#in fact ''the show'' was not scared to act on it but braver than any US marine against a network that was. writers sure Dared to Defy huh

[deancasforcutie]

#okay first of all #the way you can so clearly see Jensen's tears when he's facing away from Cas as opposed to when he's looking at Cas #you could argue lighting but it's... so incredibly in character? #to try to hide his flaws (what he thinks are flaws! crying is NOT a flaw!) and his feelings #..maybe not just because he feels that he doesn't deserve it but because he can't hurt Cas any more? #AND THEN #the way Dean ... calls out to cas #just his name #with so much to say but he can's say it because he doesn't know how #and cas just #touches his shoulder #because cas knows #after all... they have a profound bond #dont they? #Goodbye Dean #he says #believing that his journey started with a Hello Dean #and closing up this chapter of their lives #because for him... #that's enough #to be and not to have #it's not about the physical intimacy #its not about the labels #its not even about the show being scared to act on it #it's about love #to admit his love for Dean #Cas had to confess not just to Dean but to himself #he had to love his being: one who loves #in order to love Dean #so this isn't just about Cas loving Dean or confessing to Dean... it's about accepting and loving himself (via @love-nakamura)

[emma23]

Headcanon y/n in a plane for the first time: Oscar Isaac characters reaction:

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Heyyy, here a other headcanon I really enjoy making them so if u guys have any ideas just tell me in the comments ! Hope u like it 💕

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Steven Grant:

Steven would be absolutely delighted, even more excited than Y/N. He’d have planned the whole flight experience for her, complete with a carry-on filled with snacks, books, and a pillow. During the takeoff, he’d hold her hand, pointing out interesting facts about aviation to keep her distracted from any nerves. His endless enthusiasm would make it almost impossible not to feel at ease.

“Did you know that the wings can bend up to five meters? Isn’t that amazing?” he’d say, practically bouncing in his seat.

Marc Spector:

Marc would stay quiet, but observant. He’d notice every tiny shift in Y/N’s expression, ready to step in if she felt scared. He’d have an arm around her, making her feel secure, but wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. The only time he’d react outwardly is during turbulence, leaning in with a reassuring, “I got you. Don’t worry, nothing’s gonna happen.” He’d want to be the calm force by her side, even if he wasn’t the most vocal about it.

Jake Lockley:

Jake would be more laid-back but with a slight protective edge. He’d play it cool, joking about how Y/N should be worried if he were the one flying the plane. During takeoff, he’d grip her hand, not saying much, but she’d feel the strength in his hold. When the plane settled, he’d give her a playful nudge. “See? Piece of cake. You’re braver than you think.”

 Anselm Vogelweide:

Anselm would be all dramatic flair and adventure. He’d sit back, hands folded, pretending to be unimpressed, but Y/N would catch him sneaking glances to make sure she’s doing okay. If she got nervous, he’d chuckle and throw an arm around her. “Relax, it’s not like we’re hurtling through the sky in a metal tube… oh wait.” He’d laugh, giving her an exaggerated wink to lighten the mood.

Blue Jones:

Blue would downplay any potential fear. He’d casually keep an eye on Y/N, commenting here and there but acting as if the whole flying thing was no big deal. If she showed any nervousness, he’d smirk and lean in close, saying, “Come on, you’re tougher than this. Think of it as just another ride.” His approach would be to distract her with light teasing, keeping his own protective edge on the down-low.

Poe Dameron:

Poe would be in his element, thrilled to guide her through it. He’d pepper her with stories of his own flying adventures, his enthusiasm contagious. When the ship started to take off, he’d squeeze her hand, grinning as if they were embarking on a personal mission. “Just think, Y/N—nothing beats the feeling of being up here. You’re gonna love it.” By the end, she’d feel like she was ready to pilot the ship herself, thanks to his confidence.

Santiago Garcia:

Santiago would be both protective and laid-back. He’d quietly make sure she’s comfortable, buckling her in with a little smirk. “You good?” he’d ask, offering a calm look. During the flight, he’d stay alert, keeping an arm around her, but he’d keep his cool, only saying something when absolutely necessary. If turbulence hit, he’d hold her hand firmly, murmuring, “Relax, I got you.” The reassurance would be in his calm, steady presence.

Nathan Bateman:

Nathan would be a mix of intrigue and subtle humor. He’d notice every little detail about her reaction, maybe throwing in a sarcastic comment here and there. “Scared? Really? It’s just a plane,” he’d say, smirking as she clung to her seat. If she got particularly nervous, he’d sigh, taking her hand reluctantly and muttering, “This isn’t my thing either, alright?” But he’d keep a subtle hand on her shoulder, making sure she felt safe in his own slightly detached way.

Jonathan Levy:

Jonathan would be attentive and gentle. He’d sense her nerves and quietly reassure her, keeping his voice calm and soft. “Hey, if this is too much, we can take it one step at a time,” he’d say, resting a hand over hers. During the flight, he’d keep talking, keeping her grounded with stories or comforting anecdotes. Every so often, he’d glance over to make sure she’s okay, his calm presence making her feel completely at ease.

Llewyn Davis:

Llewyn would play it cool with a touch of sarcasm. If she showed any sign of nerves, he’d tease her a little, giving her a sideways glance. “Didn’t know you’d be scared of a little flying.” But when it came time for takeoff, he’d subtly hold her hand without a word, staying close to make sure she knew he was there. After a while, he’d grumble, “I can play a song to take your mind off it… but don’t ask for any happy ones.”

[seaside-lovers-archive]

🌹 Hide & Cap'n Kay 🩹

Ship name/tag: 🌹 lethal lovers

Anniversary: February 13, 2024

F/O source: Lethal Company/OC

My backstory: I was a long-time employee of the Company who gave up on my dream of studying the new alien life of the Thisle Nebula after finding the studies too taxing. While contracts with the Company were usually seasonal, I returned for a new contract each time my previous contract ended. The job was fairly miserable, but better than the other jobs out there, and much more consistent in terms of income. Due to my experience, on the last contract, I was the leader of my crew. I affectionately became known as “Cap’n Kay” or just “Kay” for short to the crew (even though there’s no proper “ranks” in a ship; I was simply tasked to make executive decisions if votes were split evenly and checked in on my shipmates as needed).

How we meet: I met the Bracken that I would later start calling “Hide” after I landed on the planet Vow. While exploring the facility, I heard a turret go off and grimly assumed a teammate fell victim. However, a quick walkie confirmed I was the only one left in the building, so I decided to investigate.

While making my way closer, I discovered an injured Bracken cowering away, hissing as a warning as he was unable to properly run. Having been particularly fascinated with Brackens during my time studying alien life, I carefully approached him to get a closer look which led to the discovery of the turret going off: he must have stepped in front of it and activated it as he had several deep lacerations in his leg. I attempted to fix his wounds with what medical supplies I had but when he went to grab my neck, I yelled at him and gave him a scolding.

Thankfully, my yelling seemed to spook him and helped him realize I was trying to help him survive; he scooted his leg out, allowing me to bandage it up so he wouldn’t bleed out. With his leg fixed up, he hobbled to two legs and trotted back into the shadows, watching me cautiously. I decided to nickname him “Hide”, bid my farewell, and carefully walked away and out the facility, back to my ship.

After that, every time my crew makes its way back to Vow, Hide seems to leave us alone; I had lost many crewmates to Brackens but Hide never seemed to bother anyone. In fact, while scavenging, I would notice him watching me from around corners before he would disappear back into the darkness.

First impressions: I was initially frightened by Hide, not wanting to corner him and cause any more fright; my empathy toward creatures kicked in and I wanted to help him. After the initial spook of nearly getting my neck snapped, I found Hide interesting; he seemed almost shy once I finished bandaging his leg. I was curious about him and wished to learn more about his species (and perhaps more about him as an individual).

Hide was scared of me; employees were usually easy prey, but being injured and struggling to walk meant I could easily kill him if I had the means. He reacted instinctively when I reached for him, attempting to defend himself, but realized I was only trying to help when I yelped and pulled out bandages. He snuck away after I fixed him up and watched me leave, noticing how my eyes kept focused on him. He was interested in me and the act of kindness I showed to him.

Getting closer: Every time I visited Vow with my shipmates, I could feel Hide staring at me and caught him looking a few times before he would disappear again. With a Bracken that was almost friendly in a way in front of me, I decided to properly study him. I managed to sneak away from my shipmates one day after we killed a hoarding bug, dragging its corpse with me and leaving it where I knew Hide lived. Once he came slinking out of the shadows, I took the opportunity to start sketching him and taking notes, observing how he scanned the environment while he ate.

I got a little braver each time we went back to Vow, offering up whatever rations I stored away to coax him out. Hide got more used to me each time, getting closer and closer and acting braver, no longer trying to make himself appear bigger but instead relaxing and letting his guard down. During my studies I discovered that he was extremely intelligent; what little studies had been done showed that Brackens were smart creatures, but it appeared that Hide understood what I said.

It took some practice, but eventually I started teaching Hide sign language. He picked up on it quickly and it helped us communicate better; rather than playing a confusing and frustrating game of charades, I could teach him words so we could communicate. Assuming he doesn’t know how to read, I also make illustrations with their equivalent in sign language and leave them for him to view and practice – slowly adding in more complicated/“human” things to test his intelligence further – for “science”, I tell myself.

However, I realized quickly that I was developing a crush on Hide. He had made an impact as I thought a lot about him while I was not on Vow. He had grown rather affectionate with me, too; not only following me everywhere, but snuggling against me, purring, and sometimes even resting, trusting me not to harm him.

During our time together, I start talking out loud to him, discussing my childhood, career, and interests at first, then delving into deeper topics about life, love, and other philosophical topics. I wasn’t sure if he could fully grasp them but figured it wouldn’t hurt to talk to him about things like love and gauge his reaction.

Beginning our relationship: There’s never really a specific point where we declare ourselves a couple. However, while giving him a speech about how love comes in many different forms, I get to “romantic love” and find myself flustered when he signs “I love you” to me - it was one of the practice cards I had left for him out of curiosity. Hide himself seems a bit startled and ducks away from me, disappearing before coming back when I encourage him to.

We’re able to have a conversation, discussing things like feelings, and I admit that I’ve fallen for him, too. He picks me up in a tight embrace and spends the rest of my time on Vow snuggling with me and purring happily.

Eventually, I make the choice to retire from the Company and take up residence on Vow. I’m able to live off of hoarding bugs and manticoils and use my savings to purchase seeds and building materials, making myself a small farm and shack. While I primarily live in the shack and refer to it as my living quarters when my former crewmates visit, I spend most of my time in the facility with Hide.

Ship trope(s): Secret Relationship - I don't want my crewmates to find out.

Home Sweet Home - I retire to Vow and live there with Hide, finding a new home.

Aesthetics: Roses, unconditional love

Our song(s): None ATM

Favorite forms of affection: Hide loves physical affection, so he really enjoys it when I pet him, love on him, and snuggle with him.

I enjoy spending time together, so Hide often lies next to me as I draw or watch television, enjoying the quiet moments together.

Favorite kind of date: We never go on any formal “dates”. However, we love playing games together; it’s really fun and a great way for us to bond. Hide’s recent favorite game has been tag! He’s much better at it than me because of how fast he is, but he always gives me a head start when he is “it”.

Ways we comfort one another: We both like to comfort one another physically; spending time curled up together in each other’s arms can be very comforting and remind one another we’re there.

What we love most about each other: I love Hide’s playfulness. While Brackens are normally characterized as aloof, Hide became extremely playful with me once he got used to me. He likes to play hide and seek especially, becoming delighted when I find him or he finds me.

Hide loves my caring nature; I try not to see the worst in people and I think that helped him trust me the day we met. I didn’t leave him for dead, assuming he would kill me; instead, I helped him, giving him a second chance at life, and he appreciates that.

F/O headcanons:

Brackens can control the leaves growing from their body; most notably, they will often puff these out as an intimidation tactic

Brackens have mouths that aren't visible unless they choose to open their mouth; they have a long tongue they use to clean themselves with

[tauremornalome]

so, while it's obviously not 100% true to the mandarin original, i counted how many times the word "fuck" appears in the ExiledRebels translation of MDZS (which i think most of the anglophone fandom is familiar with, and bases their takes on characters upon) and here are the results:

1. wei wuxian: 17 fucks said aloud + 3 "thought to himself" = record 20 fucks

2. the narrator: 11 fucks (9 of them to describe sexual acts)

tied for the third place:

3. jiang cheng: 9 fucks (way less than i expected of him tbh)

3. xue yang: 9 fucks (establishing the record of fucks per chapter in the extra "villainous friends")

4. wen chao: 2 fucks (surprisingly this is shouting at wang lingjiao and his servants)

characters who said fuck once: a-qing, nie huaisang, jin ling, anxin (a prostitute from meng shi's brothel), jin guangyao, two random cultivators in a tavern, he su, yunmeng jiang shidis

which all sums up to 59 f-words in the translation of the novel

some of my favourite fucks under the cut

starting with wei wuxian in chapter 2, commenting on mo xuanyu's situation (he's right):

The words on the paper were small and compact, which hurt Wei WuXian's eyes. He thought to himself, "How fucked up is this person's life?"

11/10 this use of the f-word is very much justified, poor mo xuanyu :(

next on the list: xue yang in chapter 40, upon meeting song lan:

"For once I actually wanted to shop for food, and here you fucking are, spoiling my mood!"

understandable, 9/10 (this doesn't get full notes because i like song lan and this is not fucking ideal for him either :c)

next we have this gem, nie huaisang in chapter 49:

Nie HuaiSang roared at Nie MingJue, "Saber, saber, saber! Who the fuck wants to practice the damn thing?!"

100/10 holy shit!! nie huaisang is braver than any u.s. marine, roaring at his easily irritable jock brother the famous chifeng-zun about not giving a damn about their family legacy

this cute fragment from chapter 55, wangxian in the xuanwu cave:

"And now, we finally have it dead, and the son-of-a-bitch made the hole collapse. Fuck!"

