#in earlier renditions of this it was written/thought from the pov of california

[hibiscuslynx]

thinking about personifications. always. but like, how they view themselves. this is the sky and these are the trees and this is the dirt. you are the dirt, you are the trees, and in some ways you are the sky. blue sky, cloudy sky, rainy sky—there's a type of sky you are associated with, so, in a way, you are the sky, and your jurisdiction does extend into the air between your borders, so yes, you are the sky. you are also a body. living and breathing, with limbs you move on your own, a brain you call your own. a brain that functions on its own, though? not necessarily. no. free will is a myth. you couldn't break free of some of your traits if you tried. no amount of self help, no amount of reflection, no amount of anything at all could free you (the body) from yourself (the people, the ideas, the stereotypes). the question is not, who am i, then, without free will, if i am not in charge of my own brain, but rather: when you stand on a state, your state, you, between your borders, where do you end and where do you begin? you (the body) and you (the land) and you (the people) and you (the government) and you (the ideas) and you (the stereotypes) and you (the brain). parts of a sum. the distinctions are important. you could not function if you saw them as a whole. you are your own person and yet you are not. for example: the people. you shake the hand of a resident and you look in their eyes and you are them, whether you like it or not. they make up you. they are your children and they are your parent and they are the living, breathing, mortal parts of you. if they die do you die? fuck, you can't think about that. but, the fish in the river and the birds in the sky. they are mortal, too. and they are you, too. you, you, you, it's all you, because you are the state. you are the state—everything in it, everything that calls it home, whether its the microorganisms in the dirt or the specks of dust in the wind. the atoms in the sky. the atoms. H20, C02, and the like. atoms. that's all you are. atoms that don't abide by the laws of nature. yes, you get sick, but you don't die. you don't decompose. you don't decay. immortal. you're an immortal being made up of mortal parts that control you. you're not quite a puppet because you have some semblance of free will despite what you just said earlier, but the point still stands. you're nothing more than the sum of parts. but why? why do you exist? looks like you have something in common with the people. you are them, afterall. you look like them and you think like them too. so you (the brain) wonder why you (the body) exists. don't wonder too hard. don't wonder about your existence because you begin wondering about all existence. a negative feedback loop. instead, turn to religion. the religion you have no choice in choosing or leaving. try to find an answer. realize that there is no neat ending to this. no bow to put on the wrapping. this story is ever continuing and you are ever wondering. maybe you should give up trying to find an answer. stop wondering. stop thinking. you exist, whether you like it or not. you are a sum of parts, whether you like it or not.