#but i felt itd work better as like a general thing

[hibiscuslynx]

thinking about personifications. always. but like, how they view themselves. this is the sky and these are the trees and this is the dirt. you are the dirt, you are the trees, and in some ways you are the sky. blue sky, cloudy sky, rainy sky—there's a type of sky you are associated with, so, in a way, you are the sky, and your jurisdiction does extend into the air between your borders, so yes, you are the sky. you are also a body. living and breathing, with limbs you move on your own, a brain you call your own. a brain that functions on its own, though? not necessarily. no. free will is a myth. you couldn't break free of some of your traits if you tried. no amount of self help, no amount of reflection, no amount of anything at all could free you (the body) from yourself (the people, the ideas, the stereotypes). the question is not, who am i, then, without free will, if i am not in charge of my own brain, but rather: when you stand on a state, your state, you, between your borders, where do you end and where do you begin? you (the body) and you (the land) and you (the people) and you (the government) and you (the ideas) and you (the stereotypes) and you (the brain). parts of a sum. the distinctions are important. you could not function if you saw them as a whole. you are your own person and yet you are not. for example: the people. you shake the hand of a resident and you look in their eyes and you are them, whether you like it or not. they make up you. they are your children and they are your parent and they are the living, breathing, mortal parts of you. if they die do you die? fuck, you can't think about that. but, the fish in the river and the birds in the sky. they are mortal, too. and they are you, too. you, you, you, it's all you, because you are the state. you are the state—everything in it, everything that calls it home, whether its the microorganisms in the dirt or the specks of dust in the wind. the atoms in the sky. the atoms. H20, C02, and the like. atoms. that's all you are. atoms that don't abide by the laws of nature. yes, you get sick, but you don't die. you don't decompose. you don't decay. immortal. you're an immortal being made up of mortal parts that control you. you're not quite a puppet because you have some semblance of free will despite what you just said earlier, but the point still stands. you're nothing more than the sum of parts. but why? why do you exist? looks like you have something in common with the people. you are them, afterall. you look like them and you think like them too. so you (the brain) wonder why you (the body) exists. don't wonder too hard. don't wonder about your existence because you begin wondering about all existence. a negative feedback loop. instead, turn to religion. the religion you have no choice in choosing or leaving. try to find an answer. realize that there is no neat ending to this. no bow to put on the wrapping. this story is ever continuing and you are ever wondering. maybe you should give up trying to find an answer. stop wondering. stop thinking. you exist, whether you like it or not. you are a sum of parts, whether you like it or not.

[bendarius]

I was just thinking, Do you think Ben gf is real? I personally believe it's some kinda of catfish...

Well, it's just that seeing him as straight is just UNIMAGINABLE to me. I know people are saying he can be bi/pan but Camp Cretaceous never gave us ANY possible hint of Ben liking girls... Also, I doubt they would officialize Ben as bi or pan someday. So, if he's not coded as bi/pan or officialized as it, we kind of just got queerbaited :( ?

It is not about he ending or not with someone, the thing is that the whole girlfriend reveal felt just like a way of trying to make the viewer stop doubting about Ben's queerness in general. I say that bc is kinda of obvious fans ALWAYS saw a lot of queerness in his character since the beginning of the first show, and is ingenuity to think they arent aware of the viewers' opinions about Ben...

Ps: I love ur blog so much🙌❤️

i think its clear what i think considering i wrote that fic....and no we didnt get queebaited. that would need the crew to promise that there would be more lgbt and we were never told that. its okay to read them as gay. to be fair staight is still the default but he also wasn't shown to like guys either (subtext isnt proof, didnt drop lines like "i mean i think hes cute") meanwhile darius w the beautiful boy line and how desperate he was to keep ben could be read as some kind of proof. i see him as gay no matter what because him liking girls is unfathomable to me....i seriously dont think he has a gf. if anything it wont last bc why are you long distance dating your first gf...scared of sharing irl moments w her?....

i want to work on the benrius subtext analysis. it makes me feel better that people on the crew actually see it too bc i feel less insane. but again crew art isnt official (thank god bc of that kenji darius yaoi satire) or reflective of the shows plot. itd be great if there was some benrius hint but im fine with just reading into their interactions. ben does feel gay to me in many ways with his identity and feeling comfortable in himself but with that theme its very easy to equate it. im just glad theres room for interpretation due to how he presented his gf. in the end its just abt perception, i think theres a reason who we dont rly learn a lot abt his gf. just cause he says he has one is like.....very much room to think otherwise

and thank you so much! i appreciate it, even though im not as active anymore benrius still has a huge place in my heart and i cant wait for their future interactions for real. ill always love them bc of how much chemistry they have. i like ships that have canon chemistry bc its so much easier to imagine a future w them.....hopefully benrius goes down as one of the most coded gay ships trust

[stardustdiiving]

Got tagged by @/kanonavi! 20 fanfic writer questions thing

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

UMMM. I think around 13 probably. I anon or orphan a lot of old stuff

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

32.2k words…probably at least an extra 10k in orphaned stuff though

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Its been solely genshin since 2022. Usually something needs to be a primary tier fandom hyperfixation for me to even think about writing fanfic for it , and then even then I rarely finish more than 1-3 fics for it. Genshin broke this streak bc something shifted in my brain and I’ve finished around a dozen things for it somehow

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) source of inspiration (genshin — makoto, ei, wanderer character study) — 541 kudos

2) better days (genshin — zhongli & xiao erosion fic) — 254 kudos

3) Pattern Recognition (genshin — wanderer & Nahida sickfic) — 254 kudos

4) are you happy? (genshin — postcanon wanderer & nahida) — 142 kudos

5) marvel fic I wrote when I was 15 — 97 kudos

The 1st and 3rd most kudoed fics were actually the first genshin fic I wrote + the first and only bnha fic I wrote when I was 16 but they don’t count because they’re like my disowned children who I should probably orphan but don’t in case I want the option to delete them? I feel they were made before I really processed how to characterize the characters n what sector of fanon I wanted to contribute to, so they’re really like, generic fandom tropey to me and vastly different compared to how I usually write in a way I find kind of unbearable. I am really deliberate in my art n writing in trying to appeal to my own specific n niche fandom tastes so to help me find a similar crowd of people to hang out with and am usually pretty successful in nailing the niche. But for these fics it feels I not only didn’t try to target my own tastes I somehow managed to write something I feel only people who like the fanon I actively don’t vibe with would like ?!? I have no idea how that happened!

