#including but not limited to making that man sad and gay

[gritty-big-naturals]

okay so *alexis rose hands under chin listening enthusiastically gif* I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED to read your kreids/mika vamp fic (i just cant read incomplete fics, so im waiting for it to be finished for it to be an entire treat f or me!) But like i still want to know about it , like where did the concept come from, and the desire to write *THEM* as vamps?! is there anything you haven't published yet you can tell me about it!? Do any other hockeys/rangers make an appearance? are they still hockey players?

TELL ME WHATEVER you want about this fic honestly, im so READY TO READ IT (no pressure!)

oHOHO I CAN TELL YOU SO MANY THINGS

the idea came from irma zibanejad, absolute queen, putting this on her IG story

i deadass saw the picture and went “ah yes. vampire time” and then i checked the kreidbanejad tag on ao3 and there was not a single vampire fic and i knew what had to be done

the basic premise is that mika’s been a vampire in secret for as long as he’s been on the rangers. he’s got a regular blood “donor” who straight up bails out of the country with no warning so he’s shit out of luck with a very short window of time to figure out how he’s gonna eat, with a big road-trip coming up

he’s got uh. Emotions about being a vampire and most of them are negative (it wasn’t his choice) so he Refuses to tell the team about any of it and just gets sicker and sicker as time goes on

MEANWHILE kreids has been absolutely in love with mika for ages now and sees him start getting ILL and is really freaked out about it and gets (somehow even more) clingy with mika who is also coming to terms with the fact that he’s in love with kreids.

it comes to a head when mika is like. delirious on a road trip because he hasn’t eaten in a month and kreids accidentally starts bleeding im sure u can imagine where it goes from there 👀👀👀

it’s gonna be primarily mika & kreids but other rangers will def be making an appearance, i’m just not Entirely sure whomst exactly yet

but tl;dr i saw pointy canines and said hey what if he was a vampire and also sad about it and also suffering

(also no worries about waiting to read til it’s complete i completely get u!! i usually only read one shots or completed works myself so. i felt that. but i will warn u i’m one of them bitches that takes 83 years to write two sentences so it may take a min lmaoooo)

[amaywe]

Women and gay shipping in Anime

I just had a realization on why women seem to be the majority that ship male characters---women are able to put themselves in the female characters shoes. Let me explain. Often in highly popular male ships---specifically in anime for this post, including but not limited to Bakudeku, Sasunaru, etc.---the two male leads/rivals have an extremely close relationship and large portions of their lives, character arcs, and stories revolve around one another. Their is also more often than not a canonical female love interest the main male character gets with. The main male characters life, character arc, and story often doesn't revolve around the main female ones, but her life, character arc, and story revolve around him. What happens then is that the female love interest becomes second place to the other male lead. This alone is enough to justify why people ship the male characters as opposed to the main straight one, but the reason why women specifically often ship the two males leads because of this is because women don't want to put themselves in second place. To men, or really anime dudebros, the female love interest being second-place really doesn't matter to them. Their favorite male characters who they see themselves in gets to have his 'best-buddy' around all the time and gets the girl, because, duh, he deserves it. But to women, who often see themselves or can see themselves in female characters, wanting/watching her get with the main male lead feels sad. It literally feels like watching a friend from high school settle with their below-average high school sweet-heart. I don't want that for her. I want her to be an equal to the main character---a part that completes him, and in turn, a part that completes her. The main male lead and female lead often do not fill these rolls for one another. Do you know who does fulfill these roles for one another? Thats right, the two main male leads. Women reject the often unequal, heterosexual relationship presented to them in cannon and embrace the homosexual, equal, relationship that rarely ever happens. And its so bizarre because this inequality of relationships often occurs because of internalized mysogony authors hold towards female characters---like, what do you mean in order for my cannon straight relationship to be compelling I have to write a 3-dimensional female character that gives and takes from the main male character, I only know how to do that with men---but they ARE NOT gay. Or, even funnier, the authors did want to make it gay but couldn't so they just hinted at it a bunch. I'm looking at you Horikoshi and Masashi, I don't know anything concrete but I've heard rumors. I feel like this is also proven by the fact that when a female and male character are on an equal standing the amount of gay shipping surrounding those two is a lot less prevalent. Obviously it's still their because, duh, thats just how shippings work, but it is not nearly as large or intense as when the specific scenario I described above occurs. Like Kirishima and Mina (yes I know my only examples are from MHA), they are equals, and as such I have seen little to no argument against their relationship and a decrease in krbk work---which is also due to the recent MONUMENTAL rise of bkdk. Of course I know that a lot of shipping is due to fetishization and that this realization most likely isn't new or original but I have no one in real life to talk with about it with and want to get it out of my head. Like, why would I wanna watch a women settle for second place in a mans life, I already see that shit on the daily bruh.

[absolutebl]

Ranking Every Restaurant Based BL

As of August 2024. Shows not yet finished by that date are not on this list. Otherwise, features any BL set in the restaurant & beverage industry (that I've watched). I did not include the home cook domestic BLs on this list (like Our Dining Table).

1 To My Star

Korea 2021 Viki

10/10

Hwang Da Seul directing this show about a neurotic actor (actual puppy) who takes refuge with a grumpy chef resulting in sparks, cooking lessons, and LOVE! It’s is a touch quirky to get into, but utterly charming once it hits its stride. This is the ultimate grumpy/sunshine pairing plus the most appealing light-filled kitchen of our dreams. I adore this show so much. Limited use of BL tropes makes this feel more of a sweet contemporary gay romance between an actor plagued by scandal and the grumpy chef who adopts him, but the gentleness will appeal to fans of the BL genre.

2 What Zabb Man!

Thai 2022 YouTube

8/10

Star Hunter's WZM was better than we had any right to expect, with decent pacing and a foodie theme threaded through the narrative as both love language and plot driver. Basically CEO falls in love with a street vendor’s food, recruits him to work in his hotel, falls in love with him, and that’s just the beginning. Class struggles! Kitchen drama! Papaya pounding (not a euphemism)! Chef poaching (not literally)! Spicy scenes (yes both kinds)! It’s all so delicious.

3 DNA Says Love You

Taiwan 2022 Gaga

8/10

Okay it's only in a cafe about 1/2 the time but it is the main setting if not the plot. DNA deserves extra marks for an upbeat approach to a queer story arc that other shows have systemically mishandled with sadness (in the guise of realism). There is a twist, which I found predictable, but knowing what would happen didn't spoil this show. The leads are luminous and engaging, and it’s full of queer found family representation and an unexpected amount of domesticity, plus it’s Taiwan, so the kisses are great. The first few eps are rough going but have patience, it's worth it I promise! The second half is really special and life/love affirming - and the end is big-grin charming.

4 The Tasty Florida

Korea 2021 Viki https://www.viki.com/tv/38119c-the-tasty-florida

8/10

Not really a love triangle featuring the prettiest men ever to be grouped together outside of K-pop, honestly the visuals are ridiculous, there’s a story, it has to do with food, whatever, they so pretty. I have a weakness for this BL and it's entirely Speed's fault.

5 My Day

Pinoy 2020 YouTube

8/10

The set up on this one is enemies (also boss/employee) and they don’t like each other to start. But that gets resolved pretty quickly. And then they are some of the cutest, hottest, and best boyfriends ever. This is an under-appreciated BL, IMHO. It's also more set in the office of a food creation company, but there is a lot about food.

6 My Tooth Your Love

Taiwan 2023 Viki

8/10

Earnest dentist hottie with sad eyes who worries too much is smitten by an adorable sunshine neurotic bar owner with serious anxiety issues. They fall madly in love while courting each other with food, plushies, and naps. Then, shocker, talk about their feelings and try to actually sort out their problems so they can have an adult relationship. Bonus crumbs = 18 year old poor little rich kid in mad crush with a much older man. I really enjoyed this show, it had a unique premise, killer dialogue, there was a solid lead pair with charmg chemistry, soft flirtation, delightful smiling kisses, and stinkingly cute domesticity. All that said, I wasn’t wild about some of the darker themes it explored, even though it did a good job with them. And while the sides were adorable, they were underused. In the land of May/December, baby boy kabedon is my kryptonite! Why so little of it? (Kabedon is My Krytonite = also the name of my indie band’s first single.)

7 All the Liquors

Korea 2023 Viki & Gaga

8/10

A pretty classic foodie set KBL that managed to distinguish itself from others in this category by having a particularly satisfying final episode centered around found family. Sunshine sweetie soju rep gets involved with a shy introvert chef who doesn’t drink. This has a somewhat uneven plot and ridiculous central conceit (much in the way of Tasty Florida), but if you are looking for a restaurant BL with Korea’s signature softness, then this is a great option. FYI I may identify with our baby party boy hedonist more than any other BL lead ever presented.

8 Although I Love You and You - Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

Japan 2024 Gaga

8/10

The promise of this show, younger cook courts older divorced office worker, should have been my catnip. I mean if someone pitched this to me in an elevator I would have downloaded it by the second storey. Unfortunately, it did not exactly fulfil that promise, not in the way I'd hoped. Did I still enjoy the ride? Yes, but I feel a little let down.

9 Ocean Likes Me

Korea 2022 Viki https://www.viki.com/tv/38367c-ocean-likes-me

8/10

Stars Kpop’s best known out gay singer, Holland & Han Gi Chan (Where Your Eyes Linger). Noodle shop! Broken dreams! This is a solid little KBL, with a good premise and cast. Manic pixie dream boy can get old fast but when contrasted with awkward grumpy chef? It’s a tasty combo that elevates both ingredients. Holland is a charming screen presence - baby boy is HYPNotiC. And while I wasn’t entirely sold on the chemistry, these two did give us some very good kisses and sweet domesticity. I grinned through most episodes and I didn’t even mind the standard KBL 1 year separation at the end because it felt so true to the characters. Is this Korea's first out gay actor in a BL? I think it might be.

10 My Sweet Dear

Korea 2021 Viki

8/10

I liked this one a lot better than most. Strict professional rivals (chefs) in a very enemies to lovers BL - to the point where we mistrust the sincerity of the seme because he’s so very in it to win. I kinda like that, because kitchens are hotbeds of drama, and I like a seme with some sinister edge. But be warned, it means the whole romance comes off as a little disingenuous.

11 You Are Ma Boy

Vietnam 2021 YouTube

7/10

The leads in this drama crackle on screen together and I kinda adore them. No one has seen this BL, and you should really give it a try. Is there angst? Nope even what could have been angst (a gay idol) doesn’t materialize, it’s just cuties in a cafe confusing each other with cat & mouse games. The side het couple is a touch disturbing, tho.

12 My Lascivious Boss

Vietnam 2021 YouTube

7/10

While it did have pacing issues and some questionable content at the beginning, MLB’s unabashed queerness carried it though and ultimately elevated it with camp. It never felt like mockery or punching down, it felt joyful, and very new wave BL. It’s as if Vietnam is starting a process of handing out HEAs to all the letters of LGBTQ+ in BL style - I love this look for them.

13 Pure Vanilla

Singapore 2023 microfilm Gaga

7/10

It’s very sweet. Bit awkward acting. I love seeing real tats. I wish Singapore would give us a full proper BL.

14 La Cuisine

Thai 2022 Gaga

7/10

A sweet and somewhat pure show, and like the Thai desserts it features, perhaps requires too much patience for a layperson. Because of the pacing and the focus on a bad girl character, I did dock it. But if you like stuff in the Oxygen vein, then this show is for you, and far better than most Thai BL pulps. That said, I suspect that I enjoyed it more than many would.

15 My Universe - Lucky Love

Thai 2023 iQIYI

7/10

A boy suffering heartbreak is asked to look after a friend's restaurant, and meets a young chef whose food brings on a relationship. I enjoyed this 2 part installment, it’s a bit of a sad sack recovery SAGA, but the acting is genuine, the couple believable, and the story felt particularly queer to me. It was really quite charming.

16 Cooking Crush

Thai 2024 YouTube

7/10

1/3 of this is a sweet romance about a student doctor falling in love with a student chef, and the rest of it is utter dross. Look the OffGun bits were GREAT. In fact, I think they’re better AS A PAIR in this show than in any of their other BLs. And I'm a hard sell on any OffGun being better here than PickRome. Saying that, how can I review a show where I could only tolerate 1/3 of it? Because I didn’t like any other aspect of this show, no other pairs and no other plots. That gives me: 9/10 for the OffGun bits, 5/10 for everything else. Frankly, it probably should be an 8 but I gotta go with my gut and it's UPSET about this so 7/10. Sorry boys. It’s GMMTV’s fault. Your heart was in this show, mine wasn’t.

