#in human years shed be about 60 ish

[simonsquest]

THE REQUIEM FOR SIMON BELMONT - A Castlevania 2 Playlist

I created a 60 (ish)-track playlist inspired by Simon's curse as it ravages him, guided by my interpretation that Simon is weakened in those terrible years in preparation to become (and eventually is, in the bad end) possessed by Dracula, thus becoming more ghoul or vampire-like as the years go by. I've highlighted lyrics that I feel are most pertinent to that specific idea I have. I hope these tracks inspire you like they do me. If you have any similar ones to recommend please send them my way. I'm always eager to listen to more. :) Genres: Metalcore, Nu-metal, Melodic hardcore, Power metal, Alternative rock, Pop punk, Ambient, Emo, a few Pop songs The post is very long under the cut, but it features lyric highlights and a direct link to each song on YouTube. Please be advised that the lyrics can be very graphic and illustrate disturbing imagery and ideas. Please proceed with caution!

Departed Way - SoTN soundtrack No lyrics, it's ambient. :)

Bloody Tears - The Megas The land is wrought with terror He roams the countryside They call him “Vampire Killer” Wipe the blood from your eyes Seeking the ancient weapon A journey far from done Racing the setting sun This battle must be won These bloody tears fall Blinded for ten thousand years This nightmare just keeps getting worse What a horrible night to have a curse This bloodline's sole devotion Is ending evil’s reign Standing upon the shoulders Ancestors rise again He’s found another token To bring about the end The dark will rise again Given flesh by sin And so, the shiver of the night arrives The rite that will save their lives This family damned to fight The demon’s gift of eternal night And now, the quest consumes his heart A marked man, slowly torn apart In these eight accursed years He’s been drowning in his tears Bloody tears

Heart of Fire - The Megas The reaper takes what's his That is what they say He wants to take your life It won't be this day You can feel it burn Somewhere deep within You can hear them scream What is it they say? Who's imprisoned here? Is it you, or they? Death comes for all men Now you come for him You will not be denied Death takes no bribe He can't stop you tonight Your heart of fire burns inside This heart of fire burns tonight (x2) You cannot leave this place That is what they say The keeper has the key But you found a way You can feel it burn Feel the flames surround From the darkness you You can hear him say He has the power here You will take it away They cannot cage what's in your heart Tonight, tonight, tonight And now you see what sets apart Tonight, tonight, tonight They cannot stop you now, no Nothing can stop you now Let the flames consume you Let the fire burn

Out of Time - The Megas A lifetime of training, a legacy of pain Bringing honor to those who remain Portraits of heroes, from his recall Faces torn from their place on the wall Nexus of evil, a castle of ash The existence of man slipping into the past He carries the burden, now nearing the peak Perhaps he will find the redemption he seeks There's something here A staircase to darkness appears Out of time Saving this dying land The hourglass, it runs out of sand Shedding his human lies Tonight, the lord of darkness shall rise The bone dust, it settles Between the gears Machinery powered by mortal fear Blood is the fabric that covers the stair The words of his master, becoming his prayer Behold the omen, eclipse of the moon Convergence of evil awaits in this room A demon resides in this living corpse Cut off the head, and another springs forth This can't be real Into this nightmare revealed Out of time Evil, it stands at midnight Weapons, they flash in the moonlight Now it's time to strike this demon down once and for all The moment of truth If it's lost, our legacy shatters The strength of his ancestors gather, to say: "Simon, fight, for the good of all mankind"

DAYWALKER! (feat. CORPSE) - Machine Gun Kelly, CORPSE I'll never be the same I wanna know if I tell you a secret, will you keep it? I need someone to blame (take it) When I find this motherfucker then I'll lay him in his grave I won't ever be the same I bit the fucking apple, I'm surrounded by some snakes I prayed to God, and then I went to sleep with bloody hands I came back Nah, not getting better, can't change it, I left blood all on the pavement I'm on borrowed time, can't shake it, blackout when I'm raging There's an invisible voice that's talkin' to me, and it's always tellin' me to kill I got a problem with separating what my head is creating from things that are real I'm in a room, hyperventilating, and debating to pop off the cap of these pills

Werewolf - Motionless in White I can feel you, I can hear you, howling in my bones There's an evil lurking in the dark Ever-shifting, skin is ripping as you take control I can't tell where you end and where I start I could be up all the night, but I'm paralyzed when the creature comes alive 'Cause it's fight or fright in the full moonlight You can run but you can't hide Smile for the camera, but don't flash your teeth I feel like somebody's watching me (feels like everybody's watching me) Can't fight these cravings in the night A beast who's burdened by his bite And in the pale moonlight, a debt to be paid For one must suffer for all eternity

Porcelain - Motionless in White God knows I tried, but broken, I bow to the beast inside An altered state, sometimes I even scare myself Is it too late to question fate? And hope is fleeting, still tethered to this grim divergence of my being I can't stop the bleeding I can barely stand myself I saw your face, but it couldn't save me I fell from grace, and I cracked your smile Don't rescue me, I can't escape it Ravenously, feed my feral mind

The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance He said, "son, when you grow up Would you be the savior of the broken the beaten and the damned?" He said, "will you defeat them? Your demons, and all the non-believers The plans that they have made?" Your memory will carry on We'll carry on And though you're broken and defeated Your weary widow marches On and on, we carry through the fears Disappointed faces of your peers

Change (In the House of Flies) - Deftones And I watched a change in you It's like you never had wings I took you home I pulled off your wings Then I laughed I look at the cross Then I look away

Blood on My Hands - The Used You felt the coldness in my eyes And something I'm not revealing Though you got used to my disguise You can't shake this awful feeling Feel the pain that I never show And I hope you know it's never healing Straight from your eyes, it's barely me Beautifully so disfigured (there's blood) The other side that you can't see Just praying you won't remember There's blood x2 There's blood, blood, blood Is it really that hard for you to believe?

Closer - Nine Inch Nails You let me violate you You let me desecrate you You let me penetrate you You let me complicate you (Help me) I broke apart my insides (Help me) I've got no soul to sell (Help me) the only thing that works for me Help me get away from myself I wanna feel you from the inside My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to God You can have my isolation You can have the hate that it brings You can have my absence of faith You can have my everything (Help me) tear down my reason I drink the honey Inside your hive You are the reason I stay alive

Devil in a Midnight Mass - Billy Talent I was alive, but now I'm singing (Silent night) for the rest of my life x2 (Violent knight) at the edge of your knife ("Forgive me father") won't make it right A devil in a midnight mass Killed the boy inside the man The holy water in his hands Can never wash away his sins Put my trust in God that day Not the man that taught his way Whisper, whisper, don't make a sound Your bed is made, it's in the ground

Cirice - Ghost I feel your presence amongst us You cannot hide in the darkness A candle casting a faint glow You and I see eye to eye Now there is nothing between us From now our merge is eternal Can't you see that you're lost? Can't you see that you're lost without me?

Ritual - Ghost Tonight, we're summoned for a divine cause Remembrance, no, but for their future loss This chapel of ritual smells of dead human sacrifices for the altar On this night of ritual, invoking our master To procreate the unholy bastard "Our Father who art in Hell Unhallowed be Thy name Cursed be the sons and daughters Of Thine nemesis whom are to blame"

This is How I Disappear - My Chemical Romance To explain the unforgivable Drain all the blood and give the kids a show Who walks among the famous living dead Drowns all the boys and girls inside your bed Well, heaven knows That without you is how I disappear And live my life alone, forever now Can you hear me cry out to you? Words I thought I'd choke on, figure out And now You wanna see how far down I can sink Let me go, fuck

Pet - A Perfect Circle Head down, go to sleep Pay no mind what other voices say They don't care about you, like I do (like I do) Safe from pain, and truth, and choice And other poison devils See, they don't give a fuck about you Like I do I'll be the one to protect you from Your enemies and all your demons I'll be the one to protect you from A will to survive and a voice of reason I'll be the one to protect you from Your enemies and your choices, son They're one in the same, I must isolate you Isolate and save you from yourself Swaying to the rhythm of the new world order and Counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums The boogeymen are coming x2

Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums - A Perfect Circle (This song has the same lyrics as the previous track, just more ambient/discordant.) Go back to sleep Go to sleep

Lullaby - A Perfect Circle (This song is also related to the tracks above. It's ambient and discordant.)

Spiders - Slipknot Well, you can go in alone, or keep it in between The pages of the books you burn so no one gets to read The fingers pull your stitches tight, but knowing someone's secret is not enough Everyone's a little bit a lot of the time Who is food and who is thrown away? When now is not the time, tomorrow disagrees But your real world isn't ready to face the face behind the real me Go in alone, suffer for your feelings, I'm not enough But everyone's a little bitter all of the time

(sic) - Slipknot Here comes the pain Enemy, show me what you wanna be I can handle anything, even if I can't handle you Readily, either way it better be Don't you fuckin' pity me, get up, get off What the hell am I sayin'? I don't know about malevolent Sure as hell decadent, I want somebody to step up, step off Get a grip, don't let me slip 'til I drop the ball Fuck this shit, I'm sick of it You're goin' down, this is a war Fuck it Who the fuck am I to criticize your twisted state of mind? You're leaving me suspect, I'm leaving you grotesque Feels like a burn from which you never learn Cause and effect, you jealous ass Press your face against the glass, suffer You can't kill me 'cause I'm already inside you x4

Rotting in Vain - Korn Repulsion evades me, I say goodbye Digging deep inside of me, getting past this agony I can't seem to get away Another day rotting in vain I can't take this

Duality - Slipknot I push my fingers into my eyes It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache But it's made of all the things I have to take Jesus, it never ends, it works its way inside If the pain goes on I have screamed until my veins collapsed I've waited as my time's elapsed Now, all I do is live with so much hate My future seems like one big past You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice If the pain goes on, I'm not gonna make it Put me back together or separate the skin from bone Leave me all the pieces, then you can leave me alone All I've got, all I've got is insane

Solway Firth - Slipknot They mutter as the body loses warmth They pick your bones like locks inside a tomb And take great care to not take care of you I guess you got what you wanted So I will settle for a slaughterhouse soaked in blood and betrayal It's always somebody else Somebody else was me You want the real smile? Or the one I used to practice Not to feel like a failure? I just want to feel like any other man I won't show you the whole story I won't show you the aftermath Don't look away If I'm alive tomorrow I will alleviate the pressure By cutting you out of me I found my bottom line Dead on the front lines I know I'll never go home While I was learning to live You taught me how to die I guess I got what I wanted Another needle in the back through purified scarification It wasn't somebody else You fucking did it to me You want a real smile? I haven't smiled in years

