#in that it's basically meant to be dialogue with some added stuff

[dansconcepts]

Bro Talk

Sometimes Hajime feels a bit insecure over Nagito liking him and reassurance from a friend is always nice.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Kazuichi’s eyebrows furrow, and he runs a hand through his hair. “Isn’t that why he likes you though?” 

Hajime pauses. 

“What do you mean?”

The mechanic shrugs. “Man, I know this is Komaeda, but doesn’t he like all the strange stuff about you?” It only causes the Reserve Course student to blink. 

“Bro. Isn’t that what love’s kinda all about? Liking all the strange stuff, and then some? Because if he isn’t, then he really doesn’t love you dude, and you deserve much better than that.” He squeezes Hajime’s shoulder. “But from what I can tell… he’s crazy about you man, and has been since day one.” 

“I- thanks.”

“No problem. Anything for my soul bro.”

It’s silent, but then… “You sound like you’re in love with someone. Is it Sonia again?”

Kazuichi’s face nearly turns as pink as his hair. “Wha-? Psh, nah…”

Hajime squints at him. His eyes widen. “You’re actually telling the truth! Who is it then?”

It takes him a few moments to think back, having to drown out Kazuichi’s protests, before he finally works it out.

“Oh. Strange stuff, huh?”

The mechanic just looks down. “Yeah. How’d you know?”

“I just thought about it a little. It’s okay. I’m happy for you.” He smiles, clapping Souda's shoulder. “You got this.”

“You too man.”

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

Pictures taken seconds before disaster.

You might have received alerts about this mod updating a bunch over the past few days, after me saying I was done with it, in true aylin_origin_final_final(2)final.pak spirit. Well, now I am done with it, unless someone finds some glaring issues.

You might also notice the little icon pop up that says the mod uses Osiris scripting - that's because I now run a little start-of-game script to handle Aylin's tags and some general setup, so she gets tagged as an aasimar in dialogues no matter what race you pick to play as stat-wise, and also to remove the "Baldurian" tag from her, because it just didn't make sense for her to have it. She also, like all origins, now has her own unique "Aylin"/"Really Aylin" tag. This doesn't do much. For now.

Note, since I've seen some confusion about this: there is no new dialogue or reactivity added to the game with this mod. It's all stuff that was already there. Aasimar are simply considered to fall under the "rare races" tag group, which means you'll get a bunch of these "oh, we don't see your kind around here much!" reactions and responses. You'd get the same ones if you were, say, a dragonborn or githyanki. I also don't have the power to change the game's fundamental storyline - this is mostly a cosmetic mod. I say this primarily because of the lovely person who commented to ask me what would happen when they arrived in Act 2 and if playing as Aylin meant the "real one" wasn't imprisoned anymore, which genuinely made my day but also made me vaguely sad.

Alas, no, it will all happen as it always has, no matter my personal willingness to fistfight Balthazar and Ketheric in a parking lot for that face up there. You'll just have two Aylins on screen during some segments which, yeah, is kind of immersion-breaking, but is also honestly a win in my books.

Also redone: her starting equipment! Again, since other origin characters have their own personalised sets, I thought it fitting to have Aylin start with the Vengeance Paladin equipment, except the warhammer is replaced with a greatsword. She also gets a bag with her iconic armour safely stowed away (primarily so that the helmet doesn't interfere with customising her hair in the character creator). It's got the stats of basic plate and no special abilities - it's mostly there for cosmetic purposes.

I also thought she should have a little souvenir.

Wings Unlocked over on mod.io is a nice and simple and noninvasive way I've found to have wings you can turn on and off, aasimar style. This is accomplished by making them an item and equipping them in the underwear slot. You know, truly putting the ass in aasimar.

As a final little starting inventory tidbit, I decided there wasn't enough gay yearning in the game, so I made sure to sprinkle some more in there - while also figuring out the letters/books system. This is something that's probably way too wordy to actually be an in-game text, but I saw a chance to have a bit of fun and I took it.

Full text under the cut.

[Worn Letter]

[A carefully creased and pressed bit of fine stationery, yellowed with age. It appears to have survived much, with parts of it stained and worn beyond legibility despite its owner's clear efforts to preserve it.]

My dearest angel, The days and nights without you at my side have been long, though I try to fill them as best as I can. While I shudder to think what dangers you wade through and what sinister plots you leave crushed in your wake, the thought of you taking the time to write in the midst of it all fills me with warmth beyond compare. We are all as well as can be. Father is as he always is, and I admit to an increasing desire to inform him of our plans to leave for our pilgrimage. But I'm getting ahead of myself; those are words best spoken in person. You asked for tidings - I cannot hope to match your poetic turn of phrase, but I'll relay what sleepy little Reithwin has been up to in your absence. There was an accident with a snapped pulley while some of old master Morfred's men were lifting marble blocks for carving. Miraculously, though I was called to assist at the House of Healing immediately, there were no injuries save for scuffs and bruises. The masons are back on their feet, fretting over ruined scaffolding and delayed statuary work. I took the liberty of trying to reassure them that the Moonmaiden won't mind too badly. In more pleasant news, we found a loving home for the last pup from Squire's litter, so both of you can rest easy at last. She and the potter's children took a shine to each other so quickly, it was a true joy to behold. I'd wager you'll spot them frolicking around when you fly over the riverside fields on your way back. I picture the looks on your beloved, handsome face as I regale you - always so wonderfully expressive! - as we sit huddled together before my fireplace at day's end. Selûne willing, I will have you back in my arms soon. I gaze up at her every night as I await your return, knowing you must be looking upon her yourself, and I pray she keeps you safe in her light. Though your duties to Our Lady send you questing far and wide, I know, as surely as the tides turn and the moon cycles through her path in the sky, she will always guide you back to me, and me to you. Until then, I do the one thing I can, and pour onto this paper whatever feeling these poor words can hold. I love you. I lov--

[saltysplayt00ns]

Page 849 Reworked

I've been waiting a long time to show this one, and had to adjust some stuff cause the author thought rushing to place an out of place fog would make things better, but just adds on the confusion of a fog only showing around their and not around the area. Also would've had a scene of them going through the fog and we seen the Two tribes coming in through the fog. This would've been a better battle and advantage CAUSE LET ME REMIND YA. There are two tribes band together to take down Meteor tribe and a few of Whispervale members. THIS IS A NO WIN BATTLE, Meteor has to be strategic and improvise from a no win scenario. Ronja and other would've taken advantage of the fog and fought them there and not up the freaking mountains. taken advantage when the elements plus the rain coming down would make it more thick in mist. THE BATTLE SPEAKS FOR ITSELF!!!.

Close-up shots;

I did adjustment of the whole scene cause this is an action scene;

Panel adjustments and add-ons

Added lighting and shadows

Added SFX

Reworked the BG

Added armor

Added tribal paint

Worked Dialogue bubble cause yikes Ronja.

KARGO HAS PAINT ON BOTH SIDES!!!

He also has the other half of his body.

Adjust to make the dogs more like fur.

Diarko had him more primitive and connect the dark markings.

Also quote from the author themselves; " No paint on any of them for this, it's tedious enough to have to draw all this armor X)" SO BASICALLY YOU, an author that is drawing a Raiding battle of tribes that is between life and death, doesn't want to do paint nor any detailed important stuff, so we don't know who's fighting who. It's not even battle armor cause None of them ARE WEARING ANYTHING TO PROTECT THEMSELVESM, Meteortribe is more equipped with clothes then the tribes that are experienced not wearing any, they're the one's that say burning bodies is ' primitive '. let me tell ya after 2-3 pages its laughable on him trying to make this the final boss type BS when they. How these dogs advanced again? ya got literally spirits giving out free loot XD This is what I mean by ' changing plot to fit the story ' and ' inconsistencies ' like this an annoying blemish, instead of a competent tribes that are more experienced and trained to handle such things, you are NOT given armor nor paint nor anything of an build-up, because you was lazy and don't know how to find an easy way to do said battle armor - PLUS don't know how to have meteor tribe not lose members. Like, why the heck are the two tribes waited MONTHS to start invading them now why not then?? because kiq. doesn't know how to fix the plot holes, since basically would've been wiped out regardless of the extra protection. why meteor waited so long to fix their defenses?

why Keirr is not with them, isn't he a family oriented dog.?

Why Rhovanion and Feaf are not their isn't Rhov and family oriented dog?

Why meteor didn't leave around winter and waited many months to move at all? , this is not a vacation, its an evacuation.

why Tribes waited years to actually start something now then 30 years ago.?

Why Roamer wants to take the idea from Kargo which was meant for Kargo, roamer, Ferah to make their ' new life? ' why not just have it where its an idea you made on your own???!!!! really putting salt on that wound ain't ya?

When did Kargo know about Rogio, more then Roamer who is literally his boyfriend?

Why Rogio dumping all the chores on Roamer to do? he's been doing it a lot and somehow Roamer have to agree, cause remember those scenes when Roamer put OUT HIS OPINION??!!! and tried to help? he gotten gaslighted and a upper cut of emotional manipulations.

Why Rogio wants a Polycule now? especially after we SAW Rogio snooping AGAIN on other dogs conversations. and Kargo so far is focused on other things then having a threesome. and all these glaring and many more glaring questions. Again the question is why?? why, why and more WHY'S. This stuff usually is dealt with after doing drafts, concepts and revisions.

-----

Ps.

The quick placement of the Fog was laughable, cause think about it like, why kiq. going to do a dues ex Machina on the mountains and not in the fogs. Think about it in a tactical planning for Ronja and writers. The Fog is more an advantage to hide in the thick mist in dark shades of the trees, then being exposer on plan sight on top of a mountain. Meteor ( Nordguard ) 1. does not know how to wield a sword, 2. they're outnumbered, 3. lack experiences and 4. have children. They needed to think strategically and fast. The fog would've been a perfect scene for them to hide in and cover their scents, Rain and thunder is coming, so more thick fog and cover up from the tribes, they would use that to their advantage and scatter the raid them around. It's a risky maneuver but Ronja can't be hesitant nor meek on this, is all or nothing. THIS STUFF IS GOOD TENSION AND CHARACTER BUILD-UP.

---- This creating armor and concepts is like whip cream on an ice cream cake for me. But hey it's not my Comic to stress over, be a pump and dump for all I bloody know . .....

Side Goodies:

Quick Armored concept for Dragonsfall

Dragonsfall Paint marks

The Dragonsfall tribe is a group of Canines who have forged a strong alliance with Fire-breathing lizards, believing themselves to be descendants of these majestic creatures. They are known for crafting a unique bronze metal, believed to be hardened and melted with metal from the scales of dragons. This bronze shines like fire, is harder than regular metal, and exhibits weird translucent colors like the scales. The tribe also molds bits of leather to create softer but sturdier materials. While they may have lost some of the fierce traits associated with dragons over time, certain traits like their scales, reproduction and facials still show hints of their connection to these mythical beings.

---

HAPPY EATING YA BLOGGERS ♥

[etheria-game]

⋗ FINALLY ADDING ANIMATIONS

You heard that right! I've finally added animations to the player. The reason this has taken quite a while is due to quite a few reasons:

First off, I was converting a bunch of stuff to use the universal render pipeline, which meant re-doing a bunch of graphics stuff. I have a few reasons for wanting to do this, mainly because I can have access to the lighting information, which is quite important for when you're doing cell shaded and stylized lighting. Here's how that's looking:

I don't really know why it took so long to get shadows working this time, but they are now, which is great:

Also, because URP has some nice soft shadows, I can have the glow thing around the light transition that I was talking about, and it isn't cut off by some jagged shadows:

It's sort of visible on the sphere, but definitely better looking than without the softer shadows:

Anyway, the other thing I was doing was actually adding the animations (kinda the whole point of this post lol). They still need a bit of work, like adding some in-between animations for when the character stops running, but its pretty good for now:

So now that I've got some basic animations and I can finally stop worrying about how the player looks (for now), I think it's time to start on actually adding some mechanics to this 'game'.

I think that, seeing as this is supposed to be an open world RPG, either A dialogue system or a fighting system is in order. This may take quite a while, and so I will try and do some stuff in-between, like adding water again... (OK, I may have a slight obsession with water)

[adultswim2021]

Moral Orel #41: “Sacrifice” | November 18, 2008 - 12:15AM | S03E11

Sacrifice is gonna be a little hard to talk about extensively because it’s not really joke-driven. It’s funny, and has jokes on it, but most of the episode is basically a one-act play taking place in Forghetty's pub. But before that, the episode actually opens with a little flashback to Numb, featuring Clay’s POV scene at the end. This time it’s not scored to Mountain Goats, and we just hear him muttering to himself. Then we join the church service at the end of the previous episode, Sundays. Reverend Putty’s sermon is about some Jesus story where a tomb or some shit gets opened and there’s nothing in it, and how nothingness can actually mean hope. 

Do you all like how I didn’t even bother to look up that Jesus stuff they referenced? Isn’t it weird that I’m ostensibly Catholic (not anymore I'm normal now! I'm Bahá’í!) and I don’t even seem to have a passing familiarity with Jesus’s greatest hits? Anyway, I had to work on my day off and I’m PISSED OFF so I’m taking out on this blog by doing a bad job. Sorry. 

Speaking of doing a bad job: I really can’t see myself going beat-by-beat for this episode, because it’s mostly dialogue. But here's the paragraph where I try and sum it up:

Various men in Moralton encounter each other in the bar and have it out with Clay, who rants and goads the others (Officer Papermouth, Reverend Putty, and Dr. Potterswheel). Clay declares that he can’t come into his stinking dead end job or else he’ll kill somebody, the drama queen! He winds up Reverend Putty and Officer Papermouth over their woes with, as it turns out, the same woman. And Clay says nasty stuff to the doctor because, as we see in Numb/the earlier scene rehashed from Numb, Clay discovered and currently possesses his handkerchief that Bloberta took out of his office.

This bar scene (which is the lion's share of the episode) ends with Clay practically begging for a pop to the face. The other men all decide against punching Clay, and simply walk out, paralleling his own father’s declaration of him not being “worth it”. 

The episode itself ends with Orel at home, calling the bar to try and reach his father. Bloberta is tearing the house apart looking for the handkerchief. Shapey actually says something eloquent (and sad!). The credits roll over footage of Clay returning to the nature reserve to retrieve the bear carcass he thinks he shot. 

This one’s a highlight for the season, just pure theater and great performances. That's episode 11 of 13! Two to go! Or three. Or… FOUR?

MAIL BAG

Normally at the end of these posts I do a 44 Nights of Orel wrap-up, but since they aired two premieres back to back, I don’t have any repeats to note. So, I’m doing a Mail Bag instead. Unfortunately that means I will not be needing the Dino and Scott picture to introduce it. Sorry.

*sung to the tune of the cartoon network ad where chicken of cow & chicken plays electric guitar on a stage* Robot Chicken yeah, Robot Chicken yeah, Robot Chicken yeAHHH

Um… link??

kevin smith looks like a fucking dog in cartoon form. they should give him a bone and let him run around the yard.

I wouldn’t leave him alone with your infant, movie tickets, or clit/brown/taint-area, that is for sure.

Hey fake woke Americans, guess who actually lives on stolen land? You do. Guess who actually lives on stolen land? You do. You do. You do. Me Jew. You do. Me Jew. You do. You live on stolen land. Anyway looking forward to your Eagleheart and Dinner in America writeups!

Hahah. Oh man. You ain’t kiddin’ brother.

My daughter turns 11 this month, I basically stopped watching adult swim not too long before she was born but I never missed a sunday before that. This has been a great look back and I'm excited to start seeing what I missed soon. 

Hey man, I know this message you’ve sent in isn’t actually finished yet, but this just meant so much to me that I had to stop reading it right here and respond immediately. I know, I’m breaking my own protocol, but it’s worth it for me to give you the extra attention. This is the stuff that’s truly important in life and it touches my heart and means the world to me. Cherish your little one, and maybe some day when she’s old enough she’ll even become a viewer and reader of this blog! I know, it seems a long ways away, but she’ll be a little adult swimmer before you know it, so cherish these moments, and know that I cherish you. Okay, onto the rest of your message:

Also, my daughters last birthday wish was a Dino and Scott banner, so could you make it happen?

No! 

Matt Christmas from cahpo

Very weird stuff you’re saying right now, but I heard he’s doing better. Isn’t that great? Surely you’re happy to hear this, and you’re not doing some tasteless bit where you’re pretending to be him right now. That would be UNTOWARD. 

me love the way you talk the way you move is so hot. now let me get you a shot of rum and then make you wanna come...with me to the ocean. that would be phat. you could be my bow cat. nice ital breeze, bring you to your knees. we jammin.

Stop doing this! I have to google it every time and pretend I already know it’s a Steven Segal song. Do you have any idea how sad it is to get weird words in the mail and then you google them and you have to look at a picture of Steven Segal. He is always giving "fuck me" eyes to the camera. This is practically assault, and I will have you removed.

I'm not the one sending you messages about the making the morel orel guys the banner but I do think it's a good idea.

It’s a good idea. It might be the idea the saves the world. But, I never buckle. The racist cartoon stays, and I will also keep being racist

Hey this is Paul McCartney of the Beatles and Wings. Happy Tasty Tuesday to all who celebrate it. Tell me about your pets.

Hi Paul. I like (not love) your rock and roll music and viral videos. I don’t have any pets they are all in hell right now. My roommate has two frisky cats and sometimes they come in here while I’m masturbating, just beh-ging for pets. Of course… I gotta hand it to ‘em. Both of them are nice. Thanks for writing in before you die next week

[katenepveu]

This is so amazing that, through the miracle of Google Lens (and, okay, a fair amount of boggling at the limitations of Tumblr's lack of support for basic HTML), I present:

An accessible text-only version of the slides, with image descriptions!

(edit: Tumblr has decided to eat the indents on the bulleted lists! I have added → to indicate that certain bullets are meant to be indented from others! WTF Tumblr!?!?! I'm very sorry to screen reader users who now may have to listen to multiple "right arrow right arrow" in some spots (and if there's something better I can do, please let me know). However since the formatting was fucked anyway I've added a readmore, at least.)

