#incomprehensible little freak <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mossiestpiglet]

Getting kind of obsessed with Ben, he’s so pathetic and weird

[yourbloodysunrise]

Hi!! I see you do requests, Can you do Ninjago, All the main ninjas [Like Lloyd, kai, nya, Cole, jay,zane] with a reader who's definitely, taller than them? I think it'll be a cute dynamic ^^ Romantic headcanons please and thank u!

🌤 — thanks for request, anon!that sounds cute and that was fun to writing :3

🌤 — I write from shortest to longest in my opinion, enjoy!

❝ How you can be so tall? ❞

— FANDOM: NINJAGO

— PAIRING: MAIN NINJAS X TALL!READER

— ROMANTIC

— HEADCANONS

— READER IS GENDER NEUTRAL

— TW: BAD ENGLISH, BAD GRAMMAR, OOC, IDK WHY SOME HCS SHORTER THAN OTHERS☠

LLOYD:

☆ ┈ The picture is definetly describes his reaction.

☆ ┈ He is unlikely to be surprised, considering that he is the shortest in the ninja group.

☆ ┈ Kai is constantly teasing him about this, and if you join him, he will feel betrayed.

☆ ┈ Lloyd will often use his abilities hoping to impress you.Look, he cool, he deserves you, right?

☆ ┈ He may behave a little childish with you, especially if you try to pick him up.

☆ ┈ No, seriously, he'll start twitching like a cat if you pick him up trying to get out.

☆ ┈ In the first episode of season 12, Lloyd was scared when an ordinary iron hand fell on his shoulder, just imagine that he jumps into your arms every time he gets scared, and this one too..

— "..."

— "...?"

— "Don't ask about it, okay?"

NYA:

☆ ┈ One of the two ninjas who really don't care about the reader's growth.

☆ ┈ Although, if you tease or make fun of her about this, she will start to get annoyed by your height difference.

☆ ┈ Nya usually the one who takes the initiative in your relationship more, like inviting you out, trying to pay for you and all that, and that looking a little fun from outside.

☆ ┈ If someone thinks that you are the head of a relationship, you will have to hold her to prevent her from breaking up the one who said it.

☆ ┈ Nya sincerely wants to be the one you rely on, not the other way around.

☆ ┈ I think in the early seasons it could have worked on her to create Samurai X.She could help you in battle if you can't handle it!

☆ ┈ You two have a energy like:

— "Excuse me, they asked for no pickles!"

— "👉👈"

☆ ┈ Change my mind.

JAY:

☆ ┈ When you first meet, his honest reaction will be: 😳

☆ ┈ Like..Dude, why are you so tall???Do you walk on stilts?Yes, definitely you are.Don't try to talk him out of it, he won't believe you.

☆ ┈ Only during your friendship he would stop paying attention to it, but when you start dating, he will start to fixate on it.

☆ ┈ Jay is, in fact, a tame lover. If you ask him to jump off the roof with you, he will do it without hesitation.

☆ ┈ However, he feel insecure about the fact that you are above him.In his fantasies, he's always supposed to protect, but it seems you're doing just fine without him..

☆ ┈ Sometimes he reminds himself the same way when Nya rejected him in the original series. He is constantly around you, trying to take care of you and makes incomprehensible clumsy hints that he hides as a joke.

☆ ┈ Please kiss the guy and tell him that you love him.He will instantly melt and forget about all his worries.

☆ ┈ His parents adore you!They always invite you to visit them and tell you about Jay as a child.Poor guy is dying of shame somewhere off-screen.

☆ ┈ He will start helping you more often during the fight. No matter how much he appreciates his friendship with the ninja, he cannot afford to leave you for even a second!No no, no way.

☆ ┈ Sometimes it can be dangerous for other ninjas because Jay is overprotective of you.

☆ ┈ Remind him that he has to stop praising you in front of other ninjas, otherwise he won't stop. It can get to the point where he starts talking to inanimate objects about how wonderful and cool you are!

— "Oh, look at how gracefully they fight!I'm so lucky.."

— "Jay, I literally got arrow in my leg."

— "We're not talking about you, Kai."

KAI:

☆ ┈ He's freaking out because his partner is taller than him, considering that he's tall enough himself.

☆ ┈ No, no, wait, HE should be the one above!Then why are you taller than him?!

☆ ┈ Kai thinks that it's not fair, because of this, he looks like a psychotic child whose mother refused to buy a chocolate bar.

☆ ┈ He will complain to Nya that he wants to be taller than you so that you admire him, but all the methods on how to grow up from Internet just don't work!

☆ ┈ Nya secretly tells you this, at first you don't pay attention to it, but then you notice that Kai is trying more and more to make you pay attention to him.

☆ ┈ Push away other ninjas to defeat the enemy himself, clear the way for you if there is a person on the way who could just be bypassed, or even do something dangerous to health to "impress" you..

☆ ┈ You start playing along with him, asking him to do something easy and then thank him as if he saved your life, or ask for help in a fight even with a weak opponent.This will give him confidence and he will be happy to do something for you and not even doubt that you need him.

☆ ┈ After that, he sees your height as a plus.He flaunts you in front of his fans, praising you and saying that you are the coolest in your team. Let his ego want him to be considered the best, we all know you will always be first in his priorities.

☆ ┈ Reminds Jay in way that he is always by your side in battle, however, if Jay is worried that you might get hurt, then Kai sees this as an opportunity to show you that he will protect you!

☆ ┈ Are annoying fans bothering you?Did some villain hold a personal grudge against you?Are you not as successful in training as other ninjas?Don't worry, Kai is always here for you!

— "Kai, I'm glad that you care about me so much, but sometimes you overdo it-"

— "Me?Overdo it?Don't be silly, babe, I'm just helping you at the right moment!"

— "But I could have opened that cookie jar myself!.."

— "Shh..No thanks needed, honey."

ZANE:

☆ ┈ Considering that he is slightly shorter than Cole (in my opinion), then you are the second tallest in the ninja team.

☆ ┈ In fact, Zane and Nya hardly worry about your height, except for a few details.

☆ ┈ He wants to make sure that your height doesn't upset you or cause you problems.For example, he always stops you before you bump your head against a low doorway.

☆ ┈ Only once he could ask you about your height, and only out of pure curiosity.Consider Zane the one who pays the least attention to your height out of the entire ninja group.

☆ ┈ Despite the fact that you are taller than him, he usually forgets about it.He is ready to carry you in his arms like a royal person just because in his opinion you deserve it.

☆ ┈ If someone makes fun of your height, Zane will just freeze them 😼

☆ ┈ Zane is definitely one of the best ninjas who behave with a tall reader.As I think he is generally very good in relationships, always caring and attentive to you, will help if you ask or notice that you cannot cope with the task.

☆ ┈ Often takes it upon himself to pamper you, because the ninjas does not have much time for do that myself.Expect that you will rest after training, and he is already standing next to you with his usual smile and outstretched gift.Don't even try to reject, he will stand his ground.

☆ ┈ Since his attitude will not differ from the reader who is shorter than him, consider that you just have a funny robot boyfriend who adores you.

☆ ┈ I'm sure that in the series you would be a favorite pair of ninja fans.

— "Could you bring me the salt from the top shelf?"

— "Sure thing, Zane."

— "Thank you."

COLE:

☆ ┈ Bro is confused...

☆ ┈ In my headcannons, he is the tallest ninja, so how did you manage to be taller than him?

☆ ┈ At first he is broken, but then he quickly remembers that he has a trump card up his sleeves: his strength.

☆ ┈ No matter how tall you are, Cole will be the strongest in the team anyway, so why did he worry about it?With that mind he calm up.

☆ ┈ In a few quarrels, he will always use it against you, especially if you touch on the topic of growth.Just tell him something and he will suddenly throw you up and grab you in his arms, grinning maliciously.

☆ ┈ You two look like the perfect dynamic: a tall dude and a strong dude.

☆ ┈ Like Kai, he often helps you with things that you could handle on your own.He usually doesn't need a reason for this, he just wants to help you and does it.

☆ ┈ He is your guard dog, manages to help you in battle and at the same time help other ninjas.

☆ ┈ I think he's the kind of guy who can fall in love at first sight, so he could be trying to impress you from the moment you met.

☆ ┈ Don't be offended by this guy when he teases you, he's just playing with you.Tell him to stop and he will stop.

☆ ┈ Cole sure that you are his destiny.He can't explain it, he just feels attracted to you.

☆ ┈ His father often write letters to you to find out how you and Cole are doing.No, not to Cole, to you.Although Lou is proud of his son, he considers you more responsible.

☆ ┈ Make a cake for guy and he will praise you as a deity.

— "How's the weather up there, sweetheart?"

— "Cole, I'm trying to train, can you be quiet for at least 5 minutes?"

..:*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*･ﾟﾞ｡.:*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*･ﾟ🌤

🌤 — funny that I started it a long time ago, but I finished it in one day lol

🌤 — sorry for waiting anon, hope you like it☆

[colealexart]

story time! i met the cr cast this past weekend at mcm london and they were the kindest people imaginable, but my interaction with laura and marisha was just. incomprehensibly sweet and the best thing to ever happen to me.

first up was laura. my friends izzy (@wvearp) and abby (@overnighttosunflowers) went before me in the queue and they got my art signed by her. when they did, she said “oh, best art” and they told her that they were here with the artist. she immediately was like “what?! where?!” and started looking around frantically. i was standing just to the side and i waved awkwardly and she was like “NO WAY! YOU!! i favourite this shit on twitter ALL THE TIME!” which i find hilarious because yeah, i freak out a little every time she does.

when it got to my turn, i said hello and asked her how she was doing. she did not answer my question and instead said “cole, are you kidding me? these are gorgeous” about the two prints i handed to her. (the one pictured and a different one i got signed.) she said she remembers seeing this after the episode aired and i was like “yeah, it airs at 3am here so i drew this in a frantic, sleep deprived stupor at 7am” and she said “you did it so fast, i remember! i sent it to marisha! people are SO QUICK with the fanart, you guys are insane.”

after she signed the print, she held onto it for a moment and just sat and admired it, before looking at me with the BIGGEST smile and saying “you are seriously the best. thank you.” and i don’t know how to handle sincerity so i handed her the dice i got for her. she was so excited about them and immediately rolled the d20 and got a 10 (edit: i misremembered, she got a 3 lol). i then asked if we could play rollies and she beat me. i got a 5 and laura got a 7. i said i’m sorry they’re not rolling well and she was like “it’s fine, they just need charging up!”

i also got a selfie too, but the guy helping her at the table took the photo for us instead of me trying to take it because i suck at taking selfies. she gave me a really tight side hug and when it was done, she thanked me again with the biggest smile.

i also didnt realize until afterwards but instead of writing a character quote, laura wrote “you are everything” on my autograph 😭

next was the group photo op. as we walked up i said hi again to laura and she immediately recognized me from before. she grabbed onto my shoulders and literally spun me around to marisha and was frantically saying “marisha marisha, this is the person that does the amazing imodna art!” but there was a lot going on and marisha was looking at me with the most bewildered expression, until she eventually understood what laura was saying but we had to rush to take the photo. laura held onto my arm and marisha leaned against me and i didn’t realize until afterwards but liam and tal also had their hands on my shoulders lol. it was A Lot. i told marisha i would probably be heading to her autograph queue next so i’d see her there and she was like “awesome, i cant wait!”

so after that, i met marisha. i was probably the most nervous to meet her because she’s just so cool and intimidating but in reality she is just so warm and has such a calming presence about her. she was like “cole, good to see you again!” and i handed her the same imodna print that i had laura sign. she said “ohh, aww this is amazing! this is what laura was talking about, i was so confused!”

then we talked a bit about the live show because her voice was hoarse and i asked her how she was feeling. she said it was just her voice that was gone, but we agreed that it was absolutely worth it because the live show was incredible. i also congratulated her on the how do you wanna do this, then gave her the dice i got for her and we played rollies too. we both got an 18 at first and when we rerolled, she beat me with another 18 to my 16. then she was like “oh these roll really well, i’m definitely gonna use these!”

we took our photo together and afterwards she said “thank you for your art and everything. seriously, you’re so talented” while rubbing my shoulder, and then i headed off to join ashley’s queue.

i’m probably gonna make a separate post about meeting ashley and sam. i just wanted to write this down mostly to immortalize on my blog. i expected them to be kind but i did NOT expect to feel so loved and appreciated. laura was about as excited as i was, and made me feel so special. (this is also a pretty small thing but i dont think i pass very well, so the fact that laura said ‘person’ and didn’t misgender me meant a hell of a lot too.)

i did bring extra prints to give to them as a gift but was overwhelmed and forgot lol

anyway, that’s it! for anyone wondering if the critical role cast are as kind in person as they seem online, they absolutely are and then some. i’ll never forget this past week.

