#in which jimmy n takes an emotional beating

[boltlightning]

landfall: chapter 4

On a bright fateful morn, Jack Sparrow brings rumors of the Black Pearl and her crew of the damned to Port Royal. In theory, the ship should be no match for the dragon Tempest and his Captain Norrington — but the Pearl harbors dangerous shadows of her own. or: potc, but temeraire. multi-chapter wip, ~5.5k words

“This place used to be a den for some of those beasties,” Jack says. “Not like your big’un back in Port Royal, no, but the little wild gits. Rum runners took a chance and used this island as a cache. They came by, and I was able to barter passage off, after…” 

He emerges from the cellar with two bottles of rum in hand and stops short, locked in place by Elizabeth’s glare. “After a grand total of three days,” he finishes. He at least has the presence of mind to look embarrassed. Quickly, his eyes flit away, back down into the cellar. “Looks like they’re out of business now — be it by beasties or your bloody friend Norrington, or his bloody beastie. Or their bloody navy, I ‘spose. Pick your poison, eh?”

“So that’s it, then?” Elizabeth demands. “That’s the secret, grand adventure of the infamous pirate Captain Jack Sparrow? You spent three days lying on the beach drinking rum?”

Jack shrugs. “Welcome to the Caribbean, love.”

He pushes a bottle of rum into her hands and slinks off. With his teeth he jerks the cork from his bottle with a low pop, and promptly pours the contents into his mouth with all the restraint that a rainstorm waters a garden.

Elizabeth is learning that chiefly luck determines your survival in the Caribbean. Wit comes second, and in a distant third place is perseverance. Though severely lacking the foremost trait, she can lean on the latter two. She turns the cool, dark glass of the bottle in her hand, mulling.

(read on ao3 here!)

[kyleoreillylover]

The Bloodline x Fem!Reader

Summary: What's it like being the female member of The Bloodline?

A/N: The Bloodline is one of my favorite factions, so I need to curb my love for them by writing this! Hope ya'll like it!

Since you are the youngest, by default they are very protective of you. It can be suffocating at times- and causes a lot of arguments-but you know they mean well by it.

Aside from Roman, you were the talker of the group. You had the devils tongue and a pretty face- so manipulating others came very easy to you. You and Paul surprisingly formed a friendship with each other, he was kind of a mentor to you and the both of you constantly plotted new schemes and plans to punish your opponents. The audience lived for your interactions and everyone on the roster knew if the two of you were alone that trouble was brewing for them.

Jey, Jimmy and Solo were your personal guard dogs; always being at ringside for your matches, helping you when your opponent had the upper hand, constantly being at your side during interviews, when all of you were backstage. Jey and Jimmy would shieldyou from the brunt of Romans anger, walking you to your car after the show was over to make sure you are safe. You are their little sister, and they will do anything to protect you from the harsh realities of this world.

Solo especially, the two of you are closer in age and you are closer to him than with your other brothers. He will always keep an eye out for you, making sure you are comfortable and that no one bothers you. If you tel him anyone messes with you he will without a doubt beat their ass himself, and if it is a woman he will verbally beat them and intimidate the shit out of them.

You are like the Rhea Ripley of the group, dominant as hell and making sure that your boys are dominant as well, no matter what takes. And by extension, that means you always interfere in their matches unless they specifically ask you not to. You always laugh and taunt their opponents when they go to hit you after you attack them only to realize that they can't.

And they do the same for you. Obviously they won't hit your opponents, but hitting them with a title or a chair doesn't count, right?

If Roman isn't there (which let's be honest, half the time he isn't on Smackdown) then you act as the leader. It is natural to you, you are already abrasive and everyone backstage is intimidated by you, so there's no problem.

If anyone messes with your family, they have hell to pay from you. It doesn't matter if they are a man or a woman, they are stay on the injured list for a long time either way.

If any woman is dumb enough to insult you or anger you in any way, you control your anger for the most part because you enjoy to make them sweat and wait for your revenge. It is more fulfilling making them scared and to make them watch their back than to unload all your anger on them at once.

Since Jey and Jimmy would shield you from the brunt of Romans anger, the two of you didn't really butt heads at all. But if you guys did argue, all hell would break loose.

The two of you were mirrors of each other; power hungry, manipulative, spiteful, willing to do anything and everything to stay on top. But unlike him, you had loyalty, which was the basis of all your arguments. You hated the way he treated Jey, the way he would belittle him at every turn just because he was right about Roman all along. Nothing was off limits during an argument, and the only way it ends is if the both of you put away your pride long enough to put it behind you.

You might’ve been the meanest person on the roster, but ironically you were the one your family went to if they needed comfort. When Romans mind games were too much for Jey, you were a place of solace for him, letting him hug you and cry into your shoulder, let him release his pent up emotions. You distracted Jimmy by making him laugh with your inside jokes and sarcasm whenever he felt overwhelmed. Solo rarely came to you, but when he did, no words were needed, only a hug and the company of one another. If Roman was stressed out about a match, you would take charge and make sure he had nothing else to worry about that would make him even more stressed.

it's not just the women who were intimidated by you-it was the men too. And not just because you had 4 guard dogs always looking over you, though that was a very good reason. You were the Rhea Ripley in the Bloodline for a reason. You didn't hesitate to beat a mans ass or have a match with them if they were being an idiotic pest. Reginald and Tozawa unfortunately had to learn that the hard way :)

If you got hurt from the boys' opponents, just know they are putting them six feet under. One time Drew accidentally clamored you when you shielded Roman from him, and the twins and solo made sure he couldn't walk on his own two feet and had to be stretched out by medical.

You were a famous figure on social media, so you were constantly annoying one of your brothers or cousin to take pictures of you. They would pretend to be annoyed but actually didn't mind it, especially when you would get invited to a event or premier and would bring them along.

You hate losing, and when it does happen (which is rare) you would shut everyone out, letting yourself wallow. Roman’s disappointment didn't make anything better. So Jey and Jimmy would bring you some food, crack some jokes and wait until you talked. If you didn't talk, they'd bring in Solo and leave the two of you alone. Solo wouldn't even need to say anything, he just hugs you and lets you cry into his chest and release your anger and sadness. After your finished crying, he would wipe your tears and you’d give him a thankful watery smile. He’d smile back at you and take you to get your favorite ice cream :)

All in all, you were the pillar of The Bloodline, the one who was keeping it stable, the one making sure it wouldn't fall apart. And eventually, you knew you would have to destroy it. But right now, you wanted to reap its benefits.

[candy-applers]

Home at last

Fandom?: Hermitcraft/MCYT

Who?: Rendog

Extras: Winged reader, Werewolf Ren, other hermits origins included. 

___________

‘Here’s the copper you needed!’ 

Your voice echoes through the air of his kingdom, the atmosphere calming you.  

‘Aww, thank you Y/N! I’ve been needing this for a future project of mine!’ 

Sausage had been talking about trying to get copper, but always coming across areas the other rulers have mined before. You had put it upon yourself at the beginning of the season to become the ‘Gift’ kingdom, doing favors and collecting ores and minerals for the other emperors. 

‘No problem Sausage! But if you don’t mind, I do have to go so I can get some other batches of copper and other things to the other empires, so I guess I’ll come around later!’

You flex your wings, bending your knees and taking off, flying off, but not before Sausage yelled a farewell to you. 

~~

Finally getting home from Jimmy’s kingdom, you strip your armor off from your body, shoulders and wings sagging, happy to be out from their prison made of enhanced diamond. Trudging towards your kitchen, you pull out a cup and some tea bags, beginning to heat up some water. As you're pouring the water into the cup, your communicator beeps, startling you slightly, spilling the boiling water into the floor, splashing your feet. Grabbing a towel and escaping from the hot water, you manage to finish making your tea without spilling anymore, finally grabbing that, some snakes, and your communicator, curious on who messaged you and why. 

Getting to your quarters, you set the tea and snakes on the table next to your bed, and plop onto the bed with your communicator open and active. You check your contacts replying to any messages sent by Jimmy and Scott, and sending a quick goodnight or two to a few others. You close out of the server chat and check the universal chat, where you have a few hermits saved to. You realize that Grian had messaged you, which confused you since last you heard he was busy with trying to negotiate the retirement of an emperor to the server again. 

(Text from Grian: [**] Text from you: {**} :])

[Hey! I’ve talked with a few people, and I’d like to ask how you’d like to join back onto hermitcraft?]

You freeze, overloaded with a multitude of emotions. Happiness, anxiety, surprise, and most of all, excitement. You’d be able to finally see Ren again! You make your decision and type out a reply.

{Of course! I’d love to join back and stay with you all! Me and Pixel were just talking about that! When should I come?}

You sit and wait, anxiety creeping up on you, making yourself doubt if Grian was pranking you or not. Before your mind could begin to spiral, your communicator dings, signaling someone had replied to you. 

(Time skippe)

You enter the hermitcraft server for the first time in a while, having left to join a new multiplayer world a friend you had met made. You look around, realizing that there had been some new players, such as Pearllecentmoon and Geminitay. You were excited to see everyone again, with the exception of finally meeting Pearl and Gem. 

You can hear the beats of wings through the air, and before you could react, a body slams into you, knocking you to the ground. As you try and process what just happened, you could hear the signature giggles of Grian, the failed suppressed laughs from Scar, and the hearty chuckles from Mumbo. 

‘Wow, thanks for the welcome party’ 

You sarcastically remark, chucking slightly as you push Grian off you, Standing up to dust yourself off and stretch your wings out. 

‘Well I’m sorry I have such good ideas!’ 

