#in which case what the hell man ! untagged!

[flareboi]

you guys know that old art community meme about the beer drawn by someone who clearly only ever draws … other substances. i just saw that but with a cake

[loustat-0]

The reason you were flamed on twitter is because when corrected for using the wrong pronouns you said “I don’t really care” and continued using the wrong pronouns to refer to someone. When shown screenshots of Anne Rice defending a real pedophile you responded by making the case that 14 year olds can consent to sex with adults. I wonder if you will tag this post as iwtv or leave it untagged to conceal the reason you lost mutuals on X

As I said before I wasn't educated about this . And once I was , I apologized to that person . What I ( MISTAKENLY ) did was uncool but that was simply because as none American & not a native fan we have different situations in my country about this . And once I got informed about my mistake I apologized publicly .

Like I said X is a nasty place when people judge you when you're uneducated on something . For example I didn't know pronouns could be that important to someone maybe because it wasn't important to me that who I interact with is a man or woman . But now I will definitely consider it once I know people's pronouns . 👌🏻✅

And I won't conceal anything here . Because Tumblr fortunately has more understanding fans as I have seen till now .

* not to mention that account usually had beef with me for other reasons as well . And when I said that about that account I had him blocked ages ago & it was another account who posted about Marius & Armand & Louis & claudia that account is a famous hater account for Anne's universe . And these accounts wished Anne to be in hell 😬 . Which I don't know if it's the right thing to say just because someone wrote a book about completely unreal people .

[olliya]

Fic Writer Review - tag game

Thank you so much for tagging me @tuliharja! I’m still not quite mentally back to the fandom and tumblr... But I’m working on it!!!

1. How many fics on AO3?

30. There is a bit less on ffnet, because recently I kind of stopped posting there...

2. Total AO3 word count?

466416. Wow. A lot...

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Naruto - 28

Bokurano - 1

Jujutsu Kaisen  - 1 (I tagged this single fic as JJK (Manga) and JJK (Anime) and now I have no clue why on my page it is listed separately, which gives impression that I have 2 fics in JJK and 31 fics altogether... Maybe I should untag JJK (Anime) or something...)

4. Top Five by Kudos?

The Last Ones Standing

Origin of the Never Seen

On Her Track (completely unexpected!?!?!!? A fresh oneshot so high? And the one published during publishing of Come Home marathon????)

Have We Met Before? (another oneshot, but that was for the event...)

Dreamt

Ok, I’m a bit shocked that Come Home is only 6th... That Veil is even lower....

5. Do you respond to comments, why/why not?

So, until half a year ago the answer would have been a crystal-clear YES. But I have to say that recently, especially after finishing of TLOS there were quite a lot of those complaining comments (esp. on ffnet) and seriously, if I had answered them, it would have been really sharp, so I held my tongue in many cases.

Also - and for that I really have bad consciousness - several very long and thoughtful reviews came very late (several months after the finish of TLOS) and I was already neck deep in Come Home and... I didn’t answer in time... I didn’t have time and mental space to write a suitable answer discussing all the points of the review. I am so sorry about that...

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Awakening is soo angsty, all of it, especially the ending. Maybe Wall has an angsty ending as well, but imo it is more scary than angsty.

Also both my non-Naruto fics are angsty as hell.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

No. Somehow, I don’t see much appeal.

8. Have you received hate on a fic?

Nah... Some, imo ungrounded and stupid criticism, but that’s not hate.

9. Do you write smut?

Yup! Gladly!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. I once read a fic that had a plot veeeery similar to one of my oneshots (and it struck a wrong vein in me), but it was not that someone stole it... Just got overly inspired, I guess...

11. Ever had a fic translated?

Oh Yes!!!!! Huge thanks to all my translators!!! Actually, most meaningful and deep fandom interactions came through the translations of my work, so I am so unbelievable grateful that people took their time to spread my works.

@yomi-gaeru is translating TLOS to Chinese (it is posted on AO3 and on many other Chinese pages - I know Lofter is one of them)

Most of my fics were translated to Russian. Dreamt by LeeTaeKim, Veil over Their Eyes by Маленькая_девочка_  and last but not least, almost all the rest was wonderfully, patiently, carefully and beautifully (and sometime heroically as well) translated by @kotoffeya. Her page on fikbook where she posts the translations is here.

12. Ever co-written a fic before?

Kind of. @victoriacapo has so many ideas and they often somehow click with me in just the right way and I write them down. There is quite a list of them already: Price of Creativity, Wall, Dancing with the Stranger, Other Man’s Treasure, and last but not least Pass the Test.

13. All-time favourite ship?

Madara x Sakura!!!

14. What's a WIP you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

Oh, Pass the Test lies so heavy on my heart... But I really cannot find the inspiration...

There is also another fic, WIP is a wrong way to call it becasue it is barely started, but it‘s a big, complex and daunting project and... I didn’t even really start. And I’m not sure if I will...

I also had so many ideas and started projects for the fandoms stats back then when I was doing a lot of it. But I don’t remember most of the ideas.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm... I’m not sure tbh. Maybe conveying emotions? maybe complexity of emotions?

Maybe someone can tell me?

What people did repetitively tell me is that I write Madara very well, that I write him authentic and IC. He is for sure effortless to write for me.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Lol, plots. Until recently I would have said ‘getting an idea’ but writing Come Home has healed me from that.

17. What are your thoughts of writing dialogue in other languages?

Well, I *am* writing them all in an *other* language, lol. English is *other* language for me. (Crying to tears about how anglo-centric this question is). And yes, I am uncomfortable writing casual speech. That’s also one of the reasons why I’m uncomfortable writing Modern AUs.

As for changing the language inside the fic - I don’t see really a purpose. There would have to be a really specific plot-reason for the inclusion of additional language for this operation to make sense.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto. I started writing in 2016.

19. Favourite fic you've ever written?

TLOS and Come Home. I am super proud of TLOS, and it is definitely my best work, but... I think Come Home wins. Even though it is *just* a collection of oneshots. But so much heart went into it, and - even though it is invisible to a bystander - there is a thread of themes, of certain logic that is strung through all these short stories and it is very precious to me.

Hmm, whom to tag... I didn’t talk to you for such a long time... maybe someone will still answer?

I tag traditionally: @yangssunglasses, @itsravencrone, @rhearenee-magane, @kendochick-moor @purple-possibilities, @sunsetbivd

[okay-victoria]

Writing Dialogue

While some choices in dialogue will come down to style preference, most fanfic dialogue suffers from a much earlier problem of being done incorrectly, no matter what the stylistic preference. Once basic spelling & grammar is mastered, and assuming the fic contains more than a handful of dialogue, I think bad dialogue is the thing that kills my enjoyment the fastest. I can handwave plotholes and understand emotions that weren’t conveyed right, but I can’t read people having a conversation that doesn’t look anything like an actual human conversation.

Problem 1: Too Much Drama

We want our scenes to pulse with energy! Of course we want the dialogue to be dramatic! The problem here is, what makes for good dramatic dialogue is not people yelling powerful words at each other very passionately. What makes for dramatic dialogue is mostly the importance of that scene to the plot & the characters, so to achieve dramatic dialogue, the best thing you can do is not overly rely on the dialogue itself to be dramatic. Set up a dramatic situation, and then people don’t have to yell. They can say a few basic sentences and the audience already knows why it is important and why the characters care so much.

Have you ever seen the scene in The Room where Tommy Wiseau yells “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!” Did you actually find that dramatic or did it just make you laugh because it was overdramatized? That’s what dramatic dialogue does to a story. Unless your characters are middle schoolers exclaiming it out in the hall between classes, chances are, older and more mature characters aren’t going to do a lot of yelling or make weirdly dramatic statements like the world is ending.

One of the biggest offenses on this count is overusing exclamation points and overusing emphasis. Exclamation points should be used very, very rarely, as should telling your reader what words are meant to be emphasized. Your character’s mood should primarily come through action - are they slamming doors, pacing back and forth, collapsing into a chair? Dialogue tags like “shouted” or “replied angrily” can be used to help, but should not stand on their own as the only thing portraying mood.

Instead of looking like this: “OMG! Can you believe it! Drama! Let me scream all the drama out in a monologue!” Lisa screamed, it should look like *Lisa kicks off her shoes, one leaves a mark on the wall* *Lisa slams bag down on counter, opens fridge for beer* *Lisa’s boyfriend stands frozen, as this is not normally how Lisa comes home from work. “This thing happened.” *Lisa collapses into kitchen chair and sticks head in her hands.* *Lisa’s boyfriend comes to put a hand on her back*. “One sentence reminding reader why Lisa is upset about this”.

Problem 2: Too Little Drama

Alternatively, you get scenes that sometimes look like two college roommates got high and are trying to acquire a pizza with as little effort as possible. Let’s say, for example, you have one character that has a crush on another character, and they are trying to find out information about them. While maybe the character learning this information is going to do something with it, so it’s important to the plot in another way, so the conversation itself does not need to be dramatic, it might end up looking like this:

I met Crush after class and we walked together. “What’s your favorite color?” - “Red” - “Do you like dogs?” - “Yes. Did you do the homework?” - “Yes. Math is my favorite class. How about you?” - “P.E.”

Like with the above, setup and action are everything. If you set up the scene where we know in advance how long it has taken Karen to get up the courage to talk to Chad and things like that, and then include actions in between the dialogue to show that she is nervous and therefore not very talkative, like her glancing up at him briefly but looking away as soon as he makes eye contact, or have her analyze Chad’s mood and wonder if he’s annoyed, etc, the scene can be made much more meaningful without needing to be a “dramatic” scene.

Problem 3: Dialogue is written like exposition

This tends to go unnoticed by some authors who are otherwise decent, and for me really ruins an otherwise decent story. The writing within the dialogue tags is written well, it just isn’t written like dialogue. It is written like exposition/narration.

In exposition: This project was doomed from the beginning. The improvements might look nice on paper, but the law of diminishing returns was going to stop it before it really started. Sounds...not excellent, I just pulled an example out of my ass, but fine.

In dialogue: “I think this project is doomed already,” Bob said, looking around the meeting room. “The improvements might look nice on paper, but the law of diminishing returns is going to stop it before it really starts.”

...sounds like Bob is kind of a psycho, or possibly your most pompous and hated coworker. Who the hell says “Law of Diminishing Returns” out loud if they aren’t a professor? The longer the dialogue and more flowery/technical/big vocab it becomes, which often *adds* to exposition, the worse and more unnatural the dialogue becomes.

Dialogue should not feel the same as the “speech” when a character is thinking. We tend to be fairly limited in how we express ourselves, use shorter and more simple sentence structures, more basic vocabulary, and haven’t memorized what we are going to say, so it doesn’t come out eloquently.

The one real exception to this that isn’t really dialogue, but is speech, is if you have a character making a speech or presentation, which they have prepared for in advance, and it is reasonable for them to give it uninterrupted.

If you want to make a point of one of your characters sounding like a total tool when they speak, you can also do this to achieve that and make it immediately clear to the audience why everyone hates them, but unless that’s what you’re going for, avoid this at all costs.

Problem 4: Dialogue is otherwise unnatural

Always, always, until you’re pretty damn sure you’re pretty damn good at it, say your dialogue out loud.

Would that personally really say “What is that?” or is it “What’s that?” Along the lines of not needing to use emphasis as much as you might think, if you were, say, in Scotland and just saw the Loch Ness monster pop out and want to ask your companion what it is, “What is that?” is fairly unnecessary. “What is that?” suffices. The simple fact that you didn’t use the standard contraction means the character emphasized the “is”. If you just see a piece of mail on someone’s desk that you are curious about, you’re going to say “What’s that?” and it won’t sound like you are dramatically asking about a generic piece of mail.

There are lots of very minor and small things that can easily go wrong in dialogue of this nature. It’s really important to say to yourself: if I was in this situation, how would I say it? Read it like you are acting it out in a movie and see. Also, question if a person would even say a sentence like that to begin with, or if they would be more or less direct in their approach. More direct is appropriate in many cases because people are usually trying to communicate clearly. Even if they are lying, they usually just say a direct statement that is a lie, they don’t dance around it indirectly and give hints to the other character. More indirect is appropriate when a character is trying to have a difficult conversation - we don’t tend to give tough advice or be directly rude, we try to work around it to make it sound better.

Because people want to have “exciting” or “cool” dialogue, they will often also give characters great rebuttals all the time, where they have these snappy conversations. This *can* work, but it’s really hard to pull off well, so in general I’d limit it to having a character having the occasional good rebuttal than a conversation of back-and-forth snark. Honestly, most of us just can’t think on our feet that well, and unless you’ve built the case that these characters can [ie, they’ve been married 20 years and are having the same arguments over and over so have it all thought out] it just seems very unrealistic.

Problem 5: Underutilizing dialogue tags

If you have two characters speaking, theoretically, if we know who the first speaker is and they switch off, a reader can follow the conversation indefinitely and know who is speaking.

In practice, that doesn’t happen. We like to be occasionally reminded. Personally, I try to max out at four consecutive lines of untagged speech, so no more than:

“Hey” said Kyle when he saw Brad.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Partying, bro, what did you think?”

“Haha, true. Do you think Lindsey will be there?”

“Man, you have such a crush on her,” Brad laughed.

Problem 6: Overusing dialogue tags

Conversely, in a conversation that is easy to follow, every single line does not need to be followed by a variation of “X person said”. If you are going for a tight back and forth conversation where neither character is thinking in between, you want to gum it up as little as possible with extraneous non-conversation. Hit us with occasional dialogue tags, and that’s it.

Problem 7: Not breaking dialogue up

This is somewhat of a style question, but in general, conversations should only be quick back and forth when that’s the point, but otherwise should generally pause briefly to “show” people doing actions, give some character thoughts, or otherwise break it up so the entire scene isn’t just a conversation.

