#infomercial core

[eiightysixbaby]

pretty please may i request some fem pregnant reader x jonathan? 🥺 like she is weak and sore but she really needs him and wants him to carry her so she can feel light and not so big. maybe if you could include body insecurity as well? used to be thin and am not anymore.

hi lovely of course u can!! jonathan would be the sweetest ever while you’re pregnant no one can convince me otherwise. i hope i didn’t read this wrong by putting some light spice in here 👀

18+ please cw: pregnancy, mentions of weight gain, body insecurity, light smutty content

You hunch over on the sofa, making an honest attempt to retrieve the TV remote that had fallen to the floor in front of you. What once was an easy task now has you contorting into awkward positions, your six-month-pregnant belly serving as a barricade between you and the little black remote.

You give up with an exasperated huff, plopping backwards into a normal sitting position once more. Just that one simple bit of movement has your body screaming, aching all over with a soreness that’s never really left since you hit the five-month mark.

You glower at the television, now stuck on some stupidly long infomercial, as if it had personally wronged you. You rest a hand on your protruding belly, frowning slightly as you rub it in a single circular motion.

You feel huge. You’re swollen in places you didn’t know could swell, you have extra weight in places you aren’t used to having it. It’s been getting harder and harder to feel confident in your skin, and when simple tasks like picking the remote up off the floor become impossible, your self-confidence plummets even further.

Frustrated tears begin to well up in the corners of your eyes, your mouth feeling dry as you wail out softly. “Jonathan?”

You aren’t sure if he heard you, ready to actually succumb to full-blown crying, but then he comes bounding into the living room.

“Yeah? Woah, what’s wrong, baby?” he asks, his expression flipping to one of concern the instant he sees your big sad eyes.

“Can’t get the remote off the floor, ‘m too big,” you whimper, wiping your nose with your hand.

“Angel, it’s okay. I can get it for you,” he offers, the saint that he is, but all you do is groan.

“I’m blown up like a balloon! I can’t do anything anymore,” you sniffle, trying as hard as you can to fend off a heavy sob session. “I feel so… so ugly, and useless. Everywhere hurts, and moving around is so awful because my belly is so heavy, everything feels so heavy.”

Jonathan is quick to come over to your side, listening patiently to your well-justified rant. But what he’s not about to do, is let you continue to feel insufficient.

“Baby,” he says softly, tilting your chin up with his index finger, so you’re looking at him. “You’re the furthest thing from ugly. You’re so beautiful. Arguably even more beautiful than before, because you’re carrying our child, and I know that’s no easy task.”

You sniffle, letting him caress your face. “I just don’t feel that way right now.”

“Let me show you, then? Let me show you how beautiful I think you are. Let me make you feel good.”

It’s like a switch flips, his words bringing a throbbing sensation to your core. Having his hands, his lips, his tongue on you sounds so good you could start crying all over again, for an entirely different reason.

You nod, whimpering out an “Mhm.”

He cracks a smile, bringing his hands down to gently rub your stomach. “Come on, then. Let’s get you to the bed.”

“Will you carry me?” you ask him as he stands, your body too sore and weak to make the idea of walking sound appealing.

Plus, though you don’t want to admit it out loud, having him carry you will surely ease your mind about your growing size. If he can hold you like he used to, then surely it isn’t as drastic a change as you think.

He bends down to pick you up without a second thought, and he lifts you off the couch with ease. You can’t help but let out a content sigh at the fact he didn’t have to strain to pull your weight. He makes you feel so light, so small. It also feels fucking great to be transported to the bedroom without your feet aching with every step.

Heart thrumming in your chest, he sets you down on the mattress gently, and in an instant he’s crawling over you. His eager but gentle hands lift the fabric of your shirt over your bump, his mouth pressing kisses to the stretched skin. He’s careful, conscious of how badly your body hurts near-constantly, and his hesitance to hurt you further shows in his tender actions.

He works his way up, tugging the hem of the shirt higher and higher as he goes. When he reaches your breasts, he lets his tongue lave over each of your nipples. The sensation of his warm mouth sends shockwaves through you, your body shuddering. Your boobs unfortunately didn’t miss the memo as far as bodily pain goes, and they’ve been aching extra the last week. Jonathan’s soft hands with their gentle squeezes serve as a sharp contrast to the uncomfortable pangs you’ve been subjected to lately.

The way he touches you makes you feel like you could melt into the mattress, like your body is nothing more than molten caramel, oozing into a puddle.

“So fucking gorgeous,” he murmurs, his words separated by kisses to your skin. “Most perfect girl I’ve ever seen in my life,” he praises, finally joining your mouths together.

You feel a lump in your throat, but in a happier way this time. His affection for you makes you feel special beyond words, easing your doubts and insecurities. Even if they’re bound to come back at times, you can take comfort in the fact that he’ll always be here to ease your worrying mind.

“Love you so much,” you tell him, bumping your nose against his.

“I love you even more,” is his soft reply, his eyes adorably crinkled with his smile. “I feel so lucky that I get to watch as you change through this whole process. It’s so special,” he says, letting his kisses trail back down to your breasts, then to your stomach.

“Jon,” you giggle, a watery sound with a new round of impending tears you’re trying to keep at bay. “Getting all soft on me.”

“It’s just the truth. You’re so perfect and I’m so lucky to have you.”

You let a few happy tears drip down your cheeks, wiping them away with the back of your hand. You let out a pleased hum when his attention dips beneath your stomach, his hands pulling your pajama bottoms down. He continues his trail of kisses, down down down, until he’s pressing one directly onto your pussy. You shiver at the contact, your walls clenching once around nothing.

“Gonna worship you like you deserve, angel. Never gonna let you forget how beautiful you are,” he murmurs from between your thighs, his pretty brown eyes gazing longingly up at you.

And damn, you’d be a fool not to sit back and let him do his thing.

