#infamous housewives trips

[toongrrl-blog]

Pink Power Rankings, Pt. 3

You’ve (hopefully for me) waited, now you have it. The next chapter of Pink Power Rankings! I had a good time doing Parts One and Two and have been wanting to do Part Three for some time and I needed to look for more pop culture sources involving the color pink. Here I look at moments in TV and Film featuring women and girls (and other feminine presenting folks) moments in the color pink and I analyze if this is a case of pink representing feminine power or vulnerability under a Patriarchal structure.

Spoilers Ahead

Pictured above are the many versions of the Pink Ranger from the Power Rangers series.

Mei Lee

We are gonna take a trip into Chinese Culture, early 2000s fashion, adolescence, and the push and pull between family traditions and honoring your own spirit. Buckle up.

First Red: Mei Mei lives in a multitude of cultures. First she is a Millennial who likes boy bands and soda pop who tries to be a straight A student and proper daughter to her (likely) Boomer elders, she is a Chinese Canadian girl who wakes up find herself as a giant fluffy red panda. Chinese Flag, Chinese Culture, Canadian flag, red pandas, anger, passion, menstruation: what do they have in common? The color red. In Chinese culture, red (along with the complementary yet opposite on the color spectrum, green) is a lucky color; it’s a festive color, the color of beauty, good fortune, vitality, and happiness. Mei is an adorable girl who has a bright future ahead of her and she is a energetic, go-getter who hardly lets things get her down. According to Ericksen Translations, Red in the Western World evokes excitement, love, danger, passion, and anger, Indian cultures consider red to be the color of purity, Latin America can pair red with white for religious connotations, and red is infamously used by totalitarian regimes. That last part is important because Mei Mei is butting heads with her green (another lucky color in Chinese culture, unless you are a man wearing a hat) and blue (the color of sadness and motherhood in Western culture) clad mother, who lacked the community of good friends with different perspectives (or any) and was so bound up in duty and guilt/intergenerational trauma to see that her daughter needs to join in the pursuits of her age group. 

This even shows up in how Mei was dressed (and as a testament to the film, showcases the changing seasons in Toronto, coinciding with the themes regarding puberty): she starts the film wearing a red cardigan sweater, a flared skirt, leggings, sneakers, still a hip little girl but cardigans (along with collared shirts) evoke “Classic Fashion”, they evoke an image of British aristocratic women, 1950s housewives and secretaries, D.C. Office Ladies, they transcend time and are safe. TL;DR, they are “Good Girl” clothes, the kind of clothes that don’t make waves (sartorially nor with the status quo). 

On the other hand, polo shirts (especially if they were layered), were the it shirt for the 2000s. After Clueless hit theaters in 1995, there was a resurgence in preppy styles, especially for young women, with palettes becoming brighter and brighter. And when we see Mei Mei at the end of the film: we find her in a light pink polo shirt with the latest in Y2K accessories (spot the hair clips, earrings, and choker), showing that she has embraced her own voice and panda and living openly. It’s a good thing her outlook is so bright, she is gonna be one of  many Millennials likely affected by the 2008 Recession and the now current COVID-19 pandemic.

Power Ranking: A 10, 24/7, 365!

Monica Lewinsky 

Here we will focus on dissecting the serialized interpretation of Monica Lewinsky (as played by exquisite Beanie Feldstein) rather than the real person I simp over; Monica, in real life and in the series based on events in her 20s, is an utterly femme-y woman but pink is not a power color within the series. We see her wear it in loungewear, chatting on the phone with her treacherous friend (the never can be too maligned) Linda Tripp (Sarah Paulson in one of her problematic roles) or in a sleepover scene or as a robe or in a romantic nightie and here, in a scene where she has a tumultuous argument with President Bill Clinton (Clive Owen looking a tad svelte) where they finally break up. One can surmise that Pink is the color of vulnerability for Monica, as it makes her small and easy to take advantage of by an older colleague and lover. 

In short: it’s the color of both femininity and vulnerability and we see Linda and First Lady Hillary Clinton wear it themselves in subdued and pastel versions, nodding to their age. But onto Monica and how she could (or could not) fall into the same subued pastels as these women who are contemporaries of her own more youthful and glamorous mother (played by the uber-talented Mira Sorvino); pink for Monica symbolizes her femininity (which she was lampooned for as a bimbo and valley girl), her warmth (a quality that people are surprised to learn she has once meeting her), her beauty (her blessing and a curse, as she diets like crazy), her sexuality (despite the Sexual Revolution, society is still slut-shamey and hasn’t reformed enough for abuse of power to become a thing of the past), and her romantic nature and sadly due to Bill being the ultimate fuck-boy of the late-20th Century, is likely to become the embittered nag (Hillary) or hag (Linda) that is vilified in the media, or rather her ultimate fate as punching bag and sex object. 

Monica was in soft pastels for her loungewear outfits but this sweater is a bold, saturated coral pink that matches her emotions. After screaming at secretary Betty Currie (the one and only Rae Dawn Chong), which bad move Monica, she gets Bill to lament how horrible she is (really the whole thing is his damn fault), projecting and using Betty’s history of being a Black woman under Jim Crow to manipulate Monica “a fucking 24 year old” and how he thought she was “a good girl” which earns him a hearty “fuck you!” from her and they decide to break off, her even turning down his pleas to resume after his term is over, but he resolves to help her get the job she wants and she quits the Pentagon for the greener pastures (or rather the lipstick) of Revlon where her intelligence and beauty savvy will be put to work. 

Oh girly, you aren’t out of the woods. On a simp-y note: I want to note what costume designer Meredith Markworth-Pollack described Monica as an “innately a sexual woman, she’s flirtatious, she’s sensual, she’s curvy, she’s magnetic”...basically Monica has the same energy as Joan Holloway of Mad Men, another mistreated and sexualized woman who was a victim of her time and place and underestimated as a person and intellect due to her gender. But both women, as Tom and Lorenzo once said: “She took charge of her life and owned her mistakes” when comparing Joan to Liz Taylor (a vivacious dark-haired bombshell who was noted for her sensuality and mocked for her weight) and became producer. *chef’s kiss*

Power Ranking: 5.5 (like a phoenix she will rise out of the ashes).

Eleanor Wong

I love this look, it’s giving Grace Kelly meets Betty Draper Francis’s hidden Italian haute couture side. The chic updo, the jewelry, bejeweled bodice, cinched waistline, full pink tulle skirt, and the long gloves all scream “Mid Century Movie Glamour”. Eleanor showed up with her friend Devi to the Winter Dance stag to support friend Fabiola and her girlfriend Eve’s bid for Winter Dance Royalty. The girls also lament their love life, having broken up with boys before. But Luck be a Lady tonight, for these two ladies in fabulous formal wear. Devi gets to go with her older and popular boyfriend Paxton while Eleanor gets the attentions of Paxton’s dopey friend (they are so cute a couple) and gets to tell Ben, Devi’s entitled ex who always called Devi “David” and competed with her and called the girls the racist, misogynistic moniker of “Unfuckable Nerds” or UN (as Harriyanna Hook once said: “No boy alive who called me ugly was ever hotter than me”). Eleanor gets to tell a heartbroken Ben that Devi did care for him but she and Fabi told him he wasn’t good enough and gave a dismissive apology granted he ends up with Devi but Fab and Eleanor show that if wants her, he gonna have to prove himself.