Also, you can use these pauses as a way of showing hesitation/actual pauses that happen in the conversation.

Problem 8: Huge breaks between dialogue

This is something I am probably the *most* guilty of myself, because I’m writing a story where characters analyze the other characters a lot, so sometimes they’ll pause and think for a while in between. I haven’t quite arrived at the level where I’ve figured out how to get that all to flow in a way that breaks the dialogue up nicely, but not so much it is jarring and you’ve forgotten what the last thing a character said was.

But, anyway, definitely something to keep in mind. While a scene shouldn’t usually be all conversation, breaking the conversation up too much makes it feel like it isn’t a conversation at all.

[godidfk]

I Don’t Need A Hero (Part Two)

Summary: You don’t like heroes. They were a sham. But when your quirk disappears you are shocked to find you need them more than you thought. One in particular more than others. 

Pairing: Eijirou Kirishima x Reader

Warnings: Angst but like? Not really? 

Word Count: ~ 3.3K

A/N: okay listen im sorry this took seven years to come out lol. Life is life. I know there’s some confusion on what the readers quirk is but like I promise there will be a more in depth explanation soon. My asks are always open if you have questions!! I hope y’all like this. 

I’m gonna tag everyone who asked for part two on the last post! Just in case y’all forgot <3 (if that’s not okay lemme know I’ll untag you)

@lady-bakuhoe @shania-chua @raekah @onegaisobaniite @red-riot-girl642

Part One

“So what happened with Chargebolt?” Once you were both back to your car, you finally felt comfortable enough to ask Molly about what had happened at the meet and greet.

“Oh y/n! Oh, it was absolutely amazing! I kept peeking around the girl in front of me when I got up close, and he totally caught me looking. I was so embarrassed, he just kind of stared at me and I felt like I was on fire. He smiled at me and then he winked and I felt like I would pass out on the spot.” Glancing over, you saw Molly was absolutely glowing. Her hands were flying everywhere to emphasize how excited she was. You chuckled looking at her. “That’s not even the best part though y/n! When I finally got my turn to go up to him, he asked my name and told me I was really cute and asked if I’d stay after so I could talk to him more!” Your jaw dropped as Molly went on. You knew your best friend was drop-dead gorgeous, and the best person in the world. But who would’ve ever guessed her all-time favorite pro would be immediately taken with her? 

“Molly! That’s amazing! But... it didn’t take you long to come out and find me after..” realizing what your friend must’ve done you felt a wave of shame and guilt wash over you. “Molly please tell me you waited for him. Please don’t say you left to come find me instead.” The guilty look she threw you made your stomach sink. 

“It’s not like that y/n. I did wait. I figured since I sent Red Riot after you that you’d be alright waiting a little longer. I knew you’d kill me if I didn’t wait for him. So I did! But I definitely left quicker than he would’ve liked… BUT guess what!” Before you could get a word out she interrupted you. “Kaminari and I are getting together tomorrow after his patrol! As long as you’re alright that is.” She looked over at you and you could briefly see that worry back there. 

“Kaminari huh? Looks like you two got close real fast. I told you he’d love you! And Molly… I’ll be okay. It’s just going to take some time right?” That’s what you were hoping. That your quirk would be back in the morning. Or that you’d figure out what had happened. 

“Y/n, you never told me exactly what happened back there. Why can’t you hear anything anymore?” 

“It was weird Mol. You know how I hate being deep in the city like that. Around so many people. Their thoughts were so loud. It was starting to become too much. I pushed through though. For a bit. I was determined to be with you when you met him. Although it turns out you didn’t really need my help did you?” Throwing a quick glance over your shoulder you saw her blush. “Anyway, when we got into that line and Chargebolt came out it got so loud. I was about to excuse myself for a moment when… I don’t know. Everything was too much and then I saw him looking at me and all of a sudden… nothing. I totally freaked Mol. The silence was so loud. I felt like I was drowning in it. So I went outside. And then that stupid hero tried to come to my rescue. Who does he think he is anyway? He doesn’t know me. What could he possibly do to help?”

“Wait back up, are you telling me when you looked at Red Riot it all went silent?” Molly was staring at you with her eyebrow quirked. 

“Yes. That is exactly what I’m telling you. What’s your point?” 

“Well, that seems… sort of like something you would read in a romance novel doesn’t it? Young pretty girl looks at hot young man and all the voices in her head go silent? Sounds kind of dreamy to me.” Glancing over at her, you noticed she was wiggling her eyebrows at you. 

“Molly this is serious! My quirk is straight-up gone and all you can think about is some dumb fantasy? Even if it was some weird ‘hey this guy is your soulmate’ kind of thing you know me better than that. Never a hero. Never. But that’s beside the point! Molly, it’s gone and I can’t hear what anybody is thinking now. As nice as it is to get some peace for once in my life my spatial awareness is so fucked up. Normally I can tell when people are close to me without seeing them. Some asshole back there slammed into me and knocked me down and I didn’t even know he was there until I was on the ground. I have no idea what’s wrong with me and I’m scared, Molly.” She had gone silent beside you. The drive back to your house felt like it was taking years instead of an hour. 

“I’m sorry y/n. You’re right. I should be taking this seriously. We’ll figure this out. Do you want to go see a doctor? Maybe they’ll be able to find something wrong?” 

“Molly if I went to a doctor I’d be a guinea pig. Have you ever heard of someone’s quirk disappearing? Because I haven’t. I’ll figure this out. I’ll be okay. I couldn’t control my quirk very well anyway, right? Who needs it.” But the truth was you were terrified. You felt wrong. Empty. The quiet was so loud. 

-----------------------------------------------------

It had been a week since then. As much as you were hoping your quirk would be there when you woke up. It wasn’t. Everything was still quiet. If you were being honest though, after the first few days of being absolutely terrified and feeling helpless and empty, you were starting to enjoy the quiet. It was nice to hear the birds all of the time instead of only when you were 100% alone. Getting used to having to pay attention to your surroundings had been a challenge. And your job performance was taking a severe hit. Having to wait for people to actually tell you their order before you could start making it made things take a bit longer than you’d like. You were about to start getting ready for work when your phone rang. Walking over to pick it up from the counter you saw Molly’s contact picture and answered.

“Y/n! Are you busy right now?”

“Actually yeah. I was just about to get ready for my shift at the cafe, why?”

“Oh dangit. Kaminari is coming over today and I was hoping you would come meet him.” Molly had been talking to the pro hero every day since meeting him. She practically saw him every day too. You knew it was only a matter of time before she wanted to introduce you two. You were thankful to have work as an excuse to put it off. As much as you loved her, you weren’t ready to try and befriend a pro hero. 

“I’m sorry Mol. We’ll meet eventually I’m sure. I have to go get ready now but have fun! Don’t get zapped.” You heard her start laughing as you hung up. 

----------------------------------------------------

A few hours into your shift things started to slow down. You relished the time when the cafe was empty. It gave you a chance to catch up but also admire the view outside. The little cafe you worked at was on the outskirts of the city. Right across from a nature park that was empty more often than not. You loved to look out at the trees and flowers when you got the chance. It’s where you spent your lunch breaks too. Which you decided to do right now. Telling your coworker to man the front, you grabbed your lunch and crossed the street. Laying under your favorite tree you decided to try and figure out what had made your quirk disappear. This had become a daily thing. Taking about 30 minutes to try and piece it together and then pretending it didn’t exist the rest of the time. It had become the best way for you to manage it. Unfortunately, you weren’t any closer to an answer as you were when it happened. You were running out of theories. 

Thirty minutes passed by and you slammed shut your notebook and headed back to the cafe frustrated. You didn’t particularly notice the customers who were in the shop as you went into the back and put your things away. 

“Hey! I’m back from lunch if you want to go take your break!” Your coworker was smiling at you just a little too widely for your liking and you cursed your quirk for disappearing. “Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?” 

“No there’s nothing on your face. You didn’t tell me you knew Red Riot!” You felt heat rush to your cheeks. How did your coworker even know you had met Red Riot? 

“What are you even talking about? I met him last week and promptly told him to leave me alone. I don’t really consider that knowing someone. How did you even know about that?”

“Well if that’s the case, it looks like someone doesn’t know how to listen. I’m gonna go on my break but I expect all the details when I get back!” She wiggled her eyebrows at you as she pushed past you into the back room. Why did what she said make your stomach do a flip? Peeking around the corner into the shop you caught a glimpse of someone sitting right at the counter. He was drinking coffee and looking at his phone, occasionally looking around. His red hair was spiked up the same way it had been when you had met. But he wasn’t wearing his hero costume. Just a normal t-shirt. He looked surprisingly more human this way. Why the hell was her here though? No pros came to this shop. Favoring the fancier shops in the city. You weren’t complaining about that though. You preferred the quiet nature of this place. Taking a deep breath you walked out to the counter. He looked up as you walked out and his face lit up. His smile was bright. It reminded you of the sun. Shaking your head you tried to rid your mind of any thoughts about him other than what he was doing here. 

“So what, pro heroes are stalkers now?” You cringed internally at how rash that had sounded. He may be a hero but he didn’t deserve immediate cruelty. His smile dropped off his face for a moment before turning into a smaller smirk. 

“Denki told me the coffee here was really good, and that you made it the best. So here I am.” His smile grew a little wider as he spoke. You noticed his teeth were pointed and looked razor-sharp. Like a shark. 

“Well, that’s amusing considering I’ve never met him and he most certainly hasn’t been here while I was working.” He furrowed his eyebrows at that. Before he could think too much on it you had a realization and interrupted him.

“How did he tell you? Was it in person?” He looked up at you, clearly confused. 

“No, he texted me an hour ago, why?”

“Molly… that asshole. She’s been with him all day. I’d be willing to bet it was her not him. She isn’t particularly happy with me for the way I treated you last week.” You looked at him apologetically. 

“Well, that’s okay. You were obviously going through something. Even if it wasn’t Denki, the coffee here is definitely worth it. Why isn’t this place more popular?” You chuckled at that. 

“You think that coffee is good? Molly wasn’t lying. We do it pretty well here, but I make it best. What’s your order, I’ll make you another.” He smiled at you and told you his order. You quickly went about making it. Catching him smiling as he watched you from the other side of the counter. You were going to kill Molly later. But for the moment you completely forgot he was a hero. Just enjoying that bright smile. You placed his coffee in front of him and watched as he tipped it back. He closed his eyes for a moment before he spoke. 

“That is on a whole different level than the one the other girl gave me. How did you do that?” He was staring at you with wide eyes. You laughed at the face he was making. 

“I guess I’m just that good. I’ve been doing this for a while, you tend to pick up on little things after time.” You smiled as he took another, longer drink. He looked happy. He looked up at you and caught you smiling. 

“That looks good on you you know. You have a really nice smile. I’m glad I finally got to see it.” Heat rushed to your cheeks as he looked to you. Thankfully at that moment a customer came in and walked up to the counter. You cleared your throat and internally begged your face to cool down. 

“Hi! What can I get for you?” You recognized the customer, but you didn’t remember his name. 

“You have to ask? Thought you had everyone’s orders memorized by now. You usually start on it right as I walk in. Are you alright?” You felt guilty for having to lie to him. He wasn’t the first customer to ask though. So you automatically launched into the story you had made up to tell them all. 

“I’m sorry! I was in an accident last week and I’ve been having some memory issues ever since. I’m sure I’ll get back into it quickly! Just have to relearn everyone’s order.” You saw Red Riot look up at you and furrow his brow when you said that. You silently prayed he wouldn’t ask you about it. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sure you’ll get back into it in a jiffy. You’re everyone’s favorite barista for a reason!” Your heart warmed a little at the praise. You gave a small smile to the customer. 

“So what can I get for you? And this is super embarrassing after all of that praise, but I’m afraid the memory loss may have also caused me to forget your name.” The customer quirked an eyebrow at that. You had never really had to remember anything about your customers. Whenever they came in they were always thinking about their orders, so you heard them fresh every day. You had always heard their names before they said them too. Why would you take the time to remember it when the information was always immediately available to you? You missed this aspect of your quirk. Not being able to hear what everyone was thinking all of the time had its downfalls. 

“The name is Everett. I’ll have a double espresso please.” You immediately started making his drink as quickly as possible, hoping to make up for your lack of quirk. Behind you, you heard a very audible gasp. 

“Are you Red Riot? The pro hero?” Hearing the redhead chuckle you felt your heart drop. You had let yourself forget for a moment that he was a hero. All of the nice things he had said to you began to feel like a dagger in your chest. You would never allow yourself to befriend a hero. Finishing Everetts drink you turned and went to hand it to him and saw he was now deep in conversation with the pro. You weren’t listening to the conversation. You didn’t care to hear about the nonsense heroes and their fans talk about. 

“Here you go Everett. Hope it makes up for all of my issues.” You smiled at him and went to turn around to clean the counter when you heard him say your name. 

“Doesn’t y/n make the best coffee? I’m not surprised that a pro finally made their way to this place. It’s amazing it has stayed as quiet as it has this long.” Red Riot smiled and looked up at you. 

“The coffee is absolutely amazing. It’s like a dream. I have a feeling I’ll be here pretty often.” Your heart sank even further and you frowned. Turning to clean up your station, determined not to turn back around unless you absolutely had to. You heard the bell at the door and glanced over to see Everett leaving. 

“What happened to you last week?” You closed your eyes and sighed.

“That’s none of your business Red Riot.” You said it harshly. More harshly than you meant to. But you were hurt. Why would the world bless a hero with a smile as bright as that? 

“Please call me Kirishima. Everyone else calls me by my hero name. It’d be nice if you didn’t. And look I know last week is obviously a sensitive subject, but if it was bad enough that you’re having memory issues you should’ve let me help you. What if I could’ve prevented it?” Your entire body immediately felt like it had been lit on fire as the anger flooded your veins. You turned and gave him a look that could kill. A look filled with cold, seething rage. 

