror had once stood, at the head of a great painted table stretching away from her into darkness, as a great Night falls over the continent. And this table! A table -- a map of Westeros -- so large that, if stood upright, it would be over five stories high. GRRM’s Westeros has such grandeur, “like in the great stories [...]. The ones that really mattered.”
(Like, I don’t think Dany would be in that special seat where Dragonstone is located on the map, I think GRRM would deliberately put her at the head of the table, beyond the Wall, foreshadowing her true destination.)
I have no idea what wondrous and highly quotable things GRRM would have Dany say and think while standing there. But that question show!Dany asked -- “Shall we begin?” -- that question captured the essence of it for me. 
And you’re all gonna think I’m lame, but my mind jumped to President John F. Kennedy’s Inaugural Address, to that similar line, “let us begin.” And no, I don’t claim the showrunners intended this parallel between Dany and JFK, and tbh I don’t care what they intended, but I feel like it’s an apt comparison when talking about GRRM’s Dany. 
(GRRM has spoken very highly of the Kennedys, saying on his livejournal: “They were men like any other, not plaster saints, and had their share of failures and mistakes. But they fought the good fight, and left the world a better place than they found it, and no more can be asked of any man.)
I see Dany as a dark horse in the race for the Iron Throne, similar to JFK’s unexpected win in 1960. More importantly, though, I see Daenerys as a reformer, as someone young and vibrant who wants to shake up the Old Guard and change the world. 
And like, I’ve said this before, but Westeros is currently without justice, without peace, without the rule of law. It’s a place where the Lannisters can enact a dwarf genocide with no one to stop them. Where no one speaks for the smallfolk, where families’ ancestral homes can be seized and sacked, where murder goes unpunished, where a Mengele-esque mad scientist runs free. 
And those are the kinds of things that Dany stands against:
“Justice . . . that's what kings are for." --Daenerys, ASOS
She values “peace, prosperity, and justice” while a lot of the people in charge of Westeros right now value vengeance. And sure, Dany obviously doesn’t always get these things right every time, and she makes mistakes, but she’s fighting to make the world a better place.
Daenerys cares about people. When most nobles in Westeros feel little or nothing for people of low birth, Dany raises the lowborn up and gives them a place at her side and on her councils. Think of Missandei, Grey Worm, her handmaids. 
Dany’s outlook is more radical imo than Arya befriending prostitutes, or Stannis raising Davos to a lordship -- which are both good and admirable acts -- because Dany goes further. Dany wants to get rid of this whole system that grinds the lowborn to dust under the indifferent heel of the mighty. Just consider how GRRM wrote Dany’s attitude toward the tokar: “It was not a garment meant for any man who had to work. The tokar was a master’s garment, a sign of wealth and power. Dany had wanted to ban [it.]” 
She wants to bring change. She wants to stop the abuse of power, and help people. 
It’s as if Westeros and Essos both have already been under a Long Night of dehumanization, one created not by the Others, but simply by other people. And when Daenerys takes that torch from her bloodrider’s hand and lights the pyre that night in AGOT, she’s lighting the world on fire. 
And it’s a good fire, my friends. It’s this kind of fire, the kind that gets passed around, and that makes your heart swell to see it:
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It’s the kind of fire that rallies people to Daenerys like iron to a lodestone, and it’s what makes cynical people disparage Dany as a “Mary Sue” (whatever that is) when she gains followers. It’s the kind of fire that makes the Widow of the Waterfront dare to dream. It’s the kind of fire that gives Tyrion purpose and direction in the darkest depths of his depression. It’s a fire of hope: “...and for the first time in hundreds of years, the night came alive with the music of dragons.”
Daenerys was the first spark in the forging of a brighter world. 
Light it up, girl.
(And while we’re talking about lighting fires, just FYI, I really fuckin’ hope Dany burns Randyll Tarly in TWOW, because he is a horrible person who represents everything that is wrong with the current Westerosi system. In GRRM’s early novel, Armageddon Rag, there is literally the prototype of Randyll Tarly, who GRRM describes on the page as a “fascist pig”. Burn him, Dany. And somebody necromance Tywin so she can burn him too, because only one death wasn’t enough for that bastard.) 
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So when I heard “Shall we begin?,” Kennedy’s words echoed in my mind. “Let us begin.” Let us have “a new world of law, where the strong are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved.” 
“Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can't protect themselves?" --Daenerys, ASOS
“Peace is my desire.“ --Daenerys, ADWD
Kennedy considered “tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself” to be the “common enemies of man” and it’s these things that Dany is fighting against. It’s this type of stuff that ASOIAF is all about imo. (It fascinates me to consider things like the pale mare in the context of this speech that GRRM grew up with.) 
But unlike Kennedy’s, Dany’s words were a question. An invitation, the way ASOIAF is an invitation: 
A Song of Ice and Fire [rubs] our faces in the reactionary brutality of its world, in the hope that we’ll see it more clearly, and fight it more fiercely, in the world we see when we look up again. [x]
I think I’ve said this before, but ASOIAF is the kind of work that requests audience participation. It doesn’t want you to remain passive. “Rage,” it commands, “rage against the dying of the light.” 
So I loved those three little words. Dany looks straight at the camera, straight at us, and she asks us, “Shall we begin?” 
“...let both sides join in creating a new endeavor, not a new balance of power, but a new world of law, where the strong are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved.”
A new endeavor. A new world of law. Not a new balance of power. 
I said up above that Dany wants to get rid of this whole system that grinds the lowborn to dust under the indifferent heel of the mighty. 
She doesn’t want simply a new balance of power. She wants a world of laws, of justice, of peace.
Did you agree with me when I said that stuff above, about book!Daenerys? 
Because Dany says something similar in the show:
“Lannister, Baratheon, Stark, Tyrell, they’re all just spokes on a wheel. This one’s on top, then that one’s on top, and on and on it spins, crushing those on the ground. I’m not going to stop the wheel. I’m going to break the wheel.”
And, like, ok, this is not my favorite show quote, and I don’t like talking about the show, but people use this quote to condemn Dany (even book!Dany) for not wanting to create a democracy or a constitutional monarchy in Westeros (and no one demands a democracy of the other (male) contenders for the Iron Throne). (I have #receipts on this fandom, just send me an ask.) 
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Quoting from the book, “Mastering the Game of Thrones” by Battis and Johnston, it gives historical background and analysis to this wheel quote:
If Martin is the god of the text, he is not a benevolent deity seeking to punish evil, reward the good, or console his faithful readers. His characters’ lives are unpredictable, violent, and often brief, and beloved figures quickly fall from happiness and security to suffer betrayal, maiming, illness, and death. In the middle ages and Renaissance, such downfalls were often subscribed to Fortuna, whose wheel pulled men up to success and tossed them down again in failure. Fortune, like Providence, is a guiding force whose motion is inevitable. Her effects, however, were unpredictable; how quickly her wheel might turn or how high or low it threw those caught on it could not be foreseen. Unlike providence, Fortune does not seek to punish ill or reward good; her only motivation is movement, her only constant change itself.
In both the books and the show, Daenerys wants to punish wrongdoers and reward good. She wants justice. Justice is not compatible with this concept of Fortune’s Wheel, hence the “breaking the wheel” line on the show. The “wheel” speech is where she literally says on the show that she doesn’t want the little people crushed by the nobility’s political machinations. (It’s reminiscent of Varys’s line, “Why is it always the innocents who suffer most, when you high lords play your game of thrones?”)
Dany doesn’t want people to live merely at the whim of a tyrannical ruler. That’s no way for people to live, always uncertain whether or not they have the royal favor of the person currently at the top of the “wheel”, like when Cersei throws Falyse to Qyburn, who experiments on Falyse and murders her. 
Or like when Cersei approves of people bringing her the heads of people with dwarfism. 
Or when the Tyrells, while clawing their way to the top, throw Sansa and Tyrion under the bus. 
These are the types of things that Dany wants to stop (“break”), because life is not a zero-sum game, no matter how much Cersei would like us all to believe that “you win or you die” is the way the world works. Absolutist views like Cersei’s, where you’re either on top of the world or crushed underneath it, leave no room for the kindness and compassion and love that GRRM advocates in every chapter. That’s why people like Cersei are wrong, and why Dany will cast her down in the books. 
The entire time, books and show, the Dany I’ve seen and read wants to change how the world works, and create something bold and revolutionary. 
“All this will not be finished in the first one hundred days. Nor will it be finished in the first one thousand days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.”
This was the other reason that Dany’s “Shall we begin?” jumped out at me, because I knew what came before JFK’s “let us begin” in his speech, and I knew what came after in 1963.
In all the GRRM books and stories I’ve read, he has this tendency to leave a lot of things unfinished. Not in the sense that TWOW is currently unfinished as of January 2018, but in the sense that ... the worlds he creates go on without us, and often without the characters we love. There are things left undone at the end GRRM’s stories. 
Because, like, obviously I don’t know how ASOIAF is going to end, but I strongly believe that Dany sacrifices herself to save the world. (Like a president dying while serving his country?)
“All this will not be finished [...] But let us begin.”
For example, I get the sense that we’ll never see things all neatly wrapped up in Meereen, or see slavery completely gone from Essos. But Dany set it all in motion. Let us begin. She was the spark, and it’s now up to the people of Volantis, Lys, Myr, everywhere to fan the flames and keep them alive, even after Dany is gone. 
I was saying this in another post, that there’s a Romanticism to Dany, and in a way that’s similar to the Romantic-capital-R fairy tale attached to Kennedy and the “Camelot Era”. I’m just gonna quote myself (and Steven again) cuz I liked what I said the first time:
[...] “Coming out of the tradition of chivalric romance - where the point was about the purity and intensity of longing *from afar* not its consummation, which threatened the social order and had to be punished with a tragic end - a lot of the classic romances are cases of “star-crossed” love”. Steven cites classic examples of Guinevere and Lancelot, Tritan and Isolde, and Romeo and Juliet. Dare I add Dany and Westeros? The intense longing from afar, the threats to the social order, what I suspect will be a tragic end?
[...] I believe Dany would give everything for the people of Westeros, for the people of the world, that she would forsake her heart’s desire, her lifelong goal … that she would tear out her own heart for Westeros, and not expect to get it back, if only to keep her people safe … 
[post]
“...and it has been saved, but not for me.”
And after Dany dies -- if Dany dies -- it’ll be up to other people to pick up the pieces of Westeros and rebuild. But I don’t think Reconstruction is something we’ll ever see in Westeros. Like I said, GRRM tends to let his stories go on without us. 
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Dany reminds me of the heroes in the big fantasy stories: Frodo from LOTR, or King Arthur from The Once and Future King (who Jackie Kennedy was arguably trying to build JFK’s legacy around with the “Camelot” comparison -- and I believe GRRM was a T.H. White fan? But I don’t remember where I read that), etc. Anyways. The Fantasy Hero often leaves us in the end, and it becomes time to stand or fall on our own as we turn the last page. 
But that’s what I think some of the best Fantasy stories are about: teaching us to stand. To hold. 
“I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something. That there is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for.“      --The Lord of the Rings movies
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wow ok that was a long post, sorry. idk man. those three words just gave me a lot of feelings. I’m sorta afraid now what TWOW’s gonna do to me because I think it’s gonna be a lot longer than just three words
im not gonna go back up to the top and read over this mind dump so i hope that made sense.
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megamanx1994 · 6 years
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Xenoforce Chapter 5
Chapter 5: The team unites
(Disclaimer! I own nothing of Xenoblade Chronicles or Nintendo!!!)
