#in your pants

[wack-ashimself]

Is that why they call in 'it love' because it is 'in your pants'? -resident alien s3, e4 (Uncancel this show!!!)

[supercumi]

Elle défait ta ceinture alors que tu essaies de te retenir de toute tes forces mais c est trop tard tu sent le sperme monté et tu éclabousse tout le devant de ton jean

La femme que tu as rencontré sur Tinder éclate de rire avant de prendre ton désordre en photo et partir

T as bien tenter de la rattraper mais tes jambes ton lâchés

[supercumi]

Are you a perverted submissive sissy

I don't want to dress like a woman or anything like that. but become prejac and worn in a cage yes

[valtsv]

you will never get true fashion inspiration from pinterest or tiktok. the most inspired you'll ever be to dress a certain way is when you spot a stranger on public transport in what is objectively the coolest most stylish outfit ever worn by a human being. you will never see them again but that look will haunt your dreams.

[gh0sdae]

On how they still think curly tried to commit with the crash:

[lizleeships]

...All this work for a hentai joke. I'm terribly sorry.

I also consulted my jury of Patrons about whether or not Dean would say "Calm your tits". I'm not convinced he would, but also not convinced he wouldn't. :D

(Don't repost, but reblogs are very welcome)

__________________

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[scleroticstatue]

I fundamentally disagree with Thomas Jefferson and Mark Twain. "Never use two words when one will do," "don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do," I'm going to turn a single sentence into an essay and it's going to cost five hundred dollars per word because those are the right words to get across what I mean without ambiguity and misunderstanding, thankyouverymuch

[crplpunkklavier]

hey after kristoph gavin planted atroquinine in a kid's favorite nailpolish, while he was spending seven long agonizing years waiting for the kid to actually poison herself, how badly do you think he pissed his dumb little blue pants when 6 years in his brother presumably out of nowhere published a song titled "atroquinine my love" and made the whole world sing it for a little while

[teaboot]

Acab applies to security guards too.

Okay, so there's two basic kinds of security: public and private

Public security is for government employees like police

Private security is stuff like security guards, bodyguards, and bouncers

As a security guard, you need to pass different licensing exams for different privileges. Someone who might handcuff people needs a license to carry handcuffs- someone who might need to carry a weapon needs a license for that weapon.

I passed my BST exam something like five years ago and stopped there, so I am allowed to carry: A radio

And as private security, again, there are two basic kinds: in-house and contract

Contract security means a company or a person or a location like a park can pay my boss' boss money to send powerless scarecrows in uniforms to walk around and provide what is called "visible presence"

which is, essentially, a life-size cardboard cutout of a guy wearing the classic Spirit Halloween costume, "Black Slacks Law Professional" in size L

So if the entire chain of authority, from a toddler at the mall food court all the way up to whoever happens to have access to the majority of the planet's nukes at this time, you should know that someone like me currently ranks somewhere very slightly above Janitor, but still definitely below Cinnabon Assistant Manager

Which means that if I chose to go rogue and use my powers for evil TOMORROW, I would maybe manage to punch a Cinnabon employee and shoplift half a dozen chocolate bars from the gift shop before I am fired and in jail being sued off my ass with my licenses revoked for life, unable to leave the country or apply for a job at Walmart with my new shiny criminal record

Security guards and mall cops ain't police. We're dressed like police so you don't try and do something illegal in the area, but the vast majority of us can't actually do anything.

Calm down

[d469son-boizbuttsnjeans2]

[morganbritton132]

Eddie, posting to Tiktok: Why does Steve do a couples costume with his best friend and not me? Why don’t we do group costumes? Great questions.

Eddie: I married a man that got dumped so hard at a Halloween party that it changed the trajectory of his life.

Eddie: At that party? Wore a couples costume so he vowed never to wear a matching costume with the person he was dating. Which we’re not dating so-

Steve: We date! We go on dates. That’s dating!

Eddie: We’re married. I don’t think us dressing up as Bill and Ted is going to destroy a thirty year relationship.

Steve: You don’t know that.

Eddie, heavy sigh and then cheerful: Anyways, it works out better for me. Getting dumped on this day has made him incredibly horny every Halloween since.

Steve:

Steve: Don’t say that

Eddie: Notice how he didn’t say it wasn’t tr-

*video ends because Steve threw a pillow at Eddie and he dropped his phone in between the bed frame and the wall*

[carlyraejepsans]

sleebover

[prezs]

this is still the funniest way to start a romance in a video game possibly ever

[supercumi]

Attend vas y doucement

Non nghhh

[jupiterjelliez]

do yall fw pressure

[gh0sdae]

there's no time to explain

after seeing the possuminnit post, I got the community post on youtube as well :)