#in which the 19 year old girl literally sacrificed her entire life and family for a bloke she snogged once

[sometimesraven]

anyway i'm just gonna drop this here and continue my block-on-sight spree, I've said what I need to.

[queentaylormademedoit]

How Scott Borchetta’s Statement ‘Exposing’ Taylor Swift Actually Proves Her Point Completely

First, here is Taylor Swift’s open letter:

https://taylorswift.tumblr.com/post/185958366550/for-years-i-asked-pleaded-for-a-chance-to-own-my (if the link is being weird you can find it on her tumblr)

And here is the link to Scott Borchetta’s responding statement:

https://t.co/OqGI4GoN3P

(If the link is being weird you can find it on his twitter)

Think he just revealed shocking information that Swift is an evil, crazy, lying woman who just wants to make ~drama~ for no reason? Think again. Let’s break down his statement piece by piece from the beginning.

To refute Borchetta’s misleading opening statements, Taylor Swift’s father was NOT on the shareholders phone calls because NDAs would not have allowed him to communicate any information to his daughter. Instead 13 Management Lawyer Jay Shaudies and Big Machine LLC Shareholder Frank Bell were on the call to represent her side. The hilarious thing is that Borchetta tries to call into question Taylor’s statement that she “woke up to the news (of the sale to Scooter Braun) with the rest of the world” by saying he thinks it is “possible” that they “didn’t say anything to Taylor over the prior 5 days” and “possible” that she “might not have seen” his text, but that he “truly doubts she woke up to the news when everyone else did”. During the time between June 25 to June 27th, the possible deal in SCOTT BORCHETTA’s OWN WORDS, was a “PROPOSED TRANSACTION”. Meaning, the deal was still in discussion, a vote had not occurred yet and Taylor was hoping that the majority of shareholders would not vote in Braun’s favor. On Friday, June 28th Borchetta says 3 of the 5 shareholders voted yes on the proposal.

Scott then says “I personally texted Taylor at 9:06 on Saturday, June 29th to inform her prior to the story breaking on the morning of June 30th so she could hear it directly from me”. That’s right. He said “so she could hear it directly from me” meaning that he knew he would be the first person to contact her with this information, my guess being that for “courtesy” as he puts it (aka image), he wanted it to come from him. Now, he suggests that Taylor must have seen this text message but here’s a couple things: #1: 9:06pm Nashville time IS nighttime and I imagine when you’re Taylor Swift you’re probably doing something or exhausted and sleeping, #2: MORE IMPORTANTLY it is extremely unlikely that Taylor was in Nashville. many believe that she was in London at this time (where she has a residence with her sweet British man), in which case it would have been 3AM for her. Even if she was in New York it would have been 10pm and she’s TAYLOR SWIFT she probably gets a million messages to go through a day, not to mention probably tries to have some semblance of a personal life. So yes, she did in fact “wake up to the news” that this deal was officially made, with the rest of the world. This is such a stupid detail that Taylor has absolutely no reason to lie about but Scott Borchetta tried to call her character into question with it so there ya go, it’s been addressed.

Moving on.

Her 13 Management team attorney is Donald S. Passman (also known as ‘the author of music law’-Roy Trakin, Grammy.com) who went over the initial “offer” (if you can even call it that) which Scott Borchetta made to Taylor. As Passman has explicitly said in public statements, “Scott Borchetta never gave Taylor Swift an opportunity to purchase her masters, or the label, outright with a check in the way he is now apparently doing for others”. This “offer” was NOT for such a purchase.

Taylor Swift had expressed to Scott Borchetta multiple times that she wanted a chance to bid outright for control of her masters, but was always denied. Considering how much her body of work of the last 13 years means to her (6 record-breaking, award winning albums with songs she penned from the heart), Taylor was reluctant to walk away, because she knew Borchetta would likely sell, and she’d never own her masters. So, her team discussed the possibilities of what control she could get over her works if she stayed for 7 years, but Scott Borchetta “offered” back that she stay on for 10 more years and could essentially earn these rights in trade for new materials created with the label. That is basically trapping her into a continuous cycle.

Scott is aware that this was not a good deal, as he defends himself in his statement saying, “We are an independent record company. We do not have tens of thousands of artists and recordings. My offer to Taylor, for the size of our company, was extraordinary. But it was also all I could offer as I am responsible for over 120 executives and their families”. While he tries to tug the heartstrings of readers to make him look so caring, the fact of the matter is this: Taylor Swift was the ONLY massive superstar that Scott Borchetta was ever able to get onto his label (not to mention she was his first client and the label was literally created because he found her and convinced a 15 year old girl and her family that in signing a 12 year contract he would remain loyal and supportive because ‘music has value’). Without Taylor’s works on the label, no big deal executive would likely want to buy it and certainly wouldn’t be worth $300 million. If Scott Borchetta really cared about the fact that he is “responsible for over 120 executives and their families” and believed that “music has value” he could have been open to the possibility of Taylor staying on for 7 more years and having greater ownership of the art she creates.

