#in this house we run on vibes and vibes alone

[legacysam]

been doing some writing in a vague attempt at nanowrimo, and it's been really nice to feel like...oh yeah I'm good at this. it's been so long I kind of felt like I'd have lost the magic or something but actually I might be better at it than I used to be bc I'm just. fully onboard the self-indulgent train now. I'm writing all the lovely emotional bits and intimate conversations and fuck if I know what goes in between them (the plot I guess?) but it's so nice.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

One of the biggest reasons I try to recruit all the characters in Three Houses isn’t just because I don’t want to kill them, but because if I do, I still have to go back to the monastery afterward. I still have to pass by their dorm rooms full of their belongings and know that’s where they spent their alone time and where they slept. I still have to pass by the spots they frequented the most. It’s not just the sad dialogue of characters reacting to the deaths, but passing by the spots I vividly remembered them hanging out at.

I realized this most in my first playthrough when I didn’t have the chance to recruit everyone and I accidently killed Raphael at Gronder. I didn’t have the enemy attack range turned on so I didn’t realize he was in range of attacking.

During an exploration, I was looking for Ignatz who was, unfortunately, in his dorm room... and I walked into the wrong room and into Raphael’s after he was killed and man that fuckin’ sucked! Feels bad but like, multiplied with big numbers, u kno??? ???

YES, IT’S A VIDEO GAME. YES, I HAVE HUMAN BEING FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:

She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.

She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.

Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.

She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.

She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.

She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.

We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)

She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)

She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.

She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.

anyway shout out to my mom for being neat

Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

[luludeluluramblings]

Smalltown!Neglected!Meta!Reader x Yandere!Batfam ☁️ Part One

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️ Part Four ☁️ Part Five ☁️ Part Six ☁️ Part Seven ☁️ Part Eight

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I’ve been hyper fixated on Batfam and DC in general for the past two months, and this is what my brain has been cooking. This is based on an fem!OC I made, but I converted it to GN!Reader. Or attempted to. Might write an official one with the oc. I don’t know. I’m new at this stuff and doing this on mobile to boot.

Warning(s): Yandere themes, Obsessive behavior

Reader grows up happy, healthy, a safe away from Gotham

Momma and Daddy (step-father) adore their darling reader

Daddy is kind and understanding; gives good advice, encourages reader, comforts reader after nasty break ups

Momma is sassy and a bit possessive of her baby reader

Momma never tells reader anything about their biological father (He was a big city playboy that missed the court date for custody is all she said)

Reader has a much younger half-brother from Momma and Daddy, who reader also adores

Little Brother’s are annoying, but you have so many interest in common

Suddenly Momma and Daddy are dead; (tragic accident or murdered)

Reader’s Bio Father, Bruce Wayne is called and flies into town via Private Jet and whisk you off to Gotham

Bruce can’t get custody over half-brother due to Reader’s step-grandparents fighting him.

(They tried to keep Reader too, but blood is thicker than water in the eyes of the court. And, Bruce has enough money to make that water run dry)

Bruce isn’t exactly like Momma described, he’s distant and a bit cold with reader. (Like he doesn’t know what to do.)

Bruce gets upset when Reader talks about missing Momma and Daddy, especially when Reader talks about Daddy.

Bruce doesn’t introduce Reader to the family right away.

Reader doesn’t see anyone, but Bruce and Alfred for the first week at the manor.

Bruce avoids reader, but gets upset when Reader ignores him

Reader starts researching their new family. Everything they can find in the media, even the company.

(Family Buisness funds the Justice League? Gotham gains a new Vigilante almost every time Bruce gains a new kid? Jason Todd’s death and reappearance. Suspicious…)

Reader finally meets the others.

First up Cassandra.

Quite, but watches reader like she knows all of reader’s secrets. (That’s terrifying.)

Reader’s instincts scream that she’s dangerous (Reader trusts those instincts.)

Reader is still nice, they get along. Cass rather be alone, but it’s cool. They’re cool.

Second up is Duke.

Duke is great. Official bro. Passes all the vibe checks. (Most normal one in this house.)

Reader’s meta abilities go haywire around him, so Reader needs to be careful. (Reader’s not sharing that secret yet. Not till they share what Reader suspects is their secret)

Third, Dick and Barbara.

Dick is a whirlwind, coddling and pitying, treating reader like a sweet helpless child then leaving. (He’s a busy popular man)

Barbara is polite, but a stranger.

Reader tries to be friendly, but can’t get past the stranger stage.

Fourth Stephanie.

Stephanie politely ignores reader, but reader genuinely wants to hang out. (Similar interest, close in age. Please, can we be friends? ……….)

Reader says they’ll keep trying (It happens… eventually….)

Fifth, Tim.

Tim just brushes Reader off with a blank look and disappears.

Reader can never find Tim. (Always in the cave, at work, on patrol. He’s a busy busy busy sleepy man that avoids even the mention of Reader)

(Stephanie hangs out with Tim though, but they still ignore reader. It’s fine. Reader is fine. It doesn’t hurt.)

Sixth is Jason.

Jason is mean.

Calls reader spoiled, says reader a an ignorant privileged princess, Daddy’s pet, a brat, etc.

But, then leaves when reader starts to snap back.

(He looks like he’s struggling not to strangle reader almost every time reader sees him.)

Seventh is the youngest and reader’s half brother.

Reader is excited to meet him, reader already has a younger half-brother. Having two sounds even better!

Damian is cruel

It breaks reader’s heart.

Damian either ignores reader, or mocks reader viscously. He’ll push and shove and throw things at reader. (Won’t draw a weaponed though, he’s past that.)

He brushes off all of Reader’s attempts at sibling bonding.

All this goes on for a few months.

Reader tries so hard to get close to everyone, but they’re either avoid them, ignore them, are cruel, or they just don’t have the time.

Reader’s life in Gotham is… different.

Reader’s a commodity, and, surprisingly enough, most people like Reader

School Friendships form, which reader worries are because they’re a Wayne child

(Which is true, but not in the way Reader thinks; hint: it involves other types of night avians)

Teacher’s appreciate a humble Wayne (Damian goes to the same school, Reader is a relief to teach)

Reader is quite talented, not a prodigy, not extraordinary. Just extremely approachable.

But, like all good things there is a downside.

Reader wants to spend time with their new friends.

They’re invited to Galas, lunches, brunches, vacations, shopping, etc.

And Reader WANTS to go

But, Bruce won’t let them

It’s not safe

(Which Reader understands, that’s why they never really explore Gotham, but still brunch couldn’t hurt, right?)

So Reader has no one to lean on or connect with. It’s isolating.

Instead Reader spends hours talking on the phone to their old friends and family back in their small town.

There’s a silver lining though: Things are going to get better before they get worse

So much worse

[mywritersmind]

Fewtrell reader is staying over at Maxs and hes out and Lando comes over and asks “is he home?” and she offers to let him in and wait and the tension is HIGHHH (hes her childhood crush) and you can be creative from here. 🫣

FUCK WITH MY HEAD - LN4

listen up : banter banter banter!! mentions of sex. ty for the request this like vibe is always in my mind (flirty bantery brothers best friend)

word count : 1061

⋆｡‧˚⋆

I’m not even dressed yet, but the consistent knowing and ringing of the doorbell is driving me mad, “Whoever you are, you better have a good reason!” I yell at the unknown person as I yank open the door, only a towel wrapped around me. “Of course it’s you.”

“Wow, not even a hello? And I thought we were friends.” Lando Norris stands in front of me, holding his chest like I've hurt his heart. His eyes check out my towel situation before asking, “Your brother home?”

I practically groan in his face, walking away from the door, “You couldn’t have texted him!? He’s gone for another hour.” I say as I slam the door of the guest bedroom closed so I can change in peace.

I hear the front door shut, “Someone’s in a good mood today.” I mock him only for myself to see as I pull on white shorts and an oversized t-shirt.

I walk back out, breathing deeply and reminding myself that he can’t get to me if I don’t let him, “You’re sort of ruining my only time alone this week.” I’m visiting my brother and as much as I love the guy, he’s fucking obnoxious to live with.

“Had to listen to P and Max go at it, huh?” He leans over the counter, taking a crisp from my bowl.

I make a disgusted face at him, “You’re disgusting and you know for a fact I would be gone if that happened.”

“Wish I was spared from their sex life.” I roll my eyes and pour myself some water, “So… How’s your trip been?”

Small talk? Seriously weird coming from Lando.

“Why are you here anyways?” I don’t answer his question, he stands and joins me at my side, “You know that phone you have? It actually can message someone so you don’t randomly show up to their house!” I smile and blink at him.

He takes another crisp, “But then I wouldn’t be getting this lovely time with you.” I shake my head as I sip my water, pretending not to notice Lando’s eyes roam my body.

It’s a weird feeling to look back at your childhood crush in general; but when your childhood crush is your best friend's brother, famous, rich, and ridiculously attractive, it’s even worse.

Lando Norris was the object of my desire at thirteen and clearly I was onto something. He's dressed in a black shirt and jeans, sporting sneakers and a singular ring on his middle finger.

Still, like every historically accurate childhood crush, Lando never showed any interest. Until we hit our 20s and Lando learned how to flirt.

I don’t see him often, we would run into each other during breaks or holidays. I watch quadrant videos while I do my makeup or races while I pick out an outfit, but Lando hasn’t been this close to me in a while.

The last time we were like this was the beginning of last year. Like I said, we see each other for some holidays. I happened to be invited to his and Max’s new year’s party.

I also happened to be Lando’s new year's kiss. Maybe a bit more, but a lady never tells.

I fake sweetness, twirling my hair, “I’m honored! Lando Norris likes,” My voice goes dry and I walk away from him, “ruining my me time!”

I hear him chuckle as I sit on the couch with my food and phone, “You get sassier everytime I see you.”

I bite into my food, “As I should.”

“And hotter.” I’m paused with my food halfway in my mouth. What the fuck.

I take a breath, not daring to look back, “You shouldn’t say shit like that.”

“Why? I know you like it.” how is his voice attractive?

I turn around, he’s got a shit eating grin on his face, leaning back against the counter. “Max.” I say simply.

“Last time I checked,” He pushes off the counter, walking to the couch and looking down at me, “Max isn’t here.”

“You’re getting far too optimistic.” I look up at him, “Fame going to your head?”

“No I think it’s just you…” His gaze stays fixed on me, “In my head, I mean.” He does this shit too often. Gets in my head while boosting his confidence. I blush and he smirks, it’s a sick cycle that I can’t help but love.

His eyes are glued to mine, I narrow them, trying to figure out his aim here.

“Get in line.” I roll my eyes and turn back to my food and open my phone. I see him bite back a smile, jumping over the couch and laying face up.

He tilts his head back at me while I text my friend, “So… Uni. How many boyfriends have you got?”

I don’t look at him, “I’m currently dating my textbooks. Who has the time?”

“Alright, how many fuck buddies you got?” I eye him, all cute and upside down.

I put my phone down, “You really wanna know the truth?”

“Are my feelings gonna get hurt?”

I look away and he sits up, looking at me in that way I hate so much. It’s not even been twenty minutes and he’s already fucking with my head.

He scoots closer to me and I push my hand over his face to get him away, “You’re ridiculous. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

He doesn’t look away, he never seems to have an issue with eye contact when it comes to me, “What am I doing?” His tone is egging me on, “Go on. Tell me.”

I shake my head, “You’ve got that look in your eye… Like how you looked at me during new years.” The corner of his mouth lifts at the memory.

“Is that a bad thing?”

I sigh, what am I supposed to do? We never talked about it. Max could never know. And as attracted to him as I am, It will never happen again.

I tilt my head a bit, “What are you gonna Lando? Fuck me on my brothers couch?” I catch the slight blush on his cheeks, how his eyes flicker down.

Then he looks back up at me, but not meeting my eyes, his smile grows, “Seems like a pretty appealing offer right now.”

I groan and stand up, “I’m resuming my me time, try not to break anything.”

“You’re not slick, darling! Think of me when you touch yourself.” He blows me a kiss, I reply with my middle finger.

[thoughtfulfiction]

Shift in the Routine

Author’s Note: Vibes are up from episode one of Hard Knocks starring Batman but I really wanted to write something angsty.

Part II

The morning started off with an entire 16 oz cup full of coffee spilling all over the kitchen floor. The brown puddle continued to spread and you watched in horror as the caramel frappuccino you’d just spent the last 20 minutes carefully curating to perfection went to waste. Then, your apartment key got stuck in the door, snapping in half so you had to make a call to your lovely landlord who charged you $150 to replace the key, and get the maintenance guy to come in and get your old key out. There went the money that you wanted to use to splurge on lunch.

Just when you thought you’d turned a corner for the better when you got off work early, your best friend Rachel called in a panic, putting an immediate end to the relaxing afternoon you had planned.

“Hi babe! I need you to do me a huge favor.”

You sighed, mentally saying goodbye to the Netflix binge on the couch with a fluffy blanket you were desperately looking forward to. “What’s up?“

She chuckles softly, breathing out a sound of relief that you were willing to help. “You know you’re my favorite person in the world, right?”

“What do you need Rach?” You bite out, your patience mostly nonexistent after such an awful day. Even her best attempt at buttering you up wouldn’t fix it.

“Okay, okay jeez. Who pissed in your cereal this morning? Anyways, I need you to run to my office and grab my other laptop. The one I have with me died and the tablet just isn’t cutting it right now,” you can hear her whispering to someone while you wait on the other end of the line for further instructions, “texting you the address as we speak.”

Your destination was 48 minutes away from her office, much closer to your job. Rachel owed you. Big time. “Fine. Be there in an hour.” You hung up a little in the midst of hearing her say “thank you” for the sixth time.

Rachel was an interior designer, working on some top secret project with a client for the last year, whose identity she refused to reveal, that was until today when she clearly had no choice. She’d apparently asked the client if it was ok for you to come to the house and they were clearly cool with it because the gate opened and the mansion you were faced with was unlike anything you’d ever seen. Every part of you wished you’d worn nicer clothes to work today.

Before you could even knock, your friend opened the door and ushered you in, plugging the laptop into one of the kitchen outlets and pulling up whatever she needed, thanking you again for saving her ass.

You looked around the room, exquisite marble covered the countertops, super cozy looking white swivel chairs and every square inch of the place just screamed luxury. “Who the hell lives here alone? Head of the mafia?”

Rachel snorts out a laugh, typing away without looking up at you.

“Not exactly,” a male voice is heard behind you, scaring you a little. And that makes Rachel laugh even more. “I assume you’re Rachel’s friend y/n.”

No fucking way.

You glance at Rachel before turning around to face him, nodding your head. “I’m so sorry your highness, you’re more…King of the Jungle, right? The mafia is more of a Bills thing.” All the secrecy made sense now and you turn towards her, your eyes full of disbelief.

“You signed an NDA didn’t you? Because I know you’re the world’s worst secret keeper and you’ve worked for the Bengals starting quarterback for a year and I haven’t heard a peep. Wait,” you look at him again, “does this mean I have to sign one?”

“Would you like to?” Joe deadpans, a hint of amusement pokes out behind his rigid exterior. He looks even better in person, you think to yourself.

“I have always wanted to sign one but I’ve never really been in the position to do that. But now…”

“Now you’re being ridiculous,” Rachel cuts in, “he’s not gonna make you sign anything, you don’t even know the gate code.”

Waving her off for ruining your fun, you grab your keys and get ready to head home when Joe’s voice stops you in your tracks for the second time in the last 20 minutes.

“You don’t want water or anything before you go? I have an entire fridge just for Voss water. The glass bottles.” His voice is so relaxed, a calming energy surrounds him and he delivers his words with such a casual tone like it’s not one of the most absurd things you’ve ever heard.

“Are you being serious?”

“No! I’m kidding,” he laughs, a genuine hearty sound that you hope to never forget. You need to leave this fortress as soon as humanly possible before you find yourself attracted to the way the man breathes.

Rachel has long forgotten the two of you are in the room, completely in the zone while deciding between white oak and alder so the gorgeous man walks you out. Has he always been this tall? “Rich and funny. It’s very nice to meet you Joe.”

He’s about to let you leave, but he doesn’t want to regret not going for it. “Would you—maybe want to um, see each other again? When you’re having less of a bad day? I promise there will be no coffee involved, just a little dinner?” This is a stark difference from his earlier nonchalance, you can tell he’s trying to keep the nerves at bay.

“You heard all of that?” You look at him wide-eyed. Of course Joe freaking Burrow heard you complaining about spilling coffee everywhere and damaging your keys, not your finest moments. And somehow, none of that deterred him from asking you out. “I’d love to. Rachel can give you my number and I’ll see you soon?”

“Yes, definitely.”

Dinner turned into dinner and a movie which turned into several nights of ordering in. That became FaceTime dates when he would travel across the country, helping him pick out clothes to wear for his foundation’s golf tournament or getting up at ungodly hours to answer his calls during Paris Fashion Week. Then he came home to lock in for the season but not before giving you a jump scare by randomly buzzing and bleaching his hair. Everything you thought you knew about him from the media or via word of mouth living the city, was nothing compared to actually getting to be with him. He was funny and kind and the most caring person in the world and you really owed Rachel your entire life for asking you to drop off that laptop.

Admittedly, you were nervous going into the season. You’d seen him go down last year in Baltimore, watching on tv like every other fan feeling helpless as his season ended. Now you’d seen first hand how much work had gone into not only getting him back to what he was before but transforming him into a better version of what he once was. And routine was everything. Workouts and meals were scheduled down to meticulous detail, meetings with his nutritionist and strength trainer happened frequently and the closer you got to week 1 the more dialed into the process he was. You just tried your best to navigate the controlled chaos.

Friday evening before you drove home after work, you made a pit-stop at Joe’s to drop something off. Having already decided that you were staying at your place for the rest of the weekend as to not be distraction, you placed your surprise in the fridge feeling proud of yourself before closing the door, meeting your boyfriend face to face.

“Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me!” You playfully smacked his chest as he grabs onto your hands, enveloping you in a warm embrace. “I didn’t think I’d see you. Thought you’d be up to your eyebrows in New England film right now.”

“Took a break to grab a snack,” he sidesteps you to get to the fridge, taking a look inside before he spots the item you just placed in there. “What are these?”

You nod toward the tupperware in his hand, “open it.”

Joe carefully takes off the lid, looking at the contents inside like a kid on christmas morning, recognizing the look of his favorite dessert, with a twist.

“They’re protein pumpkin pie cups. The bottom is peanut butter.”

“Two of my favorite things. Well, three now, including you. Thank you.” You want to pretend to have a toothache at how sweet he’s being but instead you stand on your toes, inching your way up to kiss him on the lips and when you pull away to stand at your normal height he sneaks another kiss, pressing one onto the side of your head. It’s getting late and you really don’t want to leave, but you can’t mess up his routine. The next time you see him is after the loss, he’s understandably disappointed but also a little relieved to shake some of the rust off and come back more relaxed the next game.

Slowly but surely the losses piled up and they added more weight to his often slumped shoulders. You tried to lighten the load by being a constant presence, reminding him of how well he was playing, but the once comfortable, homey atmosphere that Joe created for you became tense. Long conversations about how the team could be better turned into shrugs, “I don’t knows” and exhausted sighs.

And now? The team was 4-8.

You’d been staying at Joe’s since the bye week ended just to make sure he wasn’t isolating himself and completely consumed by football. When he came home after the Steelers game you could instantly tell it was going to be a long night. As soon as he set foot in the door he dropped his bag off and headed up to his office without giving you so much as a glance.

Dinner was cold by the time he emerged again two hours later. You didn’t want to say the wrong thing. And you also didn’t want to just sit there and say nothing. The elephant in the room was doubling in size by the minute. “Joe, you—”

“If you’re about to say I played well you can just…not. I fumbled the ball twice and threw a pick. Three turnovers isn’t exactly a recipe for success.”

You closed your eyes, trying to come up with something that would get him to see things the way you did. “I know that, but you still fought your way back and you guys were so close to completing the comeback.”

His adam’s apple bobs uncomfortably slow as he swallows some of his frustration. None of this was your fault and he knew that. He just, really didn’t want to talk about it anymore today. He’d discussed it with the team, with coaches, the media. The game had ended long ago and he was still having to explain himself. Glancing at the clock, he let you know he was heading to bed and he was just…gone. No hug, no kiss on the cheek or anything. Which usually wouldn’t have bothered you but then you found him fast asleep with his back facing you. You climbed in behind him, treating him like the little spoon as you wrapped your arms around him but he easily removed himself from your grasp, covering himself with the blanket, mumbling something about not feeling like cuddling tonight. You had this overwhelming urge to cry so you turned away from him, squeezing your eyes shut, begging sleep to overtake you.

Waking up the next morning, you decide to shake off whatever that was last night. You texted Joe’s chef and asked him what was on the menu for tonight, thinking that a good meal and some lighthearted conversation was just the thing he needed. The work day was long and frustrating, some random sponsors came in to do some long winded presentation about the new health guidelines which was about as entertaining as watch Geno Stone miss tackles. One thing was motivating you to get through it and that was Morgan, Joe’s chef texting you that he would have everything ready when you got home and all you had to do was put your finishing touches on the evening.

All of the food was prepped, the table was set, candles lit and all you needed was Joe. You wait 45 minutes for him to walk in the door, looking surprised. “What is all this?”

“Nothing special, I just figured we could eat together before watching Monday Night Football in bed.”

The look on his face isn’t promising. “I already ate at the facility,” Joe says regretfully. He’s met with silence and it’s uncomfortable, worrying. “How was work?”

“I texted you,” your voice hardens, “twice. No response.”

“Wasn’t near my phone all day. We had a team meeting, guys said things that were on their minds and we had an open and honest conversation. I’m sorry I didn’t see it.”

You close your eyes, really trying not to cry about something so small. “Right, ok. How did your meeting go?”

“It was fine,” he shrugs, not divulging any other details and it irks you even more. Joe catches you massaging your temples, a clear sign that you’re stressed. “You alright?”

“I’m fine,” you echo his words, hoping he gets the hint, “had a long day.”

