#in my defense i don't know what i am doing

[velaryoncoffee]

There's something so interesting about the timing of Book!Helaegon's children's birth that says so much with so little.

They had Jaehaera and Jaehaerys within a year of their wedding. This means they were very sexually active together around this time! You could argue it's done out of duty, sure, but Aegon reads like someone very prone to his whims and emotions, much like in the show. This might mean they were/grew passionate for each other around this time or maybe before?

Perhaps the anticipation of their wedding made them spend more time with each other, initially out of obligation, and later from fondness. Or maybe the interest they had in each other compounded over the years, like a subtle slow burn that erupted on their wedding as they realised they were bonded for life, not only in blood but also by the law of the land.

However, my favourite detail has to be the timing of Maegor's birth.

You're telling me that Helaena gave birth 9 months after Jace asked to dance with her at Viserys's family dinner? The one that had Aegon so pissed?

The possessiveness is real. You know the sex that night was wild.

Aegon will not share his beloved sister with anyone. And he'll fuck a son into her womb on their marriage bed for all to see.

If Helaena's defense of Aegon's seat on the Throne is anything to go by, she might be defensive and fond of him just the same. She doesn't come off as someone with any sense of political ambition to ascend as the Queen whatsoever; if anything she asked Blood and Cheese to take her life instead of her children's. From where I stand all she wanted was to live happily with her family, and her husband having his birth right (as contentious as it may be) was included in that vision.

Again, you could interpret any of this in many ways, in bad faith especially. Aegon could be misusing his power as a husband to impose himself on her, and her sense of responsibility, passivity and sensitive nature could have led her to go along with whichever wishes he could have had.

However I personally don't believe that was GRRM's thought process as he wrote those pages. The show depicted Aegon doing many terrible things and it tainted his already flawed character beyond even what the show writers intended. Also Alicent would never allow any harm to come to her little girl. Of that, I am 100% sure.

[greenerteacups]

Hello GT, I absolutely love Lionheart!

I published my first fic and have been dealing with some criticism; it’s not anythjng super hateful, but it’s not anything meant to make me improve either. I’ve been feeling sort of down because of it. My question is: have you ever dealt with hate or criticism before? What is your attitude towards it?

I find your work and answers on here super insightful and inspiring! I hope you have a nice day ❤️

Fuck em. Like, seriously, just fuck em. There's a time and place for writers to take critique and be strict with themselves; it's necessary for any artist to grow. That place is with a chosen group of creatives whose work you admire and whose judgment you trust. A rando on the Internet, while they may in fact be the next Marcel Proust, probably isn't. And I was raised to believe that while it's appropriate and kind to pay compliments to strangers when they're performing — just as you'd smile at a busker on the sidewalk, and or compliment a chalk artist — it's not appropriate to criticize them when what they do isn't to your tastes. They're providing you with their art for free. No one forced you to read it; no one forced you to listen. If you don't like it, it costs $0 to shut the fuck up.

Also — that thing I said about artists taking critique? That assumes that you're doing this out of a desire to improve your writing, which, while noble, is not actually a thing you need to do if you're a hobby writer. I like trying to improve; it makes me feel good. But at the end of the day, I do this for fun. I do this because in my real job, I am ruthless and self-critical and try really fucking hard to do well, and you need parts of your life that Aren't Like that. You need parts of your life where you're not worrying about whether you're Doing It Right. And living without that anxiety of critique is, paradoxically, the only way you'll find the artistic courage to take risks and develop new skills. Everyone is a little bit rough around the edges to begin with. (Not saying you're a beginner — you merely said "publish," and I certainly wrote a lot of things before I started publishing! But every artist is always trying to develop new skills and techniques; in the grand scope of things, we're all beginners.) Giving someone blunt critique when they're in the beginning phases of their journey as an artist is about as helpful as screaming at your six-year-old kid because he can't swim the butterfly.