Unfortunately, Tumblr's formatting is so fragile * that I cannot insert a readmore without everything going to heck. I'm very sorry if you don't have "collapse long posts" enabled.

(* If you saw me post this before, no you didn't.)

Start of description:

Slide 1

how to make small talk with patients (and maybe other people too)

or like methods that i've developed and work well for me on average, but ultimately there are no universals in human relations, but i do think these are useful if you don't know where to start

Slide 2

also some of this powerpoint is about conversation in general, some is more specifically about nursing stuff

Slide 3

Most people also want this interaction to go well.

Slide 4

General Principles for Prolonged Small Talk with a Stranger

offer multiple conversational branches

follow patient's lead

ask open-ended questions

proportional conversation contributions

→ 1:3 ratio of talking to listening for customer service

→ personal: equal time speaking or opportunities to speak for all participants

learn to read the room

get personal but not intimate

have anecdotes and phrases ready to go

practice difficult conversations in advance

give it three shots then stop

know your exit strategies

Slide 5

important!! care about the conversation

I'm presenting a bunch of formulas here, but I want to make clear: my interactions are genuine. This is a way of thinking about conversations. All dialogue written here is the gist of what I'm saying. You still (and must!) engage sincerely, in your own voice, and with interest in the other person's thoughts. This is scaffolding you can build a conversation on.

If conversation is a dance, this presentation is explaining the steps of a waltz. You practice those foot diagram movements so you can use them in action. The dance is all in doing the dance.

Slide 6

Small Talk as Nursing Tool

Conversation as Assessment Tool

How are they talking? Slurring, raspy, very very softly, etc.

Do the words form coherent sentences?

Is what they're saying logical? Relevant?

How well can the patient describe their situation: illness, treatment, effects?

What can the patient reliably self-report?

→ capacity: what can patient perceive?

→ expression: what will the patient tell you?

Getting a feel for this patient's way of talking early on helps you detect trends or changes, especially neuro

Conversation to Build Rapport

Forming a good working relationship at the beginning of shift sets good tone.

It is easier deescalate a behavioral situation if you have already established familiarity.

Demonstrating that you're available and responsive to a patient shows they don't have to act out in order to get your attention.

Patients that are comfortable with you are more likely to tell you about subtle changes they might otherwise disregard.

Helps manage patients who talk a LOT

→ This bullet point got really long, so now it has its own slide later

Slide 7

The goal of making conversation as an assessment tool is to gather information about how the patient is experiencing their illness. You can learn about any progress, what the patient views as the most important parts of their hospitalization, and identify needs to address to customize your care plan to this patient's current condition.

Image:

Branching diagram in which

How are you feeling today?

leads to two paths

"I'm feeling [positive emotion]"

(response) "That's great! What happened?"

"I'm feeling [negative emotion]"

(response) "I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?"

text at bottom:

in both cases, you are soliciting further information with an open ended question

Slide 8

What do I talk about when I don't know what questions to ask someone?

the goal is to introduce a topic that both of you have are equally qualified to talk about, typically with the same level of investment, then in the course of talking about the general topic, you find something more specific to follow up on

basic general small talk: weather, traffic, view out of the window, what's on TV (DON'T DO THIS YET WITH THE NEWS), something innocuous happening right now, hospital beds and other amenities, animals and pets, sports

→ pursue whatever provokes enthusiasm

take the general down to the specific

→ weather happens → you talk about this weather → you talk about how it compares to other weather → you talk about how weather has affected your [wedding, sports game, air conditionless bedroom, commute to work, etc--identify your go-to anecdote.]

patient describes symptom → ask how it has been affecting their life

→ they mention a hobby it interferes with → ask about that hobby

patient mentions aspect of their life (job, birthplace, hobby, etc) → say something related to that

→ patient mentions being in the military → you: oh my mom was a military brat, did you have to move a lot?

→ patient mentions the field they work in → you: what's that? [you will learn about the wildest jobs this way]

→ patient mentions interest they have → you: wow that sounds really cool, what do you like best about that?

Slide 9

Aim for Personal, not Intimate

While you both are trying to figure out where the conversation goes, you're aiming for a controlled level of vulnerability: more than a completely "just the facts" professional exchange, less than "I've NEVER told anyone this before."

Reminder: Talking to another person involves vulnerability and risk. (That's why good conversations feel so fun!) Even with generic and uncontroversial topics, someone might accidentally go deeper than they meant, maybe even accidentally hurt someone. Don't linger anywhere you don't want to stay. It's okay to make it obvious you are changing the topic.

Personal

I went to school at [place]. It was not a great time and honestly I do not miss it. Where'd you go?

Intimate

I had a complete mental breakdown in college. At one point, all I did was lie around, smoke weed, and think about dying. It's amazing to me that I made it out at all.

Personal

How are you feeling about retirement?

Intimate

Do you worry that you wasted your life?

Reminder: just because you're comfortable sharing something intimate doesn't mean that the other person is comfortable being on the other side of that. Especially when you are providing care for them and you say something that makes them feel like they need to be responsible for your feelings. Assume intimacy is earned very slowly.

Slide 10

Levels of conversational intimacy

This slide is a flowchart, which begins by stating:

by talking about something personal and superfluous about yourself, you signal that you are open to conversation

Example:

I always wanted cats but I couldn't get until I moved out here a few years back.

Potential responses:

Pets: "oh how many"/ "what breed" / "here's my cat" Pet havers love pets.

Location: they ask "oh, where from?"

If "Pets":

Their pets

→ How are they doing while you're in the hospital? (note: natural way to learn more about their hospitalization)

→ What breed/how old/how big/wow what's it like having a snake

Your pets

If "Location":

Moving here from away

→ Where they/you lived

→ Why they/you moved here

Living here now

→ Ask about place's history

→ Ask for location recommendations

Flowchart notes:

Gradual increase in specificity. More specific = more personal

fun fact! you don't have to have a pet to talk about pets. You can talk about pets you once had, pets you'd like to have, other people's pets in your life, and/or why you don't have a pet (work too much, just don't want one, whatever). Then ask about theirs!

Slide 11

CAVEAT: SOMETIMES YOU'RE GONNA ACCIDENTALLY ASK ABOUT PETS WHO IT TURNS OUT ARE DEAD.

if you don't want to go further on this topic, acknowledge and pivot topics

→ acknowledge example: "I'm so sorry, losing a pet is hard"

→ pivot example: "Did you always have dogs?"

→ good bridge from acknowledging to pivot can pointing out you are changing the topic

→ → "I can't even talk about losing a pet, it bums me out so much."

→ → "I'm so sorry, we can talk about something else."

to see if they want to talk about it, gently probe (this signals you're open to this topic.)

→ "oh no, I'm sorry. how old were they/how long ago was that?"

→ "That's so hard. I remember when I lost [pet], I was so sad I said I'd never get [another pet] again."

if they continue the topic, they usually want to talk about their dead pet

→ Ask neutral to positive general questions

→ → "What were they like?"

→ → "How did you get them?"

→ → "That's a cute name. How'd you pick that?"

→ Talk about the pet's death ONLY IF they mention multiple times that their pet died.

→ → This looks like them discussing the grieving process, the actual event, going into details about what the death and dying process was like.

→ → → Rule of thumb:

→ → → → Multi-sentence answer = probably okay to continue this line of conversation

→ → → → One word answer = bail. new topic.

again, none of this is universal, this is my experience, everyone expresses grief differently, but I've found this to be a good approach for talking about the topic with someone you don't know well.

this also works for talking about dead human people. maybe don't ask about their breed.

Slide 12

You can draw attention to different parts of the same info to steer conversation. Pick your focus.

Example: You broke up with your partner last month, you're doing better but don't want to talk about it, and to distract yourself while heartbroken, you picked up a hobby. Someone you haven't seen in a while asks what's going on in your life:

"I just broke up with my boyfriend."

→ there's no alternate option offered except the boyfriend and the break up

"I'm thinking about starting to date again, but god, it's such a hassle."/ "Been redecorating the apartment. I've never lived alone before, it's a little nerve wracking."

→ your personal life is up for discussion but with a focus on the future, not the past

"I've gotten hardcore into knitting this month. Look at this terrible scarf." / "Nothing interesting. What about you?

→ what if we talked about anything else

Example: Patient with a Gl bleed wants the bed alarm * off.

(* I've actually got a lot of feelings about the lack of actual evidence that bed alarms prevent falls & the way they contribute to our patients' immobility but that's a different ppt & i'm trying to stay on topic A LITTLE.)

"Even if you feel steady now, there's a decent chance you could keep losing blood. You get up, get woozy, and fall without bracing yourself at all, and you've got a Gl bleed and a broken jaw."

→ provides medical reason & its effect on patient

"You'll get cleared to be independent when your condition stabilizes. Right now, if you get up on your own and fall, I guarantee you that bed alarm is NEVER going to be discontinued."

→ addresses a consequence pt might value most

"I know it's super annoying, but it's hospital policy for the first day. My nurse manager will kill me if I turn that off now."

→ I actually hate "hospital policy" as a primary reason, but there are patients out there who 1) really respect rules and/or 2) understand how managers work.

Slide 13

People are not Actually Very Good at Articulating Stuff

Some patients are more direct about their needs than others. For example, these ones don't say, "I'm in pain and would like my medication." Instead: "What is this bed made of, my ass is killing me," or "oh I can't complain I guess," or "fuck you fuck you fuck you, get the hell out of my room."

Things to consider:

IMPORTANT: people can express genuine needs in frightening, annoying, confusing, exhausting ways. Don't deny something someone needs because of the way they showed that they needed it.

Shame

→ people can feel embarrassed/ashamed of being sick or needing help

→ → the loss of autonomy and privacy

→ → especially stigmatized diseases or diseases that patients "did to themselves" (diabetes II, drug use, liver problems related to excessive drinking, complications of suicide attempts, etc)

→ → might lash out at people who provoke that shame

→ → some patients won't endorse pain but will endorse "discomfort."

Recent events

→ a patient who had a security incident today because their mom brought them meth

→ a patient who got a diagnosis today that's one of those life-defining ones

→ a patient with 10/10 pain who has waited ten minutes for someone to answer the call light

Slide 14

More Unspoken Factors

Physical condition

→ how much has the patient slept? when was the last time they ate? what is their pain level? etc

→ how difficult is it for them to eat, go to the bathroom, and turn in bed?

→ → some patients won't ask for help with something because doing it is so uncomfortable

→ → → ex. patient at risk for bed sores refuses repositioning. Why? Pain? Wakes them up? Don't understand why we do this? People do it too fast? Ask!

Time in Hospital

→ what is the relationship between the patient and the floor/careteam they have?

→ → is the patient generally liked?

→ → → if the answer is no, why does staff not like this patient?

→ → → what are possible explanations for those actions?

→ → → how does it affect their patient care?

→ → → has security ever been called? for what?

→ → is the patient part of a marginalized group?

→ → acting like you expect someone to behave badly automatically creates a hostile tone

→ → do they have visitors? are they bored? what entertainment options do they have?

→ → is their room nice to be in? (clean, not smelly, no annoying alarms, stuff in reach)

→ → the bed sucks. how much does it suck?

Slide 15

Expecting a fight can get you a fight.

you don't match their energy, you engage with the energy you want this conversation to have

you can be prepared to deal with unacceptable behavior without expecting that behavior

people get sooooooooo thrown off when you don't get mad back

allow people the opportunity to surprise you

consider your goal in this conversation: is the most important thing for you to be right?

Image: the following three sentences arranged in a circle of arrows that each lead to the next:

You think someone's an asshole so now every intervention with them is a conversation with an asshole.

Other person gets mad at being talked to like they're irrational or stupid or inherently violent so now they act like an asshole

Both of you now believe the other person is an asshole

Slide 16

useful starting points and what I do with them

people can often tell they are being treated different, even if they don't know how. acknowledging behavior is better than ignoring (and resenting) it

→ "So it sounds like from report that today didn't go great. What happened?"

→ "When you yell like that or throw something, I have to leave until you've calmed down."

→ "You shouldn't have been treated like that, and I'm sorry you were."

→ → don't automatically take the side of the hospital--trust me, staff provokes or exacerbates situations ALL THE TIME

sometimes people don't know the rules and expectations, even ones you find obvious

→ do they know they're being too loud? do they know what to hit their call light for? do they know how their meds work and when they get them? do they know when to expect vital signs? do they know why there's a bed alarm?

people generally like it when you acknowledge that things suck and when you try to do something about that

→ "That's rough, buddy." (sincere)

→ I had a patient once who was in 10/10 pain all night long, and through hard work and a lot of tries, I managed to do absolutely nothing to bring that pain down. When I went to say goodbye to her at end of shift, I said, "I'm sorry that tonight was so hard. I've documented everything we did and how it didn't work. Day shift's been told everything and will work with your doctors."

→ → and she said, "I felt better seeing how much you did and knowing that you cared."

→ → and it made me cry! and then incorporate what she said into my nursing philosophy.

Slide 17

MOST CONVERSATIONS ARE THE SAME

I've had public facing jobs my entire working career. For any given position, like 90% of what people ask and talk about are going to be the basically the same, just in different fonts.

learn the most common interactions at your job

→ what always needs to be explained?

→ what always needs to be responded to?

→ what always needs to be said?

identify the best ways you've responded to these questions

→ see what other people do, steal what works

→ identify what works best

→ → what education explanation is the clearest?

→ → what topics prompt the best conversations?

→ → what questions get you good answers?

→ → what work-appropriate anecdotes get the best response?

→ → what makes you and your conversation partner feel productive and comfortable?

→ make templates for yourself for standard conversations

→ practice new responses to see what works best for you

Slide 18

Difficult Conversations (variations on saying, "no, that's not gonna happen")

Do you even need to have this conversation?

→ patients have the right to refuse care, and the right to be involved and aware of their care.

→ Do you have any rationale beyond policy, convenience, or your personal discomfort? kill the cop in your head

→ → examine what you find uncomfortable versus unsafe

When you do have to have these conversations:

→ don't attack, don't defend. state facts, not interpretations.

→ make sure patient knows why this matters TO THEM and what happens TO THEM if nothing changes

→ make sure it is a conversation--ask the patient why this is happening and what would help.

→ listen to the patient. don't argue.

→ → make sure you understand what they're saying

→ → there's a real power in letting people rant

→ respect their decisions, protect their autonomy, believe that they think and act as complexly as you do

example: unhoused patients often deal with food insecurity. They may hoard food in their room or request a lot of snacks and meals they may not eat.

let them! who cares?

if there's dietary restrictions ordered for health reasons, explain to them why and, if possible, seek alternatives.

→ "the reason you can't eat or drink before surgery because sometimes people throw up under anesthesia and choke on whatever was in their stomach. so if you eat, they will cancel the surgery, and you'll have to keep waiting."

if they are requesting enough food that it impacts other patients, try to let them know before they hit that point.

→ "Head's up, we're running low on pudding so you can only get one more cup tonight. You wanna hold off or have it now?"

if the food has gone bad, offer replacements

→ "I'll swap that milk out for a fresh one."

→ "i'm worried that by this point, this food has been sitting out so long, it will make you sick. what else can i get you for you to have at your bedside?"

Slide 19

SOME PHRASES I HAVE ON LOCK

Sometimes someone will say something to you that, for whatever reason, you are utterly unprepared to answer. Practice some generally applicable statements to say in these moments avoid saying something you don't mean out of on the spot panic. (Don't worry about creativity. Sometimes, you simply must embrace cliche.) This can be especially useful if you don't typically have patients in psychosis or with delusions.

Wow, that sounds really [adjective] to deal with.

→ this is the best and easiest catch all. you're acknowledging what they just said without endorsing it, denying it, really expressing any opinion except that something has impacted the patient telling you this. And it's true. That situation IS really [adjective] to deal with.

I don't think we agree on this topic.

→ good for politics

I find what you said hard to believe based on the evidence I have.

→ if patient with delusion really presses you for your opinion on whatever the delusion is

→ always allow for the possibility that they're right

I want to make sure I'm giving you the right answer, so let me go doublecheck before I answer.

→ good when the patient asks a question about care and you're like "HUH. UHHHΗΗΗΗΗ."

I'm sorry. I know this isn't what you wanted to happen.

Slide 20

Help, This Old Man Will Not Stop Telling Me About His Entire Fifty Year Career: Dealing with Talkers

Definition of "talkers":

→ you're told first thing in report that they talk a lot

→ they resist all signals that you'd like to leave now

→ your participation in the conversation is optional: they will just monologue at you

→ often frequently hitting the call light for small requests that they will not cluster together

→ → i.e. getting them their sleep meds, a cup of tea, and a warm blanket will be three separate calls five minutes apart, despite the patient assuring you every time that they can't think of anything else they could need.

Seek conversation with these patients purposefully

→ You are not going to avoid conversation with this patient. It simply won't happen.

→ Staff starts dodging interactions with this patient, leading to the patient calling more and wanting to talk even longer when someone does come

→ → you MUST break this cycle

Invest a specific amount of time to be genuinely engaged in talking with them

→ I will schedule conversation w very high need patients like it is wound care or another procedure.

→ Patients like talking to someone who is not running out the door. Getting undivided attention often calms the desperation to talk.

→ Can make easier to get out of the room faster in the future. They know you'd stay and talk if you could. (And you feel less guilty about dipping.)

Slide 21

HOW TO EXIT A CONVERSATION THAT WON'T END

There's always going to be someone that's like "oh just leave." If I was confident enough to just leave, I wouldn't be making a powerpoint presentation about how to talk. Here are some tricks to derail the monologue and remind everyone of the world outside this room:

Make clear when you arrive how long you can stay. That makes it easier to look at the clock and go, "oh shoot, I gotta run."

→ variation: set a timer on your phone to go off loudly. When it does, say, "I've gotta go check on something."

Have a buddy. Tell them if you don't come out of room 314 in ten minutes to come knock on the door and tell you a doctor is on the phone.

