#in my heart your safe and loved by sue and tommy

[cloggedarteri]

just watched carrie (the 1976 one) for the first time and id really give anything to see carrie, sue, and tommy run away with one another in a trailer and experience life

[twinferns]

wandavision ep 6 rant

1tumblr keeps deleting as im almost done which is great!!

anyways instead of doing a super thorough reaction im gonna talk ab highlights and theories. 

THERE WILL BE MAJOR SPOILERS FOR WANDAVISION EP 6 UNDER THE CUT READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION 

- i love love love the malcom in the middle-esque style intro but, as someone else pointed out, malcom in the middle is from the 2000s so does that kind of hint at the fact that wanda’s losing her grip a bit?

- OK OK so this really stuck out to me. so in the opening credits everyone was labeled as their names (wanda as just “wanda” or billy as just “billy)  but pietro was labelled as “pietro maximoff as himself” wtf as himself?? 

- why is agnes in the opening credits and her pants say “naughty” idk it’s very sus

- i really really really wanna trust pietro he’s so adorable with the twins but i just cant and ill explain more in a bit

- pietro called the twins demonspawn?? hello??

- director hayward is a piece of shit, especially with the sassy best friend remark even if he isnt a main bad guy i still hate him

- I SCREAMED WHEN WOO AND MONICA DECKED THE SOLDIERS - so what im getting from visions little adventure is that the farther people are away from wanda, the more they get all glitchy it was so fucking creepy

- so pietro’s chat with wanda. creepy bruh. he remembers being shot? but he also knows that vision’s dead which mcu pietro wouldnt know. he’s also being creepily ok with the whole “holding a town hostage thing” idk

- i dont believe a thing agatha told vision. she’s the only one who name dropped wanda, i think she’s just trying to victimize her to keep herself safe

- watching vision nearly die again was so painful

- THE CORPSE JUMPSCARE IM GONNA SUE MARVEL I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK - my main theory ab pietro is that this is the real mcu pietro, but bc everything gets transformed to fit the time period (and pietro wasnt alive in the 80s) he turned into x men pietro

- WHO IS MONICA’S CONTACT 

- i love billy and tommy so fucking much i wont see any slander on them

- i really hope wanda made the hex swallow hayward

anyways that’s all for this week ik it’s short. i cant believe i have to wait another week for the next ep

see yall then

[shawnmendesprefs]

Game on, Mendes (s.m)

Author’s Note: Hiya, this is my first time writing for Shawn and not 5SOS lol so hopefully its not trash and this turns into the first part of many for this little concept. We are happy to take requests on this account or over on 5sauceprefs so don’t be shy ;) Hope you love it! xxx

Summary: you wake up naked in an unfamiliar hotel room, only to realise that you and Shawn have just started a game that you were both set on winning.  

Word Count: 1.7k

You opened your eyes to the sun beaming in through your hotel window, your head was pounding and the little alarm clock on the bedside table was telling me that it was only 7am. Why were you even awake?

Sighing in frustration, you yanked the big comfy blanket further up your naked body and shut your eyes to try and go back to sleep.

Wait. Why were you naked?

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

There are only two possibilities here. One, you got so drunk that you couldn’t be bothered to get changed in to your pyjamas. Which may or may not have happened before. Or two, there is someone else next to you in the bed and you did the naughty. Which, again, may or may not have happened before. Although, if it is one of the two, hopefully its possibility one.

You felt your heart beat start to get faster as you slowly rolled over in the bed, your eyes still closed because you were way too scared to actually look. What if you open your eyes and there is actually someone there? Not to mention how literally screwed you would be if paparazzi caught you and mystery dude together, leaving the after party or even entering the hotel lobby. Everyone knows that if any girl and guy is seen together, they’re automatically a thing so, you know. Your manager would 100% hang you by the ears off a clothes line if you were ever spotted deviating away from your perfect image to the public. 

After your internal mental breakdown, you must have stayed as still as you possibly could for what felt like at least 10 minutes before you finally got the courage to quickly open your eyes and reveal the truth of your naked body.

Oh. my. god.