17 Love in Translation

Thai 2023 iQIYI

6/10

A sweet little pulp about a Thai boy with a crush on a Chinese influencer who ends up in a business relationship with her ex-bf. This show had truly great chemistry between the leads, cute found family with good rep, and an exciting (if silly) ending that almost, but didn't quite, make up for how incredibly annoying the main character was in the first half. Gotta say the make-out scene in the convenience store is one of the greatest in Thai BL history, but I can't like a show where I dislike the main character to such a degree, sorry DouOffroad I intend to enjoy your next offering.

18 Please Tell Me So

Korea 2021 microfilm YouTube

Cute barista (played by Han Hyun Jun star of Love Class) has a crush on his customer, musters up the courage to ask him out.

19 Love Advisor

Thai 2021 microfilm YouTube

6/10

Set in a cafe but not about cafe workers, this is an actor’s piece, more like a one act stage performance about friends to lovers and miscommunication.

20 VIP Only

Taiwan 2024 Gaga

6/10

A sweet if aimless story about a writer and a chef finding love via noodles, fake dating, and family challenges. If it had a tighter script and a shorter run, more like a KBL this might’ve been quite special. But it didn’t and it lost me too many times.

21 609 Bedtime Story

Thai 2023 WeTV

6/10

Okay it's sometiems set in a club but that's not really part of the... plot. An interesting time slip concept and a great set up ultimately disappointed. It opened strong, on one of my favourite under appreciated Thai actors: Plustor (as Vee) in a side bartender romance with younger bisexual king, Games. Unfortunately, it went downhill from there. OhmFluke’s solid chemistry and romantically soft kisses were ill served by a reformed rake meets rich-kid cheater pairing. While it was nice to see Ohm play a part with more animated facial expressions, his was the only character that remained consistent. All in all, this was a confusing show about disloyalty and parallel worlds that never made sense or stayed true to its characters. A promising start, confusing middle, and disappointing end. I don’t say this lightly, but Oh My Sunshine Night is better, and OhmFuke deserve better than either.

22 Bake Me Please

Thai 2023 Gaga

6/10

A lackluster story about a group of bakers coping with (mostly) a shoddy script that could not be saved by either the beauty nor the talent of the actors involved. It suffered for lack of narrative backbone and so did I.

23 Bite Me

Thai 2021 Viki

6/10 (yeah I'mm surprise too, I thought I gave this a 5)

Thailand gave us Korean style slowly simmering ultra soft and sweet BL only at a Thai length so the pacing was… not good. Slower than molasses and full of insane subtext, long gazes, missing dialogue, abrupt mood swings, and one very pretty kiss. It curdled around episode 8, the sauce split, and there was no saving it. It did have some of the best food porn I’ve seen in my life, and I watch cooking shows regularly. It was beautiful, the leads were decent, it should have right up my alley, and yet… it left me with a feeling of disaffected ennui - bland and boring and unsatisfying. 11 courses of tasty tasty pacing issues.

24 One Last Order

Korea 2019 microfilm Gaga

5/10

Extremely hot cafe customer has to figure out which of the cutie baristas has a crush on him and sends hime poetry.

25 Craving You

Taiwan 2020 Viki

5/10

Honestly, I haven't rewatched this since it aired and I maybe might cut it more slack now. About a jerk of a cook with a crush on a musician and having to make a cake for a gay wedding.

26 Coffee Melody

Thai 2022 Viki

5/10

Stars Pavel (my love) as a cafe owner (Forth in 2 Moons 2) and Benz as a composer (Call it What You Want). This should have been my kind of BL - on the fluffy end of the spectrum plus honestly queer. Unfortunately, the slow pacing, manufactured angst, odd secondary story arcs, and a selfishly immature unlikeable wet dishcloth main character, meant its flaws outweighed its charm. Jean (flame on snark fairy) is ME, I love him so much but in the end neither he nor Pavel in an apron could save this show for me. It’s not bad. It’s not good either. Ultimately so forgettable I’ve probably already forgotten it. There is also a Coffee Melody holiday special.

27 Evening Cafe

Thai 2021 YouTube

5/10

Cafe setting with no heat and no kisses (almost Chinese in this regard), but a decent lead pair. About a boy who works in a cafe and the new employee who has a crush on him. That’s it, whole story.

28 Love Area: Part 1

Thai 2021 Gaga

5/10

It ended on a cliffhanger and I'm still annoyed by it. But it is somewhat set at a restaurant.

29 Love Next Door 2

Thai 2014 Gaga

4/10

One of Thailand’s early very high heat pieces, it’s odd, but sexy I guess? Some unexpectedly decent queer rep at the cafe including femme characters getting screen time and HEAs. Part one from 2013 has the same high heat content and feature the same lead character (and actor) early on in his queer journey, discovering he is gay with the sex worker next door, but isn't as good nor is it relevant to this story. Which, unfortunately, also isn't very good.

30 The Promise

Thai 2023 WeTV

4/10

Although well acted this show dragged a too simple premise out into the ultimate manipulative miscommunication repeats of idiotic "why don’t you just TALK!?” Phu & Nan are childhood bffs through college (almost lovers) until Phu disappears. After looking/waiting for him, Nan gives up and self isolates, and the actual story takes place 10 years later. Phu’s “reason” and inability to say it out loud makes the whole show just frustrating, squandering good chemistry, and a stellar cast of multiple faen fatals (whose personalities would’ve made them better boyfriends). Seriously do not bother. What a damn waste of talent, time, and electronic bandwidth. Fatally flawed.

31 Love Area: Part 2

Thai 2022 Gaga

3/10

It wasn't as boring as Bite Me, but it wasn’t actually good, either. This started out as Thailand tackles love triangles pulp style, but in part 2 lockdown changed everything. Valen & Kaitoon dropped some great kisses but traded off crazy hair and makeup in a scene-by-scene whiplash that was clearly pickups done months after lockdown, and the second lead vanished. It was... surreal. Side dishes jumped up screen time but tackled mental health... badly. A fantastic new queer side character was randomly introduced, June, who was the best thing to happen to BL linguistics in 2022 but had nothing to do with the rest of the cast, show, or plot. What a mess. In the end, I didn’t know what I was watching, and neither did it.

32 Cafe In Love

Thai 2023 grey

3/10

A café setting featuring 3 couples with a great queer fam but held together by tropes and sexual-harassment, surrounded by dubious consent and statutory rape. Avoid.

33 I Am Your King 2

Thai 2019 grey

3/10

Early love triangle BL about a cafe boy caught between two brothers, mostly not good because the wrong brother wins. Has no connection to the original I Am Your King.

34 Senior Love Me

Thai 2023 YouTube

3/10

Pulp cafe, nothing happens, not even a BL

35 Jealousy is My Guest

Korea 2016 microfilm Gaga

2/10

Just very very odd and kinda deadly.

I also have 3 unrated DNFs in this sub genre:

Accomplishment of Fudanshi Bartender AKA Fudanshi Bartender no Tashinami - Japan 2022

My Story - Pinoy 2023

About Us but Not About Us 0 Pinoy 2022

Restaurant & beverage is my favourite possible setting for a BL. I'm extremely disappointed that the BL world hasn't produced more that I truly love. I'm not demanding 10/10 but I could use some 9/10s.

Side eyes Thailand and Japan.

(source)

[wrishwrosh]

re: tags on labor in historical fiction post, would be very interested to hear what the four examples you mentioned are!!

ok u know what that tag WAS bait, thank you for taking it. technically speaking these aren't works dealing strictly with labor in historical fiction, they are my four treasured examples of BUREAUCRAT FICTION (so not NOT about labor in history?) i was gonna try to make this post pithy and short but then i remembered how extremely passionate i am about this microgenre i made up. so sorry.

bureaucrat fiction is not limited by genre or format but criteria for inclusion are as follows: long and detour-filled story about functionary on the outside of society finding unexpected success within a ponderously large and powerful System/exploring themes of class and physicality and work and autonomy and what it means to hold power over others beneath the heartless crushing wheels of empire/sad little man does paperwork. also typically long as hell. should include at least one scene where the protagonist is unironically applauded-perhaps for the first time in their life-for filling out a form really good. without further ado:

soldier's heart by alex51324. the bureaucracy: british army medical corps during wwi. the bureacrat: mean gay footman/new ramc recruit thomas barrow. YEAH it's a downton abbey fic YEAH it's a masterpiece. i've talked about it before at length, my love has not faded. the crowning moment of bureaucracy is a long interlude where thomas optimizes the hospital laundry (this actually happens twice or maybe three times)

hands of the emperor by victoria goddard. the bureaucracy: crumbling fantasy empire some time after magical apocalypse. the bureacrat: passionate late-career clerk from the hinterlands cliopher mdang. i reread this book every winter bc it is as a warm bath for my SAD-addled brain and every time i neglect all my responsibilities to read all nine billion pages in three days. it puts abt 93% of the worldbuilding momentum into elaborating all of the ministries and secretaries and audits necessary to run a global government and like 7% into the magic and stuff. there are also several charming companion novellas and an equally long sequel that dives more into the central relationship between cliopher and the emperor which i highly recommend if you like gentle old man yaoi and/or magic, but there's more bureaucracy in HOTE.

the cromwell trilogy by hilary mantel. the bureaucracy: court of henry viii. the bureaucrat: thomas cromwell, the real guy. curveball! it's critically acclaimed booker prize winning rpf novel wolf hall! mantel is really interested in particular ways of gaining and maintaining power in delicate and labyrinthine systems like the tudor court, specifically in strongmen who use both physical intimidation and metaphysical manipulation to succeed. under these conditions i do think my best friend long-dead historical personage thomas cromwell counts as Bureaucrat Fiction (as do danton and robespierre in a place of greater safety. bonus rec.)

going postal by terry pratchett. the bureaucracy: fantasy postal service of ankh-morpork. the bureaucrat: conman, scammer, and little freak moist von lipwig. this is definitely shorter and lighter than the other three entries on the list, sort of a screwball take on the bureaucrat. but the mail is such a classic bureaucracy thing? who doesn't love thinking about the mail? also contains a key genre element which is a fraught sexual tension with the person immediately above the protagonist in their hierarchy, who is also their god-king and boyfriend-dad. you can't tell me vetinari isn't torturing moist psychologically AND sexually.

anyway sorry about all this. if you've read any of these come talk to me about them. bureaucrat fiction recs welcomed with the openest possible arms.

[kajaono]

Part 1: Benedicts arc - How season 3 fixed a major issue of season 1

Because I hit the desktop picture limit this meta will be posted in two parts. (you can find part 2 here)

If you watch season 3 as a standalone season Benedicts coming out arc might feel rushed and without any build up. But if you look closer it is actually a really beautiful way of fixing a huge issue of season 1. Stick with me here.

Part 1: The very first trailer and the failure of season 1

When the very first trailer for Bridgerton season 1 dropped it included this short snippet:

Its part of a bigger sequence, containing a lot of people having sex, showing that Bridgerton is "different" then other period shows. Interesting here: all other sex scene shown in the trailer are straight, only this one here, showing Benedict, half undressed, in the middle of an orgy, is queer. So the very first time we see Benedict he is immediately connected to something queer. Many people even thought it is Benedict who is having sex with another man here, saying: "Ah that makes sense that they would make Benedict queer. It fits his characters." (remeber: we didn't knew the context of those two snippets yet)

So this was the expectation many people (me included) started into season 1.

Entering the picture: Lord Granville. Who already enters the show in episode 3. A cute artist who is clearly gay and starts hitting on Benedict.... i mean introduces him into the artist world.

A world that - from the beginning onwards - is strongly connected to lust.

And Benedict likes what he sees.

But what so interesting here. While Benedicts focus is clearly on the naked women in this moment, Lord Granvilles focus is clearly on Benedict.

And the show also plays with other romantic tropes, like the hidden meeting during night times, nervously looking around if someone will see him:

All of this raising your expectation that a queer love story is happening here.

And now, the orgy:

the scene opens with a lot of people having wild sex with eachother. From a modern POV it would just be normal if there are also a few queer people involved here

But nope, you don't see any queer people until!

Benedict is looking for a comfy place to make out with his female partner and discovers what is hidden behind closed doors. Queer people do exists, hidden in the shadows, but they exist. And men can sleep with men.

Shocked by the discovery that his new artist friend is gay (who could have guess?!/s) Benedict closes the door. He doesn't snitch but you can clearly see that he is in shock.

And here starts the huge failure of season 1 imo.