[moistvonlipwig]

angel in s1 ep 1 of btvs was so funny, partly because david boreanaz did not yet grasp the particulars of how to pretend to be another person in front of a camera for money, but also because angel introduces himself to buffy as "a friend" and when she's like 'ok but what if i don't want a friend you freaking weirdo lol' his response is to go 'uhhh well i didn't say i was YOUR friend.' king you don't HAVE any friends what are you saying!!! incomprehensible little guy who does not know how to speak to people <3

[neocrias]

The Ultimate Test

Synopsis: In which you hear that Mark Lee - a cocky classmate from college - is a bad kisser, so he personally offers to prove you wrong.

wc: 3,3k genre: party! au; university! au; slightly suggestive

You didn't used to come to parties like this. Well, at least not on weekdays. Definitely not when you had a Calculus 3 exam in a couple of days to worry about. However, the pleading eyes of your three best friends who couldn't bear to see you go through the whole grueling college experience without going through the whole drinking-and-partying stereotypical uni thing managed to convince you this time.

And you were thankful to have a little black strapless dress tucked away in the back of your closet for specific situations like this. And you were also grateful when your friends offered to pay for your Uber - after all, being an university student also brought with it the unhappiness of lack of money and the small joy of when you get something for free.

You just weren't very grateful when you realized that you barely spoke to those people at the party and your friends had "very important" things to do, which included kissing and boys, and didn't include you staring at them while all of this was going on. Of course, this was expected, and you didn't want to be a party-pooper, so you just started walking around and drinking a few shots of beverages you weren't exactly interested in knowing what were. Again, it was for free.

Your slight shyness wasn't limiting or controlling, but it was certainly a bit inconvenient. More than once a few good-looking guys came up to talk to you, but your clumsiness simply drove them away within a few minutes. Damn.

And now here you were: listening to incredibly loud music in a modern mid-century house that you didn't know who it belonged to - or even if it was a fraternity, or anything like that - with a plastic cup of a drink that you didn't know what it was, eyeliner that you could swear would melt at any moment with the human warmth around you, a little black dress that had already gone out of fashion and an uncontrollable urge to do something outrageous, just so you could distract yourself from the fact that normally at that time you would either be sleeping or freaking out about the imminent calculus exam. "Damn that motherfucking calculus," you thought, "I'm at a party."

On the other side of the large, high-ceiling living room, a group of recognizably annoying boys were playing beer pong while dozens of girls surrounded them. All of them were engineering students, except for their leader, Mark Lee, who was the most disturbing of the seven and was a literature major (which in some way that was incomprehensible to you, attracted a lot of girls) and he obviosuly took advantage of this, which was visible by the girl leaning loosely on his waist at this very moment.

— YES! — Haechan, one of them, shouted over the loud music as he hit the ping-pong ball into a glass of beer. Mark cracked his neck twice before picking up the glass and drinking until the very last drop, defeated.

You stared at him as he shrugged and grimaced before returning the glass to the table and flashing a smile at everyone in the game, preparing for his turn to throw the ball.

It wasn't that he wasn't handsome, or attractive. Yes, he was. And he didn't fall short on either count. You could understand why he was so chasen after by the girls on campus. It's just that you'd had the opportunity to have a few dialogues with Mark Lee, and they were all pretty unpleasant. There was something about his manner, his attitude, that you just couldn't endure. He was irritating. Smug. Sloppy. And you don't have time or patience for that.

He then flexed his arm, his biceps visible thanks to his tank top, and threw the ping-pong ball, but someone blocked your view just in time to watch him hit the cup.

— You won't believe what I've just found out! — Jennie, one of your three cheeky friends, appears smiling and clearly drunk. — Mark Lee is a total soft kisser!

— What? — You almost scream, startled by the sudden mention of the boy you've been shamelessly watching for the past few moments. And even worse: worried about how your friend had acquired this information.

— I'm serious! — She laughed out loud, bending her body forward and knocking some of what looked like a fruit cocktail out of the glass in her hand. You sidestep cautiously, but some of the pink liquid still splashes on your legs. — Lin said they kissed earlier in the evening, and he barely even moved! Can you believe that?

You laugh at the irony of the facts. That was valid information to share. You feel a bit bad for Lin, your classmate, but honestly? You wouldn't trade knowing that for anything. Of course, Mark, the most conceited person who ever lived, would be the type to talk a lot and do nothing. Was there anything more coherent than that? Absolutely not!

Your laughter joins Jennie's, and you both enjoy the gossip for a while. Suddenly, Rihanna's "You Da One" starts playing through the dozens of speakers scattered around the house and you and your friend stare at each other, wide-eyed, as your laughter stops.

— THAT'S OUR SONG! — You shout at the same time. Jennie pulls you by the arm to the most spacious part of the room, where everyone was dancing, and you let yourself go for the first time all night.

The lively melody and beat combine with the rhythm of your heart, and not much later you can hardly feel the world around you. Tests, lack of money, shyness or cocky boys, none of it mattered. The few drinks you've consumed so far finally seem to take effect, and with every song that plays, your body feels looser and your mind feels further away.

Not long after that, a tall, muscular guy starts to whisper something to Jennie, who smiles back shyly. You realize that maybe this is your cue to take a break from the dance floor to grab another drink and finally quench your thirst caused by the sudden exercise.

You see the familiar counter full of disposable cups and bottles of all kinds on the other side of the hall, in what appears to be a dining room combined with a kitchen that is now full of young people and very messy. It's easy to let yourself imagine what that environment would look like if it weren't in its most chaotic state: perhaps a cozy place or a shared-house of intelligent students. But right now, that was just the alcohol talking.

As soon as you reach the counter, you grab a plastic cup and fill it with what looks like clear alcohol - perhaps a vodka, or gin - topped off with a generic soft drink from the other side of the counter. That mix will be enough at the moment to keep you from passing out, but it won't let the dance sober you up again either.

The first sip brings the sweetness of soda and the bitterness of strong alcohol down your throat.

— Vodka. That's for sure. — You conclude to yourself, looking at the cup in your hands.

— I thought you were some kind of female-hermit or something. — A voice pulls you out of your little dialog with the inanimate object in your hands, and you look up to see the person on the other side of the bar, only to roll your eyes deeply.

— That' not even a thing.

But Mark Lee just shrugs, filling his own cup with what looked like a brownish liquor.

— You get the idea. — He smiles and tilts his head, stopping to watch you. His eyes scan along your little black dress and you suddenly feel embarrassed by all the attention you're getting. He just lets out a muffled laugh, probably noticing the way you flinch slightly, and walks away with his drink - not without turning around and giving you a wink, which you answered with a frown.

After the not-so-pleasant appearance of the cocky college student, you remember the funniest piece of information of the evening: "Mark Lee is a total soft kisser!". Of course! He could be as arrogant as he wanted around you or any other girl, but you knew what he really was. You knew his secret. And he may have walked out of there thinking he'd rocked it, or that he'd made you uncomfortable as usual, but it was you who had won your little dispute. After all, you're going to have the last laugh.

…🎉…

A few more drinks away and no word from your friends. The small anger you had felt towards Mark had been transformed into an important mission to tell almost every girl you knew there about the new gossip you had been entrusted with.

You were at a stage in your drinking where your conscience was no longer so affected - so you could tell that your actions were the result of a real desire to unmask the most annoying guy you knew. Of course, the drink made you bold enough to carry out the plan, but the rest was all yours.

— So… Mark Lee, do you know who that is? — You were excitedly telling Lane, a girl from your business class. Lane nodded, curious. — The rumors are that…

She then arched her eyebrows, looking past you. Unfortunately, or not, you didn't exactly notice that.

— He's a very bad kisser! — And then you started laughing for the nth time that night, thinking about how funny that was and hoping for a good reaction from your colleague.

— Oh really? And how do you know that? — A voice echoes from behind you and you feel your spine freeze. Lane stares at you and the person behind you alternately, getting a front row view of your giant screwup.

"Shit", you thought before turning to face the known voice owner.

— Mark. — It's all you can say. You try your best not to show the shame of having been caught in such a…vulnerable moment. The brown-haired guy just stared at you intensely, arms crossed in front of his chest and a deadly look in his eyes. You don't let yourself be intimidated this time, and give him an ironic look in return.

— Funny you should be saying that, hermit.

— Funny that you're a literature student and yet misuse that word.

Okay, that wasn't your best take at the moment. But it was all you could think of as a response. You wait for a laugh from Mark, or anything else that would reveal his smug spirit - or that would show that he had been shaken by your comment about the kiss.

However, he just takes a step forward, still with his arms crossed, coming dangerously close to you and tilting his head and shoulders in your direction, to look you right in the eye as he says:

— Who did you call a "bad kisser" again? — He teases, starting to crack a sly smile. — Why don't you kiss me to prove who's the bad kisser?

You swallow a lump in your throat, not knowing what to say. That's right, it seems that his idiotic manners had appeared in the worst possible way, and now it was up to you to make things right, even though you felt nervous and your stomach twisted with a feeling you didn't understand where it was coming from.

Suddenly, a flash of confidence came over you. And there, staring at your nemesis' frowning eyebrows and the nonchalant way in which he crossed his well-shaped arms, with that stupid grin on his face and a growing challenge in his gaze, you understood what was happening to you. Damn it, you want to kiss Mark.

Of course you don't want to give him a taste of being right, or yet another reason for him to think he's the man. Of course you don't want to hurt your own pride, and you'd hold on to it like your life depended on it.

But you also wanted to be able to test that gossip you'd heard earlier that evening. And you also wanted the taste of knowing that you'd totally destabilized that arrogant man. You wanted to see the look of surprise on his face when you accepted his proposal, or would he be… satisfied? Or bewildered? All the options seemed alluring in your imagination.

And you wanted to. Oh, you really did. You really wanted to kiss Mark Lee.