The quarterback places his hands on your shoulders, hoping to ease the tension in your posture. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“That’s rich,” you mumble.

“Hm?”

You grab his hands and pry them off of you. “I said that’s rich. You know, coming from you.”

He looks irritated but keeps his voice even, “what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you want me to open up and talk about my feelings when you’ve been an emotional brick wall the last couple weeks! I can barely get two words out of you. Joe, I’m trying babe. I respect your time and your space, I never stay the night on Saturdays or ask you do anything past 8pm and you still shut me out. Why is that?”

“You don’t think that doing all of this is a little much right now? Everyone wants something from me all the time. I just need a second to think, on my own. And I get it, you’re trying to help but you’re always here, pestering me about little things. I really don’t need you breathing down my neck and smothering me this week.”

You stare at him for a while, processing every word he just said.

You’re pestering him.

You’re smothering him.

Breathing down his neck.

That’s why he didn’t want you to hold him last night. He thinks you’re too needy, too clingy.

You’d done the one thing you’d been telling yourself you wouldn’t do. You had disturbed his peace, messed up his flow. In trying to be helpful and proactive, you had actually gotten more in the way. And he didn’t want you here right now. He’d just made that painfully clear.

“No you’re right,” you tell him, in your most normal tone, “I’ll stop with the questions. You probably have stuff to do so I’m gonna clean this stuff up.”

Joe nods simply, heading upstairs to crack open the Dallas film. A few stray tears escape your eyes as soon as he’s gone. You gave yourself 10 minutes to have a little cry and then the leftovers were placed in the fridge, dishes put away, candles blown out and everything back in its rightful place. Then you headed upstairs to Joe’s room to pack your stuff. He clearly needed space from you and you weren’t going to stay anywhere you weren’t wanted. Carefully placing all of your bags in the car, you took a shuddering breath before putting the keys in the ignition.

He woke up out of his sleep around 4am looking for you, feeling the cold space where your body was supposed to be. Chalking it up to you maybe having slept in one of the guest rooms after the tense conversation from earlier, he turned over and went back to sleep. You knew you had a problem, tossing and turning aimlessly, growing accustomed to being next to him, literally proving his point. The honeymoon phase was over and you desperately needed to pull it together.

“You don’t need to freak out, every couple goes through a rough patch,” Rachel tries to reassure you, digging into her bowl of popcorn as you lay face first, mumbling into your pillow. “Babe I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

It feels like there’s a ton of bricks weighing you down after one disagreement. “Rach you didn’t hear what he said. And the way he looked at me. He hasn’t even called or texted or anything. And I’m not texting him, that would be smothering or pestering or everything else he said. God I just, I don’t know.”

She hated to see you struggling like this. “Just give yourself some time and you’ll eventually know the right thing to do. You two are annoyingly into each other and those genuine feelings don’t go away because of a stress filled heated moment.”

She was right, all you needed to do was give him space. You dove face first into your job, attending every meeting five minutes early and staying later to get ahead on the next day’s to-do list. Joe did eventually text late in the afternoon, asking if you were coming over for dinner but you told him you had a work thing.

By day three of you having “work stuff,” Joe was calling bullshit. All of your responses were either dry, a simple “yes” or “no” or you kept it short and sweet. And he didn’t like it. Even though he prided himself in being able to compartmentalize, at home it felt empty and void of color and joy without you. He’d pushed you away and embarrassingly said some things that he didn’t even really mean, he just lashed out of exasperation and now he hadn’t heard the sound of your voice in almost 80 hours.

He needed to fix this.

“Can open the door? We need to talk.” He sounded out, in between semi frantic knocks on your door.

Slowly cracking it open, you let him in. “What do we need to talk about?”

His hair is messy and still slightly wet, like he ran here immediately after a shower. Seemed like this couldn’t possibly wait another second. “I’m sorry. I said things I shouldn’t have. I was upset because you’re right. The other night,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “you called me out and I didn’t want to admit you had a point so I dug myself a hole. And I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

You wanted to melt into his arms and forgive him. You wished it was that easy. But his words just kept playing over and over in your mind. “I appreciate the apology.”

“So…you’ll come home with me?”

“Joe I am home. And you have—a strict sleeping schedule. It’s getting late, I’m sure you’re tired.”

He wonders quietly how long you’ve been like this, giving robotic, monotone responses like you’re just saying things that you think he wants to hear. “It is getting late, but I’ve gotten so used to you being next to me that I don’t sleep as well when you’re gone.”

“Really? Cause I thought I was smothering you. Or what was the other one? Oh right, breathing down your neck.”

“Babe, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well you still said it! And now I’m wondering if I’m too much for you or how you had to drive over here instead of going home and getting your rest trying my best to be what you need,” you pause, looking at him through watery eyes, “I don’t know if I’m cut out for this.”

He seems visibly shaken, hesitantly steps toward you, reaching out to hold your hand to make your not going to disappear into thin air and leave him on his own. “Wh—what you mean?”

“I just, I really think I’m the one that needs some space. To figure out where the hell I even fit into all this. If I still want to fit into all this. I’m not saying I want to breakup I just think—you’re in a really pivotal time in the season and I don’t want to get in the way.”

Joe gives your hand a squeeze, “you’re never in the way. Actually it’s the opposite, I just wasn’t appreciative enough of everything you’ve done for me this year. But if you want space then, take all the time you need.” He swallows the lump in his throat and presses his lips to your forehead, uttering out that he’ll be waiting until you’re ready.

You take a step away from him as his soft lips linger on your skin whispering, “Joe…can you please go?”

He nods, slowly closing the door behind him. You imagine him walking away, climbing into his Porsche and heading home alone. Maybe this is how it should be, him over there, you here.

Tonight almost hurts more than the last time, so much so that the tears won’t even come. You’re just…numb. But you need this space to see if this life is something you’re ready to commit to. Because the last thing you want to be is another thing on his schedule.

[amourane]

hate the way you smile

pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst, comedy, e2l + childhood enemies??

w/c: 4.7k

summary: from the second you met theodore nott you knew that your life would be torturous and that the boy would never leave you alone but maybe forever isn't so bad with theodore nott.

warnings: none just a lot of bickering

a/n: omg this one is a bit long but i finished it!

From the moment that you met Theodore Nott at the bright age of five you knew you would hate him forever. Maybe it was the way he would sneer at you with distaste or the way he would mock you for being a big crybaby whenever he took your toys. All you knew was that you simply loathed his presence.

Your families had been friends and they had initially thought that you and Theo would get along since you were both the same age. What they didn’t expect was the young boy to rip the heads of your dolls and proceed to mock you for crying your heart out. Yet even with all of your constant bickering your families still met up every holiday, bringing the demon child with them to torment your life.

Since that day your childhood was filled with cruel laughter and the mischievous eyes that would watch wherever you went.  At age seven, Theodore Nott found it appropriate to fill your bathtub with toads causing you to shriek out in terror when you opened the bathroom door, and him, to run away with glee at your horrified face. At age nine, he thought it would’ve been funny to surprise you by dumping a bucket load of pumpkin juice all over you and he cackled at your expected screams of anger. What he didn’t expect was for you to retaliate by smashing a tray of cauldron cakes into his face. 

Needless to say the war between you two started way back then and it had continued, the only difference being that now you both were more mature and civilised and there was no room for childish pranks.

“Suck my cock you mangled prat, I hope you trip and fall to your death you insignificant shit goblin!” 

At least so you thought.

You made a move and lunged for Theodore Nott’s throat as anger flared in your eyes. No one paid mind to the scene that was unfolding before them afterall it was a common occurrence for the last six years. 

“You enchanted my hair green!” You shrieked as you shook the brunette violently. “Are you out of your mind Nott? I thought we agreed we wouldn’t mess with each other’s appearances, what happened to that?” 

Theodore simply smirked and you felt your fury bubble inside you. He tilted his head to the right and acted as if he was actually pondering your question. If you could you would have been breathing flames as you felt yourself grow more livid as every second went by. 

“Hmm…I like your hair L/n, really suits the whole vibe you’re going for, don't you think bella?” Theo flashed you a wicked grin as he reached out to twirl a lock of your hair between his fingers. You slapped his hand away.

“And what vibe am I going for Nott? Please enlighten me since you apparently are the one making decisions for me.”

You should’ve just walked away. You really should’ve just cursed him out and gone to Madam Pomfrey for some sort of remedy instead of staying and entertaining whatever shit-faced idea he had come up with. The moment you saw the smug smirk that spread across his face and the dangerous twinkle in his eyes you knew he was going to spew some absolute bullshit. And you were right.

“Well obviously it’s a statement declaring that you’re mine, why else would you dye your hair to match my house?” The Slythering feigned disbelief, clutching his hands to his chest innocently. “But Salazar, I didn’t know you would be so bold about your feelings towards me bella.”

You felt heat rise and settle on your cheeks as you tried to come up with a colourful comeback to wipe the stupid smirk off his face but the words die in your throat. It was against your will but you could feel your face growing hotter as he continued to stare at you with that flirty glint in his eyes. Your brain spluttered to a stop and you scrambled desperately for something to say.

“Fuck you Nott.” You seethed before storming away with your hands balled into fists. You could hear the whispers of students and you could feel their stares as you stomped to the infirmary, determined to find some way to get your hair back to normal. 

Theodore Nott was the biggest pain in the arse you knew and he had never stopped being one. You still remembered when you had received your letter to Hogwarts and he had scoffed at the sight asking why Hogwarts would want a half-wit like you. Needless to say your parents weren’t surprised at the cries that erupted a second later from both you and him.

Throughout your years the two of you had become known for the obvious tension and pure hatred you harboured for each other though it did seem to lean on your side a bit more than it did to his. It had been the same for the first three years, bickering, pranks and whatnot. Then fourth year came and the scrawny boy you once knew had magically grown much taller and his face had lost a lot of the baby fat it once had. All at once Theodore Nott became one of the most sought after boys in Hogwarts and it only made you loathe him more. It made his ego triple in size and it made him much more flirty towards everyone but you seemed to be his number one target. All you wanted to do was to take your wand and puncture that bloated head of his.

Though his appearance changed he still was the boy you knew since you were a child and whenever he smiled you could see the same boyish grin he had way back when he was five. He had always been the same but now he just had a much more pretty face to disguise the fact he was a blithering idiot.

Theo watched as you stormed off, his smile never once leaving his face. He loved to mess with you purely to see the visceral anger that radiated off you every single time. The way you would try to stare him down but the action proved useless as he was much taller allowing him to simply look down smugly. It amused him to see how your reactions never changed. 

Ever since you were five you held the same expressions: whenever you were mildly irritated by him you would chew on your bottom lip, whenever you were pissed your eyes would double in size and you’d look like a fire-breathing dragon, and whenever he made you upset you would stare blankly without a word. He’d only ever made you truly upset once and when seeing your face he knew he would never do it again because even if the two of you bickered and fought he would never hurt you.

“Sometimes I think you’re secretly dating because you should see the way you’re daydreaming hopelessly while staring at L/n’s retreating figure Nott, you look like a bloody imbecile.” Draco slapped Theo’s back startling him out of his own thoughts. He scoffed after realising what his friend was implying.

“Oh Salazar’s balls I think I’m going to regurgitate my breakfast. You’ve gone insane if you even think for a second there’s a chance I fancy that creature.”

Laughter erupted from his friends and they continued to mock and tease him obviously not being mature enough to handle the situation with grace.

“I would rather shag the giant squid than date L/n and I’m sure the feeling is mutual.”

Mattheo hummed to himself and smirked. He placed his arm on Theo’s shoulder. “Well then can I ask her out? She’s real hot and I think she’d be interested.”

“L/n might be stupid Riddle but she wouldn’t ever go out with you or even give you the time of day. So don’t even think about doing it.” And with that he left and his friends exchanged knowing glances before bursting into another fit of laughter at their friend’s own obliviousness.

//

This was so not your day. 

Never in your life had you forgotten to hand in homework yet one silly slip up had cost you to spend your free afternoon in detention. It wasn’t your fault you had mixed up the dates on when the transfiguration homework was due. 

You begrudgingly opened the classroom doors, finding a seat to sit down for the next hour. At least you were able to catch up on some other classes while you were in detention otherwise you thought you would’ve gone mad. You looked around the classroom save for Professor McGonagall who had already greeted you when you walked in there was no one else there. 

It hadn’t even been a minute when the doors burst open to reveal a very tall and very smug Slytherin.

“Mr Nott, glad for you to join us, find a seat please.”

Theo's grin faltered as his eyes locked onto yours, a flicker of confusion dancing across his features before it was swiftly replaced by his trademark smirk. He made his way toward you, closing the distance until there were mere centimetres separating you from him.

“Now L/n, Nott, I have important business to tend to so I assume the both of you are mature enough to sit through this detention. I hope that I don’t hear about any incidents when I am gone.”

It was as if your nightmare had all of a sudden come to life as you watched McGonagall leave the classroom. You tried to protest but it fell upon deaf ears as the professor had already left the room, leaving you stuck with your nemesis.

You whipped your head to face the brunette, irritation flashing in your eyes. Why had he chosen to sit next to you when there were plenty of other seats available? The classroom was far from crowded, yet here he was, invading your personal space with his mere presence

“Why are you sitting next to me Nott?”

“Why can’t I? Do you happen to own every seat in this classroom?” He teased. “I didn’t think you did, so I’m going to sit where I want.”

You grumbled under your breath at his stubbornness, getting up to pack your things. “Fine, but then I’m moving.”

Before you could make your move, Theo reached out and grabbed your arm. “Hey slow down, I have a perfect seat right here.” Your irritation flared at his audacity, and you shot him a scathing glare as he gestured to his lap with a smug smirk. “Why don’t you-”

“Nott, if you seriously propose that I sit in your lap I will hex you to oblivion.”

“Okay!” Theo held his hands up in mock surrender, his expression feigning innocence as he cocked his head to the side, the smirk never once leaving his face. “Stay here, I won’t bother you, I swear.”

You eyed him cautiously, your scepticism evident. You weighed the options before you reluctantly sat back down. “Fine.”

A quiet hush befell the classroom and all that could be heard was the scratching of quills on parchment. That is until you were interrupted by a persistent poking sensation that disrupted your concentration, each jab of the quill more annoying than the last. You clenched your jaw as you tried to ignore Theo but you knew he wouldn’t stop until you gave him attention and there was no way you were giving him the satisfaction of reacting. So he continued to poke and poke and poke. 

His incessant poking finally pushed you over the edge, prompting a sharp hiss of irritation from your lips. "What?" You snapped, unable to contain your frustration any longer.

“What are you doing here?” 

If there was a competition for incompetence Theodore Nott would sure have won first place.

“Detention obviously.”

“Oh you know what I meant, why are you in detention? Did you do something stupid? Wait, you do that all the time I forgot.” You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to roll them right out of your skull. "Tell me, bella," He continued, his voice laced with faux innocence. "I don't bite."

“Forgot my homework.” You reluctantly mumbled under your breath, feeling all too claustrophobic at how close he was to you. “Not that big of a deal.”

“Oh but it is.”

“What does that even mean, Nott?” Your eyes narrowed. Theo’s face twisted into a playful smirk and he was so close that you could practically hear his heart beating.

He chuckled, undeterred by your hostility. "But it's not like you to forget your homework," He teased, leaning in closer. "There must be something distracting you. Perhaps... thoughts of me?"

As if on instinct your hands reached out to push the unbearable boy away from you and you immediately got up at his incredulous words. You saw the way laughter bubbled and slipped from his lips, mocking you which only added more fuel to the evergrowing fire.

"In your dreams, Nott," You retorted, your voice laced with venom as you rose from your seat, your movements quick and determined. "I would sooner volunteer for a Dementor's kiss than waste a single thought on you."

Theo’s smirk only widened and his eyes gleamed with mischief. "Oh, believe me, the feeling is mutual," He quipped, his voice dripping with amusement as he rested his chin on his palms, his gaze never wavering from yours.

You huffed out an angry breath before picking your stuff up and stalking to the opposite end of the classroom. Luckily, he didn’t follow and you were left in peace for the rest of the detention.

//

It had been a week and a half since your detention yet Theodore Nott hadn’t approached you once since. In fact, you hadn’t seen him around school a lot, not that you were paying attention of course. It was just weird. Usually his face would pop up in front of you multiple times a day yet he was nowhere to be found. You had even lingered around the Slytherin table at lunch to see if he would show up but he never did. 

There was this sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Even though you did despise Theo you had known him since he was a kid and he never was one to skip lessons much less disappear for over a week. Even his Slytherin friends didn’t know where he went.

That is until today. The moment you had walked into the dungeons ready for your Potions lesson you spotted him. There was a part of you that hoped you would see him today, after all he was your Potions partner. But there was something wrong. His face looked gaunt, pale, sapped of life and his eyes were merely blank as he sat unmoving. His usual demeanour was replaced with one of hollow emptiness.

“Where have you been Nott?” No response. You frowned as you looked at him, he seemed to not even hear you. “Nott? Have you suddenly become deaf?”

“It’s none of your business.” He snapped voice obviously laced with malice as the words cut through the air. The sharpness of his tone caught you off guard, a twinge of hurt gnawing at the edges of your consciousness despite the fact you both had said worse to each other.

You chose to ignore the fact that Theo was obviously in a sour mood and sat down beside him, unpacking your things. There was nothing special about the lesson, nothing that you needed to particularly pay attention to. Not that you did since you were too focused on trying to figure out what was wrong with your partner. Theo didn’t look okay, not in the slightest. He seemed exhausted and his sluggish movements proved you correct as he diced the various ingredients. 

You were in the middle of stirring the cauldron when Theo dropped a dandelion root in the mixture causing it to bubble and spit. The concoction spilled onto your hand and you shrieked at the sudden burning sensation that seemed to consume your hand in flames. The sensation is unbearable, a sharp, burning agony that seems to penetrate deep into your very bones. By now the whole class had stopped to look at you not fully registering what had happened. You turned to Theo, tears threatening to fall from your eyes at the pain but he stood there frozen, an expression you couldn’t decipher on his face.

“Theo-”

"Fucking hell, L/n." He spat, his voice dripping with disdain. "Would it kill you to not be such a clumsy moron? You could've hurt me as well. How can you even call yourself a witch?"

His words were sharp and spiteful. Through the many years of knowing Theodore Nott he had never blamed you for something he did. He might have been an incorrigible prick but he would still apologise if he had ever hurt you genuinely. But as you looked at him you couldn’t recognise the cold harsh look he gave you and you bit back your tears. You wouldn’t cry in front of him. 

Despite the fact your hand was in pain you felt something tighten around your chest and it made the air around you feel thick as if you couldn’t breathe. You stood up angrily, opening your mouth to snap back but your vision starts to fade, black spots invade your senses and that was the last thing you remember before you tumbled to the floor.

You woke up a few hours later as you felt the sun shine on your face. You blinked, disorientated, as you tried to get used to your surroundings. The familiar walls of the infirmary materialised and you felt some ease at knowing where you were. Confusion still gnawed at your mind as you struggled to piece together what had happened. How had you ended up in the infirmary? And why did everything feel so hazy, as if viewed through a foggy lens? 

Your gaze drifted to your hand, the source of the searing pain. And there, wrapped in a pristine white bandage, lay the answer to at least one of your questions. The memory flooded back in fragments, disjointed and incomplete.

Theo's careless mistake, the scalding mixture splattering across your skin, the sharp cry of pain that had torn through the air, all of it came rushing back with startling clarity.

“Miss L/n you’re awake!” Madam Pomfrey’s voice cut through your thoughts and you saw the woman make her way towards you hurriedly. “That was a terrible burn you had, lucky I had some burn-healing paste on me otherwise you would have had an ugly scar.”

You were still a bit dazed, trying to piece together how you even managed to make your way here. You distinctively remembered collapsing to the floor but that was where your memory stopped and it refused to give you any more.

“Sorry Madam Pomfrey but do you know how I got here? I really can’t seem to remember.”

“Oh dear.” The nurse frowned at your condition. “Mr Nott brought you here. He’s been here the whole afternoon. He's only just popped to dinner. I'm sure he’ll be back. Merlin, the boy did look worried.”

You resisted the urge to scoff at her words. Theodore Nott, worried. Not a chance. He probably only brought you here because Slughorn insisted, and he couldn't risk getting on the professor's bad side. No, you highly doubted he cared about what had happened to you.

The memory of his harsh words repeated in your head like an echo that refused to go away, a reminder of his indifference to your situation. And yet, despite your efforts to brush it off, a bitter laugh escaped your lips. Why were you even upset? After all, the two of you were experts at hurling mean insults at each other. It was practically a pastime. 

Rather you should have been mad at the fact he was the one who caused you to get this injury anyway. If it wasn’t for his stupid mistake you wouldn’t be in this predicament. Then again, you remembered his movements, how his usual nimble fingers were fumbling the ingredients, how he stared at the pages of his book as though they were in a foreign language. Something wasn’t right.

“You’re awake.”

The words startled you and you spotted the Slytherin boy approaching your bed as his face held the same blank expression as before. He sat down beside you and your eyes narrowed. You shuffled away, not wanting to be near him.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured quietly and the words caught you off guard. “These past few days just haven’t been the best and-”

“That’s your excuse?” You bristled at his pathetic apology, hoping that you had misheard what he had said. “You mess up our potion resulting in me getting hurt and then hurl insults my way trying to blame me for what happened. And you think simply saying ‘I’m sorry’ is enough? Using the excuse of having a few bad days as your way out?”

He stayed silent allowing you to continue.

“Theodore Nott, you always were an idiot.” You spat, the words tinged with disappointment. “But I never expected you to be such a heartless prick.”

As the final syllable fell from your lips, a heavy silence settled over the room, punctuated only by the shallow rise and fall of your breath. You held Theo’s gaze and as you studied him you noticed something you had failed to notice before. The dark circles that marred the skin beneath his eyes, the redness that rimmed their edges. The weariness that had been etched into his features. 

“I went home.” He finally said, breaking the silence with his words. “Father sent a letter saying it was urgent, that I needed to return home at once.”

