#indian cinema fanboy things

[hag-lad]

Devara changed my entire life and brain chemistry and I’m supposed to just go about life like nothing happened?????!!! I’m supposed to do chores?! To complete tasks???!!! To talk to people about anything OTHER than NTR30???????

[hag-lad]

@knightinpinkunderwear

[hag-lad]

Update: I’m not gay anymore, Shyam Singha Roy finished what RRR started, hunky boys are now my soul concern and my primary reason for living. I would give my life for this Marxist feminist king, my wife and I both agreed that we would get a divorce if it meant either one of us had a chance with him, I can’t imagine a more perfect man and I don’t want to. You may not like it, but this is what peak male performance looks like.

[hag-lad]

All day every day it never stops and I don’t want it to

[dweemeister]

An embarrassing (?), incomplete list of popular films I've not seen

Yes, this is a film blog... albeit a blog dedicated to older movies. I try to watch more pre-1980 movies than post-1980 movies each year, so this of course means there are major newer titles that I have never gotten around to and are somehow still on my watchlist. So I guess that’s sort of embarrassing? My rationale sometimes is that those truly popular post-1980 movies - because they are on TV so much - make me think: “Oh, they’ll always be on TV so I can wait a bit longer.” Movies that are the beginning of long franchises I haven’t begun are things I avoid for some strange reason. The 1980s are also my least favorite decade of filmmaking. In addition, it should be noted I was a sensitive child. There are many R-rated movies from the 1980s-late 2000s I’ve never seen because I was sheltered and I was easily scared.

For my energetic, vocal followers who are versed in Indian cinema... there are no Indian movies down here. I’m not embarrassed over my lack of knowledge in Indian cinema because the lack of availability and platforms to access in the U.S.

Anyways I’m rambling. Here’s a list of movies I’m sort of embarrassed - I really shouldn’t be, though - to not have seen by this point. I’ve done this sort of list before, but I can’t find the post. So I expect all of you to lose trust in my movie tastes and expertise after reading this! I’ll try to explain what’s preventing me from seeing some of these, too. Without further ado (in chronological order and most embarrassing bolded... so I guess the juiciest stuff that most of my followers will be aghast at will be at the bottom):

Little Caesar (1931)... “Is this the end of Rico?” I wouldn’t know! This iconic gangster movie’s been on my watchlist forever.

Tarzan the Ape Man (1932)... The Weissmuller Tarzan is on TCM so often. Because I know it’s a long-running series makes me less-hesitant to get into it.

Screwball comedies including: Libeled Lady (1936), My Man Godfrey (1936), The Philadelphia Story (1940; oh my god it’s always on TCM too)

Angels with Dirty Faces (1938)

Gentleman’s Agreement (1947)

Sansho the Bailiff (1954, Japan)... so. much. praise.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)... I mean, knowing the premise, I’m preparing for it to be really meh despite Stanley Donen directing (if you say so @halfwaythruthedark)

Oklahoma! (1955)... not really familiar with this R&H musical in the first place

Two Federico Fellini films in particular: La Dolce Vita (1960, Italy) and 8½ (1963, Italy)... I’ve seen plenty of his stuff but these are glaring holes

It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963)

Andrei Rublev (1966, Soviet Union)

The Omen (1976)

Animal House (1978)... okay okay Little Red Reading Hood (you know who you are) get ready to be horrified even more in a few moments

Caddyshack (1980)

The Shining (1980)... I’ve seen bits and parts but otherwise I’ve refused to watch it because I don’t want it being chopped up by commercials

The Thing (1982)... because I really like the original and I’m meh on John Carpenter

Flashdance (1983)... because if there’s anything that can make me roll my eyes and sort of enjoy at the same time... it’s ‘80s power ballads. Like Seven Brides, I’m expecting this to suck hard.

