#insert here the meme of the two cats walking close to each side of a third tiny cat except the central cat is paladin size

[caemidraws]

Night of the Masks

[blueluneacy]

Twisted wonderland asks? *slams table* can i get Malleus x reader, where the reader is able to get their own GaoGao dragon and Malleus is doing the *insert heavy breathing* meme and lowkey freaking out cuz they can be friends and also lowkey falls for the reader even more for being wholesome af?

I love your excitement, haha

Malleus definitely is the oblivious type to me! Everyone makes him as big bad, but honestly I see him as super stupid when it comes to being in love, haha

no warnings! just soft

Malleus quickly turned his head to the sound of beeping. He almost instantly checked his pocket, but he knew the faint sound couldn’t be from his. After all, it was too far away, and accompanied by such innocent laughter. He paused as he looked over, seeing you sitting with something in your hands and smiling. Well, this was odd. Malleus usually saw you around but you usually weren’t alone. You at least had that cat with you, right? But here you were, sitting by yourself and looking into an object in your hands. When Malleus got closer, he instantly recognized it and smiled.

“What did you name yours?” He asked. You looked up with an expression of shock, but it quickly softened into something lighter.

“Ah, I haven’t decided yet!” You said. You were always so much calmer around Malleus than other people. It seemed like your lack of magic made it so you didn’t quite pick up on the powerful aura that Malleus seemed to give off that scared other students, even some of his own dorm mates away. He appreciated that. Something about your naivety, the lack of knowledge you had about the rules of this world were comforting. You never shied away like so many others did.

“How long have you had it then?” He asked. For him, he named his Gao Gao Dragon almost instantly. It was a silly name from when he was younger, but still.

“Ah, well… A few hours ago, I guess?” You laughed sheepishly. “It’s super similar to something I had as a kid. I didn’t think you guys would have them. I saw one, secondhand, at the store and I just… Well, I’ve never been the best with money, I guess.” You told him. Malleus smiled, leaning over to look at yours. It was… Awfully cute. It was an adult little blue dragon, with small little horns and wings. He chuckled a bit at the sight of it. 

“It’s alright.” Malleus pulled out his own, showing it. Immediately, you looked in shock. It was well taken care of and super cool looking. 

“Woah… I can only dream of mine looking like that! Man, you’re always so cool, Tsunotarou!” You laughed. And there it was, the least cool nickname that you could give a man, and yet he still smiled over it. There was something about it that was a good deal more comforting than the fearful “Lord Malleus” that he was accustomed to.

“You really think it’s cool?” He asked. You grinned and nodded, before remembering something you had seen online about Gao Gao Dragons. You gently tapped the side of yours against Malleus’ and giggled.

“Come on, I hear that like this they can go over to each other’s little homes and be friends!” You told Malleus, watching excitedly as your little dragon started to walk on over to Malleus’ and they began to interact. And once again, Malleus was shocked by your forwardness, the way you had leaned in and gotten closer to him. It was a good thing you couldn’t detect how his heart started beating faster or the red that started to dust his pale face. You just smiled and watched the two little dragons interact in awe.

“Wow, yours is way bigger than mine. I guess it makes sense, with how much taller than me you are.” You told him, before gasping and pointing. “Look! They’re becoming friends!” You exclaimed, grabbing onto Malleus’ arm with excitement. Malleus just looked and blinked. He took a moment before responding with a hum.

“Well, that’s good. It would make sense, considering our own personalities mesh quite fine.” Malleus felt like he was taking a risk when saying that. What if you disagreed? But, you agreed wholeheartedly quite quickly.

“Yeah! I guess that’s a good way to think about it. I don’t think mine really acts like me yet, but yours sort of does.” You teased, pointing at Malleus’ dragon. “It’s big and aloof. No one ever knows what it’s thinking. Some people might even find it scary.” You told him. Malleus felt his heart droop. He knew that some people found him scary. But, did you? Did you fear him too? 

“Ah… I see.” He responded. Although he was doing his best to hide it, you noticed and immediately started to clarify.

“Ah, but your dragon also has a soft side. See?” You pointed to Malleus’ dragon nuzzling against yours and smiled. “I’m sure your dragon is also a really good friend. I sure think you are.” You watched as Malleus almost instantly perked up at your words. Good. Something in you hated to ever see Malleus upset, even if it was over something entirely miniscule. Malleus smiled, starting to become used to the closeness the two of you adopted as his heart began to slow. He noticed how you talked about your little dragon with such excitement, even asking Malleus for tips on how to care for it to make your dragon as “cool” as his. 

When the bell rang, he almost felt sad when your eyes widened.

“Oh god, is it really that late already? God, Crewel is going to kill me!” You got up and pulled her Gao Gao Dragon away from Malleus’, shoving the toy into your pocket. “Um, I’ve got to go! Thanks for hanging out with me, but I’m super late to class right now!” You told him. Malleus gasped as you got up and started to leave him, instinctive reaching out and grabbing onto your arm. You looked back in bewilderment as Malleus looked at you, seemingly in the same amount of shock you were. He took a long moment before answering.