“I do not need some hero to help me. My life is none of your business. Leave.” He looked taken aback by your words. 

“Why do you say it like that? Like it’s a bad thing? It’s okay to need help y/n. Everyone does.” You hated the way that your heart melted when he said your name. But much bigger than that you hated that he was a hero. You hated every word he said. You felt your body getting hotter when you heard the bell ring and heard Molly’s laughter coming in. She looked at you and it immediately halted. She ran behind the counter and looked from you to Red Riot. She pushed her way in front of you and grabbed your face. 

“Y/n. Y/n go home. Now. I’ve got the counter. Go.” Looking at her, she seemed to be the only real thing for a moment. Her words sank into your mind and you turned and left the shop without a word. 

----------------------------------------

Molly sighed as she watched you walk out. Thanking God she had convinced Denki to come to the shop. He was standing by the door still looking incredibly confused. Kirishima was staring out the door too. 

“I should have known better than to tell you to come here Kirishima. I’m sorry.” Molly put her head in her hands. Denki walked up to the counter quickly.

“You alright babe? What the hell just happened? She looked ready to kill someone. What did you say to piss her off Kiri?” Denki was looking from Molly to Kirishima. 

“I didn’t really say anything. She told a customer she was in an accident last week and that she was having memory problems. When he left I asked why she wouldn’t let me help her last week. And she just. She got so mad.” Kirishima looked back at the door. Molly sighed again. 

“Listen. It’s not my story to tell. Short and simple of it, y/n doesn’t like heroes. She hates the whole premise of you guys. Something major happened at the event. Don’t ask me about it. It’s really not up to me to tell you. I’ve only seen her with that look one time before though… I’m just glad I got here when I did.” Molly had flashbacks to that night. Seeing your face then, seeing it now. It was too close. Way too close. Denki cleared his throat. 

“Do you even know how to make coffee?” Molly looked up at him confused. Realization set in and she laughed. 

“Denki I started here at the same time y/n did. We bought this place together. Even if it is just hers now. I’ve got the counter handled.” Both men looked up at you. 

“Wait you guys own this shop?” Kirishima looked around the place again as she continued to laugh. 

“It was always y/n’s dream to own her own cafe. Let’s just say dear old dad would do anything to keep me quiet about certain things. So I got her this place! It’s a long story. But when your dad’s a rich asshole there’s really only one benefit.” Denki raised an eyebrow at her. 

“Babe you’re so hot.”

“Oh my god, Denki. Not here.” Molly was laughing again. But she saw the way Kirishima was looking down at his cup. She pitied him. If only he hadn’t been a hero.

[orchidbreezefc]

OKAY COOL I WAS ON THE FENCE ABOUT POSTING MY OWN EXPERIENCES IN THE KFAM DISCORD BECAUSE A POST ABOUT People Being Mean To Sage Specifically SEEMED KIND OF MASTURBATORY OR SELF-PITYING OR WHATEVER BUT IF WE REALLY ARE GOING TO STILL BE OUT HERE PUSHING THE This Server Is A Lovely Familial Community And Dissenters Are The Problem NARRATIVE EVEN NOW? HELL NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

obviously this is hard to be objective about. this stuff is a lot less concrete than my first post, a lot more based on vibes i got, which, yknow, is why it’s not in my first post. but if anyone identifies with this, if anyone sees their own experiences in this discord reflected in mine, then it’s going to be worth the worry i’m reading too much into things, or others thinking the same of me. if i can help anyone who felt like THEY were mistreated there and weren’t sure if they were reading too much into things, then. it’s worth it. especially since the M.O. in there was ‘everything’s fine and if not we’re going to MAKE IT FINE by silencing anyone who disagrees’.

a lot of talk has been done about the censorship (word used loosely, first amendment protects from the government not from the mods etc, definitely a specific suppression of dissenting ideas though) the mods have been doing--once more i suggest @kfam-tea for receipts and screenshots. not something i feel great about, but not something i have personal experience with, so i won't speak to it. see also my first post about my interactions with the creators. it touches on the dogpiling, which i'll go into more depth on in this post. you can find it [link: here].

so. the first thing in the official discord that tipped me off about the hivemind samethink phenomenon is that the whole place is distinctly frosty on the subject of samben. that’s a post all its own, one that follows through to numbers on ao3 and whatever, but i’m not here to make a ship manifesto. suffice it to say i got attached to the ship upon listening, inhaled the (suspiciously small) ao3 tag, and was stopped in my tracks at the discord server where any implication of such ship inclinations were met with silence and pointed changes of subject.

distinctly weird. distinctly unusual fandom behavior, that i couldnt even hint around shipping the two men whose incredibly profound relationship is literally the crux of the show, who have exchanged ‘i love you’s, one of whom is confirmed gay--all other romantic entanglements aside, because when have those stopped shippers? that was weird. i realize that's maybe a bit tinfoil hat of me. it could have been the goldfish-bowl big-brother-is-watching vibe from having creators in there, except, as i said, it carries to other sites.

anyway, much more concrete was when i spoke out about my thoughts on ben’s actions in ep68. again, enough there for another post, so tl;dr: he was doing his best, he’s a good guy and a good friend, but his actions DIRECTLY outed sammy to the WHOLE town, without allowing sammy to say the words himself. it was an accident, yes, but it had tangible, harmful consequences, and even accidental harm warrants apology. it should at least be... acknowledged. at some point. by the show OR the fandom. it's a disservice to ben himself to never get the chance to own up to it.

this was an unacceptable take. i tried breaching this topic and making my case twice, and got THOROUGHLY dogpiled both times. a dozen fans crawled out of the woodwork to argue heatedly, sometimes getting quite aggressive, sometimes toeing the line of outright hostility toward me personally. definitely some downright rude messages. not once did anybody speak up to defend my right to put forward my dissenting opinion, let alone SUPPORT my argument, god forbid. ben’s were the actions of a good friend, i was told. outing someone to their whole town without giving them the chance to say it on their own terms didn't qualify as harm at all, i was told, on account of ben's heart being in the right place.

still, the opinions being argued matter less than the attitudes and behaviors. people don't have to agree with me about that ep, i don't care. i do care about being given the right to, as a single person on my own, have space to make an argument without being shouted down by a dozen people. i do care about how it fit into a greater pattern of forbidding any criticism of the show, and ben in particular, who is a good friend and therefore all of his actions are good and harmless, who is our resident heterosexual unassailable paragon of purity. which might explain the samben problem--sammy/ron[/jack] was perfectly fine, even popular, but there was never a whisper of shipping ben with anyone but emily. they're Official. theyre The Perfect Couple. don't you dare challenge that (and for the most part, i didn’t dare. i quickly learned not to).

my [link: previous post] details kyle's response to these fun events, where he specifically went out of the way to follow me being shouted into silence (a result of me being driven to literal tears and shutting down rather than invite more argument) with a warm congratulations to everybody for their conduct in this discussion. because that's the kind of conversation kyle wants to specifically and explicitly praise and encourage, i guess.

anyway. this contributed to the growing sense over my time in the discord that people held a certain distaste for me but didn’t want to say anything direct. instead they talked around me, ignored me, immediately changed the subject from my messages, the whole while bestowing constant glowing compliments on each other and endlessly repeating saccharine sentiments about what a nice family type community they were, how grateful they were for the discord being such a positive space. i suppose that’s an easy impression to get when negativity is ruthlessly suppressed (and apparently outright censored nowadays) and instead of insults or, god forbid, communication with people with whom folks might take issue, they just (more or less) silently stonewall and cold shoulder them.

again, i could be misreading cues, being egocentric or tinfoil hat by reading this pattern into how i in particular was treated. either way, the fact that i was given the fandom friday shout out the week after KFAM live was definitely... strange. fishy, even. i was already mostly out the door at that point, had been for weeks--it was actually in my last few days speaking there period. i felt strangely guilty that they would dedicate a day to me when i didn’t like being there much and hardly spoke any longer. one thing’s for sure: my congratulations were fewer and more impersonal, perfunctory, and/or generic than other fans got (i kept a screenshot). i still have no idea what to make of that one, but there you have it.

p.s.: since vagues are in vogue now apparently, i might as well mention the person who's been accused of being A Problem In The Discord For A While Now, among nastier things, which definitely is not an effort to justify kyle's passive aggressive response to their untagged post which used the phrase 'death of the author', or kyle subsequently crying on twitter about death threats because apparently he couldn't be bothered to google a basic literary analysis term and thought if he was vague enough nobody would look into what was actually said. i guess he was right, if the hundreds of asspats and outcries against The Evils Of Podcast Fan Meanies were any indication.

i digress. i just wanted to testify that the fan in question was one of maybe three or four people on the server who consistently treated me nicely and acted like they liked me. and that another fan who claimed to be uncomfortable around death-of-the-author-person was the person who came the closest to being outright nasty to me when i expressed a critical opinion. make of that what you will i guess!

p.p.s.: if i never say anything more about this whole thing or the creators’ part in it, i do want to say for the record: noah james is fully exempt from all of this and remains absolutely wonderful and a whole treasure. like dont pedestalize male creators and assume them incapable of wrongdoing etc etc but i had an hour long midnight denny’s breakfast sitting across from him and he was nothing short of an angel the whole time. sweetest guy i’ve ever met. he hasn’t breathed a word about any of this drama. he may not even know it’s going on because he’s too busy being the most beautiful and talented man in america or something. i love you noah

[generatedreflection]

So I triggered the Bad End of P5R on 2/2 just to see it and…holy shit do I regret it

Okay, I’m gonna jump back for a bit here. When the spoilers were coming out (shoutout to Tim, whoever and wherever you are), I just wanted to know one thing: do he die

I wanted to go into the new stuff as unspoiled as possible–unless there were nasty surprises waiting for me, in which case I would spoil myself as much as possible to blunt the impact. (Vanilla P5 taught me the necessity of this)

So I was getting filtered spoilers from the very kind mollypaup to let me know if I should basically armor myself with knowledge or let the full force of the game hit me. And then I happened to scroll past an untagged spoiler post on Twitter that had images of Ren and Goro in the attic and the group photo, labeled “Bad End.”

And I was like “WELP if Goro having friends and happiness (=everything I ever wanted) is the Bad End…it’s spoiler time I guess”

And so I learned that indeed, Goro’s presence WAS due to Maruki’s world [insert One Fear meme], and that he must have indeed died in the engine room

And I was so upset because of course Atlus wouldn’t just rewrite such a major plot point, of course they wouldn’t essentially say that story choice was a bad one, and now on top of that they seem to be telling his fans “hey, if you don’t like it and you want a version of the story where he lives, then YOU’RE running away from reality and refusing to accept the truth!!” I saw people saying they would choose the “bad end” over and over out of spite. I thought about doing that, too.

And to be honest…like there’s really no such thing as a “bad” story choice. It can be inconsistent, it can be ineffective, it can turn the story into something less brave or less meaningful for a group of people. For me, Goro dying in the engine room is one of those choices. I can’t state that that one story is absolutely “worse” than another, but I can say that it seems to be a choice that requires less effort, makes the story’s themes less effective, and does not inspire me in any way, in addition to being implemented in a way that didn’t seem to contribute much in the end.

So…in that sense, I saw this as Atlus trying to blame me for criticizing their choices. Obviously, I took issue with that, and I still feel to some extent (even knowing what I do now about the endings and the intended meaning of them from the supplemental materials) that that’s the case.

I didn’t start to feel better about it until I read lokiarsene’s amazing post about the true ending and why it’s meaningful, and I started to see it as more than just a bit of marketing. I started to recognize the bad end as an actual bad end.

Anyway, all that backstory aside–I was ready to agree that the bad end was bad. I was not ready for it to hurt the way it did.

One of the (many) things I love about Goro is his utter determination and devotion to the truth. It took me a long time to see that second point because deception is a major part of his story, but that’s just part of all the irony and tragedy in his character. Goro has been through so many varieties of hell, but he always fights his way through. Even at the cost of relationships, even at the cost of what his heart might want. Its not always the healthiest thing for him, but sometimes the healthy choice isn’t an option, and that kind of strength is an admirable thing.

Goro is willing to die again because he doesn’t run from things, because he doesn’t want Ren to run, because he doesn’t want their lives to become fuel for the savior complex of a weaker man.

When the other PTs woke up from their dreams, they mention knowing that something wasn’t right, but it took them some time and some urging from Ren to drum up the courage to look at the truth and shatter the dream.

Goro saw the truth immediately, and he doesn’t run from it because those painful truths can protect you from people trying to mess with your mind. He wants to take down this manipulative, self-deluded man, and he wants to set Ren free, and he wants to have the freedom to choose himself. And if Ren is the rival, the friend, the equal, the counterpart Goro believes him to be, then Ren will not waver either. He’s constantly nudging Ren to agree with him, and honestly that constant encouragement from him really did make it easier for me to see Maruki’s reality for what it was and reject it.

In the bad end, you betray him in every possible way. You betray his determination and effort, you betray his wishes, you betray the link between you he thought you had. You prove that you’re no better than Maruki, saying you’re doing something for another’s benefit when it’s really for your own. You ensure that no choice Goro has ever made has ever mattered. You erase his very identity. The Goro from Leblanc on 2/2 is gone forever, from Maruki’s world and from any meaningful impact on Ren’s life and choices.

In the end, you leave him more dead than he ever was before.

That glare Goro gives before he leaves Leblanc isn’t just angry–he also looks tired. Because in the end, you were the same as everyone else, and he was always alone.

We’ve made a big deal about how the desire to be wanted was such a big thing for Goro, and how Ren’s wish for the real, problematic Goro was a fulfillment of that.

But in the 2/2 ending—Ren doesn’t realize it, he doesn’t mean to, and it’s a truly tragic irony–but when push came to shove, he ultimately rejected the real Goro, too.

