#in order to keep getting story focus she has to keep pushing

[taciturnakaryocyte]

one of my fave things about vriska is that her character is not inherently relevant. june is core to the story and the story will bend over backwards to center her, regardless of if she's actively trying to maintain focus or not. but vriska is only relevant when she tries to be. does that make sense?

everything vriska is known for is her attempts to become relevant. outcries for attention, killing aradia and tavros, trying to go kill bec noir, and searching for the juju in the dream bubbles- they're the only things in the story that relate to her that get any focus. vriska's unintentional mistakes are never caught in the camera of the story's eye; when she is used as a character, it's always to illustrate a larger goal. the cycle of revenge, and the futility of resisting against the story's current seem to be the biggest ones- but june can just change the story to be whatever she wants.

[miedei]

indulging you.

spencer finds himself spread thin when trying to get both you and JJ home.

a/n: I haven't even watched s18 yet but I'm so fucking devastated about will so here's a happy fic featuring will, I love that man with the crazy accent! this is also inspired by a time when my friend climbed into a private park when drunk and then forgot how to climb the fence to get out so we had to call the police

cw: fem!reader, alcohol consumption, drunken antics that are a bit stupid, spencer is soooo annoyed but he loves you so who cares

wc: 1.5k

mlist

(reblogs are the only way to promote fics on tumblr! please reblog if you enjoyed it :) )

Will is sitting (sprawled) out on the couch, a heavy sigh pushing itself from his lungs. He loves their kids more than anything in the world, but their bedtime routine runs him ragged every time. And doing it alone is a whole other story, his entire body filled with gratitude the moment Henry’s breath finally evened out. 

He revels in a few minutes of blessed silence, beer bottle hanging from his fingertips. It’s only once he’s finally melted against the back of the couch that his phone begins to vibrate in his pocket. Fishing it out, the too-bright screen flashes “SPENCER” across it. 

Swiping his finger across the screen, he brings it to his ear, immediately wincing at the onslaught of sound. 

“JJ, get down! Please?” 

Spencer sounds tried, his tone bogged down with frustration and sleepiness. 

“...Spence?”

“Yeah, Will, I’ve got— sweetheart, stay here, please— Um, I wanted to give you a head’s up, we’re going to drop JJ off in about ten minutes. They’re both a little…”

The sounds of DC at night bleed through the phone, cars honking and voices floating through towards Will. He can’t help but chuckle, scrubbing a hand down his face as he imagines what Spencer’s dealing with. 

“They’re three sheets to the wind, huh?”

Spencer lets out a pitiful sound.

Ever since Spencer showed up outside the club to pick you up, he’s been sure this night would seem far longer than it is. Clearly, he was right.

He’s got a hand tangled in the back of your jacket, making sure you stay close. His other hand is busy holding his phone to his ear, so he has to settle for instructing you to hold JJ’s hand, hoping to keep you both near.

Unfortunately, you both seem to be at the stage of drunk where you have very little awareness of your surroundings, swaying back and forth as you slowly move down the street. Tightening his grip on your jacket, he turns his focus back to Will on the phone.

“Yeah, I think you’re going to have your hands full, wanted to let you know in case the boys are still up and about.”

Will’s accented drawl rolls through the speakers of his phone, laughter colouring every word.

“Okay, thanks for letting me know. And thanks for picking them up, Spence, I know it’s a struggle.”

Spencer falls silent for a moment, just observing. You shrug off your jacket, leaving it hanging limp in Spencer’s hand, and he watches after you helplessly as you latch on to JJ. It seems as though JJ is trying to climb a wrought-iron fence into a closed park, but both the alcohol and your body attached to hers is impairing her. 

Distractedly, Spencer murmurs down the phone to Will as he wedges the phone between his shoulder and ear, reaching a hand out in case the two of you topple over.

“Yeah, it’s no problem, I’m sure— JJ, be careful, you’re going to fall over! I’m— I'm sure you had your hands full with the kids anyways.”

JJ’s shaken you off, somehow nimble enough to climb slowly up the fence with you cheering her on from below. 

“Spence! Look how high she’s getting!”

You look elated, gesturing wildly at the few inches between JJ’s feet and the ground. 

Nodding absentmindedly, Spencer comes to stand next to you, grabbing your arm and placing it securely around his middle in order to keep you close.

“Yeah, angel, I see it, but… JJ! Please get down, you’re drunk! You can’t break into a park right now!”

Will’s laughter fills his ears, just as JJ calls back down at him, getting surprisingly high for her intoxicated state.

“You can’t tell me what to do, Spencer! You forget the dirt I have on you, Baby Genius.”

Spencer huffs out an exasperated sigh, at a loss. Will hasn't stopped laughing, as if he’s got no sympathy for the predicament. 

Another group of people walk by, shooting them incredulous looks. After nodding at them in embarrassment, Spencer yells up to JJ over your snickering. 

“Jayj, I’ve got Will on the phone! Don’t you want to talk to him?”

That seems to get her attention, her head whipping around as she freezes. The sudden movement causes her to teeter wildly, Spencer squeaking out a sound of distress. 

“He’s on the phone? Hey, give it here!”

She reaches down, but Spencer shakes his head resolutely. 

“No, come down to the ground, then you can talk to him.”

With a disgruntled look, JJ gets around to climbing down the two feet of fence she’d scaled, before hopping to the ground with another annoyed look at Spencer, her hands splayed out as if to say See?. 

“Didn’t fall, did I? I’m in the FBI, Spencer. Obviously I can climb a fence.” 

She mock-lunges for his phone, before he hands it to her, grabbing her shoulder to make sure she doesn’t run off again. 

JJ’s voice flips a switch the moment she grabs the phone, turning from mocking to saccharine-sweet as she croons something or the other down the phone to Will. Thankful that she’s distracted, Spencer shifts his attention back to you, who’s leaning heavily against his side as you fiddle with your shoes.

“What’s up, angel? You okay?”

“I’m taking off my shoes, handsome.” You reply, as if it’s obvious.

“Your shoes? How are you going to walk home then?

“I don’t know, Spence, but my feet hurt so bad.”

Your voice has taken on a whiny quality, and he sighs again, knowing what’s going to happen, as if he has any power to say no. 

“Can you piggyback me?”

There it is. By all accounts he should be annoyed, and sure, he is a little, but every cell in his body is tuned to say yes to you. He couldn’t refuse if he tried.

When you finally get moving again, JJ’s clutching Spencer’s brick of a phone in both hands, pressing it hard against her ear. You’re clinging on to his back, heels in hand as you hum a song that he vaguely recognises into his ear. He’s got his hands full, one clutching your leg to make sure they don’t unwind from around his torso, and the other desperately clutching JJ’s shoulder as she walks ahead of him. 

It takes double the amount of time that it should, but finally, the three of you turn the corner onto JJ’s street. In the line of townhouses, only one door is open, light streaming out as Will stands in the doorway, phone in hand as he watches your little procession come down the street. 

JJ doesn’t seem to notice him until Spencer points him out, an excited sound leaving her mouth at the sight. She lowers the phone, shoving it into Spencer’s hand, before rushing forward, bounding up the steps to her home. 

Will accepts her hug readily, his eyes dancing as he meets Spencer’s. It seems as though you’ve only now seen him, excitedly greeting him from over Spencer’s head. 

“Will!”

Will cries your name out with a similar level of enthusiasm, his smile wide. 

“Had a good night?”

Both you and JJ begin recounting the night, the overlapping chatter ensuring that neither Will nor Spencer can understand a word. 

Waiting patiently for you to run out of steam, Spencer squeezes your thigh affectionately, speaking softly up at you. 

“You ready to go home, sweetheart?”

You take some time to mull it over, but finally nod your head in assent. 

Looking over at Will and JJ, Spencer grins as he hears JJ say something about how Spencer’s a bit of a wet blanket, but we had fun!. Waving goodnight, he turns around, beginning the path home, but not before calling over his shoulder: 

“Goodnight! JJ, drink a lot of water, please.”

“You’re not Hotch, I don’t answer to you!”

Spencer’s grin only widens, brushing his thumb up and down the back of your knee as he hears their door shut behind you. 

You’ve fallen silent, your hands dangling over his chest as you tuck your face into his neck. 

The position’s uncomfortable, the heels you clutch in your hands are digging into his front, and your warm breath is making his neck especially ticklish. Despite that, the feeling of your murmured ramblings that sink into his skin, and your weight resting pleasantly on his back seems to override any complaints he might have. 

He knows what’s going to happen. He’s going to indulge you, obviously. He’s going to walk you home without a word in protest. He’s going to make you a grilled cheese, when you inevitably get hungry. He’s going to get you into bed, and he knows he won’t be saying anything to deter you from falling asleep sprawled on top of him.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Duck on a String III

Jessie Fleming x Child!Reader

Summary: The team meet your duck

Mama lets you bring your red wagon to training today because you don't want Sir Quackers to be alone at home.

He's got a big cage to keep him safe with lots of blankets and water and food for him and you get to pull him along in your wagon.

You knighted him last night while you and Mama were playing kings and queens so now he's Sir Quackers instead of just Quackers and you love him very much.

Jessie doesn't want your duck being left alone in the house either. He's proven to be a bit of a menace by himself if the chewed-up boxes of cereal are anything to go by.

No.

He's much safer in his cage while he's still too small for the harness and leash Jessie's ordered for when he's older.

"Mama," You say," Will the others like Sir Quackers?"

You seem completely enamoured with him and, despite the fact that the duck seems to think he rules the house, Jessie loves him too.

"They'll love him," She assures you, fondly pushing your hair out of your face as you both approach the doors," Make sure you tell Magda just how thankful you are about her getting Quackers for you."

"Sir Quackers, Mama," You remind her," We knighted him."

"Oh, you're right. Sir Quackers. Sorry, duckie."

"That's okay! He's still getting used to his name too!"

Your proud entrance gets a bit hampered by the fact that your wagon gets caught at a strange angle so Jessie has to help you get it through the doorway.

By that point, the whole room has fallen silent and Magda has grown incredibly pale as you approach her.

"Thank you for my duck, Uncle Magda!"

Pernille scoffs next to her, muttering sarcastically," A dead egg, huh, Magda?"

"Er...You're the welcome," Magda manages to get out after a long bout of silence.

"His name is Sir Quackers!" You tell her, grabbing her by the hand and dragging her through the small crowd that has surrounded your wagon," Because ducks say quack and Mama and me knighted him. So he's Sir Quackers and not just Quackers."

"A duck, huh?" Erin snickers and Jessie buries her face in her hands, Niamh rubbing her shoulders.

"She was very excited."

"Do you know how to take care of the duck?"

"The vet sent us home with an information pack. Duckie's insiting we read it as her bedtime story every night."

"That's sweet," Niamh offers up," It shows she's taking this seriously."

"She keeps trying to sneak out of bed to play with him. I've had to move the duck into my room to make sure I catch her."

Erin can't stop snickering and soon Sam and Guro are laughing too.

"Is it that bad?" Niamh asks and Jessie has to begrudgingly shake her head.

She watches as you hold Magda hostage by your side, very excitedly waffling on about how cool Sir Quackers is and how he's your bestest friend in the world.

Magda looks unbelievably nervous, eyes wide as Pernille stares daggers at her. She ducks her head down to focus on you again, hoping that by showing interest, she can avoid whatever lecture Pernille's already planning in her head.

"Do you want to hold him?" You ask and Magda freeze, throat suddenly going dry.

"W-What?"

"Do you want to hold Sir Quackers?"

"Erm..."

"Are you scared, uncle Magda? That's okay! I'll hold him and you can stroke him!"

You show no fear as you pick Sir Quackers up and offer him to Magda to pet.

"I'm sorry about her," Pernille says, watching from a distance as she slides next to Jessie," She assured me it was dead."

"It's fine," Jessie assures her," I think it's nice Duckie has a friend now."

"Magda will willingly babysit them both."

"I can't ask that."

"You don't need to ask," Pernille says," It's what's going to happen. Magda can supervise duck play."

They both turn in sync to see Magda really awkwardly stroking Sir Quackers as he tries to eat her finger.

"Mama!" You say, looking at Jessie proudly," He is giving uncle Magda kisses!"

[ldysmfrst]

American Mate (16) - We are Alphas

Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader

Status: Ongoing series

Chapter number: 16 of unknown

Word count for Chapter: 6,822

Work count for Story: 130,009

Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine

A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children, one of whom has special needs, and the other loves everyone. I started a Patreon, and I would be grateful if you donated to help me make ends meet while I am out of work because I almost died in August of 2024.

Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This chapter does have pack dynamics, Alphas fronting, and discussions of the past. There are cuddles in this one, figured it was needed after the last chapter. FYI, I swear the Bangtan boys wrote this chapter, not me!

BTS HYBRID ANIMAL TYPES: Seokjin - Roan Ferret, Yoongi - Black Jaguar, Hoseok - Marten, Namjoon - Alaskan Timber Wolf, Jimin - Red Panda, Taehyung - White Southwest African Tiger, Jungkook - Flemish Giant Rabbit

AMERICAN MATE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST

“Sit down, Taehyung-ah,” orders Namjoon just as the tiger hybrid is about to get up and follow you to your den. “You already have given her enough to deal with. Tailing after her could very well push her in a direction, and with how things are, we don’t know if it will be a good one or not.”

With a frustrated sigh and a pout, Taehyung says, “I wasn’t gonna do anything.” He then turns around and leans against the couch instead—his thoughts, along with everyone else's, spiral in several different directions. The internal loud silence that fills the living room reveals how flustered and perplexed the seven hybrids are. 

“Can someone please convince me that our ladymate didn’t just tell us, in a roundabout way, that she wanted to stay with Hyung and me this morning?” Jimin asks in a soft but desperate voice. His fluffy, striped tail switches between an excited swishing to a nervous flicking motion while he waits for someone to agree with him out loud. 

Unfortunately, his request is met with an even louder silence. Their thoughts, having agreed with Jimin’s, have played out more than what would be considered an unhealthy amount of possible outcomes from that particular situation. While this seems to be a step in the right-ish direction, the pack is still in what they consider unstable and uncharted territory. 

Well, to be honest, this whole situation was uncharted territory for the seven of them because their new mate was A—a female and B—a human. So much information has been gathered in such a short time that has to be processed and addressed, but how? When?

Those who went to the pack meeting with your Family pack haven’t had the chance to share what they learned with the rest of the bonded mates, which allows them to have a better understanding and even more desire to soothe, heal, and support you. However, it was agreed that they would wait until they could guarantee privacy from staff. 

As the silence continues in the living room with their minds occupied, their ears intently focus on you. They can’t hear anything from your den, which indicates that you, like them, are a bit off-center about this meeting, or so they hope. 

After what seems like an eternity, the soft padding of your footfalls finally indicates that you have reached some point in your thoughts that allows you to move and not be frozen. It allows a release of the tension surrounding the bonded mates. As the energy becomes less heightened, Jungkook crawls into Yoongi’s lap with a hand stroking Taehyung’s hair, seeking comfort. The soft exhales from some of them break the silence, along with the rustling of clothes as they relax into their seats. 

“I think,” hesitantly starts Hoseok. “I think we need to do a few things with her. We can’t just keep thinking that she is fully educated on hybrid customs and behaviors like our past playmates because she isn’t. She isn’t educated properly, nor is she a playmate.”

“I also think she needs to learn to love herself more,” frowns Hoseok, his eyes drilling holes into the carpet.

“You noticed that, too? I think her family did an excellent job of crushing any kind of self-awareness or self-love for herself,” Yoongi says with a hint of snarl in his voice. “As her Alphas and her mates, it’s our job to ensure that she not only understands how exquisite she is to us but she also needs to see it with her own eyes.”

Nodding, Hoseok adds, “I think I can help that. I mean with my self-image issues from before, I have a personal perspective on what it’s like to experience that kind of pressure, more or less. Also, maybe in time, I can use some of my shibari skills to help with not only her body image issues but her trust as well.”

A collective hum comes from the pack. It’s been several years since Hoseok fought his demons when it came to his looks. For Seokjin and Namjoon, when those pictures of their mate bound in a mask find their way back into circulation because Army does those ‘glow up’ or 'where they started’ comparison shots on TikTok or Instagram, the feeling of failing to support their mate as the leader and the oldest surfaces.

As Jimin sits more comfortably in Seokjin’s lap, he looks at his mates confidently before offering assistance, saying, “I could teach her about nesting, specifically what it means at the hybrid level with all the differences between a den nest and a pack nest, along with the boundaries and such?”

“That is a good idea, Jimin-ah, but you must be delicate about it because of her past,” warns Hoseok. “You can’t just burst in and take over. I don’t want us to treat her like a kit, but at the same time…”

“Her ideas and thought processes are similar to how you were when you first joined us because you were both raised with misinformation or misguidance on acceptable behaviors,” says Yoongi. “I am not sure why her mother’s side of the family would have even associated her ‘blanket forts’ with a nest, though. I guess it was just too close of a behavior.”

Looking at Jimin, Yoongi continues, “I think she can learn a lot from you and Kook-ah. However, I think that, based on how you were raised, you might connect with her better.”

Unlike Jungkook, Jimin doesn’t necessarily like to discuss his past because it is something that he would very much like to forget. It took him almost a year to share details with his bonded mates. Now, lost in his thoughts, Jimin wonders if he should be upfront and detailed about it with you or just allude to what happened.

Jungkook whines at the thought of being unable to connect with you on a deeper level, prompting Taehyung to push against the bunny hybrid’s hand in his hair, saying, “Don’t worry, Kookie. You already have a connection with Y/n that is stronger than the rest of us. I think you might even have a better connection than Yoongi-hyung does.”

Tilting his head up from Yoongi’s lap, Jungkook peers over the arm of the couch at Jimin and snarkily says, “Speaking of my level of connection with Y/n, apparently it isn’t strong enough to garner an invitation into her nest.”

All eyes look to Jimin with hints of jealousy and curiosity, but mostly envy. Putting on a sly smirk and leaning into the eldest’s hold, the memory of your body tangled with his is still fresh in his mind, causing his scent to spike with sweetness. Jimin curves his body against Jin in a way that he knows will get his mates going, but the soft nip from Seokjin on his shoulder makes Jimin roll his eyes and shake his head, saying, “She had a nightmare about her past and the nest.”

“I had decided to sit on guard outside her door because I wanted to be the first mate she saw when she woke up due to what happened when I stepped on Taehyungie’s tail and ruined your night, Namjoon-hyung,” the red panda explains. “I knew something was… wrong when she had gone to sleep on the window bench, not the nest I made for her.”

Namjoon opens his mouth to reassure the younger, but the slight shake of Seokjin’s head stops him, allowing Jimin to continue, “It hadn’t been long before I heard her softly crying and making pained noises as if she were being attacked. When she didn’t respond to me calling her by name, I entered her den and saw…”

Jimin pauses with a gulp. “I saw her in the tiny ball crying, clutching her stomach and whining. I literally had to shake her awake. She took a moment to realize where she was and who I was, but the next thing I knew, she was in my lap,” recalls Jimin. “She didn’t want to talk about it then but wanted the pack meeting to discuss everything with everyone.”

“While this is all and good to know, it doesn’t explain how you ended up sleeping with her,” flatly says Taehyung, who gets a smack to the back of the head by Yoongi. To which he whines, “well, it doesn’t.”

Giggling at the two, Jimin nods, replying, “You're right. When I asked her why she didn’t sleep in the nest when she returned, she answered that it was too perfect to sleep in. So, I carried, not without her complaining of her weight, over to her nest and put her inside.”

“She seemed still tense and expressed how we are so close that she doesn’t want to ruin anything. I explained that she wouldn't ruin anything because she wasn’t a typical playmate but she still didn’t relax in the nest. It worried me, so I… ah… well, I tested the bond,” Jimin says, trailing off. 

Shifting to look at Jimin better, Seokjin questions, “Jimin-ah, what did you do?”

“Please tell me you didn’t push yourself on her?” Hoseok asks darkly.

“No! I…” Jimin scoffs. “I asked her if I could join her in the nest. I even told her she could say no, but she didn’t. She relaxed almost immediately, even while keeping a respectful distance aside from holding her hand.”

“You didn’t look so respectfully distant when I found you together this morning,” pointed out the eldest.

“I will get to that,” Jimin rushes out with blush-tinted cheeks. “I shared a bit about our past with playmates. I figured it would help her not to feel so vulnerable with me so close, and it worked because when I went to leave, she asked me to stay. After a rather cute and telling discussion of sleeping arrangements, she had me sleep between her and the door for protection, under the blanket for warmth, and facing each other, but she didn’t give a reason.”

Tilting his head, Jimin continues, “I think it was mostly because she doesn’t want to over step but after today that may change. Anyway, she warned she moves alot in her sleep and I am pretty sure that is how we ended up so entangled.”

“She smelled interested when I joked about having to tie her down if she became a human tornado, Hobi-hyung,” Jimin says, wiggling his eyebrows.

With that, Hoseok grabs Jimin’s hand to head up to his den to discuss how to enact their part of the plan and check to see if Hoseok even brought his ropes with him on this trip—only pausing long enough to look to Namjoon for permission to leave the pack meeting. 

Taking in the more relaxed scents of his mates, aside from a spike of nerves and arousal from various makes, Namjoon thinks there isn’t much more that can be done right now. Standing, the Prime Alpha says, “Since Y/n left, I believe the pack meeting can conclude. I encourage everyone to reflect on what was discussed, and if you have a suggestion on how to help or have concerns about anything, you can always reach out to me.”

Seokjin heads to the kitchen to keep busy. Baking is one of the ways he can zone out to process things while still feeling like he hasn’t checked out of being a good mate. Some fresh cookies, non-chocolate, sound like a good idea and can be made on autopilot, or maybe making something for lunch would be good.  Opening the fridge, the eldest Alpha decides to make lunch and cookies while he deals with everything from finding Jimin in your bed to the topics of both meetings. 