it would be if I somehow managed to write a hat radish fic that had “maternal Nahida and her edgy teen son Wanderer” written all over the characterization as if this is not fanon I actively dislike and a lot of how I write hat radish is often motivated by me trying to fulfill my own preferences because I find them in conflict with a lot of fic I read about them? JSDJDNDJ. Itd be like. Where did that come from. How was this written by me. Its one thing to not like my work but how do I have a finished thing I fundamentally disagree with on all grounds that make up my interest in why I may want to write fic about a certain thing in the first place. Disowned child moment

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YEAH always even if I’m slow too. This is an extension of my habit with my art I usually always respond to every comment on my work I get even if it just feels like me repeating thank you over and over bc i like to acknowledge people who r interested in what I’m doing as much as possible to convey I appreciate it. I think it’s always helped in building a sense of community/connection w ppl which is what I’m more interested in as opposed to quantity of interactions

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Idk why this keeps happening but at least half my fics fall under “bittersweet” to “hurt no comfort” territory because I . Hmm. love character study that invokes complicated or ambiguous emotions. I think that’s the trend here

Id probably nominate someone to watch me die?. Its a xiaoven fic that was born out of me being interested portraying a xiaoven dynamic that felt at least somewhat believable characterization wise but pitched studying how venti & xiao’s deep rooted issues could clash with each other in a relationship in a way that’s rlly accidental and tragic when put with their feasible compatibility n care for each other. I have it on anon bc I have weirdly mixed feelings for it bc it feels like a xiaoven fic that probably appeals to any faction of xiao or venti fan who isn’t big on xv far more than a xv shipper

But idk how to advertise it as that bc it’s not like that audience would be in the xv tag?? and it’s specifically romantic xv so it categorically should be there. But it being in the tag feels weirdly hostile to me. I guess I feel it comes off as a fic that exists to be kinda contrarian and hostile to most ppls enjoyment of xiaoven but that wasn’t my intention :( it was made out of my own enjoyment of xiaoven….i just process romance weirdly and I think am more down with ship fic where the ship is kinda depressingly dysfunctional more than other ppl may be. I like the fic quite a bit but I just don’t feel it has a place to Go fandom environment wise

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I HAVE. no idea I feel like no fic I have up leaves off with emotions that are meant to be solely happy. The closest I get is bittersweet . Um. The scripted end of pattern recognition would take this spot but it like. Doesn’t exist yet (but it will…soon…..w)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

HM. I don’t think I ever have. Probably in part I don’t write enough for it

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Look at this shrimp 🦐

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?

I actually love fandom crossovers as indulgent thinking exercises but I usually never get indulgent enough to write fic about it. However I did write a 30k Steven universe gravity falls crossover where the GF characters were SU gems in 2 months when I was 12 and I have no idea how I did that but it was crazy. Thats still the longest thing I’ve written . It was so much

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone translated a fan comic of mine I made when I was 13 a few times but never a fanfic iirc

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Surprisingly no!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I do shipping in such a weird specific way. My go to answer for this is bakudeku bnha but I kind of lose all feeling for a hyperfixation after it ends most of the time so I don’t really…actively like it…sort of….but it’s also a vague ride or die thing to me…it’s complicated… the fandom environment for it is so unrecognizable to me since I was into bnha idk how to talk to people about it anymore particularly the new generation of fans. I don’t really like actively Ship them in a fandom way but fictional romantic relationships that r very influential to me are Pearlrose Steven universe and Anthy/Utena from rgu

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I mainly just want to finish pattern recognition and I think I will. Ummm. Usually if I don’t finish something it’s bc I just lost interest in seeing it finished

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think people usually like my characterization especially in terms of like, exploring or pitching certain aspects/interpretations of a characterization . Like I feel people usually respond specifically with like “wow interesting characterization. Im adding that to my system of beliefs” this applies to both funny headcanons and more serious character portrayals.

I feel I’m also usually decent at atmosphere and invoking more visceral emotions when needed especially when the emotions in question are like. Mental Illness Monologues (tm) or jarring panic/fear/discomfort idk

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I. struggle. SO bad with like. Organizing how to execute all the thoughts I want conveyed in writing, especially the order of hie things should flow. If I want to hit on multiple traits of a characterization I’m doing for ex I have a hard time figuring out how to order it into a cohesive thing. This is kicking my ass with my oc comic story rn

I also have a hard time with subtlety & trusting my writing to speak for itself. I usually have very detailed thoughts on what I want to communicate and have to do a lot of shifting around to find a balance of feeling things are conveyed clearly enough to be caught onto and interpreted but not overexplained. Its not even a matter of feeling I need to dumb stuff down it feels more like me trying to write emotional analysis of writing I find interesting before doing the writing that would be Fun To Analyze. This is kind of the torture labyrinth when usually all I want to write is emotional subtlety and naunce

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Idk my usual rule is I don’t like when it feels forced. I feel I see it used with ship pet names a lot but as someone who doesn’t get the appeal of pet names conceptually it’s often almost a dealbreaker for me in fics if it feels forced in to be cute , and is not something I can realistically imagine character A doing for character B. Like it just wigs me out. I have no idea why I get such a strong reaction out of it

But I’m really on board when it feels like people pulling from their own experiences with being bilingual or sharing a similar background with the character. When it feels intuitive I rock it as fleshing out the character’s background and people really understanding the societal background and environment the characters exist in

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I have no idea actually omg. Especially in terms of what was first published

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Idk I don’t really enjoy my writing? Often when i finish a piece of writing I am usually satisfied I’ve executed an idea or communicated The Things but I’m not actively happy or proud of anything. Its like talking to me. I talk for myself and based off I want to say but overwhelmingly talking is for communicating with Other People so once it leaves my brain my experience with its existence ends and now it’s all about other people’s experience. This somehow does not apply to my visual artwork where part of the motivation to create it involves how my experience with it continues after its completion