 I just got done interrogating the last guy about Government 9. “That’s all I need to know,” I said as I broke the ice. Micah trapped him. “Wait,” he said, “You’re not gonna kill me?” “I may be a vigilante, but I don’t kill,” I said, “Spread the word.” Later I was at Anela’s lab. “If I could just put in the last code,” she said, “Aha!” “Did you find them?” I asked. “Yep, it looks like they’re gonna be at this bridge at this time,” said Anela, “Ready to find the dreamreaver?” “As I’ll ever be,” I said. Micah and I suited up and found a truck. “Hey can we get a lift?” I asked. We both jumped on. And we all know how this turned out. I fast forwarded to the part where we left off.
 There. All caught up. I was riding with Bryan who was 16 and got is license somehow. We were heading to the boarding school. “Bryan, back so soon?” asked Ejay, “Did you find the dream reaver?” “No, but I did find out who the guy in the spandex is,” said Bryan. “Its not spandex!” I said, “It’s a cyber exo skeleton.” “Is that….” Said Ejay. “That’s right,” I said, “Its me.” Maddi ran to me and gave me a big hug. “Nice to see you too Maddi,” I said. Ejay gave me a fist bump. “How you doin man?” he asked. I told them everything that happened and they told me. “So does the principal know about this?” I asked. “Well….. sort of,” said Bryan, “But he doesn’t know about you yet.” The door opened. “I see you’re working on a new team project,” said the person. He was obviously the principal. “You must be Michael,” he said, “The inventor of the dream reaver.” He noticed the headband on my head. “May I?” he asked.
 “Sure,” I said as I gave it to him. He imagined something and it came to life digitally. “Extraordinary,” he said, “You really are an inspirational genius.” “Yeah,” I said, “Wanna know how I got the images to come?” “Hey dude, he created this,” said Anela. I realized who he was. “James Gibson?” I asked, “As in…. Gibson’s laws of digital imagery?” “That’s right,” he said, “I know its been a few years since you applied, but its never to late to get started. Give it some thought.” “Ok sir,” I said. He gave back my invention. “Ok, lets get back to business,” said Anela. She placed some data on a nearby computer. All this info leads to one thing,” said Anela, “Government 9 seems to steal inventions and use them for evil plots.” “EVIL!!!!!” said Ejay. We all looked at him. “Sorry, had to do it,” he said. “Anyways,” said Anela, “It looks like their place if heavily guarded and Micah and Michael are the only ones that can get in with their abilities.”
 “Uhh, you’d have to find their location first, and that would take a while.” “No, I just gotta think outside the box…. That’s it!” I said, “I can create a super computer that can locate where I can find them, I just gotta upgrade my suit and Micah’s as well.” I then saw some figurines of action figures and then looked at the others and then thought of something. “Actually, if we’re gonna catch this guy, I should upgrade you guys too.” “What are you talking about?” asked Denise. Ejay knew where I was going. “We can’t go against them,” said Bryan, “We’re kids!” “No you’re not,” I said, “You’re more than you are.” Denise thought for a moment. “You’re our best friend Michael,” said Denise, “We’re in.” “Let’s do it,” said Bryan. “Our origin story begins!” said Ejay, “WE’RE GONNA BE SUPERHEROES!!!” I scanned everyone and Anela and I got busy on everyone’s suits. I started with Maddi. She seemed interested in paint so I made a suit based off that. She now had a paintball gun which she could use to shoot paintballs. She also had the ability to shoot paintballs based off of elements.
 Then I worked on Denise’s suit. She was able to run around without tiring herself out or heating up. She was faster than before. “Pretty nice genius,” said Denise, “Check this out.” She ran by Bryan and took his manwich. “MY MANWICH!” he said. Anela was working on a new suit for me complete with an upgrade for the monado. It now had an energy based blade that surprisingly doesn’t cut through human skin. It does whack them pretty good though. I then made a suit for Ejay. His dream in life was to fly and now it was about to come true. He had a costume based off the condor. His wings has projectiles that he could shoot and they would come back like magnets. “I’m flying!” said Ejay, “I’m actually flying!!” “How did you make that costume?” asked Anela. “I have my ways,” I said.  And last but not least Bryan. I upgraded his gloves. Now his entire body was turned into titanium and any kind of metal he could think of. Everyone tested out their abilities in a training room. I gave Anela a high five.
 “Guys check this out!” said Anela, “I’d like to introduce, XenoBlade 2.0!” I stepped out with my new costume. It had a red and blue paint job with the monado on my back. “He’s glorious!” said Ejay as he gasped. “Thanks,” I said, “And check this out.” I showed them my blade. “Radical!” said Denise. Maddi clapped her hands. “Thanks,” I said. “How are you doing that with your eyes?” asked Denise. “Not sure really,” I said, “Must be CGI magic, like they did with Deadpool’s mask.” I showed the reader a copy of the Deadpool movie. “Buy it,” I said.
  “Guys, the computer’s all ready,” said Anela. We all went to a big room where Anela was tinkering with things to create a scanner. “Alright!” said Bryan, “Now we’re busy.” “You’re a genius Anela,” I said. “Aw shucks,” she said, “Now let’s fire this baby up.” We located Government 9’s secret location. They were at an abandoned warehouse . “There they are,” I said. We headed there. Ejay carried me while Brian drove with Maddi and Micah skated on ice. We landed at the doors. “Nice landing guys,” said Ejay. I tried opening the door and it as shut. “Ok,” I said. I used the monado to cut our way in. Remember readers, don’t play with sharp metal objects, but always use your imagination.
 Meanwhile my dad got a phone call. “He’s at the school?” he asked, “Thank you for informing me.” He hung up and got the keys. “Where are you going?” asked my mom. “I’m heading up there to find Michael,” he said. “What are you gonna do?” she asked, “Go up there, smash his invention and drag him back home?” “Exactly!” he said, “He has no business being there!” “He has all the business to be there with his friends,” said my mom, “All Michael wanted was to be accepted for who he is, and if you hadn’t been so hard on him he wouldn’t have left!” “I just need to talk to him again,” he said, “I need him home.” He took the car and drove away.
 We were walking around the facility. Ejay was singing some strange song and annoying Bryan. “EJ, I will punch you in the face.” “Guys shh,” I said, “I think we’re getting close.” “But something’s missing though,” said Denise. “What do you mean?” I asked. “I mean people who get this far would fall into a booby trap, or an attack.” The lights went out. “Or an ambush,” said Micah. The lights turned back on and we saw a bunch of guards with guns. Their leader came out. “15 minutes to infiltrate our base,” he said, “With your reputation I was expecting something more impressive. Let them go.” We were brought to a room. “Alow me to introduce myself,” he said, “I am Shao Lin, head of Government 9.” “Where’s the dreamreaver?” I asked. “I thought you’d never ask, Michael Morrison,” said Shao. “How do you know my name?” I asked. “I’ve been watching you for a while,” he said, “You were searching for it and now we have it here along with you.” He showed it to us. “You probably don’t know this, but years ago, the dreamreaver created an alternate dimension,” he said.
 There was something on the screen. “There was something strange about that world, and we thought you would be the only one to figure it out,” he said. “Perhaps my dad’s in there,” said Denise. “Chrome?” I asked. “Yes,” she said, “A few months back, he and an exploration team went in to discover this new world. The team returned but my father…. He didn’t.” “Oh my god,” said Micah. “So basically we should go in there and find him,” I said, “In return, I get my invention back.” “You have our word,” said Shao. We got ready. “Be careful Michael,” said Anela as she hugged me. Maddi’s cheeks grew red. “Jealous?” asked Denise. Maddi flipped her off. We got ready and teleported into the dimension. “Whoa,” I said. We were surrounded by a purple sky, and a brown ground. There were strange cracks with green liquid. “Either?” I asked. “Mike you should see this!” said Micah. She was looking at some kind of river of either.
 “This is going on Instagram,” said Ejay as he took a picture. “It seems to be reacting to human emotion,” I said. I put my hand near it and felt its energy. Part of the ground fell and I fell into the river. “Michael!” said Micah. She and the others rushed to my aid and pulled me out. “Are you ok?” she asked. “Surprisingly I’m fine,” I said. I then saw some strange pictures in my head. “What was that?” I asked. Maddi poked me. “What is it?” I asked. We were all looking at some strange figure.
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kindafooey · 7 years
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Fic Writers’ Week Day 2: The Muses
And here’s my contribution for the second day of @ficwritersweek! The theme seems to be sources of inspiration, so here we go~
In fact, my very first drabble that later became Chains was inspired by a certain Billford sketch after the first teaser for TBtF had been released and people were losing their minds over the penthouse scene screenshot that, well, admittedly had some lowkey kinky connotations. Unfortunately the pic seems to be no longer available on Tumblr, so I can’t link it. As for my contribution to the pic, uhhh let’s just call it a coffee and whiskey-induced leap of faith into the world of fanfic at 5 in the morning. ‘‘‘XD I do feel an appropriate amount of shame, but I regret nothing. The rest of the fic was largely inspired by All Is Well (It’s Only Blood) by Radical Face.
The Helios trilogy is an interesting creature in this regard. Here, too, the first part was a drabble inspired by a dream I had while napping. The Fall of Icarus took its form a bit differently: I wasn’t planning to take the scenario introduced in The North Wind and The Sun anywhere, but eventually decided to see where it would go due to a popular demand. So I went around blogs looking for ideas, prompts, and random thoughts people had on the penthouse scene, and combined them into a shamelessly indulgent smut fic. I think TFoI is the closest to a kink meme fic I’ve ever done? Anyway, I wrapped the story up with Helios, because I felt like it was necessary to further demonstrate just how terrible and final Ford’s decision at the end of Icarus was. The whole trilogy is more or less an allegory of an addict’s relapse. FOO’S SMUT FICS AIN’T FUN AND GAMES.
Then there’s uhhhh well. The Messenger Who Shot Himself is pretty much a philosophical brainchild of my own. A Marionette’s Bliss was partially inspired by @dieslaudata and @flo-nelja‘s wonderful fics. Monsters From The Other Side wouldn’t be a thing that exists without @rustedqueen, who was kind enough to share an intriguing quote with me which then inspired the fic. Judgment Call was my contribution for a Secret Santa event held by the Billford Discord chat. My involvement in Debt started more or less as a joke but eventually became something more creative, but I got a lot of ideas for the premises of my installments from my co-authors. For Science was inspired by a random archaeology-related post by @perlumi-delirium, and Symbioses was written for @wolfmoonjournal, sparked by our shared love for dogs.
Last of all, Blood Chains. I’ll start with @reddobastard, the founding father of this story, a regularly contributing artist and a spiritual co-author up until Chapter 12. None of the over 100 000 words would exist without him. He’s also to blame for some of the most effective scenes especially at the beginning of the story. From Chapter 13 onward, @taghashromer has been an insanely big help as my idea bouncer and beta reader (he’s participated in the actual writing with a couple of scenes, too!). Furthermore, from the very beginning and in an increasing extent later on, Blood Chains has always been something of a community project where the audience is closely involved in the creative process: @creepichan, @michirucipher, @wolfmoonjournal and a bunch of others I can’t bring to mind right now (let me know if you recognize your participation and want to be tagged!) have directly influenced the story with their feedback, sometimes to a significant extent. Thank you so much, everybody - the story wouldn’t be the massive thing it’s become without you. ♡♡♡
Oh, also! Each arc of Blood Chains has something of an inspirational, atmospheric theme song, all of them by none other than my boy Radical Face. For Arc I, there’s Black Eyes. For Arc II, there’s Rivers In The Dust. For Arc III, well, that will be revealed when we get there! It’s a bit spoilery, so we’ll leave it as a surprise for later. :>
Welp, this has been a long post! What I wanted to say is... something something escalation of inspiration, cycle of culture, contributive butterfly effect, no creator is an island, and so on. Uhm. Again, thank you, all of you. ;v;
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auskultu · 7 years
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Leonard Cohen: Beautiful Creep
Richard Goldstein, The Village Voice, 28 December 1967
And the child on whose shoulders I stand 
 whose longing I purged 
with public, kingly discipline 
today I bring him back 
 to languish forever, 
not in confession or biography, 
 but where he flourished 
 growing sly and hairy 
 — Leonard Cohen (‘The Spice Box of Earth’)
AN ELEVATOR man with hairy hands grumbles “shit,” as he takes me up. It is a massive mid-town hotel, in steep decline. The corridors are long and lit occasionally, like a cardboard coal mine. Humid ladies in black lace seem to peer from every transom, and old men with their backs turned lurk in every shadowy corner. There is a smell of stale cigars, or is it piss? I knock politely on a wafer-thin door, and wait.