Yoongi pulls Jungkook into his lap more, and the two cuddle into a ball. The attentive jaguar hybrid praises the youngest Alpha for being brave and sharing his past with their new mate. Jungkook blushes and buries his face into Yoongi’s neck with his little fluff of a cotton tail wiggling happily. It doesn’t take long for the two to fall into a light nap as they bask in each other’s warmth after the emotionally draining morning. 

Taehyung appears to be deep in thought. The influx of information has affected him more than he outwardly shows. His tail twitches out from under the couch in flicks as his thoughts bounce from one fact to another. He knows that hunting down the ex and the abysmal excuse of a family you have isn’t allowed, but that doesn’t stop him from imagining all the ways he could nor what he would do once he has his claws in them.

Namjoon watches Taehyung with concern etched on his face. After taking in his lack of movement and the warmth of his ebony scent, Namjoon doesn’t think the tiger will do anything, so he leaves him be– for now.  Even though Yoongi is focused on their youngest and napping, Namjoon trusts him to wake up and react if Taehyung’s scent changes. The Prime Alpha also trusts the others to help by reining the quick-tempered tiger in or seeking help if anything arises. With a soft sigh, Namjoon decides this might be a good time to discuss a few more personal things with you.

Making his way to your den, the wolf hybrid strains his hearing to try and pick up your heartbeat and breathing since your stressed-out scent is still lingering in the hall. He leans into his instincts as an apex predator and an Alpha to ensure you are, at least physically, in a good spot to take visitors. Unfortunately, it doesn't let him know if you are emotionally or mentally ready for it.

As he listens to your gentle, measured breaths and your calm, rhythmic heartbeats, Namjoon knocks on the door. The rapid footsteps approaching the door make the Alpha question if you had been expecting someone. When the door swings open, Namjoon offers a friendly smile and adopts what he hopes is an open posture to indicate that his visit has a positive purpose.

“Oh, Namjoon, I wasn’t,” you start to say, seemingly caught off guard that he is the one who came. “I mean, is everything okay? I know I kinda rushed out of there. I didn’t even close the pack meeting, I just more or less bolted which isn’t proper of me. I should know better, I mean, I do know better.”

“Y/n, Angel, everything is good. I think the meeting was a good idea and we covered a lot of… deep topics,” He answers, trying to reassure you. “May I enter your den?”

Jumping slightly and scooting out of the way, you gesture for him to enter, saying, “Of course, how rude of me. Sorry. Umm… you may sit where you wish, Alpha.”

“No need to be sorry. I just wanted to have some…” Namjoon’s voice trails off as he walks in and sees your Jimin-built nest on the bed. He can tell that it’s been used, which gives him a sense of pride because you must find their sense comforting and, hopefully, safe. He knew you slept in it, but seeing it hits differently.  Taking a slow, deep breath, he inhales the scents from the nest. The mixture is much richer since adding your sweetpea, almost as if it had been absent the whole time.

You leave the door slightly ajar and turn to face Namjoon. With a tilted head and raised eyebrow, you ask him, "Some?”

His eyes flick between you and the nest before he smiles. Walking to sit on the window bench, he continues his train of thought, “Some time to speak with you again, minus the flashing lights of the red carpet and the other packmates. That is, if it is okay with you?”

“Sure, I will always try to find time for our Prime Alpha,” you answer, missing the flash of forest green eyes at the subtle but unknowing claim you said. As you pull one of the pillows from the window bench to sit on the floor, Namjoon gently tugs on the other end, his eyes slightly narrowed as he gestures to the space beside him. Smiling shyly, you pause mid-squat and sit beside him on the window bench. 

Turning to face you, the Alpha looks at you in a way that makes you feel like he is looking through you. It is a look you have seen from Derek and Evie when they are trying to figure you out without actually asking you. His breathing is steady and deep, which tells you he is trying to catch how your emotions are by your scent. Luckily for you and him, your scent is soft sweetpea with the undertone of vanilla, showing that you are no longer flustered or anxious from the pack meeting.

“How are you feeling? After the pack meeting?” asks the Prime Alpha, his instincts leading him to ensure he understands your scent's basics. “Your scent seems to be almost neutral. I assume my being in your den is why there is a perfumed edge to your natural sweetpea.”

Sitting up straight, you shake your head, arguing, “No! I don’t have a problem with you being in my room… ah den. I mean, you are the Prime Alpha and it is your packhouse that I am in. So, you have every right to be able to come into this space.”

“Actually, no. That isn’t correct,” frowns Namjoon. “I will say this, and Jimin will get more into the depths of it later: your space is your space. At any time, if you want to be left alone or not to allow any of us to be allowed into your den you have that right.”

Holding your hand between his two larger hands, he looks at you with a serious but warm gaze. “This is every bit your packhouse as it is mine, Yoongi-hyungs, or any of us,” he says, stroking his thumb across your hand. “You have a voice as strong as any of us regarding your comfort, well-being, and needs.”

Your eyes widen at his statement and cause you to shift in your spot. Swallowing, you shyly smile and answer, “Umm… I sort of got that impression. I know myself well enough to remind myself this is all a temporary thing, but sometimes, with how you all talk, it’s like… I don’t know, Namjoon. It’s just different.”

He has to bite his tongue and try his hardest not to correct your perception of ‘this thing,’ which is very much not just a thing nor temporary. Namjoon wants to confirm that no shit it’s different because you are their mate. He decided it was best not to get into that issue right now with everything you have heard so far, but he is afraid that you won’t hear it from him in the right way if he told you it to begin with. He already botched this once; he doesn't want to do it again. After a moment, Namjoon redirects the conversation to one of the reasons why he came in. 

“I wanted to thank you for attending the Gala with me last night,” Namjoon says while looking at your still connected hands. “I also wanted to commend you on how well you handled the situation with the carpet. I should have been in better control of myself but, then again, I haven’t ever taken a… a playmate to an event alone before. That was a first for me.”

Your scent fluffs a bit sweeter as you smile at him. “Thank you, Prime Alpha. I had hoped I did the right thing. I didn’t realize how much my scent would affect you, or I would have tried to keep it calm or turn it off, not that I know how to do that,” you say with your smile faltering. “That was a first for me too, the LACMA Gala and the Alphaing out thing. I am just glad that Jennie-ssi and Jung Jae-ssi were there to show me where to go.”

The memory of Namjoon's koalaing to your back causes you to giggle, which makes said Alpha look at you with a raised eyebrow, and you can’t help but laugh more. “You, ah, got very clingy. You reminded me more of a Koala hybrid than a Wolf hybrid then,” you smile. “It was cute and calming.”

A faint blush colors Namjoon’s face as he pulls his hands out from holding yours. You, however, reach out and hold his hands in yours instead. His eyes are looking at you with a hint of shock and curiosity.

“Namjoon, Prime Alpha,” you start with a soft expression, hoping your scent conveys your sincerity. “I know we started on the wrong foot. Not just you and I, but the whole pack and I. How I became your playmate wasn’t ideal, but it was what you thought was best for your packmates at the time.”

Namjoon goes to jump in, only to have you cut him off and continue by saying, “I know Hoseok thinks you need to grovel and beg me for forgiveness, kinda like how Taehyung is doing, but as the Luna of my family pack, I understand why you did what you did, more or less.”

“No, Y/n,” quietly says Namjoon with a slightly pained look. “It was wrong of me. Utterly wrong of me.”

Now it was your turn to be cut off from trying to excuse him out of feeling guilty when Namjoon stood up and walked away. Without turning back to you, he says, “There is so much… I mean, there are things your family has taught you about hybrids that are a bit awry. I am sure that your family pack has tried to help teach you more things but then again, it’s hard to change something that someone has lived with their whole life.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, shifting in your seat. “I know about hybrid stuff. I don’t know about Alpha-specific things, but I can see if I can take a class for that. I am sure PMS will pay for it.”

Shaking his head, Namjoon turns to face you. He looked to the ceiling and ran his hand through his hair, stopping to scratch the back of his wolf ear before he answered, “You have a pack full of Alphas that are more than happy to teach you more accurately than any class will. Jimin-ah said he would enjoy teaching you the hybrid way of nests and boundaries. Hoseok has some ideas about other things, and I am sure the rest of us will find our things to show and teach you.”

“We,” Namjoon pauses, mumbling something about why words do not seem to work well around you before he looks at you and continues, “We don’t want to push you too far too fast, and I am worried we might. Please remember that you always have the right to stop anything we do. If any of us make you uncomfortable, please don’t hesitate to come to me, and if it’s me, you can talk with one of the hyungs, okay?”

You look at the floor with scrunched brows. “Why is that a recurring thing with you?” you ask, looking up at him with a very concerned look. “Every time we talk about something or do something, someone brings up that I can stop things and say no. Are you trying to make sure I know or are you all trying to remind yourselves that I can?”

Your accusatory tone and the point of your question take back Namjoon. It makes him pause and stare at you as your scent turns more into its perfumed side, meaning he has done nothing towards settling things with you and only makes you worry more. Rubbing his hand down his face, he lets out a low growl of frustration at himself.

Knock Knock

Namjoon spins around to your door, his growl deepening at the interruption before he sees Seokjin standing there. With a huff, Namjoon stops growling, and his shoulders sag at seeing the eldest mate. 

“I just wanted to let you know that lunch is ready,” Seokjin says with narrowed eyes and a slightly turned head as he takes in Namjoon’s reaction to a simple knock on the door. Looking past his Prime Alpha, he takes in your stiff posture, instinctively making him take a deeper breath. 

Namjoon’s leather smells like it has been left under the sun for too long, and it mixes with your perfumed sweetpea, but there remains the hint of the vanilla mate scent. Shaking his head, Seokjin steps inside your den to stand beside the wolf hybrid, who follows his movements with a pleading look. 

Putting his arms around Namjoon, Seokjin looks at you with a soft smile. “I take it the pack meeting didn’t stop in the living room?” he asks.

You roll your eyes in an almost agreeing movement, turning your head away from the two. Namjoon just lets out a soft whine and leans into the elder mate. “I see,” says Seokjin. “Well, there have been a lot of deep discussions and apparently unanswered questions or mixed feelings remain.”

“You got that right,” you mumble under your breath. Both hybrids hear it. Namjoon looks at Seokjin with wide eyes. His scent turns more into a burnt version. 

With a sigh, Seokjin maneuvers Namjoon to start heading out the door, instructing, “Joonie-ah, go and gather the pack for lunch. I am sure our muscle bunny has probably already started, but get the rest to settle in. Y/n and I will join in a few, but don’t wait.”

Opening his mouth to object, wanting to help resolve what he assumes is another fuck up on his part. Seokjin raises his eyebrow and holds up a finger, causing the Prime Alpha to close his mouth and quickly walk out of the room. His actions pull an amused hum from you, bringing the eldest hybrid’s attention back to you. 

Looking up, you look back down quickly, saying, “Sorry. Never thought I would see a Prime Alpha back down and leave without a word like that.”

“Oh,” giggles Seokjin with a wave of his hand. “Namjoon is the Prime Alpha but every once in a while he needs his Hyung to get him to listen. He really is a lap puppy under all that tough, leader persona.”

Noting that your scent hasn’t changed much, even with Namjoon leaving, Seokjin asks, “Are you alright, Y/n?”

Looking back at the eldest hybrid, you think for a moment. Are you okay? Technically, yes, you are, but you are also full of questions that keep zipping around while feeling lost but not at the same time. A tap on your forehead causes you to blink your eyes and quickly lean back when you see Seokjin just inches from your face. 

“I lost you for a bit,” comments Seokjin. “Are you hungry or do you think you can wait for a bit?”

“Umm, well, I am not starving,” you answer. “Why?”

“Good, come with me,” Seokjin said, grabbing your hand, pulling you to your feet and out the door. In a booming voice, he yells, “Jungkook, Yoongi! Nesting room, now!”

Hissing at him, you say, “Jin! They are eating, what are you doing?”

“Just be a good girl and come with me,” he smirks. The sound of chairs scraping and shouts of agreement come, but your brain is shorting out on two simple words– good girl.

You have been called many things before in your lifetime, but a good girl has never been one of them, at least not that you can remember. The tingles that it gave your brain decided to trickle down your back like a teasing caress, and that was something you weren’t expecting. Then again, after only being around these men for about a week now, you should be used to the unexpected. The question you will have to unpack later is, was it the name ‘good girl,’ was it how Seokjin said it, or was it because Seokjin said it that caused that reaction?

For Jin, your scent doesn’t give away your internal reaction to those words as much as your sudden lack of resistance does. Glancing over his shoulder as he leads you down the hall to the nesting room, he can see your eyes have fallen to your feet while your cheeks have become rosie.

Inside the nesting room, Seokjin sits you on the edge of the nest and kneels at your feet. After looking at your soles, he shakes his head, grabs a wet wipe from one of the drawers, and starts wiping off what you think might be grass and dirt from your walk outside this morning. Seokjin was muttering something about dirty feet and Taehyung having a heart attack if he knew as he cleaned you up.

While he is doing that, Yoongi walks in, followed by Jungkook, who is still holding a sandwich. Both seem to pause for a second before the perfumed sweetpea hits them. With a shared look, Jungkook quickly scarfed down the sandwich and ran to the kitchen to get everyone bottled water and the mango package they had the staff bring just for you. 

Without a word, Yoongi moved into the nest and rearranged the pillows and blankets. After smelling the hint of leather and the state of your scent, his goal was to lessen Namjoon’s presence in the nest while still keeping it there enough that you would start to associate it as something safe. Pulling Jimin’s, Taehyung’s, and Hoseok’s scents towards the middle, hoping to give you a subconscious signal that your mates are with you right now. 

You watched everything happening with a soft smile. It didn’t take much to recognize that they would try and use contact comfort to help you collect your thoughts or at least slow them down. Evie’s family would do this with you often, as contact comfort was one of the most helpful in settling the scents of packmates. The idea that their wordless agreements and understanding of the situation were so in sync when it came to something like this with you made your heart warm and your scent to fluff with vanilla and a hint of pear. 

Once Jungkook was back, your feet were cleaned, and the nest was remade. Yoongi curled up to the far back of the nest while Jungkook and Seokjin stood outside in front of you. 

Putting down his snacks, Jungkook looked at you with concern, asking, “Sweets, is everything okay? Your scent is kind of confusing.” He takes a deeper breath before continuing, “It’s like, you are not rejecting what happened, but worrying about it? Yet there is something else but I don’t know what it means.”

Before you can answer, Seokjin answers, “She and Joonie had a talk in her den. I think our handsome mate still hasn’t learned how to speak without putting his paw in his mouth around a certain lovely lady.”

Yoongi grumbles from behind you before he reaches out with a hand on your shoulder and gently pulls you back into the nest. “Namjoon-ah needs to stop trying to fix things without talking to one of us,” comments the jaguar. 

“There really wasn’t anything to fix, though,” you retorted as you scooted back and centered yourself in the nest. “I told him I understood why he made me your playmate and that he was just looking out for you guys, and you could have sworn I told him that I didn’t think hybrids existed.”

“Then, when he told me about the plan to have you lot teach me the ropes about Alphas and I guess what it means to be a hybrid, he reminded me yet again that I can say no,” You huff pulling off his bathroom, which is trying to strangle you as it catches on the nesting materials. “I mean, how many times does he or any of you need to say it? Like, I got it. No means no; it always has.”

“Dear, Namjoon was only trying to ensure or reinforce that boundaries aren’t a problem,” Seokjin reiterates, to which you huff and throw the robe out of the nest. All three hybrids pause, watching as if throwing it aside signifies something more important than merely removing it and stopping it from being in the way. 

“Oh yeah, reinforce for who? I asked him,” You start to sass. “If the reminders were actually for me or him.” That garners a low, skin-tingling growl from Yoongi; meanwhile, Seokjin and Jungkook look like you just said something unexpected. 

“Princess,” growls Yoongi. “We. Are. Alphas. We are not like those trashy, self-indulgent, egotistical, unethical humans who hold the unfortunate claim to being male because they possess the right chromosomes.”

Shifting you further onto your back and leaning over you so that he is inches from your face, upside down, Yoongi continues, “But that is all they are– male. They are not men; they will never be considered an Alpha. It would be wise for you to remember that you are surrounded by Alpha men. Understood, Princess?”

Internally, you are yelling at yourself for the rush of arousal that floods your system at his nonpermissive tone of voice and darkened expression. Your scent flaring with sweetness as your vanilla mate scent thickens like a syrup, signaling the two less dominant mates in the room know that they can relax.  

You start to nod and pause when Yoongi’s eyes narrow slightly at your moments. Swallowing and licking your lip, you softly say, “Yes, Alpha.”

A smile softens his face at your reply. Slowly, Yoongi leans down, kisses your forehead softly, and mutters, “Good girl, Princess.”

There you go again, a tingle down your spine at the use of ‘good girl.’ Guess you now have your answer to the question. Apparently, the term caused a reaction because it has now happened to both Seokjin and Yoongi. God, you are gonna need to learn how to stop acting like a hormone-driven teenager around these “Alpha Men,” or you are gonna lose your job. Seriously, how do playmates do this day in and day out?

“Maybe they are just used to it? Not all of them can resist having some kind of attraction, or the partner rut contracts wouldn’t be a thing,” answers Jungkook, his ears standing tall and listening intently to everything.

You snap your head up, almost hitting Yoongi, and as you look at Jungkook with wide eyes, you ask, “Did… how much did I say out loud?”

Tilting his head, causing one ear to fold in half, with slight confusion, he slowly says, “How do playmates do this… day in and out? Did you not want an answer?”

You giggle softly and try to play it off, “I guess, I did. I just didn’t think I said it loud enough for you… umm… to hear.”

Jungkook smiles, happy to have answered your question with his exceptional hearing skills. “I can hear hushed things. It’s all part of being a prey hybrid. As a rabbit, I can hear something up to two miles away, but typically, the sound has to be in a higher pitch.”

You nod and lay back down, glancing up at Yoongi as he lies along the wall before looking at Seokjin. Seokjin and Yoongi snicker at your attempt but say nothing. 

Kneeling in the nest, Seokjin taps your leg, saying, “In your den, it seemed to me that you just need a moment to exist. Based on your actions, I also noticed that Yoongi and Kookie are your safe packmates in Bangtan.”

“I was thinking, you can take some time to lay in a proper nest with your two protectors and either relax, ask questions, explore your dynamic with them. Whatever you need right now,” offers Seokjin. “I will be here as well just to help facilitate, in case one of their Alphas front.”

“Oh, umm… Like a grounding session?” you ask to clarify. 

Seokjin smiles, agreeing, “Yes, a grounding session. Typically, as hybrids, we also scent the packmate that is the focus of the grounding session but that is entirely up to you.”

Jungkook inquisitively approaches the nest, asking, “Is it okay for me to come in? Can I lay at your back? Please?” His eyes look more like a doe than a bunny, which causes you to smile and nod because how could you deny such a simple request?

Excitedly, Jungkook hops into the nest and quickly gets in his spot behind you as you lean on your side, giving him space. While you spot Yoongi moving to take his place in front of you, you don’t notice Jungkook taking off his shirt. When Yoongi leans into your chest like a big kitten, nuzzling along the collarbones that peek out from your tank top sleepwear, you feel warm skin against your shoulders. You try to move away, but the weight of Yoongi on your chest and Jungkook’s arm wrapping around your waist stops you. 

Both of your protectors know they are pushing their actions a bit, but after the pack meeting, they are hopeful they can. At this point, all three hybrids can smell the spike perfume as they settle around you, but they wait to see what you will do. It takes only seconds for that perfume to dissipate and become more like the floral notes of jasmine. 

Yoongi instinctively purrs at the happy scent of you as it surrounds him, mixing with Jungkook’s snickerdoodle and hints of the pack from the nest. Jungkook’s cotton tail wiggles at the change in your scent—the feeling of finally having you in his arms where you belong adds to his elation. 

Seokjin, on the other hand, breathes a sigh of relief that you subconsciously or instinctively decided to accept their bolder moves. Not only is your personal scent showing your acceptance of their contact comfort, but the mate scent remains consistent and syrupy. Show each of them that your bond with the bunny and the jaguar has, in fact, grown. 

However, experiencing intimate contact with Jungkook can be slightly intimidating, especially with the entire pack home and two in the same room. It is unexpectedly reassuring once you take a moment to stop to remember the discussion from the pack meeting and then start feeling. The warmth of Jungkook’s body melding with your back is more pleasant than expected. The presence of a hybrid-sized heated weighted blanket, which Yoongi has become soothing, allows your mind to divert from the racing thoughts. 

Relaxing into their hold, you adjust to lean more against Jungkook, who happily accepts by pulling you closer at the waist. Your arm drapes over Yoongi and rests below his neck, between his shoulder blades. With a small break in his purring, Yoongi scoots closer since you moved away from him, causing your hand to slide up his neck and into the base of his hair. His furry ears twitch and almost flutter at the feeling as his purring increases. 

Taking that as a good sign, you slowly scratch at his scalp almost absentmindedly as you breathe in the spring rain of Yoongi’s petrichor and Jungkook’s sweet but spiced snickerdoodle. Your mind slowly becomes a buzz of peace and calmness you haven’t experienced in a long time. It’s not long till your soft snores are heard over Yoongi’s purring.

Seokjin finds his way around, where he knows his bonded mates can see him and catch their attention. Much to Seokjin’s prediction, he has the attention of a golden-yellow-eyed Alpha and a smokey grey-eyed Alpha. His tender and proud smile blooms at the younger Alpha’s comforting, caring, and protecting their ladymate. 