Grian pouts, all while Scar bursts into laughter, while Mumbo helps you dust off the dirt. You take a good look at Grian, realizing that he had wings! Looking at mambo and scar, Scar had elven ears, and Mumbo had moth wings and antennae, you were surprised. Grian’s wings were multiple shades of red, yellow, and green (Reminding you of parrot wings), Scar had ears that were highly pointed at the top, and Mumbo had beautiful copper colored wings, oranges and greens mixing together to create a beautiful artistic masterpiece. You wondered how all of the other hermits would react to seeing you back, especially considering how grian reacted..

~~~

After a tiring day of catching up with the other hermits, Grian is finally taking you to see Ren, who was currently with Doc, helping him with some kind of build. As you and Grian make your way towards where Ren supposedly was with Doc, Grian’s communicator pings. He slows down a second, peeking a look at the device.

‘Aww, I'm so sorry Y/N, but it looks like Tango needs some help with something. Ren should be right over there, by the giant hole with the flagpole in the middle of it’

And with that information, he took off in the opposite direction, towards Tango’s base of operations. You continue in the way he had motioned to when explaining where, only to come across a giant sign saying:

[Y/N!!----->]

The sign pointed towards a patch of land not too far from where it was posted, so you spread your wings, and took off in that direction. Upon reaching the patch of land, you could see something that looked like a lump of fur on top of a pillar, only to realize it was just Ren, with…Ears and a Tail?!

You fly down to him, and you look up to see him, having noticed your presence, with eyes of admiration. 

‘Hi-’

Before you could get a word out, you’re engulfed into his body, arms wrapped strongly around you, making sure you wouldn’t leave. You lean into it, placing your head onto his chest as he brings you both down to sit on the cloth laid out on the floor. 

Sitting there for the next few hours, you and Ren both sit there and enjoy each other’s presence, no words being said. But one thing was clear, and that was:

You were finally home

Hey! Author here! Once again this was not proof read, so if you could point out any mistakes, I am open to correcting it! Enjoy! Also, requests are official open! Head over to there and submit a request! Make sure to read the rules before requesting!

[crispy-bonnie]

You love to sing - THE PAYDAY GANG

A/N :: alright these ones are rushed as all FUCK because it was bugging me that i didn't have these complete . i'll work on the rest of my planned headcanons later but i really wanna write those oneshots i have planned hgbjdgvykesd

edit :: okay so i found out that wolf canonically takes singing lessons , so i revised his part a bit more to be fitting to this

Dallas

You were helping to sort some of Hoxton's files out when he overheard you singing to a tune on the radio

He was doing his best to look like he was doing his work but in reality, he was just staring and listening to you sing

If you acknowledge this or even make eye contact, he'll let out a squeak and immediately look back at his computer in hopes that it wasn't that obvious

It totally was

It was so obvious that Hoxton ended up teasing him about it later

Wolf

You were patching him up after a failed prototype test and you were humming along to a tune

He seemed pretty enthusiastic about it and even tried to clap along, but you stopped him since you sitll had to bandage up his arms

"You're a pretty good singer, y'know that?"

No shame in complimenting you whatsoever

If you're flustered about it, he'll just laugh it off and pat you on the shoulder

"You should sing more! I can sing too if you like!"

He’s actually…really good at it

If you compliment him back, he’ll just flush red and mutter a ‘thank you’ in response

After that little interaction he bumped up the hours and days of the singing lessons that he takes

After all, he’s gotta sound perfect for his beloved!

Hoxton

Overheard you singing while you were helping Aldstone iron the cash in the vault

He was about to put the last bag of cash in there but he stopped when he heard your hypnotizing voice

If human beings could melt from sheer emotion, he'd be a fucking puddle of love by now

Aldstone acknowledged his staring, poking fun at him just a little before Hoxton just scoffed and left the money in the vault

He made sure to take a lot of notes on songs you liked to listen to or sing, and those notes are tucked away in a cabinet that he hopes to god you don't get your hands on

Sokol

First heard you singing while he was heading down to the basement to practice some hockey

You were already at his hockey gym, casually practicing some shots while singing a small melody

"Ебена мать..." [Holy shit...]

This caught your attention, in which his face immediately flushed red in embarrassment

If you try to dismiss yourself, he'll let you go, but won't stop thinking about how wonderful your voice sounds

Even while he's practicing, he'd be doing so to the beat of the song you were singing

If not, he'll eventually snap out of his lovestruck staring and offer to play a game of hockey with you as to avoid any conversation about his flushed face

Clover

Clover first heard you singing while you were helping Aldstone to spiffy up the bar after someone [Jimmy] got cocaine everywhere

You had a song playing on the radio and you were singing along whilst sweeping up the mess

The way you swayed with the music, the sound of your voice blending perfectly with the instrumental, she was red at the face

Of course, she snapped out of it when she finally noticed that you were waving your hand in front of her face, saying "Earth to Clover, you okay?"

She just waved it off, telling you that she was alright. She told you that you were a really good singer and that you should definitely do it often.

If you're shy about it, she'll try to ease you into doing it. If you two are alone, she'll try to start humming a song to see if you recognize it. If you do, she'll encourage you to sing along.

Jacket

Jacket overheard you singing and couldn't help but melt over the sound of your voice, yet every time you noticed him, you end up zipping your mouth

That's when he started to record your singing with his tape recorder, keeping the tapes in a special container for him to listen to when he wants to hear the sweet sound of your voice

After a while of it, he started to take note of the songs you liked and compiled a playlist of songs both he and you liked

He would play it while you're around, trying to encourage you to sing more often

Jacket hopes that his efforts will pay off at some point

[teacupcollector]

Fiona Gallagher x Reader

Summary:  Meeting Fiona was a whirl wind of emotions. Leaving her was something you regretted but didn't have a choice in doing. When an injury sends you back home you are reluctant to see her again. Especially with Steve/Jimmy back in the picture. You cannot guarantee her happiness so why ruin it by coming back into her life? Loving from afar is all you can do...

Warning: Illusions to Suicide, Past Violence Resulting in Injury, A lot of angst

A/N: I am unsure if I want to continue this, or what to call it but I hope you enjoy!

Meeting Fiona Gallagher was something else. She was so bold and out there. Especially when it came to her family. She was protective and steadfast. She was everything you loved and leaving her was the hardest thing you ever could have done. 

You met Fiona when you were in boot camp she was still with Steve/Jimmy. She was working at some bar in some short skirt and a skimpy top. Not that you didn't hate the sight. You hated the men who looked at her as if she was a piece of ass that they can hit an quit the next day. Not to sound creepy, but you always visited on her shift, made sure to get seated in her section, and left a big tip. As much as you could afford at least. You weren't that well off. She started talking to you after you got kicked out of the place. A group of guys were catcalling her and even  though you wanted to step in you knew she could take care of herself. That was until they touched her. Slipped dollar bills into her pants and stroked her stomach and thighs. She was obviously uncomfortable but couldn't do anything without losing her job. You ended up breaking that mans finger and another mans' nose. After that all of you were tossed out but those guys didn't walk away with out a fight. Despite being a woman you held your own against the four for a bit. What you didn't take for account was the amount of rings one of the guys had on. They beat you to a pulp and left you by a dumpster.

When you come to your senses you saw her beautiful brown eyes and you smiled. "Hey... Hey!" You finally hear her. "Hey... Beautiful..." You say in a haze. "What you did was really stupid.... You okay?" She asks holding out her hand. You nod and grab it as she hoists you up. "As good as I'll ever be-" You are cut off by bile rising to your throat and quickly turn away into a garbage bag and throw up. "Jesus!" She exclaims as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. "You are really fucking stupid you know that?!" She says grabbing your chin and looking into your eyes. "You got a hell of a concussion..." You just smile and gently move her hand away. "It was worth it..." She rolls her eyes. "You got a place?" She asks and you chuckle. "Trying to take me home?" You ask and she sighs as well. "I don't swing that way." She says and you nod lifting your hands in surrender. "Sorry I didn't mean to over s-ste-" You turn around and barf into the trashcan again. "J-Jesus this was not how I wanted to meet you..." You say solemnly. "You wanted to meet me?" She asks shocked. You nod "Uh huh... I have been sitting in your section a-" "And giving me big tips. Yeah thanks for that. You tryin' to butter me up?" She sounds angry and you sigh. "Look I'm sorry... I didn't know how to talk to you. You're a pretty girl an- Jesus No one knows I'm gay... But I wanted to shoot my shot..." She sighs and nods. "You have anyone waiting at home for you?" She asks and you shake your head. "Uh no... I live alone... Kind of..." You mumble and she looks at you confused. "Look it's fine I will leave you alone... I didn't mean to cause trouble... I just know how it is like to be objectified and I couldn't stand by and  let it happen to you." You say and begin to stumble away when she catches your wrist. "Look... I can't have it on my conscience that someone died defending my honor. Which you will never do again I might add!" She says in a scolding tone. She ended up taking you to her house that night. She stayed up to make sure you didn't fall asleep again, held your hair when you were throwing up, and listened to your nervous rambling. From then on you had a friendship that blossomed into something more. When she found out that you were to be shipped off in a few months she was heart broken but she pushed through for a while. Sent care packages when she could, sent letters, sometimes nudes which you enjoyed sometimes, but you always told her that you loved her. In every letter, package, hell you would spell it out on your tits when you had the time to send a polaroid. Through her letters she said it would always make her laugh. That was until your third tour. You guys got into a big argument.  

"Your fucking leaving?! You just got back a month ago!" Fiona exclaims. "Fiona you know how this works baby... I didn't know until today and It took me a lot to get this much time with you already. Let's ju-" "No! You can't just come here and let us get use to you and take off again!" "Fiona she c-" "Zip it Ian!" You sigh. "Baby I know you are tired of this long distance thing but if you can just wait a little lon-" "No! I am done waiting! I am tired of waiting!" You walk up to her and cup her shoulders. "Fi please... Let's not spend the last two nights together angry we can ju-" "No! I am not going to wait around for you to get yourself killed! You should-" "I didn't have a choice Fiona!" You exclaim. "I didn't have a choice! I was in a shitty situation and I needed an out!" Fiona lets out a sarcastic laugh. "Oh we all are in shitty situations and w-" "This was all I could get! If I knew I was going to meet you I wouldn't have joined in the first place!" You say as tears start streaming down your face. "I love you so much Fiona Gallagher. Please... Just wait for me..." "No I am done waiting! The last time I waited for someone they never came back!" You cup her face and look at her in the eyes. "I am not Steve... It hurts that you think I am..." You lean into kiss her but she pushes you away. "Just leave..." She says quietly. "Fi..." "Just get out! I am done! I can't take this bullshit any longer!" She says and walks into the kitchen. "Fi I can't do that! I live here and I love the family we have!" You say following her into the kitchen. "I do-" "Just leave! We don't want you here! We don't need you...." Your heart feels like it stops. "If you want me to go I will but please Fiona... I love you..." Fiona turns around and stays silent. "Please just say it back... Say it back to me please..." You say with a sniffle but she stays silent. You know she is just angry and she will come to her senses soon but it doesn't make it hurt less. You turn around and walk up the stairs. You hear a couple pairs of foot steps behind you as you exit Fiona's room with your stuff. "Are you really leaving?" Debbie asks and you let out a quivering sigh and nod. "Yeah my loves I'm leaving... But I promise I will be back as soon as I can." You say and Debbie runs into you with a hug followed by Carl who you can see now. You kiss the top of their heads and give them a tearful smile. You hear two more pairs and look up to see Ian and Lip. "I know you both are pissed at me... They cut my leave short... I didn't expect it..." You say as you walk toward them and open your arms. Ian immediately hugs you "She is just angry she will snap out of it." He says as he pulls away. Lip walks up and gives you a side hug and nods in agreement. You kissed all their foreheads including Liam's before heading down stairs. "Baby?" You call out but it is left unanswered. "I love you Fi..." You say and wait a few seconds. When there is no response you sigh and walk out the door.

"(Y/N) What are you doing here? When did you get back?" Kevin asks shocked and almost excited. "And Je- What the fuck happened to you!" He says gesturing to your left arm or lack there of. You have tears in your eyes as you look at him. "Missed you Kev..." You say with a sniffle. Kevin knocks on the bar before saying "Alright dipshits! I'm closing early!" There was a sound of groans and they all left after about five minutes. Kevin locks the door from the inside and immediately comes to sit next to you. "What happened? When did you get back?" You hug him as tight as you can and let out a small sob. Kevin gently surrounds you in a brotherly embrace. "I missed you all s-so much!" You cry. "Have you called Fi-" "No." "What why?" You pull away and sniff again. "She doesn't want anything to do with me..." Kevin looks at you as if you shot his dog. "You know that isn't true right?" He asks and you shake your head. "It is... You know about our argument before I left... I get letters from Debbie and she says Steve is back..." Kevin's face drops. You know that he knows but you aren't mad at him for it. "Does anyone know you are home?" He asks and you shake your head. "I came here first... You are the only person who knows and it is going to stay that way." You say sternly. "(Y/-" "I need a favor." Kevin stands up waving his hands. "Woah, woah, woah!" He says and paces for a second. "At least tell me what happened that caused that..." He says gesturing to your missing arm. You chuckle before removing your hat to show that you also have an ear missing. "Jesus fuck (Y/N)!" He exclaims. "I uh... I attempted to throw back an explosive..." Kevin's face seems to grow even more shocked by the second. "Wh-" "My whole squad were in a fucked position... I had to do something and this was the aftermath..." Kevin takes a breath and sits next to you again. "It was always you who would play the hero..." Kevin says with a small laugh. "What is the favor?" He asks sadly. "And why does it seem like I am never going to see you again?" You sigh and wipe your eyes before setting down your duffle bag and rifling through it. You take out an envelope that hasn't been sealed so he can look at it and set it on the bar. He pauses for a moment but then picks it up to look at it. "A check?" He asks.

You nod. "Yeah... My compensation... I placed you as the home address. I would have done Fi's but I wasn't sure if Frank was still around." You say as you place your hand in your lap gripping your pants leg. "I did the math and both you and V are included. It's not much but it can pay bills, Help the kids get better clothes, and may-" "You can't give us this!" Kevin exclaims. "What about you? Where is your cut?" He asks and you shake your head. "I don't need it." "Like hell you don't need it have you looked at yourself!" He says his voice rising. "I'll be fine! I ca-" "What about medicine? O-Or clothes! Painkillers! You must be hurting!" He says shoving the check toward you but you shove it back. "I'm fine! Kevin Ple-" "No Yo-" "KEVIN LISTEN TO ME!" You scream and this shuts him up. "You are going to take this money, buy clothes, food, hell even Christmas presents for that household!" "We don't ne-" "I know you don't but I want to! Please just do this for me!" You plead.  Kevin pauses. "Why? Why give this to us?" You sigh and look away. "I'm going to end up dead in a ditch anyway so why take the money with me?" You say before standing up and walking behind the bar. "Which is why we need to help you!" Kevin says. "I am not going to be some other burden for all of you to carry!" You shout. "You aren't a burden... There are people who love you!" He says standing up and going behind the bar helping you open a beer. "I don't want help." You say blinking back tears. "I'm sure Fi-" "She has Steve and his money... I just want to do this last thing for her and that family..." A few tears slip down your cheeks as you take a swig. "I love her. I love Fiona and the kids! I love both you and Veronica!" You say turning toward him. "I just want to do one last thing and then I will be happy." You say setting down the beer and wiping your eyes before picking it back up again and taking a sip. "Then at least come with me. You can give it to them yourself!" He says trying to convince you to stay. "I am not going to ruin their dynamic... They have Steve to take care of them... They don't need me messing it all up..." You say. "She would drop Steve the minute she saw you..." Kevin says and you shake your head. "No... I wouldn't want her to. She deserves better then me. Better then him... But he makes her happy and I am not going to stand in the way of that... I am not going to be a burden..." You say chugging the rest of your drink and tossing it in the trash behind the bar. You scoot by him and grab your hat. "Don't tell anyone about it. Say you made extra cash at the bar or something." You say as you put it on and lean down with a grunt to grab your duffle. "Are you really doing this?" Kevin asks defeated and you nod. "I love you all..." You say and quickly duck out of the establishment.

Debbie is in her room looking through the letters she recently received. They weren't from you as they usually were they were from some military officer. It had a first class stamp on it and everything. It was well into the night but she needed to understand what this is. Everyone other then Fiona knew that they still got letters. Before you left on your third tour you and Fiona had a bad fight and for a while Fiona would just burn your letters before even opening them so Debbie and some of the others started checking the mail before she could and hide them. It became a routine. Debbie and everyone would send you letters back on occasion so you would know that they are still thinking about you but now this military jargon is messing with her head. Since letters like this have been coming for a week now. Debbie quietly slips out of her room and makes her way to the boys room. While doing this she can hear Fiona and some of her friends downstairs. When she gets there she goes up to Ian's bed and shakes him while whispering. "psst Ian!" Ian is startled awake and looks at her. "What do you want Debs?" He asks rubbing his eyes. "It's a letter! From (Y/N) it makes absolutely no sense!" She says and Ian sits up and turns on a lamp. He looks through the letter as his face turns from tired to serious. "Wake up Carl and Lip... We need to tell Fiona." Debbie's eyes widen. "What?! No! She will try and burn it before we can figure out what this means!" Debbie says her voice rising. This rouses Lip from his sleep. "What the fuck are you two doing up?" He asks and Debbie sighs. "There is a letter from some Military Officer and not from (Y/N)..." Lip hops down and walks over to look at it.

Meanwhile downstairs in the living room Fiona, Steve, and Veronica are sitting and laughing while drinking a few beers. "So where is Kevin? He should be here!" Fiona says and Veronica shrugs. "I don't know he says he has been taking extra shifts at The Alibi." Right as she says that Kevin walks through the door. "Delivery!" He says as he walks to Fiona and Veronica handing them their own envelope and Veronica squeals and takes it to count but Fiona is still reluctant. "You should save all this money for the baby..." "You say that every time Fi I told you it's fine!" he says with a forced smile on his face. Fiona notices this and raises a brow. "Where do you get this money again?" She asks and Kevin Shrugs. "The Alibi! Don't worry about it!" He says when Steve chimes in. "Who cares where it's from! It's money and that's all that matters!" He says with a smirk and Fiona sighs rolling her shoulders out. That is when Debbie, Lip, Ian, and Carl comes down stairs somewhat in a rush. "What are you guys doing down here?" Veronica asks. "We have something for you Fiona..." Ian says slowly. "Can't it wait till morning? It's a school night." But Debbie shakes her head, seemingly close to tears. "What is Debs?" She asks and Lip responds. "It's about (Y/N)..." Fiona tenses up and Steve asks. "Who is (Y/N)?" "It doesn't matter who she is she isn't important." She says flatly. "You know that's not true!" Debbie exclaims. "She is important to all of us! We all love her and so do you!" Debbie says nearly screaming. "Debbie!" Fiona says shocked. "She's back!" Debbie says and Kevin slowly makes his way out of the room which doesn't go unnoticed by Veronica so she follows him. "Kev?" She asks and He tenses up. "Uh yeah V?" He says nervously. "What are you hiding?" She asks sternly. "Hiding? I'm not hiding!" He says and Veronica storms up to him where they are practically chest to chest. "I know when you are lying now tell me!" "Then I might as well tell everyone..." He says walking back into the living room where Debbie is bawling her eyes out, The boys trying to get through to Fiona and Fiona seems to be hyperventilating. "Guys..." Kevin says but they don't seem to be listening. That is when Veronica speaks up. "GUYS!" They all pause their arguing  and look at Kevin.

Kevin takes a deep breath before speaking. "I saw (Y/N)... She came to The Alibi a month ago..." They all in unison scream. "What?!" He nods his head. "She didn't want to see everyone because of... What was the word... Dynamic I think. She said that since Steve is here she didn't want to ruin it... She didn't even want me to tell you." He says sighing. "And the money... That's from her. Sh-" "We aren't a fucking charity case you find her and take this shit back!" Fiona says standing up and handing her envelope to him. "If you saw her you would think it was the other way around?" Kevin says and Fiona looks confused. "What does that mean?" She asks and that is when Lip speaks up. "She was medically discharged a few months ago... Came back to the states a month and a half ago..." Fiona looks over at Lip. "Medically discharge? Is she hurt what does it say?" She asks walking over and taking the letter from him. "It talks about her compensation and the address to find her but she listed Kevin and Veronicas address..." Ian says looking down at his hands. "How did you get this letter?" She asks. "Well..." Debbie speaks up. "I send her letters..." Fiona looks shocked. "What?" "You started burning (Y/N)'s letters so we all made sure to look through the mail before you got to it..." Carl says. "I... I thought she stopped sending them..." Fiona says  as tears well up in her eyes. "Where is she now?" She asks Kevin and he shrugs. "I don't know... She said that it was going to be the last time I saw her..." Veronica hits his shoulder. "So you just let her go!" "She was adamant! I wasn't going to turn my back on her!" Kevin exclaimed. "When was the last time you saw her?" Debbie asks. "A month ago but I have guys keeping tabs on her. She is still in Chicago. That's all I know..." He says quietly. "Okay, okay guys. Lip you and Carl go to all the homeless shelters in the Area. Ian you and Debbie check every hospital! V and Kev you guys ask around... I might know where she is..." Steve stands up from the couch. "What about me?" He asks and Fiona gets an unpleasant shiver. "Uh... You stay with Liam..." She says and then goes to get ready.

[empower-bi-women]

Hi! In case you write for Tim Drake, I’d love if you could write a smut in which Tim and the reader have known each other for long and the sexual tension is obvious but none of them ever acted upon it until now. Thank you very much.

That pesky sexual tension 

Summery: Hi! In case you write for Tim Drake, I’d love if you could write a smut in which Tim and the reader have known each other for long and the sexual tension is obvious but none of them ever acted upon it until now. Thank you very much.

Warnings: SMUT so if you’re not 18 begone thot, spanking, teasing, dirty talk, cheesy writing? 

A/N: I tried to be a little more cute with this one so let me know what you think. And to the anon who requested this I’m sorry it took so long I hope you like it! Also this is my first ask!! So sorry if the format is a little strange I’m still trying to figure it out.

Word count: 3041 

“Timothy Drake, I swear to god give me back my book!” you chased him into the kitchen where he ran to the other side of the counter. 

“Why don't you come over here and make me.” He replied with a teasing smile on his face. You lunged forward across the cold counter top to reach for your book. He laughed at your struggle “Come on Y/N you know you never won a fight against me without someone helping you.” 

Shit he had a point you thought, everyone else was out at the store. You gave up, sitting on the counter with you back to him and pouted. Arms crossed looking towards the open door. Laughing he walked over to face you. 

“Aw come on I was just teasing.” he put his arms down on either side of you, trapping you in but you refused to look at him. “Come on look at me,” he leaned down to try and catch your gaze but you just moved your head. “Y/N?” he looked at you with wide eyes before they narrowed, “Y/N look at me.” His voice dropped into that commanding tone he used on patrol. You couldn’t help but look up to meet those blue eyes that bore into yours. The silence in the room was deafening. He leaned in closer and closer until your breath was his. Noses almost brushing. Lips almost touching. He glanced down at your lips. 

The kitchen door burst open causing the two of you to jump apart as the rest of the boys walked in carrying grocery bags, chatting loudly. Dick and Jason froze in the doorway causing Damian to bump into them from behind. 

“Now what do we have here?” Jason asked in a teasing voice. 

“Nothing. Did you get my coffee?” Tim said, his voice back to normal. 

“Did you put it on the list?” Dick asked, shooting you a strange look as you hopped off the counter, “what were you guys doing in here anyway?” 

“Tim took my book right out of my hands so I had to get it back.” You replied.

“Damn I thought you were finally resolving that pesky sexual tension.” Jason said through a mouth full of marshmallows. 

“Jason!” You, Tim, and Dick all yelled out.

“What! This has been going on for way too long. We were all thinking it” He tried to defend himself. 

“We most certainly were not Master Jason,” Alfred came to save the day, “and please refrain from eating all the food before it's even put away.”

He grumbled before putting the bag away. You snached your book away from Tim before walking into the living room to finish reading. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Come on please Y/N just look it up! It won’t even take five minutes.” Tim pleaded with you, hiding a smile on his face.

“I thought you were the computer wiz, do it yourself.” You replied, not looking at him. He grabbed the back of your chair and spun you to face him. Kneeling down he looked in your eyes. “Please?” his voice was barely above a whisper as he leaned in closer, “for me?” 

Your cheeks heated up. “I’m busy right now, go ask someone else.”

“Ok can you just check this one thing please?” 

“Out!” You spun your chair away from him but he still leaned down and pressed a kiss to your head before walking away.  You shook your head trying to clear the thoughts running through your head of the way his forearms flexed as he gripped the chair arms. The way his bright blue eyes looked like they wanted to devour you whole. Ugh this man is going to kill me you thought. 

--------------------------------------------------------

That night you were working comms with Barbara in the cave. Things were going smoothly until Tim called in.

 “Hey Oracle, hey angel, can you guys find out who that guy over there is and what he's doing please and thank you.” Your eyes went wide at the nickname he gave you. You could see Barbara looking at you out of the corner of your eye and heard Jason and Dick laughing though the comms. You ignored them as your fingers flew across the keyboard as facial rec worked its magic. 

“His name is Jimmy Figgis. He’s fresh out of bellrev, he was in for drug dealing and black mail.” You said into the comms.

“Well it would be a shame if he got caught red handed doing a deal. He would go back to jail.” Barbara chimed in. 

“Looks like we got a stake out boys.” Dick said.

“It's ok guys, I can stay for the drop.” Tim said, his voice low as he settled in for the night, “I'll have Y/N to keep me company, right angel?”  

“I mean it's not like I have a choice do I.” 

Not even half an hour later Tim started to get bored. And his target was you. Barbara had to leave to take care of some other stuff so you were alone. Tim decided it would be a good idea to switch frequencies and mess with you. 

“Hey Y/N, have you ever thought about us while touching yourself?” 

You spat out your coffee. “What the fuck Timothy!” You heard his laughter on the other side of the line. 

“Well I'm just asking because I know for a fact that Dick thinks of Babs and Jason thinks of Diana sometimes but he would never admit it. And I got curious. Who do you think of?” 

You could practically hear the smile in his voice. “Wouldn't you like to know. You really should focus on the stake out instead of my masturbation habits.” 

“Aw angel I can almost see you blushing from here. You look adorable.” 

“Shut up Tim.”

“Have I ever told you how much I love hearing you say my name? It sounds so sweet I can almost imagine what you would sound like screaming it underneath me.”

You froze. You and Tim had always had a flirtatious relationship but this was a new level entirely. This was dangerous territory. “Don't start things you can't finish Timothy.” Your voice was low. 

“Oh believe me angel I always finish. And I make sure my partner does too.” 

You threw your head back in frustration. “Focus on the stake out and we can continue this later.”

“Is that a promise?”

Before you could reply Bruce’s voice crackled through the comms “Red Robin we’re coming to you.” 

-------------------------------------------------------------

A few arrests and fight later the bats rolled into the cave. Alfred was on standby with the medical kit but there was no need. You shifted uncomfortably as Tim’s eyes raked over your body, pausing on your legs that were squeezed together, trying and failing to give you relief from the ache in your pussy. He smirked at the site of you waiting for him, all needy. 

“Good job tonight guys. Shower and get some sleep,” Bruce said, taking his cowl off, “I’m looking at you Tim.”

Tim just smiled. You both knew there would be no sleeping tonight. Tim walked over to you, his cowl was off and his dark hair was messy. Fuck he looked good you thought to yourself. The look on his face was calm but you could see something in his eyes. All the years you've known him, you had never seen this look in his eyes. It was dark and lit a fire inside you. 

“Do you still want to do this? Because once we start, I'm not stopping.” his blue eyes stared into yours.

“I believe I have a promise to fulfill.”

He gave you a wicked smile. “I want you upstairs in my room, ten minutes. And no touching yourself.” He tapped your thighs that were pressed together before walking away.

-------------------------------------------------------

Your head was a mess by the time you headed up to Tim’s room. You had bid goodnight to the rest of the boys when your phone chimed. Tim had sent you a picture from the shower. Towel low on his hips showing off his v line, water droplets glistening off his abs, and the way his hand gripped his phone showed off all the muscles and veins in his arms. The wetness between your legs grew with every step towards his room. You knocked on his door, the loud sound of your knuckles against the wood echoed throughout the hallway. 

“Come in.” His voice was muffled by the door. You walked in to find him sitting on a chair across from the bed in nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants. “Lock the door.” His voice was low and commanding, not unlike that day in the kitchen. That same electric energy that you felt then was in the room, now magnified by 100. 