[darlingsfandom]

“Witch Hunt!”

kinktober day eight

pairing : fem Crowley! x fem reader!

tw: demon lesbian sex, fingering, biting, semi-somo! Swearing.

There’s always been stories that witches, dark souls, lovers of sin and even the devil exist to which you bought into so you could save your soul from the pits of hell but the old saying of curiosity killed the cat got the best of you.

The night was cold, windy and rainy allowing the rain the pound against your bedroom window. The glow from your tv playing some infomercial played quietly , highlighting your natural beauty she stood in the corner watching you sleep like she did every night for the last five months. You never seen her, heard her, smelled her… nothing! She was just the figure that watched you. You were her prize even if you didn’t know it .

Crowley watched as you turned onto your back letting small snores escape you. She chewed her bottom lip, stepping quietly towards you until her fingers could grab the end of your blanket and pull it off you so slowly that you’d ever notice. Your nightgown had bunched around your hips showing off your cotton heart panties that made her sigh. You were so innocent, so gorgeous , she knew angles existed and you should be on of them. She placed her hand gently on your hip as she sat down on the edge of your bed trying her best not to wake you. You either slept hard enough a tornado could rip through and not notice or you slept light enough that a mouse squeak would alarm you and lucky for her you were passed out peacefully.

Her nails ran up your thigh making them twitch.

“Oh sweet girl, so pure and delicate…” her body pushed against yours as she got between your legs. “Just wait until I tear you apart.” Her teeth sunk into your inner thigh making you jolt forward.

“What the hell??” You gasped holding your chest as she sat up to lick her bloody lips. Her yellow eyes looked right into yours which struck you to your core. How? Why? The feelings inside of you swirled like a terrible cocktail.

“Relax, I got you where I want you my sweet girl.” Crowley grabbed your knees and pulled them apart making you whine. Your head felt heavy almost foggy like as her hands reached up, pulled your panties off and her fingers ran over your folds.

“No no, I … girls aren’t supposed to touch girls!” You whimpered but it wasn’t a whimper of fear, it was a whimper of pleasure. Your own tone shocked you because after all sex before marriage was a sin! Lesbian demon sex would be the ultimate sin.

“Oh silly girl! You’ve been living a lie and you know it.” Crowley pressed her lips against yours as her long fingers collected the wetness growing on you. Her fingers were slick enough to slide inside of you with ease but the stretch was new. “I know you’re not that innocent , I know you’ve touched yourself so many times to very interesting porn.” Her words made you whimper again but the guilt of the truth made you look away until you realized she was still staring you down. “And you know you’ll feel so much better once you submit to me.”

“I can’t submit to the devil!” You blurted trying to act like you weren’t enjoying her fingering you.

“That’s very cute but I am not the devil honey, nor am I an angel. But you, you’re an angel who deserves what she deserves.” Her mouth placed open kisses on your pulse point in your neck. Your body gave into the pleasure she was providing. Your body went limp when her teeth sank into the pulse points. Her fingers felt better than what you’ve ever imagined and better than your own.

Crowley loved how you were melting below her. Her mouth turned into a smirk as she used her thumb to rub your clit which made you grip onto your sheets. “Don’t stop please!” Your toes curled as Crowley fingered you faster making you cry out. You sounded so pretty, so needy and pathetic. She had studied you for so long, waited for ages and finally she had you below her submitting without any hesitation anymore.

“Oh honey, you’re clenching my fingers so tight. Do you need to cum pretty girl? Yeah? That’s a good girl.” Her voice was thick and hot making you shut your eyes until you felt another sharp sting of her teeth in your flesh. “ eyes on me honey! Gotta see who’s making you feel so good!” Crowley pumped harder while adding pressure onto your clit. You couldn’t hold back anymore and your orgasm ripped through your body making your hips fly forward.

“FUCK!” You cried out with tears falling down your cheeks.

“That’s a good girl.” Crowley slowly pulled out her fingers. Your body fell back down with a soft thud. You laid there panting as she sat next to you licking her fingers clean. “Don’t think you’re done yet sweet girl, I’ve waited for so long to take what’s mine and now you’re mine.”

[lol-jackles]

Would CW want to work with Jared and extend a holding deal to develop another project so another network like CBS couldn’t take him away?

If they did, should Jared accept it even with all his friends blasting the CW on social?

CW may but Jared has much better options.

The best case scenario for new CW is they go the USA network route. USA network was mocked for decades due to their endless game shows, cheesy tv movies, infomercials, and edited soft core porn movies. Then in 2005 they started have good original programming for the next 15 years called the Blue Sky era: Burn Notice, Monk, Psyche, and Suits.

[jgf444]

Mavericks: Prologue

Ok so this is a story I’m making that takes some inspiration from transformers(The Bayverse and only the good parts), Men in Black, and pieces from The Fifth Element. Basically I’m making a science fiction action movie script. Enjoy!

Prologue

[Visual: We zoom in on a flat screen TV in a dark room. The static flickers a bit before a company logo, I.E.E. Innovative Entertainment Enterprises, appear on screen, with a nice little jingle along with it. The symbol is a cube inside a see through 3D Triangle. The screen slowly covers the entire screen.]

“I.E.E, for the visionary in yoouuuuu!”

[Visual: A blond woman in a white flight attendant uniform walks into a white room and faces the screen with a friendly, almost too cherry smile. Cheery upbeat music is playing throughout the entire infomercial.]

Naya:

“Hello, future citizen! My name is Naya Current, your guide for the day. If you are seeing this digital message on whatever electronic device you have with you, you are currently entering the greatest city on the planet, the one and only, Aurora!”

(the real city is this, but with a lot less plant life a and way up above the clouds)

Naya: 

“Here we have it folks! Your new home for hopefully the rest of your joyful lives! Witness the pinnacle of both technology and nature as Aurora history is a large and grand as the city your eyes are staring at right now!”

[Visual: Little animations appear on screen to depict the history of Aurora. Think The Infographic Show’s animations but with more detail and motion.]