Eyeless - Slipknot I am my father's son 'cause he's a phantom, a mystery, and that leaves me nothing How many times have you wanted to die? It's too late for me, all you have to do is get rid of me It's all in your head It's all in my head It's all in your head Do you wanna take my life? Better get away from me, stay the fuck away from me Look me in my brand new eye

I'm Not A Vampire (Revamped) - Falling in Reverse Well, I'm not a vampire, but I feel like one Sometimes I sleep all day because I hate the sun My hands are always shaking, body's always aching And whisky seems to be my holy water 'Cause I'm insane, I can feel it in my bones Coursing through my veins, when did I become so cold? For goodness sakes, where is my self-control? If home is where my heart is, then my heart has lost all hope I swear to God, I'm not a So God bless all of you now 'Cause I'm going straight to hell And I'm taking you down with me Because you know damn well So I sharpen my teeth, 'cause I love the way it feels When I sink into your skin and draw the only thing that's real You don't believe me? Should I write it in blood? You better drive that fucking stake right through my heart and try to run I'm a vampire

Disasterpiece - Slipknot You'll never get out of this 'cause you were never alive How does it feel to be locked inside a another dream That never had the chance of being realized? Once again, it's me and no one else I can't remember if there was a someone else It's not mine, it's not fair, it's outta my hands And it's shaking - you'll never take me No one is safe Hate ain't enough to describe me Somewhere between screaming and crying When do I get to know why? I'm gone, goodbye, it's so depressing Withering away Take a look inside, my soul is missing All I have is dead, so I'll take you with me Can't see through the sties in my eyes I'm not supposed to be here I'm not supposed to be Scratching and clawing all the way Is there another way to live? 'Cause it's the only way to die

Mx. Sinister - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME Oh you never seem to notice When I follow you home In the dark of your apartment When you think you're alone Oh you never seem to notice That my heart beats for you So I'll open you up And make yours beat for me, too

Self-Destruction - I Prevail And everything is fucked, and I cannot be saved Maybe that's because I'm on the way Took everything I had and threw it in the flames Watch it burn while they're steady taking aim I guess it came with repercussions I've been in it for a minute, this is not up for discussion All the preconceived premonitions from people who never listen Creating all the division, how can you live with yourself? I'm the definition of coming to a collision The old and the new edition, the hero becomes a villain Now let me tell you a little bit about the Devil, first I am the one Alpha, omega, I won't be undone My power's limitless, you are like Icarus You have been flying too close to the sun I see what's mine, and I'm gonna take it I do what I say, call it dedication I built an army into a nation Now karma is coming, you can't escape it If you don't know the Devil, then you don't know me

Frankenstein - Rina Sawayama Put me together, thread and needle I'm trying to be normal, but trauma is immortal Oh, my God, this is so unbearable Make it stop, this is more than medical I was doing fine 'Til I hit rock bottom Opened up my problems Watch the poison blossom I could be your Frankenstein, Frankenstein I don't wanna be a monster anymore

Dead Until Dark - Powerwolf Prone to the grave, the dark side you walk In the light of morning we fall Confront the brave, the rebel we stalk In the still of the night we awake Don't dare cry, when fever up high No escape, no break, your life we will take Gone with the night When the unholy demons of dawn Pray When the sunlight is dead we're reborn Cursed by our fate, the undead crusade For the sanctum deep under your skin Raise up the blade, by night we invade For the last of times the fight may begin For in blood, in God, in heaven we trust In the night we are Dead until dark

Nighttime Rebel - Powerwolf In the night of surrender In the full moonlight and the midnight came Be the ghostly defender And of glory be thy name In the curse of a nightmare Be the lightning and thunder And ignite the final flame Seven heads, seven demons, seven murders in the sky Take your fate in your hand now, and so we rise up high Nighttime rebel, stand alone against the wind Nighttime rebel, break the holy sin Nighttime rebel, wake up in the night and let begin Nighttime rebel, holy light against the dark Nighttime rebel, bear a holy heart Nighttime rebel, summon in the dawn and let begin In the ongoing darkness Where the sky is torn and belief has failed Be the guide, the pretender And invoke the dreaded rain Like a wolf, like a phantom To the cross bound nail by nail In the curse after midnight When inferno born and the mask unveiled Be the last man unbroken, and in light the one to fade

My Will Be Done - Powerwolf In times of war we strike with sancted power When from the sacristy I rise To bring the final sacrifice Sing words of praise to glorify my name and Stand still Sacrificed to my will Sainted be what I say Preaching My will be done Here and all my life in heaven My will be done Christ our savior bring the sacrament for My will be done

Fire & Forgive - Powerwolf Sons of God and sacrament The night we're dying for Rest in flame by testament At midnight we return Fundamental armament The price we all ignore Bring to fall the last of savior To son of God we swore

Kimdracula - Deftones The earth will see our eyes go blank tonight The earth will rot away Go blank tonight I, I really wish these snakes were your arms

Good God - Korn You came into my life Without a single thing I gave into your ways Which left me with nothing I scream without a sound How could you take away Everything that I was Made me a fucking slave Your face that I despise Your heart inside that's gray I came today to say You're fucked in every way Won't you get the fuck out of my face now? You stole my life Without a sign You sucked me dry

Bloodbath & Beyond - Ice Nine Kills It's been six days since I've had my fix and now I'm fixed on you Despite your trembling body, I can tell you want it too I'm every man you've ever dreamed of, all your fantasies combined You can tell I'm the best by the blood on your dress, there's no bite as good as mine Through the darkest of ages and blackest of plagues I have fed on the blood of the land Every girl that's in sight knows she's mine for the night They're all trapped in the palm of my hand I've crossed oceans of time, caused unspeakable crime But I wouldn't change a bloody thing Hunted by all mankind but they're one step behind "Prince of Darkness"? Fuck that, I'm the king And I'm slipping through the cracks again They'll never take me alive because I'm already dead And forever in your head So won't you come with me and taste immortality You're dripping from the ecstasy of one last crimson kiss When your blood pours out like rain Take pleasure in the pain You're not the only girl to scream my name, but the first I can't resist So here's one last crimson kiss Don't think of this as damnation 'Cause we don't need their salvation Your neck is up next

The Greatest Story Ever Told - Ice Nine Kills How could this happen? Am I dreaming again? Her body's not moving, I'm assuming she's dead She's covered in bruises but the truth is that I never committed the crime Time to burn and dig the whites of my eyes But, what went on that night? "Listen closely as I tell you I'm not who I seem I'm gonna touch you 'cause I like it when you scream I wanna watch you when you're sleeping and thinking of me" And that's what he told her as he killed her Don't believe what he says, he's not real It's murder and he did it My God (hear me) You better fear me 'cause I'm gonna find you Last night I dreamed we had a future and you were alive It was springtime on our wedding day, there were birds in the sky The sun was glowing, it was beautiful and everyone was there I still can't believe that you're gone, I'm so lost I'm sorry (I'm sorry) Don't go Oh please, God no 'Cause you'll be lying awake From this nightmare and feel betrayed I gave my life And you took it away "Am I dead? Or am I still breathing?"

The Coffin Is Moving - Ice Nine Kills I'm holding my life in my hands And you're holding your views of the world Around never knowing Just make me whole again 'Cause I'm a soldier for misfortune But I believe we can turn it around This memory, the final enemy now We are, we are the walking dead A generation of negligence brought down upon our heads

The Fastest Way To A Girl's Heart Is Through Her Ribcage - Ice Nine Kills There's blood here in the water as I'm slowly losing grip 'Cause your insanity, it's killing me What's inside you is inherently sick Now that the blood is getting darker You drown in your true colors and just the truth remains All you are is a masquerade You always had a way of creeping in my life You're always so inclined to tear apart my mind Is it difficult to breathe with your fate wrapped around your throat?

The Product of Hate - Ice Nine Kills This world is spiralling down The segregation of everything Is the source of the blood on the walls It's passed down by generation This hatred could swallow us all A story told so full of holes Just allows the lies to breathe And to leach into the heart Of the disillusioned and the weak And I'll pray to God we make it out alive I see through this illusion But what's the solution if all that they see is what's different in me? There's a hole in my heart nobody can see It feels like the sun is gone and hope is locked away There's a hole in my heart, why can't they see? God unstitch their eyes please I hope tomorrow's not too late 'Cause today's time is running out Don't turn your back you know it's real So wake up, 'cause something's wrong There's something wrong

Connect the Cuts - Ice Nine Kills Well I've been looking for redemption What was gold, now is lost to the wolves As the choler inside swells like locusts swarm With little faith in a God or humanity, I'm lost Sometimes I think to myself "you should burn, motherfucker, burn" There's no truth in resting on laurels Or the blindfold of crooked ideals and morals On and on 'til the end, the serpents in my head Will show themselves through the whites of my eyes If all is lost again, will I repeat or repent? Or will I realize the Devil's in disguise? I'll fucking self-destruct Well, I've been bitten by temptation Body of rust and a cynical soul I can't seem to fend off all the vermin I hear the Devil, he's calling Fuck Doubt has dragged me down to rock bottom this time Despite the weight on my shoulders, I continue to climb In my final hours, towards a higher power to find I'm damaged by design I can't believe it was so difficult to see That all along my only enemy was me

Jonathan - Ice Nine Kills God has taken my eyes If I see no reflection How the hell do I know I'm alive? As the darkness bleeds into my mind The force that screams to give up Is grave enough to crave my name into stone Inspired by hope or defined by disease? If you knew what it meant to be me Could you close your eyes and never say "never"? Or would you call this the end of the road? I'm running out of memories, a shell of what I used to be As this curse drains the life out of me

Communion Of The Cursed - Ice Nine Kills So where's your savior tonight? As angels fall from the sky His idle hands let me inside Where I cannot be crucified Forgive me father, have I sinned? Who gives a fuck how long it's been? Just let his holy war begin I am the darkness deep within The devil in her daughter's skin And I'll be there 'til the bitter end In the name of God I command you to flee Relentlessly, 'cause we believe By the power of Christ we will set her free You spent your life in his light Still faith can't save you tonight Yet evil stands the test of time I cannot be crucified Pass the cup and drink from me instead Savor the taste and quench your thirst With the communion of the cursed Get on your knees and prove your worth I will cast him out (his grip is weakening) Cast him out (this is his day of reckoning) Through the father, the son, and the holy ghost I will lure this parasite from its wholesome host Eternally, my last decree If a soul must be taken, I demand you take me "Now I lay her down to sleep Her soul is mine, and mine to keep If she dies before she wakes I'll find another soul to take"