If you have a vocera or other communication device, you might be able to schedule a voice reminder. Patients understand you have to go when your pager equivalent dings.

Say you have to give pain or nausea meds to someone else. Now you sound like a bad nurse if you don't leave.

When all else fails, you just have to go, "Well, I'm gonna leave now, see you in an hour," as you are actively walking out the door.

Slide 22

FIGURING OUT WHEN IT'D ACTUALLY BE REALLY ANNOYING FOR YOU TO TALK

Sometimes patients hold you hostage in endless conversation. Sometimes you're trapping them, and they have much less of an ability to just leave. A lot of patients want peace and quiet; a lot of patients really jump at the chance to talk to someone if given an opportunity. Try three times and see the response.

(1) Overture -- couple sentences in first part of the shift that contains details that are that not essential for practicality and allow for follow up questions.

Overture: "Do you want me to adjust the lights? I love that there's a dimmer switch in this room. This is the only floor I float to that has so many lighting options. Well, this one and maternity."

Every other time I'd ask this question: "Lights on, off, whadya want?"

(2) Question -- ask a question about them that is related to care but not purely medical.

"How have you been sleeping?"/"How have you been eating?"

"Was that your family in here earlier?"

"Oh hey, you transferred here from [x]? That's a long way, how'd they bring you here?"

"Is there anything else I can get you? Do you do word searches or sudoku, anything I can print out for you?"

(3) Follow up once do one more of the two things listed above.

This is for the people that need a little warm up.

If they don't respond meaningfully to any of these three attempts, stick to the strictly professional.

Slide 23

ONE LAST DISCLAIMER BEFORE WE GO

this is stuff that generally works for me, someone who made a powerpoint on minmaxing chit chat. so, yknow. interpret that as you will.

these "rules" are more conservative and rigid than they have to be

→ there's a lot of flexibility and grace in actual conversation. But if you feel like you don't have an ear for the rhythm and content of small talk, it's nice to have structure while you practice.

again: NONE of this means I don't care about a conversation or everything is a formula. everything here is something that's helped me be less anxious about conversations, to improve the conversations I have, and to reduce my mental load so I can enjoy conversations. It's fun to talk to people!

→ I cannot tell you the amount of staggeringly intimate conversations patients have had with me in the middle of the night because I make it clear that I'll listen nonjudgmentally. It is my favorite part of the job and some of the most important care I can provide.

Slide 24

BONUS SECTION: EMPATHY

I have no idea what's obvious to people or not. Here's how I approximate what someone else might be feeling in in situations I've never experienced.

Slide 25

EMPATHY EQUATION because sometimes people don't tell you what they feel or they don't know themselves or they don't know what to ask for in this situation so you have to make a guess.

Break down the situation to its core.

Identify a similar experience I've had.

Identify what I wanted in my similar experience.

Break down I would have wanted down its core.

Adjust for magnitude of the situation.

Apply context specific variables.

See if I can find a way in current circumstances to express the core of what I would have wanted.

Slide 26

Example: Patient who habitually uses fentanyl and meth is admitted for an infected leg wound and grows angry they aren't getting more opioids.

(1) Break down the situation to its core.

patient is in distress

patient perceives that the thing that would relieve that distress is being denied to him by people who could provide it

(2) Identify similar experiences I've had.

miserably enduring earaches as a child

being unable to get my adderall filled and feeling angry that I had to chase down my meds

(3) Identify specifically what I wanted in my similar experience.

my earache to stop

to just get sleep so I didn't have to deal with this

to get my adderall so I didn't feel so concerned with rationing the remaining pills

for people to not treat my problem as meaningless or even an annoyance to them

(4) Break down those wants to their core

pain relief

rest and recovery of my body

reliable access to my medication

respect and compassion

Slide 27

Empathy Example, continued

(5) Adjust for magnitude of the situation.

infected leg wound is much more painful than an earache

(6) Apply context specific variables.

people who use drugs are often shamed for it

patient at baseline tolerates and is used to a very high level of opioids

people don't tend to abuse fentanyl when their life is going well

patient has a new pain on top of chronic condition managed by habitual drug use

(7) See if I can find a way in current circumstances to express the core of what I would have wanted.

pursue multimodal methods of pain relief (tylenol, ice, muscle relaxers, elevation, ice packs, distraction, meds for other symptoms)

prioritize protecting sleep (limit awakenings, cluster care, prioritize your interventions and assessments, etc) and promoting comfort (more pillows, warm blanket, hot chocolate, hospital mocktail, making the room smell better, turning off lights shining directly in patient's eyes)

reach out to doctor about pain management plan, advocate for more opioids if that is indicated (in this example, almost certainly is). sometimes more opioids up front to decrease pain means less opioids overall bc now you're in maintenance mode, not crisis mode. get patient as consistent a pain med schedule as I can so they know when they can expect medication and what it will be. develop plan with patient about when they want to be woken up for meds.

tell the patient what you're doing and what you'll do next if that doesn't work. tell them that you're sorry they are in so much pain and you are trying to improve the situation. proactively round on them to assess progress of your interventions. it is distressing and hurtful to be in pain and feel that no one even cares enough to give you better treatment than you'd get leaving AMA and self-medicating.

No Deep Conversations When Someone Is Still Yelling

Later when things are calmer and you have a better relationship, you can debrief with the patient about what happened. Ask the patient what they were feeling and what would help in the future, while being realistic about what you can and can't promise. While in crisis, keep sentences short, calm, and practical. Focus on taking actions that address the core needs.

End of description.

One of the stranger things about training brand new nurses is explaining how to min max small talk. It feels very weird to coach people on how to chat.

[doctor-badadvice]

I could be starting this by saying "Here we go again" but that would imply a precedent. Since I'm here to complain, I can address for a bit the other cartoon I never mention on here.

When Rise was first announced, I looked at the artstyle and said no. When I was being recommended to watch the show "for the plot" I said no. When I finally watched the first episode and found everything and everyone to be incredibly unpleasant and annoying, I said no once again and never came back.

Because that's a thing that we can do. Why didn't I do that again this time? Because I was mighty bored last week.

But mainly, I had the time to waste taking to the seas to watch ten episodes of twelve, until said seas dried up and went offline because the policeman is always watching. I told myself "Surely Tales can't be as bad as Rise, right? They're milking the '87 show again, they have to do the bare minimum to be watchable, right?" And I was correct. They didn't go past the basics (which mainly means not making Donatello an arrogant piece of shit but don't think I like this one much more either after that left brain/right brain bit) and it's so devoid of any charm it felt like a gaming journalist wrote for the show.

So before I fully descend into madness and start sounding even more like Caddicarus, I'll just sum up my gripes with the show so I can then focus on what I actually want to talk about.

TL;DR Tales of the TMNT is Nickelodeon's third attempt at making a TMNT show whose only achievement is making the 2012 show look better because the bar has somehow been lowered even more than that and it keeps descending. I dislike the visuals, the voices, whatever passes for plot and dialogue, the way it treats the characters and it made me forget what laughing feels like.

Fuck this show. Now for the meaningful stuff.

This isn't even good for the promotional material

I'm just going to go on about things I've noticed while watching.

There's a feeling I've been unable to shake off since Mutant Mayhem was first shown: for some reason, they decided that TMNT had to look like something else. I didn't watch the movie because of the ungodly amount of references that would have made understanding anything the say a chore, but also because, to me, it looked like it was drawn using moldy crayons. I'm sure everybody else liked it, I think it's about time we put Spiderverse on the high shelf so the industry has to try literally anything else.

So, the show is animated this way because it's supposed to be Leonardo's comic (the second half isn't but shush). You'd think this meant we'd get some closeups and cool camera angles but instead we have a choppy storyboard with no lip syncing whatsoever with random bouts of fluid animation that only end up looking even more awkward than the rest. The action scenes are unenjoyable due to them having been left at keyframe stage and generally speaking, the choreography is really nothing to write home about.

I still won't pay any attention to anything that gives Donatello nerd glasses because fuck Michael Bay specifically and Raphael has been reduced to an orc barbarian again, while Leonardo doesn't even look like he belongs in the same show as the others. In many shots he actually looks more like an '87 Leo redraw from any of the crossovers because his design didn't receive any of the ugly "improvements" they're so bent on adding these days. Half of the mutant cousins are revolting while the others would look fine (and also get handled better) in Deltarune. Oh, and Master Splinter has been turned into a meme again because imagine having a single adult character with some dignity in a Nick show.

If I already wasn't having a good time looking at this, listening to it ended up being just as bad. Either you're subjected to the most generic background music or it's empty church quiet. The brand new soundtrack for this brand new show is just as bad and I can't for the life of me remember any of it, which is always a good sign.

I'm going to actually spend a minute here to talk about the voice acting. It might be technically decent, but none of the characters sound like they belong. The turtles sound like actors in the recording studio reading lines so much I was expecting to hear a laughing track most of the time, or for Velma to show up. Splinter isn't allowed to speak normally anymore because his VA would be too expensive, and April sounds like she doesn't even want to be in her own show.

Oh, and Rod is a curse upon humanity in every way. Please delete him before Jar Jar Binks shows up to hang out with his long lost cousin.

Lots of potential, not a single risk taken

Am I going to nitpick a show for kids? Why yes, given it's also marketed at adults with money to spend on toys. They're quite terrible, by the way. It's like they took their time to select the most unpleasant shades of green ever.

In any case, let's talk about the writing. It can be best described in one word: padding. The turtles exist in the same scenes in maybe two or three episodes, otherwise each episode is about a single turtle fucking around somewhere almost getting someone killed in the process. Both tales could be easily resolved in a couple of two-parter episodes but that would have required spending five minutes on worldbuilding to make the city feel alive in any way in the remaining episodes. It's just so much easier to bank off the movie.

The fact I have to do homework to watch a show obviously pleases me greatly too, of course. But I'm sure nothing of value was lost since everything happens in a vacuum anyway. What do they do with all this extra time, then?

They repeat the same plot points and jokes over and over, sometimes even multiple times in the same damn episode. Unfortunately, saying it again and louder doesn't make any of the jokes funny (and I specifically don't want to see someone get sick in the stomach or straight up vomit eight fucking times). The turtles are always off with some forcefully goofy non-turtle character who will be making noises or petty remarks such as "Oh, this is goofy. That didn't just happen. I'm so scawed, do something. Why aren't you solving this problem with your smartphone?"

Every episode has a pop culture reference, because I guess we needed the turtles going to school and watching Star Wars will make them more relatable, but it only serves as a reminder that you could be off watching anything else.

And with the mess Paramount did of Star Trek in recent years, they don't get to make fun of Enterprise. Archer faced off time traveling alien nazis which is way more ambitious than anything shown here.

Stuff has been recycled. Raphael doing the Batman bit was underwhelming when Michael Bay did it and it's just as insignificant ten years later. Donatello gets a spring staff for five minutes in one episode again, then it's gone forever because I guess the writers just really need to empathize that wood isn't very good at slicing like metal. Michelangelo is the group's nitwit because every group in a Nick show needs an idiot to make fun of to the point of being cruel, and Leonardo… Well, he has anxiety, I guess.

April calls herself a "journalist" but feels more like that influencer kid from Megamind 2. All the adult men are stupid and/or annoyingly useless and all the adult women manage something but also get so little attention, because we haven't cracked a joke in ten seconds, that their characterization is as deep as a piece of paper. Also Barnie is there. I'm sure everybody missed that guy.

Adding to that, they're strictly checking off points from a list to get through the episode. You just know what's going to happen next because they don't even change up the order a bit. No risk is taken ever. The supposed theme of the show, some generic "family matters" bullshit, is so diluted you hardly notice and the handholding is so strong you bet every single villain is just going to be a poor misunderstood sad bean who did nothing wrong UwU.

But I'll get back to this in a moment.

The problem with Nickelodeon

There's a few topics I specifically left out so far. The fact you don't see a lot of ninja out of these turtles but only endless teen commentary. The way it's essentially a sin to be smart and completely useless because violence is the answer. How April is being reduced once again to being the assigned mother of the turtles and the fucking love interest of one of them. The constant push to make anybody relatable because god forbid people find interest in the story of somebody unlike them. The fact nothing feels real because the funny takes priority over atmosphere and storytelling so not even the generic pep talks matter.

But that's classic Nickelodeon (and classic Paramount), isn't it? They can't make a good Spongebob episode these days, you bet they can't make something that passes for an acceptable action show. Overall, watching Tales of the TMNT brings nothing to the table. It's a generic kids show with a brand attached. They're going through the motions but there is no heart. The turtles have been placed in such neat little boxes that they end up being more generic than when they didn't have accessories, or different shapes, or were constantly rambling about pizza, and they even treat each other as walking tropes.

It's so obsessed with being marketable that everywhere you look, your mind goes "Ah, it's just like that other thing" when it shouldn't be this way. TMNT has the rare gift of being able to get weird and still make sense when properly handled.

But that isn't the case when show is too scared to even show real gangsters so I guess it'll be gone in a couple of seasons again.

One last note on Bishop

Because I’m a biased party. There was no need to call her Bishop. Even when you take away the man in black, the character at its core is someone with a Machiavellian drive who's looking at the bigger picture, prioritizing the end over the means, who's ready to go against the rules and even risk subverting the order of things they too benefit from if the result is deemed worthy of the risk (something that applies to 2012 Bishop too, actually). This Bishop, on the other hand, is just annoyed the turtles were there when a mutant messed with her lab and her employer is too rich and white to care about her sad backstory.

Truth be told, I got the impression they panicked upon realizing Baxter is dead in this universe and just kinda slapped three characters together in one to make up for it.

In practice, she's a wannabe Yzma without even a good Kronk to go with to make watching their antics worth the while.

[syncopein3d]

I used to do a lot of novella style text rp, first on Skype and then Discord, with people I picked up from mostly reddit, rarely here, and occasionally on Barbermonger. It wasn't because of ghosting that I quit looking. Ghosting is a frustrating inevitability of the process. It was mostly because of conflicting expectations. You see, to me there are two primary groups of rpers: storytellers and fuckers.

Storytellers want there to be a plot with a planned ending and for the characters to, if not change over it, do some interesting stuff during it.

Fuckers want to get their character laid.

There are a lot more fuckers. Sometimes they overlap. I would rp with both despite being largely in the story category because I'm aegosexual and I don't care if the characters bang or not, or in what combo of genders/sexualities. I would be looking for a good writer first, and if that meant I would be writing sex scenes, fine, sometimes those are hot. I've always loved writing dialogue and relationships, and romance and sex is a subtype of that.

The fact that I'm indifferent to my character's sex, gender, and orientation means I've written men and women both. (I always said that I'd happily play third genders, but no one asked.) I would ask partners up front what they preferred, they usually wouldn't admit it, and then I would pick the opposite gender to their stated irl one because most were straight people. People wanting queer relationships were more likely to write or respond to queer prompts, so that usually worked out. Playing gay women with a straight man was my least favorite, but in their defense, a lot of straight women wanted to play absolutely the worst yaoi twinks imaginable, and I didn't love that either.

To be clear, I love bottoms and subs; I'm a top who will reluctantly switch occasionally. My problem with these specific situations was that they ended up with me topping for characters who wouldn't exercise any agency in the story. They would want to be dragged everywhere. They wouldn't introduce lore. They wouldn't describe a room, let alone an interesting conflict or antagonist. What happens next? My character is the bottom, so it's not my problem! I asked someone to help me write a conflict once and they wrote, "then they fought some bandits, killed them, and moved on." Great. Thanks. I'll write with the bitchiest high maintenance brat in the universe before I'll write with a dead fish.

So you're probably wondering what's wrong with me that I haven't mentioned yet, like a perfect rp ad with suspicous adjectives in the partner description (open-minded towards what??). I'm a monsterfucker, kind of. I didn't care what species the other person was. I wanted to play nonhumans or humans that are altered. The closest I've come to playing a regular human was a woman with a red mutant eye she hid under a patch, and a human man with some severe scars from surviving a plague.

Basically picture a woman whose characters are never regular hot humans, who doesn't care which genitals they have, but does care intensely about story and grammar. I also wrote OC only, meaning we'd both make up characters rather than, say, the other writer playing Guilliman and me playing Yvraine or vice versa. I preferred original universes, but would write in Warhammer 40k, Fallout, and Elder Scrolls, all settings with broad, deep, relatively complicated lore.

Already you can see why it usually took me a while to find partners. I was about ninety degrees off from what most rpers wanted or were interested in, and I was picky as Hell. Frankly it's amazing I found as many partners as I did. I would end up talking at cross purposes a lot, because the other writer was focused on how to get the characters rubbing their bits together while I was trying to figure out how we get to the city where the big multispecies council happens. Eventually I found people who could do both, but I had to take the attitude toward rp ads that some men take toward dating, where you fire something off a hundred times to get one reply. Except I had it easier than straight men trying to date, because I would get at least one reply of some kind to most ads. Oh, and I'm also absolutely insufferable, if this essay so far has failed to make that clear. Like just a huge fucking twit. This has been less of an obstacle than you might suppose.

The sock puppet people were pretty funny when they were obvious. OC Only in an ad weeds out the people who want you to be Loki or Widowmaker so their horrible self-insert can knock boots, but I would still run across prompts that were very obviously someone looking for dubcon daddies and trying not to admit that directly. Originally I didn't understand why they wouldn't just say what they wanted. I eventually learned it was because actual erotic rp sites are revolting, and they were hoping to recruit someone without a lot of existing gross fetishes who would service their fetishes instead. They definitely wouldn't think of it this way. I think they probably were thinking something more like "can't we just have fun without it having to be about (X thing I'm super not into)?"

Normalcy is a shaky concept on the internet, my friends.

In the end, it ended up being easier and more fun to write and publish my own stories most of the time, whether as a novel no one reads on Kindle or a series of erotic and non erotic stories several people read on AO3. (The erotic ones get more views. By like, a lot.) I still write with a couple of friends, but I can't see myself doing public rp ads again. It's not just that I'm too old, although I really am at this point. I think the fact is that roleplay is different from writing, and I've never been very good at it.

