#in retrospect it no doubt heavily contributes to my

[tanoraqui]

it has occurred to me, as I age, that most people did not spend their childhoods getting simplified breakdowns of class-action lawsuits explained to them over dinner at least once a week

[popculturebuffet]

One Year Anniversary: Top 12 Ducktales Episodes!

Happy anniversary all you happy people! Yes it was one year ago today I started reviewing animation and it’s been a ride to be sure. I’d always WANTED to be a reviewer: I love going on and on about stuff I love, really digging into it and picking it apart... but I could never get started. I tried youtube but I didn’t have the money for the equipment nor a proper shooting space to record, so my efforts.. were not great. And while I TRIED text reviews, my own looming pile of self hatred meant every attempt I made was shot down when it got hard as me not being good enough. 

But one year ago I finally got past that. I’d already been reviewing a bit, doing invididual issues of comics... but got way in over my head trying to do the current line of X-Men comics as it came out, and wisely bowed out of that. But that left a gap: I had nothing to cover week to week and with a demanding new job, I drifted into just doing in charcter chats, little fan fictions script styles. Not bad work, I should do some more at some point and I even got a comissoin once in a while, but nothing I could really live on and not what I wanted to do with my life. 

Enter Ducktales. I’d always WANTED to review the show.. and when the double premire happened, I decided fuck it, and put up my thoughts. And then decided.. hey maybe I can do this every week.. and slowly.. my work evolved, getting better and better, getting more and more likes. I picked up Amphibia when that came by week to week.

And eventually.. this went from a hobby, if one I was passionate about to a career. Not a largely paying one, as only one person was really intrested in paying me for it, friend of the blog and our fincial backer @weirdkev27, but .. it’s money and i’m now making about 30 dollars a month due to a comination of comissions and patreon. Other contributers are always welcome mind you, my patreon is here if your curious and comissions are 5 dollars an episode, but i’ts just nice to have money coming in. To have gone from simply WANTING to review things and make a living off it.. to simply doing it. 

And it’s been one hell of a year.. and not just because 2020 felt like hell or 2021 began with a full on insurrection. I feel like i’ve acomplished a lot in the year i’ve been doing this: I finished what I started with Ducktales season 3, getting better and better as I went. And I didn’t stop there with ducks: I started covering what brought me to Ducks in the first place, the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, and while that retrospective has slid a bit on the schedule, I intend to get it back on track this month. I reviewed a bunch of Darkwing Duck episodes leading up to the Just Us Justice Ducks.. chronologically anyway. The actual airing order reads like someone took 50 issues of a comic, made it rain with them, then just started reading whatever ones they picked up randomly. I also covered some of Duck Master Carl Barks work with the classics Night on Bear Mountain, A Christmas for Shacktown and Back to the Klondike, with more to come. 

And the Duck didn’t stop at just reviews I did on my own: Kev comissioned two MASSIVE retrospectives from me: My first for him was Ride of the Three Caballleros where in just a few short months I covered the boys entire televisied careers together from the movie, to house of mouse, to mickey and the roadster racers, to ducktales (again) and finishing with the wonderful Legend of the Three Caballeros. It has probably the worst Daisy imaginable, but otherwise is really excellent and i’m glad I finally watched it. I also covered Don Rosa’s two stories with the boys as part of it. It was a fun ride and I enjoyed every minute of it... okay most of them again Three Cabs Daisy is the worst. And once that finished Kev started up another idea: Shadow Into Light: a look at Lena’s character arc from start to finish that has gone on to be my most popular series on this blog, and that finishes next week. And there’s more to come as after that there’s a short breather with a look at Lilo and Stitch’s crossover episodes.. folllowed by me looking at all three of season 2′s ducktales arcs. And I fully intend to have covered every episode of the series by this time next year, so stay tuned. 

Outside of ducks though I didn’t slow down. I restarted my Tom Lucitor retrospective, covering what i feel to be one of Star Vs’ two best characters, tied with eclipsa, and my personal faviorite as he redeemeed himself, found love and I bitched a lot about the horrible directions the series took and probabably will more as that’s still not done yet. I did what I always wanted to do and started looks at some of my faviorite comics ever, starting with Life and Times and adding in New X-Men and Scott PIlgrim. I also threw in the awesome comic Blacksad. I did pride month for the first time and not only came out publicly, but also did two whole arcs i’m proud of with The Saluna episodes of Loud house and the rednid episodes of OK KO, and generally just had myself a good old fashioned time as an out bi man reviewing childrens cartoons. 

I started Season 2 of amphibia with it’s lows of an endlesss road trip and highs of adding Marcy to the cast and giving us more of the silky voiced keith david. And finally Patreon wise Kev’s taken me on a hell o fa journey: In addition to the restrospectives i’ve covered some additional darkwing duck, and a simpsons homage to the duck comics... but also got a bit weird and obscure with detours like the lost animnaics sucessor Histeria, the apocalyptic comedy where Santa dosen’t know how doors work Whoops! and the adventures of Santa’s bratty teen daughter jingle belle. In short.. it’s been a long year but damn has it been fun and there’s more to come. I’d like to thank all of you for reading, thank my Patreons Kev and Emma for supporting me, and thank my family for doing the same.  So with that out of the way, I figured the best way to celebrate was to do something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time, something honoring the show that gave me this calling in the first place. And with Season 3 sadly being the last, and enough weeks having passed for me to digest it between the finale and today, I could think of nothing better than my top 12 episodes of Ducktales.

Ducktales is one of the best cartoons of the 2010′s. Brilliantly taking EVERYTHING that had come before, the comics, the original cartoon and every bit of duck media period to craft a masterful, unique and wonderful reboot. It was funny, it was insane, and it had damn good character arcs. By the end every member of the main cast along with major supporting cast members like Fenton, Drake and especially Lena, had changed and signifigantly at that. The show was everything I could’ve dreamed of and more and I miss it terribly, hoping DIsney will do a revivial movie at some point. For now though, Frank and Matt’s run on ducktales, as they called it and I do too since i’m a massive comic book nerd, it’s time to look back on my favorite tales of ducks. So grab your sharks, your number one dimes and your friendship cakes with clear gay undertones and join me under the cut as I celebrate one of my faviorite shows and my anniversary in the best way possible. 

12. House of the Lucky Gander! 

 So as i’ve gone on about before and no doubt will again, Donald kinda got the short end of the stick in season 1. While Frank and Matt had good story intentions, keeping Donald away from adventure since he had no interest in it, in practice it meant a beloved Disney Icon who they and disney HEAVILY promoted as part of the series and whose being here this go round was a big draw for fans of the comics.... was only in a quarter of the season and only got TWO plots centered around him in 23 episodes, with only one being the main plot of the episode. The PIlot and Finale both centered around the family more as a whole if your curious how I counted those so while he got plenty of focus in both, it’s still not a day in the limelight sort of thing. 

But unusually for Donald, he lucked out as his one big starring role for Season 1 was both one of my faviorites and one of Season 1′s most inventive outings.  A lot of the episodes enegy comes from a one two punch of a great guest star and one of the series best settings. The guest star is of course everyone’s faviorite overly lucky himbo Gladstone Gander. The show adapted the prick perfectly: The original Gladstone from the comics.. was the worst asshole imaginable, utterly insufferable. And for a villian, and Donald’s rival, that’s all well and good.. but his super luck meant he RARELY , if ever, suffered any consequences for being just...

The 87 series simply made him nicer, while Going Quackers simply removed his luck. No adaptation really got how to make this fucker work.. until this one. Here Frank split the diffrence: Gladstone is still smug.. but he’s no longer actively malicious. While he is an insensitive prick to Donald in this one, unlike the comics he’s not constantly bragging about his luck or how great he is or actively BAITING Donald to fight with him or trying to ruin his relationship or a million other reasons he sucks and I hate him.

This version by contrast... is generous. He’s not the most empathetic, because he doesn’t get how life works, but he does share the riches of the casnio with everyone and in a cameo appearance in “Treasure of the Found Lamp” gladly offers his nephews some diamonds. He’s got a nice surface level charm to him that makes you understand why people like him.. but it’s also clear ther’es nothing UNDER that of value, making you equally understand why Scrooge and Donald hate him. Gladstone in this reboot is a perfect example of why we need reboots or new adaptations in the first place: Because sometimes the original got something wrong or something can be done much better by the new writers. 

He’s perfectly paired with the setting: The House of Lucky Fortune, a mystical casino with an East Asian astatic based in the country of Macaw and provides two great plots. Donald’s really highlights his character: His understandable jealousy at gladstone earning the boys love through nothing while he struggles to make a living for them, and how he feels like a looser and like Gladstone is simply showing that off instead of just not knowing what empathy is. Having Louie be the one to bond with Gladstone was also just pitch pefefct, as is showing some depth for the boy by having himr ealize his hero is an asshole and be the one to help donald in the end. 

The other plot is just pure joy though and is where the setting REALLY shines: Scrooge and the rest of the kids try to leave.. but can’t find the exit. This is where the creative part comes in: The Casino simply morphs to keep people trapped, and caters to them, giving them whatever they want to keep them trapped. In the cases of the kids it’s all hilarious and adorably in character: Huey becomes entranced by a fancy water show, in one of his best bits of the season, Dewey gets a pet tiger who sadly did not come home with him and Webby gets to live the dream we’ve all had of stuffing her face directly in a choclate fountain. Scrooge’s escape is likewise clever: He simply prepares to get a room.. then books it as the check in desk is ALWAYS near the front. 

We then find out Gladston’es trapped get the whole mystical contest with absolutely gorgeous animation, i’ll talk about it in full some time but this episode is just a treat to watch, has a great arc for donald and had some memorable gags. I can’t help but smile when I watch it. 

11. The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!  As I mentioned before i’m a superhero nerd so naturally Fenton was one of my faviorite parts of the show. Frank and Matt were just damn good at crafting superhero stories, and like gladstone improved fenton turning him from an awkward donald stand in to an awkward peter parker-esque science nerd who just wants to be a good person and the best hero he can be. He got into science not just because he thinks it’s neat, but because he honestly wants to help people and you can’t help but foot for him whenever he pops up. Lin Manuel Miranda is a large reason for that, bringing his incomparable a-game to the character. While we sadly didn’t get a ton of gizmoduck focused episodes, the fatct we got AS MANY as we did and that Lin didn’t drop out for a minute even with his busy schedule was a miracle and I’m acknowledging that. 

As for why this one, I feel it builds brilliantly on the previous Fentoncentric episode Who Is Gizmoduck?! which just BARELY didn’t make this list and uses the fact we haven’t seen fenton in a while as both a plot point and to move some things forward without having to spend screentime they clearly didn’t have. By having Fenton be just burnt out on superheroics it finds a way to both explain where he’s been, he’s been busy with his new job, and give us an interesting angle to the old “superhero is tired of the life” thing. He never once complains about saving people or stuff... it’s just like any job it gets tiring after a while. As someone who has his dream job but has struggled with it from time to time, I vastly relate. 

Though while I love my boy and Lin is game as always, the episodes real MVP is my other boy Huey. The episode has moved Huey up from being simply Fenton’s fanboy to being his best friend, and adorable as hell relationship. The two clearly respect and appricate each other and Huey is looking out for his buddy the whole episode. His love of love is also just really cute. Added in the mix is Webby, who in one of my faviorite gags of the series, finds out Fenton is  Gizmoduck because Huey is incredibly and insanely blatant with his unecessary coverup. But she of course is game to help while Fenton is trying to play it casual. We also just get a waterfall of great gags as everyone overdoes it wingmanning for fenton: Huey sets up an itallian bistro and tries to purposfully create a lady and the tramp situation, and sings opera (With Manny on acordian), the wonderfully 80′s suit from Fenton’s dad his mom gives him to wear, and Launchpad, who gives us a tremendous list of his exes, and plays my favorite song of the series: It’s a Date, a micheal mcdonnel riff. 

This episode also wisely ups Mark’s Beaks game as Fenton’s arch enemy, still keeping him hilaroius, with the guy acting like a bored teenager and guzzling so much nanite jucie he turns into a hulk, as well as said hulk mode leading to a ton of great gags from kidnapping the children (”I got your kids.. are they your kids? I don’t know how this family works), to “take that coach dad” to eating a pie with tins and all and wondering about said tins. But he’s an actual threat now, taking on fenton in one hell of a fight, and having an utterly transcendent scene where he hacks his way past gyro’s security while dancing.. and dabbing because of course he does. It’s a fun, well done character piece that’s mostly here for i’ts laugh but Fenton’s struggle with Gizmo overtaking his life, and finding out someone he truly hit it off iwth only wanted him for that.. it’s really good stuff and Lin’s delivery after Fenton finds out, the pure pain and betryal in his voice, is just excellent. Also that opera scene is poetry. 

10. Quack Pack!

One of the episodes that started my career naturally landed here. Not for that reason though: Quack Pack is a fun riff on sitcoms, specifically the tgif ones of the 90′s that Disney Afternoon Kids no doubt also watched, the kinds Disney Channel still makes today, and most importanly the kind the Disney Afternoon itself made like Goof Troop and well... Quack Pack. 

Riffs on sitcoms are nothing new and the last year has been FULL of them. 2020 gave us this episode, Beef House and the wonderful “The Perfect House” episode of Close Enough, and this year gave us WandaVision, my second favorite MCU project so far, right behind Black Panther, which used the sitcom deconstruction to create one hell of a character study. 

So you’d think with a year having passed and this concept happening as an entire mini series would dull this one.. but no. it’s still damn funny, having fun at the cliches while, again like WandaVision, having one of the main cast be responsible by accident but go along with it. The episode pivots from glorious affectionate parody of cheesy sitcoms, to that plus horrifying “Humans”, and a character piece for Donald. This brings Donald’s hatred and fed up ness with adventure to a head revealing his fondest wish is just to have a normal life and not loose anyone again. 

It takes one of his best friends to snap him out of it. Look Goofy is my second faviorite of the sensational seven, an episode with him was already an easy sell for me.. but the episode uses him really well. First for laughs as he’s gentically dispositioned to be a perfect sitcom neighbor.. but also for heart. With his family preoccupied and a bit hurt, i’ts Goofy who cuts to the heart of the issue, pointing out NO ONE is normal and even his normal domestic life raising Max, who we see go to prom with roxanne eeeeee, has all sorts of chaos. Normal is what you make of it and pining for some ideal that will never happen was just tearing donald apart piece by piece and by letting go of that.. he finally begins to grow as a person throughout the season. It’s also a great thematic tie in to the season’s overall plot with Bradford and what Makes donald, despite also disliking the chaos his family gets into, different. Donald accepted it and grew as a person.. Bradford clung to his hate and it ate him alive. Or turned him into a non-sapient kind of vulture. Before I close this part out Jaleel White is also excellent and I wish eh’d get back into voice acting. He’s so freaking good at it. Seriously man i’d love to see him and ben in a sonic property together as a mythology gag. Same with Jims cummings and carey. Just think about it whoever owns the sonic movies.. think about it. 

9. The Last Adventure!

Look I knew this was coming, you knew this was coming. But it had to be on here. The Last Adventure is not perfect: The lack of a build up episode like the previous two finales had really hurt this one: even at about 70 minutes, it still feels rushed in places and Huey, one of hte main characters of the season, dosen’t feel like he has a full payoff to his character like Dewey and Louie got. 

But despite those flaws.. this episode is just a damn good ending. Almost everyone gets a big moment paying off their character arc, everyone in the party that comes to rescue webby and huey, along with the two themselves, gets a moment to show off, and everything comes together to give us one last epic sendoff. There’s just moment stacked on moment stacked on moment from Launchpads heroic second wind and donning of the gizmoduck armor, to Webby’s tearful confrontation with Beakley, to Huey using the greatest adventure of all line to foil bradford in one of the most deligfhully nuts moments of the series, I could go on for days with just how triumphant this finale felt. While it left a lot of doors open.. that feels like part of the design. It’s the end of the fight with FOWL.. but our heroes will never stop adventuring, never stop going and never stop being in our hearts and the curtain call at the end is now my faviorite bit of end credits ever, perfectly giving the main cast and friends one last chance to take a bow in their own unique ways. I will always miss this show but I will never be disapointed by the note it went out on. 

8. The 87 Cent Solution!

Look some episodes are show stoppers, some are heartfelt tearjerkers, some are all this and more.. and some episodes are just clever and hilarious. The 87 Solution is the second funniest episode of Ducktales with me and my go to episode when watching the show. It’s just pure fun and with a clever premise: Scrooge notices 87 cents have gone missing, and already coming down with a cold, goes mad with paranoia as the kids slowly don face masks, something that has become even eeerier given everything, one by one realizing he needs to stop. 

While David Tennant is an EXCELLENT dramatic actor, his comedy timing is really something that shoudln’t be ignored and i’ts on full display here as his performance gets more and more deranged, to thep oint he thinks an 8th dimensional imp is repsonsible. He nicely balances the disturbing side of Scrooge’s paranoia, his distancing from his family, with plenty of great gags about it too, the standout being when he offers 2 million dollars to whoever took the money like he’s publicly appeasing kidnappers. It’s fucking brilliant. 

But while David is awesome as ever what really, truly makes the episode is my boy, one of my faviorite characters on the show if not my single faviriote FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Keith Ferguson is ALWAYS a dream as the character but this is his best performance by far. Part of this is the addition of Zan Owlson, Kev who I mentioned earlier’s faviorite Ducktales character. She’s not only throughly likeable in her own right, but provides the one thing Flinty was missing; a straight man.. or woman in this case. Scrooge wasn’t TERRIBLE in the roll, but can easily step away from his shit or foil it. Owlson has to put up with Glomgold’s nonsense while desperatly trying to stop him from undoing all her hard work with sheer force of jackass. The two jut play off each other brilliantly, Glomgold not getting sh’es not his employee but his equal and Owlson constnatly snarking at him. 

And of course both things hit their peak in the climax with the family staging a fake funeral (Though no one told donald it was fake), and we get the funniest scene in the entire fucking show as Glomgold burts in in a white suit, money shades and full dance number to “All I Do Is Win’, which when first watching this I was convinced the song was somehow accidnetly on in the background but nope. They got it after using it in the test phase and the scene is better for it. Glomgold twerking on Scrooge’s casket, trying to get on it to dance, and having to be placated like ac hild is the icing on this very rich cake

And the reveal scene is also gold as Glomgold gets into a YEARLONG staring contest with a baby, fails to steal more than the 87 cents and, in my faviorite touch, put on an imp costume just to make scrooge seem crazier... then keeps the damn thing on the rest of the time for no explicable reason. The episode is the show at it’s comedic peak while giving Glomgold a chance to be a genuine threat and that’s Glomgood. 

7. Let’s Get Dangerous!

Frank’s Rebooted Version of Darkwing Duck is probably his greatest achivment with the show. While this show is a team effort, something I slowly realized as I reviewed the show, it’s very clear from the way he talks, how well he knows the show and how much effort was put into porting Darkwing into the reboot that this was his baby. While redefining ducktales for the 2010′s was clearly a huge dream of his... doing the same for the master of suprise was an even bigger goal. And as a huge fan of superheroes i’ve seen my fair share of half assed takes on laired and complex characters. The XCU alone is one giant grab bag of missed opportunities for me. 

So i’ts no exageration when I tell you Frank.. nailed it. In one of the most brilliant moves i’ve seen for a superhero work Frank worked his love of the show into the reboot.. by having Darkwing have been a show, one Launchpad loved.. and so did Drake, who was inspried by the show to become an inspriation himself and while his attempt to do that through a zack snydery reboot failed, Launchpad encouraged him to do it for real. Drake was still himself, but the meta aspect and the toning down of some of darkwing’s more obnoxious traits that didn’t work in a universe that, while patently rediciulous still took it’s characters seriously, he made a BETTER version of the character.

This is where all that comes to it’s peak, and hoppefully convinced Disney to let Frank , and possibly matt, run the reboot. And no, even if Point Grey is producing that dosen’t stop that: Thanks to Invincible i’ve now realized that Seth and his friend Evan producing the show dosen’t mean it’ll be RAN by them, nor unrelated to this. It just means their helping make it and if anything given how lush and gorgeous invincible’s animation is, it’s a VERY good sign their helping out with it if it’s true. 

But wether this versoin continues or not, Frank gave it his best shot. Part of his diffrent angle is having Drake as a rookie here and as such here we see him truly struggle: he’s had his origin, he ahs the cape, he has the gadgets (in a brilliant turn thanks to fenton, who he actually likes... but is so far the ONLY person to not get he’s Gizmoduck), and the city.. but no crime to fight and no real idea how to go about his lifelong dream. The events of the episode slowly shape him: WHile he already had the spirit for darkwing, never giving up, looking good in a cape etc, this episode gives him the heart the same way it gave his original it: With Gosalyn. Dimantopolis and Beatriz just play off each other perfectly, as the two go from neimies to slowly bonding as Drake realizes this kid needs him and that he needs to fight for more than just filing the ohle inside, and goes to hell and back to help her get her grandpa back, with one of the best moments of the episode to me being when Launchpad helps her realize how hard he’s been working at it, an exausted drake refusing to acccept that he can’t get her grandpa back because he promised. He grows from simply trying to live the dream.. to surpassing the original. We also see more from Launchpad, who grows into his new family and helps push his boyfriend and newa dopted daughter in the right directions. The episode really evolves these characters from the simple disney afternoon versions, who while awesome were made into fully fleshed out characters. Gosalyn still has her edge but now has a hard lesson to learn about doing the right thing, forced to give up someone she loves for the greater good but finding a new family in the process. 

Part of what makes the episode work though as while it is funcitonally one big darkwing duck reboot pilot that’s awesome, heartrending and a joy to watch... it’s still a ducktales episode in parts without either part hurting each other. Huey plays a vital role, figuring the ramrod is too good to be true.. and discovering just how it is, then when captured, slowly unravling why Bradford’s there and being at least in part responsible for outing him as a FOWL agent. While this is largely Drakes story the rest of the cast is still vital to it: Scrooge trusting in huey, Louie serving as his logical counter and Dewey meanwhile bonding with team darkwing and helping Gosalyn, knowing exactly where she’s been and providing a nice foil. The episode is just one long and impressive love letter to the original show while creating it’s own thing and that’s really this reboot in a nutshell. It also has some of the best fights of the series, with the first fight between darkwing and bulba, where our hero, unlike his original counterpart, easily troucnes bulba using his speed and skill, is the standout. 

6. Woo-Ooo!

I covered this one recently so I won’t go on for too long.. but I will say I hold this one up as the gold standard for first episodes. In one hour, hell even in jus the first half we get a sense of the whole cast, the tone of the show, and the world we’ve been thrust into. It gets all the table setting out of the way by weaving it into a compelling story of Scrooge getting back in the game, finding a reason to get back to what he does best in those he loves most and setting up the season long arc effortlessly in the process. The worst I can say about the episode is it sets the bar a bit high for Season 1 and a lot of the first half really struggled to reach these heights. This episode is a masterwork and the perfect showcase for what the series would be at it’s height. 

5. Moonvasion!

Speaking of Golden Standards, Moonvasion is one of the best season finale’s i’ve seen. it’s not THE best.. but that’s a really high bar to clear and that spots currently taken in my heart by “The Crossroads of Destiny” from Avatar the Last Airbender. But while not the best of it’s kind, it’s sitll the best the series put out and is an utterly satisfying epic that ties up season 2. 

While I love the Last Adventure, it had a LOT to tie up and was really hampered by having to do all of that with no direct lead in. Moonvasion by contrast hits the ground running with the Moonlanders arriving on earth and all hell breaking loose, and the episode itself breaking into two stellar plots. Scrooge leading an army of every ally he has against the invaders, and Della seemingly going for reinforcements.. but really just trying to keep the kids safe from it, to their anger once they find out. 

Both sides end up going badly: Scrooge looses most of his army as Lunaris was one step ahead of him and is left iwth Beakly and Launchpad, while Della ends up marooned.. and finds Donald. The reunion between the two is the highlight of the special, as the two argue as you’d expect (And Dewey cutting in seemingly to stop it.. only to rant at Donald for costing him “ten years of turbo” is the best gag of the episode), before embracing. 

Our heroes naturally find ways to bounce back though. Louie, capping off his growth for the season, convinces his mom they can’t just hide.. and in the second best scene of the episode sings the lullabye she wrote.. one Donald sung them every night

And no sooner than Della gets her step back and realizes that dangerous or not she and her newly reunited family have to get back in there, do the cousins show up on Fethry’s giant shrimp/girlfriend Mitzi, and our heroes head back. 

Scrooge’s plot hits i’ts peak though as he’s forced to accept the help of an unlikely and unwelcome ally: Glomgold, who turns out to be exactly what they need: While his plan is as stupid, short sighted and insane as you’d expect, complete with forcing Scrooge to dress up as santa just to piss him off and dressing his sharks in parkas (”I call them sharkas”), the sheer lonacy throws Lunaris off as he dosen’t know how to deal with this and Glomgold not only gets the better of him but gets his company back as part of his scheme.  “You were prepared for our best but not our dumbest!” “And i’m the dumbest theirs ever been! Muahahahaha! Wait...”

And of course our other heroes arrive just in time to save things.. and the episode still manages to pull off what many works struggle to, something tha’ts very hard to: a SECOND climax. Lunaris decides to just say fuck it and blow up the earth and i’ts up to our core family to kick his ass in space. Epic space battles, Della’s girlfriend meeting the family and more insues and an emotoinal, action packed and fully satisfying finale is had by all... and it’s all topped with one of the best sequel hooks i’ve ever seen as FOWL makes themselves known to us.. and prepares to strike. 

4. How Santa Stole Christmas! This one will also be short as i’ve talked about this one.. a lottttt. The initial review, my best christmas specials list and my best of 2020 list. I stand by all of that: this is a unique and wonderful christmas special, i’ll be watching it every year, and i’ts full of charm, humor and gay subtext. In short it’s this series but on christmas footing. 

3. Last Crash of the Sunchaser! 

Another one I covered very recently, this episode is a master piece of suspense, slowly building tension as our heroes get closer and closer to the truth about Della.. and to death, the simple but deadly stakes making this an absolute nailbiter from start to finish. This is some of the series best pacing bar none... but what seals it is the ending: the masterful flashback finally explaning whatever happened to Della duck, our heroes lashing out at each other.. all cumilating in the best Scene of the show. I said it might be in the review but no I can confirm: Scrooge bitterly ruminating over things while we find out just how much he’s lost... ending with him tearfully and angrily sitting once again alone in one hell of a powerful shot echoing Scrooge’s first apperance. Damn fine stuff. 

2. Escape from The Impossbin Only one episode not only matches Last Crash in mounting tension and atmosphere but suprasses it. With FOWL and Bradford’s true nature now out in the wind, this episode uses that to create tension and rattles it’s two most unshakable characters: SCrooge’s normal boundless confidence is shot, not sure he can win this time against an opponent who knows him as well as he knows himself while Beakly slowly unravels, pitting Webby against the boys.. and pitting herself against Webby when Webby sees her terroizing them is only dividing them. Both plots start out funny enough but slowly escalate in tension and stakes until by the end your on the edge of your seat. The Beakly plot is the standout of the two, giving Bentina the starring role she badly needed, having gotten even better in light of the finale. Everyone is at the top of their game and everything builds up to one hell of a twist ending and one hell of a badass boast from our heroes: Their down.. but their far from out and this is far from over. 