So, when Scott Borchetta stated that “Taylor Swift had every chance in the world to own not just her master recordings, but every video, photograph, everything associated with her career” he really means that she had the chance to very slowly gain these things back over the period of 10 YEARS in exchange for new music (which many have compared to a scare tactic, because he knew losing her would make his label next to worthless). That is not an opportunity for a purchase. Borchetta says Taylor chose to leave, and that is true: she made the excruciating decision to leave because she realized that if she stayed with Big Machine she would never be treated with the respect she deserved to own all that she creates. Also, I imagine being the only pop superstar on a small country artists label likely had its downsides. So, she sacrificed the rights to her past in exchange for a freer future. A painful choice, knowing that Scott Borchetta would likely sell one day, but she never imagined that he would be so disrespectful as to sell to Scooter Braun.

Now, let’s get into that part where Scott Borchetta gets EXCEPTIONALLY DESPICABLE :)

He says that he “certainly never experienced” Taylor “‘being in tears or close to it’ anytime Scooter Braun’s name was brought up”. That’s pretty much her word against his, but regardless of wether or not he knew she was about to cry in such moments, he knew that there was conflict. Borchetta writes, “Was I aware of some prior issues between Taylor and Justin Bieber? Yes,”. Those “issues” as absolutely everyone knows, DIRECTLY INVOLVED Scooter Braun, as was evident when Justin Bieber posted that photo to Instagram of himself FaceTiming Kanye, Scooter Braun, and another man I have yet to identify, captioned “Taylor Swift what up”.

That post showed that these men were publicly laughing at what a lot of people thought would be Taylor Swift’s downfall. At that time, Kim Kardashian (Kanye’s wife) had released snippets of an orchestrated phone call between Kanye and Taylor which was recorded without Taylor’s knowledge. In that “scathing phone call” Kim shared with the world, Taylor agreed for Kanye to include the line “I think me and Taylor might still have sex”, in his new song, which she said was provacative but fine. In that phone call Kanye said he would have her listen to the full song later, but this never happened. He then went on to release the song and music video in which he used the line “I made that bitch famous” (supposedly referencing when he grabbed the microphone out of her hand during her VMA speech when she was 19 years old, to say he thought Beyoncé should have won, much to the disdain of Beyoncé), implying that he was the reason for her (actually hard-earned success), and showed her naked likeness in a hyperrealistic wax figure lain next to him in a bed. He also showed other celebrities nude in this same way, which I personally found equally disturbing. The figures were so realistic that articles immediately came out with headlines like “Was Anyone Real In Kanye West’s Famous Video?”. I agree with Taylor Swift’s statement that this was a form of revenge porn. He visually stripped her naked without her consent in front of the entire world because instead of taking accountability for his own actions (HE is the one who ran onstage and grabbed that mic in 2009 and made himself look like a huge jerk), he decided it was in some twisted awful way her fault that he did that. It tarnished his image, and he dreaded having to publicly apologize to her afterwards even though Taylor was very accepting and actually thought they’d started fresh and new, happily sharing this news publicly.

So yes, I agree with Taylor Swift that those actions should be classified as a form of revenge porn. And I think that anyone who dares to say that her suffering isn’t ‘bad enough’ to call it that, I say you don’t get to determine how profoundly damaging someone else’s level of pain from an experience that you did not have is.

There no possible way that Scott Borchetta was not aware of the extremely difficult position Taylor Swift was in at that time, because the ENTIRE WORLD was aware of it. And Scooter Braun’s implications as manager of Kanye West were without a doubt, known to Scott Borchetta.

In his post, Borchetta continues, claiming, “there were also times when Taylor knew that I was close to Scooter and that Scooter was a very good source of information for upcoming album releases, tours, etc, and I’d reach out to him for information on our behalf. Scooter was never anything just positive about Taylor,”. Taylor being fine with Borchetta communicating with Braun to get information about things like upcoming albums/tours hardly means a thing. If Borchetta had a business source he could ask for information without Taylor’s direct involvement, of course she wouldn’t care. And of course Scooter Braun would not be dumb enough to say bad things about Taylor Swift directly to the owner of Taylor Swift’s label. Obviously, it doesn’t mean that he didn’t share such thoughts to others (go check out Todrick Hall’s recent tweets).