[filmsrus]

FILM FORM

THE SHOOT

THE REHEARSAL

Due to issues with our pre-production, we had to squeeze all of our rehearsals into one day. We’d already had done a recce at both locations but not a rehearsal with equipment. In the morning, whilst Ben, our producer got some last minute stuff organised for the shoot, I ran lines with our actors and Nikola practiced their makeup and costume. I printed off a copy of the script for all 3 of our actors and let them get comfortable with it and ask any questions they had. We got so lucky with how talented our actors were - I had little notes to give and was so happy to see the film come to live. We sent the actors home, picked up equipment and dressed the set and blacked out the windows before rehearsing. We even tested the Timelapse and put a pair of tights over the lens for a dreamy, hazy look. Finally, we went to our second location, the bus stop, and did the same there. It was a long day but it definitely saved us.

DAY 1

We shot the party scenes in the day time as we could block our sunlight with flags, deciding to save the evening for the bus stop scenes. We began with the dialogue heavy scene between Ewan, Megan and Kyle to give that as much time as it needed, and because our actors were so brilliant, we stayed on schedule and got all coverage needed. We also had 2 cameras as Ben Brough his black magic. We had 3 other extras to make the space feel more like a party and I gave them all an action to do for both continuity’s sake as well as making sure they didn’t look awkward. I felt confident in giving directions to both crew and cast and I felt like we were all having fun which took a lot of the stress I had felt beforehand away. James had come whilst filming and Nicola, our makeup artist, and our costume designer, Evie, started on his costume and makeup whilst we finished up. We sent our actors, except for Ewan and James, home and gave Ewan an hour long break whilst we set up for the next scene and finished up James’ costume. 

We decided to do a wet-down incase it rained on the second day of the shoot. Me and Ben dumped buckets of water into my wheelie bin before discovering there was a massive hole in it, emptied another wheelie bin and restarted the process only to realise that this wheelie bin also had a hole in it, meaning Ben basically ran with it to the bus stop. He did an amazing job with it and it really added to the atmosphere of the film. We got most of the coverage needed at the bus stop on the first day amazingly, and if our batteries had a longer life than 5 minutes due to the cold weather, we probably could had wrapped it. Ben had to keep making the 5 minute journey from the bus stop to my flat for new batteries and buckets of water - it made us really appreciate the close proximity of our locations. It meant we could take breaks and let actors and some members of the crew go to the flat for quick breaks whilst setting up and that we had easy access for toilets. Nikola did a great job at making sure our talent was as warm as possible, giving them blankets, hats, coats and hotwaterbottles in-between every take. Finally, we wrapped at 10 or so and I felt confident that we were in the works of a great film.

DAY 2

We had a later call time this day, of around 1pm due to the cast’s schedules, which ended up working perfectly as it meant we could rehearse the one scene we didn’t get a chance to - the hallway scene. It took some time and the cast and extras started arriving as we were finishing up, which was okay for us as Nikola and Evie did everyones costume. We got John and Megan on the stairs and a few extras behind them for the shot in which Ewan leaves the party. Because of the tight space, we had to shoot from outside the door during the day, we had to block out the sunlight, which amazingly, we did by holding up a massive black flag over the doorframe, with a black umbrella open at the top. We then took a small break and did the Timelapse. 

The Timelapse consisted of our cast and 5 extras acting as though they're at a party whilst Ewan zoned out on the couch, motionless. It was a lot of fun, once we got over the awkwardness of the first take, everyone got comfortable and had a good time with it. I let Ewan pick the music and again, I told each extra what their characters personality is and gave them an action to do that would interact with the set in a way that agreed with continuity. We got some wild track of party chatter.

We then had a break again, James arrived and was put in costume. We went to the bus stop and got all of the close ups we ran out of time for the previous day and I was so glad that Ben had wet down that scene as it did in fact rain. It made things a bit more difficult in keeping equipment and cast dry, but Nikola did a great job in making sure the actors were happy and we got to put our equipment in the arched doorway of a shop beside it. We weren’t out for long at all and wrapped much earlier than expected. 

I’m so thankful for our crew. Every single one of them was incredible. Nikola kept actors happy and dressed the set and did makeup amazingly. Evie made a beautiful costume for us which I was so excited for - it was so cool to have a costume made just for our film. Ben especially was a lifesaver - he was such a great AD (which Nikola took over in when he was busy) that I never had to even check the time - he kept me in line and was honest when I needed to move onto something. I had mentioned at the beginning that I wanted him to tell me if I was taking too long with a take that wasn't working out to not waste any time and that’s exactly what he did, which I was so grateful for. We never really fell behind schedule. He also was so positive throughout the entire shoot and kept our morale up and made sure that everyone - cast and crew - were comfortable, fed and happy. Molly, along with George as her first AD also was just incredible. I felt like me and her had the exact same vision and communicated every idea or worry we had with each other. I trusted her completely with every shot and she was so welcoming to any suggestions I had. Niamh did a great job with sound too - she kept everything organised and communicated exactly what she needed. Lenny also was able to make it to a bit of each day and did anything we needed help with without complaining. 

I am so incredibly excited to hand this project over to George and Niamh now. I will be helping George with the grade. This was such an incredible experience, it completely reinstated that I want to be a director. I felt so confident in my role, I absolutely loved it. 

[creatiview]

[ad_1] If you want a sense of how fraught US-China relations are, consider this: a balloon just derailed a diplomatic summit. Okay, not just any balloon — a surveillance balloon that belongs to the People’s Republic of China, and is currently drifting through US airspace. Its presence has led to Secretary of State Antony Blinken indefinitely postponing a planned meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping. The Chinese government has confirmed the balloon is theirs, though it claims it’s “mainly civilian” and studying the weather. The wind, China says, blew the balloon off course, which sounds like a thing that happens to balloons, except, these must have been very specific winds that just happened to carry the balloon over some “sensitive sites,” as the Pentagon put it. Specifically, the balloon was spotted in Montana, which is home to one of three nuclear missile silo fields. The Pentagon has also said the balloon is “maneuverable.” Which is why the US apparently rejects China’s innocent explanation and has called the presence of the balloon in US airspace “a clear violation of our sovereignty, as well as international law, and it is unacceptable that this has occurred.” The US also nixed this highly anticipated meeting between Blinken and Xi in Beijing, a sign of just how fragile the relationship between Beijing and Washington is right now. There have been spy balloons before, and there are more stealth ways to surveil and spy — which everyone, the US included, is doing. But this one slow-moving setback has derailed even the most basic efforts at dialogue. Add to that the US political jockeying over the Biden administration’s China policy, and of course, this balloon thing would, well, blow up. The spy balloon is still hanging out over the US, but this isn’t the thing you should worry about Right now, the balloon is still over the United States at an altitude of about 60,000 feet. (For reference, planes fly at about 35,000 feet.) The surveillance equipment alone is about the size of two to three school buses, officials said, with the balloon part being even bigger. Pentagon officials said Friday it’s “somewhere over the center” of the country, heading east, and they expect it to hang around for another few days. The Pentagon has said it is not a military or physical threat, and a senior defense official said in a briefing Thursday that, based on what the US can tell, “it does not create significant value added over and above what the PRC is likely able to collect through things like satellites in Low Earth Orbit” — that is, Beijing is not really getting the good stuff. The US is still taking additional steps to lock down information, but has said it has ruled out shooting it down because the resulting debris could cause even more damage than the balloon itself. But the US’s firm response, and China’s likely obfuscation, show just how unstable this relationship is. Neither Washington nor Beijing has a clear sense of how to communicate or deconflict, and doesn’t even have many channels to regularly practice doing so. That ambiguity makes a miscalculation or an escalation more likely. As China seeks to build its power abroad, and the US seeks to contain or restrain it, the possibility of close calls or misunderstandings will build with it. And not every miscommunication might be so low-stakes. This was a slow-moving balloon, after all, not, say, a near-collision of military aircraft. This is exactly what Blinken’s trip to Beijing was supposed to help fix. His visit was meant to stabilize the relationship and build off the November summit between Biden and Xi in Bali that at least offered a glimmer of hope that the two powers wanted to find ways to engage. A senior state department official said in a Friday briefing that it had no timeline to reschedule Blinken’s trip, but that the US felt if Blinken went to Beijing now, “it would have significantly narrowed the agenda that we would have been able to address.” In other words, they’d just talk about the spy balloon, like everyone else.

The polarized US domestic climate is also complicating this. Biden, like his predecessor Donald Trump, has maintained pretty hawkish policies on China, including keeping Trump tariffs in place; curbing the sale of semiconductor technology and getting allies and partners to do the same; and continuing to strongly back Taiwan. Still, Republicans, in particular, have accused the Biden administration of being insufficiently tough on China. Many leaders seized on the balloon incident as an example of the administration’s failings. “China’s brazen disregard for U.S. sovereignty is a destabilizing action that must be addressed, and President Biden cannot be silent,” Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy tweeted. The growing hawkishness toward China is clouding the US’s reality and foreign policy response. As long as the US sees China as a threat — and a direct threat to the United States — then a seemingly low-stakes spy balloon can become a national security crisis. There are legitimate security concerns about China’s surveillance tactics, and what it is doing with the information gathered — but honestly, the Chinese Communist Party doesn’t need a balloon for that, just maybe your cellphone. None of this bodes well for any easing of tensions between the US and China, and this incident shows that, right now, Washington and Beijing are struggling mightily to make those tensions more predictable and manageable. Yes, I'll give $120/year Yes, I'll give $120/year We accept credit card, Apple Pay, and Google Pay. You can also contribute via [ad_2] Source link

[writernopal]

Resident pantser checking in here! 🫡 I'll make a bulleted list and then expand on the points as needed for legibility.

What does your drafting and editing process look like?

Set some kind of objective

This could be the ending of novel/work or simply a pivotal/exciting scene I want to get to. If I do know the ending (I don't always do), then I choose a part that I know plot-wise has to happen before then and set that as my goal. That said, I have sat down in front of a blank document before and just let it take me where it wants to go, even if I already had an ending in mind. If the ending changes then I just roll with it.

Write until the objective is reached

This part of the process is pretty bare bones, mostly getting dialogue down, setting, and general character movement/feel. Basically, the very minimum of what needs to be written to get to where I'm going. Think of this like drawing a straight line from Point A to Point B on a page. Again, none of this is planned or outlined. I just sit down and go.

Add fluff (Repeat as needed)

As the name implies, I go back to where I started writing (yes, ALL the way back to the beginning) and start adding fluff. These are things like adding more descriptors, fleshing out movement in the scene, facial expressions, vocal intonation, visual/auditory cues, inner dialogue, additional characterization (direct and indirect) etc.

Editing

This is run-of-the-mill stuff, catching grammar mistakes, spelling errors, etc.

Surprise Event: Nuke it

This can happen at any point in my process, even at setting the objective part. If I decide I don't like something, it doesn't make sense for the plot, or doesn't fit well for the characters, I copy that whole section and paste it into a doc called "Prompts", leave it there, and try again. It doesn't matter to me if the part I'm cutting is 200 words or 20,000. I WILL NOT HESITATE. Why? Because I can just write more. The time/energy invested just doesn't matter to me because even if I'm not using what I had right away, there is a chance I might in the future, and even if I don't, I still learn something from it. To drive this point home, I was 30k words into AASOAF 2 when I cut 25k from and started again. The finished work still ended up with 105k words.

What are your best tips and tricks?

Know your characters REALLY well

This, in part, is why I have no issue getting rid of things, even really big plot points/conflicts. If you know your characters inside and out, no matter what you come up with next, you will be able to drop them into and write something that feels "right". I find it helps me be less married to ideas when I come up with them and gives me more freedom to be creative because I have something to hold onto.

Fail Fast

Let me explain. First, there is no "failure" in writing. What I mean when I say this is to dive in, hit speed bumps quickly, learn something from them, and recover. Don't wallow, don't despair. You can ALWAYS write more. ALWAYS. (Stop shaking your head. You absolutely can. I believe in you!)

Learn to timebox

Have you ever entrenched yourself in an idea so hard that you refuse to let go of it and you end up "forcing" it to work? (That's okay, I think we all have.) Let me be clear, committing to an idea is not a bad thing, nor am I advocating that you abandon the story that you want to tell because it's challenging. But if something is really not working, and it's been plaguing you for months/weeks/whatever or isn't making you excited to write, LET IT GO. You can always come back to it later! It's not going anywhere, I promise!

Save your rippy bits!

I truly believe there are some pieces that are meant to stay "unfinished". That is, there are some pieces that you're not meant to fill in all the plot holes or tie off loose ends. Those pieces are meant to hone something specific in your writing arsenal, and "not finishing" them should not be considered a bad thing, nor should it be considered a failure. Instead, see these pieces as ones that you can draw on for what you write next. Some of them might even be resurrected and added to your latest and greatest WIP!

I will end with my biggest piece of advice for anyone who pants' (?verb? lol) or writes in general:

Your writing, your ideas, your drafts, and your WIPS are NOT EPHEMERAL. They are NOT SILOED. They are NOT ABANDONED. They all go into honing you as a writer and your style. They are all an amalgam of who you are as a writer, so don't be afraid of losing those things. You physically cannot lose them because they came from you, and they are, continue to be, and will always be FOR YOU.

I’m curious. Pantsers— writers who go into a draft without an outline— what does your drafting and editing process look like? What are your best tips and tricks?

[emblemxeno]

It really sucks that the Fates retranslation mod author added in and or/changed a bunch of stuff from the original game, because if the description of the mod is to be believed, this might just be the best English translation Fates has ever had; they went through every version of the game's script they could find, including the localized one, the original japanese one, and the other fan translations, all to ensure accuracy, have a team working with them to double-check for mistakes, went out of their way to make the dialogue sound natural, and plan on translating ALL of the game, including supports.

Given that those last two points are practically the biggest issues with the og english patch (there are some mistakes here and there in terms of poor translation from what i've heard, but the big flaws with the mod are that a lot of the dialogue reads heavily stilted and unnatural, along with large swathes of the game remaining untranslated from the original japanese, and probably will stay that way for the rest of time given that the mod team has been dead for half a decade at this point), having a mod that's basically just the english patch but better and actually finished seems like a dream come true.

Annnd then they started adapting scenes from Fates's supplemental material into the story; and made Lilith into a playable character in the main story, along with writing and adding in supports for her based off interactions she has with other characters in supplemental material; and created new supports for the Corrinsexuals based off some of their interactions from the Nohrian festival of bonds DLC; and “rebalanced” certain characters; and made up new boss conversations for if certain characters fight a boss; and completely rewrote the Male Corrin and Soleil support chain; and added in more same sex S-supports; and rewrote the begginings of Peri's support conversations to have her be less hostile to the other party; etc…

Like, i appreciate the amount of effort that must have been put into all those new additions, especially since Fates supplemental material isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world to find, but this isn't a retranslation anymore; this is a content patch of Fates with a new translation slapped on top of it.

And i'd be fine with that, if only the retranslation and the stuff that straight-up changes the game were put in different mods; if they had one mod that was called “Fates retranslation”, and it actually WAS just the base game but with a translation that's more faithful to the original jp script (kinda like another Fates retranslation patch out there), and another called “Fates expansion”, where all the stuff that changes the game and/or adds in new content for it was put, i wouldn't have any issues with this whatsoever.

However, that's not how it works; as far as i'm aware, if you download the retranslation mod, you're gonna have to deal with all the extra changes to the game that came with it, which alter the game so much you're still better off playing the unfinished, awkwardly translated english patch if you want to see what a more faithfully-translated Fates looks like.

Man, Fates's just cursed to never get a good, finished localization, isn't it?

Most likely yeah. Idk why people are so dead set on changing stuff that didn't need to be changed. Localization/translation isn't meant to be "create your own story from these building blocks" it's just... translate a script in such a way that you get the same info as the original, but it's more readable to the audience that uses the different language.

[the-kk-crow]

Dreamtale Sans Update

As always make sure to check his website for the newest download links if you need them :D

This update was fun to do. It’s mostly a lot of polishing, and efforts into making the character feel more alive. Something something tomagachi.

Additions:

Sit mode - After 15 minutes of no interaction, Night will sit down and read through his book and have other sitting-specific dialogue. This means no more jarring standing/sitting up randomly while clicking through menus! Mildly related, he starts complaining if you leave him out for hours at a time.

New Main Pose - The new one has a lot more positions and will change expression depending on how much he likes you/how comfortable he is being there. [Old one for reference]

Stats Menu - The configuration menu has been reworked into a stats menu, where you can check all sorts of numbers and easily change things around. Most importantly it tells you stuff like your LV and relationship points.

More Item Dialogue - More responses to you giving him stuff! no more stuff added, though. Just like “give thing” has more responses.

More Random Dialogue - A lot of the old dialogue was contradictory with the LORE so it had to be replaced. + I made some new stuff as well, lol.

New Pick Up Pose - A new pick-up pose specifically for the good route! So now there are three, normal, bad, and good.

Shadow - Added a little shadow under all his pickup frames so it’s easier to tell where you’re going to set him! Idea from me and Zarla working on Spamton, lol

Updated to Newest Yaya - Not even I’m sure exactly what this means, but I know that the newest version has 69 in it’s current name, so

More Booting Dialogue - I added and reworked a bunch of the dialogue for when you close and open him. + One event added that’s locked to positive route.

More Questions - FINALLY geez. Three new questions added, one asking about his soul (which has different responses depending on your relationship with him), one about his crown (same deal), and a third asking about the weird boot sequence I mentioned ??

Bugfixes:

Positive Route FINALLY WORKS. There was a bunch of content that got locked off because I made some typos. Yep. Expect Night to complain about his name or something eventually.

Sleepmode - Basically there was supposed to be dialogue that’s supposed to play before he goes to sleep, but instead there’s none and he just RANDOMLY goes to sleep during the afternoon. This is fixed, so now there’s dialogue for it AND it happens less frequently.