— Prove me wrong, then. — You boldly held the gaze of the boy who was testing your patience so much these past weeks. Your smile gradually widened as you watched his mouth slowly open in confusion. Oh, he hadn't expected that. Mark's eyebrows drew together and he seemed to search for words. His posture stretched, and the shadow of his body moved away from you.

— Wait, what did you say? — He pointed to his own ear and then to his surroundings, indicating the muffled sound of the party music. His face showed, however, that he had heard very well - he just wanted to make sure he wasn't hallucinating those words.

— Prove. me. wrong.

— What the actual f… — He practically whispered, but you could understand the words just by watching the movement of his lips. Mark's gaze in your direction was puzzled and surprised, but not in a childish way. He stared at you as if he were really trying to understand what on earth could be happening to you at that moment.

So, without letting him think too much about your sudden acceptance, you took the boy's wrist in one hand and began to lead him out of there.

— Let's find somewhere to go. — You said, with an assurance that had never come through your voice before, which Mark seemed to like. Then he took the lead himself, gently leading you through the party with the calm of someone who seemed to have done it many times before - and he probably had. You mentally thanked him, because if you had to continue to pull up your little confident act, your knees might have given out. Or your stomach would explode. Something in between.

Suddenly, Mark stopped in front of a door, already on the second story of the house. You didn't even notice how your feet made it all the way up the stairs, but they did. He opens the door, but not before turning to look at you one last time, trying to make sure that was happening.

He enters the room before you and turns on the light, making you realize that it was a rather narrow bathroom. Your heart beats rapidly before you take the final steps towards that unexpected destination. You enter and close the door behind you. Mark leans lazily against the wall opposite to the sink, facing the bathroom mirror. He takes a deep breath, looks at the floor with a sly smile and says:

— I thought you hated me… — But you don't let him finish, because you quickly stand in front of him and put both hands behind the back of the head of the boy you hated. You see Mark's eyes widen one last time as he is interrupted, before you can bring your lips together in a rushed kiss.

Your nervous fingers run through the end of Mark's hair, which seemed freshly cut and slightly spiky. You smiled into the kiss at the tickling sensation, while he barely had time to react to your approach.

Then, when he finally understands, Mark pulls you close, holding your waist with both hands and spreading his legs to fit you between them. His grip is firm but still, as if he's nervous.

You continue to enjoy the moment, moving according to the rhythm between you, but always wanting more. The air in the bathroom seems increasingly thin, but the chaos of your mind barely lets you notice. You leave Mark's lips to make a trail of kisses between his chin and neck, hearing him sigh above you. You feel the warmth of his skin, and the short traces of freshly shaved beard on his face. It's only when Mark gently pulls his face away and leans his forehead against yours, pausing to take a deep breath, that you realize he's barely had time to think.

— Okay, hasty. — He lets out a weak laugh between sighs. — Now it's my turn.

Without letting you answer - and in a classic revenge move - Mark leans over until you have to walk backwards. His steps are short, but they work until your back hits the sink counter. His exposed arms encircle you, holding you firmly on the worktop as he brings his body closer to yours until you're completely touching.

You let out an exclamation before he presses your lips together again, this time taking the lead.

Mark's lips feel like uncharted territory, as this time he takes control. His kiss is firm, but not at all restrained. Slowly, you feel one of his hands rise from the counter and run down your spine from the base to the nape of your neck, tracing it with his fingers and leaving you extremely sensitive. At the nape of your neck, Mark's hand fiddles with your hair, precisely catching the strands in a ponytail that he pulls back slightly.

His index finger makes a few deft turns through the strand, twisting it until it is completely in his grasp. He squeezes your strands with a force that doesn't hurt, but makes you grunt into the kiss - which he answers with a smile.

Still enraptured by the unexpected movements, you barely notice when Mark's two hands gather around your thighs, pushing them up until you're sitting on the sink counter and he has to tilt his head slightly to avoid breaking the kiss. The ease with which he had lifted you, and without pulling away. Oh my God.

Jennie's words about Mark seem further and further away, as if they had been in another life. They also seem, fortunately or not, untrue.

"Lin said they kissed earlier in the evening, and he barely even moved! Can you believe that? ", you hear your friend's voice in your head. Oh, no… Lin must have been completely out of her mind.

But there's barely time to think about anything outside that small bathroom. Or at least not when Mark is running his tongue lightly over your lower lip before moving on to your neck. The warm breath against your cold skin sends shivers down your spine, and you wriggle under the boy's grip - which still hasn't left your thigh.

With no time to lose, you pull back on Mark's neck to press your lips together again, and he seems to love it. For a few more moments, you exchange hurried kisses and firm squeezes, until Mark's kiss begins to slow down, becoming even more attractive. The movement of your lips, so sure and certain, gradually stops, until he leaves a few lingering kisses and rests with your faces close together.

— I think you've proved me wrong. — You say, in a whisper, then let out a muffled laugh, unable to stop smiling.

— That's a shame… — He begins, tilting his head with a sideways smile. — Because if you weren't convinced, I'd have to keep proving it to you.

You face each other directly, and you can't help but roll your eyes at his comment, and then say:

— Mark Lee, you're an incredibly bad kisser.

— That's exactly what I wanted to hear. — He mumbles and moves closer again. You can still hear him let out one last dry, drawn-out laugh before closing your eyes and surrendering to the darkness.

[calamaroo]

In an art slump and wanna yap, so take this for your travels~~~

Octonauts Culture Headcanons: (mostly Barnacles because he's my favorite) (with a focus on languages):

Be warned, this is long af lol

Barnacles (& his family):

1. I've said it before, but he's Inuit, and was raised to speak Inuktuk (the language is very varied in names, with many dialects, but by my research, that is the broadest term for it)

2. In the Navy, it was mostly drilled out of him, and he practically forgot it for many years until he spent his angst time with Bianca and Tracker and re-learned it. Now, he loves to speak it with them, and sometimes yaps in it with his crew to mess with them (because no one understands it)

3. When the cubs visit, they speak Inuktuk with Barnacles, and often have to be reminded to speak English with the Octonauts (again, because no one understands the language, and they're hyper little children taking 90 mph)

4. Sometimes when Barnacles is talking about/to Bianca, Tracker, or the cubs, he'll use their Inuit names, and anyone else in the conversation has to be like "pause, who was that again?"

5. In the cub scouts, everyone spoke Inuktuk, or Russian, as the cubs all unanimously decided to learn it to surprise Natquik (I imagine it was his birthday or smthn, and they all sprung out and said "Happy Birthday!" In Russian. He cried tears of joy for hours.) --- I headcanon Natquik is half Inuit, and also knows the Russian dialect : Nunik.

6. When Barnacles wants to yap/is homesick but can't get in touch with any other Inuit characters, he gets down in the dumps because no one else will understand him/relate to his culture. So, in an effort to eliminate these sad spells, the crew are trying their best to learn more about Inuit culture and languages.

7. He's good with accents as he's heard hundreds in his travels, and can mimick most of them, including the thickest ones (uses this to bond/mesh with his crew's wide range of accents)

8. Pretty good at Vegimalese, but still sometimes has to ask Shellington what a certain string of chirps and trills meant

Languages/ spoken : AMER English, EURO/UK English, Inuktuk (several dialects), Spanish (for Peso), French, & Scottish Gaelic (he pretty much speaks at least a little of everything from hearing it all over the world)

Kwazii (& Calico Jack):

1. I've toyed around with his background for a long time, but I finally settled (at least for now) that the two pirates are from Barbados. So, they grew up speaking with both pirate slang and Bajun English (Barbados-Cajun English) along with a flurry of other languages because pirates were a giant mixing pot of cultures)

2. Sometimes, Kwazii's Bajun accent will escape, and he has to remind himself to tone it down because it and the many other accents he's accumulated into his speech are so thick that no one can understand him. (Calico Jack is way worse and often goes on and on speaking in utter incomprehensible gibberish)

3. Being a pirate (and because i said so), Kwazii had always been good with pixking up on languages and dialects, so when Peso was still new to the crew and had no one really to talk to (as everyone intimidated him and no one knew Spanish), Kwazii learned it so they could bond (super freaking cute)

4. Calico Jack learned Brazilian Portuguese when stuck in the Amazon, cuz that was the natural language for the animals and such. So he taught it to Kwazii, and they occasionally chit chat in it.

5. When talking to Calico Jack, they speak a hundred different languages, all mingled together at one time (often several la,guages in one scentene), and it gives anyone trying to listen in whiplash. It's a very effective deterrent/security measure when sharing secrets in public.

Languages spoken : AMER English, Spanish, Brazillian Portuguese, Bajun English, Scottish Gaelic, and tidbits of other languages from the pirate mixing pot (he's the most fluent of the crew in Inuktuk, although it's proving to be a challenging language to learn)

Tweak (& Ranger Marsh):

1. Florida people. /j

2. Southern Floridian (very yeehaw, very demure) raised to speak English, but also half Cajun French (on her mom's side) and can speak several dialects of French, but is most comfortable in Cajun French. (Tweak and Kwazii bond over being partly Cajun in language)

Languages spoken : French, AMER English

Dashi (& Ryle):

1. African-Amer-Australian, but hides the thickness of her accent well. When she gets mad, though, she goes crazy with slang (Kwazii thinks it's funny and makes her mad on purpose to hear "her funny words")

2. Shellington is Scottish, and they are besties, so she took it upon herself to learn Scottish Gaelic for him

3. She learned French for Tweak, too, because she's a girl's girl (and a girlboss)

4. Learned Spanish for Peso so they could gossip (pop off besties)

5. Used to be a pilot (which is why she can so easily fly the Octoray) and Japan was her favorite place to travel, so she learned the language.

6. Like Kwazii, she is good at picking up languages (cuz pilot = going everywhere (but isn't as good as Kwazii))

7. When video calling/hanging out with Ryla, her accent gets thicker untentionally

Languages spoken : AUST English, AMER English, EURO/UK English, Scottish Gaelic, French, Spanish, & Japanese (with tidbits of others)

Shellington (& Pearl and Periwinkle):

1. SCOTTISH MAN, SAVE ME SCOTTISH MAN

2. Grew up speaking both EURO/UK English and Scottish Gaelic (very fluent in both)

3. When visiting Pearl and Peri, they all speak Scot. Gaelic. One time, they brought Kwazii along, and out of nowhere, he picked up on the tea-time language and joined in. It freaked the otters out fr

4. Peri forgets to speak English to the Octonauts like the polar bear cubs (they are scout-group friends, change my mind) (I also ship Bianca x Pearl, sooooo they are all kinda step-siblings)

5. The only member to fully understand Vegimalese

Languages spoken : EURO/UK English, AUST English (for Dashi, although his accent isn't very good), Vegimalese, & Scottish Gaelic

Peso (& his family):

1. Hispanic. I will fight you for this. /j (AMERICAN DUB RAAAAH 🦅🦅🦅)

2. He knows a good deal of Bajun for Kwazii and Calico Jack and learned Brazillian Portuguese for CJ, as for the first few years of his Octoagent-cy, it was what he spoke the most

3. A lot like Barnacles in the fact that he knows a ton of languages, but it's mostly just how to ask medical questions and comfort frightened patients

4. Pinto also forgets to speak English with the crew and speaks ONLY Spanish with Peso when they are alone. Peso will try to talk to him in English and Pinto with exclusively respond in Spanish (younger brother activity fr)

5. Learning Gaelic to better listen to Shellington's yap sessions (nerds = best bros) (or bf's, cuz I fw that)

Languages spoken : EURO/UK English, AMER English, Spanish, Brazilian Portuguese, & some Scottish Gaelic.