First at all we discover it is in fact NOT Benedict who is having sex with a man, so the season 1 trailer was in fact just queerbaiting. Benedict then turns around and has sex with two women instead. Something that is still considered scandalous, but not as scandalous as him sleeping with another man:

After Beneidct discovers Lord Granville and his boyfriend having sex, Benedict isn't disgusted, no, actually he is really open minded and still enjoys being around Lord Granville. His wife makes a joke, and you can see Benedict likes this little innuendo

The moment he starts to panic is when Lord Granville wants to introduce him to his boyfriend.

He panics and runs away. After that Lord Granville and his wife look at each other, sad. Like they hoped Benedict would understand. Wow I wonder what they wanted to imply here!

You think its over? HA! No! The queer storyline is coming back once again to haunt Benedict. Benedict walks up to Lord Granville and wants to talk about queer topics:

And now comes the most powerful, and most beautiful... and most pointless scene:

Why pointless you may ask? Because this scene leads nowhere. While Benedict is clearly moved by it, the queer storyline is immeditaly droped after that scene.

My theory was always that this was already a Sophie easter egg, showing how it will take courage for him to love a bastard... but come on... why a queer storyline as a mirror? It feels like the author said: "Yeah it is queer, we weren't lying about that. But it is not Benedict who happens to be queer."

But that doesn't change the fact that Benedicts whole season 1 arc is strongly connected to queerness and disocvering what is going behind closed doors.

That makes season 2 even more disappointing. Because the queer arc is not picked up again, actually completly ignored. Like it never happened.

Read how season 3 fixes that in part 2, here

[castlebyersafterdark]

oh finn being the first of the cast mentioned??? okaaaaaaaay. I feel like had this been last season or even a year or so ago that millie and finn’s places woulda been switched. it’s either a sign that him and noah bonded hard this go around while filming a very important byler end game, or that finn is now the most important cast member to him for ~other reasons (cough) or hopefully, both! 👀

but everything in that post made me tear up. he’s so sweet and genuine. i would cry if someone wrote something so sweet about me. he even included the crew! the part about feeling like an outcast hit hard knowing how he’s still treated as one by so many people…. I hope to god this isn’t the true end of the ST world cause this is a family and they absolutely cannot drift apart!!! they need to fire up the spin-offs asap! a limited byler spin off to start. make them crime solving boyfriends or something i don’t caaaare lmao

Been emotional about Noah's post all day, it's really struck me and stuck with me. He's such... what a unique soul. It's honestly such an important insight, heart and mind and soul. Because there's many who've in the past coined him as vapid and superficial, as is the caveat of social media culture. Unavoidable sometimes. But look at him, look at all that. The sincerity. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Dedication to his art. Ughhhh said with the deepest ache. I've reread his list several times and everything he stated as important takeaways from His People are all such good tenets to adhere to in life as well. So much wisdom and feel good sentiments.

It so sad how things played out, all from misunderstanding and naivety due to a caring nature born from a very complicated situation. Society and era of hate. I don't really like to comment on all that stuff here, this isn't the place, other than to say that his constant bullying breaks my heart. The feeling like an outcast part just broke me. He's sometimes seems so carefree and outgoing and other times like that, I think he's so different than you might expect. Oh, I'm just wishing and hoping for all good things in his future. I think it's apparent this show ending is going to hit him the hardest out of the cast - can we blame him? Especially how the story has revolved around the character of Will and what Will means to Noah and to all who love Will. Noah is so entwined with that story. And especially as a young gay man whose life has paralleled the storyline of this character. I cannot even begin to imagine what it's like portraying a character with the sexuality struggle, the secret, all while living it?? And then when the world officially knows the truth about that character, the actor reveals a similar path. This is why the way we all hope Will's story ends is sooooo much more important than just fandom silliness - yes, it's a story but for the real guy portraying him? Getting the happy ending after this journey will be everything.

And the Finn factor of it all. Stunning development that he was the first named cast member after starting off with the professionally focused accolades. It really speaks volumes to me. Everything for so long would lend both Millie and Winona above him. The listing is so deliberate. How close they are, how important and special they are to each other, how much may have changed this last filming era... wow. So much to think about with one little (huge) accidental posting.

[shinygoku]

Captain Scarlet Headcanons

A man stands in the gloom of an alleyway, lit up only by a yellow tinted spotlight. He’s tall, dark and handsome, and his striking red and black uniform give him quite the presence. The latest in the line of Anderson Heroes and the one tasked with enduring the most gruesome of settings and personal circumstance.

Also he’s gay and autistic, good for him!

Welcome to my Headcanons for Paul Metcalfe, aka Captain Scarlet.

I’m primarily drawing straight from the one true canon source; the 1967 Television Series, with some supplementary tidbits from the Haynes Manual and bonus material from my DVD set. I’m not counting from tie in novels, audio only stories, or comics, as they’re lower in the hierarchy and hard to come by, but if they’re any good then they shouldn’t contradict anything I have here ;D

This is a long post, so I’ll put the cut up here. Great to read when you’re sitting down with a nice drink and/or snack~

CANON INFO

Paul Metcalfe will be born in Winchester in 2036 and the series starts in 2068, making him 31 with change (as his DOB is in December and Ep 1 sure don’t look like Winter) when he’s killed and Mysteronised. That’s really quite sad, but of course, this is a series about a war…

With his December the 17th Birthday, he’s a Sagittarius. The prophecy aspect could allude to the occasionally remembered Mysteron Sense he has? Key traits mentioned include (Positive) Idealism and generosity, and (Negative) pronounced impatience and being shockingly blunt. These all fit nicely with our man in red here.

I ain’t sufficiently interested in Military crud to rehash it or try to put my own spin (I had to look up what a commission is in that context and I still only half get it!), same applies with Academic stuff, so for both them I’ll let the bio provided in the Haynes Manual cover it lmao

“Background: From a long-serving military family. Trained at West Point Military Academy. Following completion of degrees in technology, history and mathematical application at Winchester University joined World Army Air Force as private, rising rapidly to colonel through inspiring capacity to command and military professionalism. Having noted qualities of leadership, strategic thinking and dedication to duty, approached by Spectrum selection committee to become leading field agent. Commission accepted immediately.”

Yeah, the main characters of Anderson shows go real hard on the expansion pack pasts, I’m unsure how hilariously over the top it is compared to the 5 Tracy Boys but they weren’t shy about making the leads Cool and Experienced!

Also from the Haynes manual, instead of Personal Interests like most’a the other cast members, there’s a Special Note. It strikes me as a bit more cold and impersonal than what the Show has, and take it with a slight pinch of salt, but I’ve got it transcribed as written:

“After reconstruction by Mysterons following death in car crash and subsequent fall from tall structure, replica accepted as serving officer having completed extensive tests revealing capacity for retro-metabolism and loss of Mysteron influence.” 

Well anyway, that covers the Canon info, it’s limited but pretty interesting for what it’s worth. Below is another short bio, this one from my DVD set (the info presumably having been provided in Annuals prior).

HEADCANONS 

As ya can see in the Marital Status section, he’s Single. I shall make the bold statement too that he’s gay but possibly isn’t consciously aware of that …yet? He can see when a girl is pretty but he doesn’t React much to it, and none of the interactions he does have with ladies is romance coded. In fact, when Linda Nolan pretty strongly implies attraction he literally says: “Thank you. Let’s go, Adam!” –  I really think he didn’t Twig her intent and then he’s instantly getting Blue’s attention instead XD ~ But he does have stronger and more diverse interactions with other guys, especially Blue ;3

I think he’s autistic but good at masking – even before being Mysteronised his resting face is very unexpressive and his seemingly sincere bidding of good luck sounds quite flat. Other factors include the above mentioned focus on professionalism but deviating when his principles are challenged or things aren’t going to plan, plus how he spends free time in a quiet environment and mostly hanging out with Blue when given the chance. Also, again his canon Good At Academic angle. I expect he thrives fairly well in the pseudo military environment as it provides structure, routine and clear rules (Though he will disregard those when he’s being particularly spicy!).

Can be stubborn and impatient (noticeably uses a louder voice when re-asserting something), and isn’t the best at hiding his thoughts. Otherwise seems to have a stiff upper lip and good nerves. Slight hints of arrogance on occasion but strongly principled. He’s got a dry and sardonic sense of humour.

Mostly very professional but he’s not “on” all the time. Sitting at his Boss’ desk with his feet up on the desk as he Vibes is the oddest example, yet it doesn’t feel shockingly out of character. I’ve noticed he sits weird in many scenes too, sometimes his ankle rests on his knee, propping his feet way up on White’s desk, or sitting in a chair sideways (can file under gay / autistic traits / omg he just like me fr), and states in Spectrum Strikes Back that he enjoys the quietness of nature with less people around too (he’s SO real !!) Like when he needs to cool off in White as Snow it’s the little flower house on the Promenade Deck he picks to gaze out into the blue yonder.

I like the idea that Agent Blake from the Secret Service is his grandfather (Meta: the Captain Scarlet puppet was reused for the role), personally I see it working better as him being Paul Metcalfe’s Maternal Grandpa. As for the Paternal line, that’s where several generations of Military dudes comes from :T –  At least the Blake personality may explain where Scarlet got the history and maths nerd interests, Blake does have that bookish vibe rather than a strong presence.

Seeing how his Mysteron Sense manifests as Nausea, I think he gets motion sick more easily than a Pilot and Guy who drives Armoured Tank-Cars Backwards ought to… so he wears Pressure Bands to alleviate the sickness response (but the Mysteron Sense may bypass that, being psychic rather than motion based). I know it’s in part due to the puppets but he sure seems to prefer wearing high necked, long sleeved shirts, be it uniform of civvies (And well, 60’s fashion be like that too lol, maybe he’s a smidge Trendy!).

MYSTERONISATION & RETROMETABOLISM

Ok, so as one of the first to be Mysteronised, it feels like the Mysterons were themselves experimenting with how their duplicates were going to be. Black seems to be forcibly possessed with his personality overridden, and both Brown and Scarlet are killed in a car wreck fireball to be copied. 

While Brown was used to be a suicide bomb, Scarlet was used to try to take the President alive instead. Scarlet’s second death was from being shot in the chest and then falling maybe 10,000 feet (idk distances. It was REALLY really high!) to a presumably gory landing. However, after they get his remains back at base, they’re shocked to discover him showing signs of life again and his body reverts to his as-new form after the first Mysteron Reconstruction, but instead of being a pawn of the Mysterons, this time Scarlet is back to his original body’s personality, and that’s how he stays thereafter. I theorise that as he was an early draft, the Mysterons didn’t have the expectation that the healing factor they installed would be that potent, nor did they put in a way to Keep their programming after said death. That, or they did want to have a worthy opponent in their ongoing war of nerves… But yes, Scarlet remains completely unique as both a Reconstruction (effectively a clone of Paul Metcalfe [re]born at 31 with all his memories before the explosion-death intact), but also one with free will and unlimited healing powers that bring him back from death multiple times.

The Mysterons presumably don’t install a healing factor into the Mysteronised Drones thereafter, though they are harder than normal to kill, with High Voltage Electricity being the only surefire to kill them, and presumably would permakill Scarlet too. They are also unable to be X-rayed, instead being opaque on such photographs.

But yes, the grisly central premise of the show is that even though Scarlet can indeed be killed, he won’t stay down forever. Though he’s Indestructible, that’s from the healing power repairing injuries and reversing death rather than a Superman-esque bulletproof skin (the opening of the show features this only for brevity lol, the episodes themselves stick to the rules). Nope, it’s even explicit that he feels the pain of injuries and dying each time! That’s rough, buddy! 

A much lesser side effect of being a Mysteronised Clone is the “Sixth Sense” Mysteron sensing response that the writers sometimes forget about, where Paul feels nausea when another replicant is nearby.

The healing power is called the same term that the Mysterons use to recreate destroyed matter: Retrometabolism. And now I’ve recapped the origin and summary, I wanna dig in to the headcanoning part that they show sadly didn’t make enough time for… >:3c

🟢👁👁🟢

Here’s how I think Retrometabolism works for Scarlet specifically: In the event of injuries, the wound in question will get healed pretty quickly. The smaller the wound, the faster it heals, but even something like a broken leg or bullet wound will still leave no scar tissue or residual effects after the process is complete. However, if he’s been killed, then the Retrometalbolism probably focuses first on his most major organs to get his body restarted as swiftly as possible, with lesser injuries coming afterwards. 

I also imagine if the cause of death was something like being shot, the Retrometabolism will also force the bullet out, assuming it got stuck in his body. If he was poisoned, it would purge and/or neutralise this before getting his body back online. If he had brain damage from either the direct cause of death (hello, Operation Time!) or as a side effect of his brain being starved of oxygen, that damage will be waved away all as part of the package. It also seems he’s immune to disease, a hypothesis actually observed in Place of the Angels. I think he must also be immune to the harmful effects of Radiation, or at least that the death and rebirth would cleanse any lingering sickness.