Naya(Voiceover): 

“Long ago, in the year 2006, our great founders Dr Cornelius Bulb and Professor Barter Dixnous were just regular young scientists at Harvard, when they found the remains from a meteor from space that sank an entire island. In the ruins, they found a beacon of the future and changed the world as we know it today, thanks to one miracle energy source: Etheron!”

[Visual: A 3D giant shining white shard appears on the screen.]

Naya(Voiceover): What can’t this little guy do? It doesn't use the remains of dead animals or plants, it’s almost completely self-charging, meaning it sometimes just needs other sources of energy to keep on ticking, and it’s 100% renewable. Even if the Etheron from one shard is used up, it still can be used for strengthening other Etheron! Unfortunately, Etheron didn’t catch on immediately, and soon, in the year 2011, the overuse and abuse of other types of energy nearly destroyed the earth as we know it… 

But, the Etheron both Bulb and Dix underwent a miracle of legendary proportions, as they managed to gather it all together and combine to create the very thing that keeps this city floating: The Ether Core. 

[Visual: A large glowing white ball is shown to be inside the center of the island that holds the city.]

Naya(Voiceover):

“With that, and with the Eneron Core using the same island it destroyed as Aurora’s ground, left the ruined earth below forever  and came to the sky twice the size of Texas and with an infinite energy source to boot! We never really knew what happened too that world we left behind.”

“Now in the year of 2674, you can see that it’s hard to take of a city the size of a nation. But you can rest easy knowing it’s gotten a whole lot easier with our best friends. Robots.”

[Visual: The screen flickers again as a headline reading Robots: The Best Of Us]

Naya (Voiceover):

“Robots do our shopping. They cook for us. Serve our meals. Clean for us. Offer emotional support. They take good care of us.”

[Visual: A bright, animated scene of an orange robot with large clunky eyes on a wheel, washing dishes. The robot then appears unclogging a shiny gray toilet, then sweeping trash from the streets with precision. The robot whirs happily.]

Naya (Voiceover):

“They even help us with things we don’t really want to do anymore.

[Visual: The cheerful robot suddenly gets hit by a speeding car, breaking into pieces as screws and bolts fly in all directions.]

Naya (Voiceover, cheerfully):

“Don’t worry! Even if our robots fall to pieces, they will be treated with the utmost dignity and honor. Theyll be put to rest in the lower world below, with the rest of their brethren.”

[Visual: A garbage truck slowly dumps broken robot debris off the edge of the city, into a swirling abyss below. The camera zooms in on a robot’s severed head, which winks at the camera. A severed hand next to it raises a thumbs up.]

Naya (Voiceover, with a chuckle):

“Rust in pieces, guys. Rust in pieces.” [Cue Laugh track]

[Visual: The screen suddenly turn black out of seemingly nowhere.]

“Now, some unfortunate and troubled robots are not interested in helping this great city grow and helping out their fellow man or machine.”

[Visual: A red warning message flashes on screen: Warning. This real live footage of robbery by android may disturb small children and certain people. Viewer discretion is advised.]

[Visual: We cut to security footage of a bank when it’s business as usual until an explosion blows the doors off their hinges and rocks the entire building. A 9 feet tall dark blue robot with an athletic humanoid shape, really the only thing different was the steam coming out of multiple holes in his metallic body, the multiple robotic details on his body (think Jaegers except not as many lights, a lot more flexibility and leaner design), and the fact that he had a large circular light that changes colors based on his emotions, storms into the building and slams his hands on the desk, cracking it a bit and scaring the bank tellers. His voice was loud and angry, and he sounded like he had a shard of glass lodged into his foot at all times.]

???: 

“WHERE IS IT?!”

Female Bank Teller(Scared):

 “W-What? I… don’t understand-“

???: 

“WHERE….IS….THE….MONEY? UNDERSTAND?!?”

The sound of the very angry robot's voice cracks the glass in front of the bank teller, frightening her even more. A security officer walks up to the robot holding a badge.

Officer:

 “Okay buddy, I understand you’re not very happy. But you’re disturbing the public and threatening our staff, so I’m gonna have to ask you to leav-“

???: 

“SHUT UP!!”

[Visual:The robot’s hand morphs into an arm cannon that charges up and blasts the man in the chest, with the bank teller screaming in horror.]

[Visual: Cut to the same robot stomping through the streets, crushing cars and smashing walls while escaping two  police cars . He turns towards them in the middle of the road and growls angrily.]

???:

“Die, you pathetic skin-puppets!”

[Visual:His left shoulder opens up to reveal a miniature cannon that launches grenades at the cars, blowing them up along with blowing a few pedestrians away. The blue robot laughs in victory before climbing onto a brick building, beating at his chest and roaring at the people below.]

Naya(Voiceover, disheartened:)

“We do not know why these beloved robots go rogue, nor do we think the reason will be found anytime soon. What we do know…”

[Visual: The robot is suddenly sent flying by a missile blast into a nearby ice cream truck, crashing into it.] 

Naya(Voiceover, hopeful): “is that we have saviors on our side. We have Mavericks.”

[Visual: Another robot walks out of the smoke created by the missile to reveal an 8’7 feet tall Cyborg with thick iron legs supporting a large raven black steel chest sporting an orange core in the center with a surprising human head on top of the torso, a white bearded head that was just the right size to be on the of middle age, gruff visage and of slightly flabby features, like he was in a war for the better part of a decade and he was very fond of high fat food. The most striking feature is that he had black sclera and green irises and he had black armor at his neck and the upper part of his head(covering forehead and hair). He also seemed to have a cigar in his mouth. He retracts the rocket launcher from his back and walks toward the crawling blue robot. He spoke with a rough, militant, and passive tone, like he didn’t take the other bot seriously, and looks at a digital screen on his arm.]

