#in other words. thinking about mtl fic again

[coffeebanana]

oh no I was reading a fic about depressed adrien agreste and now I just want to write about depressed adrien agreste but I can’t write about depressed adrien agreste until I finish two other fics that are not about depressed adrien agreste and but I just love depressed adrien agreste and when he is depressed, adrien agreste—

[s12e28]

How I feel knowing the vast majority of this fandom's missing out on sotdae's fics—especially the multi-chaptered ones—because of the language barrier. All their works are completed and of top quality, with rich plot and character dynamics not limited to that of the ship. Please give even MTL a chance...

Like, they wrote a whole SCI-FI LCF AU! and what's really crazy is how they pulled off making it fairly canon compliant! Choi Han being the last remaining 'original human' from the Harris Village experiment... scientist on steroids Rosalyn... cyborg Mary... AI eugenicist White Star... it's seriously so good. When you read it, you can't help but imagine a movie play out...!!!

Adaptation of Ron coming back from losing his arm scene:

"Oh father..."

"I feel like he's been exposed to radiation."

Cale nervously took out his portable terminal. There is nothing money can't buy. Fortunately, there is an abundance of money. You can buy both equipment and people. At that moment, another call came. It was a familiar alert sound. Cale's fingers roughly swiped the screen.

"Oh, Cale. I was thinking about it because you didn't contact me about compensation—"

"I'm busy right now."

There was a brief silence as the communication device was suddenly cut off.

"Young Master, but—"

"It's okay, Vicross. I'll do whatever it takes."

"Then there is no realistic solution."

Cale looked up crookedly. This kid is secretly delicate. Ron must have raised him well. Meanwhile, I'm a cruel person who would keep Ron alive for as long as possible even if he rolled around the floor in pain and— Hmm?

"What does that mean?"

It sounded like there are out-of-the-box solutions, only, they were unrealistic.

"That... all the medical equipment is state-owned, and the procedure for getting access is too—"

Cale pressed redial. The other person picked up not even two rings later.

"What? You said you were busy."

"I apologize for your busy schedule. I need to use state property for the work you've entrusted me, so please give me authority."

"For further explanation or permission—"

"I'll do it later. Please."

A brief silence passed over the line.

"I'll give you a card that can bypass every agency. A temporary issuance will be sent to your terminal. If you need it for the long term, contact me again."

"Thank you."

Then suddenly, the communication device was cut off again. Long live science and technology.

"Don't look at me like that. Why do you think I brought a medical transport vehicle? Don't worry, I've got everything you need."

Then there's one where previous secret services agent KRS dies and transmigrates into child!Cale, who then meets the young prince Alver in boarding school... it's starts off fairly silly and sweet, but then revelations happen... and things happen... things happen!!! Cale is one BAMF here...

Another of Earth 2 KRS and Temple Test Illusion Alver... "You live in a world that Cale abandoned, I live in a world that the hero saved." man!!! besides being a shipfic, it was also an interesting introspection on how That KRS must have felt... here's my favorite passage:

Roksoo reached out and touched Alver's face. He had gradually come to love many things in this world, but there was nothing he loved as fiercely as you. You were you. You were real as you were. So different and so unique, that he didn't even fear that loving you might be an imitation of the original.

The second part gets twisted, but such is the way of sotdae's writing. Seriously, their fics are beautiful beyond words...

[oraclekleo]

All the Information You Need

Hello!

This is a basic pinned post where you can find links to Master Posts for both K-Pop and Personal Readings and other additional info. It will be updated. Stay tuned!

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About Kleo:

I'm she/her, born and living in Czech Republic, fluent in Czech and English language, born 15.04.1991, tarot reader since 2006. I love dogs, tea, Scandinavian thriller books, British crime and sketch shows. I cook, bake, love Excel. I enjoy listening to audio erotica. I'm scared of spiders, heights and clowns. I've travelled a good portion of Europe + Egypt and Tunisia back in my teens. I'm not very emotional but I have excellent analytical skills. Many of my tarot readings here are NSFW, minors do not interact.

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Brief Introduction to Kleo’s Approach to Cartomancy

Kleo's Tiny Service of Kindness Emoji Game

Celebrity Tarot Readings Master Post - List of Competed Readings

Book a Tarot Reading (Paid) Instructions - closed

Pick-A-Pile (PAC) Masterlist

Tarot Games 🎲 - inactive

Monthly Tarot Challenge 💪 - inactive

Tarot Exchange 🤝 - inactive

Articles

Personal Readings Master Post

2023 Completed Personal Tarot Readings

All-In-One Universal Personal Reading Spread

Idols After Dark Master Post

Kleo's Tarot Decks [01]

Kleo's Oracle Decks [01]

Kleo's Oracle Decks [02]

Kleo's 18+ Tarot and Oracle Decks

Random Non-Tarot Content

Interactive Stories - inactive

Kleo's Birth Chart

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KLEO IS ON HIATUS NOW AND TAKES NO REQUESTS FOR READINGS!

Thank you for understanding!

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ALL TAROT READING REQUESTS ARE CLOSED!

I DON'T TAKE REQUESTS THROUGH COMMENTS.

I can't tell you how many words the reading is going to have as I can only give as much information as the cards will allow me to interpret from them.

Feedback is mandatory. If you want to request again, you have to give your feedback to the reading I have completed for you. The easy readings still take me about an hour to complete, the more complex ones can take me several hours. You can surely take 2 minutes to write a short feedback.

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Please consider tipping me on ko-fi. All tips, donations and revenues go to animal rescue private organisation.

LINK: https://ko-fi.com/oraclekleo

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Requests status:

Free Readings - CLOSED

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Paid Readings - CLOSED

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Exchange Readings - CLOSED

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Idols After Dark - CLOSED

(21+ celebrities ONLY)

(Isn't based in Tarot reading!!!)

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Suggestions - CLOSED

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Readings I don't do

Aura Readings

Questions where there's only one correct answer (is someone dating, etc.)

What someone unknown to me thinks

Emergency readings (tarot is about long-term self-development and growth, it's not an emergency solution to your issues)

Readings about a relationship in between two people, when the querent isn't one of them

Time of death

Mental disorders, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, abuse

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SUGGESTIONS - CLOSED

What is a suggestion? It's like request only you don't expect it to be completed. It's merely a suggestion and I may or may not complete it.

If you want to send a SUGGESTION, you can regardless the request status. Send your suggestion in my Tumblr inbox with a STRAWBERRY EMOJI

🍓

You can suggest anything that's not a personal type of reading - PACs, Idols After Dark, MTLs, Celebrity readings, Fics, Games.

Remember, I don't promise to complete any of these but there is a chance your suggestion will fit my mood, taste, calling to do a reading.

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[sub-k-pop-archive]

Hello!!

Can you recommend me some good fics?