“Ah, can we do this again sometime? Show each other our dragons, I mean.” He asked. You blinked at him before smiling.

“Yeah, of course! Feel free to come over tonight, I’ll show you my progress.” You told him. The second bell rang, and you immediately went into panic. “The warning bell already?! God, this is terrible!” You pulled away from Malleus, running off in hopes of getting to your class before you really were about to be murdered for being late. Malleus just watched you run off, holding a hand to his chest. As he watched you run, his heart rate started to increase again. Maybe he would have to ask Lillia what exactly such a feeling meant. After all, he had never experienced anything like it before.

He had never been so sad to watch someone leave, while being so excited to be able to see them again before.

[rowansparrow]

By Any Other Name: Chapter Seven

Summary: You and Rex have a conversation on the rooftop.

Chapter Rating: Teen 

Warnings: Alcohol, some drunk-ness. Sad, so very sad.

Ships: Rex x Female!Reader, Fives x Female!Reader, Clone OC x Female!Reader, other ships tbd.

Tags: #ByAnyOtherName, #BAON

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: *insert that Always Sunny in Philadelphia Meme: “NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE, REX HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH READER THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME* As always, bless @fat-zygerrian for being my beta reader!

Comment if you want to be tagged! Reblogs are SO appreciated!

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six

You were supposed to meet him that night.

You’d planned on going to 79’s instead of the rooftop as usual. Rose said the boys had missed you and wanted to play cards again. You’d gotten all dolled up and were about to head out when your comm beeped.

“Hey,” You grinned, shutting your apartment door behind you. “I was just heading out.”

“Yeah… about that,” Rose sounded embarrassed. “There’s been a change in plans. I won’t be able to make it. In fact, none of us will. We got – err – held up on base.”

“Really?” You asked, pausing as you started to head down to the main level of your building. “Okay… well can we meet after?”

“I’m not supposed to go off base but – yeah, yeah I’ll see what I can do. Keep your comm close.”

He hung up and you hesitated in the stairwell for a beat. Fuck it. Even if Rose couldn’t come along, you were still going to have a nice time tonight!

You had gotten more confident about going to 79’s ever since you and Rose had gotten close. You could recognize a few distinct faces now, just from people Rose had pointed out to you or introduced to you in passing. There was a notable absence of 501st blue, which at least confirmed Rose wasn’t just ditching you and had in fact gotten held up at the base with the rest of his battalion.

You approached the bar, settling in and glancing around to look for any familiar faces to keep you company while you waited for Rose. Further down the bar, you spotted Marshal Commander Cody and your breath hitched for just a moment. Rose had told you all about him – the most highly decorated clone soldier in the entire Republic Army. You would’ve been able to guess it even if Rose hadn’t told you about the curved scar on the side of his face. For the way Cody carried himself, even here, held an air of authority, of gravitas and poise.

He was talking to someone, the other person obscured by his own body. You ordered a drink, trying not to look as starstruck by the Commander as you felt.

“I’d try your luck with someone a little less ranked if I were you,” The bartender teased, catching you staring. “I’ve never once seen the Marshal Commander take up an offer to go home with somebody.”

“That’s – that isn’t my intention.” You blushed, taking the drink with a short huff. Still, you glanced at Cody again and watched him clap his hand on the shoulder of the man he’d been speaking with.

“Alright, see you around, Rex ‘ole boy. Stay out of trouble.”

Now that made you turn instantly. As Cody moved away, you were able to get a better look at the man he’d been talking to, and gods above, it was him. It was Captain Rex. Rose had told you so many stories about him that it felt strange finally seeing him in the flesh.

Rose had warned you about how much trouble you both could get in if anyone ever found out you were seeing each other. Your friendship was frowned upon enough as is, but now that it had become something more, Rose had given you the full dressing-down on what could happen to him if you were ever caught.

As such, you hadn’t ever met Rose’s superior officer, and since Rose wasn’t here…

You downed the rest of your drink quickly. There’s no reason the Captain would be suspicious of you. Besides, you wanted to meet him, get to know the man who was such a huge part of Rose’s life.

You wanted to meet his family.

“Hi.”

In truth, maybe your introduction could’ve been a little stronger. But as you sidled over to the Captain and leaned one hand on the bar, he gave you a small smile, nodding once.

“Ma’am.”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Rex seemed surprised and looked you over carefully. He seemed to be waging a war with himself for a split second but eventually nodded.

“I don’t see why not.”

You grinned, settling into the seat beside him and waving the bartender over, tucking a hand under your chin. “What’s your name? I’m Y/N.”

“Rex.” He replied, offering his hand to shake. You repressed the urge to giggle. He was such a gentleman.

“What do you drink, Rex?”

He chuckled. “Whiskey.”

“Two of those, then.” You told the bartender. Rex’s eyebrow jumped up but you barely noticed.

“So. You must be a Captain, right? With all this fancy gear?” You said, motioning to his pauldron and kama.

“How d’you know I’m not just some ARC trooper who likes showing off?” Rex replied, smirking and leaning forward a bit.

