#in fact Snily is the core of the story

[mitsuki91]

Someone said that you are not famous unless you have haters so hell yeah, here I am, time to shine 💃

[messrsrarchives]

I don’t know about anyone else, but I think a lot of cis straight women who write mlm typically write mlm because it’s nice to write a love story with out the inherent power inbalance that all straight relationships have.

YES !!! 100% yes, this is a point i make in this video !!!

i mean,,, i'm coming at it from a different perspective as someone who read only mlm prior to coming out as trans, but it's the same concept - wanting to disconnect from your own identity and fall head over heels into something else.

it's nice to read stories where your inferiority isn't part of it, where you aren't subjected to patriarchial values or situations, and you can just,,, enjoy the story, you know? and i think mlm ships, more so than wlw ships, provide that escapism more.

i think i also talk a bit in that video about mainstream media and the effects that has, especially in a fandom space. marauders for example, the core four are men and the people they are connected to *canonically* are mostly men - we know more about them and how they navigate the world, and that makes for more interesting stories. (see here: "but regulus has barely any cano-" he does but also,,, he's the brother of a core character, hence why he's developed a lot)

we can also get messy with the men, you know? we see it a lot in mainstream media *and* fandom where a "messy" woman (a human being with flaws and mistakes) is criticised for being misogynistic etc etc, and we lose complexity through that (i'm looking at you, platonic snily deniers /hj but fr, that is the most central part of her character imo)

but marlene and dorcas for example? we only know about two facts, including how they died, and we don't even know if they were in the same year as the marauders, so it's more of a gradual development than taking developed male characters - mainstream media sucks man :/ god forbid we get developed women.

so yes !!! i stronglyyy dislike the fetishisation argument because whilst there is 100% the chance that that is why people write and engage in those stories, 99.9% of the time it isn't and people either (1) like that escapism that comes from reading without your inferiority as a woman coming into play (2) like reading more complex stories that we typically get with men, especially since we allow them to get more "messy" and (3) they just,,, like the characters.

there's a big gap between the consumption of mlm media and the consumption of wlw, but i don't think demonising mlm and reducing it to just sexual fantasies and fetish desires is progressive at all,,, less so even.

[plzandspanku]

I know that there are good jily fics out there but I also know that they are a few and far between. But ultimately the number one reason the issue with jily exsits is and always has been ⬆️THIS⬆️ and the difference between a good jily fic and the rest of them can be found in one tiny aspect. And that's if the fic was written by a jily fan or by a Lily Evans fan.

There are so many jily fics that put the relationship above the characters, so many people who are a fan of them together and not each of them separately, and it shows.

I am at my core and in my truest of hearts a multi shipper nothing can be done to change that. Because of that I read some amazing doralily fics, marylily fics, evans sisters fics, platonic moonlily fics, hell I've even read a couple jaw dropping snily fics. And each and every one of them was great because of the fact that it was so obvious that the person writing it clearly had respect and care for Lily outside of her relationships. 

At this point people are writing jily for jily and not for Lily and James.

I'm happy for the Lily Evans Renaissance that I've seen starting lately (that I am fully crediting TikTok for) and I hope that with that comes genuinely well thought out and considerate jily fics but unless she becomes the main character of her own story this same issue is gonna keep coming up.

i think one of the reasons i find jily hard to engage with is that in so many fics (and posts) about their dynamic, it makes it seem like lily genuinely dislikes james.

like major parts of his personality. she just finds him obnoxious and irritating. and people will be like “he matured and they got together” but that makes me feel gross.

like i’m supposed to root for this couple when lily didn’t even want him? like she doesn’t even seem like she’s won over half the time. it’s like “james changed to fit my standards and now i like him.”

idk it makes james unbearable and it makes lily seem like she’s either pity dating james or emotionally manipulating him. except she barely had agency in any of the fics so she’s just existing as james’s love interest/wife