Typo Fixes - Expected every update but especially this one because it’s mostly just polishing.

Sitting Talking - Sometimes when he talked while he was sitting it looked kind of weird.

Blushiemode Dialogue - A lot of the normal dialogue would become locked when you entered blushiemode. This is no longer an issue.

More Dialogue...? - WAIT you ask, WHY IS THIS IN THE BUGFIX SECTION?!? Well you SEE, much of my dialogue is relationship based! If he likes you enough, you unlock more things for him to say! If you have 15 relationship points, he’ll get five new things to say, if you get 25, there are more, ect ect.

Issue was, that SSP had a bug where that it would only pick ONE THING from each folder to say, before it looped and started repeating dialogue. Which meant that DOZENS of the pieces of dialogue I wrote were completely inaccessible! This included REQUIRED STORY PROGRESSION LOCKS, so that meant you could only get so far into the positive (and possibly negative) route before you were unable to progress anymore!

...This is fixed.

<< Previous || Next >>

[t-lostinworlds]

Truth or Drink (Tom Holland)

[YouTube AU: Video 2]

a/n: this took a while asdfghjkl this was in my drafts since oct. at 7k already (but got distracted with other WIPs as always) and was suggested by this anon back in aug. so i’m sorry this took a so long hun. also, the gif took a fucking while too ‘cause we are extra in this house haha (i mean, i wanted the time in the vid to match the wc so ha). anyway, enough babbling and let’s get into the video! lol, i hope you guys enjoy this one!

summary: You and Tom do a couples Q&A where you spilled steamy secrets with the help from alcohol. pairing: tom holland x fem!reader warnings: dialogue bonanza (lots of laughing and asking), alcohol consumption, secret spilling (from both parties), teasing from everyone (will include dirty jokes from the lads), mentions of smut & risque aka sex-themed questions. word count: 14.2k+ (aha enjoy!)

☰ youtube channel | previous video << ǁ >> next video ☰ masterlist on bio & pinned post

⚠ DISCLAIMER: this is a multi-part (not a series) which is basically one-shots happening in the same universe meaning you don’t need to read the previous one to understand this one since they are not heavily connected plot wise. although each fic does happen chronologically, you don’t need to read them in order much like how you don’t need to watch youtube videos in order.

-:-:-:-:-

You knew something was about to happen the moment you walked into the dining area, the way Tom immediately went to latch onto you like a koala bear—as if he hasn't seen you just minutes before—tells all.

"What are you up to now?" you asked with a playful scrunch of your nose.

You rested your hands on his shoulders, the fabric of his pink hoodie—while you wore his other pink hoodie, outfits not at all planned since you just took the first thing you saw in his closet—soft to the touch as you took a glance at the camera that was set up at the head of the dining table. The greenery of the outside world behind the glass doors served as a backdrop to the shot.

The crease between your brows deepened at the sight, gaze landing back on the boy attached to your hip who was hugging you sideways with a certain glow in his eyes.

"I'm not up to anything," Tom denied, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck to litter the skin with sweet and soft kisses. Although the gesture made your heart melt, it also made your suspicion grow. You just know there was more to this than meets the eye.

Strong arms staying around your torso, Tom pulled away slightly so he could meet your gaze again, a certain smile growing on his lips, one you know too well. It was the usual smile he wears whenever he wants something from you, a favor perhaps. An all too powerful grin that had you made him get away with things—mostly stupid ones—easily that you aren't exactly proud to admit.

"Tom," you warned with a raise of a brow, enough seriousness and command in your tone that he was quick to give in.

"Okay, okay, we're shooting the next video," he chuckled, tracing your jaw with the tip of his nose before giving it a soft peck. "Which I am hoping you'll do with me still," he murmured, placing another kiss on your cheek before pulling away to look at you fully as he flashed you a not-so-innocent smile.

Bingo.

Tom just doesn't suddenly become so clingy—well, he normally is but more than usual anyway—especially out of nowhere without it having an underlying reason.

You narrowed your eyes at him skeptically. You stayed silent as you weighed your odds, if the enjoyment of making the video was worth it for you to endure the obvious embarrassment that would come with it. You do love this YouTube thing he's got going on, you truly do enjoy being a part of it. But with the things he's spilled in the last video, you just want to make sure that this time won't be too much, though you highly doubt it.

It was hilarious how his bottom lip started to go at your reaction, eyes turning rounder, cuter that would give Puss in Boots a run for his money. And just as you counted in your head, three, two, one—

"Please, darling? Do it with me?" Tom cooed, placing his head on your shoulder as he gave your waist a loving squeeze, fluttering his eyelashes at you in the most adorable of ways with that cute pout to match. It was his signature look whenever he wanted something, the look of handsome and adorable persuasion. "I'll keep the secret-spilling at a minimum, love. And besides, we can always edit it out."

You let out a soft sigh, shaking your head at the fact that you're saying yes either way. You can never say no whenever he puts on that very persuasive face of his, can never resist him even if you tried. And of course, Tom knows this power he has over you, and he's mastered a way on how and when to use it to his advantage.

You aren't exactly proud to say that he has never failed once, his tactic very effective and that's putting it lightly. It's sneaky and annoying sometimes but it's still cute nonetheless.

Though, never did he once abuse this weakness of yours, only using it with the little things—like letting him sneak in some snacks on set when he was instructed not to or when he wants to do certain stuff—because when it's something serious and you say 'no,' then he's quick to listen and settle when you've made your final decision. He knows you only have the best intentions when it comes to his safety and just him in general, so there's really no doubt on Tom's behalf when it comes to following you on that.

"Why me? Why not give the other boys a chance to be in the spotlight?" you proposed, not giving him the satisfaction of winning just yet.

Tom shrugged with a wide smile. "The fans love you," he hummed.

The reception of the last video was mostly positive. Maybe it was the fact that you've been with Tom for a couple years already.

Your relationship was private of course, but it wasn't a secret. It was relatively the both of you showing glimpses of it every now and then online. So, compared to when the news first broke out, this time was a bit calmer. There are still trolls and haters—they're always going to be there unfortunately—but you've learned to shut them out, turning your focus more on the ones who are very positive and supportive. They should be the only ones who should be given attention to, no point wasting your energy on random keyboard warriors.

"You mean they love it when I make fun of you?" you said, laughter escaping your lips soon after when Tom buried his face back on the crook of your neck as he groaned in dismay.

Let's just say his fans quite enjoyed how you handled him in the last video, the teasing, the banter, the whole lot. Tom hasn't been able to escape the countless clips that are circulating the good old internet. No matter which platform he uses, a clip or meme is always there to haunt him. Most of them vary from him screaming and wriggling in pain; laughing like a hyena while also wriggling in pain; the random facial expressions he's made; and even sometimes, a snapshot of you looking at him in great disappointment and/or embarrassment. That's just some among the plethora of other memes.

Tom had seen it coming of course, but it doesn't mean it's any less embarrassing, especially with how clueless he seemed when it came to women.

"Unfortunately, that too," he grumbled.

"Okay then, might as well give them more content," you teased, Tom pulling away again to gawk at you with a look of feign betrayal crossing his features. You could only laugh at that, giving his jutted out lip a kiss to replace it with one of his many sweet smiles. Despite you saying it in a joking manner, he can't really deny that that would happen either way. After all, no matter what he does, he will always be a walking meme.

Tom finally lets you go after one more peck on the cheek, guiding you towards the seat by the other end of the table soon after. He helped you in like the gentleman that he is, a kiss landing on top of your head once you were seated before he made his way towards his place.

"What are we doing this time?" you asked when Tom sat down on the chair across from you.

And as if on cue, Harry walked into the dining area with two bottles of gin on hand, Harrison following suit with a bowl of half-sliced limes along with Tuwaine with a bucket of ice and two Collins glasses.

"Truth or drink," Harry said with a wide grin, lifting the bottles of Aviation gin to further prove his point.

"You guys chose me to do this with him because I'm a lightweight, which means I'm more likely to talk, didn't you?" you said, narrowing your eyes at each of them as they placed their respective items right in front of you in the middle of the table.

All three boys gasped exaggeratedly at your accusation, shaking their heads as they made their way behind the camera, chorusing a bunched of:

"Oh no, of course not."

"That was not the plan."

"We would never."

You could only roll your eyes at them, playfully of course, turning back to Tom who was quick to throw his hands up in surrender once he took in your expression of pure suspicion.

"I swear, I just want to do this with you, plain and simple," he confessed, though his follow up sentence made you think that it wasn't as plain and simple. "But you are very funny when you have alcohol in your system."

"Does that mean I'm not when sober?" You raised your brow at the man across you, sitting straight up as you clasp your hands together, resting it on the table to seem serious.

Tom shook his head frantically. "No! You're still very funny sober!" he rushed. "Love, you know what I meant," he added with a whine, head dropping low once you let out a laugh, only lifting it back up to shoot you another pout. He can be quite gullible sometimes and you honestly love it, love teasing him about.

"Besides, it's a couples Q&A and the only couple here are you two so there aren't really any options. The only difference is that it has alcohol to spice things up a little," Harry said, now in his place behind the camera just like before.

"With equally spicy questions," Harrison added with a wriggle of his brows, coming back up on the head of the table to place a stack of white cards to which you assumed was where the questions were written.

"You guys wrote the questions didn't you? Okay, this is a set up," you joked.

"They're harmless questions I swear!" Harrison defended with a laugh before returning back to his place by the camera. Though knowing them for as long as you have, you've learned to never trust those words fully. It was highly expected that the questions aren't going to be simple, let alone safe for work.

"But if you're not comfortable doing it, it's totally fine, darling," Tom said, smiling sweetly as he grabbed your hands across the table and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. He knows you have never been an avid drinker. As you've said, you are lightweight. So, if ever you wanted to back out, he's just making sure you know that you have the option to.

"No, I'm fine with it. This will be fun," you said, flashing him a true, reassuring smile of your own, squeezing his hand in return for good measure. "But can I at least have some juice or something? I'm not drinking gin straight," you added.

"Figured you'd say that," Tom said with a wide grin, rushing up from his seat and disappearing into the kitchen. He came back not long after with a bottle of orange juice on one hand all while holding a spoon and paring knife on the other. "Rollin' down the street, smokin' indo, sippin' on gin and juice," he sang the good old Snoop Dogg classic no matter how corny, placing the bottle juice right beside the gin on the head of the table.

You narrowed your eyes at your man. "You seem prepared Tom."

"Nope, I just know you too well," he hummed, giving you a sweet peck on the forehead before he was back on his seat across you.

"Right, let's give the people what they want," you said, rubbing your hands together with a wide smile.

It was Tom's turn to look at you skeptically. "Why do I have a feeling that we'll just take turns in exposing each other?"

You tilted your head at him with a grin, shrugging your shoulders and said,

"How bad can it be?"

***

"And we are rolling."

"What's up guys! Tom Holland here," he introduced with a loud clap. "I'm back with another video joined by none other than the gorgeous Y/N." You waved at the camera with a sweet smile at the mention of your name. "The rest of the gang are behind the camera as per usual," Tom added, the lads cheering at their cue unenthusiastically and totally not in sync, chuckles and giggles following soon after.

"You can feel the excitement in the room," Tom said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. "Anyhow, since lovely Ryan Reynolds sent me a case of gin just recently, I thought; why not put it to good use?" Tom shot the camera a knowing look. "Hashtag not sponsored but should be!" he yelled, making you jump slightly at the sudden loud sound.

"Do you have to be so loud?" you grumbled, playfully covering your ears in the process.

"Oh, sorry love," Tom chuckled, shooting you a sweet smile before turning back to the camera, finger pointed at it as he said, "But Ryan, my DMs are always open."

"Always looking for someone to replace me," you sighed, shaking your head dejectedly as you turned to the camera with a deep frown.

"Ah, here we go," Tom groaned, shooting you a playful glare because he knows that the teasing would only get more and more prominent from here on out.

"What? You and I both know I've got a lot of competition," you said as a matter of fact, leaning back on your seat with arms crossed over your chest. "Mainly Jake G. and Harrison, with a couple of variations here and there but you get what I mean."

Tom shook his head at you with a teasing roll of his eyes. "Once again, my girlfriend everyone," he said to the lens with a tight lip smile before turning back to you with a deadpan expression. You only shrugged in response, flashing him an innocent smile.

"Anyway, a fan suggested this in the comments of the last video so today, we're going to be doing Truth or Drink," he continued, turning back to face the camera. "Rules are simple, we take turns on reading out the questions that are written on these cards right here"—Tom lifted the stack of white, rectangular cards before placing them back on the table—"and we either answer them truthfully or we take a drink."

"Oh and a little disclaimer," you paused as you looked at the camera. "The lads wrote the questions so we have no idea what's in the cards nor did we have any involvement in the choosing of certain topics which are possibly going to be discussed in this video," you added, feeling like it was a fact that needed to be said.

"Parental guidance is advised," Tom chuckled.

"They're not that bad you divs," Harrison grumbled.

Now you're certain on who wrote most of the questions, he's been keen on taking offense whenever anyone gets suspicious over them. "We'll be the judge of that," you stated, raising a brow at Harrison before turning back to Tom.

"Let's get right into it shall we?" Tom proposed. You gave him a nod in response, jutting out two thumbs up for good measure. "Ladies first," he said, flashing you a charming grin as he gestured towards the pile of cards.

You reached over to the pile, making sure to pick the card in the middle just to make sure that it was completely random. You adore the lads, but knowing how mischievous they can get, you've learned to always keep one eye open with regard to everything that they do. Plus, it was so easy to set it up for you to pick a certain question given that it was only you and Tom taking turns on picking a card.

"We are starting off with something a tad bit dark huh." You gave the lads a swift glance before turning to the card you had on hand. "If I killed someone would you help me cover it up?" you read out loud, placing the card on the discarded pile before your gaze landed on Tom who gave you a small, secretive nod 'yes' which only made you giggle.

Tom leaned forward as he rested his elbow on the marble surface, hand playing with his chin with his eyes on the ceiling to seem that he was deep in thought. He turned back to you and said, "Do we not get any context? Was it an accident or was it on purpose? Was it due to hate or fear? Was it justified?"

"It's a yes or no answer Tom," you laughed.

"Well then, you already know the answer but for legal purposes," Tom paused, reaching for the bucket of ice and putting some in his glass. He poured the gin on top of that and then added a dash of lime, swirling around the glass to mix them all together. "My lips are sealed," he chuckled, lifting the glass up to his lips and taking a drink. "Oh, that's good stuff," he commented, taking another sip before putting the glass back down.

"Hypothetically, if you were going to help, you'll probably be the one who'll get us caught if I'm being honest," you giggled to which Tom threw his head back with a laugh.

"Yeah, you'll tell me what you did, I'll get shocked and as we're getting stuff to you know, hypothetically hide the body, I'll go 'I can't believe you killed someone' in public and then someone will hear and call the police and we're done."

You burst out in a hearty laugh at that, nodding your head in agreement. "That's exactly how it's going to happen."

It was Tom's turn to pick a question, his grin growing wider as his eyes scanned the card in his fingers. "What's the most embarrassing thing you've done in front of me?" he asked, his features brightening in excitement because he already knows the answer. There wasn't really much to begin with other than that one incident that will always haunt you for the rest of your life.

"Do you want me to tell them the story?" you sighed, leaning back on your chair with palms flat on the table. It wasn't one of your finest moments that's for sure and Tom hasn't been letting you hear the end of it. In fact, it was one of his favourite stories involving you both.

"It's up to you, love. You don't have to if you don't want to." Tom shrugged with a smirk, reaching for your glass to get your drink made. "But that moment was so adorable for me though, embarrassing for you but very adorable for me," he added with a wink.

"Adorable or ego boosting?" you pointed out with a raise of your brow.

"Both," Tom laughed, adding some ice in your glass and pouring just the right amount of gin soon after.

You watched with an adoring smile as he poured in the orange juice, the sound of silverware and glass clinking together filling the air as he mixed up the liquids. He then squeezed a bit of lime in your drink, taking the paring knife soon after to slice up another lime in a thin circle, making a small slit in the middle so he can put it on the rim of your glass easily. Tom can be extra at times, of course he felt the need to decorate your drink, even when it wasn't exactly necessary but you wouldn't want it any other way.

"Look at you being a bartender," you teased, Tom looking up from his task to shoot you playful wink with a smug smirk to match.

"You love to see it."

You shrugged, not at all denying his claim because well, you do love seeing it.

"Here you go, mi lady," he hummed, handing you your beautifully decorated drink with a proud grin on his lips.

"Thank you, kind sir."

As much as how refreshing the cocktail looked in its cold glass and bright, orange colored glory, you know you had to be strategic with drinking. Because alcohol boosts your confidence, it makes you brave, it makes you say things you wish you hadn't when sober. And with you being lightweight, it isn't exactly ideal to be happy-go-lucky with it, especially knowing how these questions can go from one thing to another real quick.

You thought it's best to share embarrassing things that you can live with to keep the drinking at a minimum, rather than take too much alcohol too fast and say worse things down the line because you got somewhat tipsy or downright drunk. There's really no way of knowing how hard it hits given that different types of alcohol affect you in different ways.

"Okay, it was when we first met, which obviously doesn't make it any less embarrassing, first impressions and all that," you started, sitting straight up as your fingers drummed around the cool surface of your glass. "Me and a friend of mine were at this park and decided it would be fun to rent out these bikes to get around quicker, so we did. Lo and behold, Tom and Harrison were also at said park—"

"Oh yeah, I remember this," Harrison laughed. "This is going to be good."

You shot the blonde lad a quick glare before continuing. "Luck wasn't on my side that day—well, depends on how you look at things because I did meet Tom and seem to have gotten far," you laughed towards the camera, giving Tom a swift glance who was quick to lock eyes with you as he nodded agreeably with a chuckle. "But add that to me being very clumsy and simply put, I fell off the bike right in front of him," you sighed dejectedly, heat coating your cheeks as the lads chuckled in their seats, purely in amusement and not at all in a demeaning way.

