#in which treat is just ignoring when stede and ed call for any of them and hiding below deck with some rum and snacks

[izzy-b-hands]

"We didn't leave it like that," Stede sighed, and peered around what was left of the ship. "Does anyone recall seeing anything happen to it as we left?"

A round of befuddled and slightly frustrated glances replied.

"So that's a no," he hesitated. "Ed, any ideas? What have you done, when this has happened before?"

Ed shook his head. "Mate, I don't entirely understand what happened. We left a fully intact ship, floating, normal ship shit, and now-"

Ed turned his gaze to the ship.

Or rather, the board left floating that remained. The only sign it was from their vessel was the color of paint on it.

"Maybe a prank?" Stede asked. "And whoever did it has the rest of the ship, hidden."

"That would be a difficult prank," Ed snorted. "And what if they came back before you were done, what, dismantling someone's ship board by board?"

"Well, what do you think it was then? A ship targeting monsoon that only effects one ship?!"

"I just said-"

"It's over there," Jim interrupted, pointing down the shoreline. "I think we forgot to drop anchor."

"The board fell off the ship," Stede started.

"When it was floating away," Ed finished, nodding slowly. "That makes more sense."

"Makes a lot more sense," Stede agreed. "Alright then, let's run before she gets ahead of us! Whoever is closest first, hop on and drop anchor!"

"This can't keep happening," Olu sighed to Jim as they took the lead towards the still moving ship. "It's starting to get embarrassing."

"At least it didn't hit any-"

Jim paused, eyes screwed shut at the echo of a loud wooden crunching sound. "It hit the reef."

"We can probably stop running now."

"Yup."

Stede rushed past them. "At least it isn't going anywhere else now!"

[choco-cherry-chunk]

Thinking a lot about OFMD Steddyhands mpreg bullshit as usual but in such a tragic way because I love drama and horror and as much as I post kink and sweetness on this blog, I’m a horror and literary writer in my regular life lol. I want Izzy getting knocked up super young, prior to ever knowing Ed or piracy or anything of the like. His life wasn’t beautiful or soft or good, but he’s still a romantic at heart - call it the whimsy of youth or the impact of his mother, who knows? And when the owner of the boarding house he’s staying in knocks him up, the capital-R Romantic in him builds up a fantasy. That this man has fallen in love with him, that they will have a family, that they will live a simple and tender life together. But that’s just not how things work. Near the end of his second trimester, something happens. Some dockworkers, pirates, whoever, go after him. Who could say why? Later, there’s some talk that they were hired by the boarding house owner’s wife. But it ultimately doesn’t matter. His child never takes a breath and he is forced to bury him alone. Within a week, he’s out at sea, eventually to meet Ed and a crew of his own.

But beyond the past, I’m thinking of how such a reveal would exist with the main three. For Izzy, I feel like - because of what’s written above and the personal head canon that he’s not exactly careful during sex and has tended to either miscarry or abort conceptions with random pirates, he knows the signs of having gotten pregnant by his men. But he figures it is bound to be gone soon enough and does nothing. But there are little things. Changes he makes to care more for this possibility. Because while he will deny it to his last breath, the crew of The Revenge has invited that small capital-R Romantic back to him and maybe he does want a child, wants that softness with Ed and Stede, though he doesn’t know the first thing about such an existence.

For Ed, he would be caught in the middle. On one hand, I think he would fear becoming his father. Not just that he would treat a child in the manner that his father had, but that the title alone is enough to build resentment. That being called “Dad” is almost like a curse, having never known anyone to have a positive connection to that title in his life. He wants to play possum and pretend it isn’t happening, pointedly ignoring any changes that may need to be considered for their future. On the other hand, I also think he would only look at the surface level of the pregnancy and be excited. A baby is a child and children are entertaining. They’re weird and funny and different. He would see the baby to come almost as a commodity or toy, though not intentionally and would not see his views as that, but it is true. Kind of like the inn, he sees this future as a game, and is ready to take on the role (a word chosen very specifically) as father.