1. Nightmare On Kimotor Hill!

I”ll be reviewing this episode in full later this week as part of my Lena retrospective, but I stand by putting it up top. This episode is ducktales in it’s purest form and focuses on it’s best original character as Lena grapples with her self hatred and her past. That core helps anchor an amazing concept: going into the Kid’s dreams and finding out their greatest desires. The results.. are all gloriously rediclous and are easily the best gags of hte series as a whole: Dewey’s high school musical santa claus is going ot high school nonsense from getting a’s in Dewology to running away from the abstract concept of a love intrest, to not getting the sybolism of himself crying a moon made of his own tears. Louie quite literally becoming garfield, and my faviorite scene of the show: Huey, wanting to be the tall older brother..g iving himself horrifcly long leg. While everyone else is just understandably baffled, what makes the scene is the banter between Dewey and Huey, with Schwartz and Pudi at their best as Dewey first freaks out and then asks what the hell man, while Huey defends his weird decision (”I”m not good at imagination stuff okay!”), and then tries to get a jar of pickles. Each dream is just so oddly and wonderfully specific to each kid and each one of the triplests dreams, as well as violets being color coded down tot he backgrounds is a very nice touch. The visuals here are just peak ducktales, using the setting for all it’s worth and the climax is utterly emotoinal and heartbreaking... and Lena’s break from her abuser, finally realizing she has the power now is not only a wonderful metaphor... but also just so damn cathartic. And that’s why this one’s the best to me personally: it just packs so much into 20 minutes: some of the series best and most creative jokes, a gripping emtoinal arc, and so much more. It’s just that damn good and tha’ts why it’s the best... that and starting Huelet for me. Seriously that LIbrary scene is so fucking cute. 

Thank you all for reading. If you liked this artcle, join my patreon and help me get to my stretch goal for monthly darkwing duck reviews, a review of super ducktales and more after! Until the next rainbow... it’s been a pleasure. 

[five-rivers]

Long Night in the Valley chapter 14

“It’s Bakugo.”

“Old Bakugo,” said Todoroki.

“I don’t know,” said Uraraka. “He hasn’t sworn at us yet.”

“Wish fulfillment old Bakugo,” corrected Todoroki.

First contact, said two voices. Aizawa could recognize one as belonging to Two.

“Stop comparing me to the exploding brat,” snapped Two. He returned his attention to Midoriya. “I don’t agree with your philosophy,” he said. “But this isn’t the time or the place.”

Midoriya nodded even as he swayed in place, the edges of his body fuzzy.

“Your idea will work. Eight can take him.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Aizawa.

“Nine here just ran into that fire user.”

“Dabi,” supplied Midoriya, voice thin. “Thank you for letting me use your quirk, sensei.”

“Anytime,” said Aizawa.

“Is there anything we can do?” asked Uraraka.

“Stay back and don’t distract him,” said Two. “I’d send you on ahead to One, but I need to give him my power if he wants his ridiculous escape plan to work.” He crossed his arms. “Focus, Nine.”

.

The thing was, Dabi relied on his quirk to the exclusion of everything else. Which was fine. It was a powerful quirk, and his body really wasn’t up to quirkless fighting, seeing as it was literally stapled together.

But there was a reason he had not faced Aizawa himself in the training camp, but instead had delegated that task to one of Twice’s duplicates. No matter how much his quirk hurt him, no matter how much it reminded him of that man and that time, he did not fare well in fights without it.

Toshinori and Izuku had picked up on this, and, thanks to the joys of partial telepathy and haunted quirks, had managed to come up with a plan.

It was, if Izuku was being honest, a sort of terrible plan, but Izuku and Toshinori were both injured and exhausted, and it was the best they could come up with.

Izuku would hang back and cancel Dabi’s quirk, while Toshinori beat him to a pulp.

This division of labor was decided upon through the observation that Toshinori had much greater experience in beating people to pulp and that Izuku probably wouldn’t be able to focus on using Aizawa’s quirk and fighting at the same time. But Izuku worried. Toshinori had been under so much strain today. His body was in just as bad a shape as Dabi’s. If Izuku blinked.

So don’t blink.

What a comforting consensus from the peanut gallery in the back of his head.

Nana chuckled, but she sounded strained. Not much else we can do for you right now, kid.

.

Toshinori was prepared to fight dirty.

As a hero and Symbol of Peace, he was often faced with the expectation that his fights be clean, straightforward affairs. Usually, he complied with the expectation. Few people could match his strength. Few enemies stood up again or kept fighting after he knocked them back, once. For those enemies who could match him, relatively clean fights were often still the best option to defeat them.

But there had always been exceptions, All for One being chief among them.

Toshinori could fight dirty. It was a skill he knew better than to let lapse.

He knew how much old injuries could hurt, and he had no scruple against going after them. Any weak point was fair game.

(This wasn’t even beginning to mention the others, still whispering in the back of his mind, who had maintained the thin line between the light of hope and the darkness of despair for so many years.)

His fist impacted the line of Dabi’s medical staples. Toshinori felt them bite into his knuckles, felt Dabi’s skin tear around them.

The man – the boy, really, he couldn’t be more than a handful of years older than Izuku – reeled back, shaking his hands as if he couldn’t quite believe his quirk was gone. Then he looked up, at Izuku, and Toshinori could give him this, at least: He caught on fast.

He snapped an arm out, clotheslining Dabi before he could pass him and attack Izuku. Dabi hit the ground, and Toshinori tried to follow up his advantage with a sharp kick to the head.

But, even with as much experience as Toshinori had, Dabi was younger and sprier. He recovered quickly, retaliating with comparatively clumsy but strong fists.

Toshinori was very aware of the time limit he was on. How long had Izuku kept his eyes open already? Aizawa could only keep his version of the quirk going for a few minutes.

He knew when Izuku started to waver, the concern of the past users going clear and sharp in the back of his head.

Dabi’s hands burst into flame.

“Touya!”shouted Izuku.

The man whipped his head around, apparently forgetting that Toshinori was even there.

“We saw your hair dye, you drama queen!”

Toshinori grabbed the sides of Dabi’s head, and tried to slam it into his knee, but Dabi pulled free. They were both breathing heavily, now, but Izuku had his eyes back open and fixed on Dabi.

Toshinori doubted they’d be so lucky to distract Dabi again. The others slid into place in his mind, their experience neatly complimenting his own. They needed to finish it before Izuku had to blink again.

They raised their fists.

“Visit your mom, you loser!”

They closed in.

“At least tell the police what happened to you, so they can get your siblings out!”

.

So, it turned out Izuku did have something else to contribute to the fight.

.

“Please repeat what you told me earlier,” ordered the HPSC president.

The hapless liaison with the DNA testing center flinched, then hid the flinch behind a cough. “Well,” he said, “our technicians ran Midoriya’s DNA through a number of databases, and Midoriya is related to the Scourge of Kamino, but, uh, I think it best if I let her explain the rest.” He stepped out of view of the camera, the coward.

The technician waved at the camera. “Hi, uh. So, I guess the first weird thing about the sample you gave me was how contaminated it was. There were, like, almost a dozen different people’s worth of DNA in the sample you gave me, which… usually Hawks is better than that? But then I remembered the nomu DNA, and the Scourge’s DNA, so in retrospect… Anyway, I sort of ran them all through our databases—”

“Which databases?” interrupted Mr. Brave. “The commission ones, the police ones, the public ancestry ones?”

“All of them,” said the technician. “I ran them through the old ones, too, because the Scourge of Kamino is supposed to be over a hundred years old, isn’t he? I’m kind of surprised he wasn’t run through the old databases himself earlier. You could have closed dozens of cases.”

“Get on with it,” hissed the offscreen commission liaison.

“But I ran them through, and, uh, one was All Might.”

A whisper ran through the room. “He stole All Might’s quirk?” asked one hero, traumatized.

“I don’t know,” said the technician, nervously. “I mean, All Might was there, so it could have just been contaminated in the normal way, but… No, I’ll come back to All Might’s DNA in a bit. Then there were three other heroes’ DNA, Skyrunner, Fidelity, and Lariat.”

“We’ll have to assume he has their quirks, too,” said the commission president grimly, for the benefit of the assembled heroes. “Continue.”

“Another matched to the vigilante Forewarning. Then one matched to what was labeled as a 99% surety DNA sequence from Tempest.”

“My god,” said Mr. Brave.

“Then there were some sequences that matched to samples taken from the scenes of various crimes and terrorist actions but are otherwise unknown. That left two DNA samples that could be Midoriya’s assuming he isn’t over a hundred years old. They both matched as relatives to the Scourge of Kamino.”

“What kind of relatives?”

“Uh, one was rather distant, and was actually had the least DNA present out of all the other strands… The closest possible relation would be half-brother, although cousins might be possible… The other was a parent-child relationship, and the most present DNA sequence, so I would assume that one belonged to Midoriya. The thing is…” She trailed off.

“We don’t have all day.”

“The thing is, all of the different people I’ve mentioned also are related to the Scourge of Kamino.”

Silence.

“Excuse me,” said Mt. Lady, raising a hand. “Did you say all of them? Like, including—”

“Including All Might, yes, though he’s probably more like a great-grandson or something along those lines,” said the technician. “Once you get more than a generation or two, it’s hard to tell, because the ratios of what you get from grandparents aren’t even…”

“Do you have anything more to add?”

“Yeah. After running them through the databases… Well, there are dozens of active heroes that are at least loosely related to either them or the Scourge of Kamino, not to mention villains, common criminals, and civilians who had to register their DNA for one reason or another. And the ShiHi cell line? The one that replaced the HeLa line in almost every drug trial after the quirked population got majority status? That’s a perfect match.” She laughed, clearly on the edge of hysteria. “I mean, I don’t know what we expected. He’s over a century old, of course he’s going to have kids and family members. And he’s – And he’s clearly into shady medical research. Wouldn’t put it past him to have donated to sperm banks, the sick—”

The commission president muted the technician. “You see,” he told the heroes, “why we must act to contain and neutralize Midoriya Izuku as a threat as soon as possible. So many heroes being related to an archvillain like the Scourge of Kamino would damage confidence in the hero system, perhaps irreparably.”

“Are any of us-?”

“I don’t think that’s relevant right now, do you?” asked the commission president, smoothly. “What is relevant is ensuring that Midoriya’s DNA family tree never gets into public hands.” He fell quiet, scanning the heroes with dark eyes. “Regardless of whether or not any of you could find yourselves in it, the fact of the matter is that the ensuing investigations would lay bare other things you may not wish to come to light.” He cleared his throat. “Now, Hawks is putting together a team to track down the League of Villains. In light of recent revelations, we believe they have been working closely with Midoriya…”

.

“Maybe you can use my quirk,” said Shouto. “If you’re fighting Dabi, ice would be the perfect counter.”

Midoriya shook his head. “You’re not related. Can’t.”

“What?”

Two sighed. “The trick he did with your teacher’s quirk only works on people related to him.”

Shouto blinked, then turned to look at Aizawa. “Sensei—”

“Absolutely not,” said Iida, loudly.

“You don’t know what I was going to say,” protested Shouto.

“You can’t ask people if they have secret love children! It’s improper! Let us simply wait quietly like, ah, I’m not sure we caught your name earlier, sir.”

“No, you didn’t,” said Two.

“In any case, let us wait quietly,” said Iida, not one to be easily put out.

“I’m related to Midoriya?” asked Aizawa in tones approaching despair.

“You are,” said Two. “I think you’re related to one of my younger siblings, like Six is. Possibly to the Shimuras, as well, given the secondary portion of your quirk.”

“So,” said Shouto, the gears in his brain turning, “Midoriya is related to all of you?”

“Some more distantly than others, but, yes.”

“So, he based you off relatives and people he knew in real life.”

Two sighed heavily. “Look. That was obviously a lie. Six only bothered with it because of that government bastard that’s crawling around.”

Midoriya had been right. Shouto’s conspiracy theories could be used as an interrogation technique.

“Then what’s the truth?” asked Shouto. “Or are you just embarrassed, like Midoriya is about how All Might is clearly his father?”

Midoriya made a very distressed sound, and Shouto realized that maybe this wasn’t the time.

“You have no room to talk when the pyromaniac currently trying to roast Eight is your older brother, you peppermint styled weirdo.”

“You really are like Bakugo.”

“Do you have some sort of death wish?”

“C-can you guys not? This is hard…” said Midoriya. Then, he gasped and fell to his knees. “He got him. Oh, gosh.” He took a deep breath. “My eyes.”

“Luckily, you won’t need them for this,” said Two, kneeling in front of Midoriya. “In the movement, I was called Shadow Dragon. One came up with the name. He named my quirk, too. Perception Filter. Wanted to name it Chameleon Circuit for a while, but that made no sense. He was such a nerd. He’s still a nerd.”

“Yeah?” panted Midoriya. “Guess that… isn’t a surprise. He used old manga to support his arguments with—No, it doesn’t make it better that you only used that argument once. I mean, sure, I’d probably have made the same—”

“Focus, Nine,” said Two, snapping his fingers in front of Midoriya’s face.

Shouto stepped forward.

“It’s okay, Todoroki,” said Midoriya. “I’m just… How did it work? The Perception Filter?”

“No idea. We didn’t have fancy tests and doctors on hand to figure out the mechanics. But I can tell you what it did. When it first came in—” Midoriya nodded at this, as if he heard something in the sentence that Shouto was missing, “—I could disappear from the senses of one targeted person, along with anything I was carrying. Sight, hearing, smell – that last will be the important one for you.”

“Gigantomachia,” said Midoriya, nodding again.

“Exactly. Later, I was able to affect more people at a time, and my range grew. The fewer people I was hiding from, the farther I could reach, up to about a mile. Sometimes, I could draw attention towards myself, too, although I could never keep it up for long.”

“Activation?” asked Midoriya.

“Don’t think too hard about being hidden. You’re blending in. Part of the scenery. No ripples on the surface of the pond. A shadow inside a shadow.”

“Okay,” said Midoriya. “I think I’ve got it. Were you… were you ever able to hide other people with you? Otherwise…”

“Sometimes I thought I did. When Three and I worked together, we were always way luckier than we should have been, and there were some incidents with cars… But it never happened in a way I could test. Your best bet is just carrying Eight.”

“R-right. Okay. I’ll try that.”

.

“Izuku, you can barely open your eyes. Or stand up. You aren’t going to carry me.”

“But Two said—”

Toshinori frowned deeply and hoped Two got the message. “Just focus on yourself, right now, alright? Gigantomachia will be looking for you, first, not me.”

We’ve always been thankful Gigantomachia isn’t the brightest of All for One’s minions.

Even if he is one of the most annoying.

I don’t know if annoying is the word I’d use…

Toshinori blinked and shook his head. “You’re shaking,” he said.

“I’m okay,” said Izuku, trying to get up. “T’many quirks at once.”

Toshinori put his hands on Izuku’s shoulders, silently telling him to stay down. What a time to forget where he had packed the blankets… Although…

He looked back at where he’d propped Dabi, unconscious, up against a tree.

Dabi seemed to have a cold resistance vestigial mutation… although how Toshinori knew that was a mystery for another day (one probably connected with how One for All manifested in Izuku) and he was a fire quirk user. He didn’t really need that jacket. Besides, Toshinori was a villain now. Sort of. As he and Izuku had discussed earlier, villains were veritable bastions of pettiness.

He stole Dabi’s coat and wrapped it around Izuku’s shoulders.

.

Miles away, trying to coordinate heroes over a video call, Hawks lost contact with one of his feathers. Specifically, the one he’d hidden in Dabi’s coat. He did not frown, twitch, stutter, or otherwise falter. He did, however, curse internally, using words he suspected the hero commission would have like him to never have learned.

Dabi must have found the feather and destroyed it. Hawks had thought he’d hidden it better than that.

This was going to be a pain to explain.

.

Giagantomachia paused for a second, then, with a howl, redoubled his attacks.

“Can anyone tell what he’s screaming about?” demanded Tomura.

“No idea!” said Toga, her cheerfulness more than a little ragged.

“Hey, boss!” said Twice. “If I made a double of this guy, do you think they’d fight each other, or – Dear god, who in their right mind would want two of these things running around?”

“LITTLE LORD,” wailed Machia, “WHERE DID YOU GO?”

“Say, Shigaraki,” said Mr. Compress, narrowly dodging a boulder, “you don’t – ha – think he’s referring to the little green haired – er, white haired – oh, you know what I mean.”

Yeah, Tomura did, actually, which meant the brat (who might be Sensei’s brat – don’t think about it) was around here somewhere, and they’d missed him.

(Like everything else about this situation, Tomura had mixed feelings about this.)

“So, maybe, if the boy and the giant are acquainted, the mother—”

“Do all of you idiots have a death wish? You don’t fight two bosses at once unless you want to be pancaked.”

“I was thinking she could perhaps calm the giant—”

“Yeah, right before they team up to kill us. What part of this are you not getti-?”

Mr. Compress didn’t quite make the dodge and was catapulted into one of the few nearby trees that were still standing. As he lost consciousness, all of the various marbles in his pockets ballooned and broke, disgorging their contents. This meant that Tomura had to rescue Midoriya Inko from being crushed between an entire bus stop shelter (why, Compress, why?) and several logs, because if there was even a chance that she was Sensei’s wife, Tomura didn’t fancy his chances at staying alive if she was unalived in his general vicinity.

As Tomura was in no way a goody-two-shoes hero student, had never trained himself to safely save people, and had a quirk that literally destroyed everything his touched, this went far from perfectly.

At least Midoriya seemed unharmed.

“Ah,” she said. “My shirt.” She shifted slightly. “And my bra…”

There was a shout of utter rage from Gigantomachia, and Tomura contemplated just letting Machia kill him. Surely, being stomped flat by a man taller than most five story buildings would be less painful than whatever Sensei would come up with.

“Oh, my, Machia, is that you?” asked Midoriya Inko, quite calmly, as if she weren’t standing half naked in the middle of a battlefield in winter. “It’s been forever.”

“MRS. LORD!” shouted Machia, his eyes tearing up. “I AM SO SORRY! I LOST LITTLE LORD!”

“Oh, really? He was here, then?” Her eyes were glittering. “I’m sure he couldn’t have gone too far. If we walk around a bit, I’m sure he’ll hear us calling. In the meantime… perhaps you can explain to me what, exactly, you do for my husband? Your role in his business seems to have been downplayed.”

.

“Is that better?” asked Toshinori.

Izuku nodded tiredly. Despite Two’s instructions, he couldn’t keep up Perception Filter and, well, do anything else, really. Toshinori wasn’t much better. Izuku could tell, through One for All, that he was also on his last legs.

“Alright. Let’s keep going the way we were before,” said Toshinori, pulling Izuku up. “Got to get out of Gigantomachia’s range, so you can sleep.”

He did not say that reaching the Wild Wild Pussycats’ camp was now out of the question, with how beaten up they were. They’d be sleeping outside tonight. Hopefully they had enough clothes and blankets…

Izuku shuddered as the pounding sensation in his head increased.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” said Toshinori, guiding Izuku with a hand on his back. “Good, you have the briefcase, good.” Toshinori kept muttering encouragement. Izuku really wasn’t paying attention, which made him feel terrible, but he had to keep Perception Filter going. He had to keep going. Just a little bit more… Aizawa-sensei and his friends were almost to One. One would get them out before he broke through.

He just had to hold on until then.

.

Midoriya’s form flickered and then faded. Two sighed.

“Is he alright?” asked Aizawa. “Is he safe?”

“As safe as he and Eight can be, wandering through a forest filled with All for One’s minions while the government tries to track him down in the middle of winter,” replied Two. “Which isn’t very safe, speaking from experience. Come on, let’s go.” Two walked out the hole in the wall, not waiting to see if Aizawa or any of the kids followed.

“You’re calling Yagi Eight, now?” asked Aizawa.

“That’s his number, yeah. Hurry up.”

“Yagi, not Yagi’s… impression, his copy in Midoriya’s mind.” Two didn’t answer. “You aren’t impressions or copies at all, are you? You’re real people, somewhere, that Midoriya is connected to. Why pretend otherwise?”

“Some of the others thought Nine could fix things with the government, if they didn’t know what was really going on. Thought it would be ‘worth it.’ So stupid, after everything…” They walked through the compound gate and into a living room.

“It seems awfully contrived, though. Why try to be dead heroes? Why pick people like Skyrunner and Fidelity to impersonate?”

Two snorted. “They weren’t impersonating anyone. They really are Skyrunner and Fidelity. Except for Eight and Nine, we’re all dead, otherwise we would have finished this by now. Eight almost did, all on his own.”

They turned a corner. Two young children played in a bedroom while a teen watched on. One child was obviously a younger version of Two. That hair was distinctive. The other child had a short curtain of white hair. They had action figures they were playing with, although Aizawa didn’t recognize who they were of.

First contact, said a single, young voice.

The face of the teen leaning against the wall was scribbled out, as if with a marker.

“Don’t look too closely at that one,” said Two.

“Who is that?” asked Uraraka.

“All for One. I suppose you’d call him the Scourge of Kamino.”

“He’s your older brother?” asked Todoroki, his eyebrows raised into his hairline.

“Don’t be disgusting. Biologically speaking, he was my cousin.”

Oh, no, thought Aizawa, don’t tell me... “Is he the one you have locked away? The one you don’t count as being ‘among your number?’”

Two sighed again.

“Are you doing that instead of swearing?” asked Todoroki. “The sighing, I mean.”

“I told you to stop comparing me to the explosion brat! I—” Two tsked, then frowned. “Something’s not right.”

“What is it?”

“This isn’t a safe memory, just a quick one. One should have been here to pick you up by now.”

“What do you mean, it isn’t safe?” asked Iida, before Aizawa could. “No matter how immersed we are here, it is only a memory, isn’t it?”

“You did hear the part where he’s breaking in, didn’t you? And the part where we’re all real people? Are those glasses just for show?”

“The real All for One is trying to break into Midoriya’s mind,” said Aizawa.

“W-wait,” said Uraraka, “but… Izuku… That wouldn’t mean that the commission was right…”

“Of course not. Nine would probably cut off all his limbs before betraying his friends. Even if I don’t agree with him, and think he shouldn’t… I can still see that. But where is One?”

“Why are you telling us this?” asked Aizawa. “You’ve told us why the others didn’t. But you have no reason to say anything, yourself, do you?”

Two turned slightly, to gaze at Aizawa out of the corner of his eye.

“As long as we’re waiting, I might as well collect as much information as possible, right?”

“It’s insurance,” said Two, finally. “It’s hard to see how this will turn out. Eight wants to take Nine out of the country, but even if that works, All for One will still be here. Someone else needs at least part of the story.” He turned more fully to face Aizawa, lips pressed tight against his teeth. “You have to understand. I want Nine to… do well. I don’t want this on him. He’s a kid. So are you.” He looked at the students, then back at Aizawa. “You’re all kids. If I can get someone else to take care of this for him, while he and Eight are somewhere safe…”

“All for One is in Tartarus,” said Aizawa.

“You think something like that’s going to stop him? I’m not entirely sure death would stop him. It didn’t stop us, and he’s at least as stubborn.”

Well, wasn’t this an impossibly heavy weight to set on Aizawa’s shoulders.

“I have no sympathy, you lazy caterpillar lookalike. You’re an adult, aren’t you? Get help if you can’t do it yourself. If I find out you pushed it onto children, I’ll kill you.”

“Wow, he’s secretly soft, too, just like Bakugo,” said Todoroki. “Are you sure you’re not related.”

“There is legitimately something wrong with you. Do you—”

.

The hinges of the vault snapped, and the door crumpled outward. Another well-placed kick sent the door tumbling outward with a crash.

Shaking his hand, All for One stepped into the mindscape and smiled.

“Well,” he said, dragging his gaze over the assembled One for All users, his sworn enemies and the closest thing he had to family, “isn’t this a lovely little reunion?”

[calliecat93]

Callie’s Disney Princess Retrospective: The Little Mermaid

(Snow White) (Cinderella) (Sleeping Beauty)

By the time of 1989, The Walt Disney Company was in it’s Dark Age. Walt had passed, the Nine Old Men were retiring, and their films were viewed as jokes. The Dark Age tends to get what I feel is an overly harsh reputation, but that’s not what we’re here for. The cold hard truth is Disney was a shadow of its former self. Their films just weren’t getting the same praise as they once did, and now with Don Bluth gaining success, with films like An American Tale and The Land Before Time, they weren’t even the top studio anymore. Their lowest point was the colossal failure of The Black Cauldron and while films like The Great Mouse Detective earned some praise, it was just never enough. They’d start getting some steam with Who Framed Roger Rabbit? but considering that they commissioned Richard William’s studio in England over Disney’s own animation studio, it seemed that even the company itself was losing faith in their own talents.

That all changed, however, with the release of their 28th animated feature. This would be the film that changed everything. It brought Disney back into prominence after years of being laughing stocks. It would enter the animation medium into its Renaissance, a time still fondly remembered by many. And for the purposes of this series, it is the film that both resurrected and revitalized the Disney Princess franchise. All of this would be due to 1989’s The Little Mermaid.

Overview

Ariel is a mermaid, but she dreams of one day being able to be part of the human world. Always collecting whatever surface world treasures she can find, to her father’s disapproval, Ariel one day stumbles upon a ship celebrating the birthday of the handsome Prince Eric. It’s love at first sight, but as he is a human, her father King Triton reacts negatively. Hurt, Ariel goes to the sea witch Ursula, who grants her human legs at the cost of her voice. To remain human, Ariel has three days to get Eric to fall in love with her and kiss her. But Ursula has her own wicked plans for Ariel, plans that will endanger both land and sea. Will Ariel be able to get Eric to fall in love with her and become part of his world? Or will Ursula triumph?

Review

I have been waiting for this day for SO LONG. Do you want to know why I decided to do this series, to begin with? Aside from 2020 driving me to insanity? It’s because while the complaints against the Disney Princesses in general have frustrated me for as long as I can remember, there were two in particular that always made my blood boil because they made no sense. Cinderella was the first one, which I already covered. The other? Ariel. I think you all know what I’m referring to here, but let’s put a pin in it for now. We have a LOT to discuss before we get to analyzing Ariel herself. First, let's go over the film.

The film is based on the story of the same name by Hans Christian Anderson. Walt himself had actually planned it long before, but sadly was never able to make it a reality. When the directors pitched it, at first it was denied due to Disney having already releasing a mermaid film called Splash not too long ago. But it was allowed to continue to be worked on as a future project and after a great deal of tweaking, expansion, and reworking, it was approved as a feature film to come out after Oliver and Company. There were a LOT of changes from the original story. The sea witch went from neutral to the villain, characters were expanded and added, and of course the story of unrequited love that ended with the little mermaid committing suicide was thrown out all together. A lot of the story basis was still there, but Disney was taking it and making it their own arguably even moreso than with the Classic Three.

The animation is fantastic. Many of the films prior like The Rescuers and Oliver and Company, while they looked nice, had this… roughness to it. I mean they were outright recycling animation for a good while, with Robin Hood being the biggest example. But the animation here is some of the nicest, most fluid that they’ve had in quite a long time. It’s colorful, expressive, and grand in feel. This is especially true with the musical numbers. I mean Under the Sea has SO much going on, and it is a true spectacle! It’s especially prominent when Ariel is mute. Since she can’t express herself with words, the animation had to be on point so that we could still understand her thoughts and feelings. They did an amazing job. From things like her visual glee at being human when going to bed the first night, to her annoyingly blowing her bangs during the canoe ride, turning into excited glee when Eric guesses her name. It helps Ariel feel more like a three-dimensional character and illustrates everything to us that words couldn’t at that point.

The biggest animation challenge for this film would be to convincingly portray the illusion of being under water. They had to convince us that Ariel was living under the sea, and I’d say they did a pretty good job. It is no easy task and trying to describe it is… hard. But I never had any doubt that they were underwater, especially compared to the scenes that were on the surface/ just look at how Ariel's hair is constantly flowing compared to how it sits when on the surface. It’s that attention to detail that I always appreciate. The opening especially, seeing the underwater landscape thriving as we see the silhouetted merpeople until the grand reveal of King Triton’s castle. Not to mention the seashore setting of Eric’s own castle and kingdom, a perfect match for this sort of movie. As someone who loves water/seaside settings, it’s always a joy to see!

While several of these people worked on the Dark Age films, this is really the first film that allows the then-new talent of Disney to shine. The directors were John Musker and Ron Clements, who are VERY important names to the Princess line. They not only gave us Ariel but also Jasmine, Tiana, and Moana. They’ve been attached to many of Disney’s most beloved films and event cult classics like The Great Mouse Detective and Treasure Planet (both of which you should watch). You also have animators such as Glen Keane, who would go on to animate Pocahontas and Rapunzel and work on some of the future princes (The Beast and Aladdin), and Mark Henn who would animate Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas (alongside Keane), Mulan, and Tiana. They both would be the supervising animators for Ariel, and go on to have very successful careers in future productions. 