"Go on love, let's hear the full thing," Tom encouraged, sitting back on his chair with his arms crossed over his chest to relax, attention fully on you as if he hasn't heard this story many times before. He genuinely does love hearing it. As you've said, it was one of his favourites.

"I'm getting there," you grumbled, narrowing your eyes at Tom who only flashed you an adorable, bright smile, knowing that if he does that, you can't stay mad at him. With a another sigh, you continued, "As we were riding our bikes, we saw him and Harrison sitting on this random bench from afar doing, I don't know, maybe they were on a date or something—"

"Darling, don't try and steer the topic here," Tom laughed. You stuck out your tongue at him—yes, very mature—his laughter only growing louder at your reaction.

"I'm a big fan of the Marvel movies, so obviously, I knew who he was. I was trying to keep my cool, you know, I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of him and thought I'll just ride pass, don't want to disturb whatever they had going on. But as soon as we got near to where they were sat, he looked towards my direction and we made eye contact—"

"The power I have," Tom crooned with a smug smile, earning a pointed eye-roll from you.

"Oh shut up. You know that wasn't the sole reason why I fell," you scoffed. "The chains on my bike went loose so I had no full control over it. We weren't going slowly as well because this friend of mine thought it was a good idea to one up each other so we kept going faster and faster, racing towards who knows what.

"So, my next option was to just plant my foot on the ground to stop it right? But as I've said, luck wasn't on my side that day. Before I could even do it, a rock went under the front wheel—which I didn't see given that I was distracted, you lot know why—and completely took me off balance and the bike went sideways real quick that I didn't have any time to react at all. And...did I roll a few times?" You turned to your boyfriend.

"Twice," he confirmed, a sympathetic smile on his lips as he tilted his head at you sweetly.

"Now, I don't see why you find this story adorable." You narrowed your eyes at your man.

"Not the actual accident, darling. It's what happened after that I found adorable. You were so cute being all shy and embarrassed," Tom defended with a pout. "And you know for a fact that whenever I see you with the smallest scrape or cut I panic and fuss over you immediately."

"You do. A bit too overdramatically," you giggled. It was a bit much sometimes how he worries but that's just Tom being the caring and overprotective boyfriend that he is. "Anyway, so yes, I rolled on the ground twice but all I remember was that I was already lying on my back, watching the sky while my knees, forearms up to my elbows and palms were burning. Then I saw Tom approaching and I swear I was just wishing that the ground would swallow me up right then and there," you finished.

"I quickly rushed to her aid, because you know, I'm Spider-Man," Tom added with a cocky shrugged, arms open wide as if to showcase himself.

There was a loud, collective groan from the lads which earned a laugh from you and a sound of pure protest from Tom.

"It's true!" he exclaimed. "Anyway, she then went, 'oh, my knight and shining armour, my handsome Prince Charming'," Tom gushed, voice at a higher pitch with the utmost exaggeration as he placed the back of his hand over his forehead. "And I went, 'don't worry princess, I'm here to save you,' and then we kissed and lived happily ever after," he concluded with the cheekiest smile.

"We remember this story very differently." You shook your head at him with a hearty laugh. This boy is always something else. "But fine, I'll give you the Prince Charming part because you did look like it.

"What you said was, 'miss, are you alright?' which was very formal of you, especially with the accent." You turned to the camera with a suggestive wiggle of your brows, making Tom drop his head shyly with a chuckle as his cheeks turned slightly pink. "And no, we didn't kiss. You don't kiss people you just met Thomas, get a hold of yourself. He helped me up and was kind enough to offer to take me to the hospital which wasn't needed since it was just a few cuts and scrapes but still insisted that I get checked. Who knew you'd be overprotective since day one," you laughed.

Tom shrugged with a chuckle. "We got to know each other while in the hospital and after she got cleaned up, I thought, I liked talking to her and I really don't want to say goodbye just yet. So, I invited her to lunch which she surprisingly said yes," he teased, sarcasm laced in his tone at his last sentence as he shot the camera a knowing and smug look. You kicked him lightly under the table, the action catching him off guard making him let out a yelp.

"It was more of me being polite because you helped and that. Didn't want to seem rude by saying no," you said, Tom gasping in full offense at your words. You let out a laugh as you rushed, "I'm kidding! Of course I wanted to go to lunch with you. It was impossible to say no because you've been really sweet and a real gentleman that day. And well, it was fun hanging out with you."

Tom smiled widely at that, nothing but pure love coating his features as he held your gaze, hand sneaking over to yours that was on the table and giving it a quick but loving squeeze.

"Where did Harrison go?" Harry wondered, the blonde boy suddenly turning silent and surely enough when you gave him a swift glance, he was already blushing.

"I had my friend with me, Tom had Harrison, you do the math," you said plainly, laughter laced in your tone.

"Oh, so you got some that day," Tuwaine chuckled, nudging the boy beside him with his elbow.

"Shut up, Tuwaine," Harrison grumbled, swatting away his friend lightly.

"But in conclusion, I am a superhero in real life," Tom stated proudly, swiping away the imaginary dust that was lying on his shoulder. He turned to the camera with a bright and wide smile. "But I do thank that bike every day."

"A bit sadistic but okay," you added, looking at Tom skeptically with a scrunch of your nose.

"No! I meant we wouldn't have gotten to know each other if that didn't happen," Tom rushed, lips turning into a pout when you only did nothing but laugh. "You're mean."

"You're just too adorable not to pick on," you giggled, his pout turning more prominent at your words.

You so badly wanted to get up off your seat and give him a proper kiss, but those things are always reserved privately. You two had never been big with public displays of affection, just the casual holding hands and occasional hugs. There are a few instances where you'll sneak a quick kiss while hanging out with friends but that's different compared to it being on tape for the whole world to see later on.

"Anyhow, what's the most embarrassing thing that you have done in front of me?" You asked back, your turn to grin wide because you know which story it was going to be, the way Tom's cheeks were quick to be dusted red was a clear indication that you were right.

"I'm smooth as hell, would never embarrass myself in front of a lady," he said casually, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back on his chair, all cool and suave.

"Oh shut up and tell the story," you said with a playful roll of your eyes, Tom letting out a shy chuckle before he leaned on the table.

"Right, it was our second date and I split my trousers open," he said, short and sweet, though his blush was already deepening because Tom knows the sharing won't stop there.

"Wait, how open?" Tuwaine asked.

"Like full on, centre to back, underwear and inner thighs with a bit of butt showing open. It would have been a bit better if I wore black pants—boxers to the American people—and black trousers right? But me being unlucky, I went for light-coloured denim jeans and black pants that day so it's fully obvious that I did ripped my trousers open," he chuckled shyly, hand going to rub at his shoulder, body slightly crouched as he refused to look away from his glass of gin.

"Go on Thomas, let's hear the full thing," you prodded, throwing his previous words right back at him.

He lifted his head up to shoot you a playful glare, though sat straighter anyway, elbows now on the table with his hands clasped together as he got ready to tell his story. "We were well underway our second date, a simpler one which was a walk in a somewhat less crowded park—"

"What's with you two and parks?" Harrison pointed out with a chuckle.

"Disaster just waiting to happen as you can tell," Tom laughed.

"We've steered clear from parks after all these incidents," you joked with a giggle.

"I did a flip and didn't land the right way was basically what happened," Tom continued, turning to the camera with a look of dismay. "We were walking by a couple of street dancers who were practicing a routine and they were doing all sorts of flips and tricks. She stopped walking completely and watched—wait, correction, stared at this certain bloke who was doing backflips—"

"I was not staring," you butted in. "I was just watching him do his thing and said how cool it was. And why are you making it seem like it's my fault?" you gasped, placing a hand over your heart, feign offence crossing your features.

"I'm not!" Tom laughed, hands up in surrender before he crossed his arms over his chest. "All I'm saying was that I was trying to impress you, which is why I offered to show you a flip. And as everyone in this room knows, I do the stupidest things when trying to impress a girl, especially when I like her that much."

"I was already impressed by you as is Tom, you didn't need to do a flip," you said as a matter of fact, small giggles escaping your lips as you looked at him with nothing but pure adoration. Tom felt his heart melt at the sight and more by your words. "And besides, I already knew you could do it. But somehow you felt the need to prove yourself after you saw me complimenting that dancer," you added.

"It's what you call ego, Tom," Harry laughed.

"Shut up, Harry." Tom shot his brother a glare though chuckled right after because it was in fact a bit true.

It was the silliest thing thinking back on it now, how he just said 'you want to see me do a flip?' out of the blue. You furrowed your brows at him in response, though your smile was laced with amusement. He just wanted to impress you as he'd said. And fine, maybe his ego got struck at teeny bit, and maybe he felt a little jealous that your attention got torn off of him because he truly did like you that much.

But at the end of the day, even though he had a little mishap, it all worked out so he wasn't at all complaining. "Anyway, so I did the flip, completely disregarding the fact that my shoes were slippy and my trousers were tight. I did land upright and not on my face this time so that's something," Tom chuckled. "But my right foot slipped so I was full on going on a wide split which I normally can't do since I am not flexible enough and proceeded to fall on my bum.

"The moment I heard the sound I instantly knew and just went, 'oh no' and remained on the ground because I didn't know what to do then. I was already embarrassed because I slipped, do I really want to tell her I tore open my trousers too?" Tom laughed timidly, the blush on his cheeks turning redder as he rubbed the back of his neck in utter embarrassment.

"I kind of knew right away though because I did hear something rip," you giggled. "He then just slowly stood up, hands behind, flat on his bum and said, 'I split my trousers open' in the smallest voice like a kid who's scared to tell their mum they fell or they'll get scolded. Plus his face was beet red, just like now." You pointed towards your boyfriend, who in turn stuck his tongue out at you as his blush turned into an even deeper shade of crimson.

"Thank God I wore a jacket that day and I was able to at least hide it until we got back to the car or else someone would've clocked it, took a picture, posted it on the internet and it would've made things much worse," Tom pointed out with a chuckle, glad that there was no paparazzi or it would've been a nightmare. "And the fact that you tried so hard not to laugh but still failed made me feel so embarrassed that I was quick to think that that was it. I ruined my chances, no more third date," he added as he turned to you with a small pout.

"I couldn't help laughing because it was the most adorable thing how you went from being all confident and cocksure on doing a flip to this shy boy who refused to look me in the eyes without turning even redder," you said, pure amusement laced in your tone. "But no, that incident made me like you more, it was just too endearing. Third date never left the table after that," you concluded with a sweet smile which only made Tom's grin grow wider.

"Even though she laughed, she was so sweet and kind about it. We had to cut our date shor—actually no, we didn't. We went back to your place and decided to do a movie marathon instead," Tom said fondly, face glowing with joy as the memory brought nothing but warmth across his chest.

"Yeah, with you wearing a pair of my sweatpants," you giggled, mirroring his expression as your mind recalled the sweet moment of you and him, simply cuddled up on the couch.

"And that's on getting the girl by splitting your trousers open," Tom said with a smug smile, pointing at the camera as he shot it a knowing look with a wriggle of his brows.

"And getting the boy by falling off a bike," you added, doing exactly what he did as you turned to face the lens.

"Look at us," Tom gushed, looking back at you with a smile, reaching across the table to take your hand in his. "Hey, look at us."

"Look at us. Who would've thought?" you giggled, giving his hand a squeeze in return.

You were always quick to catch on what he was trying to do that Tom couldn't help but smile widely, heart melting ten times over at the thought of you knowing him so well. "Not me," Tom chuckled, letting go of your hand and holding up his palm for a high-five to which you gladly obliged with laughs of your own.

"You two are made for each other," Harry chuckled with a shake of his head, now just getting that you two were recreating the famous Paul Rudd meme.

"My turn right?" Tom asked. You nodded with a hum as you pushed the pile of cards towards him. He let out a loud scoff once he read the question, his reaction making you raise a brow in both curiosity and slight dread. "Be honest," he said as he looked up from the paper, gaze landing on you. "Who do you love more, me," he paused for dramatic effect, narrowing his eyes at you before continuing, "Or Tessa?"

You let out a small groan as you hang your head low, fingers tracing the side of your cold glass. You let out a sigh of defeat before you met Tom's expectant gaze. "I can't possibly answer that question," you grumbled, bringing the glass up to your lips as you took a swift drink before placing it back down.

"That was such a tiny sip," Harrison pointed out.

"Alright, alright, I guess we can tell who the bad influence here is," you said with a teasing roll of your eyes, but still took another drink anyway, taking in more of it this time around. You just want to play the game fair and square. "You actually made that really well. It's really good," you hummed at Tom as you placed your drink back down, the lad grinning widely in response.

"Why thank you, darling," Tom crooned, voice smooth with a pride-filled smile, pushing over the pile of cards back in the middle of the table to get you to ask the next question.

"Okay, who wrote this?" You turned to the boys behind the camera with a raise of your brow. "If the alcohol wasn't going to do it, then this will definitely get the video restricted, unless you're going to bleep some words out?" You turned to Harry.

"I've got that covered," Harry laughed.

Glancing back at the card you had on hand, you asked, "If our sex life was porn, what genre would it be?" You looked up at Tom to see him try his best to hold back a smirk.

"Nope, not answering that," he laughed with a shake of his head as he lifted his glass off the table. "Mainly because there are too many genres that it would fit for me to only pick one," Tom muttered softly against his drink as he looked at you through his lashes. His words were muffled but you still heard it, you were closer to him after all. You felt your cheeks heat up at that, even more so when your man shot you a teasing wink before downing the shot of gin not long after.

Tom set his glass down and reached over to take another card. "What does your family think of me?" he asked with a clear of his throat.

"Well..." You slowly dragged your drink closer to you, Tom's mouth falling agape that you couldn't help but burst into a hearty laugh. "I'm kidding! You already know how much they love you," you said. "I mean, my parents call him 'son' so." You shrugged as you turned to the camera. Tom puffed out his chest all proud with a very smug smile on his lips. You rolled your eyes, sighing as you added, "They probably even love you more than they love me."

Tom chuckled, "My family loves you more than they love me, too—"

"I can vouch for that," Harry intervened.

"Thanks, Harry," Tom said sarcastically, flashing his brother a forced smile. Turning back to you, he finished, "So, I guess we're even."

You could only nod with a soft giggle, reaching over to the stack of cards to keep the pace going. "Lads! What's with these kinds of questio—you know what, I don't even expect any less from you guys," you sighed, pursing your lips as you re-read the question again before sitting straight up and looked into Tom's eyes. "What would you do if you caught me watching porn?" you asked.

"Watch it with you and help get it done, duh?" he answered without hesitation, leaning back on his chair as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Have done a couple times actually," Tom murmured, somewhat to himself, though not really since everyone in the room—and pretty sure the camera—heard it.

"Tom!" you hissed.

You felt your body tingle, legs instinctively closing together as the countless moments it happened replayed itself inside your brain. Although what he said wasn't false, it wasn't the full truth either. He didn't exactly catch you red handed, never did since you don't watch porn often.

All you did was asked him—merely out of curiosity—what type he mostly watches. Your question sparked an idea in his head which led to you sitting in between his legs, bare back against his naked chest as the laptop sat right in front of you both with the video of his choice.

Tom then made his way with you while you watched, making sure you never take your eyes off the couple on screen or else. He was always fully in control over you every time you do it, his fingers sometimes delicate, mostly rough, touch hot and heavy all over your skin, lips warm on your neck, teeth sharp against your bare shoulder as he brings you to the edge over and over and over with nothing but his hands. And once the video ends, Tom will take it upon himself to re-enact the whole of it with you—if you could still take it of course—bringing what was on screen to real life, full recreation from start to finish.

Best believed you're properly blissed out at the stop of every play.

Your boyfriend's eyes widened once he realized the actual volume of his voice, face turning a deep shade of red, sitting straight abruptly as he rushed, "No! Wait—dammit." Tom casted his eyes down shyly when the boys let out exaggerated gasps and sounds of disapproval, a telltale sign that they already heard it. "I'm sorry, darling." He met your gaze again as he shot you a sheepish smile, his head tilted to the side guiltily to which you only responded with a shake of your head.

Typical Thomas.

"Bleurgh, too much info," Harrison gagged, the other boys following suit with their own sounds of repulsion.

"Oh fuck off you divs. You guys wrote the questions so obviously, you wanted to find out," Tom countered, shooting the lads a glare each.

"We didn't expect you to actually answer it!" Harry defended.

"We're cutting that whole part out, no way that's going up online," you grumbled, eyes staring at nothing but your drink as you tried to hide the obvious embarrassment that's coated your features.

Tom reached across the table to give your hand a squeeze, you meeting his gaze to see him mouth a gentle 'I'm sorry.' You flashed him a sweet smile, squeezing his hand in return to tell him that it was alright. It wasn't live so there wasn't any real harm done, aside from future jokes from the boys. That you can deal with than having that confidential information on the internet which will then follow you around for the rest of eternity.

Letting go of your hand, Tom sat straighter and turned to the camera. "If you guys are wondering why there's a jump cut and my face is suddenly so red, it's because I spilled something I shouldn't have that we had to cut it out. And no, it's something you'll never find out," he chuckled shyly, knowing that once the video goes out, fans are going to be so annoyed and will pester him—and everyone in the room—nonstop to try and find out what was cut.

Better that, than embarrassing you in front of millions though, so he'll deal with them no problem. Because as promised, if you weren't comfortable with it staying in the video, then it gets cut out, no questions asked. You and what you're comfortable with always come first in Tom's book.

"Yet again, thank God we didn't do this live," you muttered with a playful roll of your eyes.

Tom shot you one last apologetic smile before he cleared his throat, "Right, moving on." He shifted in his seat and took another card from the pile. "What's the one thing you'd change about me?" he asked.

"Your height," you answered without missing a beat. You chewed on your lip to suppress a grin but still failed miserably, especially when Tom looked at you with his jaw hanging and his eyes wide open.

A chorus of 'ooh's erupted from the boys which only prompted a laugh from you, the joyous sound growing louder when they started to rub it to Tom even more.