And the thing is, these people will bluster and say "well, I'm just being honest, I'm just trying to be helpful," but like: mmmmmmno, you're not! You're not. And it's disingenuous to say so. Because if you were actually trying to be helpful, you would introduce yourself, offer your skills as an editor/beta reader, and start building the relationship of trust that grounds any meaningful co-creative partnership. People do not just accept random critique that comes flying at them from the blue nowhere. And issuing it in that form is the best way to make them hostile, defensive, and unreceptive to it. Delivering harsh feedback without a context of care and support is almost sure to fail as a method of actually changing behavior, and either (1) you know that, and are doing it anyway — presumably because you want people to know how Terribly Clever and Better At Writing you are, or (2) you sincerely have never thought about the effect that context and word choice have on how other people receive your meaning.

Which tells me you are the last fucking person on the planet I want writing advice from.

[smokeys-house]

Since the dawn of formalized armed combat there's been dudes selling their own brand of bullshit martial arts and marketing it as hidden or superior, like dueling treatises that involve the use and technique of various non weapons/uncommon "weapons," or like 80s VHS combat tutorials for divorced men with pent up aggression, it's not a new thing per se. But.

There's this guy I'm aware of who advertises "flexible tools" as superior EDC self defense. What does he mean by this? Well, to put it simply, a bit of rope with a metal bit at the end. Usually it's a round knob but lately he's been selling his little grappling hook doodads that are small enough to fit in your hand, and boy howdy some of the shit he claims they're good for truly boggles the mind.

Now, I'm no expert in the field of armed combat, but I am generally experienced and well versed in a variety of armed and unarmed combat. I know that sounds like tooting my own horn but really I'm just autistic about historical combat. Anyway there's a LOT of very good reasons why flexible weapons were never popular outside of a few small or strange examples, most of which are not... very clear on the use case scenario of such and are more given as a "wouldn't that be cool" type of example for displays of martial prowess.

Regardless, it does not take an expert to know that swinging a little metal C shape on the end of some paracord at an attacker is going to do little to nothing. Even if you confirm the hit, it's not buying you any distance or stopping power or giving you mechanical advantage over your opponent, and pain compliance is entirely reliant on whether or not you manage to somehow grappling hook a rib or something.

ALSO, consider that accessing or drawing a hook on a string from wherever you're keeping it is going to be near impossible to do in a combat scenario. Good luck and hope it doesn't get tangled lol also have fun unspooling it. He also shows off a few slashes with the lil hook before he's unspooled it to buy time but. Brother that is not how this works. That's getting you no where and maybe even getting u killed for escalating the situation with a weapon.

BEHOLD, THE ONLY ENEMY SUITABLE FOR FELLING USING A HOOK ON A STRING:

🐟 🐠 🎣 🐡

Do your research and training if you plan on carrying a weapon of any kind, don't trust social media self defense gurus.

[saudriel]

a haladriel brainrot playlist for all your haladriel brainrot needs. i swear there is a narrative thread going on here if you squint. legend has it that if you listen to this playlist in order then you too will be plagued by the Visions that haunt me 👁

alt/metal. 2hrs 40mins right now (to be continued). starts out chill and then gets heavier. there's screaming but nothing too wild. propaganda (lyrics that make me go absolutely apeshit) below the cut. not for every song because the playlist is too long, but there is still a lot so brace yourself lmao

listen on Spotify here ♥️

chokehold // sleep token

When we were made, it was no accident We were tangled up like branches in a flood I come as a blade, a sacred guardian So you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood You've got me in a chokehold

alkaline // sleep token

Every once in a while something changes And she's changing me It's too late for me now, I am altered There is something beneath She's not acid nor alkaline Caught between black and white Not quite either day or night She's perfectly misaligned I'm caught up in her design And how it connects to mine I see in a different light The objects of my desire

sun killer // spiritbox

I was born to break, shallow paradise Consumed, I ignore meteoric rise If the blade is dull, there is consequence You displace the host, there is no defense Tell me the waves won't rise And monsters will fade with time To temper the blaze with the twist of a knife A sun killer lullaby

mine // sleep token

We balance fire in the earth we walk Will never stop me reaching forth To see you again With colors over all the wasted years Eternity will bring you near I know you can see I know you can see That you will be mine

abysm // unprocessed

You showed me the world, our planet You talked to me when I was fragile You gave me back my will to focus I don't know anything, but to be with you Until we're gone to waste, I'll be there Dive into the world that we share When I hear your voice, I still know Everything is well until you're gone

everything starts and ends with you // in this moment

Nothing, nowhere, no one ever measures up No sun, no moon, no sky blinds me like you do No place, no storm, no oceans in between us Could keep me away from you Everything starts and ends with you The earth stood still, we burst alive The universe and stars align, as we collide

and the snakes start to sing // bring me the horizon

Don't say I'm better off dead 'Cause heaven's full and hell won't have me Won't you make some room in your bed Well, you could lock me up in your heart And throw away the key Won't you take me out of my head?