“I’ve met an ARC trooper or two, and you don’t seem the type to boast.”

Rex chuckled again, taking his glass as the bartender returned. “You must get around, then.”

It wasn’t an insult and you didn’t take it as such. “Maybe I’m just good at making friends.”

Rex smiled and his eyes seemed to appraise you for a moment, taking all of you in, calculating. He took a swig.

“You here with any of those friends?” He asked.

“All alone, tonight.” You replied. “My friends got held up and you looked lonely. Thought I’d keep you company. It’s the least I can do for a soldier like you.”

Rex chuckled, low and sweet. “Most pretty girls don’t just find themselves in 79’s.” Rex drawled, setting his glass down again. “From what I can tell, they’re usually looking for trouble.”

He turned slightly to face you better. “Are you looking for trouble, mesh’la?”

Your heart skipped a beat. You knew that word, but didn’t know what it meant. Rose had called you that before.

“It looks like I already found it.” You replied.

Rex grinned. “Then I guess you better stay close so I can keep a proper eye on you.”

You chuckled, picking up your own drink and finally taking a sip. The whiskey burned your throat but it warmed you to the core. Rex looked impressed which was its own bonus.

“You never answered my question.” You said. “Are you a Captain?”

“I command the 501st attack battalion.” Rex said, a note of pride in his voice.

“Ah, then you must know Echo and Fives.” You prompted.

Rex seemed to age ten years at just the mention of their names. “I take it those are the ARC troopers you’ve met?” He asked. “My condolences.”

You giggled. “We played cards a few times. They’re nice but definitely a handful.”

“They’re all a handful.” Rex waved over the bartender to get another drink. “Every last one of them. That’s why none of them were allowed off base tonight.”

“Oh?” You grinned. “Do tell.”

Once he got going talking about his men, he couldn’t stop. Rex regaled you with the story of how earlier that afternoon he’d discovered his men were not only hiding a loth cat in the barracks, but it had given birth. They had managed to keep it a secret for weeks until the kittens started wreaking havoc. According to his men, Fives and Hardcase had been the ringleaders.

“That’s what they all say at least.” Rex amended. “’Course, Fives’ll take credit for just about anything. But Rose and Echo were suspiciously quiet the whole time. Kix was the only one with the good sense not to show his face in the barracks when I caught them. Still, I’ve got a feeling he encouraged the others to go along with it. Di’kuts, all of them.”

He shook his head but smiled as you laughed. “Anyway. They’re cleaning up the mess and finding natborns to rehome all the kits with. And when they finish with that, they’re supposed to take over the latrine shifts and canteen shifts for any other battalions.”

“Aw, seems a steep punishment for hiding loth cats.” You laughed.

“You didn’t see the state of the barracks.” Rex said, shaking his head slowly. “Apparently a bucket of paint got upended. They should all be scrubbing paw prints out of the durasteel right about now.”

You smiled fondly at Rex. Even as he retold the story, you could tell he was trying not to smile at the antics. It was clear he cared very deeply for his men, even if he had to be the tired parent of them all.

“Sounds like they wear you out.” You teased. “You deserve a break.”

“Are you offering me one?” Rex prompted.

You tilted your head to the side. “What do you mean?”

Rex smirked, and downed the rest of his drink. He took a deep breath, as though he was steeling himself to ask you something.

“Y/N!”

You recognized the voice and turned quickly as Rose hurried up to you. He had a small streak of blue paint across his cheek, but otherwise was beaming.

“Hey, you should’ve told me you’d be here. I went all the way to your apartment and had to backtrack -.”

He noticed the Captain a beat too late and you watched as all the color comically drained from his face. “Captain! Sir!” He snapped to attention. “I ah – I can explain…”

You glanced between Rose and Rex, your own heart pounding. Rose had all but given away the two of you were seeing each other. Rex looked at Rose before looking at you. He then turned to his glass, picking it up and making a big scene of looking it over.

“Sir…?” Rose asked nervously.

“Oh, I’m just inspecting my beverage.” Rex replied smoothly. “I must’ve been drugged you see, because surely I am not seeing my Lieutenant standing here, not when he is under strict orders to stay on base tonight.”

Rose cringed. “Yeah, sir, about that -.”

“It’s my fault.” You spoke up quickly, throwing together a lie. “Rose and I met yesterday, we’d been playing Sabacc with some of his brothers and he very kindly walked me home afterwards. I promised him drinks tonight to thank him and I wouldn’t take no for an answer.” You glanced to Rose. “He was just being a gentleman.”

Rex raised an eyebrow, glancing at Rose. “Funny.” He said. “Could’ve sworn I saw you in the weight room with Fives last night.”

“We… came here afterwards sir.” Rose lied, shifting a little closer to you, almost protective. “Ask him, he’ll say the same thing.”

“I’m sure he will.” Rex stood, picking his helmet up off the counter and knocked his knuckles lightly against the bar. “It was lovely to meet you, ma’am.” He said. “Rose?”

