#in the same way I refer to my own attraction as universally 'gay' :P

[fireheartwraith]

So, I decided to watch Fate: The Winx Saga after some deliberation (I saw the trailer and it looked cool). As I never watched the original Winx Club, I'm coming into this pretty much blind to the lore, so if you want to know what someone that doesn't have the "it's different from what I wanted" baggage thinks of the show, let's go!

Episode 1 and Episode 2

• Ooh, this is giving me flashbacks to my first day of university... Luckily Pedro is a good soul and saw me just standing there and asked me if I was a freshman (yes), if I was lost (very much so) and if I wanted help (please)

• I can tell the the show wants me to ship these two because meet cute but... I didn't think it was cute. He was kind of rude in the beginning and it wasn't *sparkles* it was small talk. My talk with Pedro was pretty much the same, except he was nicer. Being a decent person doesn't mean romantic attraction, Show, if you want me to ship this you will have to try harder

• Oh, he's the ex

• Something tells me Stella wasn't this bitchy on the original show. I am not here for the female rivalry, specially if it's because of a basic white dude

• I have never related to someone as much as I relate to Terra since I too tend to talk too much, too fast, and overshare to make up for my insecurities and anxiety. My mom is the plant gal though...

• I want a succulent!

• Bloom, who the heck talks on the phone with the speaker turned on in a room full of people you don't know???? Show wants me to believe you're an introvert when you pull this shit???

• I love Aisha

• I also love Musa

• Is a burned one kind of like a werewolf? Where if it scratches you, you turn into one? If that's the case, is there a way to get them conscious again? Like the wolfbane potion in Harry Potter

• I'm gonna pretend everyone is over 18 bacause I can't handle another Riverdale

• ........ everything changed when the fire nation attacked

• I'm sorry but you can't talk to me about the elements and expect me to not think about atla

• Being an empath in high school must suck. All that teenage angst....

• Changeling! Makes sense. My bet is that her father is the leader of the burned ones and the principal is her mom

• I get that she's missing home and normality but her mom was a bitch

• I'm glad they revealed this now and not at the end of the season, when literally everyone would know

• Stella quit being a bitch

• I expected the princess of Solaria to be a fire fairy, not an air one....

• Riven and Beatrix deserve each other

• Protect my gay baby!!

• MAGIC LESSONS

• Bloom needs to meditate and Stella needs to chill

• What kind of human parents name their child Bloom??? Aisha sounds like a human name, not fucking Bloom. I bet it's a white people thing, like Ashleigh

• Stop being mean to Aisha and Terra! They're just trying to help!

• Musa really found the one bitch in this place that doesn't have anxiety and went 👀 huh

• No! Don't use anger! Are you the only kid that never watched A:TLA?? Have you learned nothing from Zuko???

• No! Don't follow the whispery voice in the woods! That's how people get killed in horror movies!

• Oop, that's a lot of bodies

• Something tells me that burning a burned one isn't going to help

• Aisha to the rescue!

• Gross

• SO THERE IS A POTION

• Silva is a really common surname here in Brazil.... We're fairies confirmed

• Oh, they are going to pretend that Sam being Terra's brother is drama worthy huh

• Stella quit being a bitch /rt

• Yes! BOND

• huh

• That's different

Episode 3

• Have I already said that Aisha is the best??

• I still don't get what the specialists are. One the first episode Sky told Bloom "you are a fairy" as if he isn't one, and the only thing I've seen specialists do so far is fight with sticks. What are they doing in magic school?

• So, Silva can't get better until the burned one that infected him is dead? I'm pretty sure there's something like this in vampire or werewolf lore

• Is Silva Sky's dad or something?

• MAGIC LESSONS

• Don't go to the dark side Bloom! Beatrix bad!

• How many headmasters does this school have??

• Oh yeah, this dude is evil too. I forgot he existed

• Uh, do all hetero coupled do cringey shit like that?

• My mom starts talking to me about something she was thinking about as if I have the context ALL THE TIME!! We're all Terra #PowerToTheNerds

• But I'm more of a coffee addict than a tea aficionado

• Oh thank god they are using km

• RIP Silva

• Aaawww suite to the party!

• Okay but grown ups gossiping while being 100% of what the youngsters are trying to hide is my favorite trope ever

• All these pop songs are going to age the show

• Terra that was so awkward omg

• What the fuck Stella???

• How old do fairies get? Like, do they live for centuries?

• Is it bad that I discovered what shotgunning is through a smutty wolfstar fanfic? 😬

• Rosalind? Former headmistress Rosalind?

• Oop, another dead body

• Oop, Silva..... F 😔

• Bloom can't you listen to Aisha for once??? You are going to get yourself killed

• That's a sweater, not armor

• Because that's not creepy at all

• You could at least have phoned a responsible adult before running off into the forest looking for a toasted slender man

• Your suite mates don't qualify as responsible adults but it's better than nothing I guess

• Oh look, a portal to another dimension!

• Look! A responsible adult!!

• Oh, he's still alive

• Oh wait, nevermind

• Did she just Thanos him?

• Hugs!

• I still don't get what the specialists are

• My best friend in high school was adopted so I'm having flashbacks... Her birth parents got in contact after almost two decades of radio silence. It was a very difficult time for her, with lots of different and sometimes opposite emotions about the whole thing. In the end she accepted that whatever happened, happened and that the mom that raised was her real mom, no matter her faults. I hope that Bloom can get to the same conclusion

• Alright, I wasn't expecting Rosalind to be in magic cryogenic coma

• Why can't they meet? Is Rosalind evil or something?

Episode 4

• At least now Bloom is aware that her friends have their own lives and aren't they just to be her sidekicks

• Girls sticking together!

• Still don't get why Musa needs to hide her relationship with Sam.... If I was Terra I would be more upset that my friend was hiding the relationship from me than the relationship itself

• Last episode was Sky's daddy issues, so this one is Stella's mommy issues. And, of course, the whole show is about Bloom's issues (general)

• The Queen of Solaria is named Luna?? Huh

• This episode is also about snooping

• I'm going to find whoever thought hdr was good idea and force them to watch something on Netflix when the screen is so dark you can barely see what's happening

• I'm going to pretend that's a p!atd reference

• I'm going to pretend I didn't hear 2004

• Can the camera stop spinning, I'm getting dizzy

• Anakin noooo

• Rehabilitation magic?

• So Queen Kindness is not so nice after all

• I want to give Sky points for figuring it out but let's be honest here, it was not that hard

• When did they name themselves "Winx"? And what does that even mean?

• ANAKIN NO

• Good for you sky

• Yes! Tell the responsible adults!

• Push her

• So your parents were from Aster Dell

• Well they both are redheads

• Oh sweet Anakin...

• SEE???

• Silva that's shady as fuck

That's all for now! I will watch the rest, but don't know if I should make another post or just edit this one...

[lifesliced-a]

i’m going to be talking more about ren and hina with their individual and combined experiences since japan’s laws on prostitution give some leeway to the sex industry as a whole. obviously the below content warnings are due to them being of a sexual nature, so discretion advised. 

that being said, i’m aiming to take this from a respectful and technical approach to a character that lives a very different life than some of the other characters on this blog. also this is really, really long. i tried to do my research here as well as tie my character into all that research.

HOST STUFF / REN’S MANAGEMENT OF THE CLUB:

hina and ren have a small age difference of just a year, both having gotten into the industry at a young age ( both 18 ) .

as a host, ren is pretty strict in the day-to-day about hosting. it is exactly as it seems: he hosts and he manages the club.

it’s smoke and mirrors basically, catering to having drinks, flirting with customers, and basically entertaining them. a host can touch the patron, but usually not the other way around. ren is a little less strict to this in his own management of shining!, so long as it falls under the guise of socially appropriate ( returning a gesture from a host for instance, or a hand on the shoulder ) . 

hosts are allowed to give their numbers and often take their clients on dates, which in turn leads them back to the host club to make more money. the goal is to keep revenue coming in. shining! is aimed to the ‘classic’ experience, what many would think of in reference to ouran aesthetically speaking ( and not much else ) . as much as i keep ren at a dissonance from that show overall so as to not be confused, the idea of shining! started as a tourist attraction / pop-up. it no doubt drew that crowd in, and quite purposefully given that foreigners and locals alike were apt to visit. it was a pop-up for a few years before having permanent residence in the red-light district. it’s supposed to be a diamond in the rough; a place for affordable class.

ren was part of the original set of boys hosting for the ‘pre-shining!’ days, and is the last out of them to have not moved to another club / part of the industry. he was chosen just before he turned 19, having worked at another smaller club before he was scooped up. 

