#insomnia hours aaaaa

[badartxd]

I’m going to leave some doodles here, starting with Barric with a fancy earring for grubby liddol bastid (Cam?) on the Zevraholics discord :D first time I did Varric and he was fun to draw

[madschiavelique]

hi can we get some fluff drabble with girl reader + miguel where he finds himself unexpectedly enjoying being a small spoon but rather die than accept it. if you want you can turn it into a soft smut where he is a whimpering mess because she jerks him off from behind while massaging his chest and leaving small kisses across his neck and back

THIS IS ADORABLE ANON AAAAA

i loved writing this (i might relate a bit too much to miguel in some paragraphs of this fvdsbjsqdhfds)

summary : miguel enjoys being a little spoon (not proofread)

content warnings : fluff at the beginning that turns into SMUT (18+) minors dni, handjob, praise, miguel is so horny for your touch omg, no use of y/n, fem!reader word count : 1,6k

tag list : @fandom-ash

As on many evenings, Miguel had come home late. His professional commitments meant that your life and his could sometimes be out of sync. He was exhausted, and gently laid down on the bed without waking you, lying beside you and kissing your forehead.

He laid down against you, acting like the big spoon as he drew you closer to him in his embrace. Coming back to his flats every evening and finding you there, in bed, all peaceful, was the ray of sunshine that caressed his heart after his day. He closed his eyes, surrendering against you as he drifted off to sleep.

It was only a few hours later that he woke up, his eyes had opened on their own and he had no idea why. Perhaps he was having insomnia? That would be the crowning glory of his exhausting day. Even in his sleep, didn't he deserve a little respite?

Then he wondered if perhaps this awakening was due to his Spidersenses being alerted by something. And that's when he felt it, that pressure against his back, the sensation of something around his waist.

You were pressed against his bare back, your steady, even breath landing tenderly on the back of his neck as your hand rested on his stomach, close to his navel.

He was almost tense, completely alienated by this kind of intimacy, but he was slowly trying to relax, to simply enjoy the feel of your body pressed against his.

He was used to being the one who was the big spoon, the one who protected, who formed a shell of his whole body to protect those he loved. He'd already lost so much, so he couldn't afford to lose you, and that translated into many actions, which of course included being the big spoon.

And the back is a sign of vulnerability. Showing someone your back was proof that you trusted them enough to let them have free rein without fearing that you'd be stabbed in the back.

But he felt so... good, he felt safe, like this, in your gentle arms. In fact, he felt that he could be vulnerable, and that little feeling that he could never admit aloud was starting to grow stronger and stronger in his veins:

It felt like he was taken care of, and he liked it.

Why was it so hard for him to admit that he liked, no, wanted to be taken care of? He was always the one who took care of others, not the other way round, but he couldn't help sighing softly. He was comforted by the touch of your skin against his, by your unconscious embrace of him.

You shifted gently in your sleep, your hand accidentally touching a little lower than his navel, on his groin, just a few centimetres away. His breath became a little shakier, the sensation making him quiver and boil at the same time.

You breathed in deep suddenly, as all sleepy people do from time to time, and what he felt gave him the impression of melting: as you breathed out, he felt your breasts pressing against his back.

Now it was going to be difficult to keep his composure. Every breath you took let him feel your breasts on his back, even if they were covered. He swallowed, trying to concentrate on not...

But it was too late, he was starting to feel himself getting hard, his erection rising little by little.

He mentally insulted himself as your hand, with every breath you took, constantly brushed against his skin. Shit, he was getting way too horny. Your breath on his neck, the feel of your body against his, his hand so close and yet so far away.

He let out a little moan as your head moved close to the back of his neck. He had to do something, move perhaps, get out of the embrace, but he didn't want to move away from this sweetness that was being given to him.

He moved a little, just to get your hand away from him and save him from further torment.

"Babe?" your slightly sleepy voice froze him in place, "are you all right?"

Damn, with all his emotions he'd woken you up.

"Nothing's wrong nena, go back to sleep," he whispered, his breath coming in fairly ragged gasps all the same, trying to relax and breathe normally.

You moved slightly, raising yourself gently and accidentally letting your hand rest a little more against his skin, the sudden change from brushing against his lower belly to touching it immediately drew a groan from his throat.

You frowned, waking up a little more.

"Are you sure you're okay ? You seem all so tense..." you asked as you straightened your face until your lips brushed his jaw.

His breath trembled, his back arching.

"Mhm, everything's alright," he said, trying to contain himself even though the urge was growing, "go back to-"

"Miguel," you asked simply, your tone astonished, "are you... hard?"

He bit his lip, his nose wrinkling as he tried to concentrate. But all the sensations you were giving him were preventing him from staying still. He felt almost guilty that he couldn't contain himself, that he was simply being aroused by the mere gesture of you hugging him from the back.

"It's okay," he swallowed, softly, "go back to sleep, it's fine."

He didn't want to disturb you, and he felt guilty that just by you spooning him you'd managed to turn him on.

"You had wet dreams?" you murmured softly, starting to feel more and more awake and aware of the situation.

If only that was all it was, but no, it was completely and utterly you. Your simple touch, your breath, your body, everything.

He hesitated, was admitting that the reason he was horny had simply been the fact that he was the little spoon? Or was he going to make up a trifle? He couldn't even admit to himself that he was immensely affected by your embrace, without it even becoming erotic.

You gently kissed the corner of his jaw, pressing yourself against him.