Your soldier stood at attention once again but Rex just put a hand on his shoulder.

“We have a briefing tomorrow morning. Oh-eight-hundred. Don’t be late.”

“Thank you, sir.” Rose was barely audible over the roar of the music in the bar. He looked like his knees would give out at any moment.

You could’ve sworn you saw Rex give Rose a little wink, but it must’ve been a trick of the light. He gave you one last nod before quietly departing.

Neither you nor Rose saw him glance back at you over his shoulder one last time before stepping out of the bar.

~

You’d lost track of how long you sat on the roof with Rex. Partially because he’d gone downstairs and returned with a bottle of your favorite whiskey and two glasses, pouring drinks for you both.

“For Rose,” Rex toasted, clinking your glasses together.

You smiled and for the first time that you could remember, Rose’s name didn’t make your heart ache. “For Rose.”

You both tossed the glasses back, that familiar burn searing your throat and chest before you shook yourself out, watching as Rex poured you both a second glass, entirely unfazed.

“He was very unsubtle about sneaking off base to go see you.” Rex told you, leaning back on one hand and closing his eyes as the breeze kissed his cheeks. “I’d give him a job and it would either be done in record time or it would’ve been passed off to somebody else. He once almost missed a debriefing because he’d spent the night with you. Skidded in right as I was about to start.” He chuckled. “I didn’t mind. He was happy. Gods know we soldiers deserve whatever happiness we can find.”

You hummed, smiling as you took another drink. “He talked about you all the time.” You said, leaning slightly against Rex’s side. “Idolized you, actually. He told me about the battles you’d been in together, how well you led your men.” You smiled to yourself, finishing your second drink and making your way towards a third. “He told me about that virus. Blue Shadow Virus, right?”

Rex hummed, getting himself another drink as well. “That was an ugly mission.”

“He said you were hovering a lot.” You teased. “Because he was always so sick when he was little. You were worried about him.”

“Brothers were dropping dead, left and right. Hells, even Commander Tano passed out at one point.” Rex recalled, shuddering to himself. “I thought we were all going to die.”

“He told me he wasn’t scared because you weren’t scared.” You smiled. “I guess you did a good job of hiding it.”

“He had way too many close calls.” Rex chuckled. “That virus almost took him out. We got rescued just in time. There was another time he was scouting with me and a few others on Saleucami -.”

“I remember that. You were shot.” You recalled and Rex chuckled.

“He really did tell you everything, didn’t he?”

“He was terrified. He told me he thought you were dead, the way you flew off the back of the speeder after getting hit..” You murmured.

“What he probably didn’t tell you is that shot just barely missed him.” Rex replied. “I’d been leading but he’d circled around me to get in front. He was goofing around with Hardcase. Bolt whizzed just an inch past his head and hit me instead. He had a blaster burn on the side of his helmet to prove it.”

You shuddered at the thought. “He didn’t tell me that part.”

“Probably also didn’t tell you that he got shot pretty good on Toydaria.” Rex replied. “Not once, but twice, once in the leg and another straight through the chest. Kix thought for sure he was a goner.”

You were familiar with those wounds. A frown pulled your lips. “He didn’t tell me. I had to find them myself.” You grumbled, still bitter. “He’d come back from the mission and told me he’d gotten hurt, but it was nothing serious.” You threw back your drink again. “Bantha shit, if I brushed against him, he winced. Finally made him show me.”

“I’m sure he got an earful after that.” Rex laughed.

“Oh, he did. And he wasn’t even that bothered that he’d nearly died, no, he was more concerned about the fact that his tattoos had been damaged by the shots. He was worried he wouldn’t be able to get new ink over the scars.” You rolled your eyes. “That man…”

“He was just trying not to worry you.” Rex smiled, taking another drink.

“I always worry.” You murmured, rubbing your thumb along the rim of your glass. “Always. About all of you. I always worried that one day Rose would come home and tell me something had happened to Fives, Echo, you… or any of the others.” You chuckled humorlessly, finishing your drink. “And then… one day you showed up at my door instead.”

A heavy silence fell between you. Rex took your empty glass, filling it up once again.

“It seems so silly.” You said. “That he should survive all of that and then just get shot and killed during a routine supply drop. I thought he was unbreakable.” You shook your head. “Guess I was wrong.”

Rex wouldn’t look you in the eye, instead focusing very intently on the glass in his hands.

“It was quick.” Rex said finally, still avoiding your eyes. “He didn’t feel anything. I promise.”

“I know.” You gave him a small, sad smile, squeezing his bicep gently. “And I guess I have that at least. At least… at least I know he didn’t suffer. He wasn’t alone or – or afraid.”

You smiled wistfully, looking out over the skyline.

“There’s a dress in my closet,” You began. “It’s nothing fancy, just a white sundress with lace around the hem and sleeves.”

Rex already seemed to know where this was going. He took a very long drink and followed your gaze out towards the skyline.

“We were going to leave together.” You said quietly. “Get married. Have a family. He had this whole, crazy plan.” You chuckled. “I’d told him I wanted to think about it. It was a big decision, he’d be on the run for the rest of his life, hiding from the Republic. And I’d be part of that.”