I’m kinda picky about things so pls no anal stuff and mommy kink, the rest is okay. Thank you :)

Hi! This reply is a bit late, sorry about that! I have fic searches on a bit of a hiatus right now, but I’ll gladly share some of my favorites with you! :)

Also, you’re not picky at all! It’s completely normal to not be into either of those things (or both), don’t worry ♥ 

I don’t know what you think about other kinks, so I included a bit of everything. The same goes for the choice of members. I did mostly NCT (since I read their fics the most) and some SKZ, hope you don’t mind ♥ 

This list got a bit long, but then again, I haven’t done these in a long time, so I thought I should make it count lol. Some of these I’ve read before, some I’ve discovered just recently.

Now, let’s get to it! :)

NCT

lace - After a drunken comment from you one night, Kun decides to give you a very pleasant surprise one day.

reward - Jerking off an insecure Kun in front of a mirror, only giving him the release he wants once he says enough nice things about himself. This one was really cute!!

overstimulation - Overstimulating Taeil to the point of tears (+ slight degradation)

Untitled - Teasing your boss, Jungwoo, in his office

messy - Jungwoo didn’t want to go to the bathroom and miss anything from the movie, so he stayed with you and kept watching until it was a little too late. (warning: omorashi)

fucktoy - Jaehyun pretends to forget your rules, so you make sure he never forgets them again with the help of a fleshlight. (This is one of my favorite fics ever) 

compliment - Pulling Yuta’s hair while he rides your thigh and cums in his boxers.

puppy love - Lucas eats you out on the dorm’s couch, where anyone could walk in any minute. (No mommy kink, but Lucas does call you noona)

Never Again - Jerking off a needy Johnny until he’s satisfied.

Untitled - Helping Taeyong destress in the shower after a bad day.

Don’t Stop - Renjun thinks he can make you do whatever he wants, so you make him do all of the work instead.

Late - When Ten once again comes late to your date, he’s surprised at how calm you are. Until you get home, that is.

Also, let me just add this great fic by @warmau, which I love with all my heart. It’s not a sub!idol fic, I just thought it was really cute. Even if you don’t like Kun, she has many other amazing fics that I greatly recommend ♥

Stray Kids

[00:24] - You loved denying Changbin of his orgasms, but this time, it might have been a bit too much.

more & more | play you on repeat | on the outside | without a word - What begins with the overconfident trio of Chan, Changbin, and Jisung flirting with you at a party quickly turns into a lot more. This series is so much fun to read, I recommend this 100%. The 3rd and 4th chapter are a lot less dom!reader, and there is some angst as well, but it’s still one of my favorite series right now ♥

Other groups (MX, GOT7, BTS)

The Scent of Love - Trying out wax play with Changkyun for the first time. 

kinktober day 5 - Jinyoung finds out he likes degrading after you rage quit at a game.

Go With It - People always saw you as the innocent and angelic girl, the one that they should protect from all harm in the world. Namjoon thought of you the exact same way, and boy, was he mistaken. This fic was really good, I loved it ♥

And if those fics are too long for you, here are some reactions and drabbles!

A short imagine about ignoring Renjun while simultaneously jerking him off

A fic by an anon about spanking Jaehyun (this one is pure art ngl)

NCT MTL to be shy during sex with short explanations

GOT7 asking to ride their best friend’s thigh

An anon fic about jerking Jungwoo off at a library at night

[gamerwoo]

Hello friends, it’s Rocket!!! So I recently hit another really big milestone (honestly idk how I did it with my shitty updating schedule that doesn’t even exist, and lack of posting anything on here because of work lmao) and I really want to do something this time around to celebrate since I don’t think I did anything last time. But since I couldn’t decide on just one thing to do, I’ve decided to do a bunch of things!! So I’ll probably have this lil celebration thing going on for a little bit so I can get things done over a period of time instead of just trying to rush things out in one weekend. But more on that in a sec!

Before I get into the celebration stuff, I just wanna give a huge thank you to everyone who’s followed, whether you’ve been here since I was msvteenx or you just now followed me. I appreciate it a lot. And even if you don’t follow me but you reblog my content, thank you so much!! The fact that people like my writing makes me so happy I can’t even put it into words. And if you’ve followed me for any other reason other than my writing, I appreciate you as well!! :] 

But the biggest shoutouts to @neverknewgrey2016 @sadienita @akirabfs @hansols-yoda-boxers​ and @sunlightwoo​ for just being really great friends and always being super encouraging and my #1 hype people, especially lately when I hardly have the time to do anything but want to do all the things lmao. I love y’all and I’m really glad I met you guys and that I have y’all in my life 🥺💕

Okay, so onto the celebration stuff!

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

CELEBRATION #1: STRAY KIDS IMPRINTED

Yup, you read that right. Ya girl is bringing back SKZ Imprinted!!! Which also means that I’ll be opening requests for this series!! However, I will be re-posting all of the old parts that I didn’t already use in other Imprinted series lmao. So some members won’t be up for requests.

These are the members you can request for:

Minho

Changbin

Seungmin

Jeongin

Requests are a first come, first serve basis. You can specify their mate, the plot, the genre, etc. Or you can be super vague and just say “hey can I have Imprinted [insert member here]” and I’ll come up with the rest!!

My only rule is no smut. I don’t have the time or energy to write that rn.

Requests for Stray Kids Imprinted will close when I receive a request for all 4 members. You can check who has been requested here.

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

CELEBRATION #2: Q&A

I know this isn’t something many people will probably engage in, but I still think it could be fun. Pretty much anything goes and I have to answer. So ask whatever the heck u want 😌

The only things I won’t answer are:

My real name/my full name

Where I live

Personal info about my family (such as their names)

Anything along those lines

Please be sure to start the ask of by saying it’s for the 8k celebration!! I’ll be answering them all Sunday (4/18) night!!!

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CELEBRATION #3: DRABBLE GAME

I think I do these every single time I do a milestone celebration lmao. But this time, instead of just finding one of those posts to reblog or link, you can request a specific au type (werewolf au, mafia au, ect) and/or genre and/or thing that happens in the drabble. Just make sure you include an idol you want!!

Groups/idols you can request for:

Seventeen

Pentagon

Exo

BTS

SF9

KARD

Stray Kids

Ateez

For example “single dad!Seungcheol picks his daughter up from daycare and tries to flirt w the worker but his daughter embarrasses the fuck out of him” or something along those lines. Basically, your request must have enough info for me to be able to write something with it lmao.

For drabbles, I’ll allow smut.

The drabble game requests will close either next Saturday (4/24) at 8pm EST or sooner if I get bombarded with them and can’t keep up lmao.

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

CELEBRATION #4: SMALL REQUESTS OPEN

For a short period of time, I’ll have requests open for small things, which include:

fake texts

headcanons (this goes for general headcanons but also headcanons for any series or fic or character I have that maybe you wanna know more about or add onto)

drabbles (see above)

reactions

mtl

And yes, smut topics are allowed.