"Pfft, apply ice on the burnt area," Harry said as he blew out his cheeks.

"Mate, she's just bodied you with that," Tuwaine tutted at Tom, rising up from his seat soon after to offer you a high-five. You gladly obliged with a laugh, Tom gawking at you with utmost betrayal on his face.

"You're lucky you're very cute, especially when you laugh," Tom grumbled as he shot you a playful glare. The crinkles on the corner of your eyes deepened as you only smiled brightly at him with a tilt of your head, which honestly made you look even more endearing. He could never be mad at you, too whipped to hold a grudge no matter how much you tease him. And besides, that's all there is to it, nothing but teasing jokes and banter.

"If I were you, Tom, I'd start taking those growth pills before she starts to question why she's even with you," Harrison proposed jokingly which earned boisterous laughter from the rest of the gang.

"You lot are so fucking overdramatic. I'm not that short," Tom quipped with a roll of his eyes, gaze landing back on you with his famous pout now in play yet again. "And babe, it's a truth or drink video, not a roast me video," he stated, palms flat on cool marble as he looked at you with puppy-dog eyes.

"I'm joking! I'm joking," you rushed with a giggle. "I wouldn't change a single thing. You know I love you, just the way you are," you sang the last line, though your voice held nothing but sincerity as you reached over to give his hand a loving squeeze. Tom nodded with a sigh, though never did he doubt your words, knowing it deep in his bones that physical traits would never outweigh how much you love him, no matter what.

"Right, let's keep this going," you said as you took another card. "Who is smarter, me or you?" you asked.

"Me," Tom said proudly.

"Well, that's a lie," you objected.

Tom couldn't help but laugh at that, nodding at you as he chuckled, "It's you, obviously. Have you seen the last video?"

"Hmm, I don't know, I think Tom's smarter. I mean, you decided to date him, Y/N, which isn't exactly the brightest decision," Harry inferred, earning a loud gasp from his older brother.

"Excellent point," you agreed, your boyfriend's head whipping towards your direction with nothing but absolute offense written on his face.

"Babe! You're supposed to be on my side!" Tom exclaimed. "Why are we roasting me all of a sudden?" he complained.

"You're just too fun to pick on," you laughed, Tom's bottom lip jutting out at your words. "Especially when you do that, too cute," you pointed out, the apples of Tom's cheek turning pink as a smile grew on his lips at the compliment. "But I am smarter," you concluded, shooting the camera a wink.

"Will not refute," Tom chuckled, keeping the flow of the game as he took another card. "If you weren't with me, who of my brothers would you consider dating?" he said, voice pitching higher at the last few words. A look of downright disgust covered Tom's face immediately as he looked at the boys behind the camera who were snickering like the mischievous little shits that they are. "You lot are grim."

You matched Tom's expression, scrunching your nose as you shook your head quickly. Having been with Tom long enough, you now see the three of the Holland boys as your own brothers, so the mere thought of dating any of them is just—

"I'm not even going to think about it," you grumbled as you took a sip of your cocktail and then picked a card right away. "Who's the celebrity who you were the most disappointed with when you met them?" you continued swiftly, a smile on your lips as you looked at Tom who let out a sigh.

"You know I can't answer that," he stated in a matter-of-fact tone, your smile growing wider as you picked up the bottle of gin and refilled his glass. "Thank you, darling," he chuckled with a shake of his head, taking a drink right after.

"Is there anyone in my friend group, famous or not, that you do not like?" Tom continued with a raise of his brow, gaze steady on you.

You emptied your glass—that was still half full—without a single word and placed it back down with a small burp. "Oh, excuse me," you cleared your throat with a laugh.

Tom's brows furrowed at you in mere curiosity, gesturing for your glass so he can remake you another drink. You slid it over to him with a soft 'thank you' and a sweet smile. He started opening up the bottle of juice though his eyes were still on you, narrowed in pure skepticism.

"Who?"

"Not part of the question, Tom," you said, flashing him an innocent smile

"I know who it is," Harry coughed fakely.

"Me too," Tuwaine added with a fake cough of his own.

"It's Harrison because he's trying to take you away from me," you commented, laughing at how the blonde lad gasped in utter protest.

"That's a lie because I know who it is too," Harrison defended.

"So, everyone knows except me?" Tom mused, rolling his eyes in the process.

"What else is new?" you giggled with a shrugged, Tom only sighing as he shot you yet another pout. This boy never ceases to use it since he knows you always swoon whenever he does. 'I'll tell you later,' you mouthed, making him nod with a proud smile.

You gently leaned back on your seat, closing your eyes when you felt a little woozy. You took in slow, deep breaths, the marble cold against your palms as your body started to grow warmer from head to toe.

Maybe downing that drink wasn't the best idea.

"You okay, darling?" Tom asked sweetly, tilting his head at you in worry as he went to take your hand in his. His brows knitted together when your skin felt unusually warm in his palms.

"Yeah," you giggled, opening your eyes to meet his concern-filled brown ones, flashing him a reassuring smile and a nod to match as you gave his hand a squeeze. "Just the alcohol slowly kicking in."

"Want to take a minute, sweetheart?"

"No, I'm good. Go on and ask the question bubba," you prompted as you beamed at him, Tom's heart melting at the beautiful curve on your features and more by the sound of that sweet nickname. Although, he knew that you'd reached your calm before the storm.

You're always smiley and extra sweet when you start to get a little tipsy. But from here on out, especially if you decide to take even more alcohol, you start switching from calm to giddily energetic. That's when the words would start flowing out your lips before your brain could even register what you've just said.

Tom replaced your hand with a white card once he was sure you were fine. A cheeky grin erupted on his face as he asked, "What's your favourite sex position?"

You pursed your lips, eyes landing on the ceiling, fingers drumming on the marble surface of the table as you pondered on it for a second. Tom watched you intently, a soft chuckle escaping him when you met his gaze again with a sweet yet shy smile.

"I've got three though," you said, mostly to him but in a not-so-hush tone. Your mind and your mouth don't cooperate sometimes when there's alcohol in the mix.

"Different one for a different mood," Tom hummed with a smirk, finishing up your drink with a squeeze of lime, mixing it up before sliding it back towards you. "Just say one or take a drink, darling."

"I need to slow down with drinking or else I'll be saying much worse things. I can already feel my filter shutting down," you breathed out, tilting your head to the side as you gazed at Tom for a bit of help. "But do I really want this out in the world?"

"Oh, go on Y/N, live a little," Harrison prodded with nothing but utter mischief in his eyes.

You don't know why but somehow, Harrison words were the last straw for that burst of confidence to suddenly overflow. Boldness coated your every nerve as you squeezed your eyes shut and straight up blurted,

"Doggy."

Tom's eyes grew wide, both of his brows rising as he looked at you surprised. Yes, doggy was one of your—and his—favourites, he already knew that, what surprised him was you actually saying it out loud. Although he was swift to turn cocky as he leaned back on his seat, arms crossed over his chest while he kept his gaze steady on you.

As you peaked one eye, you saw that certain smirk of his now playing on his pink lips, one you only ever see privately. You felt your face heat up at that, added from the alcohol and embarrassment. The warmth was quick to spread to the rest of your body though, with the way he was looking at you, it was so hard for it not too. And as your eyes fully soaked him in, gaze traveling from his handsome face sporting that teasing smirk to his bulging biceps, the temperature could only rise. Your senses was now somewhat heightened that you were able to notice every single thing that made your man so fucking attractive and downright hot.

Since when did his hoodie grow even tighter? And damn, why is it so hot all of a sudden? It's probably the alcohol, or mainly just Tom, or simply both.

"Favourite type of porn!" you hear someone from the gang call out—probably Harrison since he's been causing trouble from the very start—interrupting your thoughts. With the alcohol in your system, just as expected, your brain genuinely forgot to take control of your tongue before you could even tell yourself: 'don't!'

"Sometimes hardcore," you let out, slapping your hand over your mouth immediately as your eyes grew wide. You quickly met Tom's eyes, his brown orbs glowing with shock, amusement and a sprinkle of lust. He gave you a soft nod with a soft smile in response, confirming that yes, you said it out loud, and yes it was already too late. "Oh no, this was what I meant when I needed to slow down on alcohol," you groaned, rubbing your hand over your warm face before looking back across your man with a pout.

"Aye! Hardcore doggy yeah?" Harrison cheered teasingly, moving towards Tom and giving his best friend a pat on the shoulder. Tom threw his head back with a laugh, face red but the look of utmost pride was also there. Harrison swiftly offered his fist to Tom, to which the brunette gladly indulged, their knuckles colliding as chuckles escaped the two mates.

You let out a choked laugh as your eyes widened in surprise, jaw going slack with your face heating up even more. "Did you guys just fist bump to that?"

"I mean." Tom shrugged, throwing his hands up with the smuggest grin, causing you to shake your head dejectedly with a groan. You shot Harrison a pointed glare when he went back to his seat, still snickering to his heart's content as if his master plan was in the works.

What a little shit.

"I'm definitely not going to let my parents watch this video," you mumbled with a roll of your eyes.

"I've got a question for Tom though," Tuwaine started, though the glimmer in his eyes told you it wasn't a clean one. "Do you grab it or do you smack it?"

Tom wheezed before erupting into a very rowdy laugh, hands slapping on his thigh as his body shook in nothing but pure enjoyment, his face red from a mixture of embarrassment, glee and the alcohol.

"Oh my—right! Next question!" you squeaked, not giving your boyfriend any time to answer as you attempted to swiftly move on.

"Wait, wait," Tom breathed out as he slowly calmed down, getting up from his seat as he went over to your side. "Harry stop recording for a sec," he called out to his younger brother before he gestured for you to turn until your back was facing the camera.

Tom crouched down in front of you, hands on your knees with a sweet, reassuring smile on his lips. "We'll edit out the parts you're not comfortable with to stay in the vid, alright?" he stated softly.

You nodded with a smile of your own, taking his hand in yours as you played with his fingers. "I'm not opposed to keeping the last two questions since everyone has their favourite position and type of porn. It's normal," you hummed, tilting your head at him as you added, "You saying you've helped me with, you know, that was much more private though, 'cause it's our thing."

"I know, I'm sorry, love," Tom apologized, voice soft but coated with sincerity as his hand went up to cup your face lovingly, brown eyes gazing up into yours with just the same emotions. "We're cutting that part out, I promise."

"But you think your fans would take these questions well?" you queried, leaning into his touch in a way that made Tom's heart do flips inside his chest.

He nodded. "Yeah, I think it's fine. The video is going to be age restricted anyway. And besides, we're both adults, so there's nothing wrong with it," he explained. You hummed in agreement, leaning your head on his hand as you closed your eyes with a soft sigh, your skin very warm against his palm. Tom moved closer to give your lips a sweet peck. "Want some water angel?"

"No, I'm good." You smiled, Tom nodding as he mirrored your grin, giving your lips another kiss before he stood back to his full height and then sat back on his seat.

Shooting Harry the go signal to start recording again, Tom chuckled, "Sorry, needed to cool down for a sec after that." He turned towards the camera, tugging at the collar of his hoodie as he blew out his cheeks to get a point across.

You could only roll your eyes at your man, his laugh growing louder at your reaction. Swiftly taking a card from the pile, you continued with the game. "Is this going to be the theme from here on out, lads?" you asked, eyeing the boys behind the camera suspiciously before you turned back to Tom. "Is there something in the bedroom you'd like to try that you haven't told me?"

Tom's cheeks turned even redder at the question, completely shying away now as his hand went to rub at his shoulder. "I can't think of one right now," he muttered as he looked at you sheepishly. "But no, I'm not answering that since we talk about that off camera anyway," Tom settled with a timid chuckle, refilling his glass and taking a drink of the gin soon after.

"Your turn," you giggled, pushing the pile towards him.

"Oh, okay. What a way to shift the topic," Tom breathed out, scanning the card one more time as he sat up straighter. "If I was in a coma how long would you wait for me?" he asked, meeting your gaze with a tender smile.

"I'll keep waiting for you until you wake up, no matter how long," you answered, without even a single inch of doubt, despite the slight shake in your voice as your eyes started to well up. "Never giving up on you."

"Darling," Tom cooed softly with a pout, the screeching sound of his chair echoing around the space as he pushed his seat back. He went back over to your side quickly, remaining on his feet as he leaned down to engulf you in a tight and warm embrace, swaying you side to side in the most comforting way as he whispered sweet nothings against your hair.

You buried your face in his chest with a shaky breath, the material of his hoodie soft against your cheek. You willed your brain not to think much of it, to not dwell on that thought and focus more on the Tom's warmth that's coated you right now. Or else you'll end up a bawling mess, and with the alcohol in your system, it's not a good idea to start crying now.

Your man pulled away gently with a charming smile, cupping your face with both hands as he towered over your seated form. "I'd do the exact same, just so you know," he hummed, brown eyes locked with yours, his thumbs caressing your cheeks fondly before he dipped his head to capture your lips in a loving kiss. You let out a sweet sigh as you melt at the feeling of his soft lips on yours, mind and heart at ease at familiar warmth. The gesture wasn't fully caught on camera though given that you were turned at the opposite direction.

"I love you," you hummed against his lips.

Tom chuckled sweetly, giving you a few more pecks on the lips before pulling away completely, staring right into your eyes as he whispered, "And I love you."

With that he went back to his seat again, flashing you one of his many charming grins before he turned to the group behind the camera.

"You lot are onto something I can tell," Tom said as he raised a brow at the lads who suspiciously grew quiet, looking everywhere in the room but at you two.

Not thinking much of it, you swiftly took another card and read the question. "What would you do if you suddenly get a call that I was gone?" you trailed off at the end of your sentence, brows knitting together as you turned to the group behind the camera. "Guys, this is a cruel question."

"Oh," Tom faltered, smile slowly slipping away from his face as he casted his eyes at his drink.

"Tom, you don't have to answer it," you called out softly, frown deep on your lips as you reached over to take both his hands in yours. But it was already too late when he squeezed your hand tightly, lifting his head back up to meet your gaze and you felt your heart ache. That's when you saw that his mind was already there, brown orbs glossed up as he let out a shaky breath.

"I'd literally shut down," he croaked. "I-I don't know what'd I do if that happens. I just can't imagine my life without you. I—" he stopped, head dropping as his voice broke.

"Oh Tom, come here," you cooed as you immediately got out of your seat and rounded the table, turning him around and away from shot for a bit of privacy. You squatted in between his legs that were spread apart to be much closer to him, gently cupping his face with both your hands so that you were now within eye level. "Hey, look at me," you whispered when you were met by eyes that were screwed shut.

With a deep intake of breath, Tom willed his eyes to open. He looked at you with a small smile playing on his lips, heart steadying at the sight of your beautiful orbs boring into his own. He leaned forward to close the distance between you two, just so he could feel your lips on his. Tom badly needed to. A soft satisfied sigh erupted out your chest as your hand took home on his warm cheek.

"I'm still here bubba. I'm not going anywhere," you hummed against his lips before giving him warm kisses all over his face that made him stifle out a small laugh. You pulled away a little with a loving smile, wiping away the few tears that sat on his skin with your thumb, your touch gentle and warm.

"I love you so much, you know that?" Tom whispered as he looked at you fondly, nudging the tip of his nose with yours in a wholesome manner.

"I love you too, you sweet, soft boy," you giggled, placing a sweet peck on his lips before pulling him in for a hug. You lifted your head up to shoot each of the boys a sharp glare, the three cowering away in their seats as they each said their soft apologies.

Pulling away with a smile, you cupped Tom's face with a hum, "Better?"

"Loads," Tom sighed with a sweet smile, leaning in for one last peck before he lets you go back to your seat. "You purposely put that in there to make me cry didn't you?" Tom spoke, narrowing his eyes at boys who only shrugged in feign innocence. "You lot are evil I tell you."

"Now let's get back on a lighter note!" you exclaimed, pushing the cards towards Tom since it was his turn to ask.

Tom pursed his lips as his brows furrowed at the question. "If you could sleep with any person in the world, who would it be?" he wondered, eyes locking with yours in warning. "Now, careful with your answer, love," he hummed.

"Is that a threat Holland?" you challenged with a raise of your brow.

"I'm just saying, I may already know or will meet this person in the futur—"

"Chris Hemsworth," you blurted, Tom's mouth falling open as he gawked at you in shock. "I'm kidding," you rushed with a hearty laugh.

"Are you though?" Tom doubted, squinting at you suspiciously.

You bit your bottom lip as you held his gaze, Tom letting out a loud gasp when you suddenly took a drink all while maintaining eye contact with him.

"I'm going to have a word with you later missy," he grumbled, voice suddenly an octave deeper, somewhat a soft growl, one that you felt down to your core.

You shifted in your seat with a clear of your throat, shooting him an innocent smile as you said, "To be fair, you did say—publicly may I add—that you'd sleep with Hemsworth too when you did fuck, marry and kill with the three Chrises so, roll the clip!"

Tom shook his head at you with a playful roll of his eyes. "Touché," he sighed, brows furrowed in confusion when you suddenly covered your mouth.

"Oops, I just realized I said the F-word, sorry Harry," you said meekly, a certain smile on your lips which guaranteed that you were now dancing onto drunken territory. Tom knows you like the back of his hand, if the way you were smiling wasn't enough then, the simple look in your eyes would let him know that the alcohol has fully hit you this time.

"It's alright. One bleep word is nothing compared to last week's video. And it's not like this video has been clean anyway," the young twin chuckled.

"So, Fuck Hemsworth, who are you marrying and who are you killing?" Tuwaine asked.

"Marry Evans, Kill Pratt," you answered promptly.

Tom leaned back on his seat as he crossed his arms over his chest, running his tongue over his teeth slowly all while staring you down. "That's a quick answer Y/N," he hummed, shooting you a teasing glare.

"Oh please, yours was quick too, Thomas," you retorted, crossing your arms over your chest as you mirrored him, never backing down from his stare even though it was making you feel certain things.