You glanced over at Rex. “He told me he was going to tell you. He said we could trust you. Did he ever…?”

Rex shook his head. “No. He never got the chance.”

You nodded, turning back towards the sky. “I was going to say yes.” You whispered. “I was going to go with him when he came back. We were going to run away together… It was all very romantic.” You shook your head, staring down at your glass. “And it was so stupid.”

Rex was quiet for several long moments until finally he rose to his feet, offering you his hand.

“C’mon.” he murmured. “I think that’s enough drinking for one night. Let’s get you home.”

You nodded, taking his hand and letting him pull you to your feet. You swayed. You didn’t realize how much you’d had to drink until you stumbled, falling slightly against his chest.

“The Rose Lounge owner can’t hold her liquor?” Rex teased. “Ironic.”

“Shuddup.” You mumbled, giving him a little shove. “I can walk.”

“Oh no you can’t, Tipsy. C’mere.” He crouched down slightly, and you slumped against his back. He picked you up with ease, bouncing you once to hike you higher up his back. He wrapped his arms around your legs, holding them snug against his torso while your hands wrapped around his shoulders.

“Don’t puke on me.” Rex warned, carrying you piggyback style towards the stairs.

“’M gonna fall off.” You muttered.

“No you won’t. Trust me.”

Your eyes were heavy, cheek pressed against the back of Rex’s neck and you remembered a time very long ago when another man had carried you on his back to this rooftop, and said the very same thing.

“I trust you, Rose.”

Rex was still. You hadn’t noticed your slip, your eyes already slipping closed.

“Okay.” His voice echoed. “I’ve got you.”

I’ve got you.

~

TAG LIST:  @fat-zygerrian @ladydiomede @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @threevie @cheesemachine44 @bubblyacey @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @loverofclones @starwarsgarbage @hockeyjedi13 @crazygirlwithasword @dar-manda-rjct @gotomarvelgal @baba-fett @whore4rex

[neetmatsuimagines]

Could I get some headcanons for the boys winning their SO a giant plush toy at a carnival....only to realize that they inadvertently caused their life to become the "ah yes, me, my So and their gigantic plush *insert animal here* that I won for them at the fair that one time" meme? Like, They love it so much it has to sleep with them EVERY night, robbing them of precious snuggles. And they can't get rid of it because SO would be so upset. (Bonus points. What animal did they win for them?)

Osomatsu:

When he saw the way you was reacting to the stuffed red panda, he smiled. He couldn’t help but find it cute with the way you was reacting to the stuff animals cuteness. “Osomatsu, can you please try to win it for me?” You would ask as you ran up to your boyfriend, clinging onto his arm lightly, resting your cheek in his arm and looking up at him with a soft pleading look.

He would sigh and nod softly. Leading to you cheering and jumping around gleefully.

After a few attempts and enough encouragement from you, he won you the plush, and when he handed it to you and smiled happily.

“Thank you Osomatsu!” You said as you soon kissed is cheek. He would instantly blush and look away, scratching at said cheek softly.

“N-no problem babe.”

~~~

He soon slightly regretted winning you the stuffed animal as he noticed it was in bed with the two of you from there on out. He rolled over in bed and looked up at the ceiling, watching the lights from passing cars light up the room.

“Osomatsu?” You asked as you rolled to face him, leaning up on your elbow.

“Ah (y/n), sorry if I woke you, you can go back to bed if you want.” He whispered out and you shook your head. Moving over to him and curling up on his side. “I know what this is about.” You said and he held his breath.

“Just so you know I don’t always plan to cuddle with it all the time you know. I just really love it...it’s something you got for me so I really want to keep it close to me.” You said and he breathed in, forgetting he was holding his breath.

“Man you really do know me huh honey?” He said and he laughed quietly.

“Well your my husband after all Osomatsu.” You said and he sighed out, letting his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

“Hey since we are both up do you want to-“

“No...”

“Ah man...”

“...maybe tomorrow”

“Really! Haha lucky!”

Karamatsu:

“Ah so I see my Angel has gained an interest in a specific prize? Ah and it’s a wolf nonetheless!”

He would look at the plush wolf and soon chuckle softly. “If my sweet dear wishes this to be her prize than so be it!”

He would try for the next 10 minutes until it was yours, your smile being the true prize for him.

“I’m so happy that my Karamatsu honey is enjoying the prize I won, is there any other thing you wish for me to-” he was soon cut off by you kissing him softly on the lips.

His face grew redder by each second as he puttered out unbearable words.

But he would chuckle to try to regain composure. “Let’s go home my sweet, I think we had enough fun here for today.”

~~~

For the next few days he begun to give the wolf the stink eye when you wasn’t around, for he grew unbelievably jealous of the prize he won you. He didn’t like being jealous, but seeing you cling onto it in your sleep instead of him was unbearable. So reluctantly he hid it one night, but for one night only, just so he can be able to hold onto you again.

