#incorrect a darker shade of magic quotes

[crybabycunt]

Clint: I apologize for anything I might have said. I wasn't myself.

Yelena: I apologize for trying to kill you. I was entirely myself.

Kate: That's growth.

[firapolemos05]

Kell: I must be dreaming. Punch me in the face.

Alucard: ...Punch you?

Kell: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me?

Alucard: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.

[happygirl2oo2]

Rhy *smiling* [at Kell's door]: "Hey, Kell" Kell *smiling, pulling him for hug*: "Rhy!" Alucard *popping up from behind him*: "hey" Rhy: "Alucard's here too!" Kell: *face falling*

[worlds-of-agnes]

Random sea guy at a tavern: And who's that with ya?

Lila, too drunk to think properly: He's my boyfriend

Kell, the only one sober: I'm your husband

Lila: He's my husband.

Lila: ...

Lila, looks shocked at Kell: You're my husband...

Kell sighs and gives up

[theincorrectbookquotes]

Lila: Mistakes were made-

Kell: By you

Lila: -and people got hurt

Kell: By you!

[incorrectadsom]

Alucard: I treat my body like a temple.

Berras: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.

[doomsyra-the-destroyer]

Lila: I am not a coward, I show no fear

Kell: courage is not the absence of fear, it is the mastering of it

Lila: yes, by not being a coward

Kell: but you deny the fear and cover it up with plebeian humor

Lila: irrelevant. My fears could still exist and not being a coward may be my way of mastering it

Kell: you are an idiot

Lila: but I am not a coward

[ily-books]

kell: looks like we can't manipulate mansplain malewife our way out of this one

lila, cackling: manslaughter it is

[victorfrankingstein]

Kell: Don't say a word

Lila: Fergalicious

Kell: I said no words!

Lila: Oh I see, two weeks ago when we were playing scrabble it wasn't a word, now it is. How convenient for you.

[itsjustlikefallingsnow]

Kell: What did you do? Lila: Ok I’ll tell you, but promise you won’t get mad. Kell: Lila, what did you do? Lila: So I was minding my own business- Kell: Bullshit! Lila: I was!

[splashleexd]

Kell: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.

Lila: But I'm a thief, so that doesn't mean anything.

[skyllerdamisch]

Kell:lila why you give a knife to a child?

Lila: because she felt unsafe

Kell:yeah but now I feel unsafe

Lila: I'm sorry

Lila:...

Lila: would you like a knife?

[mudeokis]

Rhy: So, how did you two meet?

Kell: Lila robbed me and then tied me to her bed.

Lila, smiling at the memory: It was love at first-sight.

[coolseniorhighschoolfightsong]

Rhy: Lila, Kell's really upset and won't come out of his room. Any suggestions?

Lila, not looking up from organizing her knives: just tell him i said something dumb

Kell, bursting out of his room: Lila we literally discussed this YESTERDAY THE SUN IS NOT A PLANET

[theincorrectbookquotes]

Kell: When did you learn how to do that?

Lila: While you were busy being heterosexual, I studied the blade

[incorrectadsom]

Alucard, looking longingly at Rhy: He could end my life and I’d thank him.

Kell, not looking up: I’d thank him too, Emery.