“Alpha Yoon, Alpha Kook,” Seokjin greets. “I will step out and let the pack know our Ladymate is being cared for and not to worry or bother the three of you. I will be in and out to check on you guys.”

Alpha Kook nods and pulls you closer to himself, wanting you to stay comfortable and warm. Alpha Yoon, however, looks at Seokjin like he wants to say something as his eyes narrow at the older bonded mate. 

“Yes, Alpha Yoon?” asks Seokjin, attempting to prompt him into speaking his mind. 

With a broken purr, Alpha Yoon demands, “Bring Tae. Must serve mate. Keep warm. Stay close.”

Seokjin’s eyes light with understanding. “That’s right, Alpha Yoon. Taehyung is in service to Y/n right now,” affirms Seokjin. “I will send him in next, but I will ensure he knows you two are in charge of this right now.”

After Alpha Yoon thinks about what Seokjin said, he nods and snuggles closer, prompting Seokjin to stand quietly and leave the nest in search of the pack—specifically, a tiger to send in and a wolf to have a serious discussion with. 

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[nyxwanderland]

♡ drunken love

character → gojo satoru story → fluff, alcohol consumption, gojo is averse to alcohol word count → 0.7k

"...well, what do we have here?"

you and shoko had agreed to get a drink after getting off work to wait for your boyfriend to return from his mission to pick you up. things, however, did not go as expected when you suddenly announced a drinking contest to see who has better tolerance to alcohol.

you are able to tolerate great amounts of alcohol quite well. it is hard for you to get drunk easily.

but not as much as shoko, because you just miserably failed. completely wasted, your head slumped on the bar counter and a unfinished glass of some alcoholic drink.

now that he thinks about it, it is gojo's first time seeing you drunk. and boy was he enjoying every second of it. your drunken state is a sight to behold, and he can't hide his amusement.

gojo amusingly watches your inebriated state. he leans his head over your figure in order to meet your eyes, however, to his dismay, they are squeezed shut. he doesn't miss how rosy your cheeks look — he wants to squish them. "never thought i'd see the day when you would get drunk~"

he looks at the doctor as she gulps down a tall glass of beer in one go and he grimaces at the sight. it's not a secret that he doesn't enjoy alcohol — he always opts for drinks without it which contain enough sugar for anyone to get high.

"she started it," shoko speaks up before the man says anything. she jumps from the bar stool and pays for both hers and your drinks, grabbing a cigarette from her pocket. "i'm leaving."

now gojo is left with your extremely drunken mess. nevertheless, he smiles and gently places a hand on your back and nudges you a bit, in an attempt to wake you up.

"baby," he speaks tenderly. "come on, let's go home."

you flutter your eyes open at the movement, your vision blurry as you tried to adjust your senses. "mm— wha...?"

gojo resists the urge to squeal due to your adorable actions and chooses to flash one of his bright smiles. "it's me, sweet cheeks."

you scrunch your nose at the nickname, still unable to comprehend your surroundings. "only my boyfriend is allowed... to call me sweet cheeks..." your words come out slurred, the alcohol so deep in your system.

you try to focus on the blurry man in front you as you try to sit up, and push him away from your face who was too close to your liking. "go away... creep."

gojo cackles. he was enjoying this way too much. "it's me, your glorious blue-eyed, six foot three king! it's hurts that you forgot me."

your mouth opens to retort but you started feeling dizzy and sick. your body sways a little, unable to keep balance, and your hand rushes to your head to stabilize yourself. gojo notices the change in your demeanor immediately and takes no time in scooping you up in his arms.

"let's get you home." he walks out of the bar before you can even protest about him carrying you in the first place.

the cool autumn breeze hits your figure and you unconsciously snuggle to gojo's body for some heat, despite grumbling something about kicking his ass.

this time, your vision starts to clear out and now you are finally able to realize that the so-called mysterious, creepy man was your boyfriend himself. your eyes light up and so does your smile immediately.

"oh my god," you giggle and wiggle your legs. your face turns redder than they were before. "you're my 'toruuu~!"

gojo's heart swells at the way you're looking at him with such adoration. he leans in to kiss your lips.

only for you to turn your face away so he ends up pecking your cheek instead.

"hey..." he pouts, offended by your rejection. "what's wrong, sweets?"

you face him once again with furrowed eyebrows and a frown. "you can't kiss me... you don't like alcohol."

gojo sighs before smiling at you. "i don't mind if i'm tasting it from your lips. now c'mere, gimme three more kisses for turning me down like that."

i miss this man so much you don't understand

[watchmegetobsessed]

MISTAKEN HATRED

A/N: okay im veeery nervous about this one bc its the longest story i've written in probably months and it took me sooo long to finish it so im just praying its not utter shit 🙃 anywaysss, happy holidays guys! it's not overly festive, but it has some vibes so im labeling it as my xmas fic haha feedback is always appreciated! 🎄

WORD COUNT: 6.3k

SUMMARY: Things don't go as smooth as you planned with your bakery's opening, but you're doing your best to overcome the struggles. However there is one person who is hating on your business as if it was his job: Harry Styles. You just wish you knew what you did to earn his hatred...

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

This is not how you imagined the last weeks before your official opening. 

You imagined the interrior to be fully done by now so you can focus on the last touches, ordering the right ingredients and promoting the opening.

Instead, you’re staring at what’s supposed to be your eight tables, intact and put together but it’s all in pieces. You specifically remember the website said they would deliver them done and you wouldn’t have to play puzzles. But they arrived six days late and very much not the way they promised. 

Taking a deep breath you stare up at the ceiling and decide to take the trash out before turning your bakery into Ikea.

“It’s alright. I can do this. I can do anything,” you keep telling yourself as you drag out the trash bags that are almost the size of you. 

You knew opening your own business would be tough. Especially in Eroda, the little town you have some of your earliest memories from, where your grandma used to live, the place that was closest to her heart and it breaks yours to know she couldn’t spend her last years here because she was too sick to live on her own. 

She never asked you to come back here, but the moment you found her recipe books the summer after she passed, you just knew what you had to do. Now it’s been three years and you’re finally opening Nana’s that will bring her warmth and love back to Eroda, or you hope so. 

Pushing the door open with your shoulder, you keep dragging the bags to the containers behind the small shop and you’re so deep in your thoughts you don’t even notice the two people just a couple of feet away.

“Hi, Love!”

You recognize Anne’s sweet, chirpy voice and a smile spreads across your face even before you look up, but the moment you see the person standing next to her, all joy just drains from your body. 

Harry Styles is standing as grouchy and arrogant as always next to his mother, hands hidden in the pockets of his fleece jacket, his unruly curls are tucked underneath his beanie and any normal woman would be into the man, but you. Not after he very clearly let you know you don’t belong here and you should take your business back to the city where you came from. 

You expected some resistance, not much has changed in town in the past decades and you had a feeling some might want to keep it that way, but you guessed older people would riot against your bakery, not a thirty years old grown man. 

“Hi Anne,” you smile back and mustering up all your strength you throw one of the bags into the bin, but you overestimated your muscle work, because it only falls to the edge and almost topples right out. Luckily, you grab it just in time and push it in.

“Oh, dear, those bags are bigger than you! Harry, help her!” 

“No, it’s alri–” 

Before you get to protest, Harry strides over to you and grabs the remaining two bags as if they weighed nothing and throws them into the bin without breaking a sweat. 

Of course he is fit, the man probably runs up the hill carrying twice his weight every morning, because that’s how you can imagine him working out. 

Though you shouldn’t be imagining anything about him.

“Thanks,” you purse your lips and square your shoulders as you face the two of them.

“How is everything coming together?”

Anne has been so enthusiastic about your bakery, she comes around probably every other day, checks in on your progress and always offers her help. 

“Um, it is… okay, I guess,” you let out a tired chuckle. Glancing over at Harry you see him looking to the side, as if he wasn’t even listening, but something is telling you he is very much focused on the conversation.

Yeah, that’s right, I’m still here! Not even your arrogance can chase me away!

Anne cranes her neck, peeking into the shop and she spots the pile in the middle.

“Oh, are you planning to put those together by yourself? Harry, why don’t you help her?”

The moment she suggests, you both protest.

“No, there’s no need.”

“Mum, I don’t really have the time,” he says at the same time, but it doesn’t seem to go through. Anne’s phone starts ringing and she excuses herself, leaving the two of you there. 

Great, this is all you were missing today, an awkward, forced situation with the man who wants to see you gone. Perfect.

“Should’ve ordered them done, don’t you think?” he speaks up, nodding towards the shop.

At first, you just blink at him, then close your eyes and when you open them, you have the fakest smile on your twitching face.

“What a wonderful idea! I totally did not think of that!”

“Then send them back and ask them to bring what you ordered.” He rolls his eyes and it’s irking you so much. You definitely don’t need his stupid advices, not when you’re terribly behind your schedule.

“They arrived almost a week later than they should have, if I send them back there’s now ay they will send me the new ones in time for the opening.”

Harry stands there, staring at the pile of furniture pieces inside and for a moment you think he might actually offer his help, which you’re not sure you’d have accepted, but it remains a mystery, because that’s not what he says when he speaks up.

“I’m busy for real. Mum likes to offer my help around without asking me.”

It takes you a couple of moments to figure out what you feel about what he just said. And when you finally do, you see red.

“As I said, I don’t need help. I did everything by myself and I will get this done as well. I don’t need your unwanted, half-assed effort to pretend like you’re helping me.”

You come off rougher than you probably should have, but he’s been bugging you ever since you moved to Eroda. The man knows nothing about you or your business, yet every time he comes near your shop he acts like it physically pains him to even look at it. He’d be the last person you’d ask for help, he doesn’t have to act like he has so much to do and doesn’t have the time to help when he doesn’t actually want to help. 

Harry stares at you with such intensity you almost break and stutter a sorry out, but that’s when Anne returns.

“Ah, we have to run. But I will come by tomorrow, Darling. And Harry can hel–”

“No need for help,” you smile at her as gratefully as you can force yourself to be in this moment. 

“Alright, then see you later,” she waves and you nod at her before your eyes meet Harry’s one last time before they walk away and you return to your shop. 

It takes you six hours to assemble the tables later that day, but you do it.

With no help. 

Moving to Eroda, it hasn’t been your only goal to have your business become part of the town but you also knew you’d have to become one of the locals as well. Only a handful of people know who your grandmother was and you don’t plan to reveal it until the opening. You want them to taste all the baked goods and think of her first and then put the picture together. But this means you’re a total newbie for most people around. Last time you spent more than just a day here was when you were sixteen and you’ve changed a lot since then, so it’s natural people don’t recognize you. 

Anne has been your biggest help in breaking the ice and involving you in as many things as possible so you get to meet the people of Eroda. The weeks leading up to Christmas are usually filled with all kinds of winter activities locals enjoy wholeheartedly. Concert by the town hall, decorating the trees at the main square, collecting donations and cooking for those in need for example. You’ve been to all of these and very much enjoyed being part of the community. This weekend however, you can’t say you’re looking forward to the new festive activity.

Ice-skating on the frozen lake.

It sounds nice and fun, but you’ve ice-skated only once in your life and ended up breaking your wrist. Not your favorite childhood memory for sure and you don’t exactly want to relive it as an adult. 

You arrive with the intention of just sipping some hot tea and watch everyone else skate around until your fingers are falling off and you can go back to the shop to finish putting up the tinker lights at the back. 

Anne however had different ideas about today. Because as soon as you arrive at the lake, she is waving at you, holding up a pair of skates and you know they are not hers, because she’s already wearing those. 

“Kick those boots off, Love, I brought you my old skates! Come join us!” She smiles brightly at you from next to the pier where people get on and off the ice. 

“Oh, no, I don’t skate, Anne, but thank you!”

“Don’t be silly, even Bernie is on the ice!” She nods towards the old man who must be at least eighty, sliding on the ice as if he did this all his life. He might have, you have no idea.

“It’s really not for me, I–”

“Just try it! Come on!” 

She drops the skates by your feet and then slides away, leaving you no chance to protest.

Staring down at the skates, you can feel your stomach churning, but as you look up you see that literally everyone is on the ice, you’d look weird standing on the pier on your own. 

“Fuck,” you mumble under your breath as you give in and sitting down you start peeling your boots off your feet. 

“You’ll break your ankle if you leave it that loose.”

You know the voice and it just adds to your stress even more. You see his black skates in front of you as you’re trying to lace your own up.

“Hi Harry, so good to see you again,” you hiss through your teeth. 

“Tighten it or you’ll fall.”

“I’ll fall either way,” you mumble as you go back and pull the laces tighter. When you’re done you straighten up, but remain sitting on the end of the pier, anxiously string down at your feet. Harry doesn’t speak, but you know he is still there, probably watching you, trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, why you’re not just standing up and going at it like everyone else. 

Your hands are holding onto the wood underneath you for dear life as you picture yourself finally moving, but you never get to actually acting. 

“Do you need help standing up?” Harry speaks up at last and his voice is different this time. It’s not as arrogant, maybe even concerned. Do you look that awful right now?

“N-No.” Your voice cracks and you hate that it’s him who sees you like this. 

“Doesn’t seem like–”

“Would you stop being an asshole for a moment?” you snap at him and finally look up, eyes meeting his examining gaze. You have no idea what he sees in yours, but a few seconds later he breaks eye-contact, looks around as if he is hesitating before he sits beside you at last.

“You don’t have to skate if you don’t want to.”

“Tell that to your mother,” you mumble under your breath and it makes him laugh.

The sound of it is actually nice, surprising, but nice to hear something other than insults coming from his mouth.

“She can be a bit too much, but she’s just too enthusiastic.” You sit in silence for a bit before Harry turns to you. “You really don’t have to skate.”

“I want to take part, I just… I broke my wrist on the ice once when I was a kid and I haven’t tried skating since then.”

You didn’t plan on telling him much, but you felt like you had to explain why you’re being so dramatic. Part of you is expecting him to make fun of you for being scared of skating because of something that happened ages ago, but the arrogant comments never come.

Instead he stands up and when you look up at him he is holding a hand out to you.

“I’ll help you. You won’t fall.”

Any other day you’d think he is plotting against you, that he would get you to trust him and the trip you the first chance he got, but not this time. He looks and sounds genuine and as you take his hand, you put way too much trust into them than you would have ever allowed yourself to. 

You hold onto him with both hands and he keeps you steady as you finally attempt to push yourself up from the edge of the pier. Your knees wobble the moment your weight is on the blades and you instantly feel yourself losing balance, but Harry’s hands wrap around your arms and keep you from falling.

“It’s okay. Relax a bit, you’ll find your balance.” He encourages you and it’s almost strange to hear him so supportive of anything you’re doing, but not breaking your neck keeps you too busy to care about his random act of kindness. 

“Try to move forward.”

“I can’t,” you protest without even trying.

“You can, just relax.”

“Don’t tell me to relax, it’s not gonna help me relax!”

“Y/N, you’re gonna have a panic attack if you don’t relax,” he warns you and you realize how fast you’re breathing and all your blood is being pumped into your head. 

“I-I can’t, I can’t do this, I–”

“Y/N, look at me!” His hands snap to your shoulders and you grab onto his biceps as you look him in the eyes while your chest is still heaving. “I’ve got you, okay? You’re not going to fall. I’m holding you, I promise.”

Focusing on his words you finally forget about your fears and instead, you’re now trying to figure out where this version of Harry came from and why he hid from you all along. 

You’re not one to trust people that easily, but just from this one promise he made, you let go of all your doubts and hesitation. 

“Okay,” you breathe out. Harry nods and his hands slowly slide lower until they rest on your waist. 

“You knew how to skate, right? Before you broke your wrist.” You nod. “Alright, then it will all come back quickly.”

There’s a tiny smile hiding in the corners of his lips and your heart pitter-patters in your chest, but not because of the skating this time. His hands on you are not helping either, because for some reason, you feel heat radiating through the millions of layers you’re wearing where his hands are touching you. 

What is happening?

“Okay, I’ll hold your hand and you just focus on moving forward, yeah?”

You nod and panic rises in your gut for a moment when his hands leave your shoulders, but then they instantly take your hands and you feel safe again. 

Slowly you start moving, inching forward, your hands gripping Harry’s so tight, you’re afraid you might hurt him, but you’d never let go of him, not when you’re getting farther away from the pier. 

“That’s it, you are doing great,” he encourages. “Try to move a bit less rigidly.”

“Easy to say that,” you breathe out shakily. 

It takes time to loosen up even the tiniest bit and not grip Harry’s hand as if you wanted to crush his bones. But as you slowly move around the ice, led by him, you finally get more and more familiar with the feeling of sliding on the ice. 

“See? It’s not that bad,” he smiles when you stop for a short break after circling back to the pier. 

“I still fear for my life, but it’s bearable now,” you nod and he just chuckles.

It looks good on him. His smile is warm and welcoming, it’s a shame it took you so long to see it. You definitely prefer this version of him. 

“Honey, it’s so lovely to see you on the ice!” Anne slides over to you with ease, holding a cup of something warm, probably hot chocolate. 

“Well, it’s not quite my element,” you let out an awkward chuckle.

“You’re doing just fine. Besides, you just snatched up the best skater in town.” Winking, she bumps her hip against Harry’s. Your puzzled look urges her to elaborate. “Harry took over coaching the boys’ hockey team last year, the kids adore him!”

Instantly, you imagine Harry dealing with a bunch of cute kids, cheering on them, teaching them, making them laugh… The image is actually moving something inside you that’s been buried somewhere deep for a while now.

“Y/N, how are things coming together? Everyone is buzzing for the big opening!” Anne does a little dance that makes you laugh, but at the same time, something changes in Harry. 

“Um, it’s going okay. Not how I planned, but I’ll manage.”

“I’m sure everything will fall into place perfectly. And if you need any help just let us know!” She turns to Harry, looking for validation that he is open to lending you a helping hand as well, but his reaction is not quite what she was expecting, probably. 

“Sorry, I gotta go now,” Harry mumbles quickly, his gaze obviously avoiding you or his mother and he skates away so fast you just blink after him. 

“What’s gotten into this boy?” Anne huffs, but she lets go of it fast, starts chatting about something you don’t quite catch, because you just stare after Harry, watching him slalom between the skaters so fast it’s almost aggressive. 

And once again, you feel like you’re back where you began. He hates you and you have no idea what you did against him. 

Theoretically, opening Nana’s two weeks before Christmas was a great idea, because you imagined all the baked goods people would order for the holidays, you knew it would be a great kick start.

Realistically, it means that now you have to do the last touch ups in the harsh winter that’s as cold as the North Pole. Or at least that’s how you imagine the North Pole.

It’s been non stop snowing for the past three days, the fresh, soft looking snow is now covering every bit of Eroda’s breathtaking view and though it’s very festive and nice to look at it from a warm room with something hot to drink, it’s not as relaxing when you’re still working on the bakery, doing the last bits of decorating and starting the first batches of baked goods, because in 24 hours, Nana’s is officially opening its front door to the public. 

You’ve been here since five in the morning, now it’s four in the afternoon but it’s almost entirely pitch dark outside so it feels like it’s nearing ten. The place is not a mess anymore, but the kitchen is, there’s all kinds of dough everywhere, you’re doing everything you can now so there’s less tomorrow, but even with all the work tonight you’ll be here at five in the morning again tomorrow. 

It’s been hours since the last time you looked out the window, so it fully goes over your head how heavy the snowfall has gotten lately, chasing home every soul from the streets. While you’re covered in flour and keep muttering Nana’s recipes to make sure everything is measured right, there is one more person out there who is still not home, battling the weather. 

Harry has been going around town all day, helping out the elderly with either delivering groceries, or repairing the heating, whatever they needed a helping hand with. He’s usually the person one calls in Eroda when something needs to be fixed.

The roads are now not quite safe to be driving around, but with his jeep he’ll be able to get home just before it gets too bad. Or so the thought, but that is until he drives by the bakery and sees the lights on.

At first he keeps driving, telling himself it’s not his business. But the farther he gets the guiltier he feels and then he turns the car around.

You’re too busy to hear the knocking at first, but then you hear it again and know it wasn’t just in your head. Rushing out of the kitchen you stop in front of the door, because through the glass you make out Harry standing there, the snow already covering the top of his head as if he’s been out there for hours. 

“It’s freezing out here, Y/N! Would be nice if you let me in!” he shouts through the glass and you finally snap out of your surprise, unlock the door and Harry practically runs inside. 

“What are you doing here?” You watch him shake the snow off of him and finally turn towards you. For a moment you forget about how you parted ways at the skating, how cold he turned out of the blue after helping you. 

“Funny, I wanted to ask you the same thing. There’s a snowstorm out there, you won’t be able to get home if you stay here!”

“Are you kidding me? I’m opening tomorrow, I have a million things to finish!”

“So you’re risking getting snowed in? Were you planning to sleep here or something?”

“Maybe! Yeah! I need to get a ton of dough ready and I still haven’t put up the tinker lights and I need to clean up…”

Harry stares at you with such a vivid look, you expect him to start screaming at you or something. But he just keeps staring until he finally breaks.

“Okay, where are the lights and where do you want them?”

“What?”

“You’ll spend the night here if you do everything alone. I’ll help and hopefully we’ll be able to leave when it’s all done.”

Now it’s your turn to stare at him as he is looking around, searching for the lights to start working, but you can’t really believe he is about to help you out when he could be home by now. On the other hand, you could really use the help and maybe finish earlier than midnight, so after pushing your surprise to the side you start instructing him. While Harry works on the lights, you return to the kitchen. 

To test out the dough for the croissants, the one thing you’re the most nervous about because it used to be Nana’s specialty, you decide to make a few and pop them in the oven while you do everything else. 

It’s hard to believe you’re finally at this point, so close to the opening, turning your biggest dream into reality. You wish Nana would be here with you today.