But this film also gave us what may have been the best decision that the new management ever made. For the music, they hired lyricist Howard Ashman, who chose composer Alan Menken to collaborate with him. I cannot stress enough how important these two’s contributions were for this (and the next film we’ll be discussing) production, especially the former. Ashman became very passionate about this project and was very influential on it’s direction to the point of being credited as a producer. Menken of course would go on to have a LONG, successful career as a composer on many of the Renaissance films. Many of which we’ll be touching on in this retrospective. These guys won two Oscars for The Little Mermaid for a reason.

I haven’t talked a whole lot about the music in these films outside a little bit about the main song. That’s because while not unimportant, the music didn’t really move the story along. Like Someday My Prince Will Come/ is cute, but does it really drive anything forward? Or tell us anything about Snow White that we didn’t already know from I’m Wishing? Not really. Ashman, using his stage musical experience, wanted to use that kind of styling with The Little Mermaid. To use music to add depth to both the characters and to the story. We’re all used to most Disney films being this Broadway-esque spectacle nowadays, but this film was the first to truly do so. Considering how this formula is still being used to this day, I think it’s safe to say that it was VERY successful. Again, the music won two Oscars for a reason. Heck for a LONG time, the music was all that Disney was able to win from The Academy, so that says a LOT as to how good this was.

So now that we’ve made it here, I’m going to discuss the vocal tracks individually and give my thoughts on each of the major ones:

Fathoms Below: Might be the most underrated song of the bunch. It’s in the style of a sea-shanty discussing the legends of what is below the sea. It’s a great intro to the film, letting us know right off the bat what kind of movie we are in for. I know that it sure had me invested~

Part of Your World/Reprise: I’m gonna go more into depth on the song’s meanings when we analyze Ariel, but this song is perfect. It’s the song that tells us Ariel’s wants and dreams and Jodi Benson does such a great job putting so many different emotions into it. The animators also did a fantastic job with the expressions, fully showcasing Ariel’s longing, sadness, and desperation to be part of a world that she cannot. The reprise equally does a great job showcasing her evolving revolve, going from ‘longing’ to ‘determined’. The song is fondly remembered for a reason… and it almost didn’t make it into the film. During screen testings, Jeffrey Katzenberg (the studio head at the time) wanted the sequence cut as the kid audience was ‘bored’ and ‘restless’. The directors and Ashman HEAVILY disagreed and argued back, with Glen Keane ultimately being the one to convince Katzenberg to keep the scene. Thank God for it because this adds such a strong, emotional core to both the story and to Ariel’s character and it would have taken so much away if removed. I love it~

Under the Sea: This was the number that won the Oscar. I… find it the most overrated track tbh. Not that it’s bad, FAR from it. It’s probably the best animation-wise with how much is going on. Sebastian somehow managed to conduct… all the sea life into a mass spectacle that certainly had me convinced to living under the sea. The calypso style is very fitting and fun, and Samuel E Wright sings it with so much passion. I guess that I find it overrated because I just like other songs more, but this is still a true showstopper that’s worth revisiting.

Poor Unfortunate Souls: Aside from I think Cruella DeVille (and even then Roger’s the one singing it), I think that this is the first true villain song in a Disney film. If so, then they started on a GLORIOUS note. I love this song! It was THE perfect song for Ursula. The first half with her fake reformed villain act but with this condescending air to it (Pat Carroll’s delivery with the  ‘Pathetic’ line is perfection) was already grand, but the second half? Pat Carroll just lets loose and goes utterly insane. It is AMAZING and has so much charisma to it that you can’t help but be invested. It’s also very creepy, especially in the end with Ursula's cauldron bubbling and especially how she takes Ariel’s voice. This would inspire many great villain songs in the future and to this day remains one of the all-time greats.

Les Poissons: I never thought that seeing a chef cook would be so horrifying… the song is fine. It’s a silly sequence, albeit morbid from poor Sebastian’s perspective, and Rene Auberjonois did a fantastic job despite the song being pretty short. It’s my least favorite track, mainly because it doesn’t really add or enhance anything. But it was fun… poor Senastian though XD

Kiss the Girl: The love song of the film. I love the animation for this one. I mean what’s more romantic than taking a canoe out on the lake? That’s where I’d want my first date to end! The mood is set so well with the use of shadows and once more, Sebastian is able to conduct a spectacle effortlessly. Once more Samuel E Wright does a fabulous job singing, this time with a serenade style. Even if poor Scuttle didn’t get the appreciation that he deserved. Let the seagull sing, dang it! The only thing that ruins it is the eels capsizing the canoe, jerks! But yeah a beautiful serenade that is bound to convince anyone to… well, kiss the girl XD

And that’s not even getting into Alan Menken’s score! Alan Menken is my favorite composer of all time, so I love everything that he has ever done. I still remember the opening, hearing the instrumental of Part of Your World and immediately became invested in this film. The man is an EGOT for a reason, and this is only one of the many fantastic soundtracks that we’ll be discussing in this review. He also did some additional music for the Broadway version of the film, and there’s a whole body of demo work that he and Ashman did that you can probably find on Youtube, Spotify, or whatever music streaming service you use. Listen to Ashman’s rendition of Part of Your World, you WILL be driven to tears.

So now we get to characters… and HO BOY do we have a lot. For the sake of this review we will be going over King Triton, Sebastian, Flounder, Scuttle, Ursula, Prince Eric, and as per usual Ariel will have her own section at the end.

King Triton, while not evil, serves as an antagonist early on in the film. By all appearances, Triton is a capable ruler who wields a great deal of power due to his triton. He appears just, and for the most part he is as well as a caring father. The only problem is… well, his anger issues. Triton HATES humans and the surface world. We’re never told why aside from him calling them ‘fish-eaters’ (the DTV prequel suggests it’s due to the death of his wife, but the canonicity is debatable), but considering that his youngest daughter’s greatest passion is learning about the surface world… yeah. Needless to say, they have issues between them. But he is otherwise loving and was even excited that Ariel may have found love until he found out about their species. With how overprotective he is, that was a nice subversion despite how brief it was.

Triton often gets the ‘abusive’ label thrown against him and while I do think that that’s a little too strong, there is no denying that his hatred and anger affects Ariel emotionally. He may have seen destroying Ariel’s grotto as for her own good and is likely the culmination of however long Ariel’s been going to the surface finally boiling over. But to do this right in front of her when she is begging him to stop and outright ridiculing her for saving Eric’s life… yeah. It’s… it’s a horrifying scene that does NOT make Triton look good and is what pushes Ariel into seeing Ursula. It doesn’t matter the reason, destroying your children’s things is something that WILL scar them emotionally. To be far, the moment Ariel breaks down Triton clearly realizes that he crossed the line, but he just leaves because… yeah there was NO WAY that they were reaching a reconciliation at that moment.

Triton has a lot of issues, but the reason I don’t call him abusive and like him as a character is because after the grotto scene, he was clearly remorseful. After Ariel goes missing, he outright says ‘What have I done?” and his demeanor expresses a lot of remorse. If that wasn’t enough, I think that him both selling his soul to free Ariel AND turning her human after realizing how much she loved Eric more than showed that he has learned his lesson. Triton had to learn to allow Ariel to grow up and choose her own direction in life, even if he didn’t like said direction. It’s very relatable to how some parents struggle to let go of their children as they grow up. My only real complaint is, as I said, we don’t know why Triton hates humans so much. If we did and saw him work through it, it may have helped us understand why he was so against Ariel’s passions and not come off as needlessly cruel as he did. Nevertheless, he realized his wrongs and made it right. His hug with Ariel at the end is one that gets me every time.

The sidekicks of the film are Flounder, Scuttle, and Sebastian. IDK why they named Flounder Flounder because he isn’t… well, a flounder. He looks like some kind of tropical fish. Flounder is kind of the kid appeal character, even being voiced by a child in all incarnations except Return to the Sea since he had grown up. He is Ariel’s best friend who goes with her on her adventures, despite almost always being easily frightened. He’s well-meaning, but can cause more trouble like when he accidentally exposed Ariel’s excursion during the concert. But he’s also a sweet little guy and very loyal to Ariel. The kid outright went out of his way to somehow recover the Eric statue, which is ten times his size, and deliver it to her grotto to make her happy. That is friendship. He doesn’t really develop, but he’s a nice supporting character.

Scuttle is… well, dumb. But a fun dumb. He’s a surface creature and thus has more knowledge about surface world items than Ariel does… except he doesn’t. He’s not smart, but they manage to keep him entertaining because he’s so sure that he knows what he’s talking about. Imo, dinglehoppers are a MUCH better name for forks than forks, dang it! He tries to help, like it was his idea to try the serenade during the canoe ride… too bad that he can’t hold a note. Poor bird tried. They also DO allow him to be useful at the end, discovering that Ursula had tricked Eric and he amassed one heck of an army to humiliate her long enough for Ariel to reach the ship. It is one of the funniest AND most awesome moments in the whole film. Scuttle is just fun comedic relief who doesn’t overstay his welcome and his VA Buddy Hackett did such a great job~

But if there’s any character aside from Ariel that we remember from this film, it’s Sebastian. This Jamaican crab is the royal musical conductor and Triton’s advisor. He’s often the one who has to watch over Ariel, which clearly frustrates him on multiple occasions. Tbh, Sebastian probably has the most character development in the film. In the beginning, while understandably upset that Ariel being a no-show ruined his conducting debut (though tbf… NO ONE bothered to make sure she was in place? Really?), he’s mainly upset that /he/ looked bad. After the storm, he’s more concerned about getting into trouble with Triton than about Ariel herself. He knows how much the human world means to her, and while one can argue that Ariel /should/ be more aware of how her actions affect others, Sebastian isn’t much better. He only discourages her to save his own shell, not for her own good. Which eventually leads to him breaking and exposing what happened during the storm when he should know damn well that Triton will explode. Yeah it was because he misunderstood, but still.

However, Sebastian isn’t a bad crab. After the grotto's destruction, he immediately feels guilty and tries to apologize to Ariel, but she angrily dismisses him. He tries to convince Ariel to not go to Ursula, but as she’s still upset she bitterly brushes him off and tells him to get her father since he’s good at that. He therefore follows with only Flounder and at first, panics after Ariel is human. It’s understandable because… yeah, that’s bad. His first reaction is to get Triton to fix this, with Ariel trying to stop him. Once he sees the heartbroken look on her face, Sebastian realizes just how miserable Ariel would be back home. At this point, it's reasonable to assume that Triton will only be stricter about letting her have her ventures, and thus she’d be stuck in an unhappy life. This, along with the situation at least being partially his fault, convinces Sebastian to hold off and help Ariel win Eric over. Which he certainly tries his best. 

One of my favorite scenes is Ariel going to bed and being so excited to experience these new things as Sebastian tries to advise her on getting Eric to kiss her. But he stops when he sees that Ariel has fallen asleep with the biggest smile on her face, and he just affectionately calls her a ‘hopeless child’. The affection in his expressions and Samuel E Wright’s delivery is just so sincere and it really shows that for all his bluster, Sebastian does care for Ariel. The crab is also a seriously talented conductor. Like I said, he put together both Under the Sea AND Kiss the Girl in zero time and they’re both amazing numbers because of it. He really tries hard to help Ariel and once Ursula strikes again, he decides it’s finally been long enough and gets King Triton. Sure that doesn’t go well, but at that point it was absolutely the right call. He also helps fight off Flotsam and Jetsam, willing to put himself in harm’s way to help both Ariel and Eric. 

Sebastian became a much more understanding, more selfless crab over the course of the film, realizing that he needs to care less about saving his own skin and to understand why Ariel does what she does. It’s especially notable at the end. In the beginning, he advised Triton to keep a firm grip on Ariel when he asks if he was too harsh. At the end? He advises him that children have to be free to lead their own lives, which is what convinces Triton to grant Ariel legs. It’s a really nice character arc and this along with Sebastian’s two spectacular musical numbers leaves no question as to why he’s so beloved.

But what’s a great film without a great villain? For that we get one of the best, Ursula the Sea Witch. She is a fantastic villainess. She’s a large octopus woman who used to work in the palace, but for reasons unknown got banished. In early versions, she was going to be Triton’s sister which would have added a VERY twisted dynamic to the whole thing. Maybe that’s where they got the idea for Scar in The Lion King… anyways! Her design was based on Drag Queen Divine who was also going to be the VA for Ursula, but she sadly passed away of an enlarged heart before any recording to be done. After going through various performers, the production staff settled on actress Pat Carroll, who did a spectacular job. You can just tell that she is loving every single second of this role, and she has always happily returned whenever they need new Ursula material like in House of Mouse or in the parks. Just listen as she goes off the chain in Poor Unfortunate Souls that is some amazing acting.

Ursula is confident, manipulative, and a true actress. Her entire gimmick is manipulating vulnerable, insecure people into making deals with her. Deals that are pretty much impossible to keep and thus, she claims them as hers and adds them to her ‘garden’. She targets Ariel specifically because of her passion for the surface world and since she likely knows of Triton’s hatred for it AND of his anger problems, she’s just waiting for the day he screws up and Ariel is vulnerable. I’m gonna go MUCH more in depth with this when we get to Ariel, but this is SO important to note. Ursula struck when Ariel was hurt, emotional, and not thinking straight. It shows just how manipulative she can be. This is who she preys on. She knows how to sway them to act how she wants them to. She’s a saleswoman, and BOY does she sell it. It doesn't help that she gives Ariel very little personal space and manipulates her feelings for Eric to be further swayed. Yet Ariel is the stupid one because she was manipulated by a master manipulator… patience Callie, you’re gonna be able to let it out soon enough…

Ursula works so well as a villain because of how smart and manipulative she is. Like I said, she knows how to prey on the vulnerable and insecure. But she also knows when to get herself involved. After Ariel almost kisses Eric on the second day, Ursula disguises herself and uses Ariel’s voice to hypnotize Eric. And even though Scuttle and his undersea army humiliate her and Ariel gets her voice back, she bought just enough time for the sun to set and the spell breaks. Ursula won. She captured Ariel, forced Triton to sell himself to save his daughter, and claimed ultimate power. It was a truly methodical plan that ultimately succeeded. You gotta give her props for that.

Don’t make any mistakes though. While Ursula is intelligent and confident, she /is/ still evil. I’ve seen people say that she should have won just because they don’t like the ‘abusive tyrant’ Triton. Aside from what I already said about Triton above, Ursula is shown to be far, FAR worse. I mean… I hate to use the term, but she essentially s***-shames Ariel throughout Poor Unfortunate Souls. I mean she outright calls her a ‘little tramp’ after the canoe scene, which in this context is a G-Rated way of calling her a s***. To a sixteen year old. Yeah… plus we saw how power-mad she went once she got the triton, and it didn’t bode well for either land or sea. Triton’s temperamental, but he isn’t a tyrant. Ursula’s only redeeming trait is that she DOES care for her henchmen Flotsam and Jetsam, and their death at Ariel’s hand is what provoked her to go mad with power. This was ultimately her undoing as she was so focused on tormenting Ariel that it allowed Eric to take his ship and kill her. It’s a pretty gruesome Disney Villain Death (we outright see her SKELETON FLASHING at one point), but she brought it upon herself.

If you asked me what villain helped shape many of the ones we got during the Renaissance… I’d say Professor Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective. But Ursula was the first Renaissance villain, and she started it off right. She’s enjoyable enough that we love it when she’s on screen, but still detestable enough that we want her to lose. Many complain about doing ‘purely evil’ villains. That villains HAVE to be sympathetic or nuanced, otherwise they are poorly written. While there’s nothing wrong with sympathetic, or even redeemable villains, having a purely evil one is also perfectly fine. Disney is the master of this. Ursula’s motivation is strictly to gain power, but it works because they give her character so much personality and charisma. Petty motivation, but excellent character writing that makes us not mind. I’d say if you want to learn how to do a Pure Evil character right, study Ursula in particular along with Jafar and Hades. They’re all great examples of how to do it right.

Finally we come to our leading man, Prince Eric. So far the Disney Princes have acted more as a necessity than anything. It’s as I said in the Sleeping Beauty Review, Florian and Charming fill out a plot point and while he was more proactive in comparison, Phillip fell into the same trap. Did Eric finally break the curse? Well… yes and no. He's a firm middle ground between ‘necessity’ and ‘actual character’. He’s allowed FAR more than any of the other princes thus far. Eric is a seasman, he loves going out on the ocean in his ships. He’s adventurous, good-looking, and an overall nice guy. We see that he isn’t really into fancy stuff, outright cringing when Grimsby unveils the statue. He also isn’t interested in Grimsby trying to set him up with various noble women. Like Jasmine and to a degree Prince Charming, he wants to find love for love, but on his own time. These are the traits that attract Ariel to him. Plus he’s also heroic, going back to a BURNING SHIP in order to save his dog Max… yeah I’d fall in love with him too.

After Ariel saves him, Eric becomes determined to find her. But he only briefly saw her face and heard her voice. Funny how NO ONE gets on Eric for this while hating on Ariel, but again we’ll get to that soon enough. When he meets Ariel he recognizes her face… but since she can’t talk, assumes that she can’t be the mystery girl. Still, being a good person, he takes her back to the palace to give her shelter. It’s not long before he becomes endeared by her though. She’s pretty, sweet, and even though she can’t talk he has a good time showing her around the kingdom. It's so clear by /Kiss the Girl/ that he has fallen for her, to the point that even Grimsby points it out to him. It gets him to give up on the mystery girl which is VERY important. It shows us that Eric didn’t fall for Ariel because she happened to be the girl he was looking for, but because of who she is as a person. It shows the audience that his feelings are genuine which makes us further root for him and Ariel… too bad that Ursula goes and ruins it.

As far as personality goes, Eric is more fun than his predecessors, but he’s still stuck with the standard prince-like personality. He’s given more lines than all of them combined and has a real charm to him. You can see why Ariel would like a guy like him. He’s kind, fun, adventurous, and even a little rebellious. He is her ideal vision of what humans are like. The end of the film lets him prove himself as well, going out to help Ariel despite the danger and of course using his own ship to kill Ursula. It does cause Ariel to be a bit of a Damsel in Distress, but she DID save him much earlier and she stops Ursula from blasting him to smithereens, so it balances out. It was enough to prove himself to Triton, at least. So Eric is a nice step up as far as princes go, but we’re not quite out of the well with them yet. But it won’t be much longer, heehee XD

There’s other supporting characters that I really don't have much to say about. Ariel’s sisters are nicely designed, but ultimately bland. I think the series and Ariel’s Beginning did more with them, but otherwise there’s not anything to discuss. Grimsby is fine enough, being the closest thing that Eric has to a parental figure (where ARE Eric’s parents in all of this anyways?) and is stuffy, but otherwise a decent guy. Chef Louie is… crazy. That’s all that I can say. This film has a lot of characters, let’s put it that way. But of course, we have one more to go over. The titular little mermaid herself. I’ve been hinting at this throughout the review, so I think you all know exactly how this will go…

Ariel Analysis

I cannot stress enough how massive a step Ariel was for the Disney Princess line. As much as I have defended the Classic Three and standby all of that, there is certainly some repetition going one with them. All three are beautiful, passive, and can’t directly do much to accomplish their dreams. And at least two of them are dreaming mainly about a man, which is NOT a bad thing, but it was certainly getting old. Feminism has also been evolving since 1959, the last time a Disney Princess film came out. A lot had changed in those thirty years. Women in media could now be more proactive, take matters into their own hands, and have their own hopes and dreams that weren’t just about love while still being allowed to find love. Simply put, as much as I love Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora, the times had changed and it was time for Disney to get with those times. Thus we got Ariel, and she was exactly the right princess to take the line into a whole new direction.

The beginning of the film is a pretty clever way to set her up. The Classic Three are known for being angelic singers, and for good reason. It’s pretty much the first thing they do when we meet them (well, as an adult in Aurora’s case) so the concert sets this up. It’s Ariel’s ‘debut” and her sisters all have the looks and angelic voices that fit the archetypal Disney Princess. But then the shell opens up… and is empty. Then we cut to Ariel, who is about to go inside a sunken ship to look for surface world artifacts. It is an excellent subversion, setting up a Classic Princess move and flipping it on it’s head. It’s shown very quickly that Ariel is adventurous and actively seeking out her dreams despite her situation instead of trying to just make do with the way things were and hoping for the best. We also get a fun sequence of her and Flounder escaping a shark, so first time a Princess got an action scene as well.

The film very quickly establishes Ariel’s love and fascination with the surface world. Exploring sunken ships, going to Scuttle to get more information, later we see her grotto that is filled with so many items that we would consider standard, but that she considers treasures. These mean so much to her. She finds the surface world ‘wonderful’. But there are setbacks and consequences for her actions, in this case her forgetting about the concert. She didn't mean to and feels bad about it, and Flounder mentioning the reason why didn’t help. It’s clear that Ariel and Triton have been arguing about this for a long time, the latter failing to understand how much this means to Ariel and is at his wit’s end. His demands for her to stop upset her, causing her to storm out of the throne room and head for her grotto.

This leads to Part of Your World. This song/sequence is vital to understand Ariel’s character. This is the song where she expresses all her hopes and dreams. How she wants to be human. How she wants to learn more about the surface world. How she wants to experience things like walking down a street or finding out how a fire can burn. Throughout the film, we never learn how Ariel got so interested in human culture and just why she’s so passionate about it. But we really don’t need an in-depth explanation because this song conveys so much sincerity and emotion that it makes us believe in her passion. We understand how much this matters to her, and in turn it makes it matter to us. It’s why if it had gotten removed, it would have robbed Ariel of this depth and in turn, rob the film of something essential to its story. Thank God it remained intact.

This is a good time to talk about Ariel’s voice actress, Jodi Benson. Having originally been in Howard Ashman’s failed musical Smile, she was brought in originally as Ariel’s singing voice before being promoted to also doing the speaking the lines. This was not only her voice acting debut, but as far as I can tell her film debut as well. She did such a lovely job in the role. She perfectly conveys Ariel’s passion, drive, and sincerity while still coming off as a sixteen year old girl. Her singing voice has been rightfully praised, and to this day Ariel is often considered the best singer among the princesses. Benson has gone on to do other voice roles such as Barbie in the Toy Story films, Patsy and Ms. Doe in Camp Lazlo, and Aquagirl in Batman Beyond. She has continued to reprise Ariel to this day when needed and has always expressed so much love and gratitude for the film and her part in it, She’s also supported others who have done the role like Auli’i Cravallho (aka Moana) for the ABC Musical and Halle Bailey for the upcoming live-action remake. She’s a lovely woman and may she continue to do well~

Going back to the film, Ariel finds herself at a ship and this is where she sees Eric for the first time. It’s love at first sight. Of the Renaissance Era Princesses, Ariel is the one who gets the ‘love at first sight’ critique levied at her the most. Belle and Mulan of course didn’t have that issue and I usually see Jasmine and Pocahontas be given a free pass in this regard. Now of the five, The Little Mermaid IS the most blatant with the trope, but let’s look at it through Ariel’s POV. This is the first time that she’s seen so many humans up close. Eric is around her age (to my knowledge, at least. His VA was 16 at the time IIRC). It is very quickly established that Eric is jovial, uninterested in things like statues in his image, rebellious as he has rejected all the women Grimsby has arranged him with, and wants to find love for himself. He has many of the traits that Ariel herself has, being a rebellious, free-spirit teen herself. But most of all he is heroic, as demonstrated when he goes back to his burning ship to save his dog.

In other words, Eric is Ariel’s ideal vision of what people are like. She saves him from drowning, the first time that a Princess has saved her Prince, and is able to look at him more closely. She is clearly infatuated and seeing this man, this good-hearted, handsome young man who is everything that she ever dreamed of. This is what pushes her from just dreaming about being human to swearing that somehow she /will/ be human. Yes, she gets motivated by love, but the goal was there before this moment. It just became a solidified goal. One that she is going to make a reality someway, somehow. She even notes in the Part of Your World Reprise that she doesn’t know when or how, but it doesn’t matter. Compared to how fleeting her hopes were in the main song, the reprise is so much more triumphant and determined and continues to show just how important this truly is to Ariel.

Sadly however she still has one obstacle in between her and her dream; her father. The next day she is so happy and lovesick and it’s really cute, but Sebastian knows that this is going to cause major issues with her father. His big Under the Sea plea goes ignored, and Ariel is led to her grotto by Flounder, who has brought her the Eric statue. She’s so happy and acting like… well, a teenager in love. But unfortunately due to Sebastian jumping the gun, Triton finds out and he is enraged. Not only is he angry that Ariel again went to the surface, but she both saved and fell in love with a human. Thus we get the dark scene of Triton, in his rage, destroying the grotto. Every item, treasure, and relic that Ariel has gathered for who knows how long has become nothing but a pile of dust. Including the statue of the man she loves. 

Say what you want about ‘love at first sight’ or Ariel being a lovesick dummy, but this is outright traumatizing. This sixteen year old girl, a girl who aside from forgetting a few engagements has done nothing wrong, had all of her hopes and dreams shattered by her own father all because of his own blind hatred. Imagine being a teenager and your parents destroying everything you love all because they hated something that you loved. Even if Triton regretted it, it doesn’t change the pain that he inflicted upon his own daughter as she breaks down. She’s so upset that she rejects Sebastian trying to apologize and just tells him and Flounder to go away. They comply, leaving Ariel to cry in her now bare grotto… that is, until Flotsam and Jetsam appear.

So.. let’s now talk about Ariel going to Ursula and accepting the deal. First, her going in the first place. When Flotsam and Jetsam bring Ursula up, Ariel… /refuses/ to go. She is aware that Ursula is bad news. She had no intention of going to her at first and outright tells the eels to leave. What makes her agree? The two knocking the remains of the Eric statue in front of her. At this point, Ariel’s pretty much been rejected by her father and all of her treasures that kept her seabound are gone, so… what’s she got left to lose? She follows and naturally Sebastian tries to stop her, but she just angrily tells him to get her father since he’s good at that.

Ariel enters Ursula’s domain, and we come to the scene. Ursula declares to have changed, demonstrates her power, and offers Ariel the deal to become human for three days and it’ll be permanent if Eric kisses her. If Ariel fails, she not only becomes a mermaid again, but she belongs to Ursula. She also has to give up her voice as payment. Now we all know the big criticism against this, that being Ariel selling her voice and leaving behind her family and all that she ever knew and loved… for some prince that she hasn’t even really met yet, let alone spoken to. Now do I see why people dislike this? Yes. It’s a very rash, very stupid decision not just for those factors, but the fact that Ariel is essentially selling herself to the devil for this one thing. None of this is a good thing… but here is the big question, does the film do enough that this makes sense for Ariel’s character? Is this something that I can see her doing?

Yes, yes I can.

Let’s look at this piece by piece. First, Ariel is clearly uncomfortable the entire time that she is in Ursula’s lair. Ursula continuously gets into her personal space, laying on the manipulation at every step. When she lays out the deal, Ariel is at first hesitant. She herself brings up that if she takes it, she’ll likely never see her family again. She’s also hesitant when Ursula lays out the terms of payment, not just because she has no idea how she’d woo Eric without it, but just the concept of losing her voice clearly unnerves her. Look at her face when she grabs at her own throat, she is NOT okay with this. Even when Ursula begins to create the brew and poof sup the contract, Ariel isn’t excited or just jumps to it without thinking. She is VERY CLEARLY hesitant and unnerved about everything. 

