#insane and he didn't really have anything else to do I guess but the podcast version of the most recent installment

[almondcroissantsandink]

I caught up with Dracula Daily today and never realized before that Jonathan expected Dracula to potentially be in his room when he scaled the wall and jumped in through the window, like was he going to throw hands upon entry or what

[ladylooch]

Will David answer questions on the teams podcast about his relationship with Mack Hischier?

David does not talk about Mack when they are dating. At all. Ever. ( see below). After they are engaged though, he is happy to discuss her. Once they are married, he is full on “my wife” guy. Cannot shut up about her. Every other answer starts with “well, my wife says” or “My wife and I were talking about…” 

Let’s see more below about his response when they are dating...

In a sound proof media room, David Carlson stretches out his long legs beneath the table. He clasps his fingers together, leaning back in his chair as he lists off answers to the rapid fire questions the two podcast hosts are shooting at him.

“Last Binge Watch?” 

“Ah…” He thinks about what him and Mack are watching. “Brooklyn 99.”

“Nice! Favorite musician?”

“I’m an old school guy. Big into Garth Brooks right now.”

“Okay. Favorite thing to do on an off day.”

Have his face buried in Mack’s tits. He grins and blinks that thought away quickly.

“Go for a walk or meet up with friends. I can’t sit still for long. It’s the farm kid in me.”

The rapid fire questions have done a good job breaking the ice. David doesn’t love doing these things but knows he has certain obligations he has to do from time to time. He would rather do this than be pulled out of the locker room between periods.

The questions begin to shift from quick hits to longer, hockey focused ones. David fills them in on his trajectory to the show, what college was like, and if he really goes back to Iowa and works the farm every summer.

“What do you mean do I really do that?” David shoots back, cracking up. “Yeah, man. I really go work my farm in the summer. I've got pictures if you need 'em."

“That is insane. How do you do that and play hockey at such a high level? That is two high intensity jobs.”

“I’ve got staff. My farm manager, Felix, looks after the place for me. Couldn’t do it without him. We’ve got a group of farm hands, but mostly in the winter it’s maintenance and getting ready for the next season. Pretty cold. I’m glad I get to miss that part of the year. But yeah, it's my family farm, I grew up on it and couldn't see myself selling it off for someone else to run that land."

“Wow, that’s crazy. Do you ever sleep?”

“No.” He answers immediately, smirking.

David and the hosts chuckle in unison. 

“I have a great group of people back home who help. If I have to head back East early, my buddies Cody and Trevor will come help the group get the farm ready for harvest. I’m lucky. Nothing better than a small town helping each other out.”

“Speaking of harvest and fall activities…. what’s Thanksgiving dinner like for you and Woody?"

“What?” David asks, raising his eyebrow.

“I don’t know that they would celebrate Thanksgiving? They're Swiss.” The other host questions.

“Yeah, I guess, let's start there do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Cause Woody’s wife and your girlfriend are sisters.”

“Yeah, they’re half American tho.” David answers with an awkward laugh. He didn't see this going in that direction.

“Who cooks dinner?”

“Woody and his wife. I pick up the pie wherever Lucie Wood tells me too. That’s about all I’m good at contributing. Woody is a really good cook though. Him and Lucie kept me fed most of the time the last few years because we lived in the same building.”

“Is that how you and your girlfriend met?” The directness about Mack makes David shift in his chair. He reaches up, rubbing at his nose to hide his awkward lip scrunch.

“Sorry, boys but we aren’t going to go there today. I’m gonna keep that part of my life off the pod. She deserves her privacy.” 

“Oh shoot, sorry man. Didn’t mean to intrude.” The hosts genuinely answer. "We can cut that out."

“No worries.” David waves the concern away. He isn’t upset that they asked about her, but he isn’t going to say anything else about her. Mack has been clear that unless there is something more permanent between them- like a ring- she won’t be talking about him publicly. He feels it’s fair to respect her wishes in this space too.

David plans on telling Mack as much when he stops by her place after work. She swings the door open then shoots herself into his awaiting arms. She has had work events the last two days and they haven’t seen each other. He breathes her in then maneuvers his face to kiss hers.

“Mmm.” She sighs, then threads her fingers through his hair. Her hands grip his head, keeping his head to hers to kiss him again. “I’m gonna ignore what’s in your mouth right now cause I missed you so much.”

“Shit. Sorry.” He mutters. He uses his tongue to pull the tobacco pouch from his cheek. He meant to toss it as he was walking in but Ron distracted him with pictures of his newest grandchild.