[justsomewhump]

Memories Revealed (11/?)

@killian-whump’s original piece is here, and you can read my additions from the beginning here.

Warnings: Rape, memory wipe, near-drowning, blood, nosebleed. Make sure to read all the tags on AO3 too in case I’ve forgotten to mention anything.

Tagging @sherlockianwhovian, @hookaroo, @hollyethecurious, @mathildia, @kingofmyheart14, @wyntereyez and @cocohook38. If you want to be tagged/untagged, hit me up!

Word count: 1.8k AO3

~ Set in a time between season 6 and season 7

~

Snow and David's new place wasn't all that different from their old loft, after all. Of course, it had more room and a garden, but overall its style was pretty reminiscent of their previous home.

Even the bathroom, he couldn't help noticing, when he excused himself to use it. He smiled to himself, though, thinking how in all his centuries, bathrooms in that world were one of the things that had caught his attention the most, and probably always would.

Wiping his hand dry, he turned for the door and reached for the handle, when it opened all too sudden and quick.

He saw Gold for a split second before something flew towards his face. Killian closed his eyes and took a step back as a thick scent entered his nostrils. He coughed - was that some kind of powder?

He opened his eyes again when he heard the door close, and saw Gold step toward him and put his hand over his mouth.

"Shh," Gold said. "No need to make a fuss about it."

Killian moaned under Gold's hand. What was he doing?!

"Don't worry, the drug is already having its effect, so I'll let you go soon enough."

Drug?!

Indeed, why wasn't Killian fighting him off?

Killian tried to raise his arms to push Gold away, but he could barely lift them halfway through before they fell limp on his sides.

As did he.

Gold wrapped his arm around him, holding him up while he watched in shock.

"Stay quiet," Gold whispered and took his hand away from Killian's mouth, then tapped his finger on Killian's lips. "And I promise I'll be quick about it."

He then leaned in and kissed him. A shocked whimper left Killian as he tried to command his arms to come up and push him off him, to no avail.

Gold pulled back a bit and smiled at him. "Not much of a response there, but I guess that was the purpose of the drug."

No...

Gold placed him face down on counter by the sink and started undoing his pants.

Killian focused solely on trying to wiggle away and scream for help, but his whole body seemed to have given up on him. He could barely even whimper.

"Yes," Gold said as if reading his thoughts. "The drug immobilizes you, but trust me, you'll feel all the pain in your unresponsive flesh."

No. No, no, he had to stop him!

He focused hard, even felt his throat constrict from the effort to shout for help, but no single sound came out.

The seconds seemed to pass too quickly while Gold was preparing himself, and all of a sudden, he was sliding inside him.

A guttural groan left him as he felt his breath leave him, and was left unable to breathe for several seconds as the pain felt all too much.

"Impressive," Gold said. "Even when you're limp as a noodle I can still find the right way to fuck you breathless."

Gold moved a little back, then slammed into him again, and this time Killian managed to let out a pitiful whimper.

"Oh. So that's how you sound when you don't hold it all back." Another thrust, another whimper. "Would you look at that. You can't scream for help when you want to, and you can't hold it back when you don't want me to hear it." Another thrust, another whimper, louder this time. "Perhaps I'll need to use that drug again some time."

He then leaned forward, still thrusting. Killian groaned again as the new position gave Gold deeper access, and this time he could swear he must have been heard outside, despite the music that even reached inside the bathroom.

"That might be a problem though," Gold said, then appeared to be thinking before his eyes lit up and a smile appeared on his face. He put the sink tap on then turned the faucet on. "Let's see how loud you can scream underwater."

Killian whimpered again, looking in horror as the sink filled with water. Gold slowed down and didn't thrust as hard, but Killian was terrified to think that would change as soon as there would be enough water in the sink for his face to fit in.

Gold kept up in a slow and subtle rhythm until the water reached the brim of the sink. He then grabbed Killian's hair and lifted his head, kept it up for a few seconds as he looked into his eyes, then pushed him face down in the water.

And slammed hard inside him. Or he might as well be stabbing him back there, Killian wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

With the limited breath he had before being pushed in, his screams left his mouth in bubbles... and then he had no breath left. Instinctively, he gulped water down and swallowed it instead, but it only took three gulps before it went down his windpipe. He coughed weakly, and the next gulp felt more like fire than water.

His vision darkened as he let out a final small bubble, then he was dragged up.

Gold was still inside him, but focused on striking his back instead to help get the water out. It burned as it went out his nostrils and Killian could finally breathe again.

Gold only let him take three breaths before pushing his face down in the water again. Screams of pain left Killian with every violent thrust from behind, and once again he was out of air.

He couldn't even wiggle or flail around like he remembered... the last time Gold had tried to drown him, under Zelena's order. He simply fell as limp as before while water went down into his lungs and Gold slammed inside him.

Somehow Gold could tell, for he dragged him up again and let him get the water out, before allowing him two tired, small breaths and pushing him in again.

Killian quickly lost count, so he had no idea which time it was when, as he coughed out the water from his lungs, he saw drops of blood fall in the small pool. He whimpered weakly when Gold pushed him in nonetheless.

A few times more, and the water was turning noticeably redder from the blood. Gold paused for a moment, reaching down and hugging Killian from behind.

"What a sight," Gold whispered in his ear. "This is what I love with taking you like this, every time is different and new." He turned and bit down softly on Killian's earlobe.

Killian felt so exhausted and breathless he couldn't make a single noise, aside from the wheezing he was already making.

"And here, with our wives in near damn earshot, or anyone that could come in and catch us like this." Gold sighed and pushed him in again.

A small part of Killian felt the slightest hint of disgust thinking how he was now breathing water mixed with his own blood, but there wasn't a lot of room for conscious thought in his mind when it was occupied with the struggle to survive.

And the near-failure to do so.

"Some man of the sea you are," Gold told him when he pulled him out again. "That wasn't even ten seconds."

Killian couldn't even tell anymore if he had meant that as a tease or an insult.

He couldn't bring himself to care either way, as he watched more and more blood drip down to the water.

Eventually, Gold simply let his head rest on the counter when he realized he was too exhausted and out of breath to scream, whether from a conscious or an instinctive effort.

Strange, he thought. Why would Gold stop himself from killing him? It wasn't as if he'd let him live to tell this tale.

Instead, Gold simply tapped Killian's nose, making the bleeding stop.

Finally his breathing seemed to get back to normal when Gold leaned forward, resting his chest on Killian's back.

"I have to admit," Gold whispered, hot against Killian's cheek, out of breath himself, "nothing can compare to that time in Neverland. But still, every time feels like a new experience... in its own charming way." He leaned a bit back and brushed through Killian's hair. "And simply having the memory, to revisit, to relive..." He grabbed hard at his hair, adding, "to jerk off to."

"Wh- wha..."

"I know, you don't understand. But you don't need to. Soon you won't even remember wondering."

He then let him go and pulled away and off him. Killian whimpered and trembled, feeling something wet run down his thighs.

Gold tsked. "I always hate this part."

Then, in a second, all pain went away. In his backside, his chest... only a faint soreness in his nose remained.

Gold moved to his side, and with a move of his hand Killian was dry again.

"The drug will wear off immediately in a few moments. Until then, I need to set my alibi."

He then grabbed Killian and simply set him to sit on the toilet.

"That'll do," he said. With another move of his hand, a dreamcatcher appeared in his hand, and before Killian could attempt to say anything, the dreamcatcher glowed with magical light.

~

Killian groaned as the memory ended and threw the dreamcatcher across the room.

It was never easy to be reminded of that particular memory in Neverland - neither how much Gold used to cherish it - especially while watching another one of those damn dreamcatchers.

He leaned forward where he sat, once again trying to piece the story together as he grabbed a fistful of his hair.

It had been during Neal's first birthday party. Snow and David had done a big celebration, inviting half the town, and he'd excused himself to use the facilities only once.

That had been enough for Rumpelstiltskin, it seemed.

The nosebleed, bloody hell. He hadn't healed him there, he'd merely paused the bleeding... then let it run again while Killian had been talking to David, and a bunch of blood had shot out of his nose, scaring them both along with everyone around them. Emma had healed him immediately, but it had dampened his mood - and maybe even hers - for the rest of the evening.

To no surprise, he felt tears well up in his eyes. It was far from the first, or most meaningful, moment that was now ruined knowing the whole story.

He looked at the discarded dreamcatcher and thought of how Gold seemed bloody turned on by the thought of Belle and Emma being in the house with them, close enough to catch them- him red-handed... yet how mad Gold would get every time Killian would mention Belle. True, some of those times Killian's intentions might not have been purely out of interest for Belle being lied to, but Gold himself felt so free to talk about Emma whenever and however he bloody well wanted.

With a shaky sigh, Killian looked at the remaining dreamcatchers, trembling to think that one of them could include Emma being hurt as well.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2019 Day 2: Amnesia

a feeling you thought you'd forgotten | @alullabytoleaveby Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 18242 Main Tags and Warnings: AU, Established Relationship, Amnesia, Kid Fic Summary: When Dean wakes up with five years of his memory missing he knows that something supernatural is at work. But without much to go on, there's no simple solution to fix it. Navigating this new world where he's married to Cas and they have a kid isn't going to be easy, but nothing is going to be harder than tackling the guilt he feels over forgetting their life together.

Forget-Me-Not | @lemonsorbae Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4771 Main Tags and Warnings: Christmas, Post-Canon, Temporary Amnesia, Fallen Angel Castiel Summary: The angels have fallen. Along with Castiel’s grace Metatron’s also taken his memories. Kevin lives. Sam is on the mend.

Nothing Else Matters | @breathingdestiel Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2092 Main Tags and Warnings: s13 canon divergence, de-aging, referenced canon character death Summary: Dean is deaged, which leads to him and Cas talking about their feelings.

Angel In the French Quarter (WIP) | @a-winchester-scorned  Rating: Explicit Word Count: 17792 Main Tags and Warnings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel, Jo Harvelle/Kevin Tran, Billie (Supernatural: Form and Void)/Crowley (Supernatural), romance, angst, soulmates, eventual smut, mcd, untagged ships, s11, Canon divergent, amnesia, Summary: Dean has had a rough week. He takes an impromptu trip to New Orleans to spend some time in his favorite little tourist neighborhood, the French Quarter. There he meets Cas, who seems to Dean like a distant memory, or family he hasn't met yet. Is Dean going crazy? Will Cas scare Dean off with his obvious interest and lack of social awareness? What's Bobby doing here? All this and more, this week on, "ANGEL in the FRENCH QUARTER."

Unthought Known (WIP) | @noiproksa Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 12280 Main Tags and Warnings: Profound Bond, Platonic Soulmates, Amnesia, Friendship, Self-Made Family, Canon Compliant, Case Fic, Soul Bond, Team Free Will Summary: Dean wakes up in an abandoned mental institution with no memories and two strange guys, ‘Sam’ and ‘Castiel.’ They have to work together if they want to find out who they are and what happened to them. And what the hell is this profound bond he seems to share with Castiel? (Intended as gen, but can be read as Destiel pre-slash.)

holy, holy, holy | @deanirae Rating: Explicit Word Count: 54106 Main Tags and Warnings: memory loss, emotional manipulation, major character death, angst Summary: There was a hell-hound gnawing at the bones of Dean’s legs, each bite a payment for Sam’s breaths. To the very end, Dean thought it was a good price. He was willing to pay. But the angel who listened had learned about the great plot of using a brave, righteous man to start a petty Apocalypse and sacrificed everything to ensure it would never begin. It was 2008 and it’s probably still Wednesday now and Cas is keeping Dean safe, away from Heaven, from Hell, from everything. Despite Castiel’s best efforts, everything remains pretty determined to either get its hands on Dean or just get him back where he allegedly belongs. But there’s at least four theories about where that is and Dean seems to be the only one who doesn’t have one. Most of the time he just feels something is amiss and he keeps wondering when it’s going to be Friday and if the purple dog is ever going to come back.

The Wedding Night | @60r3d0m Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4951 Main Tags and Warnings: Amnesia, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Humour, Dubious Consent, Happy Ending Summary: When a monster starts targeting newlywed couples, Dean does the logical thing and offers his hand in marriage. Cas accepts. And it's all going good. Maybe Dean's a little too dedicated to the ruse when he accidentally calls Cas 'sweetheart' in private a couple of times, and maybe he kind of takes it upon himself to be the Best Husband Ever, ushering him around with a hand to the small of his back while uttering a disproportionate amount of praise, but other than that, it's all under control. But then the monster attacks and Cas doesn't remember anything anymore. And then there's a snooping innkeeper who makes it impossible to tell Cas about their sham marriage. And it probably doesn't help that it happens to be their wedding night and Cas is intent on seeing their consummation through.

[thecharmingknightemma]

rules

Hello everyone! I'm sorry if this is long but it's necessary so that you can jump straight into writing with me even if Emma is nearly an oc or a stranger to your muses - and because I'm not English and want to be sure it's all clear. I've been writing for eight years and I'm known to be chill and accommodating but I am also extremely aware of what my preferences and comfort zones are so please read the rules.

My name is Ele, I'm 31, cis woman, super friendly, slow because chronically ill especially when it comes to ooc chat which require too much energy and focus from me, so while I love plotting and commenting threads don't expect ooc chats to be a priority if they aren't fully about the threads. This blog has sideblogs: 'monsterinamusicbox', sosadandyetsoamazing, musesonawhim, and more might come. 

This is an AU Blog so you don't really need to have seen OUAT because this is NOT canon Emma Swan, there is no Storybrooke, and the princess Emma who remembers what was meant to happen in OUAT will let you know everything that you missed; so you'll need to read Emma's bio, either her AU enchanted forest backstory OR the backstory from our world which can fit Marvel, DC and other shows, depending on which character you play (it's awkward to realize the other person has no idea of what I'm writing, like I said, this won't be Emma Swan even in our world, she's been raised by her parents).

