#ino tag cooking emoji

[itsjaywalkers]

a little silly jegulus for my darling @veryinnovative !! happy birthday ino MWAH <333 (very very light nsfw)

"What the fuck did I just walk into?"

Regulus doesn't even bother to look up from where he's sitting on the floor, head between his knees as he waits for God—or whoever is up there, really, he isn't fussed—to fucking smite him. He does, however, let out a pitiful sound, both in acknowledgement and as a response. It doesn't explain much, he's aware of that, but Barty knows him enough at this point. He doesn't require anything else from him.

"Yeah, I can see you're having a bit of a breakdown," Barty huffs out, and Regulus hears his steps, light and careful, getting closer to him. "What brought it on this time, though? I literally just went to the corner shop to grab some Redbulls. It's been 15 minutes since I left and you were fine."

Regulus makes another pathetic noise, still refusing to raise his head. This one is a bit more petulant, because Barty has a talent for bringing out his pettiest side, even when he's experiencing unknown levels of distress.

"Babe, I'm gonna need you to give me something else," Barty insists, before sighing heavily. His walking comes to a halt, and Regulus doesn't need to check to know he's standing right in front of him.

He groans, but decides to be merciful, despite being aware that Barty knowing about what's upsetting him this much won't do him any favours. Barty can be a surprisingly supportive friend when it matters, but he's insufferable when he's right.

Regulus lifts his arm and points to his left, hoping he's being accurate enough, considering he isn't even looking. He keeps the position for a couple of seconds before dropping the arm back down, going back to hugging his legs tightly.

Barty begins moving once again, but stops after taking a few steps. "And what the fuck does that mean?" Barty exclaims, and Regulus can picture him throwing his hands up in the air. It almost drags a smile out of him. "You pointed at the couch. Am I supposed to believe our couch attacked you?"

Regulus exhales loudly through his nose, but doesn't deign that with a response.

"Because even if it did, Reg, I'm sorry to say you're gonna have get over yourself and your cute little breakdown. That couch cost us a fortune, and it's where Rosie first kissed me, so I refuse to—"

A sudden buzz interrupts Barty's train of thought. It makes Regulus' blood go cold, and he attempts to bury his face even deeper between his legs, a pained moan escaping his mouth as his face burns.

"What was that?" Barty mumbles, pacing around their living room. "Was it your phone? Why don't you have your phone on you?"

Regulus lets out a grumble, burrowing himself tighter in his own embrace while he listens to his best friend search for the origin of the sound.

It buzzes again, and Regulus is this close to grab the stupid device and throw it out the window, when Barty clicks his tongue, some ruffling following the noise.

"There it is," he says quietly. "Why the hell did you bury it under all the cushions? I know you're not a big fan of it, but this is simply—"

Realisation dawns on Regulus way too late, and by the time he snaps his head up, clumsily trying to get back on his feet as fast as possible but only ending up on his knees, Barty already has his phone in his hands. His eyes are wide, lips slightly parted, and he seems to be reading Regulus' notifications.

He's never regretted giving him his password as much as this instant.

"Barty, that's not—" Regulus starts, strained.

"Oh my fucking god," Barty murmurs, gaze fixated on the screen of the phone. He's not even blinking, and the stupid thing buzzes again, lighting up with a new message.

"Shut up," Regulus says, the blush on his face worsening by the second, as if it knows what's coming.

"I told you," Barty responds, still not looking away from Regulus' phone. "I fucking told you, dude—"

"Shut up!" Regulus repeats in a hiss, pushing himself up a little shakily but managing to regain his balance, not even hesitating before beginning to make his way towards his friend. "Give me my phone back!"

"No way," Barty snorts, dodging Regulus at the very last second, barely avoiding getting tackled into the couch. "This is too good, Reg, I can't believe you fucked up this badly. I would've killed myself if I were you—"

"Shut the fuck up!" Regulus snarls, cheeks aflame while he follows Barty around their apartment, attempting to get his phone back. "As if you're not completely shameless—"

"At least I've never been caught screenshotting my crush's thirst traps—"

"He's not my crush! I literally cannot stand him!"