You felt yourself deflate and your gaze softened. Theo and his father had never been on the best terms and ever since his mother died they drifted apart even more. Suddenly his attitude made sense and you felt the guilt seep into your senses.

“Turns out his urgent matter was that he found himself another potential wife. Some poor woman to endure his torture and he wanted to happily announce it to his son. He burnt all of my mother’s belongings and if I hadn’t stopped him he would’ve gotten rid of her grave as well.” Theo scoffed bitterly and you saw the way he was trying to stop the tears from falling. “That bastard calls himself my father but not once in his life has he ever cared about me.”

A heavy silence enveloped the both of you as you sat not uttering a word. You knew that he had always struggled with the strained relationship with his family. The death of his mother had resulted in Theo being distraught for weeks as he relived the nightmare whenever he closed his eyes. 

“I’m not going back there. I’m never setting foot in that house ever again.”

You placed your hand on his shoulder as you tried to offer some sort of comfort. His eyes locked with yours and you saw how his tears glistened as they fell silently. You felt ropes tighten around your heart and you squeezed his shoulder gently. It had been a long time since you saw Theodore Nott cry. It was a rare sight but that was what made it that much more painful.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” You whispered. “I honestly…I’m so sorry Theo. He really doesn’t deserve a son like you. You’re incredible, you know that? You might be irritating and loud and downright infuriating at times but he doesn’t deserve you because you’re amazing Theodore Nott. And, Merlin, if I’m saying that then it must mean a lot because we both know my word is golden.”

You offered him a small smile and your heart warms when you see one tug at his lips too. He looked away for a second and you saw his eyes land on your bandaged hand and he winced.

“I really am sorry for messing up our potion. I didn’t mean what I said, you’re a brilliant witch Y/n, you always have been. I was just being a prat, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s honestly nothing bad. My hand will probably already be back to normal, I heal quickly you know.” You paused as your smile faltered and you chose your next words carefully. “If…if you don’t want to return to your house, you can always go to someone else's.”

Theo chuckled as he shook his head. “No one is going to accept me into their house without turning me into my father.”

“I will.” 

Silence. Theo looked at you, confusion clear on his face but your gaze was strong and he could tell you had meant what you had said. You felt yourself flush at his stare and you realised your hand was still on his shoulder and you quickly removed it.

“Accept you into my house I mean. My parents love you and you know they haven’t been on good terms with your father ever since what happened. We would be more than willing to take you in.” You watched as his face contorted into expressions that you couldn’t formulate. “That is if you promise not to fill my bathtub with toads again.”

Laughter fell from his lips, cascading like a melody. He lifted his hands to wipe away his tears that had been streaking down his face. His eyes no longer held the blank emotionless look but rather a certain warmth that you had missed seeing. Your grin widened upon hearing the sound and you found yourself joining in.

“At least you look pretty-”

Your words were cut off abruptly as Theo leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a sudden and unexpected kiss. You froze, unable to comprehend what exactly was happening as disbelief rippled through your body. His hands found their way at the back of your neck and you feel his thumb caress your cheek tenderly. You were still in shock when he pulled away and the last few words of the sentence you were about to say tumbled out of your mouth.

“-when you cry…”

You blinked as your mind tried to grapple at what had just happened. Theodore Nott had just kissed you. Theodore Nott, the boy you had despised since you were five, had just kissed you. He kissed you. Kissed…you. Immediately, your body erupted into flames and you felt your face flush hot at how close the both of you were.

“Your body temperature has risen extremely quickly.” Theo teased and you felt yourself grow even hotter.

“Shut it.”

“Like you’re actually a human radiator.” He continued undeterred by your glare.

“Nott if you don’t want to lose your head I would advise you to shut up.”

Theo grinned and you felt your heart stutter at the sight. “Oh so now I’m back to being Nott? What happened to Theo?” He said his name in a high pitched croon in an attempt to mock your voice and you smacked the backside of his head which only encouraged his laughter.

“You’re actually going to be the death of me.” You groaned as you slumped back down the bed, pulling the covers over your face as a feeble attempt to hide yourself from the pretty Slytherin.

Theo poked your arm and you peeked out to find him staring at you with a bright grin on his face. 

"Don't worry." He reassured you, his voice light and teasing. "I'll make sure to stay by your side forever and ever, like a blood-sucking parasite."

“How romantic.” You drawled as you rolled your eyes, trying to maintain a facade of annoyance as you retreated under the covers once more.

“Aren’t I just?” 

You ignored Theo’s playful whines for you to let him see your face. Your heart threatened to break out of your chest as you tried to calm yourself down. But even so, you were unable to stop the grin that spread across your face. Maybe, just maybe, forever wouldn't be so bad with Theodore Nott by your side.

[wosofutbolfan]

Remember, Remember

Alexia Putellas x Explorer!R

Sometimes being in a relationship with someone from a different culture can be hard, but so worth it.

3rd part in the Explorer! Verse. Pt 1 and Pt 2 can be found here.

Fluff. 10k.

We're officially in October and the leaves are crunchy so we're here for the Autumnal vibes. Again, this is a complete vanity piece, and may only make sense to those Brits out there but should be readable to everyone. For those who don't know what Bonfire Night is, good ol' wiki can help, here.

People wanted more of the team involved so this is my attempt at that!

I'm trying to get into my short fluff era but here we are 10k words later. Honestly, those people who can write short, snappy pieces, take a bow.

3rd part in the Explorer! Verse. Pt 1 and Pt 2 can be found here. Again, all can be read alone but are better together.

For those interested, this is the song playing in my head when I wrote this. Did I mention my dreadful taste in music? James Blunt is king.

You threw another log on the fire and with a sigh, moved back and settled more deeply into the rattan furniture you were sitting on. You lay your head back and take in the stars scattered on a blanket of darkness above you, smoke plume rising gently and disappearing into the inky abyss.

With the crackle of the fire being the only soundtrack to your evening, you noted the changing of the season in the crunching of the leaves on the patio, and the lack of cicadas chirping which had become the soundtrack to your new life in Barna.

It had been a few months since your accident.

You called it an accident.

Alexia called it an inevitability.

She hadn’t quite shook off her anger whenever reminded of what happened. She would turn quiet and mutter in fast-catalan to herself, something you learnt she would only do if she was really annoyed and didn’t want you to understand her; “neu estúpida, que fins i tot necessita veure tanta neu de totes maneres”.

But you had learnt the best thing to do in these situations would be to bundle her into your chest and give her your previously injured hand which she seemed to find comfort in massaging, as though reminding herself that there was blood running through the veins.

You’d apologise, and you’d thank her over and over again.

You knew she was never angry, she was scared.

But, you’d both worked through her fear and your trauma, you’d mended physically and mentally. Both going to therapy, surprisingly, after Alexia has insisted on it.

The usually stern captain was a massive advocate of the counseling, finding it helped her during her injuries and time away from the pitch.

You needed more convincing, talking to strangers about feelings did not come naturally to your keep calm and carry on attitude. 

You were much more inclined to put on Paddington 2, lay on Alexia's lap whilst she played with your hair and pretended that she didn't know you were crying.

But after one-too-many nights waking up with a start after feeling trapped by your blankets, or on one bad occasion, shoving your girlfriend out of bed when her arm slung across your stomach had felt like a vice suffocating you, you had agreed. 

For her.  

You’d do anything for her.

You knew Alexia was relieved, with the shadows disappearing from your eyes. She told you that you had your spark back.

You think she was just happy she didn’t have to keep being the small spoon. 

She did miss Paddington 2 though. She loved that damn bear.

You both found your rhythm. And you settled into domesticity that you never expected to adore so much until you met the blonde and you know… almost died.

Alexia looked at you every day like she couldn’t believe you were standing in her kitchen, or settled onto her couch when she returned from training.

It melted your heart every time that look was directed your way, and it tugged on your heart strings when you imagined her coming home to an empty house when you were on an expedition, worried about if you were dead or alive.

You swore to yourself that you would never let that image become a reality again.

But.

You had itchy feet. Naturally. You hadn’t changed that fundamentally as a person, and you knew a jobless, housewife in a high-rise city centre apartment you were not.

So, one day, you had sat Alexia down and held her hands in yours, and told her you needed a job.

“You do not need a job mi amor! I look after us, and you stay safe, I like it. me gusta cuidarte.” she’d proudly exclaimed, practically puffing her chest out like a caveman. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her.

“Of course I need a job, love. I am not making a life of walking around Barna, watching football games and being a beach bum.”

“I like your beach bum.” she’d retorted, childishly whilst you swatted her wandering hands.

“I know you do bebe…” you’d straddled her lap then and looped your hands around her neck, playing with her baby hairs at the nape of her neck.

You knew she loved that.

That was confirmed as her eyes fluttered closed at your ministrations. “But I want to build a life here and I know what I want to do…” 

“Yes Mi Amor, anything you like, I will help you. I have contacts. I will support you in what you chose.” she’d giddily replied, seemingly doing a 180 on your career decisions once she realised it was a part of you cementing a life in Spain.

“Well you know, I’m kinda really good at what I do…” you saw her face drop slightly, though she quickly recovered, “well… what I did… you know. And I still love it, that will never change even after… everything…” you felt her squeeze your waist tighter at that. “but my skills outdoors, survival, foraging, working knots…” 

Well.

She couldn’t deny that. - you had accidentally become barca’s unofficial shoelace captain after you’d tied Mapis boots once for her when she’d dislocated her thumb, and they had to be cut off. Suddenly you had a whole teamload of girls queuing up for your services, headed by your girlfriend.

She was the only one who got a kiss on the knee as you finished up though.

Alexia immediately declared it a pre-match requirement.

“Si?” she asked, somewhat desperately.

“So I am thinking. I would like to join the British Army.”

A breath of silence, a beat, maybe not even more than 3 seconds until…

“Si crees que voy a aceptar que te unas al puto ejército, estás literalmente loco!, No, No, Absolutely not.” she was up now, you tossed aside as she started pacing… whilst you were on the couch…

Laughing your arse off.

“Que. What is so funny tu idiota?” she took a pause in her pacing, her stern face directed directly at you, hands raised in despair.

“I’m only joking Ale!” you giggled to yourself, wiping tears from your eyes. “Come get back here you big oaf.” you dragged her back into your embrace.

“You are not funny.” You could have camped on that bottom lip as she pouted.

“I am a little funny.” you'd bantered, showing a measurement of how funny you thought you were with your forefinger and thumb, which she pushed together with a huff.

But you noticed that she didn't let go of your hand.

Softie.

“Ok not funny my love I’m sorry. No, never the army. I do not want danger. Or travel for months at a time.  That part of my life is over.”

“sí, lo es” she’d mumbled.

“But, I do still have the contact urge to be outdoors. To share what I know. To show people the world.” you spoke with so much passion that she couldn’t help but nod. It was that same spark that she fell in love with.

“So, I have spoken to Mario…”

A smile appeared on her face. God. She loved that guy. He was a lovable rogue and she loved when he and his tribe of kids would join you at games. Sometimes she’d secretly watch you from the tunnel play with them whilst you all waited for the game to start. It made her heart flutter as they clambered all over you.

“... and he’s up for it too. If we go into business together. Guided tours and expeditions. Like how we met. But permanently. It would be based here, in Spain, and obviously I would be travelling but no more than a week or two at a time, and it would all be very low level and safe. Nothing big…. But if it makes you un…”

You were abruptly stopped in your rambling by her lips on yours.

“You don’t have to ask my permission mi amor. But I support you. It sounds fantastic. Perfecta para ti.”

You knew she’d support you but you still felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. 

“... but not. Like… exactly like the trip we met on. No? No falling in love with other women, si?” 

You’d burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of your girlfriend at that. “No, my love, never.” you’d muttered into her lips.

As you sit now, in your tree-lined garden on the southern edge of the Montseratt national park, only a short commute from estadi johan cryuff, you couldn’t really imagine a more perfect life.

You’d moved away from the city not long after you’d built your business. Turns out alot of people want a tour that a record-breaking explorer was running, and that's how Christopher Colum-Tours became a massive success.

You were booked for years in advance.

Mostly because you made sure you took so few, but well paying jobs. You thought the name was hilarious, when Alexia didn’t you were sure it was lost in translation.

She assured you it was not.

You’d mentioned it in passing to her that you needed more space to store all of your kit, but you didn’t expect her eyes to light up and to wake up the next day with 20 different house viewings booked.

She was literally buzzing with excitement, dragging you around Spanish villas on the edges of Barcelona, pointing out coving and brickwork. You'd never been fancy, you didn't care.

Until you walked into the last house on the list. And you knew you would build your life there.

It was on the southern edge of the national park, more modest than the others you had seen but views from the master balcony were endless and beautiful. It was surrounded by forest and its garden wasn’t as sculpted as you’d gotten used to in these multi million villas.

It was a wild garden with a natural-styled pool and a built-in fire pit.

It blended into the landscape it was built within.

Alexia has found you on the balcony, giddy about beams and authentic features, and all it had taken was one look in her eyes before she was squealing with glee “It's this one isn’t it amor!”.

Alexia had tried to pay outright cash. But you had refused. You both went on the mortgage and you loved that, that piece of paper connected you.

When you tried to explain that to her she’d lovingly rolled her eyes, “only you would see the good side to tens of hundreds of euros worth of debt and interest, Mi Amor.”

But you knew that meant she agreed. And she loved you.

So no, you couldn’t really understand the melancholy that was settling over you at the moment.

You’d just returned from a trip to England for your brother's birthday. Even though you now lived in Spain you’d been able to go to more family events than ever before, with your lack of travelling the world. 

You made the journey across every few weeks, usually when Alexia was away with a game or the national team. And you’d loved being more dependable to your family, with your nieces and nephews, being a part of their growing up.

Maybe that's why you are a bit sad now. It's November 3rd. The Spanish air was crisp but you couldn’t see your breath in the air like you could in England. The smell was all forest and fresh air. The days are still bright. There wasn’t a lingering fog in the evenings, or the smell of burning sulphur with the symphony of rogue fireworks being set off until the early hours.

Because this week was your favourite week growing up.

Mischief week, the firemen who visited your school had called it.

The week between Halloween and Bonfire night when kids lost their minds, hyped up on sweets and adrenaline. Bonfire displays all around your village and fireworks bursting the sky into life. You’d go to the cricket club display every year, warmed by the bonfire and cider. You’d eat toffee apples and hotpot. You’d spend the rest of the week sitting in your living room with the lights off watching the sky light up.

Usually you didn’t even notice what you were missing out on. But you had a home now. And you felt a little sad to be missing out on the festivities that your family group chat was organising.

But Alexia had just returned from National Camp. And she was always a bit down when she returned. Even if she pretended not to be. So you wouldn’t have delayed your return to Spain for all of the world.

You’d picked her up from the airport in your battered truck that she pretended she hated, spent a cosy evening together sharing food and soft kisses.

She’d gone to wash the plane off her whilst you wandered to your favourite part of the house and built a fire.

You tried to not drown in your own melancholy as you stared skywards. You heard the sliding of the patio door and you didn’t need to open your eyes to imagine your girlfriend making her way out to you. Cup of tea in one hand and ginger tea in the other. Scuttling barefoot with a blanket draped over her head adorably, muttering about you insisting on being outside. 

And when you felt a warm mug pressed into your hands you knew your image had been correct, you couldn’t hide your shy smile as you felt a kiss being dropped to your neck as she settled on the other side of the garden furniture, legs draped into your lap. You enjoyed the warmth of her legs as you continued to look skyward.

You didn’t realise how much time had passed until you felt Alexia sit up next to you and stroke your hair behind your ear.

“¿Qué pasa mi amor?” she’d whispered into the silence of the evening. You turned your head towards her, “Nothing, love, sorry I was just in my own world for a second there.” you smiled at her, reassuringly.

“en tu propio mundo…” she muttered to herself, struggling for a moment with the translation. “Ah, well. I thought so, usually I don't need to even think it before you’re massaging my knee, I was practically kicking you there carino and nothing.” she’d laughed lightly, as you flicked her playfully on the nose, whilst still moving your spare hand under the blanket and digging into the flesh of her calf, glad she’d asked for what she wanted.

“Let me in ti mundo, mi amor. What's on your mind.” she asked, lovingly, whilst laying back down, suppressing a groan as your hands manipulated the tissue around her knee cap, digging into the tightness that you found there with practised ease.

“Nada, soy buena.” you’d replied, purposefully timing your reply with a particularly satisfying knead just under her kneecap, making the beautiful blonde groan loudly, “Shhh, Ale. You don’t want to give the neighbours a show.”

She lightly kicked out at you at your teasing comment, rolling her eyes, “We don’t have any neighbours idiota, unless you count that molesta goat that you insist on feeding when he turns up in the garden.”

“His name is Billy and he’s my friend. You keep Billy out of this.” you allow a beat of silence, “And he’s not a goat he’s a mountain goat, he’s manly, don’t upset him…” you raise your voice “Billy if you’re listening ignore her she’s being mean!... Hey! Ale stop kicking me! I am not a ball.”

“You're trying to distract me.” she says, plainly. “What are you thinking?”, the way her eyes look at you with so much love stops any lie that was on the tip of your tongue.

“It’s silly…” another huff from the side of you, “I’m just missing home a little but thats all.” you admit, and her face drops. “No, not home, sorry, England. Home is here with you. Obviously.” you panic, you don’t want to upset her, Alexia is home. 

You don’t know what's come over you but you can’t stop speaking, 

“It’s just this time of year, it's my favourite time of year that's all. I never missed it when I was away, I didn’t have time to. But now I feel so at home here. With you. That it just feels a bit weird to not be doing what I did growing up and if we had kid…” you stop yourself, eyes widening.

Her smile is breathtaking. Her eyes light up and it's all teeth. But she gives you an out.

“And what would you usually be doing at this time of year, mi amor?” she asks,

“You know… Remember, Remember, the 5th of November…” you trail off, speaking in that rhythmic way British school kids are taught. Her blank expression makes you continue “...gunpowder, treason and plot. No? Really? I’m sure I was taught he was Spanish.”

“Amor, you are speaking in riddles. Help me here.” she asks, with a laugh teasing her lips.

“It's Bonfire Night, Guy Fawkes Night, Fireworks Night… whatever you call it.”

“I think Amor, we call it a Thursday Night.”

“Oh. Yeah, no of course. Sorry.”

“Why are you apologising to me? Tell me about it. Tell me what you’d be doing.” she asks, so genuinely that it cracks your heart wide open.

So you do, you tell her.

You tell her all about what you were taught in school. About Guido and his gang of conspirators, about parliament, about gunpowder and about the plan to blow up the King. You tell her about hanging, drawing and quartering, laughing at her squeamishness. You feel yourself getting giddy as you wrack the corners of your brain trying to remember all of the story you were brought up on. 

You tell her about penny for a guy, about kids sitting outside shops with their effigies for pennies, you tell her about your dad setting off fireworks in your street, almost blowing himself up, and then your mum insisting you go only to the official bonfire at the cricket club from that year onwards and watch the effigy being burnt on the enormous fire.

Alexia listened with rapt attention, and as you stopped for breath she spoke; “esperar, esperar, so let me get this correcta. Some guy 500 years ago tried to blow up cortes generales, so they graphically and publicly murdered him… and you celebrate that, as a country every year, by… kids begging and burning him on a fire you all go stand around?... In November?”

“Si.” you reply, with a smile and a nod, eyes moving back skywards.

“Estás todo loco” she laughs.

And you suppose it is. A bit mad, when you think about it really. But you were feeling a bit sensitive and a bit… mocked?

You felt like how you feel when someone would name-call your brother on the playground. You can do that. He’s your brother. But someone else can’t. Because that's your brother.

Alexia can’t mock your traditions. They’re yours. God knows you’d bit your lip throughout all of hers. I mean. If you could get through the explanation of a literal model of a pooping Alexia on your Nativity last year you felt like maybe she would get this. You even graciously accepted your own Canager from Eli with a smile.

You took a moment, a deep breath, you knew you were being sensitive, out of character. 

You knew usually you’d join in with her laughter, maybe tickle her and have a fake argument about it just as an excuse to make up. But you weren’t really feeling it today.

“Well, let’s agree to disagree, yeah?” you turned and smiled, you moved her trouser leg back down under the blanket, gave her knee a pat and moved her legs off you to stand. Whilst she looked up at you in bewilderment, with wide, curious eyes.

“I’m gonna get to bed love, I’m really tired all of a sudden, going to get my head down before I wake myself up again, you okay sorting the fire and locking up?”

She nodded, lost for words for a moment, practically having whiplash at the mood swing. You didn’t let Alexia lock up, or sort the fire. They’re your jobs. Always have been. Keeping you both safe. So she knew you were upset.

“Amo…” she started but she heard the patio door slide closed and moved to throw some sand onto the fire. She noticed your mug of tea on the arm of the sofa where you’d been sitting.

And when she saw that it was still half full she knew. 

She’d fucked up.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“....and then she said, estemos de acuerdo en no estar de acuerdo, and went to bed! And Mapi. She left her tea!” Alexia explained, desperately to her best friend, the next morning at training.

“...It’s only tea Ale.” Mapi tried to reassure her, “It means nothing amiga I am sure.”

“No, you don’t understand. And she was asleep when I went to bed and it wasn't even 10 minutes later. And then this morning, she was still asleep. She’s never still asleep. You know her Maps, she's up with the sun and…” the midfielder lowered her voice further,

“she always makes me a coffee with the cute foam heart and she didn’t but maybe she’s just tired, I thought, but then I looked and I saw she must have been up that morning because there was food out in the garden for that stupid goat… so was she pretending to be asleep to not speak with me?”

Alexia's voice got more and more panicked as she rambled on.

Mapis' heart melted for her friend,  the panic in her face reminded her of the Ale who used to pace the changing rooms with her phone cemented to her hand waiting for word from you. Of the Alexia who missed games because she made herself sick with worry that you were dead somewhere. She hadn’t seen this Ale for a while. She needed to help.

“Keira! Come here!” Mapi shouted over to the red haired midfielder.