"What is it," you said, your breath catching on his cheek as he sighed, "hmm?

Your hand drifted down to his erection at last, caressing him with your fingertips, his back arching as he let out a sigh of relief.

"You're so hard..." you remarked softly, whispering against his ear as you placed little pecks on the back of his neck, "I wonder what got you so turned on..."

If only you knew... Your fingers skimmed the length of it, letting the fingertips run down to his balls, caressing them gently. Miguel breathed in deeply, his lips parted.

Your fingers wrapped around him, snaking around his head, letting your thumb make circular movements as the little drops of pre-cum glistened on his tip.

"Would you look at that, so horny..." you mumbled as your other hand slid down his back, tracing the line of his spine as you kissed his shoulder blades.

He let himself be touched, the sensation of your hand slowly and softly pumping his cock as you let your lips and fingers travel up and down his back felt so good it was like he was dreaming.

The warmth of your body, your voice, your presence alone and everything you brought him completed his sensations until they took him to paradise.

You were taking care of him, and he loved it.

He swallowed, the moans multiplying in his voice as you kissed his back.

Your hand took on a slightly faster rhythm, putting slightly more pressure into your stroking when coming back up his head, spending more time just underneath his crown tracing sinuous patterns, his voice trembling as you twisted your wrist while jerking him off.

"Does that feel good?" you asked, kissing his ear, nipping lightly at his lobe as a dark growl rose from his throat.

All those kisses, all those touches, he wouldn't last long.

"Mhm," he nodded, his voice quavering, "increíble, nena."

His hips began to move of their own accord, one of his hands coming to rest on your hip to pull you closer to him. He wanted to eliminate any space that separated his back from your torso, intoxicated by the physical sensations, the exceptional feeling he had in his lower back.

Your kisses were tender, your words sweet, your hand taking him perfectly and touching him wonderfully in all the right places. He felt himself melting under your touch, the friction you were giving him so perfect that he could already feel himself coming.

"So good, muñeca," he breathed, his hips accelerating, his pelvis undulating to fuck your hand, "so good..."

His breath quickened, and with a loud groan, he came, spurting over your hand. His hips jerked as you gently slowed the pace, tenderly caressing his hard skin as you kissed his neck, murmuring tender words.

He turned to lie on his back, watching you. He came over to kiss you, almost as a thank you, but mainly because you'd just given him such wonderful sensations.

You brought your hand to your lips, licking them gently.

"I wonder what made you so hard," you said in a murmur, coming back to place your head on his torso.

You had eventually understood the reason for his arousal and globally his delight, and from then on, as soon as you were both in bed, you would take him in your arms like a good little spoon against you. Because he had shown you how vulnerable he was, and because he too had the right to know that there was someone there who cared about him and would protect him at all costs.

[diaryujin]

𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝟐𝟒

summary: yang jungwon preferred to keep to himself and his best friend, sunghoon, not really interacting with anyone else. he wrote about his life in his diary, and recently, he's been writing more about a certain newcomer into his small, troubled world. jang y/n.

includes: heavy angst, abuse, heavy drinking, mobbing (kinda), mentions of insomnia, overworking, starvation etc., major character death, divorce, jw is a raging bisexual and a skz ult, lmk if i missed anything, written in 5-6 hours so obvi rushed-

pairing: high school! jungwon x high school! fem! reader

status: hiatus

Dear Diary,

I told her.

About the thingamabob in the hallway.

Not my feelings.

I lost the confidence to do that.

She was actually super chill about it. She said that she understood why I did it, and that the kiss wasn’t bad. In fact, she called me a good kisser.

HOLY SHIT SHE FR CALLED ME THAT I TELL YOU SHE CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE AAAAA

I’m just getting more signs that she likes me back. I couldn’t tell her today since I didn’t find the setting appropriate enough.

I’ll do it tomorrow, I promise.

In our classroom after everyone else leaves, I’ll tell her. I’ll put an end to my complaining.

-Yang Jungwon

Taglist (send an ask to be added!): @nwjws

previous masterlist next

[mister-snake]

Going to sleep at 4 when everybody else is asleep is one thing. Work overload, insomnia, addiction, destroyed sleep schedule, I get it, like I can deal with it. I can survive with my shit mental health and unhealthy lifestyle and accept my miserable life lmao.

But why the fuck do I still have to wake up before everybody else does, the "normal/gifted" people. That feels SO UNFAIR LIKE AAAAA. It is currently 5:29 and that's about as far as my sleep lasts. I'm so fucking pissed at my body for being made this way, why can't it be understanding and sleep enough for me to have more than 1 little hour of sleep. Arghhhh.

People don't realise how lucky they are to actually be able to compensate their sleep deprivation with naps and shit. I want this. I need this. Fml.

[dsireland86]

I second all of this. I'm a mom of 4 kids all in different schools to which i have to provide transportation to and from, a military wife, and 15 hrs away from my family in Virginia and West Virginia all the while dealing with severe anxiety and depression that’s linked to my adhd. My husband is gone aaaaa lot for work, so I never get a break, time off, sick days, or anything. My me time is at night, which thankfully, I struggle with insomnia (don't think that's something I should be grateful for lol) so luckily I get to have that me time in which I write my stories. My life runs on 4.5 hours of sleep because mental health just doesn't agree with me. With all that being said, I get Noah's burnout. I get his exhaustion from the constant going and going, lack of sleep, different time zones, and just trying to keep his head above water. Bless him.... I honestly don't know how he managed as long as he did. I'm so grateful to see so much love and support for him and the whole crew on here. I'm in a fb group, and there are so many critically rude, arrogant people on it and it just breaks my heart knowing people think it's acceptable to say the things they say. It's sad.