Requests will close whenever I feel like closing them lmao :)

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Thank you guys so much again for 8k followers. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate all the love and support on my writing or just in general. I love you guys!! 💕💕💕

[sunshinexlollipops]

ALRIGHTY— I'll say it once and I'll say it again: on this Tumblr we are 100% honest and open, and we love to make appropriate corrections and apologies when needed!

so, you're probably wondering why I've started with this disclaimer.

thanks to another user (I don't know if you wish to be mentioned in this post or not but thank you either way!), I was alerted that Strauss and his "myth" had a issue with the Myths to Legend series.

unfortunately, I didn't do any research on this aside from googling up mythological "creatures," so I made the obtuse mistake of making Strauss a g*bl*n originally. I didn't do any further research, and that was a misstep on my part!

because it was kindly brought to my attention that such a being isn't really lore-based, but rather an anti-Semitic depiction of Jewish people.

and of course, in my dumb fashion, I unintentionally managed to make the Jewish character said depiction.

[ID: a gif with a white background and a collection of purple, red, and yellow flowers overlapped with twinkling sparkles and the words "fucking yikes." I think you can get why I chose this one.]

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I did a word search on both installments to the MTL series, and saw no mention of Strauss and this flub aside from the A/N on the first story.

I have since went ahead and redacted this term, corrected the author's note, and made a notation on the second installment as well clarifying my mistake and offering my sincere apologies for it.

as I stated, I am not afraid of realizing that I've fucked up. while I do not have any ill wills or jaded opinions of any of you all, it doesn't change that my ignorance could or has offended anyone.

so, while learning of this information and my mistake, I wanted to post on here about the issue and my alterations, as well as offer up an apology to those who read the story and may have been affected by that depiction, or my overall uninformed use of this!

while I've already apologized for what happened with Charles' mythological creature, I just want to say I have forgotten about that slip up too, and still offer my apologies on that as well!

my stories are meant to be inclusive and respectful to everyone. and if a character is a dick, I try to make it clear they shouldn't be listened to, or their words shouldn't be respected. I want my stories to make you feel welcomed, thought of, and to give you a good time while you read. the last thing I would ever want is to say something or write something that is offensive or in bad taste!

while I have old fics up that I would NEVER write now (by this, I mean my age gaps in previous Sterek fics, writing certain tropes, etc etc— I may start putting a disclaimer in my older works that they don't represent my current opinions or overall way of creating a story), I want you all to know I am always willing to grow and learn when I still make the wrong steps in my journey to learn more outside of my personal perspective, and the culture I was raised in.

while naivety is innocent ignorance, it doesn't change the harm it can cause to others.

so once again, my apologies!

I hope you all are having a great day and are staying safe! love you all! ✨💛

[kireihan]

[fic] anosaa

ship: mammon x reese

words: 1,332

summary: while the others sang of loving words, or laughed over silly phrases, he could only look down at the markings that simply mocked him.

a/n: no plot only word vomit but i love them anyways, also wow?? actual written content from me that isn’t a spicy mtl? hell yee

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“Soulmates. They say it’s a wonderful thing, to meet another being, handcrafted by the universe to perfectly complement you. To make an incomplete being whole. Theorists say that during the big bang, two atoms-”

“Catch a load of that bullshit.” He turned off the TV. Falling back into his chair, Reese covered his eyes with the back of his wrist, the remote falling to the group with a sharp clatter. Whatever, he could pick it up later. Swinging his legs over the armrest, Reese hung his head back and stared at the poster covered wall as the blood rushed to his head. “Maybe I’ll just sleep like this tonight, my bed is cold anyways.” he said to nobody. Reese lived alone after all. Feeling bitter, Reese sat up properly again, feeling lightheaded as the blood rushed out. Why was he even in this sort of mood again?

Oh that’s right. Soulmates. Everyone seemed to have one. He had been reminded of this unwittingly by his online friend that he had been gaming with earlier. “Look at this! Matching armor! We could be like soulmates in this game.” Reese had simply laughed it off, although his mood was now spoiled. Apologizing, Reese had saved and logged off. 

The plan had been to make some dinner, more specifically another pot of instant ramen. While waiting for water to boil, Reese had pulled out his phone and scrolled through his feeds on Instagram and Twitter. Opening the stories, he was met with images of happy people holding and showing off their colorful soulmate marks on their wrists. The phone was immediately put away, he didn’t want to go there. Putting the boiled water aside, Reese opted for some icecream. He couldn’t be assed to cook anymore. If his stomach hurt in the morning it hurt in the morning.

Lazily lounging on his bed, Reese rolled onto his side and blinked as his phone lit up with a new notification. It was his coworker friend.

reese! guess what! i found my soulmate!

A bitter taste formed in his mouth.

aaaaa that’s great! 

This wasn’t fair.

I know right~ and he’s wonderful! lemme spill the tea hold on hgfjkdghsl

He should be happy for his friend. Deciding to just read whatever she sent in the morning, Reese put his phone down. His light blue eyes glanced over the words on his wrist.

Or the lack thereof. 

The bold, gothic-font looking wisps stared back at him. They were still black, dull, and nonsensical. “Seriously.” Reese grumbled, seeing how the tattoo he got over it was fading once again. Everyone was born with their soulmate’s first words to them on their inner wrist, whether it was French, Chinese, English, Arabic, German- but no. Not him. He was delightfully blessed with these weird symbols. They didn’t match any language. He had researched on Quora, posted on Reddit and joined a few communities that helped you find your soulmate. Yet no lead, nothing. Reese had given up a years or two ago. He couldn’t remember. 

Rolling over, he hugged a pillow, burying his face into the soft material. “Maybe this is the universe telling I’ll just die alone or something,” he laughed out loud. It wasn’t funny, and before he knew it, memories were flooding into his mind and out onto his pillow. 

“Ew that is that?! Teacher he’s creepy! He doesn’t even have words!”

Stop it.

“Don’t worry, you don’t need someone to make you whole. You can live by yourself.”

I know, but I’m lonely

“Why can’t you just be normal? You’re so weird with your cringe hair and strange symbols.”

I want to be normal too.

This sucked. Reese snuggled under the blankets, closing his eyes and curling up, his arms still holding tightly around the pillow. Hearing a rustling noise, Reese decided that was too much thinking. If it was the stalker breaking into his home from that joke letter he replied to about 2 weeks ago then so be it. Maybe they would be his soulmate. 

Never in his wildest dreams would be imagine being in Hell. Or whatever they called it. Devildom? RAD? Was this an illusion? Did he get killed by a stalker that broke into his house? “I’m sure you’re all feeling very shocked-”

“I- phhfsh yeAh-” Reese stuttered, looking at the self-called demon in front of him. He turned to the other humans in the room and tried to figure out what was even happening anymore. They simply looked back at him and shook their heads. After a long explanation that Reese had a hard time following, they were suddenly. being paired up. A black haired girl went with “Satan” and the demon called Asmodeus led a cheerful freckled girl out of the hall. One by one they were paired up, leaving Reese alone. Again. 