Footloose (1984)... ffs

GhostBusters (1984)... never been a Bill Murray fan and it’s ALWAYS on television (I’m procrastinating, remember)

The NeverEnding Story (1984)... too many friends have grown up with it and I’ve never gotten around to it

Once Upon a Time in America (1984)

The Black Cauldron (1985)... here only because I wanna stick it to my Disney-loving friends

Blue Velvet (1986)... not a fan of David Lynch... so am I missing out on something?

Top Gun (1986)... great soundtrack but... do I have to? :|

Dirty Dancing (1987)... *grumbles about ‘80s power ballads again*

Full Metal Jacket (1987)... seen in parts. I’m Viet-American and I hate Vietnam War movies. And I do not like the parts that I have seen.

Die Hard (1988)... the recent movement proclaiming this as the best Christmas movie ever is pissing the hell off of me. I don’t care if this might be the action movie ever... that kind of fanboyish behavior is off-putting.

Ghost (1990)... because all of the folks a generation above me in the family have seen it. Whoopi is always a plus, but I don’t care for Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore?

Free Willy (1993)

Groundhog Day (1993)... see GhostBusters

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)... I’ve seen more than half of it but never all the way through

Chungking Express (1994, Hong Kong)

Dumb and Dumber (1994)... I don’t like Jim Carrey. It’s something that will come up later in this list.

Braveheart (1995)... referenced so often but Mel Gibson? *sigh*

Casper (1995)

Ghost in the Shell (1995, Japan)... a lot of anime-centric fans have badgered me with this one over the years

Jumanji (1995)... it scared the heck out of me when I was younger and I never completed it

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)... haven’t seen a single Austin Powers movie all the way through. Something tells me it may not be worth it.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)... I actually only saw the first movie in late 2013. Too frightened of dinosaurs when I was younger. And a lot of people I know have seen the sequel. 

The Big Lebowski (1998)... this is a biggie. I know it’s Coen Brothers. I know it’s supposed to be really funny, but it’s really hard for me to like a raunchy comedy... is it witty and intelligent? Maybe a good message?

The Truman Show (1998)... people have tried to describe this to me but it never makes any sense each time they try. I dislike Jim Carrey and think his brand of humor is on the cruel, hyperactive side.

Fight Club (1999)... because fuck David Fincher (those are three words that could get me in serious trouble with fanboys) and all the toxic masculinity in his movies not nearly as well-critiqued as people think

The Green Mile (1999)... it was big with dad and my uncles back in the day... the 3+ hour runtime for a movie that isn’t an epic is keeping me away

The Sixth Sense (1999)... Remember I was a sheltered, easily-scareable kid!

X-Men (2000)... I’ve never seen the one that started it all. Superhero media has never been something I’ve sought too much. Even as a young kid.

Amélie (2001, France)... it’s just not been available on any platform that I have access to and I prefer to see non-English language movies legally if I can (supehero movies though? fuck it I’ll theater hop; Marvel doesn’t need more money)

Moulin Rouge! (2001)... a few of my friends love it. I’m skeptical of Baz Luhrmann movies always.

City of God (2002, Brazil)... see explanation for Amélie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)... chalk it up to Jim Carrey and me being sheltered

Rent (2005)... lots of girls in middle school and high school liked this movie. Its popularity drew me away from it.

Before you doth protest too much, remember that this blog is concentrated on pre-1980 stuff and I limit my post-1980 movie consumption so that I’m well-rounded chronologically and can understand film history better. I’ve seen plenty of obscure stuff that should find a larger audience, regardless of how old that movie is, and I promote those movies a lot. And considering Roger Ebert passed away having never seen The Sound of Music (1965) and I’m only in my mid-20s? I’m not doing too bad.

[hag-lad]

Lyrics:

One?! I can’t do… one point about Tarak, I looovvee Tarak as a whooollllle perrrsonnnnn I think he’s sexsiiii I, look LOOK AT TARAK today! I think, if you give him a RRRRRRED CARPET right now, he will be one of the most good-looking models walking on it! Y— yeah, we have a red carpet. I mean. He looks SMASHING today.

True luv is real...