I don’t want to see one ounce of drama from this. Bad Omens deserve to take the rest of the year off. This isn’t babying or white knighting, it’s the fact that Bad Omens have been working non stop the last few years and their health(mental and physical) always comes first. No matter what.

If you don’t like it, you can block me.

[coffeenomore]

i got a day without social medias and it was great!!

***

i went to the coffeeshop: it’s near from my apartment (~40 on foot haha it’s near for me yeah);

listened the Zombies' album (it’s one of the best album on my own) «odessey & oracle» by the way to coffeeshop. if you haven’t listened it, you should;

saw very cute dogs and people skiing!! ;

got a hario v60 with kenya (the coffeeshop have their own roasting): in a bouquet of bourbon flavor, very dense body, my favorite taste;

wrote lectures for study for 3 hours;

THERE WERE COLDPLAY AND THE BEATLES SONG AAAAAA. the most funny thing i wrote a conspectus on criminal law and background was like «all you need is loooove dududu»;

made a list of plans for next weekend without social medias. you’ll get them maybe haha;

made a playlist for 14th of february. im a single lady all my life but i enjoy st. valentin’s day. every day is better with music, you know;

bought some stuff for study (so expensive aaaaa);

turns out i squeeze my hand so hard when i write that my knuckles hurt after a while;

cleaned my room. this fact is amazing because i had not power and time for that, but here we go! ;

took photos during the day and deleted some old photos. i had 20000 photos in the photo roll, i really NEED do the cleaning there (now there’re 18000);

started listening of one nice sovet artist’s audio solo performance of «hamlet». 1/2 is done. hamlet is kinda emo boy, you know hahaha sorry;

went to bed earlier, but woke up too early.. now it's 4 am and i don’t want to sleep anymore. i have insomnia issues maybe this is it. i’ll finish this post and just going to lay down until the ring of alarm;

i think it was really good idea to spend a day-off like that, i want to do it in the future too. the main reason for my decision was pain in the eyes. i see the screen almost all day and we all know that it is not very nice whether we're having fun or working. and of course social media free day has a beneficial effect on productivity, everyday life, mental health, cultural development.. and the feeling of life at all of course.

stay healthy, my readers, have a good work week

[strifesolution]

For that ask thingy- Parvill and 1?

back to soft hours

1 - How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

This is a cute one!! Strife’s a huge night owl and usually works late bc of insomnia, Parv isn’t necessarily an early sleeper but just kinda passes out easily, so often he’ll curl up around strife while he’s on his laptop or just reading :> naturally parv wakes up earlier but strife forces him self to get up early bc of work (he’d love to sleep in tho he just refuses to) n strife’s def a coffee drinker! Parv has to help him cut down on caffeine at some point

in general they’re big like... work together in comfortable silence? Or even go off and do their own thing and meet up later. dinners important to them tho, not every meal is at a dinning table or anything but they usually try to at least eat together c:

SENND MORE OF THESE THE ORIGINAL MEME IS A FEW POSTS DOWN AAAAA

[txtdiaries]

hello! just wanted to check in and ask how youve been doing. make sure you get enough sleep and drinking lots of water. love you ;*

hi! tbh life is rough atm. my anxiety / panic attacks are worse than they used to be which makes it harder to leave my apartment than its ever been. I have an immediate family member in the hospital which is also stressful. it’s midterms so school is also very stressful. my ed is inching its way into my life again.... lol. can’t look at myself in a mirror anymore. yh. not a fun time! lol. thanku for checking in tho <3 I'll try to sleep but like I said having anxiety is a bitch as is having insomnia (this whole WEEK I got maybe like a collective 12 hours) . aaaaa. love u more.

[rians--world]

Can you send more kevaaron hc?? i love them ♥

aaaaa!! ok let’s see what i’ve got,

so we got the Roommate Crew tm of nicky, matt, and aaron, and that dorm is where kev and aaron spend most of their off time together

they study together, aaron being a devoted med student and kev’s just a big fucking nerd 

watch chopped, jeopardy (kevin), and maury, forensic files (aaron)

BOARD GAMES, okay these kids are nerds! they love board games! and it gets heated! they get in all-out fights over monopoly and don't talk for days! (all in good fun), b.s. is their card game! passive aggressive bullshit and calling each other out? i think so! 

kevins a health freak so he eats fucking grass only, but even with aaron being a med student and knowing quite well what the fuck he’s doing to his body, he eats, like shit,, its a fucking fight for kevin to get aaron to eat well, like not andrew proportions but STILL, they compromise on smoothies and aaron puts like a shit ton of bananas and cinnamon in them to mask the protein powder flavor 

they both have shit sleeping schedules, kevin just can't sleep a lot of the time (because even with andrew and neil in the room and the years he's spent away from the nest, sleeping alone is still hard for him) and when he does conk out he is Out. his body regulates to his schedule so he wakes up at around the same time usually unless he just, doesn't, sleep until like an hour before he needs to get up. then he sleeps through his alarm

aaron has insomnia and doesn't sleep on the regular. he usually spends most of that time studying/ reading/ playing video games/ etc.

sometimes they meet up and do late late night practice together, just because they both know the other is up and they might as well spend time together/ practice. 

aaron steals Every Last One of kevins sweaters. All Of Them. like he just walks into kandreil’s dorm and grabs shit from kevins drawers, kevin doesn't give a shit, he thinks it's fucking adorable that his clothes swallow aaron whole. he looks like a baby! swaddled in an expensive ass cashmere sweater. the only article of aarons clothes that kevin can does steal, are his socks because aaron collects socks, like actually collects them. has a drawer dedicated to his extensive array of novelty socks!