For Stede, as much as I love his sweetness and tender nature, I think it would be a mask that is slipping in this context. There is an artist on Twitter that did this beautiful comic (as soon as I can find it, I will link it and the artist here) about Ed and Stede’s time on the island building their inn, during which Ed is trans and gets pregnant, and he continues to have nightmares about Izzy’s death. All the while, Stede is clearly restless, happy to have Ed but not inclined to his return to land and monotony. He said himself that he isn’t meant for domesticity. And I know that the end of the show was rushed for reasons, but I wish Stede and Ed’s uncertainty of their future had been stretched; Stede’s pirating career building as Ed’s is coming to an end is fascinating. But to throw in a baby (and thus a clock) is all the more chaotic. Stede so often takes on this role of lightness and care, but he left his family for a reason. He loves them, but he didn’t want them. And now, the same thing he didn’t want has essentially followed him. How can thinks work out for the three of them? AUGH, I JUST WANT TO UNPACK THIS CHAOS!!

[triflesandparsnips]

Um. Izzy WAS rude first in that scene, though. The first thing he says isn't "still it's a nice room", it's "I was thinking what a complete misuse of space this is" or some such Badminton bullshit--and that's deliberate. He's deliberately being paralleled with Badminton with that line. Fucking piece of shit Izzy apologist bullshit.

My darling! My peach! Thank you for pointing out the true meaning of this scene, which, obviously, is the historical art of

COURTSHIP THROUGH CONVERSATION

As you and I both know well, dear heart, a popular publishing genre of the time was SAMPLE DIALOGUES between a wooing lover and a coy mistress -- as seen here, and here, and here, among many other places, several of which also include Etchings of a Curious Nature that I may only Hint At ere I too quickly tax your Gentle Sensibilities.

But leaving that aside, my darling moon and stars and small heavenly bodies that have been previously miscategorized as planets but that I nevertheless hold sacred in my heart-- there is a delightful subset of courtly conversation that, quite clearly, and as demonstrated by the canon and by your own dear letter, applies not only to our own tentative trembling tryst but also to that of Stede and Izzy!

I had not considered the matter before now, but your sly missive, so artful in its gentle tease and saucy in its declarations, reminded me strongly of what the sages called Mock-Complements, or Drolling-Complements. That is to say, when two would-be lovers, attempting to enter into a courtship but hesitant to appear too forward, treat their conversation with one another as if enemies rather than the hot-blooded lovers that they so dearly wish to be.

And so, just as your dear note falls between those lines, so too does that conversation between Stede and Izzy! For as you well know, since you most definitely reviewed the scene so as to ensure utmost accuracy in your thoughts and feelings before penning your note of Deep Romantic Interest as to My Person, behold:

Between a Roguish Sailor and a Fallen Gentleman. The Rogue, all courtesy How goes the fuckery? The Gentleman, his sharp reply What are you doing in here?

My God! What flirtatious delight! What promise of future connubial bliss! Look how clearly the Gentleman attempts to indicate the mode by which he wishes to be wooed! No sweet embrace nor honeyed words for him-- he seeks the speedy wit of a clever lover, pushing away with one hand while beckoning with the other, all Beatrice to his would-be Benedick. See how very intentionally Stede behaves rudely first, because gosh, protagonists can very much be assholes in their own right regardless of the motivations of any nearby antagonists who happen to be sharing screen time with them and for whom perhaps the audience is overly concerned with demonizing to the point of willfully ignoring the very literal previous dang line of dialogue--

Which, of course, you know! Because you too studied this scene with care and attention, and so, with your letter, wished to draw my notice to the deeper meaning of this clearly loving moment. My thanks, dear Sibyl, sweet Relevator of Forbidden Love, for urging forth this understanding.

And yet! A sad conclusion is simultaneously revealed. The tragedy of this bathic pairing is that while Stede has studied the modes and methods by which he can indicate his interest, Izzy has not had as thorough an education in the Artful Ways of Wooing. Rather than a fanciful rejoinder, he instead mirrors Stede's gambit-- a noble attempt at meeting his would-be paramour halfway, but sadly, only a Recipe for Missed Meanings. Our sad Izzy's reply would seem to parry the Gentleman's overture, rather than enjoin it-- and leads them, thus, to the Comedy of Errors wherein now they find their love, and also Ed is around here somewhere.

But never fear, my pocket pumpkin of pleasant fancies-- I will not make this mistake! Just as you so kindly dropped your handkerchief of Rather Ridiculous and Perhaps a Touch Juvenile Displays of Media Illiteracy before me in hopes that I might take it up for you, so too shall I offer it back again, perfumed with the hopes, dreams, and delights of our no-doubt felicitous and quite impending nuptials.