Now, here is where Borchetta goes for a REALLY LOW BLOW:

Borchetta writes, “He [Scooter Braun] called me directly about Manchester to see if Taylor would participate (she declined). He called me directly to see if Taylor wanted to participate in the Parkland March (she declined),”. In this disgusting last-ditch attempt to suggest that Taylor didn’t care about the victims of Manchester or Parkland, Borchetta is actually making it clear that TAYLOR SWIFT REFUSED TO ACCEPT AN INVITATION FROM A MANIPULATIVE MAN WHO SHE KNEW HATED HER. Meaning, Scott Borchetta was FULLY AWARE that Swift did not want to work with Braun. Everyone reacts to tragedy differently. Taylor Swift went on to show her love for the victims of those terrible incidents and her opposition to hatred that caused them. Taylor immediately expressed her sympathies on Twitter and honored the Manchester bombing victims on her Reputation stadium tour, on the night when she performed in Manchester. With Scooter Braun being the manager of Ariana Grande, the artist who was performing the night of the Manchester attacks, it makes sense that Taylor wouldn’t have felt entirely comfortable with the situation. She publicly announced her support for the March for Our Lives movement (started by the students of Parkland High School), and made a generous donation to the cause. Furthermore, Swift has gone on to discuss her personal fear of such attacks (many people have stalked her/broken into her home/tried to get onstage etc), her belief that in the importance of preventing such tragedies and the extra preventative efforts she now goes to in order to keep her fans safe in various interviews. Borchetta’s attempt to suggest that Swift has anything but the deepest sympathies for those tragedies is absolutely revolting.

Finally, Borchetta closes his list of lies with the text message he received from Taylor when she told him of her news to leave Big Machine. In this message, she is kind, heartfelt and respectful of the past that they built together. Borchetta tried to take advantage of this kindness by placing it there as if her politeness and choice to go means she had no interest in a better deal with Big Machine at all.

I’ll include this message in its entirety below, so you can read it for yourself:

Scott,

 I hope this finds you well. Since communication ran dry on our negotiations, I’ve done what I told you I would do and gone out exploring other options. Owning my masters was very important to me, but I’ve since realized that there are things that mean even more to me in the bigger picture. I had a choice whether to bet on my past or to bet on the future and I think knowing me, you can guess which one I chose. I also saw a rare opportunity to effect positive change for a lot of other artists with the leverage I have right now. I know you believe in the same things I do and I’d like to think you would be proud of what I’ve negotiated for in my deal. I wanted to tell you first that I’ll be signing with Lucian. I honestly truly cherish everything you and I have built together and I plan on saying so in my announcement of the new deal. What we accomplished together will be a lasting legacy and a case study on excellent partnerships, and may it continue. I still view you as a partner and friend and I hope you feel the same. Sending you a hug and my most sincere gratitude.

And SO much love,

Taylor

 

I think she makes it very clear that although she was disappointed, she weighed her options and decided to “bet on” her future instead of her past. Meaning, when Borchetta refused to offer her the ownership she wanted, she had to respect her own capability enough to make the difficult choice to walk away. She closes with the statement, “I hope you feel the same. Sending you a hug and my most sincere gratitude, and SO much love,” which shows that she hoped he would continue to regard her and her work with the same care and respect she showed him, even when disappointed.

Scott also includes the email he sent Taylor letting her know about the decision to sell to Scooter Braun:

Dear Taylor,

 

Hope all is well and congratulations on the success of your first two singles from “Lover”! 

 

I can’t wait to hear the entire album…

 

I wanted to pass along to you the same courtesy that you passed along to me in regard to my future.

 

Tomorrow morning (Sunday, June 30th) at 10a central, the Wall Street Journal will announce that I am entering into a merger/acquisition with Scooter Braun and Ithaca Holdings.  This move will give us more pop culture super-power than ever before and I’m so excited about the future. 

 

I want you to know that I will continue to be the proud custodian of your previous works and will continue to keep you and your team abreast of all future plans for releases of you work.

 

Nothing but the best,

 

Scott

 

The letter is polite and to the point, because he has no need to say something nasty. His actions speak loud enough. He was greedy. Taylor knew Borchetta would sell to someone, but that fact that Borchetta went through with selling the life’s work of a talented woman he knew since she was fourteen years old to one of her greatest public intimidators is the ultimate betrayal.

For everyone saying, “well, that’s just business”, I have some news for you. There are good, loyal people out there in business. There doesn’t seem to be many of them, but they exist, and Scott Borchetta pretended to be one of them. This is a matter of moral principle. Of loyalty. Of ‘valuing music’. Taylor Swift isn’t ‘playing the victim’ and she didn’t ‘send people to attack a good man’. She wasn’t ‘bitching’. She isn’t ‘feuding’. She’s speaking her mind. She’s speaking the truth. She’s warning other artists to look out for themselves and she’s holding people accountable for their actions.

I am so, so proud of her.