WHO RUNS SHINING! BEHIND THE SCENES?

his name is ishikawa goro ( though ren doubts this to be his real name ), and is a member of the yakuza, utilizing shining! for purposes mostly beneath ren’s nose. he started the pop up, he hired ren, and he got the business off the ground while entrusting ren to manage it. ren was known as umi then. goro was the one that suggested he go by ren, finding it fitting for him.

he has been involved in ren’s life for almost ten years based on where ren’s primary verse picks up, and has basically been a formative figure in ren’s life where one was lacking. there is no sexual element to their relationship, though ren had a slight affection for him at first that was quickly realized to be a more fondness. 

goro’s appearance changes often, mostly his hair color. he goes from natural black through shades of brown and blond often, wanting to keep himself from being noticed too often. he acts as a part of the underground.

he comes off pretty cool, collected, and in control. he has all the chips in favor, the deck is stacked, the game is rigged. he tends to give the illusion that power is shared, or that he’s out for everyone’s best interest, but he typically has his own interests at heart. he will do whatever fits agenda. if helping benefits him, he’ll help. if not, he typically won’t intervene. he finds reasons to do things that might not directly benefit him, but those are solely motivated by personal interest. he has a soft spot for children, and tends to be aggressive with offenders that are dangerous to children. this is ren’s best selling point honestly.

WHAT DID REN DO BEFORE THERE WAS A PERMANENT LOCATION / DURING OFF-SEASONS?

when the club wasn’t completely profitable as a full-time position, ren definitely learned early to work around the law. japan’s prostitution laws allow for a lot of loopholes --> read about japan’s laws on prostitution and what sex workers do / where they work to get around these laws. 

>>>> “ Prostitution in modern Japan, as defined under Japanese law, is the illegal practice of sexual intercourse with an 'unspecified' (unacquainted) person in exchange for monetary compensation,[1][2][3] which was criminalized in 1965 by the introduction of article 3 of the Anti-Prostitution Law (売春防止法, Baishun Bōshi Hō). ” <<<<

this leaves the door open to other acts that sex workers can engage in outside of ‘sexual intercourse with an unspecified person’. that basically means they can’t engage in traditional sex with strangers for money, but could have paid sex with an acquaintance. this does not mean they cannot perform oral sex and other sex acts that are non-coital are permitted to be paid for by unspecified persons. there is a term for the industry that i’ve come to understand is like an overlaying term for many different places with different business called ‘health’.

in ren’s case, he’s used this as a strong argument for having paid sex with clients as they are ‘in his realm of acquaintances’. he meets his private connections via the locations he’s worked at, primarily shining!.

ren kept a small string of locals that came to the pop-up location in his black book to keep a small revenue coming in from 19-21. shining! is a running business with four walls by the time he’s 22, to which these connections grows, and he becomes busier ‘moonlight’. however, from 18-21, he did work at a few other locations to supplement cashflow. he has also temporarily returned to some of these gigs shortly after kyosuke was born, and during his transition between apartments ( to which he is currently living at 27 ) .

ren’s options, in comparison to hina’s, are a bit more limited in being hired in what one could consider a “legal establishment”. a lot of his work is reliant on his customer base from shining! and other connections. so when he wasn’t working at shining! or meeting with regulars off the clock ( or ‘friends of’ his regulars ) , he acted as a male equivalent of what’s called ‘delivery health’ which is basically a type of call girl. ironically this is what ren transitions to full-time after leaving shining!, having built up a solid customer base as he follows his former #2 host**

** this host, sho, is a major connection in ren’s life. ren hired sho at shining! to be the genki type. despite their initial differences, rne and sho realized quickly their opposing appearances and personalities could make them more money together than apart. they’ll host together or bounce off each other ( “see how mean ren is to me!” or “see how difficult sho makes my job” to play sympathy ) , which quickly moved to them hosting after hours together. individually they do well, but together there is more profit. they also have an affair together on and off. **

SO WHERE DOES HINA FIT INTO THIS? SHE’S A HOSTESS, RIGHT?

she is! hina met ren when the club was a pop-up, coming to be hosted after constantly having to host. ren understands, as he’s done the same. their connection was pretty quick. 

before hosting, hina’s first job as a sex worker was as an onakura, and she did that for six months while trying to work a few part-time jobs. finding herself, similarly to ren, unable to rise above her circumstances, she quickly quit that to pursue more money.

for a short period she worked as a call girl, but eventually found hosting to be her saving grace while still remaining in the industry. she was given the opportunity by a friend who was a hostess at the time, and had suggested she apply. cleaning herself up, hina excelled quickly, and is quite good at her job. 

where she used to moonlight for $$$, she now gaslights ren for cash due to their connection as mother / father to their son. he always obliges. there is love in that love-hate.

ADDITIONAL DETAILS:

how it all boils down --> both hina and ren are essentially sex workers, though ren is more into the realm of prostitution than hina is. he is the primary caretaker for their son, and his mother, and thus his financial burden is far greater. 

a big reason he leaves his manager position is because a) it’s not going anywhere and b) he can’t let sho leave without him. now that he has a clientele that’s more than several individuals, he can work effectively as a “man on call” and get a larger pool from there. his services are more open, more direct, and not under the guise of ‘hosting’ anymore. they still fall into being advertised within the legal confines, but he’s still in the red light district: at the end of the day, ren is ( and has always been ) a prostitute. there’s nothing wrong with that, and in reality he really is the one that has the hardest time coming to terms with the technically terms for his career. he’s only doing what’s been the oldest profession in the book, and he’s filling a niche that’s more saturated by men wanting women and not women wanting men ( or men wanting men ) .

over time, ren has definitely acted outside of the law, but he mostly does what he can to stay within the legalities forced on him. the reason ren got into this wasn’t originally to go full-in, more needing some quick cash after he had to drop out of university and take care of his mom. from there, it sort of just spiraled, and he was in situations he was either too young or naive to understand, or was just making bad decisions. by the time he met hina and got her pregnant, there was no way ren was going to get out.

he traditionally hosts women more than men, though he sleeps with men and women rather equally with men being a slightly larger margin. there is a stigma of gay men living openly, and he provides comfort as a temporary lover. they can pretend he is their own / their boyfriend for a night.

while most of his female and male partners, for their own reasons, seek him for comfort and sex, others have been more violent. it’s no shock or secret that, especially acting independently without shining! to back him, ren has found himself in trouble, or just some extreme sexual situations.

he’s been hit and choked, which is not uncommon, to full on beaten up. he takes it as some clients just like it rough, and he’s there to provide them whatever kink they pay him to indulge. his motto is: i like what you like. a husband has walked in on him, but didn’t seem surprised. he’s been with couples, has been passed around, and basically is keen to do whatever he has to leave the situation still able to go to the work the next day as ren / come home at night as yori ( kyosuke’s father ) .

** at some point during their time together at shining! through their time post-shining! that ren pursues some cam-work with sho. he usually is masked as they do ‘live-streams’ where they perform with / on each other at the discretion of the chat. this is an on again / off again type of deal, though they typically do well, and get a good portion of views from westerners **

[astarion-dekarios]

This is a continuation of this post, because the topic has officially changed and it’s getting way too long.

Still under a cut to save everyone’s dashes.

@everyonewasabird:

Other thoughts:

It keeps striking me in your explanations of these references not being about queerness that there’s a strange push and pull here. Each reference tiptoes neeeearly all the way up to queerness and then goes, “Nope! I definitely didn’t mean the queer reading of that sentence!” Antinous was a beautiful young man… but there were surely beautiful young men where Hugo wouldn’t have had to say, “like Antinous … but not in THAT way!” The “bare breast of Evadne” as a reference to pitilessness is really helpful context! But … all these sentences keep having barely-averted queer interpretations that aren’t quite their real meanings, but are still there, hanging around the margins? Enough that it feels deliberate, especially in the context of Grantaire being queer-coded and loving Enjolras. I could be wrong about that, and the real context for these would have been so obvious to Hugo’s readers that the queer reading isn’t really there (and certainly modern people read queerness into things very differently). I could be very wrong, but I can’t stop seeing Antinous in the context of Grantaire’s feelings for Enjolras as saying Something, even if I can’t say what that something is.