Finally it opens, and Leonard Cohen, Canada’s most acclaimed young poet and novelist, offers a seat and some coffee. He has been listening to a tape of the half-completed album on which he will soon make his debut as a pop star (a year ago that would have given even me pause, but not today, when Leonard Bernstein picks the hits and the Partisan Review talks about “Learning from the Beatles”). His verse—collected in slim volumes perfect for pressing roses—so unabashedly romantic that it sits among my New Directions paperbacks like some later day Ossian from the North.
With Annie gone 
 whose eyes to compare 
 with the morning sun.
 Not that I did compare, 
but I do 
 now that she’s gone. 
— ‘For Annie’
No wonder Allen Ginsberg huffed out of a meeting with Leonard Cohen muttering, “This place looks like a ballet set.” There is a sinewy quality to those muscular images as they stretch across a page. There is a shameless agility to those leaps and conceits, which seems ethereal next to the boog-a-loo of modern verse.
But Leonard Cohen is a Visceral Romantic and he can hit you unawares because his emotions are recollected with anything but tranquility. He suffers gloriously in every couplet. Even his moments of ecstasy seem predicated on hours of refined despair. Leonard does not rant: he whispers hell and you must strain to hear his agony.
The fact is, I’m turning to gold, turning to gold. 
It’s a long process, they say it happens in stages. 
 This is to inform you that I’ve already turned to clay.
 — ‘The Cuckold’s Song’
Today, he faces me across a hotel room with the sun shining second hand in the windows down the block. The drapes are as florid as his verse. In fact, the room could be the set for most of his poems. The bedspread is faded, and you can hear the toilet. Atop the bureau is a seashell ashtray, embossed with Miami palm trees. To this pasteboard Chappaqua, Leonard Cohen has added only a Madonna decal for the mirror, and a terrible cold.
His front pockets bulge with tissues and Sucrets. The cold seems appropriate; his nose aches to be filled anyway. It is a huge nose, etched by some melancholy woodcarver into the hollows of his cheeks. He wipes it and wheezes gently as we hear a tape of his song, ‘Teachers’.
Though he claims he has always written with a typewriter for a guitar (“I sometimes see myself in the Court of Ferdinand, singing my songs to girls over a lute”), Leonard Cohen has been spending this past year or so creating lyrics with real melodies. He made his pop debut recently as Judy Collins’ beautiful person. Her choice was inspired; Leonard Cohen has written her best material—songs of love and torment powerful enough to be fairy tales.
And just when you mean to tell her
 That you have no love to give her
 Then she gets you on her wave length
 And she lets the river answer
 That you’ve always been her lover.
 And you want to travel with her
 And you want to travel blind 
And you know that she will trust you 
For you’ve touched her perfect body with your mind.
 — ‘Suzanne’
“I think my album is going to be very spotty and undistinguished,” he says in greeting. His eyes sag like two worn breasts. “I blame this on my total unfamiliarity with the recording studio. They tried to make my songs into music. I got put down all the time.” He sits back on his bed, folds his hands in his lap, and lets his voice fade into an echo of itself: “It was a continual struggle… continual… they wanted to put me in bags. I thought I was going to… crack up.”
He is modestly addicted to cracking up. References to breakdowns past and future dot his conversation. He seems to judge periods in his life by his failure to cope with them. His favorite words—or those he uses most frequently—are “wiped out” and “bewildered.”
“When you get wiped out—and it does happen in one’s life—that’s the moment… the REAL moment. Around 30 or 35 is the traditional age for the suicide of the poet, did you know that?” (You look around for razors, pills, sharp edges, or easy plunges.) “That’s the age when you finally understand that the universe does not succumb to your command.”
That moment magnified into theme, is the chief concern of his major novel, Beautiful Losers. It is a multisexual love story, ecstatically, lyric like his poems, but deeply committed as prose to expressing its theme through an accumulation of detail. Its protagonist, a petty researcher, is victimized by the love of his wife and of his best friend. They control his life: soothe him, fuck him, teach him, cuckold him, and ultimately destroy him. Their triangle, joined on all sides, is further complicated by Catherine Tekakwitha, an Indian saint who fixes herself in the protagonist’s consciousness as an extension of his wife (also an Indian) and his own suffering. Martyred by the suicides of both his lover-tormentors, our hero is left to ponder the moral of Catherine’s life: suffering is madness, but it is also the sacred ground where Man encounters God. Somehow, we are all fated to walk that ground, is Leonard Cohen’s message. To embrace that agony of communion is to live with grace.
It begins with your family But soon it comes round to your soul.
 Well, I’ve been where you’re hanging 
I think I can see where you’re pinned
 When you’re not feeling holy
 Your loneliness says that you’ve sinned.
 — ‘Sisters of Mercy’
He was born in Montreal, to a wealthy Jewish family. “I had a very Messianic childhood,” he recalls. “I was told I was a descendent of Aaron, the high priest. My parents actually thought we were Cohenim—the real thing. I was expected to grow into manhood leading other men.”
He led himself through McGill, where he studied literature with Oxonian aplomb. A professor published a volume of his poetry on the University press, and Leonard Cohen became a writer. It was, he insists, “as accidental as that.” Because if he had had a choice, he would have become a revolutionary. But he approached radicalism with a bad cold, and a thorough knowledge of the Tonette. Though the Montreal Communists fascinated him with their paranoia and their certainty, he was less than embraced by his chosen confreres. “They saw me as a symbol of the decline of the enemy,” he recalls. “I never had that heroic revolutionary look. There was a certain openshirted quality I could never duplicate, I always looked different, maybe because my folks owned a clothing factory.”
Today, he wears poet’s gray, and a soft worker’s hat hangs on his closet door. He is getting old; the trousers of his cuffs are automatically rolled. He watches you jot that down in the middle of a point about politics and you wonder if he knows you plan to use it.
“I’m not a writer coming to music in the twilight of his youth,” he says suddenly. You look up. He begins to discuss the rock scene, then and now. Once, he thought Elvis Presley the first American singer of genius. Once, he played a Ray Charles record till it warped in the sun. Once, he thought of himself as Bob Dylan’s ancestor. “It wasn’t his originality which first impressed me, but his familiarity. He was like a person out of my books, singing to the real guitar. Dylan was what I’d always meant by the poet—someone about whom the word was never used.”
Until a short time ago, Leonard Cohen had never heard Dylan. He has spent much of the past seven years in a cottage on Hydra, Greece. He still returns there regularly for replenishment, the way F. Scott Fitzgerald’s heroes should have gone back to the Midwest. It keeps him from making too many scenes outside himself; that seems to be the scene he can make best.
Anyhow, you fed her five MacKewan Ales 
 took her to your room, put the right records on, 
 and in an hour or two it was done. 
 I know all about passion and honor 
but unfortunately, this had really nothing to do with either: 
 Oh, there was passion I’m only too sure 
 And even a little honor 
but the important thing was to cuckold Leonard Cohen 
I like that line because it’s got my name in it.
 — ‘The Cuckold’s Song’
“I wrote ‘Beautiful Losers’ on Hydra, when I’d thought of myself as a loser, financially, morally, as a lover, and a man. I was wiped out; I didn’t like my life. I vowed I would just fill the pages with black or kill myself. After the book was over, I fasted for ten days and flipped out completely. It was my wildest trip. I hallucinated for a week. They took me to a hospital in Hydra. One afternoon, the whole sky was black with storks. They alighted on all the churches and left in the morning… and I was better. Then, I decided to go to Nashville and become a song writer.”
He came to New York instead, thanks to a lady who is now his manager. And here he is—slaving over the songs he calls “Eastern Country laments,” trying to make them sound the way they read. Things are happening for Leonard Cohen. ‘Suzanne’, his best known lyric, made the charts on a vacuous cover version by Noel Harrison. Two recent compositions appear on the latest Judy Collins album. And Buffy Sainte Marie will include selections from Beautiful Losers on her next LP. Sometimes the two visit Saint Patrick’s, where there is a bas relief of St. Catherine on one of the Cathedral doors. Buffy puts daisies in the statue’s hair. “She sees the suffering in Catherine,” he explains. “She feels the thumping on the sky.”
If his forthcoming album is a good one, Leonard Cohen may well become one of history’s odder choices for pop stardom. But the men we deem to worship are never ordinary; that is the one passion they must guard against. If the time is ripe for a guru with a cold in the ego, Leonard Cohen’s modest agony will stand him in good stead.
“My songs are strangely romantic,” he admits, “but so are the kids. I somehow feel that I have always waited for this generation.” He pulls out a letter from a young girl who wonders over his unremitting despair. He frightens her because she senses that he has achieved an understanding of life, but he is sad despite it. She prays that the comprehension she seeks will not bring her such misery. She prays for him, and for herself, that he is really blind. And she ends by calling Leonard Cohen a “beautiful creep.”
Real tears form in the corners of his eyes, but modestly, they do not flow. He sighs for real. “That’s what I am—a beautiful creep.” He excuses himself and you grab for the letter when he is gone. That too is real.
Beautiful creep! You can’t help hearing him in the toilet; he pisses in quick panting spurts. You want to put him to bed with hot milk and butter, turn up the vaporizer, and kiss him good night.
And you want to travel with him 
 And you want to travel blind 
 And you think maybe you’ll trust him 
For he’s touched your perfect body with his mind.
 — ‘Suzanne’
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anotherworldnowblog · 4 years
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3
TOWARDS AN ECOLOGY OF LOVE
(June-July, 2020)  
“Let’s face it. We’re undone by each other. And if we’re not, we’re missing something.” -Judith Butler
Fire and Mourning I’m shaking. The sun is heavy on my neck and the crowd seems to shiver in flexed anticipation. The anger running through the protestors is hot like a spider bite. The chants have all the usual words but today they sound like a new language, pulsating with a rhythm as unmistakable as it is unknown. Tears and sweat and names. My mask is damp and stale, dank breath and odor-eliminating chemicals wash back down my throat with every syllable. Then, the sun goes white and the police, without warning, jump us. Screaming. Protestors and cops collapse into blue knots, plastics are tangled up. Fists, legs, batons. Water bottles fly. I find my partner and pull her away from the cowering cop at her feet. A horrified girl in a faded tye dye top pushes her way forward, shrieking pleas for de-escalation. But we have slipped into a dark beyond, out of reach of such luxuries as deliberation, planning, and respectability...