“Lights are done.”

Harry interrupts your thoughts and you wipe your floury hands into your apron before following him out of the kitchen to see the work he did.

“Oh my God, this looks perfect!” you gasp, seeing all the tinker lights run along the ceiling and walls, lighting up the place like magic. 

Harry just nods, pressing his lips together, as if it was nothing. 

“Anything else?” he asks.

“Yeah, I have a few pictures I want to hang up and then it’s all done–” The timer in the kitchen goes off, letting you know the croissants are done. “Let me take them out and then I’ll show you where I want them.”

You rush back to the kitchen and take the fresh, steaming croissants out of the oven, completely missing that Harry has followed you and he is now watching you curiously as you take the baked goods off the tray one by one.

“That smells like…” he speaks up, but the words die on his tongue and you just smile, placing one onto a plate, holding it out for him.

“Here, try it.”

He hesitates, but takes the plate at last. Though it’s still hot and he should definitely wait a bit, it’s hard to resist, you know that. You watch him take a tentative bite and wait for his reaction as if he is about to tell you your future. 

“So? How is it?”

“It’s… it’s really… good. Really good.”

It’s obvious he is having a hard time admitting you did something right, but his face says it all. You just don’t understand why he looks kind of puzzled, but you think it’s just because he didn’t expect it to be this good. 

“I bet the croissants will be the bestsellers,” you chuckle as Harry takes bite after bite until it’s all gone. He devoured it so fast it’s incredible. You couldn’t help but focus on his pink lips while he ate and those tiny sounds he let slip… they surely planted some thoughts into your head, thoughts you shouldn’t be thinking of when it comes to Harry.

“Come on, I’ll show you the pictures.” It’s your attempt to clear your mind.

You walk out and grab the box that holds all the framed pictures you want to hang on the walls, of course, all of them feature Nana. 

“Okay, so I thought a few could go over here, and then on that wall as well, and these, I want them behind the counter…” You start explaining your vision, but when you turn around you see that he is staring at a photo in shock. “Harry? What’s wrong?”

You step closer and see that it’s the photo that was taken on your tenth birthday. You’re holding up one of the cupcakes Nana made just for you and she is standing behind you, with her hands on your shoulders. It’s a fond memory, one of your favorite birthdays you ever had. 

“Oh, is it the dungarees?” you ask, pointing at your outfit. “I wasn’t quite the fashion icon back then,” you chuckle.

“No, it’s– who’s this?” he asks, pointing at Nana. You give him a puzzled look, because it’s not rocket science to figure out who the woman in the picture is.

“That’s Nana, obviously.”

“But as in… your grandma?” He finally looks up at you and his face is frantic, as if he is solving a lifelong mystery. 

“Of course, Harry, what is goin–”

“Y/N, Nana was your grandma?”

“Yes!” you laugh in confusion. “Of course she was, that’s why I’m opening a bakery under her name with all her recipes she taught me!”

You can’t read the look on Harry’s face as he puts the photo back into the box and then starts walking around with his hands on his hips. 

“Why do you look like you just learned you were adopted or something?”

“Y/N, I didn’t… I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what?”

“That you’re… Nana’s granddaughter. I had no clue.” He runs a hand through his hair and you try your best not to stare at how his bicep flexes in the movement. 

“What? Harry, why else would I be opening a bakery, named Nana’s right here, out of every possible place on Earth?”

“I don’t know!” he admits, throwing his hands into the air. “That’s why I… Okay, this is why I hated the idea so much. Because I knew Nana, I loved her! She was like… my grandma too! And I thought you just chose this name for fun!”

“Are you kidding me?” you huff in disbelief.

“I felt like you were ruining her memory, that’s why I was so against this place. I had zero clue that you are actually… related to her.”

“Oh my God, Harry!” There’s nothing else you can do other than just… laughing. This whole situation feels oddly comical, like something that only happens in movies. 

“I know, I’m sorry!” He exhales sharply and you truly see the regret on his face. “I was such a dick.”

“Yes you were!” you laugh in agreement. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

“Well, now at least I know why you were my biggest hater all along.”

“Not anymore!” He holds up his hands and finally breaks a smile that looks so fucking handsome, it makes you forget about everything in a second. 

Turning to the side he stares out the window for a moment before looking back at you.

“The snowing has stopped, let’s wrap things up and go home, alright? Big day tomorrow.”

You both go back to work, Harry finishes quite fast with the pictures so then he helps you clean up in the kitchen and you notice how obviously different the vibes are now. There’s no trace of his usual hostile behavior, in fact he is so open as he asks you about Nana and how the idea of the bakery came. Then he tells you about her as well, how he has known him for so long and after the passing of his stepdad Nana helped him through the toughest time of his life. You’re surprised the two of you never met when you were visiting, but you believe in faith and it must be because it wasn’t the right time. 

It’s almost ten by the time you’re locking up while Harry is scraping the snow off his jeep. It’s rather eerie to see the town so empty, but it’s also pretty, the untouched snow covering every inch of the scenery. 

“Thanks for the help. And the drive home,” you say when he has parked in front of your house. 

“I’ll pick you up in the morning as well.”

“What? There’s no need, Harry–”

“Just accept the help,” he flashes you a crooked smile. “I have a lot to make up for.”

“What if I say you’re forgiven?”

“Then I’ll do it because I want to spend time with you.”

His answer comes so fast and honest, you can’t mask the surprise on your face as you stare at each other in the dark car.

“Um, alright then. See you in the morning.”

“Good night. Y/N.”

You fumble with the belt and then climb out of the car, still feeling kind of giddy from his words. He waits for you to get to the front door and you wave at him before walking in. Through the closed door you hear the engine roar and he drives away, leaving you with quite a lot to digest.

Never in a million years did you imagine the opening of Nana’s to be like this. The small bakery is full to the brim, there are people everywhere, you haven’t stopped thanking everyone for the love and support and your heart leaps in your chest every time you hear someone talk about your beloved grandma. All the pastries are selling well, but as expected, the croissants are the biggest hit. 

But it’s not just the opening that has you smiling ear to ear.

Harry did show up early in the morning and he’s been helping you out all day as if he was getting paid for his work. In the kitchen, at the counter or by the tables, he’s been a one person army and your hero. You couldn’t have done it without him. 

You have just a couple of seconds to breathe between two customers and you peek over the crowd, spotting him right away by the table his mom and her friends occupy. He just made them laugh and he’s basking in their attention as he rolls the sleeves of his shirt up, revealing his tattooed arms. 

Fuck, he looks so good, it’s criminal. 

Now that he is not an asshole to you anymore, it’s pretty hard not to notice everything you’ve been trying to ignore about him. His charming dimples, his bouncy curls, the way he throws his head back when he laughs, how his nose moves when he talks, they was his hips sway when he’s walking… there is not one inch on the man you can critique.

The situation would be a lot worse if it was one-sided, but it appears that Harry is just as keen on being around you, always touching your lower back when he walks behind you, or brushing your arm to get your attention. 

“I’m seriously writing you a paycheck when it’s over,” you tell him when he returns behind the counter grabbing some cinnamon rolls to bring to the ladies by the window.

“I thought that we were already over this, Y/N,” he smirks and you bite into your bottom lip as you turn back to the customer in front of you. 

It kind of goes by in a blur, there’s so much happening, you’re always on the move and before you could even process the events, the day is over and Nana’s is closing for the first time. After the constant crowd, it’s weird to see the place empty again, but seeing that everything has sold, it finally settles in your mind: you did it.

As you turn the sign on the door your eyes slide over to the picture on the right. It was taken in Nana’s kitchen, you were about six or seven, the two of you are photographed from behind as you stand on a stool, next to Nana at the counter while she is teaching you how to make bread. The memory still lives vividly in your mind even though it’s been over two decades.

“She would be so proud of you.”

Turning around you find Harry behind you with a soft smile on his lips, his eyes on the photo at first, then they move to you and your heart skips a beat.

“You think so?”

“I know so,” he chuckles.

“So, I was serious. I owe you a paycheck after today.”

He rolls his eyes before arching an eyebrow at you.

“And I was serious when I said I don’t want anything in return.”

“You’ve been here since six, Harry!” you huff out a laugh. “I would feel so bad if you just went home without anything.”

He stares at you for long moments and you start to think he’ll just let you suffer with your guilt, but then he speaks up.

“Go on a date with me then.”

You suck on your breath as your eyes lock with his.

“What?” you whisper.

“Go on a date with me, Y/N. Will you?”

“I-If you’re still trying to make up for–” you start, but he cuts you off.

“I’m not. I told you, I want to spend time with you.”

You blink at him once, twice, as if you’re waiting for him to say it was just a joke, but he stands his ground with a serious look.

“Are you gonna leave me hanging?” he smirks, snapping you out of your haze.

“Yes–I mean, yes to the date!” you shake your head, clearing up your answer.

“I was afraid you hated me too much to give me a chance,” he breathes out a shaky laugh.

“I never hated you, I was just confused. You were the one who hated me.”

“I couldn’t hate you, Y/N. And believe me, I tried.” You both laugh at his words. “I was frustrated, because I wanted to hate you and this place so badly, but still… I was drawn to you.”

“You were?” you ask, your voice barely more than just a whisper.

“You have no idea how much,” he admits with a soft smile, stepping closer to you. “When we were skating, I totally forgot about everything and just wanted to hold your hand and help you. It was like a slap across my face when mum brought the opening up and I remembered I was supposed to hate you,” he admits with a chuckle and e inches even closer. “I’m glad I don’t have to try to hate you anymore.”

“I’m glad too.”

He is right in front of you, his face only inches away from yours and you suck on your breath when he reaches up and takes your chin between his index finger and thumb, angling your head further up so your lips are now perfectly lined up with his.

His eyes move down to your mouth, then up to meet your gaze and even without words you know he is asking for your permission to kiss you. You push closer and he is quick to close the distance and press his lips against yours.

You’d be lying if you said you never imagined what it would be like to kiss Harry. Because you did, several times. But nothing compares to having him wrapped around you, his lips so soft yet rough against yours at the same time as he kisses you over and over again while you’re fisting the collar of his shirt so tight your fingers are turning white. 

Maybe you kiss for hours, or maybe it’s just minutes, you have no clue, but when he finally pulls back, resting his forehead against yours, you just know your life is about to turn upside down.

“Changed my mind,” he speaks up at last.

“Huh?”

“About the payment.”

His words sink in slowly and your eyebrows rise.

“Oh.” Harry laughs at your reaction.

“I want my payment in kisses,” he then says with the cheesiest smile you’ve ever seen on his handsome face.

“That could be arranged,” you breathe out when you finally get what he was talking about and grabbing the back of his neck you pull him in for another one. 

And another one.

And some more.

And just like that Nana somehow brought another wonderful thing into your life, even though she is not here anymore.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[zettaireido-emotion]

Camus character analysis: games VS anime

If you finished the Uta no Prince-sama anime and your opinion of this man is "wow, he's kinda terrible," I don't blame you. in fact I've seen a lot of people say this

In this post, I want to talk about his characterization in the games and give my two cents on what the anime was trying to do with him, especially in his single focus episode Saintly Territory (S3E6).

Disclaimer: I wrote this on a whim because I'm sick and stuck at home so if anyone reads this, sorry I might go all over the place

Spoilers for all of the games!

The "be my slave" thing

Starting with Anime Camus's most egregious crime: treating Haruka like a servant/slave (however you want to translate it)

Basically in his focus episode, Haruka is tasked with writing a song for Camus. She wants to learn more about him in order to write it, but Camus will only let her follow him if she acts as his servant. She accepts without complaining, Cecil is rightfully angry, Haruka continues anyway and the song gets completed.

Now, am I about to say that Game Camus would never do this? No because he literally does lmao.

The anime doesn't pull this "servant" plotline out of nowhere, here's the context in his route:

Haruka accidentally overhears Camus talking about a plot to assassinate Saotome on the phone. When he notices that she heard everything, he basically tells her that he has to kill her now. But if she served him, he'd be able to keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn't leak anything, so she could escape death.

Okay uh "work under me or DIE" isn't exactly better, nor is it a good start to a love story, but I'm not finished!!

(A side note: I have to add that the anime made him look like an even bigger asshole and borderline dumb when it came to the things he made her do. Like he expected her to know that snapping your fingers means you want coffee without prior explanation. bro

^This might have been for comedic effect but I promise he can be actually funny and endearing.)

What the anime couldn't cover

The Camus episode wraps up with Haruka pulling through and writing a song that makes Camus "sincere," he says it's cool at the very end and that's the episode. I think the problem is that we technically didn't see him being sincere or what that even means to him, besides when he was singing (banger song btw)

It's a shame because in a 20-minute episode you really can't show the game experience of slowly piecing together what this man's problem is.

First of all, in Debut and AS you'll be quick to notice that he always has homeland and duty on the mind, constantly reminding himself that he's in Shining Agency/Japan for a reason, and it's NOT to have fun or make friends

The truth is, he slowly starts to appreciate the banter with his colleagues, music, and working there in general.

But because of his initial mindset, he has to rationalize & justify every connection he forms, like "it's just for work" or worse: "actually it was ALL A LIE and I NEVER ENJOYED A SECOND OF THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER, I'm such a great actor haha"

He uses that to fool himself and to push the other person away so it doesn't happen again. This scene is probably the best example:

(I'll be using google lens because it's faster but I checked that the tls were okay)

He also does this in the Non-Fiction drama, which may or may not have actually happened, but I think it's still a pretty good reflection of what could happen in reality because he tells Ranmaru their bond was a lie, then mopes around in his guilt thinking about the good times and wondering why he's sad, and THEN later doubles down on the "it was a lie, I don't care about you" because he just can't let himself get attached to anything.

Basically, he's terrified at the thought of forming actual bonds because he genuinely thinks he's nothing if he stops being a cold weapon:

At one point he does admit he sucks (as a love interest)-

-which is pretty huge by utapri standards. I love these games, but the amount of times where a male lead does something icky, and everyone, including Haruka, acts like it's normal or like it's Haruka's fault is ehhh but I digress

Upbringing

Of course he's very proud of his homeland and status, but sometimes it's to the point of thinking he can't be anything other than his title. So why is he like this?

We got to hear about his childhood from Camus himself a few times, and it often ended with Haruka thinking "wait? that's kinda messed up?" and Camus insisting it's nothing/it's normal so yeah that's something...

His parents were in an unhappy arranged marriage, and his mother was forced to birth an heir which traumatized her so much that she can't see Camus without falling ill. Overall it's a pretty tragic situation since what happened to her was horrible, though not Camus's fault either. Even now she refuses to see him, and I wouldn't say that makes him sad because he never really met her, but simply knowing of her sacrifice probably adds a lot of pressure. As in, he only exists for this one purpose (inheriting his father's title and serving the country), so if he doesn't play his part correctly, it would have all been for nothing.

He was raised by his father not as a child or son but as the heir, always treated and judged as an adult (even during physical training apparently, make of that what you will)

When Haruka asks about childhood memories he has a very hard time finding something that doesn't have to do with his duties or the nation. And then admits he didn't truly have a "childhood" since he was never treated like a child

As for the queen, I think his love for her is sincere: she taught him a lot of things growing up, and according to him, she's also a victim trapped by her duties so he wants to ease the burden.

So hypothetically, if he found things or people that made him happy in Japan, he would feel obligated to lock them away because that happiness is incompatible with his life: he'll have to leave when his mission ends, he shouldn't be spending time on things that aren't "useful" as he doesn't have the free will to pursue them

In his mind he's completely tied down by the fact that he was born and raised for a single reason, and the fact that he does want to serve the queen.

(This is Saotome describing him btw)

Also it might sound ridiculous to bring his self-worth into question because of how pretentious he is, but I've counted a few situations where he seemed to have complete disregard for his own life, only worrying about Haruka and Cecil's safety in scenes when they were present. And he thinks wanting to be loved unconditionally is a childish thought he shouldn't have.

"Double Face" was a lie. There's like at least 10 layers

On the surface he does have two personas, his perfect polite butler act for the media, and his cold bitchy attitude off camera. But honestly, even when he's not acting as a butler, he's often putting up a front to hide any form of vulnerability (from himself as well)

His main struggle is finding who he is outside of what he's being told to do. Before, he never actually stopped to think about what he WANTS because it just never occurs to him, or if it does he ignores it.

That's why realizing that he has his own desires is essential to his character development, and him staying with Quartet Night (and Haruka in his routes) is so important. It's why Reiji feels the need to reach out and when he does, Camus either freezes up or tears up;

This all makes him the opposite of Ranmaru (being true to yourself and sincere), and similar to Ai (gradually learning to view the world in a less cold and logical way), but I kind of want to save that for another post lmao

He is especially hard on Cecil because Cecil says & does whatever he wants, and everything still works out for him, which is a way of life that Camus can't imagine for himself at all (despite maybe wanting it?)

That he can realize this and eventually admit out loud, despite all his pride, is also one of my favorite things about him

Season 2 does hint at something, so that's pretty cool!

Side note, I really love that his theme in the new Oracle series is "Change," the melting of ice.

So what was the anime supposed to do??

Of course there's no way to show all this in a single episode or even during the runtime of the anime, and I never expected them to because the story is very surface-level (that goes for all characters).

It's just unfortunate since the anime is the most accessible and well-known utapri media in the western fandom, and the character's main episode is bound to leave the biggest impression.

I understand the choice of being laser-focused on the servant plotline, it's supposed to be funny (?) and waters him down to a trope that's easy to understand at first glance (the step-on-me guy I guess)

Still, I can't help but compare it to Ranmaru's episode, who was also hard to work with in the games but was chill in S3E7 and got to pet cats. Anime onlys will never know how much Camus loves to dote on his dog smh.....

[lostintransist]

Fallen Angel | Lover and Love

Part 1 | AO3 | *This is a story told in scenes and can be read in any order though is listed in chronological order on the masterlist.

CW: Discussion of suicide and ideation

You had a friend that had three cats. Well, she said she had three cats. You had only ever met two of them, her third little floof lived in the basement bathroom. Phoebe, as she was called, needed a lot of space and appreciated a warm sunbeam that she didn’t have to share. Simon reminded you a lot of Phoebe.

He had taken the room closest to the back, poised best for dusk light to illuminate his space. Hiding away became, or maybe had always been, a strong tendency when he got overwhelmed. The poly-q, by unspoken agreement, would take turns visiting with him in his room when he tried to self-isolate.

Something had happened on their last job. No one would tell you about it but John moved with a slowness that hadn’t been there when he had left. Simon disappeared after a hello kiss and hadn’t been seen since. That was yesterday.

Worrying over your guys had become as intrinsic as breathing. You knew that by Johnny spending the night in your bed, Simon had asked for space. Flicking on the kettle you readied a mug for Simon. Tea steeped with milk and sugar added, you went in search of him.

Simon sat mired in memories. Christmas was coming again, and they had nearly lost John on their last mission. The near miss boiled up in his mind until every other near miss, and person he’d lost ringed him like ghosts with reprimand and disgust on their faces.

Lost to the dregs of death in his mind Simon did not hear you come in.

Simon’s room always smelled of him and faintly of the pillow spray Kyle had bought him a few months back. He stared into the middle distance, somewhere you couldn’t reach or follow. Setting his mug on the nightstand you climb onto the bed. His back is against the headboard with his legs crossed and hands resting in his lap. You match his positioning, resting your knees against his shins.

In an offhanded comment, Simon once mentioned he thought he might develop arthritis in his hands with how badly they could ache sometimes. Thinking over that comment now you lift one of his hands and begin to gently massaging it. The limb is heavy without his will behind it.

Humming to yourself you work up his hand, into his wrist, and over part of his forearm before gently setting it back and repeating the process with his second hand. Flexion from his fingers as you work on his wrist warns you that he has joined you in the room.

“Almost done, can you stay relaxed for me, Simon?” Keeping your focus on his arm you work at the muscles under your fingers.

By way of an answer, he lets a deep breath slip out through his nose and shifts his head to watch you better. Both of you enjoy the quiet presence of the other. When you set his hand down in his lap and look at his face tears rim his eyes.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

His lip quivers the barest hint as he asks, “Lay with me?”

Pushing your hands into the mattress you shift to one side, stretching out as you wait for Simon to get settled. It takes some maneuvering but soon enough you are both laid out comfortably. Simon curls behind you, knees tucked tight to yours and his bicep cushioning your head. You interlace fingers with the hand draped over your waist.

“Do you remember,” he started slowly. “The day you came through the ceiling?”

The snort is involuntary. “Yes. I remember going through the floor and landing on your lap after I gave you a bloody nose.”

Simon laughs through his nose before sobering.

“I was contemplating suicide that day.”

His arms tighten around as if he was expecting you to try and roll over and look at him. You tried to move to look at him anyway.

“Can’t keep telling you if you look at me,” he murmurs, shame lacing his words.

That settles you, a deep shuddering breath and you let the tension melt back into your bones.

“Contemplating or planning?” You question him carefully.

“Contemplating, but had you not come through the ceiling when you did it might have turned into an executed plan.”

You take a slow, deep breath ensuring that your ribs expand fully before replying.

“Are you feeling that way again?” Probing gently with your words.

He pulls you closer even as his head shakes back and forth.

“No, no, nothing like that. The holidays are getting closer and it brings a lot of bad to the surface. With nearly losing John, the melancholy, it hit a bit harder than normal.”

“We all love you, Simon. You don’t have to banish yourself to the demons and ghosts to deal with your pain. Any, all of us would drop anything to come and fight them back with you,” you say tearfully. Blinking rapidly a few tears land on Simon’s arm beneath your head.

“I know. Sometimes…sometimes I forget how loved I am. I don’t deserve it.” He whispers this as if you don’t know this is how he thinks of himself.