SOCKS! it all started when they were first taken in by nicky, nick just got them socks for gifts and stuff because he didnt know them at first and aaron love and saved them all. nicky still gets him a pair every time he sees cool ones at the store. im SOFT

anyway i think thats all i have for now,, but !!! im so glad sent me an ask yo! feel free to add on or come rant at me about these kids im always down 💞✨

[viptrash]

Well, I was tagged by @poeticallyspaghetti to answer 21 questions and tag 21 people

1. Nickname: I don’t have many nicknames honestly, most people just call me by my actual name. Although when I don’t like giving my name out, I default to Jay. My mom also calls me chirris, pingüino, and a bunch of other things in Spanish I have no idea how to spell lmao.

2. Zodiac sign: Pisces! (Pisces sun, Scorpio moon, and capricorn rising if anyone interested lmao)

3. Height: I don’t know exactly but it’s around 5’2”/5’3”

4. Hogwarts house: HUFFLEPUFF!!!!! Ppl bash on hufflepuff so much but I’ll bash their faces in if they talk shit about my house to my face :)

5. Last thing I googled: the lyrics to She’s in the Rain by the Rose, I like writing lyrics down in my notebook, sue me

6. Favorite artists: BTS, Monsta X, The Rose, 5 Seconds of Summer, Panic! At the Disco, Fall Out Boy, and im starting to get into Ateez and Chung Ha. I’m also kinda into Twenty One pilots but I’m not a huge fan lmao

7. Song stuck in my head: Well it’s an English medley of all the songs from Your Lie in April by Amanda Lee. If you’re into anime and you’re interested in English covers, check out her YouTube channel-it’s AmaLee. I love her songs and I’m a huge fan of Synchronicity and her SAO covers.

8. Favorite time of day: aaaaa I’d say sunset. It’s just so pretty, and every day it’s a different sight to see. Like some of them are similar but the variety of colors that can appear is so beautiful. And golden hour is gorgeous, even if I do get blinded by the sun lmao

9. Favorite color: pink! 🌸 specifically baby pink, it’s just such a soft and pretty color I love it so much

10. Following: 174 (wow I need to unfollow some people)

11. Followers: 33 (I love y’all :) thx for following this dumbass lmao)

12. Do I get asks: rarely! I do want more though so don’t be shy and send some in if you want!

13. Amount of sleep: I like to sleep a lot, which is weird bc I’m also a night owl. I also get REALLY cranky without enough sleep, and I can fall asleep just about anywhere if I’m tired enough honestly lmao. If I’m on a road trip (not driving) I’ll nod off easily just because long car rides put me to sleep strangely

14. Favorite number: 26, 2, or 6! All of them related to my birthday lmao

15. Why is there no number 15: one of these other numbers murdered number 15, now we need to solve this murder mystery. I’m looking at you, number 9 👀 number 3 is also a suspect.

16. Dream job: honestly. I’m still trying to figure this one out myself. My only real goal in life is to be as happy as I possibly can, so I don’t really mind what I do. My uncles putting a lot of pressure on me to become a pilot tho ���

17. Instruments: i used to be in band in middle school, I played the flute, I wish I could play the piano though. I also took choir through the entirety of high school, so does my voice count?? (Nope probs not)

18. Language: Primarily English, but I grew up speaking both English and Spanish. As I got into my teenage years I quit speaking spanish so I lost a lot of it. I’m picking it back up though, I’m pretty fluent, I’m just missing a few words and grammatical stuff.

19. Favorite songs: oooooooooo ok by MX: Lost in the Dream, Myself, Alligator, and Ghost. BTS: Crystal Snow, Best of Me, Euphoria, Home, and Dionysus. By The Rose it’s California, She’s in the Rain, Insomnia, and Candy. 5sos: Youngblood, If Walls Could Talk. P!atd: Saturday Night, The End of All Things. Fob: Heaven’s Gate, Fourth of July, Death Valley.

20. A random fact: I can’t say “existential.” like if I focus on pronouncing it properly then yes but if I’m rambling like I normally do it usually comes out as “ex-shti-shten-shial” idk why, but it’s just the weird sound my mouth makes.

21. Aesthetic: eh i don’t really know how to describe it. I wanna say pink and soft and glittery (shimmery more like) but I’ll ask some of my irl friends and see what they have to say. I’ll come back to this one

Lastly, the tags! I’ve never been one for tagging people, so if anyone wants to do it, feel free to say I tagged you!

Thanks for coming to my ted talk lmao

[timothytodd]

AAAAA

my brain rn tbh

So in the past three days I’ve slept maybe 6-7 hours total 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️☠️💀

My insomnia is peaking and I’ve stayed up the first two with three hours of sleep and maybe got 4 at the most last night so WEEEEE GUESS WHOS ALIVE SOLELY THANKS TO COFFEE AND SUGAR

[presidentbttrflyfreak]

healing through letting go // thomas brodie sangster

aaaaa the 2nd requested oneshot is here!! i just finished reading tmr series a few weeks ago so my emotions n pain are incredibly raw. thank you for the anon who requested this! this one is based on prompt #1 and #6 of this list (they will be in bold). don’t forget to give me some love, reblog & like to break other’s hearts too!