Ummm. I guess my intuitive answer to the question is Pattern Recognition in the sense I feels it Conveys The Most I want to convey about a subject. But it’s also like the fic I cant stand to read the most and doing so is usually an ocd trigger too. Its complicated. I very much write for myself and my own interests and i never force myself to do so but having favorites or enjoying my work just feels incompatible with my brain somehow. And somehow this does not discourage me from writing at all

[silent-sanctum]

Hey so uhhh I was wondering if you can make a lil small itty witty fic about jotaro's pov on the reader, like how he sees them how he feels about them and what not, kinda just random thought yk bit i feel like itd be cute🤭🤭 i hope you understand what i mean by this, anywhom I hope you have a wonderful day 🫶🫶

hiya! sorry this took so long to fulfill TT. But eventually I got this out for everyone to see~~ Hope I gave your request some justice and hope everyone enjoys it ^^ also i recommend playing this for some additional feels~

word count: 959

Love.

Such a strange, contradicting feeling that is. It’s subtle yet it’s obvious. It creeps up to you the way a vine does on a decrepit wall, yet it hits you straight out of nowhere like a punch you didn’t expect coming. It’s selfless and selfish at the same time. Bits of every emotion ever felt laced with this one feeling.

Others found it stemmed from a sense of destiny, a fate interwoven in the universe. Others figured it was simply a feature built into human beings due to our species being the social type who craved connections with fellow humans.

For me, I have always been the one to side with reason and logic, often siding with the scientific explanations and dismissing the crap that was merely wishful thinking, but when it comes to this… I’m not sure I completely side with either.

Honestly, I don’t even know if love is something I’m able to express properly the way others express it. And the reason? It’s complicated.

My mother was the hopeless romantic, so full of love and care tending to my wellbeing, compensating for the lack my father couldn’t give me due to his work. Outside of family, I never knew how to show love to others, more so when they treat me and my mom like outsiders.

And so I thought, “Since I’m not sure how this works, why should I love someone else when all it does is make me tired in the long run, exhausted from spreading it to assholes who’d taunt and abuse you in return?”

I was sure of my decision. Just as I always was with anything else.

But then you came.

You were everything new and unfamiliar. Someone who I couldn’t understand at first because you were so different from me- passionate, outspoken, lively, and brimmed with so much love. But, just like love itself, you were a walking contradiction.

You had all these positive traits that blended you neatly with the rest, but you were also sassy, sarcastic, passive-aggressive, and assertive which admittedly caught me off guard. One that wasn’t afraid to bite to protect or wouldn't back down without putting up a fight no matter how friendly you were.

If anything, you made me intrigued. Your foreign charm made me want to know you more the way the other students failed to do.

And so, I did what I wanted to do. I allowed you to venture more into my life- being a part of my break times and hours of dismissal, knowing about my Stand, learning about my family’s generational problem with an old enemy, and joining me in the quest to solve it.

Throughout it all, when all I wanted was to know you better, I grew to learn the one thing I thought I couldn’t do… I grew to love you.

I couldn’t accept it at first because it startled me when all of a sudden, I became aware of how my heart raced and my stomach fluttered every time you cast a beaming smile in my direction or whenever you showed me genuine kindness time and time again. Or even when you sass me whenever I tried to throw you off with my usual rudeness.

Your laughter moved me to smile and do the most stupid shit to make you that happy again. Your tears urged me to help you through your pains, to move past my cold reserved shell and engulf you with warmth.

And your confession encouraged me to reciprocate- to acknowledge and let you know how I truly felt about you.

Suddenly, after the bullshit all of us had to go through, all the times we spent with our friends… you became someone more than just a close friend.

Unexpectedly, you became my lover.

And I didn’t know why. I was everything messed up when you met me the first time and time we saw each other again years after our journey. With the first, I was a rude delinquent unable to fit in with the crowd. The second an insomniac college student who was too much of a coward to fight his own trauma.

Yet despite all my flaws, all my constant attempts to flee from my deeply-seated insecurities and fears, you were so stubborn and undyingly loyal that you never gave up on me. You stood by my side, held me when I was at my weakest, and professed that no matter the situation-

You’d stay with me until the end.

Because you loved me just as much as I have loved you for all these years.

And look where we are right now- happily married for 7 years in a cozy villa by the sea, raising our beautiful daughter unconditionally.

In the end, love is unexpected. It isn’t linear nor is it too chaotic. It’s a pinch of fate and a handful of the need to seek intimacy. It comes in many shapes and forms, including one in the shape of my dear spouse.   

I don’t know how to end this rather long journal entry but I guess I can end it with a note to you, in case you’re reading.

For all the bullshit you had to put up with, the amount of patience you had staying with me, the times when you had to power through all these supernatural obstacles… Thank you.

Thank you for seeing me through thick and thin. Thank you for loving me the way I am. Thank you for helping me throughout our time together.

I wish for nothing more than to continue our life as it is right now.

I love you and always will.

[1800duckhotline]

honestly i would say yeah any fandom art that interprets the characters differently tends do not do as good, unless its like, yassifying them ykwim. otherwise when people dont branch out ime ive noticed it tends to go fandom art > original art > fandom oc art, and ive always wondered if thats bc when it comes to fandom ocs (especially in things with chooseable protagonists) people get territorial about their own/dont want to see the characters shipped with other fandom ocs lol. at least thats what ive observed of a lot of biowareheads

YEAH YEAH... i totally get what yr talking about bc ive seen it too very often! like i wont lie i also get a little bit territorial like that i guess, for lack of better word but i like. generally have a policy of "if i dont seek out what upsets me then i wont be upset" but ALSO to be 100% honest this kind of thing was more prevalent for me when i was a lil younger. now i dont really gaf about it. so in the case of bg3 specifically ive never rly felt that way since the game is literally "insert ur blorbo here and kiss your fave splinko companion". like itd be useless for me to get upset at people for drawing their tav/durges kissing my faves, because its just what the game is like LMAOOO

its really an interesting thing i guess, because since i also work at a snails pace art wise lately (unfortunately my hand aint like it used to be. and also ive just been working a lot) a lot of fandom-related art is stuck in the wip basement until i get the spark again and i think its funny bc im probably giving some kind of whiplash to ppl who follow me for My OCs specifically. even though theyre always the stars <3 if i can insert my stupid counts into a piece of media i like. I will Do It