“Ah, there seems to be a mix up, give us a few minutes.” Diavolo smiled apologetically, checking a list and talking to the demon next to him. The black haired one, Lucifer frowned and sighed, pulling out a phone and calling someone. Reese stood there a little dumbfounded. After some angry yelling and quiet threats, Lucifer hung up the phone. 

“Mammon will be here in just a few moments-”

“I’M HERE-” a loud voice echoed in the room, following a loud slamming open of the door. Reese wasn’t able to properly see who entered before the white haired man was up in Lucifer’s face complaining. Ah, he must be Mammon. “Now why do I have to do this? You know I’ve got things to do! The Great Mammon-” yep, definitely Mammon. “-is too busy to look after some human! Oi! Stop looking at me like that, wait fine I’ll do it....”

“Anosa, I’m not just doing this because I’m scared of lucifer or anything-” Mammon turned around to address Reese, and indignant pout on his face. Reese could feel his breath hitch slightly. As confusing as the whole thing was, the men in the room were certainly fine as fuck, but this one. This one took the bill. Even so, the words stung slightly. “So just listen to what I say and don’t give me trouble, ya hear me??”

“I’d throw my wallet at you-” Reese muttered under his breath, before clearing his throat. Mammon tilted his head a little bit, not clearly hearing what Reese said. Reese’s face flushed a bright red, and he held up his hands. “Wait no no no I’m sorry, but I’m sure I can figure out my way around so you really don’t have to or anything, I’ll just find a directory or something.” Reese ran his fingers through his purple hair nervously, suddenly feeling self conscious. Mammon grabbed Reese’s wrist suddenly, disbelief etched on his face. “Wha-what is it.”

“This is Devilspeak.” Mammon muttered in disbelief, and Reese blinked. Nani the fuck did Mammon say? Looking down at the gothic font, it had bloomed into a brilliant mix of rainbow colors. It had activated. Mammon immediately dropped Reese’s wrist and pulled up his sleeve, looking giddy. On his inner wrists was some english words, also blooming the rainbow colors. 

“I think we match!” Match? It was activated? Reese furrowed his eyebrows, eaning in to see what was written on Mammon’s wrist. Sure enough, there it was. I’d throw my wallet at you. Mammon looked back up at Reese and smiled widely, his white teeth flashing. He looked as if he was a puppy offered 50 treats. Reese felt his stomach sink. So this was his legacy. “So will you actually do it- Ow! Hey!” Mammon was cut off by Lucifer smacking him across the back of the head quite hard.

“How strange, we were wondering why that appeared on him a while ago.” Lucifer leaned over Mammon’s shoulder and looked over the colorful markings. “It’s been a while since demon’s have gotten these.”

“This is Mammon, second born brother and the Avatar of Greed. He seems to be your soulmate.”

[atmilliways]

Stuck on the Outside Failing to Look In (Just Like in Real Life)

This @mtl-trick-or-treat​ fic is for @tanyonlee​, who asked for either a treat of “Very cute Skwistok!!” or a trick of “Skwisgaar and his gmiltf girlfriend XDDD.”

It’s your lucky Halloween dude, because I wrote BOTH. In five parts. I hope you like 8300+ word fics. 💩 

Here’s part one! (1412 words)

~

Excerpt from Skwisgaar Is Ams Dick by T. Wartooth, chapter four (“Skwisgaar Is Ams Slut”), pages 132-133:

Everyones knows that Skwisgaar will does just abouts anybodies. That ain’ts the halfs of it! Every times ol’ Toki starts talkings to a beautiesful girl, Skwisgaar rolls right ups and starts the whisperings horny nothings to her ear what’s like I’m not theres. Fucking rudes! Then he goes and screws thems. Sometimes they don’t even bothers to leaves the room! And it’s not evens like whats the ladies are really sluts. Some ofs them ams real nice, whats have hopes and dreams and real goods teeth and everything. Some even haves the boobs thats am all naturals, just like mothers makes ‘em, though nots veries often ‘cause most groupies gets them sized ups whats to catch our attention betters.

But anyways, the ladies ain’ts the sluts, Skwisgaar ams. The ladies only wants to sleeps with likes four, maybies five guys, because we ams super mega famous. Skwisgaar ams the ones who doesn’ts cares whos he puts the you-know-whats sausage into sides of as longs as he gets to does it! You barlies ever see his ass with the sames lady twice!! He ams physicallies uns-capable of even gettings that close to settling downs and I can proves it. Ins this chapter I wills...

~

“... In other news, Toki Wartooth seems to be on the Toki Warpath! He’s been arrested seventeen times in the last two months alone, and at last night’s Dethklok concert in Washington DC actually lept from the stage and started it all-out brawl. The incident ended up outing several ultra-conservative Senators and House Representatives as closet Dethklok fans, despite having made so much effort to distance themselves from the group in the past. Thanks to the staff at prominent DC hospitals that leaked copies of the intake forms to the press, they’ve got quite a bit of explaining to do to their constituents.

“And that’s the Dethklok Minute!”

~

Groupie Debriefing Transcript

ID: 174849464438

               [ x] Returning                [ x] Approved for return

On file:

    [ x] Pain waiver     [ x] STI screen upon arrival     [ x] STI screen prior to debriefing     [   ] Paternity waiver     [ x] Medical record of infertility due to                [   ] Hysterectomy                [   ] Tubal ligation                [ x] Menopause                [   ] Other: ________

Name: Beulah Rosenberg

Rating: GMILF

Debriefing Agent: 7982

7982: Please state for the record which members of Dethklok you interacted with on this visit.

ROSENBERG: Just Skwisgaar.

7982: Skwigelf?

ROSENBERG: Is there more than one Skwisgaar floating around here, dear?

7982: Just being thorough, ma’am.

ROSENBERG: Oh good. I don’t think he would like that, he’s a very sensitive boy you know. Being unique is very important to him.

7982: I’m aware, ma’am. And what was the purpose of your visit?

ROSENBERG: I don’t kiss and tell, dear.

7982: Um, okay. And you were with him from approximately 3:15pm yesterday to 8:45am this morning, is that correct?

ROSENBERG: That sounds about right. And we spent most of that time talking, for your information.

7982: Talking? With Lord Skwigelf? Instead of, uh... I mean, isn’t that a bit unusual? In your experience? Which... you’ve been on file here for several years now.

ROSENBERG: Eight years, nine next September. It is a bit of a change, but not necessarily a recent one. He’s been more introspective ever since... I’d say a little bit before his little band mate got kidnapped, but definitely more so after that.

7982: And I see from our records that he’s been requesting your presence more often since roughly that time. Was all that, uh, mostly taking as well?

ROSENBERG: Well... mostly.

7982: Grandma!

ROSENBERG: Oh for god’s sake, don’t be such a prude, Denis.

~

Therapy session transcript 5-625148-TW, excerpt:

TWINKLETITS: So what’s been on your mind lately, Toki? What’s going on in that noggin?

WARTOOTH: Nothings.

