#in this case i am mike and my friends are will. love them im being sooo supportive of this show they love

[newlesbianprideflag]

mike wheeler who read gomens in 1991 and adored it being indescribably angry at what he calls the "character assassination" of aziraphale in the tv show vs will byers who never read the book but really likes the show and finds show!aziraphale/crowley incredibly charming. mike is trying so hard to not be mean about this show his husband loves (and will is playing up his interest in the show bc its still cute when mike gets all red-in-the-face, even after fifteen years of marriage)

[panlight]

hi! i love reading the discussions you have about twilight. i was wondering, what do you think Bella’s career would be if she cared enough to have one? ik Stephanie said teacher, but that seems really ooc for Bella tbh. can’t see her wanting to be a housewife for long either, especially when recipe grows up and leaves. i could see her as a writer maybe, though im not sure about the type of books she’d write (vampire romance ?? 😭). also maybe something with book stores or libraries. teaching seems like an extroverted job, and she’s the opposite of that.

You're right that SM said that Bella had planned to become a teacher. She said that her mother's career was the one thing Bella admired about Renee, but that Bella wanted to teach older kids, so like high school. But I agree with you that doesn't really seem like a Bella thing to do. Bella doesn't even like high school students while she IS one herself, I don't see her enjoying that kind of work at all.

Although to be fair I know lots of people who sort of had a vague idea about "becoming a teacher" because they didn't know what else to do with their area of interest (in this case, Bella's love of reading) but then when they took their first education classes in college they were like "yikes, nope, not for me." So this might have happened to Bella eventually.

I definitely feel like the bookstore idea is more her speed. She's actually pretty organized and practical so I think she could run a small business no problem, and she does seem to take some pleasure in keeping things running even though she shouldn't have had to do so on behalf of her parents. It would probably be more fun and rewarding for her when it's a choice. Could totally see her dabbling in writing on the side but feeling like "oh it's not any good" given her self-esteem issues, but eventually a friend (Jacob? Angela? maybe even Mike or Jess but I don't feel like she'd trust them enough to show them her writing) would encourage her to try and publish.

Now if this is all happening in a world where she did marry Edward and become a vampire, then the Cullen money would make this bookstore thing super easy, barely an inconvenience. Edward would just buy the cutest bookstore and have Bella take over, but it would feel kind of hollow, like she's just "playing bookstore" because she didn't have to try. And of course Edward would get her books published under a fake name and . . . you know, maybe that's how Twilight exists in the first place.

Libraries are also a good option! I am myself a librarian so I speak with some authority on this, haha. I think Bella would do great with some of the behind-the-scenes work like cataloging (which was my previous job) or collection development (Selecting and Buying the stuff, which is my current job) or maybe even shelving books, but she'd HATE the more customer-facing stuff like programming, circulation, reference. At my library even those of us with behind-the-scenes jobs do have some time on the service desks helping patrons, and as an introvert it's not my favorite but most library jobs start there. Almost everyone I know got their foot in the door of the library with some part time circulation desk job and then worked up to something better and I don't know if Bella makes it past that hurdle. The library is about being there for the community and meeting THEIR needs; a bookstore she could set up to her own tastes.

[z0mb1epuzzy]

hii again (i sent the josh/chris with a nipple peircing request teehee, i absolutely LOVED what you did with it holyyy)

i was wondering about your thoughts on our characters with a size difference/kink? particularly with a shorter reader? (although mike with a taller reader actually makes me CRUMBLEEE because holy god, he'd be so whipped) also i apologize because none of my asks are likely to be completely gender neutral, i unconsciously write reader inserts as feminine unfortunately 😭

but in particular, mike and chris (chris hyperfixation been hitting hard because of you. it's all your fault, i say with heart eyes)

i wasnt positive if youd already done this, but i thought id ask just in casee

i imagine mike being cocky about it, but not too outwardly. he would more-so just tease you about it, but he makes sure to be gentle as well. hed think its just soooo cute when youre pressed up with your back against his chest, struggling to take just two of his fingers inside of you, you huffing a "fucking hell" in pitiful anger as you curse your genes under your breath, wanting him to just fuck you already. hed chuckle breathily into your neck, kissing the soft skin under your ear sweetly. "you know how this goes, hon. we need to get you all ready for me.. wouldnt want you to get hurt, now would we?"

chris, im a bit more uncertain how he would feel about it. i cant remember how tall he is off the top of my head, but he's taller than mike in game, isnt he? i feel like hes definitely used to people being noticeably shorter than him, almost all his friends are (if not all of them), so he's not usually very surprised when he encounters someone shorter than him. but then he meets you, standing at an almost sad 5'1", and he is WHIPPED. not even sexually, he just wants to hold you. you're like the perfect size for him to spoon and hold, and oh god- have in his lap. he would definitely, when hes sitting, pull you straight onto his thighs at any given moment - with absolutely no struggle, might i add. (i live for beefy!chris)

OMG, and do NOTTT even get me started on sex. he is basically using you to get off. after youve finally taken him inch by inch and gotten comfortable, as soon as he's close to finishing, he's gripping your hips, grinding and slamming you against him like his own personal fleshlight. he really didnt mean to be so rough. he apologizes for it after the fact, of course he does, because he really didnt mean to, you just felt so good and tight around him, and he just lost his resolve... i feel like hed forget his own strength sometimes? leaving bruises occasionally from accidentally gripping your hips too hard, or at least he gets close to it. hes just not used to having someone so much smaller than him. youre like a tiny teddy bear.

- 🙀

HELLO ANON OMG??? we’re gonna kiss rn bc… i am also a size kink enjoyer… i love me a big man!!!!! also it’s okay if ur asks aren’t gender neutral! i am afab myself so i totally get how u can lean a certain way without realizing!! i don’t mind :3

heehee now for the sauce i am so hype for this currently…

for this, i’m gonna focus on the smaller reader x bigger mike/chris, but if any tall babes want me to elaborate for them, i 100% can you beautiful gorgeous lengthy creatures you…

mike!! absolutely reads as a man who would (not subtly) have a size kink!!

if you’re shorter/smaller than him, it makes him feel so strong, definitely an ego boost.. watching you struggle to take him? your little hands on his body?? HELLO??!!?!!!

and even if you’re taller/bigger than mike, that’s a still a total ego boost if you let him dom you… watching someone who’s physically capable or possibly assertive totally crumble for him? LORT!

.

it’s so hot to me when a big ol man is so teasing about his physical advantage, but also gentle with you to make sure you’re okay… Mike is one of those guys, he’s a perfect mix of teasing and gentle, like his words make you expect he’s gonna be rough, but he genuinely does take care to not hurt you!! it’s cute to him when you get all whiny, his big hands on your body, one helping to stretch you a little… y’know, to make it a little more comfortable! it makes him wanna cave a little, hearing you beg sooo sweetly, but he’s gonna make you wait! it’s for your own good♥️

and chris.. drools..

chris wouldn’t realize he has a size kink necessarily.. it’s normal to like how big your hands look on your partner’s, isn’t it? doesn’t everyone feel a little extra riled up at the idea of their partner needing a lil extra foreplay to take them?

so he wouldn’t openly acknowledge it as a kink, but it absolutely is, without a doubt. just imagine… chris’s big hands squeezing your hips and thighs, basically throwing you around like a little ragdoll… bc i AGREE! chris is a strong guy who doesn’t recognize his strength sometimes, he’s just too eager to please!!?! his grip on your hips tighter than he intended, leaving little purple splotches where his fingertips had been before… UGHH!!

[demadogs]

heyy what are your thoughts on Mike's monologue? Do you think he was being honest or it was a half truth or something? I'm really curious abt what you think bc honestly I'm not sure myself

this might be long i havent dove into this scene in a while.

the short answer is i think it was a mix of some sad truths disguised as romance, things he believes she wants to hear (but is completely wrong), and just straight up lies. but the biggest thing is that what he thought she wanted to hear was what will told him in the van, unaware that those were wills feelings not els.

but before i even talk about it lets just LOOK at the scene. this is what every other romantic scene in the show has looked like:

and this was allegedly mike and el’s “most romantic scene”.

they are not happy here. this was right before mike said he loves her and right after. one of the biggest differences in this scene compared to the other ships is the fact that both of them we’re forced into this conversation. mike was NOT going to say any of this. will had to push him to continue. meanwhile el is physically restrained from responding to him. she was forced to listen to him and mike felt like he was forced to say it.

anyways now im gonna analyze the actual content of the monologue:

sad truths disguised as romance:

“i dont know how to live without you”

i think this is true and it could be a romantic line but it could also be really sad. it reminds me of when finn (or millie i dont remember) said that they were like a married couple with no option of divorce. i think what mike really meant by this is that hes scared to confront who he really is without el. he actually already did confront this version of himself after she and will moved. i think when he was without either of them he realized his true feelings and hated it and he just wants to go back to who he was before he figured it out.

“i feel like my life started that day i found you in the woods”

im not as confident in this one but it could honestly be extremely sad when looked at from a different lens. it was the first night after will went missing. it was the first time things in his life got weird and unexplainable. losing will and finding el is what led to all the supernatural trauma theyve been through. i dont think mike associates el with trauma but that night in the woods did change all of their lives forever and nothing has been normal since that night. when mike told will asking him to be his friend was the best thing hes ever done, thats said in a way that could not be interpreted any other way, especially not in any negative way. this can. (that being said im not negating how much mike genuinely does care about her and im not saying he wishes he never found her or anything like that).

then it gets so complicated because the only way mike knew how to reach her was through everything will said to him in the van, not knowing that everything will said was referring to HIS feelings, not els.

what mike thinks she wants to hear (based on what will said):

mike tells el “im afraid that one day you wont need me anymore” directly referring to when will told him that she (he) will always need him and then we see this shot.

a lot of people interpret this clip as will just being sad that mike loves her but i think here he might actually be realizing that mikes using his own feelings unknowingly to reach her and he feels guilty about it.

will also told mike that “you make her feel like shes not a mistake at all, like shes better for being different and that gives her the courage to fight on” which actually is not the case for el AT ALL. that was the entire reason for their fight in volume one. el told him “i am different i do not belong” and that he thinks shes a monster and thats why she doesnt love him. she doesnt wanna be loved for being different. but will made mike think she does. these are els reactions to when he brings up her powers:

“youre my superhero”

“you can move mountains, you can fly”

during the whole monologue shes crying but both times he brings up her powers she stops and just looks mad. she looks like she just realized something and shes not happy about it.

i think will completely unintentionally made mlvn so much worse with his veiled confession in the van.

just straight up lies:

“and i knew right then and there that i loved you” (referring to the very first moment he saw her in the woods.)

this is the biggest lie of the whole monologue and i dont always like to bring in social media and marketing to my analyses but when i watched this for the first time, the SECOND he said this i immediately thought of this tweet:

we also have proof in the show itself that he didnt feel this way. he brings her home because he just found a lost girl in the woods in the pouring rain. and then he and lucas and dustin immediately come up with a plan on how to get her back to wherever she came from so that the next day they can go back outside and find will.