You had done it again. You must have gotten so drunk that you don’t even remember any of the events from the previous night. Well, not much after presenting an award at the EMAS to Shawn Mendes, the absolute dream boat, and then leaving to attend Post Malone’s after party anyway.

I mean, it’s not really your fault that all your favourite people were there and that the cocktails were literally on tap. Strawberry Mojitos, tequila shots, you name it really.  Turns out though, that you probably should have toned it down a bit.

There was someone else in the bed.

You couldn’t see much of him except for his dark brown curls and his toned back as he was facing away from you. Your cheeks started to get hot as you realised that you probably had sloppy drunk sex with whoever this mystery guy is. Screaming.

Moving as slow as you could, again, in hopes that you didn’t disturb this guy’s sleep, you sat up so that you could peak over and hopefully recognise his face. His hair was kind of longer on top, his jawline was so sharp it could probably cut you and he was super-hot even when he was fast asleep. 

As you moved your face a little closer to his, for whatever reason you deemed appropriate in the moment, you accidentally screamed when his eyes shot open and stared back into yours. Yes, screamed. High-pitched, may have just seen a ghost, screamed.

It was Shawn fucking Mendes. You couldn’t help but mentally high five yourself, you go girl.

Without even thinking, you rolled out of bed and started to pull back on your dress from last night. In the process, you had realised that this was not your hotel room but probably Shawn’s as there was a big black suit case with clothes sprawled everywhere in the corner of the room. Your suitcase was white and your room was SO much messier than this. You’re both totally staying in the same hotel though, thank god because now doing the walk of shame wouldn't be so shameful after all – as long as no one spotted you.

Next to your phone on my nightstand was your clutch and your room key, so you quickly swept them up and made a bee line straight for the door, but of course, the stupid thing had a lock on it.

Fiddling with the turn-style look, you went to yank the door open only to have it slammed shut from behind you.

You turned to see Shawn who was trapping you between him and the door, his hand pressed against the door behind you.

He had a very amused look in his eyes and a stupidly attractive smirk on his face.

You had to remember to close my mouth to stop myself from drooling over his naked torso, his bottom half only covered by a pair of white Calvin Klein’s. You still can’t believe you had sex with this guy, you, the Victoria’s secret model, who actually had a secret now because you had seen the Shawn Mendes naked amongst other things.

Despite being quite proud of yourself, you never do this kind of thing. Sure, it has happened maybe once or twice but usually your schedule is so busy that you don’t even have time to sleep. You’re always travelling for work, and when you’re not on set for a shoot or walking a runway, you’re usually tucked away in a hotel room studying or writing assignments for your university degree. You’ve have been modelling with Victoria’s Secret for two years now, and most recently you’ve scored gigs with Tommy Hilfiger, Chanel, and even Coach. You’re pretty much an angel in the streets, and usually an angel in the sheets. But, as you said before, last night was just too good to pass up.

“Going somewhere, Babe?” Shawn teased, making you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, obviously. Could you maybe step away from the door so I can go back to my room?” you replied which for whatever reason made him laugh a little.

“C’mon babe, at least let me get your number” Shawn winked.

Okay but seriously this guy is so sexy.

“If I give you my number, will you let me leave after that?” you questioned, making him grin as he nodded his head and handed you his phone. You opened up the contacts, typed in your number and saved it in his phone before quickly handing it back to him. Without another word, you opened the door and headed down the hall towards the elevator so you could go die of embarrassment in the comfort of your own hotel room.

“I’ll see you for round two tonight, princess!” you heard Shawn call, just as the elevator door shut.

What the hell have you gotten myself into?

------------------------------------

It has been two days since your little encounter with Shawn and you hadn’t heard anything from him since. He had followed you on Instagram and Twitter but that thankfully went unnoticed by both of your fan bases. There also hasn’t seemed to be any paparazzi shots surface so you’re very grateful for that because as a result, your ears are still intact and your wonderful manager Krystal has no idea.

Admittedly, you did stalk his socials and both of you are still in Spain for the time being. He’s performing here tonight, and you have a shoot with Vogue Spain in the next couple of days before some much needed time off.