Barty barks out a laugh, and it makes him falter enough for Regulus to get ahold of the hem of his shirt. However, his grasp is too loose, and Barty breaks away from it before Regulus can tighten it and finally take back what's rightfully his.

"Tell that to the dozen screenshots of his shirtless pics you have in your gallery."

Regulus makes an outraged sound, doubling his efforts, the heat in his face becoming almost unbearable as he chases his annoying best friend.

"That's an invasion of privacy!" he yells, grabbing one of the cushions and throwing it at Barty's head. He hits him right on the face, and it makes him feel considerably better, especially when Barty gives him his most deadpan expression. "Why are you in my gallery?"

"Well, Reg, after reading Potter's texts I got curious. I thought 'it can't be that bad, Reg is subtler than this' but it definitely can be that bad—"

"Stop! You're making such a big deal out of it, there's barely any—"

"Reg, babe, you have a folder just dedicated to James Potter's snapchats."

"It's for better organisation—"

"You must've been blowing his phone up with all those screenshots. Honestly, I don't understand how he hansn't blocked your creepy ass yet—"

"I know you aren't lecturing me about being creepy. You just aren't. Or do I have to remind you the kind of shit you pulled back when Evan wasn't giving you the time of day—"

"The joke's on you, idiot, Rosie is very much into my creepy shit," Barty retorts, stopping for a second just so he can put his hands on his hips and stare down at Regulus. "Although, I suppose Potter must like your freak behaviour too, considering how desperate he seems to be about getting you to reply. Not like I'm surprised, it's gotta be a boost to his massive ego—"

"Stop. Stop. Stop fucking talking—" Regulus lunges at him once more, but Barty is prepared every fucking time, avoiding him without breaking a sweat. "This is all your fault!"

Barty gapes at him. "How is this my fault? I warned you, dude! I told you people get notifications when you screenshot their stories—"

"Well, you didn't warn me hard enough!" Regulus schreeches, burying his hands inside his curls and pulling frantically. He feels like he's a breeze way from losing his shit. "James followed me back out of fucking nowhere, even though I was on my secret account, and then he began texting me all these things. Teasing me, making fun of me, always so fucking full of himself. And as if that weren't bad enough, then my brother also texted me just to sent me a voice note of himself laughing his ass off for two minutes—"

"I don't blame him," Barty snorts with a shake of his head. "Doesn't he live with Potter?"

"Yes. Yes, he does," Regulus mumbles, nearly hysterical. "And I really didn't need the reminder—"

"Sorry, sorry." Barty doesn't sound sorry in the slightest. "Listen, it might not be as bad as you think. Potter will get tired of you ignoring him soon, and then he'll give up and drop it, and this will just become an anecdote that we'll all laugh about in a couple of months. I mean, I'm already laughing."

Regulus stops trying to tear his hair out for a moment, narrowed eyes focusing on his best friend as he squirms in his place, shifting the weight from one foot to another. "You think so?"

"I know so," Barty assures him, and his confidence is somehow relieving, even though Regulus knows better than to trust anything that comes out of his big mouth. "You can finish having you breakdown, if you want, but you have nothing to—"

Another buzz cuts Barty off. The noise makes Regulus tense up almost unconsciously, because after today, he doesn't think he'll be able to listen to the bloody sound without having a heart attack. His shoulders relax slightly a second later, before going stiff once more when the buzzing doesn't stop.

"Oh," Barty whispers, eloquently. "Someone's calling."

"Don't—"

"Potter is calling."

"Fuck," Regulus says, with feeling. "Fuck."

"Yeaaaah," Barty drawls, gaze jumping from the vibrating phone in his hand to Regulus' panicked face. He's wearing that irritating shit-eating grin of his. "Forget what I said. I was lying anyway. You're fucked, dude."

"Shut your fucking mouth and hang up," Regulus snaps, heart beating so violently he can feel it in his fucking throat.

Barty tilts his head to the side, considering. Regulus gives him a warning look, getting mildly sick at the way in which Barty's smirk only appears to spread even wider. "Where's the fun in that, though?"

Regulus feels himself go pale, bile climbing up his throat. He swallows it back down with some struggle, his insides burning.

"You wouldn't," he mumbles, his phone still ringing.

"Wouldn't I?" Barty questions, arching in an eyebrow.