???:

“D-5457. Factory Worker Bot. Recently broke out a couple weeks ago and now has gone on a rampage throughout the northern part of the Delta area. Crimes are: Grand Theft Auto, Property Damage, Assault, Assault with a Deadly Weapon, Assault Resulting in Bodily Harm, Homicide against both Human and Machine Life, Theft, Murder, and Battery. Apparently calling yourself “Drill-Jaw” now. Good for you.”

[Visual: Drill-Jaw spits out a bit of oil as he get to his feet, glaring at the other robot in fury]

Drill-Jaw:

“Steel-Pack. Heard around town there was a bounty on your head. 500,000 cads, they say. Wonder if they pay extra for bringing the head in.”

Steel-Pack,chuckling a bit): 

“So, you know how to joke. I’m gonna put that on the personal comments. Funny.”

[Cue: Ballroom Blitz-Sweet]

[Visual: Driil-Jaw roars in anger and wipes off an ice cream cone off his head before unsheathing a red blade from his dorsal side on his right hand and charging towards Steel-Pack with it, who morphs his hand into an iron battle axe with bright orange edges and expertly blocks Drill-Jack’s sword before grabbing his wrist and pulling him forward, allowing Pack to break Jaw’s arm, causing him to scream in pain]

Drill-Jaw: 

“AAARGH!”

[Visual: Jaw uses his good arm to morph into a cybernetic cannon fire a dark blue energy blast at Pack, who dodges it with ease as it blows up a nearby car and transforms his own hand into a gun and proceeds fires multiple energy rounds at Jaw, who takes considerable external damage from the attack, bringing him to his knees. Jaw sees a nearby lamppost, rips it off the ground, and attacks Pack with it, who catches the weapon, crushing it and, using tiny thrusters in his dorsal side, gut-punches Jaw, who coughs a bit before falling face first on the ground. Flying police cars land on the ground soon after, and a man in a black suit comes out.]

Police Official Jones: 

“Looks like you had this one handled. Unlike the two men we sent.”

Steel-Pack: 

“Jones, what happened to the reinforcements I requested? Why was there only two police cars in pursuit?”

Jones: 

“Some recent recruits thought they ‘had in the bag’ and that ‘It wouldn’t take long.’ Rookies.”

Steel-Pack:

“They endangered nearby civilians and buildings for their own egos. See to it they get janitorial duties for the rest of the month.”

Jones:

“Already on it. Good work, by the way.”

Steel-Pack:

“Just my job, officer.”

[Visual: We freeze frame on Pack in a black and white filter as a camera snap is heard in the background]

Naya(Voiceover):

“Law enforcement. Warriors. Heroes. Mavericks are the brave men and women, human or mechanical, who have the wills and the skills to protect the people of this great city. But how do we get these great fighters?”

[Visual: An animation depicting the creation of Mavericks is shown on screen]

Naya(Voiceover):

Through a process created in the year 2047, a system still considered revolutionary today, brave individuals can volunteer for their lives to be changed forever as robotic parts and Cores, the engines of these saviors, are transplanted into their already exceptional bodies, minds, and souls, turning them into real life superheroes and protectors of the innocent. They were here when Aurora first was founded, and we pray they will always be here to protect us all.

[Visual: We are shown a silhouetted group of Mavericks in the distance of a sunset surrounded by grass as epic swelling music begins to play. Cut to a black screen. The camera shows the head of a humanoid skeletal frame made of metallic parts, that is slowly covered by pale white sinew reminiscent of real human muscle until it forms a face, captured in detail from side and high angles. A steel helmet with one strip for eyes (think of the robocop) is put on the face, then the visor glows blue. Next, the camera jumps to the low-angle view of the side of the skeletal body, same thing happens, artificial sinews form the shape of the body, then covered by metal plates that glow blue as it's fitted into the robot. The next is the legs. After that the camera zooms out dramatically to show not just one, but a silhouetted line of similar robots (with slight differences) against bright blue lighted letters that spell out the words: MAVERICKS]

[theriskyredhead]

June 21, 2024

Dear diary,

My husband (24M) and I (24F), were chatting tonight about core memories. We were watching Frankenstein and giggling about the memories he had growing up watching the movie with his grandparents.

I told him stories of my first bedroom tv when I was 12 years old, it was a small blue box tv with a dvd player. I watched movies every night before cell phones and social media were consuming all my energy.

Things were so simple, when I finally had cable I would wake up at 2am to the infomercials trying to sell some overly priced makeup item.

Life was so innocent, my body knew how to follow in rhythm with my brain. I colored pictures at my desk and made floor plans for the treehouses I wanted my dad to build. Growing up didn’t seem so scary, it seemed like a grand opportunity for adventure.

Little twelve year old me, I promise to live this life as an adventure. I promise to climb trees and paint pictures and spin around in pretty dresses.

-theriskyredhead

[dragonmuse]

Ohhhh today’s “more to the story” was so moving. I always love Lucius and Jim, but this one really hit at the core of them in the mainverse.

Do they ever acknowledge their role as protectors? To each other, to the family, to the spirit of the revenge? I could see them having a tequila-fueled moment of truth.

(excellent question! This takes place in the after party of Eddy and Stede's wedding. )

“I can’t feel my nose,” Lucius pressed his finger into the tip of it. 

“Natural side effect,” Jim grinned. 

There was wedding detritus all around them and they were both still partially in their best people suits. Lucius’ tie was undone, Jim’s gone entirely and their shirt unbuttoned deep enough to show off a sliver of black fabric beneath. There was a bottle of tequila that was distressingly low between them. Someone had changed out the music for something sweeter and lower. John and Frenchie were doing a slow waltz around the floor, Frenchie smiling up at him with all the love in the world. 

Oluwande and Roach were picking at the last of the cake, in deep conversation. Buttons had gathered a crowd of other straggler guests around them and was regaling them with a story that involved a lot of sudden hand gestures. Pete kept jumping in with even wilder gestures, apparently trying to add details that Button had misplaced.  The Swede was also dancing like a reed in the corner of the floor all on his own, a beatific smile on his face. 