Forever a Swiftie,

Grace

@taylorswift @taylornation

[cowboyruckus]

this isn’t really a headcanon, but i don’t have an appropriate banner for like... observations or meta.  and i will say here and now that the only person i will ever ship echo with is dorie. cuz i know she’ll give it the respect and care it deserves that the show really hasn’t.  there is one thing that really unsettles me about echo and really liz in general and i’m starting to figure out what that thing is. it’s that she has 100% total control in her relationship with max. and honestly a female partner in a heterosexual relationship having control is obviously not inherently a bad thing. it’s a really really good thing when it means that both partners are on equal footing. but there is a horrific power imbalance here where liz ortecho has all of it, and max evans has none. none at all. he’d jump off a cliff if she mentioned the rocks looked cool at the bottom, and it’s very unhealthy.  but max and liz have never been on equal footing. he has been completely at her mercy since they met when they were children. the thing is that he’s given her his power willingly. he’s let her control his entire life, even after she leaves him behind after rosa’s death.  i mean think about it. did max have any plans after high school? not really. he wanted to write. maybe write a book. but that’s pretty vague and not much of an ambition. he’s pretty much coasting the entire time because ALL of his focus is on liz or to a lesser extent on michael and isobel. but the very minute it starts looking like liz might return some of his feelings all of a sudden he’s going to ‘follow her anywhere’ and do whatever she wants to do. he’s going to make her plans his for the foreseeable future.  and the show frames this with the new mexico sunset and novo amor in the background as this really sweet and romantic thing, but really what they’ve done for two seasons is make max’s entire character completely dependent on liz ortecho. 

max has codependent tendencies. you can see it with isobel, and you can see it with liz. he gets this really unhealthy attachment to people he’s close to, up to and including sacrificing his own life, his sanity, his safety for something that might bring a moment of happiness and completely disregarding the FAR REACHING consequences of that action. ie. rosa’s resurrection. was that a good idea for anyone? absolutely not. but he wasn’t thinking about that. he was thinking that he wanted to make liz happy, and that blinded him to all of the second and third order effects that would occur from bringing a 19 year old drug addict back to life after 10 years in a town that hated her.  and then in season 2 we get all these little instances of liz exerting control over his life like, NUMERO UNO, BRINGING HIM BACK TO LIFE AFTER HE EXPLICITLY ASKED NOT TO BE BROUGHT BACK!!!!! like idk about you but i think the issue of consent is very much ignored here and it makes me uncomfortable. i wanted max back as much as anyone but she was grasping at straws looking for reasons to ignore what he said he wanted. he even pulled his own life support plug and she didn’t get the message. because she wanted him back. didn’t care what he wanted. didn’t care that she’d spent almost the entirety of the time they’ve known one another giving him signals that she does not want him (that’s another thing that bothers me, that for almost 20 years she has looked at and treated him as nothing more than her friend and it was only after she figured out her high school boyfriend was a massive dick after god knows how long that she decided she’d give max a go). no, what max wants has never ever mattered to her.  we get her bossing him around over his health because he’s letting her scold him for drinking coffee with caffeine and gasp exercising!!! we get her scolding him for trying to protect people which is the literal only thing he’s ever expressed any real passion and ambition for (the writing thing doesn’t count, he talks about it but never really does it besides his journaling). we get her stealing his and noah’s dna WITHOUT PERMISSION OR CONSENT AGAIN to conduct alien science experiments, but this time it’s not just to be used on other aliens, she’s planning on using her miracle drug on a human person who has no idea aliens exist, which. why? the random nobody character the cw added just so liz could try to market alien cure-alls behind max’s back and in spite of the risk to him and his family? she repeatedly minimizes his concerns about his alien business even though in reality it has absolutely nothing at all to do with her, like scolding him again for being open and honest with her about how he feels having his sister isobel stripped away from him in the span of a few hours (and btw she was the only thing that kept him sane and any form of ok while they were growing up, her love was the only thing he had to hold onto and now it’s gone) because ‘ur not alone, i’m right here!!!!!’ like that wasn’t simply not true for 20 years. i mean come on, he wasn’t even one of her best friends he was literally the guy she rebounded on when she had a bad day. she used him to make her feel better and never provided him any kind of support or affection in return because it was obvious he was hopelessly in love with her and would do whatever she needed without question. and then she scolds him again for being upset about her conducting secret alien experiments WITH HIS DNA SHE DIDN’T HAVE HIS PERMISSION TO USE becuz ‘it’s not gonna fall out of my hands!’  liz. babee. you idiot. i know you know that’s not how that works. i know you know you can’t possibly guarantee that you can protect him if you expose his secrets to a world that isn’t ready for them. i know you know that. so how dare you try to make him out to be the bad guy because he’s rightfully afraid of how HIS FAMILY will be tortured when they are discovered because of your reckless, careless handling of their lives. we all know how the aliens were treated at caulfield. that’s what will happen to them if you let his dna that you stole get loose. and trust me, you won’t have a choice. someone will take it from you.  but really the root of all this is that max allows elizabeth ortecho to bulldoze him, to talk over him, to dictate how he feels and what he does and how he conducts himself because he’s obsessed with her in an unhealthy way. and she encourages it. she allows it. and she makes it worse. he’s codependent on his sister, he’s codependent on liz. but the thing about isobel is that she’s codependent on him too. liz isn’t. she makes it very clear that she is fully capable of functioning on her own as an independent person without his support. which is perfectly fine and healthy for anyone, but he is incapable of doing the same. and she doesn’t make any effort to help him do this. instead, she exacerbates his dependence on her by gaslighting him and taking advantage of his submissive nature and keeping him out of the loop on decisions she makes regarding HIS medical issues (the alien killing serum. the dna experiments to cure hospital girl).  do i think she does this on purpose? no. do i think she even realizes she’s doing it? no. but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s being done and it’s really starting to make me uncomfortable. because max has displayed time and again how far he’s willing to go for liz ortecho, but liz ortecho hasn’t yet displayed to me how far she’s willing to go for max evans. she’s displayed how far she’s willing to go for liz ortecho. she didn’t bring him back for him. she brought him back for her. 

