#in order to function

[skylarkblue]

"i'm not increasing your dosage of the one medication that helps your condition, you're on too many medications already" - dr who clearly thinks it's fucking funny when i can't function because i am in excruciating all-over body pain

[umblrspectrum]

part 4 of a lot funnier in my head than on paper

[give-bucky-his-boyfriend-back]

Average Sam and Dean Team Up:

Dean: Hey let's take on this case which forces us to work through our current emotional problems since we're both too repressed to talk about it

Sam: Hell yes

Average Cas and Dean Team Up:

Cas: So...you're telling me I have to wear this cowboy hat as a disguise

Dean, totally unbiased and not being bisexual about it in any way whatsoever: Yes it's absolutely essential

Average Sam and Cas Team Up:

Sam: So we have to fight this llama that shoots lasers out of it's eyes, what seems like the most logical sollution?

Cas: Oh that's easy, we'll just have to transform you into an even bigger llama that shoots even bigger lasers out of it's eyes. That way you can defeat it.

Sam: Great! I'll look up the spell. Also don't tell Dean

[girderednerve]

the theory of law that says it matters a lot what the particular text of a given policy says, what loopholes the specific language might leave, &c., is best described as "LSAT prep" or perhaps "wishful thinking." the actual practice of the law is not a rhetorical exercise, it is a power negotiation; these executive orders are written to signal clear intention to judges & create chilling effects for people who are bound by the law but not empowered to interpret it. the viciously transmisogynist executive order signed yesterday says "at conception" because it's a popular phrase among people who oppose abortion, & the violent repression directed at trans women is connected directly to all other attempts to subjugate women as a class, not least by suspending safe, legal access to reproductive care

[hughesybear]

inside your NHL team there are two goalies. one of them routinely invents new ways to injure himself. the other one just has an awful immune system. you are the Vancouver Canucks

[david-talks-sw]

Dooku didn't leave because of the Jedi.

At least, if you're going by George Lucas' word.

In deleted scenes of Attack of the Clones, when we learn about Dooku's departure and his values, there's no mention of the Jedi or "the Jedi Order as an institution".

And every time Lucas refers to Dooku's disenchantment and reason for falling, he doesn't mention the Jedi.

"When you realize that Dooku is Darth Tyranus, it explains what Darth Sidious did after Darth Maul was killed: he seduced a Jedi who had become disenchanted with the Republic. He preyed on that disenchantment and converted him to the dark side, which is also a setup for what happens with Anakin." - Mythmaking: Behind the Scenes of Attack of the Clones, 2002

"[Dooku is] one of the few Jedi who became disenchanted with the Republic and left the order and he is leading a separatist movement." - Vanity Fair, 2002

"I wanted a more sophisticated kind of villain. Dooku’s disenchantment with the corruption in the Empire is actually valid. It’s all valid.  So, Chris plays it as, 'Is he really a villain or is he just someone who is disenchanted and trying to make things right?'" - Starlog Magazine #300, 2002

He probably meant the Republic/Senate in that last one, but you get the point. And you're seeing the pattern, right?

Dooku's problem isn't the Jedi, it's the Republic.

He's become disenchanted with a system that - according to Lucas' prologue in the 2004 book Shatterpoint - worked for 1,000 years...

"For a thousand years, the Old Republic prospered and grew under the wise rule of the Senate and the protection of the venerable Jedi Knights."

... but has been rendered ineffective because of 1) senators becoming corrupt and 2) corporations gaining political power.

"But as often happens when wealth and power grow beyond all reasonable proportion, an evil fueled by greed arose. The massive organs of commerce mushroomed in power, the Senate became corrupt, and an ambitious named Palpatine was voted Supreme Chancellor."

That's the message Dooku runs on, when he rallies the systems to form the Separatist Alliance.

"By promising an alternative to the corruption and greed that was rotting the Republic from within, Dooku was able to persuade thousands of star systems to secede from the Republic."

The Jedi aren't really a factor in his decision to leave.

Why would they be? Their political status isn't very high, they're virtually powerless, as illustrated by the film's narrative and stated repeatedly by Lucas.