Inkling (& Min and Natquik):

1. Grew up speaking EURO English, but learned Chinese Mandarin for Min, and sometimes speaks it without realizing.

2. 🗣🗣🗣HE AND NATQUIK ARE GOOD FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY ARE BOTH BARNACLES'S FATHERS. So, he learned Russian to better communicate with Natquik, who forgets to speak English often

3. He learned Gaelic for Shellington because they are scholarly nerd friends, they yap together

Languages spoken : EURO English, Scottish Gaelic, Chinese Mandarin, some Inuktuk (for Barnacles), & Vegimalese

[fa9ette]

More yap-sesh for EAH but please bear with me right now! As a huge EAH fan (I’ve been watching it since I was a kid) it had me in a chokehold as a little girlie, but now that I’m grown up I just realized that this little show for a franchise isn’t just all shits and giggles

Been through it since a kid but now that I’m interested in the lore I see fit to write down my thoughts and break them down to this blog (since first it was Apple’s hair color)

Too long episode yap-sesh;

Now what happened to the O’hair twins? Like from that one episode where Nanny nana (was that her name?) called Poppy (Holly’s sister) and privately announced to her that Poppy’s actually the one who’s 3 seconds older, not Holly— which meant that Poppy is the next Rapunzel, not Holly, AGAIN! In that episode we could see how down Poppy felt and how she had to deal with burden of the decision to keep what their nanny said, since obviously Poppy cared about Holly’s feelings and that could possibly hurt her

Poppy wanted to become just..someone else, while her sister is supposedly the next Rapunzel. But in the end, Poppy ended up telling Holly out of frustration and admission, in a straightforward fashion while Holly had disbelief painted on her face, but somehow they both managed to reason it out and kept the private news to just the both of them ONLY

But with the show having to come to a tragic cancellation, leaving us lore-freaks with floor-scratching cliffhangers. We want our questions answered! T T

I don’t remember, it’s all out of memory but Poppy did enroll to ever after high, wouldn’t that mean she had to sign the story book of legends as well? If it weren’t for the Way too Wonderland storyline happening?, thankfully not anymore but if she did had to sign, well that’s just bad!— considering the O’hair’s secret and Poppy’s struggle to fit in because she’s ‘different and basic’ compared to other students there and the constant pressure from Baba Yaga. the amount of relief I felt is incomprehensible when conflicts were resolved all because of the girls (Raven, Apple, Lizzie, Briar, Kitty n Maddie!!), which means yay! It’s safe for Holly to still become the next Rapunzel.

Overall, I love how Mattel created creative conflicts for each character. It makes me want to break them down one by one LMAO

[nicosraf]

Hi sorry if this is incredibly weird and feel free to ignore me… but what is between Lucifer’s legs? Because I am imagining a kind of plant anatomy akin to Vash the Stampede’s fanon plussy, based on the interlude in ABM where it says something like “petals here.” And simply I think that would be very cool for an Angel to have— specifically Lucifer with all his flower imagery.

Would you be willing to shed some light on the subject?

Not a weird question! And the short answer is that he has whatever you want him to. All the angels have whatever you want.

I get this ask in different variations a lot, basically since I first published abm. I know Lucifer says "cock and cunt" but I never actually describe what he means when he says that, and as per A&M, u can see that angels understand "he" differently, so there's a huge possibility that they understand those words to mean different things than they would on a human.

There's a lot of intentional ambiguity because 1. i think angel gender/sex is fun to leave completely incomprehensible to the reader, 2. i ascribe to angels not having one gender over the other (this being the answer for the dual creation of gender in genesis, rather than the Lilith answer, which I mentioned recently), 3. Milton made them bi-gender with the use of he/him and I like to follow him, and 4. it created room for it to be a broader "queer retelling" rather than just a gay or sapphic or trans one. (And there are many more reasons).

SO! I like considering that the angels might have genitals that are extremely alien. Sometimes I consider them having normal "male" genitals (and that having no attachment of gender to them). Sometimes I give them varying genitals in my head. It's purposefully inconsistent and contradictory to allow room for the reader and me to imagine whatever. (And not in a lazy "leave it up to interpretation" way, but very intentionally and with relevance to the plot. I mean, would the Watchers be so freaked out about gender if they had regular genitals? The story changes a little depending on the answer.)

I've never seen Vash the Stampede but that sounds pretty cool tbh, and you're free to consider it canon to ABM in the way that imagining Lucifer with a penis or a vulva or both or neither is also canon. Also I really like the use of the flower imagery that way. I always thought that if ABM was in a visual media then a lot of genitals would be covered with flowers to provide the same room for interpretation that the book does.

[licncourt]

hi!! do you think lestat and louis primarily speak french or english together? did this change over the years for them?

also, i wonder how armand would relate to languages, since he’s had to move between at least four throughout his life (ukrainian, italian, french, english). i know he’s doing his telepathy thing whenever possible, but when he has to speak what does he use and with whom?

i guess this raises a larger question of how language works for vampires with pReTeRnATuRaL AbiLiTy who can read people’s minds, (sometimes) communicate telepathically, and also learn stuff really fast. it’s been a second since i’ve revisited the books, so maybe i’m forgetting something, but in my memory this wasn’t often explicitly described.

thanks <3

Hello!!! I'm sorry this took so long, I'm catching up!

I think Louis and Lestat started off speaking French, but as New Orleans started becoming more American after the Louisiana Purchase, they probably ended up speaking some kind of French-English hybrid. I'm sure by the modern day it's kind of incomprehensible, especially as Lestat picks up new slang that neither of them knows how to use and Louis refuses to stop talking like the cryptkeeper. And neither of them likely spoke standard Old World French to begin with so their shared French dialect is probably a weird love child of 18th century Auvergnat/Occitan and Creole French.

Armand is a little freak so who knows what he has going on, especially since Anne gave him like three canonical accents before she decided where he was from. I think he (along with other vampires of his age and broad experiences) probably speak a very unique form of weird. Because they live so long, my hypothesis is that by a certain age most vampires develop a "vampire accent" that varies by general region and I imagine Armand has this to a pretty extreme degree. I'm sure he's perfectly able to switch between languages based on who he's speaking to, but I think the accent probably carries over.

This is just a headcanon, but I think he would prefer speaking English since he most likely has very negative associations with Ukrainian, Italian, and French (same reason I hc that he doesn't like any of his names). The people he speaks to most in the books are Louis, Daniel, Sybelle, and Benji so English is an easy default anyway. He probably speaks French with Lestat and Italian with Marius and Bianca though.

In general it seems like vampires would have a pretty easy time with languages, like it's not instant but they only have to hear a word or phrase once to know it permanently. I'm not sure if telepathy has to take place in a specific language, but I always assumed that it kind of transcends human speech, like a vampire rosetta stone. Anyone who receives a telepathic message from a vampire will intuitively understand and, if it's another vampire, respond. IF that makes sense. Kind of like how pop culture Thor has Allspeak?

[sunyandmony]

Hello! I'm on a mission to ask different creators what their DCAs in their AUs would do if MC got dollified (turned into a doll) or just over all shrunk! Of course, you don't have to do this, or acknowledge this at all, I just like to think of different shenanigans with different people's DCA AUs- XD

(Also, hello, Mother! Pretty sure that just gave my identity away, but screw it- Love ya!/p)

HI KIDDO LMAO 😭😭🙏

And it's fine dw, btw I have a lot of AUs so I'll use the ones I still remember ehsjssjs!!!

I'll use Y/N but everyone can go with anything<33

Yap yapp yaapyap ⬇

WARNING. NONE OF THESE ARE TSAMS/TSBS AUS. PLEASE DON'T TAG MY POST AS ANYTHING RELATED TO TSBS!!

Demon VS Vampire AU(collab AU!!!)- Sun would definitely be having a tea party with Y/N just to annoy them XD

Moon on the other hand would absolutely just wrap them in a blanket burrito and use the opportunity to fix Y/N's sleeping schedule a little bit.

Eclipse is just freaking out because they do NOT know what to do 💔

Demon trio AU- They would all fight over Y/N and whoever wins gets their first turn on cuddling with Y/N.

Shapeshifters duo AU- Sun would become small with Y/N and start a ridiculously long adventure for nothing

Moon would smother Y/N in affection, cuz obviously it's by instinct 👏

Eclipse (if it was to be around, cuz it's been gone for a long time), it would absolutely like to toy with Y/N and trick them, making them believe it wants to eat them or hurt them, or anything believable enough it can come up with.

Statues & Angels lost to time (OLDEST AU ever made)- Sunny would definitely snuggle with Y/N cuz he's been touch starved for a LONG time<33

Moon would be hesitant at first to approach you, because he thinks it has something to do with the building's curses and dark aura. But he'll reluctantly agree to hold you.

Eclipse- Oh boy.... he has a lot of things in mind. But for OGs that know this AU or for friends, y'all can guess...

Tehee:)

Perhaps another time, on a sunny day AU(the one AU where it's Y/N deciding to save all the ruin animatronics and live with them, again, another older AU. Happens after the escape from the Pizza Plex)- Sunny would be over Y/N the moment he sees them, and would be sobbing as much as a broken machine can and asking Y/N almost incomprehensible sentences with no sense whatsoever.

Moon would pretty much just have a sleepover during the middle of the day with Y/N in a pillow fort, cuz why not!!

Eclipse would take the utmost care of Y/N, treating Y/N like the most important thing he's had to do. He will also try his best not to scratch them cuz yeah, the body hasn't been fixed yet</3

Seas, and otherwise, fishes for you AU (big fish AU. The one I told pooks ( @st4rryk1tten ) about :3)- Sun would definitely be scared when he comes from underwater, surfacing, only to find you as such a small, fragile doll instead of your human vessel that he got used to seeing. After he'd calm down, he'll swim out of sight of the open beachside and take care of Y/N in a more private place. (Yes that includes smooching the fish)

Moon on the other hand, would be a little confused, especially given the time of day it is. But when he acknowledges it's Y/N, he simply takes Y/N and does just about the same as Sun. (Except he's more eager for kisses and smooches. He's a very affectionate fish<33)

Eclipse (haven't decided what they'll be or if they'll even appear) will be a little more confident and immediately recognize Y/N, taking them before they get seen together, given their humongous size.