abandon // andromida feat. daedric

I conjure the phantom of another hollow you Then drag it to the bottom Pretending in a cycle I find sacred But I mean nothing to you Just a piece of the pattern in your ruse I spiral into chaos riptides

sanctify me // in this moment

Feel the wrath, your doom, these flames I know why you feel so empty like me Feel the force, the chaos, engage Don't you forget we are the same Go ahead, set me free Wash away this dirt in me I wanna feel more holy Take away this hurt in me Show me who I am inside your light Give me just what I need Baptize and sanctify me

antimatter // silent planet

We are broken bodies bound for each other In the impact we become antimatter The dust hasn't settled but we feel the decay Torn limb from limb I am swearing your name Our hands collide, we brace together In the impact we become antimatter

parasite // red handed denial

I know your name, so show me your face And I won't give in to your malevolence When the parasite inside my mind remains alive Left paralyzed and victimized, frozen in time Because I'm not your puppet, not your prey You won't take control of me again The parasite I'll exorcise This body's mine Cast it out, watch it die

collider // silent planet

Does it kill you to see me Under the same unfolding sky? Believe me, I have tried to search the stars for compromise But none of us are innocent, my scars are witnesses So feast your eyes and spring the trap I can still feel the daggers staring into my back Break me down to entropy Till you find the lie inside belief

hurt you // spiritbox

We are failing in crisis mode Mutually assured destruction Love the proxy and burn the bones So I smile in the snare of devotion I hope you find what you're fighting for I am happier when I hurt you Your medicine is the coldest war I am happier when I hurt you

blood // in this moment

apparition // sleep token

I hate you for the sacrifices you made for me I hate you for every time you ever bled for me I hate you for the way you smile when you look at me I hate you for never taking control of me I hate you for always saving me from myself I hate you for always choosing me and not someone else I hate you for always pulling me back from the edge I hate you for every kind word you ever said

So let's make trouble in the dream world Hijack heaven with another memory now I make the most of the turning tide It just split what's left of the burning silence Don't wait, 'cause this could be the last time You turn up in the reveries of my mind I wake up to a suicide frenzy Loaded dreams still leave me empty

coldharbour // daedric

Keep my soul in your possession I'm afraid to lose my faith If I hold on till the morning Would you claim it for me? If you kill my flesh tomorrow Then I’ll take my final breath It'll turn into a last laugh And I'll lay in a silent death

vore // sleep token

You have become the voice in my head Only recourse we're left after death Your viscera welcome me in, welcome me in My life is torn, my bones, they bleed My metaphors fall short in the end Your flesh and bone welcome me in, welcome me in Are you in pain like I am? Will we remain stuck in the throat of gods? Will the pain stop if we go deeper?

[lost-in-fandoms]

a few of those prompts that called to me:

creaky wooden gate, a pink-tiled shower, a dusty wine cellar

may or may not have squeezed all three in the same thing.

Max closes the gate behind him, making a mental note to oil it before winter hits, or they'll be stuck climbing over it once again because the hinges get stuck with the cold.

He brushes his hand along the leaves of all the plants he passes by, a silent greeting that gets reciprocated in gentle swaying, a particularly eager yellow flower bending forward to touch his cheek.

"Daniel?" he calls once he's inside the door, shrugging his coat off and abandoning it on the back of a chair.

The kitchen looks exactly as he left it, unwashed dishes in the sink, something bubbling on the stove, plants, books, scrolls and random ingredients piled on every available surface. He was not expecting Daniel to tidy any of it while he was at the market, they both had pretty much abandoned the idea of ever using their table to eat ever again, but that potion did need to be taken off the heat five minutes ago at least.

He sighs, clicking his tongue at the spoon tapping against a plate in the sink.

