#inspired by happiest year by jaymes young

[itsmrvlxh50]

It’s up, tbh I didn’t expect to have it up so soon, it’s probably the procrastination of having to study.

Erik after being on the run after Cuba and Happiest Year by Jaymes Young. Hopeful ending.

I am probably gonna break more the hearts of the cherik fandom with the next fic I am dropping sometime soon…

[https-harlow]

Happiest Years

Elliot X Reader Part 2 - Part 3

Summary - The same place that your relationship grew even closer than you could expect is also the same place that your relationship completely falls apart.

Inspired by Happiest years - Jaymes Young, if you want to listen to it as you read.

Word Count - 3.1k

Warnings - Warnings - mentions of addiction, brief description of drug use, implications of sex if you look close enough, angst, fluff, and sad all at the same time.

You and Elliot had been dating for over 2 years. 2 years, 6 months, and 13 days to be exact. You knew because you were the type of couple to celebrate every anniversary, whether it was every 6 months, or your year anniversaries. Not in a cringey way, but you and Elliot liked to surprise each other, and you would take any opportunity to do so. You would plan the 6-month anniversaries to surprise Elliot, and he would plan the year ones to surprise you. It worked for you two.

Around your 1-year anniversary you found out Elliot had been using drugs, you always had your suspicions, but you never wanted to accept it. You couldn’t deny it anymore after you walked in on him in the process of crushing up a pill. That night ended up in the biggest fight you two had ever had. Elliot promising to change, quit doing drugs for you after you had given him an ultimatum. You or the drugs. 

For the next year of your relationship things seemed to be going well, you and Elliot moved into your own small apartment after about 1 year and 6 months. Elliot, letting you decorate it however you wanted.

In this apartment your relationship grew even closer, if that was possible. You had both spend the night at each other’s houses many times, but sharing an apartment was different, but you both loved it. Knowing that no matter what happened during the day you would both end up coming home to each other, laying in bed and talking about each other’s day. 

What neither of you expected is in the same apartment that your relationship grew stronger, would also be the apartment where your relationship would fall apart. 

You were standing in front of Elliot with tears in your eyes. Elliot didn’t know what to say to get you to stay. All that was going through his head was all the memories he had with you.

The first time you met

It was at a party, some random party he didn’t even want to go to, but his friends dragged him to it, and so did yours. You had been trying to walk away from the crowded makeshift dance floor, when Elliot had been doing the same. Some drunk person bumped into Elliot, making him bump into you, “Shit, sorry” he apologized, you shrugged, as a way of saying it’s not a big deal, before you made it out of the crowd, going to sit outside, where you saw an empty spot with a couple chairs. A couple minutes later Elliot happened to find the same chairs, recognizing you as the girl he bumped into earlier, “Sorry about earlier, some people don’t know how to handle their alcohol” he said, making you laugh softly “Its ok, it’s not your fault.” You said as he sat down next to you “I’m Elliot” he introduced himself “I’m (Y/N)” you smiled at him. That’s where you spent the rest of the party, talking to each other. Eventually exchanging numbers before the night ended.

Your first date

Elliot wasn’t much of a romantic, he never really liked planning dates, he was more of a spontaneous person. Also, he normally just didn’t care all that much. You were different. He had planned your date days in advance. He even bought you flowers. He had drove you to a local park, where your best friend had helped him set up a small picnic. He didn’t want to make things to extravagant, not wanting to feel like he had to outdo himself for any more dates you two went on, but still wanting to make it special. He had something planned after the Picnic, but you never found out what that was, you ended up staying there, laying with him on the blanket that was set up for a couple hours.

The time he won you a giant stuffed animal at the carnival

You had dragged Elliot with you to the town’s carnival. He didn’t really want to go, but he went because you wanted him to come with you. You two had been walking around when had pointed to a giant stuffed animal that was offered as a prize at some of the games “It’s so cute” you said, and he knew he wanted to win you one, practically dragging you towards the game “I’m going to win it for you” Elliot told you, “Elliot, what are we going to do with it? Carry it around all night?” you asked, he shrugged “we’ll figure it out, I’ll carry it for you, you said its cute, and I want to get it for you” you nodded “Well, it is cute, so I’m not going to tell you no" Elliot nodded, kissing you before walking up to the game where you spent the next 45 minutes, laughing softly as Elliot became more frustrated as he kept losing at the game. You had told him it was fine, you’d live without the stuffed animal, but he was determined. Both of you cheering once he finally won it, handing it over to you as you hugged it “Thanks El” you smiled, kissing him softly. “How much did you spend to get this?” you asked, “You didn’t have to do that, but I love it” you told him, he shrugged “After about 25 minutes, the guy stopped charging me.” Which was true, the guy running the game just got tired of taking the money, plus he thought it was cute how much Elliot was trying. “Plus, now you can say that I won you a stuffed animal, make your friends jealous that their boyfriends didn’t do that for them” Elliot said, making you laugh. Elliot ended up carrying the stuffed animal for you after about 15 minutes, he didn’t mind though.

The first time he said he loved you, that you knew about

Very early in your relationship, before you two had graduated, Elliot would drive you to either your house or his after school and you two would hang out all afternoon. Sometimes doing homework, sometimes you two would smoke and get high together, occasionally you would fall asleep after in Elliot’s arms. Elliot always found it adorable when you would fall asleep on him, occasionally he would fall asleep too, but most of the time he would stay awake. He would occasionally kiss the top of your head, saying things that he was afraid to tell you when you were awake, mostly just the fact that he was in love with you. It wasn’t the first time he had done that, but this time you weren’t asleep, he just thought you were. “I love you” he whispered, kissing the top of your head, you smiled softly “I love you too” you whispered back, “I thought you were asleep” Elliot laughed softly, “Almost was” you told him, looking up at him “I’ve done that before, you know? Told you I love you while your asleep” he told you, making you blush, “I’m glad I finally heard you” you smiled, leaning up and kissing him softly before laying back on his chest. Him running his hands through your hair.

