#in my defense i rawdogged it

[kdsburneraccount]

took a wonderlic test out of boredom and i scored a 32 fade me

[nightcolorz]

i read through a few of your recent asks and it got me on an armand defense blender so here we are. & i thought about doing this anonymously but then decided to rawdog it so fuck it. this is probably gonna be ridiculously long but i have Thoughts + i have a feeling if anyone will understand it's you (also i'm too much of a coward to make my own post on this topic)

ANYWAY the way some people in this fandom treat armand is actually like... vile. it goes hand in hand with the whole "reducing louis to a victim and nothing more" thing which you talked about and i want to expand on allllll that because jesus christ some of this shit

people have been talking about how armand is Literally The Worst Ever for two years now and that has really imbibed into to the fandom. i mean i was affected by this as well, i went into the books expecting the Worst from him but it wasn't nearly as bad as i had believed it would be (though tbf i am also biased here, i saw armand in a tiktok edit like a year and a half ago and autistically imprinted on him for a long while before i even watched the show. he can do no wrong ever actually)

but that mindset of "oh you thought LESTAT was bad wait until you meet ARMAND lmfao" (not flaming anyone for that btw, i'm pretty sure even i've jokingly said that at one point) has really poisoned him to the fandom. i fully get book readers being wary of him and overanalyzing everything when it comes to him but it's often the show only fans that are the worst culprits and it's a bit out of hand honestly

after s2e4 i legit saw a person say that they don't believe a word that armand said about his backstory and that he probably made up marius and all the abuse he suffered because he wanted "sympathy" (very pointed quotation marks on that one) from louis and to manipulate him. and it would've been bad enough if those were the words they used but instead they were downright horrible about it. i genuinely had to put down my phone and take a few deep breaths after reading all that. like why would you even assume that? i really hope that's not how that person treats real life victims because holy shit

and like I DON'T GET IT!!!!! people just loooove to apply malicious intent to armand in situations where there is none and i don't get it. this is the series about complex, shitty vampires and yet some people still shove them into boxes like Irredeemable Abuser Who's Just Horrible All The Time (armand, lestat), Perfect Innocent Victim Who Can Do No Wrong (louis, claudia) and Pinnacle Of Neutrality (daniel)

and the person from earlier was a die hard loustat shipper and stanned lestat and whatnot and like i'm sorry but only one of these characters has committed dv atp and it wasn't armand. why is armand the scapegoat here? (it's because he comes in the way of loustat) (also i really don't like flaming individual people for their opinions but i feel like this is vague enough that it gets a pass + this one genuinely made me want to bang my head against a wall)

people are just not equipped to deal with 3 dimensional characters because not only can they not accept that armand is not a cartoon villain that is Unequivocally Evil and some machiavellain mastermind but they also can't accept that louis is a shitty person. you can be a victim and a bad person. you can be a victim and toxic and abusive. like.. the way louis is treating armand is not okay and people shouldn't be afraid to accept that. HE'S A BAD PERSON THEY'RE ALL BAD PEOPLE THAT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINTTTT

and if people are bothered by that then this is not the show for them

personally i am glad they made louis actually be undeniably shitty this season it made me like him even more (& i say undeniably but people will still deny it like their life depended on it lmaooo). and i am also glad that they managed to really humanize armand for the sane of us because this portrayal of him and his character and personality is just *chef's kiss*. assad GETS HIM and all his little nuances and autistic swagger

yeah anyway uhhhhh people stop immediately assuming the worst of armand challenge (impossible) & i could keep going for another 7 paragraphs but i fear i've waffled on enough i am really fucking frustrated with parts of this fandom send help

(also like, hate armand if you will but hate him for actual things he has done lmfao stop making him something he's not. if you hate him for what he did to claudia, fair enough you do you i can't stop you but jfc some of these people)

YESSS GO OFF 🙏🙏🔥🔥‼️‼️ U or anyone else r so so incredibly encouraged to put ur steaming hot Armand takes in my ask box that ur too scared to post urself for fear of back lash! my Armand apologist army will eat it up and I will shield u from the masses ❤️❤️ consider urself protected and embraced solider.