The scuffle ends with several on our side arrested and many more beaten bloody. Whoever has the megaphone manages to march us across the city for several hours, but the veil of control has been torn. Paint goes up on every wall in the city to elated hollers. Squad cars are destroyed, at least one burns. The police are now eerily absent. We march back towards the towering art deco skyscrapers at the city’s center, monuments to abundance we’ve never known. There, a wall of riot cops awaits us. Gold light catches the edges of a gilded cupola and stains the cream colored marble like marmalade. The city would be so beautiful, if it were ours. Cracks, screams, gas. The next few hours are a blur. Running, terror, bravery, fire, hope, inspiration, ingenuity. The police deploy dispersal technology more than once but to no avail. The remaining mass of people have become something else. At times, to the police’s genuine horror and visible surprise, we push them back with a barrage of water bottles, debris, banana peels. When necessary, we melt back into the city only to reappear again moments later, one block over. At some point, word gets around that all but two of the bridges had been raised and we were trapped...
A firework rips through the police line to cheers. The cops swear and slip. Strontium carbonate burns bright red streaks across my eyes and whispers out. The police fracture into a million tiny pieces. An ATV donuts wildly and peels off straight at the jagged, trembling row of officers. Dumpsters are moved to prevent ambush, coordination flows like a river, without words. Motorcycles go up on one wheel. Eventually, we realize a curfew has been set, effective in twenty or so minutes. Someone has mounted a horse. There’s nowhere to go and it begins to feel as though the police are trapped down here with us, as opposed to us with them. Windows are smashed as darkness falls. The man on horseback charges forward, into the black and orange of the night...
The police would go on to make over 400 arrests by the end of the night, with over 80 officers reporting injuries in what turned out to be one of many, simultaneous riots taking place across the country. What I saw that night had previously been unthinkable to me. The city had flexed its anarchic muscle after decades of slumber and found it was still strong, and the police, shockingly weak. I remain struck, too, by the frantic way the police attacked. No one could be surprised at the lack of provocation nor the lack of shame, but what I did not foresee was the palpable panic emanating from behind their shields. And I am beginning to understand why we scared them so–we had come to mourn. Not to “resist” or to march or to curse DJT, but to mourn. We were there to grieve the ungrievable, to say the unsayable: that we will no longer accept no-life, we will no longer accept bare-life, that we are indeed connected, that we are hurt by this loss and every other, that we will give them a fight, that we will defend ourselves and each other, that this order is no order, and, that we deserve so much better. Our mourning was a radical negation of a system that tries to maintain an unnatural space between us, that seeks to limit experience to individual (or consumer) experience, that attempts to constrain feelings to personal feelings. Our mourning was dangerous. The cops were right. And their panic was not just at our finding strength in each other, but that they found themselves with none...
Judith Butler describes mourning as a process of transformation as well as one of revelation, in which we are exposed as being bound up in each other, our “selves” products of our relationships to each other, socially constructed, interdependent. When we lose, we change, because what we were was dependent on what we lost. This state or process of mourning makes possible the apprehension of our interlocked-ness, our interwoven-ness, in which “something about who we are is revealed, something that delineates the ties we have to others, that shows us that these ties constitute what we are, ties or bonds that compose us… perhaps what I have lost ‘in’ you, that for which I have no ready vocabulary, is a relationality that is composed neither exclusively of myself nor you, but is to be conceived as the tie by which those terms are differentiated and related.” There is no you and there is no me, rather there is a you-me and there is a me-you.
Can mourning be the only site of such apprehension? Mourning is an extreme condition, contingent on loss and suffering, a painful process, where these links that compose us are stretched and then snapped. This severance is gradually accommodated in a transformation. However, these links to one another just as much exist before this point of breakage, before the moment of loss, and there is then no reason they cannot be pulled at, plucked and strummed, like the strings of a guitar, until that which irrevocably binds us to each other achieves a resonance or vibration that no power can obscure. This resonance, this song, this elevation of our bonds to the level of naked visibility, could usher in a moment of universal recognition of our interdependence, our interconstitution, our intervitality, that, if properly politicized, could hold the key to our liberation from the prison of capitalist relations.
The stubborn fact remains that these links, these ties, are currently obscured, mystified, hidden, or outright suppressed and attacked. We cannot politicize our ties if we cannot see them and we cannot see these ties because we are told at the level of ideology that they are either not important or, more maddeningly, that they are not there. The integrity of these links is further corrupted and degraded by the rising power of debt. Perhaps most troublingly, we humans are being transformed by supposedly liberatory technology into unfeeling components of a networked machine, incapable of empathy or solidarity. It is this final development that, when complete, could represent a point of no return, a total obliteration of the ties that both constitute us as individuals and define our humanity. If this subsumption of the human by the technofinancial machine is allowed to continue, there will soon be nothing left to mourn.
Capitalist Realism and Neoliberal Ideology Ideology is the first obstacle we encounter when tracing the gap between us and a resurgent solidarity. Neoliberalism is the dominant ideology in our time because of the hegemonic power the neoliberal bloc has accrued over the last five decades, infiltrating every level of government, media, academia, and economics. Hegemony allows the ruling class’ ideas about society to appear as if they are bubbling up from within each of us, as opposed to being imposed on us from above. As Nancy Fraser succinctly puts it, summarizing Gramsci, “hegemony is [the] term for the process by which a ruling class makes its domination appear natural.” Today, neoliberal hegemony makes the dominant ideas of the ruling class inescapable and nearly ubiquitous and yet, uniquely difficult to distinguish. A pervasive atmosphere of social-darwinism, savage competition, short sightedness, and nihilistic indulgence has become our ambient common sense. Hopelessness becomes a sort of wisdom, trust in each other and in the future becomes naivety. As Mark Fisher states in his book, Capitalist Realism, “The prevailing ideology is that of cynicism.” Nothing is possible, and it’s foolish to believe otherwise. It could be said that the apprehension of our ties to one another is the apprehension of the political, but the political under neoliberalism has been effectively neutralized. Neoliberal ideology attempts to situate us in an eternally post-political moment. The future is no longer contested space, it was sold to the highest bidder long ago.
Reinforcing this ideology is a material precarity that has come to make up the texture of life for the service underclass of neoliberal society, as well as more broadly characterizing the spirit of work for all in the new economy. Solidarity gives way to brutal competition, coworkers become competitors, friends become networks. No one job is enough; we are constantly seeking the next opportunity for advancement, overlapping work schedules clash, disaster looms, familial relations fray, neural stimulation overloads and feeds back into wave after wave of crippling anxiety, at best. At worst, violence. This precarity and its accompanying anxiety, while horribly traumatizing to the overwhelming majority of people, has very advantageous qualities from the perspective of capital. In an interview with Jeremy Gilbert, Mark Fisher points out that, “anxiety is something that is in itself highly desirable from the perspective of the neoliberal project. The erosion of confidence, the sense of being alone, in competition with others: this weakens the worker’s resolve, undermines their capacity for solidarity, and forestalls militancy.” At multiple levels of our waking (and dreaming) lives, the idea that you are not only alone but in eternal competition with every other person is reinforced, and the effects of such a social arrangement can be seen in the rapidly spiking suicide tally, spectacular violence, pharmacological dependence and abuse, and the numbers of people reporting depression, burn out, and especially loneliness.
We see this “lone-wolf” mindset very clearly when we consider the popular cultural output of Western capitalist society. In the same interview, Fisher points to the rise of hyper-competitive game shows as a manifestation of the social darwinism at the center of neoliberal thought. These aptly named reality shows, like Apprentice and Big Brother, revolve around “individuals competing with one another, and an exploitation of the affective and supposedly ‘inner’ aspects of the participants’ lives.” He continues by pointing out the way in which reality television feeds back into and constructs the reality of its audience: “It’s no accident that ‘reality’ became the dominant mode of entertainment in the last decade or so. The ‘reality’ usually amounts to individuals struggling against one another, in conditions where competition is artificially imposed, and collaboration is actively repressed.” One could endlessly list the names of these types of programs that have proliferated in the last decade or two in America, many with great commercial success.
Another trend emerging in the superstructure, more or less concurrently, is a sort of melancholic self-awareness of the brutal and total competition our lives have been reduced to. We can most easily locate this trend in music. It can take the form of a depressive acceptance of the shallowness of our relationships or perhaps a declaration of exhaustion, a celebration of outright antisocial behavior, or submission and defeated withdrawal. Oftentimes, these songs make heavy reference to a handful of favored barbiturates, opiates, or dissociatives. We can most readily see this in the relatively recent rise in popularity of “xanax rap,” as well as in some drill and trap music (21 Savage or Chief Keef come to mind). On the other end of the musical spectrum, we could look to the resurgent popularity of emo music, especially the hyper-personal, heroin addled, lo-fi bedroom varietals (artists like Teen Suicide or Dandelion Hands have amassed millions of streams and a cult following without the backing of a major label).
But even the ostensible “winners of the game” are not insulated from the melancholic deterioration of the social fabric. One song in particular off of Kanye West’s manic 2016 album, The Life of Pablo, stands out for the stark clarity with which it addresses the crisis of relations brought on by the neoliberal economy. On “Real Friends,” West laments the way his friendships have been transformed. But one gets the sense upon listening that this isn’t just the story of a star narcissistically complaining about the way people from his past attempt to use his name or piggy back on his success; that’s simply the context. The song is, at its core, about how the insatiable hunger that neoliberalism forcibly inscribes in each of us, the end result of a decades long process of privatization of risk, erodes friendship, sabotages love, and destroys family. “Couldn't tell you much about the fam though/ I just showed up for the yams though/ Maybe 15 minutes, took some pictures with your sister/ Merry Christmas, then I'm finished, then it's back to business.” There’s no time for family gatherings. Time is money, there’s not enough of it and there never will be. Your friends are simply biding their time, lying in wait for a chance to use you for their own advancement. There’s a paranoia here, but as a fellow participant in the same savage game, you understand this paranoia to be justified. “Real Friends”, while rightly lauded for its “truth” and relatability, unfortunately functions as another whirring cog in the propaganda apparatus, normalizing the growing space between each of us and presenting cynical, opportunistic relations as “just a fact of life.” West seems to echo Fisher’s bleak assessment that “the values that family life depends upon – obligation, trustworthiness, commitment – are precisely those which are held to be obsolete in the new capitalism,” but without the critical edge. Our ties to one another, if they are acknowledged at all, are deemed simply useless and perhaps even a little bit risky, much like an appendix: an archaic, forgotten form that serves no useful purpose for today’s human, but can sometimes lead to infection. Bourgeois art, even art able to successfully express the darker qualities of the capitalist system, only reaffirms the status quo and further entrenches the ruling classes ideas about our relations to one another as the de facto common sense.
Debt and Bad Faith We next see these same social ties corrupted and corroded at the level of economics. The rise of credit, debt, and finance has transformed interpersonal relations under capitalism so as to be dominated by bad faith and suspicion. It’s quite common today for people to be heard bemoaning the transactional nature of relationships. But what exactly does this mean, and from where does our compulsion to calculate the incalculable emerge? Cartographer of the debt state, Marizzio Lazzarato, at first seems to echo some of Fisher’s observations in his 2012 book, The Making of The Indebted Man, pointing out that, “under conditions of ubiquitous distrust created by neoliberal policies, hypocrisy and cynicism now form the content of social relations.” Lazzarato describes many of the same symptoms of capitalist realism, but forgoes any discussion of ideology in favor of a somewhat more concrete causal chain: the creditor/debtor relationship.
In America today, debt is nearly ubiquitous and ownership has become an optical illusion, a disappearing act. Everything can be paid for later. Consequences can be deferred indefinitely with a solid line of credit. In this way, debt is sold to us as freedom, or perhaps more specifically, as opportunity. But of course, as is true of most things under neoliberalism, what is claimed and what actually is are two very different things. Lazzarato explains that debt can be understood as an obligation over time, both a promise and a memory. As a result of decades of neoliberal policies, personal debt has exploded in the United States and around the world. Personal debt acts as a form of social control, ensuring economic integration and encouraging one to prioritize “solvency.” This “solvency” usually manifests most visibly as an aversion to risk, a self-policed austerity, and general conformity so as to make good on one’s future obligations (to pay the debt).