“It’s fine. I guess. Cause you're cute and all.” She rolls her eyes at him teasingly. “How was your day?” She saunters back towards the kitchen, giving David a nice show of her ass in her blue leggings. 

“Good.” He murmurs distractedly. It isn’t until she rounds the island that he is able to raise his eyes away from her peach of an ass.

“Nice.” She laughs. David shrugs. “How did the podcast go?”

He had mentioned it to her earlier in the day, saying he was staying at the rink later and wouldn’t be able to catch lunch with her. Another reason to hate having media obligations: less time with his girl.

“It was good.” He murmurs, reaching into her bowl of popcorn and popping a kernel in his mouth. “This dinner?”

“No I ordered Indian.”

“Cool.” He nods, then grabs a handful. “Ah, they tried to ask me about you.”

“Really?” She turns to him with a scrunched look on her face. “Why?”

“Baby, it’s so funny to me that you have no idea who you are in the hockey world.” 

“Is it that I don’t know or that I don’t care?” David raises his eyebrows in a ‘fair’ response. “What did you say?”

“I said I wasn’t going to talk about ya.” He walks behind her, letting his hand cup her ass as he goes. He opens her fridge and pulls out a Coke. He wants a beer, but he has been lagging too much ass on the ice this week to be hitting the sauce.

“Thank you.” She smiles at him, clearly appreciating that he understands where the line is for her.

“Didn’t want you to get all embarrassed about dating a dumb hockey player.”

“You know that’s not it.”

“I know, honey.” He says, coming back to her. This time he grips her ass in both hands. “How was your day?”

“Good.” She smirks at him, purposefully keeping her answer short as she works her hands under his t-shirt to touch his abs. “Dinner is still a half hour away…”

“Hmm, what should we do?” He mumbles against her lips. She grips the waistband of his jeans and begin to tug him back towards the bedroom. He halts her with his hands on her hips. “What we gonna do in there that we can’t do here?”

Then he swoops her up into his arms to lay her back on the hard floor. 

Yeah, this part of his life is just for him.

[catgirl-catboy]

Would fall into mlm scheme-

*Coughs* Kakeru x Kinji i guess?

He saved us from Tsurugi's wrath just being existing, we should grateful for him...

And what is your remnants headcanons?? I love remnants more than my life I need to know people's opinions on them

Oh hell yess! My Remnant headcanons can go on for days!

CW: a buncha fucked up shit. This is your dead dove tag. Also, none of this is Dr3 compliant because Dr3 was made by cowards that didn't show much gore.

First off, can I drop someone else's fic? This Kazuichi fic is absolutely horrifying, and I am afraid of the person who can think that up. The other one-shots in the fic are good too, but this one... fantastic.

Sonia decides she despises all of the pressure she's put under being a queen, and wants to abdicate. Junko won't allow this, thinking that staying as a princess will cause her despair. Kazuichi makes a robot meant to perfectly imitate her. (I imagine he gets gross with it, but nothing explicitly illegal happens) Gundam actually takes over the running of the kingdom, leaving him no time to take care of his Devas.

Sonia decides to give up on both being a princess and a person, and mostly just does the first impulsive thing she can think of. If she wants to try something she heard in a true crime podcast, she does. Cut all of her hair off, sure. why not!

I imagine she'd rarely communicate people other than Kazuichi and Gundam verbally. Most of the time, she just makes noises or is creepily silent.

Remember how in Ultra Despair Girls, becoming Junko was a big thing? Fuyuhiko wants to become Natsumi. Peko objects to this, so he donates her to Mikan. (more on Mikan later.)

He tries to forget that he ever held a differing opinion than Natsumi.

He's one of the few despairs that doesn't kill his parents. Why would the golden child ever do such a thing?

Mikan worked on the Kamukura project. It was her first human experiment, but it wasn't the last.

She does unethical experiments on people, and is by far the most terrifying despair. It isn't even about knowledge for her anymore. Its about control. She's done lobotomies on several people, so she has staff that unflinchingly follows her orders.

Fuyuhiko donates Peko to her cause, but she escapes with minimal damage.

Hiyoko isn't so lucky. Mikan manages to capture her early into the Tragedy. Almost everyone suspects Mikan has her, but nobody wants to say anything.

She does a reverse Izuru and manages to remove Hiyoko's talent. Her feet look fine. But her sense of balance is almost completely destroyed, making her extremely clumsy.