Good. For. Her.

Power Ranking: 11. 

Joyce Prigger

She emerges in a dusty rose suit and a floral blouse with grey-blue and orchid shades, youthful and ready to make an impression. Perhaps while wearing the colors of the gender binary and of power as defined by a patriarchal culture built on hierarchy. Sadly, this ambitious revolutionary has to kiss corporate ass and is failing. “The Matriarchy Awakens” is a clever tagline, but not a magazine title but there is a need for a matriarchy in an era when men can feel free to comment on other women’s bodies and their presentation with little to no consequence, where women are encouraged to diet but them exercising reproductive choice is taboo, where women are gaslighted into being silent about their concerns or wants. So young, Seven Sisters educated Joyce Prigger goes to a magazine convention to shop around her ideas for a feminist magazine that is sadly drier than the Southern California climate after being harassed by construction workers and to tone-deaf corporate heads who still like the idea of women building their whole lives and self-esteem around them. 

So another man suggests he can sell her magazine with a crispier, tender title for his pornography publishing business: Minx. She is reluctant (she hasn’t made it to sex positive feminism yet) and walks off the convention getting harassed by the same construction worker and telling him to fuck off.

It’s a start, but articles about marital rape are gonna need pics of hot men in the buff.

Power Ranking: 6.

Kamala Nandiawanda

About four decades later and we meet another young woman who is coping with tone-deaf males in a profession she has ambition for, with the added weight of being a non-European woman in a White Supremacist Patriarchy. Kamala does what her aunt (and what nameless women in male-dominated circles) have done, keep her head down and smile while doing work that she is not getting credit for. And submit to their little games where they make her their video game damsel in distress and have her dress up according to their desires. 

At some point she goes to her teenage cousin for help and her teenage cousin Devi (a known hothead) tells her she doesn’t has to take anyone’s shit and that men like her colleagues like seeing Asian Women as submissive and easy to abuse. Kamala eventually threatens her mentor with a lawsuit and going to feminist minded groups and reporting him. 

Power Ranking: 5 (this was one of many straws that broke the camel’s back).

Julia Child

In the HBO Max unofficial sequel to Julie and Julia, a film that partially focused on the beginning of Julia Child’s career as the co-author of a popular cookbook that demystified French cooking to ordinary Americans, we meet Julia Child enjoying her new life in Massachusetts and on the heels of the popularity of Mastering the Art of French Cooking as she works on the 2nd addition. As a promotion on public television, she spontaneously fixes an omelette on air in her folksy and comedic style and is offered the opportunity to host her own cooking show. Not a TV owner (much less viewer), she is somewhat skeptical but becomes increasingly enthused and considers hosting her own show despite the skepticism of a few.

Power Ranking: 10, bon appetit!

Robin Buckley

Here is Robin Buckley: in frills she is not accustomed to nor her preference (foisted on her by the more miniscule Nancy Wheeler) with the highly femme outfits constricting her, especially around her neck. Nancy gives the awkward (honestly likely neurodivergent) Robin a script to follow as they try to glean information from a mental institution about one of their patients. Robin, when the interview goes nowhere, Robin goes off script and talks about how no one takes girls seriously and gets them access to their patient.

Power Ranking: 9.5

Suga Mama

“When I’m an old woman, I shall wear purple, with a red hat that doesn’t quite go...”, welp Suga Mama doesn’t need to dress so garish and formal to command attention as a woman over 50. Ever since The Proud Family premiered in 2001, Suga Mama was a hip granny and a force to be reckoned, no one not even her son, held her back. 

Power Ranking: 10

Heather Chandler

ModernGurlz sussed out Heather so well, so I like to look at the film a bit from her point of view from when she was alive.

Picture it: Ohio 1989. You are the Queen Bee of your high school with three loyal underlings who do your bidding, even humiliating the school fat girl. You act like you are better than everyone else but you deep down feel insecure, nothing impresses you, the boys are either bores or objectify you, so you hit a college party hoping to find a mature option. Big Mistake, as he coerces you into oral sex while you are really wanting to go back to the party. You then stare at your reflection in self-hatred and then the next morning you wake up in a hangover and your friend, who you feel screwed you over for fighting back with her own college hook-up is with the school weirdo. You drink their hangover cure and it’s disgusting and what?

You have entered the afterlife and it’s so boring.

Power Ranking: 0

Louise Belcher

The #girlboss of the Belcher Clan, her late grandmother’s granddaughter, the one who solved a murder and saved everyone from an explosion involving flammable teddy bears in a slow-moving ride. Owner of her grandmother’s pink cap turned bunny hat.

Power Ranking: 10

Lisa Simpson

The long-running The Simpsons is a subversive take on classic family sitcom tropes and American Traditionalist “family values”, where the straight A and principled Lisa Simpson is often clad in a light pink and puff-sleeved dress with a classic party dress design. American Christian Tradition and Values writ in fabric: but Lisa subverts these values by staying true to her moral compass and often that means pissing off the social order. 

In this case it’s clearing her brother Bart’s name after he was framed as a thief during collection, the truth is he fell for the sweet looking and pretty preacher’s daughter’s manipulations who tells him no one will believe him because Springfield is classist and elitist like many small-towns (there I said it). Lisa takes the pulpit to urge people to confess their sins, no takers from Jessica Lovejoy so Lisa points her out and the town sees that Jessica kept several weeks of collection money under her bed, a cry for help to her parents who care more about looking right than being good parents.

Power Ranking: 11

[realhousewives-fan]

The Ex-Wives Reunites for RHUGT4!

We haven’t even gotten to see RHUGT3 yet, and we’re already getting a confirmation on the cast for RHUGT4! And it’s going to be insane!

The Ex-Wives are reuniting for RHUGT4.

More specifically Brandi Glanville, Eva Marcille, Phaedra Parks, and Vicki Gunvalson are returning alongside other ex-wives like Alex McCord, Camille Grammer, Caroline Manzo and Gretchen Rossi!

What an amazing cast!

It also feels like a victory for the Ex-Wives. I thought The Ex-Wives Club was way more entertaining and rewatchable than the first season with the All-Stars.

That Brandi, Eva, Phaedra and Vicki are called back for another round, and finally gets to go on a proper girls trip to Morocco, is great.

I’m so happy for them. Especially Vicki, she was so miserable at the Bluestone Manor.

But I’m really excited about seeing Alex again!

She was so delusional and had such a chaotic energy that she entertained and provoked greatly in the early seasons of RHONY.

And kudos for her daring to return to Morocco with her Herman Munster… I mean, very loud Luis Vuitton shoes, after Luann de Lesseps nearly fell of the infamous camel ride.

Dare we hope that this trip to Morocco will be just as memorable as RHONY’s girls trip?

Camille and Caroline speak for themselves. They’re huge fan favorites and among the few names the fans want back on their shows, me included.

It’s going to be interesting to see them out of their comfort zones, especially how Camille and Brandi will get along.

They’ve had several feud on social media, but what else is new with these ladies?

And then there is Gretchen… I never liked Gretchen, nor her partner Slade Smiley… 

Sleaziest man in Real Housewives history. He has got to be at the very top of the most unlikable husbands ever in this franchise.