“i love you on your bad days”

immediately debunked. mikes a fucking BITCH on her bad days. even will thinks so.

“i love you for exactly who you are”

he doesnt even talk about who she is??? at the beginning of the season we had that whole scene of nancy and jonathan talking about all the reasons they love each other and what does mike love about el? that shes a superhero?

and THEN after the monologue is over its not even mike who gives her the courage to fight on! ITS MAX!!! el doesnt have the power to move the vines until she sees max in trouble. and then later when shes reviving her and theres flashbacks of their moments together, specifically when she says “theres more to life than stupid boys” and “not hopper, not mike, you.” thats huge.

continuing with post-monologue volume 2, its so beyond weird that we dont see el speak a WORD to him after this enter speech. not even just after that speech, after she almost died.

if mlvn was meant to be why didnt they have a moment like this after she woke up? we dont even see her wake up. we dont even see them for two days!!!!

anyways that was a lot. i hope it all made sense. i think the purpose of the whole monologue was to show that even after mike says what she wanted to hear, shes still not happy with him. shes realized that that she is her own person and her own superhero. the duffers just made it excruciatingly complicated and i hope they do a good job explaining this scene in s5.

[poltergeist-coffee]

EMPANADA DIED

MY GIRL NOOOOOO

I'm not okay

She is just a baby:(

On the bright side, fit and pac are dating yay

Uh... I'm not thinking about that post about pac having two hands or something, nope, it's not like eoiles have ttwo hand too, one for fighting other to hold pac's hand...

Polyqsmp for the win, y'know?

Also, Ramon and Pac's relationship is the cutest thing ever, they are father and son your honor 🥺

I love them

At least a couple is okay because guapoduo, on the other hand... meus pais meus pais where are them?

Slimeriana too...

I really want Mariana to log on, but specifically when Richas is awake because it would be funny

Roier traumatized him kkkkkkkk

Oh, and I friend of mine really likes goodomensduo(Scott + Febatista), the thing is that they had very little interactions... The poor guy is suffering with lack of content

The problem of liking not popular dynamics/ships is that you have to make the content yourself

We suffer

Apparently, Cellbit, Slime and Baguera's thing is running their voices on karaoke every time they meet up

They are having fun:D

I don't have that confidence kkkkk(I don't know if I wait or fear the day my friends decide to do a karaoke while I'm with them because they are liking the idea recently)

I was remembering your royal(? Or was medieval, I struggle with names) au the other day and I don't remember if you talked about Baguera's kingdom, or Phil(who is on the wall, the sigh must be nice), does she still a duck?(and the other winged people too?) Or they are just humans?

And I'm fearing that the owl Cellbit hc will catch me, I AM ALREADY A INDECISIVE PERSON I DON'T NEED MORE IDEAS TO FREAK OUT

But I saw some fanarts and... owlboy... I love owls...

Anyway, I hope you had a great day and week:D

Good day/night!

- 🍽

empanada dying was probably an accident too :((( (based on tubbo's analysis on stream) it's so sad :(( she's the first egg to lose a death ever since the new eggs arrived + everyone got their two lives back.... i really thought richas would be the first one to lose a life again ngl just because of how he is

DSVAKLSMDLA PLLATE ANON YOU'RE MY HEROOOOO XDD you're right. etoiles has two hands, one for pac and the other is to fight the eye workers from purgaotry <33 pac has two hands, one for fit and one for etoiles and mike is helping fix his prosthetic leg <33 romance <33 at it's finest

i loved that ramon called pac his dad and mike didn't realize janvkjasdjk he completely forgot that fit and pac dating now meant that ramon is pac's son XDD the favela family grows bigger every day...

i would love for mariana to log on when roier and richas are both on because i want to see roier make a big deal out of it and richas runs for his life XDD i want richas to spread his fear to the new eggs too like imagine how funny that would be asdvkjaska poor pepito,,, being told one of pepito's dad is an egg eating monster

EVERY DUO AND FRIEND GROUP FROM PURGATORY IS SUFFERING!! THEY LIVE OFF OF SO LITTLE CONTENT TT at least they can make up whatever lore they want with the purgaotry cubitos... im shaking your friends hand for liking a rarepair TT we make the content all ourselves... life is so hard for us

ive never done kareoke before but it looks like fun to do with friends :oo i can't sing so i would be so bad at it kjnsdavjkask

-- -- --

YAAA THE ROYALTY AU (which is also a little medieval, it's like both so it's okay adsjkvnask)

baghera is the queen of her own kingdom!! everyone is human in this au but they have magic they specialize in and can create items to give them things that are sort of like wings!!

philza is a special case tho because his wife is the goddess of death so maybe she blesses his cape to act like wings or something... since baghera is a queen im sure she has the resources to find someone to make her a cape or item that works like wings because i feel like something like that would be super hard to make.

jaiden is a witch in this au and she doesn't live in any kingdom!! she lives sort of by herself surrounded by a rose garden and she uses a lot of nature magic which is focused on birds!! because of this and how long she's been studying it she's able to enchant herself a cloack that allows her to glide short distances :DD more similar to the paraglider in mineraft then an elytra. the feathers she used for her cloack were all shedded feathers she gets from her bird friends :]]

-- -- --

IVE NEVER SEEN OR HEARD OF OWL CELLBIT HCS BUT THAT'S SO COOL,,,,,, he would be so unnerving, imagine he can turn his head all around 360 like an actual owl advknaskja poor roier if he ever sees that,,,, he would scream so loud

[justalilpearlie]

Sammy IRL rants abt sammike and the fandom. (not directed at any creators, keep it up sammike tumblr nation! /gen)

I wish the fandom knew more abt sammike and it wasnt always. with me forced into another existing character. like no im not the freddy bully, or the bonny bully, or the phone guy, im me.

Im henry's son. Samuel "Sammy" Emily

I sadly was an outsider to all the bullshit that went on in Hurricane agaisnt my own will. I wanted to know. I wasnt able to do anything about it. I didnt knew how Mike was doing for years. I WISH we had worked together! but that only can happen in a No One Dies timeline.

I just wish to be my own person in the fandom and not made a baby, because in some memories I was even OLDER than Charlie, and Mike was always around my same age! When I say we've known eachother our WHOLE lifes I mean it. When I first saw Michael's face I was probably under a year old. I cant remember because 1. IRL mems can be fuzzy and 2. most ppl dont remember things before age like 3 or 4, but I do know our parents were friends before we were even born, and we played together and attended each one of eachothers birthdays, we were best friends before lovers, childhood bestfriends.

When we grew up we had a fall out, because of his new friendgroup, which I'd join later on anyways (on a particular timeline. because yes i remember different contradicting timelines.), but before that I was always trying to impress him and them so I could spend time with them. When we did spend time together, at first theyd tease me for being the youngest, shortest and weakest, and he'd always go out of his way to defend me, help me when I got hurt trying to pull out some dumb trick to get their attention and a couple times even canceled hang outs with his friends when I was having some issues (wont go into detail, but wanna clarify it has nothing to do with my family, they were GREAT and whoever says Henry Emily OR his wife play favorites f u. that couldnt be more far from the truth.)

OH here's sum memories I love: Taking care of our little siblings (where theyre all fairly younger than us and we were way older than them in comparison. also no one dies au), taking them to the park, staying home with them when our parents went out on date nights, it was great honestly. we all loved staying in having ice cream in front of the TV with a fan (or more), while Fazbear and Friends was on!

Sorry yall, im going a bit loco. I uh. yeah anyways this is a sammike household, i 100% respect other ships but i dont wanna see them here, on this account, so like ik no one has yet but just in case if anyone wanted to know my opinion on other popular ships like jeremike or mike x the other bullies: sammike is better, i am 100% bias and i wont apologize. ive never been more comforted than I am by my boyfriend and seeing anything of us together. even when people get it wrong. SPECIALLY when people getting right [looking at one of my mutuals w the realest sammike takes ever] I JUST. i wont give my opinion on other michael ships, only will say "sammike for the win" and thats all.

Thanks for comming to my TED talk, sorry for the rant, it WILL happen again. most likely.

Sammike content:

[walking-fnaf-encyclopedia]

Don't worry about taking a while to respond!! we don't mind.

I LOVE Cassidy crying child as well (and have a Cassidy CC fictive headmate as well dfkgjhfgd) and I use it for several AUs including my main fnaf au. To answer your question about the designs, I'm thinking that Baby's appearance is altered to fit the other animatronics- i tend to stylize them all like real life vintage animatronics anyway, but Baby looks more like the others in the swap AU!

We might tell you more about some of our AUs soon, but in the meantime, what's your favorite of your AUs? Or any that you feel like sharing?

(Happy fnaf movie birthday!! We're gonna see it tonight we're so excited)

head in fucking hands. i have typed up a response to this twice now and tumblr keeps fucking eating it i hate mobile.

OKAY. third times the charmmm!!!

thank youu <3

same hat!!!! i only have them in logical error tho cause so far thats the only one where its relevant so far lol. i should really make a flashlight duo au or something. dont get me wrong, love evan cc having a best friend cassidy, but something about lonely cassidy cc who blames their dad more than mike for their death, ughhh.

changing baby definitely makes the most sense since shes the most “out of place,” her canon design being a different location, you know what i mean lol. but i know some people love to take on that challenge of “okay, but what if i redesigned everyone else instead of taking the sane route?” (its me im some people) also YES love vintage real life animatronics!!

oughhh my fave it probably logical error… i cant share a lot about it unfortunately twt

BUT! i can share one thing!! the twins’ (mangle’s heads) are named valerie (‘main’ head with casing) and eirelav (endo head)!! val and eire (eye-ra) for short! ive made up a whole little thing which i explained best in my second try at replying to this ask, but basically, cassie has a miscolored roxy plush that she named “valerie,” her best cross between roxy(/ie) and valentine. this roxy plush was a defect plush cause they put the wrong fabrics or the wrong patterns into the machines, so they had a small batch of chica-colored roxys and roxy-colored chicas (which cassie also has one of, whom i desperately need to name lol). i will draw them eventually i think they are so silly, her dad gave them to her and she thinks theyre both hilarious and adorable <3

okayyy i would say more but 1. third time writing this and still have to do. tags. and 2. i dont have anymore ideas lolll

HOPE YALL HAD FUN!!!!! i have to wait til the fifth of november and i am going insane. shaking violently. i am not leaving that fucking theatre seat til the credits. (which will suck cause no stimming but WHATEVER!!!!! ILL LIVE!!!!)