Hearing the 'fuck', Lan WangJi's brows twitched. He wanted to say something, but held it in.

8/10, kudos for calling the xuanwu of slaughter 'son of a bitch'

shoutout to jiang cheng's first use of the word fuck, which appears in chapter 73 (burial mounds flashback):

"I'm the one who fucking wants to give you a thrashing!"

directed obviously at wei wuxian. 5/10, i'm slightly disappointed, please support your brother through his necromancy phase

next, jin ling in chapter 98, must have been picking up bad words from his jiujiu:

"Fairy! Come back! Fuck!"

6/10 you're your uncle's nephew i guess but that's not how a 13 year old should talk to his dog >:(

coming next jiang cheng with his heartbreaking rhetorical question (chapter 102 - he really is having a rough time):

"Why do I have to feel like I'm a fucking clown all these years?!"

12/10, i think this is the only place in the novel where a character acknowledges the general clownery happening around them

followed by jc in chapter 104:

[JGY talking to WWX] "Someone like you is destined to have a short life. You see? Doesn't it feel a lot better if you think about it this way?"

Jiang Cheng raged, "You're the one who's got a fucking short life!"

10/10, a great sentence to say + he's defending his shixiong!!

jin guangyao's last words, as presented in chapter 108:

"Fuck you, Nie MingJue! You think I'm really scared of you?! I..."

and then he died. 3/10

wei wuxian being mean to lan zhan about the phoenix mountain incident (or rather about the fact that lwj thought wwx had plenty of ~experience~) in 111:

"Are you an idiot, Lan Zhan?! You fucking believed all that nonsense!"

4/10 i would say he's hurting lwj's innocent ears with swearing but next chapters are full of wwx begging lan zhan to fuck him, sooo...

xue yang making an epic come back in chapter 118, starting with critique of jin guangyao's interior design:

[about Suibian] "What's the use of keeping a fucking piece of decoration?"

6/10 i know xiao xingchen is blind but i'm sure he would appreciate some decorations in your cosy little house in yi city, not everything has to serve a purpose my dude

aaand in the same chapter dragging jin guangyao,

"You should've gotten a mirror and looked at your face. That smile was nasty. It was so fucking fake I could throw up."

15/10 accurate assesment

aaaaaand we're finishing with this slice of everyday life at lotus pier, yunmeng jiang shidis in chapter 125 reacting to wwx and jc arguing:

The shidi all complained, "Fight outside if you have to!" Please fuck off together, won't you? We're begging you!"

13/10 this is why i love the jiang sect. show me ONE lan disciple who would tell their sect heir and first disciple to fuck off. su she doesn't count

Thank you for your attention, I love science, while writing fic remember to have wwx swear like a sailor, also remember nie huaisang shouting "fuck sabres!" to nmj's face

[spinjitsuburst]

i honestly can't stand skybound on its own yes i know i havent shut up about it in like a week blame when you think you're all alone and bending but never breaking okay this is not my fault and before skybound i wasn't the biggest fan of jay. and skybound didn't really FIX it per say, jay was still nowhere near my favorite character until i watched prime empire, but the season focusing on jay's character and WHY he acts the way he does and the ways he changes after the fact is so fascinating

yes, the way jay acts with nya at the beginning is So Very Cringe and Bad, but as the season goes on and he talks to nadakhan more, it's kind of clear he doesn't view himself very highly, and is placing his self-worth on the fact that he can't win over nya. he does still care for and love nya (and honestly the writing of their relationship is so bad in the early show you kind of have to grasp at straws to even see that) but it's being hindered by how blind he is towards his attitude

jay's scared of being unlovable and alone. and he ends up BEING alone when he gets captured on nadakhan's ship, and you see the character that was previously thought to be the most selfish and scared of the bunch putting up with actual torture in order to protect his friends and the rest of ninjago. the fandom definitely plays it up for the angst potential, but jay was quite literally beaten on-screen. and if you go back and rewatch some earlier scenes in the show, jay often jumps into action without thinking to protect others. it's clear he's a lot stronger and braver than he puts on, and it's so fascinating to see his normal facade crumble when put in a position without anyone to protect or fight alongside.

and after this season, after everything happens, you can SEE the way jay's attitude shifts. the biggest evidence is the beginning of season 7; jay was terrified of the idea that time was screwing up, probably because he'd JUST erased an entire timeline, that he was desperately trying to get everyone to ignore it and go home, until he heard Wu could be directly in danger. he immediately yells to head to the monastery, jumps off the ship without thinking, trying to get a handle on the situation as quick as possible. it's a trauma response, after everything he's been through, and his protective tendencies about finding wu are put on full display in a way that wasn't as noticeable before

i've always viewed prime empire as the season that kind of reflects jay's growth since skybound. how much he needs the people around him, how he's able to assess the danger of a situation quickly (in the prime empire shorts it takes like two seconds for him to figure out soemthing is deeply wrong with the game), and how much he knows what it's like to be abandoned. like his change since early ninjago is literally the KEY to defeating the villain of the season, without jay unagami would've won

i have no idea if any of this makes sense, i just kind of started rambling but it's just interesting to see the things jay tried to push down and hide about himself in early ninjago start showing after season 6. skybound still sucks overall but jay's character and how it's reflected from those events is so fascinating and i love it. heck, he's accepted himself so much that when asked in season 9 how he can make jokes and laugh in a perilous situation, he says this

i don't think he would've had that level of honesty about his coping mechanisms if season 6 hadn't happened. but that's just me ghjkdfshgkjfhskj

Genuine question for all my Skybound people out there:

(If you know me) I obviously do not like the season very much, but I see a lot of people who do enjoy it saying they do so because of Jay's arc, and his great character development that season.

And as someone who has only ever hated Jay more after watching it, I am genuinely interested in what it is y'all are referring to specifically. Is it just that we got some more character background for him in terms of being adopted? Is it the stuff with him and cole? Is it just the fact that he gets a bunch of screen time? Is it the interactions with nya?

Again, nothing but curious intentions here, I'm just genuinely invested in the fandom perception of the season.

[kariachi]

Do you have any theories or HC about how or why Kevin and Argit parted ways before AF?

Well that depends on whether we're talking UAF canon or OV canon. Because let's be real these are entirely different beasts, the Rooters arc changes so fucking much.

For UAF stuff... In general I have an ongoing headcanon, it's cropped up in a few places but not entirely, that Kevin’s last major relationship before Gwen was with a complete piece of shit who very much deserved what Argit ended up doing to him. Their relationship in AF isn't them drifting apart but was them coming back together after a period of distance between them, because even if eventually you recover enough to go 'yeah, I get your reasoning and can't really hold it against you given' there's still gonna be some consequences to your bestfriend suddenly shoving a packed bag in your arms and dragging you off-world only for you to learn via the news later that your boyfriend is very very dead. Then the heroing and working with the Tennysons ends up putting more of a wedge between them, plus the fact Argit still tends to act to keep himself going ahead of other people (it's better than he could have been, and he's a lot worse with people who aren't Kevin, and eventually he mellows out there as he gets into a more secure place in life and recovers from shit), sort've enforces some distance between them.

For OV stuff... The Argit we see during the Rooters arc is so different from the Argit we see in the rest of the series- braver, more loyal, closer to Good on the scale, and unlike previous viewings of him very clearly cares about Kevin. (I'm sorry, the implications of "Not even for you", that he would follow Kevin pretty much anywhere, do a load of shit for him, but going back to the Null Void is his limit) ("but Achi he was more worried about food than him when he went through" They literally showed in his last major episode before this arc that he's a serious stress eater, I'm not holding that shit against him with that for context) Given the severe difference, plus that we know Servantis mucked around with Kevin's head and memories to to get him close to the Tennysons, I honestly believe he mucked with Argit's head too. Because it very much seems like the plan was that Kevin would get close to the Tennysons and would eventually snap and take Ben out, and you know what would help prevent that? A close, long-term friend to act as an outside support system who's entirely capable of stopping him in his tracks if he gets out of control. (And isn't it interesting, that in the Rooters flashback Argit is capable of quilling Kevin and getting him under control that way, and during the Incursean Invasion he's able to quill a WayBad because he's scared and his life is in danger, but during the Ultimate Kevin arc he doesn't quill the guy even though he's actively trying to kill him) But a supposed-friend who keeps fucking you over? That'd just rub against his mental health issues more. They were closer, had a better relationship, and Argit wasn't as shit, but then Servantis came along and fucked everything up for his own goals, like the cuntfaced bastard he is.

[jamilelucato]

About him [Fred Weasley]

Pairing: Fred Weasleyx reader (Slytherin but brief mention)

Summary: [y/n] and Fred have always been friends because of their similarities, but after focusing on their differences they ended up missing each other a lot.

A/N: really slow burn except for the fact that I speed it up lol (gif is very much the ice cream shop scene)

Warnings: brief mention of p*rn but it's just for a joke really; and sadness at the very end, much much sadness

harry potter masterlist!

[y/n] and Fred Weasley were classmates, and, even though they were from different houses (she was a Slytherin, he was a Gryffindor), they generally ended up in the same circles because they had a lot of friends and common and were purebloods.

They had lots of things in common, but they never really thought much of it or talked about it. Their pureblood families were seen with wicked eyes by the others because they were friendly towards muggles and muggles-borns, and curiously [y/n]'s mother worked in the same department as Fred's dad.

Fred silently understood [y/n], and she sympathized with him as well. But that was as far as their friendship went. They joked with each other and worked well together when assigned — except they were never alone or were clingy towards one another.

Therefore, it was no surprise (nor new) that Fred sat next to her, at the almost end of a party at Ravenclaw. Both had a drink in hand and were laughing at their friends' jokes. Suddenly, the big group divided itself into pairs that were talking together, and [y/n] saw herself in a position to make conversation with Fred.

"Where's George?" she politely asked him while sipping her cup.

He looked down at her — even sitting, it was clear he was taller.

"Honestly," his eyes were smiling, "I have no idea."

She half-smiled, half laughed, which was her usual reaction when speaking to Fred. He had a humorous way of expressing himself even when it was not funny.

"Aren't you worried?"

"With George? No," Fred chocked; with a raised brow. "He'll manage. Wherever he is."

"Probably with a girl," [y/n] said with a calm tone that surprised Fred.

He knew he and his twin had a reputation (perhaps even Dumbledore did), but he didn't expect little miss [y/n] to mention that with such naturality. He didn't know why it bothered him; was it because he hoped to preserve his image of a good boy or because it was her?

"Wait, what about you?" she asked, realizing he didn't say anything about George. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend," corrected Fred in a huff. "We broke up last week."

[y/n] took a long while to stare at him, analyzing his features — the more she looked, the more concerned Fred got.

She didn't know about the news regarding Fred and Angelina, but she was nowhere near worried.

"Well, by the end of next week, you two will be together again," she shrugged, looking back at her drink.

"Not at all," Fred denied, moving his face.

"Come on, Fred," [y/n] lowered her hands, "you guys never last too much apart; at this point, it's almost annoying."

He stared at her, more shocked than before.

"You guys are always breaking up," she pointed out, this time with a sweeter tone, scared she was offending him.

"True," granted Fred, "but this time is for real."

"You said that last time," remembered [y/n], unable to hold her smile at the end of her sentence and making Fred smile too.

There was a pause before Fred decided to defend his point.

"I don't..." he swallowed. "Angie and I... we both know the relationship isn't going anywhere."

"Wow," [y/n] was surprised. They always talked about Fred's break-ups but never before had he said something like that. "You're serious."

Fred ignored her comment.

"George and I want to do something big, you know? And I need to be real about it, so might as well be serious about everything else."

[y/n] considered his comment. She knew it was his dream to open the joke shop. She also knew his parents were not very okay with that.

Another thing they had in common, she supposed. Her parents didn't support her dream of being an actress either. They were okay with her pursuing a career in the muggle world, but they did not want it to be acting.

"It's a good plan, you know, " she said, finally. "Just... don't lose your charm."

"Don't lose my charm, you say?" Fred smirked, getting closer to her, their legs touching each other in the small blue sofa of Ravenclaw.

"Not that charm," she said through her teeth, shoving him with her shoulder. But even when she hated him using his smirk with her, she ended up smiling. "I meant your drollery."

"Oh," he leaned back, the smirk fading. "I suppose that if Snape wasn't able to erase my joy, nothing can."

He was right, of course.

"And you, huh?" Fred asked, noticing that if he remained in silence, the conversation would die. "How's the porn acting career going?"

She pushed him again with her free hand this time, and he laughed it off. She was sure it hurt, though, because he remained to brush up and down his arm.

"I don't want to be a porn star, you creep," [y/n] hissed, but she wasn't that angry with his comment as she was leading him into thinking. "And I suppose it's going as slow as it can go when you are only sixteen and lives in your school."

"And have unsupporting parents," added Fred, tilting his head, feeling very clever with his suggestion. Until he looked at her and saw she was frozen. "Sorry, I didn't m...."

"You're right," she sighed, gulping her drink until she drank it all. Then, startling Fred, she started laughing, but it was nowhere near a desperate laugh as he expected. "Gosh, I just want to be over with school."

"Shocking enough, me too," agreed Fred, entering her cheerful mood with a smile of himself.

Two Years Later...

She avoided going to the Diagon Alley for various reasons, but the most important was to dodge encountering old classmates. But the Wizarding World was at the brink of war, and [y/n]'s mom insisted that her daughter should go out and buy everything they could need in case they had to go into hiding.

After hours of shopping, she left her parents at one of the stores and walked all by herself to the ice cream place, where she hoped to have a minute to sit down and breathe.

She was contemplating the busy streets, filled with workers and other wizards, all with the same desperate look her mom had on her face. She had noticed when Fred and George walked in the shop, but she hoped her well-placed table would be enough to hide her.

It wasn't.

