#incorrect quotes markiplier egos

[faecaribou]

Wilford and Host: *sitting on a bench looking miserable* Dark: What's wrong? Wilford: Sit with us and I'll tell you. Dark, sitting down: Well? Wilford: This bench is freshly painted. Dark: Host: Yeah they did it to me too.

[foxtamer113]

The other egos, watching a bloody Wilford hug Dark:

Dark, smiling contentedly:

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2610

(Dialogue from Baldur's Gate 3.) Bonus:

[incorrect-quotes-egos]

Yancy: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Wilford: They do.

Bim: …Why did you say that with such certainty?

[shabeeboothedrawingender]

I saw this in ADWM and it was funny for my AU, so I made this.

(App: Twinote)

[adalwolfgang]

(Inspired by @archiviststar)

(Viewer): I'm having problems with a guy.

Wilford: Like his dead body won't fit in your car problems or "you like him" problems?

(Viewer): The “I like him" problems.

Wilford, shrugs : Too bad, I could have actually helped you with the other types.

(Viewer): …

(Viewer), trying not to crack a smile: You would bury yourself?

Wilford: Yeah I mean- wait-

Wilford:

[uncorrectegoquotes]

Wilford: 'You'll never find the body' is such a boring threat. A better threat would be; 'You'll never stop finding the body.'

Host, bored: Or just say, 'They'll be finding parts of you for at least four months...and you'll still be alive for three of them.'

Wilford: Now that's a threat!

Bim, covering Eric's ears: *horrified silence*

[septicwriters]

Dark: "Get on your knees."

Anti:....

Dark: "I said get down on the ground!"

Anti: "What? S̛o ̕we ca̴n ̛t̛alk to͏ e͜a͜ch̀ot͡he̷r̛ at ̛th͏e͞ ͡sa̵m̨e h̶ie͝g̀ht̕?"

[forcemetoartplease]

Incorrect Quotes from my life!

This is the only one I actually like. Some old quotes from an old work.

---

Unus: Is a chipmunk microscopic?

--

Remus: I'm the ketchup queen!

--

Iplier: We learned about the Holocaust freshman year I think.

King: But, did you learn about slavery?

Iplier: Well, slavery's an American thing.

King: The Holocaust was an American thing..

--

Patton: Roman, *points at Remus* what's his name?

Roman: ..Remus?

Patton: Logan told me you said you didn't know his name.

Roman: He was yelling at me! Like, "WHATS HIS NAME" and I was like "I-I don't know!"

Janus: Why was Logan yelling at Remus?

Virgil: He was snorting crackers.

Patton: 😦

Janus: 😦

Remus: ..They were Pringles..

--

Dark: Don't pack up, you would have to wait there for ten minutes and the only person that stands at the door for ten minutes is Jesus.

--

Mike: I wish I was homeless.

--

Bim: *To Heapass* You're gonna die how a hamster dies; get stuck in the microwave somehow.

--

King: Stop throwing sandwiches at me!

--

Dark: *Leaves meeting to grab something*

Green: *Moves to Darks chair*

Oliver: What are you doing?

Green: Shhhhh *slowly holds up crock threateningly*

Oliver: *Holds up both his shoes* Shhh

Green: *Holds up other shoe* Shhhh

Bing: *Gives Oliver his shoe*

Oliver: *Now threateningly holding up three shoes*

Green: Crap! Wilford, gimme your-

Dark: What in the name of-

Green: *Shreaks and drops shoes*

--

Remus: I'm an attack helicopter tchwtchw.

--

Iplier: I was racists in first grade

[not-mary-sue]

Actor Mark: As far back as I can remember, I always knew I deserved to be dead.

[uncool-hero]

Markiplier Ego Incorrect Quotes

Abe: Why is there blood everywhere???

Wilford: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife

Abe: YOU STABBED SOMEONE?!

Wilford: No, no, aggressively poked them with a knife

[faecaribou]

Dark: What do you call disobeying the law? Wilford: A hobby. Dark: *crosses their arms* Wilford: That I do not engage in.

[foxtamer113]

Dark: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

Wilford, cracks his knuckles: Manslaughter it is.

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2630

Roommate meeting. (Dialogue from What We Do in the Shadows.)

[incorrect-quotes-egos]

Damien: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??

Mark: What the hell do you do?

Damien: I die? What kinda question…

[shabeeboothedrawingender]

Stupid stuff that I would put in a gacha video but I'm too lazy at the moment. Featuring a lot of Egos from my AU and TEoS Dave probably who knows. It's kinda like incorrect quotes.

Dark: Wilford, do you know where half of our staff are?

Wilford: Well, our androids are plotting world domination, the Jim's are sitting in the yard trying to find something interesting to report, Yancy and Illinois are usually in a corner shoving their tongues down each other's throats and I don't even remember anything about anyone else.

Dark: ...So we're short staffed?

Wilford: Precisely.

Dave: So you sleep? Without the risk of death?

Wilford: Pretty much. If we're not overloaded on caffeine or sugar.

Dark: Sips his coffee

Wilford: ...He's special.

Engineer: Could you pass me that wrench?

Murdock: Hands him a knife

Engineer: This is a knife…?

Murdock: Same thing.

Wilford: I'm so glad that my husband has finally made friends, like honestly he was such an isolated man before now I mean look at him-

Dark and Dave are just passed out on the floor

Dark: Murder is okay.

Engineer: Mr Whitacre, they only got your order wrong-

Dark: Hah. Hahahahaha. You dare to challenge me?

Actor: Of course I do! I'm practically your god!

Dark: And I'm a politician. What the fuck do you bring to the table, asshole?

Wilford: Hey Dark, did you know your sister is alive in space?

Dark: Haha, very funny-

Ms Whitacre: Hello!

Dark: AAAAAAA-

Dark: points to Ms Whitacre My belief for this woman being real is the same as my belief for Hatsune Miku. She's a fake ass bitch whose only purpose is to taunt me.

Mack and Actor high five

✨ The friendship of two people being jealous of others ✨

Dark: You know, I really appreciate you paying for this dinner.

Wilford: Don't mention it!

Dark: Though it seems you couldn't afford anything other than ice cream.

Dave: Hey Wilford! That was your name right?

Wilford: Yes.

Dave: I taught the office crow a sentence!

Crow Dark flies in

Wilford: ...Go on Darky?

Crow Dark: I have ptsd.

Wilford: Wow-

Crow Dark: I depend on caffeine.

Dave: Now before you ask-

(Time Travel back to before wkm)

Celine: Damien?

Walks into his room

Celine: Da- Huh?

Dave is sat trying not to sleep and Damien is zonked out on sleeping pills

Celine: Who the heck? (she doesn't say hell, not very ladylike at this point in her life)

Celine: I'm here to pick up my brother's medication?

Doctor: The antidepressants, three different types of sleeping pills and painkillers?

Celine: ...

Doctor: Ma'am?

Wilford: Your dad is a crow now, how do you feel Chi-Chi?

Chi-Chi: Meow.

5 minutes later

Chi-Chi: HISSSSS!

Crow Dark: CAW?!

(Chi-chi is Dark's cat)

@side-blog-for-reblogs

@silly4goose20

I dunno I thought you'd enjoy them