[angelmichelangelo]

Just learned about the human au fic u have planned and I am SO excited over it!!! 🩵 Mikey deserves all the gummy worms 😤 do u have any more brain worms you’d like to share about it?

oh i'm super excited that people are excited about this! so thank you!! :D

and he does doesn't he? :( i haven't got a whole lot written for this fic just yet, it's kind of just. there. in my brain. i just need to write it lol

but a little more info about it for you! so leo, raph, don and mike are all brothers that lived with their mom... who. has trouble looking after them. just very neglectful. at first i was gonna link their mother to an actual tmnt character but i didn't wanna do tang shen dirty like that so she's just oc really. she's not in it much because after bouncing around foster homes and group homes, the brothers kinda just, strike out on their own, laying low until leo turns 18 so he can properly take care of them :)

casey is raph's slightly older friend. in this au i imagine they met whilst in a group home, getting into trouble together, casey ends up going back into his dad's care (boo) and so after the boys have 'run away' casey offers them a place to stay.

april is in here too! her mom is a foster parent, and at one point, very briefly, she was caring for donnie. in the au, whilst for the most part they've managed to stick together, unfortunately like most cases with kids in foster care, there's been instances where the boys have been split apart (and in this fic itself, where they find themselves separated again...) but we love april and april's mom <3 she doesn't know they're homeless of course otherwise she'd take them in in a heartbeat

murikami is in this fic because i feel like we don't see him often enough in tmnt lol. maybe leo gets a job at his shop or something im not too sure yet but i wanna link murikami to splinter in this fic. which, by the way, splinter isn't their dad in this. again, like i said before, the boys don't have any 'character' parents. they're just some people. we don't need to worry about them lol

but that being said, the boys are blasian in this. i mean, that's pretty much canon at this point anyway but yeah. i have some art i did a while back that i kinda based this whole au off but it's unfinished (like most of my projects lmao) so yeah!

i can't decide whether to make leatherhead a social worker or another foster parent the boys come across. either way i want him and mikey to have a good relationship. same with slash. maybe a welfare officer or something? the whole gangs here lol

BUT YEAH honestly talking more about this au makes me more excited to write it and gives me more inspo for it, so your enthusiasm is super duper appreciated!! thank you!! *throws gummy worms at you nicely* THANKS !!

[castlebyersafterdark]

what is your fav food? just got into a bicker fest with an american friend who was laughing at beans + cheese on jacket potato which is such a comfort food where im from.

will's favourite holiday is christmas so i wonder is christmas food in america is his fav. we have roast beef here for that.

i also wonder what mike's fav food would be. and also if thanksgiving would ever be incidentally featured in stranger things! if its set around autumn im hoping for a christmas finish to come full circle that its will's fav holiday :)

WHAT in the world is a potato jacket??? I am such a stereotype but do anything to a potato and I'm probably gonna be into it haha. OH OK looked it up. Call that a baked potato. I love the alternate term??? Kinda want to call it that now, it's kind of adorable. I don't really like cheese but I like my "jacket potatoes" with bacon bits and chives 😋

One of my favorite foods is fried chicken WHO could have predicted that? (Dipped in honey to be honest ohhh yes). I'm kind of basic. My man is a total foodie, and while I'm not a picky eater, not very adventurous. I'll try anything though! I also really love seafood and pie! A blueberry or peach pie? Hell yes.

And ooooh I can see your vision for Will very accurately. He does love christmas, doesn't he? The cozy family atmosphere, the holiday celebration. Everyone together. He loves all that. A really great, home cooked meal, whatever that consists of, would do it for him. I think especially since he comes from a very tight budget, working class family - making the time to really sit down and serve something special he would cherish. Looks forward to thanksgiving and christmas all year because of that. And I also HC him as having a sweet tooth!

Mike stumps me because I kind of subscribe to what I think is a popular one of him being a picky eater. Boy certainly is chill with junk foods, though!! Big time cereal for dinner guy until he wises up a bit. I don't know. He grew up with a mother who was providing consistent home cooked meals but he was a stubborn boy. I think he'd enjoy cooking later in life, but he's not like a culinary genius at it. Which is ok! But he'd get a kick out of following a recipe and viewing cooking like a science experiment, working with his hands to make something beginning to end, discovering what works and what doesn't. The science of food. And Will with him, also not spectacular but making something together is awesome.

And I feel like Thanksgiving is going to feature! I keep wondering how the timeline works and what's going on with the different groups of characters. I know it looks like the bulk of the season takes place in the fall, maybe around Thanksgiving break? I have a feeling the whole cast has been living in Hawkins throughout everything, and the "older teens" group didn't move away, but it would have made sense as well for them to be home from college on Thanksgiving break. I don't think that's the case though - the group of them probably lingered around Hawkins even a year or two on instead of moving away out of obligation? That's what stumps me about the timeline stuff, the ages of Nancy, Jonathan, Robin, Steve. Hand-wavy end of the world situation though...

[survey--s]

528.

Ever had a promise ring? No.

Who knows your biggest secret(s)? Probably the people who read these surveys lol.

Do you ever get messages/asks on Tumblr? I don’t think I ever have but I used to get quite a few comments etc. back in the days where we all posted on Xanga.

When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? Never.

Do you like shrimp? Yeah, they’re one of my favourite types of seafood.

Are you lactose intolerant? I actually am but I can tolerate a little bit before it impacts me.

Have you ever thought a man over 40 was attractive? Sure, I mean, I’m 34 so 40 is hardly ancient lol.

Have you ever been told your aspirations are unrealistic? I don’t think so.

Who was the last person you sat beside at a restaurant? Susie.

Who is popular in your country? (Singers, actors etc.) I don’t really pay attention to that kind of thing.

What did you watch today? I’ve been watching Come Dine With Me since I got in from work.

Peaches or plums? Plums. I’m not a fan of the fuzzy skin on peaches but they do taste good.

Do you understand art? I have to be honest, I just don’t really care much about art.

Do/did your parents buy you a lot for Christmas? They did when I was younger, yeah. As I got older I didn’t necessarily get lots of stuff, but I did generally get good quality stuff that I asked for. Nowadays I just get money or experiences.

Out of all the cultures in the world, what culture do you find the most interesting? Japanese, as it’s just SO different to ours.

Do you like ramen noodles? I LOVE ramen as long as it’s not too spicy.

Who/what was that last thing that you slept with? The dog lol. He comes back to bed every morning for a cuddle when Mike goes to work.

Do your parents do things that "embarrass" you? Not so much now as an adult, but my dad just doesn’t care what anyone thinks and has zero filter lol. My mum was fine though.

What IM service do you use the most? Messenger or WhatsApp.

Who was the last person to IM you? My mum - she was just confirming our plans for Friday.

When you eat take-out, do you just eat it out of the containers provided? Generally, yes, but one specific case where I never do is when getting fried rice from Chinese places; I pour it into a bowl.

Would you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them? Yes.

Do you carry condoms? No.

How organized are the files on your computer? I barely have anything to organise on here lol. I just download the photos for my posts on here.

Did you have a childhood hero? Were they real or fictional? No.

Would you consider dating a psychiatrist or psychologist? Sure, if I found them attractive and they were a good person.

For each person you’ve kissed, describe your feelings in one word: I’d be here forever LOL.

How do you react when you trip or stumble? This is a daily occurrence for me ha. I just deal with it?

Are you good at the game Twister? Nope. I’m not even remotely flexible.

Do your friends trust you around their bfs/gfs? Why would they need to trust me? Surely if their partners are decent people, it doesn’t matter what other people do?

Would you rather make the first move, or your crush? Either is fine.

If you have a camera, when do you use flash? Whenever I need to.

What would you do if you found a gun in your best friend’s bedroom? I’d be really freaked out as guns are very much illegal here.

What do you call your grandparents? My grandparents have all passed away.

What would be a cool earring design? I like ones that kind of go behind the earlobe and then the design hangs underneath, if that makes sense?

Besides nightmares, what is the scariest thing about sleeping? Being totally unaware of what’s going on around you.

Do you look better with red lipstick or black lipstick? Red.

Ever had a terrible breakup? Of course.

Favorite bands/artists? The Beatles, Jack’s Mannequin, Plain White T’s, Dolly Parton, The Chicks, Ed Sheeran.

Favorite quote? “Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”

Wearing any bracelets? No, I hate bracelets lol.

Does your phone take pictures? Of course lol.

Who is your favorite neighbor? They’re all nice enough. The one I speak to most is called Chris and I look after her cat when she goes away lol.

Have you ever gotten a detention? No.

Does your door have a deadbolt on it? No.

Have you had any soda today? Yeah, a Canada Dry and a Pepsi Max.

What is your favorite scary movie? None of them really. I just don’t enjoy that kind of thing.

What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? Covid, 9/11, the Iraq war, Obama being president, the war in Ukraine.

What happens in your country regularly that people in most countries would find strange or bizarre? I don’t know if there is anything, really? I can’t think of much that happens in the UK that’s particularly unusual lol.

What’s your funniest story involving a car? Nothing is coming to mind right now.

If you built a themed hotel, what would the theme be and what would the rooms look like? I have no idea, maybe seaside themed.

Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? No.

What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? Nothing in particular is coming to mind at the moment.

What’s the grossest food that you just can’t get enough of? Haha, I have no idea.

What brand are you most loyal to? None really. I change my preferences all the time.

Where are you not welcome anymore? I don’t think there is anywhere.

What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Giving birth. Having children.

What fashion trend makes you cringe or laugh every time you see it? Crocs. They're just hideous to me. <---- same. I don’t care how comfortable they’re supposed to be, they’re just awful lol.

What are the initials of the last person you made out with? MF.

If you found out you were pregnant, who would be the first person to know? My husband, but that’s not gonna happen lol.

How old were you when you had your first kiss? Eleven.

Is it awkward when you run into your ex? It would be, but they all live at the opposite end of the country so, luckily, it’s not going to happen ha.

Were you intoxicated the last time you threw up? No. I had a horrendous bug.

Who is your most recent ex? His name is Chris.

Has the person you last kissed taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah sure, we live together.

Have you ever broken anything because you were mad? Yeah.

Do you “blow kisses” often? At the animals yeah, lol.

Do you need to “break up” with a friend? Nope.

[miraculousagentsofkrypton]

Prefacing this by mentioning that Nancy is my favorite character, However, Nancy isn't really shown to be emotionally there for anyone? She is probably one of the most protective and self sacrificial members of the group, so that isn't to say she doesn't care. I personally think that she likely cares too much about others. She doesn't really do much conversing with others, though. She struggles with emotionally vulnerable moments with her boyfriends, let alone anyone else.