Me, Myself & Hyde - Ice Nine Kills I tear apart the pages of the story of my life In black and white, the wrong and right will struggle to survive And I've been falling apart in the pouring rain I'm waging war on myself, a captive casualty Traded a merciful heart for a murderer's brain But now I curse what's in my head Because I can't stop seeing red Did you really think I would falter, my friend? I've destroyed you before, I'll destroy you again I'm the hell that is your future, I'll incinerate your past I'm the devil on your shoulder, but I'll always be your better half We might share one body But this spine is fucking mine By now you should know You're just a spectator, I'm the show Is this the end of me? I bid thee farewell Fuck my fate Just save a seat for me in hell

Cheers To Goodbye (feat. Spencer Charnas) - Escape the Fate, Ice Nine Kills, Spencer Charnas Losing myself, put you through hell I've been fuckin' actin' up too much Tell me that you've had enough I fall apart, you don't look surprised Think I need some fuckin' therapy Figure out what's wrong with me So come gather 'round, you can watch my demise Been living too long in this fuckin' disguise Consuming every substance I can find You can laugh at my life, it's a joke, it's a lie It's time for the moment you've all been waiting for Step the fuck up because the final act of the evening is here A vanishing act, the likes of which you have never seen Count down with me Three, two, one So kiss me goodbye, say goodnight Hold back your tears, don't you cry Which would be worse? To live as a monster or die as a hero tonight

DAMAGED (feat. Spencer Charnas) - In This Moment, Ice Nine Kills, Spencer Charnas I wish there was a way for me to put this into words All these feelings that I have as I start to lose control I feel panic rushin' over me and grippin' at my chest And no matter what I say or do, I know that it won't rest I feel my vision fade, sweat drippin' down my back I can hear my heart pound, I can feel my mind crack And I know that you love me and you wanna save me now In the end of it all, you can't save me from myself The more I try to fight it, he grows stronger every time Post-traumatic stress, yeah, that's what my doctor said So when I think of dying, I just gotta take a breath

Funeral Derangements - Ice Nine Kills Slave to the plot Let 'em rot Or bring 'em back forever They say "Behind those gates, eternal life awaits" But those beyond the grave, come back beyond depraved With church bells ringing, I'll start digging We pray to thee our God (it's all my fault) For the blessing you've provided I'll see you on the other side But I'd kill to bring you back tonight Don't give up, don't let go I'll make this right I'll dig through sorrow and disgust Ashes to ashes, dust to dust They say that time heals all But I won't heed the call Buried in misery Spare me the eulogy Still, I can't escape this struggle Driven when push comes to shovel Whether God's hand or my own Nothing here is set in stone The flesh is living but the souls have spoiled The wrath of God lays beneath this soil

Enjoy Your Slay - Ice Nine Kills Plagued by the past And down a badly beaten path A mess of a man, his fate unknown He can't give up but can't go on like this Oh, I'm not gonna hurt you I'm just gonna bash your fucking brains in Now the fun has just begun And one by one your wife and son Hang in the web you've spun as family ties come undone Come drain or shine, I'll hit your whole bloodline A chopping spree around the family tree Where you can hang once all work is done

Love Bites - Ice Nine Kills, Chelsea Talmadge It's tearing me apart, but it's us or them So howl at the moon, oh, how can it be? The softer the skin, the sharper the teeth I've fallen prey to a curse I can't disown Is it all in my head? Blood on the hands of a man so filled with doubt I'm counting on beauty to kill off the beast So just put me down

The World In My Hands - Ice Nine Kills, Tony Lovato How'd I end up here? So uncomfortable I'm a stranger in this body The world's an ugly place And that's a fact that fate has brought me So tell the town below As death took hold You watched helplessly But to hell with letting go 'Cause when it snows It falls to you from me

Hypnosis - Sleep Token Lift, oh, lift me out Of my own skin Of all my doubt Take from me Leave nothing left Take everything Sink, sink your teeth Split my skin, no Just make me bleed Oh, and give me Give me all All that I want You know you hypnotize me always (x6) And I am almost under

Stabbing In The Dark - Ice Nine Kills When the hands of fate Fall on the midnight hour Behind this mask of hate I don the Devil's power These are the Devil's eyes I'll haunt you day after day Knife after knife Taking life after life You can't kill the boogeyman I am the shadow where there once was light Strangling all signs of life

Headache - Motionless in White Some days I try to speak with pins and needles in my brain Some days I feel sadistic, a portrait of my pain Some days I live in fear that I am every fucking thing I hate I know that I'm gonna be fine Oh God, am I gonna be fine? Bright lights, am I dead or alive? So insane I'm losing my mind I made a deal with the devil inside Decay and follow me down, under skin, I am doubt Feeding the flies in your mouth through my eyes I swear that I'm gonna be fine

Mephisto - Crystal Lake You've got nothing left, you're as good as dead Pay the price to be welcomed to hell Now it's time to pay the price, this is a death sentence Your soul is mine Love and hate, you got everything you wanted Price to pay, your fate is already sealed Be prepared, the gates of hell lie waiting In despair, I wanna hear you scream It's too late to repent, you got what you deserve When the clock strikes, you'll be torn apart, damned in hell I've waited for this moment for four and twenty years He won't come to save you, no one will hear you scream Oh, you are mine

Curse - Crystal Lake Our time is up, we're dehumanized You took our hearts out, lobotomized Are we so weak? You set the bridge on fire Too late, you've gone too far, dead end Checkmate, congrats, you won this game But will it be the end of our nightmare? I'm all alone Burning my soul as I'm losing myself All alone, on my own Life, is it a gift or curse? Saw him taking another soul above the sky They left a thousand stories untold Broken dreams make memories shine in gold The harder we try, the deeper we fall We'll burn away when the sun rises up This road is paved with bricks of broken dreams Stand all, walk through this hell with me

Trigger - In Flames I am running from something I don't know I am searching for something, which way to go? I am trying to separate what's real I'm running in a wheel Please tell me my name I haven't checked it today

The Quiet Place - In Flames Spinning further deeper I know you're out to try me I'm not in this to be a slave I push the dirt Make me feel Drown the monster Make all bad dreams go away Whatever it takes to keep your hands free Open scars The quiet place All the bridges fall to the ground And you say you sacrificed And then I close my eyes (x2)

Do Or Die - Magnolia Park, Ethan Ross (warning: flashing images in the video) I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die young It's a fight to survive, we're suicidal I walk in the building to burn it, setting a fire they all getting murdered I'm feeling my demons returning, fuck up again and I guess I'm not learning Got the opposition nervous, y'all are really only tough on the surface I'm living through all of these curses, bringing the pain and they know that I'm hurting Not affectionate, my face is still expressionless Take his head off clean, sleepy hollow I'm collecting it Messing with a king, hit the dirt, you gon' rest in it I'm meant for this, you try to take it from me blow your head to bits It's do or die We live to fight so Don't let me drown, don't let me drown It's flooding in my mind I think I got a problem why I'm always in my head Really going back to my old ways, running so low on the tolerance, all of the stress I'm going back and forth, slamming my fists, I'm losing it again All of the hate makes it feel like love and I can't even trust any of my friends, damn No remedy for all this pain We live to fight so come try me

Kool-Aid - Bring Me The Horizon (warning: flashing images in the video) Is this what you wanted? (no) So suffer your fate, oh, come here and give me a hug Nobody loves you like I love you, oh, my dear But you should've known that it was gonna end in tears Such a sucker for an execution The void is a vampire, fat on our blood While they try their hand at playing God Afraid there's no cure I got my (hands around your throat, I love the way you choke) 'Cause I am yours and you are mine, I'll never let you go I'll never let you go Get the fuck up That this was gonna end in tears

Running In Circles - Dead Poet Society Feel like I'm never enough Slowly coming undone, yeah I run in circles Get back, get back, get away Watch me try hard anyway It's all fake, the self-hate's killing me I know that I'm not that And I'm sick of pretending So sick of pretending I need to run away Soon I'll be just like the others Hide my face No one knows it's pulling me under Feels like I'm running in circles Feels like I'm running, running, oh I'm fucked up and I can't see straight I'm so sick of pretending, oh That I'm someone and something I'm not So I'm back where I started Falling apart

Watch The World Burn - Falling In Reverse Yeah, I got voices in my head again, tread carefully I got problems, I got issues, yeah, apparently Trauma that I'm burying, I think I need some therapy I'm past the point of no return, fuck being passive-aggressive I'll brandish a weapon, teach all of you motherfuckers a lesson They swim in the deep, and they creep in the shallows, I'm lost They're licking their chops, they're fixing to rip me apart, I'm swimming with sharks You started a battle, bitch, I'ma finish it 'Cause I got enemies trying to get rid of me Evil tendencies are fucking with me mentally I can't control the monster any longer that's inside The pain and sorrow left us hollow No tomorrows hard to swallow Death is calling so appalling Tightrope walking, now I'm falling down The pain inside is the fuel that drives The flesh and bones through blood-red skies The death defying, hypnotizing One day you're gonna figure out that Everything they taught you was a lie Watch the world burn The fear is what keeps you alive Break the fucking chains, take back your life The fear is what keeps you insane Break the fucking chains, take away the pain

[flecks-of-stardust]

Everyone’s Favorite Moth God: Dreamless AU

radi post!!!!!! because i couldnt write today but i still wanted to make Something

- the radiance is about average when it comes to age among dream beings. she’s nowhere near the age of the oldest dream beings, but she’s much older than unn. she watched unn establish her domain while her moths had long since settled in, and didn’t really say anything about unn putting her domain this close to hers.

- she chills in the dream realm most of the time, and visits the mortal realm through the dreams of mortal bugs, both her followers and non-followers alike. she Can manifest herself a physical form to move about in the physical world if she really wants to, but it takes a fair bit of sustained focus and effort for her to do it, and it’s a hassle she’s not really interested in.

- more often, she will channel her presence through one of her moths. they allow her to see through their eyes, so she can directly view the mortal world through them, and she can temporarily take control of their body. this is taxing for both god and mortal, though, so she doesn’t do it often, and only uses it in case of emergencies or when she needs her presence to be there, physically, in the mortal realm.

- the few moths that are able to channel their god through them are called the Seers, and it is more innate connection than training. it is possible for one to train to become a Seer, but it is a long process of grasping at the purest threads of godly essence and attuning to the radiance. a few notable moths have achieved this feat regardless.