[toomuchtimenerd]

Reviews for 3 New Adult Novels

So I got a little bored and decided to take a short break from YA fantasy. I spent a good amount of time browsing the Kindle Unlimited catalog (I very recently found out that even if you don’t pay for Kindle Unlimited these books are still much cheaper than others. It’s like $3-4 for a book compared to the usual 9.99. Incredible). During my search, I came across the New Adult genre (seriously - why is Kindle Unlimited FILLED with NA books?) and because I’ve been needing to obsess over some steamy romance lately I picked up two of the most angsty NA books I could find plus one that simply had stellar reviews on Goodreads. And then I proceeded to finish all three books within about a week. To top it off, two of these books are like 700-page novels. It’s amazing how much one can accomplish when you have literally nothing better to do with your life, isn’t it? Yes, I am poking fun at myself. But it’s all temporary. I’m going to actually try my best to keep these three reviews as spoiler-free as possible, for once.

I’m going to start with Devious Lies by Parker Huntington, as that is the first NA book I finished reading this week. So this 700 page behemoth of a book features your standard enemies-to-lovers with a little bit of suspense/mystery added in for flavor. Oh, and sprinkled with some SERIOUS angst and brooding on top. It also features an age-gap romance, and is slow-burn. Devious Lies is basically about rich girl Emery Winthrop who, at 18 years old, is forced to forgo her rich girl life when her father goes under investigation for embezzlement and subsequently goes in hiding. When the embezzlement is leaked, this basically screws over everyone who’s employed by Emery’s father and everyone who invested stocks in his company. This includes a HUGE amount of people in the southern town Emery grew up in. This also includes the Prescott brothers, Reed and Nash. Reed is the boy that Emery had the biggest crush on her entire life, but Nash is ultimately the main love interest and POV that we see aside from Emery’s. 

After the whole embezzlement thing which is a huge factor leading to Nash’s father’s death, Nash is pretty much hellbent on seeking revenge on the Winthrops. By the time the story really gets going, Nash is in his 30s and has essentially built a multi-billion dollar enterprise and of course is one hell of an angsty playboy. Emery is around 22 years old, fresh out of college (paid for by herself) and gets hooked up with a job working for Nash. Nash finds out, and makes it his life goal to make Emery’s life as difficult as possible while trying to find out where her dad is hiding. The entire story is about the progression of their relationship and the secrets surrounding the embezzlement. 

So this is probably one of the better angsty love stories I’ve ever read. And that’s saying a lot because I’ve never liked angst all that much (tried it with The Cruel Prince and although I really didn’t like it I actually have been considering giving that trilogy another chance). Angst is usually so... unbelievably NOT well written at all b/c I feel like angsty characters are just angsty without a good enough backstory to defend it. This tends to be more so prominent in contemporary romance novels, or maybe that’s just because I’m a lot pickier when it comes to contemporary romance. But for Devious Lies, I think Huntington does a pretty good job at charging the main characters with believable and understandable angst. Nash grew up almost in poverty and his dad literally worked himself to death while watching trust-fund baby Emery grow up like a southern princess. The embezzlement destroyed Nash’s dad, so I can see why he blames the entirety of the Winthrop family for the hardships he faced growing up. Not to mention, Nash’s life story is the embodiment of a rags-to-riches story so of course he’s going to look down on Emery who supposedly gets millions of dollars per month just from her trust fund. 