"Oh, [y/n]!" shouted Fred, after taking the ice cream he chose with the attendant. He stepped in her direction, the expression in his face pure joy.

They had bumped into each other after school, but they always had other places to go and be, which left them with a chance only to say hi. But, seeing her, calmly, sitting with her ice cream, Fred thought it was the perfect chance to catch up with his long time friend.

"How are you?" he asked, smiling.

Noticing she had no escape, she pointed to the remaining empty chair at her table for him to sit and finally answered.

"Oh, you know," she shrugged. "Every day's crazier than the one before, and we never know how tomorrow is gonna be, so..." she dredged. "But I heard your shop is outstanding itself — congrats, Fred."

Fred only blushed because he didn't have time to comment on her praise since George appeared next to them, with his ice cream in his hands.

"Hi, [y/n]," he smiled, but his expression and tone were nowhere near the joy in Fred's.

"How are you, George?" she asked politely, noticing that she was braver to do small talk with George than Fred.

"Fine as one can be knowing Voldy's out there," answered the twin, his voice tone so standardized, it showed how many times had he answered that. "You do believe in his return, right?" he asked; suddenly, he remembered she used to be a Slytherin.

[y/n] pretended not to care when George suggested so easily otherwise, even though Fred, in front of her, seemed close to slapping his twin. She was used to other people's prejudice.

"Oh, I do," she said. "I'm with parents buying supplies, really but, right now, I just ran away from them."

"They're getting on your nerves?" asked Fred, quickly remembering their time in school when [y/n]'s mom used to send her letters almost every day.

[y/n] took in Fred's friendly and joking smile. She didn't realize she missed the twins. Missed Fred.

"My mom knows how to stress someone," [y/n] let out.

"Probably learned with ours," commented George, sighing playfully. Then he turned to his twin, "Fred, we gotta go; we can't leave Verity alone for too long."

Fred pressed his eyes shut with enormous force — he knew his twin was correct, but he didn't want to leave.

"Go ahead, George, I'll catch up," Fred said finally, avoiding [y/n]'s eyes, scared it would reveal that she did not want him there.

They were friends or at least used to be, and after school, they just lost touch. [y/n] pushed herself away from all her friends on purpose, and Fred didn't think he could be an exception. Besides, she spent most of her time in the muggle world, pursuing her career — which was no secret to the gossip of wizardly London that she was failing. She had yet to get any parts in any movies or plays, and the most prestigious families were saying all horrible things about her.

His own mother was one of the gossipers spreading rumours, but every time she said anything near Fred, he would jump at her, shutting her up.

"So..." she started saying and scratched her throat. "How's your family?" she asked finally. "I bet your mom doesn't complain about the joke shop anymore."

He smiled. It could be awkward between them sometimes, but it was pretty easy to fall into a comfortable flow.

"She doesn't, you're right," he laughed with his nose, pausing to take his ice cream. "And Ron is always asking us for money now."

"As he would," [y/n] smiled, remembering tenderly of the lovely Weasley family.

"And you? How's the career going?" he almost joked as he used to do, mentioning she was a porn star, but now that the rumours said she basically had no career, he was scared she had run to that option as her last resort. And who was he to judge?

"You mean acting?" she asked and puffed, playing with her ice cream. "I've given up on it not so long after I left Hogwarts."

"You're kidding."

"Nope," she sighed. "I tried, sure, 'cause I'm not that coward, but.. it was clear it wouldn't turn out to be anything. I'm always the weirdo at auditions, always saying something wrong... I thought watching tons of muggle movies would leave me as a great performer of the muggles' grimaces, but it sure didn't. Or simply just wasn't enough."

"I can't believe you quit," he said. "You craved it so much back at school."

"That's cause I didn't know what it really was like back at school," she sighed again. "They don't want me not even backstage."

"That can't be true!" Fred looked — and it probably was the first time [y/n] had seen him like that — a mix of angry and exasperation.

"Don't let it get over your head, Fred," she avoided his eyes. "I don't."

He stared at her, for a moment just the two of them and the silence.

"Besides, I'm working with my dad at his muggle bookshop," she shrugged. "You should stop by anytime. if there's someone that can make you read a book, and like it, it's my dad."

Fred still wanted to talk about [y/n]'s acting career but he understood the subject could still be sensitive to her.

"I doubt that," Fred let himself smile again.

They spent more minutes talking, picking up in all the subjects they could and then reliving old memories until Fred remembered he had to go back to work.

He got up, saying his goodbyes, while [y/n] stood there, her ice cream already eaten.

"See you, Fred," she said, her tone clear of her sadness.

Fred only took two steps before turning back at her. He pressed his hands in his pants pockets — a million feelings going to his head, most of them telling him to give up.

But he remembered how much he wanted to do that since Hogwarts, and with her, and only with her, he simply never gathered enough courage.

And that wasn't fair.

[y/n] deserved a chance with him as much as any girl. He deserved a chance with her as much as any guy.

"[y/n]," he swallowed, nervous as her eyes met his, "would you by any chance like to go out with me?"

"I'd love to!" she said, not even remembering she ever wanted to go out with him, but now feeling like that was all she ever craved.

Two Days Later...

The night had been exciting. Spending hours before a mirror, hoping for the best look had paid off, [y/n] noticed because Fred Weasley couldn't stop staring at her with big eyes.

They managed to talk a bit about everything, always having something new to add to their conversation. Even when they remained in silence, it wasn't bad. It was anxious but great.

And then he insisted on dropping her off, which only made her more nervous. She wanted to kiss him and she hoped so badly he enjoyed his night as much as she had so he would want to kiss her too.

At Hogwarts, she could not deny it, it had occurred to her kissing Fred. However, it was always when she was too drunk to manage a congruent thought or when her friends asked who of their friends she could kiss. But the fact is: they never did.

A corner of her mind wondered if she ever really did have a window with him back then, but school memories were all a blur in her mind. It seemed obvious now that she and Fred could match, but back then, not so much.

Fred was thinking the same. He liked her. He always did.

They knew each other before Hogwarts, and even if at first (she being a Slytherin and all) they were apart, their friendship rose so easily on their second year and managed to stay firm until the very end.

He remembered wanting to kiss her but it was never as bad as he wanted now, when he had her hand in his, and she was blushing simply because they were standing side to side.

And when he finally did, finally allowed his lips to touch hers — heavens — he could have died right then. It felt right. It felt good.

Fred had kissed many times before, but none felt as close to perfection as this time.

He pulled her in softly by her cheek, letting his lips simply brush against hers and she gasped, opening her mouth, desperate for more.

Then his hands were everywhere, and [y/n] was not reserved herself. She pulled forward, holding grasp of his hair, and it was unclear to determine who would let go first.

Perhaps never let go was a good solution. They both thought so.

One Year Later...

Fred Weasley lied before her, forever moveless.

She could not believe it.

She reached for his cold hands and squeezed, hoping her touch would be enough to reverse what was irreversible.

On both of her sides, there was a Weasley crying, desperate as much as her.

But the only one feeling as hollow as her, the only one that could compete as her sadness was George. No words were able to comfort.

Not right there, not at the burial ceremony, not at her empty apartment above the joke shop.

Everything reminded her of him.

They had been together for only a year, but he was her best friend before that. Somehow, when she played different scenarios in her head, she felt like she could have suffered more if they had stayed just as friends.

It was the latest memories the ones that hurt the most. She knew they were in danger when the war began, but both were not going anywhere, and Fred had hope.

Every night in hiding he would hold her against his bare chest and whisper that they were going to be okay. Sometimes he even joked she would get out of it with a movie deal about the Wizarding War.

[y/n] and George helped each other out of their worst moments, creating a friendship tighter than they had before. But, eventually, she knew that without Fred she did not belong in the joke shop building.

At Fleur's and Bill's wedding, Fred had made her promise she would try the film industry once again.

"You know," he said, whispering in her year while they slow danced, "your dad says you like to write. Perhaps you should write a script."

"Perhaps," she smiled. "But about what should the movie script be?"

"About me, of course," he joked.

How she wished he was there with her.

Walking in to deliver her first script.

About them.

About her.

About him.

[ialwaysgobacktoit]

Azriel surprises Gwyn for her birthday PART. 6

Guys just so you know i need to think of a better name for this bc like THIS IS GETTING BIIIIG (I have a playlist on spotify called "what would gwynriel sing" and i think i'll draw inspiration from there lol)

IT'S GWYN'S POV AGAIN (and this one's a little shorter lol i'm sorry... Rhys is in this chapter bc i honestly share the headcanon that Gwyn and Rhys would be close friends!)

MY GIRLS: @starbornsinger @madie2200 @katiebellf here it is!! And check out the Chapter List here

Gwyn couldn’t deny. She was nervous. That morning the words just rushed out about leaving the library, because she truly felt inspired by Diane’s words. She had spent the previous night awake, even if Emerie and Nesta had long fallen asleep, thinking about what she had to do next. She was feeling braver. Maybe it was because that was the best birthday she had since Sangravah, or perhaps ever, due to the circumstances. She still missed Catrin like crazy during the day, still felt that familiar ache in her chest when she worked at the library in the afternoon, or went training in the morning. But somehow, after everything that has happened in the evening, the lingering image of her sister started being more of a comfort, a companion, than the sorrow and guilt she was accustomed to.

Still, she was nervous.

She did really want to leave the library, and Clotho seemed happy, maybe even proud, to let her go. Merrill didn’t care as long as she kept working for her, at least a couple hours a day. One day, Gwyn thought that would change too. But for now, one step at a time. The night she went to the Town House and dined with the Inner Circle was one of many small steps Gwyn’s been giving these last few months towards more autonomy, independence, and strength. Towards the life she wanted for herself. And now, the day where she decided to move out of the library was the day she took another one.

And Azriel… Honestly, she thought she would be more scared about the prospect of having a mate than she actually did. Most of all, she was happy. She felt lucky and had the confidence that if anything were to happen between the two of them, they would take it slow, at her pace. She wouldn’t have it any other way. That if Azriel were to find out about the bond any time soon; or if she would summon enough courage to tell him. Because if he did know, he would’ve said something by now, wouldn’t he?

Yep. She was very nervous.

What she dreaded the most was the fact that Azriel, well, he may not feel the same once he found out. The Cauldron could be wrong, after all. And all these last months of getting closer to each other, training in companionable silence, laughing together, bantering… She was more than grateful for their friendship, but she knew that Azriel still had some things to figure out – about Elain. If he truly still felt something towards her, that was enough to strain Gwyn’s hopes for the moment. To maintain the quiet feeling to herself, and what it meant; that she was indeed worthy of happiness not only alone, but with another one.

She tried to push all those feelings aside as she was getting ready for dinner at the River House, the High Lady and Lord’s official estate. She looked at herself in the mirror, spinning side to side. It wasn’t much – after all, she didn’t have any clothes besides her robes, nightgowns and training leathers – but the outfit the House provided was more than enough. Her baggy turquoise linen pants and her white, loose crop top made her extremely comfortable, even if the latter was slightly shorter than what she was accustomed to.

She still wore the necklace Azriel re-gifted her. When he told her a few months back about the whole story, she truly understood him. He was in a bad place at the time, but so did she. And even if he had indeed made a mistake, she was glad to have it now. To know that someone gave it to her willingly, that was the thought she held on to. First person considered or not. And besides, it looked great against her freckled skin.

A gentle knock on the door of her new bedroom sounded. “Gwyn, you ready?”

“Yeah, come in”

Nesta opened the door and something sparked in her eyes as she stared at Gwyn through the mirror.

“You look beautiful, girl”

She spun on her heels and smiled at Nesta.

“I do, don’t I?”

They both laughed as they linked their arms and left the room.

“So” Nesta begun, as they walked towards the main entrance together “How are you settling in?”

“It’s very cozy, and I just love that view. The House is providing me everything I need at the moment. Thank you for inviting me to stay.” She gave her sister a grateful smile

“Well, I was serious; you can stay with us for as long as you want.”

“That means a lot.” Gwyn couldn’t contain her smile as she gently nudged her head against her sister’s.

“Don’t mention. I know you’d do the same for me.” And Nesta was right. Without thinking twice, Gwyn would have done the same for both of her newfound sisters. She was so grateful and thrilled their paths had crossed this way.

“By the way” Nesta mentioned innocently when they reached the common area “The room you chose, well, that’s three doors up from Azriel’s. If you have a problem with that, feel free to say it.”

And as she was summoning his presence, that was the moment the Shadowsinger came to vision, talking to Cassian in the balcony – waiting for them.

Gwyn drew on a breath, staring straight at him. When he caught her eye, she couldn’t help her smile. And when his eyes glittered, scanning her from head to toe, she answered quietly to her sister:

“No. I think that’ll be fine.”

*******

The River House was beautiful. Gwyn admired it as the four of them stood by the front door. It was big, but the decoration made it seem comfortable and cozy, despite its size. A true home, Gwyn thought.

Feyre opened the door, a warm smile instantly on her face.

“Come in!”

As soon as they stepped on the entrance hall, Gwyn marveled at the big painting on display. It was a portrait of Nesta as she held the line at the Pass of Enalius. Her cunning eyes seemed to look directly at anyone who came in, daring and challenging. “This is amazing.” She said, tearing her eyes from the image at last and looking at Feyre. Cassian and Nesta had already entered the living room and Azriel stood by the doorway, lingering.

Feyre was still smiling at her when she answered. “Thank you very much, Gwyn. I have others I can show you later, if you’d like.”

“I would love to. You have a beautiful home.” And she could barely conceal the emotion in her eyes as Feyre held her hand and sighed gratefully. She, maybe more than anyone, was well aware of how lucky she was to have such a family.

“We do.”

It was just when she reached the living room and beheld all of those who Feyre and Rhysand loved the most she felt Azriel’s presence still a few steps behind her, his eyes fixed upon her. A tendril of shadow curled up slightly at her wrist, as if saying We’re here. So she looked back for half a second before entering further into the room, only enough to meet his cryptic gaze and give him a half-smile. And couldn’t help the sparkling feeling in her chest when he gave her a reassuring nod.