[gayleviticus]

doctor who - the star beast assorted thoughts

this has to be the first time since at least 2005 that theyve just randomly added genuinely new powers to the sonic screwdriver and i feel like it should have been a cheap asspull but it worked somehow cus its cool i guess.

the handling of gender seemed generally ok, some moments that were cringe in a dad joke who is supportive but doesnt know the terminology way (what was up w that binary/non-binary thing lol). but also i have to admit as a moffat>rtd enjoyer it would have been even more embarrassing/probably outright problematic if moff had been writing this episode

i think it makes a lot of narrative/thematic/emotional sense to make up for journey's end forcibly depriving donna of any agency to save her life, but having her willingly give up her life and reclaim the memories to save the day - it's a cool reversal. i think it ends up being a more minor note in a very actiony episode, which is fair, because hell bent already gave us a 45 min thematic deconstruction of donna's memory wipe and nothing's going to top that. i think that's also more RTD's style - he was never going to do a deep low-action character dive full of insight and cool ideas into the complexities of the mindwipe; he does cool romps that balance drama and comedy and characterisation.

i do think the rose thing could have been foreshadowed better - the 'i feel like im from another planet' line worked, but they could have shown her being a bit more precociously smart i guess? like all the 'evidence' for it they brought up in the episode felt very circumstantial. im not saying it was an asspull, just there was potential to foreshadow it better

i dont think it would be a problem if it was either of these things individually, but i will admit donna and rose just being like 'we got over it, something a male-presenting time lord like you never could' to resolve the metacrisis thing is a bit cheap. like, the combination of cheap resolution of a decade plus tragedy (which tbf had already been mostly solved by the Rose reveal) and a cheap battle of the sexes crack about gender (keeping in mind bro was a woman last episode) pushed it just into the edge of being annoying to me. if it had been one or the other itd be fine

but i think it says something about the genuine good quality of the episode that pretty much everything i have to say here is a nitpick. i also dont have much to say about deep analysis or implications bc i dont feel like it sustains that, but it's a good fun crowd-pleaser and return to form for doctor who

[patchwork-artists]

@beep-beep-beep-beep-beep i actually did send my friends some photos of the process! here you go

i started sketching just the last frame, where i wanted to go. i also did the bg here already.

originally i was gonna animate his third hand but i felt like itd look confusing with his other arm. i was also originally gonna make him heavy breathe, as if he had been underwater running from a monster or something and quickly went back up. i just thought the breathing would be fun to animate, but then when i got to the arms it covered most of his stomach so that didnt work out.

then i did the beggining. he begins submerged but i consider this the actual beggining

i finished animating the basics of his movement- neck, hair, ears, antenna, and then i went to the water waves under him. i saved that layer as water 1 and then i went to water 2

water 2 was mainly focused on the water drops down his body, but still not the splashes

i didnt save a video but i animated first etirely his right arm, and then i animated his left arm. i made the camera movement, messed it up, deleted everything, then redid the camera movement.

then the last thing i did was add the splashes, a few clothing details like the shoulder folds, the third arm, and cleaned up the lines that you can see but shouldnt bc hes supposed to be over them, like the background or the torso that should be covered by his arm. i also decided to make all of the water on a gray line for more readability, which was annoying to do because adobe wasnt reading that i wanted an entire layer to change its color so i had to change them frame by frame each layer (which was like 3 to 5 layers)

on all of that, i kept turning the camera movement on and off, on to see how a specific animation would look on the final version with camera movement, and off to properly animate it and fix it without distraction. the camera movement was just generally decided to make the movement flow better, it just leads your eye and feels much more dynamic :3 im a big fan of studying subtle camera movement in animation for impact of a movement, like when a character screams and the camera shakes

i'm surprised this gained as much attention as it did! thank you all so much! maybe i should do more one day animation exercises

1 day animation exercise!

69 frames, 11 layers, 7 hours

[b0mblover]

It’ll be Okay in the End

By: J

cw; selfharm, generally negative thoughts, blood (etc everything that comes with sh)

lopt essentially has a silent breakdown and mason comforts him or smth idk im not good at summeries,

[Note; this was wrote out of my own desperation for comfort, not romanizing sh, i do not encourage or believe anyone should do this to themselves, seek help.]

i uh, actually had a easier time writing this than most things, probably because ive been essentially replaying this whole scene in my head for literal years! i for once wasnt upset when i wrote this, i was very tired tho! uh i have alot more to say but hawaii part ii lopt is taking over my brain again, so im gonna go do that! have fun with my depressed 100% projected loptson ig!

•

lopt was in ‘his’ so called room, scribbling away at some paper,

mason was rather concerned, hearing frustrated noises constantly, what sounded like pencils breaking,

they had been “partners” officially for 3 months now, mason had always cared about lopt to an extent, partner or not, but this was… odd.

sure lopt had his own life, hobbies, but he didnt care to keep /that/ much from mason, especially whenever he asked,

but, this was different.

lopt had came home from wherever the fuck he was- hell if mason knew details- annoyed, he stormed off to some room, when mason tried to ask what was wrong he only blew him off saying that “its none of your fucking business, you wouldnt get it anyways”

•

lopt was scribbling away in his notepad, despite being a god and literally being immortal, he still couldnt force creativity to come to him,

it was his fifth time trying,

most drawings resulted in poorly scribbled out lines,

he had went out to try and get inspiration for “some project” though he didnt really /have/ anything to work on, starting a new drawing always seemed to be a block for him,

he sat down his broken (6b) pencil, (rather violently but he didnt want to acknowledge that) and got up, he knew somewhere in him, that he needed a break, he walked out of his room to get water, but his mind wouldnt leave him alone,

constant thoughts about how awful his art was spewed around

“youre not “talented”, youre worthless”

“itd be better to quit now”

“just rip up the damn papers, theyre ugly anyways”

“imagine- you could just go and alleviate all this pain, just with that knife-“

he tried to push down his thoughts,

grabbing a cup from the cabinet and filling it with water,

the knives in the butcher block seemed so… tempting,

most of him /knew/ that he shouldnt- that it was wrong, that mason would be disappointed- disgusted, if he found out about his thoughts,

but, he couldnt help it,

all memories of the nights he got up from their bed to take part in something that would disgust his partner made him sick.

questions runned through his head as he sipped on his water, leaning onto the counter

“would he be sad?”