Your movie dates

You would always insist on watching a scary movie, you liked them, they just scared you, which was what they were supposed to do. Elliot knew this, and as much as he also liked scary movies his favorite part of watching them quickly became you being in his arms after the first scary part. After the movie was over you would insist on Elliot staying over that night, and he always would, never being able to say no to you. You would sometimes want to watch a scary movie just so that Elliot would stay over.

The first night at your apartment

After spending all day moving and getting as much unpacking done as you could, Elliot was exhausted, and so were you. Elliot was laying in bed, as you laid next to him. Elliot was falling asleep, trying his best to stay awake as he listened to you talk about how you wanted to decorate and what you wanted to put where, but honestly, he was just exhausted. “Baby, relax, it will get done when it gets done.” He told you, he was always the more relaxed one in the relationship, “I know” you said “Go to sleep” he told you, kissing you softly, you nodded, truthfully you were exhausted to. “Goodnight, I love you” you told him, kissing him once more, “Love you too baby, goodnight” Elliot said, closing his eyes, both of you falling asleep in minutes.

All the other nights you spent together

You both were laying on the couch, you lay on top of Elliot, the movie you were watching was currently being ignored, only paying attention to each other. Your hands were on his chest as your lips disconnected, his lips kissing down your jawline, and to your neck, you tilting your head to the side as he did so. After a moment you stood up, reaching your hand out as Elliot stood up too, grabbing your hand and leading you to your shared bedroom, pushing you up against the wall as your lips reconnected.

And all the mornings

You usually woke up before Elliot did, sometimes you would end up laying in bed until he woke up, and other times you would get up and make breakfast, it usually just depended on how late you were up the night before. When you would get out of bed before he did Elliot would always wake up shortly after you did, getting up and walking out to the kitchen, finding you and wrapping his arms around your waist, kissing your shoulder softly before laying his chin on the top of your head, “good morning” He said quietly, “good morin El” you smiled softly, turning to kiss him before you went back to cooking breakfast.

The time he came home to you crying

Elliot walked in the front door, putting his keys down “I’m home baby” he called out, he heard the tv on and he walked around the corner. He was instantly concerned as he saw you crying “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” he asked, sitting down next to you, you nodded “Yeah, the movies just sad” you said, as he laughed softly “You’re adorable” he said, hugging you as he finished the rest of the movie with you, and even though he didn’t admit it you saw him shed a couple tears too.

Elliot didn’t even notice that he had started crying as well. The two of you standing in the living room crying for a completely different reason this time. You had come home early from work when you had walked in on Elliot snorting some sort of powder, you didn’t even bother to ask what it was.

Elliot was still trying to think of something to say to get you to stay, but he knew he couldn’t. He knew he couldn’t promise you he would stop doing drugs, he had done that once, and even the first time he knew he couldn’t. He just promised himself he would be better at hiding it, and he broke both of those promises.

“Baby, please don’t leave, we can make this work, we can talk about it” Elliot said putting his hand on your arm as you were throwing things into a bag. “I can’t do this again Elliot. I told you last time you had to choose. You’ve made your choice” you said, you couldn’t look up at him, not wanting to look into his eyes, knowing you wouldn’t be able to leave if you did. 

“I can’t watch you do this to yourself Elliot, I can’t. I gave you a chance and you chose to lie to me” you told him “I really tried, I did, I promise, I slipped up a couple months ago. I was clean for over a year.” Elliot said, “Were you or did you just get better at lying?” you asked, “I was clean until you went out of town for a week, I just got with the wrong group again.” 

“So, you’re saying this is my fault?” Elliot shook his head “No, not at all. That’s not what I meant.” Elliot sighed, “Well that’s kind of what it sounded like.” You said, throwing more random clothes into the bag “You’re acting like this is an easy decision for me, like I haven’t been afraid of having to do this for the last year and a half” you finally looked over at him, seeing him cry broke your heart even more, it that was even possible. 

“I’m trying to stop. I want to get clean. I don’t like depending on the drugs.” Elliot said, “Maybe once you get clean things will be okay, but what am I supposed to do? Stay until you either decide to get clean or kill yourself? I can’t do that” you told him; Elliot looked up at you “I can’t get clean without you. I don’t have a reason to if I don’t have you” Elliot’s words making you consider staying, putting your feelings aside, just wanting to help him, but you decided you couldn’t, you had to put yourself first.

“Maybe if you get clean, things could work out, you know I’ll be there for you no matter what.” You meant that. No matter what happened between you and Elliot, you would always love him, how could you not? “But it’s not the same” Elliot said as you zipped up your bag, grabbing it off the bed, turning to walk out of the bedroom, walking towards the front door. 

“Baby wait.” Elliot said from behind you, making you stop, slowly turning around to face him.

“Thank you for the happiest years of my life” Elliot said, looking into your eyes.

You thought his words from earlier and seeing him cry broke you as much as you possibly could have been broken, but that one sentence broke you 10 times harder. You knew what you were doing was the right thing, but the right thing isn’t always the easiest. 