- the radiance’s domain is over light and to some extent heat. she influences daylight and cycle lengths, and is often described by non-followers when she appears in their dreams as ‘a massive, radiant orb of light and warmth.’ while in the dream realm, she is able to see and touch the dreams of mortals (where their minds brush briefly against the dream realm, spinning and spiraling senselessly due to the mortal mind’s inability to grasp at the dream realm), and can use her light to gently guide them away from the nightmare realm (a subset of the dream realm where nightmares are rife). she isn’t able to stop nightmares completely, and doing so would render the nightmare gods weak, but she can guide certain minds away from the nightmare realm.

- due to the radiance being more connected to the dream realm, it is possible to use light magic to access the minds of creatures, sentient or not. even then it is a difficult feat, and must be carefully used, lest the wielder be stranded in the veil between the dreams of mortals and the lucid world. few moths ever attempted such a feat, and those that did often spoke of feeling a loss of identity after exploring the mind of another.

- as an individual, the radiance generally stays out of mortal matters, watching distantly from the dream realm and receiving information from her moths as they commune with her. however, she is quick to anger about injustice among her moths and followers, but also among other populations if her moths report the information to her. she has a tendency to be brash in her actions, though it is perhaps apt in that she is the embodiment of light and warmth and as such is passionate about what she does.

- the radiance harbors a slight protectiveness over unn, however minor. she is of the opinion that gods should not mingle too much, and is well aware of the results of godly warfare, but she does in part view unn as a sort of younger sister, due to her immensely young age for a god. she keeps her interactions with unn cordial, but is and always will be the first to speak out for her in the event that anything happens to harm her or her people.

- the radiance and her moths have a weak neural linking of sorts, enabling them to somewhat share thoughts and emotions through those links; this neural link does not extend to non-moth followers. it fades with physical distance, and even at close proximity is limited in what information can be shared. in the height of their rule, the moths would utilize the link to send out scouting parties into the lands, and have them send information back through the links, however fractured and garbled, to the moths back at their homeland; the information would later be consolidated through speech.

- the radiance is able to speak, especially if she has a physical presence in the mortal realm, but her voice always has an echo effect to it. it multiplies and layers over itself, and is disconcerting for mortals to listen to. if not careful, the echoing of her voice can cause immense pain to mortals; godly beings are typically spared from this, though the echoing may still be unnerving.

- in her natural state, the radiance emanates a soft, yellow glow, bright but not searing to look at. she also naturally produces warmth, always a comfortable temperature for whoever is basking in it. when in pain, angry, or fearful, her light intensifies and becomes nearly blinding, and the color darkens from yellow to orange. the heat she produces will also get uncomfortably warm, sometimes even burning anyone too close to her. when Seeing through the eyes of one of her moths, she has to be careful with how much of herself she is channeling through them, or she may severely wound them.

- she was irate when she heard of the pale wyrm’s arrival next to her lands, and even more so when she learned that he had set up a kingdom there. she monitored him and his activity with great disgust and wariness, dipping into the dreams of his citizens to check on what was actually going on behind the guise of glamor. when news of unn dying reached her, she forced her way into the mind of the pale wyrm and demanded that he leave. the two sparred briefly in his dreams, but the battle ultimately ended with no winners. after that, the radiance began trying to break his spell on his people by entering their dreams and showing them the truth.

- she was distraught and enraged when the wyrm began killing her moths, and aided them where she could, but her general lack of presence in the mortal realm ultimately limited what she could help with. when they fled deeper into their caverns, she assisted them with her magic in collapsing the tunnels they used.

- a physical form of the radiance was sealed into the mind of the Pure Vessel. few know about this fact. as per the events of dreamless, she is slowly, but surely, dying. even in her death throes, she is still reaching out for the minds she can feel, and inadvertently presses her pain and fear into them. her communication with her moths has been severed due to how close to death she is, though she tries to scream for them anyway.

and as a closing remark, dreamless is solidly radi-sympathetic. that was the whole original basis for this au, actually, so if youre looking to bash on radi, maybe pick a different au to do it sfkjghks

[spaceskam]

I’m Not Afraid of Anything

Summary: 6 times Alex is strong and 1 time Michael has to be strong for him

warnings: violence, anxiety, homophobic language

ao3

.1.

Michael couldn’t help but smile as Alex moaned into his mouth.

He wasn’t used to this just yet, it still felt surreal. One day Alex was asking him to tutor him in biology, the next he was being kissed senseless against the wall in the shed behind his house. He’d never even kissed a human before Alex. Now he couldn’t get enough.

“What time did you tell your mom you’d be home?” Alex asked softly, his nose bumping Michael’s before he kissed his cheek and moved to his jaw.

“Um,” Michael whispered, his eyes fluttering closed to the feeling of Alex’s lips on his skin, “F-five, I think. Could probably, uh, um, push it to five-thirty.”

“Mmm, good,” Alex said, a lazy smirk on his face as he flipped them over so Michael was on top. Heat rose to his cheeks. Alex usually took the lead, usually stayed on top. But, when Alex’s hands pressed against his ass and pulled his hips impossibly close, he got the memo. 

It was so weird. His entire life he’d been told to be careful with humans. When the Antarians had fled their wartorn planet in the 40s, they’d landed on Earth to a different kind of chaos. Michael didn’t know too much about how it got to a safe-ish integration, but he’d seen enough 50s and 60s propaganda films on ‘How to Treat Our Antar Friends’. It was enough to know it wasn’t an entirely positive transition.

While there was no longer forced segregation, it still seemed to happen on its own. Michael’s neighborhood didn’t have a single human‒Alex’s didn’t have a single Antarian. Workplaces were hell. Antarians got paid less, they got passed on promotions, they had to fight their way to the top. Michael’s mother, as high as her position was being deputy city manager, had warned him of that. In the schools, most classes conveniently didn’t mix if they didn’t have to and most of the time they didn’t even communicate with their species. Well, unless it was to be rude. Michael understood that better than anyone.

It was virtually impossible to keep what species you were a secret. It was displayed on every legal document, including your license. Antarian children in elementary and middle school had “special time” where they would be taken for two hours a day and given what could only be described as group therapy. No matter how their powers manifested, no matter if they had never been violent a day in their life, they were still given group lectures about why they shouldn’t hurt people and how they should treat humans. Once they were in high school, that transformed into a required four years of Ability Training instead of normal electives in high school.

Michael was lucky. His mother started training him the minute his powers started to manifest as a baby. After she bitched at the school for unfair treatment, he was able to test out after freshman year, leaving him able to take actual electives like music.

Which is how he met Alex.

“Alex?” Michael whispered, melting into the feather-light kisses fluttering across his jaw and his neck and his shoulder. Alex’s hand mindlessly slipped between them and unbuttoned Michael’s jeans.

“Yeah, baby?” Alex asked, his hand dipping into Michael’s boxers. It may or may not have completely destroyed his train of thought, his head bowing against Alex’s collarbone.

Eventually, he got his thoughts back, though it took much more effort than he wanted to admit.

“Are you sure you don’t mind that I’m an alien?” he breathed out and Alex froze beneath him.  He very quickly pulled his head back to see Alex staring at him with nothing short of amusement.

“Michael.” His tone was so sweet and so soft that Michael almost missed how condescending it was. “My hand literally down your pants right now. Do you think it would be there if I had a problem?”

Michael felt his cheeks flush and he shifted a little bit which was genuinely a horrible idea due to the fact that Alex’s hand was still wrapped around him.

“I just don’t want you to get trouble,” he whispered. While it wasn’t illegal for aliens and humans to be together, it was relatively frowned upon and it also wasn’t exactly fun to be openly queer either. They’d have double targets on their backs. Alex didn’t deserve that.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” Alex said, completely ignoring his words as he went to kiss his neck. Michael reluctantly pulled away.

“But what about your dad?” Michael asked. He knew Alex’s dad was the worst. He was an outspoken advocate for Antarians not being allowed in the same school as humans or even on TV. He didn’t want his children to be exposed to them. Yet, Alex didn’t seem to share that sentiment.

Alex pulled away, looking at him with those penetrating eyes that made his stomach swoop and tie in a million knots. They were eyes that could kill, but eyes that made him feel more welcome and adored than anything else in the world.

“You’re worth the risk,” Alex said like it was easy. Michael let out a slow breath of air, taking in his words. His sweet, adoring words. You’re worth the risk.

Michael tried to move in for a kiss, but Alex’s hand grabbed his jaw and stopped him.

“Am I?” Alex demanded, his voice deep and hushed and making Michael’s head spin. The grip on his jaw got a little gentler, his calloused thumb rubbing across his cheek.

“Yes.”

He couldn’t say no if he wanted to.

.2.

“Is there a reason you’re hitting someone who is too nice to hit back?”

Michael had never been more thankful to see Alex than he was at that moment. Wyatt Long had him pinned to the locker, his forearm wedged beneath his chin. His lip was already split after the rude welcoming of a fist to the face the moment he, Max, and Isobel went their separate ways.

“What? And you are?” Wyatt asked, pulling away and letting Michael crumple to the ground. He watched up with a new kind of fear as Wyatt neared Alex. Though this happened relatively regularly and Alex had swooped in to save not only him but a handful of other Antarians from human assholes, it always made Michael nervous. He knew Alex didn’t care, but he had enough scars and bruises that doused his skin. He didn’t like seeing more.

“Oh, c’mon, you know I am. How many times do I have to send you to the nurse before you learn your lesson? It’s honestly pretty sad,” Alex said, smirking as his shoulders squared. Michael wanted to get to his feet, to stand up for himself, but he didn’t have it in him. Alex was brave and he wasn’t. The end.

“Are you gay or somethin’?” Wyatt accused. Alex licked his bottom lip as he took a step closer.

“Why, you interested?”

Michael watched in horror as Wyatt shoved Alex away and Alex responded by decking him in the face.  He scrambled to his feet and out of the way just in time for Alex to slam Wyatt into the lockers, a carbon copy of how Wyatt had just had him.

“Learn your fuckin’ place, Long,” Alex said in a sweet tone, shaking his head before he offered one last push and stepped away. Wyatt kept glaring but never tried anything as Alex picked up Michael’s bag off the ground and led the way.

“Alex, he could’ve hurt you,” Michael grumbled as he followed him to the music room. A few people gave them glances, but none stayed too long. The moment Alex glared their way, they’d look away. Michael had a lot of feelings about that.