They were the most obnoxious couple ever and I’ve not missed them for one second on RHOC.

It will be interesting to see her real face though. Her facetune is so exaggerated it’s embarrassing. Maybe we’ll get some fake crying with no tears again too?

[prettyhennytea]

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Sparkling Brunch, Therapeutic Confessions, and Friendships on the Rocks - Episode 16 Recap Hello there! Welcome back to our juicy recap of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 13, Episode 16. We had quite the episode this week, titled "Diamond in the Rough," as the ladies indulged in Annemarie's lavish diamond-themed brunch. So, let's dive right in and spill all the tea! We started with Erika meeting her therapist, Dr. Jenn, and boy, did she have a lot on her mind. Reflecting on her past struggles and newfound success with her Las Vegas residency, Erika opened up about feeling scared now that her financial safety net is gone. She also expressed disappointment in her fellow housewives not giving her the support and applause she expected when she won the appeal for her earrings. Dr. Jenn reminded Erika that true friends show their loyalty in tough times. During Sutton and Santos' hangout, Kyle joined them, and the Barcelona trip came up in conversation. Sutton was emotional about letting go of her marriage and had texted her now-ex-husband, Christian, that very morning, bidding him goodbye and good luck. Kyle, on the other hand, shared that she and Mauricio are in therapy together due to their work commitments affecting their relationship. It seems like Kyle wants to feel more prioritized, but hey, it's not easy when Mauricio's busy with The Agency! In the midst of all this, Garcelle was setting up a GoFundMe campaign for Cybersmile, an initiative against cyberbullying. She was proud of her son Jax for standing up against online hate and decided to grant him more freedom. We're excited to see how that turns out for them! Let's not forget Kyle and Mauricio's bonding time at home, discussing their therapy sessions. While Mauricio found them 'fun,' Kyle wasn't exactly laughing during those intense moments. Can we get a break from the serious talks, please? We miss their happy and fun moments together! During Annamarie's luxurious Diamonds and Champagne Brunch for Mother's Day, tensions between her and Crystal were the highlight. There was an incredible spread of delectable food and even a jeweler showcasing a mesmerizing $3.5 million necklace. Talk about opulence! And while Sutton grumbled about the lack of handrails, she seemed ready to party, giving off those tipsy vibes. Meanwhile, Erika, understandably traumatized by jewelry-related issues, opted to browse rather than shop. Smart move, Erika, better safe than sorry! Erika expressed her happiness over Crystal's apology while subtly hinting that some other co-stars should apologize too. Ah, the drama continues! Annemarie took Crystal aside, and they both agreed to disagree and keep moving forward. Surprisingly, Annemarie also wanted the drama to fade away. But hey, the rest of the ladies wanted the inside scoop, so they sent Kyle on a secret spy mission. Little did they know, Crystal and Annemarie had already made amends and were hugging it out. Sorry, ladies, no juicy gossip for you! Tipsy Sutton then spilled the beans about her second date with Steve, sharing an admirably sweet text he sent. Erika hilariously commented about the controversial topic, but Sutton teased that she needs a health certificate before venturing into that territory. Better safe than sorry, right? The discussion took a turn towards Erika feeling let down by the lack of support from her friends during her tough times. She expressed her desire for apologies from certain individuals, but also acknowledged that if they genuinely wanted to apologize, they would've done so already. When Dorit tried to speak up, Erika reminded her of a past incident at a Kathy Hilton's Infamous Dinner Party from Hell, effectively shutting down the conversation. Garcelle stuck to her opinion, standing her ground, but still not wanting Erika to ofall. Sutton, amidst her tipsy state, sincerely apologized to Erika, and Erika appreciated her gesture. Emotions ran high as Erika broke down in tears, and Sutton embraced her, repeating her apology. Kyle chimed in, acknowledging if Erika felt unsupported by her, she was sorry. Erika acknowledged that not everyone will apologize as she wants, but she feels a sense of closure and was grateful for Sutton's apology. Phew! We can finally let go of the earring appeal drama. Next week is the Season 13 finale, and it looks like we'll be getting some insight into what led Kyle and Mauricio's separation. Stay tuned for the grand finale folks!

[laresearchette]

Friday, December 15, 2023 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: THE FAMILY PLAN (Apple TV +) FINESTKIND (Paramount +) JOE BOB'S CREEPY CHRISTMAS (Shudder) THE SECRET GIFT OF CHRISTMAS (W Network) 8:00pm 50TH ANNUAL DAYTIME EMMY AWARDS (Global) 9:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT? NATIONAL CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING (CBS Feed) 91ST ANNUAL HOLLYWOOD CHRISTMAS PARADE (CW Feed)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA REACHER (Season 2)

CBC GEM BARDOT

CRAVE TV CHRISTMAS IS YOU CHRISTMAS ON WINDMILL WAY EDWARD SCISSORHANDS GOOSE GREEN LANTERN GROUNDHOG DAY THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS JINGLE BELL PRINCESS LES AFFAMÉS LIFE OF PI PARANORMAL REVENGE (Season 1) RACETIME REGINALD THE VAMPIRE (Season 1) TOM AT THE FARM WILDHOOD

NETFLIX CANADA ARCHER (Season 14 - finale season) CAROL & THE END OF THE WORLD CHICKEN RUN: DAWN OF THE NUGGET (GB) FACE TO FACE WITH ETA: CONVERSATIONS WITH A TERRORIST (ES) FAMILIA (MX) GET SANTA PAW PATROL (Season 10) YOH’ CHRISTMAS (ZA)

GRAND SLAM OF CURLING (SN) 12:30pm: Masters - Draw 14 (SN) 4:30pm: Masters - Draw 15 (SN1) 8:30pm: Masters - Draw 16

THE JINGLE BELL JUBILEE (CTV Life) 6:00pm: A city manager recruits the help of a childhood friend to save his town's Christmas charity event, while she attempts to set him up with her close friend.

NHL HOCKEY (SN) 7:30pm: Bruins vs. Islanders (TSN5) 8:00pm: Sens vs. Stars

NBA BASKETBALL (SN Now) 7:30pm: Lakers vs. Spurs (TSN/TSN3/TSN4) 7:30pm: Hawks vs. Raptors (TSN3) 10:00pm: Knicks vs. Suns

OPEN SEASON: CALL OF NATURE (Family Channel Canada) 7:30pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Boog and Elliot open up a hair salon, and soon find that their new enterprise has attracted the attentions of the local gangster Woolly the Bully; Karla is forced to reveal her greatest talent and greatest shame to everyone.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1999) (CBC) 8:00pm: Dickens' Ebenezer Scrooge (Patrick Stewart) receives visits from three Christmas spirits who show him his past, present and future.

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (CTV2) 8:00pm: A former actress takes charge of a town's annual Christmas Eve courtroom production, in which the true authorship of the famous poem "A Visit From St. Nick" is debated.