The beautiful couple had gone an hour ago, leaving the wreck behind. An actual cleaning crew was coming in tomorrow, so just for tonight, Lucius didn’t have to even pretend to worry about tidying and Jim wasn’t bustling around fixing up odds and ends. So they had washed up here, sitting on the stage, surveying their territory with Jim’s favorite tequila and nary a shot glass to be found. 

“I get why you like it,” Lucius took another swig, grimaced, licked salt off his hand and then sucked at the last possible ghost of lime juice out of a much abused slice. Jim took it from him, did the same without any change in facial expression. “It’s like putting your brain into a very nice blender.” 

“One of those thermo ones that also make risotto,” Jim agreed. 

“Late night infomercials?” 

“You know it.” 

“I like risotto,” Lucius nodded. “Izzy makes a great one.” 

“He cooks?” 

“He’s like a little domestic goddess as long as you don’t look directly at him,” Lucius laughed. “It’s amazing. Cooks, cleans, does the laundry, but if you even mention it too hard, he freezes up and grumbles forever about it.” 

“Huh,” Jim slowly collapsed backwards, landing over Lucius’ legs. “You’re comfortable.” 

“That’s why I don’t work out. To keep myself pillow soft.” 

“Good idea,” they yawned, hair spilling over his thighs. “It went good.” 

“The wedding? Yeah,” he agreed, leaning back on his hands. “I never want to do it again,  but it came off. Thanks for the help with the set up.” 

“Yeah, no problem. We’re a team,” they said quietly as if they were testing the waters. 

Lucius blinked, then grinned down at them. “Hell yeah we are.” 

“Don’t get excited,” but they were smiling a little too.  

“I’ll get as excited as I want, thanks muchly.” 

Jim went quiet for a while and Lucius was a little hypnotized by all the lights. He hadn’t gotten this drunk two nights in a row in a long time and he had a feeling he was going to regret it at some point. Right now it just felt marvelously swimmy. 

“I don’t do that,” Jim said abruptly. 

“Do what?” Lucius zoned back in. 

“I don’t work with someone else.”

“Uh, I mean you and Oluwande are like a power couple,” he pointed out. “I love Pete, but if he tried to throw a knife at me, it’d be game over.” 

“That’s different,” they frowned, “not what I meant.” 

“Okay. What’d you mean then?” 

“I don’t...share the perimeter.” 

“Huh,” Lucius sat up a little straighter. It took a second to sink in, but he thought he understood. “Yeah. I never have either. Never had anyone I could trust to do it. But I do. Trust you.” 

“Me too,” they said solemnly. “Don’t fuck it up.” 

“Right back at you.” 

They made eye contact. It was a rare thing with Jim, and Lucius took it to heart. They gazed up at him, trusting him with their throat, with their safety, with their life in some ways. He hoped he was clear in offering that right back. 

Fuck he was drunk. 

“Pound it out,” Jim held up a fist and Lucius laughed, tapping it with his own. 

“Amazing. Sealed with a fist kiss, just what I always wanted.” 

There were still flowers everywhere. By the time he staggered home, Lucius had managed to stick a black rose into his own hair and one in Jim’s button hole. They waved goodbye to each other and staggered in oppisote directions home.

“It was gorgeous, babe,” Pete said from under his arm, only mostly holding him up. Sober after last night’s escapades, Pete seemed very solid at the moment. Lucius popped a kiss on the top of his head. 

“Thanks. I’d say it was because they were so in love, but fuck ‘em. I did a great job.” 

“You did,” Pete laughed. “What were you and Jim talking about?” 

“Oh,” Lucius grinned, “mostly about tequila. Then I was mostly just talking at them. You know how they are.” 

“Yeah, you just got a little mushy saying goodbye.”

“Weddings make me sentimental,” Lucius nodded. “They remind me of our special day.” 

“So they’ve made you sentimental since October?” Pete teased. “Ancient nostalgia.” 

“Almost six months. Hey! We should do something for our anniversary.” 

“What do you want to do?” Pete asked, clearly humoring him. 

“Dunno.  Just saying. Something.” 

“I’ll brainstorm.” 

“You have a great brain. It’s very sexy. Storm away.” 

“Will do, babe, will do.” 

Lucius and Jim didn’t ever really talk about it again. They certainly didn’t tell anyone else. Just a handful of words, but they had been encoded with information. With understanding. 

Stede was Lucius’ best friend if he were made to rank such things. But his closest friend was Jim after that, unspoken, but true.

[monstresansmerci]

IMPORTANT EFFING HEADCANONS TO PONDER

CAN THEY USE CHOPSTICKS?

Yes, but for humor’s sake will often use them hilariously bad at first.

WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN THEY CAN’T SLEEP?

She will call Eddie to see if he was up too. If she doesn’t get an answer, she will pop on her headphones and listen to loud music and dance around her room. Or smoke. Or masturbate. Or take a drive.

WHAT WOULD THEY IMPULSE BUY AT THE GROCERY STORE?

Stuff she normally wouldn’t eat. Whatever apples that are in season. Hershey Kisses.

THEIR COFFEE ORDER:

Black, normally. But if she can get away with it, load that shit with hazelnut and cream and sugar. 

WHAT SORT OF APPS WOULD THEY HAVE ON THEIR SMARTPHONE?

Twitter, Instagram, FB, TikTok, Tinder, Bumble, good music apps, Candy Crush, food delivery apps, Reddit, her bank. Honestly she needs to leave her phone alone more.

HOW DO THEY ACT AROUND CHILDREN?

She is going to be the Eccentric Wine Aunt for all her niblings, and any other kids she comes across. Ice cream for dinner. Horror movies. Curfews are for commies.

WHAT WOULD THEY WATCH ON TV WHEN THEY’RE BORED AND NOTHING THEY REALLY LIKE IS ON?

