#in major need right now

[drolta]

huge win for Moghedien fans this week

[fellthemarvelous]

"Hurt people hurt people. The difference between good and evil is what we do with the pain."

Belinda Chandra, ladies and gentlemen.

[aroaceleovaldez]

i think the thing i'm most disappointed about with riordanverse fandom now versus like 2014 is not only has the fandom not gotten any less racist or queerphobic or ableist (in fact in some regards its gotten worse!) but now it's just boring too. like there's no fandom infrastructure anymore - the community these days is almost entirely source material-driven - and you deviate from canon even slightly people get weird about it. whatever happened to the post-HoO fanon boom. the fandom needs to get weirder again. and self-sufficient. and less offensive.

[infinitelymint]

another little snippet of what's now 8k of Violet feeling like proper shit and thinking a baby might fix it (spoiler alert, it won't)

He cups her cheek and she hates herself a little bit for turning into the touch, for savouring the warmth and the feel of his hand against her skin. It’s been so long since she was last touched with any kind of affection that wasn’t from her dragons. It’s a testament to just how long that she lets him of all people. She squeezes her eyes closed tightly, willing herself to keep the tears at bay.

She’s missed it so much, the feel of someone else’s hands on her body. The comfort of a simple, platonic touch. She has missed the connection, the intimacy, the knowledge that someone cares. Gods, she thinks again, what she wouldn’t give for a simple hug.

“Vi,” he breathes, and there he goes again with the ‘Vi’, breaking down her walls even further. He sounds heartbroken and she can’t quite grasp why. He doesn’t care about her, so why does he suddenly sound like he does?

“I don’t think I’m okay,” she confesses and there’s no amount of squeezing her eyes closed that will hold the tears back now, not when she's finally uttered the truth that she has known intimately for months and months out loud. She feels the tears fall down her cheeks, leaving wet, hot tracks in their wake, like a map of her sadness. It doesn’t take long for his thumb to come up to wipe them away.

“I know,” he says, and there’s none of that brute efficiency or cold detachment she'd come to know from him during the war. His tone is gentle. It’s nothing like she remembers him, nothing like the picture she has of him in her mind. She doesn't know how to reconcile this version of him with the one who's only ever shown her indifference or frustration before.

She thinks that maybe peace time allows some to break down, and others to take care of the pieces that are left in ways that war time never could.

[nabaath-areng]

I have way too many alts that I keep to myself (which is why I generally refrain from posting them), but I'm going to ignore that habit for a moment just because I'm feeling particularly insane about this guy.

[soren-apologist]

i feel like people who say ike is a mary sue/gary stu in radiant dawn don’t realize that fe10’s supposed to be the ending of his arc as a character, where he’s reaching the very last part of his development.

at its core, fe9 is a coming-of-age story; ike goes from being a hotheaded, impatient teenager to a much calmer, more mature version of himself after having the responsibilities of handling a mercenary company and later an entire army thrust on his shoulders at far too early of an age. as such, while fe9 on its own initially seems as if it’s an entire character arc, we actually get to see how ike further grows into himself after 2 years of peace and coping with the events of the mad king’s war, a privilege that remains extremely uncommon for most fire emblem protagonists.

the ending of part 2 introduces us to a 20-year-old ike, now having physically grown up to match his personal growth from the start of fe9. while a more mature version of himself, he never turns on the morals and ideals that make him who he is, having decided to leave the crimean court to return working as a simple mercenary because he knows it’s where he belongs. despite this, however, he still finds himself dragged into conflicts and subsequent positions of power he doesn’t want. even though all he wants is a simple life as a mercenary, he still willingly chooses to take on the role of a general of sanaki’s army because he’s just not the kind of person to turn away someone in need, especially when he’s quite literally the only person qualified to fit the role asked of him (commanding armies of both beorc and laguz).