TWINKLETITS: Toki, Toki. You’ve got to be honest in this room, okay buddy? It’s been a big year. Lots of things going on. Lots of things that sooner or later you’re gonna have to face head-on one way or another, and wouldn’t it be nice to do that in a safe, supportive environment?

WARTOOTH: Not reallies.

TWINKLETITS: I know what’s been going on. You’ve been picking fights, breaking windows... you’re scaring people, Toki. All your friends are worried half to death about you.

WARTOOTH: [unintelligible]

TWINKLETITS: That’s a big load of bull pats. Why would they go through all that trouble to get you back if they didn’t care?

WARTOOTH: The bands—

TWINKLETITS: They found you. Do you think that was easy?

WARTOOTH: [unintelligible]

TWINKLETITS: Toki, have they talked to you at all about what it was like getting to you?

TWINKLETITS: Toki?

WARTOOTH: [unintelligible]

WARTOOTH: Noes.

TWINKLETITS: Well they told me. They didn’t have any idea what they were doing, but they went anyway, and followed any crazy idea they could pull out of their asses to do it. Pickles guessed they should look in the place where you played your very first gig as a member of Dethklok—

WARTOOTH: The Depths of Humanities? That shitshole?

TWINKLETITS: Exactly! And Skwisgaar—

WARTOOTH: I don’ts wants to talk about that asshole! Fucking bastards don’t gots no time for anything but sluts—

TWINKLETITS: Toki, no!

WARTOOTH: [unintelligible yelling, smashing furniture]

~

From: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk

To: s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk

CC: n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Consider this a band meeting

Skwisgaar, I don’t know why Dr. Twinkletits is still calling me, but can you think of any reason Toki might be angry with you?

Kind regards,

Charles F. Ofdenson

~

From: p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk

To: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk, n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Consider this a band meeting

uSUal reason right? not giving hm sodas? back ne up her gays

8=====D doodily doodily dooo

~

From: p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk

To: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk, n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Re: Consider this a band meeting

SOLOS!

8=====D doodily doodily dooo

~

From: n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk

To: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk, p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Consider this a band meeting

No. He’s just still fucked up from being kidnapped.

Hey Charles, you ever going to fucking visit us man? Thought you were hamburger time again. Answer your phone when I text you. Dick.

~

From: w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

To: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk, n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Consider this a band meeting

Hey fuckfaces,

You’re all wrong!!! Take it from me, a real lady’s man. He’s upset over some chick who went and broke his stupid heart!!! I’ll take some booze over to his room later, we’ll talk it out, problem solved. Nailed it. ;)

—WM

ps, What’s with the “kind regards” signoff, Charles? Pretty gay.

~

From: p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk

To: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk, n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Consider this a band meeting

ahahahahha mface thinks charlies pretty

cuz hes gay mface is gay THATS THE JOOKE

8=====D doodily doodily dooo

~

From: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk

To: n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Consider this a band meeting

OK, thank you for all your responses.

Pickles — That’s a good idea, it could be the lack of solos. I appreciate your input.

Nathan — Recent trauma is also a strong possible explanation as to why Toki has been acting out lately. Also, I am sending you a text right now. Please text back whenever convenient, and perhaps we can schedule an actual call.

William — I’m not sure alcohol is necessary in this situation, but otherwise I agree, Toki would probably benefit from having a friend to talk to right now.

If anyone could advise me as to why Skwisgaar is not replying to emails, that would be appreciated. Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Kind regards,

Charles F. Ofdenson

[puphee]

I'm sorry 😞 😐 😔 😢 😪 😕 - 💋

But pls do accept my request

Ps. Its so embarrassing

;;;; I really don't want to come off bitchy or anything, just giving you advice for future interactions with other writers and myself.

There are two things I'd like to address here though. I'm not taking actual fic requests at this time. In my pinned post, it says I'm only taking specific requests such as headcanons and mtl requests. Please wait until I edit the post saying I'm taking fic requests before asking for another part of a fic I've already written or something of the sort.

Secondly, I did get your request! I got it only on I think Thursday, May 5th. You sent me something asking if I had received the request (I may be mistaken, but the point still stands) on the same day when I asked for more asks. I know this isn't just me who feels this way, but when this happens, it usually makes us less interested in writing the request. Constantly reminding or asking if it was received becomes bothersome or annoying, making us less motivated to answer or write. Please wait a while before reminding/asking about your request. Remember that writers also have their own lives outside of writing and may not have the time to write your requests/answer your asks as soon as they receive them. In my case, I had limited time and was in a public setting, e.g work. I didn't have enough time to write something longer than the others in my inbox.

Again, in no way am I intending to come off as condescending, scolding, or bitchy, but I just wanted to let you know about these things so you can be better.... educated?(I can't think of a better word), for the future.

[atmilliways]

Stuck on the Outside Failing to Look In (Just Like in Real Life)

This @mtl-trick-or-treat fic is for @tanyonlee, who asked for either a treat of “Very cute Skwistok!!” or a trick of “Skwisgaar and his gmiltf girlfriend XDDD.” 

It was while writing this bit that I realized, hey, I’m writing this for a Halloween event, maybe it should have some actual Halloween in it. Thank you to @little-murmaider for the costume suggestion. All the other suggestions were close seconds, you are all superstars. 🎃 

Here’s part three! (1562 words)

(part 1) (part 2)

~

Halloween day dawned cold and crisp over Mordhaus — but the five members of Dethklok all slept through that part. It wasn’t until a much more reasonable eleven am that three hunched figures sat around the sawblade kitchen table, piled high with breakfast pastries, clutching steaming cups of black, black coffee in their hands.

“Fuck, okay,” Nathan rumbled after a few mouthfuls of blessed caffeine. “I call this what-the-fuck-do-we-do-about-our-guitarists meeting to order.”

“Uh, exchusche me, I’m a guitarischt?”

Pickles rolled his eyes. “Yeah, bass guitarist. That’s barely an instrument.”

Murderface glared at the drummer, but chose not to dignify it with a response. Not an audible response, anyway — he may or may not have mumbled something containing the word Thunderbottom into his coffee.

“Stop bitching and pay attention,” snapped Nathan, who was absolutely not a morning person. “Look. Toki keeps going off and costing us money in damages and lawsuits, and Skwisgaar’s being even more of a moody asshole than usual. We’ve gotta do something about it.”

There was a drowsy silence while the three men tried to think while still in the process of waking up.

“Does anyone else get the feelin’ that they’re, like... eggin’ each other on or someshit?” Pickles asked finally.

“Let’sch juscht put ‘em in a room together and lock the door,” Murderface grumbled, still smarting from the jab at his instrument.

“That’s...” Nathan paused, mulling the suggestion over for a minute. “... Not the shittiest idea I’ve ever heard. Good job, Murderface.”

The bassist replied by flipping him off with his still-bandaged band, his other busy grabbing for a powdered donut.

“What if they kill each other?” Pickles asked.

“We’ll stay nearby,” Nathan said firmly. “I’m pretty sure if any of us get seriously hurt, that... thing would happen again.”