“I’m sorry Elliot” you sighed “I love you, please remember that. If you need anything, please let me know. I’ll be here for you in a heartbeat. Even if we are just friends. I don’t want to lose you” you said, before turning around

“I love you (Y/N)” he said, it was almost a whisper, but it was loud enough for you to hear, you walked out the door and closed it behind you. Walking to your car and instantly breaking down. Driving to your best friend’s house, not knowing where else to go.

Elliot stood frozen for a few minutes, not processing the fact that you just walked out of the door, leaving him. One of the only people he truly loved walking out of his life. He walked back to your room, opening one of the drawers in what used to be your shared dresser. Pulling a small box from the bottom of one of them. He had planned to ask you to marry him the next week, and now you had left, potentially forever. He had no idea that his life could have changed that much in the last couple of hours. Elliot was debating if he should have asked you right then, maybe he could have stopped you from leaving, but that wasn’t how he had planned on asking you. Plus, he couldn’t take the extra heartbreak of you saying no to his proposal and then walking out of the apartment. The heartbreak of just you leaving was already more then he thought he could handle. Maybe you would have said yes, then you wouldn’t have left, stayed with him while he got clean, he really was trying to, but something wouldn’t let him. Maybe he needed the threat of you leaving him to make him finally stop doing drugs, it worked the last time, he just never expected you to actually leave. 

He was considering following you out the door, trying to catch up to wherever you were going, he would have drove around for hours until he found you if he had to, but what if it made things worse? Would he ask you to marry him right then? Tell you he had a surprise for you and hoped you came with him so he could propose the way he had planned? Just try to apologize and hope you accepted?  He thought that was a stupid idea he shouldn’t follow you, you needed space, but he wanted to get you back in any way he could, he knew he had to, even if that took years. 

He sat down on the side of the bed, looking at the box in his hands, almost like it would somehow bring you back to him. He laid back on the bed, staring up at the celling. He started to notice how the sheets that laid on the bed smelled like you, or how your favorite blanket was laying under him. He noticed the stuffed animal he had won you at the carnival was sitting in the corner of the room, you had kept it this whole time, even though it took up a lot of room and it didn’t exactly match the rest of the décor, you could never bring yourself to get rid of it. Everything in the apartment you two had shared reminded him of you.

He threw the box against the wall, hearing it bounce off the wall and hit something, he heard something shatter and he sat up to see what it was, looking over and seeing a broken picture frame, it had his favorite picture of you two in it. The box laying next to it. He didn’t care enough to clean up the glass, laying back on the bed. 

He hoped one day you would come back to him, not as a friend, he knew he could never just be friends with you, it would hurt him too much. He never really believed the whole ‘right person, wrong time’ thing, he thought that if you were with the right person, you could make it work no matter what, that’s what love was right? You loved someone unconditionally, no matter what mistakes they made, but some mistakes were bigger than others, and to you lying was one of the biggest mistakes someone could make. You both wanted to spend the rest of your life together, and you both hoped that one day you could make it work, but that’s not something either of you had an answer to right now, and that’s what hurt both of you the most.

[koutarousangel]

━ hometown glory.

prompt : you were incredibly nervous to return home, especially since you knew that he’d returned home too. loosely inspired by this.

genre : angst to fluff

warnings : i mean at this point i can put swearing as a warning every time cause they’re apart of my everyday vocabulary lmao.

music suggestion : hometown glory - adele, happiest year - jaymes young, from the dining table - harry styles.

author’s note : @asdfghjkl7things​​ thank you so much for your support and your request ! i hope you like it !

you and hajime started dating during your third year in high school.

it was a surprise to practically everyone who knew you two, but the both of you had promised each other that you’d keep it on the down low as you were getting to know each other. mostly bc the two of you had friends that never knew how to shut up.

and what you had between you wasn’t really anyone else’s business.

you’d comforted him when they’d lost to karasuno, telling him that it wasn’t his fault and that he’d done all that he could, and you told him that if he wanted to, he could play volleyball again, or do whatever he wanted.

he’d consoled you when you failed the one exam that you needed to pass to go to the university of your dreams and he encouraged you to take the make-up exam, studying with you and making sure you were more than prepared.

you were each other’s rock and you genuinely thought that you were going to last.

until you got into an argument which turned into a full-blown fight bc the two of you were moving away from each other to study your respective courses.

you were scared of long-distance bc you didn’t want to hold iwa back, iwa tried telling you that you could make it work, but as you insisted, he accused you of never really loving him and that you were just finding a way out.

ouch.

four years later, the both of you were college graduates, and something drew you both back to japan.

walking through your hometown felt strange. it was familiar, heartwarming, but at the same time it felt as if you were a tourist, discovering everything for the first time. it had been a while since you’d walked through the streets of miyagi, having gotten used to the streets of london so much that the peace and quiet was almost far too loud. you’d thought about it, staying in london and finding a job there, settling with a brand new life but part of you missed japan so much, your family, your friends … him.

“you know,” your friend looked at you pointedly as she wiped a vegetable piece away from the corner of her mouth, “he’s back in japan, right?” it was almost as if she was fighting a smirk.

a sigh left your lips as you shook your head a little bit, “i know… he posted something on instagram,” the subtle confession that you still followed him on social media came out as a grumble, because you knew that your friend would make it her priority to never let you live it down. which was why you’d never told her that you’d accidentally liked one of his posts.

her eyes widened to the size of saucers and she practically choked on her drink, batting at your upper arm, “you sly fox you, so you do follow him!” you halted her frantic movements by grabbing her wrist.