A knock at the door draws both your gazes to it as Johnny appears. The softest of smiles plays at his lips as he looks over you and Simon.

“Got room for a third?”

“Always room for you Johnny,” you wipe your eyes as you sit up and scoot to allow for room.

Simon shifted to his back, you settling on one shoulder and Johnny on the other. Interlacing fingers over Simon’s stomach you challenge Johnny to a thumb war. He wins, again and again, but you laugh each time.

The mug of tea had gone cold by the time you remembered to tell Simon about it. He thanked you for it anyway and pressed a kiss to your forehead, saying all his thanks in that single point of connection.

“Are you feeling better Simon?”

“Yeah, I think all I needed was some time with my lover and my love.”

Masterlist | Fallen Angel Masterlist

@lilynotdilly

[atlasthegreatest]

Breaking the Chains / Natasha Romanoff x Brother!Male Reader

Which, the Avengers embark on a mission to dismantle a sinister facility—a male version of the Red Room, designed to turn young men into weapons. Natasha Romanoff leads the charge, determined to save her younger brother— Y/n, who has been trapped in this program for years.

Word count: 2191

Warnings: PTSD. Red Room.

A/n: This was requested by an anon. I hope you like it!

The facility was crumbling around them, fire and dust mixing into the heavy air. The sounds of gunfire and explosions echoed in the background, but Natasha Romanoff’s focus was singular. Her feet moved with purpose as she scanned the darkened hallway. She knew what to look for—the same signs she once wore on her face and carried in her posture.

In this mission, the Avengers were not after weapons or secrets. They were after people—boys who had been subjected to something eerily familiar to Natasha. A male counterpart to the Red Room, hidden deep in the underbelly of the world. They had lived in the shadows for years, unnoticed, until an intercepted transmission tipped the Avengers off to the existence of this twisted program.

She pushed through the shattered remnants of a metal door and stepped into a cold, dimly lit cell block. A dozen pairs of frightened eyes met hers, boys barely in their teens and men no older than twenty-five.

Natasha scanned each face until she found the one she had been looking for: Y/n.

He sat huddled in the far corner of the cell, knees drawn to his chest, body folded in on itself as if trying to disappear into the cracked concrete wall behind him. His clothes hung loosely from his thin frame, and his hands trembled as they gripped his knees.

“Hey,” Natasha whispered, kneeling in front of him.

At first, Y/n didn’t respond. The years of training had taught him to suppress everything—fear, trust, and hope. But when he finally lifted his gaze, recognition flickered in his eyes. Y/n knew her, though not personally. She had been the ghost story among the instructors. The Black Widow—traitor to the cause, the one who escaped.

“I’ve got you,” Natasha said gently, her gloved hand hovering over Y/n's but not touching, waiting for him to make the first move. “We’re getting you out of here.”

Y/n flinched slightly at the sound of her voice but didn’t pull away when she rested a hand lightly on his arm. Her touch was steady—grounding.

“It’s over,” she said, her voice low and sure, like an unbreakable promise. “No more orders. No more missions.”

Y/n's lips parted, but no words came out. It was hard to believe it was real after everything. Freedom was a foreign concept, a dream too fragile to trust. But Natasha didn’t rush him. She crouched there, keeping her voice steady and calm as the chaos raged behind her.

“I know it’s scary,” she admitted. “But you’re not alone anymore. I’m here, and so are the others.”

When he didn’t resist, Natasha helped him to his feet. Y/n was shaky, each step slow, as if his body had forgotten what it was like to move without orders directing his every action. Natasha kept a careful hold on her arm—not tight, just enough to remind him she was there.

Together, they made their way through the collapsing facility, the flickering lights casting erratic shadows on the walls. Outside, the Avengers had cleared the area, and a Quinjet waited, its ramp lowered. Steve Rogers gave a tight nod to Natasha as she guided Y/n aboard, but the others knew better than to approach.

Natasha’s expression warned them all: Give him space.

————————-

The Avengers’ compound was vast, bright, and open—everything the cold, sterile facility had not been. But for Y/n, it was too much. Too big, too noisy, too unfamiliar.

Y/n rarely left the room they had set up for him, and when he did, it was always with Natasha at his side. The others tried to welcome him gently—Bruce offered books, Steve always nodded with quiet reassurance, and even Tony kept his quips subdued. But it was Natasha who knew how to reach him, because she had been where he was.

She didn’t push. When the others asked too many questions, Natasha would step in, redirecting the conversation with a subtle ease. She became Y/n's anchor, a quiet, constant presence that didn’t demand anything from him.

At night, when the nightmares came—and they always did—Natasha was there. The first time Y/n woke up gasping, covered in cold sweat, he thought she might be angry at being disturbed. But instead, she sat on the edge of his bed, her voice calm and low.

“Breathe,” she whispered. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

When Y/n couldn’t sleep, she stayed up with him. Some nights, she talked about her own past, sharing bits and pieces she thought he might understand. Other nights, the two of them sat in silence, watching the night bleed into dawn.

She never asked him to talk about what happened—not until Y/n was ready.

————————-

It was weeks before Y/n said more than a few words at a time. The trauma ran deep, and trust was a hard-earned currency. But Natasha noticed the small changes. The way he started sitting with the others in the common room, though he always kept a little distance. The way his gaze softened when Sam told a joke or when Clint teased him about beating him at chess.

One afternoon, while sitting with Natasha on the balcony, Y/n surprised himself by speaking.

“They made us fight each other,” He said quietly, his voice brittle and uneven. “If you won, you got food. If you lost… you didn’t.”

Natasha didn’t flinch. She just nodded, her gaze steady. “I know.”

“They told us it made us stronger,” he added, bitterness creeping into his tone. “Made us perfect.”

Natasha’s lips pressed into a thin line. “They were wrong.”

For a moment, Y/n looked out over the horizon, the sky painted in hues of gold and pink. He felt the weight of her words settle in his chest—not just the words, but the way she said them, with the conviction of someone who knew exactly what he’d been through.

“You’re not what they made you,” Natasha said softly. “You’re more than that.”

Y/n swallowed hard, emotions swelling in his throat, but for the first time in years, he didn’t feel the need to shove them down. Natasha’s presence was a reminder that he didn’t have to carry everything alone.

————————-

Day by day, the Avengers helped Y/n find pieces of himself that he thought had been lost forever. Steve taught him how to cook—simple things, like pancakes and scrambled eggs. Sam dragged him into a movie marathon, making Y/n laugh for the first time in what felt like forever.

And Natasha? Natasha stayed by his side through all of it, giving him the space to heal at his own pace.

One evening, after a quiet dinner with the team, Y/n found yourself sitting beside Natasha on the couch, Clint sprawled out on the floor in front of them.

“See?” Natasha said, nudging Y/n's shoulder lightly. “They’re not so bad.”

Y/n gave a small, tentative smile. It felt strange on his face, but not unwelcome.

“Yeah,” he admitted, his voice soft but genuine. “They’re not.”

Natasha smiled too—gentle, patient, and proud. And for the first time in a long time, Y/n felt like maybe, just maybe, he belonged.

————————-

The Avengers became a rhythm—steady, sometimes chaotic, but reliable. Y/n was still learning how to navigate the whirl of personalities and noise, but Natasha was always a steady guide. She seemed to know exactly when to push and when to pull back, letting him stumble without ever letting him fall.

The nightmares didn’t stop, but Y/n got better at managing them. On nights when the darkness crept too close, he didn’t feel ashamed to knock softly on Natasha’s door. Sometimes, the two of them talked. Other times, Y/n sat quietly on the floor beside her bed until sleep returned. It didn’t matter—Natasha was patient, always patient.

But adjusting to life with the Avengers was harder than it looked from the outside. Even though they gave him space, their camaraderie felt foreign. Trusting them—really trusting them—was an uphill battle, but Natasha reassured him that it was okay to take his time.

“You don’t have to be anyone other than yourself,” she had said. “They’ll wait.”

————————-

It was Sam who cracked Y/n's defenses first, though it took him weeks of gentle persistence. He had a way of being both laid-back and direct, not giving him much room to overthink. One afternoon, Y/n found himself sitting across from him at the compound’s kitchen island, awkwardly holding a controller as he taught Y/n how to play some old-school racing game.

“Don’t worry,” Sam grinned. “I’ll go easy on you.”

He didn’t. Y/n lost every race, but he didn’t mind. For once, losing didn’t come with consequences. Sam’s laugh was loud and infectious, and before Y/n realized it, he found himself chuckling along.

“See?” Sam said, nudging his shoulder lightly. “You’ve got a sense of humor in there somewhere.”

It was a small moment, but it was the first time Y/n’d felt… normal.

————————-

Training sessions with Steve Rogers were a different kind of therapy. He never barked orders or pushed Y/n beyond his limits. Instead, he treated each session like a lesson in self-control—teaching him to use his skills in ways that didn’t make him feel like a weapon.

“Strength is more than just force,” Steve would say. “It’s about knowing when not to fight.”

At first, it was hard to fight the reflex to be perfect, to push through every ache and bruise just to meet some invisible standard. But Steve never expected perfection. If Y/n faltered, he’d just nod and say, “Good. Now let’s try that again.”

One day, after a sparring match, Y/n hesitated as Steve packed up the training mats. “Thanks,” he muttered, the word feeling foreign but genuine.

Steve gave him that easy, reassuring smile of his. “Anytime.”

————————-

It was during one of Tony’s infamous pizza nights that Y/n realized how far he’d come. The team gathered in the common room, laughing and teasing each other over slices of greasy pepperoni. Y/n sat between Natasha and Clint, feeling oddly at ease even though he hadn’t said much all night.

At some point, Tony tried to rope him into a debate about who the best James Bond was. Y/n blinked, unsure if he was joking or not.

“C’mon, kid,” Tony said, grinning. “Tell me you’ve got an opinion on this. You have to.”

Before he could answer, Natasha smirked. “He’s still deciding if he likes any of us, Stark. Don’t scare him off with your movie rants.”

The team burst out laughing, and to Y/n's surprise, he found himself grinning too. Not because he had to, but because it felt right.

Natasha glanced at her brother from the corner of her eye, her expression soft and knowing. She didn’t say anything, but her small smile told him she was proud—and she realized he was too.

Bonus chapter:

Not every day was easy. Some mornings, the weight of the past dragged Y/n down like lead in his chest. Y/n still flinched at unexpected noises. Some nights, the nightmares left him breathless and paralyzed. But with Natasha, it didn’t feel like he had to face it alone.

One particularly bad night, Y/n couldn’t keep it all bottled up anymore. It was late—well past midnight—when the panic took over. Y/n found himself in Natasha’s room, pacing back and forth as he tried to control his breathing.

“They made us hurt each other,” he whispered, the words tumbling out faster than he could stop them. “Every day, every mission. If you hesitated, they punished you. They—”

Y/n's voice cracked, and he clenched his fists, furious at himself for breaking down. But Natasha didn’t look at Y/n with pity. She stepped closer, her hand resting lightly on his arm.

“They wanted you to believe it was the only way,” Natasha said softly. “But it’s not.”

The anger, the shame, the guilt—it all poured out in a rush, and Natasha let him feel every bit of it without judgment. When Y/n finally sank to the floor, exhausted and drained, she sat beside him.

“You’re not what they made you,” she repeated gently. “And you’re not alone.”

————————-

Months passed, and slowly, Y/n found himself carving out a place among the Avengers. It wasn’t perfect—he still had hard days, and some wounds ran too deep to ever fully heal. But he was learning that it was okay to not be okay all the time.

Natasha stayed close, always ready to catch him if he stumbled. But she also gave him room to grow. Y/n started spending more time with the others—training with Steve, playing video games with Sam, and even laughing at Tony’s terrible jokes. They weren’t just teammates anymore. They were friends.

And one day, as the team gathered for another chaotic dinner, Y/n realized something that hit him harder than any punch he’d ever taken: he wasn’t just surviving. He was living.

The thought was strange, almost surreal, but when Natasha met his gaze across the table and gave him a subtle, knowing nod, Y/n knew it was real.

He was home.

Any grammar mistakes will be fixed later

[ticcitoby-obsessor]

Military school

Toby Rogers x F!Reader [NSFW!]

Summery: You get sent to military school and there is one boy that stands out. Of course that's the boy everybody warned you about.

CW: 18+ content, descriptions of bodily harm, blood, suicidal thoughts, toxic relationship, sexual content, self-destructive tendencies, mention of selfharm, reader gets hurt, consent but everything is not well discussed. Sadism. Reader a bit of a masochists.

Warning for writing: Idk how a military school works, but everyone is over 18, toby has gone with slender (so he is over 19) but mother send him off before. (ofc that means she isnt dead and he didnt burn down their house) long plot before any fun. Dyslexia.

Your eyes flickered back and forth between your crying mother and your stern faced father. It was his decision, that was clear. His fault two men were dragging you out of your own house in the middle of the night. You weren’t surprised but you did not expect it either. It was those god damn rumours that had been flying around about you. He thought you was just like your friends, skipping school, smoking and partying. And sure you had been to some home parties your family did not know about. But that was normal for a teenager, you didn’t do anything bad.

Still two strong men, were hauling you of to military school. The only solution your father ever came up with. First it was your older brother, which made actually sense, but you, a girl, to military school. Had he lost his head. You didn’t get time to ask, to cry or scream at him, for being so horrible. Since you got pushed into a car before you could even get over the pure shock.

Nobody talked to you, instead they talked between each other, seeming as surprised as you. By your side was a bag of cloths, your mother must have packed. How could she let this happened, you thought to yourself. What would happen to you? Looking past the scariness of military school, there was for sure no other girls their. Why would they even allow this?

The car stopped at a harbour, were the two men helped you down into a fishing boat. One of them pointed out to an island just at the horizon.

“That’s the school.” The man pointed out.

“It wouldn't take long” The other stated, standing at the wheel. The first man reached out his hand.

“I am first Lieutenant Price.” He announced, shaking your hand.

“Okay.” You responded unsure, they probably had your name, so you saw no reason to act compliantly. He did not address you again before you was of the boat stepping on to the island.

The island was flush and green, perfectly clipped grass and tall trees encasing the four houses in-front of you. Three of them were gigantic red buildings that stretched out. But compared to the main house they were nothing special, a three story white building with unnecessary amount of windows stood proudly in the middle. Two red houses to its left, one at its right. There were wood flooring connecting the four together. Probably to keep the kids from tracking in mud.

Lieutenant Price stopped beside you, while you awed at your surroundings.

“Its very daunting, I am sure. But I assure you, you are perfectly safe here. Sadly we do not have any girls here for you, not even staff. Regardless you are not here to make friends, so just focus on your self, fallow orders and I am sure you will be home sooner then you think.” He spoke calmly but you sensed the nervousness he held to himself. He the guided you to the closes red house.

“You will be sleeping here, keep your items under your bed, you are given pyjamas and uniforms that you are to wear. They will be on your bed. You will be woken at 06:00 and will have 30 minutes to get to breakfast. You will sleep at 10:00.” He was clearly not focusing on the information he had to give you and neither were you. You clenched on to your bag tightly as he raised his hand to bang on the door. After doing so a ray of upset groans sounded from the room inside. He seemed to almost smile at having disturbed their sleep, before he opened the door.

Inside there were bunk beds filling the room, at least 20 were scrammed, meaning there was 40 or so boys you had to share room with. To think you had complained at 10 to not share room with your older brother. They all seemed rather annoyed as Lieutenant Price shot on the lights.

“This is Y/N” He announced into the room.

“And non of you are to disturb her. Enso!” He shouted out. A boy popped his head up, climbing down from his bunk.

“He is a prefect, you might say” Lieutenant Price whispered at you. Then he faced the boy. He was maybe a year older then you. Brown straight hair, with a short cut. He had a long nose and on the top of it a pair of crocked glasses. He was wearing the same green/blue pyjama as they all were.

“You are to show her, how things are done around here.” Lieutenant addressed to him.

“I trust you” he said in a lower tone. “You have 15 minutes until I shut of the lights. I will be waiting outside.” Then the Lieutenant turned to you. “There’s your bed, you can pick if you want the top or bottom.” He turned to the wall and you fallowed his eye to a red button on the wall. “That’s the emergency button. Do not hesitate to press it. If any of these bastards as much as look at you, press the button. It will sett of a red light in the main house and I will come running.” He smiled as if the opportunity to beat up these kids gave him joy. He then went to face the rest of the room, announcing loudly. “Do not touch Y/N, do not disturb her. All of you rotten low lifers stay away from her, you hear me. I will not hesitate to beat any of you to a pulp.”

“Understood, Lieutenant Price!” Echoed over the room. All 40 or so boys had managed to utter the phrase, though some more intensely then others.

The room filled with chatter when the Lieutenant left, but at least no one was directly shouting at you. Enso guided you to a wash room without speaking, he had grabbed the pyjama from what you guessed was your bed. The wash room looked old and mouldy. With sinks at the right side and toilets to the left, thankfully no urinals. At the end of the room was a couple of shower heads, but no designated shower area. You would have to shower when no one was around.

“You should shower before sleep each day, but you have not done a days work so.” He looked at you questioningly, but leading you to the answer. You shook your head.

“I would rather not.”

“Perfect, change in the toilet stalls, brush your teeth, its not rocket science.” Enso said yawning. He waited patiently for you to finish and then guided you back to the room. He stopped up in front of the bed he had taken to clothing from. The room seemed to go silent.

“Have a good night” Enso smiled at you as he dragged his feet to his own bed.

You climbed up to the top bunk. Feeling as though you were safer up top. It did not take long before the Lieutenant came in and shut of the light. You nervously laid unable to close your eyes, staring up at the celling. The snoring came fast, other more disgusting sounds fallowed shortly. And even when the whole room was sleeping you were unable to relax. How would you ever fall asleep? You plunged your head into your pillow, turning your body around. And though you did not think it, morning came faster the it should have. It didn’t feel like you had slept but without your notice an other adult stood at the door, letting the morning light in. Holding a bell that he shook loudly. You tried your best to lift yourself up, but everything was telling you to stay down. It had not been a nightmare, so it was better to not face it.

“Come on, up with you” Enso shook you bed lightly. You steered angrily at him. He smiled back, he seemed to be in a better mood this morning.

“You need to make your bed, tuck in the corners of the blankets inside and puff up you pillow.” You fallowed his instructions lazily. “Look three beds over, that’s mine, that’s how it suppose to look.”

“Too bad.” You responded back climbing back down. He lifted his shoulders but did not argue.

“Your uniform is under your bed, take that, plus whatever extra, and come with me to the wash rooms” You did as told and as you turned to fallow him you saw the storm of bodies blocking the way to the wash room. They were already starting to undress themself, though not reached the room yet. Enso did not seemed the least face, he took hold of your wrist and dragged you along into the sea of people.

He managed to fight you both though the door. He pushed through a door an other boy had just entered. The boy seemed scared out of his mind, clutching on to his own uniform.

“Get out” Enso shouted at him and surprisingly he did. Enso then opened the door for you to slip in to. It was clear why the Lieutenant had given him the roll. You had hidden your bra and panties inside of the uniform t-shirt and tried your best to put them on fast. You stepped into the green cargo pants and started buttoning the jacket to the best of your ability. Hands started banging of the stalls beside you. But it seemed that Enso was standing watch at yours. You were forever grateful for him.

As you stepped out, the washing rooms seemed to be less chaotic. Half at least had managed to finish up and somehow Enso was standing in front of you fully dressed to.

“Now, you need to clean your nails and behind your ears, that's the places they check.” Enso said, walking over to the sinks. “Hopefully they will give you a brush for yourself” he muttered handing you a small nail brush. “So you don’t need to share with such filth” he said, anger rising in his tone.

“Filth! Is that how the perfect little boy sees us!” A voice roared over the room. Three boys looked angrily over to Enso. “Now he was a girl to impress, the truth reviles itself.!” The other chimed in. “You all are filth, I have never said otherwise.” Enso shouted back. Before any respond came one of the boys flew forward fist first. Hitting Enso hard in the face. He stumbled for a second before an other came at him. The surrounded him, 7 or 8 boys pressed him up ageist the wall. You looked panicked around, seeing if there was any way you could help him.

“Leave it be” A voice sounded from the furthest sink, the only boy to not go in on the attack. He was tall with fluffy curly brown hair (I am not cutting his hair, idc its military school) You meet his eyes, a sweet light brown, then your eyes travelled down his face, to a white bandaged covering his left cheek. Your curiosity kicked in, as he walked calmly past you. The other boys seemed to stop just for a second as he left the room. Thankfully a knocking sounded at the wall.

“Cut it out” a harsh voice sounded and the boys scathed. You fell to your knees in front on Enso, how had bruises both under his eye and high up on his four head.

“Are you okey?” You said worriedly, helping him up on his feet.

“Yea, happens, bunch of monkeys.” He said frustrate. He walked scruffy over to the sink, holding his stomach as he tried to wash his face. Blood from his lip dripped down, colouring the water.

“We need to go fast.” Enso suddenly blurted out, grabbing your hand and pulling you out. He rushed you out of the building and the two of you ran down the wooden path way. It seemed you was heading for the house that stood by it self on the left side. There it was an other crowed of people, pushed up ageist each other, but this time the amount had doubled.

“Is that the new girl” A boy shouted at Enso as he flew past.

“Non of your business.” he shouted back

“So the rumours are true.” An other murmur as they past the second sleeping quarters. You reached the crowds but couldn’t get any further, you were already surrounded by both side. Enso was still holding on to you, though he had given up on moving further.

“As long as we are in the crowed, we will get in.” He explained looking down at you.

“I need air” You said with some panic in your throat. It felt like you were being pushed by all sides. Enso seemed a bit puzzled by you, clearly he did not want to give up the spot. Though he was fine with getting closer. Just as before he started fighting his way forward, punching his elbows in to people and shouting “move” at them. Suddenly you were up by the door, only about 2 meters away, with a fence in your stomach. You breath out, leaning yourself on the fence, people started to give you at least a bit more room with Enso’s constant shouting.