You were currently sprawled out on your towel at the beach. The sun was shining down and this dose of vitamin D was exactly what you had been craving. You had your air pods in your ears blasting some Khalid and a fat tub of cut up fruit next to you to snack on because you were literally hungry 100% of the time.

It’s a hard life having what seems like multiple stomachs to fill.

Trying to stop yourself from falling asleep, you rolled over on to your stomach and picked up your phone to reply to some comments on Instagram. Before you clicked on your most recent post, you quickly took a photo of your legs with the beach in the background and uploaded it to your story. It was a beautiful day and your beautiful followers deserved to see your debatably beautiful legs at this beautiful beach.

Clicking on to your activities page, your comments on your most recent post were blowing up. Why is that? The first was just a photo of you on the EMA red carpet, nothing too special. The second photo in the same post was you handing Shawn his award. Both of you with shit eating smiles on your faces. You had also thrown in the cheeky love heart eye emoji with “what a night” as the caption. So maybe you did know what all the commotion was about, but it was just a little flirt. Sue me.

Clicking on the comment section, you couldn’t help but spit out the grape you had just popped in to your mouth after seeing the top comment.

shawnmendes: it wasn’t just the award I scored that night ;)

Okay. It’s official, you were so screwed. And not just literally. Maybe your ears weren’t as safe as you thought they were, Krystal was going to go crazy and you were going to end up on a clothesline in Spain somewhere. 

Shawn just pretty much told the whole world about the night you’d spent together and for some reason, after putting the grape you were about to scoff down back in to my mouth, you could not wipe the smile off your face.

You really were trying to keep it cool, act as if him not reaching out wasn’t phasing you but who were you kidding. After you got over your lovely hangover, the night that you and Shawn spent together came flooding back and you’re almost certain that you hadn’t stopped thinking about it since.

After you liked Shawn’s comment on your post, you debated with yourself over whether to actually reply or not. You could already hear the stupid rumours circulating, and you could already quote some of the hate tweets that you’d start to receive.

Fuck it.

Y/Nstagram: @shawnmendes what happened to round two?

Game on, Mendes.

[lazaroschamberger20]

Homegoing: A novel Audiobook

[Audio Books] Homegoing: A novel Audiobook by Yaa Gyasi

Winner of the NBCC's John Leonard First Book Prize A New York Times 2016 Notable Book One of Oprah’s 10 Favorite Books of 2016 NPR's Debut Novel of the Year One of Buzzfeed's Best Fiction Books Of 2016 One of Time's Top 10 Novels of 2016

“Homegoing is an inspiration.” —Ta-Nehisi Coates 

The unforgettable New York Times best seller begins with the story of two half-sisters, separated by forces beyond their control: one sold into slavery, the other married to a British slaver. Written with tremendous sweep and power, Homegoing traces the generations of family who follow, as their destinies lead them through two continents and three hundred years of history, each life indeliably drawn, as the legacy of slavery is fully revealed in light of the present day.             Effia and Esi are born into different villages in eighteenth-century Ghana. Effia is married off to an Englishman and lives in comfort in the palatial rooms of Cape Coast Castle. Unbeknownst to Effia, her sister, Esi, is imprisoned beneath her in the castle’s dungeons, sold with thousands of others into the Gold Coast’s booming slave trade, and shipped off to America, where her children and grandchildren will be raised in slavery. One thread of Homegoing follows Effia’s descendants through centuries of warfare in Ghana, as the Fante and Asante nations wrestle with the slave trade and British colonization. The other thread follows Esi and her children into America. From the plantations of the South to the Civil War and the Great Migration, from the coal mines of Pratt City, Alabama, to the jazz clubs and dope houses of twentieth-century Harlem, right up through the present day, Homegoing makes history visceral, and captures, with singular and stunning immediacy, how the memory of captivity came to be inscribed in the soul of a nation. 