to clarify, ike isn’t already over with his character growth by fe10– he’s just nearing the end of it. while it’s a lot more subdued, you can absolutely still see the stubbornness and sass that characterized him in fe9; he’s still backtalking the enemy commanders he fights and giving people in positions of power above him a hard time whenever they do or say something he doesn’t like.

on that point, even as the “mature” version of himself, he honestly still kind of puts his foot in his mouth a few times there. it obviously never reaches the extent of him snapping at the entire council of begnion because they were being rude to elincia, but instances like this, where ike could have literally gotten himself and his entire army killed if he had genuinely offended dheginsea, whether through death-by-black dragon king or getting thrown back into the kauku caves:

or this, by which point in the story he’s so tired of everything that when oliver decides to defect from his own forces to the greil army, ike’s just like “eugh” and says right to oliver’s face that he’d rather fight and kill him then have his support as an ally, something he probably shouldn’t be doing (and most likely wouldn’t if it wasn’t oliver asking) considering there’s a very finite number of people available to fight ashera:

(i can’t entirely blame him for this one though, because, again… oliver)

or, hell, even this, where ike is standing directly in front of ashera who is about to kill everyone in the tower and turn the entire world to stone, to which his response is to tell her to pick a god and pray:

…are all pretty good instances of ike not always managing to catch his tongue. i mean, if nothing else, you can’t deny the guy’s got balls of steel, but shit-talking pseudo-immortal beings entirely capable of killing him on the spot probably isn’t one of the wisest decisions out there. still, though, it actually matches his fe9 characterization pretty well; in both games, he tends to snap and say or do something ill-advised when he’s frustrated and believes someone else is in the wrong in some way. the main difference between the games is the extent to which ike reacts, though, as now he’s a little calmer even when angry, and no longer charges headlong into danger like when mist and rolf were kidnapped or when facing the black knight for the first time. he’s still making some questionable (bad) decisions here and there, it’s just now they’re a lot less severe than they used to be, and he’s grown up enough that he doesn’t need titania to lecture him whenever he does something dumb anymore.

besides this, the main thing ike is still dealing with in fe10 is his tendency towards self-effacing behavior— and yeah, on its own “too nice for his own good” does sound like the sort of flaw a gary stu would have, but in this case it genuinely does affect him. he’s constantly bending over backwards to help those in need, even when his own kindness is constantly shooting him in the foot and leaving him to deal with even more problems. it actually coincides with his tendency to speak before he thinks, because as a person he just can’t sit by and watch as someone or a group of people is treated unfairly, even if it means getting himself wrapped up in a mess he could have avoided by staying quiet.

on that whole “shooting himself in the foot” thing, it’s important to keep in mind that the “rewards” ike receives for his kindness are more often than not things he doesn’t actually want. as a smaller example, his good looks, bravery, and gentle heart are constantly getting him attention from women when he himself has no interest in their flirting, to the point it makes him uncomfortable. as a much larger example, ike doesn’t want to be a wealthy nobleman, but he still accepts the title of lord to help elincia, and chooses to hold it for a year and a half after the war for the sake of giving legitimacy to her newfound regency over crimea. after this, he finally manages to give up his title and return to running the greil mercenaries, only to be contacted by bastian after a few months and have to go into hiding for the sake of launching a surprise attack on ludveck’s rebel army. he’s then immediately drawn into the begnion-laguz alliance conflict, something he’s actually okay with because he’s being contracted as a mercenary commander and not a general, except that as soon as their army combines with crimea and sanaki’s forces he’s promptly guilt tripped into being a fucking general again. after, like, 2 weeks of commanding sanaki’s army, they accidentally set off the apocalypse, and now ike is the general of the army facing off against literal god. when all of this is said and done, he still doesn’t get what he wants— a simple life as a mercenary— because now he’s known across the entire continent as the radiant hero, the savior of tellius. after everything he’s gone through, he doesn’t even get to have the quiet life he wanted because he’s simply too impactful of a person to be forgotten by history. ike doesn’t want fame, riches, and women; he just wants some relative peace and tranquility, something he is continually denied while the former is frequently pushed upon him.