Other then these, I just have a lot of random AUs I absolutely forgot about, but I think you got the idea 👏

( pssssttt @galaxytree66 !!!! 🔥🔥🔥🦅🦅🦅🦅)

𝑪𝒂𝒑𝒚𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒂

Also, if you have more things to ask.... Go on ඩා

[en-chi-la-da]

Any head canons of Hinadam and Hinasoda (with all 3 of them together obvi)?

we talkin' a souhinadam (souda>hajime<gundham) situation here? or do you mean like poly with all 3 of them dating each other?? alright fine i'll try to think abt soudam seriously for a hot minute HRMMM

despite my general neutrality towards soudam they do share some similar traits (they both have these "personas" that they present themselves with, both dress funny, both wear eyeliner and have daddy issues lol they're both cringe) so you would think i would be more open to shipping just the two of them 😔 too bad they freaking hate each other too much SIGHHH

speaking of dressing funny, i love the visual of seeing a sharp-toothed mechanic who dresses bright and loud, a breeder goth dude who dresses dark and will wear a scarf in 90-degree weather, and then a regular guy in a tie and button up shirt :) like what are THOSE guys up to lmao

whether they're standing, sitting, lying down, it's preferred that hajime remains in between the two of them. it's a bit more civil that way making gundham and kazuichi interact NICELY is like trying to make the same poles of a magnet touch, there's that repel between them. BUT it's similar to having kaz hang out with sonia + gundham. they CAN come together but you still have to force it lol

whenever gundham goes OFF on one of his incomprehensible spiels, hajime is used to it and understands a majority of what he's trying to say but kazuichi's brain still melts a little bit each time he attempts to decipher gundham's ramblings. he doesn't bother half of the time, he'd rather just have haji decipher it for him

handsy clingy bf vs bf who rarely likes to be touched... nippy puppy dog + moody stray cat energy.. cuddly koala bear + skittish horse energy... quite the spectrum of affection for our boy hajime it seems..... is this anything lmao

✨ bi + pan + ace solidarity ✨ (can you guess who is who)

aaand this got longer than i meant it to be. now here's a shitty doodle

[crazylittlejester]

Daily brainrot and today I've got a load of headcanons I've been mulling over because they won't leave me alone.

I know we've all done a college AU at some point in our lives, but I was up at like 3 am last night debating over which academia aesthetic each Link embodies because I may have spent way too much time on the aesthetics wiki recently. Did I procrastinate for an hour to work on this? Yes. I have no regrets. YOLO and all that.

Sky -- Definitely has light academia vibes. The man does not own a single dark piece of clothing, and everything in his closet is very soft and cozy. He double majored in aviation and environmental science, but he's debating transferring over to the biology department to pursue grad studies in ornithology.

Time -- He is not in charge of his own wardrobe, okay? Malon picks out his outfits. They match. It's always something tasteful and neutral with a little bit of color, but nothing that marks him as belonging to academia. He's part of the philosophy department and a strict teacher, but the students all love him because he genuinely wants them to do well and lets them know. Most of his work is writing for philosophy journals when he isn't teaching.

Legend -- Has more of a general/miscellaneous aesthetic that leans hard into gender non-conformity. He takes his work with him everywhere and whenever someone asks about it, it goes completely over their heads because they have no idea what he's talking about. There's an ongoing bet about whether his dissertation is about linguistics, sociology, or both.

Hyrule -- I don't think there's a word for his aesthetic, he just gives off "outdoors creature" vibes so hard. He's a cryptid and rarely in the classroom because he's always out doing field work. The most human contact he has is outreach programs with the environmental science and biology departments. No one knows exactly what his grad work is supposed to be because it's incomprehensible combinations of wildlife photos half the time and the other half the time he's off the grid.

Twilight -- This is what happens when cowboys and gothic academia have a kid. It's really freaking weird, but somehow he makes it work, so nobody questions it. He technically works for the agricultural department doing research and outreach programs, but he also haunts the English department and occasionally teaches 100 level literature classes online. The freshmen like him because he rounds grades up.

Four -- An unholy combination of academia and his unique color coding system. You don't know what you're getting until he shows up. He generally wears neutral stuff, but his socks and ties are color coded, much to everyone's chagrin. He's got multiple projects going at any given time and helps out the other departments when they get stuck on details. He's really cagey about his dissertation, but he practically lives in the science & engineering building, so he can't exactly deny that he's doing something in STEM.

Wind -- He tried being fashionable, but as soon as he decided to major in oceanography he was swept away by ocean academia. The amount of blue clothing he has is frankly horrifying, and Warriors is trying to get him to branch out into less garish shades of gray and stop wearing almost exclusively rubber boots as footwear. It's a work in progress.

Warriors -- I think he'd fall under general or queer academia because he'd be fashionable in a mostly-normal-but-also-queer sort of way. Stylish, and fruity. Definitely prefers autumn/winter because that's peak scarf season. He's the kind of guy who manages to casually slip representation into any curriculum you hand him and makes it look natural. He got an assistantship with the history department because the professors love him.

Wild -- 100% chaotic academia and doesn't even have to try. Everything is a mess, but it's his mess, he knows exactly where everything is, and to be honest it's not a safety hazard, so it's fine. Besides, he dresses appropriately for department events, and he's the only grad student that Flora hasn't scared off. No one actually knows which department he belongs to, but he knows something about everything.

IM SO FUCKING OBSESSED WITH THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA

THESE ARE SO PERFECT AND YOU’RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THEM ALL I LOVE THESE SO MUCH IM SHAKIN EM AROUND LIKE A JAR OF MARBLES

[whumpy-wyrms]

The Last Lab Rat #3: Surreal

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content: lab whump, medical whump, captivity, accidentally getting outed as trans (dw nothing bad happens), gender dysphoria, nonsexual nudity, needles, top surgery, noncon drugging, manipulation mention, trans whumpee, intimate/creepy whumper, whumper as caretaker

when the whumper can excuse unethical experimentation but draws the line at gender dysphoria. there’s gonna be actual whump in the next chapter i swear, just had to get this stuff out of the way first :>

—

Dew waited until he heard Anton leave the room before he got in the shower. He was happy to have his binder off, but it was still terrifying not knowing what the future will be like for him here.

The bathroom door had no lock, which kinda sucked. He tossed the mud soaked hospital gown on the floor and hid his binder in the cabinet under the sink.

Anton seemed so upset at his poor attempt at an escape. Dew had never been so afraid of the mad scientist, well, it’s not like he knew him for that long anyway. How long had he been here? Two days? He’d get out of this soon, he was sure of it.

But he couldn’t stop that voice in his head telling him he’d ruined his only chances of escape. Anton had mentioned a punishment earlier, was he planning on hurting Dew every time he went against him?

Dew couldn’t stop his mind swarming with the terrible things he saw earlier, trying to block it out by the sound of the water raining down on him. After he washed all the mud off of him, he sat down and curled up in the corner, legs to his chest, feeling the water pour over his head. He didn’t want to think about this, didn’t want to think about being a mad scientist’s lab rat.

It was hard though, when that’s all he really could think about. What was this freak going to do? He hadn’t even started experimenting on Dew yet but he was already terrified. The suspense of not knowing was killing him. Dew tried to ignore it, tried to remind himself he wasn’t going to die here and he just had to wait for his next moment to escape. But how long would it take for that moment to come? How many experiments would Dew have to endure before he’d get another chance?

Dew’s internal monologue was interrupted when he heard the bathroom door open. Dew’s body went rigid, he felt like a deer in the headlights, staring at the shower curtain in the direction of the door, hoping Anton wouldn’t come near him.

“Don’t mind me, Dew,” Anton said nonchalantly. “I’m just replacing your clothes, I’ll leave in a sec—” There was a noise, as if a cabinet door was opening, and a confused hum. Shit.

“A-Anton?” Dew squeaked.

“Yeah, uh,” Anton stood, holding Dew’s binder. “I didn’t know… you’re trans?” Dew’s heart skipped a beat, his stomach dropping and feeling like his entire world was over. “Uh, I’ll go get you some other clothes… be right back.” The door shut, and Dew was left alone once again.

The suspense itself was killing him, if not the fact this captor literally knew Dew’s other only weakness. What would happen to him now? Dew tried to let the pressure of the water raining down on his head drown out his thoughts, but it seemed he just couldn’t stop worrying anymore.

Dew’s spiral was interrupted once again when he heard the door open, and more shuffling on the other side of the curtain. He didn’t dare say anything unless he wanted it to come out as incomprehensible sobs.

“I put some different clothes on the counter,” Anton said. Dew couldn’t decipher his tone, it sounded normal, if not a little awkward, but he never had any idea what the man was thinking. If he didn’t know any better, it sounded like his captor was a bit remorseful. “I’ll uh, talk to you when you’re done?”

Anton once again left Dew alone with his thoughts. He didn’t know what he preferred more, honestly. Being alone, his mind thinking of all the terrible things that could happen to him, or being around his captor, where those thoughts could easily become reality.

The only thing Dew could really do was be done now. The water was starting to get cold, and he didn’t want to anger the scientist any more by taking too long. He peeked his head out the curtain to see a baggy sweater and sweatpants. Different from his other clothes, but much better than what he was wearing before. He put them on, and stared at the door.

Dew was tired. He wasn’t going to wait anymore; he had to face what he did, who he was. He had to get it over with, whatever it was that Anton was going to do to him. It’d be over eventually, and Dew could curl up under the bed again.

When he opened the door to see Anton staring at him, sitting cross legged on the edge of the bed, Dew crumbled. Pretending to be strong was so hard when all he felt was fear.

“J-just let me go, please!” Dew cried, falling to his knees. He couldn’t do this anymore. He wanted to go home. He’d do anything at this point. “It’s— you don’t want me. I-I have too many problems you’d have to deal with, it would be too much of a hassle! J-just let me go and t-take someone else to use as your test subject, p-please.” He knew it was selfish, but he didn’t care at this point. He didn’t want to be a lab rat.

“Dew… I’m not mad,” Anton said. Dew still couldn’t read his tone, nor his facial expression. What was he gonna do to him? “And obviously I’m not letting you go either, you learned that earlier. And frankly I’m getting tired of repeating myself.”

Dew let out a small sob, but otherwise stayed silent, eyes drifting away. He felt Anton’s stare, his eyes felt like lasers burning into him, the events of earlier hitting him like a truck. He tried to escape, and he was so close.

“I don’t know what terrible thing you thought I would do if I knew you were trans, but I’m not like that. I’m not a monster.” Pretty ironic coming from the guy who kidnapped someone with the intent of turning him into his lab rat. “If you need like, hormones or something, I’ll give you that. You’re my test subject but you’re still human. I want you to stay happy and comfortable for the most part, you know? This factor would just interfere with the experiments.” When Dew still didn’t answer, Anton sighed. Which made Dew flinch, which made Anton feel even more… guilty?

“…If it makes you feel any better, I’m trans too.” Anton had never come out to another person before, besides his mentor.

“Really?” Dew’s head snapped up, surprised. He had certainly never expected that to be his reaction.

“Yeah,” Anton sighed. “And it’s not healthy for you to wear that binder for that long, you should know that.”

“…Yeah I know.”

“Okay,” Anton rolled his eyes. “So why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why didn’t you ask for help?”

“Because you’re a fucking weirdo scientist who kidnapped me.”

“Seriously—”

“I want my binder back- please.”

“No can do, Dew. Sorry, I had to get rid of all your old clothes.”

“What? Why?”

“Relax, I can get you a new one if you really need it, though, you know, top surgery would be more optimal.” Dew could not believe what he was hearing.

“Wait, you could get me top surgery?”

“Yeah, I performed it on myself years ago. It’s no big deal really, I have lots of serums that make healing go faster, and makes everything less painful too. I know what it’s like to be dysphoric—”

“I want it.”

“You sure?”

“Yes! Yes I want it.”

“…I guess I’m not in a huge rush to start the experiments just yet…” Dew stared in disbelief. Was this real? Was this a trick? “But Dew, there’s something else I need to talk to you about.” Oh. Just as fast as Dew’s weird excitement came, it was gone and replaced with dread.

“W-What?”

“You tried to escape earlier.” Shit. “I was going to punish you for it, but I changed my mind.”

“O-oh…” Dew gulped.