“I'm going to ask you one more time, are you sure you want this?” 

“Yes Tim I’m sure.” 

“Good girl,” the praise sent shivers down your spine, “Take off your clothes and lay down on the bed.” Your heart was beating out of your chest as you slowly took your shirt off. “I don't recommend teasing me angel, it won't work out well for you.” You just smiled as you turned around, taking your pants off while wiggling your ass tauntingly. You didn’t even hear him move before you felt a sharp pain across your backside. You moaned at the contact. 

“Aw does my little angel like pain?” he questioned mockingly before coming down on you again, “I asked you a question Y/N, I expect and answer.” 

“Yes sir.” You heard him laugh behind you. He wrapped his hand in your hair and pulled you up against his warm chest. “Well isn't that a nice surprise. I always knew you had a thing for authority.” His voice was low in your ear. Your head went back to rest on his shoulder as he kissed his way down your neck, sucking and biting the skin there. His movements against your body are slow and calculating. Tim always seemed gentle and calm but the truth is that no one knows how he respresed his emotions, and his needs. But tonight he was going to take whatever he wanted. And you would let him. 

“What do you have to say for yourself?” His hands caressed your skin.

“I’m sorry sir.”

“Sorry for what?”

You took a shallow breath. He was really going to make you work tonight. “For teasing you.” 

He turned you around to face him. “Such a good girl for me, aren’t you?” He said softly, brushing your hair out of your face, before kissing your lips gently. Looking into his eyes you could never tell what he was thinking. His face was calm and passive. That is until he let go. And you would do whatever it takes to see him lose control. Even if that meant misbehaving. 

“Get on the bed for me angel.” he kissed your forehead before turning his back on you but you didn’t move. He grabbed a red tie from his desk and turned around, his eyes widening at the sight of you still standing there. “Did you not hear me?” He raised his eyebrows at you, “I said, get on the bed. Now.” 

You could see the annoyance in his eyes. He was starting to slip, you wouldn’t stop now. 

“Make me.” 

Those two words lit a fire in him. He picked you up easily and threw you onto the bed with such force that you bounced. “I told you not to tease me angel.” He growled as he crawled towards you on the bed. He grabbed your ankle and pulled you towards him so he was hovering over you, arm placed next to your head. His hot breath hit your face. “You were being so good angel, what happened? Why are you being a brat now.” 

You whimpered at his words. His hand slipped down to your panties and rubbed a finger up and down your slit ever so lightly. 

“Tim please.” You begged him. A sharp smack to your thigh brought you out of your daze. 

“I'm sorry, what was that?” his voice has a dangerous edge to it. His eyes were wild, “that not what you're calling me tonight, is it.” 

“Sir, please! Please touch me, I need it.” You pleaded with him. He rolled his hips into yours, putting pressure where you needed him most. 

“Will you listen to me now?” 

“Yes anything you say.” You replied, needing to feel him closer. 

He moved in to kiss you, stopping just before your lips touched. You moved up trying to close the distance but his hand was quick around your throat, forcing you back down. “I'm going to eat this pretty little pussy,” he murmured, “I want you to stay still and you must ask for permission before you cum. Understood?” 

You nodded, desperate for anything he would give you. He removed his hand from your neck and kissed his way down your body to your soaked panties. His rough hands spread your thighs open, leaving a wet kiss on both before pressing a kiss to your clothed clit. You shifted your hips up, trying desperately to get more stimulation. His arm trapped your hips down. 

“Now angel, what did I tell you about moving?” He moved away from where you needed him most. 

“I’m sorry sir, please I need you.” You looked at him with desperate eyes. 

“All these years I’ve known you, you've always been a tease to me. Whether you knew it or not. I've been waiting for so long for this, I’m going to take my sweet time,” he growled, “you can lay there and shut up, it's my turn to tease you now Y/N.” 

He dove back in and licked a long stripe over your panties. Heat washed over your body as you felt your pussy gush at his actions. He slowly pulled them off your body leaving kisses down your legs. Leaving hickeys on your inner thighs. He ran his tongue over the dark red marks he left behind. Throwing your panties somewhere in his room, he came back to your throbbing core. Running a finger through your wetness he cooed at you. “Oh angel you're just soaking wet for me aren't you? I can't wait to taste this sweet little cunt.” 

He licked up your slit, collecting your juices. He moaned at the taste. His tongue flicked against your clit ever so lightly, giving you some stimulation but not enough. One hand snaked up in between your thighs to play with your cunt. 

You threw your head back at the sensation of his tongue and fingers working their magic on your body. His lips wrapped around your clit and sucked. You gasped at the sensation, shivers running down your spine. His finger teased your entrance. 

“You’re fucking drenching me sweetheart. You taste so good when you're like this for me.”

“Please sir I need you.”

“Where do you need me angel?” his finger slid all the way in, “right here?” 

Your eyes rolled back as he finally gave you what you wanted. His finger rubbed against your g spot immediately, making soft moans escape your mouth. “Does that feel good?” 

“Yes” You whimpered. He smacked your thigh. “What was that?” He said roughly, looking up to meet your eyes. 

“I’m sorry, yes it feels good sir.” 

Satisfied with your answer he slowly pumped his finger in and out of you, rubbing your clit in tight circles with his thumb. Before long you were thrashing on the sheets, hands gripping the pillow above your head. Your stomach fluttering as you neared your climax. 

“Are you a good girl?” Tim questioned.

“Yes sir.” you cried out, “please let me cum, please sir.” Your voice was shaking as you tried to control yourself. Out of nowhere he pulled away, licking his fingers as he watched you kick your legs in frustration. 

“What the FUCK Timothy!” You shouted as he got off the bed and walked to his desk. Laughing to himself he reached into a drawer and pulled out a condom. 

“Gotta be safe right?” He said with a smirk on his face.

You sighed. “I thought you were just going to leave me there.”

“That's only if you’re a bad girl but you've been good for me so far, so good that I’ll give you what you want.” He said sliding into you. He leaned down and kissed your forehead as you both caught your breath. Once you adjusted to him you tapped his shoulder to move. 

“You feel so good wrapped around me angel.” Tim whispered softly in your ear, as he thrust his hips into yours. Finally getting what you needed. You wrapped your legs around him pulling him as close as you could. Your lips met in a heated kiss as the knot in your stomach grew impossibly tighter. His hips snapped into yours at a steady rhythm. Your legs trembled as your orgasm approached at a blinding speed.  

Your hips moved to meet his every thrust.  

“Tim I’m gonna cum.” You said breathlessly 

“Just wait angel one more minute.” The pleasure almost overwhelmed you but the need to be good for him won out. “I want you to cum with me in 3,” your nails clawed down his back, “2,” your eyes fluttered shut, “1.” He growled in your ear. 

Your stomach contracted as your body shook with pleasure. His hips stuttered to a stop but his hand kept rubbing you, prolonging your orgasm as long as he could. 

You finally pushed his hand away, the feeling getting to be too much. You both lay there next to each other, catching your breath. 

“So does this mean we’re together?” You asked, your voice small. 

He rolled over to look at you, a big smile on his face. “Definitely.” 

[yn-x-animeboy]

Jungkook x y/n (as a famous artist) Pt.5

pairing: reader x Jungkook

genre: fluff, romance, for entertainment purposes

BTS x Fem Reader

synopsis: You are a popular artist in America, pretty famous, loved and well-known by the general public (actually you were one of the top 10 artists in the world but you are pretty humble and naïve to realize your popularity), one day during one of your fan meets you talk about how much you love BTS, and not only how you wish to meet them and work with them but how Jungkook is one of your celebrity crushes. During the meet you fangirled with other ARMYs in the crowd; video clips of you fangirling and talking about BTS at your meet where posted and reposted all over social media. This obviously broke the internet because you were not only a famous singer but you also were always accepted and loved by ARMY and this made a lot of people happy. Suddenly it felt like everyone wanted you to meet the seven handsome and talented idols and collaborate, but you could only wish, you believed they didn't even know who you were...or so you thought

part 4: here

-----

Part 5- TIME SKIP

(a/n I will do another time skip so it wont turn out to be a 500 part fanfic)

Mini Billboard awards recap:

After the drunken hotel chaotic night you all were late for rehearsals, both your and BTS’s staff looked for you guys’ everywhere in the morning and the last place they thought to look for you all was in Jin’s room. Let's just say it was in general an interesting experience to find eight adults sleeping soundly in uncomfortable random positions. 

You all finally headed to your rehearsals for the performances. They invited you to watch them rehearse when you were taking a break from your own rehearsal. Even though the guys were tired, hungover, and their muscles ached from sleeping all over the place; they did such an amazing job at rehearsal, they were so professional. 

During the live award show your fans and ARMYs lost it everytime you guys would interact during the awards; the fact that you had met them last night and you all seemed to be such good friends now made fans so happy. Once again your name and BTS’s were going viral on social media; a bunch of ‘fancams’ were filmed and posted focusing on you all. 

You and BTS won all the categories you we’re nominated for that night and your performances went great too. That night after the award show ended, instead of going to the Awards After Party, you all decided to not go and instead hung out in Jin’s room again for the night. You ordered room service and champagne (this time everyone was only allowed to have 2 glasses max.).

After being all drained form the long day, you all went to your personal rooms. Jungkook again offered to take you to your room. When you arrived at your door you turned and looked at eachother,  this time sad smiles painted your faces, you had held in the tears when you where in Jin’s room because you felt sad your first real friends in the industry were going back to Korea tomorrow just like that.

Now you were standing in front of Jungkook, the man of your dreams, a literal fantasy that came true all thanks to your fans and supporters; you couldn’t help but tear up at the thought of letting someone like him go. 

You broke eye contact and turned towards the door to hide your tears, a small sniff from behind you made you stop dead in your tracks. Jungkook turned you around and hugged you tightly as he hid his face in the crook of your neck. You also wrapped your arms around him in response.

He loosened his hold and avoided eye contact with you as he was getting more and more emotional, his eyes where red and glossy; he cleared his throat and said “Well I think I should get going, It was so nice hanging out with you y/n- and meeting you, good night” he gave you another tight sad smile and walked off with his head hung low. 

You reached him and held onto the back of his shirt, “Don’t go....” you sniffed and played with the back of his shirt. “Do you want to.. maybe... hang out a little longer? O-only if you want to” you said awkwardly, but he smiled and nodded.

You went to the terrazze you had visited just the day before and sat on the outdoor chairs. You sat there talked all night. You stayed up until you could see the sun slowly rising; you both stood up, taking the sunrise as a sign to go back inside. Before you could even begin to move towards the door, “Y/n, can I hold you one more time?” Jungkook said, he was trying so hard to smile and not make you cry, but his little voice crack as he said it betrayed him. You sobbed and hugged him again, after a while he sat down, sitting you on his lap. You stayed like that until you received a “wake up” phone call from one of your staff members.

----

In the morning you all met each other outside the hotel, the boys said goodbye to you one by one hugging you and saving your phone number in theirs.  They even made plans, comparing your schedules and timezones, so that they could all facetime you daily.

While you waited for your assigned cars to pick you up, you all teared up and  huddled together saying goodbye once again. Paparazzi were peeking through the crowd of security and staff members to get an insight to the sad goodbye. 

----- time skip ----

It has been almost a year since the Jimmy Fallon Show. Even though the distance made everything more complicated, the guys have done everything in their power to make time in their busy days to dedicate time for you. After almost a year of daily video call conversations and catch-ups you have become such good friends, they even call you ‘yeodongsaeng’ (little sister) now; (the only one who doesn’t call you that is Jungkook tho, he calls you by your name or by random nicknames).

They have kept their promise after all this time, they facetime you EVERYDAY, they have never missed a day where they don’t call you, sometimes not all the seven members can be there for the call, but even if there is only one BTS member available, you WILL recive a call from them. 

You also have individual calls with the guys from time to time: 

Jin calls you once in a while when you are making dinner to help you/guide you and or just talk to you. 

Suga calls when he is stuck writing lyrics or creating beats for new songs, or just for musical advice. You are always the first to hear new BTS music now.

Jimin calls when he feels like talking, you have become each other's personal psychologists

J-Hope calls you every couple days to have “lunch together” through a screen. 

RM calls you too to chat a lot, you both recommend each other good books and even exchange lyrics from time to time. He also asks you to revise english lyrics to make sure they sound okay.

Taehyung calls you for pretty much everything: for advice, opinions, to catch up, for help, to keep him company etc.  He always knows how to make you laugh, and regularly interrupts your calls with other members.

Jungkook…. He doesn't just call you “sometimes”, he  not only  participates in the ‘daily facetime group call’, but he also calls you everyday before you go to bed, no matter what time it is in Korea or how busy he is, we always calls and to wish you a good night sleep; keeping you company and not hanging up until you fall asleep. Plus you two constantly text back and forth 24/7. 

You loved calling the guys and catching up with them every day, those calls were the highlight of your day; but every time you got a phone/video call, text, mail, snap, ANYTHING that was sent by Jungkook, your heart always skipped a beat; you felt tingles on the tips of your fingers every time you answer back; you smile stupidly at your phone and even now can’t sleep without your nightly virtual tuck in from Jungkook. 

(Deep down you knew your ‘platonic crush’ had become a real crush but you still denied it because in your mind, still, dating him seemed something impossible, but after every conversation you two have had over the course of almost a year left no doubt in your mind, he was the one for you)

-----

One day, you visited your label’s building, you had a scheduled meeting pretty early in the morning, you had never been this early anywhere, it was currently 5:30 am. and you were just arriving.  Once you step into the meeting room you are greeted by the intimidating group of businessmen and businesswomen who are part of your team. Even though they are intimidating and powerful;  they are kind hardworking people; they really respect you and always listen to what you  want or have to propose. 

Walking in, you are greeted respectfully by them; the boss of the company stands up, gives you a side hug, and opens the chair next to his, inviting you to sit there, after you take a seat and your manager takes a seat next to you too. The meeting begins going over normal business stuff you don't really understand, (Sam would probably just translate the info later into simple words for you.) They talked about numbers, statistics and percentages until someone’s assistant said the ‘important person’ they had been waiting for was finally ready.

 You turned to the door as you expected the ‘important guest’  to come in through the door, but instead his video call was answered and projected on the room’s screen from a laptop. 

You recognized him immediately, he was BTS’s PD Bang Si-hyuk, he was the owner of BTS’s label company. You greeted him through the screen in Korean but he actually greeted you back in English before greeting your team.

the meeting’s summary: 

Bang Si-hyuk talked about how much BTS liked you as a person and as an artist; and how the Hybe Corporation also really admired and respected you.

He invited you to Korea next week to meet the Hybe corporation, and overlook some business proposals

He also offered for you to participate in RUN BTS, while you were there and hang out with the boys if you agreed.He hinted you would be seeing them more often, which made you more confused

You agreed to go and to visit the company and OBVIOUSLY to see the guys, but still, you were confused as to why this offer was being made, why now, why you, why?

After you kindly thanked him, you also asked why he was doing it. You were confused why make such a big deal for you to visit, and what he meant by ‘business proposals’ you were to overlook there.

Bang Si-hyuk tried to explain in short and simple words; he explained that:  Hybe and your label company had had meetings before, overlooking the possibility of merging part of your company under your name with Hybe, they were not only  interested in collaborating with you, but actually working with you. This would give you many more opportunities as an artist and for your label’s name. (your company has connections to other music companies in other countries too, but this time it felt more of a big deal to you than the others tbh) 

In conclusion if you agreed, and signed the contract; you could become part of the Hybe company while staying under your Label’s name

By doing this, it meant: 1. you had an extra contact in Korea (just like your company had in other countries) 2. extra work opportunities (thanks to your Korean speaking skills and influence) 3. possible future collaborations with BTS mainly, plus other K-pop artists 4. becoming a producer for other artists under the Hype record label  (something like what Suge does irl; you are now able to produce or work behind the scenes making music for you, BTS, and others. a.k.a your dream come true) 5. SO ON AND SO ON. 

You asked for the papers and after revising them with your lawyer and team you signed it, satisfied and excited tho what's to come.

You worked hard and finished all of your weekly tasks and even worked on things you had scheduled for next weeks. Before you knew it you were on your way to Korea…

You traveled on your  private plane;  you used it mainly to travel and avoid creating crowds in airports. (this was safer for you, your team and fans.)

When you arrived at Seoul, as you were getting off the plane and looked up after watching your feet as you went down the plane’s steps you saw seven boys stand out from the other people. They ran towards you and huddled around you hugging you tightly, they didn't let go of you, even as you all walked towards the assigned cars and again tightly rode the same car together like that one time after meeting on your way to the hotel. Staff members laughed at the Deja vú they felt as they saw a recreation of that chaotic day a year ago

It felt as if you all had never left each other, no weird silence, or awkward interactions, you all picked up where you left off.

When you arrived at the Hyde building, Hybe bilingual staff greeted you and your team, introducing themselves as the people who would be in charge of our care while visiting.

They took you and the few team members from your staff  traveling with you to one of the floors where they gave your team some temporary office cubicles, so they could do their jobs while away from their cubicles back in America.

The Hybe staff also showed you to a private studio/office next to Sugas’s, it was decorated for you, it was spacious, comfy and waay better than your studio/office from back home. They told you they wanted you to have a personal space where you could hang out or work, since it was probable you would now be traveling back and forth from Korea and the US, due to the new business alliance between your companies.

The guys showed you around the building and introduced you to many Hybe staff members. They all made you feel at home.

You visited PD Bang Si-hyuk at his office and met him in person. He was so kind and welcoming, totally opposite from what you were expecting. He told you how excited he was for you to be part of the team and to work with your company. He also asked you if you could record a short video for his nieces who loved you.

Then, after finishing the tour the guys took you to their favorite restaurant in Korea; they taught you how to eat Korean food, how to properly hold chopsticks and about general Korean culture.

They showed you to the nice building of apartments where they currently lived and where you would also be staying when you came here.

You all toured you apartment and hung out the rest of the afternoon, enjoying each other's company. 

After having dinner and chatting for hours the boys waved you off as they left your temporary home; they wanted to stay up and drink (again Jimin’s and Jin’s idea) with you but they knew you were super jet lagged from the time difference, fighting off sleep as you tried to enjoy your time with the guys.

They lived in the same apartment complex, but a different building, (a lot of famous Korean celebrities stay here too due to the security and convenience)The apartment complex was almost like a hotel resort or a private villa/island, it was huge, it had everything, form tennis courts, gyms, cafés, etc. It was also close to all the major ‘artist’ studios, sets, buildings. 

So once the guys left, all they had to do to get home was ride the elevator down to your building’s the main floor, walk a bit, enter their building, get on an elevator, go up a couple floors, walk a little more and then into their shared million dollar apartment that was a literal castle compared to your apartment. (your apartment was big and luxurious too, but theirs was a multimillion dollar apartment)

You just arrived and felt so at home, everyone was so nice and promised to take good care of you. Nobody looked down at you or your team for being foreign or for being the ‘new guys’. Everything felt again like a dream. One day you are talking about BTS to your fans, the next you meet them, the next you are making contracts with the company they work for, the next you will be working with them; What’s next?

For now you are in Korea for two weeks max. The plan was to introduce you to the company, talk about future plans, projects, etc., and once that is done, go back to America and every couple of months or weeks depending on the schedules, travel back to Korea, etc, etc.

----

You brushed your teeth as an uncontrollable smile painted your face. Once you got ready for bed and finished texting your staff members making sure they were comfortable and well taken care of  after a long day, you heard a knock at the door. You cringed at the noise, you felt as if you were hung over almost, in reality really you were just super Jet lagged (the day before coming here you binged watched a TV show in one night, packed just hours before leaving to the airport and ditched sleep all together before and during the plane ride...stOpid) You stumbled around the unknown apartment with the lights off towards the door; it was not that late at night but who would be looking for you right now.

When you looked through the peephole you recognized them immediately; their hair was now a little longer from the last time you saw them, they had different earrings decorating their ears, they seemed different, still super attractive, but that smile did not change at all, it was still that adorable bunny smile that seemed melt your heart every time. 

You quickly typed the alarm code, unlocked the multiple locks on the door and swung it open, revealing a nervous Jungkook, you had hung out with him and the guys less than an hour ago, but now he was nervous… (he was scared you changed your mind about him after almost a year from meeting and seeing each other in person, he was scared that he was not you celebrity crush anymore, he was scared that the real feelings he had developed form all your daily video calls, texts, random phone calls were not corresponded, he was scared that you had forgotten about those night at the terrazze, he was scared you had changed after a year).

As he stood frozen you couldn’t wait or control yourself any longer and you flung yourself towards him; you hugged him as tight as your body could (during all the time you hung out today you never once had a moment just the two of you alone) but as you leaped and wrapped your hands around him you started thinking about him and how he could be feeling right now and couldn't help but feel a little insecure, (what if he had come all the way back here to tell you whatever happened a year ago in New York at that terrazze was a mistake, that all the calls and texts were just friendly exchanges, what if he came to tell you you were better off as friends or worse.. better of as colleagues…)

It took Jungkook a split second to respond to your hug, you loosened your grip as those thoughts had sworn in your head, and after realizing Jungkook was not hugging you back, so you prepared yourself to get your heart broken… but that all went away as Jungkook wrapped his arms around you, he lifted you a little off the ground as you rewrapped your arms around him, hiding your your face in the crook of his neck. You inhaled his scent as he held you even tighter against him. He rocked your bodies lightly as you held each other in front of your door. 

After, you loosened the hold on each other, but didn’t let go, you looked into those beautiful dark brown eyes you had missed and had prayed to see in person one more time after all this time; He lifted his hands from around you and cupped your face, lightly stroking your cheeks back and forth with his thumbs. “hi” you said, just like that one time in that New York terrazze, “hi” he responded with an adoring smile as his eyes traveled through your face, looking at your every detail, he didn’t want to miss anything, h was so glad to finally see your face in person instead of on a 2-D cellphone screen.

 As you two stood outside looking at each other you suddenly  shivered a little from a cold air breeze that swooped by, it was pretty chilly outside compared to your comfy apartment’s room temperature, it was almost winter; you gently took your arms from his neck and wrapped them around you to warm you up. You had answered the door barefoot, in your pajama shorts and oversized flowy t-shirt without thinking twice. But you then realized Jungkook was wearing a short sleeve oversized shirt too, it was pretty chilly outside and he came all the back to your apartment not wearing a hoodie or jacket. 

“Omg Jungkook it's cold outside why wouldn’t you wear a jacket, jeez” you said as you pulled on his arm leading him inside the apartment to keep him from the cold. “Actually I came back here to get my hoodie back,” Jungkook said. A small “Oh…” escaped your lips as you switched on the light illuminating the once dark room “I see” you again said, almost whispering, avoiding his look as you walked deeper into the room to look for the missing hoodie. You felt disappointed almost, ‘he came back for his hoodie duh, why would he have bothered coming back to ONLY see you’ you though as you looked in the living room, you  didn't see the hoodie there so you then went to the small dining room next to the kitchen to see if it could be there, ‘maybe he took it off before we all sat and ate the take out dinner for dinner’. You spotted the black fabric neatly sung over the seats’s back where JK sat earlier.

Jungkook took off his shoes and tried to catch up with you before you could take the hoodie off the seat and after seeing your reaction to what he had just said; yes he actually did leave his hoodie by accident, but that wasn’t the reason why he came all the way back, so when he saw how your face dropped and heard that reply of yours, it gave him the courage to say why he came back. 

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat before saying “Um, y/n, actually, ‘me forgetting my hoodie’ was just an excuse to come back here and see you again” he swallowed and looked down at his feet. “I don’t really care about the hoodie, I wanted to come here and see what would happen; if you would be excited to see me alone, if you would be glad or happy it was me at the door, you have no idea how bad I wanted to be the first and only one to hold you as you got of the plane, how badly I wanted to run towards you, picking you up and not let go, how bad I wanted to spend the day just the two of us and just- um *clears throat again*”  he fiddled with his fingers, he was so nervous to admit that outlawed he didn't even notice you turning back to look at him as he  confessed. You found his actions to be so adorable and cute.

You giggled and stood in front of him, once you were closer you carefully took his fiddling hands in your left hand and used your right hand to lift his face up to look at you. “Thank you, you made me really happy by coming here to see me, I missed you so much too and couldn’t wait to hang out with you again, I only wished for an opportunity where only the two of us could hang out, but you took the courage to come all the way back here, thank you” you responded to him and his actions with a warm and loving smile that made Jungkook’s legs feel like giving out and heart feel as it could explode. 

He again  observed your face now under a brighter light, he couldn’t believe how your face could look so, or more, beautiful then you face with the light makeup you wore just hours ago. You broke eye contact and spoke, “So um do you have to leave anytime soon?” as you looked anywhere but his face. Your tired eyes and shy tone warmed his heart even more “No, I don’t….. why?” he lowered his face, closing a big gap of space in front of you, forcing you to stop avoiding eye contact and look at him again.

“Well um I was thinking we could hang out again tonight. I could make some…. *you yawn* popcorn and watch a movie, or I could make some coffee and we could talk, or…..” you wanted to keep going but you felt another yawn coming so you stopped talking to fight it off. Jungkook chuckled at your adorable yawns. He  took the hoodie he had forgotten in the first place form the chair behind you and put it over your head. 

“Y/n you are tired, I think it’s best if you rest and tomorrow we could find a way to hang out again just the two of us…” he said as he fixed the hoodie around you, but you cut him off, “Please don’t leave, I haven’t seen you in a year Jeon Jungkook.” you realized how needy and clingy you sounded, but you actually did want to hang out with him. 

You rubbed your tired eye, fixed the hair around your face (your hair was inside the hoodie but some baby hairs tickled your face) and looked back at him, his eyes were wide and surprised at your reaction to him leaving,  “I’m sorry, it’s okay, I get it. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t feel like doing, it’s okay...guess i will see you tomorrow then” you said as you tried to hide the sad look off your face and smile at him. 

He was moved, the fact that you didn’t want him to leave meant so  much to him, he took you face in his hands and kissed your forehead softly, he then kissed the end your your nose he then kissed the space next to your lips, he didn’t want to kiss you and make you feel uncomfortable or taken advantage of; but you being you, immediately spoke as he kissed the side of your lips ``aye that is not my lips...what a tease” in a sleepy tone. He chuckled as he opened his eyes and looked at you. You had your eyes closed, head slightly looking upwards and a smart smile, as you found your own reaction funny. 

He chuckled and blurted out: “cute..”. You opened your eyes to clap back, but before you could even open your mouth and say something back he leaned in again, shuting you up real quick…. but he leaned slowly…..very slowly…..v eee r y slowly…...SUPER SLOWLY, he was taking his dear time, he now discovered he liked teasing you like this. You got impatient and just closed the space between you for him, giving him a short peck before pulling away. This was the first kiss you have had after a year; you walked around him to tease him back for teasing you in the first place. He stopped you by placing his arm around your waist, “Are you expecting me to accept ‘that’ as our first kiss after being apart for a year…” he said. 

“Oh, so I’m not a good kisser? Was that not good enough.. okay… I guess I-'' you played the victim but were quickly cut short by Jungkook pulling the hoodie on you towards him and stealing a kiss from you.