Infomercials. Ancient alien documentaries. Telenovelas. Soap operas. Soft-core porn on Cinemax.

tagged by: Hank @creelsclocks tagging: @edhellfire | @dontstepinmypuddle | @the-blackened-dove | @spinxeret | @guiltburdened

[streetdumpster]

drinking a putrid coors light while watching compilations of infomercials i am wretched to my very core

[enterprisewired]

Simply Fit Board: From Shark Tank Sensation to $160 Million Success Story

( Source- bustle.com )

Did you know that the Simply Fit Board sold over 300,000 units within a few weeks of its Shark Tank debut? Now you must be wondering what is Simply Fit Board. Is it related to fitness? You’re almost there. It is a light and easy-to-use balance board that makes the workout fun and effective, focusing on core and balance. The company’s mission is “to help everyone take the first step to fitness.” 

Let’s discuss this workout board that has sold $160 million in retail sales in just 6 years after airing on Shark Tank. 

Simply Fit Board: It’s Beginning

Linda Clark and Gloria Hoffman came up with a simple vision: to build a product that makes exercising at home more enjoyable. With years of hard work, they made a balance board that helps people strengthen their core and improve balance. In 2013, they launched it publicly, but the big change came when it was introduced on the big stage of Shark Tank. By then, sales had increased rapidly, and products were being sold in 50,000 retail stores worldwide.

Simply Fit Board: Explanation 

It is a balance board designed for fitness and exercise. It features a curved, plastic board that allows users to twist, balance, and engage their core muscles while standing on it. The board can be used for various exercises aimed at improving balance, strength, and flexibility. It’s marketed as a fun and easy way to work out at home and has been popularized through its appearance on the TV show “Shark Tank.” The Simply Fit Board is lightweight, portable, and suitable for people of all fitness levels.

Features and Benefits of Simply Fit Board 

Core Workout: It helps strengthen your belly and lower back muscles by making them work harder to keep you balanced.

https://enterprisewired.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/1.2.-Source-youtube.com-.jpg

Improves Balance: It makes it easier to stay steady on your feet and helps you move more smoothly.

Gentle on Joints: It’s easy on your knees and other joints because it doesn’t involve jumping or hard impacts.

Portable: It’s easy to carry around because it’s small and light, so you can use it at home or take it with you when you travel.

Versatile: You can use it for different exercises, like squats or twisting movements, to work on different body parts.

Durable: It’s made from strong materials that last a long time, even if you use it every day.

Fun to Use: It makes exercise more enjoyable because it feels like playing while you’re getting fit.

Good for All Ages: People of all ages can use it to stay active and healthy, from kids to older adults.

Affordable: It’s a cost-effective way to stay in shape compared to joining a gym or buying expensive equipment.

Heart Health: It can help improve your heart health by combining it with other exercises that get your heart pumping.

Shark Tank Experience of Simply Fit Board 

The Simply Fit Board took a major leap forward when it appeared on Shark Tank. Entrepreneurs Linda Clark and Gloria Hoffman pitched the brand enthusiastically, highlighting the simplicity and effective results for home workouts. Initially, they asked for $125,000 in exchange for a 15% equity stake in their company. Sharks were impressed with their presentation, confidence, and product. Two Sharks QVC Queen Lori Greiner and Kevin O’Leary offered – Lori offered them $125,000 in exchange for the 20% stake in the company, Kevin offered double their initial ask but also wanted a 30% equity stake. In the end, they choose Lori Greiner, because of her excellent mentorship, guidance, and 18 years of infomercial expertise. 

After the show, Lori helped them with marketing and sales. In just a week after their appearance on the show, sales skyrocketed, making Simply Fit Board popular for home workouts everywhere. Its success story is a testament to how a simple idea when paired with the right support can turn into big success. 

How is Simply Fit Board doing now? 

https://enterprisewired.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/1.-How-is-Simply-Fit-Board-doing-now.jpg

When their episode aired in November 2015, they enjoyed a bump in sales. According to Lori Greiner, in just 7 months, sales jumped from $575,000 to $9 million, and by the fourth quarter of 2016, they sold more than 1 million Simply Fit Board. 

This was not a temporary bump, the brand is still going strong. It’s widely available in online stores and shops, and people are still loving it for their belly and back workouts. Today, it has expanded its offerings with other products like workout DVDs and mats. They always work to provide their users premium experience with designs, colors, and innovative features. 

Conclusion

Starting in 2013, the Simply Fit Board has grown a lot. Today, it is a trusted name for fitness freaks, especially those who struggle a lot to improve their belly and back sides. To remove these problems and add some enjoyment to the workout, this fit board has been introduced. Now you can avoid fat in your body just by doing some fun exercises right at home.

[obesitysurgerybrisbane]

Navigating the Maze of Weight Loss: Science, Myths, and Strategies

Weight loss is a journey that millions embark upon every year, driven by various motivations ranging from health concerns to aesthetic goals. Yet, the landscape of weight loss can be bewildering, filled with contradictory advice, fad diets, and dubious supplements. In this article, we'll sift through the noise to uncover evidence-based strategies for sustainable weight loss.

Understanding the Science

At its core, weight loss is a simple equation: calories consumed versus calories expended. However, the human body is a complex system, and numerous factors influence weight loss, including genetics, metabolism, hormones, and behavior. While there's no one-size-fits-all approach, several principles have stood the test of scientific scrutiny.

Caloric Deficit: To lose weight, you must consume fewer calories than your body expends. This can be achieved through dietary changes, increased physical activity, or a combination of both.

Nutrient Density: Focus on foods that are rich in nutrients and low in calories. Vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, and whole grains should form the foundation of your diet, providing essential vitamins, minerals, and fiber while keeping you full and satisfied.