“That was your freebie, any other escape attempt, or attempt to hurt me, or attempt to communicate to anyone outside, you’ll regret it. Is that clear?”

“Y-yes,” Dew shuddered under his gaze. No way in hell was he giving up just like that, but he’d keep his thoughts of escape to himself now. He just had to wait until the right moment came.

. . .

Anton “scheduled” the surgery for tomorrow, whatever that meant. It’s not like he had a real job or other responsibilities. Dew wondered how this guy could even afford a place like this, with all this expensive equipment and science stuff. Were his experiments being funded by an outside source? Oh god, that was a terrifying thought, the government being behind all this. Dew would have to ask about that later.

Everything felt so surreal. It always had, but now it was different. He didn’t know what he expected from his captor anymore, not after today.

Anton had told him he wouldn’t “punish” him for trying to escape earlier, pretending to understand what he was going through and that he’d “been there.” But he also warned, in his usual cryptically threatening ways, that if Dew makes any more escape attempts, there will be consequences. And that he didn’t want to know what Anton would do to him.

He also remembered earlier, when Anton was showing Dew all of those terrible experiments and lab equipment, and hinting at all of the terrible things he would do to Dew once he starts experimenting on him. He remembered what he was really here for, and that terrified him. No matter how “kind” Anton sometimes seemed, for some reason, he was still a stranger who wanted to hurt Dew. He was still the guy who took him from his friends and home.

And now he wanted to give Dew something he’s always wanted, his whole life, that he never expected to get, at least anytime soon. He worked a dead-end minimum wage job; he couldn’t possibly afford anything like this, and now it was being handed over to him like it was no big deal— from his abductor, no less. It didn’t make any sense. Anton took Dew’s life away, but he still wanted to keep him happy and comfortable in his body? His body that was surly to be changed by these experiments anyway? What was the point of all this?

Maybe it was because Anton’s trans too, and it would be easier for him if Dew was comfortable in his body. It’d be easier for him if he gave something Dew had always wanted, so he’d have some leverage over him— some reason for Dew to be in his debt. Dew knew that his captor wanted him to trust him, to be compliant in being experimented on, for some demented reason. But Dew wasn’t going to let that happen. He wasn’t ever going to give up his freedom for this guy, hell, he didn’t even know what the scientist’s goal was for him.

But now Anton had suggested that Dew get top surgery, and who was he to decline an offer like that? Dew knew it was probably a way to manipulate him, but he didn’t care. He’d always wanted this, and now, even if it was a sick and twisted way, he was happy he was getting it. He was still planning on not sticking around this place, escaping the next chance he got. But he also wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity. Maybe if he kept learning more things about Anton, or vice versa, he’d keep going easy on him.

After all, he needed Anton to trust him, if he was ever going to get a chance to escape.

Dew didn’t know what time it was now, but it had to be pretty late. Anton told him he’d leave him alone for the rest of the day, that he should rest from the events from earlier. He tried that, but his mind was too active. He obviously couldn’t rest knowing what was going to happen to him tomorrow, so he was once again alone with his thoughts for a few hours until he heard the familiar footsteps coming towards the room.

Anton unlocked the door and walked in, holding a sandwich and some water. Dew hesitantly looked up from his spot on the bed, still terrified of the man.

“Here,” Anton said, holding the food out for Dew to take it, who chose to glare at the scientist instead. “Seriously? If I wanted you drugged, I’d just stick a needle in your arm. Just eat it.” He emphasized that by ripping a part off the sandwich and eating it himself, showing Dew that it was safe. He wondered how much longer Dew would be stubborn about not trusting his food.

As Dew ate, Anton kept staring. He did that a lot, Dew noticed. Dew tried to stare back, but the eye contact was way too uncomfortable sometimes.

“You really don’t talk much, do you?” Anton asked.

“I dunno.”

“When was your last T shot?” Shit. Dew wanted to avoid this today, but he supposed it was inevitable. He knew he needed to stay on schedule, but he really didn’t want this guy around him with needles, even for good reasons.

“…A week ago.” There was no point in lying about it though.

“Oh, so you need one today, then?” Anton asked. Dew nodded. “Alright.” The scientist left the room, locking the door behind him, and arrived shortly after with the stuff.

Dew, excited for something familiar in his routine since all this happened, was also terrified because that scientist was holding a needle again. The only other person he’d let give him his T shot was his doctor the first day, and then only he could. It was still hard for him, having to inject himself with a needle, but it was better than anyone else doing it.

Dew reached out to take the syringe, “I can do it,” he said.

“Dew, you’re shaking. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“W-well I don’t want you to do it!”

“Why not?” Was it really not obvious?

“I- It’s my T shot, I’ve done it like a million times before! I’ve been doing this for over three years now— just let me do it.”

Anton knew how scared his test subject was of needles, for reasons he didn’t understand. He supposed it would be easier to let Dew do it, considering he’d done it all those times before. But he still didn’t want Dew to get away with everything he wanted. His test subject would have to learn to do as Anton says.

“I’ll do it. You need to learn not to resist me. I won’t always go easy on you like today, you know.”

“Fine,” Dew said through gritted teeth. “Just get it over with.”

“We also need to work on your little fear of needles you have.” Anton said, prepping the needle and bringing it closer as Dew flinched. “It certainly makes things much harder than it needs to be.”

“I get it.” Dew sucked in a shaking breath as Anton rolled up his pants to expose his thigh. He was shaking in fear, he realized, Anton was right about that.

“Why are you so scared of needles anyway?” Anton asked as he plunged the needle into Dew’s leg.

“I- I dunno.” Dew squeezed his eyes shut, wishing this would go faster. Anton’s grip tightened on him as he leaned away, trying to stop the tears from flowing.

“Weird.” When Anton was done, he stood and started to leave. Dew let out a sigh of relief, finally alone.

“Asshole,” Dew whispered under his breath, thinking Anton couldn’t hear. That wasn’t the case, as the scientist suddenly whirled around and took Dew’s wrist in a grip, turning his test subject to face him.

“I let your escape attempt earlier slide because you’ve only been here only two days, and I… felt a bit of remorse. Gender dysphoria’s a bitch, so I’m trying to get rid of that obstacle for us. But know, I can do anything to you. You’re still just my test subject, know your place. If you try to escape, you will wish you didn’t.”

“J-Jeez okay, s-sorry!” Dew stuttered. Anton released his grip and exited the room.

“Get some rest, big day tomorrow.” The scientist said, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

. . .

Dew could hardly sleep that night, his mind racing with thoughts of the surgery. It was really happening, wasn’t it? A part of him knew he shouldn’t trust his captor, especially with something like this. What if he was lying? What if it was a trick to get Dew to agree to some terrible experimentation? Dew had to admit, it didn’t matter if he thought Anton was lying or not, because he was still going to accept that offer. There was a small chance that Anton was telling the truth, that he’d give Dew something he’d wanted all his life, and Dew wasn’t going to decline.

Besides, if Anton was that desperate to experiment on Dew, he could easily force his test subject to do anything without being able to stop him.

Dew realized it had to be Monday by now, and that his friends and coworkers were sure to notice he was gone. That gave him some hope, that maybe he’d be rescued soon. He just had to keep waiting it out, as he kept telling himself. He’d see Hayden, Layla and Sawyer again soon, and maybe tell them what he’d been waiting to for so long. He didn’t realize how much he missed them.

Dew didn’t get a lick of sleep that night. He was used to nights like that, he’d always been a sort of insomniac. He hoped Anton wouldn’t notice, but that was unlikely. It was morning before he knew it, and the clicks of the locks took Dew out of his racing mind.

Dew didn’t wait under the bed after Anton entered the room this time. He timidly crawled out before Anton said anything, too full of energy to stay still any longer.

“Big day, Dew.” Anton said with a big, unsettling grin on his face. “You excited?” Dew gulped. What was he thinking, trusting this maniac like this against his better judgment?

“Y-yeah,” Dew said. “I guess.” Anton’s eyes narrowed, looking his test subject up and down.

“Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Um, n-not really?”

“Huh. I’ll deal with that later. C’mon, let’s go then.”

“W-wait, I wanted to ask something, i-if that’s okay.” Dew fidgeted nervously with the hem of his sweater, and when Anton made a ‘go on’ gesture, he continued. He made sure to choose his words slowly and carefully. “I know I… I remember what you said yesterday. But um- I uh, I’m wandering if I can make a phone call? To- to tell my friends I’m okay… I d-don’t want them to worry about me. I miss them.”

That was at least half of the truth. Anton looked in a much better mood than yesterday, so maybe he’d recognize Dew’s sorrow and let him say goodbye to his friends, hopefully not realizing that Dew’s real plan was to somehow tell them he was in trouble and get someone to track the phone call.

“Dew,” it turned out that Anton had seen right through Dew’s half-assed plan, suddenly looking serious with his cold gaze locked onto his test subject. “Forget about them. Your home is here now, you’re not leaving. If I have to repeat this one more time, you’ll regret it. Understand?” Dew looked away, shuffling on his feet and trying to think of anything to say to convince his captor to go easy on him.

The silence seemed to anger Anton more, grabbing Dew’s chin in his hands, tilting his head up to look at him. It was intense, every time Dew made eye contact with the scientist, it was intense. Something about him, something about his eyes- it didn’t feel human. Dew didn’t know how to describe this feeling, but it terrified him. He felt like prey cornered by a predator, as if it was playing with its food. He remembered Anton asked him a question, and quickly nodded his head before he could scare him further.

“Say it. Say it and mean it.” When Dew hesitated, Anton moved his hand to rest on his test subject’s throat, squeezing lightly. It didn’t hurt, but the threat was known.

“I-I won’t leave,” Dew forced out, his mind screaming at him not to let himself believe it. “I won’t try to escape or- or contact anyone for help. Or ask to contact my f-friends, or anything like that.” When Anton still looked at him expectantly, Dew knew what he had to say next, though he was never going to mean it. “I-I’m your test subject now. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Good,” Anton released his grip and turned away towards the door, seemingly going back to normal as if none of that terrifying encounter had just happened. “Let’s go already.”

Dew followed Anton out the door, after he took the chain off his ankle and tied rope around his wrists and ankles this time, so he wouldn’t run. Dew was too sleep deprived and strangely excited to care about that terrifying lack of mobility out there, causing him no way to escape.

Dew once again reminded himself this was probably a manipulation tactic, and the odds were more than likely Anton was just going to preform some fucked up experiment on him instead. He remained cautious, glancing to the exit, reminding himself of yesterday. Reminding himself the same plan wouldn’t work, he’d have to think of something different another day, when he got a different chance.

They arrived at that operating table, and Anton stood to the side, gesturing Dew to lay down, to which he timidly did.

“So, um, h-how are you gonna do this?” Dew asked nervously as Anton walked around the table, picking up a few restraints. “It- it won’t be painful or anything, right?”

“You won’t feel a thing,” Anton said, smiling as he started restraining Dew to the table. He strapped his arms and legs down, making it impossible for his test subject to move. Once Dew realized what was happening, his struggles came too late, the terror of his situation finally catching up to him.

“W-What’s with the restraints?” Dew asked, voice shaking. He almost didn’t want to know the answer.

“It helps me relax,” Anton said nonchalantly, moving out of Dew’s line of sight.

“Okay, that makes absolutely zero sense, but whatever.” Dew tried to calm his nerves, but it felt impossible when all he could think about was this all being a trick to get him to agree to being directed like some alien’s research specimen.