“Mapi! Shh. Don’t! What are you doing!” Alexia hissed,

“I think this is a British problem, Ale, we need an expert.” 

“Well, why shout across the room? Lucy is standing right there.” Alexia pointed to the defender who was currently pretending her shin pads were lightsabers.

“Lucy thinks she’s Spanish.”

Alexia hummed. 

Fair point.

“What's up guys? Skip? Why do you have that face on?”

“Say the thing Capi. You know… the spell thing.” Mapi painfully nudged her captain in the ribs… “Que?... Oh…. Remember Remember the 5th of November....”

“Gunpowder, treason and plot, I see no reason, why gunpowder treason, should ever be forgot. Yeah? Why are we doing nursery rhymes” Keria recited, without a pause. Looking at them both, curiously.

“See it is a thing!” Alexia exclaimed, hitting Mapi over the head, “tell her what happened Capi.” Mapi asked, as Keira settled between the two.

As her story came to a close Alexia began to finish up… “and then she said we should ‘agree to disagree’” at this Keria winced but gestured for her skipper to carry on “...and then she went to bed but didn’t finish her tea.” Keira audibly groaned at that, moving to grab the taller girl's shoulder.

“Sorry Skip, In British ‘agree to disagree’ means, ‘I’m really upset but I don’t want to talk about it’ and well… I think it's a crime to leave a cup of tea. She must have really wanted to get out of there.”

“But why! I don’t know what I did!” the blonde groans into her hands.

“We’ll figure it out, amiga” Mapi reassured her, rubbing her back sympathetically.

“Erm…” Keria looked up, unsure.

“What?” Alexia's head shot up, looking at her teammate.

“I don’t want to talk out of turn Skip.. but…”

“No, go on, help me, please. What did I do?” Alexia asks, desperately.

“You can be... Well... You can all be… a bit. Catalan?”

“Que?!” the captain exclaimed, “What does that mean? I am Catalan!”

“No, No I know. And it's not a bad thing. But. You know, there's a lot. A lot to remember, Saint Jordi, all the pan con tomate…the loud dinners, the touching, the human towers… the fire-devil thing. And it's great! I love it! I respect it, And I know she does too but…”

“But…?” Mapi and Alexia ask together, looking everything like school children at a lesson, pencils poised. 

“But. And I am just guessing here…”

“Speak Keira or I will make you run laps.” the captain threatens.

“Maybe, you could… you know… try a bit… and I mean… a little bit. With some English things?” she finishes her sentence as a question, nervous to criticise her well-respected captain in any way.

“What do you mean! I do! I respect her! And all her things!”

“I know it's not on purpose Ale. But how would you feel if she said Sainte Jordi was silly.”

“It’s not silly! It's special, Mi Papi used to get me and Alba a rose every year and I still remember it now. I love doing it every year. It makes me feel… oh.”

“Yeah. And you know, me and Lucy come round for Sunday roast every month and you always go out.” she’d started now so she supposed, in-for a penny in for a pound, “and when she put an orange in your stocking at Christmas you laughed and told her it was a bad football and kicked it at her.”

Alexia looks at her teammate, cluelessly, whilst Mapi sniggers behind her hand,

“Alexia, It’s an English thing. Oranges don’t grow in England. They used to be a luxury so people would give them at Christmas to people they love. Like a sign of sharing?...and on pancake day you told her it went against your diet plan…” 

“Didn't she literally fell a tree last year to make you your own Caga Tio? She asked me where Onas was from, I said Amazon and I'm fairly sure she thought I meant the rainforest…” Lucy joined in on the salt being rubbed into the enormous wound party that Alexia didn't even know she was hosting. 

“Okay, Okay, I get it.” The captain said. Raising her hand. She felt terrible. She did go out on what she’d dubbed ‘English-Night’ when Keira, Lucy and sometimes Ona would invade her kitchen and cook weird food and watch English TV shows.

But she thought you'd want to enjoy your evening in English without her. And the pancake thing… well. It did go against her diet plan. 

You never said it was a tradition. 

She would have made an exception. 

She'd do anything for you.

You happily went along with all of her things, she had never even told you about Caga Tio, you'd found out on your own and done such an incredibly sweet thing that Alexia had cried and slept with it next to her side of the bed for a week. 

Not that she'd tell her teammates that. 

She hadn’t realised you’d been trying to share your traditions with her and she’d been closing it down.

“Why didn’t she say anything?” Alexia asks helplessly,  

“Because she loves you, and she doesn’t care as long as you’re happy I suppose… and also… because she’s English.”

This made her roll her eyes in frustration.

She felt ignorant.

She would fix this.

“Mapi, I need your help.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’d managed to shake off your little moodswing by the early afternoon.

You’d spent the morning answering a few work emails and planning a few new routes. As you set off for your run you felt noticeably brighter, calculating that if you did a bit of a longer run than usual then Alexia should be back home when you returned.

Sometimes you did that on purpose, and went on a longer run so she would be home when you got back. Like when you go to the toilet in a restaurant and you're excited when your meal is at the table when you return.

A little treat for yourself. 

God you had it bad.

You really wanted to spend time with your girlfriend, you felt a little bad about your moodiness and you wanted to make it up to her.

So when you got home from your trail run to a driveway with just your truck in it you tried to keep the sadness down. Training must have gone on this afternoon, sometimes that happened.

By the time early evening rolled around, you got a bit concerned, just as you picked up your phone it vibrates in your hand.

sorry Mi Amor, training turned into watching film, I will eat with Mapi at the canteen, see you soon, love you, miss you xx

You let out a little huff of annoyance to yourself. It's not Alexia's fault that you wasted your time together yesterday being moody. It's not her fault she's stuck at work.

At least her version of being stuck at work isn't being trapped under a mountain of snow and slowly dying.

Your little internal monologue of darkness makes you chuckle to yourself but your attention is grabbed by a knock on the front door.

“Hola Chica!!!”

You suddenly have a facefull of hair and are pulled into the bosom of a very loud and excitable Alba Putellas.

“Hi Alba! What are you doing here?” you ask, trying to not be rude but also wondering what has dragged the famously city-slicking younger Putellas out into the sticks.

“Que? Can a girl not come and spend the evening with their future cuñada? What's with the million questions hermana!” she blusters past you and into the entryway, leaving you standing with your mouth hanging open at the door as she settles into your sofa.

“... I asked one question” you mumbled to no one as you closed the door with the tornado now inside your home.

You explained that Ale was stuck at work, but Alba dismissed your apologies with a flick of her hand. “I'm not here for her, I’ve spent too much time with her, I think we should spend the evening together. Hermana to future Hermana.”

“Erm… sure.” You got on well with Alba. You got on well with all of Ales' family. They;d welcomed you as one of their own immediately. Eli had taken a vested interest in “getting you back up to strength” after your accident. That mainly consisted of not letting you leave the dinner table until eating 3 full plates of paella.

Usually though, Alba could be found in the bars of Barna, not in your living room, and you had a feeling that she knew Alexia was stuck at work. Which meant that Ale had sent her to spend the evening with you. And you hadn’t gotten away with your melancholy without her notice yesterday like you hoped you had.

Still, the thought of her sending her sister to keep you company warmed your heart.

Hours later your stomach hurt from laughing so much, and you felt ill with the amount of food you’d consumed. You and Alba had spent the evening watching telenovelas and cackling at the erratic storylines. Alba would insist every character was gay and you would nearly wet yourself with laughter when in 4 episodes she was proven right.

It's late when you hear the door slam in the hallway, you glance up at the clock and see its later than you even imagined.

“Hola cariño!” Alexia yells from the hall, and you can hear her shoes being kicked off and bag being shoved into the hall cupboard.

“Hola, my love!” Alba mocks back, voice high pitched and sounding resolutely nothing like yours.

You shove her by her shoulder as you rise to greet your girlfriend.

“Hola, my love.” you repeat as you greet her, settling into her open arms and nuzzling into her neck dropping a kiss against her warm skin you find there.

You take a deep breath of the taller woman. “Ale… why do you smell like… onions?” you ask, curiously.

“Vale, vale, I am going to bed before the show starts.” Alba interrupts as Alexia separates herself from you in order to reach across and slap her sister's head.

“Oh, Si? Si Alba, of course you can stay over. Thank you for asking.” she shouts sarcastically at her sisters retreating from. Grumbling to herself as she turns back to her.

“Oh behave you big grump you love it when she stays over.” you whisper, falling into her arms again, settling into her warmth. “Long day?”

You feel the tension leave her body now she's home. “Si… we got lots done though,”

“Good. Feel ready for the weekend then?” you ask, she had a game on Saturday and you know she preferred to be over prepared.

“The weekend?”

“Si, the game? Seville?” you ask, with a laugh to your voice. She must be tired.

“Oh, si, sorry, of course. I am tired mi amor. Yes. I feel ready.” she replies, moving to face you more closely, large hand cupping your cheek and dropping a quick kiss to your lips.

She moves away but you aren’t finished. You've had a long day of missing your girlfriend. And you pull her closer and deepen the kiss, moulding your lips to hers and groaning when she accepts your tongue in her mouth. As you break apart for breath you hear her mutter a little ‘wow’, which melts your heart.

Seriously, only your world famous, drop dead gorgeous, professional footballing girlfriend can get so worked up over some heavy petting.

It's her turn to pull your lips back together and you enjoy swapping sweet kisses before you pull apart… “Al…” she's moved down to your neck… “Ale… why do you taste like… pepper?”

“Huh?” you can’t see her face as she continues to press kisses down your neck. “Don’t know what you’re talking about amor.” she seems to have decided she's finished with your neck for now as she takes a step back.

“I better go wash the day off me. Meet you in bed?” she asks, and who are you to refuse as you nod your agreement and start to tidy the living room as she leaves for upstairs.

“Hey?” you look up and she's popped her head back into the living room, “I missed you today.” she says, simply. Cheeky smile on her face.

Alexia was the most intelligent and complex woman you knew. But sometimes her ability to be so simple was the thing that made you fall so deeply in love with her. She missed you, so she told you.

“I missed you too, love.” you reply, softly. 

She smiles satisfied, and moves from the doorway again. For 3 seconds until she reappears.

“Don’t go to sleep til I’m there por favor, I want to fall asleep together.” you feel your blush start to creep up your neck and open your mouth to reply before,

“Ay dios mio, perdedora! It's a shower, you aren’t going to drown. How do either of you get anything done!” Alba shouts from the top of the stairs, and your girlfriend's head quickly disappears again, before you hear a scream and the thunder of her scaling the stairs…

“vuelve aquí diablo!”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You drummed your fingers on the steering wheel as you waited for your girlfriend outside of the training buildings. It wasn’t usual but she’d asked you to pick her up that morning.

As you’d passed her her morning coffee (foam art included), she’d taken a moment longer than usual giving you a soft morning kiss and breathing you in before she asked you to keep the afternoon free.

“I want to take you on a date, Mi Amor.” she’d mumbled, cutely, “Alba will take me back into the city, then you can pick me up after your session at the school, dress warm.”

“I haven’t said yes yet!” you’d teased, with a roll of your eyes, “and hey, what they say is true, el romance esta muerto! I am picking you up for a date you asked me on! Tut. Ale. You used to be suave.”

“soy muy suave.” she’d confidently replied. “You’ll see on our date… that you’re picking me up for”.

A cheeky smile and a pat on the bum later she’d chased Alba out of the house, and suddenly you felt like you were watching the vision that Eli had grown old too.

Two bickering Putellas sisters acting like teenagers on their way to the school bus, hitting each other and Alba chasing Alexia down the drive after one kick too many.

So, you’d done as you were told and after your talk with 28 school kids about basic survival skills here you find yourself patiently waiting for your girlfriend.

The door to the training facility opened and you were surprised to see Alexia emerge bundled up in far too many layers and knit hat cutely adorned on her head. She really was adverse to the cold. Usually she’d be the last to leave training, insisting on a team talk or taking extra free kicks, but she searched the car park eagerly and eyes lit up as she took you in in your beat up old blue pickup truck.

The next surprise she gave you was when she didn’t hurry to the passenger seat, instead making her way to your window and, when you didn’t move, knocking on it with a rap of her knuckles. You roll the window down with a quick of your eyebrow.

“Can I help you señora?” you ask, “Si, mover… por favour. I am driving.”

The absurdity of her comment makes you bark out a laugh, but you do as your told,

“Ale, you hate my truck.”

“I have never said that.”

“Yes you have. One million times. ‘Mi Amor, your truck brings our house price down.’...’Amor, your truck is warming the planet. I thought you liked trees.’...”Amor, your truck is so loud that I think a dinosaur is coming up the driveway…” you imitate, crudely but with a gentle laugh.

She just fixes you with a stern eye as she turns the key, a large grinding sound coming from the engine.

“In gear please Ale!”..."Ah, Si.” followed by the successful roar of the engine.

“Remember love, she doesn't have any heated seats, we listen to my Beatles CD cause its stuck in the player, and the gearbox is a little worn so please… be gentle”

“Weird, usually you aren’t asking me to be gentle.” she dryly replies, eyebrow arched and make you blush. She moves her hand to your thigh and you take it in both of yours as she asks about the school you spoke in, she listens with rapt attention and you bask in the way her eyes light up when she tells you about how Jana finally mastered a trick she’d been working on.

You’d gotten so lost in conversation and checking out your hot girlfriend that you’d forgotten to check your destination until you felt the truck come to a halt.

As you looked around you saw you were in a small car park, a familiar style building imposing in front of you.

A stadium.

You can’t help but be a little disappointed, if Ale’s idea of date night had transformed into football games then you may as well start just going to training with her to keep your romantic life alive.

“Oh. Lovely.” you’d hoped you’d infused as much enthusiasm into your tone as you could. Just happy to spend time with the blonde. “Who’s playing?”

“Barca.” she’d replied, getting out of the car and hurrying to your door, all the while holding her hand up as she hurried past the bonnet indicating to you that she wanted to open it.

She’d taken your hand in her large one and started to walk towards the stadium, you looked around and took in a few people milling about, some with unrecognisable kit on.

You don’t know if a temporary deafness had taken over your girlfriend but she ignored you as she pulled you towards the turnstiles. It was a much smaller stadium than your girlfriend usually played at, and it was quick to get into the grounds.

“Ah, gran admirador?” the steward asked, as he pointed at your trusty blaugrana laces, and you just smile and nod, no idea what's going on.

As you looked up you were at pitch level and you saw a familiar sight of… ‘H’ shaped sticks? You almost broke your own neck at the speed at which you spun to look at your girlfriend who was staring at you with a Cheshire cat grin splitting her face.

“We’re here to watch Rugby!” she practically cheers, clearly very happy with herself.

You’d always used it as a weapon to tease your football-obsessed captain-girlfriend with, that you had been brought up on Rugby. Your brother played and you’d spend weekends down at the Rugby Club cheering on at the side lines. Your dad followed the town team religiously and you’d been dragged down to London more than once for cup finals.

As your world got bigger your love for the game diminished but the familiar smell of tiger balm and clack of metal studs always managed to make you feel 9 again down at the local rugby club.

You felt a childlike giddiness erupt from your stomach as you took in your glowing girlfriend. “Ale, this is… this is…” you feel a bit emotional as you struggle to get your words out, your girlfriend saves you.

“Vamos! Let's go find the best place to watch!” Alexia drags you into the small stands which are sparsely occupied. 

“I didn’t even know Barcelona had a rugby team…” you say as you take your seat,

“Si, they do. They were promoted in 2006 but have been struggling since… they are currently 4th in the league though and today they’re playing 3rd so it…”

You interrupt your girlfriend by pressing a kiss to her lips, unable to stop your affection as you realise how much she had researched for you. “Te amo.” you mutter into her lips. You open your eyes before her and see her sit with her eyes closed for a moment, smile teasing on her lips, dazed.

“yo también te amo cariño” she replies, opening her eyes, “now come, watch. They're kicking off.”

You thoroughly enjoy yourself for the next 80 minutes. You realise that you have never watched a sports game with Alexia. Usually watching her or if she wasn’t playing she’d be sat on the bench with the team. 

She’d usually be too invested and serious to have a fun time. But here, without being impacted by the outcome, nor really having any idea what was going on. Alexia was clearly having the time of her life.

She was giving off serious big dick energy, sitting in her plastic chair like she owned the stadium, legs spread wide and ankles hooked as she took in the pitch before her. Alexia wasn’t into PDA, however, here she pulled you close to her as though you were in your living room, clearly happy that she wouldn’t be bothered by anyone at a sparsely populated Rugby game. 

“Amor, comer aqui. Explain this to me… “ she'd gestured to the pitch before her with one hand and pulled you closer with the other, draping both of your legs over one of hers so your legs dangled between hers, and you sat sideways facing her as she rested her arm around your shoulders. 

You tried to ignore the feel of her strong thigh muscle underneath yours. Noticeable even though two sets of heavy clothing. 

She started to play with the baby hairs at the nape of your neck as you tried to explain a scrum, mauls and drop kicks.

But you found yourself watching her side profile more than the game, her sharp jaw, the curve of her eyebrow. How cute she looked in her little barca beanie, eyes bright with excitement. 

She gives your hair a little tug, “Mira el juego bebe…” she mutters, eyes still looking forward but a grin teasing her lips, “...I paid a good €8 for these tickets.”

You laugh and concentrate on the game before you, laughing at Alexia's commentary throughout, ‘you can use your hands! How is it even that hard!’ until a big hit where she would recoil into herself and muttered ‘nevermind’.

She would cheer every time someone kicked the ball and when you got into the game and shouted “Offside ref!!” she hushed you and insisted that it wasn’t, until you explained the offside rule was different and her mind nearly exploded. 

It was a close game and you found yourself sucked in.

Becoming more animated until the final play of the game, Barca had possession and you couldn’t help it when you stood up and shouted, “stick it up your jumper… go on… RUN….ooooh!”, you looked down and saw Alexia looking up at you with wide eyes, a teasing glint in them, you grew flushed and sat down tentatively, “Amor, I have never seen you so… aggressive… I like it.” she decided, smirk on her lips.

Barca ended up losing but it didn’t take away any of the shine from the day, as you left the stadium you swung your hands between your bodies with excitement, “Ale, that was the best surprise date ever. Thank you.”

You noticed that a look you didn’t recognise flashed across her face as she opened the door for you, guiding you into the passenger seat with a kiss.

“Can we go to Casa Pepe for some dinner?” you ask, looking out of the window and taking in the darkened sky, “No.” she replied, which caused you to turn, and you saw a wry grin on her face, “date isn’t over yet amor, I have plans on plans. Sit back and enjoy the ride.”

Alexia then goes onto stall the truck and take off to a stuttering start, and because she was being so sweet you didn’t say anything but looked out of the window to hide your face.

“Shut up.” she chides anyway.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’re confused as Alexia drives your truck off road and onto a beach just outside the main area of Barcelona. You see fairy lights in front of you and a huddle of cars and people milling around.

“What's going on Ale?” you ask, trying to take in the look on her face in the darkness of the cab of your truck as she reverses into a semi-circle with some other cars.

She doesn’t have a chance to answer before you are startled by a knock on your window and Mapis' face pressed against the glass with glee.

“You’re here! You’re here! Finally… Capi, can we start it now pleaaaase….” Mapi is silenced by her girlfriend who has made her way over and pulled her from the window. “Give them a second kjære, come, I need your help over here…” and Ingrid winks at you as she leads her excitable puppy of a girlfriend away.

You remain not having any clue about what the hell is going on.

Alexia has slipped out of the truck and moved around to your side, opening the door and you spin on the bench, widen your legs, and pull her between them.

She looks at you with a wide, open expression.

“Remember, Remember, the 5th of November…” she starts, which immediately causes the penny to drop, as you look to the scene on the beach before you.

A large unlit bonfire stands a safe distance from the trunk of your car, you continue to look around and see Eli ordering around most of Alexias team mates and even some backroom staff you recognise from the training grounds, as she stands in charge of what seems to be a crudely put together buffet table. Illuminated by fairy lights you see pots of steaming food which she stirs intermittently.

You even spotted Mario with his newly pregnant (again!) wife and his tribe of kids playing with a small football alongside Jana and Marta.

You can’t help the tears that come to your eyes at the scene before you.

“I am so grateful for you Amor…” she starts, “You have fit so well into my family and life that maybe I missed some things about your family and life…”

“No Ale.”

“No it’s okay, I know you love me. But I wanted to do this for you. But then… well. It escalated. I asked Keira and Lucy for help but then they got so excited about bonfire night that they kind of invited themselves, and then one person turned into another… and then, as soon as Mapi found out there were explosives and fire I couldn’t keep her away. And well, Ingrid had to come because she has a vested interest in keeping Mapis fingers attached to her body. And well. At that point it had got so big that I just invited anyone from the club who wanted to come, and their families. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind! This is the sweetest thing in the world… Is that…” you sniff up… “hotpot?!”

Alexia soon became old news as you scurried over to Eli and the food table, kissing her in greeting and falling into her embrace, there were bubbling pots of Chilli, Hotpot, Mushy Peas and even a tray of toffee apples.

Ingrid had come over and presented a tray of parkin that she had baked, beautifully presented in the elegant way that only the Norwegian could. “I hope this is right, I googled it and Mapi taste tested it and she was happy, but honestly, she’s happy if I give her dog food so i’m not sure she's the best judge.”

“Ingrid it’s perfect.” you assured her, the grin breaking your face convincing her more than your words.

“Can we set the fire yet!” Mapi had shouted across the set up, bottle of accelerant in hand that she had been spraying onto the pile of dried wood. A somewhat maniacal look on her face.

One of the physios took the bottle from her hand gently and pushed her towards Ingrid, taking over the situation when he recognised there was a chance the whole beach was going up in flames if she was left in charge.

As the fire grew and grew, everyone's faces were bathed in the golden light. The chill was still in the air and you felt a large puffy jacket being slung around your shoulders. Alexia standing behind you, resting her chin on your head as you settled back into her.

“Ale. Is that Guy wearing a Real Madrid jersey?” you asked, amused, as you noticed that the traditional effigy had a familiar football shirt on.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, amor.” she replied, laughter in her voice. Before you had a chance to tease her further she pinched your hips, “come on, lets get some food! I’m starving, and all this brown British mushy food smells so good…”

Well. At least she was trying.