“i do, which is also how i know that he has a girlfriend,” it was almost comical, how your friend practically deflated at your comment, scowl growing on her face, “it’s been four years, it was bound to happen.”

still, seeing him with his arm around her shoulders made your heart ache and you had angrily swiped away at the tears that spilled down your cheeks, because it was your fault. keeping him back had never been your intention and that’s what you felt you would have done had you remained in a relationship together. all that distance, the drastic time difference, attending separate colleges full of new experiences. you wanted hajime to have the world.

it was almost as if fate was trying to play some sort of cruel trick on you, because as your mind raced with thoughts of your old high school boyfriend, you felt yourself collide with someone and as soon as you heard your name being uttered by the person in question, you swore your heart wanted to jump out of your chest.

“hajime…” his name tumbled out of your mouth in what practically could be constituted as a breathless gasp, as if seeing his face in person after four years had completely winded you.

the man in question took a slight step back, taking a good look at you, almost making sure that you were really in front of him, and not his imagination toying with him. “small world,” was his only comment as he scratched the back of his head, awkwardness settling between you two as you wrapped your arms around yourself, the chill in the air suddenly very prominent.

“would you like to get some-” “i was going to go get some” the both of you spoke at the same time, nervous words overlapping each other. “coffee…” a smile as your shared thoughts fell together in perfect harmony, as if nothing had changed.

you had walked to the coffee shop in silence, questions of why you’d agreed to get coffee with your ex racing through your mind but the reason was simple … you didn’t want to walk away from him, not yet at least. sneaking glances at him while he grabbed your coffees made your heart thump faster than it had in a while, reminiscent of the first time you’d went on a date together.

there was a slight fear that it would be far too awkward to handle, but the two of you fell into a comfortable conversation, telling stories of your college days, how you’d gotten so drunk one time that you ended up stealing a plant and taking it back to your dorm, or how he’d once gotten so hungry during a late study session that he and his friends went to a mcdonalds drive through, even though they didn’t have a car.

you laughed until your face hurt, and you hadn’t realised, but the two of you had instinctively gotten closer to each other, and his arm had ended up wrapped around your chair, you leaned over and shoved him whenever he said something to tease you.

it was as if these four years apart never happened.

as your shared laughter died down and you finished off your drink, iwaizumi looked down at his lap and shook his head slightly, chuckling to himself and making you smile softly, “what?” you questioned, poking his shoulder.

“it’s still you, you know?” he looked up at you, eyes locking with yours as he gave a slight shrug of his shoulders, “the person i see by my side at the end of the day.”

his words hit you like a punch to the gut and you almost forgot how to breathe. you cringed, nose burning as tears tickled the corners of your eyes as you pushed your chair back, standing up and grabbing your belongings, holding them close to your chest as you rushed out of the coffee shop.

you could hear him calling for you, but the blood had rushed to your ears and you were trying your hardest to keep from crying, but as soon as you felt his hand around yours, you spun around and shoved at his chest, once, twice, tears dripping freely onto the pavement, cheeks burning red with anger and sadness, heart that was excitedly jumping around, now quietly sitting in the corner, thumping cautiously as you felt him grab at your hands to stop you from hitting him any further.

“you can’t say that shit hajime! you can’t say it, not after four years of nothing … you didn’t try to fight for me, convince me to stick with you through it all, and you have someone else! how sick can you be? saying that shit to me, stringing that girl along …” the anger wasn’t making you think straight, words spilling out of your mouth without you mulling them over first. 

it was iwaizumi’s turn to get angry at your words, “you broke up with me!” he pushed your hands away from his before pointing an accusatory finger at you, “you broke up,” and he turned his finger shakily at himself, “with me.”

your mouth dropped open and you closed it again, gaping at the air like a fish out of water, hoping the words would come to you, “i wanted what’s best for you,” you managed to whisper, “i wanted for you to be happy.”

“and you came to that decision on your own!” his chest was heaving now, bottom lip trembling as he tried to keep his strong facade, but it was crumbling, “how dare you, decide for me what’s best for me?” his words were only making your chest ache because they were true. you were scared that you were not enough for him, that you’d never be enough for him, “you were what’s best for me, i wanted to share everything with you!” but you were wrong. 

he let out a strangled laugh, “and that girl? she knew it too. i tried going on one date with her, and when i tried going home with her, she pushed me away and told me that i was just kidding myself and setting myself up to get hurt, because my heart was with someone else.”

the two of you were practically in hysterics, wild stares at each other, tears staining your cheeks and some threatening to fall on his own. this was how the argument was supposed to go four years ago, not with you doing everything in your power to walk away. you needed to talk it out, communicate with each other; the only reason it had reached this point, as if you were two people in some kind of romantic movie on the sidewalk professing your love for each other, was because all these emotions had accumulated during the past four years.

after he let out a couple of strangled breaths, iwaizumi’s shoulders slumped, and he raked his hand through his hair, shaking his head and going to sit down on the sidewalk, arms on his knees and head bowed forward.

you watched him for a couple of moments, hand pressed over your mouth as you tried not to sob. the man who’d held your heart so firmly in his hands even if you were continents away had never given up on you. suddenly you didn’t feel so pathetic, but the guilt was eating you alive. you’d never meant to hurt him so, you adored him and you really did want the best for him.

swallowing back the remainder of the tears, you looked up at the sky and sniffled softly, before taking a couple of brave steps forward, kneeling down and wrapping your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” you chanted softly, knowing that no matter how many times you said it, silently praying that he’d accept your apology, even though you didn’t really deserve it.

his hand rested gently on your forearm and he kept his head forward, pressing soft kisses to your wrist and the back of your hand. iwa hesitated for a moment, before he rested his hands on your waist, carefully guiding you to his lap and wrapping his arms around you, rocking you back and forth and shushing you quietly as you continued to sob into his chest. the way he said your name was as soft as a butterfly coming to rest on a fingertip, and he gently guided your face up to look at his.