[akash-suresh-blog]

MANI RATNAM fanboy...Then, Now & Forever❤️... Happy Birthday Mani Sir❤... . How many people in your memory has names that literally speaks out to the world who they're?. Well, I know only one person and that's Gopala Ratnam Subramaniam aka #ManiRatnam. He's indeed the Ratnam(Jewel) of Indian Cinema. Thanks for being the kind of storyteller that you're. Thanks for giving us stories etched in our hearts. Thanks for portraying love and life in a way the silver screen has never seen before. Thanks for taking aestheticism to a whole new level. Thanks for your associations with legends like Ilaiyaraaja, Ar Rahman, PC Sreeram, Santosh Sivan, Vairamuthu, Sreekar Prasad and many others, which have given us innumerable things like our profile pictures, wallpapers, ringtones and what not. Thanks for saying stories through silences, mirrors, reflections, trains and buses. Thanks for existing and inspiring a generation or two. Please continue to do that for eternity and make our lives more beautiful. . . . #HappyBirthdayManiRatnam #FanboyForLife #autuer #legend #MadrasTalkies #Iruvar #KannathilMuthamittal #MounaRagam #DilSe #Anjali #Roja #Bombay #Thalapathi #Guru #Alaipayuthey #OkKanmani #AaythaEzhuthu #KaatruVeliyidai #ChekkaChivanthaVaanam https://www.instagram.com/p/ByNLHPCp4dI/?igshid=1ps0cf56kp3ob

[musingsofmaniacs]

The Wachowskis - Reloaded

“The real violence, the violence I realized was unforgivable, is the violence that we do to ourselves, when we’re too afraid to be who we really are.” 

                                                                              —Nomi, from Sense8

Imagine if, 10 years ago, a transgender director with 2 back-to-back flops that costed $100 million each, whose last hit happened 13 years ago pitches an idea for a science-fiction series centered around 8 people who somehow are psychically connected to each other, dealing with complex issues including LGBT rights , shot in 8 different parts of world including places as far as India, strewn with little known faces. Now she wants you, an executive from The Studio, to throw your money at it. Of course you will turn it down.

That’s why Netflix has been a gift to the world of television. A platform where you could experiment with bold ideas with corporate backing and without tight budgetary constraints and reach the right audiences. One half of the credit goes to Netflix for agreeing to Sense 8, which had its first season coming out in 2015.

The other half of course goes to the visionary duo of Lilly and Lana Wachowski, the Wachowski sisters. Wachowskis are known to be reclusive as they rarely give out interviews, preferring to let their work do the talking. They started as Wachowski Brothers with a little known indie-thriller about a lesbian couple scamming off millions of dollars. But their watershed moment of course came in 1999 with Matrix. The thinking man finally got an action film, and suddenly the whole world started questioning the nature of their reality, while trying to stop imaginary bullets with their hands.

The film is now an undisputed classic changing the landscape of sci-fi films with slo-mo action sequences, slick trench coats, slicker shades and spartan, monochromatic, and polished backgrounds for depicting dystopia. Blending Buddhism, Advaita Hinduism, Christianity, Messianism, existentialism, and nihilism with green tone, smooth action sequence and eclectic music, The Matrix cemented its position as one of the greatest films ever.

There is No Spoon

The sequels were as bad as the part I was good, and the good times made themselves scarce for the duo for considerable part of the next 10 years. Animatrix got a lukewarm response, though it is a recommended watch. The only hit they saw was V for Vendetta, in which they had screenwriting credit. Amidst this, Larry transitioned to Lana and took a break. Speed Racer went kaput, few short movies went unnoticed, a few more Matrix video-games here and there and we arrive at Cloud Atlas.

Cloud Atlas proved to be the most divisive movie of the year. You either loved it or you hated it. It was one of the most difficult-to-film novels, and the story was too risky for big shots like Warner Bros. to back. Cloud Atlas remains the costliest Indie movie ever made, with a budget of 100 Million Dollars which it unfortunately failed to recover.