On the contrary, as we already established in this post, Lucas full-on confirmed that Dooku actually carries the sympathies of most of the Jedi. Again:

Most Jedi agree with Dooku, ideologically.

As far as the Jedi are concerned, the politicians are effing up the Republic, and it sucks because the Jedi see this but aren't allowed to interfere in the political process. They have to resort to looking for loopholes in their mandates to actually get stuff done.

That's what that whole "she's a politician" scene is meant to hint at. In the commentary of Attack of the Clones, Lucas uses a similar turn of phrase as he does with Dooku.

"[This scene gives us] a chance to talk a little bit about politics and the Jedi’s disenchantment with the political process, due to the corruption and the ineffectiveness of the Senate." - Attack of the Clones, Director’s Commentary, 2002

Considering all this, it becomes clear that the intended narrative surrounding Dooku's decision to leave the Order is not:

"The Jedi are dogmatic and asleep at the wheel except for Dooku, who is ahead of the curb and sees the system is flawed, so he left."

It's actually:

"ALL Jedi see the system is flawed, Dooku's the only Jedi who decided to take it a step further and leave the Order so he can try to get into politics himself and change things."

That's why they hesitate to accuse him of murder.

That's why in an earlier draft of the Attack of the Clones script, by the end of the second act, Mace STILL has his doubts that Dooku would sign a treaty with the Trade Federation to attack the Republic.

As far as the Jedi are concerned, Dooku is out there fighting the good fight, making noise because whenever they try to protest it falls on deaf ears... until his betrayal on Geonosis.

After all, let's not get it twisted: the Dooku we're introduced to in the films and The Clone Wars, isn't really just Dooku anymore.

He's Darth Tyranus.

A point Lucas makes sure to highlight in his Shatterpoint prologue:

"Unbeknownst to most of his followers, Dooku was himself a Dark Lord of the Sith, acting in collusion with his master, Darth Sidious, who, over the years, had struck an unholy alliance with the greater forces of commerce and their private droid armies."

It's not about doing the selfless thing for Dooku, anymore. He's knowingly part of the problem.

He's all about ambition, now. His personal goals are things like overthrowing Sidious and becoming the most powerful Jedi.

"[Anakin's] ambition and his dialogue here is the same as Dooku’s. He says “I will become more powerful than every Jedi.” And you’ll hear later on Dooku will say “I have become more powerful than any Jedi.” [...] It is possible for a Jedi to want to become more powerful, and control things." - Attack of the Clones, Director’s Commentary, 2002

"If you put two Sith together, they try to get others to join them to get rid of the other Sith. [When revealing the truth to Obi-Wan], Dooku's ambition is really to get rid of Darth Sidious. He's trying to get Obi-Wan's assistance in that and help in that, so that he and Obi-Wan could overthrow Sidious and take over." - Attack of the Clones, Commentary Track 2, 2002

Y'know? Selfish things.

Dooku - like all other Sith, and like the very corporations and Senators he had sworn to destroy - is consumed by his own greed.

[hoseok-mytoereads]

this is just… uhm. wow.

clearly i can’t function like a normal human anymore…

*5 mins later*

M HOLY LIVING FUCKING LORD SOSIEJWJJS WHAT IS THIS AIOSODKDKD HOW COULD YOU SIDKSKSKD WHY DID YOU JWJSJDKDJ I’M NEVER EVEREVEREVER GONNA GET OVER THIS BECAUSE OMFG…. i have just melted into the biggest puddle you’ve ever seen. this subby jimin with this reader with this situation with this author writing it… is the definition of perfect.

Since I’m in lovvvvve with Jimin being all subby… may I please request reader sucking/edging jimin off until he begs for her pussy🔥🙈

Thank you and I love youuuu happy jihope month 💜🫶🏼

HI JAZ ILY 🥺 i kinda cheated a little bc my brain...... really wanted to write fleshlight porn idk i have no excuse. but i hope this still gives you what you were looking for 🥰 stan sub!jimin forever and ever !!!!