Includes a PDF of the Family Tree

Free Download Homegoing: A novel Audiobook by (Yaa Gyasi)

Duration: 13 hours, 11 minutes

Writer: Yaa Gyasi

Publisher: Random House (Audio)

Narrators: Dominic Hoffman

Genres: Dominic Hoffman

Rating: 4.46

Narrator Rating: 4.75

Publication: Wednesday, 01 June 2016

Homegoing: A novel Audiobook Reviews

Latoya l

It was a great book, in the beginning it was hard to get into, but later i loved it. I loved how each story tied into another showing the lineage back to the motherland. How proud the African culture was, the downfall when the colonizers came, the slavery, the false imprisonment and all the way to today. It showed the kids today going back home to where it all started, Great end!

Rating: 4

Malinda Moore

Gorgeously written by the author and beautifully read by the narrator. I frequently listened to some passages multiple times just to savor the sound of the words. I would have given both the book and the narration 10 stars if that were possible.

Rating: 5

Danielle F.

I listened to this book one year ago, as part of a book club. Incredible story, one that I still think about and discuss today. The story opened my eyes to the slave trading present even in Africa and gave me further appreciation for the history of people before our time. It made me think of my own family history and how I became to be as a result of their own stories. I usually don’t listen to books, as I prefer looking at the written words. However, time doesn’t usually let me indulge as much. I found the narrator, who skillfully used authentic sounding accents, to accentuate the words wonderfully, adding an element to the book that would not have been present in the print. I very highly recommend this book, though parts would not be suitable among children (and awkward around your parents).

Rating: 5

Rachel A

This was immaculately written. I could see the amount if research that went into this novel. Presenting the different eras within Ghana/Gold Coast and the USA. I'm from Ghana myself and raised in the UK. I could really relate to Marjorie's story. That being said, the Narrator tried really hard with the west African accent but it was very off. It didn't take away at all so it was fine.

Rating: 5

Nadia R

This is a beautifully written piece of art. It encompasses the essence of Africa, dictates the horrors of colonialism and the transatlantic slave trade. The author grabs your interest from the beginning to the end.

Rating: 5

Jill A

This was a fantastic book!! I would recommend googling the character map as it will be helpful as the story evolves!!

Rating: 4

Jael R

This book is amazing, but the narration in this audiobook was equally brilliant. The accents were so wonderful and gave such a delightful, subtle taste to the storytelling. This book is a beautiful audiobook. I'm so glad I "read" it this way.

Rating: 5

Ken A

Good book and GREAT narration, very interesting story presented in an captivating way.

Rating: 4

Koretta S

I loved this book. I felt so connected to the characters as the story progressed. Such a great book!

Rating: 5

Stephanie M

A perfect, heart-wrenching read. I loved the history and the people introduced and intertwined. I have a long daily commute and it fully occupied me leaving me wondering how I even got to my destination safely - like a time warp. I found myself spending a lot of my breaks outside in my car just to continue listening and even missing the characters throughout the day. Well done!!!

Rating: 5

Related Audio Books

Small Great Things: A Novel

Original Author: Jodi Picoult

Girl on the Train: A Novel

Original Author: Paula Hawkins

Invention of Wings: A Novel

Original Author: Sue Monk Kidd

Sing, Unburied, Sing: A Novel

Original Author: Jesmyn Ward

Help

Original Author: Kathryn Stockett

Lilac Girls: A Novel

Original Author: Martha Hall Kelly

American Marriage: A Novel

Original Author: Tayari Jones

My Sister's Keeper: A Novel

Original Author: Jodi Picoult

All the Light We Cannot See: A Novel

Original Author: Anthony Doerr

Underground Railroad (Oprah's Book Club): A Novel

Original Author: Colson Whitehead

Before We Were Yours: A Novel

Original Author: Lisa Wingate

Where the Crawdads Sing

Original Author: Delia Owens

Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane: A Novel

Original Author: Lisa See

Little Fires Everywhere

Original Author: Celeste Ng

Family Business 2

Original Author: Treasure Hernandez,Carl Weber

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine: A Novel

Original Author: Gail Honeyman

Syndicate 3

Original Author: Storm ,Brick

Gentleman in Moscow: A Novel

Original Author: Amor Towles

Lincoln in the Bardo: A Novel

Original Author: George Saunders

Room: A Novel

Original Author: Emma Donoghue

Leaving Time: A Novel

Original Author: Jodi Picoult

There There: A novel

Original Author: Tommy Orange

To Kill a Mockingbird

Original Author: Harper Lee

Their Eyes Were Watching God

Original Author: Zora Neale Hurston

Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society: A Novel

Original Author: Annie Barrows,Mary Ann Shaffer

[flopostslove]

2017 ~ A year in review pt.2

JUNE

June was a month of rest, relatively speaking!  