There is another backstory for non Enchanted Forest crossovers that doesn't have an abusive ex in it, check it out if the original one is triggering for you. You can request it, no explanation needed.

update of July 26: due to my health and lack of time I can't try to plot with every single mutual even if I follow first, so I ask you to please give me a sign you read my pages and would like to rp. Either by liking my many plotting calls, sending me a meme, liking starter calls, anything will do. Often when I try to plot people haven't read my pages yet or don't reply, and it's a lost occasion to plot with people who are ready. Thank you for your understanding.

WHO I RP WITH

I’m mutuals only and selective. If I don't follow you and you try to rp I'll ignore you, because I get anxious about saying no. If curious you can find reasons why I didn't follow you back here. Memes and opens have no expiration date. Untagged nsfw = I unfollow. Some shows I prefer not to interact with because I don't know them or aren't into some of their themes: vampire diaries, teen wolf, riverdale, gossip girls and any zombie/demons show outside of IZombie, Lucifer and Buffy/Angel.

Between asterisks it's what only people who write ouat characters need to read, the rest is for everyone:

**If your character is involved in her backstory, you have every right to discuss details with me so you won't feel godmodded/forced to adapt to it! I will also change things connected to your ch, for example if I write with a Jefferson, Emma's bff will be Ariel and not Grace. I'd rather not interact with ocs that are supposed to be her siblings or children etc. Henry was never born so if you play Henry we should plot it out because my Emma can’t be pregnant as a kid or she will be a completely different character.**

In this blog due to backstory issues she would want Regina dead so I prefer NOT to interact nor come up with new aus in which she’s fine with it (I have 2 plotted exceptions and that’s enough for me), and same goes for people who are currently villains from any fandom, though in that case we can plot out exceptions in which they aren’t being villains; if they are a grey-area, aren't people who hurt her family, and if you are pro-redemption it's fine, if not Emma wouldn't submit to anyone or bother to chat, she will try to kill them or die, so no threads are really doable. She's also not the type to hang out/bother with characters who are rude to her or to insist if they want her to leave, or to support who keeps manipulating her, hurting people or doesn't seem to be helped by her presence at all but keeps coming to her with pain to share (the latter would get a therapist card). Basically: Killian Jones the way he was written in the show, or even a Rumplestiltskin who found Belle and chose to do better and so on are fine. Villains who will mistreat Emma, have hurt her family, or are currently hunting children for sport? Not good for Emma.

TRIGGERS AND WHAT I WON’T WRITE

Triggers will be tagged ‘name of the trigger tw’, you can always ask me to tag more AND tell me if something in her backstory makes you uncomfortable, so that I can find a solution (that issue is resolved/doesn't need to be mentioned) or tell you if it can't be skipped and you can choose not to write with me. I don’t write about miscarriage, toxic/abusive relationships and rape between my character and yours (temporarily evil due to magic/Dark One Emma being manipulative is fine, but rape is still a no). It’s not exactly a trigger but please tag your gore and body horror? The topic of hell is also complicate, I need you not to focus too much on torture and eternal damnation. And please, PLEASE, tag your daddy kink/mommy kink references ic and ooc. 

MEMES

I’d rather get asks when you want to start a thread, reblog all the memes you want from me. I will reblog from the source or send you one if you prefer it that way but I don’t care if you reblog them from me.

ACTIVITY

Sometimes I'm fast, some I'm slow, but you can have as many threads with me as you want, take your time, reply as much as you want as long as you give me enough to write, drop threads, send memes or not. I like icons but I don't need them to write, you can stop using them whenever. 

NSFW and relationships

NSFW of the smut kind will be tagged as such and usually put under read more. I don’t write smut with everyone, only with people I know ooc/feel comfortable writing it with. I love shipping but I DON'T FORCESHIP, FRIENDSHIPS ARE WELCOMED. My Emma is straight. I do not romantically ship her with Neal/Baelfire even in aus, in her dark witch verse he's a past love Emma Swan had. Happy to find out if a relationship works between my Emma and Killian (my nearly automatic otp if you don't write him darker than in canon), the Huntsman, AU Pinocchio, Jefferson, and more if there is chemistry, but friendship is open to any of them too. Here for crossover ships as well. I’d really appreciate if you could tag your Swan Queen and Swan Thief, thank you.

OTHER FANDOMS I LIKE

Due to potential aus or crossovers, as in princess Emma showing up through a portal or me writing aus to adapt to your fandom, I want to bring up that some of the shows and movies I know are/what she can be in them with small changes to her regular backstory:

AOS (she can easily be inhuman or an alien),

Avengers movies (and at least Thor, Cap, Iron Man and Hulk’s movies), Ant-Man, Captain Marvel (same as above),

the 100 (she’s too happy to be anything but someone who comes from an unknown village or comes from one of the unknown worlds),

Chuck (she can be an ordinary human being, enhanced person/semi-alien depending on who rps the Chuck characters),

Elementary (she can be a regular human or whatever you want)

Flash (she can be a metahuman),

Guardians of the Galaxy (Same as for Marvel),

Legends of Tomorrow (human, alien, metahuman),

Doctor Who (she can be anything),

Firefly: she can be anything (I can also shake things up with her being an alien/having powers OR by coming from the planet where fairy tales are real).

Galavant (same universe as the Enchanted Forest),

Supergirl (she can be an ordinary human or alien),

IZombie (human or zombie),

Lost (she can be anything anything)

Buffy and Angel but only the tvshows (human, witch, one of the many new slayers),

Timeless (human unless the other rper prefers a crossover),

Lord of the Rings (probably just princess Emma portal jumping?)

pretty much any famous sitcom like Friends, the Office, Parks and Rec, b99 (likely she can only be human unless asked otherwise).

Also Lucifer and Good Omens (she could be an ordinary human or it’s more of a crossover in which she comes from her own universe and has magic), and more I can’t think of right now.

[oliverwxod]

Tell me you love me even if you don’t (Part 2)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: mentions of sex like always (oops), swearing

Summary: Part 1  

Masterlist

Y/n stood at the end of her bed staring at the red tissue papered package.

Lately Bucky seeemed really down, ever since he admitted how he felt. So y/n was taking it upon herself to cheer him up. She had told him she had a surprise for him tonight, telling him to come by her room at 10.

She unwrapped the paper carefully, revealing a set of lace, scarlet coloured lingerie. Bucky had once told her that she looked stunning in red so she just had to pick it.

she put it on, staring at herself in the mirror, admiring the way it fit her perfectly. Normally she would never do something like this but Bucky deserved to have a good time as he had be so down.

She patiently sat on the end of her bed in silence, waiting for Bucky who should be there any minute. 30 minutes later and he wasn’t there yet making her worry.

Pulling her silk robe on to cover up she left her room in search of him.

“Hey Steve” she spoke gaining the Captains attention. He was sitting on the compound sofa watching tv.

“Hey Y/n, what’s up?” He asked flashing her a smile.

“Have you seen Bucky? He said he would drop by tonight” she spoke trying to hide how disappointed she was.

“Oh- I - think he went out to a bar with Sam and Clint” Steve replied.

“Oh- right. Okay. Well thanks anyway!” She spoke “good night”

“Night love” He spoke back watching her leave the room.

Steve sighed knowing exactly what Bucky was probably going to do. He had told Steve all about the situation with Y/n and if he knew his friend he knew he was going to drink his self silly and wake up with a lot of regrets.

———————————————————-

“Where were you last night?” Y/n asked walking into the kitchen where Bucky was sitting at one of the breakfast bar stools, chatting with Steve.

“Oh -uh me and Steve went out” he spoke stuttering, looking to Steve who froze.

“Um yeah, yeah we did” he spoke. Knowing that y/n knew he was lying as y/n had seen and spoke to him last night at the compound.

Bucky didn’t wait any longer, leaving the kitchen as soon as he could.

“Why’s he lying to me? Were you lying to me last night when you said he went out with Sam and Clint?”

“Maybe you should talk to Bucky”

“Look Steve if he wanted to tell me he wouldn’t have lied. I need to know if I’ve done something wrong”

“I don’t know how you’ll react to the truth” he spoke.

“Whatever it is wont be the end of the world” she spoke, confused. She didn’t understand the sudden ignorance on Bucky’s behalf.

“He was with Clint and Sam at a bar. But they came home before him.” He started “Look- I’m just going to be out right with you here y/n, Bucky slept with someone last night”

“Oh. Okay” she spoke slightly shocked. She wasn’t expecting that.

“You okay?” Steve asked, watching her reaction closely. She seemed pretty calm to him, as if she wasn’t bothered.

“Yeah why wouldn’t I be?” She shrugged. “He can do what he wants”

Steve nodded not really knowing what to say. It was an awkward situation for him. He knew why Bucky did it, but it wasn’t Steve’s place to say.

——————————————

Y/n left the kitchen, not wanting Steve to see through her fake smile and careless attitude towards the information he shared about Bucky.

He slept with someone

Someone that wasn’t her. Even though she knew he was a free man and could do what he wanted.Y/n was the one who made that clear to him. 

Yet she couldn’t shake the sick feeling. Bucky had been with someone else last night while she waited for him, dressed up for him. She never thought she would be in this situation. But she knew eventually Bucky would move on from her and want to actually start a life with someone else, he couldn’t wait on her forever, nor did she want him to. Y/n was now a waste of his time after making it clear she didn’t want anything apart from sex from him.

She couldn’t understand why she was feeling this way.

---------------------------------------------

Bucky had avoided Y/n for weeks now. He had lead himself down a path of self destruction. Drinking himself to sleep, going out to bars and causing trouble, getting into fights with everyone and anyone. 

It hurt Y/n to see him this way, yet he didn’t want to speak to her. He only came to her occasionally in the middle of the night, crawling into bed next to her and letting her cuddle him. Her fingers tracing mindless patterns on his back, soothing him to sleep and letting him pretend he was hers for the night. 

Yet he still wouldn’t talk to her. Just going to her for comfort every now and then.

It was all becoming too much. She couldn't carry on seeing him self destruct like this. She had never realised how horribly lonely and unhappy she was without him around all the time. 

She had never realised how happy Bucky made her without even trying. She couldn’t admit to herself how she felt about him though. Knowing she wasn’t what Bucky needed. He may have wanted her, but she knew she was bad for him.

“Bucky” she spoke quietly. He was laying next to her in her bed, drunk and sleepy, wanting nothing more than to be close to her.

“mmmph” he made a small humming sound in reply, his arms latching on around her waist and pulling her to him. 

Her hand automatically went to his hair, softly stroking it the way he loved. 

“please stop doing this to yourself.” she spoke. 

“mmmh maybe” he said sleepily, it was clear he wasn’t even listening.

Y/n took it upon herself to look at him properly. He seemed at peace, now asleep next to her, a small smile on his face which brought one upon her own. 

“what are you doing to me Bucky” she whispered shaking her head to herself, her hand still carding through his hair softly. “I can’t love you but... fuck. I really do and I shouldn’t”

“you should” he whispered, his eyes still closed.

Y/n froze.

“oh my god, I thought- I thought you were asleep.” she spoke, she took her hands away from his hair, trembling slightly. He had heard her admit out loud what she never should feel for anyone. 

Bucky could sense she was panicking. His eyes opening and meeting hers. She tried to remove herself from his grip, but he held on, dragging her down so she couldn’t move.

“don’t leave me” he spoke, vulnerability in his voice. 

“Bucky you have to ignore what I just said.” 

“what? that you love me?” he asked with a small smile.

“I’m being serious.” she spoke. 

“there’s no way i’m ever forgetting that doll.” he said smirking slightly.

“Bucky please” 

“no” he said. Sitting up now, he was going to get to the bottom of this. “why can’t you let yourself love me. What are you so scared of?” 

Y/n didn’t answer, refusing to look at him.

“y/n. Tell me what you’re so scared of. What we have right here is so rare, I know that i’m never going to love another person like I love you. And you just said you love me too, we would be silly not to fight for this.” Bucky spoke gently.

“you say that- but -” she couldn’t get her words out, tears falling down her face. Bucky reached out wiping them away then taking hold of her jaw gently turning her face so she would look at him.

“but what?” 

“but someone else will always come along, someone better - then you’ll leave” 

“I can promise you now. I would never ever leave you. I’ve been falling for you since the day we met years ago. No one has ever even turned my head.” he spoke, smiling softly at her. “Plus I could say the same about you. Some other guy might come along and you may pick them over me. You deserve someone who isn’t a monster. But if you’ll have me i’ll happily be yours for as long as you want me.” 

“you’re not a monster.” she spoke frowning. Hating how Bucky thought that. Y/n leaned forward, her hand cupping the side of his jaw now and pulling him down to meet her lips in a soft kiss.

 “you know, you’re the second person in the entire world that i’ve said those three words to” she said looking down at the bed sheets with an embarrassed smile. 

Bucky frowned. 

“who was the first?” he asked curiously.

“my mother” she spoke watching his reaction. He chuckled, happy it wasn’t a guy who had broken her heart previously.

“well doll, i’m honored. So what do you say? should we do it properly this time?” 

“yes. We definitely should. Would be silly not too right?” she spoke, smiling happily at him.

Tagging people who commented on part 1 just in case you wanted to read a second part. Message me if you want to be untagged. Thank you for reading and commenting on part 1 love you loads xx

@thirstresponsibly @marvelheadquarters @ilovethings-somuch @optimisticheartyouth @overlywhelmedfangirl @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @songsaboutcupcakes @makapaka11 @lusty-loki @uselesspileofstressandsadness @iron-dad-is-my-new-kink

[what-lovely-scales-fandom]

It's fascinating to me who gets prioritized in those old posts "It's okay to like characters who do bad things, but don't pretend they didn't do those bad things." Because from what I've seen it's usually aimed at fans who. Don't pretend they didn't do those bad things. Usually at the likes of Chara Dreemurr, Asgore, and Gabriel Reyes. And like, especially back in the day, Chara fans weren't pretending that they didn't do anything bad, they were just the only ones not DEFINING them SOLELY off of the bad things they did. There've been so many analyses trying to show why Chara might have done what they did both in their backstory and on the No Mercy run, but I've never seen any that tried to claim those actions WEREN'T terrible things to do. Just that they weren't so terrible that they could never be forgiven by anyone.