Only to be soon found out when you found the hiding spot of it the morning after. “Karamatsu if you wanted to cuddle with me all you had to do was ask.”

“Hmmm my sweet darling knows me so well, but if you insist, we shall cuddle more in are deep loving embrace of slumber.”

Choromatsu:

Your hand held in his as you pointed out the frog on a lillypad hanging as a prize at one of the stands. He frowned at it lightly wondering what was so enticing about a frog. But seeing your eyes light up made his heart beat race. He sighed out softly and walked up to the stand to win you the prize.

He soon bashfully looked away as he listened to you jump around with glee as you pressed your face affectionately into the plush. “Thank you Choromatsu!” You said as you grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes.

He stuttered out a you’re welcome as you two soon went to ride a ride. His hold on your hand slightly tightening onto yours as the two of you walked.

~~~

He growled at the frog as it sat in the middle of your shared bed. It’s innocent eyes boring into his. He soon scoffed and walked away, attempting to ignore the stuffed animals looks.

Why was you cuddling with it and not him? Sure he liked having some space to sleep, but he enjoyed knowing you was close to him while he slept. He soon saw you cooking breakfast in the kitchen, your hips swaying softly to the Nyaa-Chan music playing. He sighed and walked up to you.

“I want to make some rules with the stuffed animal!” He demanded and you looked up and him, softly humming that you got his attention. “I-I want there to be nights where you don’t cuddle with that frog but you cuddle with me instead!” He said loudly and huffed. You smiled softly and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “What ever you say dear.” And you soon went back to the breakfast not seeing the red hue spreading into your husbands cheeks.

Ichimatsu:

He looked up at the stuffed cat as it hanged from the rack, it’s large brown eyes becoming enticing. He looked over at you and saw you was looking at the same thing as him. He turned back to the stand and walked up to the stand. He won the game pretty quickly and was somehow able to manage to get the prize you both was looking at.

He came over to you and held it out, looking away bashfully. You quickly grab onto it and cuddle with it.

“How did you know I wanted this? I didn’t even say anything?”

He hummed softly, kicking a pebble on the ground. “I just know.” He said and soon walked up closer to you. “I want you to know that uh...I may want to cuddle it too...if that’s...ok with you.” He said and you smiled and ruffled his hair softly. “I had a feeling you would say something like that Ichi.”

He hummed softly and looked into your eyes. Smiling softly. Only for him to grab your hand and pull you along with him.

~~~

The two of you was rather attached to the stuffed cat you two soon named Coffee, but after a few nights of you having the stuffed cat to yourself he reacted harshly. He ended up sighing loudly and turning away from you.

“If you want to cuddle that cat so bad you can! You seem so keen on cuddling it instead of me anyways!” He would soon storm off and leave you feeling confused and slightly hurt.

You soon heard him come back home in the dead of night as he got dressed for bed and crawled into it. You turned to face him and saw his eyes was on you.

“Ichi...I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. If you want to cuddle more you can just ask, I’m ok with it. I just don’t do it a lot because I don’t want to seem to pushy on you and your personal space...” you said and his eyes slightly widened. A small blush soon appearing on his cheeks at your statement.

“Tch... I wish you told me that sooner.” He said as he would soon move closer and pull you into him, his chin resting on your head.

“I’d ranther much prefer to cuddle with you over Coffee any day.” You said as you softly fell asleep to the sounds of his breathing.

Jyushimatsu:

He would be giggling frantically as you encouraged him on to win the prized stuffed golden retriever. The game was a strength tester which you was sure Jyushimatsu was going to win. And sure enough he did, he managed to ring the bell so hard it broke it! The man running the stall shakily handed over the prize to Jyushimatsu as he never saw anyone do that in his entire life. “I did it (y/n) I did it! Hahaha!” He soon pushed the plush into your arms and giggled happily.

“Thank you Jyushi I love it.” You said and he bashfully rubbed the back of his head. “Anything for you (y/n)-Chan!” He than proceeded to grab your hand in his, suprisingly rolling his sleeves up in he process, and running around the festivel with you. Laughing out loudly and happily. Yours soon following soon after his.

~~~

He looked at the stuffed dog with a suspicious look as it lay on the bed. His eyes cat like and his sleeve covered hand over his mouth as he was lost in thought.

‘Is it controlling (y/n)?’

‘Is it making (y/n) cuddle it now and not me!?’

‘Why does she give it more attention!’

These was a few thoughts that went through his head as he soon was skipping his foot of the ground, deeper into his thoughts than he knew. He soon jumped and he felt your hand on his shoulder.

“Ah! (Y/n)-Chan!” He shouted and looked at you nervously, hoping you didn’t read his thoughts.” But little did he know you figured he was upset about the stuffed dog.

“Are you upset that I’m cuddling Ramen?” You asked and he looked to the side. “Ramen?” He asked and you hummed going over to pick the stuffed dog up. “I named him Ramen!” You said and laughed.

His eyes soon widened, “ah you can read minds?!” He asked and you shook your head. “No I just figured that’s what was upsetting you sweetie.” You said as you walked over to him, cupping his cheeks. “Haha, you could always read me so well (y/n)-Chan.” He said and you nodded. “If you want I can have on an off days when I cuddle him and cuddle you instead...deal?” You asked and he thought for a minute. “Can you hug it once a month and me for the rest?” He asked and you laughed. “No...but maybe, just depends on who I want to cudddle.” You said and he laughed too. “Well I guess we can both agree with what we said than?” He asked and you nodded. “Yes Jyushi I guess we can.”

Todomatsu:

He saw the way you was looking at the light pink rabbit and he giggled. “Neh neh (y/n)-Chan do you want me to win the stuffed bunny for you?” He asked as he pointed at the plush. You nodded eagerly. “Please Totty, it’s so cute!” You said and he giggled. “If you want it that bad I guess I have no other choice.” He said as he walked up to the stand and started the game.

You hugged onto the plush as soon as he handed it to you. “Thank you Todomatsu!” You said happily and he giggled. “Anything for my sweet (y/n)-Chan.” He said with a small wink.