Only one ceremony to perform for the gorgeous Anna and Kenny…

And what a blast we had, the hottest weekend of the year (full stop I think), another glorious outdoor ceremony, we all started melting slightly though and I had to lend the groom my fan as he stood there in full kilt and caboodle. 

We celebrated all things Celtic, as Scottish and Welsh roots combined; a handfasting, Quaich and fabulous reading by the Groom’s dad in his wonderful Scottish lilting accent. I was heckled by the unforgiving crowd as I told them obviously when it came to rugby…there was only one team…. but I redeemed myself as we wove through their love story and we ended with cheers and applause and just the best day!

Kev was their photographer and we caught some fabulous moments for them and left way later than scheduled because what had been a wonderful day turned into a fantastic quintessential balmy summers evening and we were loathe to leave the party, but leave we must and so at nearly 11 o’clock at night we chatted all the way home, full of the joys of such a wonderful day…. oh and the promise of another one yet to come…. I’ll introduce you to Gareth and Wayne in August!

JULY

 My busiest month ever!  8 ceremonies!  5 in 4 days. …Hold onto your hats!

The 1st day of the month (pinch punch) found Kev and I working together once again…bit of a habit this Mr T!

For the wedding ceremony of Sammi and Lee…SQUEEEEEE…. two beyond gorgeous human beings!!

Lee’s parents had been prepping their back garden for the best part of a year for their ceremony and we had everything crossed for a perfect summers day…we got it!

We had such a laid back and chilled day with a couple that were up for anything. I know that their wedding photos certainly captured their fun personalities and their insistence on including us in their wedding breakfast was gratefully received. It was a long but such a brilliant day, as we had to wait for the sun to set to try and get the perfect sparkler picture! Despite the mozzies trying to eat me we achieved it with the help of some of the bridal party.

Sue and Colin tied the knot a few days later in Felixstowe at the Orwell Hotel, oh we had such a giggle, especially as Colin is originally from the Black Country & I being a Brummie, could not resist the temptation to slip into a bit of local lingo part way through the ceremony.  Love has no boundaries, it’s fair to say that our two lovebirds found each other later in life and bonded over a mutual love of all things! There really is nothing that these two can’t debate or share or take an interest in and I know in each other they have found a new lease of life. They really are soul mates who have found their own equilibrium and now each other. A truly beautiful love story that I was privileged to play a small part in bringing to life.

  Sara and Tommy, their story should be made into a film, it had me in tears. Injustice and joy in equal amounts, how they met, fell in love, married, got torn apart by circumstances and had to endure a long distance marriage for the longest of times before being reunited on Christmas day…forever…We got to celebrate in proper transatlantic style as we welcomed a little bit of America to deepest darkest Essex and one of my favourite venues, Crabbs Barn.

I taught the Americans about Brown sauce and they taught me about fabulous cowboy boots as Tommy and Sara got to celebrate their anniversary in style with a ceremony they never really had when they first got married.

Boy… did those tears flow and a beautiful family inspired sand ceremony topped the day off as two did indeed finally and properly become one.

Welcome to Blighty Tommy…have you learnt the offside rule yet?

 My ‘mad’ weekend kicked off with the wedding of Dawn and Matt at Captains Wood Barn, in the beautiful woodland clearing. It was a bittersweet celebration of love and family as we remembered someone very dear who could not be there in any other way than spirit. I know you did him proud though Matt.

The kids behaved beautifully and some stunning photos captured the poignant moments of the handfasting and jumping the broom and the kids got to join in with it too…so sweet

 We were running slightly late due to the Bride’s transport not turning up, but the hairdresser saved the day by bringing her and her maids to the ceremony in her old VW camper van…phew.