ike’s ending is where i personally believe it marks the true conclusion of his arc as a character. like a lot of other people, i wasn’t initially sold on the idea of him just up and running away from the continent forever, leaving behind loved ones like mist and titania. after thinking it over a lot, though, i eventually realized it’s actually a very fitting ending for someone like him. the unfortunate truth of the matter is that, no matter what, if ike had stayed in tellius he never would’ve gotten his true happy ending— his fame as a general would have followed him forever, and it’s almost guaranteed he would have found himself dragged into yet another conflict he didn’t want to be a part of, something he himself definitely seems to be aware of.

as such, ike packing up his belongings and taking off either alone or with someone dear to him was actually the best solution to this perpetual dilemma; after years of pain and struggle, finally finding a way to escape the world that had ripped away his childhood and demanded so much out of him must have been cathartic. no longer was he the radiant hero, savior of crimea and tellius— now he was just ike, a traveling mercenary, and that was all he wanted the entire time. it’s also part of why i like the idea of him going with soren so much, as anyone else, including ranulf, would still have ties back to tellius, and could potentially come to regret leaving permanently in the way ike wanted to (hence why someone like mist could never be an option). with soren, however, all he wants is to be at ike’s side, regardless of wherever it takes him. in fact, i’d even argue the two of them leaving together is the best-case scenario, where they both can get exactly what they’ve always desired. as ike and soren get to finally escape the world that had caused them so much grief together, they actually both attain their happily ever afters, living the lives they always wished they could have had.

at no point is ike ever a “perfect” character; at his very core, he’s a person who refuses to stray from his moral compass, something that causes him to make as many mistakes and brings as many issues as it does successes. in fact, it’s so prevalent of a trait it stands as one of the themes of fe9, where even as he grows from a stubborn child to a calm, mature adult, he never loses that earnest belief in doing what’s right. as such, while it can be easily mistaken as doing so, path of radiance was never meant to contain the entirety of ike’s development as a character— it was merely intended to portray his growing pains as he gradually develops into the person who would one day be hailed as the radiant hero. mirroring this, radiant dawn stands as the very ending to this story, in which his selflessness finally grants him a tellius at peace and the freedom to seek out his own happy ending. he was never meant to go through an entire, second arc in this game— he was simply finishing the one he started four years ago.

[corviiids]

based on how i approach plotting ive come to the conclusion that even if i were morally and logically okay with becoming kira i would get the death note and think "okay, im going to make sure i come up with the perfect plan so i can't get caught", spend several months on it, refuse to execute it because it's not foolproof yet, and simply never get around to it. if ethics and reason didn't stop me from becoming kira then sheer procrastination would do the trick

[majorproblems77]

If your seeing this, hey! (including slightly more stressed me probably.)

I put this in my queue thinking that, oh you might just need to let people know that its good to take a moment sometimes.

But writing it, looking at this and seeing these words written, (I have this queued for the week my dissertation is due.) I realise that there may be blorbo's or It may feel like your going at like 100 miles an hour.

But just sit a moment, take a breath. Remind yourself that you are capable of doing it. That you've made it through every day of your life before this one. And you'll make it through this one too.

Remind yourself, cause I have to remind myself sometimes, that it's okay to ask for help. Even if the depression tells you no, even if the anxiety tells you no.

It's okay, it'll be okay in the end.

Love ya, (/pl) you can do this.

Major

[barksbog]

i bought a bike and it needs a bunch of parts replaced because it´s Old so i´m having a quick sale!

----

use code: OHNORUSTY for 20% off all orders!!

barks-bog.com

[tenaciouschronicler]

May 4 2025 2010

*slams door open*

GUYS!!!

Man! Ok ok ok, that flash had a lot to it and Ive got a lot of red string here so lets go!