“would he care?”

“would he call me names?”

“tell me how pathetic i am?”

“leave me?”

“would he hate me?”

“tell me how ugly my body is”

“tell me how he hates the scars”

“tell me just how much he despises me”

the voices grew louder wither every question,

saying that he wanted mason to hate him,

that he did hate him,

in the very back of lopts mind, in the tiniest corner, he knew it all wasnt true, that he was being dramatic over nothing,

but even then, the memories of all the times he loved someone- all the times he didnt question if they hated him, what they all said to him,

he felt like doubting himself was the only way to have them not leave,

to not abandon him,

he took a deep breath before sighing, realizing his cup was empty, he decided that he had enough of a “break” and that he needed to start “working” again,

•

mason was sitting on the couch, some random tv show playing for background noise, when lopt wasnt “there” it was almost too quiet, in a way, mason had grown to love how loud and chaotic the house was with lopt- even if thery were the only two people in it.

he seen lopt walk into the kitchen for around 8~ minutes before he trudged his way into his room once more,

he didnt know excatly as to what lopt was doing,

granted whatever it was had to have been important, he didnt usually spend 3+ hours in a room alone silently, it started to make him worry, was lopt sick? just why did he seem so upset when he came home? is he okay? did he hurt himself?

•

lopt sat down at his desk once more, staring at the scribbled page, a sphere, he couldnt figure out how to shade it properly on the background,

he sighed turning his attention to the top left drawer,

he stood up walking over to his dresser, pulling out another drawer, he took out a roll of bandages, and some tissues, 

he knew that he shouldnt, that it was essentially pointless, that hed feel better soon enough,

but that fear crept back up,

“what about last time you didnt? remember? it got only worse because you didnt”

he rubbed the sides of his nose bridge, the voices were annoying, they knew that he was gonna, even without the encouragement.

he sat back down at his desk, sitting the tissues to his right and the badages to his left before pulling out the left hand drawer,

he rummaged through it, various miscellaneous items, before coming across a box,

a red box, seemingly quiet old, with yellow letters reading “do it” on the front,

he took one out, ‘unwrapping’ the razor blade,

straight edge,

he stared at it, contemplating just what hes doing with his life,

“i cant draw, i cant write, i cant make people happy, i cant make music, i can only recite the tales others have told, im worthless, im doless, i will never amount to anything or anyone in my life, god or not, human or not, this is deserved, if i cannot create, then i at lease deserve to bleed”

a mantra he told himself, attempting to poorly justify his actions,

•

mason listened at the door, hearing nothing, no pencil, no walking, almost no breathing, he didnt know everything about lopt, sure, but he knew that he didnt look well off, and what boyfriend would he be to his partner if he wasnt concerned?

they had an unspoken rule to always at least knock before walking into the others space, granted they had seen every part of each other, it was just a courtesy they had, 

though, something felt off,

mason felt as if he shouldnt knock, that lopt was hiding something,

all those sleepless nights where lopt comforted him abundantly, he had felt him get up, a few times he had caught lopt in the basement, he didnt know just what he was doing, he always hid something,

he didnt want to break any boundaries sure, thatd be rude and disrespectful, but, he had a weird feeling in his gut that it was for lopts own saftey,

“please forgive me for this” he muttered to himself,

sharply inhaling before opening the door,

simply greeted by lopts back.

•

lopt heard the door open, he had three lines going diagonally down his right arm, bleeding, he fumbled the razor, dropping it onto the floor, it had gotten rather dark by now, so it probably wouldnt be seen, he attempted to get the tissues, he had always been a great liar,

“ill just say i accidentally cut myself, if he asks what i was doing with a weapon, ill deflect and say i was being stupid”

it seems like he fumbled the tissues for a bit too long.

“hey”

mason said over his shoulder,

he moved his left hand to cover the cuts,

“o-oh, hey, whats wrong?”

“hm, well, i mean nothing? i guess, what are you doing?”

“i- you guess? is something the matter?”

mason had noticed he was oddly covering his forearm,

“you ignored my question.”

“huh?”

“i asked what youre doing.”

masons tone sounded alot more pissed off, granted he wasnt, just concered more than anything,

“o-oh i um, ok dont laugh but uh- i was trying to draw”

“and why are you covering your arm? are you hurt?”

“i- huh? wh- no, no! i uh, may have also been playing with a blade and accidentally scraped myself, nothing much”

“let me see”

“what?”

“let me see your injury”

lopt was taken aback, all of his previous partners never asked to see his wounds, scars sure but never his wounds, even if they werent self inflicted, he was shocked, he hadnt planned for this.

“i- i assure you dear, it isnt anything to worry about-“

“let me see it. are you hiding something?”

in that moment lopt felt small, like a child almost, weak, helpless, he didnt know how he could get out of this without mason either finding out or being suspicious of him.

“i- here”

lopt moved his left arm to mason, there were a few small cuts on it, though rather old looking,

lopt moved his right arm off the table, into the shadows to not call attention to it.

“uh huh, now the other?”

lopt seen his eternal life flash before his very eyes.

his mind went on autopilot and raised his right arm, he usually would fight but, he knew itd be pointless, mason would just worry more, thus making him keep a closer eye on lopt, he didnt want to feel selfish, not like that,

“oh my, i- oh my god,”

mason was shocked, he had suspected that lopt had hurt himself in the past, granted the scars,

but, he didnt think he still did it, sure the weird behavior, but it never really dawned on him until that moment.