*****

The night was going on peacefully. Gwyn didn’t say much, and it was rather content in observe. That way, she didn’t feel exposed, and also could get to know the Inner Circle better: their dynamics and bantering, how they acted around each other and discussed both serious and light topics. Elain, for example, was sitting in a chair in the corner, drink in hand. She only joined for dinner, ate quietly and then excused herself from the table for a long time. Rhys and Feyre took turns in watching Nyx, since this evening he went to sleep early. Emerie and Mor were having what seemed to be a very intimate conversation, knees touching and heads close, and Nesta and Cassian, well… They were being their usual selves.

And then she landed her eyes on the Shadowsinger. He was definitely the quietest of them all, even if during dinner he had participated in the more serious subjects of conversation and exchanged a few casual words with Gwyn. She could observe enough to notice he didn’t once glance at Elain, or her at him, and that they kept their distance. He actually seemed to have spent the evening doing the same thing Gwyn was, which was observing; except for him it was natural, a second skin. He certainly had enough time these hundred years to know well about the rest of his family, while she was doing that precisely to learn more about them. If it was easy for her to be like this, for him was instinct.

She couldn't stop but detain herself on the details of his face, though, as he now spoke to Mor, who had subtly approached him. He wore that inexpressive mask, but she could see the way his brows were slightly furrowed, his jaw set just slightly... There was something concerning him, making him uneasy. She wondered, maybe for the tenth time, when she would tell him. Or if she should let him find out by himself. And again, her heart fluttered as he put his hands in his pockets and nodded along, listening to Mor.

How could the Cauldron have chosen this? To have defined them as mates... He was the one who saved her, who’d seen her low, who helped her at the very worst moment of her life. And although she would be forever grateful for it, she was aware he had enough on his plate – to burden him with her feelings... She didn't know what to do. It was at that moment their eyes locked across the room. She didn't realize she had still been staring, and quickly darted her eyes away.

Only to meet with Rhysand’s staring at her from across the table.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

Oh, shit. Shit. Gwyn contained her gasp. He heard her. She didn't know for how long, but he could read her thoughts.

I was just going to ask you if you were feeling okay.

She knew what he meant. But still...

"Please. Please don’t say a word". She managed to whisper to that presence in her mind.

He doesn't know? She could feel his curiosity. Although they were still staring at each other, his face yielded nothing.

"I don't think so. Please, just…"

Don't worry, Gwyn. I won't tell him.

She could've cried in relieve. "Thank you."

He only nodded at her and raised his glass, and she could feel his presence fading from her mind.

*****

When they arrived at the House of Wind, a few hours later, Gwyn was still a little uneasy. She needed to learn how to shield her mind properly; even if she felt she trusted Rhys’s word, she couldn’t feel relaxed at the thought that someone else knew about what she’d only recently discovered and were still trying to figure out.

She could barely stare at Azriel when they flew all the way back. They remained silent all the way to the House of Wind, and her gaze remained fixed on the city landscape below them, or on the skies above. Never on him or their closeness, even if she’d caught him glancing at her a few times. They landed just a few minutes after Nesta and Cassian. When she meant to let go of his hand, he held it just for a moment longer:

“Did you have fun tonight?”

She nodded, managing to bring a smile upon her face. She didn’t want him to see how nervous she was; they were never like that around each other.

“A lot. Your family is very…”

“Extravagant?”

“I was going to say kind. But they might be a little extravagant, too.”

The corner of his lips tugged upward, and she let out a quiet laugh. “Are you going to sleep now?”

“In a few hours, maybe. I think I’ll hit the training ring first.”

She nodded. His shadows swirled a little at his shoulders. She seemed to forget about her nervousness for a second as she noticed his slightly furrowed brows, as if he was concentrating: “You know you don’t have to restrain them, if it tires you.”

“They should behave better.” It was all he grunted back, slightly annoyed at his dancing shadows.

“Well, I don’t mind at all. I like them. So at least around me, you shouldn’t worry about it.”

The seconds her eyes held his stare were enough to make Gwyn feel like she could burst – or touch him, again. So she turned away and smiled over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Az.”

All she felt before reaching the stairway was a tendril of shadow gently curling around her arm.

[bisexualsharpay]

Some Red writing prompts:

How can a person know everything at eighteen/But nothing at twenty-two?/And will you still want me when I’m nothing new?

Or

I wish that we could go back in time/And I'd say to you/"I miss you like it was the very first night"

If you were to ask Gabriella why she decided to dress up and put on a little extra make-up for the New Year’s party, she would not be able to give you a good reason.

At least, if you don’t count hoping to rekindle a one-night flame five years later as a good reason.

Every time she returns to the ski lodge, a tradition for the Montez women, she thinks back to that night, to the fear she felt up on that stage and the flame that ignited as she stared into those blue eyes that still haunt her to this day.

And then the heartbreak of never seeing him again. If only she knew then that he would leave as suddenly as he showed up. She might have acted differently, said something else. She might have been a little braver.

As she enters the room where the party is being held at the lodge, she immediately feels her body growing rigid as she feels the sensation of eyes on her, of someone watching her intently.

It can’t be. It’s just her imagination.

Yet, as she frantically regards the space around her to find whoever is watching her, she freezes in shock.

It’s really him.

Troy is here. And he recognizes her.

It’s as if time has slowed down, the world turning in slow motion as they slowly make their way through the crowd to meet each other in the middle, finally meeting again after all those years.

A million thoughts run through her mind as his voice, a lot deeper than she remembers it to be, floats to her ears. “Hi.”

Where have you been?

“Hey.”

Troy’s hand reaches up and he scratches his neck as he smiles sheepishly. “It’s been a while.”

Why didn’t you call?

She lets out a small laugh and nods as she bites her lip nervously. In an attempt to break the ice, to make her heart not feel as heavy, she asks him, “Done any singing lately?”

A twinkle sparks in his ocean blue eyes and her heart flutters in her ribcage as he grins down at her. “You have no idea.”

There’s a silence as they stare at each other for a few more moments, revelling in each other’s presence and trying to find a way to articulate the many words unspoken.

Finally, Troy’s the one to break the silence.

“It’s good to see you, Gabriella.”

I miss you.

Something deep inside Gabriella snaps at his words, a dormant feeling breaking loose. How she still longs so much for this boy she spent one night with after so long, she doesn’t know. It should scare her, but it doesn’t. In fact, she revels in it.

As such, she smiles up at him, shyly, as she says, “Likewise.”

I miss you like it was the very first night.

[pickalilywrites]

Can we please get some Gabi/Falco? I loved From the Top of the Mountain; it’s one of the best works with those two out there. Maybe it takes place post Rumbling? Just something with those two

thanks!!! i'm glad you liked from the top of the mountain!! it's still one of my favorites too :) I hope you like this one too! have a good day ^-^

How to Be Brave

Falbi. Canonverse.

5136 words.

Read on Ao3!

Falco doesn’t know how Gabi does it. He’s never been the type to charge headfirst into the crossfire, but Gabi will do it without hesitation. Ever since Falco can remember, Gabi has never been afraid of anything. The first day they had been selected as Warrior trainees, she had marched into the classroom without a second glance. She does things with purpose, never second-guessing her actions or faltering. Every trigger Gabi pulls, she does without wavering, holding the gun steady as she takes aim. Every attack she carries out, she does so without batting an eye. Every battle, she runs straight into the battlefield. She’s fearless and the bravest person Falco has ever met.

Falco is not brave. He’s the biggest coward he knows. Despite being a Warrior candidate for years, he’s always hesitating. He fumbles with his gun, always pulling the trigger too late and missing his target because he’s never certain of where he should be aiming. He finds himself rooted to the ground far too often when he’s taken into the warzones, never knowing what step to take lest a mine blows up in his face. Falco’s never been at the head of a charge, and he’s not sure he ever will because if he pauses for even a second his whole entire squad will be blown to bits.

“Tell me how,” he tells Gabi one day. He walks up to her desk, tugging at his earlobe and biting his bottom lip. “Tell me how you do it.”

Gabi looks up at him from her textbook. Written exams are probably her weakest subject, but that’s not saying much considering how exemplary she is in the other ones. She’s hardworking and stubborn enough to compensate for her weakness anyway. With an eyebrow quirked, Gabi says, “I’m afraid you’re going to have to be more specific.”

Falco nibbles on his lip some more, fidgeting uncomfortably and tugging at the sleeves of his school uniform. How can he admit in front of Gabi that he’s afraid? He’s a coward, he knows, but it’s different saying it out loud in front of someone like Gabi. She’s the person that he admires the most. It’s highly likely that she already knows of his cowardice, but for Falco to say it out loud would only solidify that knowledge and he’s not even sure he can do that. The inner conflict he’s having of even voicing his problem out loud just shows how pathetically indecisive he is.

“I don’t know … how to be brave like you,” Falco says bitterly. His eyes turn away from Gabi. He hates how weak he feels right now, weaker than he’s ever felt before. “I … How do you do it? You never hesitate about anything. You always know where you want to go and how you want to do things. You never second-guess things. You’re always … brave and I … I’m not.”

He hates the sting in his eyes as he finds himself on the brink of tears. It figures that a weakling like him would be brought to tears over something so stupid. He wasn’t meant to be a Warrior, not like Gabi. Half the time, he doesn’t know why he was selected to become a candidate, but the rumors of the selection committee choosing him because of his family’s long-time loyalty and his elder brother’s position as the next Beast Titan feel more and more true each day. Without those connections, Falco probably never would have been chosen. He probably wouldn’t have even been noticed.

There’s a scrape of Gabi’s chair against the hardwood floor. When Falco looks up, Gabi is standing in front of him. She doesn’t look at him pityingly, but she doesn’t look disgusted either. He’s crying now, sniffling and trying to wipe the snot from his nose and the tears from his eyes, but Gabi is kind enough to pretend he isn’t.

“It’s not something I can teach you,” Gabi tells him, and Falco can feel his shoulder slump even more. She flicks her hair out of her face with a hand and continues. “‘Being brave’ or whatever … it’s just how I am. I was just born like this. You can’t learn it.”

It makes Falco feel like a fool for even bringing it up in the first place. So he’s just going to be a coward for the rest of his life, always second-guessing himself and being unsure if he’s doing the right thing while Gabi will always be charging ahead. It’s a part of Falco that he’ll never be able to change. He’ll just be a loser for the rest of his life.

Gabi sighs and it’s enough to make Falco flinch. He wants to apologize for wasting her time over such a stupid question. Of course, she’s right. Of course, he’ll always be lacking and scared and she’ll always be better than him. Of course, he’ll never make a proper Warrior. He’s about to bow his head and apologize, but Gabi speaks first.

“Look,” she says. Her voice is gentle now, lacking the usual fortissimo that Gabi usually speaks with. “We’re different, you and I. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it makes a difference on the battlefield.”

Falco nods. He’s known that for quite a while now, but it’s still difficult to hear it come from Gabi’s lips. “I … I know,” he mumbles.

“No, look,” Gabi says, waving her hand as if to tell Falco not to get upset. She looks up at the ceiling for a moment as she thinks of the proper way to proceed. After a moment, she claps her hand and begins to explain. “It’s like you said, right? I’m really good on the field because I don’t hesitate. I know my targets, I shoot without hesitating, and I never second-guess myself.”

Falco doesn’t quite know where she’s going with this, but he nods to show that he’s listening.

“It’s because I always know what to do,” Gabi says simply. Falco gives her a funny look, but she simply shrugs like she can’t give a better explanation. “I’m always certain about what needs to be done. I know myself well — how fast I can run, how far I can throw, how strong I am when I throw a punch — so I trust myself when I’m on the battlefield. I don’t hesitate because I never need to; I know what I’m capable of.”

Falco’s eyes are downcast once more. Everything Gabi says makes perfect sense. While Gabi knows and trusts herself completely, Falco doesn’t. His cowardice stems from the fact that he’s always afraid about his lack of abilities. Whenever he’s on the field or even just training, he’s always doubting himself. Is he able to run this distance without his legs giving out? Is he able to shoot this target without missing? Does he have the strength to charge into battle without collapsing midway? And the answer is always the same: it wavers first from thinking perhaps he might be able to do it if he strains himself before Falco begins to think that he doesn’t have the strength or stamina to do any of these tasks and then he inevitably falls into despair when he convinces himself that such things are impossible for him. His thoughts lead him to falter more and more with every step he takes, to have his hand waver every time he points a gun while his finger trembles on the trigger, and cause him to fall behind every time he’s ordered to run into the crossfire.

Falco supposes that’s it then. He’ll just be a coward for the rest of his life while Gabi will always be ahead, increasing the distance between them until she disappears from his view completely. He thinks that’s what he’s the most afraid of.

A hand appears in front of Falco and it surprises Falco when he realizes that it’s Gabi offering her hand to him. He’s not sure if he’s supposed to take it. His hand reaches out, but he never puts his hand in hers. His hand just hovers above hers awkwardly, uncertain even for this simple thing. It seems to surprise even Gabi, who looks at him with her eyebrows raised.

“It’s okay if you’re afraid. I’ll never be afraid of anything,” Gabi says. She puts her hand closer to his, wiggling her fingers to show him that it’s fine. “I’ll show you how to be brave, so just take my hand. I’ll stay by your side.”

He’s not sure if he can take her hand. Falco’s not sure if he deserves to be by her side. He’s afraid that he’ll only hold Gabi back. Is this really okay? Is he really worthy?

He clenches his fist before reaching out. Even if he doubts himself, he trusts Gabi. Gabi believes in him enough to offer him her hand. She trusts him enough to allow him by her side. She has faith in him even if he doesn’t.