You smiled against his lips at his neediness, but kissed him back as you placed your hands on the back of his head, sliding your fingers through his hair. He slid his hands under your hoodie and placed them on your bare waist, and pulling you even closer. You kissed each other slowly, taking in every detail about the kiss, not wanting to miss a thing; as things heated up you picked up the pace, the sweet kiss turning hungry and deeper. He moved his hands from your waist downwards and your once delicate fingers playing through his hair suddenly pulled softly making him groan against your lips; he squeezed his hands behind you making you whimper against his lips, he used this as an opportunity to deepen the kiss even more; he had lifted his hands and placed back on your sides as he softly caressed your skin under the hoodie, you wanted to to that too; so you slid your hands from the back of his head, down to his chest and too, under his shirt, you could feel his abs tense as your cold fingers lightly brushed against his skin, continuing to slide your hands around his torso, and gently running your fingers on his skin. That action made his breath hitch at his throat and his heart skip a beat. 

The two of you kissed passionately taking the other deeper, not wanting to let go. After a while you both slowly pulled away, breathlessly and numb from the kiss, you both wanted to go further but knew it was not time yet. You rested your foreheads together as you catched your breaths, looking adoringly to the other person, swollen lips, rosy cheeks and curious eyes. 

He spoke first, as he used his finger to soothe the skin under your eyes, “You need to rest y/n, come on”, pulling your arm and leading you. You thought that meant he was leaving, but this time you didn't fight him back; but instead of leading you towards the door he lead you to the big fancy couch in the living room, he turned on the TV to a random Korean variety show and lowered the volume to the point were if there isn’t absolute silence you couldn’t hear a thing the TV was playing. 

You both sat on the deep couch, he lent you his arm behind your head as a pillow as you sat closely next to him, the silent TV and warmness coming from the handsome man next to you quickly started to drowse off. Jungkook planned to keep you company until you fell asleep and then leave you to rest comfortably. 

JK watched the screen as he waited for you to fall asleep. Once he could feel your breathing rhythm became deeper indicating you officially had given in to sleep, he looked down to you and smiled at how adorable you looked, he stared at you for a little longer as he reflected on how lucky he was his once celebrity crush now actual crush was so close to him; he was so glad to have such an amazing person in his life and prayed he never had to be without you in his life ever again; he badly wished he could have you as his and only his but he understood the circumstances, he was happy he could athletes share precious moments like this with you. 

Jungkook shifted in his seat as he was about to stand up to leave you the full couch to rest, but you turned towards him, and wrapped your arms around him. “Don’t…” you whispered against his shirt, you were asleep but your sleepy conscience managed to say that. Jungkook couldn’t resist, he planted a soft kiss on the top of your hair, he then pulled you back with him from a sitting position to a horizontal one as he laid his back on the couch taking you with him without waking you up. He too quickly gave in to sleep as he held each other. 

---------

a/n: I'M SO SORRY for taking so long to update, I had writer’s block and had no idea how to pick up the story, but last night I got inspired hahaha. I re-wrote this part and started writing part 6&7 so wait for those too.

THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT, ILY :3 Xx

PART 6 ------> here

> NEXT PARTS WILL BE BETTER I SWEAR <3

[blackbat05]

Hope

Jimmy Woo x Reader 

A/N: I think if I’m stressed I just end up writing more as a source of comfort. Anyways, I have finally achieved my promise of writing a new character! I really love Jimmy Woo especially after his appearance in WandaVision y’all (please, he deserves more love). Again, I had an idea in my head and I just went along with it - the reader is basically living alone and with the blip, her mental health just takes another hit. Jimmy is there to support her and to also give her news that brings a little bit of hope to the reader. Not sure how it turned out but would appreciate if you gave a like or comment if you wish! Enjoy! 

Genre: PG 13 

Warnings: Mentions of drugs, struggling with mental health after the blip (this is pretty interesting and I would like to explore more if possible), two idiots having a crush on each other? 

‘Another late night?’ A cup of coffee is placed on your table. You look up to see that it belongs to your long-time friend and colleague from the FBI, Jimmy Woo.

‘Yeah,’ you groaned as you tried stretching your back against the chair. ‘Helped Agent Cortez from the DEA to chase down a few leads back in Detroit. I just got back at two in the morning,’ stifling a yawn. ‘What about you?’ You attempt to prolong the conversation. It was always nice seeing Jimmy to start the day right. Let’s just say that over the years, you developed feelings for this charming man.

‘Been the same old thing, board wants us to keep tabs on Maximoff,’ referring to the Scarlet Witch. You couldn’t help but to feel sorry for the former Avenger who was probably on the run now after causing the Westview anomaly. Glancing around the office, you realized there were more people starting to stream in. Not the best place for a private conversation. Standing up, you pointed upwards, asking him silently if he wanted to talk on the rooftop instead.

Your insides couldn’t have been more thankful for the warm brown liquid that trickled down your esophagus. Feeling a bit more awake, you decided to be more active. ‘Do they know that Captain Rambeau let Wanda go?’

He shakes his head, ‘Monica told the board by the time she got to where Wanda was supposed to be, she was gone,’ he looks at you, waiting for your reaction. ‘I know what you’re thinking but-’

‘Hey, I’m not Hayward. Anyone with two pairs of eyes and functioning brain would know that Wanda is not the villain that SWORD made her to be. I don’t know her but somehow I feel…’ You trailed off, not being able to find the right words.

You heard a lot about the sorceress through Jimmy’s nightly calls with you when he was in Westview. Just how could someone go for so long being so alone? His last call before storming into Westview was… impactful.

‘So you going to arrest her?’

There was a bout of silence before Jimmy gave a sigh, ‘To be honest, I don’t know. Monica’s in there right now so I trust her. But Wanda’s probably not going to stay in the States if she walks free. He tells you to give him a moment as he shouts in the distance to someone - a fellow FBI agent. ‘Hey, I got to go.’

‘Be careful.’

You cup your hands around the coffee, gazing into the distance. Like the FBI office, people were starting their day too. The day started to become brighter as the skies were tinted with navy blue specks. How long has it been since you were living here alone in Washington?

Jimmy tries not to intrude into your thoughts but as a friend who had knew you for over a decade, he wasn’t dumb. You were probably thinking about your family, a thousand of miles away from America. He remembers you bursting into his house after graduation, not caring about your tear-stricken face. Apparently your family wanted to move back to your homeland back in Madripoor.

But you were just starting out your career here, preparing to go to the police academy and all. It was your dream - hell, it was what you wanted. You felt pride serving people and helping others. People called you basic and naïve for having those thoughts, but it was that desire that kept you going till now.

Then the blip happened. As Jimmy sees the people below his apartment block vanishing into dust, the first person he thinks is to call you. It just kept going back to voicemail.

You’re in your new apartment that the Global Repatriation Council managed to arrange for you. It was a cozy two room apartment located on the fifth floor. You should have been thankful and you were, but just like how the lights were all switched off, you were spiraling into a vast land of meaningless thoughts.

Everyone had moved on without you. The moment you were dusted back into your old apartment back in Jersey, you immediately called your family to receive the biggest shock of your life. Your younger brother was caught in a shootout between the Vladivostok mafia and the local gangs at Club Azimut. What in the name of gods was he even doing there anyway?

‘I think it’s best not to come home for a while Y/N, your father-’

‘Thinks that it’s my fault,’ you finished the sentence for your mother. I couldn’t blame them. You were essentially a cop. Which made your brother a target especially in shit holes like Madripoor. Of course, your father was pissed beyond repair - B/N died and you caused it.

‘It’s ok mom, I get it. Take care of yourself ok?’ Before she could say another word, you hung up. The room was overwhelming the lone figure with its silence. Maybe that’s why you found yourself bursting into tears.

Jimmy walks to your apartment door, two bags of Chinese takeout in one hand. He slows down when he hears the muffled sobs. The door to your place was ajar. Pushing it carefully, he walks past the entrance to see your dazed figure leaning against the wall, unpacked boxes surrounding you. You don’t even notice that someone had entered your house.

‘What am I supposed to do Jimmy?’ It felt like your heart was stretched into every single direction every time you spoke a word. You couldn’t stop yourself from trembling. 

Jimmy puts the bags aside on the dining table, taking a seat beside you. He doesn’t say a word and the only sound that could be heard within your apartment was the honking of cars eagerly awaiting to get back home to their families. Reaching for the television control, he switches it on to a documentary channel, letting you lean on him. 

You realized that you had floated into a world of your own thoughts, leaving Jimmy standing beside you on the rooftop. ‘I’m sorry Jimmy, got carried away.’ 

He shakes his head as he continues to sip his coffee. That was what made Jimmy so comfortable to be around with. But you knew that as your best friend, you weren’t going to short change him - he had given you the time and space that you needed. 

‘Talking about Wanda just makes me think about Madripoor,’ you started, unsure of how to continue. ‘It’ll be eleven, twelve years of me living alone.’ You didn’t even bother to count anymore, what good would it do? ‘I dedicate nearly half my life to the force, believing that it was the right choice,’ you said, ‘but I lost the people around me instead. I just don’t know how long I can continue with all this,’ you waved around, referring to the late nights, the long stake outs and the dangerous situations that you were constantly tossed in. Sure, you were lucky to have good colleagues who made sure you didn’t get a bullet in the back but none of them were remotely close enough to share your emotional struggles that only increased since you were snapped back. 

Maybe except for Jimmy. 

He waits for you to go on but you seem to have finished. This was a good time to bring up what he had in mind that would probably kill two birds with one stone. 

‘The FBI does have ways of traumatizing their own in the most unexpected ways, but we can never really escape from it can we? Every time we put one demon down, more takes its place. I’ve been there,’ he pause, recollecting his own thoughts. ‘Facing these monsters can be scary but - I guess what I’m really trying to say is that you don’t have to do this alone Y/N.’ His heart skips a beat. He has to continue, there was no turning back. 

‘Monica’s going to be away for a while,’ he adds on, ‘Avenger stuff. Probably off-world. And Darcy, well... who knows where she’ll be?’ 

You waited patiently for him to get his point across. 

‘Director Fury knows about this but he wants an extra pair of eyes on the ground to watch Wanda’s movements. I can’t do it alone so I recommended you.’ 

Your brain cell freezes, trying to process the past few minutes. So you were potentially going from investigating drug cartels to assessing an Avenger level threat? And with Jimmy who knows you at the back of his head as your partner? The top of your mouth twitched upwards. 

‘I’m sorry if it was so unexpected. But seeing you like this, I thought you could use an energy booster.’ Jimmy had no idea where was this surging amount of confidence coming from. He imagines Darcy’s voice ringing in his head. Go get her tiger! 

‘Energy booster?’ You played along, teasing him at his choice of words. ‘I’m not sure if potentially being mind controlled by the Scarlet Witch would bring energy to me but I’m grateful.’ 

‘I’m hurt Y/N,’ he places his free hand over his chest in mock horror. ‘Here I was thinking that working with me everyday would bring some light into your life.’ Jimmy abruptly halts his sentence. What the hell were you thinking? 

Suddenly your coffee cup was very interesting to look at. You always had a crush on Jimmy but let’s face it - work romances never end up good. You didn’t want to jeopardize the friendship you had slowly build up with him for what - fifteen years?

A voice inside your head knocks some senses into you. Come on Y/N, he’s been with you through thick and thin! He knows everything about you, hell he even knows how you eat! Life’s not going to wait for anyone. So just take the leap of faith. It’s Jimmy here we’re talking about.

Just as Jimmy was dead sure that you were about to reject his offer, he meets your eyes that is now full of confidence. ‘Well if Director Fury thinks highly of me, I can’t say no right?’

Who cared about controlling one’s facial expressions, Jimmy was the happiest man in the FBI building. Phone beeping in his pocket, he checks the message. ‘Ah shoot, I got to go. SWORD’s demanding another meeting again. But I’ll catch up with you later? Maybe for dinner at the ramen place two blocks down?’ 

You tried not to get ahead of yourself but it was hard not to. ‘Sure, sounds like a plan.’ 

As you see his retreating figure, you couldn’t help but to think that maybe, just maybe, hope was not too far away. 

Finishing the last of your coffee, you threw your cup into the bin. Agent Cortez had just sent you a text as well - it was time to finish your last bit of the job before a whole new beginning. 

Crazy, but at least you had Jimmy. 

A/N: Still trying to work on my endings! HAHAHA~ but I really hope that somehow it brings a little comfort? I think I’m just writing (or trying to at least) comfort stuff to just have an outlet. If you have read up till here, thank you! Wherever you are, stay safe and healthy! If you need to talk, I think my inbox is open? I did set it to receive stuff so feel free! I’ll get back to you as soon as I can if you do! Lots of love~ 

P.S. IS FINALLY FRIDAY AND OCTOBER! Omg I want to join in the fun on Kinktober but 2 problems: 

1. I can’t do the obvious without being cringey (smut writers y’all the MVP) 

2. I only end my placement on the 2nd last week of October so I can’t do it like everyday TT or at least like frequently 

[ynscrazylife]

Hey could u do a jimmy woo fic were the readers a villain he has been trying to fined

The Secrets We Keep

Summary: Jimmy and Y/N are dating but they’re keeping secrets from each other. Jimmy’s secret is that he’s a SHIELD agent and Y/N’s is that . . . she’s what you’d call a villain. When he finds her, the story of why Jimmy transferred to the FBI is told. (This is pre-2014)

Permanent Tag List: @stephanieromanoff

MCU Tag List: @procrastinatingsapphictrash

Request to be on a tag list (or multiple) HERE!

I’m actually kind of proud of this one!

(IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Jimmy Woo shaking his head ‘no’)

"Agent Woo, we have a new mission for you," Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., Maria Hill, said as she approached Jimmy's desk. Her face was blank, unable to tell what she was thinking, and she held out a file to him.

Jimmy paused his conversation with his friend and colleague Agent Melinda May and turned to the woman, giving her a smile. "Oh?" He said, taking the file eagerly. His first solo mission in a while!

As Jimmy opened up the file, Maria started to explain. "You've been assigned this mission by Agent Pierce. We've been tailing this woman for awhile now and she escapes us every time. She was in S.H.I.E.L.D's custody before attacking some of our agents, escaping, and she took our information on her and gadgets with her."

Jimmy scanned the file. There was no picture of her, only a name (which was probably fake), Elizabeth Connor.

"Agent Pierce has been investigating and we think we know where she's going next: an abandoned S.H.I.E.L.D. safehouse no longer in use. We need you to go there and bring her in," Maria continued.

"Why was she in S.H.I.E.L.D's custody in the first place? And what makes you think we'll get her this time?" Jimmy asked.

Maria bit her lip. "Your first question - Director Pierce has told me not to disclose that information, not even I know the details of why she was in our custody," she admitted. "However, we think you can get her this time because we're trying a new approach: sending one Agent in, so as to not scare her off, but we're also giving you something we've been working on for awhile. She's an Inhuman with ice powers. Even though water beats fire, fire beats ice. We have a weapon that'll send heat flares at her to weaken her and a special serum that if you inject her with it, it'll block her powers," she said.

Jimmy nodded. "When do I leave?" He asked.

"Now," Maria answered.

------------------------------------------------------------

Jimmy was on high alert, having parked his car a few blocks away and now steadily approaching the safehouse, his new weapon at the ready. He recognized this safehouse - before it was used by S.H.I.E.L.D, Jimmy had taken his girlfriend here once for a weekend getaway. It was secluded, in the woods, and he smiled when he remembered it. He wondered what his girlfriend would be doing now. She didn't know Jimmy was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent - he wasn't allowed to tell her.

Jimmy was wearing a disguise so the woman wouldn't know it was S.H.I.E.L.D. and got closer and closer to the sarehouse. He picked the lock on the door and entered, seeing it relatively empty. He brought out his weapon but then immediately felt a chill in his side and was thrown to the floor. Not having expected this and not knowing where it was coming from, Jimmy started firing his weapon.

He scrambled to sit up and saw the woman, who was also in a disguise, running towards him. He had no idea where she had come from and immediately fired the weapon at her. It hit her in the stomach and made her falter, obviously not having expected this. It did weaken her like Maria said, but she managed to send an ice blast at Jimmy which threw his weapon to the side.

They continued to fight, neither one gaining the upper hand for long, and neither knowing who the other was. Jimmy had to admit, she was strong and was putting up a good fight even in her weakened state, but he had the upper hand. When she tackled him to the ground, Jimmy used that opportunity to grab the needle which was laced with the serum and injected her with it. After a moment, she slowly stopped struggling, and then went limp, unconscious. Jimmy pushed her to the ground and composed himself.

After taking a breath and observing the woman who was face-down unconscious, he grabbed his handcuffs from his pockets and handcuffed her wrists and ankles, before rolling her onto her back. Adrenaline was rushing through Jimmy's veins and he forced himself to calm down before pulling the mask off the woman's head.

His eye's widened and he couldn't contain his gasp. It was . . . Y/N. His girlfriend. He had just fought and handcuffed his girlfriend. Thoughts were swarming through his head and he leaned against the wall, needed a moment to think and compose his thoughts. Y/N was an Inhuman . . . who was in S.H.I.E.L.D. custody and escaped.

Jimmy looked back at her and guilt filled him. He had just knocked out his girlfriend! Even if she was a "villain" . . . The agent in him said that he should tell Maria and bring her back to S.H.I.E.L.D., but his heart protested. There had to be more to this story. Y/N was kind and loving and caring . . . she wouldn't harm a fly!

Jimmy got to his feet and carefully picked her up in his arms, carrying her over to the couch. Despite knowing that she wouldn't harm a fly . . . He couldn't help but doubt it. She never told him that she was an Inhuman, nor about S.H.I.E.L.D . . . Even if he wanted to have faith in her, did he really know her? Those were the reasons why he took the handcuffs off of her ankles but left the ones on her wrists, even if it hurt him and he was yelling at himself internally.

Jimmy then sat back in an armchair, thinking about all of the questions he was going to ask when she woke up. 

Sure enough, almost a half hour later, Y/N started to stir and Jimmy sat up, watching as she opened her eyes and looked around, and her eyes went wide when she saw her boyfriend. “Jimmy?!” She said. 

Jimmy frowned, not showing any emotion. With a breath and wanting to trust her, he revealed the truth. “I’m a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, Y/N. I wasn’t allowed to tell you and I was assigned on a mission to find a woman who attacked S.H.I.E.L.D agents and escaped custody. Help me help you,” he said, trying to be calm. 

Y/N struggled to sit up for a moment and when she realized it was because she was handcuffed, there were tears in her eyes. She could tell Jimmy wanted to believe her, but it would be hard with the evidence stacked up against her.

She took a deep breath. “I was going to tell you that I was an Inhuman. I came here, today, to try and figure it all out . . . Alexander Pierce wanted to use me for S.H.I.E.L.D. and approached me a couple years ago. I was excited to be an Agent but I soon found out I wasn’t. I was treated like a weapon. I don’t blame S.H.I.E.L.D., though, this was all Pierce who lied to me and used me. He kept me in a cell. I finally managed to escape and only ‘attacked’ agents when they attacked me. I just wanted to peacefully escape and get the information they have on me . . . I ended up grabbing a few gadgets, one of them being a cloaking device which is why you didn't see me. I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was you. I just wanted to be free, Jimmy,” she said, and when she finished she was crying. 

Jimmy frowned, deeply upset to hear this. Every part of him wanted so badly to believe her, to rip those handcuffs off of her wrists, say never-ending apologies, to hold her, and to punch Pierce. He stood up and walked over to the couch, sitting next to her and putting an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. 

“Y/N, I . . . I want to believe you-” he said. 

Y/N cut him off. “I know, you need evidence. I have that,” she said. 

The two engaged in a kiss and then spent the next few hours looking at evidence, having long conversations, and planning on what to do next.

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Rewatching Shameless and i just watched 6x1 jail scene. Can I request a meta if its not too much trouble? I feel like reading a really good meta about that scene and you're one of the best we've got so.....

It’s never any trouble at all! That’s so sweet to say—thank you so much! <3 Kind of coming to terms with the idea that anyone cares about my opinion over here. You guys are too much!

This scene is actually extremely important to me because it and the response to it were what made me start writing Shameless fanfiction, specifically when I saw that my views regarding Ian’s behavior and how Mickey received it were so vastly different from what I initially read. (Insert shameless plug for “That Milkovich Reputation” here.) Now, I know you’ve told me not to do this before, but based on the controversial position in which this scene resides, I feel the need to present a couple of disclaimers for our audience at large.

I first fell in love with Shameless last March, a couple weeks before quarantine began. I didn’t know what it was prior to that and therefore was not present when Noel left the show, so I didn’t experience the disappointment of a beloved character leaving in a potentially permanent way and didn’t engage in the fandom or see how deeply upset people were by that until after I finished the series. I also don’t subscribe to the theory that there was something going on behind the scenes or any animosity between Noel and the creators, as I have not seen any relevant evidence from reliable sources to support that what happened was anything other than decisions made in pursuit of career goals on both sides. As such, my analysis of this scene has only ever taken the content and context of the story and characters into account. I have no interest in speculating on the motives of people I do not know in writing it or portraying it this way, and even if I did, this scene made perfect sense to me as it was written and performed.

I understand and appreciate that this is not a popular position to take and urge everyone to pass this post by if my position on that matter is offensive or upsetting to you. I do not mean to tell anyone what to think or believe, only to explain how I view this scene and the context in which I do so.

That said, let’s begin.

When Last Seen: Mickey

As in all things, context is important. Prior to the prison scene, the last time we saw Mickey was when Ian broke up with him and Sammi interrupted their heartfelt moment, which basically sums up her character in a nutshell. That was a rough couple of days for Mickey. He saw how devastated Ian was to hear his family talk about him as though he were just like Monica; was distressed in his own right to return for him and discover that he’d left the base with Monica; buried his frustration and sadness by sleeping around with other people, which seemed to exacerbate those emotions because those people weren’t Ian, nor had he and Ian broken up when he did it; and came running when Ian called him, only for Ian to end their relationship.

Mickey is a very sharp man—we know this. He can read people like books and manipulate or intimidate them accordingly. He knew Ian had feelings for him in s1 when he showed up on his doorstep seeking comfort rather than going to any number of other people he trusted. He was well aware that Ian loved him in s3, and that made what he felt he had no choice in doing that much more painful. He heard what Ian said and knew what he was doing in 5x12. Of that, I have never had any doubt. It wasn’t like Ian tried to hide that he didn’t want to break up but thought that that was what would be best. In fact, the way he initially framed it always made me think that one of his highest priorities was not dragging Mickey down with him, especially in the aftermath of being called “destructive” and similar to someone who “put them through hell.” That’s why Mickey’s response wasn’t to call him an asshole or get angry or beg. It was to reassure Ian that he was there for the long haul, that he loved him and wanted to take care of him no matter what that meant—and that they could make that work. All the sentiments Ian had tried to communicate before he got married, Mickey was reciprocating in his own way. Had they not needed to temporarily write Mickey out of the story and Sammi hadn’t shown up right that second, I believe that he wouldn’t have given up so easily. We do have confirmation of that being the case in the prison scene, but we’ll get to that shortly.

When Last Seen: Ian

Ian isn’t a selfish character. We know this, too. However, Ian needed to be selfish by the end of s5. What he had to come to terms with wasn’t something that anyone could fully help him with, much as Mickey desperately wanted to. To Ian, the enemy was within. It was inside him, in his brain, telling him what to do even if that destroyed himself and everything he loved. It’s terrifying. I’m not bipolar, nor do I suffer from any other diagnosed mental illnesses, but I admire and respect everyone who wakes up every morning and tackles these things. They’re heroes every single day. But by the end of s5, Ian doesn’t feel much like a hero. Instead, he feels like the villain, and he’s lost touch with who he even is anymore.

That’s not a healthy mindset to have in a relationship. Relationships require a level of give and take, and that used to be something that Ian and Mickey already struggled with. Ian gave more in s1-3 because he was able to, while Mickey had a limit on what he could openly give because of the environment in which he lived and the manner in which he was raised. In s4-5, those roles were reversed: Mickey was able to give so much more, but Ian was gradually falling apart. Neither of them are at fault for any of those situations. It is what it is, and they have a stronger relationship for it. Ian is a giver, though. He’s always been a giver. To be in a position where he doesn’t feel like he can give anything to Mickey because he doesn’t even know who he is was truly heartbreaking for him, and objectively, he needed to take a step back so that he could focus on himself. He knew it. Based on Mickey’s understanding of Ian’s reasons after watching him deny that he had a problem for so long, I think Mickey knew it too. This hurt both of them—Ian to say it and Mickey to hear it—but they’re not fools and they’re not naïve. In some ways, they know each other better than anyone.

Jimmy said that when you’re on a plane, they tell you to put on your mask before you help anyone else with theirs. Ian needed to put on his mask. His heart can’t keep beating if his lungs don’t work.

Starting Season 6: Mickey

Unsurprisingly, Mickey has settled into prison life just fine. We’ll focus on his interactions with Ian in a bit as that’s the meat of the scene, but there are major implications inherent in his discussion with Svetlana beforehand.

1.      Mickey has accepted that this will be his reality for the foreseeable future. What else is he supposed to do? Besides, he’s known for a long time that the likelihood of ending up in prison was pretty high for him, as he alluded to in s2. He was a street thug. He stole from local stores, sold drugs, ran guns, operated a rub ‘n’ tug, created scam companies, and was a generally violent presence in the neighborhood for years. He was in juvie twice during the show, perhaps more beforehand. The unfortunate fact of the matter is that it would have been more surprising if Mickey didn’t get locked up at some point than that he did.

2.      Ian has visited Mickey before. We won’t get too deeply into this yet, but he thanks Ian for “coming back.” The other times, he wasn’t even paid to do it. So, as far as Mickey can tell, nothing has changed. Ian is focusing on himself right now, but his love for Mickey hasn’t dulled at all. That’s an encouraging thought, and it certainly puts a smile on Mickey’s face.

3.      Ever the opportunist and entrepreneur, Mickey really is doing just fine in prison. He runs a business, if you will, that appears to be quite lucrative already. This isn’t surprising either. Sadly, it’s a bad move. He’s already going to be in prison for somewhere around a decade, give or take a couple of years depending on his behavior. But his behavior isn’t good. He’s hurting people for money, and if he gets caught and brought up on more charges, not only will he serve the full fifteen years, but he could get more time added onto that.

4.      Ian is aware of this arrangement. He has to be if he’s been going there with Svetlana, and they weren’t exactly hiding what they were talking about. Ian has been very consistent throughout the series: he’s not as concerned with the moral implications of Mickey’s behavior, just how it could potentially impact their ability to be together. He still cares about Mickey at the start of s6, and Mickey can see it on his face when he won’t say it out loud. (More on that shortly.) Once he’s in a better spot mentally, maybe they would have gotten back together had Mickey been on the outside. I’m of the opinion that they would have based on the context of the situation. It isn’t an option, however. This is Mickey’s reality, and he’s not doing everything he can to get out earlier. If anything, he’s tempting fate on not being released at all. (This, in hindsight, sounds rather similar to the issues they’re dealing with right now in s11.)

So, this is where Mickey stands at the start of the season: a prison hitman who is quite pleased that the man he loves has come to see him again, even if the latter is visibly not in a very healthy mental state.

Starting Season 6: Ian

Ian isn’t in most of 6x01. What we do see of him is typically sad or colored by his frustration, outside Carl’s welcome home party at the end of the episode. Even then, there’s an aura of discomfort that accompanies the family’s knowledge that things have changed. Carl came out of juvie a different person—they’re all different people after s5, and they’re not sure how to handle walking on eggshells around each other.

From the very start of the episode, we see that Ian is still struggling even though he’s had enough time to at least partially adjust to his medication, especially if he’s been on and off of it. It’s so sweet how Fiona gently wakes him up—it’s also a bit different. What happened to banging on the bunk bed and yelling for them to come down for breakfast? After behaving pretty normally with Debbie at the bathroom door, she’s almost handling him with kid gloves, and the punches keep coming when she reminds him that he (1) has to get up for work at a place he despises and (2) needs to remember to take his meds.