None of The Wheelers are good with emotions. Nancy takes this a step further, though, after Barb's death. She withdraws from the world. Not visibly, but socially and emotionally. I, myself, am a highly empathetic person who struggles with how to handle being close to people, and I interpret her in a similar way. I always would have done absolutely anything for my siblings' well-beings, but I did not even talk to them until I was an adult.

I kind of think that the closer she feels to someone, the harder it is for her to be vulnerable. She cares too much, but no one would even know it because she doesn't let them in. She contains a mixture of a generational emotionally stunted family life, survivors guilt, and a large dose of introvert on top.

We get signs (outside of danger) throughout the show of her love for the characters, such as moments of concern for Mike when talking to other characters, and her tender dance with Dustin at the snow ball.

That Nancy and Mike don't seem to show any unique concern within dangerous situations, Im taking as a mix of bad writing and a sign of how their current relationship functions. They don't have a relationship built on much physical contact or emotionally tender moments, but that doesn't mean they didn't check on each other from a distance. I refuse to accept anything less than they felt the solidarity and sibling love through short moments of eye contact and connection.

A perfect example of this is Season 1. Nancy and Mike don't talk about ANYTHING they were going through while stuff was going down. They make an attempt when they come together to help El, but it obviously wasn't normal for them. Focus instead on what they don't say before that. Neither of them are shown to express much concern for the other's missing best friend (they are distant), but they both knew more than they let on. They admitted as such, despite acting as if the other wasn't even on their radar. They recognized the concerning behaviors of the other, if not the cause. They protected each other's secrets, even when they didn't have the full picture of why or what.

Despite their arguments and lack of communication, there was a solidarity between them that only they recognize the true extent of. A type of trust that they don't have with anyone else.

Anyway, as much as I love Big Sister Nancy Wheeler content, and desperately hate how little the Wheeler Siblings interact, it's not entirely a case of Mike being the odd one out for her. It's a case of Mike being the first and most obvious symptom of a larger issue for her. It doesn’t help that Mike exhibits his own form of emotional struggles right back, doubling the issue.

something something nancy is too busy being "big sister" to everyone else in the party that she forgot to be there for mike

[astrobei]

Also any other fanfic writing tips? Do you have thoughts on chaptered fics vs longer one-shots? Do you ever struggle with characters feeling ooc?

I'm working my way up to finishing a couple WIPs and am very very nervous about posting them on ao3 😬😬

ooshdjsfh i think it’s funny when ppl ask me for writing advice bc i am a Mess but i will try my hardest to be helpful w this!

for the first bit, personally i’m a fan of oneshots, both writing and reading (there are exceptions for both ofc!!) just because i usually don’t have the attention span to write or read chaptered fics unless they’re finished and under 5 chapters ! but both of my chaptered fics are/were chaptered literally because i wrote too much to make it a oneshot without it feeling kind of clunky and awkward LOL i don’t usually write fics with big fleshed out plots anyway, and it’s more like a general storyline with a focus on individual scenes instead of the overarching plot, so i’ll write it all in one go! and i always write more than i think i will, so stories i plan to be like 10-15k ALWAYS end up at least 20k somehow 😭 personally i just rly appreciate when chaptered fics are consistent w uploading (as much as possible for the author) because it’s really hard for me to commit otherwise, which is why i don’t rly write them myself!!

and Oh My God anon,, i struggle CONSTANTLY w characters feelings ooc im always so concerned w my mike especially, since so much of s3 and 4 was more will pov and we didn’t get as much of an insight into mike’s internal struggles and thoughts like we did with will (the castle byers scene, van scene, jonathan talk, etc) so i’m always worried that the way i interpret him is not the same way that others might! and characters like lucas and dustin and max are easier since their povs in the show have stayed pretty consistent since their first appearances, and even will is easier for me to write (although i prefer mike which is pretty obvious maybe LOL) but mike Stresses Me Out a lot,, whew !!

if ur having trouble w that my advice (or at least what i do, take it w a grain of salt siskfjsjf) is think whether or not u could imagine this character saying that in the show. like, if this dialogue was added to a scene would it feel weird and out of place? do they usually use words like that? are there words used in the show specific to this character? (e.g: robin with “dingus”) i do take a lot of creative liberty w characters like mike and will especially when writing fluff fics, since so much of s4 and the end of s3 has been Sad and we haven’t gotten much humorous interaction from them, but i always try to ask myself if it’s true to their dynamic. like, mike would never ever pull off being suave and cool (except maybe in will’s unreliable narrator pov) because he gets flustered and is kind of an idiot and will is canonically a little bitchy and a little snarky and one of the only people who can put mike in his place so .

and thinking abt their motivations and Why they act/think the way they do: in byler’s case for example, will is selfless to a fault where he keeps putting other people before him, he’s so scared of his own needs making him selfish or a bad person that he often backpedals too far trying to amend that (s4!!) but he gets frustrated pretty easily (he’s the one that’s Started both of the infamous byler fights, the one that blows up first) and isn’t afraid to call mike out on things !! vs mike who tries really really hard, and has so much love for the people in his life but he’s inexperienced in it and doesn’t know how to show it in the way they want (saying ily to el, being a good friend to will) and a lot of his own inner monologue being fueled by the fear that the people in his life don’t need him anymore and yk . stuff like that . idk i just think abt these things a lot when i write!

anyways i am not qualified in the slightest to give any of this advice so FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS !! but anon if u ever end up publishing those wips (pls do) PLEASE don’t hesitate to drop me a link i’d love to check them out! posting fics can be rly scary but my advice would be to have as much fun with it as u can! play around w tropes and dialogue and writing styles and povs as much as u want. it can be easy to get caught up in writing what u think ppl want to read or thinking u Have to write smth bc someone asked for it but literally just write whatever u want (that’s like . not insane and awful for obvious reasons) and enjoy urself!!

hope this helped !! <3

[descent-into-the-rift]

I kind of like how they show you a contrast between Will and Eleven when Hopper’s talking about change

Before I say anything, I wanna mention this analysis is honestly very influenced by my personal experience as someone who’s had to move away to even different countries more than ten times her whole life. So this is just my take on this scene, from my perspective. Also this is just for fun, and it may have been talked about before, im sorry if it has, i just wanted to add my part to it :)

When they show you Eleven on this, she has the trace of a smile on her face, she looks like she’s contemplating the sunset, and Hopper says:

Life is moving, always moving, whether you like it or not

With that I’m not trying to say Eleven’s happy of leaving her friends behind, of course she’s gonna miss them, but when you think of it for real, Eleven’s been most of her life locked in a laboratory, used and abused, and I can see her being relatively happy and open about leaving Hawkins behind. From what she knows, Brenner is dead, her days in the laboratory are over, in not all but some ways, the case is closed, (even if we know it’s not) and she’s looking forward to living in a new place, away from every bad memory, away from the lab, away from the place where Hopper died, she’s still leaving with people she loves, Joyce, Jonathan, Will (even if there’s still process to work on in their relationship). Hopper never mentions he’s happy about things/life changing, but he’s showing acceptance. Just like she is; the first take of her in the truck is her looking much sadder, and later this take ^ showing it’s not that she’s happy, it’s that she’s accepting it, she’s open to it.

When they show you Will on this, he’s also looking through the window with a face that’s completely opposed to Eleven’s, he’s crying and Jonathan even turns his face to him in concern, meanwhile Hopper says:

I don’t want things to change

On some level, Will does know there’s things he’s leaving open. For starters, on a Byler perspective, he knows he hasn’t told Mike anything about how he’s feeling and now he’s leaving, even if they’re still in touch. I know from close how it haunts you to leave someone you love behind, specially when you never even told them, when you can’t know what their answer would have been, it doesn’t matter if you have a hunch about it, you still don’t know for sure. And from the way I picture Byler, I’ve never felt about anyone the way Will does with Mike, so here’s to assuming it’s even worst for him. Plus his last summer in Hawkins hasn’t been all that great, he’s leaving things a bit torn specially with Mike. And secondly, I don’t know how good Will’s feeling about the whole Upside Down thing being over, what with being connected to it and all, probably the most he could be feeling about it is a hunch, but still.

Either way, it’s unarguable that they’re both leaving a very hard trauma behind, but have particularly different reactions to it, Eleven’s more open (not enthusiastically, but like I said, accepting) about living in a new place, with new people, finding a new comfort with her family. You could say Will just doesn’t want to find any new comfort. 

This may be a reach but in Hawkins he used to get bullied quite a lot but at least he had his friends there, Lucas, Dustin, he had Mike. But now he kinda has no one in his new school, and i know when you get bullied and move away, the fear of it happening again at a new place is there, and it’s big. And assuming Eleven also goes to this school, it’s never established if Will and Eleven are getting along much yet, and if they’re not, then he may not even be considering he’s gonna get along with her (which, excuse me, i hope they do)

(Skip this if you don’t want to know about the Byler side to this) In a more general Byler perspective; If you were to focus on the “them leaving Mike” part, and I am not trying to say Eleven isn’t affected by leaving him, please she loves him, even if it’s more platonic or so, they still love each other. But again, she seems to feel less miserable than Will about it, something you also see after she dumps him/will and mike fight, so it could have the same outcome if she were to definitely break up with him (:her feeling not so torn about it).

I just thought this contrast was nice.

[urdearestmom]

i feel like the reason why mike is so hated by the fandom is that the writers ideolize him a lot and then just don't write him to meet those expectations.

like he's supposed to be the heart, the glue, the hero. and then they make him ignore his friends for eight months. like. what the fuck is up with that??? do they expect me to belive that???

like his behaviour could be explained by all the trauma he's gotten that lead to behavioural issues or something but even that wasn't acknowledged or put as a possibility so far.

and apologising wouldnt really do anything because every single one of his apologies lead to little to nothing changing.

and it makes me so mad because like the way his character is portrayed in earlier seasons and what his friends think of him doesn't really align with that yk? and everyone just hates my protegee mike wheeler because the writers did him dirty.

i feel like he's to worried abt el. which makes sense. all the sense in the world and im not saying he shouldn't. but make him worry abt the rest of his friends out loud too??? especially will??? most of his interactions with people who were not el were just sending will deeper into the friendzone and treating him kinda badly after apologising to him for doing exactly that and it's like. no. he wouldnt do that. wtf.

if i can get past everything wrong that happened in vol2 then i like it. i like it a lot. but seriously????

(i am not blaming this on mike, im blaming this on the writers if that wasn't clear)

I really liked vol 2 but I do have some bones to pick and this is one of them!

Mike gets a lot of flack because he's too complicated an individual to be an immediate fan favourite, the way El is for example. Not to say that she isn't also a complex character, because she DEFINITELY is, just in different ways. A lot of his motivations aren't clear (as opposed to El, whose motivations ARE clear and easy to understand. They have to be because the story doesn't move forward without her) and I don't know if that's because the writers are bad at writing him or if it's on purpose and it's Mike himself who doesn't actually even recognize what's going on with him.