We learn the name of WV? in this timepoint, WARWEARY VILLEIN. At first I thought it was some funky spelling of Villain but a quick google search shows thats not the case. From wikipedia "a class of serf [...] expected to spend some of their time working on the lord's fields in return for land. Villeins existed under a number of legal restrictions [...], and could not leave without his lord's permission. Generally, villeins held their status not by birth but by the land they held, and it was also possible for them to gain manumission from their lords." Further reading on serfdom states its a peasant status of indentured servitude and a manumission was an act of freeing from said servitude or slavery.

I love this for so many reasons. First, every other exile of our four has status; Parcel Mistress, Authority Regulator, the White Queen. There was an expectation that WV would follow a similar convention but he doesnt. Second, it adds more weight to WVs previous thoughts and actions, his hatred for Kings, and what follows in the flash.

(more on the flash and WV explorations under the cut)

The flash starts with the 3x3 chessboard only holding two kings in a stalemate. With Johns entry and prototyping the board increases in size. Roses entry and prototyping turns the flat surface three dimensional, with more surface to fight, bodies of water and areas of green. Daves entry and prototyping exponentially increases the size forming a spherical land that is nearly developed in form to a new planet. We go down to the surface and see its now full of hills, mountains and valleys. Nannas words are starting to make more sense and I fear I see what went wrong where Jades involved. (Ill explain at the end.)

There are areas close to what look like palaces where it seems to be calmer, likely protected in their proximity. Likewise theres areas of turmoil where chesspeople from both sides battle viciously. Two different types of ships fly in the air; gold and purple ones that look more like battleships and grey, compact ones that more chesspeople drop out of. Likely, these are ships that come from labs like John is at and their neutral color is devastating. Theres many of them but all I can think is seeing those and not knowing if its friend or foe that descends from the heavens.

A hauntingly beautiful shot of these lands from afar shows fires raging, billowing smoke, giant chess pieces and many white bodies on the ground. We get to see these giant pieces closer as a, I think, Bishop and Knight clash, the Knight stomping on Rooks and Pawns below.

We return to the shot from before this flash, a scarecrow like figure dressed in the tattered clothes of a soldier, a white sash, and a bucket engraved with the Sburb logo. Nearby is WVs house. A quaint place surrounded with lush fields, a window with many pots of budding plants and, after taking another look, its reminiscent of a mailbox.

At this point I had to pause because of how fast I got slapped with a realization. Way back when we met WV I noted the following:

Exploring west theres an odd assortment of things: crayons-chalk, motor oil, firefly in amber and Uranium... which WV promptly eats. The same goes for the green shades of chalk, WV really likes green and I cant tell if its because they associate it with plants=edible or if they are just Like That and eat their favorite color.

I guess I got that answered, huh? Writing this I had another revelation. WV only ate plants while AR ate meat. At the time it could just be chalked up to preference, and it still could be, but now Im getting hit with the idea this would be commonplace. AR, living on Derse and able to wander the Lands, would likely be able to access different food types. WV on the other hand, is a peasant who works the land. In most cases, a serf would work the Lords lands and all that would go to the Lord. However, they were also allowed to cultivate their own land to survive. WV has only known to eat what is cultivated and likely still sees it as matter of course that he consumes plant matter, can contents not withstanding. It also explains how excited he was to drink Tab. Its something new he likely never would have dreamed of being able to have.

As well, when we get closer shots of WV? hes actually very plain. Everyone else weve seen has multiple colors on their clothes but his is only purple with a monochrome checker pattern. It just further shows how little status WV? has.

Unfortunately, the peace doesn't last as next we see the fighting has come closer and the fields are now aflame. WV? stands outside his home, watching. He moves to the edge of the hilltop, the now tattered flag in hand, and surveys the fighting below. His face is blank, edged in an orange glow from the flames. The scarecrow burns and so does WV?s hatred.

Ill admit I lost it a little here seeing the same black crown above his head as when he spoke of his hatred for kings.