"Barty—"

His best friend is picking up the phone even before Regulus has finished uttering his name. Barty presses the device next to his ear a second later, and there's an almost manic quality to his grin.

"Hey, Potter," he greets, voice filled with glee. Regulus almost screams. "Yeah, yeah, he's here, why?"

Regulus shakes his head furiously, hands moving widely and forming cross after cross, despite Barty ignoring every single one of his signs. His best friend starts walking towards him, and Regulus retreats hastily until his back meets the wall.

"Oh, you wanna speak to him?" Barty is saying into the phone, gaze never leaving Regulus. "And it's urgent? Hm."

Please, Regulus says inaudibly, the perfect picture of desperation.

There's a pause, and for a brief moment, Regulus thinks Barty is about to take pity on him. Put an end to the joke before it ruins what's left of Regulus' dignity.

But Barty is Barty, and considering he seems to feed on Regulus' misery, he ends up smiling big, showing all of his teeth, before he gives James another affirmative reply and then he's handing the phone to Regulus.

He's convinced that Barty has never spoken this politely to James, but Regulus supposes that Barty is more than willing to put his hatred aside when the goal is to take the piss out of him.

Regulus clutches the phone and slowly, his hand shaking, he presses it to his ear. He doesn't say anything, but he lets out a shuddery exhale.

"Regulus?" James murmurs at the other side of the line, and the sound of his voice is nearly enough for him to drop the phone.

"Yeah?" he responds after a beat, the word coming out surprisingly calm.

"Finally done ignoring me?" James questions, and Regulus closes his eyes tight, turning away from Barty's figure. If he has to keep staring at him poorly repressing his laughter, he'll end up murdering him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Regulus sniffs.

"Oh, don't you?" James chuckles, amused, and Regulus hates the havoc that that mere noise wrecks inside his guts. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, love. I'm very flattered, you know?"

"I bet you are," Regulus bites back, glaring at nowhere in particular. "It really isn't what you think—"

"No? You haven't been taking screenshots of all my shirtless pics?"

"Not all of them were shirtless pics," Regulus complains weakly.

James laughs again, louder this time, and it fill his chest with warmth. "True. I think there was a couple of selfies, too."

"And that one pic with your little cousin," Regulus adds, because he hates himself, apparently.

Barty's cackles turn unbearable, and Regulus' fingers twitch around his phone. He's making a run for his room a second later, slamming the door right behind him, even though the walls are so thin he can still hear the faint sound of his best friend's laughter.

"Ah, yes," James hums, seemingly deep in thought. "That one threw me off a little."

"How so?"

"You see, I assumed you were just collecting wanking material—"

"James!" Regulus hisses through gritted teeth, so ridiculously flustered he feels mildy dizzy. "Don't be disgusting!"

"Nothing wrong with that," James rushes to say, and Regulus hates how sincere he sounds. How pleased.

"Really? You wouldn't find it weird? Knowing that I—that someone has masturbated to your pictures?"

"Well, have you?"

"You wish."

"I do," James retorts without missing a beat, always so shameless. "It'd make me feel better about all the times I've jerked off to the thought of you."

Regulus sits down on the edge of his bed, knees failing him and ears ringing. He swears he can feel his soul leaving his body.

"What?" he says, voice embarrasingly high-pitched.

"What?" James repeats it with a laugh, as if this is all very amusing to him. "Say, love, what are you wearing right now?"

Regulus pulls his phone away from his ear momentarily, blinking at the screen. The call is real, and still ongoing, even though Regulus is certain he must be imagining this whole conversation, because there's simply no way.

"No," he retorts robotically as soon as the phone is back against his ear.

"No?" James inquires, some hesitance slipping into his tone.

"We're not doing this," Regulus insists.

"And what's 'this', hmm?"

"You know what! I don't know what game you're playing, Potter, but I want no part in it."

"There's no game, love. I mean this."

"No, you don't."

"No offence, Reg, but I think I know what I want better than you do."

Regulus laughs, but it's nervous, and shaky, and forced. "And what do you want?" he asks, trying his best to sound as mocking as possible. Regulus isn't sure he does a good job. "Me?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I want you so bad it's actually driving me insane."