[cupidsnumberonehater]

Draft but I thought I'd post this before season two comes out and rots my brain even more. Also this was made with a sort've "everything's figured out and everything's fine" sort of vibe in mind so 🤷

My friend and I somehow got onto the topic of what animals the crew members would adopt if they could but it ended up just being us planning a DogDad!Izzy AU

I drew things for it

We are ignoring any historical shit on the breed we chose bc we think it's a perfect fit so yk

Made excuses for why Ed would break his no pets policy

Made excuses for why Izzy would break the no pets policy

The dog's name is Mutt bc that's all Izzy calls him and by the time the crew found out and wanted to try calling him different names, the dog was kinda attached to the name Mutt so..

He's a rottweiler/lab mix (for now). For historical sake, if you want, we can just say a rottie mix. Labs weren't bred til the 1800s according to a very shallow google search.

Doodles!!

Comic!!

Notes!! Headcanons!! Whatever have you!!

Izzy didn't plan on asking Ed to keep him, or keeping him at all actually. Mutt followed him, and probably snuck aboard. We thought it'd be funny if Stede and Olu found him since they probably wouldn't know about the whole "no pets policy" thing Ed has. They bring him to Ed and are like "hey look" and Ed's like "wtf, get him off the ship" but somehow, Mutt runs off, finds Izzy and vavoom or something.

Loving the idea that Ed would be convinced that Mutt is a pure bred killer, which is why he allowed him to stay, only to watch him smother some of the crew with kisses and cuddle every fucking day

Izzy and Ed both are literally perfect for the "dad who said no then became the dog's best friend" thing just thought I'd point that out

Wee John or someone sewing him up a bandana so he "looks like a scary pirate dog" <3

Frenchie is excited bc dogs chase cats away, but Mutt just makes friends with other animals so..

The only one who's able to actually ignore the puppy eyes tactic is Buttons. It just feels correct. Izzy and Ed almost can. Almost.

Mutt has to wait outside Jackie's bar when they're there. One of the crew always stays with him.

Really liking the idea of "dog" being a negative term from Izzy whilst "mutt" is somehow more positive so the name wasn't bad in his eyes

Normally sleeps besides Izzy's bed, since Izzy was the first one he got attached to and kinda the whole point of this AU of sorts, but sometimes he sleeps with the crew or Stede. Izzy won't let him stay with Ed alone quite yet, juuuust in case.

Izzy lets him sleep on the end of his bed, most of the crew lets him sleep curled up with them, and Stede doesn't like to let him sleep in his bed for fear of fleas and dirt and etc etc, but also there's no way in hell that man can say no to puppy eyes (I mean look at s1 Ed)

Izzy (maybe partnered up with Stede) tries to train Mutt well, but unfortunately Frenchie and Roach like to "untrain" him in a way, or train him in ways that aren't so Izzy-approved.

Whilst Stede reads to the crew, Izzy reads/tells stories to Mutt.

Roach learning to make dog-healthy treats for him!

It takes a while for Mutt and Ed to warm up to each other but once they do, they're homies. Ed still treats him like he can be a beast but learns not to push anything. "Go fucking kill that crab over there and I'll have Roach make you something real special." "No? Alright fine. No treat for you. Just regular food..maybe a singular treat for your effort."

Lucius turning Mutt into a little model, Wee John and them making him different little clothes to wear for said modelling, and somehow they convince Izzy to sit long enough to be sketched with him once and probably only once. Fang likes to sit and hold him whilst being doodled.

Jim and Mutt having little chats after raids and stuff. "Captain says your a born killer. Same." Mutt can't answer but they know he's listening as much as he can.

That said, Mutt is 100% most of them's personal therapist. He doesn't understand human problems nor has the ability to give them advice, but it's nice to talk about things anyway. My friend is a massive Stede fan so ofc they had to offer up Stede crying but hugging Mutt so it ends up being a good kinda cry. And honestly yeah I dig it.

Izzy's 100% worried that the "no pets policy" is gonna suddenly come back and likes it best when Mutt stays with him bc of it. This is a feel good AU, obviously, but angstwise, Mutt could totally be used against Izzy and the crew.

Fang definitely teared up finding out Mutt was staying, but got attached immediately and 100% wants to help Izzy protect Mutt.