I do think this is a symptom of plot-driven storytelling rather than character-driven. There's so much going on in the plot that they don't have the time to get into each character in depth. What ends up happening is that the characters are used to further the plot instead of the plot happening because of character actions. It starts to cheapen some characters and they become flat (a flat character is a character with little to no complex emotions, motivations, or personality. They also don't undergo any kind of change to make them more well-rounded). I think that's what's starting to happen to Mike and it SUCKS because I love him so much he's great!! They just made him so difficult to understand and then he doesn't have enough screentime to fully be developed (again because there is so much going on in the plot that this just isn't possible). And I get it because he's not the main, but in that case could they make the shorter screentime he has more meaningful?

He definitely does have trauma because they all do. There's no way you can come away from all the shit they've been through unscathed! I've said this on this page before, Mike has seen so much shit and literally nobody ever asked him how he felt about it. Tbh he probably wouldn't even answer completely because when does Mike ever talk about his feelings, but still. A LOT of the way he is is completely reasonable for someone his age who's been through the shit he's been through. People are difficult sometimes. He's also been bullied basically his whole life and I'll tell y'all right now that shit takes a toll on you. I'm 22 and I still struggle with certain things because I spent my whole childhood being bullied too. The writers are just choosing not to address any of it when it's not relevant to the plot because- you guessed it- plot-driven storytelling does that. All the other things that need to happen in the limit of 9 episodes make showing each character's struggles impossible, and since Mike isn't central to the plot (like El always is, and like how Max was this season) he doesn't get to have any of his problems really delved into. The only thing that gave a little insight to his psyche was the Lois Lane bit, but I could write a whole other post about that. I probably will at some point 🤷🏻‍♀️

But you're right when you say he was TOO worried about El and nothing else. He absolutely should have been worried about her and it makes total sense that he was because she's his girlfriend and he's in love with her, but there are other people he cares about too. The only time he really showed that was in episode 4 when the agents were explaining what happened and he said, "My family lives in Hawkins!" Nothing after that, about his family or his friends.

I think Mike as a person definitely was thinking about everybody else, they just didn't show it because that wasn't relevant to the point of his character this season. The whole point of Mike's character this time around was literally just to help El fight Vecna and make Will sadder, lmao. I was waiting for that moment where he usually snaps into action and starts leading everybody into battle with some deranged ass plan! Left me disappointed because it didn't really happen. The Cali crew going to Suzie was like a watered down version of that. I loved the Mileven moments season 4 gave us, but it's still a total disservice to him because people are more than their relationships, but there's that plot-driven storytelling again. Mike IS the heart, he IS the glue, you can tell by the small things his friends say about him or the way they react to him. He just doesn't look like it anymore because the writers don't have the time to show it since they're so busy doing everything else.

Another thing is also that the majority of people who watch this show aren't sitting here analyzing everything. Even if you are a fan, you don't typically think super in depth about characters that aren't your fave (I don't anyway. The only characters I really really think about a lot are Mike, El, and Max). What that can lead to is taking characters at face value instead of thinking about what their reasons for doing/saying a certain thing might be. It makes sense why people are annoyed by/dislike him, though, because he does make a ton of mistakes and he never gets a chance to explain himself properly because the writers don’t give him one :/ Everything is nuanced, people aren't black and white. And it's fine really because this is a tv show and these people are fictional but it does say something about how we react to others around us. Cancel culture is an insidious thing and I think that has a little bit to do with why so many people don't like Mike.

As usual y'all this is me rambling completely unedited so forgive me if it's incoherent LMAO

Thanks for this! Mike Wheeler will be my baby forever even if the writers keep doing him dirty 🥰 that's what my fanfictions are for

[becauseplot]

Oh no XCOM Mike D: at least XCOM Pac saved him (as he should, in every universe).

Alright here we go:

abt the rose---fhdjsk i got so excited that Cellbit had a rose from Death Family that i straight up forgot "oh yeah phil didnt give it to him chayanne did phil didnt even notice lmao" BUT STILL! And yeah from Chayanne it's vvv intentional, because he doesn't just hand people flowers like Tallulah does. not entirely sure where Chayanne and Cellbit stand with each other. Cellbit is his tio ofc but beyond that? idk i dont remember much of their interactions pre egg disappearance. at the very least Chayanne knows that Cellbit is important to Phil so he gets a Rose rose :]

LOVE the idea of Richas nabbing the tea bc he knows his dad is Traumatized. Richas was in purgatory too he knows The Tea and he knows it would bring up bad memories.

exhausted dads being taken care of by their kids we love to see it (yes i have indeed seen your missions list for your au. i actively live in fear of it. i am going to get my Stuff organized and finally write something for archivists i swear <-delulu, been saying this for months)

yeah all around, Cellbit does not like the person he became in purgatory. he does not like himself. and it's so much easier for him to compartmentalize himself into the "good" version of himself (cellbit, quesadilla island) and the "bad" version of himself (cell, the prison and purgatory)**more on this later

yes exactly! Phil isn't a good man, but he can wish good upon others and want to keep them safe.

and it was at this point that i had a whole section written wondering about how Phil would react upon hearing about the shit Cellbit put Pac through, and when he would see Cellbit as "crossing a line" because Cellbit is one of Phil's friends but so is Pac and Cellbit is hurting Pac and etc etc etc and THEN i read down more of what you said and. i was not aware that Phil knew what Cellbit was doing to Pac during Purg1. and never got on Cellbit's case about it. so.

*crumples up paper, tosses it in the bin, pulls out fresh paper*

(is it obvious i didnt actually get to watch a lot of purgatory yet. is it.)

(also the bullet points don't line up with your reblog-post at all anymore im working off of vibes and vibes only)

you're right about the guilt complex, though. if there is ANY conceivable way Phil could have stopped a loved one from going through something, could have protected them, he will mentally shoulder all of the blame. (i can't think of an exact example off the top of my head but you know what im talking about.) he's a very "i should have been there" person, expecting himself to be everywhere at once and protect everyone. yes i am almost certain he lies awake at night thinking about how he should have saved them.

i do think Phil is aware of how much the other bolas members looked up to him, even if he personally doesn't see/understand why. i hate to bring up the fact that they (JOKINGLY JOKINGLY JOKINGLY) called him "dad" as evidence in my point, but come on. he was a guiding influence to them. he spent a good deal of his time in purgatory offering moral support, holding them together. then again if asked he will deny deny deny because he never sees himself as a leader. hrmmm bird man i want to dissect you under a microscope, what are you thinking. either way yes, he'll probably shoulder at least some of the blame here for Cellbit's (and Baghera's) spiral.

PUTTING QCELLBIT ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE FOR TIME OUT UNTIL HE PROCESSES THAT SHIT!! again, it's so much easier for him to compartmentalize than process. like, he says it himself, "i have a new start, i feel like a new person" (<-not exact words, something to that effect) like!! yes he's putting all of that behind him, but he's separating himself into the "better" version (cellbit, quesadilla island) and the "bad" version (cell, alcatraz and purgatory) of himself without realizing like, bro? that is just you? suffering from vast amounts of trauma? and not coping well when shit gets rough? and shoving everyone away when it happens because you hate the "monster" you've become and thus not getting the help and support you need?

you know, thinking about the compartmentalize-and-move-on in the context of his backstory---do you think that's something he learned to do in the war? like, you don't have time to process the dead bodies or the fact that you just nearly had your eye stabbed out or how you just ate a fellow human, you have to run from the people chasing you, line up your next kill, find food, water, survive. and now he's just applying that on a much larger scale, to his life in general. always moving forward, always running never looking back. (<-aw fuck. yeah. as i write this im realizing this is currently a line written in Prime Meridian: "run. don't look back. okay?" i think should work more of this theme into Little Dagger AU)

Getting back on track: "Do you think knowing Philza is more complicated than just a good, protective, strong man would reassure him?" IT COULD!! because yeah, he's struggling with the fact that he's not a "good person at heart" so when things get bad he falls HARD into the "im terrible irredeemable monster i don't deserve to live" mindset, whereas Phil is,,, kind of at peace with it? we don't actually know too much about Phil's backstory pre-island, but yeah, we've gathered details. Cellbit definitely recognizes that Phil isn't always one for "ethical" practices but probably doesn't realize how far that disregard for what is considered "ethical" goes. and if Phil can still hold his family close and freely love and be loved despite it, maybe Cellbit can too.

if Phil's kids can get him to sleep in a proper bed for the first time in months, then he knows that Richas is gonna be the one who's gonna get Cellbit to take care of himself. they're both weak to their kids and Phil knows it.

spinning them around in my brain!!!!!!!!! spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and

*returns to yours* I HAVE THOUGHTS! NOT COHERENT ONES TOO SLEEPY AND NEED TO SAVE COHERENCY BUT THOUGHTS!!! MOSTLY ABOUT ISLAND TEAPARTIES AFTER THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP WHERE CELLBIT AND PHILZA DRINK TEA AND PHILZA TEACHES CELLBIT ABOUT STARS AND CELLBIT SLOWLY GETS BACK INTO HIS ENIGMAS AND THEY BOTH BITCH ABOUT TEA BUT DRINK IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT HAS GOOD STATS

YEAAH!! YEAHHH!!! Okay okay okay so I meant to ramble more earlier when you initially responded to my ask and then I got sleepy and conked out and now it's super early for me, nailed it lmaooo. so anyway just like a couple things i noticed abt this scene *rolls out a scroll of notes, the bottom hits the floor and bounces out the door cartoon-style*

Chayanne gives Cellbit a rose!! Idk if Rose still has influence here (I'll have to sift through Phil's VOD to see if he says anything abt Rose, yesterday I mainly watched Cellbit's POV) but he's protected now!! That kinda folds him into Phil's "closer" circle of friends/family since it's primarily them who carries the roses for protection so!!!!! I'm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE TEA!! Yes the tea the way the tea immediately broaches the topic of purgatory, and yeah the audible wince in Phil's voice after Cellbit says the tea triggers him and Phil agrees. Yeah it's so shit and they're both so sick of it but it's so OP. Phil survivalist (hardcore) :handshake: Cellbit survivalist (hunger games/"The War"), do and use what is necessary to keep yourself alive.