A CHRISTMAS FOR THE AGES (CTV Life) 8:00pm: Prompted by their youngest granddaughter, four generations of women celebrate Christmas and family in the style of the 40s, 60s, 90s, and today.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF JERSEY (Slice) 8:00pm: Bite Me, I'll Bite Back

THE SEARCH FOR SECRET SANTA (Super Channel Heart & Home) 8:00pm: Cub reporter Sofia thinks she's found a Christmas story that will save her career when she discovers a long-lost, undelivered Secret Santa gift addressed from B. to Claire.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES: ULTIMATE GIRLS TRIP (Slice) 9:00pm/10:15pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Former New York City Housewives Dorinda, Kelly, Kristen, Luann, Ramona and Sonja reunite for a week in St. Barts; Kristen and Dorinda get off on the wrong foot; Kelly is concerned that Kristen seems more like a fan than a Housewife. In Episode Two, at the beach, the ladies discuss Sonja's communication skills and revisit the infamous Scary Island; Luann hosts a seafood dinner where Sonja questions Kristen's marriage; some handsome young men join the ladies for a house party.

MATRIARCH OF MURDER? (Investigation Discovery) 9:00pm: When an innocent young mother turns up dead on the tracks, the small town of Findlay, Ohio, must figure out who would take the life of such a kind soul.

BABYLON 5: THE ROAD HOME (adult swim) 9:00pm: John Sheridan unexpectedly finds himself transported through multiple timelines and alternate realities. Along the way, he reunites with some familiar faces and discovers cosmic new revelations about the history, purpose and meaning of the universe.

THE BLACKENING (Crave) 9:00pm: A group of old college friends reunite for a Juneteenth weekend getaway, only to find themselves trapped in a remote cabin with a twisted killer. Forced to play by his rules, they soon realize this isn't a game.

[cavenewstimes]

‘Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: RHONY Legacy’ trailer teases raunchy return to infamous Pirate House

The women are going back to Saline Beach’s Pirate House in “The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: RHONY Legacy.” In the brand-new trailer launched Sunday“Real Housewives of New York” alums Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Luann de Lesseps, Dorinda Medley, Sonja Morgan, Kristen Taekman and Ramona Singer reunite in St. Barth’s at the notorious vacation home from Season 5. The preview– which dropped…

[theavenuebox]

Lisa Rinna Gets Candid About RHOBH Exit & Infamous Aspen Trip | E! News

Lisa Rinna reflects on her “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” journey, including her explosive fight with Kathy Hilton. Plus, the Bravo alum spills on her new wine venture! #LisaRinna #RHOBH #RealHousewives #Bravo #ENews Subscribe: http://bit.ly/enewssub About E! News: The E! News team brings you the latest breaking entertainment, fashion and Pop Culture news. Featuring exclusive segments,…

[engaged19times]

RHONJ Recrap - season 11, ep 1 - C U Next Tuesday!

Greetings fellow prostitution whores and welcome to my new weekly recrap of American institution The Real Housewives of New Jersey! Before I jump in I’ll introduce myself by saying that I’m a housewives super fan (I even watched DC, an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst sister-in-law), an underemployed comedy writer (I can’t define “napalm” either, Lauren Manzo), and nothing makes me happier than to watch 6 bedazzled hypocrites in Cheesecake Factory mansions argue etiquette and loyalty between physical altercations in the world renowned cultural hub of Paterson, New Jersey. I know essay recaps are a bit of a relic but I am fond of ye olde written word so please enjoy this blast from the past, you scumbags!

We open without fanfare mid-scene to red-eyed Jackie and dead-eyed Teresa sitting in Margaret’s partially finished, wallpaper smothered home. We get the Bad Girls Club black-and-white flashes but unlike in Beverly Hills we’re not flashing to “three months earlier” but instead to “three days earlier.” It might take women of less gumption precious time to build to a production-halting confrontation but it only takes these agents of chaos half a week to get the meatball rolling.

Let’s back up a little to the ominous “three days prior” and catch up with our hot girls. It’s Jackie’s giant hot husband’s 46th birthday so she’s throwing him a party under a tent in the parking lot of a Greek restaurant. We learn that Teresa and Joe’s father has sadly passed in the offseason and Dolores Thee Stallion and Margaret have both had full cosmetic overhauls - Dolores with a second butt enhancement that left her with a giant hip scar rivaled only by Sally from Nightmare before Christmas and Margaret with a boob lift and apparent nipple sharpening (is that a procedure?) that she advertises in a blush silk top with no bra. Never one to be outdone at a parking lot birthday party, Joe Gorga arrives with his storyline - I mean wife, Melissa - also smuggling raisins under a skin tight children’s white T-shirt. Nipples are trending, ladies!

The Nightmare Before Christmas.

A beautiful boob lift.

Tarzan’s headlights.

Margaret’s hot employee Lexi and Teresa’s hot realtor Michelle (both of whom are official friends-of this year), as well as iconic social wrecking ball and Aydin Center for Plastic Surgery mascot Jennifer all saunter in for car park cocktails at this 3D nipple fashion show and as the night devolves we see the cast getting truly shit-housed on shots when out of nowhere storyline sniper Teresa drops the bomb that she heard sexy birthday Bigfoot Evan is cheating on Jackie... more specifically, that he “does stuff” at the gym but mysteriously can’t remember any details or where she heard this head-scratching accusation that draws as many gasps as it does “huhs?” Honest straight people question: do y’all hook up at gyms? And if so, where? Are there co-ed saunas now? Also can one of you explain the allure of Mike and Molly to me? Moving on. Most shocking was that the Perez Hilton of North Jersey doesn’t just drop this wild accusation once, she gleefully skips through this asphalt soiree like a goddamn town crier, addressing everyone she passes like Belle through the town square.

The next day the hard partying crew of Jersey Shore: All Grown Up recovers from their throbbing hangovers and we see cool mom Melissa traipsing through her particle board mausoleum in see-through sweatpants with a visible thong in front of her kids’ friends (you girls keep me young!), Marge Sr. driving a blue Mini Cooper with eyelashes on the headlights (which I assume are like the spinning rims of the Jersey Grandma community), and a flashback of Margaret’s Joe puking next to a tree (relatable, my dude).

Marge Sr.: Fully Loaded.

You girls keep me young!

Over at Jennifer’s palatial child farm we learn that her parents fight so much these days that she moved her father (Carl from Up!) to her multi-generational compound which has only angered her mother more.

Jennifer’s sweet dad.

We then find out Dolores’s dry boyfriend David with whom she shares the burning passion of a melting ice sculpture now lives with her bulging slab of a son Frankie Jr. in the house he and Delores built together but Dolores curiously still lives with her also bulging but slightly slimey ex Frank Sr. in her original house, a near Braunwyn-level web of over-explained but still vague relationship fuckery of which none of them seem on the same page. Dolores hid her surgery from David until the day before, David still works constantly so she hangs out with her ex all the time, and I can’t help but think that we aren’t getting the full story on whatever the fuck is happening under these two roofs. Are they brother-husbands? Is Frank Sr. piping both of them? Can Frankie Jr. DM me his nudes please? The only one being straight-forward in these duel households of confusion is Dolores’s dog who is simply named Dog and I honestly appreciate his refreshing transparency.

Dog Catania, king of transparency.

Finally, Jackie calls Teresa to organize an infamous Jersey sit-down because she somehow got wind of the out-of-thin-air accusations that Teresa all but presented with a bull horn and a PowerPoint at Evan’s parking lot social. They decide to meet at Margaret’s partially constructed house/ wallpaper showroom because it’s neutral territory to hash things out in a relaxing landscape of ladders and contrasting patterns and the tension is so thick you could cut it with one of Margaret’s newly renovated nipples.