We zoom in on that crown and find ourselves in front of the Black King. He is just as imposing of a figure, if not more so, as the Queen with stocky build and Staff in hand. The staff holds a small version of Skaia and the same orbs around the top, three a lighter grey and one darker.

Super cool transition into the orb back above the plane and down to Jack as he flies towards his destination. WV?, now closer to the fray, ralies the soldiers of both sides. Spured by his words they join together and follow him. In this shot WV? reminds me of a shepherd.

We find PM? whos landed and realized she no longer has the ring. Undeterred, she finds her king. He, like the White Queen, listens to her plight and even without the ring easily abdicates his Crown and Staff. Behind them HB? speaks into the walkie relaying the information.

The Black King looks almost afraid as his enemies and his people march forward, but before WV? can motion, his attention is stolen by someone. Jack raises his sword and slashes the staff, cutting the King from his power much like with the Queen. HB? attacks PM? sending the white staff flying while Jack beheads the King, placing the crown above his head. WV?s expression changes from bewilderment to rage; theres no love lost for the dead king, but he will not serve ANY king. Somewhere else on the battlefield, the white staff lays abandoned.

Its facinating how different the two sides are. For the Black Royalty, an act of violence strips them of their power forcibly and takes their life, their own people turning on them. For the White Royalty, its an act of benevolence as they freely relenquish their power, listening to the words and plight of merely one of their own.

Back to the Jade thing I call on Carcinos own words:

CG: THE BLACK KING AND QUEEN

CG: GET THE POWER TO SEND THE VEIL TOWARD SKAIA

CG: TO DESTROY IT

CG: THAT KIND OF STARTS YOUR BIG "COUNTDOWN"

[...]

EB: ok, but it sounds like we've got plenty of time before that happens right?

CG: THAT'S JUST IT

CG: YOU DON'T

CG: ORDINARILY YOU WOULD BUT

CG: YOUR RECKONING STARTS MUCH SOONER

CG: BECAUSE OF SOME DUMB THINGS YOU'VE DONE

The Black King and Queen are dead. In this instance Black has lost. This is not how it should go. Without whatever is in that package Jade sent, Jack never would have had a chance against BQ. Would never have the power equal to BK. Perhaps WV?s uprising would have failed and he and the others would end up slain on the battlefield. The Reckoning will still happen without a white queen and king. But its much sooner than anticipated if the kids arent fully in the game. Further, how can it be stopped if the requirement is to kill the black queen and king? How does that change now that Jack wields both?

On another point, is Skaia building a new world? Weve been told its a 'dormant crucible of unlimited creative potential'. In it is the battlefield that changes with each prototyping. What happens to it when Jade enters and will it even still happen after everything has been thown off course? Is that all it does or is there more we wont get to see because of this?

All I know is the stakes seem to be much higher when you have to explore the unknown.

[jorenilee]

ok elusive and big ass rant about chatgpt and groupmates under the cut

like. as much as i hated chatgpt, there was some kernel within me that wondered if all this talk about chatgpt rendering people helpless and vulnerable and unable to think for themselves, if that was all fearmongering. Im aware that I'm surrounded by people that use it, and it sucks, but could it really make all these university students forget to function.

well today I figured out the answer was yes because holyyy shittt. my groupmates were just copy and pasting whatever chatgpt shat out directly into our assignment, and because chatgpt isn't a damn student and doesnt know the course, it kept mentioning shit we never learned or approached the questions the complete wrong way. And my groupmates never even noticed. They could not even tell it was bringing up statistical tests we never learned and coding nowhere near our course, they were just regurgitating what it said with no further thought on if it was actually right or not.

And I was pissed because a lot of that regurgitation was just Wrong and formatted like ass, so I had to rewrite all of it, but now I'm sad cuz like. Do you not even recognize what is and isn't course material? Do you not even double check what it says? If it's remotely right? If it's even answering the damn question?