What actually happened in Orestes Fasting in Pylades Drunk? @midautumnnightdream​‘s offhand mention the other day of the grotesque and sublime coming together kind of blew my mind and YES, WOW, DEFINITELY.

It also feels that’s not all that’s happening.

I’ve never been exactly sure what Grantaire’s sacrifice meant for Enjolras. My thoughts have generally been along the lines of: Enjolras could have died in the paradigm of war and martyrdom and the sublime-but-horrible, but because of Grantaire’s courage and sacrifice, his last moments were about friendship and love. That moment changed what the barricade meant and gave Enjolras the gift of finishing his life with love, which was what he had come to be really about in the end.

In keeping with that, Grantaire saying “I belong to it” literally changed the number of the Amis from the fateful number eight* to the innocuous nine. He couldn’t save the barricade itself, but there’s a real sense that something was subtly and terribly wrong about the barricade, and he saved that. But what was the thing that was wrong? Was it Hugo’s discomfort with killing in general, or was it something wrong with Enjolras’s barricade in particular? I don’t know.

Back on the queer question: it keeps feeling significant to me that Grantaire changes Enjolras’s name. As in, the way the chapter is titled suddenly transports Enjolras from his own paradigm into Grantaire’s paradigm, where they really are Orestes and Pylades instead of Grantaire being Pylades and Enjolras wanting nothing to do with it. Correct me if I’m wrong–my understanding is O&P was pretty understood as a queer reference? I’ve seen Vidocq use it to reference gay men (right before breaking into his usual jeering homophobic bullshit, oh my god, fuck Vidocq so much).

I really don’t like what feels to me like a simplistic reading of: “uaccepted Pylades –> accepted Pylades –> Enjolras realizes his romantic feelings for Grantaire the instant before dying.” But the chapter title does kind of make Grantaire a finally-accepted Pylades. So… any idea what that means?

*Is the “fear everything that comes in fours or eights in this book” thing generally known? I got it from the Les Miserables Reading Companion podcast, which has a great explanation of fate and spiders.

So to be clear I definitely think there is queer subtext surrounding Enjolras; I just don’t think he is Canonically Queer etc etc, reading otherwise is queer erasure blah blah. I have written salty posts about this before.

Because of his rejection of women and his consigning them to the domestic sphere entirely, it means that Enjolras comes to learn about love and the value of love through the love he has for his comrades, all of whom are men. That is homoerotic in and of itself. That is already enough to slot it in with this Greek-related concept that the relationship between husband/wife is inferior to the comradely love between two men, even where there is attraction to women. Enjolras rejects women as wives, homemakers and romantic partners as irrelevant to his focus; he comes to embrace love between his male comrades. That’s Greek homosocial love. *

Grantaire being Pylades and an unaccepted Pylades is related to this concept. O&P were definitely frequently used and understood by audiences to be a queer reference. Marianne/Tenlittlebullets wrote in her post that I linked to last time that Grantaire “has nothing to recommend him except for love”. It’s that homosocial love specifically. Enjolras comes to embrace homosocial love, Greek comradely love, through holding Grantaire’s hand. There is a fine but important distinction there from the idea that Enjolras realises his own romantic/sexual feelings for Grantaire. One of those things is Safe For 19th Century Audiences and the other one is Vulgar & too much for Hugo, if you’re looking for that go read Mademoiselle de Maupin.

Yes, it’s queer, it’s homoerotic, it’s homoromantic. It’s Symbolic. It’s Enjolras embracing the concept of love & specifically the kind of love that is available to him and his exclusively-male, rejecting of feminine love, world. Enjolras is reaching down to Grantaire and to love at the same time as Grantaire is reaching up to Enjolras and to the ideal; it’s the union between the sublime and grotesque, it’s Romantic, it’s Definitely Queer but not necessarily the same thing as “Enjolras has romantic feelings for Grantaire”. That neglects Grantaire’s reaching Up and allowing his love to lift him into the ideal, which is just as important as Enjolras reaching Down and accepting love into the ideal. That’s how he becomes an Accepted Pylades.

That’s how I see it anyway.

* There’s something else which is hard to explain here but, yes Greek lovers were often used in reference to gay men at the time; the French term “pederast” coming to be applied to all gay men [rather than just relationships between a man and a boy] specifically around the time of the early 19th century is super relevant in this context. HOWEVER, ALSO in this cultural context, references to Greek lovers were not always or even mostly understood to be vulgar in the way that “sodomy” definitely was. This has a lot to do imo with Foucault and the idea that Sexuality and Identity were not invented before the 18th/19th century. During this time there were competing identities and tropes that existed, related to the separation of homosocial/romantic love from homosexual acts, with the former sometimes being praised and the latter being universally condemned (by Respectable People anyway). Class frequently comes into this as well where upper class people get more of a license than lower class people, of course.

[mematema-blog]

After Voltron head-cannons

Yes Im still holding onto this fandom. I always will, you can try to pry my love for it out of my cold dead hands.

Btw in this Shiro didn't get with Curtis.

(Im a multi shipper, so I have MANY AU’s where different ships take place, so expect a lot of these.)

~Pidge is nonbinary, and asexual

~Pidge uses She/they pronouns depending on their mood

~Keith is a chaotic neutral gay

~ Hunk hates Hawaiian pizza with a burning passion

~Pidge would sell their soul for Hawaiian pizza and constantly talks about how much they missed it in space

~Hunk is too good to say anything about it

~ There was a time in space that Lance and Hunk had a one night stand

~ Pidge found out and made them give them a hundred favors before letting them off the hook

~Lance is a depressed bisexual trans boy tm and you can't tell me otherwise

~Keith and Lance are best friends and bonded over Shiro’s muscles

~their both gay to some extent and Shiro’s got a six pack along with a pretty face so it was inevitable

~Shiro was oblivious

~Pidge had a major crush on Allura during a brief period in season three, and misses her immensely 

~Matt comforts her whenever she’s grieving

~Lance got over Allura by dancing

~Lance eventually left the garrison, and became a professional dancer.

~Pidge continued their studies and graduated college early.

~Pidge has no clue what they want to do with their life so they decide to move in with Hunk and help him

~Hunk and Shay got married, and they have a long distance relationship.

~Hunk owns a restaurant and Pidge helps out

~Pidge and Hunk live together in an apartment, Lane ce visits every once in a while

~Everyone calls everyone on the daily, sometimes they do group FaceTime sessions

~Lance has his own house and lives with Coran and Matt

~Keith and Shiro started dating to try it out

~The relationship can get a bit awkward since sometimes they remember that they thought of each other as siblings before and theres also a huge age gap

~Lance once let it slip about what Keith and Him said about Shiro

~Shiro is now a teacher at the Garrison 

~Shiro constantly humiliates both Keith and Lance over the fact they thought he was hot

~Keith is always super calm and collected on the outside but on the inside he’s a blushing mess

~Lance just points out what he finds attractive about Shiro

~Matt and Keith both hate that

~Matt: “Babe! I thought we were dating!” ~Keith: “Thats right! get your own man!”

~Lance always laughs and puts his head on Matts shoulder afterwards.

~Lance and Matt are disaster boyfriends

~Keith and Shiro can't stop the force that is Lance and Matt.

~Hunk is too wholesome to be allowed by those two Pidge decided one day.

~Pidge, Lance and Coran talk about space often and listen to Corans stories.

~Coran is a bit depressed because Allura was like his niece and boom, now she’s gone.

~Lance and Matt constantly include Coran in activities because Coran is like Lance’s uncle

~Matt not only had to be approved by the Mclain family to date Lance, but had to be approved by Coran

~When Pidge found out they never let their brother live it down.

~P: “Oh hey Matt! Hows it going? Living with two Mclains must be hard.” ~Matt just lets his sister do so, but not without rolling his eyes.

~Coran decided to go work in a library and will tell little kids tales of Altea and other planets

~Matt and Shiro are both teachers at the Garrison and are bombarded by questions of space on the daily by their students

~Coran always comes homes with drawings kids made of space from his stories

~Lance and Coran help each other through their depression.

~Shiro goes to therapy for his PTSD

~Keith goes to the same therapist as Shiro for anger management and minor depression

~The poor therapist has to hear them one swoon for the other and also break down because “IS THIS BROTHERLY LOVE OR ROMANTIC LOVE?!?!”

~The therapist secretly thinks “Sweet Home Alabama” when this happens, even though they know its most defiantly romantic

~Once Shiro and Keith where on a date and someone spilt water on Keith, that lead to them making out in the bathrooms because Shiro needed to stop Keith from committing a felony.