The sound guy had a suspected heart attack whilst setting up, so some frantic calls were made to get that sorted as the paramedics attended to him (luckily heart attack ruled out, but he still had to go to hospital) and the heavens threatened to open part way through the ceremony, but luckily the rain held off until we were all safely back in the barn…. phew AGAIN! 

  No such luck though as I made my way across to Nicola and Jason’s venue. Danbury Country Park…Only 9 miles away, the difference in the weather was rather stark…it was excellent weather for ducks!

The heavens literally opened as the bride made her way to the ceremony area in her open top horse drawn carriage resplendent in her 50’s dress and beehive up do…Luckily they had had the foresight to erect a couple of gazebos for protection as I dived under one to conduct the ceremony…They stood under their wedding arch with an umbrella and it all went swimmingly…literally!!! 

We had such a laugh, torrential rain was never gonna dampen our spirits and as per usual, when faced with adversity there is nothing like rising to the challenge!

 The carriage had a roof that was hastily put up ready for their trip back to the farm for their party and everyone left, slightly damp but with the biggest smiles certainly a wedding day they will never forget… and anyway, it’s good luck if it rains on your wedding day anyway…right?

Well the following day, the weather was still being resistant to my charms and was alternating between sunshine and showers…. We were aiming for an outdoor ceremony at Marks Hall for Helen and Matthew, but the weather gods were certainly not playing ball and after much umming and ahhing we had to plump for an indoor ceremony ��2 hours later than scheduled due to the seating having to be rearranged and the registrar squeezed in for the legal’s…

A beautiful snowy owl flew in the rings and with a bit of revision the ceremony went well but all of the choreography went out of the window…. Being able to think on your feet is a major priority for all celebrants…Stay calm, there is always a Plan B or C…

They concluded their ceremony with the tying of a fisherman’s knot, an unusual take on the handfasting idea.

Two cords represent each as an individual -encompassing all of the unique and special gifts they bring to a marriage.

As the cords are fastened together, the actions represent the joining of two lives into one common purpose. Although the fisherman's knot is one of the simplest to tie, it is also one of the sturdiest. As stress is applied, the knot becomes ever stronger just as a marriage should!

 Monday saw me wending my way back into Suffolk and Christchurch Mansion in Ipswich, the honour of being the first celebrant at the venue did not go unnoticed… by now I had given up on the weather being anything other than what it was…. Normal for England in July…bloody horrible!!

But we enjoyed a fabulous ceremony as Jessica and Billy tied the knot with a handfasting in another fabulous historic venue. I’d met this lovely couple over a year before at a wedding fair, with her mum.

We had got chatting about what I could do as a celebrant and their eyes just lit up…They did have a registrar booked but were finding themselves being so restricted they were resigning themselves to not quite having the day they wanted…. Well it all changed in a heartbeat and they got exactly what they wanted!  Billy and Jess were absolutely wonderful to work with as we created their dream ceremony. I love it when a plan comes together for all involved and love wins.

  Sophia and Adrian rounded off the month for me. Mr & Mrs Pocket Watch and Petticoat had a weddingfest  to remember, in a field on a farm with a proper pucker festival vibe going on. We had singing, we had dancing, we had such a blast, and this was during the ceremony!

Live music during the reception, food and drink stalls, and a chilled out vibe that so complimented them and their families. Luckily we managed to complete the ceremony before the rain kicked in, but again, the bride was of the opinion, ‘so what, rain just means everyone stays in the tipi to dance the afternoon and evening away, win, win’!

A gift of a rose to the children with promises to love and cherish them, singing, dancing and an all round happy glow…magical….

AUGUST

I had to do a Sundance for Zoe and Patrick’s big day, it absolutely tipped it down in the preceding couple of hours and I thought we were going to get drenched at our fabulous riverside venue. But literally as I pulled up in the car park the sun came out and shone all afternoon, my wellies were rather hot and sticky in the end, but given the amount of rain we had suffered that week I thought they were a prudent and essential piece of kit, hey ho.