I literally told someone that heyyy question 3 is extremely similar to question 2, so copy and paste the code for question 2 and just exchange the names of variables and that's literally it. But then they experienced 1 setback and immediately went back to chatgpt, which then regurgitated an entirely different code that guess what!!! Didn't work at all!!!! I asked hey why, they said it didn't work. I went to our lecture notes, copied exactly 2 lines of code from the question 2 code, changed the variable names and guess what!!!! it worked!!! Instantly!!!!!! No errors!!!!!

Like holy shit I NEVER had code instantly work like that before, and it took pressing ctrl c+v and the most bare minimum, highest tip of the iceberg understanding of coding for me to fix it. I don't know how you could have fucked up so bad that it didn't work first try. And what's awesome is that question 2's code also took multiple tries because they were asking chatgpt and I kept saying shit like "hey we never learned about if-else statements and its messing up the code", question 2 eventually worked out, and then they immediately gave me the question 3 code with another if-else statement. Like do you READ?? WHAT IT SAYS???

It was maddening because like, what are you guys even paying $400 for at that point. Not even looking at any of the lecture material, not even knowing the shit we Don't Know, not even attempting ANY of the questions without the torment nexus, and then relying on someone else to fact check that torment nexus because you didn't even think it needed fact-checking. And it's especially dystopian when my TA is recommending chatgpt when I literally saw how BAD and WRONG it was at EVERY step.

I thought ppl were being ever-so-slightly dramatic when describing chatgpt as making people wholly complacent and taking away free thought, but I kinda saw it with my own eyes??? For something as small as a statistics assignment??? I kinda wish chatgpt would just pull the plug right now and slap a huge paywall on it just so people can catch themselves early. Because my god, what would yall do without it. What could yall do without it. This shit burned like 3 trees just to tell me a p-value that didnt exist.

[pestilentbrood]

just so everyone's aware btw this is a blog run by a bug enthusiast. That is an understatement. I am an entomologist. i study bug. i have loved bugs my entire life and will be spending the rest of my life working with them. that is to say that this place is not friendly to bug haters. i don't react well to bug negativity. if you don't like bug it may be best for you to go. okays? wonderful. everyone who's left come look at this grub with me

[kaisollisto]

last thing u wrote:

((based on this))

(there are no rules :3ccc)

tagged by: @daisychainsandbowties

Ava glares at the juts of Lilith’s cheekbones. She can tell from the sharp stoniness of them Lilith’s not listening to a word she’s saying. It’s this back and forth that usually ends in hours of petty silence away from each other. Ava will say no, Lilith will tower over her and insist. Lilith will grit her jaw and rip her argument to shreds and Ava will find it begrudgingly hot. 

It’s the only thing they talk about between keeping the space station afloat with life. It’s easy to get lost in the labor of doing the work of what would be fit for a team of 5 but Ava knows they cannot shake the hole that stares back. 

It’s the strange case that drew them here first, a distress signal pinging repeatedly from the bottomless pit and an old recording of 2 fuzzy figures lurking on the other end. There are records of people before them in the current station just adjacent to the pit but never any more evidence of what lies below. There is an elevator that connects to what Ava hopes is the other station but can only be accessed from inside the station they’re in. It looks well used enough to convince her it’s sturdy enough to survive at least two trips. 

Lilith steps closer, close enough to touch her and Ava isn’t ready for that. “I’m not going down there Lil, you’ve seen the reports, people who come here don’t come back and I’m starting to get why.” 

Lilith’s eyes flash with a sliver of something volatile before Ava can take it back, the mistake digs in her throat but she stands up, turning around to look at the old recording once again. The screen has a crack in it that distorts part of the footage but it's clear that there's proof that life has made it down there. It's a jumbled 6 second clip that jumps around, almost unreadable but Ava has a feeling she cannot keep running away. 

Ava can't take her eyes off the clip, replaying it frantically over and over in her mind as a feeling she doesn't want to name wells up inside her. Even if they did go down, Ava would have to go alone because of the Halo. Its faint glow would be more beneficial than risking any energy input for light. 