Jackie pleads with Tre to clear her husband’s good name and Tre enters a baffling Kelly-Anne Conway bullshit loop which includes such hits as “woman to woman, if I heard this you wouldn’t want me to tell you?” (a reasonable point which is actually working against Teresa because it’s the opposite of what she did), then explaining to Margaret the immediately contradictory “I didn’t tell her and it’s not like I told Evan, I told my friends” (which is an explanation of what she obviously did wrong but said in the tone of a defense), the wacky last ditch nonsense deflection “Alright let me tell you the reason why I did it. This year, now, you know I’m single now. I’ve been approached by a lot of married men that think that it’s OK to have affairs,” and finally just saying fuck it and rewriting history “I did not spread a rumor, I heard a rumor.”

The truth is that Teresa was retaliating for a cheating rumor Jackie entertained about her last year but neither can be held to such unreasonable expectations like addressing reality or admitting fault which is actually ideal because if I cared to see emotionally mature community leaders converse thoughtfully I’d watch Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday not this unhinged turnpike circus.

Jackie’s rival won’t budge so she chooses the nuclear option, looks the reigning matriarch of Paterson in her vacant eyes, and declares confidently “I heard Gia snorts coke in the bathroom at parties” which stopped time on Earth as far as I’m concerned. Is this wild accusation true? Probably not. Was this retaliatory tit equal to the offending tat? Debatable. Do I blame Teresa for immediately whipping into a tailspin and storming out screaming the C-word (no Kathy Wakile, not “canoli kit”) at Jackie no less than 80 times? Girl, no I do not. Jackie has since clarified (backtracked?) that this was an analogy not a rumor she heard which... OK, and whether or not either of the atomic bombs dropped in this breakneck premiere were true, I’m excited to watch our Paterson superstars battle it out for another batshit season!

Esteemed poet laureat of Paterson, NJ.

Join me and my own rock hard nipples next week to recrap a girls trip to Lake George, more developments in the case of Jackie vs Teresa: Jersey Crime Story, and hopefully another cameo by breakout superstar Dog Catania! Please share this recrap with the prostitution whores in your life if you enjoy and follow me on Tumblr (engaged19times), Insta (@engagednineteentimes), and Twitter (@_engaged19times)! I’m recrapping weekly but I don’t get screeners (yet) and it takes me a few days to catch up so please be patient!

XO engaged19times

[your-fave-is-catholic]

Your Fave Is Catholic: Joanna Krupa

Known for: Polish model, actress, & animal rights activist. She is best known for hosting the Polish television series Top Model, as well as for her own modeling work, having appeared on several magazine covers over the years & often being considered one of the sexiest women in the world. She has also appeared on other television shows as well, with the most notable ones being Dancing with the Stars & The Real Housewives of Miami. Other television shows she has been in include The Man Show, Superstars, Million Dollar Challenge, Szymon Majewski, & occasional guest appearances on other shows. She is also a very devoted animal rights activist, having supported causes such as dog adoption, anti-fur wearing, boycotting SeaWorld for its mistreatment of orca whales, & she even founded the animal rescue group Angels For Animal Rescue along with her friend Gabi Gutierrez.

Evidence of Faith: According to an article from The Christian Post which discusses Joanna’s trip to Israel, it explains that she was always Catholic growing up, but she went to the Jordan River to be re-baptized as a means of confirming her devotion to the Catholic faith. She was also mentioned saying that being a true Catholic is more than just going to church once a week, & it involves daily commitment & compassion towards others. To quote Joanna herself: “The whole trip and experience was truly spiritual, emotional and absolutely incredible.... This is something that I will always treasure for the rest of my life. I wanted to be baptized as an adult, confirming my faith and my beliefs. It was also a way for me to consciously thank God and Jesus for everything in my life. I am even thankful for the negative things that have made me a stronger and better person.” There was also an infamous animal rights advertisement Joanna did involving herself modeling as an angel in a Catholic church filled with dogs..... but I will not be sourcing it, mainly because the advertisement has nudity & I don’t wish to upset anyone or share anything that might be considered pornographic. Though at this point, I believe that Joanna deeply regrets doing such an ad, & with her new spiritual beginning mentioned earlier taking place long after that, I think we can easily forgive her & be thankful that she is trying to do better.

[lapdropworldwide]

How the Bonkers ‘Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’ Changed Bravo Forever

How the Bonkers ‘Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’ Changed Bravo Forever

Photo Illustration by Elizabeth Brockway/The Daily Beast/Bravo It all started with a dramatic phone call, like so many of the great reality TV scenes do. In the back of a now-infamous black Sprinter van, five stars of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Salt Lake City were waiting to leave for a girls’ trip to Vail, Colorado. That’s when Jen Shah answered her cellphone. After Shah hung up the call, she…

[realhousewives-fan]

Revisiting the Bolo Night

While Drew Sidora played a little ignorant about what Ralph Pittman did in Las Vegas, she appears to be unravelling on this trip to Portugal.

She started crying during her argument with Shereé Whitfield, seemingly out of nowhere, and Kandi Burruss muttered “and scene” when Drew “stormed off”.

But Drew gave the women one reason for why she was upset and another reason in her confessional.

Her confessional was probably filmed after her marriage was falling apart. Suddenly, she was upset about her insecurity over what Ralph was doing in Las Vegas.

And the women did tattle on Kandi’s comment to Drew, and as always, they want everybody to have a problem with Kandi this season.

But what ended up being the most heated conversation was after the production had wrapped filming.

Why is it always the behind-the-scenes that are the most interesting ones? These housewives have gotten too comfortable with hiding their true selves.

Apparently, they had started to rehash their infamous trip to North-Carolina where Strippergate took place.

At the reunion LaToya Ali had accused Drew of cheating on Ralph after hooking up with her. 

Drew denies ever kissing LaToya, and Kandi is beyond frustrated with Drew’s lies.

So, this is what Kandi’s comment “there was a kiss” from the midseason trailer is referring to. It’s not Ty Young, and it’s not about the scenes from the movie.

I’m still invested in Drew’s drama this season. It’s the only thing about the season that fascinates me because Lord knows that there’s nothing else going on.

But I need Drew to be honest. She needs to stop lying.

This can only work if she’s owning her part and telling her truth on the show. LaToya claimed that they kissed, and Kandi witnessed it.

Why is she lying about this?! I wouldn’t judge her at all! Is it because Ralph? Is it because it doesn’t make her look like a good Christian?

Kandi and Kenya Moore were barely in this episode because Kenya had a nasty fall and had to go to the hospital. 

This is the opposite of healing.

[msmovingforward]

A For Effort

Wow! Tiffany may just be the biggest evil genius the entire Housewives universe has ever seen! You mean to tell me you graduated Cornell at 19, graduated medical school at 23, and you didn’t see the irony in serving cricket pizza in order to trigger someone who was infamously called a “chirpy little Mexcian?” (LeeAnne’s words, not mine). Tiffany knows exactly what she’s doing. You don’t have advanced scientific degrees and your own wine label, but need Pancho the chef to explain to everyone what salami is. Though I’m not falling for her “I never had girlfriends” sob story, I’m loving the deliciousness with which she is playing the victim to our faces while riling these southern belles up like swinging piñatas. Sorry I had to get these thoughts out before they escaped me. Onto the recap proper!