Asgore is a particularly strange case because like. So much of his character is DEFINED by his guilt and regret. Of COURSE he did bad things. You can barely even be a fan of the man without realizing that, it's such a huge part of him. Like even a Sans stan-equivalent style fan, someone with THAT LITTLE a grasp on his character, still couldn't miss how much he regrets the bad things he did. We can just acknowledge that leading a people who were figuratively or even literally dying without hope, Asgore was desperate to give the monsters he was responsible for some kind of future to hold onto. We can see how much he wants to change course, and that he just doesn't know how to at this point. So when Frisk and the others show him how to find a better path forward, he takes it, and we can forgive him.

And Gabriel is just a simple case of his fans being willing to look at him and try to understand him. How many people who hate Gabriel even understand him the tiniest bit, his thoughts or his position or how he feels? How many people hear his line to Seven-Six, "And you sure know how to play boy scout," and think he's simply calling Seven-Six a goody two-shoes even though that doesn't make any sense whatsoever, how many of them think of Gabriel THAT LITTLE? The people who hate Gabriel see a shadowy man in a mask who kills people and decide that's ALL they want to see. Gabriel's fans just want to try and see what might be beneath the mask. Trying to see a man with thoughts and motivations rather than a generic incarnation of evil is all it takes to get branded with the label "Draco In Leather Pants."

And the most noteworthy thing about all this is that these fandoms are FAR from empty of characters whose fans DO overlook the bad things they do. These kinds of posts would be PERFECTLY suited to fans of certain other characters, rather than the people who see a character the vast majority of the fandom hates and try to understand them. Just look at Undyne, who is literally introduced trying to murder a child. We don't know Frisk's precise age, but we do have a probable window -- we know they aren't a teenager yet, because Snowdrake isn't wearing a striped shirt, and we know they're old enough to walk up a mountain and then through the underground, so the most likely window is 8-12 years old. Undyne tries to kill a child that young. And if you compare how her guilt for that is treated and how she's judged for it in fan works -- occasionally brought up for a few lines, but usually forgotten entirely -- with how CHARA'S guilt for the death of Asriel and their actions on the No Mercy run is treated and judged -- it almost always permeates their entire character and never fully goes away -- the difference is STAGGERING. If you think there's a problem with characters' bad actions being swept under the rug, Undyne would be the FIRST character whose fans you should be looking at, not ignored in favor of people who want to empathize with a miserable, self-loathing, suicidal child or a miserable, self-loathing, suicidal king.

Overwatch is, if anything, even worse. Undyne at least has a highly sympathetic reason for what she does -- trying to free her people from an unjust imprisonment. Seven-Six and Junkrat have no such motivations: Seven-Six is after answers to his own personal questions, and Junkrat just wants money and fun. To get these things, Seven-Six becomes a ruthless, violent pseudo-vigilante who is specifically noted to put civilians in danger frequently, and Junkrat is literally an international criminal with a love for giant explosions and a body count that's god knows how high. Yet somehow fans treat Junkrat like a goofy cinnamon roll and Seven-Six is usually characterized as a combination of "grumpy jerk with a heart of gold" and "gruff and cynical hero." Hell, just look at Mandopony's "Soldiers" -- lines like "We must right these wrongs somehow," "I'm still watching over anyone defenseless," and "If you're innocent you'll never need to fear me," all supposedly coming from a man who is very open about not caring about anything or anyone anymore and who consistently risks the lives of innocents. His TVTropes page is FULL of tropes like "Knight in Sour Armor" that don't fit him at ALL. And then there's the number of people who simply ignore the fact that Junkrat has killed bare-minimum dozens of people -- and god, that's not even getting into the "Junkrat and Roadhog adopt Efi" posts and whatnot, which are awful for SO many reasons -- and the number of alignment charts that inexplicable place him as Chaotic Neutral. THESE are characters whose bad actions are ignored by their fans if EVER there were any. But they're mostly ignored by the "It's okay to like characters who do bad things, but don't pretend they didn't do those bad things" posts -- to an EXTENT you see Junkrat mentioned in those posts, but the other two barely are at all.

What does this mean? Does it mean anything at all? Hell if I know. But it's def a tendency I've seen.

(The other characters I've seen this post aimed at are mostly actual villains or near-villains NO ONE was saying did nothing wrong. And Kylo Ren. And the men from Dragon Age. Also lots of empty untagged posts. And someone named "Important" keeps coming up.)

[thewalkingdead-imagines]

Negan Imagine ~ Whirlwind

With a wide heartfelt smile painted all over the face, happy laughs and chuckles rumbling through the firm chest, wide open and soft eyes and half humming, half singing a nursery rhyme, that’s the way the leader of the Sanctuary sat on the couch in the bright living room, bouncing Judith softly on his leg while she giggled enthusiastically.

Right now it was hard to picture this man, who acted so fatherly and kind in these very moments, with blood splatted over his leather jacket and his salt and pepper beard, laughing mockingly, an odd, terrifying and still jolly glance stuck in possessed looking eyes and a bloody baseball bat in his hand on whose barbed wires stuck bone, flesh and brain mush of two of your friends.

Still you forced yourself to, as you sat on the other couch, glancing at him and your younger sister while you tried to keep the new picture from growing too much on you as it let, much to your annoyance, a warmth grow in you.

But all the work of suppressing didn’t pay off as some new thoughts began to sneak into your mind.

Did he have a family before all this? Had he been a Dad and had bounced his own children on his leg like Judith right now before the world had gone south, had made him lose them and had turned a part of him into the person you had seen that night?

Or didn’t he ever have children but had wished to and it had for some reason never worked before the apocalypse had taken this chance once for all away from him?

Who knew.

Or maybe, he was just a damn psychopath playing games with you right in these seconds.

Cursing inwardly about yourself you leaned deeper into the soft beige fabric of the couch, gulping heavily as you tried to deny that there was something in you that felt drawn to whatever the hell was happening in front of your eyes.

“Loosened your bodice a bit, Sweetheart?”, Negan asked, suddenly with that signature grin on his lips even though there still was a good bit of the heartfelt smile left as he ripped you out of your trance.

Your glance shot at him, shocked by the sudden sound you had heard as a throaty laugh was filling the air.

“Just thought ‘cause…damn Baby, you were smiling at me and I hadn’t seen that yet”, he grinned, his hazel eyes were darting right into yours while you could feel some heat rushing into your cheeks, displaying the embarrassment that was running through your veins along with the anger about yourself.

“No need to blush”, Negan grinned, letting his tongue run over his lower lip, “Even though I really gotta say I fucking like that view.” “Got some other shit for you on my mind that could make you fucking blush as well”, he grinned, winking at you while another throaty chuckle rumbled through his chest.

You were still perplex, trying to get yourself back in line as you clenched your jaw tightly and tried to get think of a comeback.

Unsuccessfully.

Instead you just narrowed your glance slightly, put the uninterested expression back on as well as you could right now while Negan was still grinning widely at you, now with his brows perked up.

“Oh I see whatcha trying to do”, he mumbled smirking, still lightly bouncing Judith on his leg, “But you can’t hide what was already fucking seen.”

You gulped, biting your inner cheek as you felt horribly insecure and exposed right in these moments, not able to fight back because you actually knew that he was right.

No matter how much you hated it.

As if he knew what you were thinking, he knowingly grinned and chuckled lightly as he slightly shook his head before he glanced back at the quietly giggling Judith.

“Maybe you should go tell your big sis that I’m not as much of a bad fella as she wants to think. May-fucking-be you should tell her that big ol’ Negan’s actually a damn fine man”, he chuckled right before you heard Judith giggling a little louder as her tiny and chubby hands reached out to Negan and made a soft grabbing motion.

“Yeah? Will you do that?”, Negan cooed, chuckling while the big smile made his dimples visible and let the pearly white teeth flash up.

You gulped, feeling how the warmth that was still lingering in you got joined by a whole other mix of different feelings which turned into a whirlwind of emotions inside you just as Judith giggles hushed as she quietly yawned. Playfully, Negan widened his eyes as much as Judith widened her small mouth before she let herself drop down and slump right against him, without even finishing her yawn yet. Her rosy cheek pressed flush against Negan’s chest as her chubby fingers softly grabbed the fabric of his white shirt and curled her hands into small fists to hold a little closer onto it as she let go of the yawn. “After some nap? Alright”, Negan chuckled before he looked to his side, “But I think you forgot something fucking important.” With that he grabbed the grey elephant that had been leaning against his side this whole time before he carefully pulled it over to Judith, whose eyes were lightening up by the sight of her favorite stuffed animal and whose hand was leaving Negan’s shirt for a moment to take the elephant into her small embrace. “There we go”, he quietly chuckled, placing the plushy in her arm that was almost too big for her to hold. Still, she did as she closed her eyes and some small curls fell into her relaxed face before the way Negan’s arms wrapped around the small body on his lap got your attention right back to him. The grin was gone again as he kept her safely against his chest, one of his large hands moved up to cup the side of her small head while the heartfelt smile was fully taking its place again that forced you to throw the acting psychopath theory over board. This right there, this was real and genuine. And while he began to dandle her into a dovish slumber, you could feel how the smile began to grow on your face again, slowly but surely, until it had curled the corners of your lips up. And just as you realized what was happening again, what this whirlwind inside you was doing to you, a pair of hazel eyes darted right back up into yours and damned you to let this whirlwind rage wilder until, earlier or later, in weeks or in months, it would make you lose any control over it once for all.

the gif isn’t mine/ I found it on google so credit to the original owner) tagging: @lovesjdm @jeffreydeanneganstrash @negans-network @sweetwittlebosco 
 @myrabbitholetoneverland@amysuemc@ashzombie13 @warriorqueen1991 @collette04@trashimaginezblog@dragongirl420
 @dasani-saraai@timeladyrikaofgallifrey @dinodiegos @missmotherhen@kinkygamertrash @beahippie23 @xabeautifultragedyx@negansmagic@starwarsandstufff@bdohe21 @lovesjdm @vanilla-negan @to-pick-ourselves-up-7@roselover159@mamarhee @mini-me-ow@bellawindixon@dlb1999@the-writingdead@thelittlewolf45@collette04@adixon13@nijiru@twentyonewalkers @originalwinchestervamp@readytourie@jtklover123 @i-am-lady-anarchy@marauderspads@humble-thumb@hp-hogwartsexpress @mydeliciousdandelion @unholyjs @dancing-in-embers@doggosarefun @xojeffreydeanmorgan @hela-rious48@thelittlewolf45@smolsstuff@emoryhemsworth (In case you want to be tagged or untagged for specific things or everything I write, just let me know)

[janiedean]

It really sucks how judgmental you and some people in this fandom are of anyone who doesn't interpret the text the same way as you or who you deem as intellectually inferior to you. I agree with so many of your ideas about the characters, but I hate how high and mighty you are about those ideas. Someone isn't an idiot if they interpret Jon or Cersei differently than you.

......

lmao

okay anon, thing is: one thing is being high and mighty, one thing is telling you that you’re not reading the text.

like. I read yesterday someone being like ‘omg I read someone dared saying C. abused people and murdered someone before puberty HOW STUPID CAN PEOPLE BE’. it’s textual evidence that a) she molested tyrion sexually and that’s even without taking account my opinion re lann*ncest, b) that SHE KILLED MELARA WHEN THEY WERE TWELVE THROWING THE POOR GIRL DOWN A WELL, which means that whoever said it cannot fucking read the text because it’s black on white that she did both those things and refusing to accept it is Not Reading The Text. that’s not even text interpretation, that’s basic textual reading.

now: never mind cersei who gets a pass for about every fucking shit she pulls because she’s a woman, and don’t tell me she doesn’t because if she got as much shit about robert’s fifteen bastards that she ordered dead without even blinking as theon got for two kids that he’s felt guilty about since it happened then we could discuss it but she doesn’t and that’s not even the beginning of it. now: do you see me tagging my opinions? like, honestly, if I think something shitty about cersei, do you see me tagging it? I didn’t even tag the one time I ranted about the valonqar prophecy with her, I only tagged it with the prophecy/meta/the two characters I thought were the v. and the younger and more beautiful queen, because in the middle I said that imo cersei only cares for herself and I know ppl on her tag aren’t into reading that opinion. so: I didn’t tag it. now: how many people came in my inbox informing me my opinion of c. sucked, was biased and so on never mind lann*ncest never mind actually harassing me for it? well, enough that I had to shut down anon to avoid feeling like shit for two days about it. so like, I’m so high and mighty that I keep my opinions about people I don’t like untagged even if I think that the other side can’t read. but okay.

now, about jonc: listen, fact is, there’s exactly ten people in this fandom that I know of who give a shit about jonc period and three of them are fanartists who show up once in a while. like. exactly TEN. I made peace with the fact that no one gives a fuck about jonc, I 100% embraced that if I want content I have to do it myself, fine, whatever. but what I’m really getting sick of is that every goddamned fucking time I see the jonc tag updating (as in, five times each month if it’s a good month), it’s someone informing us of how selfish, pathetic, useless and dumb he is FOR THINGS THAT ALL OF THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY DO ALL THE TIME and for which fandom at large praises them. or something about how him being in love with R is the most horribly pathetic thing that’s happened to adwd, or how he’s an idiot because he apparently hasn’t understood that aegon is fake because his eyes aren’t the same color as R’s when not even dany’s or viserys’s are, but no one says they aren’t targs for THAT now, do they? and sorry but reading that this dude would treat either rhaenys or jon snow like shit when this is canon:

Last night he'd dreamt of Stoney Sept again. Alone, with sword in hand, he ran from house to house, smashing down doors, racing up stairs, leaping from roof to roof, as his ears rang to the sound of distant bells. Deep bronze booms and silver chiming pounded through his skull, a maddening cacophony of noise that grew ever louder until it seemed as if his head would explode. Seventeen years had come and gone since the Battle of the Bells, yet the sound of bells ringing still tied a knot in his guts. 