You ate and ate, you don’t think you’ve ever been as full in your life. Alexia had spent all the evening before perfecting her hotpot recipe with the help of Eli and it was good.

She’d even shown you the burn marks on her fingers where the hot toffee from the toffee apples has caught on her skin.

Eli told you how Alexia had turned up at her house with Mapi, arms full of ingredients needing help to make traditional foods, which she then stressed over for the rest of the evening, whilst Mapi paced the kitchen, talking to her ‘fireworks guy’, because of course Mapi had a man with explosives on speed dial. 

You’d told the story of Guy Fawks to an intrigued Irene, Mateo happily munching on a sticky apple on her knee. “Ah, I see… It feels like a cold San Juan. I like it” she’d declared, with an air of finality.

“So… they’re like, guisantes but… pulposa?” you overheard Parti asking Keria, as the ginger was gladly wolfing down a portion of mushy peas. “Yeah! Try them… you’ll love them.”

As a second passes before you hear a distinctive gag and Kerias laughter echoing around you think maybe Patri did not love them. Ona greedily scoffed her own portion down with Lucy looking on, proudly, “Te acostumbras amiga” she jeered towards her retreating friend, who went in search of the drinks table.

The fire dimmed but still fought on and you were shepherded towards your truck by your girlfriend, the hatch had been brought down and you could see that Alexia had stored every spare pillow and blanket from your house and made a cosy nest in the bed of your trunk.

She threw herself in, happy to warm herself in the nestle of blankets, always being more susceptible to the cold. Nose red and beanie pulled low down on her head. She opened her arms invitingly and you settled between her legs, watching the scene before you.

You watched as Alba and her latest girlfriend messed around feeding each other parkin. You watched as Mapi chased Pina around with a sparkler in her hand, the younger girl screaming for her life as Mapi cackled. You watched Eli cooing over Jona’s young baby, looking so confident with the newborn only an experienced mother could. You took in how Lucy seemed to eat her 5th bowl of chilli as Ona chatted her ear off.

The scene was perfect.

Only made more so as you felt Ale move her cold hands beneath your warm clothing, grabbing you around the stomach and resting her hands there, making you hiss at the contact, “buscar mi amor” she whispered into your ear, as you looked to the sky and watched as the familiar explosion of fireworks in the sky above you.

The whoops and hollers of the kids (and Mapi) warmed your heart, as you watched the display you let the the sound of the explosions and the ‘ooh’s’ and ‘ahh’s’ of the families and friends around you seep into your bones. The smell of sulphur invaded your senses and you settled more deeply into the woman behind you.

You quickly snapped a picture to share in your family group chat, quickly joining the tens of fireworks pictures from different displays as you all shared your evening, far away yet able to be involved, thanks to your Ale.

“Tell me about Bonfire Night, Mi Amor, I promise, I do not think it is silly.”

That much was obvious, with the effort she had gone to in such a short space of time. 

You told her about the big fires the village came together to build. How it made your community stronger. The fireworks and how the sky lit up all week. The school projects and crude drawings of fires you would make.  The toffee apples you would get stuck in your teeth and the parkin your mum would bake. 

How the stickiness would sit on your hands for days. How your dad would always throw an unexploded firework into the bonfire without thinking, making him run away from the explosions behind him as you and your brother peeled over with laughter. How the cold would pinch your cheeks and you’d check the bonfire for hedgehogs before it was lit. How you’d spend days building a guy from your dads old clothes stuffed with newspaper. How you would run around with sparklers and spend all the next day picking them up from the streets with your brother and putting them into a bucket.

“It sounds fun, Mi Amor. I am glad you grew up with so much love. I get to benefit from it now.” Alexia had muttered into your hair, and pressed a kiss to your head.

You felt those memories wash over you, and knew that this bonfire night would be right up there with them, cemented as the best times of your life.

Yes, you weren't used to the sound of the waves as you usually watched the bonfire burn, and no, you usually weren’t stood on a bed of sand. No, your usual bonfire night would not consist of Alexia telling off Jana and Patri for sneaking in croquetas behind one of the parked cars, insisting they had to eat the British food prepared.

But the smiles were the same, people coming together around the fire was the same, the children laughing and family enjoying time together was the same, couples falling further in love and cuddling together for warmth was the same, the colours and the sparkles that lit up everyone's faces. The same.

“Thank you Alexia. For all of this. The rugby, this, it’s…It's… perfect.”

“You are perfect.” she’d replied, without hesitation.

You swatted her hand that still rested on your stomach, “Soppy.” you’d admonished.

“Not sorry,” she’d quipped back. You fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying the sound of the fireworks popping above you.

“Our kids will celebrate bonfire night.” she’d let out, suddenly, with certainty. Finishing the thought you’d started to express days earlier. 

Before you had a chance to formulate a thought she continued, “and pancake day. And they will watch Rugby. And football. And celebrate La Mercè. They will know about Sant Jordi. And Saint George.”

“Ale…” you’d let out, wetly, tears brimming in your eyes.

“They will be a mix of both of us. And I will marry you, you know? One day. We will be married.”

There she is again, with her beautiful simplicity.

You don’t really know what to say to that, and you let the silence take hold for a moment.

Where was the woman who blushed in embarrassment when she realised you’d understood her muttered Spanish compliments? Though, you suppose, you’d both changed together. Where was the woman you used to be who would refuse to stay in a postcode for more than 2 weeks?

“ain’t no mountain high enough” you softly sang at her, trailing your fingers down her arm, lightly, it had become your song, between the two of you, when things were bad with your PTSD she would hold you close and sing quietly, in the safety of your bed, her spanish lilt would settle your heart rate and the lyrics would melt the ice in your veins.

Her arms squeeze you tighter, both lost in the safety of your blanket fortress under the stars, surrounded by friends and family but you may as well be the only people on the beach.

“I can’t wait to ask you, officially.”

God if this setup was her idea of a date, you couldn’t imagine her idea of a proposal.

“I can’t wait to say yes” you replied, playing with her ring finger that was settled on your stomach, “officially.” 

You moved back and kissed the tall blonde softly, passionately, until you’re interrupted by Mapi’s aggrieved exclamation;

“Espera! The Guy was ¿Español?”

[astrologylunadream]

How Their Higher Self Feels About You💍💎🩷 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hi it's Lunadream~😇 We will be "diving into" a reading on exactly how your person's true higher self feels about you!🌊🩷 hope you find your message ^^

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of yourself, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🌊💞

Pile 1🫧

Pile 2🪼

Pile 3⚪️

Pile 4🐋

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 🌊💍🩷

Pile 1🫧

Sign energy: Soul connection, Demand, Cheeks, Suspicion, Offer, Libra, 8th house, Neptune, 4th house, 11th house,🩺🧖‍♂️🫰📱

🩷Your person's energy: So this is a very dreamy and lovely person, they have really soft cheeks I'm hearing😇💕 Some of you may have met them online, through friends or possibly a dating app🤭 I can see a lot of my pile 1's falling in love with them through your phone. Your person is very kind and sweet, they feel spiritual aswell as emotional. Sign placements are Libra, Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer, and Aquarius. There is a very soft feminine aura to your person in this reading!💗😭 This is someone you have a soul connection with, they can be psychic when it comes to you and you are the same with them. This person is very intuitive, and they may have a sneaking suspicion about their connection with you.🔍🫢 They are comforting and gentle, also they seem friendly and good to you. Now some of you may have an obsession with this person, and you can't get enough of them.💓👀 They have a refreshing vibe, could be a water rising or neptune aspecting ascendant for some in this pile. You feel comfortable about this person, they feel safe and protective.🫂💖 Your heart rate may increase when you two are alone together or when you feel an intense energy from them.😮‍💨 Their fingers are really hot just saying😂 Some of my pile 4's like their posts or stalk their social media, or just fantasize about them a lot. This person has a lot to give especially in their relationships with people, they just give out so much love and kindness.🤗💞 But they may expect something deeper in return from their lovers. They can be a little pushy when it comes to getting back what they give. So they can be really sweet but they then want the other person to return their kind gesture🫴👀 Lol they may spend a lot of time on their phone, or with friends. You see this person as a soulmate or a potential forever partner which is so sweet.💗

💎How their higher self feels about you: Flower, Keep a secret, One and Only, Unrequited love, Practice, Water, 10th house, Capricorn, Pluto, 9th house,🎨🏃‍♀️‍➡️🐝🦵 Okaaayy they know you like themmm🙈💞 You are the only one for them!! They're keeping you like you're a secret PILE 1😝 You're just so soft and cute to them they wanna pick you up and bring you home😭🥰 Their higher self is aware of your feelings towards them and they aren't mad about it either😏💖 They actually really enjoy you feeling that way about them, it makes them feel reliable and admired.👑 Also they wanna make all your dreams come true, they bee-lieve in you haha because the bee emoji😂 I just realized the emojis is a girl running towards the bee, the bee movie anyone?🤣🤣 LOL now I can't stop laughing maybe that movie resonates with you. If you're going through a time of unrequited love they want to encourage you to confess and go through with it! Your person's higher self really wants to keep you in love with them, because it feels so good.😭 Their higher self also sees your spiritual or occult practices as something very intelligent and knowledgeable, like wow pile 1 knows all this that's amazing😢💗 You are unlike any other to your person's higher self, they feel you are so creative and ambitious! They have very delicate feelings for you, so soft for my pile 1's!💭 Their higher self is very drawn to you, there is a deep attraction to your legs and thighs🫢 They kinda want to be the only one to own you, there is this magnetic attraction towards you they can't ignore. They want you to be able to depend on them, and care for you. Their higher self does want to warn you to be careful of falling into deep obsession and hiding it, they want you to focus on broadening your horizons with knowledge instead💡🥰 Their higher self hopes you can keep running towards your goals and make it to the top!🔝🎉✨️ You can do it pile 1 and their higher self believes in you. They feel so much love and care towards you, they see you as something so pure and gentle that must be protected by them.😩👏💓 They feel you are the "only one of your kind" so maybe you're different than the people around you, family or your cultural background. Pile 1 this person is cheering for you so hard! Their higher self is supporting you every step of the way and that is so adorable and sweet I'm gonna cry🥹💗

💌Messages from them: Hug me, We have a past together, I can't tell you, This happens every time, Can we be together? Thinking of you, It's so hard to resist you, I wanna steal your kiss (Hug me then I wanna steal your kiss CUTE😖😫💗💞💓) Extra cards: Melody, My everything, Corner, End, Autumn, Cancer, 8th house, Gemini, Eros, 2nd house (You are their everything pile 1!!! Their higher self desires you so much, they are here for you!🫂💗)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🌊🩷

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the emoji~ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 2🪼

Sign energy: 5th house, Material, Dance, Violate, Foreign country, Saturn, South node, Sun, Mercury, 11th house,💍🏃‍♂️‍➡️🔊💀

🩷Your person's energy: Wow so pile 2 this is interesting your person is a very unique individual🤭 Sun energy just jumped out first thing from your person, they have a powerful presence about them! There is Capricorn, Leo, Virgo, Gemini and Aquarius energy here.✨️ Could have 5th house placements, Sun-Mercury conjuct or aspected, Sun or Mercury in 11th house those are some placements I'm picking up on for some of my pile 2's person.💞 I personally love that energy so it makes me want to assume they're automatically really attractive to you guys!😩🫶 I just knowwww lol. They could speak a different language than you, or learning one just for fun.😁💬 For some of you this person is from a foreign country, others they are just simply interested in other cultures and languages.💗 I feel like your person is very reliable and stable with money, they may work hard and it's giving husband/wife material💲💍✨️ There is something creative they like to do, could be dancing or something artistic for a hobby or work. Oh for some of my pile 2's this person has a dancing career. With the sound emoji and mercury coming through, maybe a singer for some of you too.🎤🎼 They could be an investor or entrepreneur or that's something that they would be good at. Some of you may have had a past with this person, there could have been problems surrounding boundaries or barriers in communication.🔇🚫 Your person is very successful and far from ordinary, they have a lot of worth👑🥰 I'm picking up on another scenario for some of my pile 2's, who this could have been a short romamce kinda thing. So the passion started out strong with this person and it may feel like it ended as quick as it started, so the romance with this person may have fell flat.💔 For others your person is not in contact with you. Some of you may be manifesting them, manifesting marriage even.🫢💭 Your person could be chasing their dreams and ambitions for their career, they are very talented and focused.🌟 They have a lot of passion, also come off flirty and smooth. They do shine and I think they have very high standards. They could be running away from something, possibly commitment.😬 They give a busy vibe too, they may tell themselves they don't have time for a long term romantic partner.

💎How their higher self feels about you: Cage, Drop, True, Comfort zone, Chaos, Fire, 4th house, Gemini, 3rd house, 10th house,🎧🪫🫡☹️ I think their higher self is a little worried about you, as they have a perspective on how everything is playing out.😭 They feel you are very hyperactive and hard to contain, they know you think of them a lot...😳 You appear a bit chaotic in the eyes of their higher self, they may see potential problems surrounding around you and their reputation or career.💼👤 Aw but this is so sweet they would drop everything for you pile 2, because you are like home.🏠💗 Their higher self find you sweet and caring as much as energetic and fun. They wanna hold your hand😫🤝 I'm kinda getting like a shark cage imagery you know when it drops into the water and that can seem scary, your person's higher self sees you in that cage and they want to keep you safe. Maybe they represent the cage, not to trap or contain you but to protect you and keep anything harmful away from pile 2.🥺💕 Okay so your voice gives them so much comfort, they love hearing you speak and if they had your voice on recording they would drain their battery so much just from listening to your voice LOL that's what I'm seeing with them.😂 You could be going through a hard time with your professional/public life, there could be rumors about you or things feel very unorganized and problematic.😵‍💫 Your person's higher self has a lot of empathy for you, I can picture them so sad just thinking about what you're going through. Their higher self misses you if you're apart, they feel everything is moving too fast. Some of you moved away from this person, their higher self feels the time is running out.⏳️😢 You are like a true best friend to them, I'm also getting even though you make them feel comfortable I think their uptight nature is challenged by your seemingly unpredictability. Everything feels new with you, they are faced with things they aren't used to or questions they never had before.💬 They are on the edge of their seat with you sometimes I'm hearing. Their higher self may feel like you are a handful, but they're willing to free their hands just for you.🩷 I think there is just a lot going on for you both in 3D and they know it's a tough situation with you.😞🌧 But they want to give you comfort from their higher self, and they would hold you in their arms if they could.💞😭 They definitely wish to communicate and talk with you my pile 2's. They want you to know it's going to be alright, and all the bad things that are keeping you from smiling will soon dissolve. They would give you head pats OMG pile 2 their higher self is really there for you, they just really wanna keep you safe.🫂🥹💗

💌Messages from them: Tell me more, Your fantasies are achievable, I wish I had you, You have so much worth, I want to comfort you, I'm going to steal your heart, You make me look bad, I was wrong (YES pile 2 they want to comfort you as said and they wanna hype you up!!👏🥰💗) Extra cards: Unrequited love, Hands, Purpose, Chains, Cutie, Sun, 1st house, Juno, Air, Leo (They don't want you to be held back from what you can achieve!! Also they really wanna hold you😫✊️ You have a purpose in their life and they do in yours, likely commitment!! They think you're cute😉 And a little something else but it's not that type of reading~😏)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🌊🩷

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the jellyfish emoji~🪼 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 3⚪️

Sign energy: Care taker, To the grave, Prediction, Maturity, Jealousy, 5th house, Leo, 2nd house, Gemini, Saturn,🌃✍️✌️💐

🩷Your person's energy: Okay pile 3 this is someone responsible and sweet, physically your person is really eye-catching and appealing.😘💕👀 They could be a bit older than you, or that is just the vibe they give off. Mature, caring and very polished💅 There are significant 2nd and 5th house placements in their chart, Leo, Taurus, Gemini, and Capricorn energy. I am getting a mostly masculine vibe, just because they are quite stable and efficient.✨️ They give off some feminine aura too. You could be intimidated by this person's presence, status or maturity. They just come off like they know what they're doing.😩 The vibe they give others is like untouchable. Lol They look like they mean business I'm hearing lol, they could have capricorn mercury or mercury-saturn, mercury in earth sign or 10th house those are some aspects take what resonates.🤗 They are quite commanding and naturally authoritative, their neck is also something very attractive😳 I'm hearing "dictator", feel like this person looks like they have a lot of money, they spend well💸💰😍 Also they put pride and effort into their appearance, they're big on self care. They are a wise thinker and can plan ahead nicely.⌚️⏳️💭 Pile 3 your person is HOT😭 They're just so snazzy, they could be a writer for some of you. Also night owl, they could enjoy journaling at night before bed. For some of my pile 3's they're in the entertainment industry, director, producer, brand ambassador or business owner. Those could be things they're interested in starting as side gigs/hobbies omg something really impressive okay lol😍 They could be a singer for some of my pile 3's. They could like to invest, also their time is an investment I'm hearing.✨️ AH pile 3 your person also has such a romantic smooth side, like they can win you over so easily with their words😩💋 I'm seeing that a lot of people want to take from this person, your person has a hesitation to give to others and they find it hard to trust. They're like in their own spotlight so they could have a lot of people jealous of what they have, some more harmful than others😬 Your person could have a hidden/secret hobby, could be writing, something that helps them settle down in calm and quiet. also they have a specific scent or perfume/cologne. They are not only phsyically attractive but also mentally too.🧠👀

💎How their higher self feels about you: Words, Activity, Past, 9th house, Throne, Eros, Cancer, Sun, 9th house, 2nd house,😬🧯🫗👏 Okay so 9th house came out twice lol there could have been a lot of spontaneity within this connection, their higher self may have seen it as something unstable or costly. I think they feel very uncertain about you, because on one hand they find you very charming, but also difficult to manage.😳 Some of you could be cancer sun or cancer placements. They see you as someone very soft and sensitive, with the cup spilling their higher self sees you as someone with many emotions.😢💗 They could feel like you are too giving, which is a reflection of their own fear of giving too much. You appear very different from them at first glance, but you both share similarities aswell.👥️ Your person's higher self has an admiration for your sensual beauty and they kinda put you on a pedestal tbh😏👑💞 They feel very drawn to your sweet and calming aura, they also feel you are someone of very high worth. You feel precious to them, and they would pay anything for you if you had a price tag😭🏷💖 Their higher self knows how much you care about this connection and that really touches their heart.🫶 But I think the thing is, they are quick to defuse these feelings you give them. And they prefer to keep a distance from it, mostly because their higher self does not want to pour their heart out more than they should. They are very cautious and considering the possible outcomes from these feelings.💭 Ah but the things you say really turn them on honestly😩❤️‍🔥 Their higher self is really good at resisting, but it seems like you make them waver. You're like that really expensive and high quality item on sale that they can't ignore.😘 I love that they see you as something precious, because this pile is represented by the pearl!⚪️💕✨️ I think if there was an unpleasant situation in the past, they have worked past it with you. Their higher self feels a little bad, because you may give so much of your energy and they wish to give you the same in return. They want to pay you back for your love and/or kindness to them.💗🔙 Their higher self almost feels like a charity case to you, and may feel bad if you pity them ever or from caring about them for whatever reason. You radiate a beautiful soft aura and it definitely has them curious.💭 Your person's higher self feels inclined to treat you like royalty, they think you're really classy😉✨️ I think they see you as a loyal and kind person, and feel drawn to you physically as well as emotionally. They may worry about their power or status if they fall for you too much, afraid of letting their guard down for someone. They have a lot of respect for you, I'm picturing them slowly clapping for you like a sophisticated individual at a classy event.👌🥂✨️ Their higher self feels as you are on the same status as them, and that makes them both intrigued and concerned. They are uneasy with someone matching their level, and they may not know how to approach you. They're worried that their superior presence won't phase you.😧🙊 You are just so valuable to them, admirable and lovely💞💕💗

💌Messages from them: Things didn't go as planned, I can't hide it from you, I don't want to decieve you, You make me mad, I wish I could, I wish I could stop thinking if you, I would kill for you, You're wrong (Haha things didn't go as planned and yeah they're such a planner like mentioned before so this is just freaking them out😭 They have a knack for investing and they do NOT wanna miss out on a limited deal which is pile 3!!!😍💓 They could be at a loss for words or repeating themselves a lot, because they are just so stuck on this situation🥺💭) Extra cards: Ability, Tongue, Beginning, Let go, Intense, Aquarius, Aries, North node, Eros (Ohh we really have some spicy energy here. Intense passion and aggression from your person.🥵 Not that type of reading but you can head over to one of my spicy pacs for that!!!🫢)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🌊🩷

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the pearl emoji~⚪️ (actually just a white orb lol) Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Pile 4🐋

Sign energy: Restaurant, Childhood, Acceptance, February, Last, Earth, 1st house, Pisces, Air, Water, North node, 4th house, 10th house, South node, Saturn,🆓️🤷‍♂️🏖☀️

🩷Your person's energy: There is a lot of summer/beach vibes in this pile! Your person has a lot of bright vibes🥰 This could be someone some of you know from childhood, but I think your person's past is significant to their personality. They could be born in february or that is a significant month, signs that came out are Pisces, Cancer and Capricorn. Air, earth and water sign energy, there is also sun symbolism so Leo placements are also possible. They could have saturn in 4th house, pisces in 10th house, or earth rising. They could live in a coastal region, or interested in those locations.🏝🛶💗 Your person may not have the best self esteem, they also don't have a very solid reputation. They could own a restaurant or love to eat out.🥗 For many of my pile 4's this is a water sun, but not for everyone in this pile. They could have bad a strict or limiting childhood, I'm hearing "lack of freedom"😭 Your person is on the inside artistic and sensitive but they may have restricted that behavior from themselves when they were younger. Maybe they couldn't really express themselves to their family.😢👤🚫 They don't have confidence in their identity because of how they grew up, they could have felt unaccepted or unacknowledged for the real them. I think they have become so positive and bright despite the odds!🥺💞 This person could be from an island, also I am really getting heavy hawaii energy from this pile lol that may resonate for some here😂💫 This person is often confused and feels like they lack direction. They hide their feelings. They may have not had enough stability when they were younger, so that is something they are working towards having themselves.🥹 They have such a comforting and welcoming presence about them, but it doesn't come for free I'm hearing. This person may be hesitant to easily trusting anyone, they really have to make sure you are a safe person. Because they can be taken advantage of if they aren't careful😭🫂 I feel like people never believed in them enough! They are so sweet and have so much to offer, they are a hidden gem💎💕 For some of my pile 4's this person acts oblivious, or just doesn't notice things much. They could be a bit childish, or wish they could be like a kid again. They are very funloving🌟 I feel like this person is just sort of stumbling through life trying to find their place and where they belong🥺💗