Regulus lets out a choked off noise, and the urge to throw his phone against the wall is so strong he has no idea of how he manages to supress it.

There's a moment of silence, and then, "Regulus," James calls him again, and he straightens up as a reflex. "What are you wearing right now?"

Regulus rolls his lower lip between his teeth, pressing his thighs together. "Just some shorts and one of Barty's shirts."

There's a sharp inhale of breath.

"I hate that," James grumbles, and Regulus can feel himself frown.

"Well, I'm sorry it's not anything sexy, but I wasn't expecting—"

"No, no, it's not that, love, you look gorgeous in everything."

Regulus puts the back of his hand over his mouth, despite the fact that there's no one to see his smile.

"Then?" he questions.

"I just—you're wearing his clothes."

"Who's? Barty's?" Regulus blinks a couple of times. "Yes, of course, he's my friend—"

"Just that? Just your friend?"

"Why, Potter? Are you jealous?"

"Reg—"

"Yeah, James," Regulus sighs, probably sounding more pleased than he should. "He's just a friend."

"Good. Good."

"You know, this talk isn't really turning me on."

James chuckles softly, and Regulus' cheeks hurt from how big he's smiling.

"Aw, man, really?" he whines, almost making Regulus laugh. "That's such a shame. I've been half-hard since we started talking."

"James!" Regulus scolds him, but it probably doesn't have the desired effect, considering his grin is basically audible.

"I'm serious!" he laughs, and Regulus shakes his head, leaning back until his back touches the bed. "It's not my fault your cock is so fussy—"

"Don't have a cock," Regulus answers without thinking.

James falls silent, and Regulus is about to take it back, laugh it off or even hang up without an explanation, but then James is speaking up again.

"A cunt, then," James says, and he sounds okay, casual, even if a little stiff. "Is that—are you comfortable with that word, or...?"

"Yeah," Regulus tells him softly, almost in a sigh. "I don't really mind that much, I just—I didn't want you to think—"

"It's completely fine, love. Really. Doesn't make any difference to me. And I know I shouldn't have assumed—"

"You're fine, James," Regulus reassures him, endlessly endeared by this ridiculous man.

"I'm glad, because I genuinely want to do this," James says quietly, like it's a secret. A confession only meant for Regulus' ears.

"And what's 'this'? Phone sex?"

"That, and a date."

Regulus stops breating. "A date?"

"A date," James affirms. "More than one, hopefully, but I'm trying not to push my luck."

"Aren't you doing this a bit backwards? Considering you're already attempting to get in my pants."

"Maybe. But I'm very impatient, and I've been waiting for this a while, love."

Regulus goes silent, pretending to think it over. James' tension is palpable even through the phone, and he delights a little in making him squirm for once.

"Okay," he ends up saying, hoping his enthusiasm isn't too obvious.

"Okay?" James repeats dumbly.

"Okay, I'll go on a date with you."

"Shit, really?" James sounds so excited it drags a giggle out of Regulus. "That's—fucking amazing, we're gonna have so much fun, Reg—"

"And about that phone sex," he goes on, casting a glance at his closed door, "you can call me again tonight, and then we'll see.

James' breath hitches on the other side of the line, and Regulus presses his legs even closer together. He hasn't felt this giddy in quite a long time.

Horny, too, but he thinks the wait will be more than worth it.

"Yeah?" James exhales.

"Yeah."

Regulus is already counting down the minutes.

[itsjaywalkers]

imagine reg not knowing how snapchat works and making an account just to follow and stalk james and he screenshots something not knowing james receives a notification

INO IM GIGGLING LIKE AN INSANE WOMAN YES !!! HE WOULD HE SO WOULD !!!! he'd think he's being so sneaky so subtle and that james is never going to know. he's just living his best life, drooling over this embarrassing but also insanely hot man, filling his secret album with screenshots and staring at them whenever he gets a chance

meanwhile u have james getting notification after notification from this one acc he doesn't recognise at first glance but when he goes to check and realises who the owner is . well . he might've just won the mf lottery

regulus getting a notification of james following him back and then getting a cheeky dm immediately after, something like "i already knew u liked what u see but i didn't know u liked it THIS much ;)" which results in reg throwing his phone to the other side of the room, a sense of dread filling him as he considers what new country he should move to

[itsjaywalkers]

189K WORDS?!!!!!!!

yeah.. i don't wanna talk about it..