However, the more grisly his death, the longer it will take to heal. I reckon the only way to speed up the Retrometabolistic process would be for surgical intervention to essentially do as much clean-up as possible so the Retrometabolism can ‘focus’ on the regeneration part. For this reason I think being riddled with bullets would probably be a simpler process than the times Scarlet is caught in an explosion, or some of the potentially-canon situations shown in the end credits which vary from a stock Pulp hazard (Dynamite, being thrown out of a speeding car, threatened by a cobra) to honestly quite nightmarish (the walls of spikes, the swamp/quicksand, being about to be run over by a tank, the impending inferno as he trips on a burning beam….), and the end credit scenarios offer an underrated facet of Spectrum.

It’s easy for bad faith takes to dismiss the dynamics of Scarlet as “the guy who always dies” and the other Spectrum officers as being surplus to requirements, but that’s a reductive and daft way of looking at it. Instead why don’t we focus on how much interest and (for lack of a better term) variation in strategy it offers when one member can offer to make the riskiest plays, in the safety not of having regenerative powers, but the assurance that there’s backup to retrieve him and look after him while he’s completely helpless. Like, in the Shark picture, I think the threat is much less the toothy fish, but instead that Scarlet is doomed to be stuck underwater, maybe ready to return to life but without outside assistance unable to do so without drowning all over again. There would be a lot of trust and courage needed in these situations, not to mention how deeply unpleasant it is for humans to be around a dead body that may also be in quite a state, so it’s a strange sort of sweetness that Scarlet has all this back up when needed.

I also feel it’s worth mentioning my headcanon on the mysterious case of the Two Scarlets - OG Human who is perma-dead and the Mysteron version with Retrometabolism. First of all, while it happens entirely unmentioned and offscreen, I expect Spectrum New York dug around the crash site a bit more after reporting Brown’s corpse and then found Scarlet’s. This body is presumably in a morgue, perhaps cremated or buried but perhaps not. Presumably it’s Scarlet’s call to make…

I don’t think there was any personality change at a core level between the Scarlets, though if he got more moody or distant or whatever I don’t think anyone can hold it against him! But in part of their accepting, embracing even, of Mysteron!Scarlet, I feel like his Self would remain how it was, with the caveat of the new tactical routes opened by the indestructibility. 

And, while the headcanon train chuffs along, I guess I can wonder how long Retrometabolism will last with the Scarlet we know and love? Will repeated use ever cause it to fade, or is it as unshakable like the movement of planets? Will it prevent him from aging, each death reset bringing him back to 31 physically, or will it see him into twilight years? If the Mysterons were defeated, would the power be taken away with them, or eased off as their influence fades like a memory? It may depend on how the Mysterons were to be beaten, or come to a peaceful agreement. If they could strip it from him, then their keeping it active for their recurring counter may add fuel to the idea they’re playing a game and need specific pieces to always be in play.

In that regard, I only have questions. But puzzling out and solidifying my interpretations of this fine fellow has been a lot of fun, and even after I finish editing this, and after I’ve posted it, something else is sure to occur to me to mull over! This show deserved to be longer, but everything it gave me is cherished, and at the heart of that is this autistic gay king. He’s intriguing and, of course, indestructible!

🌈🚀🌟

[madlad-sadgal]

Goldenheart debate

So, I've seen this going on about Goldenheart which is if Ballister is a bottom or a top. Most people seem to say bottom, but I have to debate this.

(Also, please note that this is my own opinion and I do not wish to offend anyone)

Spoiler warning!

So, first off, at the beginning of the movie, before all of it, I totally agree that Ballister is a bottom. Like, this sad and wet cat man with puppy dog eyes is a complete and total bottom. Ambrosius could ask him to do anything and he would be on his knees doing it without a second thought. But, we have to remember that Bal evolves a lot all throughout the movie, mainly, he becomes more confident.

I saw another post that I sadly can't find, but credits to them, that stated that we slowly see Bal get more and more comfortable and confident, that there seems to be this lack of tenseness in him that we didn't really see before, even when he was with Ambrosius, and I totally agree!

Nimona makes him a lot more confident and he sees her as someone he can be himself around. Sure, Ambrosius was that someone, but we can clearly see that Bal is quite different because of the Institute, going to the lengths of literally trespassing on Institute grounds as a child to being afraid to break the rules, even as a wanted supposed villain. So sure, he was himself with Ambrosius, but he still put limits to himself that the Institute forced him to have.

Now with Nimona, there aren't really any rules, the only one being basically "Don't be an asshole" but other than that, he is free to be reckless when he wants. Nimona even pushes him to be more reckless so their energy match. The moment I feel he really gets into it and we see it is when they're fighting the knights and Ambrosius at the castle after trying to show the proof for the first time.

He goes from begging Ambrosius to trust him to goofing a little with Nimona in a moment of pause during the fight, and he just seems so much more loose. Which, to me, shows he is much more confident and doesn't forcefully restricts his fun side as much.

Also, when he and Ambrosius are getting nachos;

Ballister isn't afraid to show that he's mad at him, pushing him away, and even acting a little snarky. I feel like he wouldn't have done that at the beginning. Nimona made him more confident, and I think it shows.

Now, confidence shows in many parts of your life, including sex. If you're not confident in yourself and your abilities, you might just subconsciously take on a more submissive role, the opposite going if you're confident.

So, at the beginning, not-that-confident Ballister is a bottom yes. But towards the end? Sure, when he and Am started getting frisky again, he took on a submissive role by reflex, but I can just image then making out one day and something flipping in Ballister's head before he just flips them over, surprising Ambrosius.

He is probably just a power bottom at first, but I can easily imagine a conversation going like;

Bal: Can I try toping?

Confused Am: ...Sure?

And after that I am positive they just became switches.

Anyways, this is mostly just my headcanon for what happened, might share more if y'all like this, but all that to say that I adore this movie and I am obsessed with with these gay knights and their gremlin child! <3

[mandy4ever69420]

What’s your solution to Kash situation then?

interesting question! i said in the tags, there's not a GREAT solution - the harm is already taking place, unfortunately. so the main goal if you were "feet on the ground" in this situation is to prevent it from continuing or reduce its impact. i'm not an expert in defusing abusive situations, i'm sure someone with more time could give some more specific solutions but i CAN spitball really quick:

removing kash from a position of power/regular contact with ian

this is the sort of thing best suited to someone in a position like linda's. in this case the largest single cause of abuse is kash's opportunity and influence. so, see: "you can no longer work managing this store, find a different job and i'll literally hire a some teenager to work with ian" - when kash tried to move his relationship to ian to any place outside of the store physically, ian instinctively freaks out because of the unfamiliarity of the situation.

getting ian a different job

this one is frustrating, because it really doesn't do anything to stop kash from repeating his pattern on just another young hire, but being in the position to just have ian attending some other location - a fucking wal mart, who gives a shit - daily, taking up his time and creating distance, he'd be less inclined to keep believing he is as close to kash as he thinks

redirecting ian's time and attention

this is the closest to the actual end of the situation in the text - the second ian meets someone his age to obsess over, he pretty much immediately loses interest in kash. though mickey was delightful, i'd bet literally any boy his age would've been interesting & comfortable enough that he would have lost interest in kash. he doesn't drop the habit of sleeping with older dudes after finding someone his age, but he also never seems to respect or care for any of the other sad fucked up relationships he's in.

it's important in situations with kids to try to NOT seem like the enemy, up to and including seeming like you just think kash is the bad guy, even though he is. lip panics, understandably, because shock, fear, and disgust are THE most natural emotional responses, but this causes him to yell at ian, leaving ian on the defensive. there's no blame to be placed on lip here as he handled this the best he could given his age and limitations in perspective. it's surprising he was aware at all that a young handsome unthreatening man was a predator, since that's just not the image you learn about

offering ian a safer, different, avenue to get the things he's missing, which are being offered by kash

one of the most standout points, and the thing that caused me to feel the most anger watching kash, was when he responds with "that's amazing, i'm so proud of you!" because that was INDISPUTABLY something ian needed to hear (even though the achievement was fucking stupid. military) -- it seems fiona is ABLE to see his accomplishments, but ian either can't take it seriously because he DOESN'T see her as an adult to rely upon (because he sees her youth and her pain) OR, she doesn't mention the ways she's proud of him often, because she assumes he knows, given he portrays a calm and confident exterior, or because she's busy and absent

ian's isolation also pushes him towards kash - he knows being gay is unsafe, but he NEEDS to talk about it. he feels some level of fear, which can only be understood in the context of him being gay, or at least, knows how his experiences are innately different from those of his peers, which he can discuss with kash. much as mandy lacked the perspective necessary to see kash & ian as anything but a slightly scandalous and exciting relationship, i think giving ian a sense of a safe place to land, someone to talk to, reduced his sense of reliance upon kash's interest significantly.

(also, though i don't think ian is materially aware that his lack of access to nice things influences his decision making - "what about what i bought for him, huh?" - just, cutting kash from his "ian money" and leaving it as "ian's money for nice things" would reduce ian's sense of loss at the relationship, and hopefully leave him confident enough to start moving past)

--> though i hate to take any of this into offering direct sympathy towards kash, reducing HIS fear (in this case, of homophobia) might also just prevent him from taking advantage of someone who is not in a position to judge or say no to him. unfortunately, i really don't know what makes people like this tick, so i don't know the best way to just, teach it out of someone. i am not a psychiatrist.

taking care of the emotional needs of a victim is always priority over the urge to punish a perpetrator

ian seems emotionally fine, which is weirdly a thing that can and does happen, but if we take his safety as the goal over making everything right, then months or years down the road a very important thing is just giving him a good avenue to emotionally process where he's been. people recover faster from traumas if they're given their own space and time to do so, and received without judgement.

institutional stuff:

these are harder things to implement that would have greater impact on the prevalence of grooming just in general. clearly, as a single person directly involved in this situation, this would be pretty much impossible to implement. but a big part of what comes up in discussions of abolitionist perspectives on child abusers is "oh but this happens so much, how would you deal with abusers without prisons?"

people tend to think of grooming and abuse as sort of isolated incidents in a weird pattern. but they are very much institutionally enabled by isolating people and often only offering exit strategies that involve causing harm to a perpetrator. no one who cares about their abuser, as many people DO, wants to send them to prison to be brutalized

SO:

giving kids more, normaller relationships to adults

if every adult in your life is an authority figure that you can't talk to as a friend, and can only look up to as a judge, you have nothing to compare as a healthy friendship with an adult against stuff like what kash had going on, where he's determined to be the boyfriend and the dad you never had

also: having more adults means less sense that you need approval and support, because, well, you can see how fucking stupid random people are, AND it means more opportunity that someone may notice and be proud when you achieve something - if, random example, your parents happen to suck and be absent, having a random nice friend at idk like bowling club be like "wow, awesome job!" offers similar validation, leaving a kid like ian less reliant on the frank-or-monica-or-kashes of the world

this could look like: more and better funded teachers in schools, all-ages events, greater connection to extended family, extended family's friends, or something else!

just, less with the homophobia, or sex stigma in general

one of the strongest weapons in kash's arsenal with regards to keeping ian's mouth shut, and keeping ian feeling reliant on him, is that ian IS in real danger for being gay -- like i said, you can't even call the cops on kash safely, because this outs ian publicly!

in other, similar, situations, even between like an adult man and a young girl, just having stigmatization around interest or questions about sex totally blockades the ability to gauge whether the person they're talking to is safe or not. so the thought: sure, it's weird, it gets a little uncomfortable, but this is the only person you can talk about with.

some adults in shameless actually, mostly unintentionally, offer some recourse to this by being decent and nonjudgemntal enough to talk to. fiona handles alright her siblings' interest in relationships as they grow up. not perfectly, of course, since debbie's sense she can't rely on anyone older, and ian's secrecy and unrealized need for approval and support lead them both into relationships with adult men. fiona also doesn't offer this judgement-free "you being safe? ok, that's all i need to know" perspective to anyone she's NOT related to - she's pretty judgemental towards mandy, probably anybody she can categorize as "other" enough to not view with the consideration she does her own siblings.

even in like, a perfect world, though, it's not possible to completely eliminate abuse. this is where the -- Focus on ensuring the victim is okay, offering care and recovery, not on revenge against a perpetrator.