.

mason had brought (more like dragged) lopt to the bathroom, running the slits under cool water, putting pressure to hopefully get the bleeding under control, he opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out another roll of bandages,

he stood behind lopt washing the blood off, still slightly in shock,

“why?”

“huh?”

“why do you do this?”

masom questioned, fully aware of the long list lopt was about to give out,

“i- well, i dunno..”

lopts voice trailed off before starting again,

“i mean, i dont even know why i do this, it just feels good? like i can do something right? it makes me feel like im not worthless”

mason hummed for a second before choosing his words

“do you feel normally that youre worthless?”

“i guess so, i dont know why, i have the best boyfriend, my life is great, i just dont know..”

“mmhm, what were you trying to draw?”

“i dont know. does it matter?”

lopt shot back

“well, you seemed frustrated at it, so im sure it’s important to you yeah? so then it’s important to me”

mason brought his hands around lopts wrist, rubbing it slightly attempting to calm him down

“i- i dont know, i just, i feel frustrated, so i tried to draw, but drawing makes me feel more frustrated, so i did this- an- and n-now-“

lopt began to stutter, tears swelling up in his eyes, mason had only seen him cry on a few occasions,

“shh- shh its okay, i know what youre saying, breath, okay?”

lopt inhaled deeply, feeling masons left hand move to wipe the tears away,

he didnt even know why he was crying,

mason bandaged lopts arm slightly tight, 

“shh, now, you wanna talk about this? or wait a little bit longer to calm down?”

“c-calm down”

“alright alright, shh youre okay, see?”

mason lead lopt into his bedroom, taking lopts hand under the covers as he had done for him every sleepless night,

lopt could feel his eyelids starting to droop, the warmth of his boyfriend comforting him, the love of his boyfriend comforting him,

he shoved his head into masons chest, finding it to be the most comfortable spot out of the entire bed,

mason ruffled his hair, slowly stroking his hand on his neck,

“y’know, you may be a god,

and you may be immortal, but,

ill be with you for as long as you need, in this life and after”

lopt didnt respond, just slightly nodded his head before burrying it deeper into masons chest, 

maybe tonight wasnt so bad after all,

spending time with mason- no, his boyfriend, was never bad.

lopt faded in and out of sleep, trying to fight the melatonin being produced, just to feel the sweet touch of his boyfriends skin, before he completely felt himself drift away, he heard him speak,

“I love you, i love you so much, never forget that, in this life and the next, ill always love you, lopt.”

[readymades2002]

maybe i should talk this through a bit idk there's a lot on my mind right now. maybe it would help. mostly i am stressing about work. i'm also stressing for That Boy, he very bravely and coolly stood up for himself today and asked to step down as department head despite being more nervous about it than i've ever seen him, and it worked out well and it's gonna be alright but MAN he has been so miserable in this position for so long <///3 happy for him and mad it came to this in the first place, you know. god i love him. have i said that before. i fucking adore this guy

im also stressed for my+my department's sake, we've got a MASSIVE fucking exclusive sale coming up next week and the way corporate's talking about it is so so so scary. this job is already so grueling and our store is super high volume and this sale is a biiiiiig event theyre pushing. ive been doing this job for over a year now and i feel like a frog that doesn't know it's being boiled. this department is growing super fast and being pushed very hard and still is not treated like a valuable department in its own right and its very frustrating. i adore my three coworkers though. love them to BITS i have no idea what i'd do without them. i want to arrange a movie night or something to hang out sometime but i have no idea how that would work with us literally being scheduled to work alternately all the time. like a department. whatever...OH i have another coworker i want to take to lunch sometime too. god reaching out to people is so hard im trying to get better at it but its so scary and i cant imagine doing it EEP ! anyway

my financial straits are dire. need i say more...theyre not AS bad as they could be but i've been putting money aside to save for some things and then dealing with what i have left and god it is not a lot especially if you are also helping other people with their financial circumstances. phwew ! i love the economy

ummmmmm i want to ask Boy if he wants to go to a concert with me soon. we are going to a different concert in august but he hasn't been to one in ages and he is a Music Enjoyer (try not to swoon all at once) and he's been working too hard to do it recently and he Needs It. but: i am shy. and also we are both broke. stay tuned. no harm in bringing it up </3 i have to keep reminding myself we do enjoy each others company mutually and i need to stop waiting for him to make the first move all the time to Prove that im not weird for wanting to hang out lol

my birthday is. oh fuck my birthday is in almost one week now. ive been trying not to think about it but its also hard not to. a quarter of a century...the cybersale starts on the same day so at least that takes the pressure off celebrating a bit but i honestly don't know if i want to do anything for it. bad last few birthdays+unceasing guilt over being alive is a bad combo for celebrating birthday. but also last year i didnt do either of the things i wanted because i wanted to put others' schedules and wants and desires ahead of mine and that felt awful and so maybe even if its not something big ill treat myself to something. not sure what yet. maybe multiple things if i can swing it financially. im thinking like...some kind of piercing+stuff for getting into rollerskating? itd be nice to have a hobby since im so burnt out on art. i love being outside and i could get places so much easier...its hard not to go "what if im bad and get embarrassed or hurt and lose interest" but ive wanted to skate for so long and it would be so nice...

oh i still want a spine tattoo so bad. my body hurts so much and i know thats the most painful a tattoo gets but id be so hot

ummm idk i think thats where im at right now generally. not very interesting but much to ponder. there's a lot happening in my brain.......very distracting. anyhoo thanks for your time

hrmmmmm feeling restless </3

[batz]

thinking abt that bald bich from fallout 4 again.....