[itsjaywalkers]

Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James Jealous James JEALOUS JAMES JEALOUS JAMES JEALOUS JA

i don't even have anything to add i'm glad to see we share the same values GIVE ME JEALOUS JAMES OR GIVE ME DEATH

[itsjaywalkers]

Regulus crying throwing up stressing james is fucking others meanwhile james is in bed kicking his feet making collages out of all the favorite pictures he secretly snapped of regulus counting the seconds to be called for a seventh time that evening

ino i don't think u realise how fucking accurate this is like . regulus is having a full on breakdown in barty's flat, head between his knees and dry-heaving, while barty watches in absolute bafflement (and considering if he should film the whole thing and send it to evan)

and then u have james pacing around his room, phone in hand, trying to talk himself into texting reg even tho it's only been 10 minutes since he sent him that cute cat vid that reminded him of him but james misses him sooooo much and maybe he should browse through some nice restaurants and make a reservation so he can treat reg to dinner and bring him some flowers too-

[itsjaywalkers]

⏳ what project(s) did you spend the most time on? and 🪅 brag about any project you want to! tell us why we should be reading it RIGHT NOW!!! <33

HELLO INO I MISS U INO I LOVE U INO <333

⏳ what project(s) did you spend the most time on?

the jeg bigbang fic without a doubt.. i mean, technically, and considering the amount of words it is, i wrote it really fucking quickly BUT i still spent months planning + writing it!! and i was writing every single day unless it was physically impossible so . i think it's safe to say i nearly died in the process (worth it tho)

i also spent quite a lot on luck came!! especially on ch 1!! not only bc it's quite long but also bc a barty pov was terrifying to me for some reason.. i have a very clear portrayal of him inside my head but i'm not used to writing from his perspective and he's a very complicated character?? but once i got the hang of it that story became a lot easier to write and now it's a fic that i just love working on!! so i'm excited to finish it soon hehe

🪅 brag about any project you want to! tell us why we should be reading it RIGHT NOW!!!

this is so hard.. i feel very weird bragging about my stories.. i think for jegulus everyone should be reading the nothing happens series bc it has a very interesting depiction of both james and reg and they're childhood friends to not quite lovers to not quite friends to lovers which means things are toxic and messy and so FUN <333 it's also a james-centric story so.. if there's any james girlies (gn) reading this.. this one's for u..

also!! all the violence!! one of the stories i'm the proudest of!! i love that universe and pandora is so Evil and so Sexy.. the corruption kink goes crazy in that one too and idk i think girls being violent and covered in blood is immensely hot!! there's stabbing and making out and implied cannibalism!! it has it all!! go read it NOW!!

end of year writer ask game

[itsjaywalkers]

when u get this u have to answer with 5 things u like about yourself, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite mutuals (non-negotiable, positivity is cool!)

hi ino baby <3 (ur also one of my fav mutuals <3) and omg i love these!! hmmm lemme think

i really like my smile!! i spent a lot of years when i was younger avoiding it or smiling close-mouthed bc i hated my teeth but i've grown to adore it and now i do it all the time!! and i think i look the prettiest when i do <3

i'm a good listener!! i love to hear any of my friends (or like . ppl in general) rant about anything they like, or complain about uni/jobs or even just . their opinions on things. i'm interested in everything they have to say, and i always pay attention and take whatever they wanna tell me seriously

i'm quite funny!! not as much in english bc well, it's not my first language, which means that sometimes i gotta think a bit before i open my mouth but !! a lot of ppl have told me i'm hilarious and quite witty in spanish

i'm good at making others feel comfortable!! maybe it's bc i'm shy and introverted and i've felt left out in groups before but i always do my best to make everyone feel included and be nice and kind and approachable so they feel like they can come to me if they need it

this is maybe gonna sound . silly . but i loooove my boobs. i've felt insecure about almost every single part of my body at least once but never my boobs. they're just so pretty <3 and they look so good Always <3