 Zoe and Pat are in a band and I was (still am a bit) well jel to know they know Dave Gahan and the rest of Depeche Mode in person, having toured with them a couple of times!  Our Greek twist on the Polish Bread, salt and vodka ceremony went down well and they managed to avoid hitting the guests with their shot glasses as they threw them over their shoulders, hehe.  I loved all the little touches they incorporated to keep their guests happy and entertained as they partied the day away. 

 Another first at a new venue, Tudor Barn saw Kelly and Ben kick off their married life with a lot of football references and a ref’s whistle.

We had everyone join in with the brides brothers favourite hymn as a child in tribute to a much love family member who is no longer with us…AND we even had the hand actions much to everyone’s delight and mirth.

I can admit it now, as I don’t think the groom is on FB…wellllll…Kelly and I cheated…just a little bit when it came to their version of the bread and vodka ceremony…She insisted I told her which shot glass held the vodka before the ceremony started, hehehe…she was determined to be the one to drink it!

For those not familiar with this ritual, a couple share bread so they won’t know hunger, place a speck of salt on their tongue so they wont no bitterness in their marriage. Then they exchange a silver coin each so they won’t know poverty in the marriage and finally…2 shot glasses are placed on the table, one contains vodka, the other water. The couple don’t know which is which and chose their glass blindly. Whoever chooses the vodka, rules the roost. A bit of fun, especially when once drunk the shot glasses are thrown over the shoulder and disposed of (luckily we use plastic ones so no damage to the environment caused)

Pauline and Sarah had a cracking handfasting ceremony at White Dove Barn in Suffolk, a beautiful intimate venue where friends and family joined them from all over the world. Having reassured Granny that their hands being tied wasn’t some weird 50 Shades of Grey homage, we giggled our way through the rest of the ceremony and I had a photo with someone who was dressed in a ‘louder’ outfit than me…and that takes some doing I can tell you!

  I had a very busy weekend next with a trip to Hertfordshire and London for 2 ceremonies. Firstly a windy ceremony under canvas at the Robin Hood and Little John just outside of Stevenage for Rebecca and Darren.

His gran presenting the groom with his granddads flat cap at the end of the ceremony was the sweetest of gestures and ensured that he was with us in spirit throughout the ceremony and indeed for the rest of the day.

A quick drive into London and to a rowing Club on the bank of the Thames for the most challenging of ceremonies!  Gareth and Wayne, 2 gorgeous human beings whose photographer very nearly got a mouthful from me! She got between us, was taking photos over my shoulder and then got tangled up in the balloons causing the ceremony to grind to a halt as we untangled her!!

I was given free reign like never before in the adlibbing department and I had people screaming with laughter as the boys tried to upstage one another and I had to call order. All in good taste and humour, but they certainly had me thinking on my feet!

Now… Gareth and Wayne, by their own admission … are somewhat prone to the odd argument or two…so I thought, to be on the safe side, we would include a truce bell ceremony AND a first argument box! 

The truce bell was rung during the ceremony by them both and then was to be used to, in the event of an argument, call time out so that they could go into

separate rooms and calm down a bit before CALMLY talking through any issues.

 If this wasn’t enough on its own they had a bottle of wine each too, and a love letter…to remind each other of who they were and why they had fallen in love and got married in the first place!  A great couple of fun elements to add to the ceremony indeed!

 It was a very interesting afternoon and evening as I stayed on to be Mistress of Ceremonies for the boys. The cake needs a mention on its own, an amazing creation, it looked just likes a piece of modern art and my photo doesn’t do it justice! Tasted fabulous too!!!

Carly and Ben had a wonderful chilled out handfasting at the Museum of East Anglian Life in Stowmarket. Carly was glowing and the love was palpable. Everyone crying and smiling in equal measure and I HAVE to say my all time favourite entrance and recessional music choices…Coldplay A Sky Full Of Stars and Paradise…I was in musical heaven!

The bride wanted to acknowledge how important her granddad was to her and worried the entrance might be a bit too long a walk for him we decided that she would enter with her nephews but pause at the top of the aisle next to her granddad and give him a big kiss. The whole family just melted at that point and I must admit I had a bit of a tear in my eye too. I just love the little twists that we can incorporate into a ceremony that makes it perfect for each couple.