~The most memorable moment the group had together on earth is when Coran, Lance, Keith, Hunk, and Shiro managed to get dared by Pidge to wear a bikini to the beach.

~Pidge managed to get a lot of blackmail and Coran just wanted to be included.

~Matt got so pissed when he found out

~Hunk and Lance rocked the bikini’s super well surprisingly.

~Keith and Shiro where EXTREMELY awkward in them

~turns out there was a few homophobes on the beach

~Coran taught them a lesson on respect after they started chanting at Shiro and Keith that they where fags, because Shiro was holding hands with Keith.

~That day at the beach gave them so many inside jokes that they have full blown conversations with references

~Shiro put a photo of the group in bikini’s on his desk

~He got a lot of questions from students

~Matt once burst into his classroom in the middle of class and demanded a copy of the photo and a full blown explanation

~Keith also works at the Garrison

~Keith and Shiro decided to both get revenge on Matt disrupting Shiro’s class

~They burst into Matts classroom and started rehearsing romeo and juliet in front of the students

~Keith is really impatient with his students but whenever he’s ready to blow up, he takes deep breathes and remembers that their just kids and need guidance

~NSFW: Matt and Lance moan meme references during sex then count to see who moaned more memes afterwards. Whoever wins has the other buy them ice cream.

~Pidge got a homophobic boyfriend once

~One day they found out about Pidge’s brother having a boyfriend and made really nasty comments about it to Pidge.

~Pidge then told them that they where LGBT+ and that they were over because Pidge won't tolerate that homophobic shit in their life

~Shay visits Hunk and Hunk visits Shay every once in a while.

~ Once Shay found Pidge going into full blown fangirl mode, and started screaming in fear

And those are some of my head-cannons! I have many alt. universe head-canons and tbh this is one of the only ones that Allura died in. Lmao I can't make up my mind on what ship I feel should have really been endgame, but I do agree that the way they showed Allurance seemed forced. I like the ship, but they made it so Allura was rebounding off Lotor by getting with Lance. So yeah.

[michellesdigitalcommunity]

TROLLING AND SOCIAL MEDIA CONFLICT

Trolling and social media conflict is definitely something I think most people my age have been through. I remember having fights with people on MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Bebo, MSN, Formspring – basically every form of social media that has existed over the last decade. I remember using these sites to keep up with who was dating who, who was friends/not friends, and who was causing drama. While I was going through the Danah Boyd reading for this week, I couldn’t help but relate a lot of the stuff in it back to myself and my experience at school. I also thought about the movie Mean Girls a LOT. In hind sight, I think I was probably Janis or Damian. Not because we share the same hobbies or anything, but because they were comfortable with who they were while everybody tried to conform to a certain social standard.

I was bullied right through school, from grade prep/one until about year eleven, and I found the readings particularly interesting in terms of why kids bully, who they target, the methods (whether it’s IRL or cyber bullying), and how parents and teachers perceive it. It really struck me that “there is no universal definition of bullying” (Boyd, p. 131), and I guess this makes sense. People react to different things in different ways, and just because you might think that what you have said isn’t cruel or offensive, there is no guarantee that the recipient will take it the way you intended. Boyd discusses that “most bullies act aggressively because they’re struggling with serious issues of their own” (p. 135). This rings quite strongly for me. When I was in high school I used to get called a lesbian one clique because I played football. It used to happen in the school yard, but also online. It would get submitted anonymously on Tumblr and on Formspring, and whenever I would post an opinion on Facebook or get involved in online drama, people would always retaliate by calling me a ‘lesbian’, ‘gay’ or ‘queer’. Although it mildly annoyed me because I am straight, and a lesbian playing football is such a stereotype, I didn't make a big deal of it because there’s nothing wrong with identifying as gay or queer. In recent days when I have ended up on the main offenders Facebook pages, I have seen that two of the main culprits, one male and one female, are now both in same-sex relationships. In hindsight, they were probably dealing with their own sexuality. They were perhaps scared to come out to their friends and family, and were worried that they wouldn’t be accepted by the people around them. So instead, they chose to project that onto me.

I found it particularly interesting what Boyd had to say about drama; that it “can be a way of achieving attention, working out sexual interests, and redirecting anger or frustration” (p. 138). She continues to discuss the website Formspring, a sort of question and answer website where people could ask questions using their name or anonymously (if the user they were submitting to had the option on). I had no idea that people were perhaps posting anonymously to their own accounts and responding to cause drama and gain attention, or as Boyd puts it, “engaging in acts of digital self-harm to attract attention, support and validation” (p. 141).

This totally makes sense to me now, but it isn’t something I would have thought to do as a teenager. Maybe it was because I already got bullied and didn’t want anymore attention. I was happy with my social status and was very comfortable being a musical nerd that played a ‘lesbian’ sport. However, I can definitely see that some kids would do this, and can think of a few kids I went to school with that probably did it for the attention and to consolidate their social status at school.

Either way, it sounds a little bit childish to me, but to quote Ferris Bueller, “it’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school”.

REFERENCES Boyd, D 2014, ‘Bullying: Is the Media Amplifying Meanness and Cuelty?’, It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens, pp. 128 - 152 Gifer 2018, ‘Regina George discussing why Janis is a lesbian’, Gifer, viewed 19th April 2018, <https://gifer.com/en/R0X5> Giphy 2018, ‘Asking High School Gif’, Giphy, viewed 19th April 2018, <https://giphy.com/gifs/80s-retro-1pVzw6WFwCzu> Giphy 2018, ‘Mean Girls Damian Gif’, Giphy, viewed 19th April 2018, <https://giphy.com/gifs/mean-girls-lizzy-caplan-janis-ian-H83JqsPajBPDW>

[logh-icebergs]

Episode 17: Before the Storm

January 797/488. As the Yang fleet settles into their new home on Iserlohn, Reinhard (and Oberstein) concoct a scheme to keep the Alliance out of their hair while they’re busy seizing power: plant a bitter, drunken, disgraced Alliance commander among two million prisoners of war they offer to exchange, armed with a sheaf of paper outlining apparently foolproof instructions for instigating a military coup d'etat. Despite immediately seeing through this plan, Yang can’t stop the exchange, so has to content himself with confiding his suspicions to Bucock. Kircheis visits Iserlohn to conduct the prisoner exchange, filling the fortress with dangerous levels of sexual energy, as literally no one (except Yang) can shut up about how hot he is.

Julian Explains It All

Can you believe it’s been a whole year since we started? Well, a year in-universe that is: It’s January of UC 797, a year since the Battle of Astate; and for no one is the passage of time more exciting than Julian, who at the age of almost-fifteen-thank-you-very-much is soooo much more grown up than the babyfaced thirteen-year-old we first saw making Yang tea back in episode 3—or so he is eager to believe.

“I’ll be fourteen-and-five-sixths later this week, Kircheis-kakka!”

This line and the line above deftly show Julian’s impatience to project himself into the future; the amazingly grown-up second in command of the entire Imperial fleet is after all not *so* much older than him.

Having talked his way into coming along to Iserlohn, Julian now has the official rank of gunzoku (軍属), “civilian in military employ” (if anyone knows a better/less clunky translation of that, let me know!), and gets to do important military things, like…

...taking marksmanship lessons from the leader of the Rosen Ritter—sweet, that’s pretty badass!—and...

...uh, right, also still making Yang tea actually. Of course.

Julian keeps a diary for the first several months of his time on Iserlohn, written by Tanaka as one of the side stories to the novels; and in fact some of the dialogue in this episode comes from that diary rather than the novels themselves. While of course the stories are not Official Icebergs Canon, episode 17 is the only Alliance episode that takes place fully during the time span of the diary, and Icebergs-canon or not the diary is too fucking adorable for me to resist peppering this post with quotes from it. It’s never been officially translated into English, so all translations are by me.

On Yang

“I accidentally only wrote about Yang so far. I should write about myself a bit.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, first entry, p. 12

Julian’s world revolves entirely around Yang. This has never been subtle: From the way he styles his clothes and body language to exactly match Yang’s, to his desire to emulate him by becoming a soldier, to his expression literally every time he looks at him, Julian’s idolization of Yang has been clear from the moment we first saw him.

As Elizabeth mentioned, Julian wears his heart on his sleeve; his expressions are almost always a clear window into his emotions, especially in a shot like this where no one is looking at him. That tiny smile as Yang grumbles about the party they just fled conveys so much affection.