Others might claim that the realm was lost when Prince Rhaegar fell to Robert's warhammer on the Trident, but the Battle of the Trident would never have been fought if the griffin had only slain the stag there in Stoney Sept. The bells tolled for all of us that day. For Aerys and his queen, for Elia of Dorne and her little daughter, for every true man and honest woman in the Seven Kingdoms. And for my silver prince.

now: it’s there black on white that he feels guilty for BOTH elia’s and rhaenys’s death, it’s not interpretation, it’s what is fucking written in there same as you can’t interpret that ned’s head got cut or cat’s last thought before she died was about ned loving her hair. so excuse me but I’m tired of going into a character who’s in my goddamned top ten and have to always, always run into people assuming he’s a pathetic selfish asshole (and the one time I tried to argue that there’s no way he’s *selfish*, maybe all the contrary to a pathological degree, the answer was basically ‘lol cannot hear you’ and not even a reblog but nvm that) rather than actual content because any of those people who have a obvious hateboner for jonc can’t just fucking tag it with *anti* jon connington. no, they have to use the character name and it’s never *content*, it’s just this drivel over and over again. and since I don’t do it with characters I don’t like, I’d appreciate if I could have the same courtesy spared for this asshole.

that said, the situation is that *one* single person (that I blocked but that’s apparently not enough for tumblr to spare me from seeing them on the tag) has asked that question to multiple blogs which all agree on jonc being shitty which means that it has popped up on the tag a whole lot in the last month and like....... if you don’t like that character why do you care so much, IDEK, but wow, I wrote one post, that I tagged with the character only, saying that ppl don’t bother to read his chapters (btw, one of the people who replied that he’d have been shitty to both jon and rhaenys was someone I ended up blocking because they were on the tag like ‘lololol grayscale I’m sure elia is laughing from the afterlife’ and when I told them it wasn’t funny and if they could avoid tagging that stuff I got told to fuck off but fine I guess, that was me being holier than thou I suppose...) which is true because they don’t, they only base their reading of jonc on that ONE line about elia which is a) obv. proof he’s jealous, b) way less bad than anything cersei and barristan think about her just to say two but lmao I don’t see them getting dragged for it, but everything else? what? two full chapters? do they exist? tyrion’s chapers? never knew them.

like.

anon, tbqh at this point if you wanna think I’m holier than thou just think that because while I like to think I’m not, if there is one thing I know I’m good at is text analysis (okay, last time I said I got two degrees based on text analysis I got told ‘ah okay so if she studies she’s obv. bragging so she knows nothing’ by someone whose main theory was robb stark is the unsung villain of these books but lol I mean having studied this counts for nothing, right???) and it irks me that in a fandom based on books/text analysis I have to read **meta** which is obviously made by people who haven’t read the text and then when given a counterargument ignore it. but even with that, do you see me engaging with it? nah. I can 100% assure you none of the people I would like to see out of the jonc tag actually go on the jonc tag nor follow me, so they will never know that I think their opinion is shit unless they go looking for it. and this because I might have engaged with at least two of them on the topic once - and nicely, not *judgmentally* - and no one gave a shit or reconsidered their stance, so like, excuse me if once per month I write a post on my own blog venting about how imo a character I like gets a shit treatment.

and for the love of god, anon, sorry, glad you like my opinions, but the fact that you’re coming at me assuming I am judgmental when I come from a fucking month and a half of people literally harassing me on anon over my fucking triple-tagged opinions on c/ersei and lann/incest and ignoring anything I said about how uncomfortable it was making me just because I happened to, in the most generous explanation, WRITE A META WHERE I C/P-ED CANON QUOTES WHERE C. WAS AWFUL TO J. WHEN IT CAME TO HIS DISABILITY which GRRM wrote, certainly not *me*, and it happened to get reblogged by asoiafuni, is really, really rich.

like, I tagged that shit to hell and back so people who aren’t interested in jb wouldn’t find it, I made sure to warn every time, I even tag anti-c/antijc posts so they don’t show up on mobile search in case ppl don’t have the anti tag blacklisted because I’m THAT invested into making sure other people can blacklist if they feel like it, but I can’t fucking say on my blog that I think some people in this fandom pull their meta out of their asses and haven’t even read the chapters of the character they’re supposed to discuss? like... really?

also, I’ll tell you a secret: I don’t remember 90% of what happened in dany’s adwd chapters and I don’t remember about 60% of what happened in her got-asos chapters. zero. now: do you see me meta-ing about dany and/or discuss her arc if not in extremely broad terms unless asked? no, because while I don’t particularly like her, I also don’t think it’d be fair for me to meta about her BECAUSE IF I DON’T REMEMBER HER CHAPTERS THEN I’D BE PULLING OPINIONS OUT OF MY ASS, and I don’t go judging anyone’s opinion re dany beyond the basics because mine is that her chapters are so boring I can’t even remember them. at most I’ll discuss the show version and I can swear to you that even if I’m not a fan or anything I’m still more lenient with her than about 90% of people who aren’t fans, and since I don’t pull meta out of my ass for people whose chapters I haven’t read, I would be extremely grateful of the rest of this fandom paid jon connington the same damn bloody effort, especially when he has TWO of them and hating on him that way is like... why would you, just ignore his fucking existence and let us ten ppl into him have a decent tag.

btw, the ONE time I dared say on a post that wasn’t tagged to hell and back to avoid people finding it ‘it’s kind of hypocritical that people fight themselves over bi!CHARACTER headcanons *because asoiaf doesn’t have lgbt POV CHARACTERS* when they ignore jonc exist and he actually is an lgbt pov character so maybe it’d be nice if they cared about the rep’, I got someone like WELL HE ISN’T LGBT REP ENOUGH, and on the other side I’ve had people actually giving me shit for liking him/writing him content because I’m straight so how do I dare writing a gay dude, and like, idk, since I can’t like him in peace in that sense, can the universe allow me to at least not see bullshit on the tag or is that too much to ask?

and to end this rant: anon, not to be that person, but fyi I’m hardly the person who dictates how the wind flies in this fandom unless we count maybe theon/robb fandom as a ship, my opinions aren’t nearly as popular as opinions belonging to ppl who imvho don’t read these books and that’s fine, I don’t particularly care beyond cultivating my garden as voltaire used to say and see if anyone else wants to come and see the flowers and in case they’re more than free to take some, but like...... the idea that me expressing an opinion about the fact that people in this fandom don’t use the same standards when judging characters and some haven’t read the book or forgot it and assume they know anyway is somehow being high and mighty when I also don’t tag that shit 99% of the time (with jonc I do it just because I know no one but me and ten other ppl goes on that tag) when there’s people in this fandom who outright deny what’s written black on white and actually literally harass you on anon for it when I can 100% swear to you that the only times I’ve gone on anon in my entire life were for a) memes that required being on anon, b) sending people headcanon requests, c) sending people I ALREADY KNEW and who KNEW IT WAS ME personal things that I didn’t want ppl to attach to me because I don’t owe 100% of my life history to tumblr dot com and I always put my face to my opinions.

like, glad you like my opinions, but honestly, if you think this is me being judgmental, fair enough but maybe I’m also tired of having to read stuff that’s based on not having fucking read the book.

thank you.

[timeywimeygalaxy]

From His Clutches Chapter 4: Late Night Talks

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4

A/N: Wow! it's been a while! so sorry about that, with my last uni assignment and dwindling inspiration did not help but the next chapter is finally here! and a little platonic prinxiety and analogical for y'all. :)

T/W: Deceit (mentioned) that’s it for this chapter, it’s a pretty chilled chapter, I gave Virgil a break from all the angst.

Ships: eventual Moxiety and background Logince.

Tag List: @skelekitty42

Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged in updates!

Read on AO3

It felt like hours had passed before Virgil finally stopped crying whereas in reality, it was probably about 20 minutes, he looked at Roman’s tear stained tunic through his blurred eyes and felt a pang of guilt, “I’m sorry Roman I-“ he was cut off as Roman hugged him tighter “you have nothing to be sorry for virge” Virgil slowly detached himself from the prince’s hug, he exhaled a deep breath, and felt an immense relief to be in roman’s room away from the forest away from everything, he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie and sniffed as he sensed Roman watching him intensely.

He glanced over to the royal as he felt shame creep up his neck as if sensing what he was feeling Roman spoke “you have nothing to be sorry for” he repeated and continued “I should be the on apologising Virgil, I’m sorry for dragging you there, but you did the right thing when I told you run we couldn’t have both of us getting caught” Roman’s eyes flooded with guilt again as they stared at each other, “don’t worry princey, really I’ll be fine, I know you didn’t mean for any of that to happen” Virgil tried to get his voice under control and stop it from cracking every five seconds he didn’t want to break down again, Roman sensed this, and pulled Virgil into another protective hug as a comfortable silence fell between them, finding comfort in each other’s arms as they let time pass for a while before Virgil felt ready to ask the question that had been plaguing him since their return, he slowly pulled away from Roman’s embrace.

“he- hey roman….” Virgil inquired “hmm?” the royal whispered and the anxious side continued “what happened to you? What were those- those things?”   Roman gulped as if he’d been dreading these questions since they got back,  but he knew Virgil would want answers, after all it was his fault everything went…awry, his voice sounded hoarse when he started to answer “well, those creatures, they don’t typically dwell in the forests,  and they feed of off what you fear the most, they can manifest themselves as your deepest fears, and if you’re scared of them then that makes them impregnatable to harm, it becomes like a ghost, they can hurt you physically but you have no power, no way of fighting back as long as your fear dominates you” Roman explained as things started to click into place in Virgil’s head.  

That’s why he….it could hurt me?

“As soon as you let go of that dread, then you can hurt it, hence why it became solid when I drove my sword through it, I wasn’t the one that feared it” Roman disclosed as he felt the royal’s eyes meet his with a knowing stare,  Virgil felt his head start to spin again.

Focus, you need to focus!

But Virgil’s eyes widened when he was hit another realization.

Roman had created them.

“but…but how did you-?”

“I didn’t mean too!” Roman blurted out putting his hands gently on Virgil’s shoulders, pleading with his eyes “I swear!, I just- one day I felt horrible and I went into the realm and they were the creatures that showed up and I just…” he trailed off not knowing how to finish the sentence, Virgil understood though as he squeezed his shoulder.

“It’s fine princey, I get it” Roman looked relived, yet he still felt guilty, he was meant to protect Virgil not cause him more harm, he felt the anxious side break free of their embrace as he stands up he dusts some foliage of himself, Roman followed suit doing the same, man their clothes really did need to be cleaned and with a wave of his hand Roman had made their clothes spotless whilst also completely cleaning up their wounds in the process, Virgil smiled at him “thanks Roman” Roman bowed to him “It’s the least I can do” and Virgil chuckled.

---

Tossing and turning in the bed that Patton had made up for him in the spare room they had in there area of the mindscape, the anxious side couldn’t sleep, that wasn’t anything new but what was new was that he wasn’t with the dark sides anymore he wasn’t with Deceit therefore just getting up and wandering the mindscape didn’t seem like an option to him, even though he knew the others probably wouldn’t mind if he did so, he still felt that gnawing feeling in his stomach getting used to being able to be himself here was going to take time and he hated that, groaning in exasperation he kicked the covers off and crept towards the door, quietly opening it as to not to wake the other sides, he tiptoed out, creeping down the hallway, he saw that Roman and Patton’s doors were closed and no light peeked out from underneath they must be asleep.

He made his way further down the corridor, noticing a faint light from the bottom of the stairs he sneaked down silently peeking beneath the bannisters railing to see Logan sitting on the couch with a hot beverage in one hand and a book in the other, he laid down the mug on the coffee table and propped his legs up, he looks so relaxed Virgil thought smiling to himself liking this new side of Logan he was seeing, for someone who seemed so uptight a lot of the time it was nice to see him actually give himself a break once in a while, Virgil crouched on the stairs for a moment just watching the scene, his eyes widened when he realised he was kind of being a creeper, so he tried too as silently as he could make his way back up the stairs as to not disturb Logan and his reading time.

“Evening Virgil”

The anxious side froze on the stairs, glancing at Logan who hadn’t looked up from his book.

Shit.

He closed his eyes as he slowly turned to make his way down the stairs.

Now you’ve done it, he’s going to get angry at you for interrupting him.

“uh hi…I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt-“ he mumbled.

“nonsense, I had just finished the last chapter for the night, anything on your mind?” Logan asked gently he could see that Virgil was not feeling himself, or more of himself than usual depending on the way you look at the situation.

Virgil took a small breath for a moment and glanced up at Logan expecting to see fury on his face but instead he was met with a warm smile, Logan patted the couch and coaxed him over setting his book down on the table, he was hesitant at first but eventually found his legs moving there anyway, gingerly sitting down next to him, the logical trait looked at him with eyes of concern.

“Can I get you anything Virgil, tea, coffee?” he offered.

“uh no…no thank you” Virgil replied stuffing his hands into his hoodie pockets glancing around to room, he felt he was making things awkward, but Logan seemed comfortable enough.

“Is there anything you would like to talk about? Is there a reason why you’re up at this ungodly hour?”

Could ask you the same thing bookworm.

Virgil was silent for a moment fiddling with his hoodie togs, he thought back to breakfast that morning seeing Logan and Roman happy and it gave him butterflies, why was it never that easy with Dee?