Warnings: tears and hEARTbreak

Word count: 2.3k 

When you arrived at his apartment, Thomas was leaning by the handrail, taking a drag. You looked at him, recognizing his matted blonde hair, arched spine and tensed arms. He should’ve been asleep by this time in the morning, yet it wasn’t much of a surprise also. You knew that he always has something on his mind, and you added to that.

However, you also had several things running around your head, knocking on your heart. As usual, tonight was another sleepless night. You laid on your bed, same thoughts as last night’s passing by your head. It’s been a couple months like this. Rest was rare, work was more than a handful and like sleep, Thomas was also barely around. You both agreed on making this last, and you both believed you could make it work. But looking at where you two are now, things haven’t gone the way you both planned it to be.

Pulling your coat around yourself tighter, you took quick steps towards him. 7 Eleven was open and you thanked God for that, allowing you to get some snacks for him and you too. Your steps must have been soundless, considering Thomas still had his eyes close, unmoving. It was about 3 am, and the breeze was colder than you expected. A cold wind blew and it disheveled Thomas’ hair even more. You caught a glimpse of his ears, seemingly cold because of its reddish tinge. He finally retreated and turned his body to the side and took another drag.

Your eyes met with his then. Your heart wrenched at the sight of them. Deeply brown and moist as if he was tearing up. His eyes always seemed like that. There were times he’d be incredibly happy and yet there was this lingering look of sadness and exhaustion in his eyes. You smiled at him as you tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. Thomas’ eyes had widened a bit but he gave you his signature grin like he was thinking ‘couldn’t sleep too?’.

“I bought some chips and sodas cause I totally knew you’d be awake by this hour.” You said, leaning on the handrail too. Thomas ran his hands through his hair then twisted his body so he would be facing you too. “Yeah, totally.” His voice was rough and raspy, proving that he probably woke up in the middle of the night from slumber.’

His hand holding the cigarette was propped on the handrail, right beside you. The smoke was lifting and so was its reeking scent. Thomas knew you didn’t like the smell of smoke. You were okay with him smoking, but he was careful never to do it in front of you. Which is why you’re shocked he hasn’t thrown the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it yet.

It was a dark and cold night. The only light brightening the place was the dim street posts. Somehow, you knew that you were one of the reasons for his waking. Thomas looked at you like he was trying to memorize you and how you looked in his head. He reached for your hand and held it tight. He rubbed it, caressing it with care. You tried to hold his gaze too, but the reek was choking you. You hadn’t inhaled smoke in a long time and you utterly despised having to smell it again from Thomas. Thomas was still looking at you in silence, an unreadable look resting on his face.

You only squeezed back to let go of his hand. Choking and coughing slightly, you couldn’t take it anymore. “Thomas, it reeks, please.”

He immediately withdrew, like he just remembered right now. “O, dear god, I’m sorry. I-I just, I’m sorry, love.” He trampled on the cigarette in panic and guilt. When he finished, he hastily wiped his palms on his sweatpants.

You held your arms open. “C'mere.”

You could see that he really regretted having done that. Thomas really understood how you intensely detested the smell and he incredibly loves you so much and made sure never to cross his boundaries. He came close and you pulled him in tight. Burying his head on the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry. I extremely hate myself now that I have broken rule number 3, never smoke in front of the beautiful lady,” He mumbled. “I got caught in a daze and forgot.”

Your heart crumpled. Had you two been this distant towards each other? Thomas just arrived in your hometown a few weeks ago. He was flying one sky to another continuously while you chose to settle here, and love him from afar. Well, you two thought you could.

You released him and touched the side of his face. “It’s alright,” you replied. You wanted to badly dismiss the incident knowing that he’ll forever look back at it and blame himself. “You up for a ‘stroll and gobble’?” You asked, holding up the plastic bag full of food and drinks.

His eyes crinkled as he chuckled. “Of course. Because 3:30 in the morning is a wonderful time to be alive.” He entered his apartment and swiftly grabbed his coat from the hook rack and shut the door behind him. Thomas took your hand in his and led you down the stairs. His hand was warm despite the weather, it warmed yours lovingly.

Your steps were synchronized as you two trudged towards the nearby park. The trees were brushing against each other loudly as the breeze blew strongly. Thomas wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer.

“Why are you up this late? You need the sleep and rest, you know.” You said, looking up to his eyes. Thomas’ nose was turning a bit red you couldn’t help but notice it. You hadn’t seen his face in so long. He was constantly sleeping through the afternoon since he arrived. Jet lag truly took its toll on him. You would be over at his place and just watch him sleep and clean the place a bit for him. Often, you would join him and just cuddle. You tried to spend more time with him every day to make up for the moths you didn’t. His career had both its pros and cons, both in terms of income and health. And in terms of relationships.

He led you towards a bench. Both of you sat down and you brought out the content of the plastic bag, offering him a sandwich. “I should be the one asking you that. Why are you still awake? Don’t you have work tomorrow?” He asked before taking a bite from the sandwich.

You took a sip of the tea. “Well, seems like I’ll be working tomorrow without a wink of sleep.” You took a can of iced coffee from the bag and offered it to him. “Your favorite.”