~~~

He looked at the plush with a pout and picked it up, turning it over to get a better look at it. “What’s so enticing about this thing anyway.” He pouted and soon layed it back down onto the bed.

“It’s cute for starters” came your voice and he quickly turned to see you standing in the door way. “Ah (y/n)-Chan when did you get there?” He asked and laughed bashfully, his hand rubbing the back of his head.

“I had to get some clothes to wash and I saw you in here...are you alright?” You asked and he nodded quickly.

“Of course I’m ok, I always am!” He said winking at you.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“And your not jealous of the rabbit are you?”

“No way!”

“Are you sure?”

“...”

“Todomatsu if you want to cuddle me more, you don’t have to ask.” You said as your wrapped your arms around his shoulders. He tensed.

“Ah...I don’t?” He asked slowly, his cutesy voice gone.

You hummed. “You never have to ask sweetie.” You said and kissed him softly on the lips. You smiled and picked up the cloths you needed and left him dazed and a blushing mess.

(This is all written on my phone so please forgive me for any grammar and spelling errors, my phone hates me)

[hownottofindaboyfriend-blog]

Date Seventeen. Chris. And Dan. And Steve.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young single woman in possession of a small fortune, expensive taste in shoes and even more expensive taste in London restaurants must be in want of a boyfriend. Sadly the truth remains that most other single women are also looking for the same thing, which makes the competition to find said boyfriend pretty intense and length of time it takes to find him pretty unbearable.

So you can imagine how it came to be that on one sunny afternoon, as I was lulled into a false sense of security by my chronic Friday hangover (thanks Nutella tequila shots, you bastards) I decided to take up my friends’ very strange offer and accompany her and her work mate on a Grouper date.  

For those who haven’t heard of this old school phenomenon, Grouper is a ‘date night out’ with a difference, in which not one, not two but three single females are matched on a first date with three equally single men. Sounds pretty awkward in theory and in reality it is even more so. One on one first dates are bad enough. Lump six miserable single people around a packed table on a Thursday night and it’s safe to say the only thing you’ll be exchanging are tales of cynicism and low grade sexual infections.

And how one might ask do you find two people, lonely enough and desperate enough to engage in this horrible six-some? The answer is by messaging everyone in your contact book and leaping on the first stupid person to give some semblance of a positive response (boy do I now regret adopting a ‘Yes, Man’ mantra to life this month.)

Still, having been promised several half price cocktails at a bar of my choosing as a reward for attending, it came to be that I found myself tucked up at a bar in Covent Garden one warm Thursday night after work, my friends Anna and Mel beside me, feeling absolutely terrified and wondering what the hell I’d gotten myself into. To be fair we’d already had a few warm up beverages at the local pub before arrival so I was certainly feeling more chipper than I had been forty five minutes ago. 

Before our dates arrived, we rustled up a few contingency plans for how to handle the evening, on the off chance that all three of us ended up fancying the same guy. (Given our rather contrasting taste in boyfriends over the years, the chance of this happening felt rather unlikely although, as the Cub scouts say, it never hurts to be prepared.)

So we waited. And waited, darting our heads around at every half decent looking group of guys to enter the bar on the off chance that they happened to be our matches for the evening. Eventually our men arrived, ushered over to us by a rather bored looking waitress who clearly dealt with these sorts of situations all the time and didn’t like young people or any human beings at all for that matter.

We made our hello’s (*insert awkward hand shakes and mis-cheek kisses here) and sat down to drinks. Of the three guys I could see only one that stood out in terms of possessing any real physical niceties and clearly my friends had picked up on this too. (To my right I could see Anna re-postioning her top in an effort to show off more cleavage whilst Mel, who lacked cleavage, tousled her hair back and forth like a ‘My Little Pony’ character emerging from out of a rainbow.)

After the first round of drinks (we’d all unanimously decided that we’d be doing rounds, God help Monzo) the girls and I made a quick trip to the ladies room so that we could a) fix our makeup b) assess the situation (did anyone need an emergency getaway plan?) c) fix our makeup.

