#innocently asking questions for fact checking made me feel like an evil genious

[nencheese]

YOU! on ice

Fanfiction for the birthday of the lovely @s-under-s

Biggest thanks to @saturnwonder for editing!!

Pairing: Named reader x Sans

What to expect: Fluff, SFW, Shenanigans and ice skating, Sans is a little shit, 90s music

It was a nice Saturday afternoon and you and your friends had planned to meet up and go ice skating. The nerd part of the group (including you) had just recently finished watching the new, amazing anime Yuri!!! On ice and was burning to try out their “skills”. Well, mostly those who didn’t really do ice skating so far. You, having some experience from your childhood, knew your limits, unlike the others. You could do the most amazing, super fancy things: going forwards and going backwards. But it was nice to see people get excited, and the rest of your group would do things more casual anyways.

Currently, you were still waiting for the two animaniacs that initiated the whole thing, Undyne, and Alphys, Weeaboos grade A. They had wanted to gather some of their friends you didn’t know yet to join you, Alphys kept texting updates of their progress into the group chat.

BORN TO MAKE HISTORY

Small Al: We just gathered our friends. So sorry to keep you guys waiting, hope you don’t mind waiting too much. ^.^°

Small Al: I mean it’s sunny outside, so you should be nice and warm and not freeze. ^.^

Small Al: Wait omg don’t humans have like super sensitive skin sometimes?!!! And if you don’t put on sunscreen you get stuff like blisters and it will hurt and take ages to go away?!!!!! O.O

Small Al: I mean it’s still winter but… wait the snow should reflect the sunlight… >.>

Small Al: Sooo you’d be getting the double dose of sunlight, right?

Small Al: PLEASE TELL ME YOU PUT ON SUNSCREEN!!!! \°O°/

Cheesy Cameo: Al calm down, no one is getting burned and we are waiting in the shade anyways. No worries.

Small Al: Ok ok ok. We will be there in 5 minutes!

Cheesy Cameo: See nothing better than panicking to pass the time right :D

 You heard your friend call “Ey Jelly, are you coming? The others just realized they need skates, so we’re going to rentals now.” You raised your head, looking at your friends and sure enough the group was already heading inside. You nodded, catching up to them and shooting the others a short message.

BORN TO MAKE HISTORY

Cheesus: We are already heading inside now, a few of the group need to rent skates. Meeting you inside!

 Man, you’d never find out how in the world your friend managed to manipulate your phone into showing that ridiculous nickname instead of just showing “me”. Though you’d bet a good amount of money she somehow got Alphys to help. Smiling you paid your fee and quickly followed the others into the arena. There were already some people skating, hits of the 90s blasting as loud as the owners probably could without getting in trouble. Sitting down with the group you started to get dressed.

“Ha! Done!” Your friend exclaimed beside you. A glance revealed why: she wore plastic skates. “Don’t worry, I will wait for you except if they play Toxic. You know I can’t resist the dark side.” You laughed, already nearly done when the next song started, and just like a bad prophecy, it was Britney, “Sorry! Don’t be too jelly ok?” Your friend called out, already running onto the ice, nearly tripping over her own feet. Moron you thought, amused by her antics of dancing with the others. Not even a Moldsmal would call that a sexy wiggle.

As you finished tying your skates, you heard a sound like a horse running on bladed hooves, doors banging and Undyne screaming behind you. “WATCH OUT NERDS, WE’RE HERE!” Running past you in a split-second, she threw herself on the ice, Alphys in her arms. A tall skeleton monster, dressed for the occasion in lots of bright neon colors, ran after her. You couldn’t even make out what colors exactly he was wearing, it was just too bright. Apparently, all of them had already put on their entire skating outfits, including the skates, in the car. You hoped Undyne didn’t drive with those on.

They immediately joined the rest of your friends, who just had started a huge conga line, or, well, Undyne and the skeleton seemed to be pushing the rest of the group, the ones in front desperately trying not to crash into something or someone. You snorted, shaking your head. Maybe it would be best to wait until the next song, to avoid causalities. But where’s the fun in that? You decided to join them anyways. Not like things would get less crazy.

At least the monsters in your friend group seemed to know what they were doing, you had been worried since they told you they had only been ice skating a few times on a frozen pond, and that had sounded quite different from the ice skating you knew, because apparently, they were just sliding across the ice, trying to get a ball in a hole. But hey, you wished you actually gained money from ice skating too.

As you got up, you noticed another, shorter skeleton had sat down beside you during the shenanigans, grinning up at you now, while he blocked your path with his legs. “hey human. don’t you wanna greet a new pal?” He said, sticking his hand out to shake yours. You reached out to take it when you heard the first notes of “I will survive” and a memory shot through your head. Your eyes widened in recognition.