The compulsion towards solvency appears in our personal lives in a wide variety of ways, unique to our station and interests. In some ways, even a grade schoolers fixation on popularity could be called a manifestation of debt society’s preoccupation with solvency. Obsession with outward appearances and “who is hanging out with who” is perhaps a primitive understanding of debt as a social relation. Even before taking on personal debt, children are shown that one must appear to be a person who will make good on their debts and thus be worthy of lending or more generalized opportunity. Parents often encourage their children’s involvement in a wide variety of extracurricular activities, not because their child is passionate, but largely for involvement’s sake. In debt society, being a well-rounded, “whole” person makes you deserving of investment. What was once your private activity or leisure time is now folded back into the economic as debt society implores you to constantly work on yourself and, with the development of social media, to publicly exhibit these favorable tendencies in yourself, proving over and over again that you are indeed viable, solvent, and a safe and potentially lucrative investment opportunity. In my own professional life as an artist, I am expected to broadcast or signal my practice’s (and thus my own) solvency at all times. Instagram has become artists’ preferred medium for the transmission of these displays and through “stories” and posts, we carefully curate an image of productivity, attendance, viability, and social integration and ascendence. We outwardly project the idea that we’re working hard in our studios, that we’re networking properly through studio visits and the obligatory cruising of exhibition circuits, that we’re reading the right books and thinking not just critically but, correctly, and that our work is already being collected and invested in, all in order to facilitate personal access to future opportunity.
In other spheres of life, this process plays out in much the same way, albeit with some largely aesthetic quirks or differences. For the cognitive worker, already a member of the upper-middle class, perhaps one shares their numerous camping excursions to impart a sense of their connection to the earth and adventurous spirit. For the service class, perhaps it appears as a public chronicling of their work ethic and commitment to upward advancement, even at the expense of pleasure or non-material enrichment. The public deferral of pleasure can be used as an expression of one’s solvency, especially and tragically among the lower classes of debt society. We begin to see here that these performances or projections may have a class character to their manifestations. For the lower classes, one is expected to showcase dedication to advancement by highlighting a self imposed austerity. For the higher classes, one is expected to prove they’re not only deserving of their opportunities but are using them properly, to further improve themselves and become a more complete person. All of this theater is directed at an audience of one: capital. Much of what constituted life has been degraded to the level of rote performance, of literal Virtue signaling. When our desire for autonomous self fulfillment and development returns back to us, now as a directive of capital and as a measure of solvency, this is alienation completed. This is the total commodification of the human and of social life.
Over time, solvency comes to stand in for morality, a good person becomes a person who will “make good” on their promise to pay. We grow suspicious, slow to trust, and it’s generally considered “smart” to remain somewhat distanced from your fellow worker, ready to cast them aside at a moments notice, either because a new, more lucrative opportunity for exploitable relations has arisen or there is a sense that somehow your current relationship could hinder or damage your accumulation of social capital or even your access to real capital in the future. People become containers of undifferentiated “risk.” While this reduction of friendship to an economic calculus is reinforced and normalized by ideology, it can be traced directly back to the rise of credit and finance. Lazzarato explains that,
“the trust that credit exploits has nothing to do with the belief in new possibilities in life and, thus, in some noble sentiment toward oneself, others, and the world. It is limited to a trust in solvency and makes solvency the content and measure of the ethical relationship. The “moral” concepts of good and bad, of trust and distrust, here translate into solvency and insolvency… In capitalism, then, solvency serves as the measure of the ‘morality” of man.”
This imposition of the debtor-creditor relationship and its associated thought processes onto our social relations has had a disastrous effect on our capacity for solidarity and friendship. This reduction of trust to an arithmetic evaluation of solvency amounts to an outright attack on our bonds, our interdependence, our intervitality, well beyond the aforementioned psychological denial and ideological mystification. Debt corrodes and transforms our bonds, attempting to rob them of their revolutionary potential and leverage them towards our own management or government; our ties morph from the seeds of our liberation to become a critical node of control. This reduction, the mathematization of social life, made possible and prefigured the transformations yet to occur at the hands of computer technology. This conversion of the unquantifiable into the numeric perhaps primed us for a world governed by ones and zeros, binary options and no choices; a world of mathematically infinite opportunity but evaporated possibility, a world engulfed by digital mirage, where government has been exported and grafted into the minds of the governed, implanted by credit and sutured by tech. Credit does not simply reduce friendship to a transaction, but (especially in an environment of technologically networked acceleration), facilitates the dissolving of trust, morality, and love into accounting, of real and perceived solvency, of calculation, and of preformatted corporate connectivity. Debt catalyses our transformation from living, affective, creative, unquantifiable singularities into cold, accountable, predictable, math. Interchangeable parts. Fiber optic cable, mildly inconvenienced by our flesh’s relative lack of conductivity. Its need to piss, shit, and fuck.
Finance, Transformation, Meaning It could be argued that a paradox emerges when this drive towards a total accounting arises at the same time as the fateful decision to free the United States dollar from the gold standard is made. At once, ideology and the rise of debt reduces relations to calculations, everyday life to math while the total detachment of the sign (money) from the referent (gold) unchained valorization from the real world, opening up fictitious space for fictitious valorization. The paradox lies in the fact that any truth once found in accounting was obliterated by Nixon’s decision while workers are now compelled by debt to recognize and submit to the quantifiable, the countable, as the only truth, the last truth. Where does this false truth get its power? What resolves this contradiction? Franco “Bifo” Berardi answers: “ Strength, force, violence.”  Truth is an illusion and we are forced to adhere to finance’s directives not because there lies real meaning for us in the numbers or that we will one day crawl out from under our mountains of debt, but because we are coerced with violence: the violent expropriation of the means of our own reproduction, and the violence of everyday life, with its terrorist police and torturer bankers, predatory usurers and rapist landlords. With finance unleashed from the realm of the corporeal and the corporeal lashed firmly to the mast of the sinking ship of the mathematic (by debt), the real world becomes a prison without walls to the worker at the same time that the real world (and all of its inhabitants) becomes a trivial nuisance to capital. This sets the apocalypse in motion. As Berardi puts it in his 2011 book, The Uprising,
“When the referent is cancelled, when profit is made possible by the mere circulation of money, the production of cars, books, and bread becomes superfluous. The accumulation of abstract value is made possible through the subjection of human beings to debt, and through predation on existing resources. The destruction of the real world starts from this emancipation of valorization from the production of useful things, and from the self-replication of value in the financial field. The emancipation of value from the referent leads to the destruction of the existing world.”
As the world becomes simultaneously not enough (for capital) and too much (for the indebted people), the digital emerges, like a messiah, here to save humanity from reality and capital from its limitations. The digital promised humanity new horizons of democracy and liberty, and promised capital boundless capacity for speed and integration. It made good on one of these promises. Flows picked up speed and globalized and continue to do so to this day. Humanity, instead of being liberated by the emergence of digital technologies, has been forced to undergo a painful transformation to accommodate their proliferation in the workplace. Temporality veers wildly towards the unnatural and communication favors the simplistic as, “in the field of digital acceleration, more information means less meaning. In the sphere of the digital economy, the faster information circulates, the faster value is accumulated. But meaning slows down this process, as meaning needs time to be produced and to be elaborated and understood. So the acceleration of the info-flow implies an elimination of meaning.” Berardi describes this transformation as a paradigmatic shift at the level of social relations (and perhaps even at the level of biology), away from earthly conjunction and towards a synthetic connectivity, asserting that, “the leading factor of this change is the insertion of the electronic in the organic.” He elaborates:
“The spreading of the connective modality in social life (the network) creates the condition of an anthropological shift that we cannot yet fully understand. This shift involves a mutation of the conscious organism: in order to make the conscious organism compatible with the connective machine, its cognitive system has to be reformatted. Conscious and sensitive organisms are thus being subjected to a process of mutation that involves the faculties of attention, processing, decision, and expression. Info-flows have to be accelerated, and connective capacity has to be empowered, in order to comply with the recombinant technology of the global net… connection entails a simple effect of machinic functionality… In order for connection to be possible, segments must be linguistically compatible. Connection requires a prior process whereby elements that need to connect are made compatible.”
This change in us happened gradually, perhaps before a personal computer ever entered a private residence. In fact, corporate strategists came to favor a “networked” management structure long before the literal network ever came online. As I have suggested above, the submission of the world’s populations to the violence of debt helped inaugurate and later enforce this transformation in us. This technobiological evolution, this digital mutilation we are undergoing, represents the most serious threat to the ties that constitute us. Whereas ideology functions merely as a denial and a mystification of our ties and debt serves to corrode and corrupt our ties, the rise of digital technology amounts to a direct attack on the bodies sustaining our ties. Computing technology threatens to completely obliterate our capacity for empathy and solidarity, disintegrates our ability to conjoin, and dissolves our awareness of the sensuous: the lifeblood of our interconstitution, the source of our humanity. Berardi explains that, “In order to efficiently interact with the connective environment, the conscious and sensitive organism starts to suppress to a certain degree what we call sensibility… i.e. the ability to interpret and understand what cannot be expressed in verbal or digital signs.” Our language narrows, our horizons darken, social order breaks down and meaning gives way to chaos. Sensuous conjunction becomes networked connection, singularity becomes compatibility, and poetry becomes a glitch.
This inability to conjunct, this physical denial of our mutual ties, this loss of the sensuous and the natural, affects us on the level of meaning. It manifests itself as a ghostly trauma. We are haunted by the deep pain of the spectral loss of that which we were never able to clearly distinguish, its form only evident in a wavelength of light just beyond our eye’s ability to perceive. We feel the vague weight of our ties to one another only as an atmospheric depression, a potentiality foreclosed upon, now only existing as a lost reality, a sad fantasy of a life with others. This great lack is one potential starting point from which we can begin to retrace our lost ties and construct some semblance of meaning in this global superstorm of swirling info-chaos. Franco Berardi says as much in his 2017 book entitled Futurability, articulating that,
“pain forces us to look for an order to the world that we cannot find, because it does not exist. But this craving for order does exist: it is the incentive to build a bridge across the abyss of entropy, a bridge between different singular minds. From this conjunction, the meaning of the world is evoked and enacted: shared semiosis, breathing in consonance. The condition of the groundless construction of meaning is friendship. The only coherence of the world resides in sharing the act of projecting meaning: cooperation between agents of enunciation. When friendship dissolves, when solidarity is banned and individuals stay alone and face the darkness of matter in isolation, then reality turns back into chaos and the coherence of the social environment is reduced to the enforcement of the obsessional act of identification.”
Friendship is a prerequisite of meaning and thus a necessary precondition for the revolutionary sloughing off of the mummified husk of capitalist production. But friendship is impossible in an environment of distrust, cynicism, and bad faith. It follows that our immediate goal must be the careful fostering of those preconditions of friendship, the nurturing of an environment of trust and good faith, the development of an ecology of love. Our high level of cognitive connectivity could present an opportunity, but only as long as that connectivity is then able to be elaborated into actual bodily solidarity. Anything short of that is counterrevolutionary. The question we now turn to is one of action: how can we overcome the logic of finance and debt to reactivate our dormant sensibility and the inherent power in friendship? Is there a way of circumnavigating or outright obliterating the ideological, economic, and technological barriers to our coming together, our joyous re-union? And can sustained cultivation of the aforementioned preconditions of friendship result in a lasting apprehension of our ties to one another and the ensuing resurgence of the political and the possible?