Gabi smiles when Falco takes her hand, and he smiles back in response. It’s not as confident as her smile. It’s a little strained, a little uncertain, but it’s fine, Falco thinks, because he’s holding her hand. He’s not sure how this will all work out or if it ever will in the end. He doesn’t know if this will make him braver on the battlefield. He doesn’t know if it’ll lead to a happy ending, but for once that doesn’t matter. Holding Gabi’s hand, he forgets all his uncertainties and thinks that maybe he can be just a little bit braver.

»»————-　➴　————-««

Gabi doesn’t know how people do it — get out of bed, eat, function. She doesn’t remember how to act like a real human being. It takes nearly all her energy to get out of bed only for her to be so exhausted that she wants to collapse back against the pillows and sheets and cry herself to sleep like she has for so many nights.

She doesn’t know when this started, her inability to sleep, to eat, to wake. It’s post-traumatic stress disorder, a doctor said, because of the war. Gabi’s not so sure. It might have started before then, before the Founding Titan rose and the Walls of Paradis came crumbling down, before she had left Marley and vowed revenge for her friends and family, before Eren Jaeger declared war on Marley and destroyed her home, but Gabi isn’t sure when exactly it had begun. In the end, it probably doesn’t even matter.

A lot of days Mikasa comes in to check on Gabi, sitting on the edge of the young girl’s bed and stroking the hair from her face before asking how she’s feeling. Sometimes Gabi will mumble something about how she’s tired or sleepy, but the most frequent response is just the sound of silence as Gabi pretends to be asleep. Mikasa will stroke her hair and hum a song, some old Eldian song that Gabi doesn’t know, before leaving. Armin will often hover in the doorway, mumbling questions and trying to get through, but Mikasa will always usher him out. Gabi always hears them whisper to each other: Armin asking if she’s getting any better, if she needs to see the doctor again, if he should talk to her, and Mikasa will tell him that she just needs time to heal. They all need time to heal, but Gabi’s not sure she ever will. It feels like Gabi is the only one that feels this way: scared and sad and hopeless. There are days where she’s convinced that she’ll never get better.

Mikasa has her bad days, too. There are nights where Gabi will wake to Mikasa shaking her, screaming until Gabi opens her eyes and then the woman will cry with relief that “Sasha” is still alive. Some days Armin won’t leave the house at all, saying that he never wants to take a step outside because dreaming of the outside world is the thing that had cursed him in the first place. That’s what it’s like on their worst days.

On their best days, Armin and Mikasa will go for a walk. Maybe Gabi will get out of bed, but she’ll never join them outside. It’s too much for her. Even sitting down at the table and staring out the window can be overwhelming for her, but she’ll do it on days she feels strong enough. They are the best days because Armin and Mikasa will walk hand-in-hand and return home with smiles on their faces as if they hadn’t cried the entire night before. It is as if they forget all the horror of the war almost a year ago, but Gabi knows they’ll remember it when the sun sets and the night comes. But at least for a brief moment they can smile.

Gabi can never get herself to smile. It’s as if she had forgotten how. She thinks even if she were able to, she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to do it. It’s more than the depression or the stress or whatever psychological disorder the doctors are trying to diagnose her with to explain her melancholia. It’s like she’s scared of everything: of waking up, of leaving the house, of even the idea of being happy. She’s afraid she’ll never find a way to be happy again. She’s afraid she doesn’t deserve it.

It makes Gabi jealous when she sees Armin or Mikasa smile. She pulls her blankets over her head whenever she hears the two of them laugh together. She wants to scream when they hold hands. The truth is, though, that she wants to be able to smile, to laugh, to be held, but she doesn’t know how. She’s convinced that she will just have to be miserable for the rest of her life. It’s what she deserves anyway. She isn’t sure about anything else, but she knows that for certain.

Falco comes to visit sometimes. He comes at least once a week. He lives with Levi now that the war is over. (“It’s good that the old man has someone to take care of him,” Mikasa says once before Armin quickly chastises her for speaking about their former captain that way.) Falco never makes it past the doorway. He always comes to ask about Gabi, her condition, if she feels any better, if she’d like to go out for a walk with him because the fresh air might be good for her. Mikasa always tells him the same thing: that Gabi is still recovering, but that they’ll let him know when Gabi’s well enough to go outside. He never complains when he’s turned away.

One day he visits on a “good” day. Gabi sees him from the window walking up the path to the cabin. Even though she wonders if he sees her, she doesn’t wave. She just watches him as he follows up the path eventually leading to the front door. He knocks in the same familiar way that he always has — three quick raps of his knuckles against the hardwood — and Mikasa opens the door for him.

“Hi, Miss Mikasa. Mister Armin,” Falco’s voice says from the doorframe. He sounds good. Happy. Normal. He sounds like everything Gabi wishes she could be. She can hear him speak again, his voice a little more hesitant this time. “How … how is Gabi today? Do you think I could see her?”

Mikasa takes an uncertain glance at where Gabi sits. Gabi knows what she looks like: a mess. Her dark hair is in disarray, tangled from lying in bed all day. There are bags under her eyes because all her dreams are interrupted by nightmares. Her face is gaunt because she can hardly swallow more than three bites of food whenever she musters the energy to sit up for a meal. Gabi doesn’t blame Mikasa when the woman shakes her head and asks Falco to come back another time.

Gabi didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. She never says goodbye. She never even says hello. It’s because she’s too tired, too worn, too broken to even fathom greeting someone who seems to be doing worlds better than her. Every time Falco visits, she tells herself that she’ll feel better next time. She’ll be able to walk to the door and give him the smallest smile before inviting him in. They’ll be able to sit at the table and have tea that Armin brews for them. They’ll take a little bit about what Falco is doing and maybe he’ll invite her outside and she’ll think about it if she’s feeling better. If she ever feels better. If she can ever feel better.

The thought that Gabi might always feel this way — cold and alone and barely living as it is — seizes her. It makes her blood run cold and she grips the edge of the table with a hopeless desperation because this isn’t what she wants. She doesn’t want to be here, trapped by her own feelings of fear and grief and despair. She wants to be outside with Falco, to hold his hand, to smile. She doesn’t want to be alone anymore, but the idea that she can ever be happy is so hopelessly out of reach.

It must be in a fit of madness that she gets up from the table, her chair screeching as she pushes it back and nearly toppling over as Gabi runs to the door. The broken girl is stopped only by Mikasa, who grabs her by the elbow.

“Gabi, what is it?” Mikasa asks, eyes wide with alarm and her brow knit together in concern. Even as Gabi struggles to free herself from the woman’s grip, Mikasa holds onto the girl firmly. “What’s wrong?”

“Let go! I need to go!” Gabi says, and she’s crying now just like she always does these days. Tears stream down her face and taste like salt on her tongue. She swallows her sobs and wipes at her nose hastily with the back of her hand. “I want to see him! I want to see Falco.” It’s more than that though. She wants to see him. She has to see him. She needs to see him, but he’s already walking down the path, slowly growing smaller and threatening to disappear from view.

“Gabi, wait, just wait a minute,” Mikasa says. Her arms are wrapped around Gabi, holding the frail girl back even as Gabi struggles. Her face buried in Gabi’s shoulder, Mikasa says, “Wait a moment, Gabi, please.”

Gabi doesn’t want to hear it. She wants to fly out the door, run down the trail, and throw herself in Falco’s arms. She wants to be where he is, a place where the grass is greener, the sun is shining, and she can smile.

“Gabi,” Armin’s gentle voice calls. As Mikasa’s arms loosen around Gabi, the man drapes a soft cardigan around Gabi’s shoulders. It’s far too big for her but it smells like wood and freshly lit candles. Armin helps guide her arms through the sleeves and pulls the cardigan around her. “Gabi, don’t worry. He’ll wait for you.”

“But I have to go now,” Gabi says and she feels herself about to burst into tears once more.

“It’s fine,” Mikasa says and she reaches out to smooth a lock of hair away from Gabi’s forehead. She gives the girl a comforting smile. “Just … come back home, okay?”

Gabi pauses and then gives them a nod. Without warning, she throws arms around both her guardians and whispers a quick, “Thank you.” She feels their arms squeeze her back in reply and as soon as they let go, she dashes out the door.

It’s been so long since she last exerted herself. Gabi’s breathless after the first few seconds, panting hard and gasping for breath. She doesn’t remember the last time she had been this exhausted. Even during her grueling training periods as a Marleyan Warrior she can’t recall getting tired so quickly. Her legs are beginning to ache even though she hasn’t even run a hundred meters from the cabin. Her lungs feel as if they’re about to burst, burning with every breath she takes. Her body hurts too much. She doesn’t know how far she can go, how many more steps she can take before she collapses, but she can’t stop.

She can see Falco in the distance, his back turned to her. He doesn’t realize that she’s running after him. Why doesn’t he know? If she calls him now, will he turn back?

Gabi doesn’t think she has the strength to call his name, but she musters whatever energy she has left and screams his name as loudly as she can. “Falco!” she shouts, and even she can hear how weak her voice is. “Falco! Falco, Falco!”

It’s only after the third call that Falco turns around. Gabi is close enough to see his face. His lips are parted, shaped in a perfect “O.” For a moment, she’s afraid that he’ll turn away from her, that he’ll abandon her, but he stays rooted in place, waiting for her. She’s so relieved she can cry.

“Falco, Falco!” Gabi sobs. She calls his name the entire way. She’s so tired that she doesn’t know how she’s able to make it. She doesn’t stop until she’s right in front of him, falling into his arms and clinging onto him because he’s the only thing that’s keeping her standing.

“Hey, hey,” Falco says gently. It’s so comforting to hear his voice so close to her. It’s deeper than Gabi remembers, but it’s still so warm and familiar. “Gabi, it’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

“Help me, help me,” she begs, her voice shaking. She holds so tightly to him that she might tear the sleeves of his shirt. She just wants him close. She wants him closer. “Help me, please.” When she sinks to the ground, he does too, holding her in his arms to cushion her fall.

“Help you?” Falco repeats. He doesn’t ask her why and he doesn’t ask her what for. He just raises her head, his hand gentle as he lifts her chin. She sees his blue eyes wide with concern. She feels his other hand wipe away her tears as he asks her, “How?”

“Make me … help me … be happier,” she tells him, and she feels so pathetic for asking him for such a thing. There used to be days where she’d smile all the time and laughter was not far from her lips. Happiness came easily to her, but those days are long gone. She doesn’t know if she remembers how to smile anymore. It’s something a child can do, but she finds it so impossible.

How had she become so helpless and pitiful? Once, she had been a proud warrior. She could wield a gun and fire it without thinking twice. Now, she can hardly get out of bed in the morning because the thought of it terrifies her.

“I just want to be happier,” Gabi whispers. Her voice is so quiet that she’s afraid that her words go unheard, but Falco quickly clasps her hands in his.

“Then you should be. Why shouldn’t you?” Falco tells her with such sincerity that she thinks she might cry again. “Isn’t it what you deserve? You deserve to be happy, Gabi.”

She should be grateful that he thinks so, but for some reason she hates hearing it from his lips. It’s what she wants to hear the most. It comes from the person she cares about the most, but she knows that the words he says are not true.

“No.” Gabi shakes her head. Tears begin to roll down her cheeks again. There’s no point in stopping them. She begins to pull her hands away from Falco’s, but he holds tightly to her. It almost hurts for her hands to be held so tightly, but his hands are so warm around hers. “No, Falco, I … of all people, I deserve it the least. I … how can I be happy after everything that has happened?

“I killed people,” she tells him as if he doesn’t know this already, as if he hadn’t been there when she had blown the trigger, as if he hadn’t seen her paint her own hands with blood. Gabi shakes her head when Falco begins to open his mouth to interrupt. Whatever words of comfort he has for her, she doesn’t deserve them. “I killed people thinking they were monsters, but the whole time the monster had been me.”

“Gabi, please,” Falco pleads. He tugs her hands closer, pulls her in closer to him. “That wasn’t your fault. The things we were taught … the world we lived in … how were we to know right from wrong?”

Gabi shakes her head, dark hair falling into her face and obscuring her vision. “And all of our friends … our family,” Gabi says. She closes her eyes and her tears burn down her cheeks. She used to be able to conjure up the faces of her loved ones so easily with her eyes closed, but now their features are faded to her. She’s unsure of the smallest details — the right angle of their nose, the thickness of their eyelashes, the exact shade of their hair — and she’s afraid that in time they will completely fade from her memory. “I couldn’t save them and it’s all my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Falco reaches out with a hand and brushes her hair from her face, tenderly tucking it behind her ears. When Gabi glances up at him, he looks at her with eyes full of sincerity like he knows his words to be true. “It wasn’t your fault, Gabi. Nothing was your fault.”

Falco leans over and hugs her tightly. He rests one hand on the back of her head, letting Gabi’s head lay on his shoulder as she continues to sob. He strokes the top of her head and continues. “They wouldn’t blame you either, Gabi. Nobody would. They wouldn’t want to see you like this. They would want you to be happy,” he tells her. “All they would want is for you to be happy, so don’t you think it’s time for you to stop punishing yourself?”

Gabi wishes she could. She wishes she could stop crying. She wishes she could live a normal life. She wishes she could be happy.

“But I’m scared,” she whispers.

She’s scared that she doesn’t deserve to be happy even if people say otherwise. She’s scared that she’ll muster the courage to get out of bed and eat and leave the house only to be reminded that she doesn’t deserve any of those things. She’s scared that she’ll try to live normally only for something to go terribly wrong — for the world to tremble underneath her feet, for the sky to fall, for the earth to shatter in front of her very eyes — because the universe knows she doesn’t deserve any bit of happiness in her life.

She even hesitates to indulge in little pleasures. She’s unsure if she should eat more than a bite of the food Armin prepares. She’s uncertain if she should reciprocate the hugs that Armin and Mikasa give her. She doesn’t know if she should even go outside and enjoy the scenery because everything is more than she deserves.