“i forgive you,” he admitted to you, giving you a small smile, “i’m sorry for yelling, i’m sorry for letting you go ... ” his forehead came to rest against yours, and his eyes were closed. you could feel your heart practically soaring, having him so close again, him accepting your apology. 

your hand came to rest on his face, thumb gently drawing back and forth across his cheek, before leaning forward and leaving a tentative kiss on the side of his mouth, watching as his eyes all but shot open, cheeks burning red under the palm of your hand as he looked into your eyes, “i forgive you too hajime.”

~ three year timeskip. ~

you were anxious. more anxious then you had been ever in your life. 

you’d been with hajime ever since you reconciled now, going through all the motions with settling into your life back in japan, finding a job you both love but still there were struggles. like how hajime worked himself to the bone, hell bent on being the best athletic trainer the national volleyball team had ever seen. you laid blankets on his shoulders when he slept at his desk while he was writing reports or planning injury prevention programs. meanwhile, he carried you to bed whenever you fell asleep on the couch because you couldn’t sleep in an empty bed, or when you were studying for your job and you fell asleep at your own desk.

your relationship was strong, communication prominent during the whole time, because you knew what could happen if it wasn’t there. the two of you never went to bed angry with each other, he always brought home flowers if he fucked up, hiding his face behind the bouquet as he uttered an apology and you always made sure to bring him a cup of tea to bed if you stepped out of line, before cuddling into his side and muttering a small ‘i’m sorry’ into the silence.

vip tickets gave you the perfect view of the volleyball court, adorning the japanese flag on one of your cheeks and a polo shirt that matched hajime’s with ‘iwaizumi’ spread across your shoulders.

it would be your own name anyway, you thought, as you twirled the engagement ring around your finger, grinning brightly before looking up at him and giving him an encouraging wink, mouthing an i love you at him.

you’d returned home twice; to japan the first time, and to iwaizumi hajime’s heart the second time.

[mashup-writing]

Can you do a fic were y/n and rosé's relationship is breaking and they have a kid. So once they are celebrating 15 years of blackpink they have a fight which leads to rosé leaving can the fic be inspired by happiest year by jaymes young

Rosé x translate reader ^^ so.ething like this

Love sparkles

Sparkles, you owe everyone an apology

[itsmrvlxh50]

I did it! I hope it’s worthy of the number.

Enjoy!!

Anyone wants to do the honors?

[dynastyau]

The Dynasty Playlist

No on asked for this but I wanted to share the playlist that I have built specifically to use when I write for the Dynasty AU if anyone wanted to check it out. I specifically curated this playlist for this AU and future parts. I will add the Spotify link at the end if you wanna give it a listen! I am constantly adding new songs to it as well so I come up with new ideas or find new songs that give me inspiration 

-MaKenzie ♥️

----------------------------

1. Dynasty by MIIA

2. Paralyzed by NF

3. You Are The Reason by Calum Scott 

4. Can You Hold Me by NF

5. You Are A Memory by Message To Bears

6. Hold On by Chord Overstreet 

7. Little Do You Know by Alex & Sierra 

8. Train Wreck by James Arthur 

9. Ghost of You by 5 Seconds of Summer

10. Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi 

11. Let Me Down Slowly by Alec Benjamin 

12. Need To Know by Calum Scott

13. So Cold by Ben Cocks 

14. lovely by Billie Eilish ft Khalid

15. Surrender by Natalie Taylor 

16. Lost Without You by Freya Ridings 

17. you were good to me by Jeremy Zucker

18. Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi

19. Six Feet Under by Billie Eilish 

20. Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie

21. Fire On Fire by Sam Smith 

22. Us by James Bay 

23. Remembering Sunday by All Time Low

24. That’s Us by Anson Seabra 

25. Too Young by Sabrina Carpenter 

26. I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young 

27. Someone To Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

28. One Day by Tate McRae

29. Happiest Year by Jaymes Young 

30. Waves by Dean Lewis 

31. Saturn by Sleeping At Last 

32. Can We Kiss Forever? by Kina

33. Pompeii by Bastille 

You can find the whole playlist here if you wanna check it out! 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6zEJywejJOQJIGUm00IqDB?si=58Z4jZyHSReuxHSjd1P50Q

[zackary-ford]

What are some things that make you happy and feel loved and encouraged!? Leave a comment below! Right now I'm listening to the song, "Happiest Year" by Jaymes Young! Do you guys like this song? God bless you ALL and Jesus loves 💕 you unconditionally! Believe that my friend!

I have come to believe that Self-Awareness and Not over judging yourself, having patience, and work ethic have extremely impacted me and I wanted to say, I hope this post and these words encouraged you! Have an amazing and encouraging day!

#love #life #comment #inspiration #happiness #motivation #joy #god #peace #like #faith #jesus #ZackarFord #inspired #blessed #encouraged

[long-days]

I often don't post anything of my own content yet, I want to say that Haikyuu is an anime that never failed to make me happy, or shed a tear, or even inspire me. I haven't been in this fandom long but, I will never take Haikyuu for granted. I hate saying goodbye, but thank you Furudate for creating these character that I and others have come to love and adore with all our hearts. Thank you.

"How lucky I am to have sometimes that makes saying goodbye so hard"

[https-harlow]

Happiest Years - Part 3

Elliot X Reader Part 1 Part 2

Summary - You have a conversation with Elliot, causing you to move back into your shared apartment. A few months later Elliot gives you something

Inspired by Happiest Years - Jaymes Young

Word count - 3.8k

Warnings - Relapse, withdraw, mention of overdose, drug use.