Loving Giving So far, we have seen how the development of neoliberal capitalism and its associated technologies has functioned to rob us of our humanity, our interconstitution and intervitality; how it denies and openly attacks our ties to one another, and how, unchecked, it may transform us physiologically beyond any ability to return, where there is no longer a me-you and a you-me, but a you and a me that does not meet and mix; solitary confinement perfected. By reading Fisher, Lazzarato, and Berardi, we have identified three dominant fields of battle upon which our submission to the imperatives of capital is violently coerced and our capacity for struggle dismantled: ideology, debt, and technology. This multi-front assault upon the human and all of life is absolutely cause for despair, but is strangely also a reason for hope and a source of conviction in our practice. The immense amount of violence required to enforce the barbaric competition they call “order” is not evidence of its strength; it’s evidence of its weakness. As long as this war rages, our ties remain and another world is still possible. The day our compliance no longer requires immense ideological and psychological operations, a boundless debt prison, violent repression, and a painful, pharmacological and physiological transformation and integration into the digitized flows of capital is the day all is lost. But their war of all against all rages on and we remain human against all odds. “Life finds a way” – for now.
Technofinancial power cannot seem to stamp out the humanistic drive towards radical acts of insolvency, trust, and selflessness, even though sadly much of this drive is channeled towards frantic crisis response, trying to mitigate the damage of our system’s greatest excesses (feeding the unfed, housing and caring for the unhoused, legal support for the persecuted, etc). Even capital has, up until this point, been forced to cloak its domination in philanthropy. This is why all of the world’s arms manufacturers and pharmaceutical barons are such virulent “supporters of the arts.” But the masks are falling off and the hour grows late for our planet. Gramsci said, “The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot be born, in this interregnum a great variety of morbid symptoms appear.” A popular, and ultimately useful, mistranslation of the quote concludes ominously: “Now is the time of monsters.” And if the last decade has proven anything, it’s that the only hero we can count on is each other. Every one of us has the capacity and the duty to be both doula of the new world and vanquisher of the old one, and our salvation depends on the generalization of a hero’s bravery...
What happens to us when we share or give? Why can’t we seem to shake the old habit of altruism despite it’s utter irrationality under a system whose basic incentive structure rewards the opposite? We remain social animals despite our being governed by an antisocial ideology and we still desire love and communion despite being forcibly transformed into unfeeling, unsleeping computer parts in the automated circulation of symbols.
Giving is the main idea I want to bring forward for discussion here. It must first be said that not all giving is equal, neither in its material impact for the receiver nor in its ability to call forth our bonds from the shadows and into the warm light of apprehension. Certain acts of giving may provide immense material support for the receiver, but do little to reaffirm our ties to one another, our interconstitution, thereby unintentionally softening the brutality of capitalist production while leaving our political obligations to one another unelucidated. Whereas other acts of giving may do the opposite: forcefully affirm our ties but offer little in the way of material support, likely a key component of any act of giving that seeks to create the necessary space in the receiver’s life for proper politicization. A balance must clearly be struck, and can likely only be found through rapid and widespread experimentation, buttressed by solid theoretical and historical analysis and reflection. There also exists another type of giving, a giving that is not giving. You know this type of giving, as it is everywhere: the type of giving that asks for something in return; the type that reduces giving to an exchange; the type that requires a promise on the part of the receiver; conditional giving. This is not giving, but debt in disguise, and it must be opposed without reservation.
Already, we can begin to see the faint outline of the type of action that has potential utility in our pursuit of another world. Firstly and most importantly, giving that asks nothing in return. Giving freely and unconditionally. We can call this type of giving, loving giving. Loving giving, as opposed to conditional giving, is an act of faith and of prefiguration (of course, with varied degrees of effectiveness and vibrational intensity). It is a negation of competitive ideology, a refutation of debts logic of solvency and personal responsibility, and a rejection of the inorganic and the virtual in favor of the organic and the natural (“a century ago, scarcity had to be endured; today, it has to be enforced”). Beyond that, loving giving can be said to act as a positive affirmation of our precarity, of our shared condition and interests, and our interdependence on each other for the propagation of human life. Judith Butler makes clear that,
“...each of us is constituted politically in part by virtue of the social vulnerability of our bodies- as a site of desire and physical vulnerability, as the site of a publicity at once assertive and exposed. Loss and vulnerability seem to follow from our being socially constituted bodies, attached to others, at risk of losing those attachments, exposed to others, at risk of violence by virtue of that exposure.”
We are political creatures because of our exposure and vulnerability to each other. We are threatened by each other constantly, yet made by each other perpetually. In this way, an act of loving giving is always underwritten by the threat of violence, our looming death, perhaps at the hands of another. Death is the third party to any act of giving; violence is the notary of all love.
When we give lovingly, recklessly, irresponsibly, insolvently, and in good faith (without condition, without narcissistic recognition), the act is defined and given its shape by the other choice, the path not taken: the choice to take as much as you can get, to harm, to ask for something in return. Under neoliberalism, even ostensible inaction amounts to the de facto submission to capitalist logics. We’ve already seen how debt paralyzes us with its myopic obsession with solvency. Austerity, in some ways, can be understood as an act of inaction. There is no neutral, not anymore. There likely never was. You can act with love and bravery or you can (in)act with fear and violence. When we act in love, we create an us, and every us is predicated by an exterior, often hostile: nature, scarcity, industrialists, colonial forces, American imperialism, those who would rather we not give, that we instead sell and buy, that we exploit each other to get what we need to survive. The act of giving, then, is also an act of revelation. Giving makes sense of the world for the involved parties. It illuminates our status as both victims of a great theft and makes clear our reciprocal responsibility for maintaining the conditions where life can flourish, that we are equally culpable co-authors of our own existence. This re-establishing of our apprehension of our being bound up in one another is a precondition for any movement against the present state of things and towards anything close to communism. Acts of good faith, of loving giving, artfully designed to undercut forces of control and alienation, to debunk competitive ideology, to dismantle logics of debt, and to negate our subsumption to the digital, carve out the revolutionary us by establishing a hostile exterior and simultaneously create an atmosphere in which trust and friendship can flourish, where a return to the sensuous and to each other is possible: an ecology of solidarity and of love.
Without a doubt, it will absolutely take much more than acts of loving giving to overthrow capitalism. The importance of a diversity of tactics has been theorized for far longer than I have lived. In that spirit, I feel I must make special emphasis of the fact that during the aforementioned George Floyd riots in late May, all of the bad faith, mistrust, selfishness, and suspicion of one another was instantaneously, albeit fleetingly, abolished. Solidarity was revealed among total strangers, power erupted between and within us. Our ties to one another, despite our obvious differences (race, neighborhood, class), emerged with astounding clarity and the role of the state in enforcing capitalist relations could not have been made more plain to everyone downtown that day. Challenging police power, refusing to disperse, asserting our right to mourn as well as our willingness to get beat up, gassed, arrested, or worse (to give all?) in order to do so, risking social insolvency or financial devastation for a chance at communion, these are forceful enunciations of our intervitality, acts of love and of life and of faith that bring our bonds into focus, as well as sharply delineating the hostile forces opposing an emergent us.
With this, at last, we return to our original question with something approaching an answer: can we bring our constitutive ties up to the level of naked visibility without relying on the reactive transformational process of mourning? We would say, “yes.*” We’ve now seen how acts of loving giving can be used to assert our latent bonds to one another and reawaken a dormant solidarity and power. It can also be said that loving giving undercuts the entire chain of valorization and contains a vestigial communal logic, on top of prefiguring a world of abundance and cooperation. My utopian heart yearns to proclaim this to be one of the many possible modes of proactively attacking capitalist relations laid out before us, but as is usually the case in this type of thinking, it is more complicated than that. It must be noted that loving giving only contains such potential usefulness for our cause because it is predicated on the great historical and ongoing theft occurring all around us. The theft of our spirit, our ideas and inventiveness, our bodily energy and our human potential, our mortal life and the content of our dreams, and of our ability to reproduce ourselves in harmony with each other and with nature. In this way, it too is a reaction to a great loss. Loving giving only rings out with such piercing resonance in a world of theft and isolation. It follows that our righteous attack on capitalist relations in the form of loving giving is in fact an expression of mourning; it is our grieving the world that could be.
Good Faith and Song Maybe it is impossible to avoid mourning in our search of a politics that can bring us towards another, better world. Perhaps it is best not to run from our loss, for we have lost a lot and lose more every day. In a world literally founded upon mass theft and slaughter, maybe it is indeed the most materialist site upon which to build something new. Our collective loss is perhaps one of the few remaining things we truly share in a world devoted to the accumulation of difference and distinction. Though, in these parting words, I want to also suggest that these differences and distinctions between us need not be a source of division and that the way forward may not necessarily entail the submission of the singular to the collective. One month has passed since the George Floyd riots of May-June and a process of division, repression, and recuperation has largely played itself out. Save for a select few city centers (and bravo to them), the fires have been doused and the barricades have been removed. The rowdy, “problematic” elements comprising the protests leading edge have largely been held back or outright turned over to the authorities and despite the rather astonishingly measured criticisms of criminal property destruction, the practice has broadly been replaced by more “respectable” forms of protest. The role bad faith has played in the apparent quelling of righteous rebellion cannot be understated. With the exception, apparently, of Portland, Oregon, the capitalist state did not require its superior military technology nor a COINTELPRO level conspiracy (although I’m sure we will learn much in the decades to come about how government agencies managed the flows of information on social media) to bring this uprising to its knees. The bad faith of debt society acts to ensure our governability. Control is smuggled into our minds by the trojan horse of opportunity which is then invaded and colonized by the forces of debt. One of the first tasks for us then must be the supplanting of the system’s bad faith with our forceful good faith. Many have already begun work on this urgent adjustment. Evidence of this can be found in the internationally adopted protest slogan “no good cops, no bad protestors.” And as long as the fighting continues somewhere, presently in Portland and perhaps Atlanta, the spark of uprising still dances in the winds of this world’s chaos and all remains possible.
With these final lines, I hope to clarify how exactly we can characterize this good faith and trace what it could look like in practice. As I have hinted at above, the good faith this moment requires is not that which requires some type of submission to a preformatted gestalt. It is not the good faith of brotherhood or family, nor is it the good faith of a party or an army. What is needed is a unique form of good faith that embraces difference, that leverages our irreducible singularity towards a collective end. If we are indeed to strum and pluck at our ties to one another, revealing and (re)politicizing our interconstitution and forging a new rhythm by which we ascribe our lives new meaning, we will need the type of trust found only among a group of musicians, the good faith of a band. A band’s members develop a sense of faith in one another that does not necessarily depend upon adherence to a set program or a uniform skillset. When one member improvises, they are trusting the others to keep rhythm. This good faith must flow in both directions. At the same time, the other band members must be able to trust that the improvisation of the first musician will not ultimately lead the group beyond an unsalvageable point of no return or to a place that jeopardizes the entire performance. We have seen a very similar dialectic play out in the last few months of protest. Peaceful marches go nowhere without the militant, sometimes violent, radical edge to push things forwards, applying pressure and teasing out the contradictions of our system. Likewise, the most radical elements of a protest are easily isolated, villainized, and violently squashed without the cover and legitimacy of the less radical masses. This is a delicate balance, and it will not be struck every time. Someone hits a bad note, someone reaches for a spectacular flourish but doesn’t cleanly play it; this happens with the most seasoned and well rehearsed performers and it undoubtedly will happen in our novice first attempts at creating music together. Mistakes are relatively unimportant. What is important is what happens after. Do we stand by one another, trusting that our partners are doing what they believe right as best they can? Or do we point fingers, stop playing, and allow our efforts to disintegrate so as to avoid being lumped in with a “bad musician?” We only need to look at the last few months of unrest in this country to see that the latter spells disaster and unstoppable fascism.