Mikan doesn't stop there. She makes Hiyoko extremely dependant on her to do basic tasks like eating and getting dressed, while not causing her much physical injury. (I imagine Mikan undoes some but not all of it post Dr2) Mikan loves this. Imagine a complete role reversal where Hiyoko has to be super polite to Mikan so Mikan doesn't hurt her worse, while Mikan is just batshit insane.

The only one aware of Hiyoko's whereabouts is Mahiru. She documented the whole thing, along with most of the other crimes the despairs have committed.

Mahiru is the only despair with an intact sense of morality, but it doesn't stop her from acting. She's just an observer. Really.

She observes everyone she's close to fall into despair, and doesn't notice her slipping into it herself.

After Junko made it clear that Sonia was never going to date him, Kazuichi gives up on romance as a concept. He's still very horny, but it never really goes anywhere.

I imagine he's had sex with pretty much every attractive person he meets. None of the measure up to Sonia.

Also, I imagine he'd likely be the one to give himself tattoos, and that they'd be related to his Ultimate. Practical.

Akane starving herself is Dr2 canon, but I imagine she also starved her siblings. Slowly. She was tired of being the brave one, so she killed them.

I imagine that she takes up smoking to kill her taste buds.

She's the type who will needlessly endanger her own life just to feel something.

Nekomaru is angry and bitter about the fact that out of these fuck-ups, he's the one most likely to die first. As a result, he will attempt to murder the other remnants. His body isn't strong enough to be as much of a threat.

I know the fanon is that Kaz built the executions for Junko, but I like to imagine Nekomaru helped with the phycological aspects. A coach knows how to bring out both the best and the worst in people.

Horrible influence for Akane.

I like Ultra Despair Girls so Servant is canon to me, but I'd like to imagine that he keeps waffling back and forth on if he wants his talent removed like Hiyoko.

I also imagine that he makes it very easy for strangers to attempt to murder him. It never works.

Izuru discovers he likes the sensation of pain. (I don't mean it in a sexual way but if you do thats cool dw.) He tries to seek out and experience the most painful things the world has to offer, to see if something more painful than boredom exists. It doesn't.

Ibuki regresses to how she was before she quit her old band. Incredibly self-conscious of how others view her and ready to follow the crowd. The crowd screams for bloodshed, so she delivers! She should be happy, right?

The Ult. Impostor mutilates themselves to the point where they won't be able to successfully impersonate someone ever again. You can't hide those scars. They are a nobody, and they took away their choice to even be seen as a somebody.

Peko is in a depressive state throughout the entire plot post Fuyuhiko. She doesn't do much of anything, but she could never raise a hand against him.

Teruteru absolutely did some shit with that Mondo butter, thats all I'm saying. All of the Dr1 kid's corpses were probably stolen by the kids, not just Junko.

[logicalstansadvice]

Hey, mods, can anyone tell me when did Seb say “he did two cameos last year he could just do cameos for the rest of his life”/ They were talking about Chris Evan doing 2 cameos. I don't know in what though.

Anon 2: Seb didn't say it, the interviewer did. they were talking about the possibility of cevans'voicing the talking penis so the interviewer said it could've worked out since Chris did two cameos recently

Anon 3: seb didn't actually say that, it was the interviewer, but it was in reference to the possibility of chris voicing the penis in p&t and i'm guessing how it would be just another cameo for him :)

Anon 4: t was about CEvans (Don't look up and Free guy) and it was the interviewer who said it

Anon 5: In the podcast, when Sebastian and the interviewer were talking about having Chris Evans be the voice of the penis in P&T, the interviewer said CE did two cameos last year (I think Free Guy was one of them) so he could have done more and either the interviewer or Sebastian said CE could do cameos for the rest of his life and be set like wouldn’t need to do anything else. Sebastian was talking about how he wasn’t going to contact CE while he was filming in Atlanta I think that’s what I heard and if they did end up getting CE how it would be insane the reaction and everything and how it would take over.

Anon 6: It's about CEvans. twitter*com/theradrady/status/1553017512878608386

Anon 7: Also this was around the 1HR25MIN mark of the podcast near the end when the Chris Evans conversation comes up and the voice of the penis in P&T.

Anon 8: it was in reference to the possibility of chris voicing the penis in p&t // Well, now I feel robbed! I would have loved that. (Never heard of Jason M so his voice made no impression on me.) The Grey Man is a decent action movie but Chris is really entertaining in it as an over-the-top baddie, so I don’t think the heightened reality of P&T would be too much of a stretch for him.

💄