A/N - I spent the last week and a half writing this, I rewrote the beginning several times and I don't know how I feel about it, but it gets better I promise. Sorry if the withdraw/relapse part isn't exactly accurate, I have never been through either, and that's what made sense for the story in my head. I do have a couple reasons why characters did a certain thing, that may not be the clearest in the story, I did that on purpose, but if you have a question about it or just want to know my reasoning behind something let me know and I'd be happy to answer, just don't want to put it here and spoil something.

That night you ended up back at the apartment, you and Elliot having a long conversation the next day about everything the next day. Both of you sitting on the couch, facing each other.

“I’m sorry (Y/N), I really am. I know apologizing isn’t going to fix everything, but I truly mean it when I say I don’t want to do drugs anymore, especially if I’m going to lose you over them.” Elliot told you

“You’re right, apologizing isn’t going to fix everything, it’s going to take time.” You said, pausing before you continued “You can’t only not want to do drugs because of me Elliot. If you do, it’s not going to last. You can’t be dependent on me. What happens if we get in a fight, or one of us goes somewhere without the other one, are you just going to go back to doing drugs?” you sighed, Elliot shaking his head 

“I don’t mean I’m going to become dependent on you, I know last time I said all this same shit, but this time something feels different for me, I knew last time it wasn’t going to last, I knew the first opportunity I had to start using again, I would. This time I don’t feel like that” he said, you nodded 

“I believe you” you told him “I just love you too much to watch you hurt yourself like this. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. No matter what it is, even if it’s something I won’t be happy with. No more lies.”

“No more lies” Elliot repeated, smiling softly “Will you come back home now? It feels so empty without you” Elliot asked, laughing softly, making you smile

“Yes, I will” you told him, this time Elliot smiled

“I love you” Elliot told you 

“I love you too” you leaned forward and kissed him softly.

“Also, I’m sorry if me asking you to marry you scared you or anything, I didn’t mean it like that, well, I’d marry you, but that’s not how I’d ask. Everything was just getting to me all at once. The drugs, the shots I took, being with you again” Elliot rambled

“No, it’s okay, it didn’t scare me, it was just a lot to take in you know? I wasn’t even sure if you were going to remember saying that last night. Every time we’ve talked about it you’ve said you weren’t sure how you even feel about marriage specifically, and I’m okay with that. We both know we want to spend the rest of our lives together, and that’s enough for me. Marriage or not.” You told him

“I want you marry you one day, you’re planning the wedding though, your better at those things.” Elliot said, making you smile softly

“Well, I want to marry you too, I just don’t want to pressure you.” You told him, making him shake his head.

“You aren’t I promise” Elliot smiling at you softly.

The next day you brought your stuff back from your best friend’s house and were moved back in. You took off work to help Elliot with his withdraws, even though he told you not to, he didn’t want you to have to see him going through withdraws again anymore then you had to. He hadn’t been using as long as the first time he went through withdraws, and he knew what to expect this time, but it still wasn’t easy. 

As much as he tried to talk you out of staying with him all day, he did appreciate it, and it did make it a little easier for him. You could tell when he wanted you to be with him and take care of him, but you also made sure to give him space when he needed it. Most of the time Elliot did want you around, but there was the occasional time that he wanted to be alone. 

You had to admit that it did make you a little nervous to leave him alone, especially when he was still going through withdraws and you knew it would be easy for him to go back to using drugs, but you did watch him get rid of the rest of his drugs, and he never gave you a reason to believe that he was still using.

As much as you did trust Elliot, and you trusted that he wouldn’t lie to you, you always had a thought in the back of your mind that he would start using drugs again and not tell you. He hid it from you twice, and as much as you did have suspicions the first time, you had absolutely no idea the second time. Maybe he just got better at lying, maybe you were naive to think that, maybe you trusted to much, but maybe you just saw the best in Elliot. You did truly love him, and you knew that he truly loved you too. 

Even though most relationships that started in high school didn’t last you both knew yours was different. Elliot knew that every time he lied to you, he was risking your relationship, but you were lying to him too, you were always afraid that he would relapse, but you would never tell Elliot that, you never wanted him to think that you doubted him. You both wanted to spend the rest of your life together, but for some reason you both were risking it.

What you didn’t know is that you didn’t have to worry about Elliot relapsing, he never truly quit. He did cut down on his drug use by quite a bit, enough that he was still going through withdraws, but when they would get too bad, when he was alone, he would end up doing something just to take the edge off, not enough that you would notice. He knew you saw him flush drugs, but you didn’t know he had another stash of some pills hidden where he knew you wouldn’t check. 

Elliot knew that he was setting himself up to relapse when he didn’t flush the other stash of pills that he forgot about until the next day, but he knew even if he flushed them, he could always just get more. He hated how reliant he was on the drugs, but at the same time he couldn’t break that reliance, and he honestly wasn’t sure he wanted to in a way. 

Elliot didn’t feel like he was addicted to the point of it being a problem, he knew his limits, he knew what drugs not to mix with other drugs, or what drugs not to mix with alcohol. To an extent it wasn’t the drugs that were a problem for you, while you didn’t want to sit and watch Elliot use drugs, hoping he didn’t overdose until he hopefully decided to quit, the biggest problem for you was the lying.

 He just knew exactly what he had to say to get you to come back. That was one of the downsides of your relationship, you both knew each other so well to the point that it could be used against the other person. He thought he was lying to protect you, he would quit when he was ready, and you would never find out, but that’s exactly what he thought the last 2 times, and even though he’d promise to himself that he would be better at hiding it, not making the same stupid mistake of doing drugs out in the living room, but he broke that promise to himself just like he broke his promise of quitting to you.