A comrade asked me while looking over my shoulder as I write these parting words, “what is the nature of the song we are writing? How does it sound and what is it about?” I’ve been thinking about how best to respond to this, especially as I sit somewhat aghast at the anarchy in the above paragraphs, written by an ostensible communist. Here I must solely rely on my much deeper personal experience as an actual musician literally playing music with friends than on my limited theoretical capacity and relatively amateurish abilities as a writer and worse still, thinker. In this light, the answer emerges immediately: at this beginning stage, when we are just now learning how to play our respective instruments, albeit in a condition of extreme urgency, it does not yet matter. What is important is that we play, and play together, often, and with a spirit of openness and experimentation; building trust and solidarity and good faith and friendship while honing our respective skills, finding our specialized roles in a revolutionary assemblage. It is only in this playing together that a common taste and interest can emerge. Deciding on a rhythm or a theme for a project before ever getting into a room together to play would unquestionably be putting the cart before the horse and in the same way, thinking up a program or adopting a party line would be premature if it is not done in the context of an already ongoing collaborative struggle. We cannot yet know what new rhythms of living and sources of meaning await our discovery and pretending as if we do could actually preclude us from ever arriving at a song truly worthy of us and our respective dreams and desires. Until that time, we must begin to do the mystical, patient work of fostering the conditions for a blooming solidarity, incubating trust and friendship, meticulously cultivating an ecology of love. For love is the energy with which the ties between us vibrate. With practice, this vibration can be bent into a tone, in time and as our power multiplies, a tone becomes a chord and then, a phrase, and one day, a song will erupt forth from the space between us and all that’s within us, unmistakable and unending, and with that song will come a new rhythm to move through the world to. With practice, good faith, and determination the day will come when our music has filled the air and all that remains on earth for us to do is dance together and fall into love. Inshallah.
“Music is a peculiar mode of chaosmosis: the osmotic process of transforming chaos into harmony. Music’s process of signification is based on directly shaping the listener’s body-mind: music is psychedelic (meaning, etymologically, “mind-manifesting”). Music deploys in time, yet the reverse is also true: making music is the act of projecting time, of interknitting perceptions of time. Rhythm is the mental elaboration of time, the common code that links time perception and time projection.” -Franco Bifo Berardi
“Some thoughts have a certain sound, that being the equivalent to a form. Through sound and motion, you will be able to paralyze nerves, shatter bones, set fires, suffocate an enemy or burst his organs.” -Paul Mu’adib in David Lynch’s Dune (1984)
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captain-k8kat · 7 years
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Because I really want to share my music taste with people and recommend some songs.
I like lots of kinds of music and I wanted to make a master-post thing of all the songs and music that are my favorites because they’ve been pent up inside me for too long! 
Bands and Artists:
Mother Mother ~ Really good band but you might of already known that. I’ve been obsessed with their music and they’ve gained in popularity recently. Their music is kind of an alternative indie style but I’m not really sure if that’s the best way to describe them? They’re just really good. Trust me. 
Favorite Songs:
      Arms Tonite / Burning Pile / Family / Back in School / Problems / Ghosting / Bit by Bit (These are only some of their songs but you should check them out)
Tessa Violet ~ I really love this singer. Her voice is super nice to listen too and the lyrics in her songs are really creative and fun which is always a bonus. I don’t know about you but I tend to get tired with music that uses cliched terms over and over. Tessa Violet doesn’t do this and it’s sooooo nice to hear. Seriously I love her music. 
Favorite Songs:
Make me a Robot / Spend Some Time / Small / On My Own / Just Right / Sorry I’m Not Sorry
Radical Face ~ Another really good band. Their music is a bit different from the artists up above but it’s still really good. Kind of folks-y? sort of? Some of the songs have a kind of eerie, kind of melancholy vibe to them, idk I’m really bad at describing music, they’re just really good. Go listen to them.
Favorite Songs:
Welcome Home / The Crooked Kind / River in the Dust / Black Eyes / Let the River in / Ghost Towns
Lord Huron ~ I discovered this guy after watching some Gravity Falls fan video lol. Can’t remember the video, but I remember the music and it’s really good music! I only fairly recently discovered him so I don’t really have a lot of favorites....yet.
Favorite Songs:
Ends of the Earth / Frozen Pines / Meet me in the Woods / The Yawning Grave 
Agnes Obel ~ Some of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard, both instrumental and vocal, were done by this chick. If you’ve haven’t heard of her or heard her music before I highly recommend you check her out. Her music is magical. 
Favorite Songs:
Wallflower / Philharmonics / September Song / Run Cried The Crawling / Riverside / The Curse / Brother Sparrow / Smoke And Mirror / Under Giant Trees
Les Friction ~ The most epic band (in my opinion) I love to listen to their music when I’m in the mood for adventure or daydreaming of adventure or something like that. :P (Sadly the lead singer died so I don’t believe the band is still together but I could be wrong.)
Favorite Songs:
Firewall / Who Will Save You Now? / String Theory / Torture / Come Back to Me / Louder Then Words
Individual Songs:
Mr. Bird - Thomas Giles ~ This is the song that inspired my oc of the same name and I’ve been trying to find this song for years because it’s such a cool song.
The Suburbs - Arcade Fire ~ My all time favorite song.  
Stay Alive - Jose Gonzalez 
Chambermaid Swing - Parov Stelar ~ Probably my personal favorite electro swing song. 
Willow Tree March - The Paper Kites ~ This song has been gaining popularity it seems but I thought I’d put it here anyway because it’s that good of a song.
Apres Moi - Regina Spektor ~ All her songs are good but I think this one’s my favorite because of how different it is from her other songs. IT’S GOT BOTH FRENCH AND RUSSIAN IN IT!!! Anyway It’s a really unique song,and I really like it. 
Let’s Face it I’m Cute - 11 Acorn Lane ~ Taako’s song
Shatter Me - Lindsey Stirling (ft Lzzy Hale) ~ Probably a bit cliche but it’s still one of my favorites. I can’t believe the video came out 3 years ago 0_o
End Of The World - Hunter Hunted
In The Woods Somewhere - Hozier 
Curse - Imagine Dragons ~ one of their earlier songs but I still freaking love it.
Black Holes - Aviators ~ Couldn’t resist putting my favorite portal fan song on the list too ;P 
Ghost - Belle Histoire  ~ This song is really pretty.
A Necessary End - Saltillo 
Parrot - Stepdad 
Let’s Be Pirates! - The Future Kings Of Nowhere ~ It’s a strange song but it’s honest. lol
Boy and Bear - Rabbit song
Casualty - Kopecky Family Band ~ I used to listen to this song when I was in middle school and I still like it sooooo yeah. 
I Won’t Let Go - The Brother’s Bright
Machine - MisterWives ~ This is one of my sister’s favorite songs and I just happen to like it too lol
Everything That Dies ~ Matthew and the Atlas 
I Will Never Die - Delta Rae ~ This song sounds like a Witches chant and it’s amazing.
AND EVERY SINGLE SILLY SONG!
Basically I have too many favorite songs lol 
Also if one of the links don’t work for any reason feel free to tell me so I can fix it. 
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jessicakehoe · 6 years
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From the FASHION Archives: Lady Gaga Was Always Going to be Famous
Since its launch in 1977, FASHION magazine has been giving Canadian readers in-depth reports on the industry’s most influential figures and expert takes on the worlds of fashion, beauty and style. In this series, we explore the depths of our archive to bring you some of the best fashion features we’ve ever published. This story, originally titled “Gaga” by Elio Iannacci, was initially published in FASHION’s February 2014 issue.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY INEZ AND VINDOOH AND STYLED BY BRANDON MAXWELL, LADY GAGA WEARS A JACKET, PRICE ON REQUEST, BY COME DES GARCONS AND GLASSES, PRICE ON REQUEST, BY EARLY HALLOWEEN. HAIR BY SHAY ASHAUL BY TIM HOWARD. MAKEUP BY YADIM FOR ART PARTNER. MANICURE BY JIN SOON CHOI FOR JED ROOT.
It’s hard to believe that it’s only been five years since Lady Gaga released her first album, The Fame. The sheer number of images, hits and sound bites the 27-year-old has ushered into popular culture is uncanny. The New York native’s wardrobe choices have inspired lookalike fans and popularized collections from such designers as Jean Paul Gaultier and Hussein Chalayan. Her first fragrance, Fame, launched in 2012, sold six million bottles during its first week. University courses have analyzed her socio-political significance. She’s the only chart-topper to have used the word “transgendered” in a Billboard number one hit (2011’s “Born This Way”), and her 40 million-plus Twitter followers and 60 million Facebook fans have witnessed her fight for equal rights for women and the LGBT community. Last year, Time Magazine’s readers named her the second most influential person of the decade (beating out U.S. President Barack Obama). Unlike so many in her line of work, Gaga’s affection for fashion is not a flirtation. Whether donning legendary labels, new technologies or message-based garments, the woman formerly known as Stefani Germanotta is a living, breathing canvas. Which is probably why Donatella Versace chose Gaga as the new face of her label. Before her upcoming world tour, Gaga sat down with features editor Elio Iannacci to talk about her latest obsessions and her current album, Artpop.
You once said you wanted to be regarded as the female Andy Warhol. Do you feel closer to that goal? When I said that, I didn’t have a concept of where my career was headed. When I was writing Artpop, I was really looking at where we are now as a culture. I was in H&M the other day, looking around just to see the effect that Monster culture has had on street fashion. People used to say, ‘Who is this weird girl with her crazy outfits?’
How did the subsequent surge of fame affect you? I never let anyone change who I was. I was always willing to go down with my own artistic ship. I create things that I really care about—I fight for images, for music and for the community of fans. Born This Way was all about equality and being yourself from the inside out, but now there’s a need to celebrate that. Artpop is a celebration.
You have a mandate to make a space where high and low art, fashion and music can live together. To many, this is still seen as a radical act. This is the dilemma. I don’t believe there’s pretension in art. You don’t have to know anything about art to love it. You just have to be next to it and feel it. I want my fans to know that we don’t have to succumb to what people think a pop star should be in order to be successful.
You were accepted into The Juilliard School as a child, but your parents placed you in a private Catholic school. Had you gone through that classical training, would there be a Lady Gaga? Probably. There’s this implication that if I wasn’t so successful I would have to stop. But I never would have stopped. I would be in some bar, being Lady Gaga.
You’ve recently taken workshops with Marina Abramović—the performance artist who has risked her life for her art. How have they changed your perceptions? I thought that after The Fame, The Fame Monster and Born This Way, it had all worn me down. It felt like my mind and every muscle in my body had been taken by the noise and the cameras—but it hadn’t. I went into the woods with Marina [for an artistic workshop] and I realized how strong I really was. [Marina] will balance on a stick between her legs for nine hours and go numb in the name of art. For her, it’s all about creating this experience with the audience where they’re watching her suffer for her work. Once I was out there with the sound of the river and Marina’s calm, sweet voice telling me to close my eyes and find my way home, I knew I could do anything.
Let’s talk about the paintings of you hanging in the Louvre in Paris. You sat with Robert Wilson to recreate some historic works. Which were the most challenging? I have a connection to old souls, so there was sort of a séance element where I asked artists of the past to give me permission to feel their pain. When I was doing [Jacques-Louis David’s] The Death of Marat, I lay in each position for six or seven hours. I also did my own piece, where I hung upside-down for 45 minutes in bondage. It wasn’t meant to be sexual. I believe everyone has the power to be an art hero. You don’t have to wait until you’re dead to be appreciated, [even though] this is the age when they wait until you die to write nice things about you.