“Calm down, I won’t hurt you, you know.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Dew continued struggling against his better judgment, hating being restrained like this. “Th-This isn’t a trick, right?”

“Dew, if I wanted to experiment on you, I’d just do it. It wouldn’t matter if you agree to it or not, because you’re mine. But no, this isn’t a trick. I’m not like that. You want top surgery, right?”

“Yeah!—”

“Great, then stay still.” Anton brought another dreaded syringe in Dew’s line of sight, and he held his breath in anticipation. Of course he knew this was coming, and he honestly sighed with relief knowing he’d be knocked out soon. He realized Anton could easily just operate on Dew while he was fully awake and conscious, feeling every cut, incision, and pain that came with it.

Dew closed his eyes as he felt the injection, and slowly started drifting away. The last thing he heard before succumbing to the anesthetic was a soft, “Goodnight, Dewey,” and then he was out.

. . .

Dew woke up a few seconds (hours) later, back in the room he’d been stuck in, lying snugly in bed and covered in the softest of blankets. His mind was groggy, and he could barely sense someone standing over him. There was pain, but it was dull, hardly noticeable. He honestly felt comfy there, relaxed and warm and without that blinding fluorescent light that would always shine in his eyes.

Right.

Dew slowly opened his eyes and tried to move into a sitting position, but found his body far too weak, and also felt a strange weight off his chest. That made sense. He felt a firm hand moving to hold him down to the bed, telling him he needed to rest. That was probably a good idea.

When Dew’s mind cleared enough to remember what was going on, he almost couldn’t believe it. His chest was flat, they were gone. He had just gotten something he’d always wanted.

Then why was he filled with so much dread?

Dew should be happy. He should be relieved. No more gender dysphoria. No more hiding in oversized hoodies or being forced to wear a binder all day. He was finally in a body that felt like his, he wasn’t trapped anymore. But yet he was, in a completely different way.

He should be with his friends right now, laughing and smiling and celebrating. Hayden would be holding his hand with his pet ball python on his shoulder, cheering him up and lightening the mood as he always would. Layla would be lovingly info-dumping about a special interest of hers, as usual, but in a way that made him feel loved as well, with her cat purring in his lap. Sawyer… He’d definitely be there too, cracking jokes and playing video games in the corner, too awkward for his own good, but that’s what Dew loved about him.

But that wasn’t what was happening. Dew was all alone and afraid in a scary place with the man who kidnapped him. He wasn’t with his friends, he wasn’t celebrating or eating cake or hugging his friends or listening to music. He was alone.

His friends must’ve been worried sick. Dew wondered if anyone was looking for him. He didn’t know what to feel, he’d always wanted this but… not like this. None of it was right, he didn’t belong here and he had to leave. He had to tell everyone the good news, he had to tell them that he—

Anton was in the room, and Dew almost felt like he could hear his spiral. He forced himself to calm down and stop thinking about home, it was too painful right now. He needed something real, something tangible to latch onto, otherwise he’d deteriorate.

“I’m th-thirsty,” Dew rasped. That was a good start. Focus on anything else.

Anton handed him a glass of water that must’ve been on the nightstand, and Dew gulped it down eagerly, ignoring the sudden sleepiness he felt, and the way his eyelids felt far too heavy to keep open all of a sudden.

. . .

The next week was spent with Dew resting in bed, relying on his captor for everything, and it felt humiliating. He absolutely hated it.

The scientist told him that the healing process would go much faster than usual, because of what could only be described as some sort of healing potion he had concocted. Dew didn’t care for science, and he certainly had no interest in listening to Anton explain it, much less trying to understand what he was explaining.

But he was right, the recovery was quick. Though, Dew was filled with drugs and painkillers and even sedatives, after he resisted succumbing to the sleepy effects of the healing concoction and falling asleep.

What was worse, was that when Dew was awake, he could hardly move anyway. The first few days of recovery was spent relying on Anton for everything. Being hand fed food, water, having to be carried to the bathroom, he hated being so dependent on the guy holding him captive.

It was a few days after the surgery, when Anton came into Dew’s room to feed him. Dew hated to admit it, but he was starting to get lonely by himself, and started to look forward to when Anton would come to see him. It wasn’t like he had anyone to talk to or anything to do besides stare at the ceiling and count the seconds.

“You hungry?” Anton asked, a bowl of chicken noodle soup in hand.

“Yeah,” Dew said, getting used to this new routine. He was excited for when he’d finally be recovered enough to do, well, anything for himself again. And sleep under the bed, away from the open space, bright lights, and the scientist.

Anton sat at the edge of the bed and helped Dew sit up, taking a spoonful of the soup and raising it to Dew’s mouth. He hated this, it was excruciatingly hard not to curse his captor out whenever he fed him like this, but he realized it only helped gain Anton’s trust. Which of course, he needed.

Dew sighed and moved his mouth to the spoon, eating the contents of it. He felt like a doll Anton was playing with, or some animal he was training to be nice and docile, not the wild animal yearning for freedom that it was.

Dew learned to just let Anton do what he wanted, and it was easier to just get it over with than let it ride out forever. Arguing with the scientist never worked, so what was the point? When Dew was done eating, instead of Anton getting up to leave, he began to speak.

“It’s been a few days, you probably need a bath, huh?” Hell the fuck no.

And then Dew was being carried to the bathroom, helped out of his clothes, and gently set in the bathtub. He hated absolutely everything about this. The scientist seemed to not notice- or care- about Dew flinching as he raised his hands to Dew’s head.

“Relax, Dew,” Anton said gently, carding his hands slowly through Dew’s fluffy hair as he washed it thoroughly. Dew hated that he let himself lean into the touch (he blamed that on the drugs), the only nice touch he had gotten since he’d been thrown into this place.

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world. He was almost fully submerged under the water, his body not visible under the bubbles. Dew closed his eyes, imagining himself anywhere else, with anyone else doing this to him. He felt a warm rag slowly wiping away the grime on his face, wincing as he let it happen. He couldn’t help but find it relaxing when Anton poured warm water over his head, rinsing away the shampoo from his hair.

And then it was time for Anton to check how his body was healing, which was fine with Dew because he didn’t really feel any gender dysphoria anymore. After the bath, Anton helped Dew stand and gently wrapped a towel around his body, and used another towel to dry his hair off.

It all felt so surreal, once again. Why was his captor being so nice to him? Why did he care so much about how Dew felt about any of this, about his mental well being? Was he trying to manipulate Dew into wanting to stay here? Because it was… Not working.

Sure, it was nice. And Dew didn’t remember the last time he’d been treated like this, without having to worry about responsibilities like work or chores. But he was still being held against his will. And he could not let himself forget about his status here, as a test subject. As the week went on, and that healing stuff did its magic, Dew was only filled with more dread for the future. He could tell that Anton was getting antsy too, excited to finally be able to start experimenting on his little lab rat.

Besides eating, using the toilet, and the few baths he was given, Dew spent most of his recovery from the surgery unconscious. He argued against it, but Anton told him it meant the healing potion— what Dew chose to call it— was doing its job.

Dew guessed it could be worse. He was kinda happy he was unconscious for most of his recovery, in a strange way. Dew hated being in pain, and sleeping it away basically meant it was never there to begin with. He didn’t like the fact that he was losing count of the days though, and was more than frustrated that Anton refused to give Dew a calendar.

It was about a week and a half since the surgery, and Dew was already fully back to normal. He reminded himself that he was supposed to be scared of Anton, and started sleeping under his bed again to avoid the guy. Whatever terrible experiments the scientist was planning would surely start soon, and Dew was more than terrified. He just hoped they wouldn’t be too painful, and that he’d get out of here soon. Maybe this whole experience would just end up being free top surgery and a small vacation from work, and then he’d get rescued and could forget any of this ever happened. That would be nice.

One more thing lingered in the test subject’s mind. He didn’t understand why Anton was so adamant on taking his clothes and belongings away from him. It wasn’t like he was too picky about what Dew wore now anyway, just a few different sweaters and sweatpants when he wasn’t bedridden in recovery. But there had to be a reason, right?

Dew hummed some of his favorite songs to himself, missing his music. Despite everything, he hated being alone. He couldn’t stop thinking about his friends now, wishing he had spent more time with them the week before he was taken. He just wanted to go home.

—

this chapter was not very whumpy but like, necessary for the story and stuff. now that the boring stuff is out of the way, the test subject can actually start being experimented on soon :) fun stuff.

taglist: @whumpinthepot @shywhumpauthor @whump-me-all-night-long @whump321 @fuckcapitalismasshole @sorry-i-spaced @theelvishcowgirl

let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

[cybertron-after-dark]

what is wayward sparks :0?

YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD >:3

This is gonna end up being a long ass post about my very goofy iterations of my blorbos and the unbelievably fucked up version of Cybertron they inhabit, so to spare those of y'all that mostly follow me for the canon tf content, I'll just put all this under the cut

To summarize, wayward sparks is the non-existent tf cartoon I've been Envisioning for a few months that starts off goofy and low-stakes but gets progressively more and more fucked up as it goes. The absolutely BRAINLESS lookin bumblebee I keep posting is supposed to be from this AU, as well as the borderline catgirl skywarp, the really grumpy Optimus, and most of the other tfa-esque redesigns I draw.

The Story

Cybertron's been at war for millennia, everyone's sick and tired of it, especially the Decepticons. They're backed into a corner, being captured and killed left and right, and a loss is just around the corner if they don't do something drastic.

So Megatron does something very drastic indeed.

He steals the Allspark, in a heist that, frankly, should've gotten his entire high command killed (though, very suspiciously, they suffered no casualties and got out unscathed, save for Blitzwing, who clipped a wing), with the intent to ambush the Ark, and finally neutralize the greatest threat to his movement and his people: Optimus Prime. Unfortunately for everyone involved, the Allspark doesn't particularly like being used as a weapon and instead decides to put everyone in timeout on an isolated little backwater planet called earth until they can learn to get along and stop trying to kill each other.

Team Prime (Optimus, Ratchet, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, Wheeljack and Prowl) are all WOEFULLY unprepared to be stranded on an alien planet with only each other, Decepticon High Command (Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, Blitzwing, and Lugnut), and the very strange, very small, and VERY trigger happy humans populating the tiny rural forest town they managed to crash near.

Meanwhile, back on Cybertron, the remaining Decepticons are trying their damnedest to keep hidden, and survive underground, and the Autobots try to figure out what to do while their leader is missing. While the Autobots are left floundering without Optimus, the other active Primes and their followers (Sentinel Prime, Rodimus Prime and Windblade Convoy (yes I know she's not a prime anywhere else but let her girlboss)) try to garner favor with the Senate by picking up the slack, and taking the Decepticon problem into their own hands.

The Autobots

Aka, Optimus Prime's merry band of dysfunctional freaks.

Optimus had to find out the hard way that being a Prime means a direct connection in his mind and spark to an eldritch, incomprehensible god that likes trolling. So now he has to hear Primus in his head at random saying shit that does not make sense. And now that he's in there it's kind of a no takesies backsies situation

While being a Prime is supposed to grant you a degree of divine power, that power is only made manifest through strong dedication to a bot and to a cause. That intense loyalty is also what allows you to handle the connection in the first place. Primes that become disillusioned with their masters have a track record of going completely mad. Unfortunately for Optimus, pretty soon into his career as a prime, the Senator he swore loyalty to disgraced himself hard enough to be sentenced to shadowplay and empurata. Senator Alpha Trion ended up taking him in so he could keep functioning as a prime. It'd be a shame to lose such a talented bot. And with the whole threat of lovecraftian madness looming over his head, he pours his whole spark into following his every order.