I happen to belong to the former category, and Cloud Atlas was the film that truly cemented my respect for the duo, making them one of my favorite directors. It only got better with Sense8. So what gives? Why are they brilliant? Are their movies that good? Eh… not really. Many a times, plot feels not-too-fleshed out. Dialog feels too contrived, and this is especially my complaint with Sense8. Acting can get ham-handed to the point that it makes you cringe. Look no further than the Indians in Sense8, Tina Desai and Purab Kohli for proof. Yikes.

But I am eagerly waiting for the second season. And I was bowled over by Cloud Atlas, as I was when I experienced The Matrix. That siblings to bring to us such brave, bold and risky ventures in the face of a possibility abject failure hanging on their heads like a sword is absolutely worth cherishing. It boggles one’s mind to realise that there are multitudes of stories, events and lives that deserve to but will never see the silver screen, because the executives up there are too afraid to lose money or audiences over it, thinking the masses will not accept it. Or the directors feel discomfited stepping even an inch out of their comfort zone, preferring to stay within the neat little boxes that guarantee profits. How many pointless Marvel, DC, X-Men, Fast and Furious sequels have we had to endure that add no value to their respective universes but are sure shot cash cows because the fanboys will gobble it up like an over-sweetened cotton candy? The permutations and combinations of concepts, arcs, elements, and characters that will make for a cinema experience worth remembering but won’t get made, because they may not get the cash registers ringing or they may not pass the censors, is too damn high.

I know, I know, we live in a real world where real money by real people with real stakes are involved and there is nothing wrong in making honest money by making people forget their blues for an hour and half. But are the directors not doing a disservice to their mind-blowing talent by not taking risks and making the movies they really want to make? Joss Whedon, the man who concocted Firefly, is now stuck with making formulaic Avengers films with Tony Stark’s tired smart-ass lines. Steven Spielberg made the god awful Indiana Jones part IV that brought in the dough anyway. James Cameron will resurrect Avatar, a studio requirement that has him tied up and committed to things he would otherwise dread.

Kids, don’t try this at home. Or during a Nuclear Armageddon.

And that is why, when the duo were free from the clutches of The Studio, Cloud Atlas happened. The ambitiousness of the story, the boldness of the concept, and idea and the audacity to spend big money on it and bring it to life is enthralling to see, filling one with hope that the idea of taking risks and walking along the road not taken is not dead. The film, with its scale, depth, and compassion imprints onto the patron, so that they can take the film with them home. More importantly, if one feels that a homage to Wachowskis for their intentions is like a Nobel Prize to Obama for the same, the film is highly enjoyable and entertaining. Hugh Grant, the crown prince of chocolate boys, plays variety of villains, including a barbaric tribal, and that’s another reason why this is a recommended watch. Better still, Hugo Weaving, ‘Mr Anderson’ and a Wachowski favorite, plays an old mean lady, a Nurse Ratched of old age home if you will.

Which makes their push to Sense8, after Cloud Atlas spectacular debacle, all the more laudable. Sense8 has a gay actor hiding his identity, a transgender woman as a part of lesbian couple, a woman fighting misogyny at the highest level, a policeman who inherited a haunting unsolved case,  and a myriad mix of other sensates, struggling with finding their places in the worlds, that are connected mentally, can communicate with each other mentally, can experience things other sensate is experiencing, can possess a fellow sensate’s body and can make love to a fellow sensate! To top it all, an evil organisation is trying to track down these sensates, like a witch hunt.

The opening quote about violence we do unto ourselves, by the transgender character in the series, becomes all the more relevant when you consider the struggle the directors had with their transition. The character who is hiding his sexuality from the world perhaps resonates with Andy hiding the Lilly in her from the world, until it was forced out of her by an evil brand of journalism that the likes of Daily Mail relish in. A great work of art is, after all an artist baring himself onto the celluloid and audience’s gate pass to the the artist’s mind palace. Lilly’s and Lana’s is a dazzling, formidable, brave, fresh, creative and interesting. Netflix is the gatekeeper in shining armor. Buy that ticket.