💎How their higher self feels about you: Zoo, Prince, 7th house, Happiness, Consume, 6th house, 1st house, Jupiter, 5th house, Fire,🍫🛫♑️🥗 OHH pile 4 you are in for a wonderful surprise!!! (Unless you already know it😉) Your person's higher self sees you as a romantic partner, you literally bring them a ton of happiness like it's in the cards!😍💓 This is so sweet, you make them feel better instantly. There is so much love and passion for you, their higher self feels like you are so nice and dependable, you are a stable source of happiness for them🥺❤️ Also their higher self feels like this is a very healthy connection you two share, you are nothing but good for them! They think you're so sweet, and also consumable😳 I won't go into detail since it's not that type of reading BUT, let's just say there is a lot of physical attraction from them. They can't get enough of you❤️‍🔥 They want a taste of you y'know....😉 It's kinda naughty of them. Besides that! Their higher self feels like you complete them, you make them wild honestly. They feel so lucky that you exist, and wanna work so hard for you😫✊️ Their higher self feels so much passion and romantic feelings for you, their emotions just off like a flight.✈️ They may want to travel with you. Pile 4 you make them smile so much omg it's so cute💗!!! Their higher self thinks and even overthinks about being in a relationship with you, there is such an urge to date you. You make them feel looked at as something worthy, also they really want what's best for you. You are so sweet to them, and they are just so charmed by you😭❤️‍🔥 I'm hearing "fly away with me" they wanna go so far with you. Another thing I'm seeing is your person really wants to eat out with you😆🥪🍵 They wish to experience so much with you guys, like they wanna make sure you're theirs too💍😭🩷 All they want is to see you smile. The may want to visit a zoo with you aswell, I see many fun trips they wanna take you on🥰 Their higher self sees you as their person, they think you're so pretty and lovely. They would do anything to make you happy that is WHAT IM HEARING😭💗

💌Messages from them: Would I be asking for too much? Think of the things that make you happy, You'll do anything, I want to please you, Your eyes are beautiful, You will find happiness, You should smile more, I am your future (Omg🥰😍💞 Pile 4 they love your smile, honestly there is so much love in this pile it is so sweet!😭) Extra cards: Cage, Matching, Bad habit, Past, Comfort zone, Gemini, North node, 9th house, 10th house, Earth (They feel like you guys just FIT together, and you literally heal wounds from their past, you make them feel so safe pile 4 their higher self absolutely loves you with all their heart.🫂)

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🌊🩷

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the whale emoji~🐋 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💞

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[qqueenofhades]

I am FULLY ONBOARD the Harris/Waltz train, tho before this i was leaning towards Mark Kelly (AZ is a swing state! He's an ASTRONAUT!) If you want or have time, no pressure, but any thoughts on what makes Waltz a better pick?

I like Mark Kelly too, and since he's married to Gabby Giffords (having run for public office after she got shot and could no longer do so) he would have been an amazing pick in terms of supporting the first female POTUS. But he is a less charismatic public speaker than Walz (for whatever that's worth, but politics is a mess of Aesthetics and Vibes that matter as much and/or more than actual facts) and more moderate/conservative. He's been a great senator and picking him would defuse some of the BORDER IMMIGRATION BLAH BLAH!!! scaremongering that Republicans love to run on, but it would also leave open the possibility of losing a special election and other dangers with the Democratic senate that we really need to minimize. So Walz is a better choice for that alone, but also:

He really has serious progressive credentials as governor, even if he was a fairly mainstream Democrat (who flipped a rural red House district in Minnesota that Democrats have not been able to win again after he left) during his 12 years in the House. This is an INCOMPLETE LIST of what he was able to do in two years with a one-seat Democratic majority in Minnesota:

A Climate Action Plan that included:

Investing in energy infrastructure

100% carbon-free electricity by 2040 goal

Transition off of fossil fuels and onto clean energy resources

Building more electric vehicle charging stations

Providing funding to help workers acquire new skills through apprenticeship programs in clean energy fields

Direct state funding for transit

Money for rail

Tax credit for e-bikes

Permitting form to fast-track clean energy projects

And that was in addition to:

Codified abortion access in Minnesota

Guaranteed paid sick time and paid family and medical leave

Funded replacing ALL LEAD PIPES IN THE STATE

Free school breakfasts and lunches for all

Made public college free

Stronger labor protections

Drivers’ Licenses for All

Voting Rights Act to reverse recent court rulings that make voting harder, including restored voting rights to convicted felons

Banning medical debt from credit bureaus

The "Taylor Swift Bill" requiring all ticket "junk fees" be shown up front

Banning most "junk fees"

No book bans

Protection for tipped workers

Banned non-competes

Legalized recreational cannabis

Gun control, including increased penalties for straw purchases of firearms, expanded background checks and enacted red-flag laws, passing gun safety measures that the GOP has thwarted for years

Made MN a Trans Refuge State, and required health plans to cover “medically necessary gender-affirming care.”

Pay increase for Uber and Lyft drivers

Elimination of the so-called “gay panic defense”

A ban on “doxxing” election workers

A prohibition on “swatting” elected officials

In March, during the height of the Gaza/uncommitted primary protests against Biden, Walz said that young people should be listened to and they had a right to be speaking up and the situation in Gaza was horrible and intolerable, without directly slamming Biden or getting involved in the issue in a way to draw negative headlines. Regardless of what you think about any of it, that is a very deft way to handle it and pairs well with Kamala's better responsiveness on the Gaza issue overall. That was a big part of the reason why Gen Z/younger voters were very excited about Walz despite him being an "old" (actually the same age as Kamala but he has joked that teaching high school for 20 years will do that to a guy) white guy. If half the battle in politics is making the right pick to excite your core voters and reach out to new ones, then Harris nailed it. As I have said in earlier posts, there was just too much energy with young voters FINALLY checking in when Harris became the candidate, to risk introducing a big ideological split with Shapiro.

Aside from that: the most insufferable Smart White-Bro Political Pundits (TM) are big mad about Walz, many Never Trumper Republicans thought they were entitled to a "moderate" in exchange for oh-so-generously lending us their vote against Trump and not run the risk that we might end up with someone *gasp* progressive, and the regular MAGA Republicans are hysterical, which means they're terrified. It's also incredibly hard to paint Literal Midwestern Stereotype Dad (football coach, social studies high school teacher, military veteran, etc) as THE EVIL END OF AMERICA in the way they desperately want to do, though the fact that they're trying shows that they've got literally nothing. The fact that Kamala picked Walz against the PREVAILING WISDOM!!! that she had to take Shapiro (for whatever reason that might have been) is also a good sign, because by far the most genuine and extensive enthusiasm that I have seen from Democratic voters, especially those feeling burned out or disillusioned or angry with specific policy choices of the current administration, was for Walz. Having everyone excited for the pick beforehand, effectively using the "weird" line, and rallying behind the guy, only for her to actually go for him, is inspiring. It makes people feel like they're being heard and the Democrats have decided to win by being progressive, and not just endlessly Catering To The (Imaginary) Middle as they have always been told to do (and often done). That alone is MASSIVE.

Walz is tremendously funny, personable, has Democrats from AOC to Joe Manchin praising it (again, shocking), was right out the gate supporting Kamala, has already been majorly successful on TV, was by far the most progressive-on-policy picks of the VP finalists, is incredibly, hilariously wholesome and small-town Midwestern (he's the JD Vance that they wish JD Vance was), and is already sending ActBlue gangbusters with donations again. And when you're getting this kind of response on the Cursed Bird Hellsite, just:

Just. I don't know what's happening either. But let's enjoy it, and then work hard, because we gotta fucking do this and for possibly the first time this entire year, I really think we might. Heck yeah.

[notapradagurl7]

When He’s Not There.

Black! Fem!Wife! Reader x Terrence

Fandom: Foe (2023) Movie.

Summary: In 2036, you reside in a high-tech home with your wealthy husband, Arlo. One night, a striking 6'3" stranger named Terrence, representing a company focused on off-Earth habitation, arrives. While he engages Arlo in conversation, while your husband is away, you find yourself alone in the kitchen, preparing dinner. Visited by him.

Word Count: 4697k

Taglist: @megamindsecretlair @satoruya @planetblaque @playgurlxoxo @babybratzmaraj @becauseimswagman1 @superheroprincess22 @pocketsizedpanther @beenathembo @brattyfics @hxneyclouds @yassbishimvintage @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @nayaesworld @ovohanna24 @novahreign @writingsbytee @avoidthings @kimuzostar @slippinninque @keyera-jackson @theblacklewinsky @euphorichappiness10 @life-in-the-slut-house @miguelspvssy @liatreads @kaylaahisthebestest- @tforpresz @dxddykenn

A/N: I want to step out of my writing comfort zone but anyway, Don't forget to leave a like, comment & reblog to support, or you can always ask for a request Enjoy!❤️

Warnings: +18, dirty talk, praise, cheating, consensual for both parties, fingering, oral,(fem receiving) angst, teasing, an intimidating Terrence, risky sex in the living room, neglectful husband, strange questions about marital issues, profanity, p in v, jealousy, masochist Terrence, BDSM, unprotected sex.

————-

The moonlight peeked through the bedroom window and you groaned out of your peaceful sleep, once you heard a knock on the front door. You quickly stood with your husband Arlo from the bed, you grabbed the rifle from the side of your dresser in your high-tech home.

You heard a woman's computerized voice on the small holographic screen resting on the dresser, “You have a visitor at midnight, Terrence,” 

Your mom taught you how to shoot properly when you were thirteen, she wasn't too fond of Arlo when you got married too early, he’s been neglecting you and he’s been working full time at his CEO corporate job.

“Who the fuck is knocking on my door at this time of night?” Arlo grumbled lowly, groaning a bit with his raspy voice.

“It's probably that man from the off-earth habitation company sweetheart,” You mumbled back, rubbing the traces of sleep from your brown eyes.

Arlo’s face twisted up at the words “man,” he slid on his black tee shirt and pulled up his grey loose pants, zipping them up. Running a hand through his tiny curled afro, the lamp light glistened on his brown skin. 

You’d almost forgotten that you were sent a letter from a company for Off-Earth habitation aka living in space, it was sent to your husband instead. It was quite strange.

“You’ve talked to the man before? What's his name then?” Arlo barked, squinted at you, his brows furrowing in suspicion. 

“Terrence, I think, He’s got this whole mysterious vibe going on. keep it cool, okay? I’ll handle it.” you replied, gripping the rifle tightly, your heart racing.

Arlo rolled his eyes, but you could see the tension in his shoulders. “You know how I feel about these corporations trying to buy more of my money when I updated everythin’ We’ve built this life here, babe. I'm the husband, I’ll handle it,” He shot back, crossing his arms.

You stepped closer to him, the warmth of his body grounding you and rubbed his shoulder. “I know, I know. But we can’t just ignore him. If he’s here, it’s for a reason.”

Arlo sighed, clearly still annoyed but resigned. “Fine, let’s just see what he wants. And give me that gun please,” he said gently, you passed it to him.

Arlo was given this flourishing high-tech home from his grandparents through inheritance, the house adorned with the latest technological advancements, and sleek light green furniture that blended minimalist aesthetics with comfort.

The walls were a crisp white, reflecting the soft glow of the advanced smart lighting that adjusted to your mood. There were pictures of animated art, abstract and vibrant, that hinted at your creativity and love for color, scattered thoughtfully throughout the living space.

The kitchen, where you spent most of your time, was outfitted with glossy black counters and stainless steel appliances that seemed to hum with energy.

You had a deep love for cooking, and the aroma of spices often lingered in the air, a testament to the meals you prepared for Arlo, even if he hardly appreciated them.

The décor spoke of old-world charm fused with modern aesthetics—a plush, deep green couch dominated the spacious living room, framed by small windows covered by velvet sage green curtains that overlooked the overgrown garden, the moon casting silver light over the wildflowers. The television hung on the right side of the wall, facing the couch.

You could hear the distant hum of the self-driving car parked outside, a reminder of the future you both lived in, yet felt so distant from. It turned off immediately.

You both valued a futuristic lifestyle, but it turned dull and ordinary while you worked as a librarian's assistant.

The library had always been your refuge since childhood, where you, the nerdy black girl, found joy in books, technology, the arts. It was in the canned goods aisle that you captured your husband’s attention through a chat about books and what to find the best spices, you liked to cook food.

There were self-driving cars available, and clearly, your husband purchased one to stay updated with the latest technology.

As you and Arlo approached the front door, the tension in the air was palpable. Your heart pounded, a mix of excitement and unease fluttering in your chest. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself before Arlo opened the door.

There stood Terrence, a man who seemed to command the space around him. At 6’3”, his presence filled the doorway, and the white moonlight highlighted the sharp angles of his jaw and the confident glint in his eyes.

Terrence undoubtedly caught your attention, but as a married woman, you knew your husband often grew suspicious whenever another man approached you.

He could be both protective and jealous at times. Arlo was 6'0", which you found appealing, particularly since you had a preference for tall black men.

He was dressed in a collared half buttoned white shirt with a black jacket that accentuated his broad shoulders, he carried an air of authority that made it hard to look away. His black hair styled in tiny curles.

His green eyes seemed like they were pierced through your soul, reading your deepest secrets and fears in one stare. His muscles bunched through his clothes, and you could tell that he was committed to the gym. Damn.

“Good evening, I hope I’m not disturbing you.” he greeted smoothly, his voice deep and inviting, with a hint of curiosity, there was a British accent included.

Arlo’s face shifted instantly, suspicion etching deeper lines on his forehead. “You are, What do you want?” he asked brusquely, crossing his arms defensively.

“I’m here on behalf of the off-Earth habitation company. I wanted to discuss the proposal we sent your way, Arlo Stark and Y/N Stark right?” Terrence replied, his gaze flickering to you, and for a brief moment, you felt an electric charge pass between you.

“You know our names already? Even my wife’s name? Terrence right?” Arlo asked in suspension, placing the rifle at the corner of the room. His deep brown eyes reflected with anger flickered between you and Terrence for the umpteenth time.

You sighed annoyingly, it felt like a farrago of unwanted stuff piled up in your basement. “Yes, he does Arlo, this is 2063, you know technology has everything now,” you chimed in.

You stepped forward, trying to diffuse the tension. “We were just surprised to get a visit at this hour. Come in, let’s talk,” you offered, hoping to ease Arlo’s protective stance.

As Terrence entered, you caught a whiff of his cologne—rich and earthy, it lingered in the air like a promise. He glanced around your home, his eyes taking in the details—the art on the walls, the cozy ambiance.

“You have a lovely home,” he remarked, his tone genuine, and you felt your cheeks warm under his gaze.

“Thanks, We’ve put a lot of love into it.” you replied, flustered while rubbing the back of your neck.

Arlo cleared his throat, pulling you back into the moment. “Let’s get to the point. We’re not interested in moving to space, You’ve met my wife before?” he declared, his voice firm.

You could sense the tension; it was like a taut string ready to snap.

Closing the behind him with the three of you walking into the spacious living room and seated yourself on the couch, while Arlo stood beside you, Terrence seated himself on the armchair with a device in his hand.

You flipped the light switch and light of the warm yellow bulbs filled the room with a cozy light, contrasting sharply with the cool moonlight outside.

“Actually, I haven’t had the pleasure, but I’ve heard quite a bit about you, Y/N.” Terrence replied, his gaze lingering on you just a moment too long, igniting a flicker of something in the pit of your stomach.

You shifted slightly, suddenly feeling exposed under his intense scrutiny. “All good things, I hope,” you said, trying to inject some playful banter into the thick air.

“Very much so, Your reputation precedes you,” he replied with reassurance, his voice smooth, drawing your eyes to the way his lips curled into a smirk.

Arlo shifted beside you, the tension radiating off him like heat from a flame. “Let’s focus on why you’re here, we’re not looking to relocate, especially not to some off-Earth colony. We’re happy here.” he interjected, his tone clipped.

Terrence’s demeanor didn’t waver; he remained calm, unbothered. “I understand your hesitance, but I assure you, it’s not as daunting as it seems. This could be an opportunity for you both—”

“An opportunity to leave everything behind? To abandon our lives? I'm the wealthiest CEO in this gotdamn neighborhood, I don't need this,” Arlo countered, his voice rising, fists clenching at his sides.

“This is only a suggestion if you want to live in space, Arlo maybe you would have to prepare to leave your wife alone in this house?” Terrence asked in a firm tone, holding up a device that showed a person walking through a spaceship.

Arlo’s jaw tightened, but you could see the gears shifting in his mind. “Nope, not interested. I've already gotten the update on the self-driving car, the robots aren't in my damn house, and I've updated everything to keep up,” he said in an angry tone, his hand on his hip.

With that, his eyes landed on you, and you could feel the heat radiating off his body. He lowered his voice, “What about you? Are you truly happy?”

Your heart raced as you met his gaze, feeling a magnetic pull towards him. “I…I’m trying to be, I've haven't been happy that much,” you confessed, glancing at Arlo who was still stewing in frustration.

“Sometimes we have to step outside our comfort zone, even for a moment,” Terrence said, an invitation hanging in the air like a promise.

You kept your cool knowing that your husband was watching but you replied, “Who truly knows? I've been happy cooking lately,”

“Thank you for pitching this idea to us, Terrence, we'll see you later okay? Again, not interested in space, we’re more comfortable on Earth,” Arlo brought up.

Arlo walked with Terrence outside toward the self driving car, watching him get in, Arlo crossed his arms with his face still twisted in pure turmoil.

Your husband walked in with relieved face, shaking his head from side to side in disapproval while Terrence gave him a reassuring smile, Arlo’s eyes flickered toward you, but he said with anger.

“Let’s go to sleep, if he comes back then don’t let him in,”

————

You knew that your husband left for work at 5:00 at night, giving you peace and quiet throughout the day, he worked all night and all day at the his business, you needed days to yourself.

The next morning you woke up to the sun’s salutations, birds chirping and the walls that use be a crisp white, reflecting the soft glow of the advanced smart lighting that adjusted to your mood, suddenly changed to yellow for happiness.

You prepared breakfast for yourself, as the open-concept kitchen glowed with a soft blue light from the smart appliances, casting a serene ambiance that contrasted the warm weather brewing outside.

You glanced at the clock, knowing Arlo would be late again, swallowed by his ambition. Thankfully you didn’t have work today which meant you had a day off, You felt a rush of confidence, your curves fitting perfectly in the form-fitting dress that accentuated your dark brown skin and your curly pixiecut framed your face.

You heard a woman's computerized voice on the small holographic screen resting on the dresser, “You have a visitor at 9:00am, Terrence,”

You hurried your way toward front door, your heart raced, anticipation and nervousness bubbling within you. The memory of Terrence's intense gaze from the night before flooded your thoughts. You took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Good morning, Y/N,” Terrence greeted, his voice smooth as silk, and a charming smile played on his lips. The morning sun highlighted the sharp features of his face, giving him an almost ethereal quality.

“Terrence! What are you doing here?” you asked, feigning surprise, though deep down, you were thrilled to see him again.

“I figured I’d drop by to discuss the proposal further. I know Arlo isn’t here, and I thought it might be a good opportunity for us to chat—just the two of us,” he said, his green eyes sparkling with mischief.

You hesitated for a moment, glancing back at the kitchen where the aroma of freshly cooked breakfast wafted through the air. “Uh, sure, come in,” you finally said, stepping aside to let him enter.

As he stepped into your home, you felt a surge of electricity in the air between you. He looked around appreciatively, his gaze lingering on the decor. “How are you?” he repeated, taking in the cozy ambiance that you had cultivated with care.

“I’m pretty good, I’ve been cooking and had a day off today,” you replied, a smile creeping onto your face.

Terrence stayed behind you, his presence overwhelming yet oddly comforting. “It definitely feels like a home, not just a house. It’s different from the sterile environments of the corporate world.”

You nodded, feeling a strange kinship with him. “I think it’s important to have a space that reflects who you are, especially in a world that’s constantly changing.”

He leaned against the kitchen counter, looking at you with an intensity that made your heart race. “And who are you, Y/N? What do you want?”

You chuckled lightly, feeling a thrill through your breast. “I don’t plan to moving to space, anytime soon so that’s just not talk about that,”

“Would you like something to eat or drink Terrence?” You asked him, your gaze never left his.

Terrence nodded with a smile, “I’d love some coffee, if you have it,” he replied, his gaze never leaving yours as you moved toward the coffee maker.

The soft hum of the machine filled the air, blending with the chirping birds outside and the faint scent of breakfast still lingering in the kitchen.

As you poured the steaming liquid into a mug, you felt the tension from the previous night start to dissipate, replaced by a different kind of electricity.

“So, how did you end up in this line of work? The whole off-Earth thing seems…ambitious,” you asked, trying to keep the conversation flowing, your heart racing with each passing second.

Terrence leaned back against the counter, arms crossed, and a smirk played on his lips. “I’ve always believed in pushing boundaries. Earth is beautiful, but I want to be part of something bigger. The universe is vast, and there’s so much more out there.”

You chuckled softly, handing him the mug. “That’s a bold statement. But what about the people you leave behind? It feels like a big gamble.”

He took a sip, his eyes closing momentarily as he savored the rich flavor. “That’s true. But sometimes, you have to take risks to find what you truly want. Just like you seem to be doing right now,” he said, his gaze piercing through you.