[poryphoria]

made a project nexus au where they're all dragons for NO discernable reason, but im having SO MUCH FUN WITH IT

it's gonna have its own lore & plot n shit and maybe ill make a sideblog for it if im feeling spicy??? or just a madcom sideblog in general LOL

BENEATH THE CUT IS ALL THE DESIGNS SO FAR + SOME INFO ABOUT THEIR ROLE IN THE STORY & PARTICULAR SPECIES OF DRAGON!! i added a cut bc there's a lot n i felt itd make the post obnoxiously long otherwise JFHFKRBRJR

phobos' species [nicknamed scorpions] are a sort of parasitoid dragon who's venom is able to rewire and reprogram the minds of others to provide for them- often they're more of a nuisance than anything and are consumed by their thralls once they inevitably break free of the envenomating. but phobos is different, somehow... he's larger, tougher, and carrying things out on a much greater scale than any of his kind have ever managed. Nexus City is a veritable termite mound of kidnapped dragons who would've otherwise lived solitary lives- divided into three sectors governed by his closest aides, every dragon in that mound is working towards... something for him, though what that is remains to be seen. whatever it is can't possibly be good...

dr. hoffnar's species [nicknamed bats] originate from caves deep underground, covered in sensory tendrils that work in place of their now vestigial eyes. they use their tail tips to lure in prey, posing them as a tasty spider and dancing them along the rocks, while the rest of them lurks just out of sight, waiting for their meal to get close enough.... Dr. H doesn't seem to remember where he came from, but he knows at least it was never so bright. his eyes are hopeless as far as vision goes- the tinted glasses he wears are merely to save him the headache from so much light input at a time!

dr. crackpot originates from a volcanic island species [nicknamed vultures]- predominantly scavengers with a nasty toxic bite and long, lanky limbs for scurrying and climbing! the ruff on their chests is made to be plucked from so they have something soft to line their nests with :] the man himself holds the prestigious award for Phobos Suckup Of The Year & couldn't care less where he came from- all he knows is that he gets to do new and exciting work in his district, including a fascinating new project that could potentially make a dragon immortal! how fascinating!!! i'm sure this could have no grave repercussions in the future!!! mind the rumors about his species being cannibalistic and his cap being made of dragonleather- nothing but silly rumors!!!!!

dr. christoff came from a dying species [nicknamed tundras] who grow more and more elusive as the years wear on. they're too heavy to fly- their wings have been repurposed for combat, outfitted with deadly claws at the tips for slashing and swatting! christoff is endlessly puzzled with his origins- why there are gaps in his memories, why no one in the City looks like him, and why no one's able to tell him any of these things- especially the Director!!! he tries his best to concern himself with leading his district, but he can't help but question Phobos' integrity... he's always promising Nexus City works towards the betterment of all dragons, but in what manner? perhaps it's better not to pry- curiosity did kill the cat, after all!

2B, otherwise referred to as doc hails from a grazer species endemic to savannahs and grasslands [nicknamed rhinos]. their thick hides make for excellent protection from the sharpest of fangs, and their sturdy builds ensure they're always the last dragon standing- however, their limbs are far more limited in their range of motion than a typical dragon, so their wings often substitute as hands. 2B leads a ragtag organization of dragons dedicated to putting a stop to Phobos and his antics before he does irreversible damage to their world- as someone who was once under his influence and lived to tell the tale of his escape, he has a rather personal vendetta against the guy.

sanford's species [nicknamed beetles] sport thick, chitinous armor and a deadly chemical weapon in their throats- not quite fire, but a highly volatile chemical irritant that burns just as bad! their elytron protect their wings, which are thin and prone to tearing, and they're some of the more social species! sanford's a fairly easygoing dragon- quick with a joke or a few words of reassurance, for someone who's expertise lay with hand making and rigging explosives, he's got quite a knack for diffusing tension- especially comes in handy working with people like doc and hank!

deimos's species [nicknamed basilisks] hail from tropical rainforests and come in a dazzling array of colors, with prehensile tails and a deadly venom that can be spat or injected. they're not true fliers- they evolved from wyverns like hoffnar and hank(citation needed). their wings became a frontal set of legs to capitalize on clinging and climbing, and the leftover membrane is used for gliding between treetops! deimos is enthusiastic to a fault at times- he'd probably leap directly into an active volcano if sanford weren't around to scruff him back. he's crafty and resourceful, good with locks and pickpocketing, and especially skilled in getting away with it.

and last but not least, Hank. what's a story without a protagonist? Hank is... unlike any documented dragon species, living or extinct. he appears to be adapted for cave dwelling- covered head to toe in fine sensory hairs and heat pits, very few things can stay hidden from him, living or otherwise. 2B found him deep underground, jawless, yet feverishly scraping the meat off the bones of a desiccated dragon carcass with the remaining teeth in his head. he's a force to be reckoned with, and acts entirely of his own agency- though he gets bored easily, and finds taking orders from doc just interesting enough to stick around- mostly because all of his orders involve killin' in some capacity, which he's quite talented in doing. half of why doc keeps him employed is for fear of what might happen were he left entirely to his own devices- a weapon of mass destruction is better off in your hands than anyone else's, no?

thaaaat's a wrap! cogration if you made it this far!!!! hopefully i get to do more things with this au in the future :] maybe even make a fangame for it??? idk dawg!!!!

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

wait ur rantaro theories are delicious if u wanna talk more abt them im all ears...... :0

THANK YOU! :D I have two main endgame theories relating to his talent, the first I don't really like and the other I like better, here it goes.

This post got long so I'm putting the no spoiler banner here:

THEORY 1: ITS ALL FAKE

okay hear me out, I can't stop thinking about the opening of drv3. Its like dr2's opening in that it hasn't really been brought up since and it has really alarming implications. This is all based off only what I remember from playing the opening in November, so I might be missing some things

Kaede didn't consider herself particularly talented before her memory was reset by the monokubs

Kaede didn't know what an ultimate was before the reset

Kaede knew who the monokubs were and was surprised to see them?

They were all in standard school uniforms before they all had their respective magical girl transformations

All this points to me that not only is whatever going on fake, including all the major plot stuff like the Ultimate Hunt, The terrible world event going on outside that I forget the name of, and Project Gopher. All made up for.. some. reason. It would also explain some of the more confusing flashback lights (like the one where they saw? their own funeral??) in that it isn't real.

This is further supported by the fact that Shuichi is supposedly the Ultimate Detective, the same talent is Kyoko. Are repeat talents really possible?