They all shifted a little uncertainty at that — except for Murderface, who inhaled at the wrong moment and started coughing and hacking on powdered sugar, which diffused the feeling somewhat. Because sure, That Thing had been brutal and badass and a rush, but the idea of it was still unsettling. It was the kind of experience that you half hoped, half worried would happen again someday.

Nathan reached over and gave Murderface a helpful couple of thumps on the back, which helpfully knocked over his coffee into the bassist’s crotch.

~

SEVERAL HOURS LATER.

A klokateer had just finished bringing three fresh drinks to the hot tub when Pickles suddenly sat up from his relaxed slouch and asked, “Wait, don’t we gotta figure out how to get both’a them in the same room in the first place?”

“Uh.” Nathan’s brow furrowed. “Yeah... I guess we do.” He took a long pull from his beer. “So, uh... if anyone has any ideas, that’d be great.”

“Schuper leaderschip right there,” Murderface deadpanned.

“Shut up! I had the idea to come up with an idea, I’m fucking worn out.”

“It is Halloween,” Pickles said slowly, ignoring the bickering with the ease many years’ practice and more substances than just alcohol in his system. “Meybe we could tell Toki some story about trick or treatin’?”

“But what about Schkwischgaar? He doeschn’t even want to go out for schweet poontang anymore now that he’sch deschided to schack up with that fat grandma.”

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Nathan grunted. “Skwisgaar doesn’t even know the word monog... mogon... m... hrnnnnn... He doesn’t know what settling down even means.”

Pickles shrugged. “Feck If I know. Meybe we can grab ‘em while he’s still sleepin’, throw him in wherever, boom, lock the door, done.”

“But that only worksch if he’sch aschleep... What if we juscht tell him the fat grandma isch waiting for him schomewhere, and when he goesch in that’sch when we lock the door.” Murderface sipped thoughtfully on his Bloody Mary, then made a face. “Ugh, thisch thing isch dischguschting!”

“Dood, then why’d you ask for one? Give it here, I’ll drink it.”

“No, it’sch mine,” Murderface whined, holding the glass as far away from Pickles as he could and thus giving Nathan a good look at the cocktail onions decorated to look like eyeballs and a set of plastic vampire fangs floating in the thick cocktail. “It’sch feschtive!”

“What’s you guys all doin’s up so earlies? Trick or treats hasn’t even starts yet!”

The three men in the hot tub turned in unison to look at Toki. Somehow he’d managed to sneak up on them despite his costume, which requires a moment of blank staring to fully take in — from the ridiculous umbrella hat on his head to the ludicrous arrangement of base drum, cymbals, and various horns slung on his back like a backpack, completed by an array of mouthpieces clustered around his face like an addition to his already weird facial hair and his Flying V strapped to his front.

Plus, there were coins dangling from the umbrella, clinking against each other every time he moved. Nathan and Pickles exchanged one of those what just happened here and could it have anything to do with…? looks, because he shouldn’t have been able to sneak up on them with all those noisemakers on. They weren’t that drunk yet.

“What the fuck?” Nathan asked finally, speaking for everyone as per his job description.

Toki grinned proudly. “I ams a one man band!” He punctuated the statement with a cymbal crash, operated by some sort of hand lever. “Where’s Skwisgaar? I bets he ams too lazies to even does a costumes...”

“He’s prahbly still sleepin or something. What’s... with all the coins, dood?” Pickles asked.

The flicker of disappointment in Toki’s eyes was so brief that his band mates didn’t even notice, quickly replaced by exaggerated childlike glee. “They ams my tips what’s I get for playing goods!”

“That’s, uh...” Nathan glanced around, searching his brain or possibly the room for something to say that wasn’t too jackassy but not an outright lie either. It was hard to tell sometimes what might set off one of the rhythm guitarist’s violent tantrums, and Toki’s bubbly mood could just be the manic before the storm. “...Uh... sugar-free?”

Murderface, still staring, spoke up in lukewarm agreement. “Healthier than playing for candy, that’sch for schure.”

“You got your insulin, right?” Pickles asked reflexively.

Toki nodded and beamed and played a riff on his guitar, accompanying it with various clashes, bashes, and honks.

In the midst of the cacophony, Pickles turned to the other two and said in a low voice, “This is a tickin’ time bomb. You guys wanna get this over with now?”

“...Yeah.”

“Schoundsch good. I’ve got my tascher in with my clothesch over there.”

“Okey.” Pickles leaned back and raised his voice again. “Hey, that’s real good, Toki! You wanna start trick or treatin’ early this year?”

Toki stopped the assault on their ears and clapped his hands together in excitement. “Oh boys, does I!” He paused. “But… it doesn’ts starts until suns-set, I thoughts?”

Murderface, ever a champion of messing with people, literally leapt up in his eagerness to cover this plot hole in their story. “Nope! I know a neighborhood that schtartsch early, scho letsch get thisch schow on the road!”

As one, everyone in the room groaned and shielded his eyes in dismay.

“Goddammit Murderface,” Nathan bellowed, “stop freeballing in the hot tub!”

~

ABOUT HALF AN HOUR LATER.

Nathan pulled his dethphone out of his back pocket. “Okay, I’m going to text Skwisgaar now. Everybody ready?”

Pickles nudged at Toki with a sneakered foot to make sure he was still down for the count, getting the hoped-for lack of response. He nodded and flashed a double thumbs up.

From his position by the door, Murderface held up his taser in wordless salute.

They’d decided that the one man band getup presented too many improvised weapon possibilities, so they’d tasered him into unconsciousness, removed everything but his clothes, and made a couple klokateers carry him down to the studio. To make the whole thing more fair, they’d also decided to do more or less the same to Skwisgaar as soon as he stormed in.

“... Wait, how come I gotta do all the taschering? My hand schtill hurtsch, schomeone elsche do it thisch time.”

“This isn’t the time for whining, Murderface,” Nathan called as he and Pickles hid behind the couch, just in case. “This is your time to shine!”

~

Text log between Skwisgaar Skwigelf and Nathan Explosion:

NE (5:29:27pm) — Hey, come to the studio.

NE (5:41:02pm) — GET YOUR ASS DOWN TO THE STUDIO RIGHT NOW.

NE (5:43:26pm) — Some of your pickups in the new track need some work.

SS (5:43:56pm) — WHAT

SS (5:43:57pm) — BOLLSHIT

SS (5:43:59pm) — THEMS WAS PERFECTION

NE (5:45:37pm) — Prove it. Just get in here.

SS (5:45:44pm) — THIS AMS SLANDER ON MY NAMES I WILLS PROVE IT ALL OVER YOURS DUM BITCHTITS

~

ONE AMBUSH LATER.

Pickles was helping Nathan drag an unconscious Skwisgaar into the booth with the equally unconscious Toki, when the drummer suddenly dropped the pair of booted ankles he’d been lugging and asked, “Wait, don’t I have some sorta dentist appointment to go to later today?” 

He glared at his band mates. 

“How come neither’a you dooshbeags reminded me? Now I don’t got time to pour bleach on my teeth first!”