"Stop that," he scolds, "we're gonna get to you when we will."

At least the potion is still decent, just a little bit on the side of too purple. They'll still be able to use it, but they'll have to be careful about who they'll sell it to. No blondes.

"Daniel!" he calls again after covering the pot and moving it on the windowsill to cool, picking his bag back up and heading towards the stairs.

There's some rustling from upstairs, but no answer.

Max sighs again, knowing he'll need to put away the new ingredients before he can go check whatever Daniel is up to, avoiding the affectionate attack of the fiddle leaf fig plant trying to smack him in the face to open the door to the cellar.

Rows of glittering jars twinkle in the low light, and he sneezes as he sets his bag down on the table, starting to take down his purchases and sorting them in the different spaces, groaning every time he finds something out of place. He doesn't know why he bothers labeling everything when Daniel just puts stuff away wherever he wants to.

Wine included.

"The wine goes on the left," he grumbles aloud even if nobody is listening, unless those dead scorpions have gained back a second life.

His eyes feel irritated and his nose is runny by the time he's done and he can escape the cellar, adding a new note on his mental list to call George for that handy cleaning spell that neither him or Daniel ever successfully mastered.

"Daniel!"

Still no answer.

He washes his hands in the kitchen sink, still ignoring the annoyed dirty spoon, and then threads his way through the clutter on the stairs to reach the second floor.

It's much cleaner here, most of their work stuff relegated downstairs or in the garden, but the geraniums on the widow still wave at him cheerfully, pointing towards the slight ajar bathroom door.

Gossips, all of them.

"Daniel?"

He doesn't know what he's expecting. It could be anything, from Daniel experimenting with water lilies again, to a fully exploded bathtub, but when he pushes the door open all he sees is. Steam.

Daniel is standing under the water in their pink-tiled shower, eyes closed, hands suspended in midair.

Worry and fondness mix into Max's chest, more suffocating than the humid air, as he takes off his clothes and steps into the shower too.

Daniel doesn't move, doesn't give any indication he even noticed Max at all. Doesn't even flinch when Max reaches over to turn off the water, a cold gust of hair wafting in through the still open door.

"Daniel, hey," he murmurs, putting both hands on Daniel's damp cheeks, "come back."

Daniel's chest stutters on a breath, heartbeat rabbiting for a second, two, three, five, then his eyes snap open and he stumbles, knees suddenly weak, not sliding to the floor only thanks to Max's arms winding around his waist.

"You're back," he gasps, still blinking rapidly, wet eyelashes clumping together.

"It's been an hour," Max tells him, gently wiping his sopping hair back so it's not dripping into his eyes anymore.

Daniel frowns, looking down at his hands as if they would hold the answers his brain is currently denying him.

"I told you not to scry without me," Max says, helping him into a towel. "And you almost let the house burn down."

Daniel stills from where he had started to dry himself off, looking up at Max with a guilty expression.

"Shit, is it ruined?"

Max shakes his head, then grabs another towel for himself, shifting the conversation towards what he'd bought and seen at the market.

It's only later, when they're both in bed, the house creaking around them, that Max brings it up again.

"You were too far gone earlier. You shouldn't scry without an anchor."

He feels Daniel's sigh on his skin from where he's buried against his chest.

"I know," he says, nervous fingers drawing runes on Max's arm. "I didn't mean to, it just happened."

Max purses his lips, frowning, but decides to keep his worries for himself. He knows Daniel is aware of how dangerous it can be, to accidentally lose himself outside his body like that, and it's not worth it to talk about it right now, not when the night is deep and the moon is thin.

"It's almost time to redo the protective spells," it's what he says instead, reminded by the runes Daniel is still tracing on his skin. He will worry less if he knows that Daniel's soul is as safe as possible, even if they will still have to figure out why this accidental scrying has been happening.

"Add it to your list," Daniel tells him around a yawn.

Max adds it to his list.

[silverwhittlingknife]

hi Silver! o/ because that fanart made me wonder - would you happen to know when/where Dick's stuffed elephant plush Zitka turns up in the comics?

GREETINGS CAM <3333 THAT ART WAS SO CUTE

Yeah, I think your instincts are right - it's a truly adorable bit of transformative fandom, but I'm 95% percent sure it's not comics canon. Barbara has canon plushies, but I don't think anyone else does.