So… why does she do it then? Well remember, she’s still emotional after her confrontation with her father. Her father has rejected her in her eyes and destroyed everything that she had worked for. At this point, her dreams and feelings for Eric are all that she has. She is hurt, emotional, and desperate and when we are hurt, emotional, and desperate we tend to make rash, even outright stupid decisions. Especially when we’re teenagers. Ursula waited to strike at this very moment for this exact reason; so that Ariel wouldn’t be thinking rationally.  These are the exact kind of people that Ursula preys on, and as I said above, she knows how to manipulate them to act how she wants. She gives Ariel the offer of her dreams, assures her that she can woo Eric without talking, poofs Eric’s image up at one point, and makes it clear that she’s giving her very little time to think it over. 

With absolutely nothing left to lose and it being clear that her father will never support her dreams, Ariel reluctantly signs the contract. She outright turns her head away when she signs. She KNOWS that she’s making a big choice and she isn’t 100% okay with it. She didn’t just give up her life callously for a man like some like to make out. It was a rash choice, but she had reluctance and fears about it. But it’s the only chance she’ll get to get her dream of being human and being happy, which is what ultimately drives her to make her choice. Given how she risked her life already against a shark, this is in-character for her and shows how far she’ll go for her dreams. And as we’ll see, this is going to have consequences as we near the end of the film.

So the deal is made. Ariel loses her voice and is transformed into a human. Once she makes it to shore, she gets to see her new legs, and for the first time since the confrontation, is happy. She has legs. She is human. The one thing that she had wanted for so, so long has finally come true. Naturally Sebastian wants to get Triton, but she stops him and gives him the saddest, most pleading look that I think I’ve ever seen. This is Ariel’s one and only chance to get what she dreamed of. Triton would not only stop her, but considering what happened before, who knows what else he’d do if he saw her as a human. It is 10% understandable why Ariel doesn't want him involved, especially once it would just lead her back to a life of misery. Sebastian realizes this and agrees to help her, which pretty much gets her to forgive him for what happened before.

Thus, we get to the first true meeting between Ariel and Eric. Of course, Ariel can’t explain who she is because of her voice being gone, so Eric assumes that she can’t be the same girl he saw despite her looking like her. But he sees her in the makeshift dress that Scuttle got her into and assumes that she’s shipwrecked, especially since she can’t walk well. So he takes her to the palace, and Ariel is able to get refreshed and get used to walking on legs. She is clearly delighted by everything. She is now part of the world that she longed for,, and she is loving every second of it. Sure she quickly finds out that forks aren’t combs, but hey she’s learning exactly what she wanted to learn. She is in utter bliss throughout the two days that she’s on the surface, doing thinks like learn to dance and ride a horse-drawn carriage. It’s all she ever hopes it would be.

But of course, Ariel still needs to get Eric to kiss her, or all of her dreams will end. She almost makes it with Kiss the Girl, which despite not being able to talk she made it pretty clear that she was willing and ready for Eric to kiss her. Ursula ruins that, but Ariel HAS endeared herself to Eric and he even prepares to go to her after giving up on the mystery mermaid. But of course, Ursula disguises herself as Vanessa via Ariel’s voice and hypnotizes Eric into marrying her. It’s sad because when Scuttle informs her of the proposal, Ariel is elated. She runs down the stairs, excited and gleeful… then she sees Eric and Vanessa, and you can see her heart break in two. It especially hits hard as she watches the ship take off, broken-hearted. She’s lost the man she loves, in moments she will be a mermaid again, and she will belong to Ursula fair and square. She pursued her dream, and it all seemed for naught.

But once Scuttle finds out about Ursula, Ariel quickly springs into action. With her friend's help, she reaches the ship just as Ursula’s necklace gets broken. This is a nitpick but I don’t like how Ariel ultimately wasn’t very active in helping rescuer Eric. Tbf IDK what she could have done, but I’d have liked to see her stand against Ursula before things go downhill. Otherwise it feels like this and the other events after… kind if feel handed to her by convenience and luck. But regardless she gets her voice back… but she fails to kiss Eric before the sun sets. That’s right folks, the so-called selfish, stupid deal that Ariel made? She failed to uphold it. She reverts to a Mermaid and now belongs to Ursula, and Triton can’t break it as it’s legally binding. So even if you DO think that Ariel made a bad choice, the film shows that yes, it WAS bad and she is now paying the consequences. Sure Triton sacrifices himself to take her place, but that still means that Ursula not only gets power, but her father is now a husk.

Ariel is enraged at this. Despite everything, I don’t think there’s any doubt that Ariel still loves her daddy. She was reluctant about never seeing him again before, and now seeing how her deal has lead to his fate upsets her. One big issue with Ariel is how… well, the film doesn’t make it clear that Ariel grew or learned anything. Sure there are consequences to her actions, but we don’t see her ponder over them. This is the closest we get to her showing regret as she tries to apologize to Triton and outright attacks Ursula for what she did to him. But she doesn’t express true regret for her actions. She doesn’t have a true reconciliation with her father so that the two can reach a resolution. I guess we can blame timing since we’re in the final ten or so minutes here, but it makes the end feel… convenient.

Eric saves Ariel from getting blasted by Ursula, and she manages to save him from Flotst and Jetsam. How? Bu yanking Ursula back and causing her to kill her own minions. Sure it’s not the Big Bad, but again Ariel marks a First in Disney Princess History by indirectly killing a villain. This provokes Ursula to go kaiju and essentially torment Ariel, who is unable to do anything at this point as she’s caught in a raging whirlpool. While one CAN say she’s a Damsel-in-Distress here (hence why I suggested Ariel should have gotten to do more in the wedding crash), she HAS saved Eric twice now. Plus by allowing Eric to kill Ursula, he essentially proves his worth by saving both the ocean AND the surface, and it contributes to Triton’s ultimate decision.

So yeah, Ursula dies, Triton corrects his wrongs by making Ariel human, and Ariel and Eric can live happily ever after. As I said, it /does/ kind of hurt Ariel’s character as she doesn’t really learn a lesson and it feels like she got incredibly lucky at the end. But at the same time Ariel is still a good character, and she marks a LOT of progression for the Disney Princess line. Sure she is a little selfish (though she usually means no harm), but she’s also someone who actively goes after her dreams. She doesn’t have to wait for it, nor does it center on love. Sure Eric is the catalyst, but that’s it. A catalyst. She’s allowed to rescue her prince. She’s allowed to fight against the villain. Sure she’s still emotional, falls in love, and needs her friends help. But she is also a very proactive, curious, and ambitious girl. Her dream was by far the most impossible of the Princesses thus far, but she still managed to achieve it.

Ariel is divisive, and I get why. The film DOES have some narrative problems (minor, but still) and I get why Ariel may rub some the wrong way. Me personally? I love her. She was a refreshing breath of air in the Princess line. She’s different from the Classic Three. She’s a bit more bratty and far less classy, but she also feels the most like a teenager and she follows her dreams in a very different manner. She’s still a good-hearted person, but she’s a flawed person. That’s what I love about her, she’s imperfect. Could more have been done to develop her? Maybe. But her flaws aren’t so bad that she’s a bad character or unlikeable. Her actions make sense and stay true to her character. I understand why she does what she does. I care for her because I see the sincerity in her. I relate to her longing for something that seems out of reach. And while it was nowhere near as conflicted, I know what it’s like to be in conflict with my father who loved me, but never truly understood who I was. But I loved him, he loved me, he ultimately would have let me lead the life I wanted, and in the end that’s what matters. It’s why Ariel and Triton at the wedding always makes me cry. Yeah, watching this two years after my dad passed… really hit hard.

The point is, I cared about Ariel. I related to Ariel. I did when I was a child, and I still do as an adult. Anyone who loves something or someone despite everyone around you not understanding or being against it I think can relate to Ariel and her position. Plus again, she set forward a new direction for the Disney Princesses. It’s a precedent that stands strong to this day. I’ve done my best to shed light onto Ariel, but it won’t convince everyone. If you hate her, fine. I can’t change your mind and tour free to make all the arguments you want. But I’m allowed to stand by my argument, and I am. Ariel is one of my favorites. She inspires kids to follow their curiosity and their ambitions. It teachers parents to accept their children and who/what they love, and to let them go forward in their lives. One can even argue that her film teaches kids to be careful when emotional to avoid the mistakes that she made, but still achieve a happy ending as well. Either way, I think that the hate against this little mermaid is far too harsh and it ALWAYS centers on the deal without taking anything else into account. It’s time we change that.

Final Thoughts

I love this film. The animation is lovely, the music fantastic, and despite a few issues here and there the story is sound. I don’t remember when I first saw it (it came out four years before I was born so not then), but I’ve loved it since that first time. I’m pretty sure I love the ocean and mermaids in general because of this film. Sure it diverts a good deal from the original Hans Christian Anderson story, but honestly? As someone who found that story unnecessarily cruel? I will take this version any day (no offense to those who like the original story, this is just me talking). It is a masterpiece that changed the game for Disney, for animation, and for the Disney Princesses. Ariel was very much a huge inspiration for many of her successors, and I am grateful for all that this little mermaid did.

Upon its release, Disney was FINALLY able to step into the light after spending over 20 years stuck in the dark. The film was a monumental success. The biggest success that Feature Animation had had since Walt’s days. They also finally beat Don Bluth, winning in the box office over All Dogs Go to Heaven, and returned to the top of the animation world. The Disney Renaissance had officially begun, and it wasn’t even close to slowing down. Just two years later, another Disney Princess film would be released. One that would achieve greatness, but also face great tragedy. So come and be our guest as when we return, we discuss a tale as old as time with 1991’s Beauty and the Beast.

Image Sources: Disney Wiki, Animation Screencaps Other Sources: The Making of The Little Mermaid: Treasures Untold

[namfine]

Hello All! 

It’s ~Admin Zesty~ here, and I’m sad to say I’ve been booked a one-way ticket on the departing train. I feel it’s my duty to our readers to explain why, in the hopes that those involved can learn and grow from this.

As a disclaimer, I don’t claim to speak for Umami and Fizzy; they have been cordial in taking their leave, and everything I’m about to say stems from my own observations and conclusions. A lot has come to the surface in the past 24 hours, putting together puzzle pieces that none of us knew about. I’ll get to that in a moment, but I have to say this: Umami and Fizzy have been cordial. I will not. I was asked to leave; but more on that later.

I tend to let things pass; I’m a fairly easy-going person. I’m not one to pick fights and will often let things slide, or assume I’m imagining them. I like to give my friends the benefit of the doubt, which they deserve until proven otherwise. The boiling point for me with this was a brief argument I got into with Tart right before Christmas. This was not the first time I felt like Tart was looking for a fight, which heavily contributed to the overflow that followed. I expressed my distaste at people not wearing masks in the Atlanta airport while I was sitting waiting for my flight (a photo of the airport, me = masked, captioned “I hate the South”). Tart immediately jumped on me, claiming I was “belittling the work of Black activists in Atlanta” by “generalizing the South” - the South, which I know intimately well, having been raised in the Carolinas for 16 years of my life. My wealth of experience, in addition to the physical experience I was having in that airport, was invalid in the face of Tart’s experience living in the rural Midwest- which is, of course, exactly the same as the Bible Belt. 

This may seem like a small grievance to some, but to me, it was the straw on the camel’s back. I left every server - the general discord, our private writing discord, and the Namjoon server where we all met. I work a very demanding full-time job, which is stressful enough as it is; I couldn’t allow my hobby to stress me out too. I just had to get away for my mental health, just so I could breathe. I did not unfollow or block any of the other admins on any social medias - not private DM’s on discord, Snapchat, Instagram, etc. Immediately, Fizzy and Umami reached out to ask if I was okay, and I explained that I just needed a break.

Tart reached out to apologize, and the apology seemed sincere. We reconciled, but there was no further attempt to reach out and invite me back to any of the servers. I was content to just take a break and let this go, and return to writing when I felt ready - and that’s where things remained since then, up until today. I remained in cordial contact with the other admins, apart from Tart but I did not believe there was any hostility. 

When Umami posted their departure, I noticed the post on the blog. I reached out to them, asking if they were okay, and they explained to me the circumstances surrounding their decision to leave. Many of our experiences were similar, once we starting talking. I was sympathetic to their decision, but still felt committed to taking a leave of absence and returning when the time was right. Then, as many of you have already seen, Fizzy left as well. Umami and Fizzy both made the decision to leave separately; Umami posted the same message she posted on the Tumblr and the general Discord in the private server before leaving everything without another word. After Fizzy made her decision, she reached out to me on behalf of Tart and Minty - the first I’ve heard from Tart since we reconciled, and the first I’ve heard from Minty regarding the blog at all, albeit indirectly. They asked me to announce my departure, never having bothered to check-in with me themselves, firsthand. 

All of this stems from the bigger issues at play here, which I’d like to talk about, in what detail I can. As I said before, these are my own observations and conclusions; but I think they’re important, and I’m going to make sure I’m heard. Tart and Minty both contributed to a toxic environment, and it’s only after leaving that I’ve been able to see it for what it was. It’s been building up to the point that two other admins decided to leave of their own accord, and if that doesn’t tell you the state of things, I’m not sure what will. 

Near the end, Tart stopped being supportive of not only me, but also Umami. They were so caught up in themselves that ideas pitched were blatantly ignored or outrightly criticized. They made me feel alienated a lot of the time, something I’ve come to realize was not solely my experience. They disregarded my vents while at the same time demanding attention and validation of their own, several times a day. They are possessive over Jungkook to the point where the rest of us stopped writing about him, out of fear of getting snapped at. They complained about the lack of likes or attention from followers, while also managing to complain about attention from followers. They are judgy, condescending, and belittling to others that they deem lesser - which includes me, supposedly their friend. They constantly contradict themselves in various situations, taking whatever viewpoint best enables them to start a fight. There was also a multitude of microaggressions that I only noticed the magnitude of in retrospect; but that is Umami’s story, and it’s not my place to say any more on the matter. 

Umami has told me that she will be elaborating more on this, and for those who would like to hear her side of the story, you will find it on her new blog here.

Minty is Tart’s more tactful twin. She is either oblivious to the actions of Tart or outrightly ignores them, exhibiting the same lack of support that Tart has always displayed. She’s complacent with the constant bullying and abuse of both her fellow admins and members of the blog's discord. It’s bystander apathy to the highest degree at best, and enabling at worst. Throughout all of this, Minty has not once reached out to me to address any of this. 

Throughout the past month, I did not reach out to Tart or Minty. I felt like after the apology with Tart it was the assailant's job to instigate the conversation of whether or not the one who was upset (me) would like to join the group again. That conversation was never had, and I never stated that I wanted to leave. It's not fair to expect me to grovel to the other admins and beg to be returned to my position. I felt the apology went well, and I was content to leave it all in the past. Instead, the other admins just assumed since I had left the discord, I therefore left the blog. Had the apology been sincere, I would have been welcomed back with open arms.

I thought you were my friends, but friends don’t treat each other like this. Friends don’t make each other feel like they have to walk on eggshells around them. Friends should support each other and lift each other up, not turn everything into a competition or a fight. If I had realized that others around me were feeling the same way, I would not have sat silent for this long. For that, I apologize - to Umami, and to you, readers. 

I was asked to leave, so I’m leaving. This is my exit. I will be taking my work with me, just as Umami did. Umami was kind enough to invite me to join her on her other blog, so I will be housing my works there. I will be writing more in the future, so if you enjoyed any of my work, please feel free to follow me over there.

I want to thank you, readers, for taking the time to support my work. I feel like I’ve grown a lot as a writer since we started this, and it used to be a lot of fun. I hope to recapture that joy with a fresh start, and I hope that you come join me, if you feel so inclined. 

But in case I don’t see you…click here.

~Admin Zesty~

[dentalrecordsmusic]

Retrospective: Will Wood and The Tapeworms' "Everything Is a Lot"

"I’ve made an effort to seem like I popped out of the womb just as I am,” Will Wood says. “I’m good like that.” Little is known about Wood’s early years as a musician. It’s hard to picture the artist young and innocent. He is self-assured and bleeds confidence despite having “no idea what [his] actual personality is.” This week marked the four-year anniversary of his debut album with The Tapeworms, Everything Is a Lot, and I don’t know when I’ll get tired of writing about this particular album but I show no signs of getting bored of it yet.

Wood began taking piano lessons at just five years old and the rest is a blurry, disordered, and messy history. Between open mics and a vast array of bands and lots and lots and lots of substance abuse, putting together this timeline has been an adventure in and of itself. Not to mention the fact that there have been so many people involved in the making of this record, leading up to it was an eruption of sorts. Wood started writing songs in his pre-teens, but didn’t start playing to an audience until he was around 17. "There was a period in my life when I was not shy at all, during the time when I was using drugs heavily,” Wood says.

This was also around the time when he met Mike Bottiglieri, who has played with The Tapeworms on an off since its inception. "All the bands were different,” Wood says. "I was in one band that was similar to some of the more experimental and wacky sides of my music. Parody of dad rock. Jamface is where I met Mike, the guitarist of the Tapeworms. Mario Conte [Tapeworms drummer] was in a prior band as well. Hallucinogen use was really intense and the band I was playing with [Strange Thick] was writing the music and I was writing the lyrics and they were really into indie rock and I said 'I don’t care I’m writing songs about acid.’"

Initially a solo endeavor, The Tapeworms didn’t exactly come together until it was time for Wood to get into the studio when he decided he wanted to have a band backing his songs. "I always wanted to do band behind at least during recording,” he says. "I don’t know. I did a solo EP when I was 17 and it was terrible and it was very much my songwriting style but I had been going through some fucked up shit at that time so the music and lyrics were really fucked up, so it’s never seen the light of day. But that was the first time I put a band behind my songs, around 17. I guess the way it started, I was spending a lot of time in Greenwich Village playing open mics and I wanted a CD I could give people. I didn’t want to settle for me and a piano. If I’m gonna put out a Will Wood album, I wanted it to be the best I could make it.”

Around this time, life was a black hole for Will. "Alcohol is worse than hallucinogens,” he says. "I was really not doing well and I was the drunk. So I couldn’t figure out a direction in life, nothing was working out. I really felt like I’m one of those people who doesn’t have any hope in life. I don’t think anyone is truly hopeless but at least at that point, I believed I was truly hopeless. Lots of self-doubts. I’m a fucking weirdo and I’m good at being a fucking weirdo. Most of my music endeavors had to do with fucking around and it was an excuse to participate in the less healthy element of life. That was still part of it when I started gearing up to really try and play music as Will Wood.”

You may have seen Jon Maisto work the sound booth for almost all of Will Wood’s shows, but not many people know about how significant he was in the formation of the band as it stands today. "Jon produced the first album and he was the lead songwriter of one of the bands I was in when I was a teenager,” Wood says. “He always said 'I want to record a Will Wood album.' He was the first person in my life to really believe in my music. Jon took the opportunity when it came to helping me find musicians. A lot of it is thanks to Jon.”

When it came to naming the project and the album, Wood took very little time in figuring that out. "The project wasn’t gonna be called Will Wood and The Tapeworms, it was just gonna be Will Wood,” he says. "Towards the end of it, I was experimenting with some of the things to call it. I got more and more involved and started working towards trying to quit drinking and it was really inspiring. Towards the end of it, I decided on Will Wood and The Tapeworms and it doesn’t mean anything. I considered calling the project Everything is a Lot for a while, branding it as a band as opposed to a solo project. When it came down to it we picked The Tapeworms. That didn’t mean I had the intention to play with a band every show. I was still gonna sell this album for a couple bucks a pop after an open mic. I didn’t have any plans.”

The way the album came together was much more fluid, as Wood had plenty of songs to choose from after writing on his own for so long. "I had a big stockpile of songs at that point,” he says. "Lots of songs to choose from. But I quickly got it down to my favorites. The best I had written in my life. I really wanted to put out an album. Most of them it wasn’t even a question with the exception of 'Chemical Overreaction.' The reason for that is because I didn’t want to get pigeonholed into this one feature of the ways in which I like to write songs. I didn’t want to be reduced to cabaret punk. Whatever happens, is part of what agreements you make and the things you do to make other people happy too.”

Everything Is a Lot stands as an incredibly unique-sounding album despite its passing through time. But most importantly, we all must remember that The Tapeworms are a “revolving door” of excellently talented musicians and there have been so many people in this band over the years. "There have been 3 dozen people in The Tapeworms,” Wood says. “Every album has a different band in it and they all deserve credit for it. I think they all deserve credit for being so creative that they took what I wrote and turned it into something that was rock and roll and the way they were able to put on a show. The songs are mine but I don’t always know what will sound the best here so the sounds you hear on the album are a lot of different people who contributed to those sounds. People don’t really get that. I want people to realize that there have been a lot of people who contributed to the idea of what they are. It isn’t just one group of people I’ve been playing with. Each album is working with a different group of people and that’s one reason why it sounds so different. I wouldn’t be where I am as a musician without the other musicians who have brought my songs to life.”

You can listen to Everything Is a Lot wherever you listen to music.

Catherine Dempsey has her third eye. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

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[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Montenegro to Eurovision with 6 young souls

(this is a pre-vamp review so take this whole thing as “something I wanted to publish but my schedule was withholding until it was specifically time for them to be reviewed”, therefore, this is a bit of a retrospective review. Will tackle on its revamp later!)

Montevizija, which finally has an official Twitter account (we all should forget the times some dude named Vasilije pretended to having made one), offered us another batch of 5 songs for another year, actually revealing all of them beforehand this time and not just the snippets! Joy to the world I guess.

You gotta love Montevizija for it being the most underrated ex-Yugoslavian national final btw. Granted, it only lasted for 2 editions as of now, and it will take years to grow bigger as a thing, but so far, for us the NFs that are ingrained to our brains more are Dora, EMA and Beovizija (and even Skopje Fest when THAT was used to pick an act and not just served as a festival like it originally was meant to be), therefore Montevizija seems more shunned. But what do you expect when the lineup of 5 for two years in a row is not exactly as stellar as hoped for? Well, there are gems here and there, but they haven’t really won on either years (or at least not on the 2nd year if you call Vanja’s song a gem too), and yet somehow they find someone who call them great. But for me this Montenegrin entry is not. :L

And who is up there to be colossally blamed for its existence? None other than this group of 6 refering to themselves as D mol (with “mol” decapitalized for whatever reason... they used to have hyphen separating the ‘D’ and ‘mol’, but now they scrapped it altogether, an anime death I’ll never forget). Worth noting that I, as a 19 year old, have this particularly ugly feeling I must get rid of, and that’s the one of “feeling old”, already at my age. And this is how I felt seeing that the band whose song I am not fond of today is made up by members that are of 16-17 to 21-ish years old!!! So my heart insists that I shouldn’t go too hard on these poor younglings, even if this is just me, currently tackling the brethren of my age. Prepare as I’ll go to shred their composition they’re going to Tel Aviv with, “Heaven”, to bits.

Although, what I call “shredding to bits” is merely just nitpicking the reasons the original version (keep bearing in mind that I haven’t heard the revamp yet) sucks imo, and idk, the new “Heaven” miiiiiiight just grow on me, but I heavily doubt about it because I never cared for it in the first place (youhouuu, they were my last in Montevizija ‘19 for a reason), and I’m rather looking forward for the new faves from the 8 songs I haven’t listened to yet rather than those that were already chosen. And even the Eurofans were not quite fond on the revamp, as some think the additional ethno sounds made it sound worse (and of course there are some that kinda like it or think of the song as their guilty pleasure). So why shouldn’t I? :O

Anyway, old “Heaven”. The first sounds on here to grace my ears on this song consist of one light piano note being tapped to an exact rhythm and a confused baby girl stuttering. And I’d’ve maybe enjoyed this more ironically at some point if it weren’t for the latter sound effect being re(ab)used later in the song!! Ugh I hate it. The lyrics are fine I guess... though isn’t it ironic the only English song in Montevizija’s lineup this year won?? It’s like the Montenegrin people were openly cringing when being the only ones to understand Vanja comparing his life to cat’s and mouse’s and calling his heart “the most expensive toy” in his song and then they were like “you know what? Let’s let the WHOLE Europe understand how terrible our lyrics are! ^_^” (no but for real, who still uses “I’m in heaven, falling straight into your heart” as a pick-up line? Did they travel through time from 1998 to 2019 or something???)

Speaking of the 90s, the whole song smells like a dated cliché of that period. You know, the kind of “the high school prom song from that 90s teen sitcom’s who you’re forced to watch when your elderly aunt is in the house with you and there’s nothing else on TV” dated. Dated even more than “Chain of Lights”. Seriously though! It includes the pathetic “wah wah” bassline, mid-tempo beats, the boy/girl-group harmonies... catch me puking sugar-coated cheese to this, no thanks. Oh and if you already read my “Zero Gravity” review (which you probably never even bothered to after seeing how much text would you have to read), I definitely mentioned that I’m not a fan of those “two verses-two choruses” songs, and especially those kind of ones that aren’t sounding like something suited for radio (e.g.: Poland 2018, “Light Me Up”)... this obviously sounds like something from the radio of the times the at-the-time senior highschoolers are currently over 30 or slightly over 40, and that should be 4 and a half minutes long. These verses could just not be more ridiculously dragged out for the choruses to prevail and get stuck in our brains... fucking welp [sic] me already.

Well, if there are any brownie points I could give this, it’s pleasant, it’s harmless if I don’t take into account the cheese vibes this emits, and all this bunch are made up by up-and-coming talented singers that clearly deserved a better song...

And the staging concept in their NF was cool tho (illustrating their power of D mol), and I applaud the couple chemistry I guess

Oh and this below is one of the most underappreciated memes this Euroseason:

*stares into your soul in Montenegrin*

So yeah. Oh and the Rizo(tto) guy who is self-aware of his hotness and the hotness of the much older Eurovision guys this year, but he’s not doing it for me so that I could be in heaven falling, so he’s getting a hard pass.

All in all - a nostalgia cash-in made to appease the housewives from Podgorica to Skopje, from Novi Sad to Štúrovo, and nothing quite else, sung by a cool bunch of people that if anything are deemed this year’s "great people with an unfortunately too dated song and a shitty draw” by me. I don’t know much of their personalities but I do believe that even if they like what they’re singing, they’d be much better off doing a better sounding throwback, at least. So that even the disappointed-by-”Heaven” Eurofans could at least call it “so dated but a BOP!”. And hey, I’m aware of those fans that will likely be pissed at me for not bopping along to this, but I said what I said about it and yet again, if revamp changes my mind, I will change my opinion, but right now I’d not prefer to. Grumpy Adio.

Approval factor: Hell with the no. I would like Vanja back instead. At least he made himself a somebody to be cared about even if the Eurofans didn’t quite adapt to his song in return.

Follow-up factor: somehow, both “Inje” and “Heaven” were/are seen by the masses as instant NQs, so it somehow doesn’t sound like Montenegro is following a great path so far. And after this year anything that audience favours and wins can be seen as a way better follow up after something meh coming after something wrose.

Qualification factor: For the n-th time, I’m yet to check the revamp out to state where this will actually go, but being put 2nd in the draw is a massive stab in the knee, as demonstrated by even the national finals this year (Electric Fields in Australia Decides, Aly Ryan in Unser Lied für Israel, Lisa Ajax in Melodifestivalen final... the only glaring exception is ZENA in Eurofest but is it me or these producers did this just so they could be all like “heeeey we put a winning song on 2nd just to show that a NF song can win from ANY draw! ANY DRAW!!!” lol nope), and from it only a few lucky souls have crawled out victorious (Nathan Trent for example, the draw might have pushed him down in the semi but he got up again!). D mol, for as young and developing in talent as they are, don’t seem to be such. You can be young and pitied for your personality, but you always can at the same time have a song that completely crushes your chances to do well and sweeps up the last shards of hope right in front of your eyes despite being an angel worthy of protection (Ari Ólafsson, anyone?). Unless the D molians work all their magic and the random ethnic vibes into their favour for some reason, but for now it ain’t gonna work.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

And even then, what was so interesting about Montevizija 2019?? Let’s see...