[atmilliways]

34 please

“Pickles/Nathan.” 

It’s funny, I sincerely thought I had written something about this pairing at some point, but when I went back through my old fics… nuthin’. So. Here’s a thing, set during the “Keep the Party Going” bit of the Doomstar Requiem. 

(mtl prompts list)

—

Out of the corner of his eye, Pickles saw Nathan pull out his dethphone. “Stop it,” he said automatically. 

Nathan’s head snapped up with the speed of a guilty man who’d been consciously hoping not to be caught. “Stop what?” 

Pickles sighed and fished around in his own pockets for anything interesting he happened to have on him, coming up some papers, a baggie of weed, and… a spoon. Damn. He sighed again and decided to start rolling a joint anyway.

“What?” Nathan insisted. 

“Stop looking at the picture,” Pickles replied distractedly while he picked a nug apart over the paper, pausing only to sniff his fingers and try to remember if this was a sativa or an indica or somewhere in the middle. “We’re keepin’ the party goin’, not lookin’ at pictures of Abigail.” 

“I… wasn’t,” Nathan mumbled, slowly lowering his phone. 

“Dood, yer about as convincing as… shit, as this spoon. You got a fuckin’ lighter?” 

Dutifully, the frontman patted his pockets and eventually produced a black and silver bic. Pickles finished rolling the joint, put it to his lips, and instead of taking the lighter just leaned in Nathan’s general direction and waited for a light. When it came, he took a hard pull and sat back, draping himself lazily against the couch cushions before letting the smoke out in a slow stream. He passed Nathan the joint and sighed again. 

“I’ll put some hash in the next one,” he muttered aimlessly. “I think I got some around here somewhere…” But he made no effort to look for it, so that probably wouldn’t happen. 

Ha. 

Whatever. 

Everything was fine. 

“Hey. Hey, Pickles.” Nathan nudged the smoldering joint into his hand. “Uh… Can I ask you something?” 

“Dood, if it’s about either of those two people that nonna us are talkin’ about, I don’t wanna hear it.” The drummer took his hit and passed it back. “Ash that.” 

Nathan tapped the ash off the end over the coffee table. Nice. 

“It’s not. Uh, about them,” he insisted. 

“Alright, fine. What?” 

The younger man’s face was screwed up in an agony of concentration. “You know… all that shit I said at the funeral? Before… that stuff happened? It’s not about that,” he said quickly, catching Pickles’ glare. “You know how I said… how I didn’t want something if it meant you not being in the band?” 

Pickles raised an eyebrow. “Yeah…?” 

It figured that Nathan was avoiding saying the S word again, but he hadn’t expected any part of that speech to be directly referenced again. It had been one of those in the moment things, and once it was all said everything was just settled and that was that, no need for dredging that emotional crap up again. 

“Uhhhh…” Nathan took another hit, stalling for time while he collected his thoughts and attempted to put his words in some sort of coherent order. “Mmmmmngh never really wanted it in the first place.” 

Pickles squinted through the smoke that was turning the air around them hazy. “What?” 

Nathan heaved a sigh and took another hit, out of order but whatever. Then, belatedly, he passed the joint. “I never wanted her. I mean, you know. Not like… not enough to fuck up the band.” 

There was a moment of silence while Pickles digested that and Nathan stared intently and the little pile of ash on the table. 

“Dood, then why’d ya go after her?” 

“Because I was pissed off!” Nathan burst out, glancing at him but then eyes sliding away almost immediately. “Because you were mad at me… about the album and, uh, hitting you in the face…” 

Pickles groaned. “Ya know, it’d help if you didn’t keep bringing shit up and reminding me.” 

“I know, I know. But listen.” Nathan was sitting hunched forward, his fists clenched and resting hard against his thighs. “You were pissed off at me, so I got pissed too. And then we were on the submarine and couldn’t jack off and you were acting like a fucking tool…” 

“Again, not really helping, Nathan.” 

“LISTEN.” 

“Okie, okie, I’m listening.” Pickles took his third hit in a row, sharing be damned. The other man didn’t seem to want it right now anyway. 

“I just wanted you to shut up about her. And… I did not go about that the right way. I know that now. But everything was fucked up.” 

Between them, amidst the smoke, hung the reality that things were still fucked up. Toki was missing, Abigail might be dead, Charles didn’t seem to be sleeping anymore, and some guy with a beard wanted them to save the world — which, fuck the world, the world was shit-for-brains fucked up all on its own, not their fault or problem. 

“So… I think I was jealous, I guess that’s what I’m trying to say.” 

Pickles groaned and scrubbed a hand over his goatee. “Well, yeah, Nate, that’s what happens when two doods go after the same lady.” 

“Yeah, but…" 

As dulled as his reactions were this far into the day — Pickles had been awake for a whole hour and a half, and he’d mostly had coke and beer for breakfast — he felt his stomach give a little cringe of anxiety. That thing, the thing they’d never acknowledged or talked about, ever, but somehow meant that even though by band agreement they weren’t friends they could still go on vacations together and call it a friender bender. That connection. That. Nathan was getting perilously close to actually saying something about it, he could practically taste it. 

And that was so many kind of fucked up, but if everything was already fucked up anyway… 

Nathan had vomited blood in public for him, for fuck’s sake. That was pretty brutal. 

“… I was jealous ‘cause I didn’t want her to get you,” Nathan finished. 

There. 

Once it had been said, Pickles relaxed. He took another hit, then passed it back to Nathan, who took it and slumped back on the couch as though suddenly exhausted. 

“Same, dood,” he said, smoke eddying from his mouth and nostrils with the words. “Same.”

[atmilliways]

1!

“Toki trying to convince Nathan to do something lame.” It’s lame in the sense that I couldn’t come up with anything particularly lame. I sort of had an idea when I started, but it took a weird hop a little while in and ended unexpectedly. I’m not sure if I want to continue it or rework it to fit into the chaptered fic I’m still toiling away at. 

(mtl prompts list)

—

It started off totally wholesome and innocent. 

Okay, no it didn’t. It started out with Toki walking in on Nathan fucking the manager over his desk, and the little shit ran screaming from the room like he’d just seen his parents doing it and needed to wash the dirty scene from his eyeballs with boiling acid. 

Then the texts started. As a rule, Nathan didn’t bother to read any texts from the Scandinavian guitarists because they were always a horrible mishmash of misspelled words, typos, autocorrects, and non-English words — in other words, completely incomprehensible. Toki, being generally more talkative, was the worst about this. Nathan solved the problem of the Norwegian relentlessly blowing up his phone  first by ignoring it, then eventually by leaving it in his jeans pocket to get taken out with the wash. He was issued a new one, with a new number, the next day. 