FOR THE RECORD:

i don't mind getting questions like this! these come up when you talk about the dangers of calling the cops, or the rights abuses of the prison system A LOT - it's worth noting, i'm sure these ideas are written about in abolitionist lit, but i feel like sometimes when someone reaches out with "i heard you point out the problem, what the fuck do we do about it??" it's really common for people to be rude and dismissive to say - even though it's true - "i don't have a perfect solution, i can just say that the idea given as default is NOT one" it's a very very good followup question to "holy fuck, this doesn't work" to wonder "what would?". that's actually the only way forward!

to close off, my extremely negative reaction to "someone SHOULD have called the cops" doesn't mean if lip HAD i'd really hold it against him - active cases of assault are some of the only situations in which i can see that a bludgeoning instrument like a cop may be a reasonable response. just please consider the ramifications of a legal case. placing anger or blame on someone for NOT calling the cops on a man of color so he could be brutalized by homophobes and racists while putting his victim under the spotlight of the court system is very shortsighted.

[marciabrady]

explain to me the heteronormative angle of tngled in particular, sounds fascinating. i thought by their narrative structure most disney films were hetnorm in nature due to the inclusion of a love story, sometimes unneeded. you see it most in movies where the romance plays secondary like fox and the hound or jungle book.

While I have a different take, I can definitely see where you're coming from! From my perspective though, none of the original four princess movies had forced "obligatory" straight side-ships or main ships (I think they all develop in a way that makes so much sense) and the models of all the characters- from the Princesses to Sebastian to the fairies to the Dwarfs and beyond- offer so many different perspectives and methods of expression and identification. I think the relationships all the characters have regarding their gender is healthy and varied. They're all nuanced individuals that are distinct and different from one another, with some productions even having gay coed characters (Triton and Ursula are the main ones that come to mind- I'm not including the remake btw because that's been so straight washed it's sad). The women in all these films can be themselves openly and freely (more on this in the next reply I'm about to post to another question, because it's pertinent to my opinion on Tangled).

Tangled, to me, reads differently and just reeks of an all straight writer room and such a lack of diversity of thought. With the earlier princesses, they all had something different to offer and were unique flavors, for lack of a better word. By the time we got to Tangled, Disney had been so self-conscious of how to portray a Princess and had essentially reduced their leading ladies to women that held their own against contemporary, live action counterparts to...baby sitters for children and creating, explicitly, what they thought would be a good role model for children and aging the prime demographic drastically done? ALSO I think, by this point, they only knew how to portray a female character in one way because they were so weighed down with the overwhelming criticisms against Disney Princesses. (Which, btw I think it's fine that they're taking into account how children are going to perceive the character but like when the character is mostly only written to appease straight suburban moms who find anything to complain about, it's creatively stifling and results in a lack of art and more of a commercial product in my opinion; it robbed these characters of being natural in their depictions, in my opinion). And I think, also, the way the characters of Rapunzel and Flynn are treated, even Mother Gothel, it just. Yeah it feels like a straight person's fantasy lol

I'm sure you've heard of the "hot guy meeting" where straight women were asked to come in and pitch the most desirable features, in their eyes, of what a man should look like and how that ultimately resulted in Flynn? One of the features mentioned was thin upper lip...yeah lol and also just like. I think Rapunzel is so limited in her portrayal. She's meek and submissive and feminine enough to appeal to the traditional quotient of the audience, and doesn't really do anything to move the needle one way or the other, but she has specific things stated in the narrative to appease the angry mothers ready to condemn Disney (she's turning 18 so she's legal!!! if Flynn met her a day prior she won't be, but they intentionally made her right at the legal age of being an adult. Not 19, not 20, not 25, but 18) while also still giving her attributes that would check off the "feminist approved list" that every female character is subjected to now (she runs! she's barefoot and active! she has hobbies, as evidenced in her opening number, though not many of them ever really get brought up later in the film). And it just rubs me the wrong way that she has to quantify all of her character traits that are "flaws" or "negative"- if she's emotional, she has to look silly so it's funny to the audience because nothing's off-putting like a woman just candidly showing emotion from what we've seen regarding the reaction to Snow White! (like I've seen people try to say that her whole monologue between "I am the worst daughter ever" and "THIS THE BEST DAY EVER" is coded in itself and super realistic but please be honest with yourselves and acknowledge that it's showcased in the film as part of her being zany and we're meant to laugh at her, especially when you take into account the way Flynn is responding to her). She's naive and sheltered and innocent, but guess what! She can save Flynn from the ruffians and thugs who were ready to stab them because they'll listen to her!! Yeah, she's the same Princess who's been trapped in a tower but GUESS WHAT. She can do karate with her hair! She can fling it around like a lasso and toss herself around huge landscapes and breathe under water for periods of time even though she's never left her tower! It's so funny to me that people are so openly misogynistic in their critiques of the classic princesses, when they were human characters. I think the princesses, starting with Rapunzel on, show us how ridiculous our society has gotten with the expectations they've placed on women. Princesses went from being realistic women whose stories were allegories for finding your place in the world and they took these characters and turned them into superheros? Rapunzel's magic hair and healing incantation, Elsa's ice powers, Moana's connection with the ocean. It's not enough for women to just be themselves anymore- in order to have any value, they literally have to be superhuman. And if you doubt this point at all, just look at the difference in reception and popularity between how the public and children perceive the character of Elsa (magical) and Anna (more human).

Back to what I was saying though, where Rapunzel has to be Jesus incarnate and all things to all people, Flynn is allowed to be a bad person. Imagine if the story was reversed and she was the thief that lied and stole and he was the sheltered good boy whose tower she snuck into and he was the one that beat her with a frying pan. It would never work and that shows how straight it is imo? Because honestly, say what you want about the original princesses, but their stories work if you flip the roles. Cinderella being a Princess whose Mother put on a ball so she could meet a suitor? Snow White searching through the forest for her lost love? Aurora working with the fairies to escape being entrapped by a fairy, to awaken her love with true love's kiss? Ariel and Eric essentially have the same storyline, but in reverse. Meanwhile with Rapunzel and Flynn, it's so uncomfortable...the way she hits him with a pan and threatens to keep doing it if he doesn't listen to her gives me the ick. BUT IT'S CUTE WHEN SHE DOES IT! Because she's a short petite straight woman! It's so annoying to me too to see straight ships, or even straight couples, where the men are essentially programmed to believe their wives always know better than them and they have to listen to them and, in order to keep peace in the household, they have to just agree with whatever their wife is saying because it just feels SO disingenuous on the men's part (the whole happy wife, happy life principal). This would never work in a non-straight dynamic because it's so unequal. And just like...again, the fact that a naive, sheltered, short woman is hitting a man- a dangerous criminal who never strikes back and just takes it and seems afraid of her is just soooo unrealistic and lowkey dangerous to depict to me? And the whole, how she's good and responsible and he's suave and charming and he's the bad boy that she turns good just UGH I hate everything about it, get me out of here!! Ultimately their compulsory hetero dynamic is "the cute quirky responsible good petite girl who's the embodiment of the "x3" face turns a bad guy good and she wears the pants in the relationship!!! being too much for me. Even the ending where he's joking that she asked him to marry her and she has to correct him from lying...no.

[persephoneflouwers]

I was letting it slide, but since Louis was seen with this cardigan…

I really can’t sleep on it. So there you have my 2.25 am rant on

Louis and the theory of pleasure in FITF era

This huge parallel post was born yesterday morning on the train to work after the first listening of Saturday (as this freaking out post shows). I don’t want to be boring, but also I fucking love everything about it so… I’m not even saying Louis really knows this! It’s just my interpretation of his lyrics given the background studies I have (I spent all my last year of high school on Leopardi). It’s also fun to analyse concepts like this. I think it’s the first time ever I find something lowkey pessimistic in Louis’ art. He’s usually very positive, that’s why I would have never imagined his lyrics could related to Leopardi’s, the most famous Italian poet (probably second only to Dante), basically known for his pessimistic and lowkey depressing philosophical view (he wasn’t for me, he was just a sad gay lover).

To give a bit of context, I don’t know if any of you is familiar with Schopenhauer, but there was this debate on how deep the influence of Leopardi in his theories (or the other way around?) was. The main concept in Leo philosophy was indeed pleasure. He wrote plenty about it in a book called Zibaldone (July 1820). Here’s some extracts if you want to have a read :)

“all the ... sources of unhappiness make us inevitably and essentially wretched because our nature makes it so, and cannot change”;

“Given that man never properly experiences true pleasure, it follows that he never feels he is alive for any length of time without experiencing displeasure or boredom. And as boredom itself is pain and displeasure, it follows that for as long as man feels life, he also feels displeasure and pain.”

The chain of reasoning behind what Leopardi calls his “theory of pleasure” is seductively simple. Every person, indeed every living thing, is endowed by nature with infinite self-love: to exist is the same thing as to love oneself. This is why every creature naturally seeks its own good, which is nothing more or less than pleasure. In all our actions, including those that appear selfless, we are in search of some kind of pleasure, even if it is only the pleasure of self-esteem. But while our desire for pleasure is infinite, our mental and physical organs are capable only of limited and temporary pleasures; and this mismatch between desire and capacity dooms us to perpetual dissatisfaction. There is no pleasure big or total enough to quench, even momentarily, our thirst for pleasure. But since the absence of pleasure is pain, it follows that we are always in pain, even when we might believe otherwise. And if life is nothing but an unbroken experience of pain, it would be better for every human being never to have been born. (X)

Essentially from his poetic we can extract a few take home messages:

Humankind has an innate tendency to pleasure

Pleasure is temporary and pretty often an illusion. Only the ability, proper to human brains, to simulate the realisation of pleasure in mortal forms (arts) give us the impression we find pleasure, but as Leo would say soon enough humans realise that “the waiting for pleasure is the pleasure it self”, cause pleasure as it is is only as volatile as the idea of it.

As pleasure is ghost (!!!!!!) you can’t properly meet, what’s very real is the pain surrounding it. Schopenhauer would say “life is a pendulum swinging from a moment of pain to another with little moments of pleasure in between”.

Hence pleasure IS pain. You can’t separate them and you can’t have one without the other.

How’s all of this relevant in Louis music though?

This all huge embarrassment of a rant clicked when I was listening to Saturdays. Specifically the lines:

We always used to say

“Saturdays take the pain away”

But nobody stays the same

My first reaction was to stare the guy in front of me on the train to the point he got scared and I got tears in my eyes. But why Saturdays among all the 7 days? It’s definitely a concept in Leo’s poetry. Leo wrote this poem called “il sabato del villaggio”, a classic. Here you can find the translation if you are into poetry, I 100% recommend!

Saturdays are the symbol of youth, dreams, hopes, the antsy feeling of celebration and the excitement of waiting for the good things to happen. On the contrary Sundays are the symbols of the harsh reality, the end of the party, the adulthood, the concrete fall of every illusion. Living in a Saturday haze means to leave in a perpetual moment of pleasing illusion, but that’s not possible because Sundays are gonna come sooner or later. I also enjoy so much the way Louis narrates stories through his songs. He’s so good at describing moments. That’s what basically happens in sabato del villaggio.

Anyway I don’t know what I wanted to say here. It’s 3.58 AM and I should get some sleep, but I was so excited about this! Again this is just a parallel and I’m not saying it’s a reference or whatever. Even if I think Louis knows some Italian (i mean why not, his husband does and they both love italy so why not) I wouldn’t go that far with the knowledge of the italian literature. I just love finding parallels with stuff I know and I’ve studied in other artists art. It’s what we study for after all <3

[anxiety-and-bees]

Things people have said and asked me after learning I am asexual, and why they are rude and acephobic.

"You just haven't found the right person yet."

Every aspec person has heard this more than once, and everyone saying this, is more or less referring to themself as the right person. Finding the right person will not change our sexuality and implying that it will, is acephobic.

"There's nothing to be afraid of."

We are not afraid of sex. We just don't feel sexual attraction, thus the urge and need for sex is little to none-existing.

"But do you masturbate?"

Asking asexual people if they masturbate is extremely rude and frankly, none of your business. Would you ask a straight or gay person you just met the same?

"You can't be ace because your boobs are so nice and big."

The size of our body parts doesn't dictate our sexuality. Saying someone can't be ace because they have big boobs or a big dick is invalidating, and putting physical appearances over personal feelings and experiences.

"You should come with me to a swinger club."

I really should not, and I don't need to explain to you why this is offensive. Just don't ask asexual people out to a swinger club.

"Why don't you like sex?"

Asexuality has nothing to do with not liking sex. Some aces do, some don't. Again, asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, not whether or not we like the sexual act itself.

"You aren't ace, you're just straight and making up an excuse to invade lgbtqia spaces."