The kitchen scene is extremely telling of where Ian is at this point, and it partially shows why he’s somewhat standoffish by the time we reach the prison scene. Most of the family is gone or different. Fiona is repeatedly on him about meds and getting to work on time—Ian, Mister Responsible himself who was out of the house before anybody woke up to get to work on time as a kid. Lip is at college. Debbie is absorbed in her unconfirmed but likely pregnancy. Carl is in juvie, and Liam is playing with the switchblade he found under Carl’s pillow before they take him to pre-K. His entire support system is either gone or treating him like he’s broken. All he has is Fiona “going Fiona” on everyone. It’s clear that this is impacting him because he actually derails the conversation to say that they should go visit Carl the following weekend, which was the position Debbie used to be in when Fiona was in jail. Just like Lip shut her down, Debbie shuts Ian down, and he doesn’t say another word as he drinks his coffee—which he can’t finish because Fiona is once again on him about work, so he trudges out the door to another day of being a busboy with no dreams instead of a soldier who has a future.

Work isn’t much better. Svetlana wants him to go see Mickey when he’s determined to stay away. (We don’t have confirmation, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that he wants to distance himself if Mickey is doing something that will potentially get him into even more trouble, especially given some of his reactions at the prison.) Sean is sending Fiona to nag him about not moving fast enough when the diner isn’t even busy. When Otis is chased down by the cops and slammed against the front window, Sean rather condescendingly tells him to, “take your rag and wipe the blood and snot off the window.” Ian—West Point-aspiring, ambitious, courageous, caring, intelligent, hardworking Ian has been reduced to wiping up someone’s snot by a boss who’s living in his house with a sister that’s treating him like he’s shattered glass and a family that is growing further and further apart these days.

That is the day Ian has had before he even arrives at the prison. Odds are that that is how most of his days have gone for quite some time, minus the blood and snot. …Maybe.

The Prison Scene

Now we come to it: what you actually asked about! It’s taken this long to get here because we can’t possibly interpret this scene effectively without incorporating all of what came before it. Mickey’s position is regrettable, but he knows that Ian still loves him and is at least handling his situation with all the grace and competence that we can expect from him. Ian is a bit of a mess who’s had a bad day and is now faced with the man he loves, who he is telling himself he can’t be with, sitting behind glass—where he’ll be for a good long while.

I’m going to divide this analysis into two sections. For a scene that many prefer to forget, to me, it’s a masterpiece of storytelling.

Physicality

The body language in this scene is remarkable—phenomenally blocked, phenomenally directed, and phenomenally portrayed.

When Mickey first appears, he’s visibly chomping at the bit to get to the visitation area. He’s peering out there while he’s still behind a locked door, and he only diverts his gaze to the guard because he’s waiting for him to unlock it. He’s cool about the whole thing—he’s very cool—but he’s obviously also here for one reason and one reason only. That reason is where his eyes go the moment he sits down at his stall and spots Ian’s coat where the latter is pacing behind Svetlana. Throughout their entire conversation, we see his eyes darting to Ian as he attempts to get the business out of the way so that he can indulge purely in the pleasure. It doesn’t matter to him that Ian is visibly tired and reluctant to be there or that he plays with Yevgeny instead of actively joining their conversation. It’s Ian, and all Mickey has to look at in here is a bunch of fellow thugs he hasn’t loved since he was too young to know what that meant. Damn right, he’s going to shamelessly watch him.

In Ian’s pacing, where we can’t see his face, I find it interesting that he keeps himself angled away from the glass. We see more of his back even though he’s moving side to side rather than away. He doesn’t want to see this. He doesn’t want to be there. In s7, he told Mickey how hard it was to see him behind glass—that wasn’t an excuse. He wasn’t falsely trying to make it sound like he was suffering at their separation just as much as Mickey was. We can see that that’s the case right here in 6x01. Ian has never had a problem sitting still through difficult moments, not even when a potential court martial that would further ruin his life was on the table. But this? He can’t sit down. He can’t face that.

The first time he turns directly towards Mickey’s location is so that Svetlana can hand Yevgeny off to him, and Mickey is visibly loving the view. His expression gets a bit softer, and he ducks his head a little so that he can catch a glimpse of Ian’s face. He follows Ian with his eyes even though Svetlana tries to get his attention. What a blast from the past, right? Ian there with his son, taking care of him while he and Svetlana figure out their business? And just like before, he offers Svetlana all of the attention and input that he deems her worth—next to nothing. Ian’s over there. Ian’s keeping the kid entertained, playing with him and rocking a bit in their seat and leaning over his little shoulder to make sure he’s doing okay—but forget that, Mickey’s eyes are examining him from red hair to beat-up shoes. He only glances back to Svetlana because he has to in order to get the information for their next paycheck. Even then, he’s still back and forth, up and down.

And Ian? He can’t keep pacing. He can’t stay turned away, but he won’t look. He occupies himself more than Yevgeny because now he’s low enough that he won’t just see an orange jumpsuit—he’ll see Mickey, and he’s had a bad enough day with his family making him feel more alone than ever without adding that pain on top of it. (This is the third time Mickey’s been locked up for something directly or indirectly related to Ian. I’m sure it’s not unreasonable to suspect that he also feels somewhat guilty about that, especially when it happened right after he broke it off.)

When Mickey asks if Ian is going to sit back there the whole time and not interact with him, Svetlana turns around and presumably says something to get his attention. Their eyes meet, and Mickey gives him a look that clearly says, “What the fuck, man?” This isn’t the behavior of a man who is heartbroken at their relationship ending or questioning Ian’s love for him. This is the behavior of a man who wants the love of his life to get his shit together enough to come say hi to him—or at least look at him—because he can’t pretend that he doesn’t want to see Mickey as much as Mickey wants to see him. It’s impossible to hide that when Ian has let Mickey see so much of his heart over the years.

Ian’s response is so fascinating because he does meet Mickey’s eyes, and he holds that connection for a moment. Then, reading what Mickey is trying to tell him, he actually turns further away again so that Mickey gets his shoulder. This sets the stage for the rest of Ian’s development from now through s9. He’s doing what Ian does: he’s compartmentalizing. He’s taking the emotions he can’t deal with right now, wrapping them in tissue paper, and neatly stacking them in a box that he’ll put up in the attic where he can pretend they don’t exist. But they do. They really do.

If they didn’t, he wouldn’t have spent their entire conversation trying so hard to focus on literally anything but Mickey, because as we saw in the Hall of Shame flashbacks and as has been obvious since their first fight-turned-fuck, once they look, the battle is lost.

Dialogue

I’m going to be real with you guys: I adore this scene. I’ve watched it more times than I can count even though I haven’t rewatched much of the season in its entirety. There was so much said with so few words, and while I was sad at the end, I was also hopeful. This was an impossible position to be put in on both sides, and I truly believe that this was the best resolution they could get at the time. And yes, it hurt. It was painful. But why was it painful?

Because they’re so visibly, obviously, irrevocably in love.

Mickey’s tone when he tells Svetlana to leave because he wants to talk to Ian isn’t as harsh as it’s been for the rest of their visit. There’s such a disconnect between his words and tone: roughly telling her to scram while actually sounding a bit younger at the idea of speaking directly with Ian. Svetlana could tell. It’s so clear, and her smirk is super knowing. In that moment, we’re seeing the woman who stood in the doorway of what was supposed to be her bedroom and watched him make eyes at this unconscious boy she didn’t really even remember. Not in the tears and realizing she was in big, big trouble if he left her, but in the understanding that his heart isn’t in the body on the other side of the glass—it’s sitting behind her. There are a lot of things I don’t like about Svetlana as a person (as a character, she’s amazing), but since they reached their agreement in s4, she’s never had a derogatory thing to say about the love those two share, and I respect that. It’s actually a bit cute how she takes her time and is almost teasing in giving him what he wants. A bit.

As I have this scene running on repeat so that I don’t miss anything in writing this, I paused to type and ended up on such a meaningful glance at Ian’s face. Svetlana just took Yevgeny from him, and he hasn’t gotten up yet. He’s staring straight at Mickey, and he looks hesitant. Scared, almost. Then he looks up at Svetlana, nods a bit, and reluctantly moves into her spot.

Is it overkill to take this one exchange at a time? Probably. Am I going to do it anyway? Hell to the yes.

1.      “Thanks for coming back.”/”Yeah… Svetlana paid me.” – I know that people hate this line and think this is painful. I know that it objectively is painful. I still laugh every time. Not because Ian agreed to come if he was paid. (He’s got medication to afford and no insurance. I can’t begrudge him wanting to make a few extra bucks any way he can.) Not because of the words, but because of what accompanies them. Ian will not look at Mickey—he’s lost so many battles lately, and he can’t lose this one too. Not when he started this one himself. He’s hemming and hawing, not looking up from the countertop and then twisting around to see if Svetlana is still there or anyone else is listening. It’s so stupid, because literally no one cares, but it gives you this sensation that Ian sees himself as being under a microscope the whole time. That’s his life anymore, at home and at work and now here. And Mickey? He doesn’t look terribly broken up about Ian accepting payment in exchange for coming. He gets this expression that I interpreted as, “Seriously? You’re playing it like that?” Then it settles into disappointment that Ian won’t open up or look at him like he normally would—that the glass interferes with the magnetic pull between them. But don’t worry, children. Uncle Mickey has just the thing to fix that: himself.

2.      “You look good.”/*awkward silence* – I mean…what do you say to that? I actually felt so bad for Ian there because what must he have looked like these last visits if Mickey is telling him that he looks good now? What kind of mess was he then when he’s still sort of a mess today? And he can’t even return the sentiment because how can he? Mickey is in prison. He’s in a jumpsuit looking at being here so long that he’ll probably have a few grey hairs starting to grow in when he gets out. I don’t know how to respond when people tell me I look good on an average day, so I can only imagine how that must have felt in his position. And still, he won’t do more than glance in Mickey’s direction. Well, if that didn’t work…

3.      Mickey chuckles and says he got a new tattoo. Ian’s eyes immediately shoot upwards, and Mickey slouches a little so that he’s in their direct line of sight—to hold them there, because once they look, the battle is lost. And Ian does lose. For a while there, he can’t look away again. First, because Mickey is courting some pretty nasty illnesses with his improper use of needles. Seriously, Mickey, a beautiful gesture but holy crap. Second, Mickey has his name (or a very close approximation to it) tattooed forever right over his heart. Ian had asked if Mickey was going to marry him, and Mickey told him to fuck off, but everything he’s doing points in the opposite direction. He promised sickness and health; now he’s made a permanent mark on his body for everyone to see. Mickey, who wouldn’t be seen in public with him once upon a time, has plastered Ian’s name onto his body. Ian tries so hard not to let that impact him, but it’s over. He’s lost the battle already, and he falls further and further. He’s smiling when he tells Mickey it looks infected, he teases him about the misspelling (which I think says more about how much that tattoo must have hurt than any inability to spell on Mickey’s part—I’d have a typo too), and he laughs at Mickey’s irritation that he messed it up. And it’s this sweet little laugh, not cruel or hurtful or mean. The wonderful thing about humor is that it can be used to cope with difficult emotions. We’ve seen a lot of people on the show start laughing when they’re in a bad place. Ian has been trying so hard to accept his life as it is even during the shitty day he was having. He tried so hard not to let himself fall into the trap of letting his love for Mickey rule his actions in the scene so far. That’s a lot. That’s denying himself to the point where I’m sure it hurts. And so he laughs, because Mickey did this crazy, absurd thing for him and yeah, it came out wrong, but he did it. This was all Ian wanted once upon a time (minus the felony), and now he has it—but he can’t have it. So he laughs. He immediately moves to hide it, but he laughs. He smiles more and has to bend away to pretend that he’s not—and Mickey lights up like a goddamn Christmas tree. This is the moment that keeps me from seeing this scene or Ian’s actions as being cruel. They’re both hurting, and this is an awful position to be in. But Ian loves him so much, and Mickey was doing everything he could to make him show it. Not exactly how he saw that going, I’m sure, but he’ll take it.

4.      “Been thinking about you.” – Knowing that he lost that one, Ian looks away again. While the end of this scene will hurt for both of them, especially Mickey, think about the pain he must be feeling in that moment simply because he’s not. He’s not hurting. For the first time that day, he feels good. This can’t last. Mickey isn’t coming home with him when time is up. This wonderful emotion that filled him up enough for him to laugh and smile after such a bad day will be gone the second he hangs up that phone. Then he’s going to go home and have Fiona breathing down his neck with nobody else for support. And Mickey will be here—behind glass. He can’t handle that, and he pulls that box out again and starts tearing off the tissue paper. He has to get rid of this feeling. He has to be the one to put it away before it kicks him to the curb. He’s stubborn, and Mickey can see him shutting down but also knows that he’s knocked enough bricks out of Ian’s walls to say something softer, something emotional and closer to the heart. Something he is willing to say where the other inmates can hear, which I don’t think is lost on Ian since he immediately looks up again. He doesn’t look away either, not even when Mickey asks if Ian thinks about him. He glances to the side and opens his mouth a bit, but nothing comes out. Mickey knows the answer.

5.      “Gonna wait for me?”/”You’re here for fifteen years.” – There’s this thing Mickey does after he first says that. He chuckles, because he knows that that’s pretty unreasonable to ask and has already predicted Ian’s response. His comment about being out in eight is lighthearted, a serious matter spoken as a joke because…this isn’t juvie anymore. They’re not going to see each other in a few months. This is Mickey’s version of what Ian was just doing, only where Ian tried to withdraw and escape within himself, Mickey is making it more humorous. He’s always done that, make light of pretty serious things to avoid looking at just how messed up it is. But I didn’t get the feeling he was really asking for Ian to wait that long. Instead, I got the feeling that he was testing the waters, seeing if Ian would shut him down—which he didn’t. He offered the bullshit excuse that Mickey tried to kill a member of his family, and Mickey saw through that immediately. I think he knows that he can’t ask Ian to seriously wait and never be with anyone else for fifteen years, or even for eight. I think he knows what he’s saying is a touch absurd. He also knows that Ian’s excuse is extremely absurd, and he doesn’t buy it for a second. It gives him a little courage to do something…well, a bit absurd.

6.      “Will you? Wait? Fucking lie if you have to, man. Eight years is a long time.” – I think the important part of this isn’t that Ian says he’ll wait when he doesn’t mean it, which is the popular take. For one thing, I don’t think we can ascribe that level of calculated behavior to Ian in this instance. There are a few things about this part of the scene that mean a lot to me: (1) Ian doesn’t get up and go. He doesn’t even move in that direction. He sits there with the phone after the buzzer sounds and before Mickey tells him to lie. His mouth opens and closes like he’s not sure what to say. Because what can he say? If Mickey serves the maximum, Ian will be in his mid-thirties by the time they can be together. At that point, he was either nearing eighteen or just turned. I still can’t fathom what I’ll be doing in my mid-thirties, and I’m a whole lot older than that. Ian looks just a little terrified here, and that’s because he knows he loves Mickey but has no clue what he’s supposed to do with that in the impossible circumstances they’re operating under. (2) Ian can’t even see himself moving on yet. He’s still trying to figure himself out, not think about a relationship. He has a job he hates, and his family is a different brand of chaos these days. He feels alone, yes, but not in a way that has him openly desperate for a relationship. Based on what he says to Mandy about Caleb, I think it’s pretty safe to assume that he doesn’t think he’ll ever be in a serious relationship at this point or even in a position for more than casual sex anytime in the near future. How can he say that he’ll wait when he doesn’t know where he’ll be whenever Mickey does get out? Maybe he’ll feel better. Maybe he’ll be out of his mind, roaming all over the place like Monica. Maybe he won’t just be standing on that bridge. It’s a huge question, one that has a lot of ramifications no matter what his answer is, and Ian clearly has none. He’s blindsided by that, which Mickey sees. That’s when he gets serious about those eight years, about how absurd their situation really is. That’s perhaps the first and only time in this scene where we can see that, for as successful as he is at navigating prison, his freedom means something to him. His freedom means he wouldn’t have to coax a glance out of Ian—he could kiss his dumb ass and make him stop being stubborn about how much he loves Mickey. But he can’t. He won’t be able to for a long time. And I think that is what really breaks his heart in this scene, not…

7.      “Yeah. Yeah, Mick, I’ll wait.” – Did anyone else notice how Ian swallowed hard before he answered? How his voice gets hoarse when he first speaks? I paused again to type, and the video is sitting on his face staring at the counter before the second part of what he says. He looks like he might cry. He looks like his heart is breaking just as much as Mickey’s is, because he can do what he’s asking this time—reassure him with a lie. Not because he doesn’t intend to wait, but because he is buried so far under what life has piled on top of him that he can’t see the light these days, and he doesn’t see waiting or moving on. He just sees the daily struggle of being this shell of a person. Of being without Mickey even if they’re not technically together. (Admittedly, I think he knew they would be if Mickey weren’t in prison at that moment. Ian has no real self-control where he’s concerned. Lip told him as much, and he’s self-aware enough to realize it, hence his behavior in this whole scene.)

When Ian hangs up the phone, he doesn’t get up immediately. He looks at Mickey—really looks at him—and each of them watches the other’s heart shatter. I don’t see it the way a lot of people do, though. On Mickey’s side, I don’t see it as being because Ian lied. I think it’s so much bigger than that.

Ian looks at him when they can’t hear each other anymore, and if he didn’t seem ready to cry before, he looks it now. Why? Because there’s nothing he can do for Mickey besides that. Ian, ever the giver, can’t give him anything. At that point, he couldn’t even help himself. He can’t be what Mickey needs in that moment, just like he couldn’t be what Mickey needed while he was sick, and it kills him. It kills him to know that by the time Mickey does get out, he’ll be older than he can fathom being and has no idea if he’ll even be around that long. It kills him to feel like even if he is, he’ll still have nothing to offer because, in his own words, this is where he lands. And it kills him to have to walk away and leave what he loves most behind glass.

Mickey is watching this. He knows Ian, and as painful as it was to get exactly what he asked for, it’s even more painful for him to see what him being here does to Ian. Where Ian is a giver, Mickey is a fixer. He makes things better. When stuff is broken, he puts it back together. When there’s a problem, he resolves it. Ian was going to leave because he couldn’t be an unacknowledged number three in Mickey’s life anymore? He jumped to solve the problem by coming out. Ian was acting strangely and wouldn’t get out of bed for so long that Mickey realized something was wrong? He immediately went to hunt down Lip, who he knows is closer to Ian than anyone else in his family. Fiona tells him that Ian is sick and needs to be cared for? He jumps in to do it, even to the point where it did more harm than good. Sammi caused a problem that Mickey couldn’t solve? He fixed the problem of her being there at all. But here he sits, behind glass, watching Ian that whole time and knowing that he was trying to maintain some emotional distance—and, because it’s Mickey, knowing why. There’s nothing he can do about this. He can’t fix it. For the first time since s3, Mickey is absolutely helpless to fix a problem. He takes a breath as Ian walks away as though he’s about to say something, but what can he say? What can he do? Nothing. He can do nothing but hang up the phone and weather the storm.

In the end, the heartbreak in this scene isn’t about them hurting each other, from my perspective. It’s not about Ian being callous and cruel or purposely trying to hurt Mickey. They know each other too well for that. They’ve been through too much. To me, this is about two people who love each other more than anything not being able to be what the other needed when they needed them—and that’s a whole lot more painful.

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch41: Drops Of Jupiter Part 2- There’s Still A Life To Live. 

Intro: Pepper finally makes an honest man of Tony, and as the sun sets on, quite possibly, the most horrific year of their lives, the New Year brings a familiar face back into Steve and Katie’s life.

But Tony has some news that puts a smile on his sister’s face. If only her husband was as happy…

Warnings: Bad Language words. Brief mentions of Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: @angrybirdcr​ I LOVE YOU

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 41 Part 1

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

October 2018

Despite Katie’s protestations to the contrary, Steve refused to believe that Tony and Pepper actually wanted him at their wedding. She had tried in vain to convince him to go but at times like this he was so stubborn and, ironically, the only man on the planet that could rival him for pig-headedness was Tony himself. So now she was doubly pissed at him. He knew that, and if he hadn’t already he would have certainly guessed it by the way she was currently throwing things into her bag after hardly speaking a word to him since the previous night.

FRIDAY informed her that Happy was here to collect her and Katie closed her small carry case. Steve sighed and went to pick it up for her, fully intending on carrying it to the car, but she beat him to it, swatting his hand away.

“I got it, its fine.” she said a little curtly as she did up her jacket. “Baby, c’mon, don’t leave on a bad note.” He pleaded, following her into the living area. “You know I get that you might think Tony doesn’t want you there, but I do.” Katie’s voice was quiet as she levelled him with a look. “And I was kinda hoping that would be enough to make you swallow your pride for once in your God-damned life” His face fell and the expression on it almost made her relent and apologise. 

Almost.

But the Stark stubbornness in her won out and she simply left it at that, slamming the door behind her. 

Steve felt like shit. Absolute shit as he stared at the place his wife had been stood a few moments before, the noise of the door banging shut still echoed round his head. With a sigh he swiped at his face with his hands before he headed into the bedroom, changed and wandered down to the gym to work off some frustration.

****

Katie glanced at her reflection. The bridesmaid dress she was wearing was an Alexander McQueen, as was Pepper’s dress, her favourite designer who hadn’t been dusted. It was a deep, burnt gold, almost brown to look at with a hint of a shimmer, perfect Autumn colours. The dress was plain, with a sweetheart neckline, the bodice drawing in her waist and the skirt was floor length, with a slight flare to it.  Her hair was twisted up and she wore a white gold headband which was studded with diamonds and pearls, her mom’s necklace that Tony had given to her on her wedding day sat flush to her collar bone. But all that aside, what she really loved was her make-up. It was all autumnal colours, eyes lidded under a burnt orange which had a slight golden shimmer to it setting off her green and amber eyes to perfection, and the contouring was amazing. 

Smoothing down her skirt once more, she looked down and stepped into her gold Jimmy Choo heels and stilled as a familiar voice spoke.

“You look beautiful.”

Her head shot up and Steve’s eyes locked onto hers in the mirror before she spun round to face him stood in the doorway.

“I thought you weren’t coming?” She frowned.

“I wasn’t.” He said shyly, stepping into the room “But, after you left yesterday I thought about what you said and you’re right. So I spoke to Pepper and well, here I am.” Katie looked him up and down. He was dressed in his blue suit and underneath it he wore a light green shirt complimented by a tie more or less the same colour as her dress, along with his shiny dark brown oxfords. Exactly the outfit she’d picked for him and left at the front of the closet just in case. With his hair immaculately styled, short stubble impeccably trimmed and a nervous smile on his face, he looked absolutely gorgeous.

“I’m so glad you came.” She smiled, all anger forgotten as she stepped forward and he met her halfway.

“I hate it when we fight.” He muttered, gently kissing her, his strong hands on her back, pulling her to him. “I’m sorry, Doll.”

“Well, well, look what the cat dragged in.” A familiar voice drawled and the pair of them turned to see Natasha leaning in the doorway, two flutes of champagne in her hand. She looked stunning in a knee length figure hugging bottle green dress.

“You look great Nat.” Steve offered, surprised to see a faint tinge of red flushing up the blonde’s neck and cheeks as she uttered a soft thanks before she looked at Katie.

“Came to let you know that Tony’s here.” 

Steve took a deep breath.

“Right, erm…” Katie tugged on Steve’s hand and took a glass of champagne off Nat. “Come on.” “Where are we going?” Steve frowned. “To see my brother, the pair of you need to get this out of the way before the ceremony.” “Baby, I-” “Don’t argue with me Steven.” she retorted, leading him down the stairs and out into the Autumn sunshine, across the lawn which was sporting a banquet tent and down the small path which had been lined with a gold carpet. Tony was stood at the end, under the arch which led into the tent where the reception would be held, directing people. As the Weather was nice, the actual ceremony was going to take place at the end of the wooden jetty. People were already settling on chairs on the banks of the lake.

Steve felt, and looked, like a deer in headlights when he caught sight of Tony. Katie squeezed his hand and whispered for him to relax as Tony, who had seen them approaching, started striding over to meet them.

“Well, don’t you look handsome?” Katie said to him, taking in his dark grey formal tail suit, ivory patterned waistcoat and ivory ruffled tie.

“Errm, shouldn’t you be with Pepper?” Tony asked, dropping a kiss to his sister’s cheek. “You look beautiful by the way.” “Thanks. Your gorgeous bride is just having her hair finished off and then I’m going to get her in her dress, but I wanted to come and see you first, we both did.”

“It’s a err, beautiful house.” Steve cleared his throat as he spoke and looked around. He’d never been before, and he felt ridiculously uncomfortable right at that moment for being a complete jerk. He should have done this months ago. "Well, it’s a bit like you Cap.” Tony replied, his eyes locking onto his brother-in-law’s. “Ancient, but nothing a little modernisation couldn’t fix.”

Steve let out a chuckle and took a deep breath. “Tony, listen, I want to apologize. For everything.” He swallowed a little before he continued.“What went down in Siberia was, well it was harsh, and I was out of order. I should have told you about your parents. I’m sorry, I really am.”

Katie held her breath, she knew how much that would have taken for Steve to apologise, so heartfelt as well and she knew he wasn’t doing it just for her. As she stood watching, she saw Tony bristle and she stiffened slightly.

“You should be.” Tony sniffed, but just as Katie was about to chastise him she saw his face soften, “But all that’s in the past now. You know, I get that Barnes wasn’t in control of his actions but I still can’t-” he stopped himself and took another deep breath ”Look, it doesn’t matter now, so let’s just say I understand why you did what you did even if I don’t agree with it. And I’m sorry too, Cap.”

Steve took a deep breath and gave a small smile. “I missed you Tony.”

“Yeah, well, that goes without saying because I’m so incredibly missable” Tony shrugged before he smiled “I missed you too, buddy.”

The two men shook hands before Tony gave a small huff and pulled Steve into a slightly awkward embrace, the two men clapping one another on the back.

Steve felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. As much as he had tried to deny it, Tony was like a brother to him and he had missed him. Plus, he knew how much it had hurt Katie them both being at odds. And he just wanted his wife to be happy and to move forward, past what had happened. As he looked over Tony’s shoulder he saw Katie watching them both, her eyes shining and she mouthed a thank you to him before she cleared her throat.

“Right, now that’s done can I leave him with you whilst I go do Bridesmaid stuff?” She spoke with a smile on her face that her two best boys were finally over their spat.

“Yeah, go ahead, in fact, I have just the job for you,Spangles.” Tony nodded, and the two men strode off, Tony’s hand in between Steve’s shoulder blades as they walked. Steve looked back at his wife as she strode across the lawns to the house before he turned his attention to Tony as they headed towards the lake.

*****

The wedding was beautiful. And whilst he really should have been thinking this about the bride, Steve seriously thought his wife was the most stunning woman there. As she walked down the aisle first, arm linked through Rhodey’s she caught Steve’s eye from where he was sat in between Banner and Natasha and he smiled at her, a genuine smile which she returned. When it was time for Pepper’s entrance, Steve glanced at Tony and couldn’t recall a time where he’d seen the man so happy, so emotional. 

The small ceremony was conducted, and it was time for Steve to perform the task Tony had given to him-signing the witness register along with Happy. It was a small gesture, but one which meant a great deal to the Captain.

Then, the rest of the afternoon passed in a bustle of photos, drink, food and speeches. Tony’s was slightly self-indulgent, as always, before he gushed about his new wife. Rhodey told plenty of stories about them growing up, and then it was Katie’s turn.

“As all of you here know, Tony brought me up from the age of seven.” Katie cleared her throat, glancing round at the various faces in the room. “Our parents died and suddenly there he is, twenty-one years old with a business to run and a pain in the ass kid sister to look after.” She scratched at her head. “My childhood was happy, I wanted for nothing, and that was all down to you.” She locked eyes with her brother. “Tony, I don’t tell you this enough, but I really am grateful for everything you did and everything you gave to me, least of all the absolute, unconditional love I have always felt from you. I know we have had our differences but you always told me that you could never be prouder of me if you tried, and I want you to know, that the feeling is mutual. I love you, not just as my brother, but as the best substitute father I could have wished for. And it makes me so happy to see you here today, after everything, with the woman that finally made an honest man out of you.” A few more chuckles, but Tony’s eyes were now wet with tears as he glanced up at her.