~taking jihope drabble requests all month!!~

pairing: sub!jimin x dom!reader wordcount: just over 1k but i won't tell if u don't contains: subbbbbby jimin, reader is pretty soft w him 🥰, edging with a fleshlight hehe, orgasm control/denial, crying, quick mention of brat taming, one face slap, dumbification if u squint, mentions of ownership, teasing, BEGGING, noona kink (sorry 🙈), unprotected sex, jimin comes immediately, we love him anyway

~*~

Jimin’s got his mouth dropped open, tongue lolling out, showing off the places where he’s soft and pink the whole way down.

Eyes closed, lids flickering, keeping time with the pace of his hips. Twitching, shaky, humping up into the toy in your hand as you work it over his cock. The slide is easy, his shaft slick from his own mess of precum and the thick squirt of lube you prepped him with.

There’s a loud squelch for every sloppy pass of silicone down his length, a dirty fucking sound, but Jimin is too gone for the sour-shame shivers that drew his nipples up tight when you first started pumping him. He’s chasing the feeling entirely now, all animal. Brainless.

You want to take him in your mouth and bite down– on the fat muscle of his tongue, the weeping head of his flushed-dark dick, everywhere.

Chew him up and spit him out, pretty baby boy.

“Y-yeah,” Jimin pants, tongue thick in his mouth. “Oh, fuck.”

The muscles of his thighs roll and flex as he fucks himself closer, his cock rabbiting up into your grip, strokes punctuated by desperate little whines, wet gasps. His voice is wrecked, wrung out with pleasure. “Just like that, fuck, fuck–”

All at once, you pull the toy off and watch as denial crashes over Jimin like a wave.

He collapses against the bed, a shattered groan torn from the back of his throat. Shivering, hips still jerking with enough force to smack his useless cock against the flat plane of his stomach, like he’s trying to get himself over that so-close edge untouched. His balls are drawn up tight, surely heavy and aching with pent-up release, enough that a fresh, fat teardrop of it leaks from his slit.

When you drag your gaze back up his body, you find more tears glittering at the edge of his lash line.

You shift up to straddle Jimin’s spread, shaking thighs as his hips finally still; you’re so turned on you may very well be dripping wetness too.

“Are you going to be a good boy now? Not a little brat anymore?” you ask softly, and he nods, bottom lip twisted between his teeth.

“Use your words.” You know he’s not too far gone for it.

“Y-yes. I will,” he sniffs. “Be so good.”

It’s so easy, the pliant way he moves when you grab his jaw with your hand, tilting his chin up to force his gaze to follow. Doesn’t even flinch at the slap you deliver to his cheek, just because you can.

“Then tell me who owns you.”

“Noona does,” that sweet little broken voice mewls.

“Yeah? Who does your cock belong to?”

“Noona,” Jimin answers as you tighten your grip on him again, pressing the blunt edge of your nails into the smooth, soft skin beneath them. “To noona. My cock belongs to noona.”

“That’s right, baby. It’s mine to do whatever I want with. To play with for as long as I want, hmm? Even all day?”

“Love it,” he gasps. There’s a flush to his skin all over, blooming hot want; his chest heaves with it. “Love it when you play with m-my cock all day. ‘Cause it’s y-yours.”

“Aw, baby.” That deserves its own reward. “You are a good boy, huh?”

His fingers twist helplessly in the sheets when you flick a thumb over the brown bud of his nipple, just once. It kicks through him like an electric shock, you can feel it, his hips bucking up between your legs.

“Yeah,” he whines. Reiterates, “‘M yours.”

So fucking perfect. “Why don’t you tell noona what you want, then?” you purr.

A tear drips down Jimin’s face as he breathes his confession like a sinner. Like he’s ashamed to even ask for it, good boy that he is. “Want noona’s pussy.”

“Is that right?”

All it takes is your thighs spread a little wider for you to sink low enough that the folds of your cunt kiss his glossed-wet shaft. Jimin outright moans when you roll your hips, dragging your pussy along his needy cock once, then again.

“Just like this, baby?” You move slow for the delicious slide of him over your clit, and it’s torture good enough to have you both leaking slick.

It takes Jimin three tries to get the word out. “Inside,” he finally whimpers. “Want in, noona.”

“Yeah, you wanna fuck me? Is that it?”

A sob wracks his chest as you keep grinding your slit on him, slow-burn sparks popping in your gut as he loses it beneath you. “Please, noona. Wanna come, wanna fill it up, be a good boy. Please let me in.” He’s babbling, spine arching up like his body’s pleading too.