[itsjaywalkers]

pspspsps

hi ino baby.. i miss u and i love u.. how are u how's life treating u.. <3

[itsjaywalkers]

slips into your lap.... so.. overprotective james 4 huh

puts her hands on ur hips and steals a lil kiss.. overprotective james 4 indeed

as i've already mentioned, it's basically nothing happens part 4!! i'm trying to . not give too much away, but it's gonna have around 3?? 4 scenes??? and it's also when the explicit rating comes in!!

it includes a very jealous very unhinged james, reg's first time, a few fights (one of them physical), lots of cheating and bartylus!! (not that much bc this is all from james' pov but . still)

u can have a lil snippy bc i love you very much <3

“You didn’t even tell me you’re gay!” Regulus opens and closes his mouth a few times, no sound coming out of it. He squints his eyes at James, and after a couple of failed attempts, his face settles on a scowl.  “I don’t know if I am,” Regulus hisses, a clear warning in his tone that James ignores.  “Well, you’re with Barty now, so I’d say it’s pretty fucking obvious,” James responds with a derisive snort.  Regulus clenches his hands into fists. “I’m not sure what I am, James, and you can’t decide that for me. I like Barty, and yes, he’s a boy, but I don’t know if someday I’ll like a girl.” “So you’re what? Bisexual?” James questions, cocking his head to the side. “I told you, I don’t know!” Regulus exclaims, throwing his head back.  “But you’re not straight,” James insists.  “Obviously not!”  “And you couldn’t tell me that, at least?” “No, because I don’t owe you shit. I don’t have to come out to you if I don’t want to. This isn’t about you.”  “Of course it’s not about me, it’s about us—” “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me right now,” Regulus chuckles, but there’s no amusement in the noise. It’s bitter, and mean, and maybe even a little disappointed. It feels like a cut, and James is bleeding through so many places right now he doesn’t know which one he should try and cover first. “My sexuality has nothing to do with you, or us. It doesn’t involve anyone, but me.”

[itsjaywalkers]

kissy <3

kissy back <3 with tongue <3 in fact i'm straddling ur lap and the kissy is now a sloppy make out <333

[itsjaywalkers]

I just KNOW moneys signs appeared in front pandora’s eyes and the sound of a cash register opening nd closing when james was needy like that during the partner and reg calling him BABY

INO IM HOWLING BUT YOURE SO CORRECT LIKE . THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT FELT FOR PANDORA it was like she had just won the fucking lottery!! couldn't believe her luck for real!!

she took a gamble with reg and dorcas and never in her wildest dreams could have she predicted how well it was gonna turn out for her and her show..

[itsjaywalkers]

>Regulus has never been one to believe in cheesy shit like soulmates, but Dorcas might be the closest he’s ever gotten to having one. EUUUUUUUEUEEUEUEUEEEEEEE

completely forgot about that sentence quite literally gasped out loud IT'S TRUEEEEE THO THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH best friends ever in the whole wide world <3 she's the only person reg would go to temptation island with <3 peak soulmatism <333

[itsjaywalkers]

for boxer au.... do we get a little play sparring between reg and james....... do we..... something... that... mayhaps...... escalates to fucking (in the ring)

HIIIII INO <333

of course we do.. who do u take me for.. it's technically not even play sparring bc they're fighting and they're both . a lil angry . so reg starts pushing james, getting a bit aggressive and trying to get james to retaliate. but it does escalate to fucking in the middle of the ring <3 and the fact that it's kinda hate sex (even tho they definitely don't hate each other) makes it a lot better imo!!

[itsjaywalkers]

44 mins left nd then it's someone's bday......

JGFUOERWWG INOOOOO I FUCKING LOVE YOUUUUU it's.. 22 min now.. this is so weird i never know how to feel about my bday hhhhh

[itsjaywalkers]

would u kiss me

yes. without a second thought. in fact i WILL kiss u

[itsjaywalkers]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABHYYYY IM DRAGGING U INTO THE UTILITY CLOSET AT WORK FOR AN EARLY BDAY GIFT

INOOOO MY LOVE I FUCKING ADORE U WITH MY WHOLE HEART and the way i'm blushing giggling kicking my feet.. best way to start my bday.. can't wait to make out with u and then get my hands on-[GUNSHOTS]