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words. “What do you mean by that?” you asked, feigning innocence, though you knew exactly what he was getting at.

Terrence stepped closer, the space between you shrinking as he leaned against the counter, his voice dropping to a low, sultry tone. “I see the way you move in your own space, how you take care of everything around you. You’re not just a wife; you’re a force. And I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to truly know you.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, the weight of his words settling in your chest. “Terrence, I—”

He interrupted you, his eyes fierce and playful at the same time. “Let me finish. I know Arlo can be… preoccupied, and sometimes it feels like you’re just existing, rather than living. But what if you allowed yourself to explore what makes you feel alive?”

The air grew heavy with unspoken tension, his words wrapping around you like a warm blanket. “What are you suggesting?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, daring yourself to lean closer.

Terrence’s words trailing off, sending shivers down your spine. “I’m suggesting that sometimes, we have to break the rules to find our happiness. What if I could show you a world outside of what you know? Just for a moment?”

Your heart raced, the invitation hanging in the air like a forbidden fruit. “And what would that entail?” you asked, the thrill of the unknown swirling within you.

“Talk to me, what do you really want?” he asked, his voice smooth and alluring.

You felt a rush of excitement and fear. You glanced toward the window, where the sun bathed the room in golden light, reminding you of the life you had built with Arlo.

But a part of you craved adventure, the thrill of stepping outside the lines. “Alright,” you breathed, heart pounding. “Let’s see where this day takes us.”

Terrence’s smile widened, a mix of triumph and desire. “You won’t regret it,” he promised, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Honestly, you were right about some things ya know? When I was younger I wanted to be a cook, have a my own restaurant. Arlo just had to just say that only some businesses fail or succeed,” You admitted with a shoulder shrug.

Terrence agreed with you, “I'm sure you would be very successful with the restaurant, you're an amazing cook. And you can follow those dreams,” He spoke up with reassurance.

You and Terrence talked all day, ate your cooked food while he appreciated everything, something Arlo didn’t do, you got to know the man better than your own husband.

"I always had this plan of running away from this boring life and find out what is out there for me, but I want intimacy from him,” You confessed to him, your eyes on him.

Before you could utter another the smart clock in the house said, “Arlo Stark is on his way home, in 15 minutes,” the AI voice spoke in a woman’s voice, making you flinch for a bit.

Terrence and you stood up from the table, you sighed lowly at the announcement, “I'm sorry for taking much of your time, you better go before my husband sees you. T, you know how he gets,”

Terrence shook your hand gently, and nodded in agreement, “I understand, but the advanced technology with the house, i'm sure that he already knows we're talking,”

You laughed softly and shrugged, then made your way to the front door and opened it. Terrence stepped outside and said goodbye, while Arlo observed from afar before arriving in the driveway in his autonomous vehicle, squinting and gripping the armrest of the comfortable seat.

"I fucking knew it," Arlo grumbled, his eyes flickered toward him and the house, pulled on the door handle, stepped out with ease.

——————

In the following weeks, while you spent time at the library conversing with Terrence instead of being at home, Arlo confronted you about your relationship with him.

He baselessly accused you of infidelity, stealing his money, and abandoning him for Terrence.

It was absurd. Although Terrence was initially a stranger, your thoughts increasingly turned to him, and he was evolving into a potential friend or casual fuck buddy in this context.

Terrence returned to your place late at night once more while you were home alone, unaware that he was also constantly thinking about you. The feelings were reciprocated; what are your next steps?

He sat across from you in the plaid sage green armchair, you sat on the couch prettily with a pink nightgown, only thick socks on since it was very cold in the house floors, regardless of what your husband said to you, you had to follow your desires and Terrence was the answer.

Now Terrence wore a dark gray tee shirt with a matching jacket, sweatpants due to the cold weather outside, your eyes never left his. Your finger brushed a curl over your ear, “Thank you for coming tonight, Terrence, Arlo is still at work, preoccupied with that.”

“Terrence, you’ve been keeping me much company while my husband is away, you know that don’t you?” You asked in innocent like tone, your thumb swiped across his cheek.

Terrence groaned lowly at your words, knowing you were right. Since that night you first met, he wanted you, and you felt the same once you saw him. He had his own fantasies, including the thought of you slowly riding him in various positions, whether in the living room, the self-driving car, or the bedroom.

"Yes, I do. I've wanted to treat you better than Arlo, but you're a married woman and if I—” Terrence spoke up until you interjected.

You shook your head at him in disagreement, silencing his fears and yours as well. “There wasn't nothing between Arlo and I except a loveless marriage, and money, he didn't give me what I wanted, he didn't support my dreams,”

He stood up from the armchair, circled around the table and stood in front of you, your hands gently cupping his attractive face, freshly trimmed bread with his mustache connecting. Pulling him down between your legs, you spread them open for Terrence.

“May I?” Terrence asked you gently, looking up at you with those eyes of his. Kissing your lips passionately, you kissed him back with fervor before pulling away.

“Yes, please, hurry..” You begged him, your hands resting on the armrest of the couch. The walls of the smart house changed to red for lust, matching the mood of both of you.

Terrence carefully raised your nightgown from your voluptuous figure and removed his t-shirt, revealing his toned physique. He admired your gorgeous dark brown skin and your lovely brown pussy that pulsed enticingly for him.

“Such a beautiful pussy,” he moaned, he shoved his thick, long fingers between your folds, and you moaned so slut like, his large hand smacked your ass roughly without mercy.

"Ow, fuckkk!" You cried out, riding out his fingers desperately, your pussy sucked his fingers back in.

“Look at you, swallowing my fingers with that pussy like a good slut,” Terrence groaned with a subtle rasp, thrusting his fingers in and out of you.

With your consent, he tied your wrists together carefully and with skill, you hitched a bit from the rope. He continued to push his fingers into you, leaving you breathless and trembling. He took some pink furry handcuffs from the dresser, giving you a sly smile, and you agreed with a nod. "Can I?"

"Yes you can,"

His hand rested on the small of your stomach, pushing you down on the soft mattress and smacking your ass roughly again, he grabbed his thick dick and pushed himself inside from the back, “OH FUCK! Terrence!” you cried out with desperate moans, rolling your hips.

“Fuck me, baby.”

With your consent, Terrence sensually glided his dick between your wet folds, you savored every inch as he groaned from the tightness of your slick walls. “Fuck, Terry.” she breathed, your eyes darken with lust.

He firmly grasped your waist, propelling his hips forward. "Open your eyes," he grunted, his brows furrowing in unwavering focus. Slowly, your eyelids fluttered open, locking their gazes passionately. 

Bliss surged through him as the tip of his dick tenderly kissed her cervix, eliciting a hushed groan.

"That's it, let me admire that beautiful face," he praised, causing you to surrender, your head falling back onto the plush pillow. Each thrust stole your breath away, leaving your yearning for more.

His hands cupped your breasts and rolled his fingers around your erect nipples with slow circles. Each tug and pinch from between his fingers made your whine in pure bliss.

“Oh shit—right there!” You chanted in pleasure, your voice increased in pitch. Your legs tightly wrapped around his waist, you sought to feel him deeper, enveloping his dick with your walls.

The intense sensation caused your essence to flow and perfectly coat him, resulting in euphoric screams of pleasure. As he trailed a path of kisses and hickies along your collarbone, the passion between them intensified.

It was if Terrence still knew which spots to get to whenever he was in the moment with you, “Right here baby?” he whispered in your ear, his teeth biting down on your earlobe. 

“Ever since I saw move in with your husband and we locked eyed, I knew that I wanted you, wanted to know every part of you. It was the right time to come back to you.” 

Terry's speed increased as he thrusts passionately and roughly, accompanied by the sound of their skin colliding echoing through the bedroom and the creaking of the bed beneath them.

“Don't you know how much I wanted you baby?” he grunted lowly, pecking her cheek. Her nails left welts on his shoulder blades as his fingers roughly pinched her clitoris. You ecstatically cried out as he penetrated her deeper, while he gently sucked on her nipple and flicked it with his tongue, causing it to harden.

“Yes!–I-i wanted you too—fuck!” You panted, made eye contact with Terrence once more, causing her eyes to roll back and she was certain that her soul had left her body and returned to her. An overwhelming sensation of pleasure washed over her repeatedly.

You experienced an intense orgasm that overwhelmed your like a powerful wave, causing your body and legs to shake uncontrollably around his waist. "i-i'm cumming-fuck!" you keened, holding his face tenderly in your hands and pulled him closer, engaging in a passionate kiss.

You fervently kissed him, muffling her moans in the process, "Let it out, baby.." he praised, while her stomach tied up in knots as Terrence continued thrusting a few more times. 

Her essence gushed around Terrence's dick, evoking an appreciative moan from him as he gently pulled out from you. "That's my girl," he softly uttered. he praised, pecked your lips twice.

Your bare figure trembled beneath him after the powerful climax, making you breathing unsteady. Terrencr positioned himself above you and then shifted beside You, both of them breathing heavily and sharing a light laughter.

“You good baby?” he asked in concern. His forehead rested against yours. 

“Yeah, I-I’m good..” You muttered softly, their skin sparkled with sweat. They turned their heads towards each other, exchanging a smile.

After that, he carried you into the bathroom, he ran you a hot bath and quickly cleaned up the mess, you washed up once Terrence gets dressed quickly, he kissed your lips tenderly. "I'll see you tommorw?"

"Yes, you will,"

The both of you were secreting longing, pining for each other, you heard him left the house and grabbed the furry handcuffs, closing the door while you were left with pleasure, a plan roamed your mind but you finished cleaning up. You were still gonna see the man without shame.

—————

[im-subtextsexual]

I’m glad so many people picked up on the vibes between Eloise and Cressida. Not a ship I ever considered before, but the tension was palpable. I’ve been a Queer Eloise truther since reading the books. Her portrayal on the show only made it more obvious in my mind. I didn’t think the writers would ever go there, but the set up is just so explicit, now I’m not sure. I don’t think they’d actually make Eloise / Cressida canon, but I do think they’re testing the waters for wlw Eloise. And it makes perfect sense. 

First off, the character is queer (I’ll hold off from labeling her a lesbian outright, because there’s definitely room for other identities like bi, demi, ace…. etc.) Even in the books. I legitimately think Julia Quinn accidentally wrote a sapphic character and then didn’t know what to do with her. So what we got is “To Sir Phillip, With Love”, widely considered to be one of the worst in the series. Believe me, if there’s any story that could stand to deviate from the books, it’s this one. And the story could so easily be adapted to a wlw romance, it would be a wasted opportunity not to do it. Like… the story would be better if they tweaked it to fit a queer canon. AND it could be done in a historically accurate way to shut up the naysayers that “a lesbian storyline wouldn’t fit in this universe.” How? Allow me to explain.

*SPOILERS FOR BRIDGERTON SERIES BOOK 5*

In the book, Eloise strikes up a correspondence with Sir Phillip Crane. Yes, THAT Phillip, the one currently married to Marina from season 1&2. Marina kills herself because she can’t stand to be married to Phillip and deal with their children in the wake of her lover / his brother’s death. His initial interest in Eloise is to find a mother for his children. She is intrigued by his intelligence and decides she doesn't want to be alone, but isn’t necessarily eager to marry or have a family. Due to romance novel shenanigans, she runs away to Phillip's house and is forced to marry him. Even as they grow to kind of love each other, it's far from some grand romance. It’s the very definition of “settling”. The most interesting part is the narrative structure of their story being told through letters in the beginning. We could keep all that, but make it gay. 

*Imagine*

Eloise meets some dapper gentlemen new to the marriage mart. We’ll call him Emmett. Very little is known about Emmett and his family as they keep largely to themselves at their estate in the countryside. The only thing that’s widely known is the family suffered a tragic accident where the man of the house and his oldest daughter died, leaving his son (the other twin) to take on the responsibility of rank and title very early. Emmet is making a rare appearance in London to find a wife (there are rumors of stipulations in his inheritance requiring a match). ALL the debutantes are fawning over him because he’s mysterious and extraordinarily good-looking. One might even say “pretty”… To everyone’s great surprise the season’s most eligible bachelor takes a special interest in Eloise after overhearing her talking about her disdain for the social convention of marriage, and how she would only consider it if it were an in-name-only, marriage of convenience. Emmett strikes up a conversation with Eloise and she is taken by his humor, wit and shockingly deep empathy for the limitations society puts on women. They continue to gravitate to each other through the first few events of the season, but Emmett has to return home suddenly because of a family emergency. Eloise is shocked to find herself disappointed, but they promise to write. Cue the correspondence romance.

Eloise grows more and more smitten with Emmett every letter she receives, but still has the same reservations about marriage especially when she thinks of the intimacy a relationship like that would require. When Emmett hints that he may want more than friendship, Eloise's feelings get the better of her and she goes to visit Emmett unannounced. He is shocked to see her, but let's her stay and she gets to know his mother and two younger sisters. The Bridgertons go looking for Eloise, worried something has happened to her. When she is found to have been staying for days in an unwed man's home without a chaperone, the potential scandal causes Anthony to force Eloise and Emmett to marry. Surprisingly, Emmett actually agrees so Eloise does too (all of this is essentially what happens in the book).

Eloise confesses to Emmett that she's nervous/resistant to physical intimacy, but he assures her they never have to be together that way. In fact, he would prefer the marriage of convenience they always talked about. Eloise is relieved until their kiss at the wedding sparks an attraction she wasn't expecting. They spend the first month or so of their marriage sleeping in separate rooms, enjoying each other's company, and letting the tension build. One night, Eloise's control and curiosity finally snaps and she goes to Emmett's room to initiate a physical relationship. She catches Emmett off guard in his sleeping clothes which makes it VERY clear... Emmett is a woman (cliffhanger of episode 4, and where we deviate from book canon to make it queer).

After the initial shock, Eloise allows her new "husband" to explain. Emmett is really Emma, the daughter believed to have died in a carriage accident with her father so many years ago. It was her twin brother that actually died, but since there were no other male heirs, Emma's family fortune would have gone to a distant uncle who is cruel and abusive. To save them of that fate, Emma's mother conspired with the local coroner to make it look like Emma was the one who died, so "Emmett" could inherit everything. Emma has been living as Emmett ever since, successfully keeping up the deception by keeping a low profile in society. The only reason Emma came to London that year is because her uncle died, and a cousin had come around asking questions hoping to inherit. She thought getting married would help secure her identity as Emmett and the cousin would back off. At first Eloise is outraged. She feels betrayed by Emma's duplicity, and is terrified if any of this ever got out everyone they know would be ruined forever. She agrees to keep the secret to save her family's reputation, but shuns Emma. Eventually, Emma (already aware that she's in love with Eloise) attempts to make amends and Eloise is charmed enough that she relaxes back into the relationship they had before the Big Reveal. The only problem is the attraction is still there, even more so now that Eloise knows the truth. Things come to a head, and they go at it Bridgerton style.

Emma and Eloise live happily in a true marriage for a bit until Cressida and Penelope come for a visit. They both find out about Emma, but are sworn to secrecy. Pen easily swears her loyalty (having already suspected Eloise), but Cressida is sickened. In a rage, she threatens to out them all, and storms back to London. Eloise follows her and begs Cressida to keep the secret, and tries to explain why the "wrong" feelings she has for Emma are very right for her. To Eloise's surprise, Cressida isn't upset about what she's doing with Emma, but who she's doing it with. She didn't know what they're doing was an option; that she was an option. Cressida confesses that if she'd known a life with Eloise was a choice she could make, it's the life she would have chosen. Eloise lets Cressida down easy by explaining they didn't have that choice. Everyone in the ton knows who they are. The only reason her relationship with Emma works is because of the ruse that allows Emma to be Emmett. Cressida takes this in stride, and vows to keep the secret, but her mother overhears and causes the biggest scandal London Society has ever seen.

The Bridgertons and a few friends (like Lady Danbury) are as understanding as possible, but the rest of the ton is rabid. Things escalate to the point where Emma and Eloise have to appear before the Queen. Emma pleads her case about pretending to save her family, and insists that Eloise didn't know until well after they were married so she's innocent. Eloise can't help herself and gets on her soapbox about the way society limits women, and that the Queen should understand their plight. Shockingly, she does. She annuls their "marriage" (because they didn't consummate anything... RIGHT?!) but she agrees to let Emma control her family's estate until one of her sisters produces a male heir. After that, she and Eloise will receive a pension from the Crown so they can live independently (the real Queen Charlotte actually did this for suspected historical sapphic couple The Ladies of Llangollen). Since Emma and Eloise would never be able to find husbands now, they decide that they'll just be two spinsters growing old together in their house in the countryside. You know... just two gal pals. No one believes that shit, but they rarely interact with the ton, so they're largely left alone to live as they please.

Happy ending, close to canon, historically accurate, and super gay. It's not that hard. You're welcome.

[minswriting]

WINTER WONDERLAND - AARON HOTCHNER X READER

About: After a case in Upstate New York that ended on Christmas Eve, everyone was ready to head back home for the holiday. Except the flight was canceled due to bad weather, leaving you and Aaron to share your hotel for another night.

Warnings: NSFW, Minors Do Not Interact (MDNI), fluffy, soft sex, oral (f), winter vibes, established relationship, porn without plot, Aaron loves using pet names, you just love being loved

Word Count: 1,657 words

Being in Upstate New York during the holiday season usually would be quite magical. The snow, the holiday cheer of those around you, and the beautiful Christmas lights that decorated houses. But, unfortunately, the team had just finished a case that was quite gruesome and foul. Even in its gruesome state, the case had ended well and smoothly, saving a victim from being murdered. And now, it was time to go back to Quantico, Virginia. Except perhaps the snow outside may put a damper on plans.

You were looking outside the window of your hotel room after a long case when Aaron’s phone went off. “Oh,” Came Aaron’s voice from across the room. “Our flight’s been canceled due to the weather,” He exclaimed, glancing at his phone.

“That makes sense,” You replied, looking out the window. “It’s snowing like crazy outside. It’s gotta be at least three inches by now.”

Aaron hummed in response, wrapping his arms around you. “I sent a text to the rest of the team letting them know,” He murmured, resting his head on your shoulder.

You sighed in contentment, leaning into Aaron. “It must be sad you can’t spend Christmas with Jack,” you frowned, realizing it was Christmas Eve.

Aaron hummed in response, nodding his head. “Certainly,” He replied, letting out a small sigh. “But he’s staying at Jessica’s and she’ll ensure he has a wonderful holiday. I’ll video-call him tomorrow morning while he’s opening gifts and celebrate with him the next day.” Aaron then moved his hands to your hips, pulling away slightly so he could turn you towards him. “In the meantime, I think we have a day to ourselves, my dear.”

You let out a small chuckle as you looked up at Aaron, nodding your head. “I think we do.” You whispered.

Aaron gave you a soft smile, leaning in to press his lips against yours. “And I think I know something we can do to pass the time,” He exclaimed, still holding your hips.

“Yeah?” You asked, tilting your head with a knowing smile on your lips. “Like what?”

Rather than responding, Aaron simply met his lips with yours once more. This time, rather than a small kiss, it was soft but intimate, showing Aaron's need. You kissed him back softly, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands moved from your hips to underneath your sweater, touching the skin with his cold hands. You let out a small shiver while also welcoming the touch nonetheless.

Aaron broke the kiss to take your sweater off, revealing the fact that you were not wearing a bra underneath. He let out a hum of approval, his hands moving to cup your breasts before kissing you once more. He massaged the flesh, using his thumbs to rub your nipples. You let out a low moan into the kiss, feeling yourself getting wetter at the feeling of Aaron’s hands on your chest. You were glad that Aaron decided to keep it casual today and wear a sweater as well rather than his usual suit. He looked amazing in a suit but undoing the buttons was quite the hassle. You took his sweater off, revealing his beautiful abs and torso.

“You’re so handsome,” You said softly, running your hands down his chest.

Aaron gave you a gentle smile with a look of adoration in his eyes. “Thank you, my dear,” He murmured, his hands moving to your hips once more. “You’re the most beautiful person in the world,” He complimented you. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

Your cheeks reddened from Aaron’s compliment, feeling yourself getting hot and bothered by his voice alone. “I think you need to fuck me now,” You said, smiling at your boyfriend.

“It would be my pleasure to do so, sweetheart,” Aaron replied, unzipping your jeans and sliding them down along with your underwear. You kicked off both of them, tossing them to the side. Aaron gently pushed you to the mattress, making you sit at the edge. “I’m going to taste you first though,” he exclaimed, going down onto his knees.

You opened your legs for him, your cunt glistening, as you laid back onto the mattress. Aaron didn’t hesitate to dive in, licking a stripe from your hole to your clit. You let out a small whine of pleasure, a hand moving down to Aaron’s hair and entangling your fingers into it. “You always taste so heavenly,” Aaron murmured against your pussy before swirling his tongue around your clit. He wrapped his lips around the nub, sucking gently.

“Fuck,” you moaned, eyes closing as you threw your head back in pleasure.

Whenever Aaron ate you out, it was always amazing. The way he knew exactly how to please you never failed to bring you to the finish line quickly. He was either delicate with it, just like he is right now. Or he was messy, burying his nose in your pussy and practically inhaling it like it was his last meal. And god, that man was absolutely made for eating pussy. It didn’t take long until you were gripping the sheets with your thighs clenching around his face, your juices spilling onto his face.

And when you finished, Aaron stood back up, unzipping his slacks as he pulled them down along with his boxers, revealing his cock. He gave it a lazy tug before gripping your legs and pulling you closer to the edge of the mattress. Aaron took a moment to just look at you, taking in your beauty. You both looked at one another, appreciating each other silently. That was until you decided to break said silence. “Please,” you pleaded, looking at Aaron with lustful eyes.

“Please what, baby?” He asked, tilting his head. He knew exactly what you wanted, what you craved. But he wanted to hear you say it.

“Please fuck me, Aaron,” you practically begged. “Need your cock inside me.”

And honestly, who was he to deny your request? You were always so good to him. And you look absolutely ravishing. Plus, it’s Christmas.