“Wait. Are you the guy Undyne warned me about? The one that always pranks his handshakes?” You asked, grabbing and inspecting his hand. Sure enough, a buzzer. “oh she warns people now? i’ll have to up my game. if it’s not too much effort. name’s sans. sans the skeleton.”

“Hey Sans. What a shocking introduction. Everyone calls me Jelly. Want to join the others now?” You said, waiting for him to move his legs.

“nah don’t think i can do that jells. but go on ahead without me.” You raised your eyebrows: So, there was a monster that couldn’t skate after all. Waiting here until all of you were done would be boring as fuck though. Smiling, you made up your mind. “Well, if you have a problem with skating, I can skate backward, so I can pull you until you learned to balance yourself if you want to!” you offered.

His grin widened a bit before he answered, “sure pal. mind helping me up?” he asked.

“Oh no of course not!” Reaching for his hand to pull him up you felt a shock when you touched his hand. Baffled, you just stood still for a second, eyes wide, when you realized that OF COURSE he still held the friggin buzzer. You took his hand even though you knew. A snort got you back into reality. “heh. seems like I don’t need to worry about getting new tricks after all. sorry, i’ll pocket it for now.” He said, taking the buzzer off.

You let out an amused huff. “Pfft. I ran right into that one. Let’s hope I’ll do better while skating. Come on let’s go.” You laughed, really pulling him up this time and making your way to the arena. Oddly enough he was already wearing skates too. Though, Undyne probably threatened not to let him into her car without them.

After you got on the ice you held out your hand for him to take. He was already standing on the ice, steady, but with one hand on the railing. In one swift motion he released the railing grabbed your other hand, looking pretty relaxed. Maybe he’ll get the hang of it soon, you thought, as you started to skate backwards.

Half an hour later you were still pulling him. The two of you had nearly crashed about 15 times, with him always only warning you last second, and whenever you had asked something like “Feeling up to do it alone now?” he had answered “nah, thanks.” while gripping your hands a bit tighter. But on the plus side, he kept you entertained with puns, though most of them had been plain horrible.

You noticed your friends starting to leave the ice for a break and some hot beverages.

“Let’s catch a break too ok?” You asked Sans, already going towards the exit.

“k jells.” he acknowledged, the both of you getting out and sitting down at the bench, next to the other skeleton.

“OH HELLO OTHER HUMAN FRIEND! I DIDN’T HAVE A CHANCE TO INTRODUCE MY AMAZING SELF TO YOU YET! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! YOU SEEM TO ALREADY BE WELL ACQUAINTED WITH MY BROTHER, SANS, SO I WON’T HAVE TO INTRODUCE YOU TWO I GUESS. ANYWAYS!! ANYONE WILLING TO PUT UP WITH THE LAZINESS OF MY BROTHER FOR THIS LONG HAS TO HAVE AN ADMIRABLE STAMINA AND A GENTLE SOUL, SO IT’S A PLEASURE TO PROPERLY MEET YOU!” he announced.

You blinked. Even though you already heard him on the ice, that voice was even louder now, sitting next to him, but it didn’t derail you for too long as you stuck your hand out to shake Papyrus’ “Well it’s a pleasure to meet you too! Everyone calls me Jelly so…” Wait. He said… Did that mean…

You abruptly turned towards the shorter skeleton. “Sans. This might be a strange question, but… do you know how to ice skate?”

“of course i do buddy.” He answered, laughter barely hidden. You curled into yourself, hands over your head and groaned. You could barely hear his brother lecturing him about laziness and the etiquette of using friends, silently recalling every time you talked about his inability to skate. He didn’t say he couldn’t skate once. Not even a hint. You didn’t ask if he could once. You just assumed, and he not only knew but he kept it going because he was friggin lazy.

“I WALKED RIGHT INTO THAT ONEEEEEEE.” You started laughing, startling them both. After coming down from your laughing fit, you returned your attention to Papyrus, “Ah Papyrus, thanks for defending me, but that was honestly my fault for just assuming. Though maaan you knew exactly what I was thinking right?” you inquired, and Sans, not being able to hold back his laughter anymore answered, “sure did.”

You groaned again. “Ok ok that’s borderline genius. But I’m afraid I don’t really have the energy to pull you the rest of the day. You’ll have to trick someone else now.”

“meh not that bad. had a pretty good run with you. though i guess i could treat you to a hot choc or something later, to make up for wasted energy. i mean, as pap just lectured me it’s only polite.”

You peaked up at that. Hot chocolate? Hell yeah.

“I think I’d like that” you answered, smiling. This was the beginning of something punderful.