Dispelling Myths

In the realm of weight loss, myths abound, perpetuated by well-meaning individuals, media outlets, and even some health professionals. Let's debunk a few common misconceptions:

Crash Diets: While rapid weight loss may seem appealing, crash diets are not sustainable and can be harmful to your health. They often lead to muscle loss, nutrient deficiencies, and metabolic slowdown, making it harder to maintain weight loss in the long run.

Spot Reduction: Despite what countless infomercials claim, it's not possible to target fat loss in specific areas of the body. Fat is lost proportionally throughout the body through a combination of diet and exercise.

Strategies for Success

Achieving and maintaining weight loss requires more than just willpower—it demands a comprehensive approach that addresses lifestyle habits, mindset, and environment. Here are some strategies to help you succeed:

Set Realistic Goals: Instead of fixating on a specific number on the scale, focus on adopting healthy habits that you can sustain for life. Celebrate non-scale victories such as increased energy, improved mood, and better sleep.

Mindful Eating: Pay attention to hunger and fullness cues, eat slowly, and savor each bite. Avoid distractions like TV or smartphones during meals, as they can lead to mindless overeating.

Stay Active: Find physical activities that you enjoy and make them a regular part of your routine. Aim for a combination of cardiovascular exercise, strength training, and flexibility exercises for overall health and fitness.

Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or a community of like-minded individuals who can provide encouragement, accountability, and practical advice.

[eggsinvest]

How to Make Money in Real Estate: Unlocking the Secrets of Property Development

Real estate investment is more than just a buzzword—it’s a proven avenue for growing your wealth. While late-night infomercials may promise quick riches, understanding the fundamentals of making money in real estate is key to building lasting financial success.

Unlocking Wealth through Real Estate

But, It’s Not All About Quick Fixes

Contrary to the hype surrounding obscure investment strategies, the core of real estate wealth lies in appreciation, the increase in a property’s value over time. Selling is the ultimate realization of this appreciation, but savvy investors can enhance returns by refinancing loans at lower interest rates, effectively elevating the profit margins.

Real Estate Profits from Increasing Property Value

The cornerstone of real estate wealth is appreciation—whether it’s from developing undeveloped land or discovering valuable minerals. As cities expand, raw land gains value, especially when purchased by developers. Residential properties benefit from evolving neighborhoods, while commercial properties thrive on location, development, and improvements.

The Role of Inflation in Property Values

Inflation plays a role too. Over time, a property’s value increases due to economic inflation. A piece of land bought for $100,000 in 1970 could be worth more than $700,000 today, considering the impact of inflation. However, it’s a bit of a double-edged sword, as the cost of goods also rises.

Real Estate Profits from Income

Beyond appreciation, real estate offers steady income in various forms.

Raw Land Income

Companies may pay royalties for discoveries on your land, such as minerals or oil. Raw land can also be leased for agricultural production or valuable resources like timber.

Residential Property Income

Residential properties generate income through rent. Desirable locations are key to securing tenants and ensuring a steady stream of rental income.

Commercial Property Income

Commercial properties yield income through rent and option fees. Tenants may pay premiums for contractual options like the right of first refusal on adjacent spaces.

Residential Real Estate: Paths to Profits

Residential real estate provides diverse income opportunities:

Buy and Hold: Rent out a single-family or multifamily home.

Flipping: Add value through renovations for a quick resale.

Airbnb and Vacation Rentals: Tap into the demand for short-term rentals.

Alternative Real Estate Income Sources

Explore investment alternatives within the real estate sector, such as Real Estate Investment Trusts (REITs), Mortgage-Backed Securities (MBSs), Mortgage Investment Corporations (MICs), and Real Estate Investment Groups (REIGs). Each comes with unique processes and entry points.

Other Ways to Invest in Real Estate

Beyond traditional methods, consider options like short sales, lease options, and contract flipping. While not without risks, these strategies offer alternative paths to real estate wealth.

Can Real Estate Make You Rich?

While real estate can indeed make you rich, it’s not a guaranteed path. The market experiences boom and bust cycles, and success depends on careful planning and understanding the risks involved.

How Can Beginners Make Money in Real Estate?

For beginners, appreciation remains a common and straightforward way to make money. However, exploring diverse income sources like rent and indirect investments through REITs and other instruments can also pave the way to success.

How Can I Make Money in Real Estate?

Making money in real estate involves various avenues, from renting properties to receiving royalties on raw land. Indirect investment through REITs, MBSs, MICs, and REIGs offers additional options for wealth creation.

The Bottom Line: Your Path to Real Estate Wealth

In the vast landscape of real estate investment, understanding the methods, risks, and potential rewards is crucial. Whether you’re eyeing residential properties or exploring alternative investment vehicles, strategic decisions and a comprehensive understanding of the market will guide you on your journey to financial prosperity. Are you ready to unlock the doors to real estate wealth? Start your journey with us.

Begin your real estate investment journey with our expert guidance. Explore opportunities, mitigate risks, and start building your wealth today. Join us on the path to financial prosperity!

[fearsmagazine]

FROM THE SHADOWS - Review

DISTRIBUTOR: Stonecutter Media

SYNOPSIS: Enigmatic leader of the Hidden Wisdom cult, Dr. Joseph Cawl , and eighteen of his followers die in a suspicious fire. Five young survivors, suspected of igniting the blaze, reach out to paranormal researcher Amara Rowan in hopes of uncovering the real cause of the blaze. When they expose the truth behind the disappearance of Cawl’s partner, Dr. Leonard Bertram, they become the target of a deranged killer who is dead set on terminating them all.

REVIEW: FROM THE SHADOWS mixes smartphone footage, computer conference footage and traditional cinematic narrative to present a tale of spiritual academics who unleash an ancient power that threatens to destroy things. It’s an awkward mix of narrative and visual styles that becomes a bit confusing and is more of a classic b-movie horror tale.