“I’d like to see him try. I grew up with three brothers who regularly beat the shit out of me. I’m not gonna stop ‘til I win, especially when it’s that asshole. You should’ve heard what he said to Maria the other day. Like, he’s, like, a next-level racist and homophobe and xenophobe. Let me hit him a couple of times,” Alex insisted, closing the door to the music room after him.

“I just… I don’t want you doing that stuff because of me,” Michael said, crossing his arms over his chest. Alex smiled, nearing him and gently touching the cut on Michael’s lip.

“I know you don’t like it, but I don’t like seeing you hurt. I know you, I know you just take what he gives. And that’s so fucking strong of you to do, it’s ballsy, but… he deserves to get hit. You don’t,” Alex explained, moving to give him a kiss that stung a little but still felt nice. Alex’s kisses were always nice. “But, hey, look, if you want me to stop, then I will. Seriously. As much as I hate it, I will.”

“No, you don’t have to completely stop helping me. Just… just don’t instigate him more, please?” Michael asked, letting his hands rest against Alex’s chest. They’d be alone in the room for at least 5 more minutes, he could touch for just a second.

“Done,” Alex agreed, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before pulling him into a hug. Michael melted into his grasp. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“You’re telekinetic. I’ve seen you in action. You could literally crush him. Why don’t you do anything?” Alex asked, twirling a curl around his finger. Michael breathed slowly, hugging him a little tighter.

“And give them a reason to hate me even more? No thanks,” he grumbled. Alex laughed and squeezed him.

In some ways, Alex felt a little like his idol. He was so strong and didn’t care about what anyone said. He didn’t have many friends, but Michael knew all the Antarians in the school liked him. He took everything in stride. He was amazing. He was a hero.

And somehow he wanted Michael.

.3.

“What’s wrong with you?” Isobel asked, swatting Michael’s hand away from his mouth so he’d stop chewing on his nails. He barely even looked at her.

Instead, his eyes were trained on Alex’s locker which had the words ‘alien fag’ written across it in bright red paint.

Alex hadn’t gotten to school yet, but Michael was dreading it. He couldn’t predict how he would react to it. Maybe he would laugh or maybe he’d be pissed. It was just something that a little too close to home. No one was supposed to know about them, but this…

“Oh, yeah, his locker. It’s so stupid how people think being nice is some big crime,” she scoffed, shaking her head. Michael curled into himself even more.

“But… but what if‒” Michael cut himself off, groaning as his head tilted back against the lockers. Isobel slammed hers closed, turning to him with a smirk.

“Why? You think that’s about you?” she laughed. Michael felt his cheeks flush and he was instantly reminded of the night before when Alex had snuck in through his window after his parents had gone to sleep. It was definitely about him even if they didn’t know it was about him. He didn’t know how he was supposed to continue keeping it a secret when everyone would be giving him glances. “No offense, Michael, but Alex wouldn’t go after someone like you. He’s, like, a badass. He would only go after badasses and, I love you, but you’re a baby.”

“Yeah, no, you’re right. Definitely. He-he definitely would never, ever hook up with me. Ever. Absolutely. And, and I would never even want to. I mean, he’s so, like, not my type?” Michael fumbled out, his cheeks burning hotter with each word. Isobel’s eyebrows pulled together, but then her lips parted slowly as her eyes widened.

”No,” she gasped, swatting at his arm all over again, “Oh my God! Michael!”

“He’s here,” Michael said once he spotted Alex, hoping to drop the conversation. Maybe she’d forget it. He hoped so.

Alex walked down the hall with Liz and Maria, the trio laughing until they weren’t. It died down when the locker came into view. Michael tried his best to become one with the lockers when Alex took a step closer, touching the paint. He couldn’t see his face and he was slightly more than terrified to see it.  Especially when his friends looked at each other with nervous eyes.

“Michael, come on, what the fuck have you been hiding?” Isobel urged, pulling on his sleeve like a toddler. His eyes were on Alex.

Alex who opened the locker and got his books like it wasn’t a big deal.

“Alex, are you okay?” Maria asked him, reaching out to touch his arm. He turned around with an amused smile on his face.

“I’m fine. They have no creativity, it’s honestly sad,” he said simply, linking arms with them and proudly making his way down the hall. He gave Michael a wink when he passed. Jesus Christ.

“Michael,” Isobel whined.

“I-I gotta go to class,” he said, slipping away from her. He couldn’t understand why Alex took it that easy. Shouldn’t he have been insulted? Or at least scared? What would happen if someone found out about them because of this? He seemed to not be taking it seriously.

Michael pulled out his phone and quickly sent a text his way.

M: are you actually okay? What if someone finds out?

A: I'm fine dont worry no ones gonna know. See you after school? ;) xx

.4.

Michael knew Alex well. They spent most of their time together and Michael had learned just how ballsy he could be. Alex was bold and unapologetically himself. He existed somewhere between “I don’t care what you think of me” and “well if you’re going to talk, I might as well give you something to talk about”. He was an instigator at his core. So Michael really shouldn’t have been surprised when, after a weekend of barely hearing from him, Alex strolled into school sporting t-shirt with alien fag written across it in the colors of the rainbow.

“Holy shit,” Isobel gasped and Michael instantly used her as a shield as the halls parted like the Red Sea to make way for Alex Manes. For the first time since Alex approached him the first time, Michael was scared of him.

Alex didn’t deserve the ostracization that came with being with him, but Michael didn’t deserve to be forced into it either. It was one thing if it was a mutual decision or if it was an accident. This was neither. This was Alex parading proudly what people already suspected when people knew how many times he’d come to Michael’s rescue. This was too close.

Panic built in his chest.

“Izzy, Izzy, get me out of here,” he begged, squeezing her shoulder desperately. She barely had to give him a second glance before she gripped his hand and swept him away.

It seemed to get harder and harder to breathe, even when they exited the building and fast-walked to make it to the back of the gym before he got too bad. The moment they made it there, he sat on the ground and put his hands on his head. Isobel sat in front of him, holding his knees as they breathed in and out in time together.

“I take it he did not consult you before doing that?” she asked quietly once he regulated his breathing again. Michael shook his head.

“No. I don’t know why he does stuff like that. I-I get that he doesn’t care and that’s cool and all, I like that about him, but that… that affects me. I’m not ready to tell anyone yet,” he murmured, pulling his knees close.

“So you admit that you’re banging Alex Manes?” Isobel teased. Michael glared her way. “Sorry, sorry. Maybe you should talk to him about it.”

“And say what? ‘Hey, you’re really confident and, while that makes me want to fuck you, when you’re overconfident about me, it makes me want to die in a hole’?” Michael scoffed, but from her lack of reaction, she expected him to say just that. “I can’t say that!”

“Why not? It’s honest.”

“Honesty is just gonna get me dumped,” he grumbled. Isobel gave him a sad little smile, squeezing his knee gently.

They were only able to get a few extra seconds of silence before Alex rounded the corner, smiling easily when he caught Michael’s eyes. He spared Isobel a hesitant look before nearing them with that confident swagger that was making Michael feel nauseous.

“There you are,” he grinned, sitting beside him. Michael closed his eyes and bowed his head. “Everything okay?”

“I’m gonna leave you two to talk,” Isobel said, patting his leg and kissing the top of his head before she stood and left. He stupidly wished she hadn’t.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Alex asked softly once Isobel was gone, wrapping his arm around Michael’s shoulders. What was he supposed to say? He wasn’t Alex, he wasn’t confident. How was he supposed to tell him that he wanted him to stop being so much of himself? “You… you don’t like the shirt, right? I’m sorry, I’ll change.”

How did he say that’s not all?

“Okay, thank you,” Michael whispered instead, still not lifting his head.

Alex waited a minute before grabbing his chin and forcing him to look at him. It made it that much harder. Alex was beautiful and had a demanding presence. How was he supposed to hurt his feelings when he looked like that?

“Alright, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, so we’re lying now? I thought we were all about honesty,” Alex scoffed, narrowing his eyes at him.  Michael gulped, familiar tears welling up in his eyes. He was such a baby. Alex was so cool and he was… “Michael, talk to me, seriously.”

“I don’t like when you do stuff like that without talking to me. I-It’s gonna make people start finding out about us and I’m not ready for that. I’m not ready for people to know. At least not people who are going to make it their goal to hate me more. You-you scare me sometimes, when you do stuff like that. I like when you’re confident. I just… don’t like it when it puts me in a bad situation,” Michael grumbled, looking everywhere except for his face. Alex’s grip loosened before it dropped.

Michael hesitantly looked at him to see him looking almost confused. Go figure the one time he actually admits when something bothers him, it goes bad. It’ll always go bad, that’s how life works. Everything goes bad.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that,” Alex said softly, mirroring Michael’s position against the wall. Again, his breathing started to pick up and his bottom lip quivered involuntarily.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just-”

“No, no, hey, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you more before I do shit. That’s what a relationship is, right? Talking it out, talking before we do things. And I know that we aren’t public and we don’t plan to be widely open until, like, way later, so I shouldn’t have done this. It just pisses me off when people think it’s wrong to be anything other than what they are. I mean, I love you, Michael. You’re not an insult. I wanted to throw it in their face,” Alex explained.

Michael sniffled, “You love me?” Alex rolled his eyes, but gave a sweet smile.

“You’re getting off-topic. We’re gonna talk more, right?”

“Right,” Michael agreed, nodding and feeling a little bit lighter than he had when the day started. The two stared at each other for a moment before meeting halfway in a hug.

Alex gave great hugs and it was easy to melt into it. He considered asking to skip class for the day, but decided it against it. His mom would never let him live that down if she found out he skipped. So, instead, Michael hugged him tighter and then let him go so he could take his shirt off and replace it with the jacket tucked in his bag.

“I love you too, by the way,” Michael said as they stood up. Alex grinned and leaned in for a kiss.

“I’m glad.”

.5.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

Michael looked over to Alex’s innocent little smile. He had his feet in Michael’s lap which usually wouldn’t be a problem, but he was doing a lot more than just innocently using him as a footrest.

“I have a biology test tomorrow and you are distracting me,” Michael said, watching Alex furrow his eyebrows in confusion even as he pressed his foot harder between Michael’s thighs. He worked hard to keep silent, dropping his book to move his hands to Alex’s foot. “Also, my parents are downstairs.”

“Sounds like a whole flight of stairs between them and us,” Alex said, moving his foot to pull the chair towards his place on the bed.

“Alex,” he breathed slowly, finding it harder and harder to resist. Why did he have to be so hot? “Seriously, I have a test. And so do you. We… you came over to study.” Michael tried, he really did, but the closer Alex came, the more his excuses seemed shitty in comparison to him.