Devious Lies is told from two alternating POVS, Emery & Nash, and I think the scene I anticipated the most was when Nash found out that Emery isn’t getting a single penny out of her trust fund and that Emery is actually living in poverty and working to survive, not out of boredom. We know that Emery’s life is incredibly tough from the very beginning, considering her family name is tainted and she owes student loans on top of helping fund someone else’s college tuition. Nash doesn’t find out about this until maybe past the halfway point of the book, and for me that was probably my favorite part of the entire book - the realization of how much of a complete ass he’s been to her and how she really is the last person who deserved to be targeted by his thirst for vengeance. This is also when their relationship hits a major turning point and finally dips out of the ‘enemies’ part of enemies-to-lovers. 

I think my biggest issue with Devious Lies is how unnecessarily long it is. I think it could absolutely be cut down to around 400 pages, since there were a lot of chapters (especially in the very beginning) that could’ve been very easily abridged or completely left out. The first several chapters covers major events from before Emery goes to college and Nash strikes rich, and from what I can tell these chapters are there to lay out character foundations. But Huntington really could have made these SO MUCH shorter and gotten to the actual story way quicker without sacrificing any character building. Just my two cents, although it seems like most reviewers on Goodreads agree with me over this regard. So despite some unnecessary chapters or parts that could have been left out, I think I’d still give this book a solid 4/5 simply because the author managed to write contemporary romantic angst without making me want to die of second-hand embarrassment. Not to mention, the big plot twists near the end of the story were quite well written and totally worth sticking around for in my opinion. 

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Second book is The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata. Apparently Zapata is like a god at writing sports romance, and this book was rated #1 on some kind of Goodreads list plus it was like 4 bucks or something so of course I had to check it out. This large book is around 600+ pages, but out of the three books that I’m reviewing in this post today this is DEFINITELY my favorite one of the three. I haven’t read a sports romance since I was 15 and obsessed with the Escape to New Zealand series, so I honestly didn’t know what to expect from this outside of mega muscle dudes and steamy sex scenes with said mega muscle dudes. But this book managed to exceed whatever I was expecting AND to my surprise only had one actual full-blown sex scene. Which was very tactfully placed and made for a beautiful end to a truly slow-burn romance. And by truly, I mean seriously truly slow-burn. My god, I don’t think I’ve ever read a slow-burn as freaking slow as this one. But wow it was so worth the snail pacing of their relationship. Speaking of the relationship, I need to talk about our two main characters.

We’ve got Vanessa who is super in debt and has been working as a famous football player’s (Aiden) assistant in every way possible for two years by the start of the story. She finally has enough in her savings to quit and focus on her graphic design freelance career, so she leaves and over a month later her boss is at her door asking her to marry him so he could get his US citizenship. The rest of the story is about the progression of their relationship after they get married and move in with each other. Unfortunately this book was written solely in Vanessa’s POV, and I say unfortunately because I would’ve really loved to have some Aiden POV chapters too. He’s not exactly a hardcore brooder, but he’s also not super open about himself either so at times it was REALLY hard to gauge what was going on in his brain. Despite this fact, it became really obvious that he was falling for Vanessa because he started doing more and more stuff for her as their relationship progressed. There were so two scenes in particular where all he did was just show up and be endearingly supportive and I was ready to bawl my eyes out over how uplifting it all was. 

The Wall of Winnipeg and Me is just one hell of an uplifting and puts-a-smile-on-your-face type of romance. It’s incredibly slow, and at some parts you may be like “oh my god jUST KISS ALREADY!” but when it all inevitably falls in place by the end you will realize just how worth it the ride was. Zapata does an amazing job of portraying a really healthy loving relationship where both members are just so supportive of each other and genuinely want the best for each other. They are actually relationship goals!! I was actually kind of SAD when I finished this book because despite the happy ending I just needed more wholesomeness. And even more unfortunately, there is no sequel and there is no add-on telling the story from Aiden’s POV. So for anyone who’s looking for a healthy dose of wholesomeness, wants something to tug at their heartstrings, and doesn’t mind just a little bit of sex, this book is 5/5 perfection.

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Last book will be one that I just finished reading about an hour ago, The Kiss Thief by L.J. Shen. Now this one I kind of had to debate on for a little bit before I ultimately decided to read it. I found it on Goodreads around the same time I found The Wall of Winnipeg and Me, but after reading its synopsis the first time I got a little bit turned off by it. Not sure why, and I’m not sure what changed my mind but I ended up giving it a try earlier this afternoon and well well well what do you know I ended up reading it all in almost one sitting. The Kiss Thief, like the previous two books I reviewed in this post, is also a New Adult book (with more graphic scenes than Deviant Lies actually) featuring an enemies-to-lovers relationship between a 19-year-old daughter of a mobster and a 30-year-old US senator. Yep, that’s an 11-year age gap right there. Probably one of the most drastic age gaps I’ve seen in a book, but hey I guess some people are into those. The Chicago mobster’s daughter is named Francesca, and her dad gives her away to Wolfe Keaton for marriage due to reasons that become apparent much later on in the book. This book not only depicts the progression of Francesca and Wolfe’s relationship, but also of Francesca’s growth from a sheltered child into a woman. 