Thomas only looked at the can at first. He then heaved a sigh and took the can from my hand and set it down on the ground, beside his feet. You sent him a confused look.

He wiped the mayonnaise off his lips with a tissue and licked his lips. “The doc prohibits me from drinking coffee now,” he muttered. “I experienced a few attacks of irregular heartbeats and increased heartbeats back in Korea. It’s been a few months now and my insomnia’s going away a bit since I refrained from drinking coffee.”

You couldn’t help but feel upset. You already worried enough about him being away and the jet lag that came with it. But now this? You pursed your lips. “Why didn’t you tell me? One ring and you have my ears. You know that.” Concern filled the tone of your voice.

Thomas nodded. “Yeah, of course, I know that. I just didn’t want to burden you more. All I did since I left for Death Cure was think about coming back and spending time with you and the family. I decided to focus on what coming back would bring rather than my current situation back in Korea. I’m sorry, love.” He looked up to you from the strands of his bangs.

The thoughts that have been running through your head for the past few months came back. Right at that moment, you decided to pull the string that would unravel the truth. “And what have we been able to do since you came back, Thomas?”

You heard Thomas’ breath hitch. Apparently, you were both awake thinking about each other yet you both slept on the truth that was right beneath your noses. “What happened to those plans, Thomas?” I prodded.

He leaned back and took a deep breath. “Not now, please. I don’t feel like talking about it.” You glanced at him and saw his eyes were closed. His chest was rising and falling quickly.

You gripped on your tea tighter. “We can’t avoid the subject forever, Thomas.” You stated and heaved a heavy breath. A few seconds pass before you continued. “We both believed we could make it work, Tom. And we really tried. You called, I answered. I called, you answered. But as more months passed, the situation changed. You rarely called yet I always answered when you did. I called, voicemail answered.”

Thomas stayed silent. You took this as an incentive to continue. “I know how much you love your job, your career and the people you work with. I see the way your eyes light up in the pictures you send me where you’re with your co-actors on premieres.”

“I have the same light in my eyes whenever I’m with you.” He finally decided to reply.

You understood because it was true. Thomas was genuinely happy with you. But the few months you spent together before he had to leave was not enough to fuel the longer months you two would spend apart. “I saw that, Tommy. I loved how I made you happy. And you really made me happy, more than any other I’ve been with. But as you roam the world, I’m left here to watch you fulfill your dreams as I slowly work for mine. We’re missing so much on each other’s lives, Tommy.”

Thomas was sniffling silently. You knew you hit the spot. He was the most vulnerable now. “You can’t possibly be implying that, right? It’s too early. Make yourself clearer.” He was looking at you know and he held both of your hands in his. His eyes were tearing up now and a tear slid down his cheek.

Yours came like waterfalls. “You saying it’s too early means you expected this, Thomas. You knew this happening was a 'when’, not an 'if’.” You were sobbing now, doing your best to hold it in as long as you can. “What I mean is, I’m going to stop watering a dead flower, expecting it to grow again.” You croaked, voice breaking and shoulders shaking. Thomas’ grip on your hands tightened after hearing those words.

“Dear, no. Help me, o Lord I can’t do this–” His heart was breaking and yours was too. But both of your hearts were already cracking since the day you both separated. This was just the final straw.

“It’s over, this is over.” You finally said

Thomas suddenly pulled you in a tight embrace, hearing his unsteady and shaky breaths ride beside your ear. His fingers curled around your hair and you couldn’t help but bury your head in his chest. ”This can’t possibly be happening,“ Tommy whispered through his sobs.

You clutched onto him, inhaling his scent. Cigarettes and perfume, but your Thomas all the same. "You’re home is a suitcase, Tom. And I’m afraid I was once home for you but not anymore.” Thomas’ cries louder and he hugs you even tighter. You held onto your lover and relished it for the last time. Time passed quickly and you expected the sun to rise soon.

Thomas released you and cupped your face. He looked deep into your eyes for a few seconds. His gaze broke and pulled you in again. “O dear god, I can’t afford to lose my girl, my love.” He once again buried his face in your neck. Tears were drenching your shirt and you were drenching his too.

You lifted your face up and brought it to his neck. You planted a soft kiss on his neck and just rested your head there. You were both breaking before already and now broken. The distance was holding you both back. Time was punishing and cruel but you both couldn’t do anything about it. A few seconds passed and you finally retreated from Tommy’s hold. You leaned back on the bench and Tom followed too. You took his hand on yours and squeezed it. You closed your eyes and searched for peace at the moment right there. Thomas then rested his head on your shoulder. Your breaths were now steadying and were staring at the horizon.

“I understand that we both have a lot for development. We can focus on ourselves for a while. But I promise you, love, that when I find my rest and have bettered myself as your man, and if God wills it, I will find your eyes again and see home.” Thomas said.

You both missed a lot on each other’s lives. The lack of communication tore both of you apart. Constant worrying over each other tore both of you apart. You both became mentally and physically unhealthy. Thomas loves his career but ending things between us didn’t mean that he didn’t love me too. We’re allowing time pass by as we grow in our own ways.

You rubbed circles around his palms and breathed in deeply. “Thank you, Thomas. For understanding and everything. Thank you for letting me go.”