At a time when you were criticized for gaining weight, you created the body revolution movement and asked fans of all body types to post photos of themselves on your site. Did seeing their bravery help your self-esteem? My self-esteem was fine. I didn’t have a problem with my weight—the world did. The body revolution was just my way of liberating myself from that criticism. That’s what I wrote ‘Do What U Want’ about. Did it heal me? No. But I was happy to see so many fans stripping naked to show they didn’t care either. I want to remind everyone that the people who win Nobel Peace Prizes and cure diseases are not supermodels. Your legacy does not need to be a perception of beauty that’s not realistic.”
In 2009, you gave a speech at the National Equality March in Washington and called it the most important moment of your career. The rage in that speech was directed at U.S. President Barack Obama. Do you think it had an effect? You don’t know exactly where your activism is going to land. I was just one person speaking out. I grew up with gay friends, and when I started to come out with my music, they were still there, supporting me. How could I sit down every night making money off a ticket that they’re buying for my show, knowing that they don’t have the same rights that I have? I can’t do that.
Donatella Versace once told me you are today’s quintessential role model. You’ve written a song about her on Artpop that hints at how misunderstood she is. Why do you think she’s so misjudged? Nobody really knows anything about her. She is the most kind, loving, sweet woman. The point I am making with a song like ‘Donatella’ is that you love to love her and you love to hate her. It’s this thing we have in common. The truth is, we’re having a blast doing what we are doing, so that’s our silver lining. We don’t mind being these blonde martyred icons as long as we have our champagne and our Marlboro cigarettes whenever we’re together. I went to her house in Milan last year, and I was having a really tough time. I was exhausted on the Born This Way tour and she opened her home to me and had 50,000 white roses in the house. I don’t always have anyone to look up to, but seeing Donatella, where she is and how far she’s come, I get to have a role model.
You’ve managed to give the Fashion Police less power by showing up on the red carpet in meat dresses and giant eggs. Was this a conscious choice? My whole life is a fucking red carpet. The red carpet has become ridiculous. All these women are starving themselves to look amazing because this is their big moment? Why shouldn’t the press adore them every day for being entertainers? I use the red carpet as a stage. I was supposed to do something at the VMAs that they didn’t let me do. I was very upset about it. I wanted to have five or six Gagas walk the carpet in all my looks from all my videos. A lot of exciting things happened at the VMAs, so it was strange that I couldn’t do that.
You’ve written three songs with the word ‘fashion’ in the title. What keeps drawing you to this contradictory, extreme, egotistical and often magical world? It was always the thing that made me feel like I could be anything, no matter what anyone said about me. When I felt small or unimportant, my ability to sew things and invent myself like an art piece meant everything. That’s why I’ve always cared about my costumes and my show. It’s never been marketing… fashion gave me a sense of who I am.
The post From the FASHION Archives: Lady Gaga Was Always Going to be Famous appeared first on FASHION Magazine.
From the FASHION Archives: Lady Gaga Was Always Going to be Famous published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/
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okkrist-blog · 7 years
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BEYOND BOKO HARAM’S REACH, LOVE AND FEMINISM FLOURISH
Boko Haram kidnaps young women and girls, turns them into sex slaves and passes them around to its fighters like prizes. It forces them into battle, ties suicide bombs to their bodies and orders them to strike at the gates of the University of Maiduguri.
But on campus, just beyond the militants’ reach, the topics being batted around a giant lecture hall could hardly have been more different: Radical feminism. The end of the patriarchy. Husbands who do the dishes.
“I want a man who can make my breakfast,” said Rabi Isa, a 25-year-old student, rising to address the room. “One who will assist me in the kitchen and who can go shopping.”
To much of the world, the Nigerian city of Maiduguri is simply known as the birthplace of Boko Haram, the extremist group that kills with abandon and treats women and girls like property, forcing them to cook, clean, bear children and die on command.
Ever since the authorities killed the group’s spiritual leader and flattened its compound here almost a decade ago, Boko Haram has lashed the city, storming it with its fighters, bombing markets, flooding the streets with homeless families escaping its rage and attacking the university at least eight times this year alone, inspired by its rallying cry, “Western education is forbidden.”
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But there is another Maiduguri entirely, one that helps shed light on the ideological battle at play in Nigeria’s north: This is a regional capital recognized for welcoming people of all religions and ethnicities, a college town long known for its party scene and a vibrant city with a bold, often broad-minded youth culture that eight years of war cannot seem to extinguish.
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In fact, sometimes the war even helps nudge it along.
It wasn’t even 8 p.m. on a weeknight and the twerking had already begun. The D.J. was spinning Afrobeats. Bodies pressed together in dark corners. And then, just as the party started heating up, the gates of the hotel abruptly swung shut, sealing everyone inside.
The all-night party had officially started.
In a different war zone, a curfew like the one that descends on this city each night to protect residents from Boko Haram might stifle any hope of a social life. But here, it has given rise to extended lock-in parties behind protected walls. Instead of going home, young people end up carousing until the curfew lifts at dawn.
Then, when the parties get too popular and become a potential target, they close down until they pop up somewhere else.
Inside the party that night, lights bounced off a swimming pool dotted with flower petals. Here, no one was talking about the war, the many hundreds, if not thousands, of women abducted by Boko Haram, the millions uprooted by violence, facing hunger and despair. They were talking about love, sex and women’s liberation.
“They want to test you to know if you can do it very well,” said Rose Williams, 27, speaking openly about premarital sex, which she said was considered taboo by her parents’ generation. “And I do it very well.”
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She and her friends watched the men and women — some in brightly colored head scarves, one with a baby on her back — swaying with arms in the air. They had come for a girls’ night out, to take a break from their boyfriends.
“And maybe I’ll find a new one tonight,” Ms. Williams said.
Blessing Christopher, a 21-year-old beauty-school student, was on the dance floor celebrating her newfound freedom after her latest relationship ended, happily unencumbered and eager to focus on her career instead of a man.
“I’m not looking for a boyfriend,” she said. “I’m looking for a job.”
In many ways, the war with Boko Haram has been a clash of wildly divergent hopes and expectations for Nigerian society. Islamist militants who started their rebellion against the Nigerian state thought they could end government corruption by adopting a severe version of Islam.
Western ways, particularly in the realm of education, were deemed sinful. Imams in Maiduguri who spoke out against the militants and their harsh interpretation of the religion were assassinated.
The rise of Boko Haram “brought a lot of confusion into Maiduguri about what is the real Islam,” said Sheik Abubakar Gonimi, chief imam of the Bolori Central Mosque here. “Thank God we know our religion, and this had nothing to do with Islam.”
After the militants were chased from the city, imams became more vocal, speaking out against the extremist philosophies and practices of Boko Haram. Life eventually started easing up again, and young people have found safe spaces to let loose.
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Inside the concrete walls of the city zoo, dozens of young couples hold hands as they pass the elephants and the snake pit. They lounge on the grass or sit arm in arm on the benches in front of the raptor cage, the zoo’s most popular make-out spot.
One couple, Kefas Iliya and Ruth Joseph, sprawled out on the patchy lawn studying for exams. When they met two years ago, Ms. Joseph wanted to focus on her environmental biology studies, not romance.
Mr. Iliya won her over by reciting Gambian poetry. Now, they hope to marry in two years when they can settle into a dual-career household.
“We plan to have children and I will help out,” Mr. Iliya said. “I’ll help with housework and I’ll help take care of the children and my wife.”
For all the new freedoms, many longtime residents say the staggering violence and tenacity of Boko Haram has succeeded in crushing much of Maiduguri’s traditional spirit.
“The war destroyed the basic fibers of our society,” said Zannah Mustapha, a prominent lawyer who has acted as a mediator between the government and Boko Haram members. “We were known for peace.”
For years, people stopped holding elaborate, seven-day weddings with drumming, dancing and banquets of fried rice. Shops stopped selling alcohol. Concerts that once drew musicians from as far as Ethiopia came to a halt. A local dance troupe stopped its daily routines at an old amphitheater. Dancers practiced their moves in bedrooms, with the shades drawn.
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Before the war broke out, Mohammed Bukar and his friends were regulars at a local disco where they danced to American artists like Bobby Brown and Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam.
“I spent a lot of time trying to perfect Michael Jackson’s dance moves from ‘Thriller,’” Mr. Bukar said.
Then one night in the early days of the war, Mr. Bukar recalled, Boko Haram stormed the club and killed patrons inside. The disco closed. As the fighting continued in Maiduguri, other nightclubs and bars also were shuttered.
But in the past two years, as the military has begun making headway against fighters, a sense of security has slowly returned to the city. People are regaining their social lives in fits and starts, as security allows, and expressions of the culture Mr. Bukar once enjoyed spring up in unexpected ways.
Along the same streets where nervous security officers keep an eye out for suicide bombers, one traffic officer does his job while impersonating Michael Jackson, moonwalking across the intersection and guiding cars with his single white glove.
Security still defines many of Maiduguri’s dating spots. A Chinese restaurant set far back from the street, protected by tall steel gates and a metal detector, provides a spot where couples smoke water pipes and pick at greasy spring rolls. Vehicles are searched for explosives before entering the parking lots of hotels that serve alcohol, despite a ban on sales in much of the city.
In another part of the city, vehicles crammed onto a short dirt road, leading to a narrow hall lined with couples standing close to one another. The passage opened up into a large beer garden where no fewer than 300 young people sat around plastic tables, nursing bottles of beer and watching a group of young men bend their bodies to loud music, laughing. Soldiers still in uniform milled around in the crowd, bottles of beer in hand and rifles dangling from their torsos.
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A local photo studio lets couples transport themselves from the grimness of the war, posing for portraits in front of a selection of backdrops: a field of white horses, a palatial living room with a spiral staircase, giant floating roses or a gently flowing river. Outer space is popular.
Lillian Usa, dressed in a Clash T-shirt and dark-rimmed glasses, was there with her boyfriend, a medical student, standing near a wall decorated with lipstick kiss smears from women perfecting their makeup.
In between photo shoots and changes of outfits, she listed the things she doesn’t like about her boyfriend — chiefly his hot temper. They think about marriage but want to wait until they both have completed their studies.
“He has, let’s say, 80 percent of the characteristics I like,” Ms. Usa said. “I’m teaching him the other 20 percent.”
Another couple, Samson Luca and Prisca Ibrahim, were having portraits taken before Mr. Luca, a soldier, left on a mission to fight Boko Haram.
“I’ve been away a lot so I wanted to come here so that she can look at me and remember me,” Mr. Luca said. “I’ll be gone a long time.”
He took off his Playboy bunny T-shirt, and the couple changed into matching camouflage shirts to pose for photos.
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Some couples say they still hide their physical relationships from old-fashioned parents who would not understand, despite the fact that Maiduguri is a cosmopolitan city where televisions are tuned to CNN and Adele songs are popular ringtones on smartphones.
Many of the views here seem to come from a different planet than Boko Haram’s; the group’s leaders preach that women can earn their way to heaven by blowing themselves up alongside soldiers at checkpoints.
At the university campus, Raphael Audu Adole, a professor wearing faux crocodile loafers and carrying a laptop tucked under his arm, stepped behind the lectern to explain the roots of male oppression.
“Society is constructed to favor the interests of men, isn’t it?” he asked his class.
“Yes,” responded a chorus of 150 young men and women.
“The man is trying to dominate,” he said. “Are you following me?”
“Yes,” the students chanted.                     
“Women are marginalized, oppressed and abused,” he continued. “Men have taken the part of domination and force in relations in the family. This is a big problem in society and we need to do something about it.”
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