Since avoidance seemed to be working pretty well, Nathan continued the trend until it snowballed into the entire band just sort of forgetting to include Toki in things. That worked pretty well for a while too, until the whole Special Persons Invites Club mess. By then Toki seemed to have given up on trying to talk to him about what he’d seen, but Nathan was still vaguely on alert for the idiot to blurt it out right there in front of Pickles and Skwisgaar during a club meeting. Why else would he exclude Murderface, the band member most likely to shit his pants at the news and have a screeching gay crisis that could go on for weeks?

Well, aside from the fact that it was Murderface, that guy was pretty rank. But yeah, so totally incapable of coming out of the closet himself that he’d just ruin it for as many other people as possible. 

When nothing happened, Nathan just sort of figured Toki had forgotten about it. And then he’d started having those weird dreams about whales, and that thing with the liquid master had happened, and Pickles was so mad at him and pissing him off so much it was starting to border on cold war feud territory… and he kinda forgot too. 

Fast forward about a year and Nathan was still reeling from all the shit that had gone down. They all were, really. Everything from Roy’s death to Charles’ sudden resignation to Toki and Abigail’s rescue, it was too much to take in and make sense of. Had they become better people or something? Were they expected to save the world now, all by their dumbass selves? 

It was Nathan’s turn to sit in the box-like hospital room with Toki and keep an eye on him, make sure he didn’t wake up from his frequent drugged naps and go totally postal on the doctors and nurses or whatever, so he was crammed into the unfairly narrow visitor’s chair and trying to think. Not just about all the weird shit that had gone down, either… Ever since that, hrm hrm HRMMM, thing with Abigail on the Dethsub, Charles hadn’t been anything more than politely civil towards him. It had fucked up the whole boss-and-employee-with-benefits thing all to hell, and Nathan couldn’t help wondering guiltily if that was part of why the guy had left. They’d heard through the grapevine that Charles had taken over for that old priest who’d died, but none of Nathan’s calls or texts to the man seemed to go through anymore. 

“Nathans?” croaked a raspy voice. The frontman looked up to meet Toki’s bleary gaze. “Are you here’s to helps me goes to the b-a-s-t-h-r-o-h-m-n-s-e?” 

“Uhhhh…” It took his fumbling brain a moment to figure that one out, but when he got it, he grimaced. “No. They gave you a catheter after you pissed on Skwisgaar and he fell and broke his ass for a couple days. Just… go ahead and pee where you are.”

“Oh.” Toki giggled, either about the Skwisgaar thing or at the privilege of peeing without wetting the bed. “Okays.”

There was a deeply uncomfortable silence, during which Nathan pretended he didn’t know exactly what his band mate was doing over there. 

“Nathans?” Toki asked again. 

Fully expecting to be asked for ice water and a crazy straw, Nathan sighed and levered himself out of the uncomfortable chair. They all took Toki duty every few days, partly to protect the hospital staff but partly to reassure themselves that the kid — even though Nathan was technically younger, it was hard not to think of Toki as the baby of their fucked up little family — really was alive and well. Or at least, healing. Not dead, anyway, and definitely no longer a missing-in-action Schrödinger’s guitarist. After all that time they’d spent dicking around when they could’ve just fucking manned up and helped with the search, getting him water or his deddybear seemed fair enough penance. It beat having to say sorry, anyway. 

“Yeah, what?”

“You remembers… that time what’s I saw you and Charleses doings it up the butts?” 

Nathan froze, all the blood slamming out of his face in shock. “Uhhhhhhhhhh…” 

“Is he mads at you ‘cause of Abigails?” Toki continued weakly but earnestly. “I talks to her yesterdays and she saids maybe that ams what happens why he goes to that church place.” 

The creepy thing about that was, Abigail had opted to be moved to another hospital so she could be closer to her family. Several weeks ago. 

“So maybes whats you should does is… apoljisecks to hims in person, likes you did with Pickle.” 

“Toki, that’s…” Nathan scowled, trying to find the right words to convey how he felt about that suggestion. “Apologizing is really fucking lame and not metal. And you know how I feel about that.” 

Toki just looked at him with a grimace that said, Reallies? Okays, we does it this ways then. He groped around for the bed controls and hit the button that elevated his pillows slightly, so he was practically sitting up. 

“Nathans,” he slurred, “I talks to all the guys, and they says you should does it. Espescially Pickle, he said he was ams very moved whens you did it to hims. And Skwisgaar says you ams really bumming everyones out because you needs to get laid. Even Morderface agrees you beens in a real weirds mood since the submarines… I think that says a lots.” 

“What… does that say?” Nathan asked with menacing slowness, his scowl deepening stubbornly, but on the inside he was totally freaking out. Toki had talked to the guys about this? All of them? 

And those assholes actually backed him up on this apologizing thing? 

Toki gave him a wavery smile. “That you misses and cares about hims.” 

“I don’t— God, you’re making it sound gayer than it actually is.”

“Whats am gayer than sex in the butts with two guys?” Toki asked, puzzled.

There wasn’t really any good answer for that, so Nathan just stomped over to the window and glared out through it at nothing, his arms crossed sullenly over his chest. Yeah, he was pissed at Toki, but dammit if the kid hadn’t hit a nerve about his conflicted feelings over their former manager.

He thought about the long string of texts on his phone — all sent to Charles, with no reply for months. At some point the stupid knock knock jokes and links to cat memes had given way to things like Did you get my text and Just fucking talk to me you dick.

He thought about how he really had been in a piss-poor mood ever since being stuck on that sub for three months, and how it no longer felt quite adequate to simply blame his own actions on Charles holding out on him so they could all focus on the new album. After all, it was the album that was somehow supposed to save the fucking world, right? And sure, Charles could’ve explained that at the time, but Nathan had to admit it wouldn’t have had the same convincing affect as a giant flying dude coming out of nowhere and murdering the head of their record label with scary-ass mind powers. 

He thought about fooling around with Charles, getting the guy to loosen up a little for a change, and how afterwards Charles would be all relaxed and pliant and actually laugh at shit like a normal person… 

“Nathans?” 

“WHAT?” 

“Can I haves a cups of ice waters whats got a real cool straw?” Toki asked petulantly. His pout at being snapped at was practically audible. 

When Nathan stomped out of the room to get the requested drink, he stopped a passing doctor by grabbing onto one lab-coated arm and swinging her around. 

“Hey,” he demanded gruffly, jabbing a thumb back over his shoulder towards Toki’s room, “is that dildo okay to be moved?” 

The doctor blinked. “Um, yes, Mr. Explosion. He still needs to be on medication, but he’s healing up more quickly than expected.” 

“Good,” Nathan growled, “because were going on a trip. Get him ready to go by… uh, just as soon as possible. Got it?” He’d been about to say tomorrow, but now that he’d decided on his next course of action he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. Releasing the bewildered physician, he rounded on the klokateers standing guard outside Toki’s door. “You guys, you call… someone, and make sure the submarine is ready to go. And tell all the guys, too.” 

He straightened up to his full imposing height — not that anyone around him needed to be more intimidated, it just felt cool and important to do every once in a while. Without realizing it, his growl was starting to take on some of the ominous rumble of prophecy. 

“We’re going back into the ocean.”