but anyways, ur so right omg say that shit. The “if u think lestat is bad wait till u see armand he tortures people and does animal cruelty and frankensteins kid heads onto adult bodies lol all Lestat does is graphic domestic violence Armand is like crazy fr” meme has done irreversible damage to this fandoms comprehension skills it’s wild 😭 like due to two years worth of bracing themselves for mega evil Armand we have people spouting the most disgusting insensitive takes about sexual violence I’ve ever seen said so casually in a fandom 😭. I don’t think I’ve come across the post ur referencing tho *holy shit*, even in a fictional context “this person must be lying about being assaulted” is an insane thing to say with ur full chest, but I digress. I’ve seen takes where ppl r saying Armand was trying to emotionally manipulate Louis by talking about being repeatedly raped as a child and like ?? 😨😨😨. Excuse me😭😭 genuinely what the fuck. That’s the same thing as saying Claudia was trying to manipulate Louis by telling him about when she was repeatedly raped, like that is genuinely a fucked up thing to say😭. I don’t think it’s irrational to be weary of Armand’s actions at all because of course we were all bracing ourself for his betrayal so it’s not unreasonable to suspect he has ulterior motives, but it’s both dumb and also fucked up ngl to assume that literally every thing Armand does or says is two sided, especially when there has been nothing in the show besides fandom speculation to suggest that this is the case with him😭. It’s such a shallow, dumb assumption to go “oh this character is two sided so therefore he is never ever sincere at all”. Especially since Armand isn’t two sided bcus of non complex villainous intent, his motives and his lack of trust or loyalty for people or consistent, reliable behavior is very trauma based. I always like to say, he’s not like a snake, he’s like a reactive former fighting dog. A reactive dog can and will attack you without warning at any moment, but a reactive dog is so often disproportionately violent and unreliable because it’s learned that the world is unreliable and violence is how it can protect itself. Armand isn’t rlly the schemer type, he’s more of the “lifts his head from your lap and bites your face off” type.

I think that if the show was trying to suggest that Armand telling Louis about how he was raped was emotionally manipulative that would have been a fucked up and insensitive thing to write! and the fact that ppl r interpreting it that way without anything there to imply that is 😭 um. Woah?? It’s pretty overtly explained why Armand tells Louis his backstory, I’ve talked about it before but, in that scene prior to the backstory dump Louis is telling Armand that he doesn’t feel like he knows him, and he wants to know who he really is. And in this episode Louis and Armand r having a conflict where Armand perceives their relationship as intimate and important and Louis doesn’t even really see them as “together” because he doesn’t want to open himself up to that kind of vulnerability. So when Louis explains to Armand why he doesn’t feel as close to him as Armand does, Armand decides to be vulnerable with louis and tell him about who he is (and why he is the way he is) since Louis told him that that is what he wants from him. I don’t see how telling ur partner about ur life (which is made up of constant trauma) when he tells u he doesn’t know anything about ur life and would like to know more is in anyway manipulative or deceitful. Usually when I see a take I rlly disagree with I am at least able to discern how someone could come to that conclusion, but honestly I have no idea with this one 😭. Just, dude, come on. Y’all do realize that instantly assuming wrongfulness or deceit from a scene where a character is talking about their history of childhood sexual abuse does not make u look good 😭 right? The lack of self awareness is insane 😭 I understand it probably feels uncomfortable to watch a character u perceive as a straightforward manipulator and abuser talk about being horribly abused himself in a way that’s overtly sympathetic, but I think doubling down on ur previous black and white interpretation is like kind of silly goose behavior!

until ur ask I never rlly considered that some fans might be viewing Armand as noncomplexly always in the wrong bcus they are die hard Loustat shippers, but it makes sense! It’s also even more dumb 😭 I love Loustat a lot (mostly in the books cuz the show borderline desecrated them but whateves), but the thing about iwtv and tvc is that literally every character has and will date and be with each other constantly. The defensiveness over ur ship is not necessary 😭 if ur so hyper strict over monogamous shipping that it stresses u out to see ur favs in multiple relationships in the span of a show maybe this isn’t the fandom for u 😭🙏. I think maybe this attitude is coming from a place of “I need Armand to be worse then lestat because if Armand isn’t worse then lestat then loustat will look worse then Loumand and Louis will be wrong to go back to lestat”, and like, babes 😭 Lestat has already violently beat Louis on screen the harm has already been done, if ur still clinging to the hope that lestat will be ultimately the good and right choice for Louis u r fighting a loosing battle. Ship what u wanna ship guys, u can love loustat without trying to justify it as healthy or “healthier” then Loumand . But u do look like a dummy when ur trying to vastly mischaracterize Armand for shipping reasons 😭 like c’mon now. i feel the same way about Louis being portrayed as bad making u like him more!! I’m sure I’ve talked about this, but I kind of hated iwtv s1 and a lot of it was due to how Louis wasn’t at all overtly shitty or unlikable and seemed to be mostly in the right. My favorite thing about Louis in the books is how he portrays himself as a frail gentle human-like saintly vampire who wouldn’t hurt a fly and is better then other the vampires when in reality he is really a horrible, self victimizing unempathetic judgmental asshole who only cares about morality because he wants to boost his ego and feel better about himself. AHHHH it’s so interesting and entertaining to me, I love deceitful, selfish bitch louis sm. And I’m rlly happy with how s2 is leaning into this a little more than s1 is by making Louis such an asshole to Armand!! It feels really appropriate with the former slave owner/former slave parallel translated to the former pimp/former sex slave version in the show, and the way they are fleshing out the relationships in the books and adding more context. Louis is such a great character and I like him sm more in s2 lol, let him be shittyyy!! I beg u!! It’s such a shame that a lot of fans refuse to let their faves suck 🙏