The beautiful thing that happens when you stop relying on narrative shortcuts to define relationships is that the variety of different relationships you can depict blossoms into an infinite array. Julian and Yang’s situation certainly seems to defy simple description: Yang is Julian’s legal guardian; but as I’ve discussed, the language and affect Julian adopts around him are more those of an official subordinate of some kind than family, and indeed in his diary Julian uses words like “orderly” (従卒) or “disciple” (弟子) to refer to his role in Yang’s life. Between the two of them, Julian is both the caretaker and the protector: In episode 10 we saw him try to sooth Yang’s sour mood with tea, as well as rush to defend him physically when he’s attacked. 

This gif will absolutely never get old.

Now that Julian’s older and stronger and discovering a talent for physical combat that Yang completely lacks, he’s even more eager to officially take on the role of protector/bodyguard. But there’s an awkward mismatch between Julian’s sincere desire to play this important (and adult) role, and Yang’s very “aww how cute” reactions.

Julian's aspirations get no help from the fansubbers' choice of translation for koitsu; I'd go with a simple "you..." here personally.

This “go keep watch” gimmick is so transparently a way to get rid of Julian for a few minutes that the seriousness of Julian’s nod breaks my heart a little.

Julian’s worship of Yang at this stage of his life is many things: overly intense in that way that emotions are at the age of I’ll-be-fifteen-this-year; more than a little unhealthy; and totally adorable. It’s unclear right now whether Julian himself sees his feelings as a crush; given his general lack of self-consciousness about it, my read is that he doesn’t. But it’s the sort of proto-crush/obsession that could easily become romantically tinged as he continues to grow up.

"Yang sucks at 3D chess." —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 68

On Frederica (...and also Yang)

As we follow Julian around Iserlohn early in the episode we find him accosting Frederica while she’s washing dishes, which means it’s time to introduce the Yang-Bechdel Test! Elizabeth has been using the Reinhard-Bechdel Test to measure whether Kircheis ever actually thinks about Annerose without simultaneously thinking of Reinhard (spoiler: he does not). Along the same lines, if we put Julian and Frederica in a room together, it’s not hard to guess the topic of conversation to which they will gravitate.

Here Julian seeks Frederica out to pick her memory about the events nine years ago on El Facil that launched Yang into his uncomfortable position of fame, and they end up giggling together over Yang’s lack of commanding presence, and speculating on how his life would have gone if he hadn’t become famous. 

Like other El Facil flashbacks, this was redrawn for the DVD version to deny us this amazing vision of Yang choking on a sandwich. (Julian is speaking here.)

Bonding with Frederica by discussing Yang serves multiple purposes for Julian: He gets some insight into Yang’s past, since she met him many years before Julian did; and like his interest in Yang’s plans with Jessica in Thernusen, it lets him keep an eye on Yang’s potential love life. The friendship between Julian and Frederica is very sweet, but we’ll be continuing to keep track of how often they actually pass the Yang-Bechdel Test.

On Kircheis (and Dusty) (...and also Yang)

“The person standing at the front looked astonishingly good in the splendid Imperial uniform of metal on black fabric. He seemed about 30cm taller than me, towering above everyone else. Under his unusually red hair, his youthful face was both handsome and gentle. This was High Admiral Siegfried Kircheis.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 181

The Main Event of this episode is the prisoner exchange, the first direct contact we see between the Empire and the Alliance where no one is shooting at each other. From the moment Kircheis steps off of the Barbarossa (which must be making all the Alliance ships in the dock feel rather bad about themselves), all anyone in the whole fortress seems able to talk about is how attractive he is, starting with Dusty’s not-so-subtle dreamy gaze: 

Along with Julian, Dusty’s expressions are usually quite transparent. Here he reacts to the other admirals’ shock at his mooning over an enemy commander with deflection, but come on. Dusty. We saw you.

After Julian and then Frederica both comment that Kircheis is super handsome, even Poplan and Schenkopp get in on the discussion, in an exchange the anime team felt was important enough to snag out of the diary. 

“It may have been an attempt at modesty for Poplan that he didn’t say not as good-looking as himself. Perhaps due to their age difference, what Schenkopp said was more shameless.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 183-184. (Nah Julian, it’s just that Reinhard is so hot that even Poplan’s comfortable admitting it out loud.)

Okay to be fair, here we also see Julian and Frederica bond over how handsome Kircheis is and uh, how gay Poplan is...I guess that passes the test?

At the actual ceremony, a collection of NPC officers get in on the fun of staring in awe at Kircheis, but of course Julian and Dusty have front-row seats.

In a small-scale version of the technique we’ve seen before of drawing parallels to heteronormative relationships, the random women whispering in the background are repeating almost verbatim what Julian and Dusty both said just moments ago; we’re even focusing on Julian and Dusty in the foreground of the shot, as they gaze up at Kircheis. We get it, anime team, sheesh.

On his way out of the room, Kircheis notices Julian and speaks to him, or in Julian’s own words… 

“As High Admiral Kircheis, who had been saying something to Admiral Yang, was exiting the room, the gaze from his blue eyes suddenly rested on me. He had a pleasant, kind voice. [...] I worked hard to keep my voice calm.”

“With a smile, High Admiral Kircheis turned his tall figure and walked away from me. I stood for a while in a daze. I couldn’t believe the second in command of the enemy fleet actually talked to me.”

“I felt strangely unsteady below the knees, like I was standing on a floor made of jelly. If Admiral Attenborough hadn’t pushed my shoulder, I might have just stood in the emptying assembly hall forever.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 182-183

I’m supposed to be doing incisive, below-the-surface analysis here, but the anime team made my job pretty pointless in this case. Even without the diary commentary, between Julian’s dazzled expressions and Dusty’s blatant teasing, there’s nothing to say here except that I agree guys: Kircheis is uhh, the real deal.

But if you’re worried, like Dusty, that Julian’s loyalty might actually be tested by his newfound infatuation, fear not; at the end of the day, Julian knows where his real affections lie.

“Anyway, isn’t everyone forgetting our own representative? Admiral Yang isn’t as dashing as High Admiral Kircheis, but his completely natural, unforced manners and expressions were really charming. [...] Even if Admiral Yang were to come face to face with Marquis Lohengramm, he would calmly maintain his composure and his own pace. I’m sure of it. For me, Admiral Yang is number one, always. So what Admiral Attenborough said when he pushed me, umm—I’d called it a ‘needless anxiety,’ totally impossible. Although, if Admiral Yang himself defected, that’s a different story.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 184

The Secret World of Paul von Oberstein

Meanwhile on Odin, bathed in dramatic sunset hues streaming through arched columns, Oberstein continues to find that (for some reason he still can’t entirely fathom) Reinhard’s treatment of Kircheis is the one topic on which his opinion is not welcome.

Echoing their very first interaction, in which Reinhard refused Oberstein’s request for Kircheis to leave the room (until Kircheis himself offered to comply), here Oberstein suggests that promoting Kircheis to second in command creates too much inequality among the admirals. Ever the utilitarian, Oberstein believes in using each person in the most logical and expedient way; promoting Kircheis above the other admirals, especially when Kircheis is clearly displeased with some of their recent strategies, goes against his sense of order.

Until now, Reinhard has held onto the belief that he can use Oberstein’s Machiavellianism to accomplish certain goals, while simultaneously maintaining his privileged working (and otherwise) relationship with Kircheis. But this is a delicate balancing act—Oberstein is less willing to drop his objections to a “number two” position among the admiralty than Reinhard anticipated, and Kircheis’s discomfort with Oberstein’s methods hasn’t abated even after the demonstrated success of Amlitzer.  

Not surprisingly, it’s Oberstein who finally pushes Reinhard to snap and finds himself on the receiving end of some harsh words. Reinhard still doesn’t give in to any of Oberstein’s Kircheis-related demands, but his nerves are visibly frayed, and it’s clear that the fragile peace between the three of them can only last so long. Because this is LoGH and things are never simple when they can be headache-inducingly nuanced, Reinhard isn’t on his way to a trite “choose him or me” ultimatum—but there’s no doubt that he can no longer ignore the ever-widening chasm between his two closest advisors.

Stray Tidbits

The worldbuilding at the beginning of the episode is amazing, showing us around the many sides of the giant floating sphere that is Iserlohn. The fortress holds three million civilians, which is kind of weird—was there continuity in those civilian communities even as the fortress changed hands from the Empire to the Alliance? ...In any case, the “Gone with the Sun” movie poster is one of my favorite random background details. I also like how we get to see the main control room still under construction. 