“Pepper has been a big part of my life for almost twenty years now, and I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d be happier with as a sister-in-law. But, you do know what you’ve let yourself in for right?”

Pepper laughed and nodded.

“Good, because he’s your problem now, good luck!”

Katie sat down as the room erupted into laughs and Steve pressed a soft kiss to her lips, gently wiping at her tears before they could ruin her make up.

As the night closed in, the Marquee was strung up with lights and wooden benches giving the place a warm, welcoming ambient feel. Far too soon for Katie’s liking it was time for the first dance. Tony clearly hadn’t told anyone she was performing as many puzzled faces peered up at her as she took the microphone in her hand and cleared her throat with a nod to the keyboard player who struck up the opening notes to Eta James “At Last.”

Tony’s face split into a grin as he offered Pepper his hand and the new Mr and Mrs Stark took to the dance floor, applause and camera flashes filled the tent as Katie sang, watching her brother and his new wife dance closely. In turn, Steve watched his wife, her voice s powerful and sultry, her eyes shining softly as she was watching Tony and Pepper revolve on the dancefloor. And then, as customary, people began to join them and Steve turned to Nat.

“May I have this dance ma’am?”

Natasha studied him for a moment before she smiled and slipped her hand into his, where he took her into a polite hold and steered them around the dancefloor, catching Katie’s eye causing her to smile.

When the song finished everyone turned to her and she flushed a little, giving a shy smile before she cleared her throat. “I’ve got one more.”

Tony frowned as he looked at Pepper who met him with an equally puzzled look, but when the band started to play, Tony’s face slid into a huge smile as Katie winked at him, before she once more began to sing.

“Now that she’s back in the atmosphere, with drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey…”

As she continued through the verse, Tony looked up at her, his eyes shining as he tossed his arm over Pepper’s shoulders, everyone in the tent gently swaying along to the song, and when the upbeat part kicked in, everyone hit the dance floor again.

Katie was now completely lost in the song that her and her brother had sung together so many times. She allowed the memories to wash over her as she sang, suddenly back in his convertible mustang cruising over the Golden Gate Bridge, then again dancing round in shorts and a bikini by the pool, then she was back in the kitchen, both of them holding wooden spoons to their mouths as make-believe mics. She sang out note after note and as she launched into the final chorus. Tony, who knew the song was coming to a big crescendo had stopped dancing to start winding the crowd up as she belted out the last bit of the song, eyes closed as she dipped slightly, hand extended by her side.

And now you’re lonely looking for yourself out there

The marquee erupted into a cheer and Katie smiled to herself, handing the mic back to the singer of the band who thanked her, drawing another cheer from the crowd. Steve walked forward and offered his hand to his wife to help her walk down the small steps from the stage.

“You amaze me every single day you know that?” His lips brushed her ear as the band struck up into a soul song and he led her towards the bar for a drink. She beamed at him, cheeks flushing from the singing and the adrenaline that had been pulsing through her veins at the fact she’d been stood on a stage, singing in front of a group of people for the first time since she could remember. He dropped a kiss to her cheek and she moved her head to catch his lips softly.

“Kiddo?”

At that she spun to face Tony, who didn’t say another word, simply pulled her into his arms and squeezed her tight, kissing the side of her head. She held him back, happily resting her head against his shoulder until he eventually released her, and then turned to head off over the dance floor to greet someone else.

“I saw you dancing with Nat.” Katie slid her hands up Steve’s chest as he ordered a beer and a gin and tonic, his jacket and tie now discarded on one of the chairs behind him.

“Jealous?” He arched an eyebrow, his hand settling on her hips.

“Not in the slightest.” Her hands connecting round his neck. “I thought it was one of the sweetest things you could have done. She’s been so down lately.” “She seems okay tonight.” Steve turned, watching the woman in question as she stood talking to Bruce. “Maybe she just needed reminding that there’s still life to be lived.” “That’s very philosophical of you, Captain.”

“I have my moments.” He grinned, looking back down at Katie, his hand on her hip pulling her closer. “Are you still staying here tonight or coming home?” “Undecided.” She teased, her hands resting on his chest, muscles broad and tense under her fingers.

“Well if you come back with me I’ll do that thing you like.”  His short beard scratched her cheek as he spoke softly into her ear.

“That’s blackmail.” 

Smirking, he kissed her softly. “I know.”

She did go home with him, and Steve was about as gentle and tender that night as she could ever remember him being. His lips were soft as he made sure to cherish every single part of her body. His hips rolled against hers, keeping them locked together, hands entwined together as he gently pinned them at either side of her head, eyes locked onto hers as he took her apart, piece by piece.

They lay there afterwards, Katie’s head resting in its favourite place on his chest, his hand gently running up and down her spine as she slept. Resting his head against hers, he closed his eyes on what had been a pretty amazing day in all honestly. He and Tony were back on an even keel, and being surrounded by people at the wedding, he couldn’t help but marvel at the love, friendship and happiness that had been present at the event. 

He hadn’t ever thought he’d see it again on that scale after the snap, and it gave him faith that, just like he had said earlier, there was still a good life to be lived.

*******

January 2019.

Steve pulled his jacket collar up against the snow and trudged across the car park towards the store entrance. A soft, white blanket covered the cars that lay abandoned after the snap, something he knew that the Government was going to have to sort at some point. Heading into the shop, he noted that it was reasonably busy compared to how it had been the last time he’d popped in a few weeks ago. He supposed that was a good sign. Grabbing a basket he headed straight for what they needed- milk, eggs, bread, bacon, fabric softener and tampons. Okay, so the last weren’t what they needed, obviously, more what Katie needed. She’d laughed when she had given him the list, remarking that this was the first time she’d ever sent him shopping for shit like this before offering to go instead, but he was a modern man now, they’d been together for almost six years, married for over three, he could deal with buying his wife tampons, right?

Now he was making a mental note, as some woman was slyly eyeing him as he grabbed a box, to remind his wife it’s a fucking good job he loves her as much as he does.

He whizzed around picking up the rest of the stuff and was heading to the till when he heard a loud shout. Spinning round on autopilot he saw one of the security guards chasing someone, a kid dressed in a pair of dirty jeans, a jacket that was far too thin for the weather, and a baseball cap, down the aisle. Steve let out a sigh. Shoplifting and petty crime had rocketed as people struggled to make ends meet following The Decimation. As the kid neared him he gently held out an arm to stop them passing and the child, a girl, gave a loud yell and looked up at him angrily. 

Instantly his heart leapt into his throat. Granted, it was a few years since he had seen her at the last Stark Christmas Party, but he’d recognise those large, deep brown eyes anywhere.

“Gerrroffff me!”

“Emmy?” He frowned, and she paused her struggling to look up at him and he removed his hat. “It’s me. Steve.” “I know you are.” She blinked, and then began to struggle again.

“Stop it.” He instructed, voice full of authority and he turned to the security guard. “What’s the problem here?” 

“Caught her down the aisle back there, shoving packs of chocolate and chips into her backpack.”

“Has she actually committed a crime yet?” Steve asked. “I mean, nothing has left the store. If I pay for it…” “No but she was gonna!” “But she hasn’t actually?” The security guard let out a groan. “Look pal, you’ve no idea what it’s like trying to keep this place straight.” “Oh believe me Sir, I do.” Steve mumbled, before he glanced down at Emmy. She was small, her dark, ebony hair was dirty and knotted, and her olive-skinned cheeks were pinched like she needed a good meal. He looked up at the man. “I’ll pay for the items and then ensure she’s dealt with.” “Dealt with?” The Security guard frowned before he looked at Steve properly and then his eyes widened “Holy shit, you’re Captain-” Steve cut him off, holding his hand up. “I assume that’s an acceptable proposition?”

“Of course Captain Rogers.” He nodded. Steve shook the man’s hand and then turned to Emmy.

“Give me the bag.”

She looked up at him before she sighed, handing it over. Steve tipped it out onto the conveyor belt at the till. A few bars of Hershey, some kettle chips, toothpaste, soap.

“Have you been on your own since, well, since it happened?” He asked and Emmy shrugged.

“Foster parents both dusted. Not that I care like, they were horrible. Better on my own.” Steve stiffened slight as he handed over some cash to the assistant. He studied Emmy as she packed her things into her bag. He couldn’t leave her like this.

“No one’s better on their own.” He shook his head. “Listen, I’ll give you two choices. You either come back to the compound with me for something decent to eat, or I can take you to one of the shelters.” “And if I refuse to do either?”

“Okay, three options.” Steve raised an eyebrow at her sass. “I turn you back over to Mall Cop over there and you can be handed into the police.”

Emmy snorted at his film reference before she looked down and plucked at something on her coat. “Is Katie…” “Yeah, she’s there.”

“Suppose coming to see her wouldn’t be so bad.” The small girl shrugged. Steve smiled, picked up the bag of groceries and gently went to place a hand between her shoulder blades, to steer her towards the car, but he stopped dead when she flinched violently to his touch.

“Hey, its okay.” he said gently. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

She looked at him, with an expression that made her look far older than her years and rolled her eyes whilst giving a snort. “Yeah, that’s what they all say.”

*****

Lucky alerted Katie to Steve’s return home as he shot off the couch next to her and headed to the door before it even opened. Katie glanced over the back of the sofa and did a double take as Steve headed in with a familiar face in tow.

“Emmy?” She gasped, getting up off the sofa. The girl smiled a little and allowed Katie to pull her into a hug “What are you doing here?” “He kidnapped me.” Emmy glowered at Steve who rolled his eyes as she stood up from where he had crouched down to greet Lucky.

“That’s crap Emmy and you know it.” He said sternly as he turned to Katie. “She was stealing.”

“Don’t look at me like that, it was that or starve.” Emmy shrugged.

“Starve? What? Wait, have you been-” Katie let out a groan as she realised the implications of what the kid was saying. “Oh, honey you should have found someone, got help!” “Better on my own.” Emmy repeated her earlier sentiment, kicking the floor with her dirty trainers. “And you can’t keep me here ya’ know?”

Katie looked down at the girl. She would be ten now, but she looked a lot smaller than she should be for her age. Katie glanced up at Steve who nodded to the kitchen.

“Listen, I was gonna cook dinner so at least stay for some food?” She asked. Emmy shrugged.

“Suppose so, what we having?”

“Pot roast.”

“Got any mash?” The girl’s eyes lit up and for a brief second Katie saw the cheeky little kid she had last seen a few years back.

“I can do mash.”

“Okay I’ll stay.” Emmy agreed before she looked at them both, a little sheepishly “Could I have some hot chocolate, like they used to do at the parties, please?”

“Sure I can manage that.” Katie smiled.

After settling her on the sofa, Lucky jumping up beside her, Katie retreated into the kitchen and gently shut the door before she set about making Emmy the hot chocolate she had requested.

“What happened?” Katie looked at Steve who sighed, crossing his arm.

“The Security guard at the store was chasing her after he caught her stealing.” Steve shook his head “She’s been on her own since the snap, said her foster family all disappeared.” “Shit.” Katie sighed stirring the cocoa powder and a square of chocolate into the hot milk.

“Yeah but,” Steve gently moved to hand Katie the marshmallows out of the cupboard, “she said something odd, about her being better on her own and she practically jumped out of her skin when I touched her. When I told her I wasn’t gonna hurt her, she said ‘that’s what they all say’”

Katie’s hand slipped at little as she contemplated Steve’s words, and she reached for a cloth to wipe up the liquid she had spilt. “You don’t think…” “I don’t know.” Steve sighed “But I couldn’t just leave her.” “No, course not.” Katie shook her head, reaching up to touch his face. “Just one of the many things I love about you, Rogers.”

He gave a soft smile. “I thought maybe we could give her a good meal, get her cleaned up and she could stay here tonight whilst we can figure out what to do.” Steve shrugged. His wife smiled at him, and grabbing the mug, she stood on her toes and gave him a kiss.

“You know,” she said, opening the door to the kitchen, “you might not be Captain America anymore but you’re still a hero.”

The three ate dinner and then Katie convinced Emmy to have a shower and, after digging her out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, settled her down in the spare room, promising her that neither of them were mad at her. Once she was convinced the eleven year old was asleep she dumped Emmy’s disgusting clothes in the washing machine, before she headed into the living room and snuggled down next to Steve who had poured her a glass of wine.

“She okay?” He asked.

“Yeah. Out like a light.” Katie sighed “I’m so glad you found her.”

Steve sighed a little. “She looked so lost. I can’t believe she’s been on her own for so long.” “Yeah well not anymore.” Katie scratched at her nose. “This is exactly why we need to sort those homes out. I mean there are hundreds of kids out there like that.” Steve nodded and took a long pull from his beer.

“Just seems so shitty.” Katie carried on “That she’s had two foster homes now and, ok, the last one doesn’t sound like it was so great, but we’re gonna shove her back in a home and…” She trailed off, tears in her eyes. “She deserves so much better, they all do.”

“Well,” Steve turned his head to look at her. “I’m sure you’ll make sure she has a good place for when she has to leave.” Katie stayed silent for a moment, before she took a deep breath and decide to just go for it and voice what was on her mind. “What if she doesn’t?” 

“Doesn’t what?”

“Leave”

“What, you mean, she stays here?”

“Would that be so bad?” Katie asked, “I just, I dunno, Steve, I can’t…” She trailed off, simply looking at him, a hopeful expression on her face that made Steve want to kiss the life out of her. He knew she loved the little girl, she’d always had a soft spot for her. And would fostering a kid for the time being be such a bad idea? It would mean changes, a lot of changes and they would be inheriting an eleven year old, with an attitude to boot. But, they had the room and Natasha was always on hand as well…

Maybe this was just another little way they could give something back.

“Why don’t we ask her tomorrow?” Steve suggested. “If she wants to stay then maybe we can look at it, at least until something else turns up.” “You mean that?” Katie looked up at him and he nodded.

“Yeah.” 

With a teary smile she shifted so she knelt up and reached to gently cup his jawline with her fingers.

“Thank you.” she kissed him softly.

***** Of course Emmy wanted to stay. And, after a fortnight of her being at the compound, Katie and Steve made the enquiry into fostering her on a more official basis, which was easier than it would have been pre-snap, officials keen to rehouse children with people that were willing to take them in. 

The first month was full of teething problems. Emmy had refused to go back to the house she had been living in, screaming blue murder when Steve had suggested they collect her things. So Katie had taken her out shopping for clothes and bits and pieces that she needed. Then she had refused to try anything on in the changing rooms. Ever patient, and recognising the signs of trauma and panic, Katie had calmed her down and told her they would simply take the clothes home to try on there, and that it wasn’t a big deal.

It transpired, after a tearful confession later in her room, Emmy was simply frightened that they would see the marks on her back left by the belt her foster father had hit her with and she had broken down, Katie simply laying with her until she fell asleep. 

The girl also had nightmares, and would often wake up screaming, but wouldn’t let Steve anywhere near her to comfort her. He didn’t take it personally, not after he knew what she had gone through with her foster father, but it did upset him somewhat to think that she could be afraid of him. As time went by she became a lot more comfortable around him, but still wasn’t really happy with any physical contact from anyone bar Katie. Steve simply respected her boundaries, Katie assuring that she would come round eventually.

Emmy found a friend in Natasha, the young girl spending a fair bit of time with the woman, often Steve would find them in the gym, Natasha teaching her some boxing move or other. Steve wasn’t completely sure it was a very good idea, but he left them to it as Emmy would come back to the apartment gushing about what she had learnt, keen to show them both her ‘moves’ as she called them. It was those moments that they both enjoyed, the signs of a cheeky young, innocent girl flashed through and it made Steve’s heart swell to see her coming out of her shell more and more.

Maybe more surprising, however, was how much she took to Tony. Katie said it was because they were the same mental age, which Pepper had vehemently agreed with. But Steve thought it was because Tony simply treat her like he would anyone else with his usual sarcasm and bluntness and she was fascinated by anything the inventor would show her when they visited the lake house. Turns out she had a real knack for technology, and the two of them set about on a project, building a small remote control robot which Lucky wasn’t quite so sure about as the dog would run away, bark, come back, and run away again whilst Emmy cackled away from her vantage point on the stairs where she controlled it.

Alongside this, Katie was still working on setting up homes for other kids through SIDE, and when she came home saying that there was a place for Emmy at the most recent one, the Rogers were both forced to face the reality that, whilst they had meant the fostering to be a temporary arrangement, neither of them wanted Emmy to be placed back into care.

So at the end of April, they made the fostering arrangement permanent.

Which was why Steve now found himself in a hardware store with a ridiculously hyper young girl, picking out a colour to paint her bedroom in.

“I don’t want pink.” Emmy frowned, looking at the colour chart on the wall.

“Well, what do you want?” Steve asked patiently.

“Purple. I think. Maybe a lilac.” “Okay there are some over there.” he nodded and she crossed the aisle to study the colour.

“I think I like this one.” 

Steve nodded. “Good choice,” before he found the tin with the correct shade in and dropped four onto the trolley. “Alright, that’s that done.” He turned to look at her “You wanted a new lamp too?”

“I don’t need one…”

“No, I know, but you wanted one.” 

Emmy’s face lit up and she nodded so they headed over to the light display. Her eyes went wide as she made her way straight over to a tall lamp, the shade of which was decorated with tiny, silver stars.

“I love it.” She said gently. Steve nodded, picked a boxed one up off the shelf and dropped it onto the flat bed trolley.

“That was easy.” He smiled.

“Please can I get some fairy lights for round my bed?” Emmy asked timidly “We told you kid, whatever you want, well, within reason.”  

With another face-splitting smile, Emmy selected some fairy lights. And a rug. And a few new cushions. And a throw. And a new bed for Lucky who seemed to have taken up permanent residence in her room when she was in there. Several hours and a couple of hundred bucks later they were on their way home after Steve had been cajoled into taking a detour through the drive-through for a burger.

“Hey!” Katie greeted as they walked through the door, Emmy carrying the cushions, Steve lugging everything else “Wow, you buy the whole store?”

“Is it too much?” Emmy asked, nervously “We can…” “No, I’m teasing, honey!” Katie chuckled, dropping a kiss onto her head. There was a moment and then Emmy burst into tears.

“Okay,” Katie sighed, taking her hand “Come on.”

Steve watched, feeling slightly useless, as he couldn’t help comfort the girl. He followed as Katie led her to the couch and he sat on the arm chair as Katie patiently sat Emmy down and waited until she had stopped sobbing. Lucky jumped up beside her and pushed his face into hers, licking away her tears as she wound her hands into the dog’s sandy coloured fur.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” Katie assured her “Do you wanna talk about it?” “I’ve never had nice things.” The little girl wringed her hands together and looked up at Katie from underneath wet eyelashes. “And when I did, then my foster brothers would break them and then he would hit me because I didn’t look after them.” She never used her foster father’s name. It was always he or him. Steve clenched his fists and felt the nerve tick in his jaw as he fought back the urge to go on a rant about the asshole.

“You know we would never hurt you Emmy.”He leaned forward, fighting the urge to reach out and tuck the hair that had fallen over her face behind her ear. “And no one else is gonna hurt you whilst you’re here.”

She wiped her eyes and gave a small sniffle. “I know.”

“So, how about we dry those tears and you help me make dinner?” Katie looked at her “Whilst Steve-O puts your things in your room.”

Steve let out a playful groan as Emmy giggled. “I really wish you’d stop calling me that.” Katie stuck out her tongue as he rolled his eyes and stood up, slapping his thighs with his hands. “The pair of you are a monumental pain in my ass.” “Language!” Emmy shot back as she smirked at him and he gave a snort, picking up the items they’d bought and taking them into her room.

Whilst they were in the kitchen, Steve set about fixing up her lamp, the fairy lights, tossed the new throw and cushions they had bought on her bed and set the remote for the flat-screen TV they had had installed on the wall on her nightstand. He called the girls to come and look and Emmy’s face was a picture, her eyes lighting up as she saw her room. She glanced around and looked at Steve, then to Katie, then back again.

“We can start painting over the weekend-” Steve began but was cut off when the girl threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her forehead to the top part of his stomach. Steve paused for a moment before his hand gently fell to the back of Emmy’s head as he stooped and gave her a hug back, looking up at Katie who was smiling from her vantage point in the doorway.

“She’ll come round in time…”  

His wife’s voice echoed around his head as he dropped a soft kiss to the top of Emmy’s head and smiled.

That was just another time in a long list of instances his wife had been right.

***** Chapter 42 Part 1

**Original Posting**

[mayonnaisetoffees]

Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

AU

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

[vanillann]

ew, it’s the government (spencer reid x reader)

hi!! after thinking about this i’ll be taking out the acab from the masterlist (nothing changing in the plot line) just so it doesn’t feel like an aesthetic!!

warning: swearing, mentions of crime and sex, enemies to lovers

word count: 1.6k

ew, it’s the government masterlist

chapter 7: in the wise words of jane austen

“You know, I wish my tax dollars went to those stupid pot holes.”

I rubbed my head from where it slammed into the roof of Agent Reid's car.

“Sorry.”

HIs voice was sincere as he quickly jumped from the driver seat once we parked and ran to my side of the car. I nodded my head, stepping out and I followed him to the trunk to grab both our bags.

I kept quiet, still shocked he was being nice considering how rude and cold I’d been, but I suppose some people were just better than me in that department. I didn’t want to but it felt like the right thing in a sense.

I felt a light tap on my shoulder, drawing me from the twilight zone I had fallen into.

“Here my key, D6. I’ll be up in a second I need to help Ms. Anderson feed her animals”

He didn’t wait a second as he dropped the keys into my hand and began walking to an apartment here on the bottom floor. I quickly caught up, running through the glass door just as they were about to close.

When I had made it in he had disappeared, I simply shrugged and made my way over to the elevator. The light elevator music calmed my nerves and I found floor D and smashed the button.

The light music that rang throughout was oddly calming considering I was in an FBI Agents apartment. The guilt slowly was slowly reaching me, as I know I haven’t been exactly the most inviting and they might be trying to help, but I couldn’t but think back to my poor sister.

The ding broke me from my daydream, shaking my head and looking ahead to the short hall. I slowly stepped from the elevator and spotted the Agent in question leaning against his door, hand in pocket as he waited.

“How did you beat me?”

“I took the stairs, much faster and safer.”

I watched him eye the elevator, the way he looked at it like one of those evil guys they catch. I was going to make a joke, but I decided maybe I should get nice for a few moments, as he hadn’t done anything to me personally I suppose.

I handed him the eye, his hands pulled themself from his pocket and let himself unlock the door. He held it open for me, which I returned with another nod and walked into the apartment.

It smells exactly like the sweater I still wore, the green walls with many bookshelves were a nice touch if I would say. I slowly made my way over to the couch, not taking a sit but setting my bag on the leather vintage material.

The clean atmosphere of the apartment was nice, and reminded me of Jerick almost and how he would come into my apartment when I was showering. I wonder how Jerick was enjoying himself with Polly Pocket. I snapped, trying to refrain from nicknames.

That when I spotted a large zombie looking head hanging from his bookshelf, smiling to myself when I slowly walked to it and pointed to it.

“What’s this?”

I turned, finding that Agent Boy, Reid, was nowhere to be seen. I frowned, letting my bottom lip lock out as I made my way around the apartment, looking from a pillow and a blanket from a nice cozy spot on the couch for tonight.

As I was looking under the old TV stand, that didn’t have a TV, may I say, I heard my name being called in a panic. As I went to stand up I felt my head slam into the top, a headache already forming as I fell back on my butt.

I heard footstep hurry to where I now sat on the ground, the mauve color converse caught my eye.

“I- are you okay?”

I nodded my head, slowly nodding as I rubbed it a few more times before looking up to him. He bent down, grabbing my face in-between his fingers. I went to pull back but he kept a firm grip on my face.

“I’m checking to see if you have a concussion,” his voice was from, causing me to stop my struggle and look into my eyes. I felt suddenly unsure, wiggling slightly as he held his finger out and slightly asked from my eyes to follow it.

“I didn’t know you were that type of Doctor.”

Shut up (Y/N).

“Huh?”

He let his finger fall, waiting for me to explain myself.

“You said you were a doctor, it was supposed to be a joke,” I casually explained, trying not to embarrass myself more the longer I spoke.

“Oh,” he slowly nodded, pulling his bottom lip in-between his teeth, sitting on the floor across from me as awkward silence filled the room.

“It was a bad joke,” I slowly stood up, feeling the pain in my head but ignoring it as I stood up.

“Uhm, where are the blankets?”

He looked up at me, slowly pushing himself from the floor as he examined me.

“Why?”

“So I can sleep on the couch tonight?”

I pointed over my shoulder in the direction of said couch.

“Oh no, you can take my room and I can make a pallet on the floor.”

While the gesture was sweet I felt like it was unfair to push someone from their own bed, especially with the way I’ve been acting.

“No i-”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave you out of my sight right now, with everything I mean and it’s fine really. I’ve slept in more uncomfortable hotels.”

His eyes scanned me as he rocked on his heels, slowly waiting for me to respond.

“Okay that’s fine.”

I turned around uncomfortable with the eye contact, the anger inside of me boiling. He was nice, but the system he worked from was corrupt so unless he realized that he was just as bad as the rest.

I noticed the grocery store bag on the counter, something I had completely forgotten about. I felt bad for the way I acted but I guess my attitude had become a part of me, which didn’t excuse it but it was the truth.

“Are we still making Shepherd's Pie?”

“Oh uhm- yeah sure.”

I didn’t wait for him to get up and I made my way to the kitchen. I heard his phone ding but I ignored it as I slowly took things from the bag and placed them on the counter.

“Garcia can’t find anything about Jerick from up til a few years ago,” Agent said, coming to the opposite side of the counter to me.

“Look under Jennifer, it’s his deadname.”

Spencer said nothing as he watched me, my anger boiling waiting from him to say something.

“I’m sorry we didn’t know he was trans,” he spoke sincerely, something I was grateful for.

“I’m not Jerick so I can’t accept this apology but you have been nothing but respectful to him so I doubt he would mind.”

Spencer nodding, texting the tech girl back quickly.

“Why didn’t she ask him herself?”

“Wanted to make sure it wasn’t something we should be worried about,” he answered quickly, shoving his phone back in his pocket while placing his hand on the counter.

“Okay where is the recipe book?”

“I don’t have one,” he brushed it off, reaching over and grabbing a few of the ingredients from in front of me and placing them in the bowl. I unwrapped the crust, looking at him with bewildered eyes.

“Why not?”

“I read the recipe in a bookstore years ago,” he brushed off like it was nothing, I had forgotten he was like Jimmy Neutron or something.

He suddenly laughed, something that shocked me.

“I had a friend that made me dress up as him from Halloween,” he spoke with nostalgia, something I hadn’t seen on him before. I mean I’d only known him from maybe a day but still, it was weird to say the least.

“My sister loved that show,” I spoke softly, almost sad to even bring her up.

“You have a sister?”

“Had,” I was quick to correct him, somewhat mad but more so sad.

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t ask, which I was grateful for, just putting the ingredients in the crust and putting in the oven, which was apparently already hot.

“I’m sorry I was impossible to be around,” my words had no emotion but it was enough for him as he accepted the apology and said he understood.

*

I put the last dish into the sink and made my way to the bedroom, the sweater he had let him borrow discarded as I now wore my own. My footsteps were light, most of the apartment dark as we both decided to head to bed quickly with a “long day ahead of us” as he said.

Dinner was awkward to say the least, barely any talking just sitting across from each other and eating. Maybe it wasn’t that awkward but without my talking I couldn’t distract my brain from the seriousness of it all.

There was a murderer out there looking for me, and I couldn’t even tell anyone why because I didn’t even know. It was only a matter of time before the kills got more personally, as they were mostly people I’d only known somewhat.

I slipped myself into the bed, careful of Reid who slept peacefully on the floor beside the bed, a gun in his hand as he “protected” me.

As soon as my back hit the soft nature of the bed all the tiredness left me, which was more annoying than the fact it was an FBI Agent's bed.

I tossed and turned because I don’t know how long before Reid started talking in his sleep.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune-”

I registered that the words were from Pride and Prejudice so I ignored the fact that he most likely wasn’t asleep and let the words bring me from this cruel world into another, only in my dreams.

criminal minds tag list:

@itsarayofsunshine @m-n-m @aquarius-pisces-rose @victomizedbyreginageorge @avaxreid @erinxneil @cclovesanime

spencer reid tag list:

@writtenbywolfie​

ew, it’s the government tag list:

@thatsonezesty13 @spencerslatte @pianofirepirate @ellvswriting @peterspickledpepper @erinxneil @friendlyweirdobaby @thatsastro @acambridge @spideyparkerstark @ameliamonster @thecraziestcrayon @hurricane-abigail @linthebinbag @m-n-m @reid-lover @drreidshands @l0ve-0f-my-life @avaxreid @baby-iyania @victomizedbyreginageorge @gubler-io @duskangxl @bonitaangel @koc-help @liaabsurd @achieveonyourown @non-binary-nightmare @crimeshowtrash @libradolan @sataninsatin @martinafigoli @randogirlo-fando-main

[ghostpeblewrite]

Paradoxical - Chapter 6