And so you two watched the sunrise. You smiled sadly at the fact the first time you see the sunrise together on the same side of the world is the last time you probably will too.

reblog and like! hmu if u want someone to rant to about thomas! or if you want to express your opinion on the oneshot ;))

[neo-shitty]

OHH yeah, ive heard of that before! i just wasnt aware that beast is the title 😭 i wanted to try that but its not finish yet sooo :<<

sign yan that a lot really loves your works hehe. good luck dyan! im planning on rereading all your skz works after ng exam week, kasama na yung mga from the event :3 and wow, i need at least a 4-5 hour nap (??) in the afternoon to reach 3 ng umaga 😭

speaking of jujutsu, im on ep 20 na, 4 more left to go. grabe, gandang ganda ako, bakit ngaun ko lang to tinuloy ulit?!?!?1 i want to see more of maki and mai, ang cute nila. i mean, they have like a sibling rivalry going on pero aaaaa ang cute huhu. so, after watching more eps, na realize ko na ang unique ng cursed technique per character. its really cool grabe. PATI OMAY SI TOGE AHHASFHSHFHDSHDFSHFDHFDS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA si toge beh. wala lang haha. yung "stop" ni toge 😶. PLS LNG. I LIKE CURSED SPEECH THE MOST :3 hehe. haha simp aq, charot. pati si todo. lezgo best friend✨ sa tru lngs, man of principles talaga sya. ang lalim ng respeto ko kay todo, damn. and grabe, i though the whole arc would focus talaga dun sa team battle tas bigla sumulpot si mahito beh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 😭 anyways i might read the manga after aaaaaaaaaaaaa pero i also want to watch bsd, d q lam ano uunahin ko :"<<

how s your day? chill day lang ulit ako, wala masyadong ganap 😎

- 👻

HAHAH yay ep 20! things are going really great there na, i remember binging that part in one sitting nalang. zenin siblings talaga!! i hated mai at some point pero nagseselos lang pala siya :(( yeah it is different kada isa. i want to know what my cursed technique would be like e.e

TOGE BEST BOY!!! naiisip q kung jowa ko si toge isang 'sleep' lang i dont have to deal with insomnia anymore. you and i are both simps here~ yeah! my respect for todo skyrocketed there :] UGHHH that part. mahito and the gang nga naman HAHAH kairita. yeah i recommend reading the manga pero mabibitin ka <//3 ikaw lang kung saan ka mas masaya? char HAHA

chill day lang din! i read no longer human today (like the book by the real dazai) mej nagkandaleche emotions ko dun but i'm fine now. if you don't mind me asking, 'di kayo naapektuhan ng bagyo or smth?

[tumblunni]

Aaaaa life update

I now do not know when im gonna be moving to the assisted living mental hospital camp place. It was supposed to be today but then i rescheduled to the 6th cos i was having trouble preparing on short notice and then i had a stupid disaster of running out of my antidepressants and being unable to get my next perscription until 3 days too late. I crashed REAL hard from going straight up cold turkey out of nowhere, i was real fuckin scared of my own damn shadow and unable to sleep and getting huge damn headache and WORRYING SO MUCH I MADE IT ALL WORSE! And now thankfully ive got the pills again but i always get nauseus for the first two days or so after i start taking them and i missed loads of time to prepare cos i was having this freakout and aaaaagh i dont even know!!

I hope i havent missed my chance to go because of this, i mean i wasted like 300 pounds buying suitcases and new clothes and a laptop and all this preparation for being gone for 6 months in an unfamiliar house and just aaaaa! I dont even have anything to drink except water, i friggin threw out a whole freezer full of groceries cos i thought i would be gone by today! And i dont have money to buy more cos i spent it all on preparations and AGH the damn stupid discount laptop still hasnt arrived in the mail and it was such a stupid idea anyway like i know i wont have internet while im there but i just wanted to keep practising my pixelart and writing and such...

Aaaaugh why do i fail everything that i touch

At least i like.. Dont really feel panicked anymore. Im in a weird brain state now, i think the meds are kicking in after an hour so im stabilizing a bit and its just like Man These Things Are Still Bad But I Dont Know How To Feel About It. Like yknow that feeling when youre just.. Confused?? Negative emotion i guess but not any particular type of it. Its like im just generally unsettled and unable to relax but at least im not outright crying anymore. Its so dumb cos i KNOW that theres nothing i can do about it and i just have to wait til i feel better and then contact the therapist again to learn what new time i have to prepare for. (Or if its been cancelled, but i really hope not...) So im all full of pent up panic energy thats syaing DO SOMETHING but i cant. And also im not even panicking anymore and i know the panicking was just a horomonal imbalance from messing up my pill doseage times, rather thsn like my actual feelings and such. But im still stuck in that reactive state even after the irrational feelings have calmed down. Just friggin directionless Something Is Bad Today And I Dont Like It. Stoppppp

Hope i can calm down enough to at least get some sleep soon. I think i migjt be sick for longer than expected cos the insomnia has probably made it all a lot worse! Im gonna sleep for days when i finally settle down

Auauauauuuu

And man i wanna buy an energy drink or something to wake up from my stupor but i know caffeine puts me more on edge when im already in a panic. So im worried ill fall back into the panic state even tho i feel like ive come out of it now? And also might just make my sleeping patterns worse when i finalky manage to pass out.and also its like 3km to the nearest store cos this neighbourhood sucks, and im in no state to hobble down s billion roads all dizzy and sweaty and gross lookin. Also i dont have moneyyyyyy

Auauau prolific.com survey site please refresh with more Things so i can earn 20 pence for looking at bad pics of shoes or whatever. Let me scrape together a bit of spare change from your terrible mess of a site. BAD SHOE COMPANY QUESTIONNAIRES U R THE SAVIOUR OF THE POOR PEOPLE

Ok im just gonna go lie down and feel nebulously worried some more. Maybe think about some dumb kh headcanons to distract myself. Honestly being a Nobody probably feels similar to my PTSD lol. *shakes tiny lil hearts out of a pill bottle*

[itskixlol]

the sexc™ life of kix

EP 3!!!!

starring: nightmares, vacation, insomnia (yet again), school, covid shits, fanfic, anime.