"Wait, if you're marrying Evans and killing Pratt, and I'm marrying Pratt and killing Evans, does that mean we're set out to kill each other's husband?" Tom started as he leaned forward and towards the table.

"So, if you were successful in killing Evans, and I was successful in killing Pratt, that means we're both widowed," you continued, laying your hands now flat on the marble surface.

"Meaning there's still a chance that we will still end up together. Meant to be if you ask me," Tom concluded, lifting up a hand.

You moved forward to give him a high-five, missing his hand by a lot which made you let out a loud, hearty laugh, Tom following suit with laughs of his own.

"What are you two on?" Harrison said with a crinkle of his nose.

"Alcohol," you and Tom answered at the same time. Both of your mouths turned into the shape of O's as you looked at each other properly delighted.

"Jinx!" both of you exclaimed in unison. "Jinx again!"

"Our mental synchronization; can have but one explanation," you and Tom sang in harmony, never breaking your gaze as you both smiled proudly.

"You—"

"And I—"

"Were—"

"Just—"

"Meant to be!" You two ended with fits of laughter, raising your hands to go for another high five. You missed Tom's hand again which only made you wheeze, tears of joy brimming in yours and his eyes as you tried for the second time, both of you cheering loudly when it finally landed.

"Cringe, really made for each other," Harry gagged teasingly with a grimace to match.

And then Harrison intervened. "How about fuck, marry, kill, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Felton and," he paused, grin turning wider like a Cheshire cat as he wiggled his eyebrows at you. "Tom Holland?"

"That's not part of the game," you protested with a pout.

"Answer the question, darling," Tom encouraged, looking at you expectantly.

"I'm taking a shot," you muttered, going for your drink but before you could even do so, Tom had already taken it far away from your reach. "Hey!" you whined.

Tom chuckled softly as he shook his head no. "You said it's not part of the game so no, you have to answer," he said. "And that's enough alcohol for you, my love," he cooed, tilting his head at you knowingly with a sweet smile. If Tom will let you continue with the drinking then you'll surely be complaining nonstop about the throbbing headache you'll get and the constant nausea after all this.

You sat back on your chair with your bottom lip jutted out, arms crossed over your chest to match, much like a child as you started to think about your answer. Although the process took way longer than you'd expect it to be and the boys were quick to notice.

"Uh oh, she's having a hard time," Harry teased when a few long seconds has gone by and you still haven't given an answer.

"I don't know how I feel about the hesitation here," Tom admitted as he looked at you curiously, brows furrowing with a chuckle when you were still deep in thought after a few seconds more.

"She genuinely is having a hard time," Tuwaine laughed.

"This is so unfair," you grumbled dejectedly as you looked at your man with a sweet, adorable pout, silently asking for help.

"What'd you do with me first to make things easier," Tom offered with a chuckle.

As if there was a hidden message to his words—there wasn't—your face suddenly lit up, slapping your palms on the table excitedly as you sat straighter. "You know what, kill the other two and I'll fuck and marry you," you declared heartily, eyes locked securely with Tom's with the proudest grin playing on your lips.

Tom's heart did somersaults at the mere fact of you wanting to marry him, grin wide and bright as he stared into your orbs, utmost love glowing in yours that was wholesomely mirrored by his brown ones.

It wasn't long until Tom felt his blood rush down though, heat dancing on his skin as his brain got occupied with the thought of you fucking him too. Certain memories flooded his mind, one after the other that it was getting harder for him to stay calm in his seat.

You are honestly giving him a whiplash with how you make him feel one emotion to another in a span of seconds, though Tom wasn't at all complaining.

"That's not how the game works!" Harrison exclaimed.

"I'm pretty happy with that answer," Tom shrugged with a wide, cocky grin, eyes never leaving yours as he raised a brow at you suggestively. You held his gaze with a tilt of your head, bottom lip caught between your teeth to try and stop your smile from growing.

The interaction didn't go unnoticed by Harry though. "Okay, stop eye-fucking each other you horny teenagers," the younger brother complained.

Tom laughed at that, shifting in his seat as he turned towards the camera. "On that note, we're ending the video there. This has been Tom Holland," he paused, giving you a nod as a cue.

"And Mrs. Holland," you blurted at the camera with a smile, eyes widening once you realised the choice of words you've just used. "Oh wait! No! Fuc—I don't mean no as in 'no,' I meant not yet," you fumbled. "We're not even engaged yet! Don't start with the headlines you." You pointed at the camera in warning.

He shook his head with a chuckle, red tinting his cheeks but pure admiration glowed in his eyes. "You own my fucking heart, you know that? You make me melt all the damn time," Tom gushed through gritted teeth, and it was taking a whole lot of his self-control to not jump over the table and just kiss you senseless. You felt your heart grow at his words but you could only bury your face in your hands with a groan of pure embarrassment. "She's drunk, my apologies," Tom added with a laugh as he turned towards the camera.

"Tipsy, there's a difference," you corrected as you shot him a glare.

Tom chuckled, smiling at you widely before turning back to the lens. "Anyway, see you on the next one and peace!" he finished with the sign and then a salute, Harry throwing out an upturned thumb to signal cut.

Once he saw that the camera was off, Tom was out of his seat in record speed, moving over to your now standing form as he swiftly wrapped both his arms around your waist and crashed his lips onto yours with a low groan. His arms tightened around you as he relished the feeling of finally having you so close.

You giggled against the kiss, resting your arms over his shoulders as you leaned back on the table to keep your balance, your bum half-rested on the marble while your foot stayed steady on the floor, legs apart so that Tom can situate himself between them easily.

"So, fuck and marry me huh?" Tom hummed deeply against your mouth, playfully nibbling at your bottom lip before pulling away so he can see your gorgeous face fully.

"Out of all the things I've said, that's what stuck with you?" you giggled with a shake of your head.

"I mean, you fucking me will never fail to sound very hot, reminds me of the few times you did." Tom wriggled his brows at you suggestively, hands giving your waist as teasing squeeze. "Though I don't know which one's hotter, that or you marrying me," he said with the proudest smirk.

"Will you two take this somewhere else?" Harry complained, always the last one to be left in the room given that he's mostly in-charge with taking care of the camera. Harrison and Tuwaine were already gone, continuing whatever they had to do that day.

"Don't think that would make a difference though," Tom chuckled smugly, looking back at you with a knowing grin.

"Which reminds me how we need to sound proof the fucking walls you nasty rabbits."

"I was kidding. We're not that loud fuck off," Tom remarked, rolling his eyes at his brother.

And to prove how wrong Tom's point was, Harrison suddenly started moaning so piercingly right in the next room, his voice a bit muffled but you can still hear him, loud and obnoxious.

"Fuck! Love! Fuck yes! Just like that, darling! Shit baby I'm gonna—"

"Fuck off Harrison you fucking twat!" Tom yelled at the top of his lungs, the blonde lad's boisterous and annoying laugh echoing soon after.

Tom turned crimson red as the embarrassment coated him from head to toe, head dropping for him to hide his face on the crook of your neck with a groan. You let out a soft giggle, hand landing on the back of his head as you ran your fingers through his hair comfortingly. Your face was warm as you were embarrassed just the same, although there was more of a sense of pride on your behalf because yes, Tom does get a bit loud sometimes, all courtesy to you.

It wasn't always of course, both of you aren't evil enough to torture the lads that much. Aside from the fact that Tom is rarely even home—meaning you don't do the deed that much in this house—the two of you had made a pact to make sure that you're completely alone before properly going at it. Admittedly, it does get a bit hard to keep the noise down sometimes, so the boys have to endure it every now and then. They do get back at you guys soon after as they are quick to be little shits with the teasing and dirty jokes, much like now.

"Maybe we do need to soundproof our walls," you teased once your man pulled away to look at you with a soft sigh, hands running up and down your waist sweetly.

"Or we could finally look for our own place to move in?" Tom proposed with a charming smile, your heart melting at the sight and skipping a beat at his words.

Granted, you've been with Tom for a fair three and a half years already, but neither of you had gone to take that step of actually living fully on your own where it's just no one but him and you in your own home. You've been living in this house for roughly the same time—maybe a year or two less—and you've got no problem living with the lads, you consider them as your brothers now. But you won't deny that having a place exclusively for you and Tom only would be pure bliss.

Of course you've talked about getting your own place and neither of you were opposed to it. It all just came down to Tom being constantly busy and barely even home. You'd rather live with the boys for the mean time than sulk all alone in a house while slowly being buried in the emotions of missing your boyfriend.

Tom also wanted to be there for the most of it—choosing and buying furniture, decorating a thing or two, moving, the likes—but with his schedule, it was hard to find the perfect time.

But now he's promised you that he'd slow down for a bit.

He genuinely hasn't done anything but work nonstop. It was just projects upon projects with only so little breaks in between, a month if he's lucky. Tom is one hardworking man, that's one of the many things you love about him, but he sometimes doesn't realize when he's pushing himself too far.

That's when you step in.

You'd encouraged him to take a breather, even if it's just for half a year or so but you never did pester him about it constantly as you weren't one to take him away from doing what he loves. Unless it gets way out of hand, then that's when you'll be putting your foot down. You know he'll do it whenever he's ready to slow down and now with most of his projects wrapped, he's finally decided that it was the right time to take that much needed break.

"I love the sound of that," you giggled, treading your fingers through his hair before tracing it down his chiseled jaw. "Not as much as I love the sound of you moaning though," you hummed teasingly.

"Well then, let's find our own place so you can hear me moan all for you and as loud as you want, darling," Tom purred lowly, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as his darkened orbs bored into yours, his hands sliding down to rest on the swell of your bum. He fondled the flesh hotly as he started to lean closer to capture your lips. But before Tom could even do so a loud voice made you both jump away from each other.

"For fuck's sake guys! I'm still fucking here!" Harry yelled, throwing both his hands in the air in downright annoyance and disgust as he screwed his eyes shut. "Go to your fucking room for the love of my sanity!"

You didn't even get a chance to apologise to the young lad as Tom swiftly grabbed your hand and rushed to your shared bedroom.

Nothing happened though apart from a couple minutes of making out, Tom deciding not to take it further given that you were all tipsy and intoxicated. Him deciding since you were persistent on saying you were fine even though you were giggling nonstop, easily tickled no matter how feather-like his kisses were. Not to mention how you could barely even keep your eyes open. So, both of you ended up taking a warm bath and then a nap right after that, instead.

Although the minute you sobered up, Tom made sure you weren't at all quiet this time around. It was due to the pent up tension that's been building since that somewhat steamy Q&A. And maybe, just maybe to get back at the boys a teeny bit for being little shits with both the teasing jokes and the dirty questions.

The two of you went out of your bedroom only at dinner time, stepping foot in the dining area where Harry, Tuwaine and Harrison were all situated. You felt the embarrassment coat every inch of your body when you took sight of the boys, more specifically, their expressions. Tom, on the other hand, had the cockiest smirk playing on his lips as he held his head high, tauntingly chuckling at his mates.

The three lads were sitting around the table with nothing but grimaces and downright disgust on their faces as they all grumbled in unison,

"Rabbits."

-:-:-:-:-

like, reblog & leave a comment if you enjoyed! tell me your thoughts! <3

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[destroyscythe-heck]

An incomplete list of cursed things that happened in a dream I had about a live action Gundam Wing movie when I took a nap yesterday

1. There was an orchestral cover of “Everybody” by the Backstreet Boys playing during like the boys setting up for the big final showdown

2. The dialogue I remember was mostly MCU style quips and snarky stuff

3. Duo’s character basically got completely gutted and replaced with him being the standard stock action movie comic relief

4. Hilde, Dorothy, Mike Howard,and the Manganac corps all got completely cut

5. Wufei got done realizing dirty “because nobody liked Wufei anyway so it’s fine if he’s just an unsympathetic dick who gets bullied the whole time”, it was very mean spirited and probably also really really racist with how he was handled

6. Relena also got completely gutted to to just make her “Heero’s love interest who is a girl who sometimes also talks about how pacifism is neat” probably to make her seem less “annoying” or “pushy” or “preachy” or “SJW-ish” because people would mock the movie on YouTube

7. Quatre was being played by a white actor but it was justified in the story by none of the Winner kids being the same race or even looking related at all because their parents got a bit creative during the Gattaca-ing of their army of test tube babies

Also out of the script the people making the movie said they were justified in doing that because they added more new diversity by casting Trowa as black and a “plus size” actress to be Sally (Both of which I am ok with but we went through this with the live action Winx Club show, you can’t erase some pre existing diversity and then pretend it’s okay by adding something new, you definitely could have had kept Flora in the show and cast a plus size Latina actress) Also (Yes I’m still mad about that because Flora and Tecna were my favorite Winx Club characters, and erasing her to have Terra be there was complete BS because again, plus size Latina actresses exist)

(Winx Club rant tangent over)

8. Noin was the cookie cutter generic type of “stronk female character ™️” that hasn’t really been anything groundbreaking since the 80’s and also showed that you completely missed the point of why people like Ripley from Alien

9. Treize actually had a motivation this time! But it seemed like it was written by somebody who still thinks that “Illuminati Confirmed” is the cutting edge of the hip cool meme culture for the youths

10. Kathrine and Trowa kissed and then later had a completely out of character-ly dramatic freak out when they found out that they are actually siblings in a cheap attempt to make fun of Luke and Leia Skywalker

11. Une was a complete caricature of herself, like she was so Sat A.M. cartoon villain obviously evil that you’d really wonder why anyone is comfortable having her as an underling because it’s so obvious that she’s that evil and would sell you to satan for one corn chip, but it seemed like if you snatched her glasses off her face she could go from skinning adorable puppies alive with one hand while pressing the big red button with the other to wanting to go bake cookies with Relena or whatever

12. I know that Heero already wasn’t the most emotional character ever but you could have literally replaced him with a mannequin wearing a wig, a green tank top, bike shorts, and a pair of Timbs (for product placement reasons) in his scenes and nobody would notice

13. The already incredibly shallow criticism of drone warfare that was done with the mobile dolls was somehow watered down even more

14. Sally’s rebel group became a stand in for the US army who were obviously supposed to be the good guys

15. The old scientist dudes who started Operation Meteor were also evil because they were also in the Illuminati who are playing both sides with earth and space and the original Operation Meteor was a false flag attack meant to cause total chaos on earth for reasons

16. But everyone ended up okay because the boys got found by Sally and the thinly veiled stand in for the US Army

17. Zechs had a complete mental breakdown when he left OZ and him forming White Fang himself from the remains of the colony rebels was him having a Joker arc

18. … because Relena said she didn’t love him anymore and was mad at him for becoming a war criminal even though he actually could remember what the Sanc Kingdom was like and how their dad was Mr. Pacifist Mc Pacifismface, but she didn’t say all that aloud. Just only that she didn’t love her brother anymore and only that

19. But he ended up okay and perfectly good because during the climactic Libra fight Noin was there and she kissed him and made him not the Joker anymore through the power of redemption arc love

20. And finally, there was a really prominent fart joke featuring Duo Maxwell in like the first 5 minutes

[dkniade]

Sadbedo sitting at a camp in Dragonspine

Stress relief piece that I finished the next day.

Drafted on 08-08-2022. 2:22 AM. I’m calmer now.

art and writing process utc.

Drawing Albedo in full took some time BECAUSE OF ALL THE DETAILS ON THIS MAN but it’s fine. I’m slowly getting used to his design! His boots are kind of funky…

Drawing Albedo in full took some time BECAUSE OF ALL THE DETAILS ON THIS MAN but it’s fine. I’m slowly getting used to his design! His boots are kind of funky…

Anyway my process here was basically pose sketch > cleaner sketch > base colours (all on top of a screen layer because the screenshot was too dark to see things clearly)

And then the fun part. AMBIENCE.

I made the glow of the fire to be warmer and brighter since I wanted more warm colours (and for Albedo to stare into a fire, whatever underlying message that might imply, haha…)

My layers look like this

But I think for this first one the airbrushed orange colour on the “haze” screen layer was too strong so the light on the boots ended up too hazy for my preference (not shiny enough). Must’ve added shading to bring out the form instead of just the overlay lighting with airbrush… The highlights on colour dodge make the gloves and boots look more shiny which is nice. I also added some teal behind Albedo so the background isn’t too dark and has a softer look.

By now I’ve also added a snow layer. Originally I tried using motion blur on the snow but then it looked like Albedo was stranded in a snowstorm instead of just sitting there, reflecting and being sad. It’s… a Contemplation in Snow you could say lmao

And finally, the dialogue, because I love writing dialogues. Let’s see… Technical stuff aside, I went to Dragonspine for comfort, a change of scenery, and for some nice music (I know the region’s OSTs so well I can almost name each over world track by ear lmao)

“Although a dangerous place, this mountain provides me an odd sense of comfort.”

“I suppose you can call it an escape from life’s… complexities.”

“How does it feel to be sleeping beneath the snow like this, Durin?”

Since this was meant for stress relief due to personal reasons, the first two lines reflect my feelings directly for Dragonspine. Now, the line about Durin was meant to show a sort of emotional (?) connection Albedo has with Durin, and hinting at him worrying that he might die on the mountain under maybe the Traveler’s blade. (“If one day I lose control…” Y’know how it goes.)

Out of the three lines, I came up with this line first, actually... Metaphorically speaking, it’s about my… loneliness? It’s rare for me to find people in my friend circle that enjoy media and/or literary analysis on this stuff, so sometimes I feel this way. (But not to such a dark extent, of course!)

Other lines I had considered were something along the lines of a physical report (something I do when I’m nervous, for example checking my pulse) like,

“Breathing: Difficult. Heartbeat: Escalating.”

“How should I return these vital signs to normal, exactly?”

But since it was originally just meant to be a self-indulgent “project onto Albedo because I’m sad” thing, I decided to go the usual way of feelings and metaphors… Me talking about my art process does sound rather analytical but trust me when I say my poetry is filled with extended metaphors. (You can find more of them on IG under the same handle.)

Thank you for reading this! I enjoy talking about my thought process for my artworks and written works just as much as I do for translation, if not more. With that said, please take care.