and yessss!!! Armand is being portrayed so perfectly!! Assad is the perfect Armand I am so grateful for him, he is so beautifully nuanced and complex and human. So sad some fans refuse to acknowledge that 😭

on ur last paragraph!! Yesss literally there is so much about Armand to hate so if u hate him hate him for like canon things he has done instead of twisting everything he does into being non complexly evil bcus ur making the show worse for urself if ur viewing it so shallowly 😭. Armand has fucked over Claudia and Nicki and lestat and Louis, and if u hate him for that go right ahead 🙏 I hate Marius for ruining my faves life but guess what 😭 Marius is like a complex varied character and I’d sound like a straight dumb ass if I went on tumblr and tried to claim that literally everything he does is bad intentioned and evil, bcus that’s just not the case. U guys jumping through hoops to claim that Armand is always evil is like if I tried to say that Marius was actually being evil when he tried to save half the world from genocide from Akasha 😭 u know what I’m saying? Fortunately these characters r all incredibly complex and capable of like, nuanced intentions and behavior. If u can’t handle that in ur gay vampire show then I’m sorry ur going to be disappointed. God bless tho

thank u sm for the ask ur literally such an icon and I’m obsessed with u and ur steaming hot takes, everyone stands up and claps

[princesstillyenna]

ANOTHER PROMPT LETS GOOOOOOO

7. “Can you not throw your shade right now? I’m trying to get a tan and it just got chilly.” and TKNOLPATS

Vintaaaaaaagggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Rawdogging it again again as I have done for all of these. Also brb I need to go google what throwing shade is??? I'M NOT VERY COOL PEOPLE. Ohhh ok. I got it. Ficlet under the cut IG

Maybe taking Nolan down to the lake with the rest of his buddies hadn't been the greatest plan. The thing is, Nolan likes to play pretend at being a country boy, because Winnepeg isn't exactly a metropolis, but the fact of the matter is, he was born with a silver hockey stick shoved up his ass, and he rarely remembers to take it out.

He manages to keep most of it inside, TK can tell his biting his tongue damn hard, and TK appreciates it. TK can tell just what he thinks of TK and his 'hick' friends, it's making him feel, small, ill-educated, all the things he used to feel around Nolan before he got to know him, got to realise how much of a defense mechanism it really was.

Still, here they are, out on the boat, a few of TK's close buddies, and Nolan, kicking back beers, watching lines that are never really going to catch a bite.

He notices it first off when the first of his buddies takes his shirt off and Nolan catches sight of the tattoos. Because of course, Nolan's tattoos aren't just as dumb as the rest of them. Only difference is he got his first in a fancy shop, not a dumb stick and poke that they'd all got together after a few beers. So Nolan sneers at the tattoos, and TK hopes nobody except him notices it.

It's the third time it happens, TK can't keep his mouth shut, "Can you not throw your shade right now? I’m trying to get a tan and it just got chilly."

Nolan does a double take, and colours, far more than he wants to if TK knows him at all. He knows he hates it when he gets bright red. He mumbles an apology.

"Look," TK squeezes one of his enormous thighs, "I'm just sayin', try not to look so disgusted at all my friends ink."

"That's not..." Nolan colours even further, "I wasn't..."

TK raises an eyebrow at him, but he doesn't say anything, because he's learnt by now that saying nothing at all is the best way to get anything out of his boyfriend.

"It's a reflex." Nolan admits with a mumble, "If you, look grossed out, when guys take their shirts off, they won't think..."

TK realises, and in an instant, wraps an arm around him, pulling him close, and pressing a kiss to Nolan's bright red cheeks. "Nobody cares here babes," he whispers against his skin, "I promise you that"

[ask-the-choir]

What's your favorite snack?? Mine's goldfish or provolone cheese slices.

Vodka

Not a snack

Drugs

Not a snack

Noel

Wrong kind of snack

Fine…Oreos

There we go. Mine is probably like, rasperries or something? Like, with chocolate and stuff on them.

I like those little gummies shaped like bunnies

Those things were my childhood but right now…probably like frozen waffles or something

Do you heat them up?