Bumblebee is not a Prime, nor is he even particularly religious (even though his boss has a god that's taken up residence in his head) but for reasons nobody can quite seem to decipher, Primus absolutely loves the little gremlin, which manifests as Bumblebee having impossibly good luck.

There's not a situation he can't fling himself into headfirst and wildly intoxicated that he can't come out of with barely a scratch. It's actually given him a pretty warped perception of the war and hardship in general. He really wants everyone to just stop worrying so damn much. Everything always works out in the end, right? So why does everyone gotta be so grouchy all the time? Especially Prowl.

Prowl cannot fucking stand Bumblebee.

This mostly stems from the fact that the little yellow bastard seems 100% intent on making him "happy" and refuses to leave him the fuck alone. Prowl is, to put it bluntly, really fucking depressed. Originally, his function was law enforcement, but he became quickly disillusioned with the job when he realized just how corrupt the Praxus police force really was. When he quit, he felt he lost his purpose, stuck living with nothing to make of himself. Joining the Autobots was supposed to fix him, but even though he's started to turn his life around, he can't say he feels much better. He spends most of his time holed up in his quarters, either maintaining the team's weaponry or just binging old datatrax on teletraan-1.

Oh, and ever since he got to Earth and found out about anime, he's gotten to be a bit of a weeb

Taking care of the team's medical affairs is Ratchet, and even if he wasn't a massive perfectionist he'd have his work cut out for him. His entire team is prone to making stupid, reckless decisions that end in somebody getting disassembled somehow. Their erratic, chaotic behavior makes his processor ache just thinking about it. Unfortunately Ratchet is pretty paranoid, and generally unable to think about anything other than how wrong everything can go all the time.

He typically tries to put forward a very straight laced, very orderly image of himself, but it's a bit difficult to keep up that demeanor when the overthinking spiral takes him. And nobody makes him spiral quite like Wheeljack.

Wheeljack is generally just here to blow shit up and do some Weird Science. Typically this results in Jackie himself getting blown apart with whatever he's trying to explode, but he had a blocker installed for most of his pain sensors ages ago, so he doesn't mind too much. Especially not when there's a top notch medic he loves to annoy that can put him back together when that happens.

And when the good doctor gets completely tired of his shit, he's got his good buddy and lab partner Bulkhead to help him out too.

Bulkhead is a sensitive type, and largely considered to be the voice of reason on the team. Unfortunately, he often has trouble making his voice heard to begin with. He tends to be pretty quiet and really bad at voicing his thoughts, especially when those thoughts are about something that stresses him out. Given he works with Wheeljack, it's a miracle he isn't nonverbal entirely.

He loves his friend, he really does, but it gets frustrating seeing him get blown apart so often Bulkhead worries for his safety because Wheeljack seems to be incapable of worrying about his own. It's pretty easy for him to get caught up in Ratchet's overthinking episodes with his own anxiety until someone snaps them both out of it

How all of them have managed to survive this long, let alone nearly win the war, is anyone's guess.

[Apparently I just hit the image limit so I'll do the cons in a reblog lmao]

[spooky-dice]

random specific dndads hcs that are canon To Me (content warning: brief discussion of mental illness)

carol and darryl’s house is very white + millennial griege with dark flooring, open concept minimalism. carol likes interior design pinterest, and darryl can’t stand clutter. they’ve got one of those portrait gallery walls. (stainless steel fridge house)

mercedes and henry’s house is super maximalist with busy, warm coloured patterns and plants and decor on every surface. it gets dusty sometimes but most of their trinkets are gifts from other people or handmade from a craft market so they refuse to get rid of anything. (coloured vintage fridge house)

glenn lives in an apartment, it’s very undecorated bc renting is Like That, and he’s a big believer in buying impulsive treats and luxuries over any investments. big dvd bookcase. intense stereo system setup is the centerpiece of the place. has a bunch of neon signs taken from bars. (white fridge house)

samantha and ron’s place is generally anti-big light. always natural light or little lamps. dark hardwood. periwinkle walls. has a big sliding door to the backyard that’s always open with the screen closed so bugs don’t get in. lots of bookcases and rugs. (black fridge house)

henry and mercedes will keep EVERY drawing or test and put it on the fridge “to celebrate both victories and opportunities for growth!” and teen sparrow gets really private abt his art and shoves it all behind his bed frame so they can’t hang it.

he also doesn’t draw for a year after getting sent to the realms.

lark sneaks out of the house and wanders the neighbourhood/park/gas station at pretty much any chance. takes a lot of buses to random places. henry used to fight with him abt it but eventually just agrees as long as he sends a check-in text after 5 hours. they still fight abt this.

grant has harm ocd. darryl never gets diagnosed with anything but it’s likely he had religious + contamination ocd. they don’t really talk about this.

glenn has the radio or tv on all the time because the silence freaks him out.

mercedes is really passionate abt all types of craftsmanship. she takes up woodworking and upholstery after she retires.

carol had subtly hinted that she wanted one of those fancy hair heat tools for christmas for 3 years straight before caving and buying them herself.

the first time nick smoked he did it alone on their balcony so glenn wouldn’t see if he coughed.

grant and carol go to comic con together. they both pretend they’re doing it to indulge the other person but they both really enjoy it.

terry is a several-hour-long-video essay fan, any topic. sparrow and grant are into those video game lore deep dives so they send each other links.

nicky’s texts are generally incomprehensible. he thinks emojis are unironically funny.

lark has bad taste in music, like folk punk and midwest emo shit. (folk punk fans know it’s bad. don’t complain. im one of you.)

ron does not know geography. like he just doesn’t know any places.

samantha leaves a place for terry sr. at their holiday dinner table. it helps all three of the stamplers feel better.

morgan got tattoos when she was in her early twenties. in the first timeline she got a few more, and in the second she didn’t. she had her tattoos touched up before moving to hell.

the marlowe’s fence has a really busted section where scary used to practice scoring.

link does all those summer library events. he doesn’t like reading he just likes the vibes.

taylor is highly susceptible to tiktok (or whatever the time period equivalent is?) ads. bought one of those electric pots where the guy cooks in his dorm room and never uses it.

normal will rewatch the same movie a million times. he’s also really into those mediocre shows where they run for like 10 seasons even though all the episodes are the same.

rebecca and sparrow are one of those “don’t go to bed angry” couples. it’s not really working but the unspoken agreement is there.

veronica and terry love going out for brunch. scary sleeps til noon. they leave her waffles in the fridge.

scary wants more piercings but veronica says she has to wait til her other ones heal. scary is not very good at taking care of them. her helix is perpetually infected and she keeps toying with her eyebrow bar.

veronica also keeps warning her that black box dye is a bitch to lift. veronica knows this from personal experience.

link has bad posture but worries about it a lot so he’s always correcting himself.

hermie keeps a ranking of his favourite B:TAS/timmverse shows/episodes. he’s also the guy who has to bring up the fact that it’s animated on black paper backgrounds in every conversation about it.

[onebillionghosts]

@originalcharactersexyman

okay so adonis propaganda time. here's some more info on him

-he's an extremely powerful, human-eating, wyrm-like being doomed to one day cause the apocalypse, he rules his own underground city as the self-proclaimed "god" of wraiths (that is, ghostly undead creatures).

-although he was once a friendly, playful, and even kind person (though he always struggled with a quick temper, impulsitivity, and a tendency to run his mouth). however, the abuse he suffered growing up as a human (if he ever truly *was* one), the death of the only person who ever cared for him, centuries of isolation, and his own existence as a being called a "dire" corrupted him into a terrible, resentful, and sadistic person.

-despite his tendency to kill, eat, and torture humans, he still holds a playful, curious, easily excitable, flirty, and romantic streak (especially in his affection towards his late friend and lover, nacio). he is very eccentric, chaotic, expressive, dramatic, overdramatic, and easily angered. due to his own hidden insecurities and trauma, he hates feeling powerless or worthless or inferior to others, and will go out of his way to one-up or subjugate others.

-despite trying to put on the air of a seductive, cool all-powerful overlord, he's really at heart just an eccentric and emotional romantic who's a little too into violence and biting things. 

fun facts:

-he was born in the late 15th century. he's mixed irish and norwegian, and was born in ireland, but spent most of his childhood in south england. as a result, he has a strong accent that's a bizarre mix between west country, limerick, and medieval english. that and the fact that he's a rambling chatterbox with no inside voice means that he's nigh-incomprehensible when he talks, unless you know him well

-he was 19 when he became a fully-fledged dire, and he's stopped ageing since then… and he definitely acts that age lmao. that being said, he can shapeshift his body if he wants to

-his human form has wavy titian/copper hair (he's constantly changing up his hairstyle), droopy/downturned amber-brown eyes with golden sclera/pupils and long eyelashes, light warm-toned skin, a roman/aquiline nose, a beauty mark next to his mouth, and a very lanky body type. he also has a pretty high (almost kind of cute) voice, which is a strange contrast with his intimidating demeanor. don't make fun of it, he'll get mad

-he's an ExFP and 4w3/8w7

-his true form has snake, hookworm, and centipede traits. it can range anywhere from the size of a small garden snake to the size of mountains; whichever one he feels like at the moment. this is his actual real form; his human form is actually just a fleshy "shell" of sorts that contains his true form inside. 

-he has autism, adhd, bipolar-I, and pica. he will infodump to you for hours about flowers and snakes and nacio if you let him… and also whatever random things he's thinking about at the moment

-he has an older sibling named achlys, but that's a whole other can of worms. they completely despise each other, for complicated reasons

-he's a weird little freak <3 okay, well, not little, because he's actually 6'7 in his humanoid form… but you get the idea

-doesn't really give a shit about labels, but he's probably somewhere along the lines of homoflexible, and some kind of genderqueer that's vaguely along the lines of "fem-presenting dude". what gender is he exactly? fuck if i know. fuck if he knows either. he's his own thing. ultimate schrodinger's gender type character. he just defaults to male pronouns because that's what he's used to, but honestly he couldn't care less what you call him. (he *does* like it when people call him pretty though :] )

-he likes flowers, snakes, nacio, chewing/eating/licking random things, pretty things (like makeup/dresses/shiny stuff), warmth (he's cold-blooded), violence, blood, food (especially humans), cuddles, attention, talking, and being in charge.

-he dislikes boring things, the cold, being insulted, feeling bad about himself, feeling powerless, people who are better at something then him, people who get more attention or praise then him.

why you should vote him:

-to feed his ego

-he may try to eat the competition otherwise

-he will throw a tantrum if he loses and go melodramatically pout somewhere because he's a sore loser... though he is also a sore winner. 

-too many stereotypical "soft and sweet" autistic/adhd characters in the world, and not enough evil sexy bastardous ones that get bitches. i want to see more auDHD characters violently murder ableists. god bless

-because i love/hate him

-just look at him. weird evil sexy snake-worm-tipede twink. my beloved/beloathed unredeemable bastard freak who causes problems <3 there is something very wrong with him

-shitty one-minute doodle of him eating a flower. because i wanted to draw something new for this, but im too lazy so this is the best ive got: