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genshin-impacted · 4 years ago

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empress of the first water // Zhongli x Reader (3)

Word Count: ~3.5k

Palace/Harem Imperial Drama AU: You are a princess, soon-to-be-Empress, and Zhongli is the teacher invited by the royal court to show you the ropes before you ascend to the throne after a royal tragedy.

Notes: female!reader (she/her), Zhongli/Reader, Zhongli POV, mutual pining!!!!, slight Amber/Reader but if you squint your eyes it can be platonic, crams my favorite tropes into one fic so yes... subtle touches and wearing his coat

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Chapter 3 Synopsis: Names hold a lot of meaning, for they carry also with them the weight of the emotions behind them.

The names and nicknames from the soon-to-be-Empress are powerful indeed, Zhongli thinks. Not a month has passed and the palace has already begun to address him by Zhongli xiansheng to demonstrate both his status as first-born and his role as the Princess’ teacher. There is no need, to be honest, for the entire palace to refer to him as that title, but half for propriety’s sake and half because it is the Princess calling him by that name, it is what it is. The nobles may call him this in your presence in accordance to proper decorum, but it seems everyone else has followed in your example-- beloved as you are.

Disregarding the nobles, you are generally well-liked within the palace walls for your kind aristocracy that is so unlike many of the entitled nobles that reside here. The guards are evidently fond of you and the maids that are allowed in your chambers are especially doting on you (Noelle comes to mind almost immediately). It is a shame though, that in the grand scheme of politics, it is not their favor that truly matters-- though he thinks you have not placed much weight into buying favors with nobles that have never viewed you as anything more than a glorified puppet.

Zhongli takes pride in his title as your xiansheng, for what he could not be involved with academia, he is able to live a life how he would have imagined when he is teaching you. He thinks you have come to call upon him fondly as xiansheng as well, which makes the title all the more appealing. Very few people, he realizes, are able to gain a title or another name of some sort from you. He only knows this when he is escorted by Amber to the outdoor pagoda where you have invited him to tea.

“Princess, I have brought Zhongli xiansheng,” Amber says, and Zhongli is amused to hear the eagerness in her voice as well as consoled by the idea that he is not the only one greatly fond of her royal highness.

“Thank you, Amber,” you say warmly, and, behind her, Zhongli can see the way Amber’s ears redden, “quick as always.”

“Of course, my lady,” Amber says, bowing respectfully. She continues as Zhongli quietly takes the seat that you have presented to him. “Is there anything that the Princess requires of me?”

You hum. “Not at the moment, no. Except, would you like to join us for tea?”

Zhongli watches in alarming clarity as Amber’s face turns as red as the decorations in her hair. “For tea?” Amber stammers, glancing over at Zhongli, “I-I couldn’t--”

“It’s only the xiansheng, Amber,” he hears you say with gentle humor, and he thinks you don’t understand the power of your words when his heart beats rapidly at the thought that the level of comfort you have with him matches your lady-in-waiting. Though, he feels sympathy towards Amber, because he can only imagine the mix of embarrassment and elation at being invited for tea, and the intimacy that is insinuated with an invitation in front of another person.

Still, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t find amusement in teasing the poor girl with you.

“If it matters,” he says smoothly, “I do not mind. Tea is enjoyable with a certain number of people; three is indeed a fortuitous number.”

“True,” you reply immediately after, a smile in your voice. “Any more people and we would have been in trouble.”

“I-I have, um,” Amber starts, red-faced. “I have something I have to finish. But thank you for the invitation, my Princess.” She bows, her red hairband's ribbon drooping down from her head. And Zhongli takes notice of this because he begins to understand the nickname you have bestowed upon your favorite lady-in-waiting.

“Thank you for humoring me, bunny.” Zhongli doesn’t know how you instilled that much fondness into your words, but you do, your voice as warm and gentle as the morning rays of sunlight. “Let’s drink tea together later when you’re finished with your work then,” you say.

He watches as Amber looks at you with unbridled adoration and reverence before bowing deeply. If only your charisma would melt the greedy hearts of nobles, the world would know peace, he thinks as Amber walks away with her head held high, knowing she is favored by you.

“I’ll apologize to Amber for teasing her so relentlessly today,” you say, uprighting the teacups from its tray. “But to be fair, I did not expect you to join in with me so seamlessly.” You laugh. “What a pair we make.”

“Allow me,” Zhongli says, reaching out to retrieve the teapot, still warm to the touch, and pouring its contents out. “Ah, have these leaves been steeped by the maids?”

“Yes.” You say, blowing the steam from your cup. “Are they not to your liking, xiansheng?”

He takes a moment to be properly abashed at being seen like that by the Princess. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to sound unappreciative.” At the flippant wave of your hand, he continues, “It is just that I tend to steep the leaves myself according to the type of leaves to their proper temperature. I find it soothing-- almost meditative-- to perform the proper techniques, so I would not have minded brewing the tea myself.”

You take a sip of the tea and he follows after you, the liquid flowing down his throat easily and warming him from the inside. “Then perhaps I will see your technique the next time we have tea,” you say. “I’ll tell the maid to prepare it for you.”

“The next time?” He echoes before he can think of his words.

The amused look you give him is enough to make his ears feel warm. “Teatime can be a daily occurrence, can it not?” You ask teasingly, “Surely you can fit me into your busy schedule.”

(Always the playful one, he thinks fondly.)

Zhongli hides his smile behind his cup. “I suppose if it is for the Princess,” he says, “then I shall find my best to accommodate my schedule to her wishes.”

With lessons going well, Zhongli finds that the breaks in-between have grown to be one of his more favorite moments. His favorite moment so far was when he was able to delve into the history of Liyue Harbor and its trade and business. He thinks your eyes may have glazed over for a moment, but to be fair, he had expanded on the architecture, history, and influence of each type of building and boat.

But even better than the short reprises are the days you are able to extend an invitation to him for afternoon tea. For the first few sessions, you indulge him as he explains the differences between each tea leaves and the temperature in which they must be steeped in order to bring out the aroma to its full extent. He resteeps the leaves multiple times, observing how you take to each flavor, and is heartened by the fact that you seem just as eager as he was to experiment in the richness of each cup.

To reward your diligence, Zhongli requests the maids to provide him the proper equipment for a tea ceremony, including a fresh batch of tea leaves. The next time you ask him to drink tea with you, he offers to teach you how to perform yourself.

"Must everything we do be a lesson?" You tell him with a hint of fond exasperation, to which he chuckles.

“I believe you will enjoy the relaxing motions that a tea ceremony provides,” Zhongli says. “Also, no knowledge will ever go to waste, Princess; this will serve you well when you must greet guests in the future.”

“Alright then,” you concede with a small smile on your face. “What do I do?”

Zhongli stands behind you and directs your actions clearly: warm the pot, discard of the water, place the tea leaves within the teapot. "Now," he says, leaning down as you lift the newly filled teapot, "we will perform the first steeping of tea leaves. Like so…" He trails off, gently placing his hand lightly on your wrist to maneuver it into swirling the pot smoothly.

He's surprised to watch as your hands stiltedly move the pot, untrained and clumsy, which are so unlike your movements before this. Is it difficult for you, he wonders, removing his hand to offer extra instruction only for your hand to slip from its grip from the pot.

"I-I apologize," you stammer, nimble enough to catch the pot from falling. You quickly turn the pot easily in the motion Zhongli has taught you and ask him, without looking up, "What's the next step?"

Your behavior is odd but not alarming-- and the feeling is brief. As requested, Zhongli explains that you are to pour the swirled water out and begin the infusion step, filling the pot with water until it is overfilling.

"Performing a tea ceremony has been known to have a soothing effect," Zhongli says as you wait to steep the tea for a brief moment. Just as you look at him, he continues with a small, teasing smile, "Though it seems like this activity has been quite the excitement for you, from what I have witnessed."

And there is that wide-eyed look of embarrassment again.

"No, it's nothing like that," you say, watching the still water gather. "This has been very relaxing; I can see myself doing this on my own just to compose myself." You glance back up with narrow eyes that hold no real heat to them. "Though, I'm not sure if I should be pleased or not that my xiansheng has gotten familiar with me to tease me like that."

To his better judgment, Zhongli feels his ears warm at the admission of such fact, pleased as he is with it. "Ah, yes, well, I must say it is only thanks to your highness' benevolence and welcoming nature that I have the audacity to address you in such a manner."

You laugh, and Zhongli thinks he is glad that it has become a more familiar sound. "What a silver tongue!" You say, allowing him to take the pot and pour its contents into cups, "You have such a way with words, Zhongli xiansheng. I can only hope to charm others with that level of skill."

"A true charismatic ruler is a natural wordsmith-- a poet in their own right," Zhongli replies, watching you take in the scent of the tea before drinking it. "Perhaps that shall be our next lesson."

"As long as I do not have to memorize poetry--" You gape when Zhongli only looks away and sips at his tea. "No-- no, we're going to--"

"As part of the aristocratic court, you must be well-versed with prose and poetry." Zhongli says simply, amused, "I am quite fond of poetic verses, so it will be remiss to not teach you."

(You think about hearing Zhongli recite the longest love ballads to you in your small, private classroom and feel your cheeks grow warm.)

You hold your cup into your hands and absently turn it, watching the tea ripple. "My education," you tell him, sighing, "is in your hands."

The two of you enjoy the tea until the water is cold, drinking your third infused cup with as much savor as the last. With the waning moon, there will soon not be any light once the sun sets, and Zhongli can feel the cool autumn breeze dip down into colder temperatures. You have just stopped regaling the story of when you had fallen into the koi pond in your childhood when you shiver, and Zhongli thinks that no matter how much he enjoys your company in the palace garden, surrounded by glaze lilies and silk flowers, there can always be another time.

"Shall we head to the library?" He asks kindly, "Or perhaps the study?" He hears you lightly sniffle, and he smiles at the attempt to hide your affliction. "I'm sure we might both enjoy better conversation in warmer climates."

"Yes," you say, breathing hot air onto your hands, "that does sound like a good idea."

The two of you go to stand, and Zhongli shrugs off his outer coat to drape it over you, much to your surprise. And for a moment, he thinks he must have overstepped or violated a rule of etiquette (despite how unlikely that may be), but you mumble a thanks and tug the coat closer to you.

"My pleasure," he replies, walking to stand next to you. "It would not do for you to catch a cold, Princess."

"Hm…" You hum, and Zhongli has taught you long enough to know that you are distracted. He sees you raise your hand to your face, his umber sleeves following it. "You smell like oak," you remark, and he feels his face warm despite the breeze, "like freshly bound books and letters, and--"

You take a glance in his direction when he has grown quiet and your eyes widen in alarm. "-err, and, um, incense, probably. Very familiar-- from the shrine maybe?" You stammer, inching away from the pagoda, "Sorry, I just-- your coat--"

What kind of expression is he making, Zhongli wonders, for you to look as panicked as you are, as flustered as he has ever seen you. He is almost startled by the fact that this has been one of the first times he has ever seen you uncomposed. With the amount of time he has spent with you, he has been able to see the way you interact with others, and he has concluded that you are a person who takes things in stride.

With your messenger Bennett, unlucky as a person can be, you offer only kind gestures and a breezy conversation to take his mind off his tumultuous route. With your maids, you never react badly to any mistake that would have cost them their heads had they been serving anywhere else. But a dropped silverware, broken porcelain, you are nonplussed and difficult to anger when there is no reason to be. Even with nobles, you show grace by speaking to them without a hint of disdain or resentment, so they never have any chance to vilify you. If Zhongli did not know better, he would never have expected you could ever harbor ill will towards another, but he knows now that you are calm-- and if anything, your anger is icy and self-righteous in the face of prejudice.

Zhongli tries not to feel pleased about being able to see another part of who you are and fails. Still, as endearing as your embarrassment is, you are a Princess and it would be remiss of him to allow you to flounder about.

"Princess," he says, hoping to ease you from your thoughts. If anything, addressing you directly makes you retreat further, and Zhongli sees you take a step back-- a misstep-- toward the pond.

"Ah-!"

Zhongli reaches out to you almost instinctively before you even begin to fall.

If Zhongli had thought he had seen you at your most flustered, he can feel it clearly for himself. With his hand on your waist, holding you tenderly with your hands braced on his chest, you are hot to the touch, your face heating up to the point even he can feel it through his clothes. He feels your hands curl into the lapels of his shirt and the press of your body against his.

His first thought is not to apologize for the proximity or not ask for your well-being, but the fact that you were right. His clothes do smell like oak, of a forest and of pressed wood, and now, he thinks, you will smell like him.

(He does not have time at the moment to process how this makes him feel.)

It is a brief moment of infatuation-- you possess a soft scent, befitting of your gentle attitude and tenderness-- but he remembers how his heart had beat fast because he was afraid of your fall and pulls you away from him (even if your presence in his arms was a comfortable one). "Are you hurt, Princess?" He asks, scanning your arms and legs. Like clockwork, he says, "I apologize for my actions, but I had thought you were going to fall in."

You shake your head furiously, and your hands copy that motion. "No, no, I understand. I would have fallen without your help. I was just--" You stammer, covering your face with your hand. “I was just surprised, is all.”

“Are you not feeling well?” He asks, the thought coming to mind as suddenly as you turn your head to him again. He thinks it makes sense though-- your unsteady hands, your lingering warmth...

“Huh?” You squawk, pressing your hands to your cheeks, “What makes you say that?”

I should check her temperature, Zhongli thinks with concern gnawing on his conscience. He remembers cool palms on his forehead when he was feverish and reaches out to provide the same to you.

“Ah, allow me to--”

"Princess, xiansheng," one of the guards addresses the two of you, bowing deeply, providing you a moment to recompose and him a moment to retract his hand. "The further villages have informed us that there will be a storm headed our way soon; please allow me to escort you back to your chambers."

"Thank you," you say calmly. "I would like to have a word with Zhongli xiansheng for a moment, if you would not mind."

"Of course, my lady."

Zhongli watches the guard walk away as you turn toward him with your regal composure still about you, and he wonders how many times he has almost forgotten who he's talking to at times. Just as when he gently scolds you for being distracted or when he's muffling his laughter when you say something particularly witty, or when you allow him to touch you-- casually like before and intimately like the two of you were just now, he thinks that he has let his guard down around you tremendously to forget exactly why he's here and who he is serving. "Princess," he begins, bowing his head deeply in respect. When he lifts his head, he thinks he sees a flicker of disappointment on your face, but it is gone a moment later. "I apologize if I have upset you in any way with the manner in which I have conducted myself.”

The wind blows past them much more harshly than before, but it picks up your laughter, light as it has always been. “I'm not upset," you tell him. "If I minded your actions, I would simply not allow you to do them.”

He thinks back to his outstretched hand, reaching to place his hand tenderly upon your face in a show of affection not befitting of a tutor like himself and shifts uncomfortably. "Still," he says, "in retrospect, I see that it's been inappropriate how casually I act around you, which is ill-befitting of someone of your status. Perhaps I--"

"Do not let my status as royalty put a wedge in our friendship," you say sharply enough to make him clamp his mouth shut. "I enjoy your company, as I hope you find the same with mine, and I find that simplicity much too rare to throw away because of who-- or rather, what I am." You soften your eyes and continue, "I mean it, Zhongli. I want you to treat me as you normally do. I promise you I will let you know if I deem something unfavorable."

"You always have been quite straightforward," he settles, almost in resignation. When you grin, he thinks your countenance could be a weapon if you chose to wield it as such.

"Then we are in agreement with something at least," you reply. You shiver in the cold wind and Zhongli takes this chance to press his hand against your forehead when you freeze.

"You don't seem sick," Zhongli says, gently taking his hand away, "but please be sure to drink ginger tea prior to sleeping to warm your body."

"...You were checking my temperature?"

He nods. "Yes, I apologize for not clarifying. I will make sure to inform you of my intentions next time, but the thought slipped from my mind." He says, "I was concerned for your health the entire night, Princess. Do let me know if you do not feel well for any lessons in the future."

And there's that embarrassment again, Zhongli notes briefly before you clear your throat and turn away. "Yes, well, I'm fine, I assure you," you say. "I-- well, I'll let you know if I ever feel under the weather." You pause and he must stop in his tracks to wait for you before he steps onto the trails of your dress. "Thank you," you say softly, "for worrying about me."

Zhongli looks at you with the wind billowing past and the lanterns lit behind you and feels his heart tremble.

"Let us leave," you say again before he can reply. "The storm is coming."

"Yes," Zhongli says finally. You look at him again and he folds his hands behind his back to stabilize his shaking hands. "It is getting cold, isn't it?"

You shoot a grateful smile at him, tugging his jacket over yourself even more, and Zhongli follows after you, his eyes never leaving your visage.

#zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin zhongli #genshin impact #genshin impact zhongli #genshin imagines #genshin au #imperial drama au #wow its been half a month LMAO

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trickstercaptain · 4 years ago

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JACK, MASCULINITY & BISEXUALITY.

so I’ve made absolutely no secret of the fact that one of the big things I love about Jack as a character ( among plenty, plenty of other things ) is how he challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, and I’m gonna use this meta opportunity to elaborate on that and hopefully connect it to Jack’s sexuality ( mostly within his canon verses, though a lot of this does also apply to his modern verse ). the long and the short of it is that Jack is simultaneously allowed to be a badass and admirable to the audience and display selfishness, cowardice, his own quirks and his desire to avoid violence wherever possible. the first two demonstrate the perks of being an anti-hero, but it’s the last one that I’m going to talk about first: Jack does not like violence. he will choose methods of solving a problem that avoid, where possible, the use of brute force, even when it puts him at a disadvantage. he chooses not to shoot Will in order to escape the smithy in CotBP despite that proving to be the easiest way out, and he is told by Barbossa in that same movie that it’s likely the mutiny would not have happened if he hadn’t been such a merciful captain. we are encouraged to like him as an audience because he uses his wits to get out of trouble, and we are encouraged to like him in spite of the fact that he is the worst swordsman of the franchise, relatively speaking, and that he in fact loses every single fight he is a part of ( unless he cheats, which he does frequently ).

second, he is also allowed to be quirky. a lot of this links in with the idea that Jack is an archetypal trickster: he is transgressive on purpose because that is what a trickster does. he breaks the rules because it’s fun, he manipulates others because it’s fun, he gets bored easily and uses trickery and deceit to get ahead of his opponents while casting himself as a fool. tricksters also tend to have a very fluid attitude towards gender because, once again, it is another way to transgress boundaries, and there’s certainly an undeniable sense of androgyny to Jack. I’m not here to label him as anything because a) in Jack’s canon any modern ideals just wouldn’t apply and b) he is still a man and, more importantly, still benefits consistently in his narrative from being a man, so this androgyny is purely in how he outwardly expresses himself rather than the result of any internal struggle. he is experimental and individualistic and this is one of many ways in which Jack’s character draws on the rock star tradition ---- particularly the rock star tradition of challenging masculinity with the way they dressed on stage ( think Bowie, Jagger and Hendrix ).

but this sometimes effeminate expression of his sense of self does make it more difficult to be taken seriously by others, both within his own social strata of fellow pirates and outside of it: he wears kohl that, while practical, accentuates his pretty boy, fey image, he wears his hair long and braided ( which isn’t necessarily a sign of “femininity” in itself, though he combines this with tying trinkets and beads and jewellery into it ), he sways as he walks ( again, a practical response to being on a ship for long periods of time, but isn’t something that Jack ever seeks to correct in order to appear more intimidating ) and is fond of theatrical gesturing which, yes, feeds into a stereotype but means that in no way does he carry himself in a typically masculine way. for instance, the way Jack sits: while yes there are times when he deliberately kicks his feet up on the table to occupy extra space and piss people off, he doesn’t consistently sit down in a way that emphasises his physical power or dominance ---- in fact, in the last multiple Jacks scene in AWE, when Jack is talking to himself in the brig, we see one of the clones crossing his legs with his hands on his lap as he sits on the bench ---- something I would argue is rather reserved and not overly masculine in nature.

now there’s an argument to be made that Jack uses his effeminacy to his advantage, in the same way that a trickster would bend any rule that benefitted him, and that this isn’t the true him, but I’d argue that, while there is of course an element of using that behaviour to encourage others to dismiss him as a fool of no consequence, it is too consistent for it to be an act, particularly as it causes him as many problems as it does solutions. it’s absolutely in his nature. another great example I want to draw on is in The Price of Freedom, where Jack uses his “sexuality” ( I use this word loosely as it’s really the only way to describe what he does lmao ) to unsettle one of Teague’s lieutenants and jailors and throw him off, both while he’s been searched airport security style and while he’s trying to conspire with Christophe to break him out of Shipwreck’s cells.

“Roger, old chum, unless you want to cause me embarrassment—and yourself a lifelong case of envy—by demanding that I actually produce the goods for your delectation…er…inspection, I’d suggest you desist.” He batted his eyes at Teague’s lieutenant.

[...] Without answering, Jack abruptly turned to confront Mortensen, who was looming behind him, scarcely a handbreadth away. “I don’t care if you’re present, Roger, but must you breathe down the back of me neck?” He rolled his eyes. “Or are you trying to work up the courage to grab me backside and give it a squeeze?” He’d spoken loudly, and his voice carried to all Christophe’s crewmen. The cell-bound pirates laughed, whistled, and jeered obscene suggestions at Mortensen.

I love this scene because it shows how Jack switches effortlessly between typically masculine and typically feminine behaviour and uses both to achieve what he wants. the seductive act of flirting with Mortensen ( despite the fact that Jack is twenty in this scene and is very likely half the age of the jailor in question lmao ) to throw him off is a very femme fatale sort of solution ( and that is an archetype that Jack plays around with a lot ), but being a man adds an element of what I spoke of earlier too ---- that he’s more likely to be dismissed as an irritating little shit and not someone who is conspiring to break someone out of the cells. he also relies on the hyper-masculinity he is surrounded by when he speaks loudly enough for all of the pirates in the cells to hear and jeer Mortensen in response, further embarrassing him and diverting his attention long enough for Jack to make his intentions to Christophe clear.

because this is the thing about pirates, friends. yes, they were largely accepting of and/or unbothered by homosexual behaviour, and had crews who operated in a far fairer way than many merchant or naval ships of the same period, but they are still male-dominated environments. female pirates are rare as far as historical records show purely because we only know for sure that a few were women. women would, for the most part, have to adopt masculine traits in order to exist in the same space, and many would and did disguise themselves as men in order to achieve this. Jack is therefore something of an anomaly in his challenge of male gender norms ---- he could act more like your typical brutish, violent male captain and have a far easier time of it because that’s ultimately the sort of behaviour that is rewarded in this hyper masculine space, but he doesn’t, and this is where he stands out and positions himself as an outsider even in the profession he had literally branded into his arm.

Jack has also been directly hurt by this culture of hyper masculinity, too. it’s clear that his grandmother sees him as an easy target for her abuse because he both struggled to and didn’t want to conform, and he faces similar criticism from Teague because of his non-violent personality. in his attempt to not become like Teague, too, Jack internalises his own anger and aggression which makes him self-destructive as opposed to outwardly destructive to others. Christophe is the most similar pirate in the franchise to Jack in terms of the flamboyant way in which they both present themselves ( and Jack is no doubt influenced by Christophe in that respect, though that’s another meta entirely ), but Jack does not share his ruthless, amoral personality. and he is mutinied against by Barbossa because people are easier to search when they’re dead. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but it speaks to the strength of Jack’s character that he remains a largely good-hearted individual when it ultimately comes down to it, and did not contort his sense of self in order to make his life easier.

so linking all of this into his sexuality, while Jack is bisexual by modern definitions of the word and does not have any shame associated with it due to the openness of pirates to living outside of the established norm ( and the fact that Jack grew up among these pirates, so would likely have not realised the extent of the prejudice that existed until he joined the merchant service and entered into civilised society ---- and I mean, when he did he was called a molly at one point by Mercer ), he was never properly taught how to have a healthy relationship with another man, whether romantically/sexually or not. Jack doesn’t really have many positive close relationships with other men to draw on ( Robby and Gibbs are of course the exceptions, and they are both extremely important ) and all of the betrayals in his life until Elizabeth come from men. moreover, just because pirates were more accepting of homosexual relations between men, doesn’t necessarily mean that pirates should be held up as paragons of healthy behaviour lmao, both in general and in regards to male on male relationships. ships are male dominated microcosms in the same way that all-male prisons are. and this is why Jack does develop one toxic male trait: the inability to express his emotions in a constructive and open way.

Jack therefore, for the most part, just doesn’t like men. he knows how to get along with them, he certainly has a brothers-in-arms approach to his crewmates and isn’t beyond liking the odd one or two, like Robby and Gibbs ---- and it is certainly a theme that Jack is drawn to those soft, non-threatening, nurturing sorts of men ( to fill a void of nurturing behaviour in his life, imo ). of course he has trashy taste too thanks to the lingering damage of his crush on Christophe and living and growing up in the sort of environment that rewards hyper-masculine behaviour, but his most successful relationships with men are those he doesn’t perceive as threatening, and those who are happy to compliment rather than challenge him in his position as captain.

meanwhile, he loves women. absolutely fucking adores them, and I don’t mean this just in a sexual way, but in a genuinely appreciative way too. he craves their company and prefers their company to men ( he is honestly so much happier sat at a table with five other women than he is sat with five other men ), and I think this is because he’s more likely to find acceptance with them than he is men, and historically speaking in his life has found greater understanding and affection and care from women than he ever has from his own sex. and I think in turn, because he too is a very non-threatening sort of man, absolutely a woman’s man like my god, is why he is generally adored so much by the women in his life in spite of his flaws and lesser traits lmao. why do Giselle and Scarlett constantly let him back into their lives?? because yes he’s fun and good in bed but, if Jack’s list of corrected lies to them at the end of AWE is any indication, he also spends a considerable amount of time just talking to them, spending time in their company and getting to know them.

#&. depths few had ever begun to glimpse ( meta tag. )#abuse tw #pirates are cool but also terrible people: the essay #i'm kidding i'm kidding #but this is where there's a disconnect between jack representing that debonair swashbuckler fiction in the way he acts #vs. the harsh reality of piracy which is violent and demands a certain kind of masculinity #and jack is in this constant state of both adhering to and challenging those male gender norms #and being shaped by and simultaneously rejecting that environment #essentially jack's relationship with piracy is a troubled one #but yes have 10 rambly paragraphs !!!! i'm just pleasantly surprised that i actually finished this one before the end of pride month lmao #i still need to address his sexuality properly in modern but that's a whole other kettle of fish

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annashipper · 8 years ago

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V For Vendetta Submission - In Response...

Anna: First of all, apologies to everyone for this submission getting rather long, but V For Vendetta, as you’ve gone for the point by point route, I’ve decided to make it a little easier for everyone reading this blog to follow the post and answering you point for point within the submit itself, instead of at the end like normal.

I’ve also marked what you say versus what @captainjcat had to say and what I have to say clearly, in order to make everything just a bit easier on the eyes.

With regards to my being “fair minded”, I’m always up for a civil discussion, so you may feel free to send me similar submissions in the future. All I ask is that you don’t make them this lengthy next time cause it only makes harder for people following my blog to go through their dashboards. Sorry this took so long to post, but as you can imagine it took me at least an hour to write this small novel of a reply to you :o)

~*~*~

V For Vendetta: Happy belated birthday Anna! I found this submission from CaptainJCat on your site and I thought I would respond to it point by point. I would have sent this directly to CaptainJCat but that site does not allow submissions. (I know you don’t agree with my viewpoint, but I figure what do I have to lose, and if you do have the courage to post something that is contrary to your ideas well then, that’s one for “fair mindedness” coming from your side) -

(Just as a note of clarification – CaptainJCat’s parts are in quotation marks and mine are identified with the double asterisks before and after.)

CaptainJCat’s Submission (with annotations in response from yours truly. :-))

@captainjcat: “That two months between TCIT and the start of Melrose he might take sometime off, but I doubt it since he’s a producer on this project as well as acting in it. There are things he’s going need to do before it starts production that he normally wouldn’t have to do it, if it he was only acting in it and he just had to prepare for a part. ”

V For Vendetta: **All of the things he has to do as a producer wouldn’t take away from family time more in likely. It isn’t as if he has to be on set for night shoots - it is more office hours work. And he isn’t the only producer of this production. It gives him creative control but it isn’t as if he is the director doing a lot of pre and post production work in the studio. Do a bit of research before you start assuming you know about TV/movie productions.**

Anna: I don’t necessarily disagree with you V For Vendetta, but you have to acknowledge that putting on the producer’s hat certainly gives him more work instead of taking things out of his plate and giving him more time to “nest”. A wish (an imaginary one as far as I’m concerned which he just thinks sounds nice) that he’s alluded to in the past numerous times.

@captainjcat: “Re: how Sophie could hurt his career. Her behavior has/can do a lot of damage showing up on a set with your own pap team, trying to worm your way into parts, embarrassing your spouse every time you’re in public, leaking stories that make him look bad and taking the focus off him and what he’s promoting to try make yourself the center of attention. Word gets around very quickly when that kind of stuff goes on and the fact he didn’t stop it, went along with some of it, if you were in charge of a movie or project that cost millions to make would you take a chance on someone like that, no matter how talented.”

V For Vendetta: **Where is there one verifiable fact that Sophie has ever showed “up on set” with her “own pap team”??!?!? Not just you projecting your own bias on events - but real, verifiable evidence that she has her own pap team??? You won’t find it because it just isn’t there.

Anna: Of course there isn’t verifiable evidence that Weirdo brought the paps to the NYC shoot. She just showed up when the paps were there taking photographs (I’m guessing called in by Marvel) and then smiled very broadly while he hung his head in shame like a whipped puppy:

After Ben was done filming for the day, Ben, Weirdo and Rent-A-Pilo took a pap walk with a paid-for pap agency and she smiled quite happily for the paps while Ben looked dismal. Since you believe Pilo is a real baby, I’m very curious to hear what you think of a mother who would happily let her baby be photographed by paparazzo in NYC while her family is being stalked by one of her husband’s fans, and smiling while doing it:

By the way, the unblurred pics of Rent-A-Pilo’s face were up for sale on the pap site for the whole world to peruse with no kill order from the Dismals from April when they were taken until after the Doctor Strange premiere.

V For Vendetta: Just like there is absolutely NO verifiable evidence that she has EVER tried to “worm” her “way into parts”. In fact, in one of the rare interviews that she has given since Ben and her were married she was quoted as saying she isn’t looking particularly towards working with him at the moment and just wants to concentrate on their marriage. She didn’t seem to rule it out entirely (it sounded like that they might want to do things in the future together) but for now at least she hasn’t got anything like that planned.

Anna: One thing I can absolutely agree with you on Weirdo is that she doesn’t seem to be in a rush to work on anything. She wasn’t in a rush to work on anything before she ended up walking red carpets with Ben and faking pregnancies, she seemed to get interested in doing some work right after Pilo’s “birth” (putting in the minimal amount of work as demonstrated through pictorial evidence:

and by the fact that she couldn’t be bothered to doing proper research to write an article for The Guardian, plagiarizing the work of Dr Moorjani instead.

V For Vendetta: As for embarrassing him in public? Like when? Give me a concrete example of her actually doing something that has been noticed in the mainstream press (just not said to be embarrassing by other “skeptics”) as being embarrassing to Ben? Again you can’t because it never happened. She is very quiet on the red carpet - staying in the background. She doesn’t have a social media presence and has only been quote in two interviews since they got married.

Anna: Oh, but I can.

If you don’t think the camera catching her chastising him during the BAFTAs is embarrassing, I’m sorry V, but we don’t have the same understanding of the word “embarrassing”.

As for her being quoted, I’m very happy that Ben and his team have done something smart and haven’t allowed her to speak to any cameras. Then we’d have a whole other level of “embarrassing” in our hands…

V For Vendetta: Even the infamous (by the skeptics) incident at the Evening Standard awards where she supposedly “stomped” off - I couldn’t find anyone to mention the moment in any mainstream media. So just how did this embarrass him?? Answer: it didn’t. He was seen smiling, holding her hand, and she was seen clapping and enjoying his presence later on. No “embarrassment. No shame. Just again confirmational bias on the part of the “skeptics” and nothing more.

Anna: Again V, we have different definitions for the word “embarrassing”.

V For Vendetta: Leaking stories - again absolutely not one shred of real evidence that SH is/was doing anything of the sort. Give me actual PROOF that she did this or move on.

Anna: Personally, I’m on the fence about Weirdo being the one to leak stories to the tabloids. However, I have to tell you that I also don’t have actual tangible proof that Trump is a megalomaniac with autocratic tendencies. I just know it’s true.

V For Vendetta: Trying to make herself the centre of attention during promotional events - again, when did this happen?

Anna: Allow me to jumpstart your memory:

V For Vendetta: I want some actual PROOF that she did this. Like I said before she is very quiet at events,

Anna: Yes?

V For Vendetta: stays in the background

Anna: Yes?

V For Vendetta: and just mainly walks beside him on red carpet events.

Anna: Yes?

V For Vendetta: In fact, I do see a lot of skeptics complain that it seems like she isn’t “allowed” to talk at events precisely because she hasn’t said very much!

Anna: That is true. Who can forget how Ben cockblocked his fiance…. errrrrrr sorry…. wife at the Oscars:

V For Vendetta: You can’t have it both ways and say that she is trying to be the centre of attention and do things that embarrass Ben and then carp about the fact that she never says or does anything.

Anna: She does do something V. She shoots daggers at him with her eyes:

V For Vendetta: It just doesn’t make any sense to take both of those “lanes”… or it makes it seem like you just are crapping all over her just because she is actually alive and not because of anything she has done. Interesting…

Anna: What is interesting to me V is the fact that you felt the need to veer from your own lane and send me a quite lengthy submission about all of the things that you think are NOT wrong with Weirdo. Which probably means that you’ve noticed the same things we’ve noticed (if not more) and you felt the need to defend Weirdo’s honour. Normally people don’t feel the need to defend the honour of immaculate people they don’t know to crazy strangers over the internet.

V For Vendetta: And finally I do agree with you that “word gets around very quickly” and that is precisely why Ben is in such demand and has such a busy schedule. He is known for being a stable, hard-working individual who put everything he has into roles.

Anna: 100% agreed.

V For Vendetta: He isn’t “tabloid fodder” at all really - he has a stable relationship with his wife, a family now and is well-liked by all his colleagues.

Anna: 100% disagreed.

For a guy who was perfectly capable of keeping his private life private before Weirdo was hired to play the part of his red carpet girlfriend for the 2015 awards season, we know a bit too much about the wedding dress Weirdo wanted to wear (something that she helped create) versus the wedding dress she actually wore (a season old, off the rack dress), the invitations to their wedding, what was served at the wedding, what was read at the wedding, the guests that were at the wedding, how they first met (such a romantic loo meeting), the house he bought, how and when he asked for her hand in marriage from her family, the fact that she didn’t really like find him attractive before they became an item (I guess she was able to see past his lizard alien face once she was hired), the fact that her brother doesn’t think Tiffany rings (like the one Ben bought for her) aren’t special enough, the fact that Weirdo took a holiday immediately after giving “birth” to Pilo with her girlfriends (presumably leaving Ben to breastfeed Pilo in her absense while rehearsing for Hamlet and buffing up for Doctor Strange), where and how they spent their honeymoon, etc.

Interestingly enough, considering how private Ben and Weirdo haven’t been since they got together to push for his Oscar nomination for 2014, there are no verified stories (and by that I mean any regular folk seeing them on the street or the zoo or at the park) of Ben, Weirdo and Pilo spending a day out and about London (or even Edinburgh) as a family. The only (unverrified) stories we’ve gotten are from stalkerina Nans on Twitter.

V For Vendetta: Only the skeptics seem to think lowly of him (accusing him of going along with fraud, of being involved with drugs, with being involved with shady business deals, of sleeping around, of hiding deep secrets that would open himself up to blackmail, of agreeing to fake his child’s existence, of lying publicly about his marriage and family - the list just goes on and on). No one else thinks this low of the man. Just the skeptics. Interesting… **

Anna: What is actually very interesting is that you’re generalizing and you’ve chosen the wrong Skeptic to send this submission to when it comes to that. Out of that long list, I personally only think he’s lying about his imaginary family life (including his imaginary son) and have made it absolutely clear time and again. As for the rest, are you counting Anonymous Submitters (such as yourself) among the Skeptics? Because, personally, I don’t even count some of the “skeptics” among the actual Skeptics.

~*~

Anna: This is the second part of V For Vendetta’s submission where she’s taking apart my answer to @captainjcat, so I’m putting little asterisks between each point V For Vendetta is making in order to make it easier on anyone reading this.

~*~

Anna: “Interestingly enough, Weirdo’s only shown up on two sets. One was the 15 minute set visit to the TAB set for Sherlock at the beginning of the showmance, and the other one was on the set of Doctor Strange. In NYC. When they made sure to book a pap walk with a rented baby later in the day. ”

V For Vendetta: **Again, this just isn’t true. First even if she had “shown up on two sets” - that doesn’t mean those are the only two - just that those were the only two that you know of. But even that is wrong. We have evidence that besides the appearance in NYC and the one that was photographed on the TAB set. Amanda A. stated clearly in a tweet that it was completely untrue that Sophie had been banned from the set (when a fellow skeptic harassed her on twitter). This was during the Season 4 shoot and she said that SH had been on set “just the other day”. And please provide PROOF that their child was “rented” - receipts please of the “rental agreement”. **

Anna: I don’t remember those tweets V. Either from or to Amanda. If you’ve got screencaps, please send them in and we can keep discussing this.

Anna: “After the first pap walk with the pram failed to be picked up by any publication. But Weirdo and rented Pilo did not travel with him to NYC and they never made it back to England with him. Because… multiple reasons that I don’t need to list at the moment.”

V for Vendetta: **But you most certainly DO have to list them! Because I challenge you to prove that she never went back to England. They were seen together after that in England and in an interview (the Vanity Fair interview) it was mentioned that after DS work was completed he and Sophie were going on vacation with Kit to Italy. So it seems they do travel together. Or are you going to claim that the reporter was part of this world wide conspiracy by the all powerful Sophie Hunter to make the rest of the world believe that her and Ben are married and have a child? That’s just silly - you do know that, right?**

Anna: I thought “passport control” and travelling with a baby that’s supposed to be Benedict Cumberbatch’s son which Ben wouldnt’ be able to calm down during a flight was easy enough to surmise yourself V. Sorry for assuming.

Meanwhile, I wasn’t talking about whether or not Weirdo ever made it back to England or not. I was talking about travelling together from London to NYC and from NYC back to London. Ben made absolutely sure we knew he travelled back and forth alone. The same way he made absolutely sure we knew he was travelling alone back to London from his LA trip in August.

Anna: “Back to the Sherlock visit, Enty made sure we found out how that turned out and in an unsurprising turn of events, Weirdo never ever ever made it to a Sherlock event again. Not even as a paying customer at Sherlocked… ”

V For Vendetta: **So what? SH hasn’t been to a Sherlocked event! Neither has Martin Freeman. What are you going to make of that!?!?! And as for “Enty” - again please provide PROOF that any of what that “person” said was true - when AA said it wasn’t. Hmm, who would know better?? AA or this “Enty” character”? Interesting indeed… **

Anna: V, try to read what I’m saying before you take the irony out of my comment and pummeling it to death.

What I said was: Back to the Sherlock visit, Enty made sure we found out how that turned out and in an unsurprising turn of events, Weirdo never ever ever made it to a Sherlock event again.

This part was the irony: Not even as a paying customer at Sherlocked…

I want you to focus. Really really really really REALLY hard and let me know: When was the last time you saw Weirdo at any event that had to do with Sherlock. Including screenings, conventions, red carpets, award ceremonies.

Anna: “Meanwhile, The Current War was filming in the UK. And filming has wrapped up without a single set visit from Weirdo. ”

V For Vendetta: **Again - that you know of. Please remember that the info about Ben’s skyping with Sophie and Kit during the making of DS never came to light until well after the fact (when MM told an international audience about it - there is video proof of his talking about it). So maybe we will hear during the publicity phase of TCW of more set visits from his family. You aren’t a “in the know” source so don’t pretend you are.**

Anna: V, if you’d bothered reading my blog for more than 2 days before deciding to send me a submission, you’d be aware of the fact that not only do I not pretend to have sources, I also do not trust anyone’s sources. Not because I don’t trust the people who have sources. Because I do not trust trolls that might be posing as sources. It’s been discussed ad infinitum in the past.

As for the Skype calls, Mads never mentioned Weirdo. Just Pilo. And it was 2 hours of skyping between an actor playing the lead in a super hero movie having his make up applied for the day and a (then) 5 month old baby. Do you see the logical fallacy there or do I need to draw you a picture?

Anna: “Or Pilo. It’s nice to think that Ben has learned his lesson and he knows how silly he looked that day when Weirdo visited the DS set.”

V For Vendetta: **Nice going - dissing a small child!

Anna: I’m not dissing a small child. I’m shaking my proverbial head at a 40 year old man that’s stooped to lying about an imaginary child.

V For Vendetta: And how do you know how Ben feels about his son or wife.

Anna: I have eyes. To the left you see Ben holding Weirdo’s hand. To the right you see Ben before Weirdo appeared on the set of Doctor Strange.

V For Vendetta: All I have ever heard him say is things like Sophie is brilliant, Sophie is a “super hero” and that he loves and misses her (I saw him actually signing that one a fan’s poster on video - now that’s proof!). I have read a direct quote from Tilda Swinton when she said that her impression of Ben was “a new husband besotted by his girl, and a new father enchanted by his boy.” You know the interview - it was the one where BC was quoted as saying that people who thought his wife and child were PR were “delusional”, “scary” and evidence of “obsessive” behaviour. Of course you folks think he is a liar and a fraud when he says thing like that - but then, you would, wouldn’t you.**

Anna: What can I say V. Nothing screams desperation to me more than Ben going on record on Vanity Fair saying “There are people who believe that my wife is a P.R. stunt and my child is a P.R. stunt.”

Like I mentioned to you earlier, normally people don’t feel the need to defend the truth or their honour to crazy strangers who discuss their crazy theories over the internet.

Anna: “It’s even nicer to think that Ben knew Weirdo visiting the set sans Pilo would make us raise our eyebrows to high heaven and that’s why they never went for it.”

V For Vendetta: **Or, once again, you will be eating your words when it is revealed that she and Kitt did indeed visit Ben when he was making TCW.**

Anna: Or, once again, I will be laughing my head off at Weirdo’s attempts to pass off a bad prosthetic as a real pregnancy.

Pleeeeeeease someone provide video of a TCW set visit!!

Anna: “Either way, I find it very very very very VERY interesting that the two times we saw Pilo were in NYC. ”

V For Vendetta: **Wrong! The pictures of Kit that I have seen are as follows - the pap ones when Ben and Sophie were walking down a street in London near their home at the time, the pap pictures in NYC when Ben was filming scenes for DS, another set of pap pix in the airport (which had Kit’s face blurred) when Ben had to do DS promo work and go on SNL (you know the same time that he said in an interview when talking about Sophie and Kit “It’s a joyous thing. I’m very happy to have them in my life, very lucky as well”) and the final one which wasn’t a pap picture at all - one at the Hay Festival (which is NOT in NYC BTW). **

Anna: Ah yes! The so private, much calling the paps couple. Let us discuss that for a second.

First pram pap walk with Pilo was done in a residential area. A place where it’s impossible to raise one’s iPhone and snap a picture of a stranger walking down the street without them noticing, but Ben (who is soooo good at spotting sneaky fans when they’re snapping pictures of him on the tube) didn’t think twice before taking out Pilo from his pram and letting him be photographed for the Fail.

Second pap walk with Pilo was done at the IOW. During Pilo’s christening. With Weirdo holding something that I really really hope wasn’t a real baby precariously, while the attentive father was walking 10 paces in front of her, talking to the guests. But yes. The paps were so determined to get pictures to Pilo’s christening, they camped outside the church for weeks upon weeks upon weeks. Because… you know… money shots.

You’ve actually missed the third pap walk which was the test drive that only made it to skeptical blogs through pap sites and anonymous sources that pointed us in that direction, where all we could of Pilo was a yellow sock. While Weirdo smiled straight to the camera of course:

Fourth pap walk was (as discussed earlier) quite clearly pre-arranged.

Fifth pap walk at Hay which as you mentioned wasn’t a pap walk at all was the blurry pic where we really can’t make out Ben’s or Weirdo’s face (much less Pilo’s) with the gigantic baby that had nothing to do with the…

Sixth pap walk which was lovely and gave us another shot of Weirdo smiling straight at the camera again (on US soil where Pilo’s face would have normally been unblurred, but most probably they weren’t able to rent the same Pilo, so no unblurred pics ever made it to our screens):

Anna: “The second time they must have had trouble renting the same Pilo, because we never got to see the boy’s face unblurred. ”

V For Vendetta: **Gosh, and here’s me thinking that the reason it was blurry was because it wasn’t taken by a pap - it was taken by person who attended the Hay Festival and snapped it from a distance. **

Anna: I am talking about the pic I just posted of Ben looking pissed off, Weirdo looking happy as punch to be photographed and Pilo’s face is blurry. Again. On US soil where pics of baby’s faces are not blurred unless the parents take legal measures.

* Anna: “Regardless, I don’t expect Weirdo to show up at the Infinity Wars set either. ”

V For Vendetta: **Well, we’ll just see - considering your track record for not being correct about these sort of things, I’m laying bets that you are wrong again!**

Anna: I really don’t know why you feel this overwhelming need to antagonise Skeptics and point out how wrong we are V. If we are so wrong, why are you arguing with us?

Anna: “The one main reason being that RDJ doesn’t play when it comes to calling out his buddies on their fuckery via twitter. I’m sure Hiddles’ name is still reeling from that. ”

V For Vendetta: **So when RDJ starts telling stories about how excited BC was about becoming a father again, will you still think he is so all-fired honest? Or will he join Mads M, T. Swinton, S. Derkison, M. Gatiss, Amanda A., Sue Virtue, Louise B., and countless others who have talked about the sweetness of BC and his being a father and husband, as being part of the “fuckery” and “in” on the big conspiracy that only the “skeptics” can see? I’m laying bets that when he does (and he will) the skeptics will suddenly be 1) disenchanted with RDJ all of a sudden, or 2) will be scratching their collective heads, once again, wondering WHY in the world would RDJ say such a thing!!!!!

Anna: Oh V. Ben, an actor, acting excited is not the same thing as actually being excited. But yeah, if Robert Downey Jr starts telling stories about Ben skyping with a 5 month old for 2 hours straight while on the set of Infinity Wars, I’ll start worrying about his sanity.

V For Vendetta: Stay “frosty” and keep an eye out for future “fuckery”!!! LOL!

Toodles! **

Anna: I only wish you could stay as frosty as I am V.

Happy trails and thanks for the birthday wishes! :D

#V For Vendetta anon #submission

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