We open with Mr. and Mrs. Moon discussing the aforementioned pizza soiree. Tiffany really does have everyone in her life on a delicate thread. She masterfully guilts her husband into doing EVERYTHING to set up this party (decorating, making pizza dough-which is a frickin’ process in case you’ve never attempted it) by saying she’s extremely stressed about fitting in with her new friends. (Will they accept her for two seasons in a row?!) Tiffany knows this is her time to do something BIG in order to really brand her name on the cattle that is the Dallas Housewives, and that thing is using her $15,000 pizza oven for a group of friends that includes two women who probably don’t eat. (The last time I remember a pizza oven being mentioned as a centerpiece for a party was when Camille Grammer invited everyone to her house to drink vodka out of fishbowls and find out when they were going to die and lose their legs, but I’m digressing). Tiffany makes an Excel Spreadsheet, and the two clink to pizza parties.

D’Andra heads over to her Shaman’s house. This guy is just a gay with a lot of feelings in a robe, and you know what?! Good for him! You get that money! He had to do something with all that left over spirit gum from the community theater production of Fiddler that shut down due to COVID, and what better use than fake sideburns to convince sad rich women you’re a spiritual guru?! We learn that D’Andra has developed a twitch from all the trauma of fighting with Kari in Grapevine last week. The shaman asks what D’Andra thinks she might be projecting to invite negative energy, and we’re shown flashbacks of D’Andra mom shaming Kari in last week’s episode, screaming, “I don't even care because you were my fucking friend! ... You have three kids that are grown. One child home that is under your care.” With a completely blank stare on her face, D’Andra says, “I don’t know the answer to that honestly.” The shaman tries to get D’Andra to see the bigger picture, telling her that in life there will always be people saying things she doesn’t like, but D’Andra just blames Kari yet again, saying that Kari is just jealous of her. The shaman advises D’Andra to always come from a place of love, so no one can accuse her of having negative intentions, which I’m sure D’Andra will misinterpret in episodes to come, and then he has her lie on the floor as he spreads rose pedals on her, so she can receive the gifts of Mother Earth. I’m in the wrong area of work, clearly. How much is this dude charging for this? I tell women they’re queens and listen to them bitch all day, and I don’t get paid for it!

Kameron is with her dog and her daughter in their living room in preparation for Brad the hot dog trainer to pay a house call. It’s hard for me to tell whose name I hate more, Fanci, her dog, or Hilton, her daughter. Is she named after Paris or the hotel chain itself? Gag! Court enters and informs the two small children and the dog as well as Kameron that an interested couple had just toured their home for a third time, and they have decided not to buy. I really hate Court. Why would he tell the six year old children and the dog this? Kameron is clearly not listening. At first, I felt bad for Kameron because I thought she wasn’t being given a chance to have a say in this, but then I realized this is 20 fucking 20, and she doesn’t need permission to be strong and independent. God, Kameron! What is with the Dallas women in particular and playing victims? If you want to sell the house for more then get in there and hustle, girl! Kameron informs the audience via her confessional that “[My dream house] could sell, then it could be off the market. Then Guess what! I don't have another house that I'm obsessed with!” Some women have jobs, Kameron. Even Kari is pretending to make jewelry! Some women actually take their dogs outside to walk them! Then again, I am watching this show because this is where the humor lies. Court really is the worst kind of man, though. He openly mocks Kameron’s feelings to his six year old daughter’s face, joking that if she gets hysterical about the house selling for too low, the two of them have a contract not to tell Kameron. Again, though, this IS the life Kameron is choosing. I wonder what the shaman would have to say about THIS?!

Brad comes in and informs them that letting Fanci just have a bone all the time to keep her occupied is the same as giving your kids an iPad at church. Kameron says without even a hint of irony that that is what they do with their kids at church. Brad informs the family that they’re doing a C+ job at training Fanci. Kameron, who’s never probably gotten a grade above C- in her life is thrilled, saying, “At least we got a letter!” Kameron informs us in her testimonial that she needs to feel control over training Fanci because there’s so little in her life right now she does have control over, including COVID and her home selling for too little, making her unable to afford a bigger version of her current home. ACTUALLY IF YOU DID ANYTHING EXCEPT STRAP YOUR DOG TO A TREADMILL, YOU MIGHT FIND YOU DO HAVE SOME AGENCY HERE, KAMERON. Ugh...

Stephanie is diligently working on receiving her Nobel Peace Prize by setting up her office space so that she can spend Travis’s money to give public schools luxury locker rooms. She’s heroically painted her office the same shade of off white that she’s going to have someone else paint one of the locker rooms to make sure she likes it. The pressure is really mounting, though, because if she doesn’t finish her office in time, she’s made a bet that she will have to touch Travis. No one wants that! He’s hairy! Travis comes into the unfinished office with flowers, and informs Stephanie that she’s already over budget. (Her budget, for which she did absolutely no research before setting, is $100,000, but the lockers alone are costing $70,000). Stephanie jokes that she’s going to have to prostitute herself to afford these renovations. Travis says she’s probably not good enough in bed to raise that much money. Healthy.

We are shown vignettes of the women trying to figure out what to wear to a chic pizza party. I’m confused because I’m pretty sure chic pizza party isn’t much different from chic square dance, which is what I imagine most of Dallas’s social events to look like. Kari is getting her makeup done, and she shares a text with her makeup artist that reads, “Just to set expectations: I'll probably be wrapping up the party at like 10:30, because I have a meeting tomorrow and I want to be fresh for it. Can't wait to see you all tonight.” Kari informs us that she’s NEVER gotten a text like that before in her life. Stephanie and Kameron are riding together to Tiffany’s, and Stephanie says she’s always in bed by 10, so she doesn’t have a problem with it. (Me too, Stephanie!) Kameron informs us that proper etiquette would have been to send out printed invitations with a set end time. I think Tiffany knew exactly what she was starting when she sent out this text. D’Andra arrives to the party with a container of some sort of deli salad topped with a white bow, and Tiffany freaks out that D’Andra needs to put on shoe covers. I wonder if she and Mary Cosby use the same brand. Stephanie and Kameron arrive right behind D’Andra with a piñata they forgot to give Kari at her 50th birthday party. Tiffany shows off her closet filled with easily a million dollars’ worth of Birkin bags. I do have to say, Tiffany’s closet easily outshines both Lisa Vanderpump’s and Bethany Frankel’s. I just hope TIffany has proper safeguards against moths.

The last to arrive are Kari and Brandi. In the car, Kari informs Brandi that she’s essentially over trying to make a real friendship work with D’Andra, but they can be superficial friends, and Kari will just keep D’Andra at arm’s length. So basically how it probably was all along. This story line sucks, Kari.

The two arrive just in time for Tiffany to tell everyone there’s going to be a contest to see who makes the best pizza. She also lays down some ground rules, saying, “You just have to be honest. I know that's really hard in this group ... The number two rule is no fighting. (Kari looks pissed about this rule). On your first infraction, you shall receive a verbal warning. The second time, you get pizza flour thrown in your face. (Kameron nods like she understands). Like 'Stop fighting!' And rule number three is have fun!” Brandi makes a fair point that having fun is the point of a party, and this was Tiffany’s last rule.