~~~~~~

On the other hand, the good news just keeps coming for the evil trio.

First, Jimmy managed to complete a vital piece of their plan- All on his own!!

Gavin was in the main room of their home base, studying a big black tome, when Jimmy burst through the front door. Gavin would say he’d never seen Jimmy beam that bright before, but the little maniac is almost always smiling, so that would be a lie. That’s when Gavin noticed what he was carrying.

Gavin clearly remembers setting the tome down as he stood up, remarking something along the lines of, “Well well well, look what the cat dragged in!” which caused Jimmy to cackle loudly, dumping the body he was holding on the floor.

That’s when the body started to move. Which did surprise Gavin. Jimmy never leaves his victims alive. Sure, he’s stupid, but he’s smart at killing.

Gavin moved closer to the body, and then he recognized it. He was suddenly full of an emotion, later identified as being Proud.

On the floor, unconscious, was Johnny Ghost.

He had rewarded Jimmy handsomely for that, after making sure Ghost was securely tied up in a different room.

Gavin remembers it fondly now as he lays on the ratty couch in the main room of the homebase, smiling at the memory of Ghost’s face when he saw Jimmy.

Speaking of Jimmy, the little maniac was currently lying on top of Gavin, his face buried into Gavin’s neck. That’s the main reason Gavin hasn’t gotten up in about an hour. Jimmy had finally crashed after over 42 hours of being awake, and Gavin was not about to wake him up. That was basically a death sentence.