OK STARTING THIS EP OFF VV STRONG nightmare. OF MY MOTHER STABBING MY GRANDMOTHER?????? PEACHY OFC

OMFG I WENT ON VACATION OJSDKHDSKJHDS so yeah fun times also means 13 hours in a car :D IM GLAD I LIKE ROAD TRIPS OR ELSE THAT WOULDVE BEEN H E L L

so what happens when i get back from this vacay :b INSOMNIA BITCH so yeah stan her we love her but can she pay rent bc i need to moola pls im a broke biddie 😔✊

I FINALLY AM GETTING SOME SCHOOLWORK DONE SO PROPS TO MOI (ok but seriously why tf is this making me happy-)

so since i went on a trip to see people :b i have to quarantine but im also gonna quarantine until after im vaccinated soooooo love that

going off the last topiccccc I THINK IM GETTING VACCINATED THIS WEEK AAAAA LOVE THAT FOR ME

omgah kix is actually writing fanfic again?????? this is unheard of??????? alSO im thinking of slowly starting to write for aot bc i love the anime 👀 im pretty sure id start with hange and armin and maybe annie- with clowing reiner ofc then maybe from there go up to eren, jean, and a few others from the 104th- idk yet but im pretty sure thats what would happen-

AGAIN ON ANOTHER NOTE im close to finishing aot s4 bUt i keep putting it off so like :D

more anime shit ofc I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL S E P T E M B E R TO FUCKING CONTINUE MHA MANGA AAAaAAAAAA I WSDKJDSLKJDLSKSDL NOT FAIR

more anime/manga stuffs- ive been wanting to get some more manga bc um y e s so im thinking of tpn or ass class sooooo 👀 IF ANYONE IS WATCHING THIS GO READ SHURIKEN AND PLEATS IT IS SO GOOD OMFG AND THE MC IS HOT AF AND REMINDS ME OF MIKASA

ahEm anywaysssss this ep is getting pretty long so yeah cya guys on the next one

GO EAT A GOOD SNACK AND DRINK WATER

[goldenjudgement]

any headcanons for underrated characters like the fortune-teller frog or others that dont show up that often?

Aaaaa I apologize for such a late response, I’ve been preparing for the next semester of college and have been preoccupied with that. Enough excuses though, lets get right into it

Fortune-Teller Frog

- Snoops into other guest’s futures, however she is very classy about it and doesn’t go starting stuff

- She often gets visits from Catherine, asking her questions about her future love life and to see if she’ll ever settle down, She gets really tired of seeing Catherine every day honestly

- Sometimes she gets together with Gregory’s mom and has afternoon tea, it’s actually a quiet pleasant situation between the two

- Acts like the nicest nana you’ve ever had, like the sweetest old lady you can fathom, she probably gives the kids of the hotel pieces of hard candy or a caramel

Dead Body (Not sure if you consider him a minor character or not)

- Constantly drunk, even if not apparent

- Always ready to get smashed, Gregory is probably his best drinking buddy, and every once and awhile Dr. Fritz may join in

- Never asks a lady to “use her body” the joke being he’s a corpse and needs an actual body but that information may be misconstrued especially by a woman. He would probably be concerned as to why a women was roaming around a graveyard at such an odd hour of the night

Toilet Baby

- Actually a pretty good kid

- Too shy to hang out with the other kids in the hotel

- James likes to harass the hell out of him

Sleepy Sheep

- Sleeps majority of the day away, probably has a screwed up sleep pattern or insomnia 

- Likes it when you read to him

- While he enjoys playing with the other kids of the hotel, he’s often very tired or may even fall asleep during certain activities like hide and seek

Trap Mouse

- Constantly breaks down, but never receives the proper repair mostly due to its violent tendencies

- Along with assisting the Judgement Boys, the Prompters will also assist Trap Mouse with maintenance and repair work if needed

- Since there are multiple Trap Mice, at least according to the wiki, they probably have different personalities and different levels of aggression

- Can go from 0MPH to 100MPH in under a second, this is the best feature when running down your pray

Prompters

- Always scrambling about, either assisting the Judgement Boys or tending to the Trap Mice

- Hard and diligent workers, they are always willing to work on things that need repair around the hotel

- They tend to hang out in the basement or out of sight

Hell’s Taxi

- Always makes light, comfortable and casual conversation to any passengers

- Always yields to pedestrians as well as obeys all the traffic laws, even if its a zone where its 40MPH and everybody else is going 70MPH, Hell’s Taxi will only go 40MPH, it can be a little annoying

- The radio is actually broken and hasn’t worked in quiet a long time

That’s about all I can think of for now, if there is a certain character I did not cover that you want covered, just leave another ask, or feel free to submit your own headcanons, thank you anon.