Lilith is burning behind her no doubt a couple sentences away from strangling her. Ava knows her fingers are twitching. That’s just who Lilith is, she looks out for Ava in an angry way. 

“Ava,” She puffs, Ava can see it in her head, Lilith loosening the lock in her jaw with a wisp of breath snaking between her teeth. She thinks if Lilith wasn’t always knocking her around she’d pick up smoking. But she supposes smoking would detract from the heated sex they always find themselves in. 

There’s a shuffle behind her but Ava is too cowardly to turn around, not quite ready for another argument or maybe something worse. Ava wonders if today’s the day where one of them crosses the line. 

“We don’t know anything, people have accidents or get lost. There's nothing more to it.” Lilith slows down her syllables sounding like a stranger, “We have an ancient artifact that enhances your physicality, there's nothing to be afraid of.” 

Ava doesn’t like it, how dejected Lilith sounds, it’s wrong. It makes her feel wild, she pushes, falling into what they know best, “Maybe for your physique,” Ava swallows heavily the words tumbling out of her mouth searing, “but I'm the crippled one here remember? The Halo gets me to what you would consider your peak physique." She can feel tears of frustrations lining her eyes and she squints angrily at the footage. She brings her knees up to her chest hoping she hadn’t bled too raw for Lilith to notice. 

She knows she hasn’t succeeded, the Halo’s always been a sore spot for both of them. It’s a coin toss, the Halo which gives her strength but is ultimately unstable. The power output is too random and unreliable. It's not sustainable for her in the long run. She is nothing if not at the mercy of a crusty old metal that decides if she can move her fingers or bench five times Lilith’s weight. 

She sulks hoping Lilith will do what they do best. It’s quiet behind her and in her embarrassed tear stricken haze she’s sure that Lilith has fled, parallel to the line that they both don’t dare to cross. 

Ava tucks her head into her arms, her shoulders peeking over her ears and she’s resigned to accepting this endless back and forth for forever. 

She’s musing the list of chores she can do to avoid Lilith when her chair is swiveled backwards to face her. Lilith’s fingers stray far from any part of Ava but she bends to her height kneeling against the cold tiled floor. From this angle her cheekbones are soft, a tangible thing that Ava can’t look at. There’s a vulnerability that clings to Lilith; it feels wrong to look at her so bare that Ava swallows. But no matter how far she’s strayed from her she always ends up at the beginning. 

Lilith watches her, before grabbing the arm of the chair stilling Ava’s squirming. Even in the hard lines of her eyebrows, (the ones that knit together at Ava’s insistence to look anywhere but her,) there’s a softness in her pupils, the deepest part of her eyes that Ava has to really look to find. 

Lilith doesn’t grab any part of her and Ava thinks her body would be less aware of it if Lilith just fucking touched her like a normal fucking person. 

“Ava,” Lilith swallows, she looks crumpled, “We cannot keep running. Eventually there will be nowhere else to go, and then what? I just watch you wither away for the rest of my life? Watch you waste away and think 'well we did the best we could'?” It squeezes out of Lilith like a dirty secret, a shame that has festered inside of her. 

It almost makes her feel wrong but Ava can feel the chair shaking, Ava can feel Lilith is shaking. Somewhere along the way Lilith has grazed her knee but Ava doesn’t register it the way it kills Lilith to confess. 

 “I need you.” 

tagging @aromarianne @tragedylure @desognthinking

[xxplastic-cubexx]

what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]

a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious

i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me

as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy

[shaperaverse-brainrot]

23, 21, 11?

23. draw your fav as a vampire

Raven my beloved!! I couldn't decide if I'd ruined it or not with the collar and clothes, so have both yippee

[luna-loveboop]

I'm not gonna post Wind's poll today- probably overmorrow? Gonna take a couple days, but I'll resume the polls shortly, dw.

I need to stop laughing when I see a number over a hundred.