This is simply not true. We are not sexually attracted to the opposite gender, so we are not heterosexual. This includes heteroromantic aces, because they are still not heterosexual. Aces are and will always be lgbtqia.

"You can't be intimate without sex!"

Of course you can. Having sex is only one type of intimacy. There are so many other ways you can be intimate with each other that doesn't revolve around sex, and having to explain this to you, is actually pretty sad.

"Sex is what separates us from the animals."

Most animals have sex, so this is not even an argument. This is also implying that aces aren't real human beings, which is an extremely hurtful thing to say. Just because we experience life differently than you, doesn't make us any less human.

"You're like a plant then!"

A lot of plants also have sex, so also not really a valid comparison, and once again, diminishing our human experience.

"Soooo.... Send me nudes? It's not sexual to you so you wouldn't mind me seeing your boobs."

This is not only acephobic, but also misogynistic. Of course I'm not going to send you nudes. Just because I'm asexual and doesn't find the human body sexually appealing, doesn't mean I want to fuel your boob obsession. Asexual is not synonymous with not caring who sees me naked. Stop being an objectifying asshole, and treat women and aces with respect.

"How can you fall in love if you're ace?"

Ace people can still experience romantic attraction and fall in love. Implying that we can't fall in love, is acephobic and diminishes romantic attraction and platonic relationships. Even aromantic asexuals can fall in love and want a relationship.

"Wait you're ace? What a waste."

Do I even need to tell you why this is extremely offensive and hurtful? This is once again putting someone's physical appearance over real feelings and lived experiences.

"Your previous partners must have been weak and pathetic in bed."

My previous partners have nothing to do with my lack of sexual attraction and you bringing them into the discussion, is in itself weak and pathetic. They didn't make me ace by being bad at sex, I was always ace. This also suggests that you probably think you can do better and "fix me" but sweaty, you can't. You really can't. No amount of good sex can ever make me any less asexual. It's not how it works.

And finally "I can make you change your mind/fix you/make you like it"

Often said by a man, thinking his dick is made of magic and can "cure" asexuality. Well, your dick isn't magic and we don't need to be fixed. We are not broken. We also can't change our minds, because it was never a choice to begin with. And if you have ever said to an ace person that you can "make them like it", you sound like a rapey creep and need to stop. Just stop.

All of these examples are things that real people have actually said to me. I'm perfectly okay with educating people and answering questions, but there are limits to what I'm willing to share. Some questions are just too rude for me to be polite about.

If you really want to learn about asexuality, you can do some research yourself instead of asking rude and invading questions. And if you absolutely have to ask questions, be polite and don't ask things you wouldn't ask a stranger while standing in line at the grocery store.

[buttercupbuck]

a little bit of reassurance wrt cocoa’s comments, just because i’ve seen a lot of sadness and hopelessness and frustration specifically wrt the buddie of it all (and before i launch into it, i just wanna say that beyond the buddie of it all, our stories and our existence are valid and beautiful and she can literally get fucked)

but just to premise it all, i promise that cocoa would Not think they were getting together unless they were like, explicitly making out or something. which…none of us expected in the christmas episode anyway. at most we’re expecting some healing wrt to the shooting, maybe some buckley-diaz family moments, maybe some sort of on-screen implication of the feeling of something more (a glance from across the room, an elf moment 2.0, etc). who knows, but whatever our expectations are, they’re not anything that cocoa would pick up on as being explicitly queer

homophobes like her interpret literally everything through the lens of straightness as the default, and they’ll cling to that until it’s literally impossible not to.

she was saying this shit back around 4.13 too, despite that episode being queer as fuck (and then followed up by 4.14, which was *also* incredibly queer). so, whatever. she can have her (very limited and very skewed) opinion, but it doesn’t say anything about the writers’ intentions or what we know to be true

at the end of the day, she has the script for 1 episode. she’s said that she doesn’t watch the show (she didn’t even know maddie was gone), and there’s no way that ryan murphy or any of the writers/executive producers clued her, a guest actress who is barely in two episodes a season, into the direction of the show. and again, she’s not gonna pick up on anything that isn’t over-the-top explicit in its queerness

this is also someone who thinks carla and eddie have a better chance of getting together than buck and eddie, so…let that say what it will about her credibility wrt the story the writers are trying to tell

on a separate note, the fact that she talked about ryan murphy’s involvement (her doubting he’d go that “far left” to make buck and eddie get together) instead of someone who idk���is *actually* involved with the show, in more than just name? says a lot about how little she knows about any of the higher up workings of the show. its also laughable that she claimed that ryan murphy, a gay man who has had queer characters in many of his works, including this one, wouldn’t go “so far left” like?? rm is biphobic and a lot of other things for sure, but acting like a gay man would see queer narratives as “far left” is really Something Else, and again, does nothing to boost her credibility imo

but yeah, at the end of the day, she is a guest actress and just that. this is a story that both the writers and the main cast members care deeply about, and i’m not gonna let the gross homophobia of some rando taint it. i love all y’all and your hurt and anger are super valid, but i’m just hoping i can offer some reassurance at least wrt this one aspect

[motsimages]

A bit about non-binary Spanish and thoughts on mistranslations and grammar

This will be long

(@thebusylilbee @spanishskulduggery may also like it)

I'm writing this post partially to inform people of how we do non-binary Spanish, and also to invite non-English speakers to think about their own languages. I will include thoughts on other languages I know and certain difficulties they face. Native English speakers are also welcome to reflect on the way it works in their language and on the influence their language has in the world.

First of all, I do not think English or the Internet as we know it is the creator of non-binary language, in any language. The first records of non-binary Spanish we have are from the 1970s, according to non binary linguist Ártemis López, so it is probably a solution found by the local community. For context, the Franco dictatorship finished in 1975, so writing down non-binary Spanish in the 70s was a bold move. Gay and trans people had been sent to labour camps during the dictatorship. I guess it also means that if there is written record from that time, it was orally used before.

As an aside, and only tangentially related, inclusive language (using "men and women" instead of "men", for instance) was widely used in Spanish legal (and other) documents in the middle ages and up to the 17th Century, so "new" solutions are actually something people had done before.

And that is for historical context on the matter.

Now, generally speaking, how does Spanish grammar work?

Spanish is a gendered language. Nouns and adjectives tend to mark the gender of the subjects and objects almost constantly. There are some nouns and adjective that never change and are the same regardless of gender, but the tendency of the language is to show, to mention the difference. This applies to people, animals and things, even abstract concepts have grammatical gender.

La casa es grande, bonita y amplia. - The house is big, pretty and large.

El coche es grande, bonito y amplio. - The car is big, pretty and large.

La tristeza - The sadness. El amor - The love.

Notice that "grande" doesn't change, but the other adjectives do change. That is generally how this works. There are lots of other examples for either, but it would make a super long post, so just a glimpse.

Also, Spanish has a lot of verbal conjugations and they all show the subject (who does what), so very often we don't need pronouns at all. Personal pronouns can be used or not in many occasions, so it is relatively easy to avoid using one. Possessive pronouns do not refer to the person, but to the object and often have no marker either (mi vs mío, for instance, where "mi" has no gender marker but "mío" does, and still is a reference to the owned object).

"This is her brother" in Spanish would be "Este es su hermano". Notice that in bold is what marks gender in English, and in italics what marks gender in Spanish. They do not relate to the same things, so each has its own problems and solutions.

This happens with many other languages in many interesting ways. In Russian, for instance, also a very gendered language where personal pronouns can drop in sentences, has declensions (so extra gender markers), but also the verbs in the past form have a gender marker so "He studied a lot" could be "[On] Mnogo utchil", where [On] can be dropped, but the gender is still there.

Why do we ask for pronouns then if they can disappear?

That is a mistranslation from English. People in English started using "my pronouns are she/her", the Internet is English, people saw it and liked it and copied it. There is a switch happening in many languages (including English) where "pronoun" is starting to mean "grammatical gender" and even "personal gender". In itself, it is not necessarily bad but it may make things unclear. This is a solution, but it has certain limitations.

First of all, real-life gender and grammatical gender may not match. In Russian, the word for "man" is grammatically feminine. As a noun, it has a feminine ending, but the adjectives attached to it will be masculine. In German, "young girl" is grammatically neutral.

In English, who prides itself in being "not very gendered", people mark gender for objects and people in creative ways. Most machines and vehicles are feminine and not "it" but a "she". And then men don't make buns or use eyeliner, do they?

As a matter of fact, "gender" itself started being used for people after being a technical term for speaking about grammar. But that is completely irrelevant now as its meaning has evolved and most people don't know this.

So "pronoun" which originally is a word used instead of a noun (to avoid repetition and help clarify meaning) is now becoming "grammatical and personal gender" in a very interesting turn of phrase. "My pronouns are _third person pronouns_" is interesting because I would never use third person pronouns for myself, to begin with. Other people use them about me. Again, irrelevant as nobody thinks about this or uses it this way and it has found a way to convey meaning and solve a problem.

In languages other than English, they translated (so to say, this is not translating) the sentence like that and became even more interesting. "Mis pronombres son ella" making one pronoun plural, because we only mark one pronoun in Spanish.

Now, here is the really interesting part of this: pronouns are the least of our problems in Spanish. Knowing someone's pronouns may not help at all. I once saw someone creating a character with the pronoun "ello" and it does not help me (or anyone) figure out what nouns and adjectives go with it. In English you mark two, sometimes three options and you're done (ze/zir, for neopronouns), but if I made up the pronoun "eller", you could only go so far as to deducing what is the ending for nouns and adjectives. And "Ello", that already exists as a word, btw, would create superconfusing endings as it will assimilate with the masculine ones.

In Spanish, it works as well to say "I'm a woman" or just list some adjectives. The pronoun is just the tip of the iceberg.

As @thebusylilbee asked "what do you do with nouns and adjectives?"

What do we do, indeed. We created the morpheme -e for the oral version. The written version sometimes uses -x too (I personally don't like it because it can't be read out loud, it is a symbolic activism that is not accessible so I find it not very useful). In English you may have seen the "latine/latinx" debate, well, there you have it, that is what we do, and we do it with everything.

It works well, it sounds natural (we already had many nouns and adjectives ending in -e for non-gendered words and for some gendered words too). Some people have trouble using it, sometimes it is confusing with unfrequent idioms but it works.

Some examples (notice some words do not change ever):

El chico es alto y trabajador. Quería ser tenista, pero al final se ha hecho cantante.

La chica es alta y trabajadora. Quería ser tenista, pero al final se ha hecho cantante.

Le chique es alte y trabajadore. Quería ser tenista, pero al final se ha hecho cantante.

Now, the problem with this is that it is relatively new and it is also seen as informal language, so to say. So organisms, institutions, or anything considered formal or serious does not use it. What they do then is either double all the language (men and women, using masculine and feminine all over the text with makes it long and hard to follow, and also, leaves out non binary people) or avoid gender markers altogether.

This second option requires a lot of creativity and an excellent knowledge of your native language, but it is very inclusive and actually quite used.

For instance, if in an English movie, there is a non binary character going by "they/them", the translator may choose to use non binary endings in -e, but maybe the producer and the distributor in Spain won't allow it because it is too new or something. So the translator may find a way around that avoiding gendered nouns and adjectives, saying things like "Qué cansancio tengo" instead of "Estoy muy cansad_".

(This, btw, is something some trans people do in Spain before coming out of the closet, they get used to making turns of phrases that avoid making gender explicit).

In other languages all this may be easier or harder, depending on how does the grammar itself works. In turn, this may make coming out of the closer or expressing oneself easier or harder.

In French, for instance, it is a mess. The language itself makes it very hard to find a unifying strategy that works everywhere. They found some very creative solutions (possessive pronouns like maon), but other problems remain unsolved, like what do you do with things that sound the same but are written differently and you cannot really change? Like professeur/e/_??? or préféré/e/_???? I've seen writing like professeur.e. to force a reflection about it and seems to be the accepted standard but orally, it all sounds the same regardless.

You can find more examples on how other languages solve these problems in this twitter thread.

I think all this is worth thinking about because, specially here on tumblr or the internet, everything is in English and comes mainly from the US, so we tend to think that what they do or what they say is what works. And it probably doesn't work, linguistically, culturally or personally anyways.

For instance, there is this Spanish person I follow in twitter who says her gender is "butch", so she goes by lesbian and uses feminine nouns and adjectives because that's what "lesbiana" is in Spanish. She is non binary and has spoken about her personal choice on this, on why her gender is "lesbian butch" and on why the grammatical gender she uses with herself follows that lead.