Julian, dear, you know I love you, but what in god’s name are you wearing? Is that like, a light purple sweatsuit? With a blue and yellow jacket? I support your fashion experiments but this one is a miss. 

Keep the bag and shoes though, they’re working.

Yang reacting to coffee is everything. *shakes fist at DVD remasters* 

“There is no coffee in our house. Even if we have guests who are on team coffee, Yang just gleefully makes them drink black tea.” —Julian’s Iserlohn Diary, p. 70

Yang and Kircheis interacting in person is a breathtaking moment, for the audience as well as for Julian. Reinhard and Yang have clearly admired each other as tacticians from the start, but Kircheis brings a more personal angle, actually articulating a wish that they could have been friends. Hmm do you think maybe this show thinks war is…...bad?

You need this Schenkopp gif in your life.

[snarktheater]

Book review — Stranger Than Fanfiction

After loving Chris Colfer's Land of Stories series, I picked up his latest book without a second thought. What a fool I was.

You know how "don't write a self-insert" is such a common writing advice that it has people arguing against it, and not unreasonably so, on the grounds that any character one writes has an element of oneself, and desperately trying to avoid that only results in trite, flat characters because you have no real experience to ground them in?

Yeah, well this book reminds you why it's a common advice in the first place. Oh, but don't worry, it also does so much more wrong! It's like a massive clusterfuck of "why do you waste my time so?" Really, this could have had its own snark. You've been warned.

Stranger Than Fanfiction is the story of five characters. Or, really, four plus one characters. Four kids just out of high school, who are faced with the dramatic change of going to college, being split from their best friends by virtue of going to live all across the States, and each with one (1) personal conflict. It's paint-by-the-numbers character arc for a coming of age story…or at least, that's the concept. But before I get to the details, we also have our fifth protagonist, Cash Carter, who's an uber-popular actor famous for a series aimed at young adults and totally not the author's avatar. Ahem.

The plot is this: out four kids are Christopher "Topher" Collins (who may or may not be a second self-insert, yes, really), Sam Gibson, Joey Davis, and Moriko "Mo" "I couldn't be bothered to use my Japanese character's full name, and I don't know if that reflects more badly on my characters or myself as an author, but probably both". They're going on a road trip together before college, and Cash crashes the trip after Topher sends him a heartfelt letter (which he has for most of his teenage years). If you have issues with this premise, congratulations on realizing that an actor hanging out with teenage fans is a little bit creepy and not…whatever the book thinks it is, exactly.

Cash is essentially a Manic Pixie Dream…Celebrity, for lack of a better term. His role in the plot is to provide each of our protagonist with an easy out to their issues (and don't worry, I'll get back to that in a moment), while vomiting bitter thoughts about the famous life. Considering his viewpoints are never even challenged by the narrative, it's hard to feel like this is anything but the author's own thoughts. That, or Chris Colfer is actually a mediocre author who got a publishing deal solely based on his pre-established fame, but that could never happen. His style totally doesn't have a million amateur mistakes that a professional should have caught, either.

But really, even if these aren't the author's views and he's just presenting an argument in abstract…he doesn't really do that well, either. Because he lumps together paparazzi and rabid, stalking fans on one hand (which…is a problem) with critics, of all things. How dare people hold you accountable, right? It's not like everyone is accountable to someone, and the only difference when you're a celebrity is scale, because 1) more attention means more people you're accountable to and 2) more influence means your actions have bigger consequences.

And it's really hard to feel sad for Carter who just "can't even be young" (because being young always entails wild partying, sex, and drugs, right?). I'm sorry, but the guy is, in universe, filthy rich and headlining the most popular show on television. And if that doesn't make up for it, keep in mind that he could just…you know, keep it on the down low. What most teenagers who act up have to do anyway, if only because they don't want their parents to find out.

Look, it's not like our society has no legit issues with its handling of celebrities. Yes, privacy is something everyone deserves. Yes, sex negativity is bad, and our relationship to recreational drug use needs a serious change towards a more accepting stance that will lead to more responsible use. But it's really hard to care about any of that when it's presented like…this:

You know it's bad when there's a dead meme that already makes fun of what you're doing.

If you agree with anything I just said, well, your enjoyment of this book is compromised, because Cash Carter rants often, a lot, and keeps using the same talking points. It's almost embarrassing—or it would be if it wasn't so annoying too. If you needed to vent, writing a novel wasn't the solution, Mr Colfer.

Okay, that's one protagonist out of the way. Let's look at our coming of age stories for this book, how our Manic Pixie Dream Whiner comes into them, and why it all fails so, so very hard.

The easiest is Topher, because…well, he doesn't really have a problem. I mean, he does, but it's not an internal problem, because I guess the author knows what a coming of age story is, what a character arc is, but not which character arcs work for a coming of age story. So Topher has a sick younger brother and a single mom to take care of both of them. His "problem", if you can call it that, is that he's staying in his hometown to go to a lesser college to help his mom take care of his brother. Wow.

Next is Sam. Sam is a trans boy in the closet. So far in the closet that, until his gender is "revealed" in his first PoV chapter, he's actually referred to by "she" pronouns (including in said PoV), which I'm fairly certain is a bad idea. You're literally using the narration to perpetuate the idea that being trans is a "twist", a surprise. Or dare I say…a trap? That's probably not the intent, mind you, but it's still what it comes across. Sam also has the distinction that Topher has a crush on him. More on that in a moment.

Joey is our token black gay. I mean, token black guy who happens to be gay. He's gay. That's his conflict. Well, specifically, he's gay and his family is very religious and openly homophobic, but still. Also, he plans to get laid during the road trip.

Finally, we have Moriko. As you might have guessed, I'm already annoyed that the book consistently refers to her as "Mo", because it sounds a lot like Japanese names are just too complicated for this book. As another token (and yes, she and Joey really feel like tokens rather than part of a diverse cast), she also has a pretty weak conflict. Basically, she wants to go to a writing school, her dad wants her to go to a "serious" college instead, to have a career that makes money and stuff. I'm pretty sure it's a racial stereotype of some kind.

So how does this all play out? Well, I'm glad you asked. Three of our protagonists are keeping a secret, and they all eventually confess that secret to Cash, even though Cash proves to be a giant, self-absorbed asshole. That actually sort of works, and even starts like a pretty standard character arc. But then there's the resolution. Which is to say: Cash outs all of their secrets. At once. To everyone else.

Considering two of three secrets are characters in the closet, we already have a very bad start. Outing people is not okay, you guys. Don't do it. Even if you're 1000000% positive that it won't have negative consequences, just…don't do it. If someone came out to you, they trusted you with a very important secret, do not betray that trust.

But on a pure writing level, this is also…very weak. It means the characters don't progress or grow; instead, they're just forced to deal with the consequences of their secret being out in the open. It forces three of your four protagonist to be reactive characters instead of proactive ones; and since the fourth protagonist is completely passive, he's not faring much better.

So after that "climactic" (using the term very generously) reveal, we follow…Topher, the guy who had nothing bad happen to him. Well, okay, his crush on Sam was also put out in the open, but come on, that doesn't count. All he has to deal with is knowing that his crush is a boy, and the book phrases it in the most ambiguous way possible that ends up kind of implying he still sees Sam as a girl, kind of, sort of? He says he wants them to be "gray" (as in, in a gray area) together, even though Sam's gender is pretty clear-cut and there's a word for a person who's attracted to girls and boys. It's "bisexual". It's not used in the book at all.

The rest of the cast? Well, now that their secret is out to their best friends, I guess they're suddenly fine coming out to the rest of the world too. Or, in Moriko's case, to just tell her dad no, and to emotionally blackmail him into accepting her choice. But that's okay, because the end justifies the means?

Meanwhile, Joey's kicked out of his home, but Topher's family takes him in and his mom will still talk to him…just, you know, not at home and while trying to make sure she's not seen by anyone. Yes, this is a thing that happens and it's treated as a joke that Joey's mom is ashamed to meet him. Ha ha ha. Sam's mom (also a single parent, it's kind of weird how three of the protagonists have those) accepts her son, on the other hand. And yes, there's something a little weird about how both white protagonists have wonderful accepting parents and get everything they want, while both the black boy and Japanese girl have awful parents and lose something to get their happy ending. It just reeks of "you didn't even stop to think about it, did you?"