Not that Jimmy could actually kill Gavin, but Gavin doesn’t want to see what would happen if he tried.

The only thing that brings Jimmy’s cat nap to a sudden stop is a certain dark figure walking into the base.

Only, he’s not a dark figure at first. When he first walks in, he looks like an average guy. Hispanic descent, maybe.

“I’m telling you, Gavin,” he says with a Spanish accent, his form flickering back to a dark silhouette wearing a cowboy hat, “We went too hard on the clothing. I looked like a try hard.”

“Welcome back, Maxwell,” Gavin greets. Jimmy begins to groan a bit, waking from his cat nap. He’s a light sleeper.

“Yeah yeah, anyway,” Maxwell says, sitting in one of the chairs next to the couch, “while you two were here sleepin’, I actually found out some useful information.”

Jimmy lifts his head up, about to say something, but Gavin shushes him. So instead, Jimmy just grumbles sleepily, putting his head back down, watching Maxwell.

“So, what is it?” Gavin prods.

“They’re fast actin’,” Maxwell says. “Toast was the only one who did anythin’ though- Took a crossbow out ‘n shot ‘em all. Only took one to two shots too.”

“Hm,” Gavin hums, but before he can say anything, Jimmy beats him to it.

“We didn’t just sit here lying around!!” he huffs, sitting up.

“Oh really?” Maxwell asks. “Do tell me what y’all did then.”

“I got Ghost!!!” Jimmy squeals, an inhuman smile splitting his face.

“Oi, quiet down,” Gavin says, ruffling Jimmy’s hair before scooting out from under Jimmy, sitting up as well.

“Wait- Is he serious?” Maxwell turns to Gavin. Can’t blame him, really. Hard to tell when Jimmy’s joking.

“Yes, he is,” Gavin says, stretching a bit. Jimmy stretches as well, probably just copying Gavin. His body makes a lot of horrible noises when he does. Gavin makes a small disgusted face at them.

“Do you wanna come see???” Jimmy asks, already on his feet before Maxwell answers. Gavin doesn’t know how he does it. Jimmy barely got an hour of sleep, and he’s just woken up. Where is he storing all this extra energy? Up his ass?

Gavin can’t say he’s too surprised though. Jimmy’s been bouncing off the walls since he woke up that day. Sure, Gavin kind of intended that- He couldn’t imagine Jimmy any other way- but it still confuses him.

“I er- I guess?” Maxwell shrugs, standing up as well.

“Great!!” Jimmy says, giggling to himself a bit as he grabs Maxwell’s arm, leading him towards the room where they keep Ghost.

Another thing he does that Gavin doesn’t quite understand. Maxwell isn’t… I mean, he’s not exactly solid. He’s a ghost. Gavin can’t even do that. Gavin just sighs, following after the two. Best not to question it.

Jimmy drags Maxwell into the room, where Ghost seems to be unconscious. Maxwell looks at him, letting out a low whistle.

“Well I’ll be damned, Jimmy! You weren’t lyin’!” Maxwell says, sounding pleasantly surprised.

That’s when Ghost raises his head a bit, eyeing the three figures in front of him.

Since he got there, he’s gained a few cuts and bruises that weren’t there before. Mainly from Jimmy when he got bored. Ghost’s eyes widen upon seeing Maxwell.

“Maxwell-?!” He cries. First Gavin, then Jimmy, and now Maxwell? This makes no sense. It’s such an unlikely trio.

“Pleasure seein’ you again, Johnny Ghost,” Maxwell greets, tipping his hat at him.

“Well, now that we’re all here,” Gavin says, looking at the other two. “We need to decide what we’re going to do with him.”

“Kill him!” Jimmy says instantly, smiling wide. Gavin chuckles, ruffling his hair again.

“We’ll uhm… Put that idea on the backburner there, Jims,” Gavin says, smiling at him. Jimmy smiles even wider back. Somehow. It grosses Gavin out how he does that. Gavin didn’t make him able to do that. He just… did that himself. It’s gross.

“Actually, wait,” Maxwell says, looking at Gavin, “That might be our only option.”

“What do you mean?” Gavin asks, looking back at Maxwell.

“I mean- He’s strong. If he gets out of here, our entire plan is ruined,” Maxwell elaborates.

Gavin nods. “You’re right… Plus, it saves us from doing it later down the line.”

“Yay!! Let’s kill him!!!” Jimmy shrieks, following it up with a cackle that sends shivers down Gavin’s spine.

Ghost just stares at the three in front of him. He knows them, he knows what they’re capable of, and they are capable of murder. Especially Jimmy, and Maxwell. Gavin’s more of a theft kind of criminal, but he will kill if he needs to.

Ghost also can’t risk dying. Usually, if he’s in a Safe Zone, he’d just go along with it. Dying can reset your position to a more desirable one. But since the wipe out, Safe Zones have been a lot rarer. That’s why, for a couple years, Toast and Ghost worked on mapping out local Safe Zones, and memorizing where they are.

The only issue is. Ghost has no idea where he is. He could be miles out of town, he could be somewhere nearby. He has no idea if he’s in a safe zone. It’s hard to know if you’re in one without seeing something else die first, and he very much doubts he’s gonna see that.

He’s looked around this room several times. There’s nothing here he can use to escape. He thinks he’s screwed.

That is, until he remembers something. Several years ago, when he and Toast were first figuring out different timelines and dimensions, they learned how to timeline hop. It was fun, but very dangerous. They’re lucky they ever even made it back to their own timeline. But looking at the three in front of him, arguing over who gets to kill him- Jimmy really wants to be the one, but so does Maxwell- he figures that getting lost in a different timeline would be a lot less dangerous than being in this room.

Only issue is remembering how to do it. Ghost closes his eyes, focusing on remembering.

The talking dies out.

“Gavin,” Maxwell butts in. Gavin glares.

“Don’t interrupt me, Maxwell,” Gavin says, then turns back to Jimmy. “As I was saying-”

“Gavin!” Maxwell says again.

“Not right now, Maxwell!” Gavin huffs.

“God damnit, Gavin!! Listen for once in your pathetic life!!” Maxwell yells, pushing Gavin’s shoulder so he’s turned towards the seat where Ghost is tied up.

Only, Ghost isn’t there. The ropes have gone limp. Not cut, or unties at all, just limp.

“What the fuck-?” Gavin says, walking over. He didn’t just go invisible did he?? “What happened?!” he yells, turning to Maxwell.

“How am I supposed to know???” Maxwell cries out. He jabs a thumb at Jimmy, who’s giggling, “Ask the freak!!”

Gavin takes a breath to calm down- He’s learned the hard way that you can’t yell at Jimmy. Doesn’t work well. “Jimmy… Do you know something?”

“Oh, yeah!” he giggles more.

“Care to share?” Gavin asks, forcing his smile.

“Ghost isn’t here anymore!!” Jimmy laughs.

Gavin takes a deep breath. “No shit, Jims.” “No, you don’t get it!!” Jimmy says, smiling wider, “He’s gone!”

“We can see that, freak!!” Maxwell yells. Gavin shoots him a glare before approaching Jimmy.

“Jims, what do you mean?”

“I mean he’s not in this universe!” Jimmy cackles. “He’s gone!!!”

Gavin looks confused. “What? How can he do that-?”

“I have no idea!!” Jimmy says, really cracking himself up. Gavin sighs.

“Well, at least he’s… out of the way?” Maxwell shrugs.

“That’s true…” Gavin nods slowly. “Maxwell, go check on PIE HQ, we need to know if we can attack yet.”

“What? Why can’t the freak do something for once? It’s just a camera!” Maxwell growls.

Gavin glares, putting an arm around Jimmy’s shoulders, “He can’t read, asshole.”

Maxwell huffs, heading out the door. Gavin moves away from Jimmy, moving about cleaning up the room.

Maxwell finds Gavin and Jimmy back on the couch next. Jimmy is sitting upside down, Gavin sitting normally beside him, reading again.

“Great news,” Maxwell says, approaching the two.

“What?” Gavin looks up at him.

“It’s just Johnny Toast there,” Maxwell says. “The other two idiots just left.”

“How is that good news?” Gavin huffs, “We want them all dead, don’t we?”

“It’s good news, because they’re weaker when they’re separated!” Maxwell says, his tone obviously irritated.

Gavin nods. “Right… So we get rid of my brother first, and then the other two?”

“Exactly!” Maxwell says. “The other two can’t do shit without the Johnnys.”

“Great!” Gavin smiles, standing up with the black tome in hand. “What are we waiting for then?!”

“Dinner,” Jimmy says solemnly, looking up at him.

Gavin sighs, “Later, Jimmy.”

Jimmy smiles.

~~~

was this bad? probably. i was very tired.

[let-me-write-shit]

Like We Used To: 1

A/N : Okay, so this is my first story after taking an almost ten year hiatus. Bare with me while I get the hang of things. Feel free to message me with input. Hope you enjoy so far. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER ONE

This day could have gone a lot worse. Granted, it’s only 11 AM. All week the weather forecast called for rainstorms, but so far there was not a single cloud in the sky. In fact, it’s warmer than it should be for a late Friday, September morning. ‘Lucky,’ Elizabeth thought, straightening out her long, blush dress in the mirror. Rain doesn’t dry well on silk. 

She looked at her three friends, Celeste, Daisy, and Heather, in the reflection of the mirror as they put on their bridesmaids dresses, and smiled. She always knew this day would come, and leading up to it felt like an eternity. But now that it’s here she felt like time had slipped away from her.  Elizabeth had been best friends with Kate Barnes since they were twelve years old, and met Lewis, Matt, and Celeste two years later. It was painfully obvious that Kate and Lewis loved each other, yet it still took them a whole two years to start officially dating. They were pros at taking it slow. Now, nearly twelve years later, the two were finally getting married. 

Elizabeth admired her best friends’ relationship with each other. There was never any doubt or uncertainty between them. Lewis was it for her; always was. They were perfect for each other. And the couple’s ability to hold onto friendships with ease seemed like a super power. Half of the wedding party and guests were grade school friends. Okay, Kate’s sister, Heather, doesn’t count. Elizabeth recalled old memories of long nights spent with the (almost) newlyweds, Celeste, Jimmy, Matt, and Harry. 

Her heart skipped a beat, almost as if she scared herself. She hadn’t meant to remind herself of Harry Styles. They met him at the same time as the others, but he had long since left their friend group. He was famous now, after all. Elizabeth would occasionally find herself thinking of Harry. It was hard not to when you heard him on the radio or saw him on the internet at least twice a week. Most of their teenage years were spent together before graduation when his fame really kicked off. Still, she found herself wondering if he even remembered that she had existed. They lost touch pretty quickly, which always struck a nerve with Elizabeth. How can you go from seeing someone almost daily, to no contact at all, so easily? The last few months of high school felt surreal. Lewis was the only one whom Harry seldom kept in contact with, and even that began to dwindle. Losing a major part of your friend group so abruptly almost felt like a family member had died; it was just off. At least, that is, until their group had met Daisy, Edward, and Owen in college. 

The seven friends considered themselves family. Their college friends were aware of the ‘Lost Boy’, as they liked to refer to Harry as. Seeing their old pictures together amused the bunch. But if they were being honest, everyone made it a point to not mention Harry when reveling in old times. It was apparent amongst the group that Elizabeth still bore a sort of resentment towards their old famous friend for the way he left. Understandably. However, there was some speculation of a relationship between Elizabeth and the Lost Boy that teetered over the line of ‘more than friends’. Of course there was friendly flirting amongst the friends, but what horny teenager didn’t?

“Need help with that?” Heather whispered, slipping Elizabeth’s diamond bracelet out of her fingers and clasping it around her wrist.

“Thanks,” Elizabeth breathed, snapping out of it and turning, motioning towards the room, “Can you believe it? It’s finally happening.”

Heather nodded, “I know. Seems like yesterday you, Celeste, and Kate were stealing my tampons and asking me advice about boys. Now you’re all grown up and my baby sister is getting married. When did that happen?”

“I must have been sleeping,” a small hiccup escaped as she tried to hold back her emotions.

Heather squeezed Elizabeth’s arm and gave an understanding smile before saying, “I just got word from the boys that the house is all ready for our arrival tonight. So once the guests leave we’ll tidy up and meet Kate, Lewis, and the boys there.”

“Perfect.”

Leave it to Kate and Lewis to make a big event into an even bigger event; they decided to show their appreciation to the wedding party by throwing a weekend long celebration of their nuptials by renting out a ten bedroom manor in the countryside close to the venue so they can all party together before the newlyweds leave on their honeymoon on Monday. 

“Okay, ladies!” Mrs. Barnes, Kate’s mother, sang. “Are we ready to see the bride in her dress?”

The room filled with various forms of yelps as Heather, Elizabeth, Celeste, and Daisy gathered together. Joyce, Heather’s five year old daughter, put her basket of flowers down and ran over to her grandmother, tugging at her dress and asking. “Is Aunt Kate coming in now?” 

The photographer got into position. When the crystal doorknob started turning the camera shutter started and the girls gasped and awed when Kate glided into the room. Her off-the-shoulder satin gown hugged her small figure perfectly while her blonde hair curled into a loose bun, with little strands of hair framing her face. She spun for them, smiling and laughing. Elizabeth bounced on the heels of her feet, clasping her hands together and bringing them to her mouth, taking everything in as Kate hugged everyone.

“Awe, Lizzy!” Kate pouted through her smile, wiping a stray tear from Elizabeth’s cheek. Only her grade school friends called her Lizzy. “Don’t cry, you’ll ruin your mascara.”

Elizabeth managed to chuckle through a sniffle and hugged her best friend, “You look beautiful, love.”

Kate squeezed back and breathed “Thank you.” After a minute the two pulled apart and Kate looked Elizabeth up and down with a smirk, “and you look absolutely stunning! If I wasn’t a taken woman I’d ravish you up!” Kate flicked the low hanging cowl in the neckline of Elizabeth’s silk, blush pink, figure forming dress. Even Elizabeth had to admit, this dress was quite sexy.

Elizabeth snorted as Celeste, Daisy, and Heather danced over with extra glasses of mimosas and called for last minute touch-ups before they headed downstairs to the limos that waited to take them to the wedding venue.

The venue was breathtaking, and luckily for the bride, could be held outside, in the back gardens of an old manor. When the limo pulled up the soft sound of violins could be heard as guests finished getting to their seats and the wedding planner got on the walky-talky to inform of their arrival and to have the men make their way down the aisle.

“You ready?” Elizabeth squeezed Kate’s hand as they all made their way in through the manor. The top of the guests’ heads were barely visible from where they stood as they were seated so far down the lawn in the garden. 

Kate looked at Elizabeth, nervously, and took a deep breath, “No turning back now, eh, Lizzy?”

Elizabeth grinned and pecked Kate’s cheek before Kate’s dad joined them and took his daughter into his arms. The tune of the violins changed signaling the start of the processional and the wedding planner motions for Daisy to start making her way out. Elizabeth’s nerves grew as Celeste followed shortly after.

She tousled her mousy brown loose curls once more, gripped on tightly to her bouquet with her clammy hands, and took a deep breath as the wedding planner motioned her forward. As soon as Elizabeth stepped outside onto the cobblestone she heard the shutter from the cameras and forced a smile, looking all the way down the lawn at the rows of guests. She spotted a few people that she knew and loosened up. Elizabeth felt the crunch below her heels as the cobblestone turned to a white gravel. Lewis wrung his fingers together, anxiously, and tugged at his navy blue suit. She couldn’t help but smile wider, remembering that her two best friends were getting married to each other. When Elizabeth and Lewis caught eyes she winked at him and nodded, reassuringly, which seemed to make him ease up a bit. Jimmy, or JJ they liked to call him, Lewis’ best man, seemed to notice the exchange and patted Lewis on the back before grinning at Elizabeth.

She looked amongst the guests as she slowly made her way up the aisle, smiling at people she knew and whispering ‘hey’ as she passed. She looked to her right, a few rows up, noticing one of Kate’s cousins, when a gleam from a ring caught her eye. The owner was spinning the one of many rings around his finger, almost nervously, but when she looked up at his face there was no sign of nerves. In fact, he seemed to be quite delighted. He dressed in mainly black, which seemed odd for the occasion, but he somehow managed to make it look lively with his curly brown hair and soft green eyes. They caught eyes with each other. The left side of his lips curled upwards into a lopsided grin and he blinked, nodding at her in recognition, and, was that…...eagerness?

Elizabeth felt her throat tense up and she was almost certain that her expression was anything but appealing as her attention shot forward, avoiding his gaze. Harry Styles was here. Why the hell didn’t anyone warn her?

[Keep Reading]

[crowdedimagines]

It’s Just PR - Harry Styles/Shawn Mendes (Part Five)

i’m sorry, this is kind of a filler chapter, but YES I am still writing this series!!!

~ SERIES LIST ~

Harry and I listened to the song at midnight and it was nerve racking. He made me play it over and over again, nodding his head to the beat. He’s always complimented me on my music, but I’ve never had to witness him listening to it. He loved it I’m sure for multiple reasons. Maybe the whole ‘over Shawn’ aspect of the song was the best part, but also about the emotion of being over something that was so hurtful.

After the song was over, I took him home and dropped him off. We are still trying our best to take things slow, I just got out of a relationship. Although that didn’t stop us from another makeout session with some heavy petting.

It’s been a few days since our date. We’ve been talking everyday since, and if we weren’t both so busy all of the time we would see each other more. I’m sure if we did it would only further the rumors. Unknown to Harry and I, there were fans on the beach that managed to capture pictures of us. It became all of the news articles headlines the next day. Everyone in the world is convinced that Harry and I are the new ‘it couple’. Maybe someday soon, that could be true.

I don’t think Shawn has taken it as hard as he might of a few days ago. His messages have stopped rolling in once the song came out and the pictures of Harry and I were leaked. He managed to post a video of him and Camila making out on his instagram after people said they kiss weird. I’m sure it was supposed to confirm their relationship a little more, but now people are doubting the relationship more than ever. I couldn’t even look at the video, the cover image was enough to make me ignore it. I made the decision to unfollow him that day.

Joan wasn’t kidding when she said we could to promo after the singles release. The next day I hopped on a plane to New York to do countless interviews. It’s been a few days since I’ve seen Harry, but we’ve been talking constantly.

Until today, we had been texting back and forth, but today he had some important meetings about his upcoming album.

“Welcome, Y/n Y/Ln!” Jimmy Fallon yells loudly. The curtain opens for me and applause fills the room. I wave and walk over to Jimmy, he pulls me in for a hug before I sit down. The cheering stops and I manage a thank you.

“Hello, you dropped a bomb on us a week ago today!” Jimmy accuses with a laugh.

“Did I?” I laugh and flip my hair over my shoulder.

“Yes, you did!” He holds up an image of the album artwork, “It’s currently streaming at number one!”

“It is, it’s kind of crazy! I wasn’t expecting this response at all. I knew my fans would love it, and in my heart I needed to release the song now. It’s become so much more than that. My audience is bigger now, people who can relate to the emotions put into it. It’s a wonderful thing coming out of a bad relationship.”

“Wow, that’s truly amazing. So you just got out of a bad relationship?” He questions.

“Yeah, it wasn’t necessarily a bad relationship, but it had a bad ending. It made me feel bad, so now I’m over it, and happy to move onto bright days.”

“Brighter days with Harry Styles?” Jimmy pulls up the pictures from us at the beach. I have to admit, I would think it was fishy if I were a fan. We’re sitting side by side in the sand, my body clad in his sweatshirt because he saw I had goosebumps.

“Jimmy!” My jaw casually hanging slack. This was not something I was informed of being brought up during the interview.

“Y/n!” He mimics my name right back. “What’s going on here?”

“What do you mean, Jimmy? We’re friends!” I don’t even blame people for not believing it based off of my grin.

“Just friends?” A voice calls out from behind me. I don’t even need to turn to confirm the voice it matched to.

Harry fucking Styles.

He runs around to hug Jimmy and wave to the crowd. He finally holds out his arms for me, I gladly hug him, the crowd getting louder.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper in his ear.

“I missed you.”

“So much for Mr. Private boy.” I roll my eyes.

I take back my spot where I was sitting previously, Harry sits down next to me. We finish off the rest of the interview, we play a mini game, which Harry also joins in on. He made the experience even more fun than it would’ve been with just Jimmy and I.

“Okay, I just want to get changed and then we could go get something to eat.” I inform Harry as I walk to my dressing room.

“Sounds perfect.” He presses a  quick kiss to my cheek before I run off.

I get back to my dressing room and pick up my phone off the counter, I notice messages from friends and family who were watching. As soon as I set it down it starts to vibrate which catches my attention. It’s Shawn calling. We haven’t talked in days.

Going against my better judgement, I answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Wow, I wasn’t sure if you would actually answer.” Shawn says, I can tell he’s shocked.

“Was there a reasoning to this or are you wasting my time?”

“Yeah, I wanted to ask you how you can end our relationship and be so hypocritical to do the exact same thing that you broke up with me for.”

“What?” I scoff, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“A fake relationship to boost streams? Seriously, I can’t believe you would be so desperate to drag Harry onto Jimmy Fallon tonight. You both have albums coming out soon, it couldn’t be more obvious..”

“I didn’t drag him anywhere. The surprise was genuine because he missed me because I’ve been in New York all week for press. I don’t give a shit about how desperate you and Camila are for attention at this point, you and I are not the same. Stay the hell away from me and my relationship.”

“You never wanted to have a public relationship!” His voice picking up volume.

“No, you didn’t want to go public. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. If you’re done being a child now, I have to go.”

I hang up before he can edge in another word. I don’t know what to do at this point. Block his number? We used to be such good friends before it all, before we started dating.

“Ready to go, love?” Harry asks, knocking on the door.

“Definitely.” I grab my coat and follow him outside.