You thought that lying about being afraid Elliot was going to relapse was protecting him, and maybe it would have if he hadn’t already relapsed, if you could even consider it a relapse, it didn’t even take 48 hours, but that was a personal definition. Maybe if you would have expressed that fear to Elliot maybe he would have tried harder to quit, not wanting you to feel like you had to be afraid all the time, but as far as he knew you had complete trust in him, and he was getting away with his lies. 

Elliot had successfully kept his secret for the next couple of months, and as much as he did cut back on his drug consumption he hadn’t quit, it was still a daily thing for him. Though this time he did keep the promise to himself, he got better at hiding it. Even when you weren’t home, he would only use behind a closed door, so that if you did come home unexpectedly, he would have time to hide the drugs he was using.

During the past couple months, you two would occasionally get into a small fight, but what couple didn’t? They were never anything to bad, usually about something small that you would both get over in an hour or two, but this fight was different, you hadn’t caught Elliot crushing up a pill, or in the act of snorting a line of drugs, this time you found a stash of random pills, they weren’t exactly sitting out in the open, but they had been placed behind a couple of bottles in your medicine chest. The bag happened to fall out when you took a bottle out.

“Elliot?” you called out, holding the bag of pills in your hand.

“Yeah baby?” Elliot asked, walking around the corner, his eyes automatically going down to your hands and the bag “Look, I can explain” Elliot said immediately, making you shake your head.

“How long?” you asked, looking him in the eyes, making him look away from you as he sighed, putting his hand on the back of his neck.

“It’s just, uh, pills I guess I forgot about” Elliot said, not wanting to tell you he was still using, but also not wanting to lie to you completely because that was the truth at one point.

“A fucking bag of pills that you just happened to forget about? Convenient” you said, putting the bag of pills on the counter “How long Elliot?” you repeated

“Never really quit I guess” he said, “I cut back a lot though” he leaned against the door frame.

“I thought we said no more lies” you told him, walking past him “I thought you said you were going to quit, for real this time”

“I wanted to, its fucking hard” Elliot said, following you, “I don’t like relying on drugs” he told you

“I thought you flushed all the drugs you had?” You asked him

“I thought I did too. I found some a day or two later that I forgot about, I guess. I wanted something to help the withdraws, and I didn’t have the self-control to stop myself I guess.” Elliot explained, sitting down next to you on the couch.

“You could have at least told me. You know I would have helped you. I love you Elliot, but I can’t sit here and let you lie to me like this. I get that it’s hard for you, but it’s hard for me too. I want to forgive you like I have every other time, but I have to draw the line somewhere” you said, starting to feel your eyes tear up, “I feel so stupid every time I find out you’ve been lying to me. I feel like I should be a better girlfriend, that you should be able to come to me about these things, not hide things from me.”

“I was lying because I thought it was protecting you” Elliot said, looking over at you, “I knew that I haven’t been using that much, and I thought I could quit before you found out. I know that’s probably stupid, and I should have been honest with you.” Elliot sighed softly 

“I get it, I’m not saying its ok, but I get your reasoning.” You looked down at your hands as tears started to fall from your eyes. You would never tell Elliot that you doubted him and his sobriety, but that’s why you understood where he was coming from.

Elliot pulled you gently onto his lap, wrapping his arms around you as you cried. Something about being in his arms felt so normal but also so wrong at the same time. You knew you shouldn’t be letting him comfort you, but he was the only one you wanted to comfort you at the same time. Occasionally Elliot would kiss the top of your head gently, to let you know that he was still there for you. Elliot felt horrible for being the reason you were crying, but unlike at the bar a couple months ago, at least he could be the one comforting you.

“I’m sorry, I love you” Elliot was the first to speak after about 15 minutes, barely loud enough for you to hear. 

“I love you too, that’s why this is so hard for me” you told him, letting out a sigh, Elliot wiping some of the tears off your cheeks, before you laid your head on his shoulder. “We shouldn’t be doing this.” You told him.

“What do you mean?” Elliot asked you, even though he could safely assume what you were talking about, but he could hope you were talking about something else.

“This. I shouldn’t be sitting in your lap, letting you comfort me. I should be pissed off at you, yelling at you, leaving again. I am pissed off, but for some reason I can’t be pissed off at you, I’m just pissed off at the situation, I’m pissed off at myself for not noticing” you said

Elliot shook his head “Don’t be pissed off at yourself, it’s not your fault, none of this is your fault. If you are going to be pissed off at anyone you should be pissed off at me, I deserve it. You don’t” Elliot told you, rubbing your back as he talked.

“Elliot. I can’t be pissed off at you for having an addiction. I don’t care what you say. I just want the best for you, I want to help you be the best person that you can be. With me or without me” you ran your fingers through his hair.

“You do. I am a way better person with you then without you I promise. I get it if you want to leave, I wouldn’t blame you.” Elliot said, as much as saying that broke him, he knew that it needed to be said. 

“I don’t want to leave” you said, “What happens if I leave and we never see each other again, what if we don’t get back together, what if you find someone better than me. You’ve been my best friend for the past 4 years, and we’ve been dating for almost 3 years. I don’t want to lose you.” Elliot sighed, wiping more tears that have fallen from your eyes as you talked.

“Then don’t leave” Elliot said, “I can’t imagine my life without you. Even though I’d never want to be just friends with you, we will always be best friends no matter what, we’ve been through to much together to lose each other completely.” 

“But I don’t think I should stay, I think its best if I leave. At least for a little bit. We need time apart, to focus on ourselves for a little bit” you said, making Elliot nod slightly.