It isn’t until this point that I realize lackluster friend of the wives Jen is in attendance. You know it’s bad when the friend of is being outshined by the Shaman.

The women bust open Kari’s piñata, which contains a riddle: “What's wet, long, thin, hot, and down south?” Somehow this means the women will be taking a cast trip to Austin to further drag out Kari’s birthday party.

The gals make and eat their pizzas. Kameron informs us that dabbing the grease off the pizza takes away 250 calories. After the very stupid pizza contest winner is determined Tiffany reveals that they all just ate crickets, which she hid in her pizza toppings. Needless to say, Kari is PISSED. The only thing it’s appropriate to pour down someone’s throat is tequila! Brandi has to run inside to throw up, but not before she puts shoe covers on! Tiffany had intended to win Brandi over because Brandi’s love language is pranks, but this clearly has backfired. D’Andra starts meditating, and then Kameron’s alarm goes off to inform everyone they only have 8 minutes before 10:30, so they’d better scram. Not even Tiffany could have predicted these women would be so humorless. It looks like she’s going to really have to step it up if she wants to be in this clique! Tiffany informs us that the party probably got a B-, which to a tiger mom like her is basically an F. Didn’t Tiffany say she never came home with less than an A? Rough!

Will Tiffany recover from this horrible prank gone awry? Will Stephanie be able to help high school athletic departments? Will Jen ever say anything? How does she know these women? One thing is for sure; we are definitely going to long, thin, hot, wet, southern... Austin? next week!

[laresearchette]

Tuesday, January 05, 2020 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: THIS IS US (CTV) 9:00pm THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF DALLAS (Slice) 9:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST  (NBC Feed) GORDON RAMSAY'S AMERICAN ROAD TRIP (Fox Feed) PBS AMERICAN PORTRAIT (PBS Feed) THE PROOF IS OUT THERE (Premiering on January 08 on History Canada at 10:00pm) CHOPPED: GRUDGE MATCH (TBD - Food Network Canada)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME/CRAVE/NETFLIX CANADA/CBC GEM:

CRAVE TV BILLY MADISON CADDYSHACK HAPPY GILMORE NETFLIX CANADA GABBY’S DOLLHOUSE HISTORY OF SWEAR WORDS LA’S FINEST (Season 1) ¡NAILED IT! MÉXICO (Season 3) SUMMERLAND

IIHF WORLD JUNIORS (TSN/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5) 5:30pm: Bronze Medal (TSN/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5) 9:30pm: Gold Medal

NBA BASKETBALL (SN) 7:30pm: Jazz vs. Nets (TSN2) 8:00pm: Lakers vs. Grizzlies (SN1) 9:00pm: Timberwolves vs. Nuggets (SN) 10:00pm: Spurs vs. Clippers (TSN2) 10:30pm: Bulls vs. Trail Blazers

HUDSON & REX (City) 8:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): On the third anniversary of Charlie and Rex´s partnership, Charlie recounts how a high-stakes kidnapping brought the duo together on their first case.

SECRETS IN THE ICE (Super Channel Fuse) 8:00pm:  A frozen lake deep in the Himalayas melts once a year to expose hundreds of human bones and a centuries-old mystery of astonishing carnage; leaving experts to speculate if it was a single catastrophic event or something much more sinister.

22 MINUTES (CBC) 8:30pm: A look back at the very best sketches from the very worst year. BARONESS VON SKETCH SHOW (CBC) 9:00pm (BONUS EPISODES): Did you believe the CBC when they said that Baroness was over? FOOL! There are some bonus eps to burn. Tonight,  a look at Mercury retrograde; a cake with a threatening aura; Red Wine Ladies go to the cottage.

LET'S GET PHYSICAL (CHCH) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): After his father dies, Joe Force discovers he'll receive his $8 million dollar inheritance only if he beats his rival, Barry Cross, at the next Competitive Aerobics Championships.

TRAFFICKED WITH MARIANA VAN ZELLER (Nat Geo Canada) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Mariana dives into the world of international scamming to understand how it all works.

CHAOS IN COURT (Investigation Discovery) 9:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Infamous sex abuse sports doctor attacked by angry parent; a gang member, a snitch and the FBI collide; defiant defendant curses out judge; murderer taunts mother of two teenage sons. ANYONE'S GAME (Documentary) 9:00pm/9:30pm/10:00pm/10:30pm/11:00pm/11:30pm (SERIES BINGE): As Orangeville Prep prepares for another season, they'll have to deal with an unexpected blow to their team.

HUMOUR RESOURCES (CBC) 9:30pm (SERIES PREMIERE):  Jon Dore, an HR manager, offers career advice to stand-up comedians.

RAMY (CHCH) 9:30pm (SERIES PREMIERE): If you want to know why you're so confused all the time, you don't wash between your toes; it's that simple.

HEAVY RESCUE: 401 (Discovery Canada) 10:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): A load of lumber spills across the 401 in the heart of Toronto, John Allen heads into the first storm of the season; after an injury on the job, Gary must lean on Collin for a heavy yet delicate recovery; Sonny makes a major change in his life.

THE OSBOURNES WANT TO BELIEVE (DTour) 10:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Jack shows a video of alleged paranormal activity to Sharon and Ozzy, who are skeptical of it.

THE HAVES AND THE HAVE NOTS (OWN Canada) (SEASON PREMIERE): The lives and friends of the wealthy Cryer family and the people who serve them.

A PERFECT PLANET (BBC Earth Canada) 10:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Without volcanoes, life on Earth would never have begun; they are responsible for both the planet's breathable atmosphere and the oceans; mineral-rich ash from regular eruptions fertilize the land.

[tabloidtoc]

Star, April 13

Cover: Divorce Bombshells -- Reese Witherspoon, Mila Kunis, Julia Roberts 

Page 1: Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas are ramping up their relationship 

Page 2: Contents, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Ellen DeGeneres show off social distancing 

Page 3: Trisha Yearwood and Kristin Chenoweth, Kaia Gerber and a pup she fostering from the Labelle Foundation, Ashley Tisdale 

Page 4: Bindi Irwin and longtime love Chandler Powell tied the knot in a small secret ceremony at the Australia Zoo 

Page 5: Jeremy Renner wants to slash his child support payments for his daughter Ava from $30,000 a month to $11,000 because he says his income has dried up now that the Marvel series has wrapped and he doesn’t have any big projects in the works, it seemed like Ronan Farrow had won a huge victory when a New York publisher backed down from releasing his dad Woody Allen’s controversial memoir amid fierce public backlash only to see the tell-all released by a different company, Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian are at it again after a new video surfaced of the infamous 2016 phone call between Swift and Kanye West about his controversial Famous single 

Page 6: Miley Cyrus just launched her Instagram talk show but Hollywood is already buzzing that it could be a blockbuster hit on TV, Colton Underwood’s juicy tell-all’s most shocking revelation isn’t about Cassie Randolph or Aly Raisman but his doubts about his own sexuality, Star Spots the Stars Fashion Edition -- Zoe Saldana, Kate Hudson, Whitney Cummings, Rachel Brosnahan, Hilaria Baldwin, Whitney Port, Olivia Palermo 

Page 8: Star Shots -- Christina Milian, Benji Madden and Cameron Diaz on a trip to the grocery store, Jessica Alba 