Francesca pretty much grew up as a princess, went to an elite boarding school in Europe for most of her life, and was super sheltered. To top it all off, she belonged to an incredibly old-fashioned “traditional” family where women were not expected to go to college but instead stayed at home and pumped out heirs while their husbands told them what to do. Francesca basically grew up her whole life thinking this was her destiny, along with marrying her childhood crush Angelo. But she gets thrown into Wolfe’s arms pretty quickly and early on in the book, and all hell breaks loose as these two absolutely chaotic crackheads go head-to-head with each other. Wolfe is seeking vengeance (why are all the angsty romance novels always centered around seeking revenge?) over something Francesca’s father did, while Francesca just wants to go home and be with Angelo. But things start to change when Francesca realizes Wolfe is actually willing to offer her certain freedoms that her father would never allow. Some of these freedoms include learning how to drive and going to college. 

While Wolfe is ultimately the hero to our heroine, he’s such an asshat for maybe the first 50% of the book. He’s broken (just like every single male love interest in every single book ever) for reasons that occurred in his past, he’s hell bent on revenge, and he’s vowed to never take a wife or fall in love. Obviously this all changes once he is engaged to Francesca, whose own stubbornness, willpower, and innocence takes him on one hell of a roller coaster of emotions. These two, and their relationship, are incredibly explosive but good god half the time they are SO toxic for each other. Their relationship is like the epitome of that one couple you know where they keep breaking up and getting back together again, or they keep getting into fights due to miscommunication, or they keep cheating on each other because the other did it first. When their relationship is good it’s pretty dang good, but when it goes south everything just turns into a living nightmare. I definitely wouldn’t recommend this book to people who are easily triggered by toxic relationships (and I mean truly emotionally toxic relationships), but outside of that it’s definitely not a bad read at all. The progression of Francesca and Wolfe’s relationship is actually relatively unique because it’s anything but linear. There are so many ups and so many downs, which makes the peaking points even more heart-wrenching in my opinion. Especially towards the end, the scene between Wolfe and Francesca’s father. Oh god, my heart couldn’t take it anymore. After this book I’m going to need to find a nice YA fantasy book that tones down the romance. And the steaminess, because The Kiss Thief definitely had PLENTY of those. I think of the three books I reviewed in this post, The Kiss Thief is the most graphic (although tbh I think its sex scenes are the most well written of the three). I’m thinking this book gets a 4/5 from me because while it’s good, I didn’t think there was anything about it that made it really special for me. It simply told an entertaining story, it had a unique progression of enemies-to-lovers, and the character progression of the heroine was fairly believable. 

In conclusion I recommend Devious Lies and The Kiss Thief for those looking for an angsty romance, and The Wall of Winnipeg and Me for those looking for wholesome slow-burn that will leave your heart feeling kinda fuzzy.

[alittlepainisworthit]

So this isn’t abuse?

So it’s come to my attention that people in my family seem to think that my verbally and physically abusive step mother “isn’t as messed up as [I] make her out to be. So I’m going to do what I’ve been meaning to do for a long time and recap every instance I can remember and/or have flashbacks frequently over: 

The beginning: 

1. She beat my brother over lima beans and force fed him and entire plate (they’re literally his most hated food). 

2. She told my brother and I frequently that our deceased mother’s family was disgusting and we always “act like them when we visit them” 

3. She cut off all of my long hair because she said “I walked around like I was too good for everyone else” 

4. She told me multiple times after I would cry for my mom that “I just needed to grow up and get over it and move on” 

5. She would beat my brother for wetting the bed, and having a nervous stomach that made him vomit involuntarily. 

6. Reminded us constantly of the sexual abuse my brother and myself went through with a family member. 

7. She told me that I would be sacrificed on Halloween if I went outside because I had blonde hair and blue eyes. 

8. The constant belittling of everything we did and how we were “lazy” and “spoiled” and “ungrateful” 

9. The fact that she expected a 9 year old to handle all of the laundry for a family of 5. And would beat me when I didn’t do it “right”. 

10. The time she beat me because the teacher recommended I see a psychiatrist. And the psychiatrist put me on an antidepressant because I was 10, idk I guess depressed from all the abuse? and watching my mom die? Oh and she flushed the pills and cancelled the therapist. 