“I love you. I always will” Elliot told you, kissing your head again before you sat up, looking at him.

“I love you too” you leaned forward, pressing your lips together softly before pulling away “I’ll always be here for you, forever. Promise me you’ll let me know if you need anything?” You asked, removing your hand from his hair.

“As long as you promise me the same thing.” Elliot said, smiling softly at you, making you nod.

“Of course, just don’t ignore my texts for the next 2 weeks this time, I need to know you’re okay” You responded, Elliot nodding this time.

 “Can I give you something before you go?”  Elliot asked, making you look at him confused, but you nodded. Elliot’s hands went to your hips, guiding you off his lap, “I’ll be right back” you nodded, looking down at your hands after you watched him walk into what used to be your shared bedroom. 

A few minutes later Elliot came back into the living room, holding a small jewelry box, you recognized it from the night after the bar a couple months ago. Elliot walked back over to the couch, sitting down next to you, opening the box, and taking the ring out to show you, as soon as you looked at it you felt yourself start crying again.

“Uh, it’s an engagement ring” Elliot told you “Well, I guess it was an engagement ring, now it’s just a ring, but I still want you to have it.” You looked up at him

“Why? I mean I love it, thank you, but why do you still want me to have it?” You asked

“I know it’s the ring you’ve always wanted, you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to, but I got it custom made from pictures I’ve seen you look at. I’ve had it for a while, but I always got too scared to ask you to marry me. I’ve had it planned so many times, but I’ve always backed out” Elliot said, laughing softly “I wanted everything to be perfect, so if anything would even slightly go wrong, I’d back out. Every time we’ve gone to the beach, every date we’ve been on, I was even going to try and surprise you on our 2 and a half year anniversary, since I knew you were going to surprise me, I thought I’d try to surprise you instead” Elliot paused

“I was going to propose on our 3rd anniversary, I thought almost 8 months of planning different things I should just do it, because even if everything went according to plan, it still wouldn’t have been good enough for you in my opinion. I was going to surprise you with a weekend trip to the beach, set up a picnic, kind of like our first date, but more romantic, I don’t know why I planned our first date at a park, that’s so cheesy.” Elliot laughed softly again, making you laugh with him.

“And proposing at the beach isn’t?” You teased “But I’ve always liked cheesy romantic shit” you told him

“I know that that’s why I planned it like that, but I could have done something more unique for our first date at least” 

“Well, I loved our first date.” You smiled “You can put the ring on if you want to” you said quietly, Elliot nodding, slipping the ring onto your finger, “I love it Elliot, and I mean that, it’s perfect” you said, making Elliot smile.

“I’m glad you like it. I was nervous you’d hate it” he laughed softly.

“I’d never hate anything you got me” you said as he handed you the ring box.

“The answer would have been yes. Just so you know. The answer would have been yes, no matter how you proposed, I always saw myself spending the rest of my life with you, and I still do, whatever our relationship will be” You told him, looking into his eyes.

“I see you in my life forever, however we make that happen” Elliot smiled softly at you. You looked over at the clock, sighing softly, seeing that it was almost 4am.

“I should probably leave, its late, I’ll come get my stuff tomorrow” you told him.

“Do you have a place to stay?” Elliot asked, his eyes following you as you stood up.

“I’ll be okay Elliot, ill figure it out” you told him, he reached up to grab your wrist

“Stay here, I don’t want you out this late alone, what if any of your friends aren’t awake still?” Elliot said, making you think for a minute before nodding.

“I’ll stay for one night” you told him, “Don’t sleep on the couch though, come lay with me?” you asked, this time making Elliot hesitate this time 

“Wont it be weird?” He asked, making you shake your head.

“Not unless we make it weird” you told him.

Elliot nodding and standing up, following you to the bedroom, both of you getting ready for bed before getting under the blankets together, his arm automatically going over your waist for a second.

“Sorry, habit I guess” He apologized, moving his arm, you turned towards him.

“It’s ok, I didn’t mind” you told him, Elliot gently resting his arm back on your waist, you eventually laying your head on his shoulder, focusing on the feeling of the new ring on your finger, you didn’t take it off while you were getting ready for bed.

“I’ll always love you” Elliot told you quietly

“I’ll always love you too” You whispered back, both of you falling asleep slowly.

Even if it was just for that one more night, you two could both pretend that you were still together, that you were engaged, that one day you’d get married, Elliot letting you plan the wedding that you’ve always wanted, both of your friends and family attending. That maybe one day you two would move out of your town, maybe to a bigger city so Elliot could pursue music, something he always talked about taking seriously one day. You could pretend that you would eventually have kids, thinking about who they would look more like, or if they would be an even mix between you too. You would always hope they’d have Elliot’s eyes though, that was your favorite feature of his. 

You could pretend that Elliot had gotten sober, that tonight never happened and that you weren’t going to have to leave when you woke up. That you would wake up tomorrow and that you would end up making breakfast together, spending all day together, but you knew when you woke up that none of that would happen.

You hoped that you two would still talk after tomorrow, that eventually the conversations between you and Elliot wouldn’t get farther apart every time. That no matter what you two would be able to rely on each other. You hoped that you would both keep fighting for each other, maybe even one day get back together, and have the future you both were imagining right now. Maybe people were right when they said high school relationships didn’t last, but you hoped that your relationship was different.

No matter what happened you both knew that the last 4 years were the happiest years of your lives, even more so the last 3, even with all the shit you went through, the fights you had, and even the time you left your apartment. You wouldn’t change anything because you knew if you did you wouldn’t have Elliot in your life.