“Thank you.” You breathed out, looking up at him.

“Least I can do, we will be in soon.” He said looking over to the doors. that's when your eyes landed back on the building you had just come from, the letter 2a plastered on the wall besides the door. As you watch the person from before, with the brandade came walking out calmly. You watched how he, in a sea of running people, walked on as if there was no hurry. He lifted a cigarette out of his pant pocket and lifted a lighter out of the other.

“Who is that?” You asked Enso, bumping his hand a bit to get his attention. He sighed as he fallowed your eyes.

“Toby Rodgers” He announced. “Stay away from him. Listen to me he is bad trouble.

“Worst then the rest?”

“Much worst.” He got down closer to you ear and whispered.

“Most here have their reasons to be here, drugs, skipping school, being brats and troublemakers. The worst maybe thief’s and drug dealers. Well Toby, he is murder, serial murder to clarify.”

“What, why isn’t he in prison then?” You continued to stare at him as he brought the lit cig up to his mouth.

“His mother doesn’t want to convict him. She sent him here instead, after he murdered her boyfriend, his own stepfather.”

“What the fuck” you looked up at Enso, who seemed terrified by his own speech.

“that's not the worst, he admitted to killing 10 others, mostly teens. And the cops got no clue. He says the operator tells him to. What ever the fuck that it. He is bookers, mental, full on psychopath. Do not let him know even that you exist, everyone is scared of him.”

“I see” you respond back. At that moment people start moving around you and Enso pulls you in to a huge dinning hall.

The two of you push your way to the most far out dinning table. There are four gigantic tables stretched all the way to the end of the room, where the adults sit. Their table faces the rest, certainly to keep an eye on the kids. Up you see Lieutenant Price sit talking and laughing with some of the others. They table is full of breeds, cut meat and cheese, with a bowl of fruit in the middle. While you look down yours, you can only see a big cooking pot.

“What’s for breakfast?” You ask Enso, who seems a bit distracted.

“Same as always, porridge.” He answers without taking his eye of the door. You fallow his eyes to a group of boys laughing with something in their hands.

“Bastards.” He mutters under his breath. “Your okey here alone, aren’t you?” He asks but before you can answer he is off. He starts shouting loudly making everyone disperse.

“Finally.” A boy comes up, red hair with rounded glasses. You stare up at him, confused.

“Thought he was never gonna leave your side.” He somewhat clarifies.

“Who are you?

“Sam” The boy answers. “But that doesn’t matter. Tell me” His eyes sone in on you, a smirk forming. “How do you like all the attention? Is that why you are here? They say you come here cause you was such a slut, your parents couldn’t handle the shame.” Your eyes widen as you listen to his disgusting insults, you don’t know what to do or what to say, you just stare confused at him. Then you see five other boys giggling behind. You just hope Enso gets back before he continues on again.

“Back of.” A dark voice behind them, different to Enso, but still familiar. The boys scatter like chickens, laughing loudly. You see Toby Rogers is the only one left, why would he defend you, why would he care. Enso’s face pop up at his shoulder.

“Get to you seat Rogers.” He says sternly, but there is little behind the threat, you see he is deathly afraid of him, and Toby knows it too. He stares at you, only for a moment, you study his face, as does he study yours, then he turns and disperses into the surrounding chaos.

Another kid is at Enso’s shoulder, a smaller blond boy. He sits down next to Enso.

“Sorry about that, I shouldn’t have left you.” Enso says looking worried at you. But a hand stretches pass him and into your space. You take it so not to seem rude.

“Emil.” He shakes you hand.

“Y/N.”

“Your fucked, you know that right.” Emil says gravely, drawing his hand back.

“Stop being mean.” Enso says hitting him in the shoulder. Emil quickly goes to stroke it.

“I’m not being mean.” He defends.

“Why?” You ask, both the boys head turns. You know it will be an adjustment, and all you want is to get back home. But you don’t think it’s that bad, just incredible frighting.

“He got the hots for ya, its not good either way.” Emil blurt out before Enso can stop him.

“Who?” You ask, feeling a bit dumb.

“Rogers of course.” Emil says fighting ageist Enso’s hand. “But its not good, you cant reject a murder, they would kill you, wouldn’t they. He has killed for less. And you cant keep him happy either. Your fucked”

“Drop it, both of you, quiet!” Enso says a bit to loud. In the same moment, the man sitting in the upper table, in the middle, had started speaking. He must be some kind of headmaster of sorts, you think to yourself.

There wasn’t much else you could think about for the rest of the breakfast. Though Emil was in you ear giving you the backstory of every student and pressing out every detail about you. Your most used word for that whole interaction was “huh”. Later on you had been put in to a group of 15 who had all been given jobs to cut some wood in the forest. Thankfully Enso was one in that group and told the others that you and him would wheelbarrow the wood back to the designated area, behind the dinning hall. You spend the next four hours pushing the crappy wheelbarrow back and forth but at least you could go as slow and take as many breaks as you needed. You was sitting down, drenched in sweet when Enso started warring you again.

“You seem to interested, I have to say.”

“About what?” You cocked you head up.

“Rogers.”

“I am not, but its not often you cross a serial killer and know it.” You tired to laugh but was meet with a concerned look you knew all to well.

“Regardless of what he was done, or what you think he has not. I have been here since the day he came, he is ruthless and cold. He has not made one friend and he has gotten in more fights then I can count.”

“You was in a fight this morning.” You point up at the bruise under his eye.

“Not the same. Rogers fights too the death, people end up having to be sent to the main land, only reason no one dies, is cause there’s always someone around.”

“If you was to get… romantic with the lunatic and you pissed him off, for the smallest shit, he would with no second thought, bring you to the woods and kill you. No one would dear to go with him, but if you think he is nice and kind you would. He would manipulate you.” Enso was getting louder and louder as he spook.

“I am not planning to get romantic with him.” You reassure.

“You better not.” Enso said a bit more softly, crashing by your side. Neither of you say anything for a while. You swirls moss between your fingers, while Enso starred at the ground.

“You know he stutters?” Enso asks. You look judgmentally up at him.

“What?” You ask cocking an eyebrow.

“He doesn’t say much because he stutters. Was bullied for it before he went crazy. He has some tic disorder or some shit. They called him Ticci Toby.”

“That’s cruel.” You respond. But you see Enso is about to go off on you for defending him or some shit so you shoot in. “But its worst to kill people.” He seem to calm down by that. Goodness this boy, you think to yourself.

The two of you continue shortly after. On the way back both of you are loudly chatting and laughing and it seems Enso has come down from his scare. The two of you seem to be creating a nice bond, which you are happy to have. Enso does not seem to have any other ulterior motives, which you are thankfully for. But you both grow quiet as you see an adult in a uniform similar to Lieutenant Price.

“There comes the chattering couple.” He says sternly.

“Y/N has been talking this whole time, Enso just tries to answer her questions but she never shuts up, you know how women are.” A boy rattles before you or Enso can say anything. You stare blankly at the boy. You had no idea you were not allowed too. Your eyes flicker to Enso, who looks almost ashamed.

“Yes, I do know, well better to not scorn a perfect boy’s paper cause of a girl, is it now.” The man looks condescendingly over to you. Then your eyes lock on someone standing in the distance behind him. Rogers is standing by a tree, axe in hand. Without a shirt, you cant help to study his muscles, and his scars, covering his whole upper body.

“An hour with the rubble, young lady.” The man in front of you announces, bringing you back to the moment. Your about to protest, when you hear a huge dunk into a tree. The man turns around, seeing Toby Rogers putting his full force into swinging the axe into the tree in front of him, but vertically, destroying most of the tree in process.

“He has fucking lost it.” Enso whispers in utter shock.

“Stop that. Rogers stop!” The man roars, but you can clearly see he is to scared to step closer to him.

“You are destroying it, we can not use any of it if you destroy it. It will be only pieces left.” Another kid jammers on, clearly upset. But Toby continues, you can not help yourself as you watch him flinging the axe around. Though he looked incredibly skinny and lanky, he had some insane muscle and they were even stronger then they looked.

“Drop the axe, I am warring you Rogers.” The man continued, we was close to pleading now. Everyone was scared that he would start attacking them soon, instead of the tree. That was everyone but you. You was to fucked up to even realise the danger. But the axe dropped, and Toby turned around smiling at the man, who took a step back. His eyes then landed on you and you had to be blushing, he studied you for a moment. Was he expecting you to look frighted like everyone else?

“Good, good.” The man placed his hand on his heart. “Do not pull any more stunts like that.” It did not sound like a command.

“No p-punish-ment? His head twisted to the side. But he brought it back quickly, still with a wicked smile.

“Of course your getting a punishment.” The man seemed frighted even uttering the words. “I guess you will be helping Y/N in the rubble.”

“What, that deserves much worst, what the fuck are you on about.” Enso shouted out in blind anger. “You would be risking her life, ahh I guess you would rather risk hers then your own, you coward.”

The man did not address the comment, he left as if nothing had been said. You started thinking why it was that Enso could speak like that to an officer and not get punished. Why he could get in a fight and view it as normal, Why he could speak when the head of the school was speaking and though they all seemed so strict on the others, to this point Enso had not even gotten a warning. Your eyes circled back to Toby, who was smirking almost proudly. Did he enjoy pissing Enso off.

Comparably the rest of the day was much more chill. After having finished at the forest, you had eaten lunch and put to fish for the rest of the day. Once more you was on a team with Enso but this time only three others, neither of them you knew. You had not caught a single fish but Enso had gotten four and put two in to your bucket. But as you gave in Enso’s fish, you was separated from him.

“Y/N, you come with me. You will be getting dinner later.” The man in front of you was the same from the woods. He guided you behind the red building you had spend you night twisting and turning in. There was a pile of big rocks stacked on each other. You could see a red square indicating were the rocks were to be placed. About ten meters away from the pile was an other red square.

“There you are, Rogers.” The man said annoyed. “I don’t need to explain this to you, you explain it to the girl.” He looked almost disgusted as he uttered the words. But before you could form an opinion on it, he was gone.

You starred up at Toby, a bit confused. He seemed almost taller, being out here alone with him. A bit more frighting too. He had for sure not been out fishing, rather he already looked dirty and tired. You mind suddenly went back to the forest, seeing him half naked, it made you blush again.

“Well, y-” He stopped him self for a moment, starring down at you.”Why are you b-blushing?” He looked almost offended.

“I’m..I’m sun burnt, not blushing.” You stumbled over your words.

“Y-you put those rock’s there.” He pointed at the other square. “We h-have an h-our.”

“Fuck its gonna take me days.” You exclaimed already feeling tired.

“Good for you, I am here then.” He smirked, then his neck twisted again, he didn’t seem put down by it, he looked rather used to it.

Both of you started working, you tried your best to take as many rocks as possible, but they would all just fall down from your hands. Similarly you tried to copy Toby’s speed but it was impossible, in the span of three minutes, you was heaving on the ground for air.

“Just f-focus on your self, short stuff.” He exclaimed as he past by you.

“Short stuff! Don’t call me... short.” You tried to get the words out, but you needed to breath with ever syllable.

“You are short.” He lifted his shoulders, holding a toon of rocks as he past you for the second time.

“You… You are…” You couldn’t get much out, you wanted to insult him. The warnings from the others had clearly fallen out of your head. Toby smirked as he came back around. He lowered himself on his knees in front of you.

“See, e-even on my knees, I’m higher then you.” He smiled. Placing his hand horizontal to the top of his head and bring forward over yours.

“I’m on the ground.” You cried out in frustration. You felt you was back at being bullied by your brother. Toby raised himself up, and reached down a hand to you. A bandaged hand with signs of bleeding underneath. You took it looking carefully up at him. God he was hot, you thought.

“Why did you do all that spectacle any ways?” You asked as you got to your feet. You would rather do anything else then carry rocks.

“P-prep boy Enso fucked you o-over, he is stupid like that, doesn’t even k-know the rules since he doesn’t have to o-obey them. But there’s one punishment he cant e-escape.” Toby smirked, he was so close you could smell what deodorant he used.

“What’s that?”

“Fear.” Toby looked deep into your eyes, he was way to close.

“Fear?” You was not focused on the conversation at all, would have been more productive to talk to a wall.

“Fear of me hurting you.” He smiled. With that you was punched in the chest by the fact that you was gushing over a serial killer, that just mentioned hurting you. You stepped back a bit, your eyes winding.

“I’m n-not gonna.” He laughed. “The b-boy is pissing h-himself in bed right now imagining all that I could do to you.” God you was imagining it too, but fuck it was probably a whole lot different. “If you do not want me to, that is.” He smirked, turning away from you. You stood there staring as an idiot as he walked over to the pile of rocks. You could not make it more obvious that was for sure.

Coming back down to earth, you sighed realising you still needed to work. You dragged your feet over and picked up a handful of rocks, they dug into your soft skin easily. But that was not what was occupying your mind.

“Wait, why does Enso get away with stuff?” You asked, almost starting to run towards Toby.

“F-finally you caught on.” Toby laughed letting his rocks fall down and turning to you. “Sorry to d-destroy is good boy image.” He started. You had almost caught up to him. “E-Enso will inherent this hell and his proud of it t-too.” Toby stated as you reached him.

“What, how?”

“How do you think?” He rolled his eyes.

“So that’s why your after him?” You asked slowly. A bit unsure how far you wanted to dig.

“I don’t c-care about Enso or his shit of a f-family. But its fun to piss him off, show h-him he isn’t as unt-touchable as he t-thinks.” Toby smiled down at you, walking a step forward to get closer to you. “But you, y-you are more int-tresting.” He lifted your chin, holding it up, while studying your face. His eyes landed on you lips just for a moment then raised up to your eyes. “Why aren’t you scared?”

You had sat with that question yourself, fucked up family, fucked up friends. What should you blame it on, a consistent tolerance for fear cause your life was so unstable. A wish for death cause you did not see much of a future in front of you or a wish for excitement cause while you acted like a good girl, it was all so god damn boring. You didn’t say non of it. He didn’t have a right to know.

“Why should I be scared?”

“Well there’s two s-situations you find y-yourself in that should u-utterly t-terrify you.” He spoke calmly, seductively, so close you could feel his breath on your lips. How you wanted to reach up and take them in your own.

“What’s that?” Stupid question, you knew the answer, but you want him to say it. To say that he was as dangerous as everyone made him out to be. Maybe it would make your hearth beet a bit quicker, though it was already racing.

“Your a girl, surrounded by criminals, the worst men of your age.” He smirked. “And your about to kiss the worst one of them all.” Fuck, you thought. You watched him lower himself down to you, felt his lips just reach you. Then came the hands, clucking around you, pulling you in. He was ravishing your mouth as if he was starving for you tongue. And as if it had not happened he pulled away, you felt cold, alone, abandon only for a second as you opened your eyes to his sniggering look.

“Can’t do all of this h-here.” He stated half closed eyes looking lazily down at you. He took your hand, without agreement or refusal, you was dragged of into the woods. Maybe this was your time to die, as long as you got an other kiss first, you would be satisfied.

Having walked rather further then you thought necessary, he planted his hands on your waist and lifted you up on a big boulder, as if you weight no more then a feather. He pushed himself in-between your legs and finally he let you have his delicious lips once more. There was a flavour of smoke but also something else, something you had previously only smelled.

“Tell me s-short stuff.” He muttered into your lips. “Can I take you f-further?” He asked while kissing down you neck.

“Yeah.” You moaned back. With that there was no more holding him back it seemed. He first started with unbuttoning your jacket, which went surprisingly fast. He threw it behind him, while kissing you deeply, only to pull away again to lift up you t-shirt. He grinned looking down at your chest, surrounding himself in your soft glory. You felt his kisses all over, while his hands reached up to your bra clip. You heard it clip of, much more compliantly to him then it had been to you. But as it fell down and the cold braze hit your nipples, he bit down on your skin. Making you give out a small scream in surprise. He raised his head smiling up at you, he seemed rather more exited by making you scream.

While kissing and sucking intensely on ever skin tissue from your neck to your hips. His fingers found their way down your pants. First he circled around, above you panties, but he quickly grew tired of that. He lifted his head up, meeting your lips once more, you moan helplessly into his kiss, while his fingers dipped under your panty line.

“God, I have n-no patients.” He raised his head up, as if he was truly pleading to a god. But as he lowered his eyes back on to yours you could see that no god would answer. A wicked grin formed over his face. Cruel thoughts you could see form in his eyes. And for some reason you wanted the worst, he could ever give you. You pants came quickly of after that. He gave you a kiss goodbye. Before he lowered himself on to his knees and planted his face roughly into to your pussy. You was already flowing but still it seemed your pussy could produce even more. His tongue flicked back and forth between you opening and your clit. As if he could not decide which he wanted more.

He started to settle in, focusing more on creating louder moans from your mouth then satisfying his own desperation. He first landed on your clit, trying a plethora of different technics. After having found three that made you grasp into his fluffy hair. He worked you until your toes went warm and your caffs started shaking.

“Your torturing me.” You moaned out in a plead for him to put something inside you. And as if he could read your mind, you was meet with his fingers. First that was a disappointment until he started the same with them.

“That’s t-the point s-short stuff.” He grinned into your pussy. When he found the exact angle that made you buckle your hips to him, he started to pump his fingers back and forth into you. While deliciously licking your clit. He seemed somewhat surprised when he was able to put a third one in you, but you were to delirious to even notice.

You rocked desperately on the rock beneath you. Not even noticing that your bare skin was rubbing with the boulder making small abrasions into your skin. He was nothing compared to the lousy sex partners you had in the past. All drunk out of their mind, looking for a quickie to release the pressure. You was starting to understand the whole hype, that your friends had been talking about, though non of them had described the incredible feeling that was flowing through you. Or less the desperation you had to have this man inside of you. It did not matter what he wanted for it. You would give up all, do everything just to feel him in you. Your eyes opened wide, a manic look you had never possessed before. It was dark all around you, to your surprise, but that did not change anything.

“Please fuck me, please.” You begged. Toby laughed, having to back up a bit. His beautiful rough and long fingers slid out of you and you could not help to moan in disappointment. That’s when you realised the pleading had thrown your partner out of the moment. He steered up at you smiling, laughing at your desperation.

“You want to be fucked?” He asked cocking his head. He was gonna make this hard for you.

“Yes, fuck sakes I do.” You grasped his jacket as he laughed on.

“Well what w-would you do f-for it?” He asked looking down at you will unbuttoning his shirt.

“Everything, absolutely everything.” You continued, feeling cold and a bit numb.

“Like drink something poisons after?” He smirked. Your face changed, grew pale and cold. But your mind was made up. You nodded softly, confirming your doom.

“Its not g-gonna kill you.” He laughed as he realised what you was thinking. “But I don’t have a condom and I will not be stopping myself. I know I wouldn’t be able to.” He smiled, pulling his pants down to reveal it, hard and pulsing. You did not have long to look as he grabbed your legs and pushed himself inside. You realised his kindness was gone as he pounded into you with no warring. He gleamed as he saw your shock, when you cried out in surprise he only went faster, deeper and harder.

His mouth clashed into yours, pushing himself passed your teeth. You were subservient, you relaxed into his aggressive grip. There was something, that made you trust him, something that made you think he would never hurt you. Or rather if he did you would be fine with it. Something called delusion but that was not for you to worry about. You rather meet his tongue, pulled him more down on to you. Your ankles locked around his tights. Letting him drive deeper into you as you were desperate to make him be a part of you.

“The sensation you had been reaching for before, but not fully grasping was coming back. He mouth left yours when all it was capable of doing was to moan. You did not realise how loud you sounded but it only seemed to encourage him more. That did not stop him from chomping down on your neck. You felt his teeth, sharp as a vampires, dig into your skin. Intense pain roared together with the pleasure, overloading you with senses.

You screamed out, in an incredible loud shriek. As your own sound died down and his teeth left your skin alone, you head him laughing in your ear. Pumping still intensely fast in and out of your pussy, you realised that the overwhelming pressure was building quickly. You was close to cum. It agitated you how painfully it let you sit, being so incredibly close. Your eyes meet with Toby’s and he seemed to recognise the intense pleading look you gave him.

“Don’t worry.” He whispered into your ear. He drew his right arm back from having been supporting your back from touching the rock, without you noticing. He brought it down to your clit, rubbing his thumb. Exactly as you had enjoyed before. Your head flew back in utter pleasure. Making the man over you even more desperate. He pounded into you, with all his power, making the inside of your thighs bruise. You was sure the same was true for your pussy too.

“Will you scream for me d-darling?” He whispered softly into your ear. You nodded intensely.

“I would do anything for you.” You declared rather desperately. He laughed at that as he reached behind you for just a moment. Still working your clit and your pussy so incredibly. Your eyes went to his hand, in which he had a sharp blade. He smirked down at you, as your eyes widened. To many of times had you have to deal with the threat of being murdered this night, this time you decided not to jump to conclusions. Instead you focused solely on the pleasure you was receiving. The fear only made it more intense.

He lifted your arm gently of his back and stretched it out. Then he placed the blade, pulling it softly into your skin. Somehow he managed to still his hand while still pipping into you. Sadly you had lost your beloved stimulation of your clit. But the pain rushing over you, quickly made you forget that.

“There you go.” He pushed the blade deeper into your skin. You started to scream, tears gathered up in your eyes. But the pain only grew. So did that intense sensation that felt like a bobble about to pop.

“Good girl.” He professed softly as a tear left your eye, travelling down your cheek. In hearing these words, the pressure popped to. You was cumming violently around his dick. He opened his mouth and you heard the first moan he would give you, as the blade feel to the ground. Blood dripped down to the soft moss. While he loaded himself into you.