Page 9: Sasha Farber towed a furry companion in his pet-friendly bike, Simon Cowell in Malibu 

Page 10: Emma Roberts goes to the grocery store, Wells Adams does a workout with his beloved dog Carl, Tori Spelling 

Page 11: Ryan Seacrest working from home, Ariel Winter left a studio with a script 

Page 12: Myleene Klass, Molly Sims and kids Scarlett and Grey

Page 13: Tia Mowry and daughter Cairo, Minnie Driver jogging 

Page 14: The View guest host Sara Haines wore a sweater saying Do Your Part; Stay Apart, Ali Fedotowsky and her kids Molly and Riley, Jeannie Mai 

Page 15: Tyler Cameron with his rescue pooch Harley, Gwyneth Paltrow wore a mask and gloves to a farmers’ market

Page 16: Maya Rudolph played Burning Questions with guest host Alec Baldwin on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Pierce Brosnan and wife Keely Shaye Smith in Hawaii

Page 17: Olivia Wilde goes for a coffee run, pregnant Katy Perry snacks on a pickle, Reese Witherspoon celebrated her birthday with a nature walk with husband Jim Toth and kids Ava and Deacon and Tennessee 

Page 18: Tammin Sursok, Ashley Tisdale picks up some takeout 

Page 19: Alessandra Ambrosio walks her dog Cinnamon, Luke Evans works on his tan in Miami, Sam Smith in London 

Page 20: Normal or Not? Paris Jackson pumps gas, Joel McHale stocked up on leafy greens at a local farmers’ market 

Page 21: January Jones wearing a Deesse face mask while dancing and sipping beer through a straw, Busy Philipps got her hair and makeup done by daughters Cricket and Birdie, Jason Statham tends to his grounds in LA 

Page 22: Fashion -- pastels -- Renee Zellweger, Katharine McPhee Foster, Jennifer Lopez 

Page 23: Sarah Hyland, Sophie Skelton, Kristin Cavallari 

Page 26: Pregnant Michelle Williams and Thomas Kail’s secret wedding 

Page 27: They’ve only been dating  for a few months but Lady Gaga’s convinced she’s found her match in Michael Polansky, Mark Consuelos is red-faced that wife Kelly Ripa regularly boasts about their sex life and posts sexy photos on social media and gushes about him to anyone who’ll listen and he’s asking her to tone it down, Love Bites -- Meghan McCain and husband Ben Domenech pregnant, Lana Del Rey and Sean “Sticks” Larkin split, Maren Morris and husband Ryan Hurd welcomed a son, Kevin Hart’s wife Eniko Parrish is pregnant, Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich dating 

Page 28: Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich working on their marriage, Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock are making the most of their time in Montana now that filming for The Kelly Clarkson Show has been suspended and her Las Vegas residency postponed amid the Covid-19 crisis, Angelica Ross was shocked to find out thanks to social media sleuths that her significant other had a secret life she knew nothing about 

Page 29: The ink is barely dry on Tim Tebow and Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters’ wedding licence but he is already eager to start their family but she isn’t in as much of a rush as he is, Nina Dobrev and Shaun White who’ve been quietly seeing each other for months are having a ball 

Page 30: Lockdown Love Triangles -- marriages in crisis -- Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth always arguing, Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher keep rehashing past conflicts like Ashton’s wandering eye, Julia Roberts and Danny Moder screaming matches 

Page 32: Amal and George Clooney fighting over where to live 

Page 34: Real Housewives of New York City spill all 

Page 36: Royals on Lockdown -- with coronavirus restrictions and Prince Charles’ diagnosis separating the family, the royals are trying to keep calm and carry on 

Page 38: Celebrity Cheapskates -- Lady Gaga, Hilary Swank, Jennifer Lawrence, Carrie Underwood 

Page 39: LeBron James, Tiger Woods, Dwayne Johnson 

Page 40: Kendall Jenner, Rachael Ray, Jeremy Piven, Meryl Streep, Keira Knightley, Julia Roberts 

Page 41: Kristen Bell, Mark Zuckerberg, Paul McCartney, Tyra Banks, Sarah Michelle Gellar 

Page 44: Style -- raincoats -- Logan Browning 

Page 46: Beauty -- waterproof makeup -- Sofia Vergara 

Page 48: Entertainment 

Page 50: Q&A -- Mark Anthony Cuevas of Love Is Blind 

Page 60: Parting Shot -- Sean Hayes wearing a fanged face mask and black gloves amid the Covid-19 pandemic 

[tiffanyunscripted]

9 Creepy, Thrilling, and Mystery Movies You Should Rent from DVD Netflix

Witness (1985)

The Amish remain a mystery for some. They keep to themselves and only venture into the city as needed. When detective John Book (Harrison Ford) goes undercover in an Amish community to protect a boy who witnessed a murder, he soon discovers how tight-knit the community is. As he adjusts to the culture shock, he finds himself falling for the boy's mother.

Stepford Wives (1975)

New York photographer Joanna Eberhart (Katherine Ross) and her husband Walter (Peter Masterson) leave the city for the tranquility of suburban life. Things are not as tranquil as they assumed when they begin to notice something strange about the town's housewives. The women seem almost mechanical as they go about their day.

Stepford Wives (2004)

In the 2004 remake,  Joanna (Nicole Kidman) and her husband (Matthew Broderick) are the ones questioning the odd behavior of Claire (Glenn Close). Things get even stranger when Claire is not the only one. What could be wrong with the women of Stepford? Are they just lonely housewives bored with their routines or is there something else going on?

Population 436 (2006)

A town whose population number hasn't changed in a century sparks census taker (Jeremy Sisto) curiosity. How are the residents of Rockwell Falls able to achieve the incredible feat? Something dubious must be taking place in a creepy town. He soon discovers this to be true upon his arrival. His liberties and freedom are stripped. He's forced to live by their rules or meet a fate worse than death.

Us (2019)

Plans to relax with friends during a vacation trip goes south when uninvited guests make their stay a living nightmare.

The Mist (2007)

A strange mist hovers over a town after a weird storm. The residents who are unfortunate to venture outside discover dark forces are at work when people start dying. A group of residents is trapped in a grocery store in an attempt to survive the gruesome fog. Will they survive?

It (2017)

The hugely popular Stephen King novel spawned another remake.  This time director Andrés Muschietti ("Mama") takes on the film. Children are disappearing in the town of Derry, Maine without explanation. An evil clown named Pennywise is the culprit. The murderous clown is responsible for centuries of horrific crimes. If you don't fear clowns, you may after watching this film!

Jigsaw (2017)

Corpses pile up and there's no end in sight as a supposed dead serial killer restarts his killing spree! John Kramer is the infamous "Jigsaw." Investigators work against the clock to stop him from increasing his numbers.

The Call (2013)

A 911 operator and a teenage girl bond over the girl's abduction by a serial killer. The girl's frantic call prompts the operator who's dealt with the perpetrator before fights to save the girl.

You can watch these films with your family over a huge bowl of popcorn. Rent them from DVD Netflix via dvd.netflix.com. Add them to your queue today. If you don’t have an account, you can sign-up for a free month. If you decide to keep the membership, pay as little as $7.99 per month to enjoy DVD Netflix’s massive database of blockbusters, documentaries, independent films, and more.

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