Interestingly too, often in tumblr I read advice like "ask your friends to use x pronoun in front of you to see how it feels" and in Spanish you don't necessarily need other people to speak about you to test the waters. You can just speak about yourself, describe yourself to you and see the feel of it. Of course it helps to hear it from other people too, but it is almost impossible in Spanish to describe yourself in one sentence and not use a gender marker, so you can explore this on your own. This would happen in many many other languages too.

So yeah, basically some thoughts on gender grammatical expression coming from Spanish. I can detail some strategies if someone wants. If you have doubts, let me know, I like speaking about these things.

[nerdygaymormon]

Questions I have about church

I get many people, people who’ve left church and those who are committed believers, who ask my why I, as a gay man, still attend church. 

I have questions I’d like to ask them.

Does your church, your religion, help you to be kinder, to be a better person? Does the community you belong to seek to help those in need, to lift those who aren’t as fortunate, to bring those on the outside towards the center? 

That’s what true religion is about. 

As we learn more about psychology, sexuality, science and more, does your church/religion incorporate these things and help provide moral guidance in how to live in this complex world? 

Or does your church fear knowledge and reject the reality of the world we live in and instead preach the certainty of the past which didn’t have our knowledge? Does your church cause you to view others who don’t believe exactly like you with suspicion and question their ‘righteousness’ or their ‘value’? Do you think God is so small that They reject other people who don’t belong to your church?

I know for many, they look at church teachings regarding queer people and shake their head. Bigotry and discrimination seem so at odds with the person they are striving to become and of the Jesus they read about in the Gospels. The bigotry of the past doesn’t fit with what we now know about sexual orientations and gender identities. This dichotomy leads many to leave their church.

We can celebrate what is good and beautiful and divine in others, yet so many prominent Christians seem to delight in belittling & excluding other human beings, is that how their religion & church teaches them to treat others?

God’s blessings go from from Abraham, to his family, to their tribe, to their nation, to a people spread across borders, and expands to include Gentiles. What is this trajectory teaching us? Are we look to expand who receives & qualifies for God’s blessings, or are we looking to limit blessings to a more exclusive group? 

My church has serious flaws, I acknowledge that. My church is shown to be harmful to the mental well-being of queer people and that makes me sad. I have respect and love for people who ask the questions above about my church and decide they don’t like the answers and seek to do better without it. I, myself, have to push back and reinterpret certain teachings and culture points in order for this church to work for me. I cling to the teachings that show a more liberal, inclusive, expansive God than the one the church seems to use to justify limiting power and blessings.

[tilynation]

SONGS ABOUT LILY ON LOVER

I’m back on the @whatiwillsay podcast (link) this week to discuss songs on Lover about Lily, as well as all things gay 🌈 on the album.

The Rolling Stone Article

Let’s start with Taylor’s Rolling Stone article about Lover in September 2019. The interview was conducted August 4-5, 2019. This was rumored to be the article she was planning to come out in. That did not happen, but she did describe the album as “very, very autobiographical” with “moments of extreme personal confession.” (Link) So the gay moments cannot be explained away here as “fiction” like with Folklore/Evermore. Importantly also, the breakup moments cannot be explained away here as fiction either. We know Taylor did not break up with Joe, so that leaves someone else, most likely Lily, since Karlie has been in a long-term relationship which included her marriage during the Lover era.

“Singing about something helps you express it in a way that feels more accurate . . . there is that weird conflict in being a confessional songwriter and then also having my life . . . be catapulted into this strange pop culture thing.”

Me! Out Now on Lesbian Visibility Day

Lesbian visibility day is April 26. Taylor did a countdown to this day on social media. She did an interview with Robin Roberts for the NFL Draft the day before where she got emotional. Read more about this here.

The Lover Diary

Next let’s look at Taylor’s diary which was published as part of Lover promo. It’s interesting to note for a diary published with the Lover album in 2019, there are no entries from 2018 or 2019. The only entry from 2017 is the final entry in the diary, January 3, 2017, where we learn that Taylor is essentially based in London as of that time and has been dating her London lover in secret for “three months,” i.e. early October 2016 (or possibly September 28). We know October-December 2016 has a lot of Taylor/Lily.

The City of Lover Concert

Interestingly, Taylor did not choose any of the upbeat “Joe” songs for this concert filmed on September 9, 2019 in Paris. “I Think He Knows,” “Paper Rings,” and “Cruel Summer” did not make the cut. The Lover album songs chosen for the concert (originally aired on ABC in May 2020 then sent to Hulu for a limited time) were the sad, heartfelt songs like “Cornelia Street,” “Death By a Thousand Cuts,” and “The Archer,” along with the “getting bitches and models” anthem “The Man” and the singles “ME!” and “You Need to Calm Down.” Taylor was papped with Joe in Paris a few months earlier while in the city for promo appearances. Joe wore a New York Yankees hat (as he sometimes does), potentially attempting a visual cue that he is the “NY” referenced in the songs.

Cornelia Street

While leased from June 2016 until April 2017, Taylor was only living in this three-story West Village townhouse from September to November 2016 while her Tribeca home was being renovated before she moved to London. Three months. So the “Cornelia Street” muse options are pretty limited given the time limitations and the fact that the song is about a new love during the time Taylor lived there. I feel like we’ve covered “Cornelia Street” and Lily’s connections to the townhouse and time period a lot on the blog already so I won’t fully rehash it here. Lily was there a lot, especially in October 2016, the month Taylor said in the Lover diary she started to date her London lover - posting Taylor’s cats, spending the night/being photographed the morning after by a fan, wearing the gold heart choker, filming a video on the roof, etc. The reference in the song to “autumn air” also helps place this song in the Autumn of 2016. “Sacred new beginnings that became my religion” help tie the song to False God and the NYC/West Village references in that song. Cornelia Street is located in the West Village.

Taylor’s performance of the song at the City of Lover concert in Paris was emotional, especially her words introducing the song - “You know, I use songs almost like photographs so that I can go back and remember a time and exactly what it was like to experience it . . . (starts to get a little choked up) . . . um . . . and . . . uh . . . this is definitely one of those nostalgic ones.” (Link)

She also mentioned that “Cornelia Street,” “for me is probably the one that hits my heart the most” at a fan event in Tokyo in November 2019 (a year from when she and Lily were last in Tokyo together). (Link) (around 21:00).

“Cornelia Street: Live from Paris,” released in 2020 before Folklore, was Taylor’s last single of the Lover era.

Is “Cornelia Street” about Karlie or Joe? Karlie was papped outside the townhouse a few times. She doesn’t fit the new relationship in Autumn 2016 that the song describes though. I don’t think Joe was ever officially spotted at the townhouse. I don’t think Joe was proven to be in NYC during the Cornelia Street months other than when he was in town for Billy Lynn promo (Bowery night). I also don’t think the breakup vibes of the song fit Joe.

Doesn’t “the city scream” Karlie’s name though? The NYC references in Lover (and afterwards) are a strong argument for Kaylors because the city is a better fit for Karlie than Lily or Joe. An argument can be made that the NYC references are about the start of Taylor’s relationship with Lily or Joe because that seems to be where both relationships got started in earnest. For the “Cornelia Street” song, I think Taylor is relating the beginning of the relationship to NYC since that’s where the relationship started. So I don’t think Karlie having more ties to NYC than Lily or Joe is necessarily dispositive here. Of the three of them, I think NYC fits Joe the least because Lily lived there for years and loved her East Village (“Dive bar on the East Side, where you at”) per many interviews. (Link)

The Man

This song was released on Lily’s birthday, January 27, 2020. Lily famously attended Leo’s gala in Saint Tropez in July 2016 before the Tily Autumn.

Taylor enjoyed herself singing “The Man” at the NPR Tiny Desk concert for Lover. Look at her body language when she sings she’d be “just like Leo in Saint Tropez!” (Link)

For the official “Storyline” on the Spotify Lover Enhanced Album, Taylor said, “I’ve wondered several times, ‘If I had been a man instead of a woman and had lived my life exactly the same way, what would people have said about me?’ It’s about perception. It’s not ‘what would I do if were a man?’ It’s about how I’d be seen if I did exactly the same stuff.” She said the same thing during her introduction of the song at the NPR Tiny Desk concert starting at 1:44 - link.

I’ve seen Kaylors say the song could be about Karlie because she’s a model too (the “getting bitches and models” line is probably about several women, as Taylor has probably been with several beyond just Karlie and Lily), or Karlie once attended a yacht thing Leo was at, or Leo dated Toni Garrn who some Kaylors think had a thing with Karlie. Given that the song was released on Lily’s birthday and Lily was papped extensively at Leo’s Saint Tropez gala a few months before Tily seemed to get started, Lily makes the most sense here to me.

The Archer

The track 5 song on the album seems to be a coming out song. Out lesbian artist Hayley Kiyoko played the role of the archer in the “You Need to Calm Down” music video. See here for more analysis - link.

During the City of Lover concert, Taylor introduced the song by saying it’s about “the feeling of falling in love and the feeling of fear that goes along with finding something really good in your life.”

Several lines in the song seem to have queer themes:

“I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.”

“I ride off alone, I never grew up, it’s getting so old.”

“I cut off my nose just to spite my face then I hate my reflection for years and years.”

“All of my heroes die all alone.”

She told Rolling Stone that the song shows “a different side of the album.”

London Boy

Per Lily’s interviews, she is a proper Londoner. Born in Hackney (“so please show me Hackney”), raised in Kentish Town (“End Game” music video), schooled at the Camden School for Girls, and discovered as a model at the Camden Market (“I enjoy walking Camden Market in the afternoon”). (Elle interview)

In this article, Lily talked about what she missed about London when she was living in NYC - Hampstead Heath (Taylor moved to Hampstead at the end of 2016. The Hampstead rental house is in the Rep magazine photos and was where Taylor had Lily, et al. over) (“like a Tennessee Stella McCartney on the Heath”), Primrose Hill (where Taylor currently rents a house), and pubs (“you can find me in the pub, we are watching rugby.”) (Link)

Lily told Grazia Daily that she took the Victoria’s Secret models to Bond Street in 2014 when the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was in London. Taylor performed at this show. Bond Street was specially closed just for the VS girls. “So please show me Hackney, doesn’t have to be Louis V up on Bond Street.” Lily mentioned her mom and 8 year-old brother (who live in England) coming to visit her on this trip. (Link)

See here for more analysis - link and link. This song seems like it’s half about Lily and half about Joe.

False God

“We were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us, remember how I’d fly to you?”

One of many London / New York references on the album.

“I’m New York City, I still do it for you, babe.”

Taylor is referring to herself as NYC here, not someone else being NYC who Taylor is flying to. This sets up Taylor being NYC and someone else being her London lover.

“They all warned us about times like this.”

Trying times like in “Renegade” and “Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince.”

This song includes an ode to the most common and commonly-associated wlw sex act - “Religion’s in your lips . . . the altar is my hips.”

Fun fact, Lily’s butterfly angel outfit for the 2014 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show that Taylor also performed at was part of the “Take Me to Church” segment.

So who is the “West Village” that Taylor refers to in the song? The West Village references can either be her Cornelia Street lover since the townhouse is in the West Village, or could be Karlie since she lived there before getting married. The song seems to be one of the series of “relationship on the rocks” songs on the Lover album.

It’s Nice to Have a Friend

There are a lot of Reputation album callbacks in this song.

“Video games, you pass me a note” (End Game / Delicate)

“Sleeping in tents”

Could be “I’m laughing with my lover, making forts under covers” from “Call It What You Want.”

“Light pink sky up on the roof”

Could be the roof from “King of My Heart” and “Cornelia Street.” The roof has been discussed a lot on the blog, including here and here.

“Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand”

Could be “touching my hand in the darkened room” from “Gorgeous.”

“Call my bluff, call you ‘babe’”

A card-playing reference like in “Cornelia Street” (“back when we were card sharks, playing games”) and “calling my bluff on my usual tricks” from “End Game.”

Kaylors have pointed out that Karlie gave an interview in 2014 about Taylor where she said “it’s good to have a friend” in New York. There are also potential references to the movie “Carol” in this song, especially the “lost my glove” line.

Paper Rings

This song could reference Joe, but I noticed recently some Lily possibilities here. As always, songs could be about more than one person.

“The wine is cold like the shoulder I gave you in the street, cat and mouse for a month or two or three.”

After the Vanity Fair party in LA in early 2016, Taylor and Lily seemed to go their separate ways but could have been playing cat and mouse because both were in LA a lot that Spring, including at Coachella, and Lily ended up in Nashville in June while Taylor was there and tagged her in a post about “Wildest Dreams.”