Both of you laid spread out on to the moss, breathing heavenly. He had helped you sink into the ground as your ears was ringing and the earth felt like it was turning. You felt as though you had completely blacked out and the only thing that had kept you safe was him. You grasped his hand as you opened your eyes. He let you have it, stoking the top off your hand with his thumb. You steered up at the black night sky, filled with beautify shining stars looking down at the atrocities that had just occurred. You were forever thankful that you got to experience it.

After having calmed down, the two of you started to dress yourself again. He helped you with your panties.

“Your keeping that.” He said, lifting his finger out from the lips of your pussy.

“Yes, I am.” You smiled back. You did not even want to think about the consequences of those actions. Hopefully he had been in so many fights, that he had become impotent.

“All your then.” He announced as he slid your panties up. He dressed you carefully, kissing every place he touched. Until it came to your t-shirt. He lowered himself down on to his knees and brought the cut on your arm up to his mouth. He cleaned off the blood with his toung. And then ripped his own t-shirt up to bandage it around your scar.

“You look beautiful with it.” He said softly, looking down at it. Your eyes found their way down to, seeing the scar stand out freshly ageist your many healed once. You had not thought of them in so long, they had almost not existed for you. Still you did not feel ashamed or shy when he viewed them. You more so felt understood.

As you tracked up to the two piles of rocks, one clearly larger then the other. You were greeted with a rather angry officer.

“Where have you been?” He shouted angrily.

“Forest.” Toby responded shortly.

“You should have been here, fulfilling your assignment. Instead you was out raping this poor girl, on her first day. You sick animal.” The officer went furious.

“What?” You shouted out, offended by his words. But Toby lifted his hand up, stopping you from charging up at the guy.

“I did no such thing. We went to the woods to smoke.” Toby lied, fishing out a pack of cigs from his pocket. “She didn’t want any, so we are back.”

“Liar.” He said disgusted looking at Toby then his eyes went to you.

“Tell me Y/N, the truth, I promise you he can not hurt you no more.”

“We went in to smoke, I tough I wanted, but I changed my mind. Toby was very kind and did not push or pressure me to smoke.” You stared angrily at the officer.

“Well that is not allowed either way. Five lashings.” The officer announced like a medieval king.

“What?!” Toby was the one losing his temper now.

“For the girl, ten for you.” The officer starred him down.

[pottersdune]

My Roman Empire for Haladriel will always be that Galadriel could have tried to turn Sauron to good the same way that he made attempt after attempt to turn her to darkness.

Imagine if she just once tried to reason with him, negotiate with him or provide conditions for his compliance. I believe he would have made a lot of concessions just to keep her with him. To be clear, I don’t think she should have done this or is in any way responsible for what he turned out to be, it’s just an interesting concept to explore.

She asks him one question on the raft: rule or save? Which he answers incorrectly. And from then on, she’s done with him. Not because they don’t have a connection or even because of Finrod. It’s because she fell so deeply and the betrayal hurts her so profoundly. She also feels like it was all an illusion and Sauron felt no connection (which we the audience know is false).

Galadriel is well and truly heartbroken throughout season 2. In every conversation she has - with Gil-Galad, Elrond, Adar, Celebrimbor, she is completely depressed. Elrond says Sauron is still in her heart, Galadriel admits that her world has lost all color without him. It is in every acting choice Morfydd makes over both seasons.

With this in mind, the best storytelling device and most heart wrenching thing the show could possibly do is have a full circle and honest conversation between Galadriel and Sauron. Galadriel needs to be honest about everything she felt for him. He needs to be honest about what he felt for her. And the gut punch will be that they had that conversation too late.

It can be after the fall of Numenor or in the last episode of the series where it’s clear that nothing can come of it because at that point he’s truly irredeemable. In order to have a satisfying relationship arc to the central relationship the entire show is based on, this is necessary. We didn’t get it in the season 2 finale and got a bunch of nonsense Marvel-esque lines from Galadriel.

To the showrunners, put the lore bros and neo cons and tradwives aside and focus on the story you have told. Admit that the entire angle of this adaption is about Sauron and Galadriel and their push and pull dynamic (which lasts for 3000 years). Trying to satisfy the loudest and angriest voices on the internet is going to satisfy no one.

Empty action sequences with binary representations of good and evil doesn’t make for a compelling story. The best story telling for a TV show format is character driven and relationship driven. Honor that. Capitalize on the insane chemistry of these actors. Otherwise, your entire story has lost meaning, cohesion and heart.

[jintaka-hane]

For the new years event can i request heat and rain by sleep token 👉👈

Also asked by @heats-lover-girl <3

[Masterlist] Kiss your blorbo on New Year’s Eve

HEAT

Summary: If you play with fire, one day you'll get burned. Word count: 1100 Warning: x f!reader; rough kissing All my stories are written entirely in Spanish and then translated into English, so I apologize for any mistakes I might make.

If eyes could eat, you'd be nothing but skin and bones by now.

You love teasing him. In fact, it’s one of your favorite pastimes, and seeing how every little thing you do gets a reaction, you get bolder and bolder.

You always pick moments when he can’t touch you. Is he following orders from the captain? You strut across the deck right in front of him, grinning and swaying your hips. Is he meticulously working on some carpentry project that keeps his hands occupied? You call his name, then give him a flirty wink while biting your bottom lip. Is he busy demolishing an enemy crew? Being a walking flamethrower takes focus, but there you are, gazing at him seductively from a distance, wetting your lips and blowing kisses his way.

"One day, I’m gonna grab you and ain’t lettin’ go," he always growls when you push things a little too far, frustrated because he can’t lay a hand on you. But all bark and no bite, you think with a laugh, skipping away challengingly while his eyes eat you alive.

You know those sunken, haunted eyes of his have traced every inch of your body. That the teeth behind his scarred lips have nearly cracked from the tension of clenching them too hard. And that beads of sweat have slid down that tattooed neck of his as he imagines all the things he’d do to you if he could.

But the commander with the blue-tinted dreads never takes action. Maybe it’s shyness, or maybe he’s just waiting for the right moment. Either way, that threat of his never comes to fruition, and you keep provoking him, like a little bunny daring the wolf to strike.

“… and to kick off the year like the last, tomorrow at dawn, we’ll conquer another fucking island! NOW DRINK!” Kid shouts, half-drunk, concluding his usual New Year’s Eve speech.

The crew cheers, raising their drinks high and spilling them everywhere, though hardly anyone actually listened. They’re too busy fighting over bites of the epic feast Killer prepared, while the blonde tries to shove people away from the mountain of roasted meat.

It’s always chaos aboard the ship on New Year’s Eve. Preparations start out orderly enough, with tasks divided to decorate the ship using whatever you can get your hands on. Stolen shiny objects, glittering scraps of metal, or pieces of looted treasure. Everything’s fair game and counts as festive if you look at it the right way. But as soon as the captain climbs up onto the massive dinosaur skull to give his speech, things spiral out of control because you all know what comes next. Barrel races over the water, drinking competitions and arm-wrestling matches with high-stakes bets, and the traditional “treasure hunt,” with a very drunk Wire as the guardian.

You clutch your stomach, laughing uncontrollably as you lie sprawled on the deck, your clothes and hair completely soaked from the countless times Bubblegum has tossed you overboard. Quincy reaches out a hand to help you up, and you grab it, letting her pull you to your feet while swiping Hop’s drink on the way up.

“Hey!” she yells, launching herself at you and knocking you back to the ground. You can’t stop laughing, and amidst the playful scuffle, you feel it again. Those eyes burning holes into your body.

The tall commander hasn’t been able to take his eyes off you all night, his tattooed arms resting on the railing and his long hair cascading over his shoulders, staring at you as if you were the only person on the deck.

"Guys, guys, guys! The cannon!!! It’s almost midnight!!" Dive yells, bouncing up and down as she points at Kid, who sets his drink on the railing and aims the ship’s main cannon at the sky.

Everyone scrambles to their feet and rushes over there. It’s going to be spectacular when he fires it, and no one wants to miss the show. You wrap your arms around Quincy and Bubblegum, and at Killer’s signal, everyone starts shouting the countdown.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six!"

Kid lets out a wild howl at the top of his lungs, and the crew cheers, joining him before continuing with the countdown.

"Five, four, three, two, one!"

BOOOOOOOM!!

The captain laughs maniacally as he fires the cannon, the explosion shaking your chest and making you gasp as thousands of glittering scraps of metal rain down on you. The crew roars, and just as you open your mouth wide to shout “Happy New Year!”, a few taps on your shoulder stop you. Raising an eyebrow, you turn around, and for the first time since joining the Kid Pirates, you tremble.

"Got you," Heat says, his imposing figure looming over you, eyes filled with the desperation of a ravenous man. He grabs your cheeks, guides your face upward, and before you can react, crashes his mouth possessively onto yours. His tattooed lips move against yours in a rough, almost bruising kiss, leaving you with no choice but to surrender and kiss him back.

"UUUUH!!! Woohoo!! Go get her, Heat!" You hear cheers and whistles erupt from the crew.

The sparkling rain of metal continues to fall around you as you laugh into the kiss, your hands blindly tracing the snaking designs inked on Heat's neck before tangling in his locks. He hums, low and pleased, then his hands roam over your shoulders and down your back. When you finally need to break for air, one of your hands presses against his chest. But as soon as you tilt your head back, he growls, his grip tightening on a strand of your hair to keep you in place.

Wolf-like howls echo around you and you give in. Your fingers grip the laces of his corset as his other hand moves lower, settling on your lower back and closing the small gap between your bodies. Breathless, you try once more to pull away, only for him to growl again, his jaw tilting against yours as he nips at your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth open further to deepen the kiss.

"Uh, okay… I'll take Dive," you hear Killer say.

"No!" Dive stomps her feet and protests.

"Yes, ma’am, we’re going...," the first mate adds, and you’re certain he’s watching as Heat becomes wild, gripping your ass as if he can’t get enough of you. "In fact… we’re all going. Guys! The party continues in the aft castle!"

"YEEEES!" the crew roars, leaving you helpless and giddy in the wolf's grasp.

................................................

Taglist: @fanaticsnail @armiliadawn @pandora-writes-one-piece @i-am-vita @eustasscapitankid @nocturnalrorobin @daydreamer-in-training <3

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

WRITER SARA HESS TALKING ABOUT RHAENYRA AND ALICENT'S RELATIONSHIP IN SEASON 1 AND THEIR MOTHERHOOD FOR VARIETY MAGAZINE.

“I can definitely understand that it’s hot watching complex female characters who have agency and who are trying to navigate the world and understand themselves. Like, that is hot,” nonbinary actor D’Arcy says.

“And is very different from, I suppose, more two-dimensional portrayals of female sexuality.” 

Cooke adds: “I guess what’s alluring, and quite scintillating, is that they all live in quite close proximity to each other,” noting “House of the Dragon” Season 1’s focus on keeping its characters near the Iron Throne in King’s Landing.

“Stealing these loaded looks with someone that you fancy and that’s forbidden, that’s hot. It’s all hot.”

“We had a lot of conversation at the beginning about, is this a feature or a flaw?” Hess says.

“There’s a lot of births, do we want to see a lot of births? My thinking was, every single childbirth I’ve ever seen on television, in any show, in any genre at any time, has always looked exactly the same: the woman lying on her back with her feet in the stirrups and doing the pushing and the baby comes out.”

“In my experience, women give birth in vastly different ways.”

“I thought we should show them all and they be really, really different, separate experiences and not just, now there’s that birth scene and we all know exactly what it looks like.”

FOLLOWING THE BIRTH SCENE IN EPISODE 6, D'ARCY RECALLS SHOOTING A PARTICULARLY REALISTIC MOMENT OF MOTHERHOOD WHEN RHAENYRA FINALLY GETS TO REST AFTER GIVING BIRTH AND IMMEDIATELY GOING OFF TO SHOW THE BABY TO ALICENT:

“She gets in and [her sons] Jace and Luke have gone and got a dragon’s egg and want her to look at it.”

“And I just remember responding, ‘Wow, that looks perfect,’ but not looking at them at all, I was looking in the other direction.

“And that felt like what a lot of parenting is probably like.”

FOR COOKE, THE MOTHERHOOD MENTALITY HIT IN EPISODE 9, WRITTEN BY HESS AND DIRECTED BY CLARE KILNER:

“That moment in the carriage where Alicent’s hungover son asks her if she loves him, and she says it by smiling and saying, ‘You imbecile.’

“Like, it’s so obvious, this is all for you.”

“Everything that I’ve done.”

“Everything that I’ve sacrificed.”

“All the awful things I’ve done in order to facilitate your ascension is because I love the bones of you.”

BUT MOTHERHOOD IS FAR FROM THE ONLY ASPECT OF A WOMAN'S LIFE THAT FEMALE WRITERS LIKE HESS AND WOMEN DIRECTORS INCLUDING KILNER AND PATEL INFUSED INTO THE STORY, WITH MUCH OF THE SEASON FOCUSING ON YOUNG ALICENT (EMILY CAREY) AND RHAENYRA (MILLY ALCOCK) AND THEIR DEEP BOND AND INTENSE FALLING OUT.

“There’s an element of queerness to it,” Hess says.

“Whether you see it that way or as just the unbelievably passionate friendships that women have with each other at that age.”

“I think understanding that element of it sort of informs the entire rest of their relationship… Even though they’re driven apart by all these societal, systemic elements and pressures and happenings, at the core of it, they knew each other as children, and they loved each other and that doesn’t go away.”

Hess continued: “Olivia has told me she believes — and this is her headcanon — that they at some point kissed or made out or had some kind of physical interaction that Alicent’s mother found out about and forbade.”

“And that was Olivia’s head story, ‘Oh, I can’t do that. That’s not right.’ And that’s the background for her in their relationship going forward. I would be 100% down with that.”

COOKE SAYS SHE AND D'ARCY HAVE “DEFINITELY” TALKED ABOUT ALICENT AND RHAENYRA BEING “EACH OTHER'S FIRST LOVE”:

“But when it comes to our iterations of the characters, too much has happened and too much time has passed to probably even recognize those fledgling feelings.”

“But Condal and Hess weren’t “necessarily interested in ever defining” what that love meant in terms of the women’s sexuality.”

“I happen to be a queer woman, but I know straight women who had ‘Heavenly Creatures’ -esque, romantic friendship with their best friend at that age,” Hess said.

“That’s something that I think, probably — I don’t want to stereotype anybody – but it seems to be more a phenomenon with young women than it is with men, probably because whether you’re queer or not, society cares less if you’re physically intimate with each other or hugging or touching each other.”

“You can have sleepovers and sleep in the same bed and nobody cares.”

[lizawithaz-notlisawithans]

Okay you can all hate me but has anyone else given a thought to Javadi x Whitaker?

After watching a video of all their interactions, Whitaker is so sweet to her making sure she was okay after passing out in the first hour. He immediately reports it to Robby even when she’s embarrassed and wants to ignore it. They bond over Santos being embarrassed about dropping the scalpel on Garcia.

Obviously, Javadi is a lover girl who immediately has her heart eyes set on Matteo (which whomst amongst us wouldn’t ?!). She would totally not see Whitaker that way at first to focus all her yearning towards someone who doesn’t wanna date a coworker.

In the 10 month interim between seasons, Javadi befriends Santos and Whitaker and hangs out with them in their apartment. But since they’re still students, Javadi and Whitaker start a study group to help keep up with their schoolwork and residency/fellowship apps.

They goof off doing schoolwork in similar ways and don’t mind hearing the other rant about a niche thing they’re into. Though Javadi draws the line at any stories about 4H club.

They start a very comfortable friendship that I can see going deeper when they both vent about their parents and home life. In the show, Whitaker doesn’t give a straight answer on whether his parents are proud of him and Javadi’s parents have had her in this success track since diapers. All those pressures can be a lot so its nice to confide with someone struggling with their parents expectations.

They’re both small fishes in very big ponds. Whitaker being in a big city for the first time. Javadi being surrounded by people much older than her, her entire schooling and now in the hospital. Both feel like unprepared tiny adults. But they are so excited to tell each other at the end of the day what new procedures they got to do for the first time.

Whitaker develops a small crush that he pushes away as a proximity thing but Santos can tell when they all hang out that Whitaker and Javadi seem to develop a secret code amongst themselves. They develop an awareness of each other that is comfortable and protective.

When Santos takes them out barhopping after Javadi turns 21 (Javadi schedules a night out just for her hospital friends since her parents took her out to dinner on her actual birthday) Whitaker seems to always appear next to Javadi with a glass of water to remind her to pace herself.

The more they interact outside of the hospital setting the closer they get. Its to the point Javadi has the realization that many girls make in their 20s: the boy they have been “officially”calling their crush is less of a real person but a construction of affection created through limerence in order to protect oneself from actually being in a relationship and risking potential emotional harm. Tale as old as time. You like the idea of someone but don’t understand the real person in front of you.

Javadi realizes this after she finally has a coffee date (he doesnt say date but she assumes) with Matteo and she realizes they dont have much in common outside of medicine and mutual respect. Which leads Javadi to spiral cause how can she not be into him, she was nervous the entire time in his presence?!

And maybe she has this spiral with her good friends Whitaker and Santos. And Santos counters with much wisdom, “maybe your person isn’t someone you’re always bumbling and nervous around, maybe it’s the person who makes you feel calm and serene?” Whitaker avoids eye contact with both Javadi and Santos(who he said those exact words to describe how Javadi makes him feel)

Javadi totally doesn’t get the hint and goes on a string of dating app dates which does nothing but either set off her anxiety or bore her to tears. And Whitaker painfully gets the debriefs after every single date.

Santos can’t take seeing her roommate flounder anymore and takes to her plan b: gossip. She slips to Princess and Perlah that she overheard Whitaker asking Javadi out (they actually did plan to see a movie after doing a timed practice test during their study group). The goss spread like wildfire throughout the ED.

Dana coyly says to Javadi one break that she’s “Glad you’re making the move from Utah to Nebraska, kid.” Javadi is immediately horrified at the rumor, insisting that Whitaker is her closest friend in the ED and that shes never even been to Nebraska so how does that metaphor even work.

But then she gets more of peoples point of view of them together. McKay likes that he’s sweet to her and takes her opinions in consideration. It’s a quality that is frustratingly rare. She also just assumed they were already dating from watching them interact during the bar crawl after her birthday.

Mohan is the last to hear that there was even a rumor and picks up that Javadi is really asking if she actually does have feelings for Whitaker. So she asks the simple question “how do you feel when you’re around Whitaker?”

Javadi just squeaks out “calm and serene”.

And then she spirals about having feelings for Whitaker, someone who she didn’t even realize she cared so much about until it crept up on her. So she avoids him at work and cancels the movie plans to try to take control of the situation (ie. protect herself from the possibility of being hurt)

Whitaker is utterly confused about what’s going on until Donnie fills him in on everybody knowing that he asked Javadi out. Whitaker immediately knows that Santos meddled with Princess and Perlah and goes off on her on their ride home.

For the first time, he feels nervous being around Javadi cause he assumes she doesn’t feel the same way and is disappointed that he ruined their good friendship by liking her. He avoids her as well so she doesn’t feel uncomfortable around him

Santos somehow drove the two people shes been trying to get together, further apart. Dana sees her groaning at her desk and gets her confess the mess shes put her best friends in. Dana finds it hilarious and gives her sage advice about not playing god and letting things manifest on there own.

And it does cause these two nerds obviously don’t cancel their timed practice test. Relationships and matters of the heart are secondary when it comes to making sure you graduate. But all throughout their test session at the library they can’t help slipping quick glances at each other. After grading each others exams and giving tips on which sections to focus on there’s a silence. Usually they’d shake off the academics and start chatting about any odd thing and hang out. But there’s been an acknowledgment that there’s a Them™️ and everyone else can see it. And now they’re forced to see it.

Right when Whitaker turns to leave and say goodbye, Javadi hits the “fuck it” button and asks him to see that damn movie with her. “And I mean it as a date. It doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to but I like you. It’s important that you know that.”

“I like you too. I only avoided you cause well I thought you didn’t see me like that”

“Oh I didn’t. Not until I realized how safe you make me feel. I never felt insane around you until we weren’t talking.”

They smile at each other and let out a sigh of relief. They’re finally on the same page and they’re doing something about it.

After the movie, they chat about Santos being a meddler and decide to hold off on letting her know that they’d figured it out. But they truly touched (and surprised) at how sentimental Santos about them getting together.

(I have flown too close to the sun)

[elliespeach]

tear you apart part two | ellie williams

pairing ellie wiliams x fem reader synopsis ellie owns her own vinyl store and the day you wander in changes both of your lives forever. she quickly becomes infatuated with you, desperate for your love that she believes is meant to be. when things in your life begin to spiral, ellie is there to catch you, but you'd never suspect she was the reason you fell in the first place. wordcount: 3.8k warnings: stalking both cyber and in person, ellie is obsessive, manipulative, a gaslighter, a pervert lowkey, possessive and easily jealous, shes also so delusional like top tier delulu, shes based off joe goldberg so i mean put the pieces together. this is all from her perspective, most if not all of the inner monologue is ellie's thoughts about you, the italics is verbatim what she is thinking in that very moment if that makes sense. like joe, all of her actions are justified in her mind, and she doesn't see anything wrong with them. reader has a dysfunctional family. pls lmk if i am missing something! authors note: obsessive ellie nation RISE, bit of a twist in this one hope shes yummy!!! i have plans i can not share w you yet but i am so hype for the next part, yall should be too, anyway... happy reading

ellie sat in the corner of the bar waiting for you and your friends to show up. she had gotten here way too early, but it gave her time to canvas the bar. the bartenders were swamped with orders, the band playing on the small stage were taking a brief intermission– which ellie was grateful for because she didn’t see the appeal. it was quite crowded, working in ellie’s favor. while she waited for you, her fingers were dancing over her phone any second she got. 

firstly, she checked in on you. no instagram posts, stories, twitter updates, nothing to indicate you were going out. finally taking steps to protect yourself, good girl. then, she set her focus on finding this woman. she copy and pasted the phone number into google, loading…loading…loading… god this wifi fucking sucks…

when the circle of death vanished, nothing came of the phone number. the white pages had nothing to report on, the links were dead ends and ellie sat back in her chair with a huff, annoyed by the anonymity of this woman. her thoughts were interrupted when she saw the door to the bar open and your friends and you strolled in. she slouched over, bringing her head down but her eyes remained fixed on you. shauna was the last one to come through the door, but she quickly brought herself to the front of the group and sat you all down at a table nearly across the bar. 

ellie rolled her eyes, knowing she would have to move to get closer. so she did, keeping her head down as she went through the small crowd to the other end of the bar. from this seat, your back was turned from her and she felt a little disappointed that she couldn’t see your face, but decided it was for the better. shauna immediately started to order drinks, a round of shots and margaritas on top of it. whats the occasion? 

she had to focus real hard, but she was able to make out the conversation happening. 