I got kinda invested in the investigation (it's hard to prove a negative!) and I ended up typing out an entire History of Elinore/Zitka, so, uh, if you're curious, meet me below the cut for:

Where does Elinore / Zitka - the animal - appear in comics?

Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?

Where does Elinore / Zitka appear in comics?

We're gonna go in chronological order!

Dick's circus elephant friend was first created for practical reasons: in Batman 436, Marv Wolfman does a big expanded flashback to Dick's circus backstory as a way to subtly show us Tim before officially introducing him (so that we can have a technically-solvable mystery-of-Tim's-identity in LPoD). In this comic, there's an elephant named Elinore who loves Dick:

Aww. Such a cute elephant!

Batman 436 comes out in August 1989. New Titans 60 comes out a few months later, in November, and guess what? When Dick visits the circus, he is suddenly surprised by an unexpected blast from the past! It turns out that even though it's been years, Elinore still remembers him!

Here's the part where Elinore remembers Dick:

SUCH a cute elephant. I love her.

(Guess who else still remembers Dick even though it was so long ago. Guess which other character is about to be an unexpected blast from the past. Guess which character Elinore is directly paralleling guess guess guess sorry everything is about Dick and Tim in my mind but I can focus I swear)

Four years later, in 1993, Batman: The Animated Series retells Dick's origin story. They like and keep Wolfman's elephant, but they change her name to Zitka:

Wolfman doesn't return to the elephant beyond those two appearances, and a few years down the line, New Titans gets cancelled and Wolfman's not writing Dick anymore anyway. So the animal gets abandoned for a while, until Devin Grayson, a fan of both Wolfman and B:tAS, revives the Wolfman-era Titans team in JLA/Titans and then the ongoing series Titans 1999.

Grayson then brings back the elephant in a flashback to Dick's past in Titans 16 (Jun 2000), where she imports the B:tAS name. Sometimes I'm skeptical of TV-to-comics imports, but honestly, I endorse this one. You lose the alliteration, which is a shame, but IMO Zitka is a better elephant name than Elinore.

Here's Dick with the newly-christened Zitka in Titans 16:

Grayson also briefly references the elephant in Gotham Knights 20 and - in a final angsty callback - in Nightwing 88 (Feb 2004), where Zitka tries futilely to comfort Dick in the midst of his trauma conga line:

... And... honestly, I think that's it for comic appearances? The two Wolfman comics plus the three Grayson comics.

Both Wolfman and Grayson are writing multiple titles - Batman, New Titans, Titans, Gotham Knights, and Nightwing between the two of them, spanning a big chunk of Dick's post-Crisis canon - and both writers use the elephant for heartwarming moments of nostalgia, which means if you're doing a post-Crisis readthrough for Dick, Elinore/Zitka feels memorable. But I don't think she actually shows up that much.

For post-2011, I am not as well-informed - throwing this out to the dash? anyone know? - but I feel like Zitka the heartwarming symbol of Dick's heartwarming circus past is, uh, thematically very at odds with the Court of Owls evil!circus vibes, so my instinct is that this story element was almost certainly dropped in the reboot.

Did Dick ever have a stuffed elephant toy in comics?

In WFA, yes; in main comics continuity, no. Technically, I have not read every comic ever published, so I could be wrong!! But I don't think so.

Below, find my rambling reasoning on the tonal vibes of pre-Crisis, post-Crisis, and post-2011, and why this particular story element doesn't seem right to me for the first two.

Pre-Crisis (...okay, mostly the Silver Age): stuffed animal, yes or no?

tl;dr no, requires too much background knowledge on the part of the reader, plus the elephant wasn't a thing until later

Elinore doesn't get created until post-Crisis, but also just generally, pre-Crisis callbacks are more along the lines of this reference in Batman 129 (published in 1960), where, wow, Batman and Robin are hunting jewel thieves - and it turns out Robin recognized this strongman! BUT HOW?!

The comic goes on to recap Dick's entire origin story in flashback, on the assumption that you may not know it.

(BTW, if you'd like to know more about Haly's Circus throughout the years, nightwingology has a great post here summarizing a lot of fun plotlines and characters!)