And AAA!! Yes, okay okay so like you remember that idea abt Phil and Cellbit having late-night convos at the Order pre-purgatory? This is basically that!! It's late at night, they're getting caught up with each other, they've both got the shitass tea and it's going cold and!! In my head this scene goes on for a full night and they just sit and talk and talk and talk, eventually conking out when it's late, just like old times EXCEPT THEY HAVE THEIR KIDS NOW WHICH IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT BROUGHT THEM TOGETHER, THEIR DESIRE TO FIND THEIR KIDS, AND THEY FOUND THEM!!! (I should write a fic i NEED to write a fic, me vs the 754389 wips in my brain; in my head they still had late night convos in purgatory when their "play time" timers lined up, phil waking up early enough and cellbit staying up late enough for them to talk while the others slept)

The way Cellbit still minces his words abt what he and Bags did post-purg 1 "we had our fun...bolas...style..." is it because he thinks Phil will think less of him? because there's children present? because his SON is present? idk how much Richas knows abt what Cellbit did in purgatory, Richas *did* rescue him while he was fighting eye workers but does he know about Cellbit hunting fellow players for sport? what Cellbit did to his pai Pac? I NEED ANSWERS

Phil's "Dude! No! Oh my god... D:" to when Cellbit says Roier was better off without him. PHIL WAS AT THEIR WEDDING. HE TOOK THE GODDAMN PHOTOS OF THEM AT THEIR WEDDING. HE SAW HOW HAPPY THEY WERE, HOW HAPPY ROIER WAS, WHEN THEY WERE REUNITED IN PURGATORY. Phil isn't close enough to Roier nor speaks to him enough to really understand the full extent of Roier's grief after purgatory 1, but it's gotta be hard for Phil to imagine Roier happy with Cellbit gone. Whether he believes it when Cellbit says "yeah Roier told me he was better" (doied WHEN I GET YOU---) is up for debate but I think about this constantly.

Phil fucking laughing when Cellbit admits he ate some of the eye workers fhdjsk. I can't get over the combo of Cellbit POV (in character thinking: "I'm terrible I'm a cannibal I'm a monster") vs Philza POV (cc who laughs at everything that is even remotely cursed) honestly, taking this as in-character (bc ccPhil doesn't mute his mic to laugh and he...usually does that for ooc bits while in the middle of rp), it says a lot abt qPhil that he's able to just laugh abt an admission of eating corpses. ethics who? geneva convention who? qPhil doesn't know her. munch on those eye workers king they're dickheads. (fuck, DOES qPhil know that Cellbit is a cannibal, as in, he has eaten not just workers but other players?? hmmm...)

"I'm sorry I couldn't do much as bolas leader" "It's better that you didn't see us...I think you'll be disappointed" "oh I could never be disappointed what do you mean shut up *laughs*" GODDDDDDDD also Cellbit trying to say he got worse after purg 1 and Phil saying "nah bolas is already at ground level" (either not understanding or indirectly reiterating that he won't condemn Cellbit for his actions, I can't tell) and then Cellbit just,, going with it. because it's not worth it to argue and he's trying to move past all of that now anyway. (QCELLBIT PROCESS YOUR TRAUMA CHALLENGE LEVEL IMPOSSIBLE)

watching Phil's POV now and HFDJSK you can't hear it on Cellbit's stream but Phil catches Richas as they're both leaving and says quietly, "Take care of your dad, Richas, n' take care." I'M 💥💥💥💥 (<-banging table)

Anyway!! This is what happens when the two characters I'm obsessed with interact for the first time in months. Over-analyzing a 5 minute convo. Sorry, it will happen again :] Praying they stay as neighbors I'd love to see archivists have more interactions!! And yes yes yes yes the tea parties with the kids!! Phil routinely chatting with Cellbit and watching him slowly "regain his color" as he settles back into peaceful life post-purgatory, falls in love with enigmas again. They've always trusted each other when they don't trust themselves, and they're both a Stable Point for the other. I'll miss what we never got to have with the leaders-of-the-Order-having-meetings ideas (timezones, wails) but I'm so excited for new island mysteries!! :D

[soulwillower]

heart eyes • bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader smut)

requested: no ;)

warnings: swearing, smut, oral (fem receiving), body worship!!, fluff, road trip w the losers, underage drinking, body shots, praise kink bc its me, a lil dirty talk, this one is kinda tame, its fluffy :) ALSO THIS IS SO UNEDITED SORRY

i was going through all my writing and i found this smut i wrote a while ago!! im p sure its the first smut i ever wrote n i never posted it, i figured i would rn :)

[losers + reader are aged up 18+ in this.]

6.2k words lol

♡

“i mean this trip would’ve been fun, no matter what. listen! guys, i love you! and... and i fucking love that we don’t always have to be inebriated to have fun.” stan exclaims, gangly limbs sprawled on the floor as ben starts giggling. stan pays no mind, “but listen, listen. i am soooo happy that we brought this stuff though, you know?” stan continues to babble on drunkenly, eliciting giggles from all the kids in the room. he’s waving an almost empty bottle of smirnoff. you giggle softly.

thankfully, ben had actually managed to sweet talk a coworker from the diner in order to score the losers a few handles of alcohol, and you’d nearly finished off the smirnoff and all are a few hearty swigs into the bottle of strawberry burnett’s and fireball.

your cheeks are very red.

you know your cheeks are burning.

but bill’s loose arm around your waist has your skin burning even hotter. you don���t want to think of it as anything more than platonic, because with a quick glance to your right, you see his other arm holding eddie in the same fashion. you're just friends, and always have been.

bill is just a very outgoing and flirty person when drunk.  

and if you had voiced this aloud, bill denbrough would probably have had to agree. he barely felt his arm where it lay across eddie, but his arm that was cradling you feels like it is dead weight.

god, he’s got it so fucking bad for you. the conversation lulls as a familiar tune plays through the speaker, making most losers scrunch their nose and laugh. y/n and richie, as always, have other plans.

not even a measure into the song, richie screeches and pulls you into his chest, already swaying you as your alluring voices blend together as perfectly as they always do.

the two drunkenly sing together for the entire duration of the song, serenading each other in a sweet, albeit weird (in a way, bill decides, that only richie and you can achieve) fashion. the lanky boy twirls you around, and you're giggling and laughing and smiling so brightly, and the others are all smiling happily.

and bill just knows, looking from richie’s face, to stan, then mike, bev, ben, and then to eddie right next to him, that everybody in the room has just fallen a little more in love with you.

you're a fucking angel. just like heaven…

and, knowing deep down that it was highly unlikely, bill still hoped he could some day call that angel his own.

-

bill takes a moment to breathe as the seven of his best friends huddle in the weak circle they’ve formed after quite a few drinks.

the speaker plays soft music. the kind of music - you recall loudly to everyone with a smile - that ‘stanny’ plays in his own car on days in the summer when he lets you roll down the passenger side window and stick your feet out as they speed down the town roads.

“you know why-“ mike starts, interrupting himself with a hiccup. he giggles, and bill smiles. “-you know why i love you?” he says, question directed at ben. ben chuckles, face red from the contents of his near empty cup, and shrugs.

“no, wait, i’m not drunk enough for the sappy stuff.” you whine, biting your lip as you glances over to bill.

he averts his eyes, chastising himself in his head immediately after for being a little schoolboy.

“fine, y/l/n. truth or dare?” mike says with a cheeky smile. richie hollers and you scoff, shaking your head. across the room, eddie does the same.

“c’mon, mikey… i haven’t played that since sophomore year.” you say, face revealing a teasing smile which betrays your tone. bev shrugs, leaning back into ben’s chest. “dunno, could be fun.” she says.

bill watches closely as y/n sends a long look to bev, who shoots her best friend a suggestive glance.

bill wishes sometimes that he could hear beverly and y/n’s thoughts and secret conversations, but after a flash memory of the time when he walked in (after listening to silence for nearly three minutes before entering) on the two girls staring at the other in complete silence, he shivers and retracts that wish.

those girls were creepily telekinetic.

y/n’s sigh pulls bill back to earth. “fine.” you say, rolling your eyes and sounding bored. bill knew better than to believe y/n could really be bored. he stares at your body as you take a hefty swig from your cup, wiping your mouth and slurring, “truth.”

“out of all the people in this room, whose clothing style would you choose to swap with?” mike asks after some moments of silence. you look like you're thinking very, very hard and this makes bill laugh in drunken stupor. his friends shoot him a confused look, but attention quickly lies back on y/n.

“stan, maybe. or eddie bear.” y/n says, flopping into eddie’s lap, making him blush and card his fingers through your hair. “I love all those cute shorts.” you say, throwing a wink in richie’s direction.

bill has to laugh at the expression on the curly haired boy’s face. he has to admit, though, that eddie looks fucking great in those shorts. the two boys both respond idly, though, and the game continues, getting dumber and more risqué the more drinks they share.

mike admits to wearing briefs over boxers, bev admits that the first girl she kissed was y/n. ben has to jump into the broken hot tub, and eddie takes a body shot off of richie.

"bill, who do you think is the best kisser?" bev smirks, shooting a look that he doesn't understand but, on a much more transcendental level, understands too well.

"if you don't say me, i'll be mad." richie says, making kissy faces that make ben push the side of his face away with a chuckle. bill laughs lightly, but his lips move quicker than his brain. "y/n, probably."

seven pairs of eyes land on him and he blinks, face heating until he's surely a tomato. "wh-what? you a-asked." he says awkwardly, and to change the subject, stan clears his throat, "y/n's turn!"

bill shoots him a grateful look, but stan gives him a stare that screams make a move, dumbass.

"okay, dare." you mumble, cheeks slightly dark and a sweet grin on your lips.

“'kay. i dare you...” richie trails off as something catches his drunken eyesight away in the kitchen. he starts to giggle to himself, then. “take a body shot off of bill.” he says, pointing a bony finger at the innocent girl to bill’s left.

bill’s face pales at this, but the liquid courage has him pulling off his shirt at the encouragement of the others merely moments later.

“i’ve yet to take an actual body shot before.” y/n mumbles, explaining how you've always done them off shoulders or necks.

“lick, shoot, suck.” bill mumbles, staring at the ceiling. bill hears bev giggle quietly.

“don’t forget that last part, y/n.” richie piped up from across the room, the words being followed by a thud and a soft grunt.

“i couldn’t if i tried, rich.” you mumbles as your face comes into view. bill can only smirk up at you when he feels liquid pour into his navel.

“he’s gotta be flexing right now. there’s no way he’s that naturally ripped!” richie complains, his voice looted in a joke. ben laughs as bev slaps richie’s arm.