11. The time I got a beating for being “overly sexual” by eating a sucker the wrong way at a grocery store.

12. The times she made fun of the way I looked or that I was getting “fat” at age 11

The Middle: 

1. The time when she hit my brother so hard it left a massive bruise on his arm so we couldn’t go swimming when we went on vacation with my grandparents. What did he do? He didn’t rewind the VCR tape right. 

2. The time she told me that I should be a lane bryant model when I grow up because I was too fat to be a regular model. I was like 100lbs and 12. 

3. The time she told me I would go to hell if I didn’t ask forgiveness after each and every sin. 

4. The times she tried to make me hit my brother and belittle him, so maybe he would “get better” (I still apologize to him all the time) 

5. The times she called my best friend “stupid” and that I was stupid for hanging out with her so much. (She was literally my only friend)

6. The time she accused my brother of trying to kill our youngest brother by dropping him at the hospital. He was 6 and he got scared and let go but my dad was basically holding him. She then used this against him for years. 

The End: (High school) 

1. The time she beat me for asking to go to a supervised house party because the invitation said “kick-ass” 

2. The time I got screamed at because I was dating a boy and wanted to go to a dance. The 3 hour screaming lecture about how “God chose one somebody for you and you can’t just date anyone” 

3. The time a family member told her that anime and what I was drawing was witchcraft, so I got screamed at and all of my drawings were ripped up. 

4. The time the same family member told her that my friends were devil worshipers so I couldn’t be friends with them.

5. Then the myspace incident: I had secretly created a myspace page and my background was a generic anime girl and my name was some weeby cringe name. She found it one day and saw that I used the dame last name on my profile as my good friend that happened to be black. I was screamed at for 3 hours straight on the phone because I was on a church trip and not home. When I got home I was beat with a studded belt. I was told that if was even seen talking to my friends she would keep me home and I would never get to go to school. She had the cafeteria lady spy on me because they were friends. 

6. I got screamed at once and threatened to “beat the living daylights out of” because a kid from school mentioned to her that “I was that kid that could draw really good” and I wasn’t allowed to draw 

7.When I started dating another guy, she would lecture me for hours about how “God created only one person for you” and that we were “unequally yoked” because he was southern baptist and I was Pentecostal.

8. She accused me of having sex with said boy friend and would interrogate me by saying “you are aren’t you” for hours with me crying saying no

9. The time we were forced to move away my junior year of high school to “travel with my dad’s work” which ended up with us going to a private school where I was forced to wear ankle length skirts and have my hair up at all times. I couldn’t walk around town with pants on. I became so hopeless that I quit showering and I only ate. I gained 50 pounds. 

10. Because I gained 50 pounds she would remind me everyday 

11. The times when I did start to excersise she would ridicule me and laugh the entire time and watch me.

12. When I did lose weight "I thought I was better than everyone" and she frequently reminded me that "when I get older all of that was going away” 

13. At this time I had developed  a full blown binge/purge eating disorder and she would say things like “Oh did you drink a coke because you look bloated” 

14. The time she pulled a gun out and threatened to shoot herself in front of my brothers and me.

15. The time she accused me of being a slut because I was into japanese fashion.

16. The time she accused my brother of being a pervert and said he looked at our neighbors little girl in the pool. He didn’t he literally couldn’t see anything because he had his glasses off. 

17. The time she put me in a bad situation by getting me to go on a "date" with a man that was much older than me when I was 17, and he expected me to give him oral while he drove around. I was afraid, and so I did it.  

18. The time she slapped me for applying to college where my friends from high school would be going. And when my dad actually stood up for me she pinned me to the wall and got in my face and screamed that "if I ever got between her and her man again she would kill me"  

19. The time she beat me because she asked me to help her with the computer and I pushed the on button, and she took that as me "thinking I’m just too smart for everyone"  

20. The time she told me I was too stupid to get through college, and that it wasn't my place as a woman to go to college anyway.  

21. The time she slapped me in the face and pushed me to the ground and tried to fight me because I pushed her off my brother when she was about to hit him.  

22. The time when they left me in a city alone at 18 without telling me or stopping by to say goodbye.  

23. The time I thought I was away from everything when she would call me daily to nitpick everything I was doing. And then the time she told me that I was probably pregnant or had an STD from my prior boyfriend and that I was just going to ruin my bf at the time's life by coming back into it.  

24. The time that she made my brother believe he was going to prison for looking at “child porn” on the family computer (he wasn’t looking at child porn) and that he put a virus on the computer which SHE did. She had him so convinced he called me and told me he was going to kill himself. I drove there that next week and got him. 

So the good part of this story is that I got away, but I guess I really didn't get away because I still have nightmares that she's going to kill me or that she's going to hurt my brothers. I have severe anxiety that I cope with on a daily basis, and sometimes I relive all of these moments over in my head. So yea, I feel like she's just as "messed up" as I've said