“I’m scared,” Gabi repeats. She holds onto Falco tighter, her fingernails digging into his shoulder, but he doesn’t pull away. “I’m scared and terrified of everything. I’m too afraid to ever be happy.”

Falco squeezes her tightly. “Then I’ll teach you how,” he tells her. He says it like a promise. He pulls away slightly. It’s far enough so that he can see her face but still close enough that he can hold her in his arms. He’s smiling now. It’s not broad and carefree like it used to be when they were children. It’s a little cracked at the edges, a little forced, a little bit pained. It’s a little bit hopeful. “In a world like this … it’s brave to try to be happy, but it’s hard being brave, isn’t it?” His voice isn’t mocking. It’s gentle. Sweet. Understanding.

Gabi feels exhausted. She doesn’t have the energy to answer in words. She just gives him a simple nod.

“You don’t have to be alone, Gabi,” Falco tells her. “You have me. You have Miss Mikasa and you have Mister Armin. You have all of these people who care about you. You have all these people who want you to be happy, and we’re always going to be there to help you.”

“Thank you,” Gabi whispers. She slumps against Falco, his arms the only thing holding her up. She’s crying again, but she cries tears of gratitude this time because Falco says everything she’s always needed to hear. For the first time in a long time, she feels hopeful. She says the words she’s always wanted to say out loud: “I want to be happy.”

Falco smiles a little more broadly this time. It’s not the same smile as when they were kids. Gabi’s not sure they will ever be able to smile the same way again, but she still wants to smile again. She wants to smile with him.

“I’ll help you,” he tells her. Falco stands up, but he doesn’t bother brushing the dirt from his clothing. Instead, he reaches out a hand towards Gabi. “Let’s be happy together, Gabi.”

She’s not sure if she should take his hand. She doesn’t know if she should rely this much on him, if she should be this much of a burden to him, if she deserves his help, but she wants it so badly. There’s a possibility that she won’t ever be happy even with Falco’s help. There’s a chance that she still might not be able to smile. There’s a risk that this might all just be a fool’s dream … but it’s a risk that Gabi wants to take.

Gabi puts her hand in Falco’s and lets him pull her up. She lets him fuss with her hair and clothing, lets him run his hand through her hair to get out the tangle and brush at the skirt of her nightgown so that the dirt doesn’t stick. She lets him take care of her and when he looks at her to make sure she’s okay, she gives him a smile.

It’s far from perfect. It’s hardly a smile at all. It’s just her lips with the edges curled slightly upward. The smile doesn’t reach her eyes. Even Gabi knows it’s a pathetic attempt and it hurts to stretch her lips this way. She can feel her smile crumbling at the edges. It’s scared and broken and uncertain … and hopeful.

[chaseatinydream]

sly san who sacrifices (iv) || c.s (atz)

➳ pairing: reader x choi san (ateez)

➳ word count: 1948

➳ genre: badboy au; fluff; angst

➳ synopsis: to the school, he may be a bad boy, the worst of the worst, but to you, he’s choi san, father of three cats, your best friend and ultimately, the boy you’re in love with.

>>>

You and San sit beneath the ivy covered frames, a thick book in your lap as you flip through the pages, thoroughly engrossed in the story. Above you, golden warmth touches your cheeks and falls onto the aged paper of one of your favourite novels while San snoozes on the tabletop opposite you, head resting on his forearms. Sighing, you put your book down for a moment to look at San, admire how peaceful he looks when he’s asleep, the world slowing down and fading all around you, universe reduced to only you and him.

“I love San.”

Your fingers grip the material of your shirt, as if you could reach through your very chest and relieve the phantom ache of your heart. San is unimaginably dear to you and the truth is like a raging sea, locked deep in your body. Seonghwa had told you that San truly did love you too with every fibre of his being and you want to believe the older man so badly, but fear digs its claws deep into you and you can’t help but wonder…

What if he doesn’t love you like you love him?

That thought scares you like nothing else.

“One caramel frappe and and a mocha latte.”

You’re pulled from your thoughts by the voice of the waiter as he sets two drinks before you on the tabletop. Your eyes widen slightly at the extra order and you frown, glancing upwards to look at the waiter. “I’m sorry, but we didn’t order the mocha lat-”

“No, I did.” San cuts in smoothly and you start in surprise, you thought he’d been fast asleep. You’re stunned for a moment, cocking your head curiously to look at your best friend as he reaches for the hot drink. San busies himself with stirring the contents of the cup for a while, but your gaze doesn’t let up and he sighs, raising a hand to close your mouth for you. “Close your mouth or you’ll catch flies.”

You shut your mouth, but you’re still staring at him in confusion as you reach for your own drink. “But… we always share a frappe.” You mumble, near petulantly. It shouldn’t mean so much, it’s only a drink, of all things, but it does to you. The two of you have always shared the same drink every time you’ve come to this cafe, regardless of rain or shine, regardless of happiness or sadness. To not do so is like breaking tradition, a change that you really don’t like. San must see the unhappy look on your face, because he hesitates for a second before pressing the latte to his lips.

“I just thought... I wanted to try something different.”

Your eyebrows pinch together at his words, because as flawless as the mask San wears, you’ve known him long enough to pick up the tiny breadcrumbs in his demeanor, hidden meanings behind his words. The sentence holds more weight than it appears to, but exactly what he’s trying to say, you don’t quite understand at the moment.

In an attempt to lighten what feels like a rapidly thickening mood, you force a smile onto your face and reach for San’s hand, the charms around your wrist tinkling in the summer air. “Seonghwa and I are going to study for our tests tonight over at my house, do you want to come with us?”

He tries to hide it, but you see him flinch and panic grows, little by little.

“Nah, it’s okay. I don’t want to interrupt.” San replies a little too quickly, tone a little too cold and you find an uncomfortable feeling twisting about in your gut, he raises the cup to his lips and downs the entire thing in one gulp before rising to his feet. Dread fills you, San’s uncharacteristic behaviour is throwing you off more and more and you can’t help but worry about just what is on his mind.

“Sanshine-” You try to say, but San cuts you off quickly, mercilessly, before the rest of your words can leave your mouth.

“I need to get going, I have stuff to do tonight.” He murmurs softly, his eyes downcast; he’s not quite meeting your eye. You want to catch him by the hand, hold him close and demand to know why exactly he’s acting this way, but before you can do anything along those lines, San has already turned on his heel and left the cafe, striding out with quick, brief steps… as if you’re something he can’t wait to get away from.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You moan despondently as you grab a pillow and roll onto your back, staring at the ceiling of your bedroom. It’s decorated with stickers of little cats, placed there by San, you recall glumly. Seonghwa looks up from the biology notes sprawled across his lap across the room, leaning slightly against the edge of your desk to face you more comfortably.

“You’ve been awfully distracted the last few hours and it’s nearly nine already.” The older man says with a wry smile on his face. For such an infamous “bad boy”, Park Seonghwa is remarkably sensitive to moods and feelings, you’ve realised. “What happened today?”

“I hung out with San today at the cafe we always go to, but he was acting weird.” Your pen goes flying across the room as you take out your frustrations, Seonghwa’s eyes following its flight trajectory overhead. “After he told me he had stuff to do tonight, he just left me there! He even ordered a mocha latte instead of sharing the frappe with me. He’s never done that before!”

“Oh?” The blond sounds rather amused by your little outburst but you don’t notice, instead continuing with your little rant. “I can’t believe I just found out that I like him and he’s suddenly being all strange? What if he’s tired of me as a friend? What if he doesn’t like me anymore? What if he–”

“Calm down and breathe. San isn’t the sort of person to just grow tired of his friends.” Seonghwa soothes you gently and you catch yourself, fanning your face to get rid of the heat that has built up there. “Maybe you should visit San at his house and confront him about it, I’m sure that’ll make you feel better.”

You pause for a second to consider the idea. In all honesty, it’s not a bad one, and there’s a rampant curiosity in your chest that refuses to go away until it’s satiated with the answers it desires. “But we were studying…” You turn to look at Seonghwa with an apologetic frown, but the older boy just waves it off, smiling brightly at you.

“Your relationship with San is more important.” He says reassuringly and you nod with urgency, feeling adrenaline pumping through your veins from the excitement and anticipation of seeing San again. Snatching your wallet and keys from the table, you slip and slide dangerously on your way out of the room and nearly give Seonghwa a heart attack when you come dangerously close to tumbling down the stairs in your haste.

“Good luck!” He calls after you, but he merely gets the sound of the door slamming in reply and chuckles.

The bus ride across town to San’s house is long enough for you to calm down and think seriously about what this could mean for you. Your head pressed against the glass panels of the bus window, you had wondered what his behaviour could mean, what he really felt about you. So far, you were unable to come up with any concrete answers, with San’s unabashed personality, if he did like you, wouldn’t he just have told you straight to your face?

Or could Seonghwa be wrong?

Grumbling to yourself under your breath, you stomp up the hill that San’s mansion is on, anxiety and worry twisting inside of you with every step you take. The closer you draw to your answers, the more you want to flee from them; San was always the braver of the two of you. You tuck your hands in your pockets and glance up at the night sky overhead to gain control over your emotions, but they don’t want to leave, instead nestling even deeper into you, burrowing into your chest and clinging on tight.

With a sigh, you stop in front of the iron wrought gates and, before you can allow hesitation to undo all that you’re determined to do, smash the doorbell with all the strength you have. Seconds tick by and stretch into what feels like hours, every breath leaving your lips slow and unsteady. When the gates finally do creak open, you raise your head, expecting to see San standing there, but to your surprise, it’s someone else dressed in a dark suit and a worried frown.

“Claude?” Your eyes widen and you glance around him, as if expecting to see San behind him. “Where’s San?”

“Young Master left earlier this evening, but he didn’t tell me where he was going.” Claude tells you worriedly, shaking his head. Then the butler is searching your eyes and you pull back, suddenly a little uncomfortable at his intense stare. “Young Miss, did you have a fight with Master San earlier today?”

That question doesn’t make sense to you for a moment, individual words and meanings floating around in your frazzled mind before you manage to string them into a sentence that you can comprehend. “What?” Is all you manage to say, breathless and confused. Why would Claude think that you and San had argued today? In fact, you were confused about why San seemed so unhappy around you today.

“Young Master left this behind when he went out.” Claude tells you seriously, rummaging around in his suit pocket for something. You frown, leaning over to glance over at what the older man has in the palm of his hand.

What you see shocks you.

It’s the cat charm bracelet that you and San share.

“I know it’s not much, but happy birthday, Sanshine.” You tell him happily, doing the clasp around his wrist. San raises his hand to admire the simple black band, the silver cat charm dangling from it. Satisfied with your work, you sit back on your heels and show him your own wrist with a grin. “Now we match!”

San’s smile softens as he runs his fingers along the cool metal, beaming brightly at you.

“I’ll never take it off.”

San, what changed?

Fear slams into you for a second, insecurities and worries and panic settling over you as you reach over to take the bracelet from Claude with shaking fingers. “Why would San leave this behind?” You whisper to yourself, clutching the silver charms tight in your hand. The bell hanging at the end of it tinkles cheerfully, in stark contrast to the storm of emotions you’re experiencing.

Does San… Does San not want the two of you to be friends anymore?

“Young Miss, do you want to find Young Master San and speak to him? He’s been worrying me that last few days.” Claude says grimly and for a second, you want to say no, because the signs couldn’t be more obvious, San doesn’t like you and doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore. Your hopeful heart for anything more shatters like glass, but you wipe tears you hadn’t even known were falling and look up determinedly at the stoic butler.

“I want to see him.”

You refuse to let him slip past your fingers without answers, because he’s worth more than that.

You love him, even if he doesn’t love you back.

[bellemorte180]

Darkness Becomes Thee (working title)

Okay, so I am working on this one shot. I just finished the opening scene and am going to share it here. This is the only glimpse you will get of it until it is finished. I am very excited about it and am proud of how this opening scene came out. Granted details may change from now until the finished produce but let me know your thoughts:

Hungary 1302

The rolling hills of Hungary burned brightly in the afternoon sun. In the distance, a stone castle appeared almost serene against the clear blue sky. Birds could be heard chirping in the distance, their songs holding a sense of melancholy that hung in the air. A cool breeze brushed the trees aside, sending a few floating to the ground, landing softly on the banks of the river that flowed uninterrupted. The river was wide and massive, a wooden bridge having been built a mile south in order to cross it.

The river served many purposes. People from the village used it as a means of catching fish for their evingin support or to sell in the small market that was located just in the middle of the town. Others gathered the water to drink from or to even bathe in. Children would skip rocks on the shallow parts near the bank. Some of the braver children would sink their toes into the sand and wade out into the water until their feet could no longer touch. For the river had heard at least a hundred years or so of laughter, children playing and the splash that came alone with such happiness, but it had also heard at least just as many screams. What the river had rarely heard was such silence that fell over its waves.

A small girl no older than eight sat on the bank of the river, gazing out into the crystal blue water. She was a pretty girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes that mirrored the color of the sky. She wore a long pink muslin gown that was made of fine fabric, for her family was clearly wealthy. She sat on the patch of grass just before the bank turned to sand. The branches of the giant oak tree beside her blocked her from the heat of the sun, allowing her to enjoy the cool summer breeze as her eyes never left the water.

Upon first seeing the scene, the man thought that the young girl was alone and enjoying the day. At first he wondered where her chaperones were and how could anyone leave her alone in such a manner. For awful things happened to pretty girls who found themselves alone. It wasn’t until the sound of splashing drew his attention from the small girl. In the river was another young girl but the man could not see much about her, whether she was pretty or well bred was a mystery. All he could see was that the girl was struggling to keep her head above water.

The second girl splashed her arms, causing a small ripple in the waves. Her arms would go up, flaying out as though she was signaling that she needed help. Her mouth would open, only to be filled with water and unable to scream. The man assumed that if he stumbled upon the scene moments earlier, he would have her yelling for help; begging to be saved from the current that was threatening to take her under. If someone did not act soon, this young girl would drown.