“I mean,” Alex breathed, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, “I can leave. I just wanted to spend some… special time with my boyfriend.”

“Alex,” Michael whined, helplessly gravitating from the chair and to the bed. Alex wasted no time, pulling him into the little twin-sized bed and moving him so he was trapped between the wall and Alex’s body. He couldn’t say he could complain.

Alex’s kisses had quickly become some of Michael’s favorites. He’d had a few kisses here and there, one of them being with Isobel which was actually revolting, but he had never had anything like Alex. All of his were deep and slow and used tongue which was fun. Alex was the first person he’d ever really wanted to touch and be touched by‒and it always felt like a blessing when it actually happened.  He couldn’t think of a nicer, gentler, or prettier person to lose his virginity to.

“Did you lock the door?” Alex whispered, his leg hooking over Michael’s hip and his fingers sliding lower.

“Um, no,” Michael breathed, his whole body heating up as he chose to be confident for once and slid his hand down Alex’s jeans first. He immediately checked to make sure it was okay and saw Alex smirking, so he grabbed him.

“You should probably lock the door if you’re gonna do that, baby,” he said hotly, a shaky breath following immediately after. He was making a whole lot of eye contact and it was making Michael’s head spin.

“You want me to get up?”

“I was thinking my telekinetic boyfriend could, uh, lock the door with his mind,” Alex suggested. Michael smiled, giving him a slow kiss as he tilted his head to secure the lock.

Except it didn’t budge.

He tried it a couple more times and when it still seemed to be fighting him, he pulled away from Alex to look over at it. He used the hand that wasn’t in Alex’s jeans to give it a little more concentration to flip the lock and it did. But immediately unlocked again.

“What the‒”

“Here’s your clean clothes, Michael, and I told you to keep the door unlocked.”

Michael nearly pushed Alex off the bed when his mother, Mara, let herself into the room. She stood in the doorway, a far too motherly look on her face and her hand firmly on her hip. Michael sat up, trying to make himself look presentable while Alex mainly focused on catching his breath even though he was clearly about two seconds away from laughing. Michael thought about actually pushing him off the bed this time.

“Looks like a lot of studying going on here,” she said, gesturing between the two of them before the books that were on the floor floated neatly to his dresser.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Guerin,” Alex said, lifting himself off the bed and walking over to her with his hand outstretched. Michael’s head hit the wall and he considered jumping out the window. “I’m Alex, Alex Manes.”

Mara blinked a few times before sharply turning her gaze to Michael. “Manes? As in Jesse Manes?” Michael sunk back to the bed with a groan.

“Uh, yes, ma’am.”

“And you’re dating my son? An Antarian?”

“Mom!” Michael begged, looking to her in desperation. Still, Alex was all smiles.

“Yes, ma’am. But, you know, I can assure you I don’t exactly subscribe to my father’s politics. Not even just with the ‘no alien’ rule, but, you know, the ‘no queer’ rule. He’s actually kind of the worst, so,” he laughed, turning his stupidly beautiful smile on Michael.

“Well, Alex, would you like to stay for dinner? That is, if my son can understand what an unlocked door means,” Mara said, giving him a tight smile. Alex had the audacity to laugh.

“I would love to stay for dinner, thank you. And we’ll even leave the door open instead, if you’d like,” he said and it took a lot not to pelt him with pillows. She smiled.

“I like you. I like this one, Michael,” Mara said, opening the door wide before walking out and leaving the boys alone. Michael immediately shoved his face into the pillow, groaning loudly. Not only did she ruin a really great moment, but Alex was just way too okay with it.

“Why are you freaking out? It’s not like we were naked. And I think we covered up what was happening pretty elegantly,” Alex teased, not-so-sweetly swatting him on the stomach. Michael moved the pillow to glare at him. “What?”

“Remember when I said sometimes your ballsy-ness is annoying? This is one of those times,” Michael grumbled, letting Alex laugh and pull his head into his lap.

“Michael, baby, have you looked at me?” Alex asked and he nodded slowly, “Your mother just came in on you not only making out with a guy, but one who has piercings and makeup and a lot of black. On top of the fact that I’m human. And I’m my father’s son. So it was either that or let your mother hate me for the rest of our relationship.”

“Why do you have to be right all the damn time?”

.6.

“Tell your mom thanks for lunch because holy shit.”

Michael watched with a smile as Alex shoveled his mother’s leftovers into his mouth as they sat behind the gym. He was a little too aware of Alex’s food situation. His father would get so much and it was first come first serve with five grown-ass men in the house. He’d gotten into a habit of food hoarding, but even then, sometimes he didn’t get enough. Ever since dinner where Michael had to begrudgingly explain to his parents that he was bisexual, he’d been asking his mother to make lunch for two.

“She will probably say you’re welcome.”

After the whole coming out scene, they told him that he didn’t have to, that they put it together which made it even more embarrassing. He was endlessly reassured that no one cared about that, but that they did care about his safety. Michael’s parents gave them both a long talk about being careful because they were dealing with a couple of different layers of stupidity. It was over an hour of discussing how they planned to handle it if people found out and, if the time came, how they planned to make it public. There was even a lot of reassuring that they cared about not only Michael’s safety but Alex’s as well. It was long and weird, but oddly cathartic and while Michael came out of it feeling a little flustered, Alex was very visibly in one of the best moods he’d ever seen. He had at least 30 texts of Alex gushing over how much he loved his parents. He came over nearly every day now.

“Did I tell you I got an interview?” Alex said, smiling even with a mouthful of food. “Get this, it’s at the UFO Emporium.” Michael snorted.

“Alex, that place is such bullshit. They’ve tried to get it shut down like seven times,” he chuckled. The place opened the year after the crash and started out as a place for humans to learn about Antar. However, it really wasn’t accurate and it became the subject of controversy from the moment Antarians started becoming a permanent fixture on Earth. That being said, it still hadn’t closed. Michael went there with Isobel and Max a few times purely for the laughs. “Why do you want to work there?”

“It’ll get my dad off my dick about getting a job. Might as well get a job at a place that literally has, like, no customers,” Alex shrugged, wiggling his eyebrows at Michael, “You can hang out all the time.”

“Alex!”

Both boys whipped their heads around to see Liz Ortecho headed their way with a smile. Michael could feel the panic in him rising at the sight of her. He knew she was nice and that Max had the world’s biggest crush on her, but he didn’t know what she knew about him and Alex. He still wasn’t ready for everyone in the world to know, but it would be fair for one of Alex’s friends to know since Isobel knew. It was a mess. He was a mess.

“Hey, Liz,” Alex said. She plopped down in front of them in a weirdly graceful way. Michael remembered Max mentioning she was a dancer. “You stalking me or something?”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “No, but Maria isn’t here today and I didn’t want to eat lunch alone and I know you come back here to eat for some reason, so I came to find you,” Liz paused, eyeing Michael with intrigue, “Well, now I know the reason, but can I still stay?”

Alex turned to Michael and asked him silently if she could as if Michael could ever be rude enough to say no. Even if he wanted to say no, he wouldn’t have been able to.

“I don’t mind,” Michael said. She grinned so bright that it became exceptionally clear why Max was so infatuated with her.

“Yay! Hi, I’m Liz,” she introduced, holding her hand out to him. Michael hesitantly shook it. Alex snorted.

“Michael.”

“I know, Alex talks about you,” she said. Michael felt his face flush and turned to Alex who didn’t look embarrassed at all. Did he ever get embarrassed? Did he ever get scared?

“Nothing to worry about,” Alex chuckled, reaching out to wipe a crumb off the corner of Michael’s lips. Michael’s eyes widened. “Relax.”

When Michael looked back towards Liz, she was still smiling as she ate her food. She didn’t seem to think any of this was weird, but she didn’t seem to be curious either. She took it as if this was just a thing that happened.

“Max talks about you too,” Michael said softly. Her eyebrows raised at that and her cheeks got a little red.

Okay, maybe she wasn’t anything to be scared of.

.+1.

“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Michael’s giggle rippled through the air as Alex smothered him in kisses. While Alex usually came over to his house now, it was basically impossible to do anything other than the most G-rated kisses because of his mother always being around. They wanted something more than that and their options had been either driving out to the desert or coming to the shed. They’d chosen the shed because they didn’t want to suffer the 30-minute drive.

Alex let his hand slide down the front of Michael’s bare chest, breathing heavily with the biggest smile against Michael’s neck. It was heavenly. Even when he pulled away and they had to get dressed so Michael wouldn’t miss curfew, they couldn’t stop smiling. They hadn’t properly hooked up in a few weeks and, fuck, it felt good to just feel Alex again. He was so ready for a lifetime of that.

Or maybe that wouldn’t happen.

The door flew open right after Michael buttoned up his jeans. He was still standing shirtless as Jesse Manes stood in the doorway. When he looked at Alex, he was frozen. There was fear in his eyes and all over his face. It was something Michael had never seen before and, honestly, it was the most terrifying thing in the world. Alex was always strong and calm. Alex wasn’t ever scared.

Except Alex was scared now and Michael didn’t know how to help him.

“I can’t believe this,” Mr. Manes said, taking a step into the shed, “Under my roof.”

Michael kept looking between Mr. Manes and Alex. He was waiting for Alex to say something, to argue, to fight back like he always did. Alex didn’t budge.

It happened fast. Mr. Manes had Alex pinned to the wall by his throat. Alex was crying and shaking his head and begging him to stop. Michael was overwhelmed with hearing Alex so upset, hearing Alex cry a ’Dad, please’ with no sign of it actually working. None of this made sense.

But Michael had a decision to make. He could either be the coward he always was and just let this happen, or he could finally be confident and strong. He’d seen Alex do it a million times when he needed him and now Alex needed him. Alex needed him to be strong.

So he would be.

“Don’t touch him!” Michael shouted, moving forward and pushing Mr. Manes off of Alex. Except, what could that do, really?

He grabbed Michael by the arm and, in one fell swoop, grabbed a hammer and swung it back. The claw end buried into Michael’s bones, pinning him to the table he was leaning against. His scream mixed with the sound of Alex’s, blurring into nothingness. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear, he just hurt.

“I don’t want to see this in my house again, do you understand me?” Mr. Manes said. Alex was sobbing.

“Yes, sir.”

Michael was trying to breathe, trying not to focus on the fact his entire left arm was going numb from pain. He needed acetone. No, he needed his mom.

