#incorrect azur lane quote

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

Enterprise: I've got you!

Zuikaku: oh yeah? Well, there's only one problem. Who's gonna stop the planes? It's gotta be one or the other, Grey Ghost. Save the port, or stop your greatest enemy. You can't do both

Enterprise: I'm sorry, what did you just say?

Zuikaku: you can't do both, I said.

Enterprise: no, before that.

Zuikaku: save the port, or catch your greatest enemy?

Enterprise: you think you're my greatest enemy?

Zuikaku: yes! You're obsessed with me!

Enterprise: pfft! No I'm not.

Zuikaku: yes you are

Enterprise: no I'm not.

Zuikaku: yes you are! Who else drives you to one up them the way I do?

Enterprise: Akagi.

Zuikaku: no she doesn't.

Enterprise: Hornet.

Zuikaku: Hornet's not even a bad guy!

Enterprise: then I'd say I don't currently have A bad guy. I am fighting a few different people

Zuikaku: what?

Enterprise: I like to fight around

[incorrect-azur-lane]

Prince of Wales, [to Prinz Eugen]: When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn’t mean mocking ones.

[lauxantille]

Bismarck: I want to go into STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics)

Prinz Eugen: I want to go into STEM (spreading rumors, telling lies, exaggerating, and misinformation)

[somefandomincorrectquotes]

Prinz Eugen: Im gonna say the S word.

Prinz Eugen: Shit.

Scharnhorst: WHAT THE FUUUCK DONT SAY THAT!

Deutschland: STOP FUCKING SWEARING!

[julio-claudian-saberface]

Hungry like the wolf

Let me have ships about me that are fat; Sleek-bridgéd ships and such as sleep o’ nights:

Yond Ashigara has a lean and hungry look; She thinks too much: such ships are dangerous.

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

Mainz: en garde, and salute Wilkins' coffee!

Hipper: but I don't drink Wilkins

Mainz, taking the safety off: some people just never learn!

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

Zara: ooh, a cannoli!

Bite

Zara: not a cannoli…

One hour later

Bremerton: I'm not mad, I just want to know. Who stole my burrito?

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

In the group chat

Mainz: commander, there must be a clear division between the commander's room, and the port. We know very well how much you care about us, but a lack of boundaries may result in a lap of Discipline

Eugen: lap of Discipline

Blucher: lap of Discipline

SKK: lap of Discipline

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

Akagi: we'll burn that bridge when we get to it!

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

The girl in question is Clemenceau

Cleveland: there, right there! Look at that tan, well tended skin, look at the killer shape she's in, look at that slightly stubbly chin, oh please she's gay! Totally gay!

Belfast: I'm not about to celebrate, every trait could indicate a totally straight expatriate, this girl's not gay, I say not gay

Ensemble: that is the elephant in the room, well is it relevant to assume, that a girl who wears a suit is automatically radically fae?

Formidable: look at her coiffed and crispy locks

Cleveland: look at her silk translucent socks

Belfast: there's the eternal paradox, look what we're seeing

Atago: what are we seeing?

Belfast: is she gay?

Cleveland: of course she's gay!

Belfast: or European?

…

Ensemble: oh…

…

Ensemble: gay, or European? It's hard to guarantee. If she's gay, or European…

Tallinn: well, hey, don't look at me!

Formidable: well, they bring their girls up different in those charming foreign ports. They play peculiar sports

Ensemble: in shiny shirts and tiny shorts! Gay or foreign fella, the answer could take weeks! They both say things like "Ciao, Bella" when they kiss you on both cheeks!

Cleveland: oh, please.

Ensemble: gay or European? So many shades of grey!

Eugen: depending on the time of day, the French go either way

Ensemble: is he gay or European, or-

Massachusetts: there, right there! Look at that condescending smirk, seen it on every ship at work! That is a metro hetro jerk, that girl's not gay, I say no way!

Ensemble: that is the elephant in the room! Well, is it relevant to assume that a hottie in that costume

Formidable: is automatically radically

Belfast: ironically, chronically

Massachusetts: certainly, curtainly

Eugen: genetically, medically

Ensemble: gay! Officially gay! Swishily gay gay gay gay

Interrupted by Clemenceau arranging a meeting with the commander

Ensemble: damn it! Gay or European?

Belfast: so stylish and relaxed

Ensemble: gay or European?

Belfast: I think her legs are waxed.

Formidable: but they bring their girls up different there, it's culturally diverse. It's not a fashion curse

Ensemble: if she wears a suit or bears a staff! Gay or just exotic, I still can't crack the code!

Brooklyn: yeah, her accent is hypnotic, but her shoes are pointy toed…

Ensemble: huh. Gay or European? So many shades of grey!

Commander: but, if she turns out straight, I'm free at eight on Saturday!

Ensemble: is she Gay or European? Gay or European? Gay or Euro-

Marco Polo: wait a minute! Gimme a chance to crack this girl, I've got an idea I'd like to try

Belfast: the floor is yours.

Marco Polo: so, Minister, this alleged affair with the commander has been going on for…

Clemenceau: two years.

Marco Polo: and your first name is?

Clemenceau: Clemenceau

Marco Polo: and your girlfriend's name is?

Clemenceau: Littorio.

Gasps

Clemenceau: I'm sorry, I misunderstand! You say girlfriend, I thought you mean good friend!

Littorio: you bastard! You lying bastard! That's it, I no cover for you no more. Peoples, I have a big announcement! This man is gay AND European!

Ensemble: whoa!

Littorio: and neither is disgrace!

Ensemble: oh!

Littorio: you've gotta stop your being a completely closet case!

Ensemble: D'oh!

Littorio: it's me, not him she's seeing, no matter what she say. I swear she never, ever, ever swing the other way. You are so gay, you big parfait, you flaming one man cabaret-

Clemenceau: I'm straight!

Littorio: you were not yesterday. So, if I may, I'm proud to say, she's gay!

Ensemble: and European!

Littorio: she's gay!

Ensemble: and European!

Littorio: she's gay!

Ensemble: and European, and gay!

Clemenceau: fine, okay, I'm gay!

Ensemble: hooray!

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

Nagato: I thought you were running it!

Akagi: I am running it. Straight into the ground.

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

Souryuu: if you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Hiryuu: what if I bite it, and it dies?

Kaga: then you're poisonous. Listen next time.

Zuikaku: what if it bites itself, and I die?

Shoukaku: that's voodoo.

Zuihou: what if it bites me, and someone else dies?

Shinano: that's correlation, not causation.

Akagi: what if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Taihou: that's kinky~

Souryuu: Kami help me…

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

Richelieu: well, I wrote this song for the Christian youth, I wanna teach kids the Christian truth. If you wanna reach those kids on the street, you gotta do a rap to a hip hop beat. So I gave my sermon an urban kick. My rhymes are fly, my beats are sick. My crew is big, and it keeps getting bigger. That's cause Jesus Christ is my n-

Clemenceau: non!

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

Hood: fuck I*is "people"

Hood: what? Do you really think this shit is out of context? There's only one hell for the baguette fuckers. "Délète that tweetaux" please shut the fuck up

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

Compiler: hope whoever's praying on my downfall is doing good. Must suck knowing God won't listen to you

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

Things a sports commentator would never say

Ark Royal: and there's the bell! And the schoolgirls I've been spying on go back to their classrooms!