Instead of rushing into the water in order to pull the girl from her fate, he turned his gaze back to the first girl. This girl just sat upon the grass, her eyes never leaving the sight of the drowning girl. It was obvious that she saw the other girl but had nothing to provide any sort of aid. She did not appear to be running to the castle that was about a mile from the river or screaming for help, praying for someone to come and help this poor girl. She didn’t attempt to wade into the water in order to save this poor girl herself; most likely daming them both to a watery grave.

Instead this girl just sat upon the comfortable grass, watching.

The man was intrigued and stepped forward, slowly. His boots made a light sound in the grass, making his presence easily known. However the girl did not turn to look at him, her focus refusing to be broken from the scene. Once he reached her, the man lowered himself  to the ground next to her and gazed out at the girl who was still struggling to breath. After a second, the first girl turned her head, causing her blond hair to flow softly in the breeze. Her startling blue eyes looked at his irises that had flecks of gold lingering in them.

“She will die if you don’t help her.” The man replied, an accent that was unfamiliar in the village flowing from his cherry lips. Not an ounce of worry or concern flowed across her small petite face. The man gazed into those blue and found a void in them that he only saw when he looked into the mirror. For a second he thought it was his own damaged soul gazing back at him. The illusion was shattered the moment the girl laughed.

It was cheery and happy, a laughter that could only fit a beautiful child. It was a laugh that made it easy to adore this child, one that would have any adult wrapped around her finger. The man studied her and could see that she was well cared for, loved even. Yet, he could see something in her that he saw in very few, something he didn’t see in even his siblings.

A reflection.

“I know.” The girl chuckled, giving her shoulders a slight shrug. She turned back to look at the drowning girl whose struggle was becoming slower and slower. The man had experience with drowning and knew that this child was in pain; her body rebelling as it struggled to breathe. He knew that within the next few moments, her lungs would fill with water, her limbs would go stil land and her vacant body would float down the river banks, only to be discovered by someone whose remaining existence would be scared by that moment. “But I’m curious. I’ve never watched anyone die before.”

The man could almost feel a chill run over his skin. He was old and very little scared him but how this small beautiful child spoke about death was something that was rare and void of any hint of humanity. He could not help but have his interest peaked, curious as to who this girl was and what she would one day become. He was already preparing the ways he could study her from afar, getting to know exactly who this girl was.

“I have a feeling Sweetheart, that her death will not be the last one you bear witness to.” The man told her sweetly, imagine all the things he could show this young girl when she was just a bit older. She still held such little innocence that even a monster such as himself didn’t want to stamp that tiny bit out just yet. His eyes flickered to the girl in the river, noting that the sound of splashing had ceased and saw that the girl had stopped fighting. “Who was she?”

The blonde girl whipped her head to look at the river again, gazing at the now floating body in the river. Her head cocked to the side ever so slightly, engaged at what she was seeing. Slowly, she stood from her spot in the grass and walked towards the edge of the bank. The man could feel the bubbling excitement that she was feeling. There was a rush of adrenaline within the young girl and given the fact that she had not appeared to have a hint of remorse at her actions made him all the more pleased.

“Sweetheart?”

“Sorry. I got distracted.” The girl replied, but her tone told him that she was not paying much attention to him. Her blue eyes could not look away at the girl whose body was slowly floating down the river. The man decided to give this moment to her because he could sense that she was not about to answer him any time soon. So he waited until the body had floated so far down the river that neither of them could see her anymore. Only then did the girl turn back to him, making her way towards him, only stopping just before she reached him. “She was the daughter of my mother’s handmaiden. We played together often. She was going to be my personal handmaiden when I got older. I suppose we will have to find a replacement.”

“I suppose you will.” He searched her face for a hint of sadness at the death of her friend and yet he found none. If anything she seemed annoyed at the prospect of having to find a new friend to play with. Human life clearly meant little to her, only useful when it benefited her end game. “Tell me, whose idea was it to play in the river today?”

“Mine.” She gave him a look as though she was challenging him to say a word, a challenge for him to tell her she was wrong for what she had done. The man remained silent, providing the acceptance the girl needed. “She didn’t want to come, not at first. Not really. But I made her. I wanted to see what it was like to watch someone die. Have you ever watched someone die?”

“Many, many people.” The man replied and he leaned in close to her. “And can I tell you a secret?” The girl nodded eagerly, causing him to chuckle at the sparkle and curiosity in her eyes. “I killed my own mother. Tore her heart from her chest and watched as she bled out on the ground.” The man reached out and tucked a stray lock behind her ear, looking at how bright her smile had become. He could see she thrust to know more but knew that the one question that most would ask was not lingering in her mind. Why? The reason didn’t matter. Not to her. “Go on now. Go back to your castle. I’m sure that we will see each other one day again.”

The girl gave out another happy chuckle and skipped around him, heading in the direction of the castle. The man looked over his shoulder, watching as she weaved through the fields alone. He waited until she was out of sight before standing and walking alongside the river, knowing full well that one day he would come back to Hungary just to see what that young girl becomes.

[cafedanslanuit]

Day 3 of Mystic Messenger Week 2020 @mysmeweek2020​: Firsts.

pairing; Zen x MC

summary; “The first time she threatened to leave me, I felt like I was dying.”

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 .❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 .❀。• *₊°。

The first time she threatened to leave me, I felt like I was dying.

I came home from rehearsal, exhaustion mixed with a bad headache that was begging for me to drown it with one of the cans of beers that were waiting for me in the fridge. But as soon as I opened the door, I was received by the image on my girlfriend, eyes red and puffy, sitting on the couch with a suitcase in front of her. She turned her head to me as soon as I entered the room and sniffled, cleaning her face with the sleeve of her sweater.

“Zen, I’m leaving,” she said, her voice hoarse but determined. I felt a sting in my forehead, the pain becoming worse with her words.

“Leaving?”

“I can’t stay with you anymore,” she explained, looking down at her hands. “I’m gonna be at Jaehee’s”

“What do you mean you can’t stay?” Her words and not making any sense. I felt as if she were talking in any other language but our own. Hadn’t she been the one to prepare breakfast that same morning?

“You’ve become obsessed with work, Hyun. I know it’s important to you, but these past few months I’ve been trying endlessly to help you lose stress and relax, but you don’t even want to spare a few minutes on me,” she mumbled with a tint of sadness in her voice. “And I know I’m not your top priority, hell, I shouldn’t be but… I should still be a priority. If I’m not… then you need to figure out by yourself if you still want to be with me,” she shrugged.

“You’re breaking up with me?” I asked, incredulous.

She set her eyes on mine for a second before looking down at her shoes.

“I just need some time away” she muttered, her hands turning into fists. I huffed, annoyed, and walked to the kitchen, passing by her side. I took a can of beer from the fridge and then leaned on the frame that separated the living room for the kitchen. The sound of the can as I opened it filled the silence between us both.

“Time to think” I repeated in a low voice and then scoffed. MC let out a tired sighed and grabbed her suitcase, heading towards the door. The pain in my head turned into a barely manageable hell, now accompanied by my heart clenching at the image of her walking away. Had I really messed up so badly she couldn’t stay anymore? I tried to go over the many times she said she had tried to reach out to me, and they slowly came to my mind. Fuck. I had been using breakfast as an example of normality when I suddenly realized I hadn’t even sat with her to eat, but rather grabbed an apple and went straight to work, wanting to practice my lines for the role I had been given a couple of months ago. Raw desperation formed a lump on my throat, and I took another sip of the beer to feel I could breathe.

"Bet you can't leave me"

MC turned on her heel almost immediately, her expression filled with confusion and heavy offence. I put the beer on the shelf by the door and took a deep breath.

“I bet you can’t leave me” I repeated, standing my ground.

“What are you saying?” she asked in a whisper.

"I bet I can make you fall in love with me once more"

MC sighed and put a strand of her hair behind her ear. "That had nothing to do with this, Hyun, I'm..."

“Just… listen, okay? I know I fucked up. I won’t even try to deny it. This role…”

“It was more important than us” she countered.

“No. But it’s about a guy who is abused by his parents, so then escapes home. Lives on the streets, starts selling drugs and basically, his whole life goes down the drain just for him to have a final soliloquy about how fucked up the world is and finish himself off. So I tried to get inside his mind to understand his character better, only to realize I used to be that guy. And that his life was the life I should have had”

“Hyun, what...?”

“That maybe, people are just lying when they talk about me having talent,” I interrupted her. “That maybe my place was back at the motorcycle gang. That maybe I don’t deserve this life, that maybe I don’t even deserve you”

MC’s expression softened, but the worry on her eyes only made me revisit more episodes of my past life I had worked for years to bury in the back on my mind. I shook my head, a sharp pang on my right temple making me wince.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. I was thankful she didn’t approach me. Somehow, she knew that physical space between us was the only thing letting me open up about this.

“Because I was afraid it was true. I had this… voice, like a persistent thought, that if you realized this too, you would also realize I didn’t belong by your side,” I confessed. She let out a long sigh and passed her hand over her hair, messing up her bangs.

“We’ve been together for three years now, Hyun. You know you can talk to me about anything. You used to do that, we would always talk about these things that scared us”

“I guess this one really fucked me up.” I bit my lip, a loud ringing tone filling my ears. “Babe,” I breathed out, the smell of alcohol on my own breath making me sick to my stomach. “Trust me on this. Just… stay here. We don’t even have to be a couple anymore if you don’t want to. But trust me when I say I can make you fall in love with me once more. I won’t be your boyfriend if you don’t want me to. For as long as you want. Right now, I just want to be someone who really, really wants you to trust him again”

“Hyun, I trust you and I love you, that’s not the issue here,” she shook her head.

“I know the role it’s not an excuse. It’s a cheap move and I won’t be that guy. I take responsibility for how I acted. I should have… I should have been braver and talked this with you before. But... I still think you should stay. Give me a chance to fix this, babe,” I pleaded. “I know I can do it”.

MC crossed her arms in front of her chest. How I hated I had put that doubtful expression on her face after she had chosen me from the start. When she first had come to my house when I injured myself; her smile and the care in her actions made my heart explode in such a little time. And I had repaid her with doubt and uncertainty.

“Why would you want me to stay here if I decide we won’t be together for a while?” she asked, a small shrug on her shoulders. I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

“Because I'm enamoured with anything and everything you do, MC,” I answered, a small still playing on my lips. “I've been in the wrong, yes, but God... I've never loved anyone the way I love you. And I know I’ve done a terrible job these last few months to show you this, but it is true. I think I love you even more than I love myself.”

“Don't love anyone more than you,” she muttered. There was a ghost of a smile on her lips that gave me hope. I took the remaining steps that were keeping me away from her.

“I know,” I said, tilting my head to the side. “But I think you leaving tonight is a lose-lose situation”

MC rolled her eyes and shook her head softly, her smile now a little wider. When I stopped in front of her, she set her eyes back on me and I could tell how much she was weighing in her options in her mind. I put my hand on her cheek and she instantly leaned on it, making me smile. How I loved the fact our bodies responded to one another even if our minds were a mess. I bent down slightly, reaching her face, my eyes never leaving hers.

"Bet you can't leave me" I whispered against her lips, smelling a trace of mint on the breath emanating from her parted lips. "Bet you still love me" I dared her.

MC pressed her lips against mine with a whimper, and circled her arms around my neck, pulling my body closer to hers. I immediately set my hands on the small of her back, the inviting warmth of her body making me know that was the home I never wanted to leave. MC’s lips moved against mine with an uncharacteristic force, as if she were driven by something she couldn’t control.

There was no way I was letting her go. I couldn’t give up on that woman. I kissed her deeply, my heart fluttering at the soft moan that left her lips as I licked her bottom lip. One of her hands sank into my hair, fingers slightly pulling on it as she tried to bring me even closer. How I wished there was a way I could melt my body in hers, that kiss only reassuring my thoughts that when two souls loved each other, their bodies always seemed to get on their way.

She finally pulled away, panting for air. Her cheeks were burning, making her look even more beautiful than she already was. She finally set her heels on the floor and took her arms down, but her right hand quickly grabbed mine, holding it unusually tight. MC bit her lower lip and took a deep breath, her eyebrows furrowed in determination.

“I’m pregnant”

The pain on my head quickly disappeared as I felt like a bucket of ice water was poured over me. My heart beat up even faster than before, my gaze going back and forth between her apparently lean stomach and her big eyes. All the noise around me stopped, along with my surroundings. There was only her, only MC standing in front of me, her body still trying to regulate her breathing. Before I could notice, a tear fell from my eyes, followed by a second and a third.

My legs gave up as I sank on my knees, my eyes set on my girlfriend’s clothed stomach. Experimentally, I touched it with two of my fingers, afraid it was too good to be true and would be over before I fully understood the miracle in front of my eyes.

“It’s been six weeks, you won’t feel a thing,” she explained. “It still doesn’t show and--”

Her words were cut off as I hugged her waist, burying my face on her stomach. I felt my whole body shaking uncontrollably, an almost gravitational pull from her body keeping me close to our creation now growing inside of her.

“Please don’t leave. Please don’t take them away for me, please,” I begged, grabbing fistfuls of her sweater as a lame attempt to stop her.

“Hyun, no,” her relieved chuckle rang on my ears like a church choir, her smile resembling the one of an angel as I looked up at her. “I’m not leaving. I wanted to, at least for a while so you could come back to your senses but… I honestly wouldn’t have kissed you if I had decided to leave today. If I hadn’t thought you truly realized where you went wrong,” she explained, threading her fingers on the loose strands of my hair.

“I’ll be better. For both of you. I swear I’ll be the best man you’ve ever met,” I promised, feeling the tears forming in my eyes again.

“I know you will, Hyun. I know you can do anything when you set your mind to it. After all, that’s why I chose you” she grinned, a soft laugh escaping her lips.

The first time she threatened to leave me, I felt I was born again.