• First off, let’s address one meme of the beginning of 2019 that Facebook may or may have not used purposefully to upgrade their automatic “facial recognition” skills - the 10 years challenge. Our first one of this season is the sassy maneater who spent her ESC stint by trying to unlove a guy so hard that he just couldn’t oblige - Andrea Demirović. Her decade-later A-game happened to be this one song she sang in her mother-tongue: “Ja sam ti san” (I am your dream). Now, I wasn’t particularly into it - I enjoy some electro tracks out there (like hello, “Igranka” is one of my favourite Montenegrin entries, and 2013 entries overall as well) but this one just ended up being the right amount of cool AND overbearingly unsettling for me to not really fancy it. Kinda like “Red” by HyunA - I can only bop to this if I don’t care about the fact I actually hate it, oops. (Or maybe it is just because Andrea once again used a composition done by one of those “rent-a-NF-songwriter” people. Which is at least better than collabing Ralph Siegel who’s stopped being relevant ever since starting to work with San Marino, or even since the hilarious attempt of a peace song sung by the original common framework, six4One. But since Michael James Down has co-contributed to one of the better Montevizija songs last year, I will not allow myself to think it’s thanks to those kind of songwriters.) Nevertheless, the Eurofans actualy kind of loved this song, but sadly, Montenegrins and the international jury did quite not, and she didn’t land on to the superfinal 2 (as opposed to a superfinal 3 last year, to which she could have easily qualified if it still were a 3). Here’s her song to y’all anyways (and the performance too, which just needed to include some random monster dudes dancing around... why? Because Eurovision! ^^):

• Speaking of Andrea, during the results part there was this one shot of hers where she was pictured just casually chilling on her phone, not giving a damn that she’s being underrated on the scoreboard. Not only she was badly rated, but this moment was such an universal #mood!

• In between the finally final results announcement (which I didn’t really know when exactly was it taking place because the winner wasn’t really said out loud before the event I will describe next was taking place??) there was this lottery going on of who would be the lucky two audience observers that’d win tickets to Tel Aviv... hilariously enough though, it somehow malfunctioned and there were some sort of errors regarding the announcement of the RIGHT winner <3 but the winners happened and I hope they’re getting to go to Tel Aviv at some point during the Eurovision events! Hope they don’t feel startled by the lack of taken seats this year.

• Unlike Eesti Laul, Montevizija this year took up the job of showcasing tweets of Eurofans, and somehow this fellow fella ended up seen by a handful of Montenegrins AND international viewers. Take a wild guess which of them know what a daddy Serhat is.

• And who could not forget the magic flying envelope for to announce the winner of the NF:

there must have been some Harry Potter magic in there :O

As for what touches the other songs, well there’s the last year’s fan fave Nina Petković with another song, but it’s no “Dišem”, so don’t even bother. Or bother, but imo it’s just okay-sounding, nothing that groundbreaking or pleasant enough to be competitive. The other few songs were also nice but I’d like not to make this longer as my other write-ups, to be fair. Sucked to be Mr. Kállay-Saunders who, as the international juror chosen for this national final, had to rank its songs... as that NF happened right on the same day his second A Dal 2019 performance was taking off. Not that the international jurors were supposed to be present in Montenegro on the day of this NF, anyways...

Anyway, despite all this goddamn criticism (that could’ve flown more smooth had my computer not restarted in the middle of me doing paragraphs for this review), I’m fare welling the D mol-ians and would like to wish them a heavenly Eurovision experience. ^_^

[hyenabutter]

Low began their career near the end of the last century as perhaps the ultimate slowcore band, but about a dozen years ago, after the high-water mark of 2002's Trust, they released The Great Destroyer, their first truly loud album, their first to speed along at more than a dripping faucet's pace, their first to use all the cliched signifiers of Rock. It was thrilling. 

The break Low made between Trust and The Great Destroyer may have seemed jarring, but that's only because of how deliberate it was: they had been building at their own incremental pace toward The Great Destroyer's bombast at least since 1999's Secret Name. It was a surprise the same way that the groaning of an ice-coated limb goes unnoticed until the snap and roar of all that has been accumulated gives way to gravity. 

Having made that--apparently--sudden leap forward, the band made the next jump, to the chilly electronics and beats of Drums and Guns. It was a move that also seemed jarring, in purely sonic terms, but less so in the act itself. Reinvention seemed to be their new calling card.

Which is why their next two albums, C'Mon and The Invisible Way, at least in my mind, were  genuinely surprising in that there wasn't much in the way of mold-breaking. C’Mon and The Invisible Way were to my ears pleasant but they failed to capture my attention in any serious way. The songs were fine, but they just seemed to be kind of generic, standard indie rock songs. I let Low drift away from me. We were done, I thought. 

I gave the glitchy follow-up, 2015's Ones And Sixes little more than a cursory listen, and though I thought it seemed a better album than their previous two, I still declined to take a deep dive into it. It feels now in retrospect a dry run for Double Negative, their  newest album, and in that light I think I should perhaps give it a second, more considered listen. 

Double Negative feels like a sudden leap forward the way The Great Destroyer did more than a decade ago, this time taking their sound and breaking it completely: the songs here are crumbled and crushed, awash in static, the voices of Alan Sparhawk and Mimi Parker clipped and digitally manipulated. At times it seems to me like Low's version of Lambchop's FLOTUS album from 2016: an established act taking on the production tricks of the new generation, seeing where their songs go in a new environment. But where FLOTUS was more often than not concerned with love and beauty, Double Negative is its scabrous, photo-negative twin, blown-out, horror movie stuff, loops of distortion and heavy, thundering beats, the songs scorched and scabbed-over, rife with paranoia and unease.

I wasn't very impressed with my first exposure to the album: the first few bits  I heard were playing through someone's television, which is no way to listen to anything, really, but it explains my trepidation: this is in every way a headphone album, one that demands you be utterly submerged in its waters. The songs are so broken and distorted that for a moment during "Quorum", the opening track, I wondered if I'd fully plugged the jack in: layers of noise swell in and out of the mix, as do Alan Sparhawk's vocals, until it gives way to the looped pounding of "Dancing And Blood"; on "Tempest" Sparkhawk's voice is run through some sort of digital proccessing that sounds like the decayed transmission from some distant star, the vocals utterly obliterated and unintelligible; "Always Trying To Work It Out" throbs like a Portishead record bathed in battery acid, Mimi Parker's crystal clear vocals harmonizing with Sparhawk, whose voice is shifted down low in a way that reminds me of younger bands like Perfume Genius, bands that probably owe more than a little to Low themselves; the percolating static and near-wordless vocals of of "The Son, The Sun" are as menacing as anything on Colin Stetson's Hereditary soundtrack; "Rome (Always In The Dark)" is blistered near-R&B, The Weeknd for existential despair instead of the ennui of sex and drugs. 

A great deal of this new sonic landscape is no doubt due to producer BJ Burton, who contributed similarly to the electronic fragmenting of Bon Iver's 22, A Million, a record that I can't help but feel was some kind of inspiration for Double Negative, and while a small part of me wants to call out Low for opportunism and bandwagon-jumping, they actually worked with Burton previous to the release of 22, A Million, on Ones And Sixes, and besides, the band have never been trend-chasers before. The fact of the matter remains, though, that this is for better or worse the most heavily-produced album Low have ever made, and at times it feels like one of those remix albums bands would release in the 90s in an attempt to cash in on the "electronica" craze, as if there are a batch of fairly conservative demos somewhere that were mailed to Burton, who chopped and mangled them as he saw fit: based on what I've read of the album's genesis, that doesn't seem to be the case, but the thought nags. 

In the end, it feels like with Double Negative Low have created a kind of critic-proof album: the songs are strange and easy to write about, and so obfuscated both lyrically and vocally it's easy to pour any kind of interpretation you'd like into them, and the music itself is often so challenging to someone expecting "normal" music that its thorniness  becomes its own defense: if you don't like it, it's because you just don't get it. It's an admirable album that I'm not sure I actually like. 

If nothing else, Double Negative is the most interested I've been in a Low album in more than a decade, and it feels like the band themselves were more actively engaged in its creation than in their previous albums. C'Mon and The Invisible Way were timid, treading-water sort of albums: enough to stay afloat, but barely. A quarter-century on, and for the first time in a long while Low feel like they're swimming again.

[funnydove-blog]

Fashion Victims: Collateral Damage

I think of puberty as a special delight—in retrospect, and for other people. It’s a twisting tunnel of change, an emotional roller coaster. Unexpected growth spurts and new, intoxicating emotions keep adolescents who are barely in control of their maturing bodies constantly on edge. All anyone can do is hang on and try to make it through relatively unscathed.

It is a tricky process: you have no warning when it will start, what the ride will be like, and most importantly, when it will end. The young bodies of teens and tweens neck deep in puberty are changing at lightning speed. Luckily, the human body is naturally equipped to handle this turbulent transition. However, many of the chemicals used in makeup can dangerously and unpredictably offset the young body’s organic balancing act during this period.

What’s more, the manner in which tweens and teens use makeup adds to the health risks. As adult women, you may share your makeup with your ‘girls’ (a little blush here, a touch of mascara, a little extra liner pencil, and just a dab of lip gloss). Generally, though, you carry your makeup. Your friends carry theirs. You know what you’re using. It’s not a ‘pass around pack’.

However, teens and tweens generally have a much larger circle of friends with whom they share makeup. For the most part they have no idea of how those friends (with whom they are sharing their makeup) are using their own makeup, or who they are sharing it with. Why is this a hazard?

Liquids like primer, foundation, lip gloss, mascara, and their applicator brushes provide a fertile breeding ground for bacteria. Unwitting users then add their own bacteria cocktail from their lips, hands, eyes, and faces. That bottle, tube, applicator brush, or sponge then turns the makeup into a dangerous culprit for a whole host of illnesses and diseases. Unknowingly, teens and tweens often spread harmful bacteria exponentially through shared makeup products. As we discussed, makeup can have annoying and damaging effects on its users, especially developing teens and tweens. Already dealing with skin issues from raging hormones, genes, and germs in the environment around them, the last thing they need are additional makeup-related health issues.

Symptoms like pink eye, staph infections, and those awful makeup-induced acne lesions, medically known as ‘acne-cosmetica’, can be a result of wearing makeup too soon, too frequently, and too heavily. We all know that teen acne is no laughing matter: for teens and tweens in an often brutal peer pressure environment, it can make the problems of puberty a thousand times worse. Taking a step back, reassessing the role of beauty products in your life, and defining a new, common-sense approach are key.

THE SIMPLE SOLUTION

Many of the known side effects associated with teens and tweens using makeup can be simply and easily resolved. It is your responsibility to create a proper skin care routine—for yourself and your daughters—early in order to develop and maintain beautiful skin naturally. I would suggest that young girls under the age of 16 not wear any makeup at all. When teens do begin to wear makeup, they should take care to use water-based makeup and apply it sparingly with clean brushes.

It is your responsibility to find products free from harmful chemicals that will support a healthy makeup collection. When in doubt about a product or ingredient, do 123 your own research before applying it to your skin.

One great resource is the Skin Deep Cosmetic Safety Database – which you can access at CosmeticsDatabase.com. Just plug in the name of your favorite makeup product and the database will tell you if it contains any known dangerous ingredients.

Again: you must also ask yourself if you know exactly what you’re purchasing—the product, and its ‘true costs’ to you and your health—when you buy cosmetics. You’re not just getting the benefit of ‘the look’ they provide. You’re getting the impact—short and long term—of the health risks they carry. You should also ask yourself this: ‘Even if I adopt a devil-may-care attitude toward my own health and my own life with regards to cosmetics, what health risks am I exposing my children—born and unborn —to?’

When toxins get into your bloodstream, they don’t just stay with you. You pass them on to your child before they’re born, and afterward, during the breastfeeding process. Furthermore, if you set an example of purchasing and using toxic cosmetics on yourself, can you blame your daughters for adopting your habits, buying the same toxic products, and using them? Is that really a legacy you want to pass on?

I will tell you this about Old Money Gals: when it comes to their health and the health of their children, they ask a lot of hard questions, and they continue to ask hard questions until they get satisfactory answers. If they don’t get a satisfactory answer about a product that may affect their health or the health of their family, it’s over: they don’t buy the product. They don’t allow it in the house. They don’t allow their children to use it. They prioritize health over appearance because nothing is more beautiful than a woman with healthy, clean, fresh skin.

Police the people in your head, especially the ones telling you that you must wear makeup to be attractive. Listen to your instincts. Listen to your body. Know that the ‘true cost’ of ‘beauty’ can never be at the expense of your health.

TOXIC REL ATIONSHIPS

Now, let’s take a look at some of the ingredients in cosmetics that victimize women and girls, and the health problems they cause. These substances include:

Parabens—these chemicals have been found to disrupt hormonal levels as they mimic the hormone estrogen and are linked to cancer, reproductive toxicity, immunotoxicity, neurotoxicity, and skin irritation, as well as increasing the chances of breast cancer. They are found in shampoos and other bath products.

Formaldehyde—found in nail polish and hair treatments, a known carcinogen. ‘Fragrance’—this word on a product label can mean anything, as companies aren’t required to disclose what chemicals are included. Common toxins include hormone disruptors which contribute to breast cancer, among other things. Avoid this by purchasing products scented only with organic essential oils.

Coal Tar Dyes—banned from food products, but still found in hair dyes, lipsticks, and other products. Look for the ‘color index’ (CI), followed by a 5 digit number on the ingredients label to determine if Coal Tar Dyes are present in a product.

Talc—found in eye shadows, body powders, face powders, and many loose mineral products. Contributes to ovarian tumors, among other things.

Mineral oil—a petroleum-based product and a known carcinogen. Found in baby lotions, creams, and lip balms, among other things. Aluminum zirconium—found in antiperspirants and linked to the development of Alzheimer’s disease, as well as breast cancer.

Sodium laureth—found in a variety of cosmetics, causing skin damage, eye damage, and liver damage. One of the most dangerous unregulated products found in a variety of beauty products (shower gel, exfoliant, liquid hand soap, and toothpaste). Has long been used in industrial cleaning products. BHA and BHT (Butylated Hydroxyanisole & Butylated Hydroxy-toluene)— preservatives widely used by the food industry, also found in a range of cosmetics, these damage the reproductive system and impede proper thyroid function, among other things.

There is an extreme injustice in the fact that many women voluntarily pay exorbitant prices for cosmetics that, first, enrich male-dominated companies, and, second, contribute to a wide range of illnesses, many of them deadly to women. It is easy to avoid being a fashion victim, both in terms of health and finances, when it comes to cosmetics: become informed, purchase healthier, and purchase less.

[endenogatai]

Adtech giant Criteo is being investigated by France’s data watchdog

Adtech giant Criteo is under investigation by the French data protection watchdog, the CNIL, following a complaint filed by privacy rights campaign group Privacy International.

“I can confirm that the CNIL has opened up an investigation into Criteo . We are in the trial phase, so we can’t communicate at this stage,” a CNIL spokesperson told us.

Privacy International has been campaigning for more than a year for European data protection agencies to investigate several adtech players and data brokers involved in programmatic advertising.

Yesterday it said the French regulator has finally opened a probe of Criteo.

“CNIL’s confirmation that they are investigating Criteo is important and we warmly welcome it,” it said in the  statement. “The AdTech ecosystem is based on vast privacy infringements, exploiting people’s data on a daily basis. Whether its through deceptive consent banners or by infesting mental health websites these companies enable a surveillance environment where all you moves online are tracked to profile and target you, with little space to contest.”

We’ve reached out to Criteo for comment. Update: The company has now sent this statement:

We confirm that in January 2020, the CNIL opened a formal investigation into Criteo in response to a complaint filed by Privacy International back in November 2018.  The complaint was not specifically targeted at Criteo or its specific practices, but instead was spread across 7 companies and 3 DPAs, challenging in a general manner the practices of data brokers, ad tech firms, and credit scoring firms.  The CNIL is Criteo’s supervisory authority as a French company, so this is a normal procedure that we’ve already publicly disclosed. We are currently collaborating with the CNIL in their review and remain completely confident in our privacy practices.

Since our founding in Europe in 2005, Criteo has a proven record of ensuring our technology has high levels of data privacy and security while helping our clients meet shopper expectations with advertising that is personalized and relevant. As a global company with major offices in multiple EU countries, we are used to complying with country-level requirements across the world.

Moreover, Criteo regularly collaborates and consults with the CNIL (French DPA), which is our home DPA and supervisory authority under the GDPR, on privacy matters relating to Criteo and our industry.

Back in November 2018, a few months after Europe’s updated data protection framework (GDPR) came into force, Privacy International filed complaints against a number of companies operating in the space — including Criteo.

A subsequent investigation by the rights group last year also found adtech trackers on mental health websites sharing sensitive user data for ad targeting purposes.

Last May Ireland’s Data Protection Commission also opened a formal investigation into Quantcast, following Privacy International’s complaint and a swathe of separate GDPR complaints targeting the real-time bidding (RTB) process involved in programmatic advertising.

The crux of the RTB complaints is that the process is inherently insecure since it entails the leaky broadcasting of people’s personal data with no way for it to be controlled once it’s out there vs GDPR’s requirement for personal data to be processed securely.

In June the UK’s Information Commission’s Office also fired a warning shot at the behavioral ad industry — saying it had “systemic concerns” about the compliance of RTB. Although the regulator has so far failed to take any enforcement action, despite issuing another blog post last December in which it discussed the “industry problem” with lawfulness — preferring instead to encourage adtech to reform itself. (Relevant: Google announcing it will phase out support for third party cookies.)

In its 2018 adtech complaint, Privacy International called for France’s CNIL, the UK’s ICO and Ireland’s DPC to investigate Criteo, Quantcast and a third company called Tapad — arguing their processing of Internet users’ data (including special category personal data) has no lawful basis, neither fulfilling GDPR’s requirements for consent nor legitimate interest.

Privacy International’s complaint argued that additional GDPR principles — including transparency, fairness, purpose limitation, data minimisation, accuracy and integrity and confidently — were also not being fulfilled; and called for further investigation to ascertain compliance with other legal rights and safeguards GDPR gives Europeans over their personal data, including the right to information; access; rights related to automated decision making and profiling; data protection and by design and default; and data protection impact assessments.

In specific complaints against Criteo, Privacy International raised concerns about its Shopper Graph tool, which is used to predict real-time product interest, and which Criteo has touted as having data on nearly three-quarters of the worlds’ shoppers, fed by cross-device online tracking of people’s digital activity which is not limited to cookies and gets supplemented by offline data; and its Dynamic Retargeting tool, which enables the retargeting of tracked shoppers with behaviorally targeted ads via Criteo sharing data with scores of ‘partners’ including publishers and ad exchanges involved in the RTB process to auction online ad slots.

At the time of the original complaint Privacy International said Criteo told it it was relying on consent to track individuals obtained via its advertising (and publisher) partners — who, per GDPR, would need to obtain informed, specific and freely given consent up-front before dropping any tracking cookies (or other tracer technologies) — as well as claiming a legal base known as legitimate interest, saying it believed this was a valid ground so that it could comply with its contractual obligations toward its clients and partners.

However legitimate interests requires a balancing test to be carried out to consider impacts on the individual’s interests, as part of a wider assessment process to determine whether it can be applied.

It’s Privacy International’s contention that neither consent nor legitimate interest is valid in Criteo’s case.

Now the CNIL will look in detail at its data processing to determine whether or not there are GDPR violations. If it finds breaches of the law, the regulation allows for monetary penalties to be issued that can scale as high as 4% of a company’s global turnover. EU data protection agencies can also order changes to how data is processed.

Commenting on the CNIL’s investigation of Criteo, Dr Lukasz Olejnik, an independent privacy researcher and consultant — whose research on the privacy implications of RTB predates all the aforementioned complaints — told us: “I am not surprised with the investigation as in Real-Time Bidding transparency and consent were always very problematic and at best non-obvious. I don’t know how retrospective consent could be reconciled.”

“It is rather beyond doubt that a thorough privacy impact assessment (data protection impact assessment) had to be conducted for many aspects of such systems or its uses, so this particular angle of the complaint should not controversial,” Olejnik added.

“My long views on Real-Time Bidding is that it was not a technology created with particular focus on security and privacy. As a transformative technology in the long-term it also contributed to broader issues like the dissemination of harmful content like political disinformation.”

The CNIL probe certainly adds to Criteo’s business woes, with the company reporting declining revenue last year and predicting more to come in 2020. More aggressive moves by browser makers to bake in tracker blocking is clearly having an impact on its core business.

In a recent interview with Digiday Criteo CEO Megan Clarken talked about wanting to broaden the range of services it offers to advertisers and reduce its reliance on its traditional retargeting.

The company has also been investing heavily in artificial intelligence in recent years — ploughing in $23M in 2018 to open an AI lab in Paris.

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[hermanwatts]

Sensor Sweep: Irish Horror Writers, Robert Jordan, E. C. Comics

Indie Fiction (Jon Mollison): Given that indy comics are shouting into the gale-force winds of multi-billion dollar marketing campaigns.  It’s hard to get noticed, and every little of help that I can offer my fellow creatives is time well spent.  These reviews aren’t just the writings of a fan, they are recommendations to help you choose the best works to fill your time.

    Fiction (Matthew Hoskin): I was reminded of this poster recently, reading my Oxford World’s Classics edition of Ludovico Ariosto’s Italian Renaissance epic, Orlando Furioso. The cover depicts Ruggiero rescuing Angelica, mounted on a winged steed (bird? hippogriff? I don’t know yet), lancing a dragon from atop his mount. Angelica is nude.  This led me to start thinking about Howard and Ariosto. Now, I’m not saying that Robert E. Howard ever read Ariosto (or Boiardo’s Orlando innamorato).

  Gaming (Kraken Originals): Four more Mythical Mystics are ready to be released into the wild. Mermaid, SaberWolf, Unicorn, and Yeti will be available for sale at 6pm PDT on 10-24-19. The different ink options give each set a very unique and different look from their counterparts, and with our Naked sets the outcomes are endless! Don’t miss out on completing your collection with these 12 or 14 piece sets.

Currently there are no Naked Fairy sets available, but the other four sets are available in all ink options. 12pc Set is $19.95 and the 14pc set is $24.95, a $3 savings from buying the 30mm and 15mm alone.

  Fiction (Goodman Games): So even when Joe Goodman suggested doing some Appendix N Archaeology articles, I had not thought of the Bard of Baltimore until he suggested revisiting Poe. And in retrospect, decades from those dreaded reading assignments, I can think back, remember stories like The Pit and the Pendulum, The Masque of the Red Death, and The Telltale Heart and realize that he was, more than Hawthorne or Stoker, the father of modern horror fiction. Before Poe, there were horror stories and novels like Varney the Vampire or Geoffrey Lewis’ The Monk, but the majority were more morality stories than anything else or ended, Scooby-Doo-style, with the villains unmasked as mere charlatans.

  Gaming (Nerd Stash): Destiny plays a major role in Call of Cthulhu as well. Your choices have a lasting impact on the world and Pierce and will make all the difference in the final moments of the game. Choose to betray a character’s trust and they may not assist you in a key point of the game. While helping them with something will earn you a reward later on that may get you to a different area or give you a new piece of lore. I’m a huge fan of pen and paper roleplaying games and Call of Cthulhu plays out exactly like one. That’s excellent seeing as it is based on the same mechanics as the RPG of the same name.

D&D (Skulls in the Stars): UK4: When a Star Falls (1984), by Graeme Morris.  We start today with another of the UK-produced modules, which tend to have a very different flavor and welcome quirkiness when compared to their US counterparts. The fact that this module is written by Graeme Morris is a good sign: Morris was an author or co-author of many excellent modules from the TSR UK office, including Beyond the Crystal Cave, which I’ve written about before!

  FIction (Cleveland.com): But it wasn’t “Star Wars” or Atari that made the biggest impression on the Cleveland author growing up. Thanks to his father, Bruening grew up reading the pulp fiction of the pre-World War II era, the noirs and adventure tales and Westerns and aviation tales that kept earlier generations rapt. “My father was born in 1929, six months before the stock market crash, his childhood was defined by the Great Depression and then war,” says Bruening. “He read all of the adventure classics, Kipling, Dumas, Edgar Rice Burroughs, cowboy stories. He was really enamored of that whole type of entertainment.

  H. P. Lovecraft (DMR Books): Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett—better known as Lord Dunsany—passed beyond the Fields We Know on this date in 1957. H.P. Lovecraft, was, without a doubt, one of the foremost Dunsany fans to ever walk the earth. Below is the poem he wrote in tribute to that titan of fantasy literature. As far as I can ascertain, HPL’s ode to Dunsany was written in 1919. Lovecraft would precede his idol to the grave by two decades.

“To Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Eighteenth Baron Dunsany”

  Fiction (From Dundee’s Desk): Back in the 1992 – 94 time period, under the pen name Adam Rutledge, James Reasoner wrote a six-volume series of books for Bantam entitled THE PATRIOTS. As the over-arcing title suggests, these stories are set during the Revolutionary War years when young America rose up and won independence from England.

  Fiction (Don Herron): Far be it for me to sit on my beanbag when you guys are having all the fun with the Siege of Malta. This inscription is from The Knights of St. John (1932), a novel by Paul L. Anderson which — while I haven’t read it — undoubtedly deals with the siege. Just check out the Dedication. Anderson of course is well-known for his stories of prehistoric man which appeared in issues of Argosy during the early 1920s. These stories were obviously enjoyed by Robert E. Howard, and influenced him when he wrote tales such as “Spear and Fang.”

  Culture Wars (Brian Niemeier): Merely mentioning a Disney/Marvel property, even to negatively contrast it with a superior indie work, just gives the Devil Mouse brand social proof as the one to beat.

Refusing to feed the beast doesn’t suffice by itself, though. We also need positive messaging that promotes superior alternatives. Freeing Gen Y fanboys from the nostalgia trap has also proven more of a challenge than even I anticipated. Studying methods professionals use to combat addiction and deprogram cultists may be in order.

  Horror (Ireland XO): The people of Ireland have a reputation for their skill as storytellers with the nation producing some of the most lauded novelists, playwrights, and poets that the world has ever known. The genre of horror is no different, as three of the great early authors in the field had either immediate or very close connections with Ireland.

Horror (Digital Bibliophilia): There is a point while I was reading The Spirit by Thomas Page that I had flashbacks to the fairy tale Goldilocks and the Three Bears. I won’t spoil anything, but if you read the novel, or have already read the novel, it might happen to you too. I read the re-print version by Valancourt Books, which has come about via the enormous success of their coffee table reference book Paperbacks From Hell by Grady Hendrix with contributions from Will Errickson.

  Comic Books (Goodman Games): In fact, it’s also fairly easy to see how Gary Gygax, the main co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons (and an entire gaming industry) would fess up to being influenced by the art and storytelling found within the comic books of his formative years. But they are not just any old comic books that he mentions; Gary took the time to single out the creative output of one particular company among the veritable sea of comic books being printed at the time. Yes dear readers, the creeping tendrils of Tales from the Crypt, Weird Science, and Vault of Horror have been christened part of the root system beneath the mighty sequoia that is Dungeons and Dragons.

Westerns (Brandywine Books): The scene above, (involving lost luggage) near the beginning of Owen Wister’s novel, The Virginian, seems to me to foreshadow a major theme of the novel. This is a panorama painted on a canvas a thousand miles wide. The landscape itself is a character in it. It’s a slow book, episodic and discursive, but that’s because everyplace is a long way from everyplace else, and travel takes time.

Robert Jordan (Every Day Should be Tuesday): Decades ago James Oliver Rigney Jr. wrote a book.  That book allowed him to break into the publishing industry.  He sold it several times.  It established his working relationship with Harriet McDougal, who would become his wife.  It led to his first published book, The Fallon’s Blood (as Reagan O’Neal).  It led to a gig writing (eventually seven) Conan pastiches for Tor, this time as Robert Jordan, the pseudonym he would make famous.  It also heavily foreshadows themes and elements from The Wheel of Time, his landmark work of epic fantasy.  It was not, however, published before his death.

Pulp Magazines (Mystery File): Have you ever received a book in the mail and immediately stopped what you were reading, stopped whatever you were doing and sat down and read the book? This is what happened when I received Queen of the Pulps. I had seen Laurie Powers work and do research on it for several years and finally here it is! She must of gotten sick and tired of me nagging her about the book and asking for progress reports.