Basically: Silver Age comics are very self-consciously episodic and kid-friendly; they're not generally gonna do overly-elaborate callbacks because they don't know what comics their kid readers may have randomly picked up or remember.

By the time of post-Crisis, comic books were being written for an adult audience buying from the direct market, i.e. readers who are collecting whole runs & don't need or want Dick's origin story to be recapped to us in full every time it's referenced. That's why in post-Crisis, we get stuff like "hey, neat, this particular soda brand is getting mentioned in several different books!!" or "in order to understand this story arc, buy SIXTEEN DIFFERENT COMICS in FIVE DIFFERENT RUNS and read them ALL ACCORDING TO A NUMBERED ORDER and also you better be following the individual plotlines and recognize these five minor characters who we don't bother to introduce!! Good luck!!" But the elaborate post-Crisis plotlines - and subtler worldbuilding like a stuffed animal callback to Dick's backstory - don't make a lot of story sense UNLESS you're imagining your readers as completionist adult fans.

So IMO a stuffed animal wouldn't be a pre-Crisis thing unless it was The Episodic Story Of the Week, and I don't think a stuffed animal is action-adventure-y enough for the fast-paced storytelling of the Silver Age. (Unless it, like, came to life and tried to eat you or something.)

Post-Crisis: stuffed animals, yes or no?

tl;dr: no, Dick's a manly tough guy, he's not gonna have a stuffed animal, that'd be lame, like something Tim might do

Part of the edgy grimdark adult vibes in 80s/90s comics is that some characters who used to be kinda silly & goofy & lighthearted - like Batman and Robin - get reimagined as Serious and Angsty and Edgy in a Tough Cool Manly Brooding Way. This massively affects characterization for Bruce, Dick, and Bruce and Dick's relationship.

(I obviously love this change & love the tense Bruce-and-Dick interactions, but plenty of fans of the earlier fluffy comics really disliked the edgy retcons of Miller / Wolfman / Starlin / et al.)

The upshot is that post-Crisis is a period when you could have a recurring reference like a stuffed elephant, but you wouldn't have a stuffed elephant, not for Dick. I think a toy like that would be too cutesy / childish / effeminate to give a male character in post-Crisis, unless you were poking fun at him.

Now, you could probably let Tim have a stuffed animal, because Tim is sometimes cool but also sometimes a tryhard loser who is faking being cool and not entirely pulling it off (see e.g. the Robin comic where he practices tough-guy faces in the mirror, or the Teen Titans comic where Conner discovers his cringy Enya CD, or when he's fanboying over Connor and it's awkward, etc etc.). A stuffed animal would be deeply embarrassing, and you'd have to be careful to compensate by having Tim do something cool afterward - but Tim's character concept allows for "he's kind of a loser sometimes."

But Dick isn't!! In post-Crisis, Dick's a tough / impressive / "cool guy" character, the kind of guy anyone would want to be, even in the flashbacks where he's Robin, and even in the stories where he's more lighthearted than angsty. It'd be kinda lame for Dick to have a stuffed elephant, so he wouldn't. I feel like Dick would be more likely to poke fun at it if someone had one, like when he's making fun of Wally for liking the Hardy Boys. Dick could have a Batman action figure, at most, and if he had one he would have it ironically.

Basically: in post-Crisis, a male character hugging a stuffed elephant feels more likely to be a punchline to me, not something poignant. (Even with Tim, Tim could have an embarrassing stuffed animal, but he couldn't hug it when sad - that's too far. Maybe Booster Gold might do this. Probably he wouldn't, but spiritually, he would. Sorry Booster ilu! <3)

Instead, Dick instinctively deals with his inner turmoil like the TORTURED ACTION HERO he is: by punching things and brooding and yelling and joining the mob and sleeping on rooftops and going on obsessive secret missions and acquiring Angsty Stubble!! Just like Batman!

(Technically I don't know if Bruce ever joined the mob but you know he would.)

Anyway as you know this is my favorite continuity and I am poking fun affectionately, but uh, yeah sdfsfdsfs. No stuffed animals.

Post-2011 / Infinite Frontier / Wayne Family Adventures: stuffed animals, yes or no?

tl;dr it's in WFA! Probably not anywhere else, but it could be.