"sh-shut up, richie." bill mutters with an easy grin.

bill slips a lime wedge into his mouth and his tongue falls upon the rind, tasting the muted citrus flavor as salt is sprinkled in the stretched of his skin between his belly button and his waistband.

 if he wasn't drunk, he'd be a blushing mess.

and he has to try harder than he's ever tried for anything in his entire life to not get hard as you suddenly lean over him, your hot tongue poking out to lick a stripe up the salt.

 he suppresses a groan and then you shoot the shot from his stomach, everyone screaming and cheering and laughing. you're laughing too, and bill's shocked into a stupor by how casually and effortlessly beautiful you are.

you're leaning towards his face now, a soft smile on your face as your lips fall to pluck the lime from his mouth. but before you pull all the way back, he feels your soft lips touch his around the wedge and his whole body ignites, cheeks turning red.

but just as quickly as you were there, you're gone and he's left with the faint taste of lime and a heaving chest, the feeling of your tongue on his body ingrained into his mind.

-

it was about thirty minutes later that all the losers retreated to their rooms to pass out, bill following you a few steps behind. of course, when eddie and bev had planned the sleeping arrangements, they'd insisted that you two share a room. not that he's complaining, not at all.

bill barely gets a minute into the door before you're turning and stepping closer to him. his hands fall to your arms, in his mind as an excuse to steady you, but he knows its because he really just wants to feel you in his arms.

“do you really want to kiss me?” you purr, voice uncharacteristically quiet. and wow, that was out of left field. bill almost laughs, but refrains in case the inebriated girl in his arms took it the wrong way.  “yes, y/n. a-always.”

you beam, a slight hiccup escaping your cherry lips as you get on your tippy toes. you're still half a head shorter than him even on your tips.

his heart thumps as he takes in your beautiful features up close, and he longs to feel your lips against his.

but, instead he shakes his head gently through his drunken state. your face falls and you step back. bill swears the angel’s wings start to droop and wilt as you seem to sober up slightly. you look sad and embarrassed and bill’s heart shatters a fragment.

“y-you’re drunk.” he says lamely, wishing that own his drunk eyes would get on board with his brain and quit running over this girl’s beautiful face and enticing curves. “w-we both a-are.” he adds, biting his lip.

you huff, turning around and bending over to pull sweats out of a drawer. “okay,” you mumble and he can’t read your voice much but he can tell you're upset.

in a drunk thought, he realizes he may never fully understand you.

bill bites his lip at the sight of your perky ass displayed like that in front of him and he wants to smack himself as he feels the familiar heat in his abdomen, turning around to give you privacy as you change.

he doesn’t turn around, as much as you both want him to.

richie once claimed that bill was hornier than he was, and while then he’d laughed especially hard at that claim, bill currently cursed richie a million times for being correct.

“would you reconsider if we were sober?” when a hand lands on bill’s shoulder, he turns to see you staring up at him, wearing a plain blue and white baseball tee and sweats.

it’s quiet for a moment. y/n holds your breath. bill himself lets out a breath after a moment. “you’re fucking beautiful.”

it’s not an answer to your question, even, but he says it before he even realizes it and the look on your face suddenly makes bill wish he could say things like that without stuttering forever if it meant it made you feel like that.

you turn bright red, head dropping down bashfully. you fail to hide your smile drop, though, and it makes bill feel slightly sick. “you don’t have to say that bill.” you whisper, sounding insecure. and then you slip under the dark green duvet of the bed.

bill tells himself that if he were sober, he’d speak up; have the courage to say all the things to you that his mind is constantly screaming.

you are fucking beautiful, everybody knows it..

all our friends see it...

mike once told me you were the hottest person in the school and that was before we even met you, now he also claims you’re the most thoughtful person in existence...

ben thinks you might be the smartest person in our generation...

bev is confident that you are going to change the world some day...

richie calls you his platonic soulmate...and says that you have second most  rockin’ bod (second only because he’s trying to mack on eddie)...

eddie tells me every day how much he looks up to you and how much he admires your strength...

stan once told me that he’d marry you in a heartbeat...

(i think i’m falling for you...)

(and i hope you feel the same...)

your eyes look so innocent...but i know you’re not...

your lips look like they taste like candy...

you are so fucking pretty...

i want to put my dick in your mouth-

his last thought snaps him out of his drunken stupor and he quickly pulls on flannel pants and tugs off his shirt, not missing y/n’s eyes on his bare torso as he pulls on a shirt.

bill. you’re drunk, go to sleep, asshole.

he lays on the edge of the bed, turning off the lamp light and rubs his eyes. your eyes are closed, and you lay on your side, back facing him.

“i’m lucky t’have you, billy. we all are.” you mumble, and bill doesn’t even fight the bashful smile that climbs onto his face. you can’t seem him, anyways.

“g’night, billy.” you finish dreamily, snuggling the comforter and making bill swoon in the dark.

“g-goodnight, y/n.” he says quietly.

-

the next night was much more tame; the losers were worn out after a day of exploring and decided to go to the outdoor pool in the backyard of the b&b you'd rented. 

you sit on the couch by yourself, knowing bill was in your room because he didn't feel like swimming.  

but you were nervous to go in there, because you and bill hadn't been alone since last night when you'd basically confessed to him. and yeah, he'd sort of confessed back, but you could tell he was just trying to be considerate and not make it awkward for you or the rest of the losers.

with a sigh, you rising to your feet and padding to the closed door. soft music plays from the other end of the door and you smile as you hear bill hum quietly to bowie.

when you push the door open, bill’s figure is silhouetted by the faint orange glow that soaks the bedroom in gold and yellow light. crossing through the doorway softly, bill lifts his head and smiles softly.

you bite your lip at bill, who is sat dumbly on the edge of the bed, and it's quiet for a few moments but you know you're both thinking the same thing.

he stands to meet you only a few paces from his doorway, and he's so close to you that you have to tilt your head and stare up at him through dark lashes. his breath comes out like a whisper, and you feel desperate to know his lips again. but not like last night. you want all of him now - always. sober, drunk, sick, healthy, forever.

“bill..” you start, doe eyes searching his, as if trying to read him. he looks like he doesn’t know what to say because you both know the reason that your friends made you sleep together on this trip in this dim room and why he’s looking at you the way he is.

“please...” he whispers, a half smile on his face. his own voice cuts through the faint music playing through the silence. your lips lift in a smile at this. bill thinks you look the most beautiful he’s ever seen you.

he didn’t say anything but a plea, and yet you both know exactly what he’s saying. 

your heart soars, and you grab his neck and he crashes his lips to yours desperately, letting out a quiet moan of relief.

you’ve never had somebody like him. of the few relationships you’d managed to keep up for a decent amount of time, you've never known someone like you know him - he's your best friend, the most important person in your life, and your first real love.

that used to scare you, but as you reach your hand to grasp his neck and pull him closer, you realize that this feeling in your stomach may not be as dangerous and innapropriate as previously thought.

because bill denbrough kisses like he’s taking his dying breath, like he’s drowning and you're the last bit of air left in the entire world. he kisses you like a starved writer desperate for a muse. his adamant tongue parted your shaking lips and sent tremors along your skin, as you clutch his chest.

his hands start on your cheeks, his thumbs rubbing your cheekbones as he tilts your head gently to deepen the kiss.

slowly, just as slowly as you fell for him, he slides his hands down your sides and grips your lower back with one large hand, the other squeezing your hip as he pulls your hips to him.

when you pull away for a second, he’s got an earth shattering, face-blinding smile on his lips that almost makes you want to cry.

you've never felt this breathless in your life, especially just by one boy, and all you can do is allow him to press you against dresser and catch your lips with his. his lips slot against yours hotly, moving with a kind of boyish expertise that makes your fingers tingle from all the way up to where they're nestled into his hair.

his plump red lips, slick and glossy, pull away from you and you watch with your hands carded through his auburn hair as he ducks slightly lower and kisses your jawline and your legs feel like jelly because you cannot believe it's happening. a song still plays through bill’s speakers.

one of your hands runs down his clothed chest and you gasp, having to bite back a squeal of pleasant surprise when one of his hands squeezes your ass. at your yelp of pleasure, bill chuckles and then his teeth bite down on the hollow of your throat.

he lifts his head to meet your eyes but doesn’t apologize, instead opting to shoot you a cocky lift of a brow at your reaction.

but before you can even roll your eyes, his lips are back to working magic and you're breathless, the heat in your stomach coiling and making you desperate.

you quietly moan his name as his tongue follows in his teeth’s wake; your neck slowly becoming the most beautiful piece of art bill has ever created.

eventually he raises his head again, his green eyes stuck on your neck, admiring the thunderstorm he’s started, and its everything you can do to not collapse when you get the courage to push bill softly and walk him towards his bed, your lips pressing needily to his.

bill gently spins on his heels around you and pushes you instead onto the mattress, and you're suddenly laying below him with wide eyes.

and you're grabbing his flannel and tugging him on top of you.

for a while, as bill holds himself up above you with his forearms, all that either of you can hear is the melodic tune of heart eyes by coin flowing from bill’s speakers and the sweet noise of their hands exploring each other.

honestly, the first time was unintentional.

while trying to move up, bill slowly rocks his hips against you. you gasp at the feeling of his semi-hard on pressing against your core, and bill almost moans at the noise of you alone.

a small moan escapes your throat again when he does it once more and he pulls away, clearly trying to hide his smug expression.

his eyes trail to your button up, admiring the trail of blossoming hickies reaching from below your jaw to the hem of your sweater, near the top skin of your breasts.

“c-can i?” he asks softly, and your face flushes pink as you nod shyly.

his hands reach out and slowly he undoes the buttons of the sweater, lips pressing sweetly on each bit of skin exposed as he slips the sweater off your frame. his lips against your skin leaves goosebumps in their wake.

you swoon at this action, but as the garment falls from your shoulders, you cross your arms and looks away softly.

“you don’t have t-to huh-hide from me, sweetheart.”

a piano melody plays softly in the background as bill coos quietly, turning your jaw with his forefinger so you're forced make eye contact. “hey. you’re s-so perfect. a-and i’m so fucking l-lucky.” he whispers sincerely.

and even through the expiring sunlight, the golden streams illuminating your face reveal a smile- a genuine, toothy, blushy, bashful smile that makes bill beam in return.

“please. luh-let me show you how m-much you mean.” he whispers.

you're glad you have enough self control to not burst out crying at bill’s words. if you were unsure if he wanted you before, this was the confirmation you knew you didn’t even need. and you love it all the same.