“ . . . the night that we first met, I stalked you on the internet” could be the night of the Fund Fair in 2015 because Taylor went online after the event and followed Lily on Twitter. Then “cat and mouse for a month, or two, or three” could be when Taylor had Lily walk the stage during the 1989 tour a few months later. But all in all, from a Tily perspective, 2016 fits the song better than 2015.

“I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this.”

This could easily fit Tily.

“In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool when you jumped in first, I went in too.”

Some fans think this refers to Joe because he mentioned his family jumping into the Hampstead Heath lake in an interview. The lake isn’t the same as a pool. Of course Joe could have jumped in the pool too. But from a Tily perspective, Lily was at Taylor’s London rental house in December 2016 (“in the winter”) where the icy outdoor pool was located.

We know the photo of Lily (and Cara and Suki) was taken in December 2016 because Taylor posted it shortly after New Year’s in January 2017 for Suki’s birthday. The earliest all four of them were in London at the same time appears to be December 2016 and this would match the time Taylor got the Hampstead rental in London and the “Call It What You Want” lyrics. Taylor’s birthday was also celebrated in London in December 2016 per the bakery who made the cake and Lily is in a photo from the birthday party at the house (see above). (Link)

Death By a Thousand Cuts

Taylor told the Elvis Duran show that this song was inspired by the movie “Someone Great.” Taylor mentioned this when Lover was released and the story got picked up by the media. (Billboard article). Taylor described the song and movie as “she has to end this relationship she didn’t want to end because she’s still in love with the person but they just grew apart. . . It’s just sad because it’s just realistic, time passed and now we’re different people and that is the most devastating thing.” If I had to guess, I’d say that Taylor wrote the song she wanted to write and went through something similar (remember the album is “very, very autobiographical” and “I’m a confessional songwriter”). She may have realized this movie had a similar-ish theme and it made a cute story because the director said she was inspired by 1989 and now Taylor was saying she was inspired by “Someone Great.” People who have seen the movie say DBATC is not about the movie at all because the storylines are very different.

“I looked through the windows of this love even though we boarded them up”

The windows boarded up motif from CIWYW and Renegade.

“If the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?”

Is this a reference to the “fresh page on the desk” in Cornelia Street? Or “don’t read the last page” from New Year’s Day? All three songs may potentially be tied to the same muse/relationship.

“Paper cuts sting from our paper thin plans”

Seems like a reference to “Paper Rings.” In DBATC it’s revealed that Taylor didn’t actually marry her someone special that she sung about in “Paper Rings” (“I would marry you with paper rings”).

Kaylors have pointed out that the line “death by a thousand cuts” is stated in the Evelyn Hugo book, but it’s a fairly common phrase. I recognize this could be a Karlie reference.

Afterglow

Another song on the album about a big fight.

“I blew things out of proportion, now you’re blue. Put you in jail for something you didn’t do.”

“I pinned your hands behind your back, thought I had a reason to attack, but no”

“Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves”

Is this a reference to the “Bad Blood” music video or just a common phrase that fits the fighting motif of the song?

“Why did I have to break what I love so much? It’s on your face, and I am to blame, I need to say hey, it’s all me, in my head I am the one who burned us down”

Past tense, they are already over and burnt down. Similar to “Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince” and the “Can’t Stop Loving You” cover.

“Meet me in the afterglow… This ultraviolet morning light below… Went off like sirens”

After the missiles went off in Renegade and there was an explosion. The sirens in Renegade start at 1:27 in the song (January 27 is Lily’s birthday) and are not anywhere else in the song.



Written in early 2019, the crack theory I mentioned on the pod is that when Taylor was known to be recording the album at Electric Lady Studios in NYC in January 2019 (per pap photos), Lily was papped the same day walking nearby with a friend. Lily was not papped often and she appeared to be pretty nondescript on the day in question to be noticed by the paps organically. Also paps aren’t just randomly walking around the streets, they are usually called, unless it’s a big event or a popular celeb hangout. I think the person Lily was walking with was her ex-bf Brett. Taylor may have been surprised to see this, hence a fight ensued. This could all be total crack but the timing fits the song and the January 2019 pap shots in NYC were the last time Taylor/Lily were photographed anywhere near each other. Lily wasn’t in NYC for a known modeling gig. My best guess is she was there with Taylor while Taylor was recording the album.

ME!

This is another song with upbeat production that makes it seem happy and positive but reveals a fracturing relationship.

In the making of a song part of the Miss Americana documentary, Taylor says . . .

“Gay pride makes me, me”

Cruel Summer

For analysis of this song, see here.

Taylor told Spotify for the Lover enhanced album the song is “about a doomed summer relationship.”

Lover

“I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want them all.”

Taylor said the album was written late 2018 through early 2019. In her video interview for the New York Times about the album, Taylor said this song was written one night in Nashville then recorded the next day at Electric Lady Studios in NYC. Taylor was papped at Electric Lady Studios in July 2018 and January 2019. Lily was papped near the studio on the same day in 2019. Some people also think this song was written in November 2018 just before the end of the Rep tour in Tokyo because of Taylor’s Instagram post at the time with the “Lover” heart sign/paint on her cheek and her shirt with the cat on the left side (see below). CBS Sunday Morning confirmed the first photo below was from when Taylor was recording the song in NYC. (Link) Lily was papped in NYC at the same time (November 2018) before they both left for Tokyo at the end of the Rep tour. Lily liked Taylor’s Instagram post, the one and only post Lily liked in 2018.

The “three summers” in question are likely 2016-2018 and fit Lily or Joe better than Karlie here whose summers would have started in 2014.

“My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue.”

Taylor’s heart was borrowed to Joe and Lily was sad about it? Could explain a lot of things. Taylor’s heart was borrowed to Lily and Joe or Karlie was sad about it? Taylor’s heart was borrowed to Karlie in 2018 (Nashville Rep tour?) and Lily was sad about it? Lots of possibilities here for what is otherwise a fairly generic song.

“At every table, I’ll save you a seat”

This lyric always reminds me of the scene in Miss Americana where Taylor has Abigail over for dinner and has seat at the table left open with a British flag 🇬🇧 on it.

Is “We could let our friends crash in the living room this is our place, we make the call” a reference to the Kaylor blind item about Karlie inviting friends over to Taylor’s apartment?

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

Taylor told Spotify that this song is about “finding someone who cares about you through all the noise.” Set in a metaphorical high school like “Betty,” I think this song relates to Taylor in 2016 and can be seen as the aftermath of “Call It What You Want.” The upbeat production masks a sad breakup song and fits the Tily timeline and situation well. For full analysis of this song, see here.

“American stories burning before me”

Taylor told Rolling Stone, “it’s also the idea of people who live in America, who just want to live their lives, make a living, have a family, love who they love (🌈), and watching those people lose their rights, or watching those people feel not at home in their home.” Taylor told Rolling Stone the song was written “a couple months after midterm elections” (which were held in early November 2018), so January-ish 2019.

“It’s you and me, there’s nothing like this, Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince”

The “you” can be seen as “Miss Americana” and “me” can be seen as “The Heartbreak Prince.” Could Karlie be Miss Americana and Taylor be the Heartbreak Prince? It’s possible. Could Taylor be both Miss Americana (like her Netflix documentary title) and the Heartbreak Prince? It’s possible, with “Miss Americana” being who she is to the public and “The Heartbreak Prince” being her true self. Could Taylor be “Miss Americana” and Lily be “The Heartbreak Prince” or Taylor is both since she ultimately was the “The Heartbreak Prince” to Lily given when the song was written? The connection to Lily here is possible considering the rest of the song lyrics, especially the references to the person who ran away with Taylor.

The song seems to start in 2016 (references to the 2016 election and “bad guys” like Trump and Kanye), with Taylor running away with her someone special (“Call It What You Want”) and ultimately asking that person to come back home after their breakup.

“Voted most likely to run away with you,” “leave with my head hung, you are the only one who seems to care,” “no cameras catch my muffled cries . . . and now the storm is coming (“windows boarded up after the storm” from CIWYW and Renegade). More of the running away theme. Taylor ran away to London with her London lover at the end of 2016.

“The whole school is rolling fake dice, you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes”

Is this reference to rolling the dice similar to “Cruel Summer” where the “devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes?” Is Lily the “Angel” who rolled their eyes when Taylor rolled the dice? The devil rolling the dice is female per the board game in the “Lover” music video.

“I don’t want you to go, I don’t really wanna fight ‘cause nobody’s going to win, I think you should come home.”

This sounds very much like “Afterglow.” Taylor is trying to get the person who is leaving or already left (“Cornelia Street”) to come home. These lyrics are repeated four times throughout the song, the last time followed by “And I’ll never let you go ‘cause I know this is a fight that someday we’re gonna win,” which sounds a lot like what Taylor said about Betty and James in the Long Pond Studio Sessions and the introduction to the “Can’t Stop Loving You” cover performed during Lover era. These sad breakup lyrics are masked in the song by the high school cheerleading chant “Go, Fight, Win!” tying the song again to the metaphorical high school.

“I just thought you should know, you should know” is repeated twice in different parts of the song. This sounds like “I just wanted you to know” from “This Is Me Trying.” TIMT could easily be a post-breakup Tily song.

Did Taylor and Karlie go into hiding after the 2016 election or run away together? I don’t think they did, especially not together. The going into hiding / running away together lyrics in the song match Lily better based on Lily moving back to London after Thanksgiving 2016.

You Need to Calm Down

Taylor told Rolling Stone about the song, “‘You Need to Calm Down’ can make sense within the theme of the album (Lover versus Daylight) - one of the things it addresses is how certain people are not allowed to live their lives without discrimination just based on who they love.”

The music video had heavy queer imagery, including Taylor herself with bi-pride hair, gay pride rings, and living in the gay community, among other things.

Promo imagery for the song show two snakes mating then turning into butterflies. I’ve pointed out several times on the blog how Taylor and Lily were the two snakes throughout the Rep era who turned into the butterflies.

Daylight

Taylor played this song on the piano at her Nashville home for CBS Sunday Morning in August 2019. (Link) She told the interviewer that she has “not serenaded anyone in a while” and seemed introspective about that. This is interesting considering she was publicly in a relationship with Joe for three years by that point. Is this evidence that the Tily relationship was over for a while by August 2019? I think so.

Taylor told Rolling Stone that “Daylight” was almost the title of the album, but she thought “it might be a little bit too sentimental” and “way too on-the-nose.” Is this evidence that the Lover era was supposed to include coming out and stepping into the daylight? “I was kind of in my head referring to the album as Daylight for a while.”

Outro - more proof the song is about coming out.

“I want to be known for what I love, not what I’m afraid of, not what haunts me at night. I feel like you are what you love.”

“Back and forth from New York sneaking in your bed.”

The “you” is not New York. The “you” here is most likely London. Is Karlie NY and Lily or Joe is London? Is Lily NY and Joe is London? There are multiple possibilities here. Given the song and album as a whole, and given the timeframe it was written, Karlie being NY and Lily being London makes the most sense to me.

“So many lines I’ve crossed unforgiven.”

Taylor told Rolling Stone about this line, “Sometimes there are people that were in your life and they’re not anymore - and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t fix it, you can’t change it . . . a lot of times you make the wrong call, make the wrong decision. Say the wrong thing. Hurt people, even if you didn’t mean to. You don’t really know how to fix all of that.” This seems similar to the imagery in “Afterglow,” the fight in “ME!,” and later on “This Is Me Trying” with “my words shoot to kill when I’m mad, I have a lot of regrets about that.”

While I can see this song being about Joe and a potential calming presence he is in Taylor’s life, I think the “golden” reference here is Lily, like it was on the Rep album, and the daylight is Taylor’s potential coming out.

Kaylors point out that Taylor has called Karlie “sunshine” (in addition to posting the same thing about Martha and others) and that Kaylor (and Halston Sage, etc.) wore gold tattoos for Drake’s birthday party in 2016. To me the “golden” and “golden tattoo” references fit Lily better because Taylor wore the golden heart choker tattoo in the “Delicate” making of video, as well as on her painting date night with Lily (birthday post) and at one of the Bowery nights in 2016. Lily was at both Bowery Nights and was at each location Taylor went to during those nights, including Cornelia Street (link), while Karlie was only present for the Eliot Sumner concert. Joe was only present at Lovers of Today. Lily also wore the golden heart choker for Halloween at Cornelia Street. And, of course, Lily has an actual tattoo of the word “golden” in Latin on her wrist.

I think the subject of “Daylight” is a woman because of the “maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down” lyric and reference. “Women Who Run With Wolves” is a best-selling book and popular amongst celebrities. “Refused to settle down” sounds more like Lily than Karlie who did settle down (got engaged/married) during the Lover era.