Once in the bathroom of course all talk turned to the boys. Did we fancy any of them, what did we think of their hands, of the three who smelt the best etc.  The words were out before I could stop myself. ‘I kind of fancy Chris,’ I said. 

I waited for the reaction, the semi-cat fight to ensue (of course they all fancied Chris!) but instead they looked at me and gaped. 

‘Chris?’ Anna said. ‘Bleugh! No! I think Steve is the best looking.’

‘You’re both mad,’ Mel said. ‘Dave is the only attractive one. By a mile.’

Well that settled it. We wouldn’t be gunning for the same guy after all.

After a few hours of the guys plying us generously with tequila shots we girls suggested a game of beer pong to take our new found, weird group friendship to the next level. After picking our teams rather carefully and ensuring that each girl was standing on the same side of the guy she fancied (we may be pissed as fuck, but we’re also strategic) the game ensued. I got chatting a little more to Chris, who it turned out wasn’t as good looking up close in the fluorescent lights where our beer pong table was positioned as he had been in the half darkness over by the bar. Still, he was a living, breathing, literate male who seemed to be showing some sense of an interest in me which, given my partially inebriated state, seemed more than enough to give my night a big thumbs up for effort.

After a couple of hours of beer pong the boys suggested a new venue, the Magdalen, about ten minutes down the road. So we gathered our things and headed over. By this point Anna and Steve were walking arm in arm and Dave and Mel were having some sort of half flirty/half academic conversation about the state of Libya and how NATO should tackle deficit claims. 

Chris on the other hand was becoming relatively touchy with me which, flattered as I was, posed something of an irritation, for at this stage in the evening I was hangry as hell and wanted nothing more than to be left alone to scoff a pepperoni pizza in private. I could smell chicken on the street, my stomach did a backflip and I asked Chris if he felt like splitting a Nando's with me as the others went ahead. 

‘Now?’ he looked at me incredulously, like the very notion of eating food at dinner time was some sort of cryptic phenomenon . I nodded vigorously, the thought of Peri Peri chicken overwhelming my senses, so much so that Chris himself was slowly beginning to resemble a plate of peri chicken. His hair wax like chicken marinade. His arms like wings. His thighs like, well, thighs...

I asked him again if he fancied a plate of chicken. ‘I have a Nando’s card,’ I added with enthusiasm (men do rate a Nando’s card) and rummaged in my wallet to show him that I did indeed possess one.

Chris laughed like this was the funniest thing he’d ever heard and I cringed inwardly. (What sort of sick bastard laughs at a Nando’s card?!)

Still, eventually he gave in and we headed over to the awaiting restaurant. Chris ordered a small, lemon and lime chicken Pitta (pussy) and I order a medium, half chicken with fries and Macho peas. We sat down to eat, inhaling our food within minutes and not speaking in the process which is just the way I like it. 

My mood bolstered and my stomach full, we headed to the pub to find the others. Unfortunately things appeared to have escalated quite dramatically since our departure: Dave and Mel were already getting off in a corner of the pub whilst Steve and Anna were necking Jaeger bombs at the bar with speed. I looked at Chris and he looked at me; our hearty chicken meals had sobered us enough to make us feel slightly out of place in this now hedonistic scenario. We stood in silence for several moments unsure of how to proceed. In an effort to break the ice, I tentatively asked Chris if he wanted to see the waterskiing squirrel meme I had downloaded on my phone, an offer he politely accepted. We went outside to the terrace and looked at memes for a quarter of an hour before going back inside to learnt that Mel and Dave had left the premises in an Uber LUX, courtesy of Dave, whilst Steve has gone outside to make a courtesy call to his girlfriend. This last piece of information came as quite a bit of a surprise. Surely Dave’s girlfriend would find issue with the fact that Dave was out on a Grouper date? What with Anna’s look of annoyance and Chris’s look of sheepishness I decided it was probably time to call it a night.

As those remaining made their goodbyes, Chris pulled me aside and asked me if I’d be keen to take his number to go out again. Whilst the world ‘keen’ felt like a bit of an overkill from my perspective, one can never have too many quiet friends to share a plate of Nando's chicken with. I nodded my head in agreement, secretly wishing that he’d forget to contact me.

As Anna and I walked to the tube I contemplated the success of our first Grouper night out, which seemed to consist of a dead cert one night stand and bar tab total of £200.

I got a message on my phone from a surname-less Chris seven days later along the lines of ‘Hello, do you fancy a bite to eat this week’ alongside an emoji of a roast chicken. After a good few minutes of brain racking and trying to remember who the the hell Chris was I found myself unsure of whether or not to  reply. Seven days is a long time in Dating Land, a time frame that positively screams ‘lack of interest’. Anything could have happened to me in this seven day window which would easily justify a lack of response. I could have dropped my phone, been run over by a train, been committed or sent to prison. I could have developed a nasty case of tonsiltis or lost both my hands in a motorbiking accident thus rendering me unable to reply to iMessages.  I don’t reply and hastily and guiltily delete Chris’s number, opting this time round (for the first time) to play dead.