“please,” you whine softly, blushing harder at the pure look of love and lust on bill’s handsome face.

as his lips and hands flutter around your torso, you take in his figure and the god-like aura created by the music and the atmosphere of the world around you.

one word keeps circulating through your head, and as his fingers softly pinch your left nipple, you mewl and pull him up for a passionate kiss, deciding to let the word sit pretty in your mind.

you trails your fingers along the hem of his shirt and he leans back to let you unbutton it slowly. your lips find themselves against his hot skin, trailing in small kisses and bites down his chest as they follow your nimble hands. you cherish his smooth skin and taught muscles.

he soon turns to catch your lips with his, this time feverishly and deeply. he feels hungry against your lips, his tongue winning dominance instantly and smoothing around your mouth as he sighs against you, his hips rocking against you as your hands roam from his hair to his back and chest.

he pulls away, hands trailing down to your jeans, lips following his hands yet again, slower this time.

you whimper quietly at the feeling of white hot pleasure coursing through you and bill shoots you a smirk. “e-everybody is o-outside, y/n/n. we can be as loud as w-we want.” he says in a low tone, and you bite your lip in bliss. you feel yourself get wetter at his words, his voice sounding like royal velvet.

he stops his lips right at the button of your pants. “do yo-you want this?” he asks, his eyes welcoming, and you knows that if, for some absurd reason, you didn’t want him right now (or ever, honestly) you could be honest and he would be forever respectful of that.

“yes, bill. please.” you plead, hands carding into his hair as you watche him smile from in between your legs.

you watch as he unbuttons your jeans, sliding them off and tossing them somewhere across the room. you have to bite back a giggle at the boy's eagerness and he bites his lip as he stares up at you, green eyes sparkling and true as his head sinks lower.

he kisses the inside of your knees slowly, trailing his lips closer and closer to the apex of your thighs where you need him the most before switching to the other side. you groan at his teasing and his quiet huff of a laugh leaves his lips and fans over your thigh.

he’s done this before, it’s obvious.

and it’s probably also very obvious to bill that you are not used to this kind of praise, this kind of approval, and this much intimate attention on your own body. he loves it - loves that he can finally show you how you deserve to feel after years of watching you, his best friend, and waiting for the day that he could put his lips on yours.

his lips finally press a soft kiss over your red lace-clothed clit, and you let out a strangled moan, hips jilting involuntarily at the tease.

his eyes meet yours and all he does is wink.

cocky bastard, you think as bill slides your lace undies off your legs.

it suddenly dawns on you that you're completely naked and vulnerable in front of this boy, and yet somehow you feel more comfortable and at home than you've ever felt in a situation like this.

and you're not totally sure when exactly that fucking word starts to circulate in your mind again- perhaps it is when he licks the first, bold stripe from your entrance up to your clit, or maybe it’s when he uses one hand to gently pin your hips down while his tongue does wicked tricks. or perhaps it’s when he first slips a single finger in.

or maybe that word has been there, hiding in your mind, on the tip of your tongue, the whole time.

but you suddenly can’t think of anything besides bill, because he’s building a rhythm with his tongue and fingers and you know that if anyone is awake in the house besides you, they’d know exactly what was happening in your room currently. and you can't find it to care as you look down at bill, eyes staring back at you with a cocky look on his face as his face is buried in your heat.

your wild moans pick up in pitch and you clench around his fingers tightly, the feeling of bliss having never felt this strong before. your toes curl and you let out whimpers, one hand tangling in his lush hair and the other twirling in the sheets.  

his fingers pick up pace, curling and pumping in and out of you as he sucks your clit.

“bill, fuck, i’m close-“ you start, groaning in pleasure as he smirks slightly. you whimper when he pulls back, a devious smirk playing on his shiny, slick lips, his fingers sliding out of your heat. you groan at the sight of him, shirtless and hair missed up from your fingers, his mouth sinfully shiny from your juices.

he reaches his hand up to you and obediently you take his fingers into your mouth, sucking and licking up yourself from him. he watches with his mouth slightly open and eyes dark. "g-good girl, y/n."

the sharp warmth in your chest and the heat straight down to your center show you how much you like his words, and you preen when he tucks your hair behind your ear. "you taste p-perfect, baby." he whispers into your ear, your jaw going slack in shock that words like that would dare fall from his lips, your thighs clenching together. you bite back a moan at the feeling, wanting nothing more than for bill to fill you up and make you scream his name.

it doesn’t get long before you pull him out of his boxers, and soon you're rolling a condom onto his hard cock.

you almost, almost blush when your mouth waters at the sight of bill’s cock, hard, leaking with precum, and much larger than you'd anticipated.

rich was fucking right, you think, they do call him big bill for a reason.

he’s looking at you like you're the only thing that matters as you pull him onto you. he's letting out breathy moans that you realize you could listen to on repeat forever.

but suddenly he’s pushing you hard against the mattress, kissing you like a sailor returning to see his first love, and he’s lining himself up at your entrance, slowly teasing your entrance with his tip. you whimper at the feeling, your over-sensitive clit throbbing as you tug at his shoulders. he grins into your mouth. "u-se your words, baby." he mutters, and you go red.

“god, bill, please fuck me. need it so bad." you whimper breathlessly. he smiles at you, kissing your nose.

"i kn-know you do." he mutters and you want to smack the back of his head but then he pushes in agonizingly slow and you're gasping.  simultaneously, you suck in breaths at the sensation, eyes staring deep into each other. his are lidded and yours are blown wide, taking him and whimpering at the feeling of him stretching you out.  

you can feel the blush on your cheeks when you realize this is one of the most intimate experiences you've ever had in your life. and when bill's finally buried to the hilt inside you, you let out a low moan at the feeling.

thank god he warmed you up so well, because he was big and felt perfect buried inside you like this, his lips ghosting over your face as you clench your legs around his hips. his fingers rise to roll on your nipple and you let out a gasp of pleasure followed by a small moan of his name. he lets out a shuttering breath into your collarbone as your nails dig into his shoulders.

“please, bill, move. please, fuck, i need it-“ you beg, eyes closed in need and lust.

you feel a strong hand grab your jaw suddenly, and your voice stops as you open your eyes to be met with deep green ones shining fiercely.

“look at me wh-while i fuck you.” he says, more a command, and you involuntarily moan at his words. 

 the power he has over you feeling foreign and incredibly enticing. never did you expect for bill denbrough to be anything more than vanilla in bed - but you're all here for it as you look back at him submissively, trying to hide your smile.

you keep your eyes on him as he pulls out just as slowly as he eased in, before pushing soundly back into you and coaxing a long, low moan from your lips. your head dips back, your spine curving and eyes fluttering before snapping back to his. he starts to thrust as you've adjusted to his size and you can feel him filling you up perfectly, the feeling euphoric. your toes curl in pleasure and you determine that his melodic moan itself could push you over the edge right now.

he builds a rhythm, your legs tightening around his waist as his lips catch yours in a searing kiss. "y-you're so fucking g-good for me, huh?" he asks, but the feeling of him fucking you into the mattress renders you almost speechless, your lips in an 'o' shape as you watch him. you nod, whining as your hands roam his chest and slide to his back.

"god, yes, bill. don't stop," you say breathlessly, whimpering as you pull him down to you by the neck. he kisses you soundly as he pounds into you, his hands roaming your body and making you blush.

you feel a familiar warm feeling in your abdomen after a couple deep thrusts and you moan out as he lifts your legs slightly to hit another angle. “f-fuck...” he mutters, eyes trailing over your whole body yet never shying from your face for more than a few moments.

and now the word lingers in your mouth, on the tip of your tongue, but you're in so much pleasure that you can’t form words that aren’t his own name as they leave your mouth like a prayer.

his thrusts are deep, rough, and yet somehow sensual as if he’s trying to convey thoughts or feelings through his actions, and the combination has you slamming your hand over your mouth to conceal your loud moans, eyes finding his as you remember his previous words.

his eyes make you feel more special than any other human on this earth ever has. you've had a fair share of sexual encounters, but never have you ever experienced something like this with someone like your bill denbrough.

and as one hand grasps your breast and the other holds himself above you, his lips pressing against yours like he’d die if he wasn’t touching you, bill can tell that you're close. “y-you close, baby?” he purrs in your ear, and through his thrusts you can only nod your head and mewl.

his hand suddenly grabs your hands and lift them up above your head, pinning them there and rendering you unable to move our touch him; the feeling of being restrained makes you moan wantonly, moving your hips with his. he hums deeply, a delicious sound, "oh, you l-like that, y/n/n? g-good, so g-good." and then he moans into your collarbone. his words and the feeling of him hitting the perfect spot inside you, fucking you deeper than you could imagine, has you nearing the edge.

his large thumb snakes it’s way into your mouth then, and you look up in his eyes as your lips wrap around his digit. he groans, hips stuttering inside you. "good g-girl." he mutters, eyes glued to your lips as they suck on his thumb.

he drags his thumb out of your mouth and you release with a small pop. he lowers his hand, moving it down to rub sensual figure-8’s on your clit, a stark and delicious contrast to his hip’s motions. you yelp in pleasure, your sensitive clit throbbing.

“c-cum for me.” he whispers, and you're wrecked. your climax, after a slow, burning build, hits you hard and you clench around him, moaning out his name as your eyes barely stay locked on his. your voice cracks in pleasure as your body pulses in pleasure.

bill cums not even three thrusts after, a mess of groans and your name falling from his lips. he pulls out and you quietly hiss at the sudden absence of him, watching with exhausted eyes as bill tosses his condom and turns back to you.

you're fucked out and so out of breath that all you can do is grasp bill’s hand. he smiles softly at your naked, glowing form as the last of the afternoon light seeps through the windows.

he pulls on boxers quickly, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before disappearing out of the room, leaving an empty feeling in the hollow of your stomach.

you're pretty was used to the people you sleep with not wanting to stick around much, and yet you can’t help the deflation in your chest as bill leaves the room. is he going to sleep on the couch? was it that bad for him?

you pull on underwear just as he comes back in, a cup of water in his hands.

when he softly offers it to you, you tear up slightly but cover it up with a yawn. you know you've never had someone care this much about you. that word lingers on the tip of your tongue, begging to drip from your mouth like honey.

“y-you tired?” bill asks shyly, his body dipping down as he sits next to you. you wonder why bill all of the sudden is acting so shy- as if he didn’t just provide the most incredible sex of your life.

“you wore me out.” you says with a little smile as you lean slightly against him and kiss his cheek.

his cheeks blossom at the simple affection. "i love you." he says suddenly, no stutter. his eyes widen in shock as he realizes what he'd just slipped.

you turn to look at him and he's bright red, looking more scared than you've ever seen him. you can't help your smile, though. "bill... i love you too." you admit, stomach fluttering in excitement. he smiles softly, exhaling, "h-holy shit, thank god. that would have m-made the rest of this t-trip so a-awful."

you giggle, hand falling to his jaw. "i love you so much." you mutter, pulling him down with you so your heads hip the pillow, his hands falling on your bare hips as you kiss sweetly. you can't stop smiling into the kiss, and neither can he, so it's full of quiet laughs and teeth knocking, noses brushing together.

"i love y-you so much, y/n." he whispers into your lips, his mouth wide with a dopey smile. you smooth the hair from his eyes and kiss him again. "be mine, p-please."

"i already am, denbrough." you whisper softly.