There’s nothing new to the plot, I’ve seen one version or another of it over the years regardless of the visual style. The story doesn’t capture many of the more current genre themes. Survivors are taken out one by one, and as it is whittled down to the core few mysteries are revealed. At their university library location Amara and her colleague are under attack by phantom creatures. As he tries to assist her and the folks on the computer he endeavors to keep them from getting in. The story is slow paced due to a lot of talking heads grinding exposition out. Much of it is explaining what is going on for what is supposedly the audience’s benefit.There are “ancient” images, V-Tech, that tap into this mystical power, which was the cause of the fire and unleash these spirits. AT one point one of the characters brings in a Native American element to the story. Some of the dialogue is a bit rough, such as “this is a scary situation and we need to figure this out together.” There is nothing that makes these characters stand out and I couldn’t find a hook for my emotions or any empathy for them.

The film’s production values are utilitarian. Talking heads and sequences that feel like late night infomercials, cut together with Amara and her assistant doing things and looking at screens.. As such, the film frequently flips between aspect ratios to accommodate the formats. They play with a variety of formats sometimes it doesn't make sense, especially for the horror sequences where characters are just yelling at screens. Many of the locations are adequate, some look like computer backgrounds and there is a sequence with Doctor Dré that appears to be thrown together on short notice, his wardrobe looks like what he walked in wearing. The visual effects were okay, looking like 90’s computer game animation, especially the shadow people. The physical effects and creature designs by Vincent J. Guastini are interesting and thought it could have been shot more effectively. At one point in the film they ask Amara to focus on a series of images. Of all the different artistic styles and artists, even computer generated images, these didn’t have any gravitas.

I appreciated the sound design and enjoyed the score by composer Alan Howarth. The score covers a lot of the film, the driving force of the film’s atmosphere. The two work in tandem to enhance the film’s scares.

The film is carried by the acting talents of Keith David, Bruce Davison and Selena Anduze. The rest of the cast comes across as a collection of horror character cliches waiting to be murdered. They spend most of the time creating a limited number of facial expressions in an attempt to hold the audience’s interest.

FROM THE SHADOWS feels like an old school horror film bogged down by an attempt to be clever by adapting it for new technologies. As they are not hard fast with their use of the technology format, it might have added a bit more energy if they shot some more traditional styles for the other characters. The film is definitely a better film than many of the genre submissions I review for the festivals, it did take me a few views to get through.

CAST: Keith David, Bruce Davison, Selena Anduze, Jim Thalman, Claire Mack, Ester Tania, Ian Whitt, Ed Lover, Doctor Dré, and T-Money. CREW: Director/Screenplay - Mike Sargent; Screenplay/Producer - Michael Kuciak; Producers - Michael Alden, Stacia Fernandez, Ian Holt, & Tom Polum; Cinematographer - David Landau; Score - Alan Howarth; Editor - Ryan Kelly; Production Designer - Alanis Jarlson; Special Effects Makeup - Vincent J. Guastini; Sound Designer - Cece Hall OFFICIAL: fromtheshadowsfilm.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/FilmFTS TWITTER: N.A. TRAILER: https://youtu.be/2w2EFQNnYpE?si=wn3poWc4gQ4ypBrg RELEASE DATE: Premiere in LA Sept 19th & in Theaters Sept 22nd, 2023

**Until we can all head back into the theaters our “COVID Reel Value” will be similar to how you rate a film on digital platforms - 👍 (Like), 👌 (It’s just okay), or 👎 (Dislike)

Reviewed by Joseph B Mauceri

[ramrodd]

Ep. 30 - Tucker + Trump Break The Internet, Republicans Debate

COMONTARY:

Nivek Ramaswamy is a fusion of George Santos and Tommy Tuberville.

  If you understood Hegel the way William F. Buckley understood Hegel, you would be able to make the connection Trump's unilateral surrender  to the Taliban in Afghanistan in a long term NATO nation building project we were winning and the political organization that is being exposed connected directly at the hip to the treason and attempted violent over throw of the peaceful transfer of power.

  Before January 6, my personal analysis was that Trump's unilateral surrender to the Taliban was an an incredibly cynical and transactional reelection strategy. But that was before January 6 and the singular heroism of Mike Pence in the cockpit of Socratic civil duty that saved America, In the comic book world of Banana Republic political insurgencies, removing Mike Pence would have stopped the motor of the US Constitution, except that the Speaker of the House is the constitutional replacement for the replacement for POTUS.

  Removing Mike Pence on Janaury 6 is what John Galt was trying to do as a domestic terrorist employing Trotsky's insurgency processes for overthrowing a healthy society for criminal purposes, like Nazi Germany. That's what Ayn Rand was promoting. Atlas Shrugged is the Turner Diaries of the Young Americans for Freedom of the  Ivy League Socialism of the  Boomer Generation. I don't think Ayn Rand's intent was to help foster the political agenda to actually attempt January 6. To no small degree, Atlas Shrugged is a memoir of what it was like to be alive in St. Petersburg in the middle of the Russian Revolution before Lenin arrived at the Finland Station. And then what it was like after her got there. John Galt is Trotsky working behind Lenin to grab control by deliberate insurgency based on the lessons learned from the down stream effects of the American Revolution on disrupting French society and how to make that happen on purpose.

  When I was growing up as an Army brat, Counter Insurgency was the sexy career path of West Point graduates. I had read the core bibliography of David Petraeus's re-issue of the CO-IN FM the Green Beret's were using in Vietnam before the Diem brothers were assassinated in a coup engineered by the John Birch Society activissts  in State and the Bay of Pigs cowboys of the CIA. I first became aware of the political insurgency that has become the January 6 Majority in 1981 with the Hollywood John Birch Society who came to Washington with Reagan. So, I haven't been surprised by January 6: I've been surprised by the reluctance of the world to become woke and to act on that transparency. I assume you guys are just typical January 6 activists whose business model is based on the success of the RICO agenda of Trump. You rare an infomercial for authoritarian privilege .

  You guys are the  part of the spiritual pollution of the Ivy League Socialism of the John Birch Society.