Aaron didn’t respond as he just simply guided his cock to your cunt, gathering your juices before lining himself at your entrance. “Anything for you, darling,” he said before slowly easing himself into you, letting out a hiss of pleasure as he did so.

You gasped at the feeling, gripping the sheets below you. His cock, regardless of how prepared you may be, always stretched you out. He was thick and proud. When Aaron bottomed out, he stayed still, allowing you time to get used to his cock. He leaned down, one hand on your waist while the other rested on the mattress, holding him up. The two of you just looked at one another, his brown eyes looking into yours. Nothing else in the world mattered except this moment with him.

“You can move,” you said, voice soft as you reached up to caress Aaron’s cheek.

Aaron moved his head, pressing a kiss onto the palm of your hand before gently and slowly moving his hips. The two of you let out soft moans. “I love you,” Aaron breathed out, thrusting his cock in and out of you.

You moaned, a hand moving to his back. “And I love you,” you replied gently, looking up at him.

Sex with Aaron was always wonderful. You adored every time you guys did it because no matter the mood he was in, he would always prioritize your pleasure. Due to the stress of your jobs, more often than not, sex was always desperate, needy, filled with tension that had been built throughout the day. But secretly, you absolutely loved moments when it was soft. The way Aaron looked at you with all love and adoration mixed with lust, the way he’d take his time with you, ensuring that you know that you are appreciated. You loved the eye contact, soft kisses, the way that it didn’t matter if you guys finished because all that mattered was the closeness. You adored it all.

Aaron’s movements sped up a bit, getting into a nice rhythm as his cock brushed against your g-spot. You let out a whine of pleasure, your eyes fluttering shut as you threw your head back. However, Aaron didn’t seem to like that as the hand that was on your hip moved to your chin, making you look at him. “Look at me, sweetheart,” he breathed out. “Don’t look away.”

“Oh my god,” you whispered out, wrapping your legs around Aaron. “Feels so good.”

“I know, baby,” he whispered back, leaning down to press a kiss onto your forehead. “You feel so good wrapped around my cock.”

Your only response was a moan, trying your best to maintain eye contact with Aaron but it was hard when his cock was hitting that one spot inside of you repeatedly. The heat was building in your abdomen, begging to be released. “I’m close,” you said, letting out a breathy whimper.

Aaron leaned his forehead on yours, his breath hot on your face. “Me too, baby, me too,” he replied, maintaining his thrusts.

It didn’t take long for either of you to cum. The way you arched your back, body shaking as you came around Aaron’s cock. And the way he let out a loud moan as he released his seed inside of you, thrusting his hips until he was completely finished.

And when you both were done, he pulled out but stayed on top of you, intertwining your fingers next to your head. “Merry Christmas, my love,” he murmured, gently kissing your lips.

“Merry Christmas,” you whispered back.

And for the rest of the day, that was exactly what you guys spent it doing. Having gentle sex and whispering sweet things to one another. Because if you’re unable to go home, you might as well make the most out of being stuck in a hotel room during a winter storm.

[biteyoubiteme]

blueberry float

fem!reader x huening kai

synopsis: you get carried away after a day on the beach with your surfer boyfriend

warnings: 🔞!! slight nipple play, oral (f!rec), marking, tummy love, public/semi-public sex, no protection, creampie, prob forgot some sorry

wc: 1.83k

an: you cannot tell me kai doesn't give off surfer vibes, he is so summer coded its unreal. this is apart of my float event check out the other memebers fics! feed back appriciated :)) not proofread sorry [m.list] [float m.list]

Kai has seen you in a bikini before so this time should be no different. only you’re standing under the outdoor shower head rising off the salt of the ocean, the sand dotting your skin, head leaned back as you run your fingers through your hair. That strappy swimsuit is the perfect pink color against your skin. droplets of water sliding down between the valley of your breast, dripping along your stomach, your thighs. he had done a double take when you had taken off your loose gauzy button-up shirt. he had seen you naked more times than he could count but something about so little fabric was making him hard, the illusion of your nipples outlined in the fabric drawing him in.

he had been trying to ignore you as much as he could, staying out on the water longer than he thought he would. but it was hard to look away when you were laid out on your towel, turning every half hour to tan, he didn’t know if it was harder to see the curve of your ass or the way you almost spilled out of your top. he wouldn't be able to stay out on the dying waves, tae and Gyu already drying off next to where you’re rinsing, the sun already hanging low in the sky. Kai also knew that once the rest of them made it back to the little beach house you guys had rented he wouldn't be able to get you alone. The walls were so thin he could hear when the other members walked around, the muffled conversations they had. He wasn't very good at being silent when it came to you.

Even when you started to dry off, your towel hanging around your shoulders covering most of your body he couldn't get the image out of his head. He was so out of it he didn’t hear Yeonjun calling for him wondering why he wasn't following after. distracted as he paddled after the rest of them.

you were no better off than Kai as you watched him come out of the water. the swim trucks he wore, heavy with water hanging on his hips just right and sticking to his thighs. he was wearing a skin-tight water shirt, the black material clinging to every ridge of his arms, chest, and stomach. he was shaking his head off the water, hair stuck to his temple. his surfboard tucked under his arm as he made his way over to rinse off.

He gave you a tight smile as he hit the faucet, leaning his board against the wooden rail people kept their towels on. He stood under the stream, tossing his head back and running his fingers through his hair. you watched him flex, the water making the material of his shirt shiny, a perfect map of every line making up his body. you tried to hold your towel out for him but he shook his head putting it back around you. the boys talking about what we should have for dinner. “I think we're going to do a lap around the beach,” Kai added, putting an arm around your shoulder. the boys nodded, taking his board with them as you were led away from the direction they were going.

“Are you okay?” you ask, arms circling his waist, he still wasn't looking at you only making his way past a few people sitting around on the sand.

“yeah I'm good,” but his voice is strained from trying to keep losing his cool. but the way you were leaning on him was pressing your boob right against him, every glance down to you was directed at your exposed cleavage. he was trying to not make it obvious he was hard but it wasn't helped that he could only feel the ache of your absent hands on him when you were this close already. It wasn't until you were past the few larger rocks separating the beach into smaller sections that he turned to you, wrapping your face in his hands and kissing you breathlessly.

Kai was fervent, sloppy with his need as he curled his fingers in your hair, nose brushing against yours. He wanted you close to him, one hand sliding down to your waist to push your hips into his. your gasp at how thick and hot he was in his swimsuit was caught in his throat. his kisses down your jaw, as you ran your hands over his stomach, trying and failing to curl your fingers into the fabric. “please,” he groaned against your neck, “I need you, I want you so bad,”

“here?” you ask looking over his shoulder, “anyone could see us,”

“I'll be quick,” he mutters already pushing the towel away, letting it fall to the ground, “I promise, I just can’t wait anymore, and we haven't had sex the whole time we've been here because those stupid thin walls,” he’s kissing down your throat, teeth grazing over your pulse, “please, please,” he begs between every peck.

It wasn't often that Kai was this needy, trying to grind into you, fingers almost bruising against your hip to try and pull you close to him for any friction. it didn’t take much thought to agree, the images of him all day running through your mind. the way he caught a wave, the cocky smile he wore when he stayed up longer than his friends, all the clinging fabric, everything about today was making you wet. “promise to be quick,”

he was nodding, pulling away to lay out your towel on the sand for you, pulling you down so that you were laid out on your back.

Kai sat on his knees wishing he had his phone to take a photo of you. He reached out tugging on one of the stings holding your bottoms on effectively untying them.

he leaned over you leaving hot open-mouthed kisses down from your collarbone to your chest. groping you over your bikini top, teeth grazing over your covered pebbles nipple. “you can’t leave marks we’ll be here all week my concealer will be washed away when we go swimming,”

“But you brought the black one-piece right?” he slid down kissing over your ribs.

“yes,” you nod, twisting your fingers in his hair. “So wear that one because I don’t think I’ll be able to function seeing you back in this one, do you know how difficult it is to hide a boner in wet swim trunks?”

you giggle as he presses his lips over your stomach, licking and nipping your flesh. He loved to leave you covered in little bruises, from your chest to your thighs he didn’t stop and your tummy was his favorite spot. leaving bites along his path, burying his face against your soft skin.

“All day I’m trying to think about anything but you all wet and then you stand there looking like I should lick up every drop of water,” he bites the strap still tied at your hip tugging it with his teeth until it’s undone and you’re bare for him.

“you said you would make it quick,” knowing Kai could spend hours between your thighs if you let him.

“I wanna kiss this pretty pussy before I ruin her,” he ghosts his lips over your clit making you chase the feeling. hips lifting enough for Kai to hold them down.

he swipes his tongue through your folds drawing a line from your entrance to your clit before latching on and sucking you hard enough to have your back arching a strangled whine leaving your lips. you want to be quiet but as he laps up your wetness you’re struggling to keep your bodies to a minimum. one of your hands sinking into the sand next to you, grains sliding between your fingers doing little to keep you sane. and then he’s prodding your entrance with his tongue nose bumping your clit in perfect synchrony.

you push him further into your cunt not caring if he can breathe when you’re cumming. his name on your lips as you come down finally letting him up. He wastes no time in freeing himself from his trunks dragging the head of his cock through your wetness making your legs twitch. “no time for much prep but I know you can take it,”

you feel the stretch of his mushroom tip as he pushes in slowly inch by inch. his eyelids heavy as he’s swallowed into your still thumping walls. “Sucking me in so good,” he moans pressing his pelvis to yours.

you wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his hips needing him as close as possible when you’re this exposed. but even if someone walked around the rocks right now and saw you two you don’t think you would even notice.

Kai buried his nose behind your ear, kissing anywhere he could as he gave shallow thrusts. As much as he could say he would finish fast he forgot that as soon as he was back between your legs. your warmth so inviting he would lay still just cockwarming you without a care in the world. but then you were moaning, “Faster, please hyuka,” nails trying to scratch his back through the fabric of his shirt. squirming under him for friction.

following instructions he picks up speed finding his pace without much effort. hips knocking yours the wet sounds of his movements hidden behind the sound of the surf.

he was whimpering into your ear before planting both hands on either side of your head to find more leverage. His head thrown back, wet hair hanging against his forehead, throat exposed making you want to kiss his adam’s apple. He was close, sloppy thrusts and soft moans proof enough. He slipped one hand down between you two pinching your clit enough to not hurt.

he was buckling, shoulders curving in as you felt him twitch inside you, body falling forward as he came still cautious enough to not crush you. you could feel his hot cum fill you, your thighs weak as you followed right over the edge with him. both of you trying to stifle your moans to no avail.

you’re still trying to catch your breath when Kai laughs, “There was no way we could have stayed silent in the house, everyone would have known,”

“So in public it is,” you giggle, pushing the hair away from his face and behind his ears. “I can’t be blamed, you looked too good,” he planted a single kiss to your lips, “I wouldn’t be able to last another minute if you put this one on again,” he smiles, flicking at the straps around your neck.

When you two are cleaned up and Kais is tying your swimsuit bottoms back up he looks up from his knees. “you know you have sand everywhere, maybe I should help you out in the shower to get it all off?”

[holylulusworld]

House hunting

Summary: Steve wants to have a place on his own.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bestfriend!Reader

Warnings: a little angst, fluff, best friends to lovers, haunted mansion trope, mentions of death/accidents/murder

Square filled for @fandom-free-bingo "Gingerbread Edition": Haunted Mansion AU

“House hunting is boring, Steve,” you whine. “Why can’t we buy a Christmas tree for the communal room instead or Christmas presents?”

“You promised to spend the day with me,” Steve points out. He crosses his arms over his chest and gives you a stern look. “Promises are meant to be kept.”

You sigh, deep and long. “Yes, Captain,” you mutter under your breath. If only you’d have known that Steve wants to look for a place to get away from you and the others and not have some good old-fashioned Christmas fun. “Let me get my coat and boots.”

“You don’t look very excited,” he chides because you promised to be there for him today. “If you don’t want to come with me, it’s fine.”

“No, no!” You are quick to reply. Steve is right. You promised to go with him. Letting him down only because he wants to do something you don’t like would be wrong. “I’d like to spend the day with you. It’s just… I’ll miss you here if you move out.”

“I’ll miss our late-night conversations and movie nights, too,” he shyly admits. “But you can visit me anytime.”

“Yeah,” you don’t sound very convincing. “It won’t be the same, though.” You push the sadness away and force a smile on your face. “But I can come over for a sleepover if I’m not on missions.”

“Anytime,” he replies, returning your smile. Steve’s smile is not fake like yours, and it makes you feel even sadder. “You’re my friend.”

“Yup,” you pop the “p” and point at your coat. “Let’s go before someone snatches the house you want out of your hands.”

“You’re such a cute couple,” the real estate agent coos. Your heart flutters, but you know she only tries to sell the house to Steve. Complimenting you is simply another sales pitch. “Do you want to have children? This house is perfect for a family.”

“Uh—we’re not together,” you hastily say to stop her from embarrassing you in front of Steve. It’s not that you never daydreamed of having a family with Steve, or at least becoming more than a friend to him. He doesn’t see you that way. “We’re friends, and Steve asked me to come with him.”

“Oh,” she chuckles. “There’s always hope, right?” She elbows you, and you roll your eyes. Great, now Steve looks at you like you’re some stray kitten.

“How many bathrooms does it have?” Steve tries to save you and him from the awkward conversation. This is not the time or place to discuss how you feel about each other. “What about the kitchen? Is it brand-new or used?”

While the real estate agent talks to Steve about the house, you feel a cold shiver run down your spine. Somehow, it felt like someone put their hand on your shoulder.

“Make him yours before it’s too late,” a voice whispers in your ear, and you believe you lost your damn mind. “Don’t let him go. Never...never..never.” The voice chants, and you want to scream.

You shake the invisible hand off and hurriedly follow Steve and the real estate agent. You’d rather not stay alone in one of the rooms. The house is nice, but it gives creepy vibes.

“Uh—stupid question,” you clear your throat to get the real estate agent’s attention. “Did someone die in this house, or did anything happen in here?”

She blinks a few times and swallows thickly. Ah, there is the catch. You know something was off with the house and the price. “Well,” she tries to play it cool, but you can see the panic in her eyes, “the owner fell down the stairs and died, unfortunately. She was only twenty-four.”

“Oh, that’s sad,” Steve nods thoughtfully. You watch him rub his arms as goosebumps erupt over his skin. He must’ve felt it too. You’re not crazy. “Anything else I should know?”

“Her fiancé found her,” she admits under Steve’s intense gaze. “The police weren’t sure it was an accident, but they never… arrested him.”

“Fuck, that’s a murder house, Steve!” You grab Steve’s wrist, harshly tugging at it to make him follow you out of the house. He laughs it off and shakes his head.

“Doll, there’s no such thing as a murder house. It’s a good price, and the house is huge. Let’s have a look around.”

You whine and shake your head. “No. It’s haunted. They talked to me…”

Steve and the real estate agent look at you with amusement. They don’t believe you.

“How about I hold your hand?” Steve offers. He takes your hand and holds it gently. “For me. Let’s take a look.”

“Fine,” you grumble. “If I end up dead, I’ll haunt you in this house.” He smirks and wraps his arm around your shoulders to make you feel safe. You relax, hoping ghosts are scared shitless, knowing a super-soldier is here to protect you.

“Let’s head upstairs to take a look at the master bedroom,” the real estate agent goes ahead. You bite your lower lip, chewing on it when the stairs creak loudly. It sounds like they cry anytime she climbs up another step.

“Steve, I’m telling you something is wrong with the house,” you whisper as he guides you upstairs. You shudder because the house suddenly feels so much colder. “Please, let’s leave.”

“Ghosts are not real, doll,” Steve assures you. He pecks your temple. “After we are done here, I’ll invite you for dinner.”

“If I’m still alive,” you whisper, making him chuckle. “I mean it, Steve. If I die here, it’s your fault.”

The staircase seems to be endless, and you’re tired and out of breath when you reach the top. Even the fucking stairs must be haunted.

“Please follow me,” the real estate agent says and waves you closer. “If you go to your left, you’ll find the master bedroom.”

You stop in your tracks watching a vase drop to the ground. No one was even close to it, but it just fell to the ground and shattered into pieces. You scream and hide your face in Steve’s chest.

“Stevie! Let’s get out of here! Please!”

“Marry her! Marry her!” A creepy voice chants, and your blood runs cold.

You grab Steve by his upper arms and shake him. “What else do you need to hear and witness? That’s a haunted mansion, and we are going to die here if we stay!”

Steve looks at the broken vase. He shrugs while ignoring the voice coming from the bedroom and guides you closer to the door.

“MARRY HER! SHE’S YOURS!” The voice screams louder, and Steve stops in his tracks. He furrows his brows as the voice screams your name.

“Okay, I’m out of this for good,” you cry, and grab Steve’s wrist. “The ghost knows my name!”

“Uh—I think we should leave,” Steve hastily says. Before you can agree, he grabs you by your waist, throws you over his shoulder, and runs down the stairs—never looking back.

“Mission accomplished,” Tony says as Bucky, Clint, Bruce, and Peter join him to watch you and Steve feed each other with strawberries.

On your way out of the house, and toward freedom, you and Steve finally admitted your feelings for each other. Promising to be together in another life if you don’t make it out of the mansion. Facing a haunted mansion and ghosts made you see there’s more to fear than ruining your friendship.

“What if Steve ever finds out we tricked them?” The fake real estate agent asks. She smirks and takes off the mask she wore. “Next time, I want a real mission, Stark. Not some rom-com shit.”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Belova,” Tony snaps at Yelena. “Now let me enjoy watching my real life performance rom-com. I had to buy a fucking mansion to get these idiots together…”

[followerofmercy]

Oh my God I just realized the reason Arlecchino is Like That is because she's never known a parental figure as anything but an antagonist. Essay incoming:

I saw some really good analysis pointing out that Crucabena's existence was almost certainly a retcon for the Knave/Director of the House of Hearth's unforgivable behavior, and I agree. Nobody's ages make any sense without having to do a mental contortionist act and there was a distinct vibe of the Chasm Hearthlings being particularly brutal.

(That is part of why I don't usually get into super long-running stories. There will inevitably be some half baked ideas that you have to introduce early on for foreshadowing, but then the rest of the story moves in a way where there's a better option, and then you have to find a way to make the new idea work with the groundwork already laid. Personally, I think a footnote saying "We changed our minds - this is the edited version" is perfectly acceptable. A story is a conversation between the audience and author but whatever)

ANYWAY! It feels so fucking weird saying this because while I'm on the "they should be Worse, Actually" train 99% of the time, this is that 1% where I think Arlecchino being on the very very light side of morally gray makes for a way more interesting story than if they had've kept her true to the original idea.

I love evil women more than the next guy but I think the continued operation of the House of Hearth being a spit in the face to the Fontainian government and the Fatui and the idea of how a 'normal' family should look - because none of these kids are normal and that has directly led to their abuse - and that being a good thing is. Idk. Refreshing? I think it's a much more powerful message that Arlecchino was the only goddamn person that actually got results trying to do something about all these abused children. She is actually doing some incredible work in a terrible situation. In a world where these kids’ options are “being trafficked” and “Fatui pawns,” I think “Independent child soldiers operating under the Fatui banner but staying true to themselves” is a pretty damn good alternative. 

It’s also important that the rest of society’s lack of care is directly responsible for the continued existence of the House of Hearth as it is. I mean fuck’s sake, Fontaine has a community of people living in the SEWER. If there was a public orphanage that wasn’t operated by predators, I’m sure most children would be there instead! But no. Nobody wants these kids. And, God forbid Wriothesley decided to do something about being sold. The victim blaming is off the charts. There is no way for Arlecchino to operate peacefully within the existing system, so she made her own. 

So the actual point of this essay: It’s everywhere in Arlecchino’s story, dialogue and actions that she wants her children to support each other, but because of how Crucabena raised her, she can’t really envision herself as part of that family (even if she actually is part of it and the majority of the kids love her dearly.) A parent is something to be feared, eventually killed, and removed from the path of their successor. Everyone likes to highlight little Perurere asking if it’s normal for biological mothers and daughters to argue. On some level I think she knows it’s wrong, but still. Literally all she’s ever seen is a parent as an obstacle to overcome. None of the children in her care had good parents and, if they did, the parents are dead. 

(Also hot take that Crucabena probably thought extremely highly of Arlecchino and gave her special treatment. She felt that Clervie was holding her actual favorite daughter back. I imagine Arlecchino also has very complicated feelings in Crucabena’s role in raising her to be as strong as she is while also being an objective monster, but that’s a topic for another time.) 

Even Arlecchino’s constellation talks about her being alone while instructing her children to care for one another. That separation ties into her being outwardly contradictory about rules. In her story quest, she spends the majority of it aware that her children are disobeying her, but as long as she doesn’t catch them, she can’t rightfully punish them now can she? Now excuse her while she makes herself scarce so they can get up to their mischief. She lip services - and by that I mean lies - about the importance of rules. She Actively Encourages her children to disobey her so long as they do it smart, which is a way to teach them how to circumvent the unjust laws of Fontaine and the Fatui without getting caught. If her kids fuck up bad enough she’ll “punish” them before they get actually killed by something worse than her, and if they successfully trick her (with her blessing), then there’s a good chance they’ll live. (Or, yk, if they wanna leave she’ll let them asldfj) 

So, again, I'll keep preaching that Arlecchino's whole MO is that she is setting herself up as an antagonist for her children, and her children's allies, to test themselves against. She actively encourages rebellion against her, unfair rules, the system, the Fatui, Fontaine, etc, because that's how she survived her own upbringing and the only way she knows for her family to protect themselves. She is keenly aware that she is Not Gentle, Not Fair (even if I do neglect that part in my own writing), and that there probably is a better way to do things. That’s why she wants Lyney specifically to succeed her. She cannot envision a perfect Hearth with her in it because she is the Parent, and historically, Parents are obstacles to be removed. 

Arlecchino’s greatest wish as the King of the House of Hearth is to be dethroned, and I think that is WAY more interesting than the abusive, violent tyrant Hoyo teased at first.