“Oh my God,” Alex choked when he got closer. Michael was taking in shallow breaths as he lifted his head enough to get a look at his hand. The claw was buried in his hand, hooking just enough to the table beneath it. Holy fuck. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Michael, oh my God.”

“Can you call my mom?” Michael whispered out, unable to take his eyes off his hand. How is that possible? How can one man have enough strength to break through all his bones and muscles? How could someone do that?

“I-I need to get you out of here first, your mom can’t come onto my dad’s property,” Alex sniffled, still crying so hard that it was hard to understand him. Michael wanted to be annoyed that he was the one keeping calm when he was pinned to a table, but he kept reminding himself that Alex had done it for him a ton of times. He could do it for Alex.

He could be strong for Alex.

“Okay,” Michael whispered out, closing his eyes and thought hard about his mom. He called to her, telling her that he needed her. It would take her 15 minutes to get to him, he just needed to get to the curb.

“Michael, I’m so sorry,” Alex cried. He wasn’t touching him, he was staying away. Michael tried to look at him.

“I’m okay,” he said and Alex let out a whine, covering his face. This was hard. How did Alex stay so strong all the time? Michael gulped, taking another heavy breath before he looked at his hand again.

Slowly, he worked the tip of the claw out of the table. It hurt like a bitch and he wanted to scream, but he figured that would just scare Alex and he didn’t want that. Once he got it out, he stood up with the hammer still buried in his hand. He brought it to his chest, hoping to minimize the blood and the pain.

“Alex,” he said calmly. It had to be the adrenaline. “Alex, c’mon, let’s go.”

When Alex moved his hands, his face was dotted with Michael’s blood. He focused on his breath and grabbed the back of Alex’s neck, pressing his forehead to his. Alex choked out another sob.

“C’mon. It’s gonna be okay. My mom’s coming.”

They went to the curb and waited. Michael managed to keep up his confidence for Alex until his mom arrived and the full force of the pain really hit. It suddenly made a little more sense of how Alex was able to keep his cool all the other times he’d seen him do it. He could handle anything that wasn’t his father.

So that just meant that Michael could handle that part for him.

[shattredgodsdreams]

Jin

The Jin are a simple people with the ability to change the outer appearance (Hair color and length, skin and eye color, ect.) with a thought. They live in small nomatic familial groups, living off of a combination of hunting and gathering, herding, and trading. In these groups of of at most 50-ish people the concepts of identity and individuality are, while not out right unheard off, are very uncommon. The leadership of the nomadic tribes is headed by the oldest parent or parents in the group then thier children. 

The Jin's unaltered appearance is gray as a brewing storm. They stand on average about 5 foot 5. While they look androgynous to most humans though they do have gender. Their primary genitalia never truely change, though they can change aspects of them and hide them if they so choose. 

They live to be about 150 years old, and reach physical and sexual maturity at around 10-15, much like humans most Jin grow up with thier family group and stay with them or close to them thier entire life. Given thier nomadic life style some Jin do try and make it on thier own and some can in the process come back heros.

Tysimar

The Tysimar are a race of insect-like humanoids that live in the middle of a large swamp. Their society makes use of the best attributes in an individual the strong fight and work, the dexterous hunt and fight, the wise prech, the charismatic sell and put on shows ect. This is handled in a ridged class system enforced by the religion of the people. At the top of this caste system are the Priests, from them five are chosen from the five great houses. Below the Priests are the Soldiers and then the Merchents and then the workers and performers. Thought this caste system is rigid and doesn't allow for upward mobility, those that show great skill and devotion are honored. Outside this main group of Tysimar are a group of Tysimar that denounce the religion and live outside the cities. Although they are offered no life in the cities they make a living outside on the outskirts with thier own smaller towns and villages.

As for for how they look, the Tysimar look like small-ish humanoids (4-5 feet tall.) with a segmented hard exoskeleton-like substance covering their skin. Their faces are segmented slightly around the mouth, allowing for speech. Their exoskeletons are usually dull grayish green and slightly opalescent. They are gender-less and sexless unless they become high priests, at they point a ritual is preformed giving them the ability to reproduce, at any time there is one (Male) and one (Female) in each of the great houses and very few times in the history Tysimar one has spontaneously gained a sex. 

Life for the Tysimar is cyclical, pray, work, eat, sleep, repeat from the time they can walk till the end around 100 years and this is they way it has been since the War. Tysimar children are taken from the Hatchery after they emerge from thier eggsacks and are raised by priests until around the age of 13-14 shortly after they reach physical maturity and then get put into thier job.

Kitsune

Kitsune are a group of animal-like humanoids that live in the forests. Their society is one of trade and chance. The roles of the people are self made but those in power are chosen from those that are good in their field (Great merchants govern trade, great warriors govern the war council Ect.) These positions come only with power within that facet of society. 

Kitsune look like humans with animalistic features and fur covering their body. Their facial features and their hands and feet are the most animistic, their ears can take many shapes and sizes usually dog or cat like but can have rabbit like ears, hands are usually clawed and feet can be cloven. They have the ability to enter a rage-like state that that exaggerate their animistic features, in this state they can, toughen thier skin, lengthen their claws ect. 

They can live to be about 175 years old, living in small towns dotted around Vis. Most are by nature adventureous and many leave home as soon as they are able around 15-20 years old. This adventureous nature means that it is almost expected that the ypund will leave and adventure till they can't anymore then they'll settle down.

Spriggan

The Spriggan are humanoids that live off of and that are a part of the environment, they live all over the planet in every climate. They are a usually democratic people, letting any one who has reached adulthood vote on all governmental matters in thier villages and tribes. But given the sheer number of villages and tribes they a number of governing types among the spriggan. They also have a strong connection with eldrich magics allowing them to use a very small amount starting at adulthood. This also plays a large part in their lives, using it to create thier houses, farm, and hunt.

This bond with nature and it's magic gives the spriggans a unique appearance, over all they appear like normal humans with more anguler and slightly elongated and lithe features. Thier skin color and texture matches the environment they were born in. (Those born and raised in the woods have skin with the texture of soft-bark and coloring of brown, red, orange, and green.)

The Spriggan live to be about 200 years old spending a majority of that time inside the towns and cities they were born in. Being a mostly self sufficient people they do very little trading, mostly exporting works of art and magic items. Those spriggan that do go off to adventure are oftentimes shunned .

Akarthi

Akarthi are the last to break from the human race, altered by the scionic nanites that course through their bodies. Their society is based on merit, all citizens are expected to do their best for the good of society because only the best and brightest are chosen for positions of power. This 'Quest' for greatness leads most Akarthi to stay on the island studying it and themselves. Originally a group of monks that were caught on the floating island and changed by accident when Scionic magic was first bound to the nanites, over time the use of the nanites saturated the island in them and changed all the humans and some of the other life on the island. 

The Akarthi look like normal humans except for their eyes which come in unnatural colors like red and yellow as well as lighter human eye colors like blue and green, that are unusually bright and seem to glow in dim light.They don't grow much hair on their body at all but their heads grow long wavy hair in normal human colors. 

The Akarthi are the longeat lived of the races on Vis, living to be up to 300 years. But this long age means that it takes longer for a Akarthi to fully mature reaching a physical maturity at around age 15 (this is similar to human puberty only thier body does not fully develop sexual organs) and a sexual maturity at around 100-150 years.

Sitrean 

Sitrean are reptile like humanoids. They stay to themselves and rarely leave the borders of their queendom. The society is headed by a queen and her king, below them are a a consul of 9 that are elected by the people every few cycles, these 'lords' rule over a part of the queendom. 

Sitreans look like humans that have scales over their bodies. They grow 'hair' on thier heads that is made up of feather strands giving them an almost dreadlock like apperince. Their eyes are slits like a snake or cat. Their faces are small and nearly feature less save for their eyes and their thin lips. Their most startling aspects are the glow their bodies can give off and their ability to swim in loose sand and ash.

They live to be about 150 years old and are born like many reptiles in soft eggs, once they break out of the egg they grow in a way similar to both reptiles and mammals, shedding scales as new ones grow all thier lives. Until the ages of 10-13 they can shed up to 2 or 3 times a year after that it slows to about one a year then after the age of 50-60 they shed maybe once a decade.

Lowg

Lowg are small humanoids with an affinity with soul magics. The city of dis where most of the lowg live is ran by a single person, The Grand Technician, this person is chosen by magical dual. Below them are people they chose to run the day today things they can't handle. In most of the history of the lowg, right below the seats of power are the artisans, those that craft and create, Then the merchants. this love of art is rooted in every facet of lowg life, The Grand Technician is chosen in a dual so he must win, but one must also show creativity and aesthetic merit.

The lowg look like small imp-like humans. They only stand about 3 or 4 feet tall and their usually pale gray skin is thick and rough. The lowg only grow hair on their head, this hair is thick and slightly more rigid this normal human hair and can come in some very unnatural colors like neon green or blue. Their eyes come in a wide assortment of colors from amber to pink.

The lowg can live to be 100 or so years and reproduce just like humans. Baby Lowg known as Godlings are unusually smart, learning to walk as early as a few days old and speaking in a few months. The lowg reach maturity at about 20 years old.

Hapis

The hapis are large humanoids that live on and in the mountains. The hapis were once a very war like people, and this as lead to them covering the world. But this doesn't stop them form being a unified people, lead by a king. This king holds absolute power of the Hapis but for the most part just collects taxes and keeps the people unified, below the king are the four houses. Each of these houses is a political entity of it's own but is loyal to the king for fear of loss of stability. Military service and athletic prowess are things honored by the hapis.

The Hapis look like large humans carved from the stone, while thick thier skin is not rock like the coloration would suggest. Thier skin is pattrened like different tupes of stone, mainly marbled or granite-like but some do have more plain skin colors but their always colors of stone, shades of gray, blacks and sometime more metallic colors like silver or copper. Hair grows all over their body similar to a human but their hair is always glossy like a gem or metal.

The hapis live to be about 200 years old and reach maturity around 20 years old. At the age of maturity many hapis go through a comimg of age ritual in which they preform a feat of marshal or athletic prowess, this can be many different things some strategize, while others with run, jump, or fight to prove they are able to contribute to the tribe.

Forgeborn

Forgeborn were the catalyst for the eradication of the human race. Created by humans, the forgeborn look like constructs with wildly differing constrictions, some are made with stone or metals and others seem to be made of hardened wood, sizes vary wildly with some being a couple of feet tall and others being up to 8-9 feet tall. The only unifying thing among the forgeborn are the glowing Heartstones in their chest, a small glowing stone that causes the chest of forgeborn to glow very slightly. The forgeborn live in the forgotten places of the world very few live in or close to many of the major cites of the world.