Post-2011 stuff tends to be cutesier overall, most of all in the current Infinite Frontier era. So I don't feel like this would be tonally out-of-line with IF comics. Taylor tends to go for more meme-y references rather than fanfic references, though.

So the obvious best fit is WFA, which is aiming for a rough approximation of Silver Age family-friendly vibes - wholesome, episodic plots, Teaching Good Moral Lessons For The Youth, etc. - plus lots of Easter eggs for fanfic readers and some comic references.

And look, here we are:

Aww.

Whew - that's everything I could find!

Anyway as you can probably tell, I LOVE the elephant, so this was a very entertaining rabbit hole to go down, thank you <3

[etoilesombre]

You know what? People shouldn't feel bad about liking things in fandom, or creating things that make them happy. I'm absolutely vagueposting, but this really isn't about one post, it's about a tone I've noticed popping up again lately from multiple people (including people I follow and generally respect!)

-"They absolutely cannot fuck! So crazy people would think about that and be into it, it would break canon! "

-"Mod AU doesn't work, they're Serious Characters they aren't gonna run a coffee shop its OOC! "

-"Actually, fun fluffy fic about them at all during a certain era doesn't work!"

I get it. I agree with a fair part of it. People post all kinds of asinine shit that I hate actually. But you know where I bitch about it? Privately in group chat.

Let people fucking have fun. I get the sense that many people come to this fandom specifically because it's Serious and Challenging and you want to Do Serious Analysis. I think a lot of folks around these parts either are in school and not having a good time about it, or wish that they had gone into better academia that doesn't really exist, and they're getting that need met here. And that's great! For real!

But you know what else is fine? People who either don't have that need, or are getting it met in other parts of their lives, and come here for stress relief and a fun free hobby.

Of course they can't fuck for real! It's not in the text, they simply don't. But the tension is obviously written in, and playing with possibilities can be fun! Also if you can't see how it could happen and still not fix shit, that's a skill issue. Fic authors aren't stupid, we don't fail to understand canon, but not everything has to be everything all the time. Sometimes you want to do all the work and try to match the level of writing in the show, and sometimes you want to have something nice and easy. The show is REALLY well written and what it needs to be, the point of transformative works is playing with what it's NOT. Some people cope with fluff, or good ending everybody lives AUs, and it might be so totally valid to look down on that, but maybe being publicly correct might be less important than being kind?

Actually, the main thing I want to say is that if YOU reading this are a person who wants to write a cute coffeeshop AU, or be horny on main about your boys kissing, it's actually fine!! At least, it historically has been fine. This is a really small fandom now and not that many people are actively creating, please don't be discouraged by this stuff, because the people who criticize on tumblr are actually not the majority. The REASON they criticize is that, if you go to AO3 and sort by kudos, much of it is this super sweet OOC stuff! It looks like that's most of what there is, because a lot of readers in the wild who watch the show and look up fic like it!

Anyway. Let people have fun, it doesn't cost you anything, and not every thought needs to be public. It actually does discourage people.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

it's less us adopting you and more like a-yuan where you ran up to us in a busy marketplace (tumblr tags/dashboard) and latched onto our legs with vengeance and adopted us into your chaos (but like in a good way)

Mutually Assured Adoption. We will take to the town and cause havoc

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

[daz4i]

my mind is once again assaulted by people's incorrect views of my special little guy. not sure i can recover from this.

[brown-little-robin]

.

[loumauve]

the goddamn toast water post just made me utter "history is fucking real" in the most solemn and serious tone of voice, out loud, to myself, in the goddamn bathtub

[californiaquail]

i love him it must be said

[silverwhittlingknife]

can we have a hint about what the spring break tim patrol chapter of red letter day contains? (you kept having dick say "if the joker shows up" and tim's "he won't." for me to be convinced that goes off without any trouble)

i'm sure it'll be fine. :D

i am delighted you're enjoying the story <333 i haven't updated it in soooo long but i got some very sweet comments lately so i have been looking at my scribbles again <3

[solvicrafts]

I feel kinda bad for everybody in my ACNL town because I always end up disappearing for half of the year and then like clockwork I always get the urge to play again in October.