Writing Philosophy (Rawle Nyanzi): The post — and the novel it reviews — asserts that good and evil are real, and that with great struggle, good can overcome evil. The novel in particular asserts that the Christian God is the source of this good, and that through Him, all things are possible. On the other hand, the tweet decries those who find the Joker film to be too nihilistic. Its writer asserts that the movie did well because heroism is dead. According to him, no one wants heroes anymore because society is corrupt and collapsing, with nothing to look forward to.

Sensor Sweep: Irish Horror Writers, Robert Jordan, E. C. Comics published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

[foursproutwealth-blog]

Kawhi Leonard's season-long fallout with the Spurs is going to lead to a pivotal summer, and nobody knows where it's going next

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/wealth/kawhi-leonards-season-long-fallout-with-the-spurs-is-going-to-lead-to-a-pivotal-summer-and-nobody-knows-where-its-going-next/

Kawhi Leonard's season-long fallout with the Spurs is going to lead to a pivotal summer, and nobody knows where it's going next

A divide has grown between Kawhi Leonard and the San Antonio Spurs over a disagreement about his injury and rehab.

Leonard spent the latter part of the season away from the team, rehabbing with his advisors and doctors, despite the Spurs clearing him to play, a development that surprised the NBA world and seemed to annoy the Spurs.

The Spurs reportedly plan to meet with Leonard this offseason to mend the relationship, but the team is nonetheless at a crossroads.

Leonard is eligible for a max contract extension with the Spurs, but there is hesitancy about giving that kind of contract to a player who might not be healthy and might not want to be there.

The Spurs could potentially look to trade Leonard if he indicates he no longer wants to be with the team.

To understand Kawhi Leonard’s current chasm with the San Antonio Spurs, consider the last time the organization faced a crossroads with its franchise star.

In 2000, Tim Duncan, then 24, was a free agent and heavily considering leaving the Spurs for the Orlando Magic.

Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich and Duncan had several meetings in which they discussed the future of the Spurs, with Duncan expressing concern about the direction of the franchise. As Popovich told Ian Thomsen in his new book, “The Soul of Basketball,” one factor, in particular, made the meetings productive and eventually led Duncan to re-sign with the Spurs.

“And so it was just like that, back and forth, but we sat there together,” Popovich told Thomsen of his meetings with Duncan. “It wasn’t like he was with his agent, and I’m calling, and we’re doing the separate kind of baloney. We did it together. Just figuring out what would be best.”

Popovich’s memory of the discussions reflects on where the Spurs currently stand with Leonard. Leonard, a two-time All-Star, two-time Defensive Player of the Year, and Finals MVP, missed all but nine games this season while rehabbing a quadriceps injury. He spent the latter weeks of the season away from the team, rehabbing with his advisors and doctors in New York City.

Consider what Popovich told reporters about Leonard’s status in April following a Game 1 playoff loss to the Golden State Warriors.

“You’ll have to ask Kawhi and his group that question,” Popovich told reporters. “So far, they say that he’s not ready to go.”

The quote caught the NBA world’s attention. “Group” not only indicated that Leonard was working outside of the Spurs’ domain but suggested a detachment from the Spurs. Popovich didn’t sound thrilled about the arrangement. He continually referenced Leonard’s “group” when asked about the star forward.

Leonard’s group reportedly included outside doctors, his agent, and his uncle, who is advising him. The Spurs had staff members there, too, but it wasn’t the typical setup teams are used to — certainly not the Spurs, who have been the face of stability in the NBA for two decades.

At the root of the issue is a disagreement over Leonard’s injury, as ESPN’s Ramona Shelburne and Michael C. Wright outlined. The Spurs and Leonard’s camp viewed Leonard’s injury differently, and as Leonard struggled to recover last summer, his camp felt the Spurs dragged their feet on getting second opinions. It has reportedly turned into an issue of what’s best for Leonard, and to whom he is listening. Spurs doctors cleared Leonard to play in 2018, but he did not return, feeling he wasn’t ready. Since then, the gulf has only seemed to widen.

According to one league source, there’s a sense of schadenfreude around the league that the Spurs, seemingly invulnerable to drama and inner-turmoil, are at last dealing with what the source described as “living the life everyone else has had to live for 20 years.”

Now, the Spurs head into an offseason that puts them at a crossroads unlike anything we’ve seen from the NBA’s model franchise. At the center of it is a top-five player that seemed primed to steer the Spurs from the Duncan era to the next without a hitch.

A meeting with Leonard is reportedly the Spurs’ top priority this offseason. From there, nobody is sure what’s next.

There’s no doubting that Leonard is injured.

NBA Hall of Famer and Turner Sports NBA analyst Grant Hill can understand the pressure Leonard may be feeling.

Though Hill emphasized he doesn’t know any specifics of Leonard’s situation, he can understand ignoring a team’s medical staff. Hill played just 135 games of a possible 492 from ages 28 to 33, his prime, while dealing with ankle issues. He has some regrets about how it was handled.

“I think in my case, I always sort of deferred to our team doctors to whether I was cleared to play,” Hill told Business Insider. “And I never went against the team and said I’m trying to play when they’re trying to hold me out. And I think everyone knows what happened to me.

“Like I said, I want to qualify by saying I don’t know the situation [in San Antonio]. I can only speak on my own experience. So, I just do know that just because a team doctor says it’s okay, I had times where I was cleared by team doctors, and in retrospect, had no business being out there and contributed to my whole ordeal. It was horribly mismanaged. And so I wish I had someone, whether it was an outside doctor or someone on my team or my behalf, speaking up for me and saying, ‘No, big picture, we want you to get right.’ I missed a good portion of my career, and it fully affected my career afterwards.”

Not everyone has been so understanding of Leonard’s situation.

In March, Tony Parker took a not-so-thinly-veiled shot at Leonard, saying he went through a quadriceps injury that was worse and still returned.

“I’ve been through it,” Parker told reporters. “It was a rehab for me for eight months. Same kind of injury [as Kawhi], but mine was a hundred times worse. But the same kind of injury. You just stay positive.”

Parker also insisted that he trusted the Spurs’ team doctors and did not need to seek outside counsel.

Frustration within the Spurs boiled over during the season when there was a players-only meeting with Leonard in which his teammates asked him what was going on. ESPN reported the meeting was “tense” and “emotional” at times, though some Spurs players disputed that. Leonard reportedly held strong that he was doing what was best for him and was not swayed to return to the court.

One source with knowledge of the Spurs noted how bizarre the situation has been because the Spurs have historically been one of the most cautious teams with injuries. They famously sat Duncan out of the 2000 playoffs after he tore his meniscus. Duncan could have returned, but the Spurs did not bring him back out of precaution. Many think it paid dividends in Duncan’s longevity.

According to this source, Popovich will sometimes make players come to him and ask to return to the court, even if doctors have cleared them. At times, players have to beg to return to show they’re truly ready to get back out there. Popovich has also kept players on the bench for an extra game or two even after they’ve been cleared, just to be safe.

Leonard’s situation is the opposite. The Spurs cleared him, and he hasn’t returned. Not everyone has understood that decision, only fueling the fire. A league source noted that by publicly declaring that they had cleared him, the Spurs left Leonard out to dry. They made it appear as if his agency was more concerned with his well-being than the team.

“If someone’s hurt and they don’t have peace of mind, and they’re not ready, then they shouldn’t come back,” Hill said. “It’s never for someone else to try and say if someone’s hurt or not. I know because I lived it. I went against my better judgment at times and went against what my gut and my instincts were telling me at times because the so-called experts said I was good.”

He added: “Your body talks to you. You just have to learn to listen to it.”

Outside motivations?

In the NBA, disputes between players and teams seldom fail to grow bigger than the initial issue. In Leonard’s case, it’s not just a question of if he’s going to return — it’s if he will return as a member of the Spurs.

The entire NBA world has wondered if Leonard has his eyes on other teams and is using his injury to force the Spurs’ hand. Multiple reports have indicated that other teams plan on making a run at Leonard this offseason.

A league source told Business Insider that Leonard’s agency and family have never been fond of Texas and feel that San Antonio, a small market, has hurt Leonard’s marketability when it comes to sponsors. The same source said Leonard’s shy personality is more to blame for his inability to get more sponsorships than San Antonio’s market size.

The source with knowledge of the Spurs disputed that claim. The person was never aware that Leonard’s camp was ever unhappy with San Antonio.

In March, ESPN reported that talks between Leonard and Jordan Brand over a new shoe deal had stalled over a contract dispute, with Leonard’s camp feeling the $20 million offer from Jordan did not match Leonard’s standing in the league. Shelburne and Wright reported that Leonard has never seemed to concern himself with marketing, leaving his representation to handle the business side of things.

Leonard’s agent, Mitch Frankel, did not respond to several requests for interviews from Business Insider.

ESPN reported that Spurs GM R.C. Buford has lost sleep over the Leonard saga, with a team-wide fear that Leonard could have his eyes on a bigger market.

In some of his only public comments while injured, Leonard told reporters he was happy with the Spurs and could “for sure” see him ending his career there.

It wouldn’t be the first time a player has imposed his will on a franchise to move to another location. For instance, Cleveland.com’s Joe Vardon reported that when Kyrie Irving asked for a trade from the Cleveland Cavaliers last summer, he threatened to sit out the season to get knee surgery if they did not trade him. Irving still had two years left on his deal, not much leverage by some standards, but the Cavs eventually acquiesced and traded him to the Boston Celtics.

The Spurs may be under more pressure, with Leonard hitting free agency in 2019.

The $219 million question.

Hanging over all of this is that Leonard is eligible for the so-called “supermax,” a five-year, $219 million contract that only the Spurs can offer, this summer.

Last season, when Leonard produced a career year and finished third in MVP voting, extending such an offer would have seemed like a no-brainer.

But the current saga has threatened the deal. ESPN reported that discussions over the deal are taking place now, with both sides unsure of what’s to come.

The league source said that giving Leonard the supermax this offseason might be unwise. The Spurs don’t have to extend the offer this summer, and there are questions about making such a commitment when the team is unsure of the state of his health and desire to be there.

Turning down such a deal would be unprecedented in the NBA, and it’s the reason some think Leonard and the Spurs will make amends if the Spurs do offer it. If Leonard still wanted out but couldn’t turn down the money, he could follow in the footsteps of Carmelo Anthony, who famously sealed a more lucrative extension with the Denver Nuggets in 2011 before requesting a trade to the New York Knicks.

There are other alternatives. Former Brooklyn Nets assistant GM and current ESPN analyst Bobby Marks told Business Insider that the Spurs could try to only partially guarantee the contract, similar to what the Philadelphia 76ers did with Joel Embiid. Marks noted that Leonard might not be open to such a deal, given his relative health and standing in the league, whereas Embiid had been injured for most of his career when he signed the agreement.

Marks also said the Spurs could wait out an extension until training camp next season to see how Leonard returned. Of course, by that time, they would have lost two to three months to deal Leonard. Opposing teams would have less time with Leonard, meaning they’d offer less in a trade than what Leonard is genuinely worth.

That’s another path this saga could take for the Spurs. What if the Spurs meet with Leonard and he tells them he’s done, that the relationship is irreparable and he wants out? The league source explained a contingency plan the Spurs should have.

“If you met him at the practice facility and he sat across from Pop and said, ‘There’s nothing you can do to keep me here, I don’t trust you, I don’t trust the medical staff, I’m out,’ I would have a deal lined up where I could trade him before he made it to his car. Because if you don’t do that, if you don’t trade him before it’s known that the reconciliation’s failed, you’ll get way less.”

The Spurs are on the clock, with Leonard’s free agency just over a year away. What they can’t afford to do is let Leonard’s deal run out without getting anything back for him. If he is uninterested in sticking around, the Spurs’ decision might be made for them.

There is faith in the Spurs’ way.

The situation isn’t apples-to-apples, but the Spurs faced a somewhat similar dilemma last offseason when LaMarcus Aldridge told Popovich he would like to be traded. Popovich openly told reporters this season that instead of following Aldridge’s wishes, he sat him down, talked out the issues, and convinced him to stay. Aldridge produced his finest season with the Spurs, and though the Leonard saga overshadowed it, led them to the playoffs. Sound familiar?

There’s some faith around the NBA that the Spurs will do the same this offseason. Such is the power of Popovich and Co.

“Pop and R.C. are masters at working through communication or misunderstanding or relationships,” said the source with knowledge of the Spurs.

“They’ve always been able to force the reality that they want to create into existence,” the league source said. “They’ve always been able to make things happen the way they want them to.”

ESPN reported that the divide between Leonard and the Spurs isn’t absolute — Leonard and Popovich reportedly still communicate and Leonard reportedly still talks to some other Spurs players.

But Marks noted that isn’t a typical situation.

“This is just a little bit different because it’s a player that has been injured since September, has been cleared at some point of the year and basically, there’s been an agreement between the Spurs and his camp that his doctor will clear him to return. I’ve never seen that before. I really haven’t,” Mark said. “And it’s a top-five player who’s going into a summer where he can get $219 million. So it’s like all of the things [that could] line up have lined up here.”

Speculation abounds because there’s no sense of what will happen next. It seems unclear to both the Spurs and Leonard’s camp what the future holds, but there is potential for it to shake up the league.

Join the conversation about this story »

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[foursprout-blog]

Kawhi Leonard's season-long fallout with the Spurs is going to lead to a pivotal summer, and nobody knows where it's going next

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/wealth/kawhi-leonards-season-long-fallout-with-the-spurs-is-going-to-lead-to-a-pivotal-summer-and-nobody-knows-where-its-going-next/

Kawhi Leonard's season-long fallout with the Spurs is going to lead to a pivotal summer, and nobody knows where it's going next

A divide has grown between Kawhi Leonard and the San Antonio Spurs over a disagreement about his injury and rehab.

Leonard spent the latter part of the season away from the team, rehabbing with his advisors and doctors, despite the Spurs clearing him to play, a development that surprised the NBA world and seemed to annoy the Spurs.

The Spurs reportedly plan to meet with Leonard this offseason to mend the relationship, but the team is nonetheless at a crossroads.

Leonard is eligible for a max contract extension with the Spurs, but there is hesitancy about giving that kind of contract to a player who might not be healthy and might not want to be there.

The Spurs could potentially look to trade Leonard if he indicates he no longer wants to be with the team.

To understand Kawhi Leonard’s current chasm with the San Antonio Spurs, consider the last time the organization faced a crossroads with its franchise star.

In 2000, Tim Duncan, then 24, was a free agent and heavily considering leaving the Spurs for the Orlando Magic.

Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich and Duncan had several meetings in which they discussed the future of the Spurs, with Duncan expressing concern about the direction of the franchise. As Popovich told Ian Thomsen in his new book, “The Soul of Basketball,” one factor, in particular, made the meetings productive and eventually led Duncan to re-sign with the Spurs.

“And so it was just like that, back and forth, but we sat there together,” Popovich told Thomsen of his meetings with Duncan. “It wasn’t like he was with his agent, and I’m calling, and we’re doing the separate kind of baloney. We did it together. Just figuring out what would be best.”

Popovich’s memory of the discussions reflects on where the Spurs currently stand with Leonard. Leonard, a two-time All-Star, two-time Defensive Player of the Year, and Finals MVP, missed all but nine games this season while rehabbing a quadriceps injury. He spent the latter weeks of the season away from the team, rehabbing with his advisors and doctors in New York City.

Consider what Popovich told reporters about Leonard’s status in April following a Game 1 playoff loss to the Golden State Warriors.

“You’ll have to ask Kawhi and his group that question,” Popovich told reporters. “So far, they say that he’s not ready to go.”

The quote caught the NBA world’s attention. “Group” not only indicated that Leonard was working outside of the Spurs’ domain but suggested a detachment from the Spurs. Popovich didn’t sound thrilled about the arrangement. He continually referenced Leonard’s “group” when asked about the star forward.

Leonard’s group reportedly included outside doctors, his agent, and his uncle, who is advising him. The Spurs had staff members there, too, but it wasn’t the typical setup teams are used to — certainly not the Spurs, who have been the face of stability in the NBA for two decades.

At the root of the issue is a disagreement over Leonard’s injury, as ESPN’s Ramona Shelburne and Michael C. Wright outlined. The Spurs and Leonard’s camp viewed Leonard’s injury differently, and as Leonard struggled to recover last summer, his camp felt the Spurs dragged their feet on getting second opinions. It has reportedly turned into an issue of what’s best for Leonard, and to whom he is listening. Spurs doctors cleared Leonard to play in 2018, but he did not return, feeling he wasn’t ready. Since then, the gulf has only seemed to widen.

According to one league source, there’s a sense of schadenfreude around the league that the Spurs, seemingly invulnerable to drama and inner-turmoil, are at last dealing with what the source described as “living the life everyone else has had to live for 20 years.”

Now, the Spurs head into an offseason that puts them at a crossroads unlike anything we’ve seen from the NBA’s model franchise. At the center of it is a top-five player that seemed primed to steer the Spurs from the Duncan era to the next without a hitch.

A meeting with Leonard is reportedly the Spurs’ top priority this offseason. From there, nobody is sure what’s next.

There’s no doubting that Leonard is injured.

NBA Hall of Famer and Turner Sports NBA analyst Grant Hill can understand the pressure Leonard may be feeling.

Though Hill emphasized he doesn’t know any specifics of Leonard’s situation, he can understand ignoring a team’s medical staff. Hill played just 135 games of a possible 492 from ages 28 to 33, his prime, while dealing with ankle issues. He has some regrets about how it was handled.

“I think in my case, I always sort of deferred to our team doctors to whether I was cleared to play,” Hill told Business Insider. “And I never went against the team and said I’m trying to play when they’re trying to hold me out. And I think everyone knows what happened to me.

“Like I said, I want to qualify by saying I don’t know the situation [in San Antonio]. I can only speak on my own experience. So, I just do know that just because a team doctor says it’s okay, I had times where I was cleared by team doctors, and in retrospect, had no business being out there and contributed to my whole ordeal. It was horribly mismanaged. And so I wish I had someone, whether it was an outside doctor or someone on my team or my behalf, speaking up for me and saying, ‘No, big picture, we want you to get right.’ I missed a good portion of my career, and it fully affected my career afterwards.”

Not everyone has been so understanding of Leonard’s situation.

In March, Tony Parker took a not-so-thinly-veiled shot at Leonard, saying he went through a quadriceps injury that was worse and still returned.

“I’ve been through it,” Parker told reporters. “It was a rehab for me for eight months. Same kind of injury [as Kawhi], but mine was a hundred times worse. But the same kind of injury. You just stay positive.”

Parker also insisted that he trusted the Spurs’ team doctors and did not need to seek outside counsel.

Frustration within the Spurs boiled over during the season when there was a players-only meeting with Leonard in which his teammates asked him what was going on. ESPN reported the meeting was “tense” and “emotional” at times, though some Spurs players disputed that. Leonard reportedly held strong that he was doing what was best for him and was not swayed to return to the court.

One source with knowledge of the Spurs noted how bizarre the situation has been because the Spurs have historically been one of the most cautious teams with injuries. They famously sat Duncan out of the 2000 playoffs after he tore his meniscus. Duncan could have returned, but the Spurs did not bring him back out of precaution. Many think it paid dividends in Duncan’s longevity.

According to this source, Popovich will sometimes make players come to him and ask to return to the court, even if doctors have cleared them. At times, players have to beg to return to show they’re truly ready to get back out there. Popovich has also kept players on the bench for an extra game or two even after they’ve been cleared, just to be safe.

Leonard’s situation is the opposite. The Spurs cleared him, and he hasn’t returned. Not everyone has understood that decision, only fueling the fire. A league source noted that by publicly declaring that they had cleared him, the Spurs left Leonard out to dry. They made it appear as if his agency was more concerned with his well-being than the team.

“If someone’s hurt and they don’t have peace of mind, and they’re not ready, then they shouldn’t come back,” Hill said. “It’s never for someone else to try and say if someone’s hurt or not. I know because I lived it. I went against my better judgment at times and went against what my gut and my instincts were telling me at times because the so-called experts said I was good.”

He added: “Your body talks to you. You just have to learn to listen to it.”

Outside motivations?

In the NBA, disputes between players and teams seldom fail to grow bigger than the initial issue. In Leonard’s case, it’s not just a question of if he’s going to return — it’s if he will return as a member of the Spurs.

The entire NBA world has wondered if Leonard has his eyes on other teams and is using his injury to force the Spurs’ hand. Multiple reports have indicated that other teams plan on making a run at Leonard this offseason.

A league source told Business Insider that Leonard’s agency and family have never been fond of Texas and feel that San Antonio, a small market, has hurt Leonard’s marketability when it comes to sponsors. The same source said Leonard’s shy personality is more to blame for his inability to get more sponsorships than San Antonio’s market size.

The source with knowledge of the Spurs disputed that claim. The person was never aware that Leonard’s camp was ever unhappy with San Antonio.

In March, ESPN reported that talks between Leonard and Jordan Brand over a new shoe deal had stalled over a contract dispute, with Leonard’s camp feeling the $20 million offer from Jordan did not match Leonard’s standing in the league. Shelburne and Wright reported that Leonard has never seemed to concern himself with marketing, leaving his representation to handle the business side of things.

Leonard’s agent, Mitch Frankel, did not respond to several requests for interviews from Business Insider.

ESPN reported that Spurs GM R.C. Buford has lost sleep over the Leonard saga, with a team-wide fear that Leonard could have his eyes on a bigger market.

In some of his only public comments while injured, Leonard told reporters he was happy with the Spurs and could “for sure” see him ending his career there.

It wouldn’t be the first time a player has imposed his will on a franchise to move to another location. For instance, Cleveland.com’s Joe Vardon reported that when Kyrie Irving asked for a trade from the Cleveland Cavaliers last summer, he threatened to sit out the season to get knee surgery if they did not trade him. Irving still had two years left on his deal, not much leverage by some standards, but the Cavs eventually acquiesced and traded him to the Boston Celtics.

The Spurs may be under more pressure, with Leonard hitting free agency in 2019.

The $219 million question.

Hanging over all of this is that Leonard is eligible for the so-called “supermax,” a five-year, $219 million contract that only the Spurs can offer, this summer.

Last season, when Leonard produced a career year and finished third in MVP voting, extending such an offer would have seemed like a no-brainer.

But the current saga has threatened the deal. ESPN reported that discussions over the deal are taking place now, with both sides unsure of what’s to come.

The league source said that giving Leonard the supermax this offseason might be unwise. The Spurs don’t have to extend the offer this summer, and there are questions about making such a commitment when the team is unsure of the state of his health and desire to be there.

Turning down such a deal would be unprecedented in the NBA, and it’s the reason some think Leonard and the Spurs will make amends if the Spurs do offer it. If Leonard still wanted out but couldn’t turn down the money, he could follow in the footsteps of Carmelo Anthony, who famously sealed a more lucrative extension with the Denver Nuggets in 2011 before requesting a trade to the New York Knicks.

There are other alternatives. Former Brooklyn Nets assistant GM and current ESPN analyst Bobby Marks told Business Insider that the Spurs could try to only partially guarantee the contract, similar to what the Philadelphia 76ers did with Joel Embiid. Marks noted that Leonard might not be open to such a deal, given his relative health and standing in the league, whereas Embiid had been injured for most of his career when he signed the agreement.

Marks also said the Spurs could wait out an extension until training camp next season to see how Leonard returned. Of course, by that time, they would have lost two to three months to deal Leonard. Opposing teams would have less time with Leonard, meaning they’d offer less in a trade than what Leonard is genuinely worth.

That’s another path this saga could take for the Spurs. What if the Spurs meet with Leonard and he tells them he’s done, that the relationship is irreparable and he wants out? The league source explained a contingency plan the Spurs should have.

“If you met him at the practice facility and he sat across from Pop and said, ‘There’s nothing you can do to keep me here, I don’t trust you, I don’t trust the medical staff, I’m out,’ I would have a deal lined up where I could trade him before he made it to his car. Because if you don’t do that, if you don’t trade him before it’s known that the reconciliation’s failed, you’ll get way less.”

The Spurs are on the clock, with Leonard’s free agency just over a year away. What they can’t afford to do is let Leonard’s deal run out without getting anything back for him. If he is uninterested in sticking around, the Spurs’ decision might be made for them.

There is faith in the Spurs’ way.

The situation isn’t apples-to-apples, but the Spurs faced a somewhat similar dilemma last offseason when LaMarcus Aldridge told Popovich he would like to be traded. Popovich openly told reporters this season that instead of following Aldridge’s wishes, he sat him down, talked out the issues, and convinced him to stay. Aldridge produced his finest season with the Spurs, and though the Leonard saga overshadowed it, led them to the playoffs. Sound familiar?

There’s some faith around the NBA that the Spurs will do the same this offseason. Such is the power of Popovich and Co.

“Pop and R.C. are masters at working through communication or misunderstanding or relationships,” said the source with knowledge of the Spurs.

“They’ve always been able to force the reality that they want to create into existence,” the league source said. “They’ve always been able to make things happen the way they want them to.”

ESPN reported that the divide between Leonard and the Spurs isn’t absolute — Leonard and Popovich reportedly still communicate and Leonard reportedly still talks to some other Spurs players.

But Marks noted that isn’t a typical situation.

“This is just a little bit different because it’s a player that has been injured since September, has been cleared at some point of the year and basically, there’s been an agreement between the Spurs and his camp that his doctor will clear him to return. I’ve never seen that before. I really haven’t,” Mark said. “And it’s a top-five player who’s going into a summer where he can get $219 million. So it’s like all of the things [that could] line up have lined up here.”

Speculation abounds because there’s no sense of what will happen next. It seems unclear to both the Spurs and Leonard’s camp what the future holds, but there is potential for it to shake up the league.

Join the conversation about this story »

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The Very Best of the Moz Blog 2017: Our Top 50 Posts

The Very Best of the Moz Blog 2017: Our Top 50 Posts

Posted by FeliciaCrawford

Now, I know we technically have a few days left in 2017, but I'm ready to dive head-first into a fond, full-blown retrospective. Each year we look back on what we've published, compiling and sharing the pieces you liked best. Normally we divvy it up via various metrics: traffic, 1Metric score, total thumbs up, total comments, the best of YouMoz, and so on and so forth. This year, however, we're doing things just a little differently.

A lot has changed in the past year...

The way we run the blog has changed in a few significant ways from the days of yesteryear. YouMoz, our user-generated content blog, was retired in the autumn of 2016 (though we hope to resurrect it in another form someday). We reduced our publishing frequency a bit, and refocused our content on core SEO topics after spending 2015 and 2016 branching out into other marketing subjects (like social media and content marketing). We also made some big changes with regards to commenting: we closed comments on posts older than 30 days (they became veritable spam factories), and implemented stricter moderation filters to better catch spammy comments fishing for either a link or easy MozPoints.

And if I'm being completely honest, I don't think the "Best of" posts from years past have offered you, our beloved readers, as much value as they should've. The most excited comments on those posts occur when someone discovers a gem they'd missed, when a post reaches out to you from the masses of online content clamoring for your attention and speaks to you. The way we formerly ranked "the best" resulted in a lot of overlap; the same few posts with lots of thumbs up, a busy comments section, and high traffic overwhelmed the leaderboard.

What criteria now determines "best"?

At the end of 2017, we're starting fresh. First, I've taken our ten most popular blog post categories by traffic — these represent the topics readers are actively seeking information on. Next, I thought about which metric matters most to me when I consider the success of a blog post. Traffic, thumbs, social shares... Nice to see, yes, but they don't paint a very clear picture of a post's impact. I found myself returning to my favorite blog post metric again and again: the comments.

A post with a lively comments section can be many things. Perhaps it sparked questions or debate; perhaps the findings were controversial; perhaps it was simply inspiring. Whatever the reason, a heavily commented-on post represents something that struck a chord, that convinced a person to peek out from behind their keyboard shield and contribute a thought, something that coaxed a little extra effort and commitment from our community. As a silent lurker myself, I am consistently blown away by the humility, genius, and generosity you all display in the blog comments section every day.