As for the resolution of Cash's character…if you can call if that…well, he was dying of cancer the whole time, and all his acting up was the result of wanting to live his life to the fullest before dying. He also leaves huge sums of money to the protagonist (after they forgive him) so they can all go for their respective dreams (and in Topher's case, abandon his mom and brother guilt-free). A true Manic Pixie Dream Celebrity to the end. And was that really the best use of his money? Just because they were the only four to "see him as a person"? Way to imply the rest of the fandom all dehumanize you.

Problem is: Cash didn't earn his forgiveness. He was horrible, he keeps being horrible, but now we know he's dying and that changes everything? Yeah, no. You can enjoy life to the fullest without being a jackass to everyone around you. Neither did the protagonists earn their happy endings. And if they don't earn it, it means the coming of age…didn't happen, basically.

Oh, and speaking of coming (yes, I had to make that joke). I mentioned that Joey was planning to lose his virginity during the road trip. Yeah, I have to address this separately. See, Sam and Moriko tell Cash their secrets in fairly drama-free circumstances, but Joey doesn't even choose to tell him. Instead, while he's meeting a guy from a hook-up app (who turns him down after puzzling out that Joey is an eighteen-year-old closeted virgin), he just happens to be spotted by Cash.

That scene…drips with good sentiment, but honestly, I hated it. The whole "don't have sex if you're not ready" message is fine, but Joey doesn't feel like someone who isn't ready. He'd been chatting with his date for a while before even leaving, he'd done his research about preparation and safety…he very much sounds ready to me. But no, he's not doing it with someone he's in love with, and therefore it's not good. It ends up reeking of "casual sex is bad", which, considering how much Cash complains when people criticize him for having sex, feels hypocritical. Doesn't help that this is absolutely what the author thinks, since Joey gets that talk from both his date and then from Cash. And after that scene, Joey no longer expresses the desire to have sex at all. This was an informed choice, and it was Joey's to make, so I hate that the book just takes it away from him. Sounds like you need some sex positivity of your own, book.

Stranger than fanfiction is…well, first of all, it doesn't really live up to its title. Oh, we certainly get a title drop at the end, but the events are very much not stranger than fanfiction. If anything, it only highlights another major flaw about this book: that it's clearly written by someone who knows about fandom and fanfiction…but only from the outside, as a celebrity who is the object of both instead of a creator or consumer of either. So not only does it fail at basic storytelling, it also fails at portraying the protagonists for who they're supposed to be.

On the plus side, at least now I'm cured of my ridiculous celebrity crush on Chris Colfer. Hurray for small victories!

[ellimac2016-blog]

Warmth of a Thousand Suns- Ch. 2

Thank you to the one person who liked chapter one! That was enough for me to continue so heres the second chapter. Still PG rated at this point. ___________________________________________

Yuri couldn’t stop thinking and couldn’t pay attention to his work. Not only was it friday and he could have the weekend to relax away from his dim lifeless cubicle, but he had Viktors wallet in his pocket waiting to return to its owner tonight. As Yuri left Viktor’s apartment upon their first meeting he quickly grabbed, what he thought was his, wallet on the counter, incidentally it was not. Now Yuri is fidgeting and wondering how to go about returning it in his head.

“Should I go back to his apartment and ring the bell? I don’t know any other place to find him. What about how I left last time? Will Viktor be mad? Did he even notice how unsettled I was? Did he care? I was nothing more than a muddy mistake during his morning run, right? Should I leave it in his mail box and not even see him, but I really want to see him.. I really want to see him?”

Yuri groaned and sneered at himself under his breath

“shit”

Viktor sure knew how to consume Yuri’s thoughts even though they just met. He was just so damn striking. He was beautiful, kind, and for some reason Yuri just felt like he had to see him again. When Viktor was around, for the first time in many years, Yuri felt alive. His whole world has been grey and dim, suddenly with Viktor its silver and the sky is the most vibrant blue it has ever been.

“Hey dreamer how’s that translation coming?”

Phichit leaned his head on Yuris shoulder, he was so startled he let out a little squeal like a mouse. Yuri had known Phichit since their university days and they had been best friends since. In fact Phichit was probably his only friend. They both studied language in college and now work together doing translations for a variety of different outlets. Of course Phichit was more skilled than Yuri and the thai man had become the supervisor in Yuri’s division. Everyone around Yuri seemed so much more than him. They were always more talented, clever, sociable, and attractive. Phichit was no exception. Thinking back again to Viktor his Yuri hung his head thinking that even Phichit would look better next to Viktor. In contrast to Viktors silver hair and fair skin, Phichit had tanned skin and medium brown hair. He was also tall and very fit with a huge bright smile and the personality to match. There didn’t seem to be much space in Viktors world of diamonds for a rock like Yuri.

“Hello? Earth to Yuriiiiiiii”

Phichit began to hum in his ear

“Im here, im here boss”

Yuri hummed back with a weak smile knowing Phichit hated when Yuri referred to him as his boss, even though it was only true.

“Whats going on with you? You seem down, well not really down, but distracted today. One minute you have a goofy smile and the next you’re frowning. Plus-” Phichit points to yuris computer screen “-the day is almost over and you haven’t even finished the first of three translations you wanted to do today”

Yuri cringes, of course now even his work performance was becoming lackluster.

“seriously what’s going on? Its unlike you to be so unfocused and filled with emotions. Usually you work like a lifeless robot”

Phichit teased and started to do the robot dance giggling. He always knew how to pull Yuri from his thoughts, unfortunately today he was in quite deep.

“Let’s take a break and I will tell you all about it”

Yuri sighed and walked with Phichit to the, luckily empty, breakroom. This wasn’t a conversation he particularly wanted people to hear.

Yuri inhaled deeply and decided to tell Phichit what happened that morning not leaving out even his inner monologue for each situation. By the end he realized how eventful his morning really was.

“So… in short-”

Phichit began with a little grin and took a deep breath and began to summarize, rather crudely and quickly

“- you got tackled by a hot russian guys dog, covered in mud, went to hot guys apartment to shower and change, found out hot guy was an author that thinks you’re cute, plus he is also gay, and then you ran out not understanding that your feelings meant ‘hey me I think I want to jump hot foreign man that thinks i’m cute’”?

Yuris mouth had fallen open half way through Which Its description and now he was red up to his ears

“P-Phichit! T-that’s not at all what h-happened! And did your not hear the whole he’s beautiful and i’m me section of my explanation!”

Yuri was very obviously flustered at this point and began to regret telling Phichit, who was very open about all things risque and played on both fields of sexuality. Yuri could feel the embarrassed heat flood his body and began to hang his head low again.

“Yuri-”

Phichits voice suddenly got serious

“I don’t think you see yourself the way others do. I told you same thing back in college once didn’t I”?

A whole different blush flooded Yuris face now. Phichit did tell Yuri this once in college. When they were both drunk and laying together practically naked while Phichit tried to convince Yuri that he was actually quite sexy and couldn’t believe he had never been with anyone. This was the same day Yuri found out Pichit would become romantically involved with anyone of any sex or orientation. Nothing happened between them that night because after Phichit ranted about how he was going to solve Yuri’s ‘virgin problem’ he promptly fell asleep. The next day he told Yuri he couldn’t remember a thing. Yuris voice came out as a whisper

“Y-you told me you couldnt remember that night?! How much do you remember?!”

Yuris eyes began to sting as if he might tear up or cry of embarrassment.

“To be honest I remember all of it. I wasn’t as drunk as you were”

Phichits voice lowered a little

“I acted like I didn’t because you were my first crush in college, but even after you got drunk you kept turning me down, no matter how much I tried to flaunt myself at you. I didn’t want you to know I remembered in case the friendship would end there. I accepted it and decided I wanted to be your friend if nothing more. I had just never had anyone not be attracted to me before.”

Phichit laughed at the last part. It was clear he was over what had happened back then, but felt bad about lying to Yuri all these years. Yuri felt almost mad at Phichit and his, what seemed to be a heavy misunderstanding. Yuri quickly blurted his response without thinking it through carefully.

“I WAS attracted to you. You were stunning too! You always have been and that’s why I felt that I didn’t fit. You’re like Viktor, you’re a diamond and i’m a rock Phichit. It had nothing to do with attraction and desire. It was just….”

Yuri got quiet knowing he has said too much, but he at least wanted to finish his response. Even if it came out as a whisper

“it was just I had no confidence and I was sure in the morning you would blame being with someone like me on the fact we were drunk.”