For some reason, Stede gives off "has a pretty bad dog hair allergy, would hug a dog anyway" vibes, so that's something we like to joke about. "Your face is a bit puffy there, Bonnet." "Oh yeah, I'm terribly allergic to canines." "You what?" "I said I'm terribl-" "Get your face out of his fucking fur you absolute twat!"

Mutt likes to roll in mud when on land and some of the crew probably think "why not join him" every single time. Who? Idk. But some of them.

Mutt joining in on the fuckeries. Somehow.

The Swede singing and Mutt howling with him.

Frenchie singing and Mutt howling with him.

Izzy yelling at someone and Mutt barking/growing with him.

For the most part Mutt is an absolute sweetheart, but Izzy is his dad, and he's a fast learner. 100% acts all vicious whenever Izzy's feeling aggressive (but it's mostly an act and he just kinda idly stands by Izzy like "yeah I'm tough shit too" then goes back to acting like a puppy the moment Izzy shuts up).

Okay that's all for now, good night, AND SEE YAH WHEN SEASON TWO AIRS!

[biceratops7]

Something we don’t talk about enough:

I see lots of people who think Izzy is in love with Blackbeard, which btw can absolutely still be true, but let’s not ignore what Izzy already is to Ed… an abusive friend.

Um... no you didn’t.

In one of the very first scenes we see them interact, Izzy deliberately lies to him. Why? What is the point of telling him that Stede made those comments with full knowledge of who he was referring to? The point is that now Ed has a reason to “teach him a lesson.” Izzy doesn’t actually care why Ed wants to meet Stede, he just cares that it’s done in an acceptable way by his standards (aka violently). With Ed’s current state, Izzy is unsure he’s going to behave the way he wants him to. So he immediately uses subtle manipulation just in case, something that Ed would likely never notice.

We also see Izzy on several occasions try to manipulate Ed into distancing himself from any other person he could be close to, but also pulling back when Ed starts to catch on. When Ed starts visibly connecting with Stede, Izzy makes it pretty clear that he sees this as unacceptable and threatens abandonment… but then Ed claims that he’s actually planning to kill Stede. And suddenly Ed’s “still got it.” Abusers are really good at knowing when to threaten and when to hold back.

This same idea is applied when Stede is about to be shot by the firing squad. This is possibly the only time Izzy seems to speak to Ed with kindness… and is also possibly the most diabolical we see him.

A trademark of any abusive relationship is the feeling of isolation, that the world has fallen and they are the only ones either willing or able to shelter you from it no matter how they treat you. Izzy’s ensuring this by first of all, literally getting rid of the actual healthy relationship in Ed’s life, and second, swooping in and presenting himself as the only available alternative. He speaks kindly to Ed and reframes his abusive behavior as “loyalty to his captain”, aka “I hurt you because I love you.”

He even calls him Edward, something he’s been increasingly more and more against but is now doing it with such ease that Ed may doubt himself. “Was Izzy actually that much of an asshole about it before? Is he willing to do better? Was I just being a paranoid?”

Izzy essentially tries to love bomb Ed in this scene. Instead Ed punches him in the face and then successfully rescues his very kind and respectful boyfriend. Good for him 😂

But speaking of boyfriends… alright let’s talk about that scene.

Aside from “telling someone they should be dead and then calling them a slur” possibly winning a medal for worst way to treat a depressed person ever, this is where we get to see that all those manipulation tactics actually worked. If Izzy loves him enough to “tell the truth” no matter how hurtful or humiliating, then that means actual demonstrations of love are potential lies. After all, the first person to successfully show Ed that softness can come without a price has just betrayed his trust in a big way.

Is Ed’s vulnerability really being rewarded? Since when did it ever get be that simple? Are his real friends actually being kind… or is this passive aggression? A history of abuse puts people in a place where they are never sure. After all, pirates don’t have friends. They’re just in various stages of fucking each other over.

Abusive friends are almost never portrayed in media and I think they really should be. Bad friendships can be just as damaging and difficult to overcome as bad romantic and familial relationships. That is why I think it’s important for Izzy to remain a villain, and for Ed to eventually learn to see through him and either cast him out or demand better treatment. Because no one owes an abuser redemption, even if by virtue of the relationship people think you just “let it happen.”