So there we have it: this year's Best of the Moz Blog 2017 is a list of the top five most-commented posts in the top ten blog categories. That's fifty unique blog posts throughout the year on a variety of topics, some of which you may have missed. Most blog posts fall into several of our categories, but every post will only be listed once; if it's hit the top five in a more popular category, I've taken it out of the running for the rest. It's my sincere hope that this list uncovers something useful for you, something that helps make your job and day just a little easier.

Without further ado, let's get this party started!

(If you're curious, check out the Best of 2016 and the Best of 2015, too.)

The top 5 Whiteboard Fridays

Whiteboard Friday is far and away our most popular blog category, earning three times as much traffic as the rest. Because it always overlaps with at least one other category, you're bound to get a tidy grab bag of SEO takeaways with this list!

10 Things that DO NOT (Directly) Affect Your Google Rankings

Rand Fishkin, September 22nd

Thumbs: 85 Comments: 180

What do the age of your site, your headline H1/H2 preference, bounce rate, and shared hosting all have in common? You might've gotten a hint from the title: not a single one of them directly affects your Google rankings. In this rather comforting Whiteboard Friday, Rand lists out ten factors commonly thought to influence your rankings that Google simply doesn't care about.

What Do Google's New, Longer Snippets Mean for SEO?

Rand Fishkin, December 8th

Thumbs: 100 Comments: 136

Featured snippets and meta descriptions have brand-new character limits, and it's a huge change for Google and SEOs alike. Learn about what's new, when it changed, and what it all means for SEO in this episode of Whiteboard Friday. (And this is cheating, but for good measure, you might follow up with Dr. Pete's official recommendation for meta description lengths in 2018.)

What Links Can You Get that Comply with Google's Guidelines?

Marie Haynes, January 20th

Thumbs: 68 Comments: 112

If you've ever been the victim of a Google penalty, you know how painful it can be to identify the problem and recover from the hit. Even if you've been penalty-free thus far, the threat of getting penalized is a source of worry. But how can you avoid it, when it seems like unnatural links lurk around every corner?

In this Whiteboard Friday, we warmly welcome Google penalty and unnatural link expert Marie Haynes as she shares how to earn links that do comply with Google's guidelines, that will keep your site out of trouble, and that can make a real impact.

7 ‹Title Tag› Hacks for Increased Rankings + Traffic - Whiteboard Friday

Cyrus Shepard, May 5th

Thumbs: 185 Comments: 103

You may find yourself wondering whether the humble title tag still matters in modern SEO. When it comes to your click-through rate, the answer is a resounding yes! In this Whiteboard Friday, we welcome back our good friend Cyrus Shepard to talk about 7 ways you can revamp your title tags to increase your site traffic and rankings.

Comment Marketing: How to Earn Benefits from Community Participation

Rand Fishkin, January 13th

Thumbs: 53 Comments: 97

It's been a few years since we've covered the topic of comment marketing, but that doesn't mean it's out of date. There are clever, intentional ways to market yourself and your brand in the comments sections of sites, and there's less competition now than ever before. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand details what you can do to get noticed in the comments and the benefits you'll reap from high-quality contributions.

The top 5 posts in On-Page SEO

The results of our recent Moz Blog Reader Survey highlighted on-page SEO as the topic you'd most like to learn about, so it's not surprising to see that this category sits right under Whiteboard Friday for popularity. There's an interesting theme that emerges from these top posts: it seems we're still working on many of the same things, but how we treat them has necessarily changed over time.

How Links in Headers, Footers, Content, and Navigation Can Impact SEO - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, October 20th

Thumbs: 68 Comments: 92

Which link is more valuable: the one in your nav, or the one in the content of your page? Now, how about if one of those in-content links is an image, and one is text? Not all links are created equal, and getting familiar with the details will help you build a stronger linking structure. This Whiteboard Friday covers links in headers and footers, in navigation versus content, and how that can affect internal and external links, link equity, and link value between your site and others.

It's Time to Stop Doing On-Page SEO Like It's 2012

Rand Fishkin, February 6th

Thumbs: 84 Comments: 91

On-page SEO has evolved in the past five years. Rand outlines the changes in five succinct tactics: move beyond keyword repetition rules; searcher intent matters more than raw keywords; related topics are essential; links don't always beat on-page; and topical authority is more important than ever.

The Wonderful World of SEO Meta Tags [Refreshed for 2017]

Kate Morris, April 13th

Thumbs: 46 Comments: 67

Which meta tags are absolutely necessary, which are dependent on your situation, and which should you absolutely ignore or remove? Kate Morris refreshes her original 2010 post on the subject of meta tags, sharing a few new tips and reiterating what's remained the same over the past 7 years.

Designing a Page's Content Flow to Maximize SEO Opportunity - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, December 1st

Thumbs: 54 Comments: 48

Controlling and improving the flow of your on-site content can actually help your SEO. What's the best way to capitalize on the opportunity present in your page design? Rand covers the questions you need to ask (and answer) and the goals you should strive for in this edition of Whiteboard Friday.

How to Do a Content Audit [Updated for 2017]

Everett Sizemore, March 22nd

Thumbs: 49 Comments: 31

Learn how to do content audits for SEO in this comprehensive, updated guide by Everett Sizemore, including tips for crawling large websites, rendering JavaScript content, and auditing dynamic mobile content.

The top 5 posts in Local SEO

Local SEO overlaps with what we think of as traditional SEO in many ways, so it's not surprising at all to see this category near the top. There's still a lot of doubt and apprehension, it seems, when it comes to local SEO best practices and what really works, and the top posts in this category reflect that.

Local SEO Spam Tactics Are Working: How You Can Fight Back

Casey Meraz, March 28th

Thumbs: 48 Comments: 75

It's very clear that spam tactics in Google's local results are earning higher rankings. In this post, Casey Meraz identifies exactly what spammers are doing to get ahead, what they can get away with, and what you can do to fight back against the problem plaguing local results.

Not-Actually-the-Best Local SEO Practices

Miriam Ellis, December 11th

Thumbs: 47 Comments: 72

Not all common practices in local SEO are the best practices. In fact, some of them can be pretty darn harmful. Check out Miriam's list of what-not-to-dos (and what-you-should-actually-dos) in this comprehensive blog post.

The 2017 Local SEO Forecast: 10 Predictions According to Mozzers

Miriam Ellis, February 14th

Thumbs: 35 Comments: 67

From Google providing intimate details about businesses to Amazon expanding even further into the local scene, local SEO stood to see a lot of change this year. Check out what the SEOs at Moz had to say about what to prepare for in 2017.

Proximity to Searcher is the New #1 Local Search Ranking Factor

Darren Shaw, February 22nd

Thumbs: 58 Comments: 65

Forget everything you thought you knew about the most impactful local ranking factors — searcher proximity just may be the number-one thing influencing where a local business shows on the SERPs.

How to Perform a Basic Local Business Competitive Audit

Miriam Ellis, August 22nd

Thumbs: 32 Comments: 65

Are you outranked in Google's Local Pack? Then it's high time to perform a competitive business audit. Use this example analysis and downloadable spreadsheet to analyze the strengths and weaknesses of multiple businesses and devise a plan to win.

The top 5 posts in Basic SEO

Basic SEO is another category that enjoys a lot of overlap with other topics; perhaps that's one reason why it's so popular. This year's top posts in this category cover a range of subjects, and all are pretty useful for someone learning (or leveling up in) SEO.

Aren't 301s, 302s, and Canonicals All Basically the Same? - Whiteboard Friday

Dr. Pete, March 3rd

Thumbs: 62 Comments: 69

They say history repeats itself. In the case of the great 301 vs 302 vs rel=canonical debate, it repeats itself about every three months. In this Whiteboard Friday, Dr. Pete explains how bots and humans experience pages differently depending on which solution you use, why it matters, and how each choice may be treated by Google.

How to Prioritize SEO Tasks [+Worksheet]

Britney Muller, September 21st

Thumbs: 41 Comments: 64

An absolute essential if you want to keep yourself from getting overwhelmed, Moz's own SEO Britney Muller offers five tips for prioritizing your SEO work: setting specific goals, identifying important pages for conversions, uncovering technical opportunities via a site crawl, time management, and providing consistent benchmarks and reporting.

5 Tactics to Earn Links Without Having to Directly Ask - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, July 28th

Thumbs: 71 Comments: 63

Typical link outreach is a tired sport, and we've all but alienated most content creators with our constant link requests. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand outlines five smart ways to earn links to your site without having to beg.

"SEO Is Always Changing"... Or Is It?: Debunking the Myth and Getting Back to Basics

Bridget Randolph, July 19th

Thumbs: 56 Comments: 60

We're so fond of the idea that SEO is hard because it's always changing. But is that really true? Bridget Randolph challenges a common industry refrain and brings us back to the basics of what's really important in our work.

How to Target Multiple Keywords with One Page - Next Level

Brian Childs, June 15th

Thumbs: 45 Comments: 56

In this edition of our educational Next Level series, you'll learn an easy workflow for researching and targeting multiple keywords with a single page.

The top five posts in Link Building

A thousand years from now, when the Space Needle has toppled into Puget Sound and our great-great-great-great-etc. grandchildren are living on Mars, link building will still prove to be one of the most popular subjects on the Moz Blog. And you get a double-whammy of goodness this year, because they just so happen to all be Whiteboard Fridays!

Should SEOs Care About Internal Links? - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, May 26th

Thumbs: 85 Comments: 87

Internal links are one of those essential SEO items you have to get right to avoid getting them really wrong. Rand shares 18 tips to help inform your strategy, going into detail about their attributes, internal vs. external links, ideal link structures, and much, much more in this edition of Whiteboard Friday.

How to Prioritize Your Link Building Efforts & Opportunities - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, February 17th

Thumbs: 73 Comments: 81

We all know how effective link building efforts can be, but it can be an intimidating, frustrating process — and sometimes even a chore. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand builds out a framework you can start using today to streamline and simplify the link building process for you, your teammates, and yes, even your interns.

The 3 Easiest Link Building Tactics Any Website Can Use to Acquire Their First 50 Links - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, September 8th

Thumbs: 81 Comments: 77

Without a solid base of links, your site won't be competitive in the SERPs — even if you do everything else right. But building your first few links can be difficult and discouraging, especially for new websites. Never fear — Rand is here to share three relatively quick, easy, and tool-free (read: actually free) methods to build that solid base and earn yourself links.

When and How to Use Domain Authority, Page Authority, and Link Count Metrics - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, June 16th

Thumbs: 50 Comments: 71

How can you effectively apply link metrics like Domain Authority and Page Authority alongside your other SEO metrics? Where and when does it make sense to take them into account, and what exactly do they mean? In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand answers these questions and more, arming you with the knowledge you need to better understand and execute your SEO work.

Image Link Building - Whiteboard Friday

Britney Muller, December 15th

Thumbs: 48 Comments: 63

Image link building is a delicate art. There are some distinct considerations from traditional link building, and doing it successfully requires a balance of creativity, curiosity, and having the right tools on hand. In this Whiteboard Friday, Moz's own SEO and link building aficionado Britney Muller offers up concrete advice for successfully building links via images.

The top 5 posts in Advanced SEO

2017's top posts in the advanced SEO category cover just about every post type we like to publish (and that you like to read): in-depth case studies, Whiteboard Fridays, best practice advice, and solid how-tos.

[Case Study] How We Ranked #1 for a High-Volume Keyword in Under 3 Months

Dmitry Dragilev, April 19th

Thumbs: 73 Comments: 140

If you've been struggling to take the number-one spot in the SERPs for a competitive keyword, take a cue from this case study. Dmitry Dragilev shares his team's 8-step methodology for ranking first in a popular niche.

How Google AdWords (PPC) Does and Doesn't Affect Organic Results - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, November 17th

Thumbs: 68 Comments: 89

It's common industry knowledge that PPC can have an effect on our organic results. But what effect is that, exactly, and how does it work? In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand covers the ways paid ads influence organic results — and one very important way they don't.

SEO Best Practices for Canonical URLs + the Rel=Canonical Tag - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, July 14th

Thumbs: 62 Comments: 87

If you've ever had any questions about the canonical tag, well, have we got the Whiteboard Friday for you. In this episode, Rand defines what rel=canonical means and its intended purpose, when it's recommended you use it, how to use it, and sticky situations to avoid.

How to Uncover Hidden Keyword-Level Data Using Google Sheets

Sarah Lively, February 13th

Thumbs: 42 Comments: 83

Which keywords are driving your organic traffic? Keyword-level data doesn't have to be (not provided). Sarah Lively shares a smart solution using two free add-ons for Google Sheets.

How Long Should Your Meta Description Be? (2018 Edition)

Dr. Pete, December 19th

Thumbs: 49 Comments: 76

The end of November saw a spike in the average length of SERP snippets. Across 90K results, we found a definite increase but many oddities, such as video snippets. Our data suggests that many snippets are exceeding 300 characters, and we recommend a new meta description limit of 300 characters.

The top 5 posts in Technical SEO

Technical SEO posts are some of my favorite categories to publish (which is perhaps a strange sentiment coming from a poetry major). The debate that recently raged — about whether it's necessary or unnecessary for SEO — will always stick with many of us, as will Rand's excellent Whiteboard Friday rebuttal on the topic.

XML Sitemaps: The Most Misunderstood Tool in the SEO's Toolbox

Michael Cottam, April 11th

Thumbs: 43 Comments: 83

XML sitemaps are a powerful tool for SEOs, but are often misunderstood and misused. Michael Cottam explains how to leverage XML sitemaps to identify and resolve indexation problems.

JavaScript & SEO: Making Your Bot Experience As Good As Your User Experience

Alexis Sanders, June 20th

Thumbs: 56 Comments: 79

More and more, we're realizing it's incredibly important for us as SEOs to understand JavaScript's impact on search experience. Can search engines see your content and experience your site the way a user does? If not, what solutions can you use to fix it?

Pros and Cons of HTTPS Services: Traditional vs Let's Encrypt vs Cloudflare

JR Ridley, September 13th

Thumbs: 38 Comments: 78

Thinking about going secure? It's more important than ever, with Google issuing security warnings for many non-secure sites in Chrome. This comparison of three popular HTTPS services will help you determine the best option for implementing an SSL certification on your site.

Mastering Google Search Operators in 67 Easy Steps

Dr. Pete, March 1st

Thumbs: 82 Comments: 76

Google search operators are like chess – knowing how the pieces move doesn't make you a master. Dive into 67 examples, from content research to site audits, and level up your search operator game.

Unlocking Hidden Gems Within Schema.org

Alexis Sanders, October 18th

Thumbs: 45 Comments: 69

Schema.org can be a confusing resource if you're trying to learn how to use and implement structured data. This mini-guide arms you with the right kind of thinking to tackle your next structured data project.

The top 5 posts in Keyword Research

The posts generating the most buzz in our keyword research category seem to revolve around quick yet effective wins and tactical advice. And with time constraints being one of the biggest challenges reported in our Reader's Survey, it's really no surprise.

The Lazy Writer’s Guide to 30-Minute Keyword Research

Britney Muller, July 26th

Thumbs: 52 Comments: 54

Keyword research doesn’t have to be a marathon bender. A brisk 30-minute walk can provide incredible insights — insights that connect you with a wider audience on a deeper level. Britney Muller shares several ways to get your keyword research tasks done efficiently and well.

The Keyword + Year Content/Rankings Hack - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, February 10th

Thumbs: 63 Comments: 49

What's the secret to earning site traffic from competitive keywords with decent search volume? The answer could be as easy as 1, 2, 3 — or more precisely, 2, 0, 1, 7. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand lets you in on a relatively straightforward tactic that can help you compete in a tough space using very fresh content.

3 Tactics for Hyperlocal Keywords - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, February 24th

Thumbs: 63 Comments: 47

Trying to target a small, specific region with your keywords can prove frustrating. While reaching a high-intent local audience is incredibly valuable, without volume data to inform your keyword research, you'll find yourself hitting a wall. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand shares how to uncover powerful, laser-focused keywords that will reach exactly the right people.

Which of My Competitor's Keywords Should (& Shouldn't ) I Target? - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, November 24th

Thumbs: 45 Comments: 44

You don't want to try to rank for every one of your competitors' keywords. Like most things with SEO, it's important to be strategic and intentional with your decisions. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand shares his recommended process for understanding your funnel, identifying the right competitors to track, and prioritizing which of their keywords you ought to target.

NEW in Keyword Explorer: See Who Ranks & How Much with Keywords by Site

Rand Fishkin, October 23rd

Thumbs: 41 Comments: 43

It's not often that a product-focused post makes our blog's Best of the Year list, so this is both interesting and heartening to see. We worked really hard to bring better data and more usefulness to Keyword Explorer this year, and y'all left some really kind sentiments in the comments. Thanks for always being here for us, folks! :)

The top 5 posts in Content

I won't say it, I promise. ;) But content is just as important as ever, and the rather vague advice of "create great content and the rest will come" has certainly gotten a bit exhausting over the years. We've made an effort to publish more actionable ways to think about and use content, and it seems like that's been resonating with you so far!

Refurbishing Top Content - Whiteboard Friday

Britney Muller, February 3rd

Thumbs: 66 Comments: 82

You've got top-performing content on your site that does really well. Maybe it's highly converting, maybe it garners the most qualified traffic — but it's just sitting there gathering dust. Isn't there something else you can do with content that's clearly proven its worth?

As it turns out, there is! In this Whiteboard Friday, Britney Muller shares three easy steps for identifying, repurposing, and republishing your top content to juice every drop of goodness out of it.

What We Learned From Analyzing 1.4 Million Featured Snippets

A.J. Ghergich, January 17th

Thumbs: 48 Comments: 78

From optimal snippet length, to practical application tips, to which queries prefer tables, lists, or paragraphs, learn everything you need to know to supercharge your snippet wins.

The Perfect Blog Post Length and Publishing Frequency is B?!!$#÷x - Whiteboard Friday

Rand Fishkin, August 18th

Thumbs: 76 Comments: 65

The perfect blog post length or publishing frequency doesn't actually exist. "Perfect" isn't universal — your content's success depends on tons of personalized factors. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand explains why the idea of "perfect" is baloney when it comes to your blog, and lists what you should actually be looking for in a successful publishing strategy.

Learning to Re-Share: 4 Strategies to Renew, Refresh, and Recycle Content for Bigger Reach

Jen Carney, August 2nd

Thumbs: 31 Comments: 51

You've spend too much time and effort on content creation to share it only once. Check out four smart strategies you can implement today to improve the reach of your existing content.

How to Build the Right Content Marketing Strategy for SEO Growth

Alli Berry, November 15th

Thumbs: 30 Comments: 51

Keywords are important for innumerable SEO tasks, but driving your content marketing strategy isn't one of them. Your strategy should be based on the audience you're trying to reach if you want your organic traffic to convert.

Paid Search Marketing

While it perhaps seems a little strange for an SEO blog to cover, paid search plays an important part in our digital marketing world, and as reported in our Reader's Survey, plenty of us wear more than one hat. Here are the top posts from 2017 that generated the most commentary about all things paid:

Do iPhone Users Spend More Online Than Android Users?

Martin Meany, October 11th

Thumbs: 27 Comments: 71

iPhone users tend to spend 3x as much as Android users, according to an analysis of 31 million mobile e-commerce sessions. Digital marketers can capitalize on this revelation via Facebook and AdWords.

Branding Success: How to Use PPC to Amplify Your Brand

Purna Virji, February 21st

Thumbs: 34 Comments: 44

You might be surprised to learn that branding and PPC go hand-in-hand. Find out how to leverage your PPC campaigns to strengthen your brand and win conversions and loyalty from your customers.

No, Paid Search Audiences Won’t Replace Keywords

Kirk Williams, May 30th

Thumbs: 33 Comments: 29

Keywords or audience targeting? Kirk Williams sets out to argue that far from being dead, keywords are still the most useful tool in the paid search marketer's toolbox.

Paid Social for Content Marketing Launches - Whiteboard Friday

Kane Jamison, September 29th

Thumbs: 31 Comments: 29

Stuck in a content marketing rut? Relying on your existing newsletter, social followers, or email outreach won't do your launches justice. Boosting your signal with paid social both introduces your brand to new audiences and improves your launch's traffic and results. In this Whiteboard Friday, we're welcoming back our good friend Kane Jamison to highlight four straightforward, actionable tactics you can start using ASAP.

The Step-By-Step Guide to Testing Voice Search Via PPC

Purna Virji, March 21st

Thumbs: 30 Comments: 24

Conversational interfaces are becoming more and more popular, but it's hard to know where to start when it comes to voice search. A $50 PPC budget is enough to jumpstart your voice search keyword list and strategy — learn how in this step-by-step guide.

Top comments by thumbs up

Comments are my favorite blog post success metric, and it simply wouldn't do if we didn't honor the folks who contributed the most popular comments in 2017. Thank you, all of you, for sharing your thoughts with the greater Moz and SEO community, and for taking precious time out of your day to make the blog a more interesting and better place. And for all the comment lurkers out there like me, I offer you solemn solidarity and zero judgment (but I'd be delighted to see y'all venture out from behind the screen now and again ;).

1. Praveen Sharma on "10 Things that DO NOT (Directly) Affect Your Google Rankings - Whiteboard Friday" – 58 thumbs up

Short, sweet, accurate, relevant advice is the name of the game. :) We've had feedback before that some readers come to the blog for the comments as much as the post itself, and this example shows why. Thanks for sharing your insight, Praveen!

2. SEOMG on "7 ‹Title Tag› Hacks for Increased Rankings + Traffic - Whiteboard Friday" – 42 thumbs up

Much like the above, this comment exemplifies clear, useful examples related to the post topic. You rock, SEOMG!

3. Praveen Sharma on "The 3 Easiest Link Building Tactics Any Website Can Use to Acquire Their First 50 Links - Whiteboard Friday" – 39 thumbs up

Swooping in again with another helpful tidbit to add to the blog post at hand, Praveen's made it on the Top 10 list twice. We really appreciate your contributions, Praveen!

4. Trevor Klein on "Moz Transitions: Rand to Step Away from Operations and into Advisory Role in Early 2018" – 38 thumbs up

A bittersweet comment that clearly struck a chord with many in our community. Rand, I hope you know how much we all love and appreciate you! And Trevor, thank you so much for your candid and genuine thoughts; you truly spoke for all of us there.

5. Gianluca Fiorelli on "SEO Best Practices for Canonical URLs + the Rel=Canonical Tag - Whiteboard Friday" – 30 thumbs up

Gianluca's comments on the Moz Blog are legendary; each one is a treasure, a miniature blog post in and of itself. Thank you for sharing your smarts with us, Gianluca!

6. Rand Fishkin on "What Do Google's New, Longer Snippets Mean for SEO? - Whiteboard Friday" – 28 thumbs up

By using the comments section to clarify a few points about his Whiteboard Friday video and highlight his advice, Rand adds extra value and oomph to the post as a whole... and the community responded. :) Thank you for always leaving 10X comments, Rand!

7. Eric Hahn on "10 Things that DO NOT (Directly) Affect Your Google Rankings - Whiteboard Friday" – 26 thumbs up

The discussion in the thread spurred by this helpful, on-topic comment is the kind of lively, educational back-and-forth we love to witness. Thank you for inspiring folks to ask questions and learn, Eric!

8. Igor Gorbenko on "What Do Google's New, Longer Snippets Mean for SEO? - Whiteboard Friday" – 25 thumbs up

It makes me really happy that our community has — and rewards — such awesome personality. Igor, thank you for your wit and your insights! ᕕ(⌐■_■)ᕗ ♪♬

9. Tim Soulo on "Moz Transitions: Rand to Step Away from Operations and into Advisory Role in Early 2018" – 22 thumbs up

The blog community definitely resonated with all the heartfelt, personal stories shared on this post. Tim, thank you for sharing!

10. Gianluca Fiorelli on "Comment Marketing: How to Earn Benefits from Community Participation - Whiteboard Friday" – 21 thumbs up

In an incredibly meta turn of events, Gianluca's comment on our Comment Marketing Whiteboard Friday rounds out the list of 2017's top comments on the Moz Blog. I don't think there's a person on this Internet that's done a better job of personal comment marketing than Gianluca! :)

Here's to you!

Thank you all, each and every one of you, for helping to keep our little community a thriving, nurturing place to learn SEO, share ideas, and hey, even make mistakes now and again. It's an honor to have a hand in providing content to such a TAGFEE and brilliant group of people, and I can't describe how excited I am for all that 2018 will bring.

Let me know in the comments how you liked the change-up this year, what other "Best of" formats or lists you might find helpful, and any other ponderings or thoughts you might have — and thank you again for reading!

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

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[mariasolemarionqi]

The Very Best of the Moz Blog 2017: Our Top 50 Posts

Posted by FeliciaCrawford

Now, I know we technically have a few days left in 2017, but I'm ready to dive head-first into a fond, full-blown retrospective. Each year we look back on what we've published, compiling and sharing the pieces you liked best. Normally we divvy it up via various metrics: traffic, 1Metric score, total thumbs up, total comments, the best of YouMoz, and so on and so forth. This year, however, we're doing things just a little differently.

A lot has changed in the past year...

The way we run the blog has changed in a few significant ways from the days of yesteryear. YouMoz, our user-generated content blog, was retired in the autumn of 2016 (though we hope to resurrect it in another form someday). We reduced our publishing frequency a bit, and refocused our content on core SEO topics after spending 2015 and 2016 branching out into other marketing subjects (like social media and content marketing). We also made some big changes with regards to commenting: we closed comments on posts older than 30 days (they became veritable spam factories), and implemented stricter moderation filters to better catch spammy comments fishing for either a link or easy MozPoints.

And if I'm being completely honest, I don't think the "Best of" posts from years past have offered you, our beloved readers, as much value as they should've. The most excited comments on those posts occur when someone discovers a gem they'd missed, when a post reaches out to you from the masses of online content clamoring for your attention and speaks to you. The way we formerly ranked "the best" resulted in a lot of overlap; the same few posts with lots of thumbs up, a busy comments section, and high traffic overwhelmed the leaderboard.

What criteria now determines "best"?

At the end of 2017, we're starting fresh. First, I've taken our ten most popular blog post categories by traffic — these represent the topics readers are actively seeking information on. Next, I thought about which metric matters most to me when I consider the success of a blog post. Traffic, thumbs, social shares... Nice to see, yes, but they don't paint a very clear picture of a post's impact. I found myself returning to my favorite blog post metric again and again: the comments.

A post with a lively comments section can be many things. Perhaps it sparked questions or debate; perhaps the findings were controversial; perhaps it was simply inspiring. Whatever the reason, a heavily commented-on post represents something that struck a chord, that convinced a person to peek out from behind their keyboard shield and contribute a thought, that coaxed a little extra effort and commitment from our community. As a silent lurker myself, I am consistently blown away by the humility, genius, and generosity you all display in the blog comments section every day.

So there we have it: this year's Best of the Moz Blog 2017 is a list of the top five most-commented posts in the top ten blog categories. That's fifty unique blog posts throughout the year on a variety of topics, some of which you may have missed. Most blog posts fall into several of our categories, but every post will only be listed once; if it's hit the top five in a more popular category, I've taken it out of the running for the rest. It's my sincere hope that this list uncovers something useful for you, something that helps make your job and day just a little easier.

Without further ado, let's get this party started!

(If you're curious, check out the Best of 2016 and the Best of 2015, too.)

The top 5 Whiteboard Fridays

Whiteboard Friday is far and away our most popular blog category, earning three times as much traffic as the rest. Because it always overlaps with at least one other category, you're bound to get a tidy grab bag of SEO takeaways with this list!

10 Things that DO NOT (Directly) Affect Your Google Rankings Rand Fishkin, September 22nd

Thumbs: 85 Comments: 180

What do the age of your site, your headline H1/H2 preference, bounce rate, and shared hosting all have in common? You might've gotten a hint from the title: not a single one of them directly affects your Google rankings. In this rather comforting Whiteboard Friday, Rand lists out ten factors commonly thought to influence your rankings that Google simply doesn't care about.