Phichit began to laugh. Not a little snicker but full on rolling laughter like a thunder storm. He even had to wipe away a tear in Yuri’s surprise.

“Yuri no. No. No. No.-”

Phichit was still laughing and talking in a serious but playful way to his best friend.

“- you’re a diamond to. You may not be tall, or outgoing, and devilishly sexy-”

Phichit winked and Yuri couldn’t tell if he was trying to be helpful or of he was rubbing salt in an already aching wound

“- but you don’t have to be those things to be a diamond Yuri. I don’t think you really look in the mirror enough. You’re not tall. But you have a great build and even in a suit I can tell you must be incredibly strong. You’re shy and quiet but that has its own gentle attraction as well. Plus I have seen you when your personality comes out too. You’re the most dependable friend I have ever had and you have a sexy devilish side to. You’re very cute Yuri. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Yuris mouth was again wide open and he felt like he had a blush going across his entire body. No one had ever ranted like that to Yuri before. He always thought he was just a very typical looking japanese man. He didn’t realise how much that had held him back his whole life. Never having the confidence to show anyone his feelings or to get a partner in fear that they would leave him once they realised that he just isn’t that great. Yuri has the best friend he could have ever asked for. He is always there when Yuri needs him.

“Now go get yourself that sexy foreign man Yuri!”

All Yuri can do is nod meekly with a smile. It may take a while, but maybe he isn’t just a rock, but just in need of a good polish.

[queermediastudies]

The Heteronormative Queer Film Brokeback Mountain

The movie that I decided to review was Brokeback Mountain with the director Ang Lee. I decided on this movie because of the impact it made on American society. Never in my life was queer media brought to my attention until this movie was released. The movie featured and followed the lives of two main characters; Jack Twist, played by Jake Gyllenhaal and Ennis Del Mar, played by Heath Ledger. The plot of this story was complex with the turns it took and the dissatisfaction the viewer gets after watching the end of the movie. Both characters are in Wyoming looking for a job. The two of them get paired on a job that herds sheep around broke back mountain protecting them from getting killed and eaten by coyotes. Over time on the mountain, Jack Twist ends up making a romantic move on Ennis Del Mar resulting in the two having sex. Their feelings start to develop into true love for one another. After the herding season is over, they go separate ways, leaving their love on the side. Over a period of about twenty years, the two continually get together to meet up at broke back mountain to have sexual relations and fulfill their inner love for one another. As time passes, the two aren’t able to meet up any longer since their lives have gotten more serious. Jack Twist ultimately leaves the United States to go to Mexico, ending with him being killed. To critically analyze this movie was difficult considering the movie has always been seen as very progressive. Throughout my analysis I was able to identify that while Brokeback Mountain did make queer media more visible, I argue that the movie still widely reinforces the theme of heteronormativity. 

Within this movie there were many themes the movie had that stood out as important pieces to point out during my analysis. The first theme I was able to identify was masculinity. I noticed this theme throughout because the two men didn’t feel comfortable doing certain things that made them possibly seem feminist. In the movie, Ennis Del Mar doesn’t talk much especially things that bring up emotions in him. I noticed this when he talks about his parents dying and him having to be raised by his two older siblings. This connected to masculinity because it is often seen in American society that crying is not a masculine attribute or action.

           The other major theme that I noticed was the idea of binary oppositions. The two men felt like they had no option to come out as gay to the people they loved. They felt like they had two options of sexuality; gay or straight. The men felt like they couldn’t ever come out as gay based on what could possibly happen to them if people found out. They never felt like there was more than two options, like being bisexual.

Another major theme that I identified was the theme of suppressed love. The whole movie is about the idea that the two men are deeply in love, but they cannot seek this love and accept it as normal. They have wives to hide that fact to themselves and others that they really are in love with one another. The two men are never able to fully pursue their love for one another and live a life without suppression. This suppression helped enforce the idea of heteronormativity because gay love is suppressed in favor of heterosexual relationships.

Throughout watching this movie, I was able to identify many different themes or ideas that connected to what we have talked about and learned in class. To start, I want to first address the idea of heteronormativity. Heteronormativity is essentially the idea that heterosexual relationships are the norm. As scholars Benshoff and Griffin stated, “Heterosexuality came to mean the “normal” orientation of male-female attraction and desire, while homosexuality remained its “abnormal shadow”.”(Benshoff and Griffin, 2004, p.3). This mean exactly what it says, heterosexuality is seen as the normal and homosexuality is seen as abnormal. This theme of heteronormativity is why I believe this movie is still problematic. While they are having gay relations, it is still seen as wrong and “abnormal” to the general public. The characters know this and is why the two never fully pursue their love for one another.

           The other course concept that I felt related to this movie and the problem of it reinforcing heteronormativity is binary oppositions. As described by scholar Andersson, “oppositions that is gendered and involve relations of power because one of the poles in the dichotomy is always inferior to the other.” (Andersson, 2002, p.5). This connects to the movie because of the binary opposition of heterosexual and homosexual. The idea that heterosexuality is superior to homosexuality is very apparent in the film through the idea that they can not be openly gay because of what others might think of them/do to them. Binary opposition of homosexuality and heterosexuality ultimately help reinforce the idea that since homosexuality is seen as “abnormal”, heterosexuality is the normal.  

           The last idea that the movie brought up that helped enforce the idea of heteronormativity is the idea that heterosexual people may watch the movie and experience queer ideas. This helps enforce heteronormativity because it makes it seem like everyone should experience the same things as people within the queer community. I argue that this is problematic because it pushes the idea that we are all the same. Yet, this is not the case. We as humans are so different and diverse and we aren’t supposed to be the same. I realize that it is helpful for people to experience queer elements, but I think some things are only understood by the community that is portrayed. In the case of this movie, I think the director tries to make the viewer feel like they can feel what the characters are going through. This is not the case. People can not truly understand what others are going through unless they’ve experienced it themselves. For the movie, I believe it is important for the viewer to feel empathy for the characters but what is problematic is the idea that we can see what they are going through and can experience that too. A quote from the Doty readings hit on this idea and states, “Basically heterocentrist texts can contain queer elements and basically heterosexual, straight identifying people can experience queer moments.” (Doty,1993, p.3). This quote points out how even queer media is made for heteronormative societies in which that is the normal. This overall helps reinforce heteronormativity by trying to create a movie that can feed heterosexual viewers information on what it is like to be queer when heterosexual viewers might not truly understand the ideas the movie is getting at. I know in my own personal case, without taking this queer media studies class, I would’ve thought that I truly know what it feels to be a gay man whose love is suppressed. Yet, I know now that I will never really know what that situation feels like unless I experience it myself.

One thing about the movie that I felt was problematic in addition to heteronormative views, is the representation of queer love. Although I realize this movie is meant to take place in a much different time then now, the movie portrays gay love as forbidden love. The characters are never able to embrace their sexuality and rather hide it by having wives and kids for the two main characters. I do not identify as a person who is in the LGBTQ community but to me this reinforced the idea that queer love is forbidden love that must ultimately be hidden or not pursued at all. The idea that love that has to be hidden if it is queer, forces many to follow to heteronormative model and not pursue gay love even if that is their sexuality.

           All in all, although I am very critical of the movie, Brokeback Mountain, I overall liked the movie a lot. The impact it made on society ultimately had greater positive impact on society than negative. Even though the movie is portraying heteronormative values, it does a great job at providing queer media visibility. Understanding my own subject positionality also has had a major impact on my analysis. Like I mentioned, I am not homosexual, nor a member of the LGBTQ community. This itself skews my views. I am a white cisgender male who does not experience the same hardships that person within the LGBTQ community does. I’m in a country of privilege and I experience many privileges that others do not. At the end of day, I am very lucky to be in the position I am in where I can go to school and learn more about queer media and lifestyle while also writing about it. In conclusion, although my views are skewed from my own subject positionality, I was able to determine that while the movie Brokeback Mountain did make queer media more visible, I argue that the movie still represents heteronormative ideas and values.

                                                            References

Andersson, Y. (2002). Queer Media? Or; What has queer theory to do with media studies? Stockholm: University of Stockholm.

Benshoff, H., & Griffin, S. (2010). Queer cinema the film reader (Vol. 1). New York, NY: Routledge. Taylor & Francis Group.

Doty, A. (1993). Making things perfectly queer: interpreting mass culture. Minneapolis u.a.: Univ. of Minnesota Press.