PS: Tom Tykwer and J Michael Straczynski also share credits for Cloud Atlas and Sense8 respectively. Tykwer is of course the brilliant German director of Run Lola Run fame and latter is the creator of Babylon 5.

PPS: If you are wondering how I conveniently missed Jupiter Ascending, well, while it does nothing to improve the tonality of this article from that of a fanboy ramble to that of an objective piece, I believe the duo do get a few strikes. Besides, 5 minutes into the movie, I couldn’t stand it. Lilly and Lana still have a bit to go to achieve greatness.

[hag-lad]

This post is my magnum opus tbh

Okay, I know it’s a mosquito net, but there’s something so gay about Ram’s bed canopy, especially with all the romantic, boudoir-style closeup shots that happen around it.

Honestly, Ram’s entire flat looks like some kind of Oscar Wilde level gay dandy professor homo bookworm heaven. No straight man can interior decorate like this!

It just makes me appreciate the attention to detail in RRR. This set was lovingly built and furnished to deepen the viewer’s understanding of Ram, and I feel like that’s something that’s totally gone in modern Hollywood. So many residential sets in American movies are sparse, minimalist, cold, clinical, barren. This set feels so much more REAL! It’s warm, lived in, and it tells me a lot about the man who occupies it. It’s not only more beautiful to look at, it’s more useful to the characterization. ESPECIALLY when you contrast it with Bheem’s intro sequence, what his home looks like. You can really feel how differently the two men had been living before they met in the middle.

Take this shot of Bheem sat comfortably on the floor while Ram stays in his wooden chair. This tells me SO MUCH about Ram’s internalized colonization and Bheem’s enduring connection to his roots.

And this shot of Bheem lovingly gazing at Ram asleep at his desk, with that tiny moment of confusion as Bheem tries to understand the words printed on the pages that surround him. The messy set is essential to my understanding of their dynamic! There are things which consume Ram that Bheem cannot understand.

Back to the canopy: Why is this shot so fucking sexy???? The intimate lighting, the delicate, diaphanous quality of the canopy and how it softens Bheem’s features… The camera treats this canopy like a wedding veil, not a functional mosquito net. It brings us into Ram’s bed with Bheem in such an erotic way… I fucking cannot get over it!!!!!

Anyway, I love Ram, I love his gay flat, and I love his mosquito net princess bed canopy. Fighting malaria AND serving interior design? You love to see it!

[hag-lad]

New pfp because I haven’t stopped laughing at this for like two weeks

[hag-lad]

RANKED: MY TOP TEN FAVORITE NANDAMURI TARAKA RAMA RAO JR LOOKS

Us Jr NTR fans are blessed to have quite the chameleon oosaravelli as our fave, because there are so many glorious looks to keep us entertained over his illustrious 30-film career. It was SO GODDAM HARD to choose just ten, but here they are! Gun to my head! His ten finest looks!

10. Krishna's pink shirt in Brindavanam

I remember when these "fcuk" shirts were all the rage, but nobody ever wore it quite like Krishna! He looks sooooo good in pink! What a little hottie. With the earrings too?!!?! Goddam it. Just. Goddam this man.

9. Kusa's mullet for Doschestha

Styling wise, I feel nothing towards this, except maybe a spark of delight to see Tarak in pink yet again. But look, Kusa does not know how to dress, and I love that for him. This look is all about THE HAIR!!!! We never see Tarak with hair this long, but it's so fucking GOOD!!!!!! The little ponytail!!!!!!!! How could one not fall in love?!

8. Simhadri's fishnet vest for Chinnadamme Cheekulu

Oh go OFF, King!!!!!!!! Look at the sheer, unfiltered ATTITUDE he's serving! Absolutely no one on Earth looks good in light-dark wash jeans (the true blight of the 2000's) but this son of a bitch pulls it off!!!! How does he do it?!