What Do Google's New, Longer Snippets Mean for SEO? Rand Fishkin, December 8th

Thumbs: 100 Comments: 136

Featured snippets and meta descriptions have brand-new character limits, and it's a huge change for Google and SEOs alike. Learn about what's new, when it changed, and what it all means for SEO in this episode of Whiteboard Friday. (And this is cheating, but for good measure, you might follow up with Dr. Pete's official recommendation for meta description lengths in 2018.)

What Links Can You Get that Comply with Google's Guidelines?Marie Haynes, January 20th

Thumbs: 68 Comments: 112

If you've ever been the victim of a Google penalty, you know how painful it can be to identify the problem and recover from the hit. Even if you've been penalty-free thus far, the threat of getting penalized is a source of worry. But how can you avoid it, when it seems like unnatural links lurk around every corner?

In this Whiteboard Friday, we warmly welcome Google penalty and unnatural link expert Marie Haynes as she shares how to earn links that do comply with Google's guidelines, that will keep your site out of trouble, and that can make a real impact.

7 ‹Title Tag› Hacks for Increased Rankings + Traffic - Whiteboard Friday Cyrus Shepard, May 5th

Thumbs: 185 Comments: 103

You may find yourself wondering whether the humble title tag still matters in modern SEO. When it comes to your click-through rate, the answer is a resounding yes! In this Whiteboard Friday, we welcome back our good friend Cyrus Shepard to talk about 7 ways you can revamp your title tags to increase your site traffic and rankings.

Comment Marketing: How to Earn Benefits from Community Participation Rand Fishkin, January 13th

Thumbs: 53 Comments: 97

It's been a few years since we've covered the topic of comment marketing, but that doesn't mean it's out of date. There are clever, intentional ways to market yourself and your brand in the comments sections of sites, and there's less competition now than ever before. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand details what you can do to get noticed in the comments and the benefits you'll reap from high-quality contributions.

The top 5 posts in On-Page SEO

The results of our recent Moz Blog Reader Survey highlighted on-page SEO as the topic you'd most like to learn about, so it's not surprising to see that this category sits right under Whiteboard Friday for popularity. There's an interesting theme that emerges from these top posts: it seems we're still working on many of the same things, but how we treat them has necessarily changed over time.

How Links in Headers, Footers, Content, and Navigation Can Impact SEO - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, October 20th

Thumbs: 68 Comments: 92

Which link is more valuable: the one in your nav, or the one in the content of your page? Now, how about if one of those in-content links is an image, and one is text? Not all links are created equal, and getting familiar with the details will help you build a stronger linking structure. This Whiteboard Friday covers links in headers and footers, in navigation versus content, and how that can affect internal and external links, link equity, and link value between your site and others.

It's Time to Stop Doing On-Page SEO Like It's 2012 Rand Fishkin, February 6th

Thumbs: 84 Comments: 91

On-page SEO has evolved in the past five years. Rand outlines the changes in five succinct tactics: move beyond keyword repetition rules; searcher intent matters more than raw keywords; related topics are essential; links don't always beat on-page; and topical authority is more important than ever.

The Wonderful World of SEO Meta Tags [Refreshed for 2017] Kate Morris, April 13th

Thumbs: 46 Comments: 67

Which meta tags are absolutely necessary, which are dependent on your situation, and which should you absolutely ignore or remove? Kate Morris refreshes her original 2010 post on the subject of meta tags, sharing a few new tips and reiterating what's remained the same over the past 7 years.

Designing a Page's Content Flow to Maximize SEO Opportunity - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, December 1st

Thumbs: 54 Comments: 48

Controlling and improving the flow of your on-site content can actually help your SEO. What's the best way to capitalize on the opportunity present in your page design? Rand covers the questions you need to ask (and answer) and the goals you should strive for in this edition of Whiteboard Friday.

How to Do a Content Audit [Updated for 2017] Everett Sizemore, March 22nd

Thumbs: 49 Comments: 31

Learn how to do content audits for SEO in this comprehensive, updated guide by Everett Sizemore, including tips for crawling large websites, rendering JavaScript content, and auditing dynamic mobile content.

The top 5 posts in Local SEO

Local SEO overlaps with what we think of as traditional SEO in many ways, so it's not surprising at all to see this category near the top. There's still a lot of doubt and apprehension, it seems, when it comes to local SEO best practices and what really works, and the top posts in this category reflect that.

Local SEO Spam Tactics Are Working: How You Can Fight Back Casey Meraz, March 28th

Thumbs: 48 Comments: 75

It's very clear that spam tactics in Google's local results are earning higher rankings. In this post, Casey Meraz identifies exactly what spammers are doing to get ahead, what they can get away with, and what you can do to fight back against the problem plaguing local results.

Not-Actually-the-Best Local SEO Practices Miriam Ellis, December 11th

Thumbs: 47 Comments: 72

Not all common practices in local SEO are the best practices. In fact, some of them can be pretty darn harmful. Check out Miriam's list of what-not-to-dos (and what-you-should-actually-dos) in this comprehensive blog post.

The 2017 Local SEO Forecast: 10 Predictions According to MozzersMiriam Ellis, February 14th

Thumbs: 35 Comments: 67

From Google providing intimate details about businesses to Amazon expanding even further into the local scene, local SEO stood to see a lot of change this year. Check out what the SEOs at Moz had to say about what to prepare for in 2017.

Proximity to Searcher is the New #1 Local Search Ranking Factor Darren Shaw, February 22nd

Thumbs: 58 Comments: 65

Forget everything you thought you knew about the most impactful local ranking factors — searcher proximity just may be the number-one thing influencing where a local business shows on the SERPs.

How to Perform a Basic Local Business Competitive AuditMiriam Ellis, August 22nd

Thumbs: 32 Comments: 65

Are you outranked in Google's Local Pack? Then it's high time to perform a competitive business audit. Use this example analysis and downloadable spreadsheet to analyze the strengths and weaknesses of multiple businesses and devise a plan to win.

The top 5 posts in Basic SEO

Basic SEO is another category that enjoys a lot of overlap with other topics; perhaps that's one reason why it's so popular. This year's top posts in this category cover a range of subjects, and all are pretty useful for someone learning (or leveling up in) SEO.

Aren't 301s, 302s, and Canonicals All Basically the Same? - Whiteboard Friday Dr. Pete, March 3rd

Thumbs: 62 Comments: 69

They say history repeats itself. In the case of the great 301 vs 302 vs rel=canonical debate, it repeats itself about every three months. In this Whiteboard Friday, Dr. Pete explains how bots and humans experience pages differently depending on which solution you use, why it matters, and how each choice may be treated by Google.

How to Prioritize SEO Tasks [+Worksheet] Britney Muller, September 21st

Thumbs: 41 Comments: 64

An absolute essential if you want to keep yourself from getting overwhelmed, Moz's own SEO Britney Muller offers five tips for prioritizing your SEO work: setting specific goals, identifying important pages for conversions, uncovering technical opportunities via a site crawl, time management, and providing consistent benchmarks and reporting.

5 Tactics to Earn Links Without Having to Directly Ask - Whiteboard FridayRand Fishkin, July 28th

Thumbs: 71 Comments: 63

Typical link outreach is a tired sport, and we've all but alienated most content creators with our constant link requests. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand outlines five smart ways to earn links to your site without having to beg.

"SEO Is Always Changing"... Or Is It?: Debunking the Myth and Getting Back to Basics Bridget Randolph, July 19th

Thumbs: 56 Comments: 60

We're so fond of the idea that SEO is hard because it's always changing. But is that really true? Bridget Randolph challenges a common industry refrain and brings us back to the basics of what's really important in our work.

How to Target Multiple Keywords with One Page - Next Level Brian Childs, June 15th

Thumbs: 45 Comments: 56

In this edition of our educational Next Level series, you'll learn an easy workflow for researching and targeting multiple keywords with a single page.

The top five posts in Link Building

A thousand years from now, when the Space Needle has toppled into Puget Sound and our great-great-great-great-etc. grandchildren are living on Mars, link building will still prove to be one of the most popular subjects on the Moz Blog. And you get a double-whammy of goodness this year, because they just so happen to all be Whiteboard Fridays!

Should SEOs Care About Internal Links? - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, May 26th

Thumbs: 85 Comments: 87

Internal links are one of those essential SEO items you have to get right to avoid getting them really wrong. Rand shares 18 tips to help inform your strategy, going into detail about their attributes, internal vs. external links, ideal link structures, and much, much more in this edition of Whiteboard Friday.

How to Prioritize Your Link Building Efforts & Opportunities - Whiteboard FridayRand Fishkin, February 17th

Thumbs: 73 Comments: 81

We all know how effective link building efforts can be, but it can be an intimidating, frustrating process — and sometimes even a chore. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand builds out a framework you can start using today to streamline and simplify the link building process for you, your teammates, and yes, even your interns.

The 3 Easiest Link Building Tactics Any Website Can Use to Acquire Their First 50 Links - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, September 8th

Thumbs: 81 Comments: 77

Without a solid base of links, your site won't be competitive in the SERPs — even if you do everything else right. But building your first few links can be difficult and discouraging, especially for new websites. Never fear — Rand is here to share three relatively quick, easy, and tool-free (read: actually free) methods to build that solid base and earn yourself links.

When and How to Use Domain Authority, Page Authority, and Link Count Metrics - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, June 16th

Thumbs: 50 Comments: 71

How can you effectively apply link metrics like Domain Authority and Page Authority alongside your other SEO metrics? Where and when does it make sense to take them into account, and what exactly do they mean? In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand answers these questions and more, arming you with the knowledge you need to better understand and execute your SEO work.

Image Link Building - Whiteboard FridayBritney Muller, December 15th

Thumbs: 48 Comments: 63

Image link building is a delicate art. There are some distinct considerations from traditional link building, and doing it successfully requires a balance of creativity, curiosity, and having the right tools on hand. In this Whiteboard Friday, Moz's own SEO and link building aficionado Britney Muller offers up concrete advice for successfully building links via images.

The top 5 posts in Advanced SEO

2017's top posts in the advanced SEO category cover just about every post type we like to publish (and that you like to read): in-depth case studies, Whiteboard Fridays, best practice advice, and solid how-tos.

[Case Study] How We Ranked #1 for a High-Volume Keyword in Under 3 Months Dmitry Dragilev, April 19th

Thumbs: 73 Comments: 140

If you've been struggling to take the number-one spot in the SERPs for a competitive keyword, take a cue from this case study. Dmitry Dragilev shares his team's 8-step methodology for ranking first in a popular niche.

How Google AdWords (PPC) Does and Doesn't Affect Organic Results - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, November 17th

Thumbs: 68 Comments: 89

It's common industry knowledge that PPC can have an effect on our organic results. But what effect is that, exactly, and how does it work? In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand covers the ways paid ads influence organic results — and one very important way they don't.

SEO Best Practices for Canonical URLs + the Rel=Canonical Tag - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, July 14th

Thumbs: 62 Comments: 87

If you've ever had any questions about the canonical tag, well, have we got the Whiteboard Friday for you. In this episode, Rand defines what rel=canonical means and its intended purpose, when it's recommended you use it, how to use it, and sticky situations to avoid.

How to Uncover Hidden Keyword-Level Data Using Google SheetsSarah Lively, February 13th

Thumbs: 42 Comments: 83

Which keywords are driving your organic traffic? Keyword-level data doesn't have to be (not provided). Sarah Lively shares a smart solution using two free add-ons for Google Sheets.

How Long Should Your Meta Description Be? (2018 Edition)Dr. Pete, December 19th

Thumbs: 49 Comments: 76

The end of November saw a spike in the average length of SERP snippets. Across 90K results, we found a definite increase but many oddities, such as video snippets. Our data suggests that many snippets are exceeding 300 characters, and we recommend a new meta description limit of 300 characters.

The top 5 posts in Technical SEO

Technical SEO posts are some of my favorite categories to publish (which is perhaps a strange sentiment coming from a poetry major). The debate that recently raged — about whether it's necessary or unnecessary for SEO — will always stick with many of us, as will Rand's excellent Whiteboard Friday rebuttal on the topic.

XML Sitemaps: The Most Misunderstood Tool in the SEO's Toolbox Michael Cottam, April 11th

Thumbs: 43 Comments: 83

XML sitemaps are a powerful tool for SEOs,..

http://ift.tt/2pMlnv2

[kraussoutene]

The Very Best of the Moz Blog 2017: Our Top 50 Posts

Posted by FeliciaCrawford

Now, I know we technically have a few days left in 2017, but I'm ready to dive head-first into a fond, full-blown retrospective. Each year we look back on what we've published, compiling and sharing the pieces you liked best. Normally we divvy it up via various metrics: traffic, 1Metric score, total thumbs up, total comments, the best of YouMoz, and so on and so forth. This year, however, we're doing things just a little differently.

A lot has changed in the past year...

The way we run the blog has changed in a few significant ways from the days of yesteryear. YouMoz, our user-generated content blog, was retired in the autumn of 2016 (though we hope to resurrect it in another form someday). We reduced our publishing frequency a bit, and refocused our content on core SEO topics after spending 2015 and 2016 branching out into other marketing subjects (like social media and content marketing). We also made some big changes with regards to commenting: we closed comments on posts older than 30 days (they became veritable spam factories), and implemented stricter moderation filters to better catch spammy comments fishing for either a link or easy MozPoints.

And if I'm being completely honest, I don't think the "Best of" posts from years past have offered you, our beloved readers, as much value as they should've. The most excited comments on those posts occur when someone discovers a gem they'd missed, when a post reaches out to you from the masses of online content clamoring for your attention and speaks to you. The way we formerly ranked "the best" resulted in a lot of overlap; the same few posts with lots of thumbs up, a busy comments section, and high traffic overwhelmed the leaderboard.

What criteria now determines "best"?

At the end of 2017, we're starting fresh. First, I've taken our ten most popular blog post categories by traffic — these represent the topics readers are actively seeking information on. Next, I thought about which metric matters most to me when I consider the success of a blog post. Traffic, thumbs, social shares... Nice to see, yes, but they don't paint a very clear picture of a post's impact. I found myself returning to my favorite blog post metric again and again: the comments.

A post with a lively comments section can be many things. Perhaps it sparked questions or debate; perhaps the findings were controversial; perhaps it was simply inspiring. Whatever the reason, a heavily commented-on post represents something that struck a chord, that convinced a person to peek out from behind their keyboard shield and contribute a thought, that coaxed a little extra effort and commitment from our community. As a silent lurker myself, I am consistently blown away by the humility, genius, and generosity you all display in the blog comments section every day.

So there we have it: this year's Best of the Moz Blog 2017 is a list of the top five most-commented posts in the top ten blog categories. That's fifty unique blog posts throughout the year on a variety of topics, some of which you may have missed. Most blog posts fall into several of our categories, but every post will only be listed once; if it's hit the top five in a more popular category, I've taken it out of the running for the rest. It's my sincere hope that this list uncovers something useful for you, something that helps make your job and day just a little easier.

Without further ado, let's get this party started!

(If you're curious, check out the Best of 2016 and the Best of 2015, too.)

The top 5 Whiteboard Fridays

Whiteboard Friday is far and away our most popular blog category, earning three times as much traffic as the rest. Because it always overlaps with at least one other category, you're bound to get a tidy grab bag of SEO takeaways with this list!

10 Things that DO NOT (Directly) Affect Your Google Rankings Rand Fishkin, September 22nd

Thumbs: 85 Comments: 180

What do the age of your site, your headline H1/H2 preference, bounce rate, and shared hosting all have in common? You might've gotten a hint from the title: not a single one of them directly affects your Google rankings. In this rather comforting Whiteboard Friday, Rand lists out ten factors commonly thought to influence your rankings that Google simply doesn't care about.

What Do Google's New, Longer Snippets Mean for SEO? Rand Fishkin, December 8th

Thumbs: 100 Comments: 136

Featured snippets and meta descriptions have brand-new character limits, and it's a huge change for Google and SEOs alike. Learn about what's new, when it changed, and what it all means for SEO in this episode of Whiteboard Friday. (And this is cheating, but for good measure, you might follow up with Dr. Pete's official recommendation for meta description lengths in 2018.)

What Links Can You Get that Comply with Google's Guidelines?Marie Haynes, January 20th

Thumbs: 68 Comments: 112

If you've ever been the victim of a Google penalty, you know how painful it can be to identify the problem and recover from the hit. Even if you've been penalty-free thus far, the threat of getting penalized is a source of worry. But how can you avoid it, when it seems like unnatural links lurk around every corner?

In this Whiteboard Friday, we warmly welcome Google penalty and unnatural link expert Marie Haynes as she shares how to earn links that do comply with Google's guidelines, that will keep your site out of trouble, and that can make a real impact.

7 ‹Title Tag› Hacks for Increased Rankings + Traffic - Whiteboard Friday Cyrus Shepard, May 5th

Thumbs: 185 Comments: 103

You may find yourself wondering whether the humble title tag still matters in modern SEO. When it comes to your click-through rate, the answer is a resounding yes! In this Whiteboard Friday, we welcome back our good friend Cyrus Shepard to talk about 7 ways you can revamp your title tags to increase your site traffic and rankings.

Comment Marketing: How to Earn Benefits from Community Participation Rand Fishkin, January 13th

Thumbs: 53 Comments: 97

It's been a few years since we've covered the topic of comment marketing, but that doesn't mean it's out of date. There are clever, intentional ways to market yourself and your brand in the comments sections of sites, and there's less competition now than ever before. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand details what you can do to get noticed in the comments and the benefits you'll reap from high-quality contributions.

The top 5 posts in On-Page SEO

The results of our recent Moz Blog Reader Survey highlighted on-page SEO as the topic you'd most like to learn about, so it's not surprising to see that this category sits right under Whiteboard Friday for popularity. There's an interesting theme that emerges from these top posts: it seems we're still working on many of the same things, but how we treat them has necessarily changed over time.

How Links in Headers, Footers, Content, and Navigation Can Impact SEO - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, October 20th

Thumbs: 68 Comments: 92

Which link is more valuable: the one in your nav, or the one in the content of your page? Now, how about if one of those in-content links is an image, and one is text? Not all links are created equal, and getting familiar with the details will help you build a stronger linking structure. This Whiteboard Friday covers links in headers and footers, in navigation versus content, and how that can affect internal and external links, link equity, and link value between your site and others.

It's Time to Stop Doing On-Page SEO Like It's 2012 Rand Fishkin, February 6th

Thumbs: 84 Comments: 91

On-page SEO has evolved in the past five years. Rand outlines the changes in five succinct tactics: move beyond keyword repetition rules; searcher intent matters more than raw keywords; related topics are essential; links don't always beat on-page; and topical authority is more important than ever.

The Wonderful World of SEO Meta Tags [Refreshed for 2017] Kate Morris, April 13th

Thumbs: 46 Comments: 67

Which meta tags are absolutely necessary, which are dependent on your situation, and which should you absolutely ignore or remove? Kate Morris refreshes her original 2010 post on the subject of meta tags, sharing a few new tips and reiterating what's remained the same over the past 7 years.

Designing a Page's Content Flow to Maximize SEO Opportunity - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, December 1st

Thumbs: 54 Comments: 48

Controlling and improving the flow of your on-site content can actually help your SEO. What's the best way to capitalize on the opportunity present in your page design? Rand covers the questions you need to ask (and answer) and the goals you should strive for in this edition of Whiteboard Friday.

How to Do a Content Audit [Updated for 2017] Everett Sizemore, March 22nd

Thumbs: 49 Comments: 31

Learn how to do content audits for SEO in this comprehensive, updated guide by Everett Sizemore, including tips for crawling large websites, rendering JavaScript content, and auditing dynamic mobile content.

The top 5 posts in Local SEO

Local SEO overlaps with what we think of as traditional SEO in many ways, so it's not surprising at all to see this category near the top. There's still a lot of doubt and apprehension, it seems, when it comes to local SEO best practices and what really works, and the top posts in this category reflect that.

Local SEO Spam Tactics Are Working: How You Can Fight Back Casey Meraz, March 28th

Thumbs: 48 Comments: 75

It's very clear that spam tactics in Google's local results are earning higher rankings. In this post, Casey Meraz identifies exactly what spammers are doing to get ahead, what they can get away with, and what you can do to fight back against the problem plaguing local results.

Not-Actually-the-Best Local SEO Practices Miriam Ellis, December 11th

Thumbs: 47 Comments: 72

Not all common practices in local SEO are the best practices. In fact, some of them can be pretty darn harmful. Check out Miriam's list of what-not-to-dos (and what-you-should-actually-dos) in this comprehensive blog post.

The 2017 Local SEO Forecast: 10 Predictions According to MozzersMiriam Ellis, February 14th

Thumbs: 35 Comments: 67

From Google providing intimate details about businesses to Amazon expanding even further into the local scene, local SEO stood to see a lot of change this year. Check out what the SEOs at Moz had to say about what to prepare for in 2017.

Proximity to Searcher is the New #1 Local Search Ranking Factor Darren Shaw, February 22nd

Thumbs: 58 Comments: 65

Forget everything you thought you knew about the most impactful local ranking factors — searcher proximity just may be the number-one thing influencing where a local business shows on the SERPs.

How to Perform a Basic Local Business Competitive AuditMiriam Ellis, August 22nd

Thumbs: 32 Comments: 65

Are you outranked in Google's Local Pack? Then it's high time to perform a competitive business audit. Use this example analysis and downloadable spreadsheet to analyze the strengths and weaknesses of multiple businesses and devise a plan to win.

The top 5 posts in Basic SEO

Basic SEO is another category that enjoys a lot of overlap with other topics; perhaps that's one reason why it's so popular. This year's top posts in this category cover a range of subjects, and all are pretty useful for someone learning (or leveling up in) SEO.

Aren't 301s, 302s, and Canonicals All Basically the Same? - Whiteboard Friday Dr. Pete, March 3rd

Thumbs: 62 Comments: 69

They say history repeats itself. In the case of the great 301 vs 302 vs rel=canonical debate, it repeats itself about every three months. In this Whiteboard Friday, Dr. Pete explains how bots and humans experience pages differently depending on which solution you use, why it matters, and how each choice may be treated by Google.

How to Prioritize SEO Tasks [+Worksheet] Britney Muller, September 21st

Thumbs: 41 Comments: 64

An absolute essential if you want to keep yourself from getting overwhelmed, Moz's own SEO Britney Muller offers five tips for prioritizing your SEO work: setting specific goals, identifying important pages for conversions, uncovering technical opportunities via a site crawl, time management, and providing consistent benchmarks and reporting.

5 Tactics to Earn Links Without Having to Directly Ask - Whiteboard FridayRand Fishkin, July 28th

Thumbs: 71 Comments: 63

Typical link outreach is a tired sport, and we've all but alienated most content creators with our constant link requests. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand outlines five smart ways to earn links to your site without having to beg.

"SEO Is Always Changing"... Or Is It?: Debunking the Myth and Getting Back to Basics Bridget Randolph, July 19th

Thumbs: 56 Comments: 60

We're so fond of the idea that SEO is hard because it's always changing. But is that really true? Bridget Randolph challenges a common industry refrain and brings us back to the basics of what's really important in our work.

How to Target Multiple Keywords with One Page - Next Level Brian Childs, June 15th

Thumbs: 45 Comments: 56

In this edition of our educational Next Level series, you'll learn an easy workflow for researching and targeting multiple keywords with a single page.

The top five posts in Link Building

A thousand years from now, when the Space Needle has toppled into Puget Sound and our great-great-great-great-etc. grandchildren are living on Mars, link building will still prove to be one of the most popular subjects on the Moz Blog. And you get a double-whammy of goodness this year, because they just so happen to all be Whiteboard Fridays!

Should SEOs Care About Internal Links? - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, May 26th

Thumbs: 85 Comments: 87

Internal links are one of those essential SEO items you have to get right to avoid getting them really wrong. Rand shares 18 tips to help inform your strategy, going into detail about their attributes, internal vs. external links, ideal link structures, and much, much more in this edition of Whiteboard Friday.

How to Prioritize Your Link Building Efforts & Opportunities - Whiteboard FridayRand Fishkin, February 17th

Thumbs: 73 Comments: 81

We all know how effective link building efforts can be, but it can be an intimidating, frustrating process — and sometimes even a chore. In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand builds out a framework you can start using today to streamline and simplify the link building process for you, your teammates, and yes, even your interns.

The 3 Easiest Link Building Tactics Any Website Can Use to Acquire Their First 50 Links - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, September 8th

Thumbs: 81 Comments: 77

Without a solid base of links, your site won't be competitive in the SERPs — even if you do everything else right. But building your first few links can be difficult and discouraging, especially for new websites. Never fear — Rand is here to share three relatively quick, easy, and tool-free (read: actually free) methods to build that solid base and earn yourself links.

When and How to Use Domain Authority, Page Authority, and Link Count Metrics - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, June 16th

Thumbs: 50 Comments: 71

How can you effectively apply link metrics like Domain Authority and Page Authority alongside your other SEO metrics? Where and when does it make sense to take them into account, and what exactly do they mean? In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand answers these questions and more, arming you with the knowledge you need to better understand and execute your SEO work.

Image Link Building - Whiteboard FridayBritney Muller, December 15th

Thumbs: 48 Comments: 63

Image link building is a delicate art. There are some distinct considerations from traditional link building, and doing it successfully requires a balance of creativity, curiosity, and having the right tools on hand. In this Whiteboard Friday, Moz's own SEO and link building aficionado Britney Muller offers up concrete advice for successfully building links via images.

The top 5 posts in Advanced SEO

2017's top posts in the advanced SEO category cover just about every post type we like to publish (and that you like to read): in-depth case studies, Whiteboard Fridays, best practice advice, and solid how-tos.

[Case Study] How We Ranked #1 for a High-Volume Keyword in Under 3 Months Dmitry Dragilev, April 19th

Thumbs: 73 Comments: 140

If you've been struggling to take the number-one spot in the SERPs for a competitive keyword, take a cue from this case study. Dmitry Dragilev shares his team's 8-step methodology for ranking first in a popular niche.

How Google AdWords (PPC) Does and Doesn't Affect Organic Results - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, November 17th

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It's common industry knowledge that PPC can have an effect on our organic results. But what effect is that, exactly, and how does it work? In this Whiteboard Friday, Rand covers the ways paid ads influence organic results — and one very important way they don't.

SEO Best Practices for Canonical URLs + the Rel=Canonical Tag - Whiteboard Friday Rand Fishkin, July 14th

Thumbs: 62 Comments: 87

If you've ever had any questions about the canonical tag, well, have we got the Whiteboard Friday for you. In this episode, Rand defines what rel=canonical means and its intended purpose, when it's recommended you use it, how to use it, and sticky situations to avoid.

How to Uncover Hidden Keyword-Level Data Using Google SheetsSarah Lively, February 13th

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Which keywords are driving your organic traffic? Keyword-level data doesn't have to be (not provided). Sarah Lively shares a smart solution using two free add-ons for Google Sheets.

How Long Should Your Meta Description Be? (2018 Edition)Dr. Pete, December 19th

Thumbs: 49 Comments: 76

The end of November saw a spike in the average length of SERP snippets. Across 90K results, we found a definite increase but many oddities, such as video snippets. Our data suggests that many snippets are exceeding 300 characters, and we recommend a new meta description limit of 300 characters.

The top 5 posts in Technical SEO

Technical SEO posts are some of my favorite categories to publish (which is perhaps a strange sentiment coming from a poetry major). The debate that recently raged — about whether it's necessary or unnecessary for SEO — will always stick with many of us, as will Rand's excellent Whiteboard Friday rebuttal on the topic.

XML Sitemaps: The Most Misunderstood Tool in the SEO's Toolbox Michael Cottam, April 11th

Thumbs: 43 Comments: 83

XML sitemaps are a powerful tool for SEOs,..

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