#incorrect shiliuguo
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incorrectmedievalchina · 6 months ago
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Tuoba Si: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Cui Hao: You and me!!!
Tuoba Si, tearing up: Okay.
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incorrectmedievalchina · 6 months ago
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Tuoba Shao: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Tuoba Gui: Only if you also don't ask why
Tuoba Gui: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Tuoba Shao:
Tuoba Gui:
Tuoba Shao: This one is fine.
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incorrectmedievalchina · 6 months ago
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Tuoba Si: I was thinking I'd do some magic-
Liu Yu: You? Magic? Tuoba Si, it says talent show.
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incorrectmedievalchina · 6 months ago
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Helian Bobo: Yao Xing, my old arch enemy.
Tuoba Si: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?
Helian Bobo: I have a life outside of you, Tuoba Si. Unlike you.
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incorrectmedievalchina · 6 months ago
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Yao Xing: Violence isn't the answer.
Helian Bobo: You’re right.
Yao Xing: *sighs in relief*
Helian Bobo: Violence is the question.
Yao Xing: What?
Helian Bobo, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Yao Xing, running after them: NO-
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incorrectmedievalchina · 6 months ago
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Honestly poor tuoba si he seems like a normal person surrounded by crazy people such as tuoba shao and tuoba gui.
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incorrectmedievalchina · 7 months ago
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Tuoba Si: I told His Majesty his ears flush when he lies.
Wang Luo'er: Why?
Tuoba Si: Look.
Tuoba Si: Hey Your Majesty! Do you love me?
Tuoba Gui, covering his ears: Yes.
Wang Luo'er:
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incorrectmedievalchina · 8 months ago
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Tuoba Si: I might die any day now.
Cui Hao: YOU WON'T YOU ARE LITERALLY 30.
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incorrectmedievalchina · 8 months ago
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Tuoba Si: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...
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incorrectmedievalchina · 8 months ago
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Tuoba Gui: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.
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incorrectmedievalchina · 8 months ago
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Tuoba Gui, after a plague kills half of his army and livestock: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
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incorrectmedievalchina · 8 months ago
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Yao Hong: Top 30 reasons why Yao Hong is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!
Liu Yu: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!
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incorrectmedievalchina · 8 months ago
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Murong Chui, negotiating with Tuoba Gui: We have Tuoba Gu. Give us ten thousand horses and he will be returned to you unharmed
Tuoba Gu: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand horses?
Murong Chui:
Tuoba Gu: MAKE IT ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND–
Murong Chui: TUOBA GU STOP
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incorrectmedievalchina · 8 months ago
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Tuoba Gui: I prevented a murder today.
Baba Song: Really? How'd you do that?
Tuoba Gui: self control.
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incorrectmedievalchina · 8 months ago
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Tuoba Gui: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Cui Xuanbo: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Tuoba Gui: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
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