“y-you and Roman?” he asked slightly wincing at asking something that sounded quite personal, but Logan simply smiled.

“yes, we have been together for a few months now, is there a particular reason why you’re thinking about our relationship?” It sounded so blunt the way Logan worded it which made Virgil flinch slightly, Logan saw this and started to backtrack “my apologies Virgil, I simply meant-“

“How does it work?” Virgil interrupted and looked away sheepishly.

Logan closed his mouth and let out a small chuckle “honestly I ask myself that same question sometimes, though Virgil I do believe you’ve heard of the term “opposites attract” “

Virgil nodded and listened intently, he didn’t expect to be talking to Logan about this of all things but here they were.

“but we seem to strike a good balance within each other, I can teach him to be more knowledgeable when he’s out on quests in his realm and he teaches me to be more…. carefree I think is the word I’m looking for”

Virgil smiled thinking about how sweet their relationship was…. what the hell had happened to his?

“Judging from your expression I can only guess that that is not the case for you and deceit?” Logan seemed a bit hesitant when asking this, but Virgil couldn’t deny he was right he tried to think of a response but came up empty.

Logan simply gave him a sympathetic smile “I’ve only been in a relationship for a short amount of time now but from what I’ve seen and read, both parties have to invest the same amount of effort in order for it to work”

Virgil remained quiet.

“It may not be my place to say this Virgil, but I do believe you deserve better than…”

Better than Deceit? Virgil thought, feeling slightly defensive about the situation there was a whole other side to him that the others just never saw, he could be sweet and caring and loving he was…he was- there’s that word Virgil thought to himself he was caring and sweet and loving….but then all that changed when he had started hanging out more with the light sides, the anxious trait pulled his focus back to Logan who had paused looking at Virgil with concern and he knew he was picking his words carefully as to not offend him either that or holding back from completely bashing on Deceit.

“-than your current situation, now I don’t fully understand what has happened and that is completely up to you if you would ever like to explain but for now I can see whole heartily that you are not happy and as far as I am aware happiness, trust and communication are the foundations of a healthy relationship”

Virgil’s eyes were welling up now, goddam Logan and his knowledge.

“Please know I say none of this to cause you upset, I just simply want to see you happy”

The anxious side laughed slightly as he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie.

“no…no you’re fine, it’s just-“

He sighed a shaky breath

Did he really want to say it? No, he couldn’t…not yet anyway.

He sniffed, and Logan put a gentle hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, he may not fully understand these kinds of feelings, but he knew how to comfort people… in his own way.

“so, you and Roman are happy?” Virgil asked.

“Oh, very much so” Logan gave a small smile.

A silence fell between them again before Logan spoke again

“I hope you don’t me saying this, but I saw you and Patton coming down to breakfast together this morning and I couldn’t help but wonder-”

“uh yeah…he just was helping me is all” Virgil felt a small blush creep across his cheeks when saying this and his heart fluttered a little, this didn’t help that his stomach was already tying itself in knots due to guilt, he would never cheat on Dee but he was terrified to go back and end it, what if he would never let him back here again? What if he hurt the others? What if-

His eyes had glazed over and Logan’s voice cut through his racing thoughts, he was brought back to reality.

“Virgil?, I apologize I didn’t mean to cause you any distress”

Virgil stood up a bit too quickly.

“huh? oh uh no it’s fine, I’m going to try and sleep” he mumbled out this sentence as Logan nodded his head.

“A wise decision, I think I will do the same” he grabbed his book and mug as he followed the anxious trait to the stairs, reaching the landing Logan turned to him and smiled “goodnight Virgil” Virgil waved his hand and said the same before watching Logan entering his bedroom and closing the door.

Making his way along the rest of the corridor he slowly came to a halt outside Patton’s room, Logan’s words kept replaying in his head.

Happiness? Patton did make him happy, more so than he’s felt in a long time…he couldn’t sleep in that room, not on his own…

Would Patton mind? He hated sleeping on his own now due to restlessness and…. other things, what If he got angry for waking him? What if he said no? inhaling deeply he slowly raised his fist to Patton’s door but before he could knock, the door swung open slowly and quietly.

Virgil stood there for a moment eyes wide, his knuckle still hanging in the air to find Patton standing in the doorway smiling softly donning a very messy bed head, noticing Virgil’s scared expression “sorry! I woke up a while ago and heard footsteps, is everything ok virge?” Patton looked a little nervous and was…was he blushing? Virgil cursed the low lighting of the room for not letting him see properly, he bit his lip and rubbed his neck sheepishly.

“would- would it be alright if I stayed with you tonight?” he stammered, and Patton’s eyes changed from concern to warmth “of course kiddo!” He gently pulled Virgil in the room enveloping him in a protective hug, he smelled of freshly baked cookies and it felt so safe in Patton’s arms that the anxious side never wanted to leave them.

This felt so…nice he thought to himself and just feeling the warmth and affection of the other side helped ease his negative thoughts.

[a-jynx]

Black Eyes, Pretty Lies - Part 4: Cats Out Of The Bag

Summary: Team Free Will find themselves lodged between a rock and a hard place when a possible case turns out to be more than they bargained for - especially when one specific member falls for the guilty…

Pairing: Sam x demon!reader/murder!reader

Characters: Y/N (reader), Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Crowley,

Warnings: Cursing, baaaad mojo, demons, angry Winchesters, angst 

Notes: This idea sort of just hit me in the face because I saw a prompt and since I’m taking still mapping out chapter nine of Trouble In All The Right Places, I figured might as well write some drabbles!

Small things: Y/N - Your Name, e/c - eye color. Italicized means dream/memory, Italicized and bold just means inner thoughts. 

Previous Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, 

Short Story Tags: @coolershiit @emmaveale123 @confransivan  @cookie-dough-lova @spn-imagines-fics @curly-haired-disaster  @nicorobinechelonwinchester @justhere1112 @painwillmakemestronger @itsjustmeiguessallrightthen @ihatemydaddy  @19agbrown  @kylorenlover15 @waywardnewcomer @sikesociety

^^ If you wish to be untagged, just tell me, please and thanks! (I’m just going off the people who liked the posts)

Enjoy! Feedback is appreciated!

Another night full of screams, another night full of blood, another night full of heat from fires, another night full of the deafening growls of hellhounds… But, it was all just another night full of work for me.

After spending a bit more time with the boys, and get to understand where they are in understanding the case, I left after Dean went out for beer and Sam stayed back – which I didn’t mind… For a little bit.

               “Sam, really, it’s fine. You should go out, meet someone at the bar and go have a nice night out. I need to head out anyway,” I sighed as I shifted my weight away from his shoulder, thus causing him to snap his head away from the Netflix show playing on the laptop.

“Oh, come on, Y/N! Stay a little longer, please? Dean’s going to end up bringing some broad here, and I really don’t want to end up having to stay out in Baby.” He pouted as his eyes slowly became bigger, shimmering with slight tears as I huffed out a laugh.

               “Is THE Sam Winchester, really using puppy-dog eyes on me?” I couldn’t hold back a small laugh as he nodded, still holding the pout as he moved closer. His shoulder pressing against mine as I turned my head, trying to bite back the smile.

“Come ooooon, you know you want to stay, Y/N.” Sam grinned as he pushed more, making me topple onto my side as he laid on top of me. I puffed out a laugh as I slowly turned to face him, my legs trapped beneath his as his hands stayed on the sides of my head.

               “Mm, well… You’ve twisted my arm, Samuel,” I grinned as he looked down at me, a boyish smile on his lips as his bangs slowly fell from his head as I licked my lips slowly, as I felt his hot breath fan over my face. He leaned in closer, as I tried to meet him halfway… Suddenly, a loud ring came from beside us.

               I shot up from the soft duvet of the motel bed, looking around the dark room as I huffed out a sigh with a groan as I fell back against the soft pillow and rubbing my hands over my face. The ringing continuing as I rolled over, grabbing my phone and answering, “this better be important.”

“Morning to you too, sweetheart.” Dean laughed as I rolled my eyes, pushing myself up from the bed as I looked over to see another body there. Leaning over, I got a glance at his face and nodded, somewhat impressed but… He wasn’t Sam handsome, so damn.

               “What do you want, Dean-o?” I sighed as I quietly, yet quickly pushed myself up and away from the bed, grabbing my scattered clothing. Grinning to myself as I reached down, pulling out the mans’ wallet before grabbing the small wad of cash as I exited the small bedroom.

“Sam and I got another lead, another murder happened last night and we’re hoping to meet up at the crime scene.” Dean sighed as I listened carefully to the background hearing the small whines of Sam, as Dean hissed a ‘shut up!’

               “Yeah, over-and-out. I’ll head there once I figure out where I am,”

“Wait, did you get lucky last night?” I could practically hear the smirk in Deans’ voice as I rolled my eyes, attempting to pull my shirt over my head and my pants up on my legs.

               “Maybe – but between you and me, your brother would’ve been better,” I smirked as I listened to Dean gag before scoffing.

“And that’s where that conversation ends. See you in a bit.” He hung up as I sighed, placing my phone into my jeans once I finished pulling them up, before shrugging on my jacket and looking around. Nice place… Big kitchen, living room big enough for a party of people – damn, too bad my heart is taken.

               As I went to open the front door, I heard someone clear their throat from the small hallway as I looked up to see the guy from earlier standing there in his bath rob as it hung loosely around him. I pursed my lips slightly as I replaced it with a smile, and turned to meet him.

“And where are you going, sweetie?” The man smirked as he basically struts down the hallway, I held back a laugh and a grimace as he stood in front of me. His morning breath mixing with the liquor from last night – nope, definitely not a good smell.

               “I’m heading to work..” I sighed hiding my happiness that I was getting to leave as the man instantly frowned, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

“I thought you said you were out of work?” He squinted as I sent him a lopsided grin before shrugging my shoulders, reaching out and grabbing onto his left shoulder before pressing my thumb against the pressure point.

               “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t – I’d honestly rather forget last night, anyway.” I smiled as he dropped to his knees, grimacing at the pain as I snapped my fingers; his body falling sideways unconscious. I sighed, standing back up as I looked around before spotting a nice leather jacket hanging on the kitchens’ counter.

“Hello, gorgeous…” I grinned as I walked over, hooking it with two fingers and draping it over my shoulder as I stepped over his sleeping body and out the front door. Slamming it close as I inhaled the morning air, spotting my car easily.

               “On the road again…”

Pulling up to the small home that was now buried underneath its own black smoldering bits, I couldn’t help but to grin at the work I had done… So beautifully, so well-done – and the best part? No one knows it was little ole me.

               Climbing out of my car, I spotted Sam standing by the yellow tape as I grinned pulling the new, large leather jacket closer as I slammed the door shut behind me and quickly made my way over to the area.

“Samuel – long time, no see.” I grinned as he huffed a laugh, pulling up the tape as I walked under, him following close behind.

               “It’s just Sam, but for right now, just call me Agent.” He smirked as I bit my bottom lip as one of the officers went to stop us, upon seeing me. I quickly pulled a wallet-like badge from my back pocket as he stopped, nodding as he waved for us to go.

“Wait, when did you get an FBI badge?” He huffed a laugh as I smirked and flipped it closed, shoving it back into my back pocket as I turned around once we entered the half-standing, half-fallen home. I paused, placing one of my hands on Sam’s large bicep while sucking on my bottom lip.

               “Oh, Sam… I’m a hunter, remember?”

I quickly pulled away and turned as I wander a little further into the home. Hearing Dean talking, I went towards his voice only to stop once I heard who he was exactly talking too…

“Hello, darling… Long time, no see.”

               My eyes grew wide as my lips fell open, all of my movements coming to a halt as I felt Sam appear behind me just as Crowley took a step forward. Dean slowly moved from the other side of the room, joining Sam off to the side as I felt my body slowly begin to hum with anger.

“Wait, you two know each other?” Dean’s voice asked from off to the side, as Crowley merely smirked while stuffing his hands into this coats’ pockets as I tried to fight off the growing anger… The growing power, hell, the growing pain as I looked at him. 

               “Oh, of course, squirrel! I’ve met Ms. Y/N a long time ago… We’ve even got some personal business wagers going on.” Crowley laughed as small, ragged breaths passed my parted lips as I clenched my hands into fists at my sides.

“Bite me, Crowley.” I hissed as Sam and Dean snapped their heads towards me, as my voice sounded deeper as Crowley looked at me, smirking as he raised one hand snapped his fingers.

“Oh, I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole, dear.” He growled as the world around us shifted as we appeared back in Sam and Dean’s motel room, them stumbling onto the beds as angered, or demonic-like growls even screams leave my lips.

“Crowley, what the hell did you do!?” Sam shouted as he went to walk towards the king, as I stumbled back falling onto my knees as I gripped at my head, trying to handle my breathing as anger washed over me in tidal waves.

               “I didn’t do anything, Moose… Maybe you should ask your little pet there more about her history.” Crowley spat and with that, he disappeared. The anger slowly melting away as my chest heaved, my limbs and unstable body parts shaking as Sam and Dean’s voices sounded like they were underwater.

“Y/N/, Y/N are you-“ Dean’s concerned filled voice stopped as I slowly looked up at them, thinking I was safe… Thinking that it all subsided and left away from my body, but oh, hell was I wrong…

               “You’re… You’re a black-eyed bitch..” Dean hissed as I felt my bottom lip tremble. Swallowing thickly, I kept my hands at my sides as I looked at the two brothers; both wearing two different expressions.

               Dean’s being pissed, maybe even a little hurt. But Sam’s… Sam’s made my usually empty, cold heartbreak. His eyes watering while a small frown made his bottom lip tremble, while his shoulders gently slumped while Dean moved in front of him – and the next thing I know, Sam’s yelling for Dean to stop, and I become overtaken by darkness…

Well… I guess the cats out of the bag.