“okay, okay, but seriously, i have something to tell you guys,” shauna started to speak as the waiter was placing their drinks down at the table. 

“god, you’re pregnant!” dina shouted to the table, and ellie could hear your laugh clear as day. the same laugh that was used for her just two weeks ago. god, how she missed you. 

shauna scoffed, ���i’m not pregnant!” 

then you chimed in, your voice sounding sweet as ever over the rowdiness of the bar, “then whats so important? should i down this shot beforehand?” you playfully picked up the shot from the table, ready to take it and ellie’s eyes didn’t leave you for a second. 

shauna gracefully pushed your hand down, the shot back on the table and she spoke again, “i’m moving to california at the end of summer,”

the mood at the table became somber at her words, the girls looking around to each other. “sorry, what?” cat spoke up, sipping her margarita. 

ellie smirked, taking a sip of her own drink. not a bad idea, shauna. sure, she knew you would be upset and she was prepared to be there for you to get over losing your best friend, but in time you’ll realize that shauna was never your friend to begin with, she just liked having you around to boost her up. 

“like your whole family? or just you?” you asked her, and when shauna replied saying her whole family, your head snapped back and ellie could see that the shot glass you had in your hands was now empty. 

“why?” cat spoke again, glancing around the table to you and dina. 

“nevermind on why, i just want to have a good night! let’s get drunk–” she called over the waiter with a snap of her fingers, classy. her eyes met the waiters and then went to you, “another shot for my friend.” 

“give me two, please,” you spoke kindly to the waiter, and ellie’s grip on her own drink tightened. no way shauna leaving was upsetting you this much? how could it? ellie reminded herself that you had been friends with her for years, and even despite shauna being the way she is, she’s still your best friend. she wanted to give you a hug, tell you that it was for the better, but she knew she couldn’t. at least, not right now. 

the bartender took ellie out of her gaze, “another one?” he said, pointing to her empty glass. ellie shook her head no, if you were going to get plastered, she needed to make sure she was okay to watch over you. the band started to play again and it rang in ellie’s ears, making it difficult to hear the conversation at the table. 

the waiter brought the shots over, and everyone took them almost instantly. using their margaritas as a chaser, ellie’s eyes rolled again. the next thirty minutes was her just keeping an eye on you while you continued to get more and more drunk. you mumbled out that you had to “break the seal.” and you got up and stumbled over to the bathroom door. ellie could see everything from her seat, so instead of blowing her cover she stayed in the bar chair. 

ellie wasn’t a girls girl by any means, but she knew that once someone in the group walked away, the shit talking would commence. you had barely opened the door to the bathroom when shauna started. shauna, out of everyone. shes not your friend. “shes taking it kinda hard, isnt she?” 

“i’ve seen her more drunk that this.” dina laughed, keeping her voice low as if you could hear her. 

“oh yeah, the night she nearly got hit by that cab walking back to her apartment was the drunkest i’ve seen her,” cat laughed with dina, and shauna stayed neutral. 

“no but like, me leaving, shes taking it kind of hard, right?” 

dina looked to cat, then back to shauna, “i mean, yeah i guess. you’re her best friend.” 

is that a smile, shauna?

“i hate to be the one making her feel like that,” shauna pouted, now seeking the attention of her other friends. 

“no, no, it’s not your fault–” dina gushed. 

“yeah, it’s like, thats on her, you know? you can’t control how anyone feels except for you.” cat said softly, placing an arm on shauna’s shoulder. 

jesus christ, the therapy words. where did you people come from? 

before they could continue talking, you returned from the bathroom, bumping into the table lightly before sitting down. “another shot?” you asked them, seeing their drinks were empty. you had at least double the shots they’ve taken, no, no more shots. tell her no. 

“yes!” shauna said enthusiastically, ordering more for the table. when they arrived they were gone within seconds. ellie was finding it hard to hold back, she wanted to take you by the arm and walk you home herself. though, it seemed with every shot you took, your mood brightened. you were laughing, loudly, and making jokes with your friends. it seemed like you had completely forgotten about the departure of your best friend. ellie was happy you weren’t upset anymore, but the level of drunk you were worried her. 

that's until someone was standing behind shauna, and when ellie’s eyes wandered up to see who it was, she almost choked on her spit but quickly repressed it. it was the older woman and she was looking directly into your eyes, your laughter had subsided from the previous joke and you went silent, crossing your arms and shifting in your seat. 

the woman's eyes left yours quickly, and she placed a hand on shauna’s shoulder. shauna turned around, seeing the woman and got up from her seat, embracing her in a hug. “hey mom! what’re you doing here?”

mom? you’re fucking your best friends mom? ellie nearly fell off her high top seat, for the first time that night she took her eyes off of you, turning towards the bar just to take it all in. no, no, you’re a sweetheart. you wouldn’t do that, would you? ellie’s mind was racing, but her image of you never faltered in her mind because she quickly figured out just what was going on. 

your own parents leave you to move across the country and your best friend lets you move into her place until you get your own. she recalls one of your tweets she stumbled upon from a year ago,  

@yndoesartstuff: tfw ur moving into ur besties childhood home bc ur own parents dont want u

  —— @shuanamavisxx: my parents want u! adopted child frfr

yeah, they want you alright… 

shauna’s mom must have been very supportive of you, for you to fall for her trap anyway. that kind of attention from a mother must have felt good, and ellie decided that shuana’s mom knew what she was doing. prying on your own neglectful mommy issues to get into your pants. shes a fucking predator. ellie knew you were a grown woman, but shauna’s mom was clearly in her fifties, thats being nice, and she found it fucking disgusting that her mom would do that to you. and then to have the audacity to make you so dependant on her that you beg her for attention over texts. 

ellie was seething. 

and apparently so were you, because you quickly got up from the table, excusing yourself with a quick, “be right back!” trying to sound as chipper as possible, but ellie knew. 

you came up to the bar and ellie swiftly lowered her head into her phone. you were too drunk to notice, but ellie heard you order yourself yet another shot. she almost said no outloud, but refrained herself, feeling the heat in her body build up. but the bartender had her back, “you're cut off. here's a water.” he handed you a cold glass of water and your eyes rolled. 

“pleasseeee? im not even that drunk!” you fired back, pushing the water back towards him. he looked you up and down, and you smiled at him, holding up just one finger and mouthing the word please over and over again. the bartender caved, pouring you another shot. 

what a fucking idiot. 

he gave you the shot, which you took almost instantly. you stumbled back to the table with your friends, shauna’s mom still there making conversation. and ellie turned to the bartender, “are you blind? shes wasted,” 

the guy shrugged, “shes a good tipper.” 

ellie scoffed, turning her attention back to the table. 

“so wait mom, why are you here?” shauna asked, sitting back down in her seat. 

“i’m actually on a date,” her mom smiled, making quick eye contact with you before doing so with dina and cat to not seem suspicious. she pointed to a table near the band and when ellie looked, it was a man that sat at the table. 

“its not a date if you’re married,” shauna rolled her eyes, a laugh slipping out with her words. she turned and faced the man at the table, waving passionately at who ellie assumed to be her father. ellie was sick just watching, and she couldn’t imagine how you felt. she’s just taunting you at this point. 

ellie could see you shifting uncomfortably in your seat and soon enough you pulled out your phone. since your back was to her, ellie could see your screen was blank, but you muttered, “sorry gotta take this guys,” before you got up and left the bar, putting the phone up to your ears as if you were actually on the phone.

they let you leave without a second thought. don't they see how drunk you are? she was on her feet, pulling her wallet out of her pocket to put a twenty on the counter before storming out of the bar herself. she glanced around once she was outside, it had grown dark but she could spot you from a mile away. 

you were trying to wave down a cab, way too close to the road for her liking. you were crying too, and ellie’s heart sank at the sight. while waving down a cab, you checked your phone, the bright screen nearly blinding you as you did but your fingers were quick to type. your feet kept going as you typed to try and keep yourself up right, you were swaying and teetering all around the sidewalk. all of the cabs went past you, not wanting to pick up a drunk girl who might vomit in their car. your phone fell out of your hands as you were trying to type, landing harshly on the sidewalk and ellie stepped forward just a bit, ready to lie her way out of how she came to find you like this. 

as you bent down to pick up your phone, a man got it before you could. he held it out for you and as you went to reach for it, he pulled it away at the last second. because of course he did. there was only about five seconds of back and forth between you and this guy before ellie’s feet started to jog over to you. she heard the tail of the conversation as she approached. 

“...i’ll give it back if you agree to have drinks with me.” he spoke in a ragged voice, he was head to toe in dirt and grim. typical male, its disgusting. you didn’t deserve this.

“no, just give me my phone!” you shouted back at him, words slurred to oblivion. 

ellie didn’t waste a second. “she said no, man.” she came to your side, putting her arm in front of you to block him. she saw you stare at her out of the corner of her eye but she kept her focus on the guy. 

“a guy can’t try?” he said with a small laugh, still holding your phone out of reach. 

“if shes saying no, then take the fucking hint.” ellie could feel herself getting angier, the heat in her body rising to her cheeks and her one fist balled up by her side. she doesn’t want to think about what would have happened if she wasn’t here, but her mind plagues her with it. im your hero. and this guy is about to fucking die. 

“maybe i’ll keep it, sell it for some money,” he taunted, examining the phone like a douchebag. ellie had it under control, she knew this guy would cave eventually, at least one way or another. but you had other plans and when you tried to reach for the phone in his hands he slapped your arm away. 

ellie fully stepped in front of you, her jaw tightening as she did, and the guy continued to run his mouth. “what? this your fucking bitch or something?” 

she didn’t even think about it, her fist coming up strong and squaring this guy in his nose. he stumbled back, dropping your phone to the sidewalk yet again. she shook her fist in pain as you quickly grabbed your phone from the ground. his nose was bleeding and he was clinging to it like he was going to die. 

you were laughing, which is the last thing ellie expected. your laughter was ringing in her ears as the guy started to get back up, very slowly. “shit, c’mon!” you laughed again, way too drunk, but you did something else ellie wasn’t expecting, you took her hand and started to run in the opposite direction. she obviously followed you, sprinting beside you down the streets of new york until it felt like a good amount of distance had passed. 

turning one last corner you both slowed to a stop, you were trying to regulate your breathing as ellie checked around the corner before turning back to you. “you okay?” 

“i’m-i’m great,” you sighed, still catching your breath. youre still drunk. way too drunk. “you look so–” 

“let me take you home, you’re drunk,” 

“i’m not drunk and i know you from somewh–” 

“you are drunk, at least let me get you a cab,” 

“the vinyl store!” 

shit. “oh, oh yeah, i remember you.” ellie stammered out, hoping your level of drunkenness would hide her stumble. 

“ellie, right?” you slurred and ellie nodded her head, “oh shit, thats what i kept forgetting to do, i need that album you recommended me!” 

ouch. if you didn’t have the day you’ve had, or better yet, the past two weeks, ellie would be more upset. was our interaction that forgettable for you? no, it couldn’t possibly be, you were flirting with me. and now you stand here telling me you forgot about me? she tells herself it’s because you’re drunk, you’d never say these things to her if you were sober. 

“come by anytime for it, it’s no biggie,” it’s not like i made sure it was perfect for you within the hour. 

“how about now?” 

“no, no the stores closed and you should get home,” ellie knew you would persist, she just wanted to see it. 

“please,” you dragged out, putting on the prettiest smile you could. “i’m not that drunk, plus i could use the pick me up.” 

ellie smiled, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small key. “you’re lucky i carry this with me,” she said with a light-hearted laugh. “it’s only a few blocks this way, can you make the walk?” 

“jesus, i am not that drunk!” you laughed along with her, starting to walk in the right direction. “look,” ellie watched as you started to walk in a straight line, arms out to keep your balance. 

you stumbled a bit, and you definitely weren’t walking in a straight line. you’re adorable. “wow, i’ve never seen anyone more sober.” ellie mocked you while you regained your balance. 

“thank you,” you replied, ignoring her sarcasm and you returned to walking normally beside her. “what a coincidence you ran into me.” 

“yeah, really weird, huh?” ellie faked a laugh, stuffing her hands in her pockets and keeping her eyes forward. 

“well, i owe you for helping me out,” you held out your phone, which was now cracked. “and for the album.” 

she shook her head, “nah, you don’t owe me anything.” 

after a few more minutes of walking the store came into sight, sitting between two large buildings, the closed sign burning red in the window. ellie pulled the key out of her pocket and started to unlock the door, with you happily standing idle behind her. 

she held the door open for you to go in first, it was dark inside and the smell of wooden boxes was pungent. but as ellie stepped in behind you and flicked on the light switch, the store came to life. “wait here, it’s in the back.” 

ellie went through the beads into her back office, searching around in her desk until she found it. it was sitting next to the red thong she had swiped from your apartment and when she pulled the vinyl from the drawer and spun around, you were right behind her. “it’s seriously creepy back here,” you took notice, looking around the small room while ellie slammed the drawer shut. 

you weren’t wrong, and that’s why ellie had asked you to stay up front. the paint had begun peeling off the walls years ago, and the room was only lit up by a bare bulb at the top of the room. “this where you keep your victims?” you joked, dropping your voice and toying with the papers on her desk. 

“not here, i got somewhere else i keep them,” ellie returned your joke, although she wasn’t exactly joking. but you don’t have to worry your pretty little head about that. “here, pink floyd’s best album at least, in my opinion.” 

you gracefully took it from her hands, examining it before looking back to her. “thanks,” anything for you. anything. 

you both wandered out of the back of the store, and ellie could sense that shauna’s mom was still plaguing your thoughts. you had gone quiet, staring longingly at the album in your hands. “you wanna tell me why you were so upset before?” she asked casually, flicking off the light in the back room. 

you sighed, “i’m a mess, that’s all.”  you leaned against the counter and ellie positioned herself behind it, just like how we met. 

ellie didn’t mind that you wouldn’t open up to her, to be fair you both were still basically strangers. strangers that flirt. strangers that save each other from themselves. 

“relationships suck,” 

“how’d you know it was about that?” 

ellie blinked, think, idiot, think. “well i mean, you got wasted and you were crying. i kinda just took a guess,” 

“you got me there,” you laughed, taking in a deep breath. “people never change, i can’t seem to get that through my head.” 

“the right people will,” was all ellie replied with, a small smile appearing on her face. 

“yeah, yeah you’re right.” there was silence for a moment as you both held eye contact before you broke away with an embarrassed smile. 

“you deserve better than whatever this asshole is putting you through, you know that?” 

“you don’t know me,” you said shyly, the drunkenness wearing off. “i could be horrible and deserve it.” 

“i highly doubt that,” ellie knew what you were thinking, if she only knew i was fucking my best friends mom. ellie didn’t care, she knew who you were. if it wasn’t for that borderline predator, you wouldn’t be in this position to begin with. she wanted you regardless. she needed you regardless. 

“yeah well, thanks ellie. i should get home, like you said i’m a little drunk.” 

“a little?” ellie laughed, earning a scoff from you.

you playfully pushed her shoulder back, “i can hold my liquor, thank you very much!” 

ellie ordered you a cab to take you home, she would’ve walked you home herself but you insisted on a cab, not wanting to bother her. ellie would end up at her usual spot across the street from your place anyway, so she didn’t fight it, knowing she would see you soon. 

she glared up from the sidewalk while you shut your door behind you, pulling your cracked phone out of your pocket. it didn’t take long for you to throw it to the couch with a huff, probably an unanswered text from shauna’s mom. ellie sighed, she would have hoped your little run in with her would have lifted your mood but as you sat down on your couch, slowly starting to cry once again, she knew it was a lot deeper than you were letting on. 

you won’t be upset for much longer, i’ll make sure of it. 

-------

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ taglist: @aouiaa @kissmxcheek @mcqsx @spaceshipellie @strgrlxox @machetegirl109 @uraesthete

[otakusheep15]

Twisted Wonderland x Wicked

The winner of the poll I posted! Sorry this took so long, I've been busy with school lol.

I didn't mention this in my Hatchetfield post, but this is less of an AU and more of a "What if NRC had a theater program and did this show?" I'll also be giving more explanation this time around instead of just making a cast list!

Elphaba: Malleus Draconia

Where should I even start with this one? They're both green, sad, and lonely. They have physical differences that make them come off as scary to "normal-looking" people and they have powerful magic they don't really know how to control. On the inside, they're sweet and caring and very loyal. They're both very intelligent and observant. Like Elphaba, I think Malleus would fall in love easily if given the chance, both with friends and potential lovers. Both have an issue with anger management and both have complicated family dynamics. The similarites can honestly go on and on but I think I've made my point by now.

Glinda: Cater Diamond

This might be a hot take since I know a lot of people cast Glinda as Vil, but hear me out! On the outside, both Glinda are bubbly and nice, making them very popular among peers. That being said, they are also both vapid and vain, making it difficult for them to make any lasting relationships. I think Cater would react to Malleus similarly to how Glinda first reacts to Elphaba, making fun of him by pretending to be kind. I also think Cater as Glinda makes sense because of Glinda's character arc, as she learns to be less self-centered and open up to others. I also just really like the dynamic between Malleus and Cater and I think they would be good as leads together.

Fiyero: Kalim Al-Asim

This was honestly the most difficult role to cast, as so many characters can fit Fiyero, but also no one really can. I was also considering Floyd, since he has the most similar mindset, and Leona, since I think he could pull off the emotional and romantic parts the best, but after talking with a friend, I think Kalim suits the role the most. Like Fiyero, he has this sort of "why bother trying, let's just party" vibe going on. He doesn't care much about school and he instead chooses to focus on living life and partying. He's closed off about his real feelings, choosing instead to put on a more approachable, laid-back vibe in order to attract people while also keeping them at a distance. He and Cater have a fun dynamic in canon already, and that would translate well to Glinda and Fiyero's dynamic. Malleus and Kalim don't have too many interactions, but I can see it working in the context of this story. I think Kalim's version of Fiyero would be a bit kinder but still joking, and he would kill "Dancing Through Life" better than anyone.

Nessarose: Riddle Rosehearts

Part of me just thought this would be funny because of her name, but after thinking, I do have a few actual reasons. For one, a sibling dynamic between Malleus and Riddle just makes sense to me. Nessarose does also remind me a lot of Riddle, especially in act two. She tends to be self-centered, partially because of favortism growing up, but also because of the resentment she has for Elphaba. I think Riddle matches Nessa's vibe of a somewhat niave person who uses that niavety to be mean. I also think he fits that obsessive vibe she gets towards Boq, and I also think he'd play her well when she becomes govenor of Munchkinland.

Boq: Ace Trappola

This is mostly just me pushing my AceRid agenda, but I think it can work. It's lowkey funny to me for Ace to have a crush on Cater, but I can see it happening in a story like this. He has that same goofy, kind of awkward vibe Boq gives off in act one, but also that anger and drive we see in act two. Ace leading the witch hunt works well, as he's always known to be on the front lines when it comes to a fight. His dynamic with Riddle works well here too, as their relationship in-game is very complicated but still interesting, much like Nessa. I can see him befriending Riddle (Nessa) as a joke/because of Cater (Glinda) but feeling bad about it because, deep down, he is kind.

The Wizard: Dire Crowley

There's always those schools that cast staff as older characters, and I can definitely see NRC pulling this move. I tried so hard to think of a student who could fit this role, but no one can play THe Wizard like Crowley. For one, this fits well with the theory that he's secretly Malleus's father, which makes me laugh. Besides that though, this fits well with other theories that Crowley is secretly behind the overblots like how The Wizard is behind the animal's being mistreated. He's also very eccentric like The Wizard, and he'd absolutely kill when using the floating head The Wizard uses.

Madame Morrible: Mozus Trein

Again, very similar vibe to Crowley playing The Wizard. I think he'd fit that older, more experienced teacher who very obviously has favorites. He's kind and takes care of his students, but he's selective about who he shows this side to. I can see him developing a sweet relationship with Malleus before the big reveal, and I can also see him working with Crowley behind everyone's back. I also think that, out of everyone, he'd be a decent manipulator, especially for someone like Cater.

Doctor Dillamond: Lilia Vanrouge

I almost went with someone else, but I just cound't stop thinking about this. In-game, Lilia is the one to take Malleus in and give him a home. In Wicked, Dillamond is the first person to show Elphaba genuine kindness. Lilia is the oldest of the students, and he's very wise and knowledgable, so him as a history teacher works well. I could also see him playing up the emotional aspect when Dillamond gets taken away. I also think Lilia would enjoy getting into costume for Dillamond, but that's not very important to the character.