7. Munna's saffron headband in Andhrawala

Okay, so conceptually, this is the same thing as Simhadri (headband, open shirt, slutty vest, jeans) but I prefer these colors! I also prefer Munna's facial hair; it's a little more grown out, and I love Tarak most when he is FURRY. And FAT! I think Munna's got a couple pounds on Simhadri? Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't care. I love them both so much.

6. Jai's Swing Zara ensemble in Jai Lava Kusa

God, Jai is such a fucking peacock, isn't he? A total queen, the last of the old school gays. I have so much respect for his drip. Jai would never, ever, in a million years, let mortal eyes witness him looking anything less than spectacular. His beard is groomed, his hair is moussed, every stitch of clothing on his body is tailored and professionally pressed, and you know what? I think that goes for his underwear too. Or idk, maybe he's freeballin' it. He can do whatever he wants, quite frankly.

5. Tarak's Academy Awards ensemble

Who on earth would dare deny how positively GORGEOUS Tarak looked on this night!? Head to toe, so exquisite, so dashing. The bejeweled tiger! The rich black velvet! The eye makeup! The natural hair! Everything to love.

4. Tony's baby face in Oosaravelli

I want to just grab his widdol cheeks and squish them!!! He looks like an angel! A cherub!!!! This is so obviously the cutest Tarak has ever looked, but he's still so fucking sexy and alluring??!?! HOW DOES HE DO IT???!!?!! I also love that liiiiiitle bit of edge he's giving with the earrings and the neck tattoo... even if it is just his own name, lmfao.

3. Ramakrishna's tank top in Rakhee

Look at this fucking BEAR!!!!!!!! I'm not gonna sugarcoat this, kids. Ramakrishna is fluffy and hot and sweaty and I bet he smells salty and I want to HUFF him so fucking bad. The lil beads of sweat take me out, god I love how raw and sexy and manly he is. Absolute HUNK, I fucking cannot say it any other way. This is a gay pornstar. I beat my meat.

2. Young Yama in Yamadonga

Oh COME ONNNN!!!! THIS is how His Majesty Nandamuri Taraka Rama Rao Jr. was meant to walk the earth: Clad in gold, dripping with jewels, eyeliner on fleek (or, as my mother would say, "on flique") just taking up ALL THE SPACE and commanding ALL THE ATTENTION. He wears regality so very well, so naturally, I become a bootlicking monarchist just looking at him!!! Drag me to hell, Young Yama!!!

1. Komuram Bheem's langoti in RRR.

Hey, you knew Bheema had to be number one!!!! I've never seen a human being look hotter than this, this is just PEAK. The body hair!!!! The nosering!!!!! The muscles!!!!!! He is fucking CUT, Tarak had to work so goddam hard for so long to look like this, I genuinely hope he never does anything like this again, but MY GOD the art is worth it. Shoutout to Rajamouli for not whitewashing him so we could behold the beauty and majesty of his real skin color!!!!! With his natural hair too!!?!?!? SEXIEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED, case closed, no argument, go home, we're done. Bheem is hot. Ram's a lucky man.

[hag-lad]

Hi, it’s me, Hag! New pfp and blog appearance, in honor of autumn and DADDY DEVARA!!! Going apeshit already, I can’t wait for this weekend aaaaAAHHHHGGHHH!!!!!

[hag-lad]

Three more weeks until I get this masterpiece tattooed on my body forever!

[hag-lad]

JAI LAVA KUSA VIA TOM OF FINLAND TATTOO IS DONE!!!! How lucky am I to have artists like @alienfuckeronmain and @ren-nolasco adorning my goblin body?!! This was so much fun and I’m so delighted to have the triplets reunited on my leg forever!

[hag-lad]

uSeRnAmE DAYA PASSWORD POLICE!!!!!!!!!

[hag-lad]

One??! I can’t do… one point about @knightinpinkunderwear , I loooove Knight as a whooollee perssooonnnn I THINK HEEZ SEXSII! And look—look LOOK AT KNIGHT TODAY! I think… if you give him a RRRRRED CARPET right now, he would be one of the most good looking models walking on it…. Yeah, we, we have a red carpet, I… he looks SMASHING today.