The Forgeborn are basically immortal, unless the Heartstone in destroyed they can live forever. Most of the forgeborn created during the war were killed or died adventuring afterwards. New forgeborn can only be made in one place and the creaton of new forgeborn is highly controlled so only very few are made ever. 

[starsinursa]

Shout-out to @saminzat for tagging me! Like I needed an excuse to waste time. ;)

LAST

1) Drink:  Coffee... it’s like 10 p.m. at night, but I’m trying to stay awake to finish some work from the office (and yet I’m on tumblr doing this quiz instead, oops).

2) Phone call: A coworker called me so I’d have her new phone number.

3) Text message:  “FYI, they don’t give you the money right back, you have to wait 4 - 6  WEEKS for a check in the mail, uggggh”. I bailed the same coworker out of jail about three months ago and went to the city municipal court today to get the bail money back... turns out things aren’t that simple.

4) Song listened to:  Umm...so I’ve been listening to the Moana soundtrack pretty much non-stop for the last week. :D

5) Time you cried:  A couple of weeks ago, reading the fic “Cursed or Not” for the first time (hey, you get to chapter 18 and try not to ugly cry, okay?).

HAVE YOU EVER

6) Dated somebody twice:  Yep. Good ol’ high school.

7) Been cheated on:  Not that I know of.

8) Kissed someone and regretted it:  Yep. Good ol’ college.

9) Lost someone special:  Yes, a couple of times.

10) Been depressed:  Yep, special shout-out to my Prozac and Wellbutrin, love you guys. ;)

11) Gotten drunk and puked:  Yes, a few times, unfortunately. Again, good ol’ college (although I can’t use that excuse for the last time because I had already graduated... to whomever had to clean out that train car up in Minneapolis, MN, about 2.5 years ago: I am so, so sorry, I’ve learned my lesson about taking it easy on the Everclear, you have every right to hate me).

THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS

12) Green

13) Purple

14) Blue

IN THE LAST YEAR YOU HAVE YOU

15) Made new friends:  Kind of? Do work friends count? 

16) Fallen out of love:  Nah, gotta be in love for that

17) Laughed until you cried:  Yes, most recently was while watching “Impractical Jokers” with my aunt (they took a guy who is terrified of cats and made him teach an improv “how to bond with your cat” class, okay, I found it hilarious as a cat-owner).

18) Found out someone was gossiping about you:  Yeah, there’s a lot of gossip about everyone at my second job. Look, I’m sorry I go through all the water bottles, okay? I drink a lot of water...

19) Met someone who changed your life:  Not anyone specific in the last year that I can think of...

20) Found out who your true friends are: Meh. I’ve always kinda known.

21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list:  Nah

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook friends:  256

23) Pets:  Two! One dog, one cat, the best of both worlds.

24) Want to change your name:  Nah, I like my name.

WHAT

25) Did I get for my birthday:  Books, I always ask for books.

26) Time I woke up:  Around 8:30 a.m. this morning

27) Were you doing at midnight: Probably surfing tumblr, tbh, I am sadly predictable

28) Can’t you wait for: MY VACATION THIS NEXT WEEK

29) Was the last time you saw your mom:  A couple of weeks ago when I went home for a dentist appointment

30) Is something you wish you could change about your life:  I need to buckle down and really focus on paying off a couple of bills. It helps having a second job, but I’m just so impatient.

31) Are you listening to right now:  Nothing at the mo

32) Gets on your nerves:  Whiners. Don’t get me wrong, I love to bitch and complain as much as the next person, but people who blame the world/ everyone else for their problems? Just....yeah.

33) Talked to a person named Tom:  ...this question doesn’t make any sense. “What - talked to a person named Tom”? Also, no, I know several Tims, but no Toms.

34) Is your most visited website:  Pffft, tumblr, of course, is that even a real question

35) Elementary school/primary school:  [Name of my hometown] Elementary School

36) High School:  [Name of my hometown] Jr./ Sr. High School

37) College:  I’ve already mentioned in a couple of posts where I went to college, so I guess I’ll just say it: Kansas State University. EMAW!

38) Hair colour:  Dark brown

39) Long/short hair:  Long! It’s currently the longest it’s ever been in my entire life, I’m so excited (although holy shit, I shed a lot).

40) Crush:  Nah, not for a while. I creeped on a cute security guard a few months ago, but he turned out to be a jerk with a classic “crazy ex-girlfriend” (I put that part in quotation marks because I have no idea if she’s actually ‘crazy’ but he kept insisting she was...which is, just, y’know, a red flag on his part).

41) Do you like about yourself:  I’m actually pretty fond of my hair now, after a lifelong love/hate relationship. I also like to think I’m okay at singing sometimes.

42) Piercings: None at the moment, actually

43) Blood type: A+

44) Nickname: My family has always called me “Foo” (as in, “little bunny foo-foo”)

45) Relationship status:  Single, ayyyyy

46) Zodiac: Leo (pffft, but not really)

47) Pronouns: She/her

48) Favourite show: Supernatural (of course!), Psych, Once Upon a Time, Firefly, Scrubs, Nikita, Game of Thrones

49) Tattoos: None. I’m too fickle, I’d get one and then change my mind two weeks later.

50) Left or right handed: Right

FIRST

51) Surgery:  I had my tonsils out when I was 17 thanks to multiple bouts with strep throat. Oh my god, never wait until you’re that old to get your tonsils removed, it was absolute hell. 

52) Piercings: My ears. If we’re talking unusual piercings, I had a “nape piercing” for a while in high school.

53) Best friend:  Probably my cousin Kayla, since we grew up together

54) Sport:  I played softball for several years as a kid, until I got a bloody nose when the ball hit me in the face. Then I had to quit because I was gun-shy. To this day, I’m still afraid of balls flying at my face (hehehe).

55) Vacation:  I visited my dad in San Diego, CA for a week when I was ten years old

56) Pair of shoes:  First pair of shoes? I don’t know, I was a baby. Probably some over-priced cutesy pair that never even got any use because I was a baby.

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: Spicy Doritos

58) Drinking:  Still drinking coffee

59) I am about to:  Sort through my tumblr “Saved Drafts” and add tags for everything, then try to get some writing done

60) Listening to:  Nothing at the mo (this is the same question at #31?)

61) Waiting for:  Saturday when I leave for vacation! *o*

62) Want to see: Honestly can’t think of anything. I’d like to watch Moana again but it’s not on DVD yet?

63) Want to get married:  Sure, someday

64) Career:  Human services/ social work-ish? Basically, I work at a non-profit agency helping adults with developmental/ intellectual disabilities to get/ maintain services. Oh, and I also have a part-time job at an adult store. Gotta make ends meet, y’know.

WHICH IS BETTER

65) Hugs/kisses:  Really depends on who they’re from. Probably hugs for the most part. :)

66) Lips/eyes: Aaagh, I don’t know... I love gorgeous eyes, but I also love me some tasty lips... y’know what, I’m gonna go with lips. Yep.

67) Taller/shorter:  Taller

68) Younger/older: Older

69) Romantic/spontaneous:  I can be romantic when I have someone to be romantic for, but I’m not the most spontaneous. :D Like, let’s just stick to the PLAN, okay?

70) Nice arms/nice stomach: Arms. I like squishy cuddly tummies anyways.

71) Sensitive/loud: ...I don’t know. Sensitive, I guess, because being around loud people wears me out pretty quickly. But sensitivity needs to have limits too...

72) Hookup/relationship:  Relationship. Been there, done the hook-up thing, not worth it. Good ol’ college.

73) Troublemaker/hesitant: At this point in my life, I’d say hesitant. Trouble-making was fun in the past, but, like, I’ve got an actual career now that I could lose if I go around trouble-making/ hanging out with trouble-makers.

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed a stranger:  So, so many times. Good ol’ college.

75) Drank hard liquor:  Yep. Still love me some vodka. It just mixes with everything, y’know?

76) Lost glasses/contact lenses:  Contact lenses, yes, but luckily I’ve never lost a pair of glasses

77) Turned someone down:  Yes. I hate doing that. I’m a horrible, cowardly person who would rather “ghost” someone than have to deal with an uncomfortable confrontation. 

78) Canoodling on a first date:  Depends on the definition of “canoodling”. Are we talking cuddling or snuggling up during a movie? Sure. Making out? Maaaybe, depends. No copping a feel on the first date though, c’mon now.

79) Broken someone’s heart:  Yes. Breaking up with someone in high school is intense. 

80) Had your own heart broken:  Kind of, not really? The only person I legitimately had feelings for, I never told them how I felt, so they never really had the opportunity to break my heart but it hurt like hell anyways. Have I mentioned I’m a cowardly piece of shit? :D I mean, that was like 10 years ago in high school, but I haven’t changed that much.

81) Been arrested:  No, thank goodness. There were a couple of close calls during my partying days, I’ve definitely been luckier than I probably deserve.

82) Cried when someone died:  Yes. Doesn’t happen often, luckily.

83) Fallen for a friend: Not really? Had crushes on friends, had friends-with-benefits, yes, but never technically “fallen for” a friend.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: Depends on what we’re talking about here. In general, yeah, I like to think I do okay...

85) Miracles:  Ehhh, I can’t decide. It’s a wonderful thought but I’m also kind of a pessimist realist. You know what they say: “hope for the best but prepare for the worst”.

86) Santa Clause:  Not for many, many years

87) Kisses on a first date: Sure! End-of-the-date kisses are sweet.

88) Angels:  I...think so. 

89) Love at first sight:  I don’t know? It’s a wonderful thought but I’m just not sure. Maybe not love at first sight, per se, but I think there are definitely people out there that you can just tell right away they’re going to be special to you.

OTHER

90) Best friend’s name: None, at the mo

91) Eye colour: Brown

92) Favourite movie:  That’s a tough one... I think it depends on my mood. Do I want to laugh? Something trashy like “Sorority Boys”. Do I want to cry? Probably something steeped in existential crisis like “A.I.”. Do I want a feel-good adventure with talking animals? “Homeward Bound”.

Holy crap, that took like 1.5 hours. Anyone need an excuse to waste some time/ procrastinate/ be distracted? Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast, @helianthus21, @destielmixtape, @beesandangelkisses, @emotionally-compromised-idiot, @castielsgracex, @apritelleorai, @honeybee-and-batman, @sunshine-hunters, @waaaaaayward-assbutt, @cool-fallen-angel , and anyone else who wants to do it. :)