No, I just rawdog the waffles- OF COURSE I HEAT THEM UP OCEAN.

No need to get so defensive! I like rice cakes. With peanut butter

Cheese and crackers :)

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

OH WAIT FUNNY STORY THOUGH, when I was venting to my mom about the sedation issue, I told her about an additional weird frustration that the dentist’s office seemed to still be urging me toward oral sedation and away from nitrous even when I made it repeatedly clear that 1) my insurance would pay for nitrous but would not pay for oral sedation and 2) I did not want to pay more than I had to. like, I said I wanted some sedation, but my insurance wouldn’t pay for what they had, so I was prepared to do it with local anesthetic alone before I realized nitrous would be covered, and when I called back going “hey actually my plan also covers nitrous, do you have that?” they’re still going “yeah we do but we definitely recommend the oral sedation you already said your insurance won’t pay for”

and I did get it through to them that I didn’t want to pay extra for oral sedation (I might regret this, but I want to at least try saving $300 first!) and I also want to try nitrous, so, there’s that. but when I was talking about it to my mom, I said something like,

“they’re acting like it’s a choice between nitrous and oral sedation and it’s not, my insurance will only pay for one of those, which means it’s a choice between trying nitrous and rawdogging reality, so I don’t see why they’re, I don’t know, trying to make me feel weird for picking nitrous”

if you’re guessing that I picked up the phrase “rawdogging reality” from the internet (Twitter, probably) you are absolutely correct, and if you also think I should have known better than to mention anything about “rawdogging” in front of my mother you are also correct but in my defense sometimes my brain isn’t, uh, super well calibrated on like...common sense? and also general knowledge and appropriateness, sometimes?

anyway that’s why I had to explain to my mom what rawdogging means

[cobrex]

I have endometriosis and I had kinda resigned myself to the bloating and pain because I've been on and off begging for anything to help with it for like 8-ish years? I've looked for specialists periodically when the pain would get bad. Reached out to the pain institute (who flat out told me they wouldn't even see me to try and help me deal with my sometimes constant pain and told me to go talk to my obgyn who was arguing with me if I had even had my surgery while I was showing her my scars).

Like I've just had to learn to adjust which is fine. But I was still in so much pain sometimes where Id have to take the day off and throw up and sleep.

I was complaining to a coworker about this and she sent me the name of an Endo Dr like 2-3 hrs away. She kept demanding I go because she found her situation unbearable and it sounded nothing like what I went through.

So I have an appointment with this Dr on Valentine's Day (cause I need to have multiple people up in my guts that day) and I'm so excited?? I'm in disbelief?

And as I've been sending them my medical records I've been learning that I had STAGE 4 ENDOMETRIOSIS AT THE TIME THEY FOUND OUT AND NO ONE TOLD ME. That the cyst they removed is like 3x the size of the rare presentation of them.

Like I've been so defensive trying to tell people that yes I know I'm fat but so much of it is swelling.

When I tell you I started measuring waist throughout the day to prove to myself I wasn't making that up, and over the course of the day I started at 38" to 47" to 42" because of the swelling.

Needless to say I'm upset. I'm excited that someone wants to help me so much. They got me in within 2 weeks of me calling. I've basically been rawdogging a chronic pain disease that does not respond to pain meds for 8 years at least.

I'm so hopeful. I thought this was just going to be my life.

[sunflowerinc]

you would think that after all these years of dealing with such intense emotions I would have figured out better ways to cope with them by now. but nope im still going back to the same self destructive behaviors/harmful coping mechanisms ive always used

[powerbottomblake]

Hi! Please. Clexa fic recs. I've been on a kick lately and I adore political fics if you have any to recommend! Thanks in advance 🙏

HI ANON I'm sorry this has taken time but in my defense I haven't opened ao3 in any real capacity in like. 2 years. And I've never bookmarked anything ever I literally rawdogged the archives the whole time I was reading there ANYWAY:

in love and war and politics  by centuriesofexistence: HERE'S THE POLITICAL AU it is EXCELLENT I haven't read it in 4 yrs but I just know it holds up Lexa Ward is one of the sexiest iterations of Lexa ever actually this is making me want to reread it (the slippery slope...i'm on it...)

More Women than Warriors by steklir: THE boarding school AU it was AMAZING again the urge to reread is very strong with me rn

(my) Destruction Within Your Mouth by KL_Morgan: I usually am not one for canon divergence but THIS one this one god! author gave the grounders the intricate worldbuilding the CW never bothered to give. I used to be obsessed with it.

There's also coeurdastronaute's Essays In Existentialism which are some of my most beloved one-shots/series