“Oh, baby,” you murmur. “How can I say no when you ask for it so pretty?”

Jimin’s shuddering like a plucked string, as if every inch of him is hovering on the edge of indulgent blackout pleasure. He’s still begging, an endless pleasepleaseplease drooling out over his tongue until you finally, finally line yourself up to the fat head of his cock and let him stretch your pussy open.

You’re halfway down his shaft when he gasps, “I’m coming.”

“Good boy,” you rasp, greedy for it now as you take him entirely. “Give me what’s mine. Did so good, saved it all for me.”

You can feel the hot pulse of his cock squeezed tight by your walls, pouring out thick spurts of cum, giving back everything you worked up in him. Tears spill down his face, the sweet fucked-up relief kind, like his whole body is shattering to pieces, coming all the way apart.

Jimin takes his time with his long-denied orgasm, his hips shoving up in twitchy aftershocks until he’s worked his way through the last of it. His cock throbs, spent and empty inside of you.

“What do you say, baby?” You reach both hands up to swipe your thumbs over the tear tracks on his face.

“Thank you, noona,” Jimin breathes, his voice softer without that raw edge of need coloring his words. He nuzzles his cheek into the palm of your hand, smudges a kiss there too. The creases under his eyes deepen in an afterglow smile, all the desire shot through him now replaced by the molten warmth of praise.

“You know the rules.”

You tip forward to grab your small purple bullet off the nightstand, then let it drop carelessly onto Jimin’s torso, where it tumbles down to rest in the hollow dip beneath the swell of his ribcage.

“Keep that pretty little cock where it belongs and make noona come, too.”

[beaft]

wish it was more socially acceptable to just... stop talking. not forever, just for a while. sorry. no more words today. all used up. don't bother asking me questions because all i will do is stare at you

[pestopastaenjoyer]

“Advance takes place before both adventure games!!1!!11” my brother in Christ. If this was supposedly set before sa2 then why would Sonic stay Super in space by himself for DAYS & come back w a solemn expression before smiling at the player to congratulate them for beating the game

[tototalksleague]

"Something dark clings to me—has always lived in me. You brought it to light, Jhin."

[gideonisms]

I truly deeply feel like I've died. I fear my body may soon decide for me that I need a day off no matter how much vitamin c I take and how strict I am about eating 3 meals a day and sleeping enough

[nyxelestia]

one of my favorite things about ATLA is how often they have to randomly nerf Sokka specifically to make an episode work...because otherwise he'd just solve it or prevent it from even happening in the first place

Need Aang to get captured by Zhao? Make Sokka sick.

Need to make Toph and Aang struggle to communicate? Sokka's stuck in a hole.

Need the Gaang wandering aimlessly in the desert? Sokka's tripping on cactus juice.

The show had to make Sokka the comic relief character because that was the only way to justify him being subject to absolute nonsense just to take him out of the plot.

He's too powerful and the writers knew it.

[spilling-blood]

I srsly cannot stop thinking about this panel. How long has Fyodor been trying to get to Atsushi? The shit with telling Shibusawa about him, the stuff with the bounty, the three way phone call with Agatha and Fitzgerald, him fucking with the Moby Dick as well. It also makes me wonder too because there had to have been a way to just scoop him up waaaaay earlier. But instead he has done so much and created this absolutely apocalyptic scenario, pushed him to the brink, and THEN showed up, with imo very intentional body language and presentation. The running thread in the background of this entire series so far was Fyodor stalking Atsushi and now they are face to face finally.

[creepychippy]

My best Friend @the-new-ghost-in-this-hotel and I did an Art Trade together- uwu

Mauve (the young Teen Bot OC) belongs to him and Raymond (the Babysitter OC) to me- uwu

[kagooleo]

i finally finished my riley shrine! it's best viewed on desktops (with firefox specifically) so it might look wonky on mobile devices 😅

this also serves as a soft opening of my nekoweb site! it's my personal blog outside of social media, and atm I have to do a Lot of transferring to and from my neocities, but at least my pages are still functional!

[chevaliermalfets]

My Fair Lady (1964) // 30 Rock (2006)