It was also the last time she ever talked about walking away.

[obeiii-mee]

Heya!

These are PDA imagines for the brothers. I’m maybe thinking of doing some of these for the non-dateable characters in Obey Me but for now, any more than seven characters would be too much.

————————————

PDA Imagines for the brothers:

Lucifer:

-Lmao no

-He wouldn’t be able to act all soft in public now would he?

-not when Diavolo’s around anyway

-He doesn’t want to make a big deal out of your relationship in public

-He will proudly hold your hand and maybe kiss you on the cheek

-But being in public means formality

-He also gets very embarrassed when you hug him in public because he can’t help act all soft around you when you’re being so cute

-Though it’s mostly because he’s so busy, running around after his siblings and Diavolo and dealing with their shenanigans

-The brothers will also tease the shit out of him whenever they see you just sitting next to him

-Give him time and he’ll be more than willing to try PDA from time to time

-But when you guys are behind closed doors, that’s a whole other story

-Hug him from behind and he will stop working for a good two minutes

-Overall, not a huge PDA fan leaning to not liking it at all, but he will always make a few exceptions for you

Mammon:

-He will try to act like it doesn’t faze him

-I mean, c’mon, he is the GREAT MAMMON after all, he can handle a few kisses in public

-Spoiler alert: no he can’t

-You can’t even hold his hand without him wanting to bury himself underground because damn it M/C, it’s embarrassing

-Wait, that doesn’t mean you stop doing it!

-No matter how much he complains and tries not to make a big deal out of it but is actually dying on the inside, he really wants you to keep holding his hand

-Even when you try to take your hand away he’s like:

-“Hey, what are ya doing? Why’d you stop holding my hand? I like holding hands with you- I MEAN, YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO HOLD HANDS WITH THE GREAT MAMMON!”

-“....”

-“....Can you hold my hand again please?”

-PDA starts off awkwardly for him but in the end he kinda likes it

-Especially if he feels threatened by someone else or he feels like you’re in danger

-Cue protective hug

-He doesn’t even care that much when his brothers make fun of him

-He’ll grumble a quiet ‘shut up’ but ultimately not care

-Because he’s got your attention and affection and you’re babying him in public and he likes it

Levi:

-I don’t think he knows what PDA is

-He basically lives in his room and will only come out is absolutely necessary

-Even indoors he’s all flustered when you shower him with affection

-He’d die if you as much as compliment him while outside

-It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it

-He actually craves your attention and approval all the time

-24/7

-Hell, wake him up in the middle of the night to kiss him and he probably won’t complain (much)

-But you know, he already has enough of a problem with socialising on his own

-Having you there might make him even more socially awkward

-On one hand, he doesn’t want to bring attention to himself because he thinks he’s a gross otaku and you should be embarrassed to be seen with me

-But on the other hand, he has an amazing partner who he can show off to all the demons passing by and that makes him feel a lot better

-But in the end, PDA barely happens considering he doesn’t get out of his room

-Unless it’s an emergency or to get to the nearest convention

-After a while, he will feel braver and reciprocate your gestures right back to you

-One of those moments he manages to make you flustered out of nowhere

Satan:

-I feel like he doesn’t mind it

-Like he’s OK with it

-Doesn’t love it, doesn’t hate it

-He sometimes dislikes it because somethings are meant to be private

-But your cuteness will actually be the death of him someday and he can’t help but kiss you out of nowhere while walking down the street because you were petting a stray cat and looked so adorable and fuck

-You lowkey have him wrapped around your finger tho

-PDA is more likely to happen if he had an outburst of rage at someone

-Which, again, don’t happen that often because I’m guessing he started going to therapy or something for his anger issues

-You’re probably the only one that can calm him down

-Just cling to him and say his name and he will forget all about that demon he was about to throw out the window of the library

-Cue public cuddle session

-He is not embarrassed to cuddle you in public

-Prefers not to because, like Lucifer, a bit of formality is necessary while doing his errands and tasks

-But he doesn’t mind doing it

-Will, in fact, stare anyone down if they are looking at you two weirdly

-If anything, you’re the flustered one while he’s just holding you in his lap while reading

-Will act totally normal as if you guys do this everyday

-Which you kinda do but not in public in the library of all places

-He’s OK with PDA but as mentioned before, any proper intimacy will take place in private

-Good luck with that dear M/C

Asmo:

-Yes, yes, yes, yes

-Grabby hands all the way

-But seriously

-He is literally the Avatar of Lust

-He will not refrain himself from flirting with you and inappropriately touching you just because you’re in public

-“What’s the matter dear? I thought you liked it when I kissed your neck?”

-“Not in fucKING PUBLIC ASMO!”

-Couldn’t care less if it embarrassed you

-If it makes you uncomfortable that’s a whole different story and he would stop if you ask him to

-But other than that, he will take every opportunity to grab you or kiss you

-And you guys go out a lot

-Especially shopping

-Off topic but he buys you a ridiculous amount of clothing and most of it is pretty revealing because Asmo

-Would probably fuck you in a public or semi-public place if you were OK with it

-Kinky but what did you expect from him

-He will gladly accept those hugs and kisses and everything from you

-He loves PDA and will probably take it to another level completely if you were to agree with that

-If not, things would certainly get more interesting at home

Beel:

-He also doesn’t get fazed by it

-He kinda likes it actually

-But I think he just likes showering you with attention in general

-Not only will he return those hugs but he will proceed to pick you up and carry you around

-Bonus points if you give him a snack afterwards

-He doesn’t really care what the others think of him

-He’s probably the most composed out of all of them in public

-Like he doesn’t make a big deal of the affection you’re giving and will reciprocate as if it’s nothing

-He’s pretty oblivious to the stares you two are getting but whatever

-PDA also happens if he feels the need to protect you from something

-Bear hugs

-He’s unusually warm, almost as warm Belphie

-Will give you piggy rides even if you don’t ask for them

-10/10 would recommend hugging him

Belphie:

-Another one that doesn’t really come out of his room

-I mean, he barely goes to R.A.D because sleep is more important

-But on the rare occasion he’s outside, he’s almost always somewhere near you

-This boy is practically cuddling you while walking

-Or while you’re half carrying and half dragging him to places

-He probably falls asleep on you regularly in class and all that

-Has no shame whatsoever

-He’s fine with kisses in public if a little grumbly because it’s Belphegour

-But he will accept your acts of affection with open arms

-Kind of a Yandere so the fact you are willing to shower him and only with this much attention and all that in public, pleases him

-Sometimes he initiates the kisses

-And it scares the shit out of you because wasn’t he asleep on your shoulder just now??

-Forget hand holding

-He’s now using you as a moving pillow

-Beel is usually there to relieve you from the weight of his twin and carry him from there but not without some whines of protest from Belphegour

-Loves PDA but will never admit it

[gr-ogu]

i absolutely love the fact that lyra is forever the one being braver than will in the sense of coming out and telling him what he means to her, she's not doing nearly as much sidestepping around how much she cares about him, she just comes right out and says it. will kinda has to be pushed into these moments of vulnerability where he actually tells her he cares about her (he shows it a lot though so she knows, i would hope). it makes sense because he never had a best friend before and she did

what i mean is she had roger and they were younger and less hurt by life and much more likely to be open to one another about what they meant to one another. i'm sure roger and lyra never doubter for one second that they were each other's best friends and though the world of each other. will's had one person in his life who he loves unconditionally and loves him back, his mom. he never got to have friends and i think he's probably scared shitless he'll lose the one friend he has now

I think the thing about Lyra, one of the many things I love, is that it doesn’t occur to her to be any different! If she’s got something to say, she’ll say it! Not that she doesn’t have tact, because she does, especially when she is lying, but she doesn’t think it’s worth wasting time and talking in circles when you can just get straight to the point. He means a lot to her? He’s gonna KNOW about it, she’s not good at keeping her cards close to her chest in that sense, whereas Will is the total opposite, he’s always HAD to; paint on the mask, don’t let anyone see, survive. But yes, like you say, he is very good at showing it in what he does, where Lyra is slightly more awkward. He’s used to being a care giver and showing his love and affection through action, so he will do that through acts of service, or protecting her. But it’s wonderful to see how quickly they both break down each others’ walls and start to trust each other, even from ep1 🥺

It does make sense, especially because of the lives they have lead too! in Lyra’s world, there’s still a lot of misogyny and inequality, which is particularly emphasised through Marisa. But Lyra was raised almost entirely around men at Jordan College, and the proud and boisterous nature of the Gyptian children, so it’s natural she’s more forthright and outspoken, as well as previously having that best friend relationship with Roger, like you say! Whereas for Will, it’s always been about disappearing, blending in, not attaching yourself to anyone because that can get you noticed. And I agree, Lyra didn’t even know her parents initially either, they were sort of an abstract concept to her when she thought they had died, so she hadn’t felt that keen sense of loss and grief like Will had either. He’ll be even MORE worried now that he’s lost his father For Real and Lyra is gone 😭💔

[ranger-kellyn]

oh my god i was listening to Cherry Pie while getting ready for bed and tHEN the song 'Might Not Like Me' by Brynn Elliott came on right after and like. INSTANTLY. i thought of like some kind of more or less modern "band au" where Purah and Robbie are in different bands. They're not. Rivals. per se. but they're not. NOT. rivals, y'know??

neither purah or robbie are the frontmen of their bands, but both their bands are known for always doing covers each show, alternating which band member picks the cover for the night.

and weirdly enough. there's rumors floating around that purah and robbie are involved. and while, sure, they're not (yet), there's a Strange amount of pictures of them being at each other's concerts if there happens to be overlap of which cities they're playing in. PLUS. each band knows robbie's given Purah the nickname Cherry bc the red streak in her hair. (and lbr they flirt like nERDS whenever they have the chance lmao)

one night, late into the tour season, robbie gets word that purah's band is gonna be in town and he's just. TIRED. of dancing around it all, but at the same time not ready to risk it all by just coming forward with how he feels.

on an absolute leap of faith (if it can even be called that), he begs the band's frontman to let him pick the cover for the night. frontman. KNOWS. what's going on, and at first acts like he's not even gonna entertain the idea of letting robbie pick the cover again so soon. but, eventually, he caves, saying, "i swear to any and all gods that if she's not in the crowd tonight, you ain't pickin' the cover the rest of the tour." (which is like...an empty threat they both know this)

and so the cover for that night is Cherry Pie, robbie previously telling whoever's running the venue that "if a ticket under her name shows up, she gets a pit pass no questions"

and surprise, no surprise, she shows up. gets the pit pass. the band razzes the MESS outta robbie before the cover that robbie gets to lead since he picked it and. you just KNOW. he's singing to her. he's not making a secret of it, NOTHING. he's barely giving the rest of the front row a show, he's there for Her. but. after the show. she's nowhere to be found.

only a verbal message to one of their security guys of, "show up if you dare."

and thinking back on it. at first she seemed amused, laughing at the song at first, and singing back in the crowd, but after the song she seemed almost. unreadable.

he absolutely dares to show up at her show next.

nearly exactly the same as his show, she made note to make sure he's somewhere in the front row if he dared to show up.

she picks the cover song for their band that show, and it's Might Not Like Me by Brynn Elliott.

at first, robbie isn't even sure SHE picked the song because it starts as a breakup song. they certainly haven't broken up.

but then, their show's venue has this nice little catwalk out into the crowd, that Purah takes the lead on, ending up walking out into the crowd for the song. it's an absolute hit, people going crazy, the security team making sure people don't get TOO close to her y'know.

and it's a fun song, but robbie still isn't entirely sure it's like. For Him. until she's nearly face to face with him in the crowd, singing,

"Well if you don't like girls that are stronger than you And if you don't like girls that are faster than you And if you don't like girls that are smarter than you Well then you might not like me, you might not like me

...

And if you don't like girls tougher than you And if you don't like girls more daring than you And if you don't like girls braver than you Well then you might not like me, you might not like me

and its only those lines she's singing to him. Cherry Pie might have been ALL to her, but it's those specific lyrics that are TO HIM.

the song ends and the crowd goes wild, but she's just locked eyes with him, winks, then struts back to the stage, hands out to the crowd you know eating it all up and whatnot.

after the show, robbie absolutely works his charm to get past security to go see them. being a "rival" band member and whatnot helps, but also. Purah. absolutely gave permission for him to come backstage after the show if he was brave enough to show up.

purah, teasing him, "oh, geez, SECURITY who let YOU back here?"

he laughs it off. "c'mon, Cherry, you know I've got a certain charm."

one of purah's band members laughs LOUDLY. "Oh, yeah, Cherry Pie and 'wanted me to feed her, she licked the beater' is REALLY charming."

he probably flushes, but plays it cool. "Oh, good! you were at the show? how'd we sound?"

purah, "like a bunch of NERDS. what do you want, robbie?"

"Hopin' to talk to you."

purah's bandmates probably tease the mess out of them as they head for the back alley to talk.

robbie, "Really and truly, I just wanted to tell you it must suck bein' into a man who must be scared of a woman who's stronger, smarter, and...everything else."

she rolls her eyes

still playing it cool/teasing, robbie, "I'm just sayin', Cherry, you need some taste. I happen to be into all of those things. Nothin' I love more than a woman who's better than me."

purah, "oh, are you now?"

"Absolutely. In fact, if you let me take you out sometime, for real, I'd be happy to show you what I mean ;)"

She just gives him this lookover that. Makes him wanna melt. "Is that so?"

"Absolutely. 100%."

more teasing and more goofynonsense of these two being NERDS and they probably end up smooching.

purah, "where you guys heading next?"

robbie, absolutely giddy and on cloud 9, "You mean you don't keep track of our tour schedule?! Breakin' my heart already, Cherry."

She snorts a laugh. "Oh, really? Where's my band heading next?"

"...ANYWAYS ABOUT THAT DATE"

and they've been absolutely unbearably obnoxious to their respective bandmates ever since <3