So in this case, Rantaro would not have an ultimate talent because NONE of them would actually have ultimate talents, and something really weird would be happening instead. I know in every danganronpa game the killing games are broadcast somewhere via the cameras, maybe its all a show? but why?

I'm not really a big fan of this theory. I really want them all to be ultimates because its honestly just more fun that way. If it was all fake, itd make character deaths like Kirumi and Gonta meaningless. and it'd also be a LOT of interesting plot points just thrown out as red herrings.

One thing that brings me hope that this isn't the case is the flashback where Shuichi was in some kind of big tank and had the thought "I want to die in here with everyone else" What would make him think that if its all fake? I'm not really sure. Unless thats fake too. You see the problem with this theory? LMAO

THEORY 2: THE ULTIMATE HUNT

This is the theory I'm more confident in and like way better than the other one. It goes like this:

All 15 students (Not including Rantaro) in the ultimate academy for gifted juveniles ARE actually ultimates. When the tragedy or whatever this world ending event is called started happening, they all got together to try and stop the apocalypse and save the world. Led by Kaito (as we found the plans in his research lab), they started the Gopher Project.

The Gopher Project unfortunately failed, and the apocalypse began. The general public blamed these 15 ultimates for the end of the world and wanted revenge. Cue the Ultimate Hunt. Here's where Rantaro comes in

I genuinely think Rantaro is the Ultimate Hunter. As in, both has the ultimate talent of hunting, AND is hunting down and killing ultimates. (He'd more accurately be called the Ultimate Bounty Hunter, but I really like the clearer double meaning of Ultimate Hunter.) It would explain why the design of his ultimate research lab looked like a warzone, and had a similar colour scheme to Shuichi's ultimate hunt flashback.

He was hired by some of the general public to help hunt down the 15 ultimates who failed to stop the end of the world. Maybe there was even originally a 16th ultimate working on project gopher that got taken out by Rantaro and the rest of the Ultimate Hunt?

All 15 (remaining?) ultimates felt not only the intense fear and paranoia from the ultimate hunt, but also deep guilt at failing to stop the apocalypse. So in the end they surrendered to the ultimate hunt and.. let themselves be put into the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles killing game. Rantaro also let himself be put to moderate? maybe? Maybe he was lying that he couldn't remember his talent at the beginning?

I guess in this case, Rantaro really was "the mastermind" although he wasn't controlling Monokuma. I don't really have any ideas accounting for how monokuma and the monokubs fit in here. Or what Gonta could've seen in the flashback light at the end of ch4. But this is my current Rantaro theory!!

[ferg0s]

so when are we gonna admit tokyo revengers was kinda ass? (disclaimer: not a manga reader, i just watched the anime ik a lot of my question would be answered if i read the manga but i physically cant cuz trying to read mangas give me headaches, like picture books in general.)

the only thing i liked about it was how realistic the time traveling was and how high stakes everything was, like mans had one chance to do everything. and the fight scenes, they were intense and entertaining.

i just didnt like anything else, like:

- takamitchy. nice that an shonen mc isnt like OP, but they literally reduced him to be a ragdoll that carried the viewer from plot point to plot point. the human verison of 'then i passed out and woke up in (the place the plost wanted me to be)'.

-why were they all middle schoolers? maybe its a big thing back then for japanese middle schoolers to form gang that run entire cities, but wtf. i was thristing over draken and then i foudn out mans was like 14!!! damn near shat myself

-why were they so op???? (maybe its explainined in the manga, idk) would have liked to see a training montage, itd be cute too.

-the Kazutora plot was meh, and honestly could've been done better. cool that he killed his brother, nice touch, but it was done in the worst possible way. the bike thing wad mid and honestly felt like it was a bike just so it would make sense why Kazutora killed mikeys brother.

-i wanted more dept in draken and emmas relationship. how did growing up in a brothol affect his view on sex? women? relationships? is that why hes so cold towards emma? more draken backstory !!!!

-they could've explored the dynamic of a 20 something takabitchys mind in his middle schooler body with middle school hina, like how awkward it was since he was mentally an adult. ur lying if you say he would forget hes in his middle schooler body and find it weird when hina would come onto him, or better, the dynamic of hina trying to console him with her middle schooler understanding of the world while takamitchys adult mind knows that not how the world works.

-also him being so oblivious to everything made me wanna vomit. like wtf. it just got annoying, ik hes like a dumb greasy virgin, but give him common sense for the love of god.

-also baji dying. he was my favourite character so im salty.

and ik im not the target demographic for this show, but idc, and again ik a lot of my question would be answered if i read the manga but i physically cant cuz trying to read mangas give me headaches, like picture books in general, but anyways.

[jaekaicx]

so ive had this idea for an amphibia fangame for a lil while now-

(LONG post)

its based around the idea that sometime after anne got sent back to earth, she decides to sneak out one night to visit sasha and marcys bedrooms and poke through their stuff. this causes a bunch of memories to come back to anne through flashbacks while she tries to process everything thats happened and her feelings abt their friendship.

i was thinking itd be mostly a visual novel type thing. maybe with a few small choices, but the story would be mostly linear. thered be around 3 main story beats: a prologue bit w/ anne sneaking out of her house, marcys bedroom, and sashas bedroom. also one of the main mechanics would be looking at one of their bedrooms and clicking on random objects of importance and triggering a flashback sequence.

it came from the idea that anne will probably try to just shove all her emotions down and try to ignore her feelings abt true colors and everything that went down then. especially with what we saw in the sneak peek, anne will probably try to hide her emotions and bottle them up, which is obviously not healthy. so eventually shes gonna have to work through her emptional baggage and try to process everything.

i havent thought through EVERYTHING just yet, just some more major plot points and maybe one or two ideas for flashbacks. nothing too solid yet. but heres a bit more detailed runthrough of the plot

summary - prologue

so it would start off with anne at home. she and her mom are talking outside annes room. her moms concerned abt how annes been handling everything that happened in amphibia but anne keeps brushing everything off. her mom tries to get her to open up, but she keeps dismissing her and eventually shuts herself in her room. after taking a bit to cool off and think anne decides that shes gonna take the night to just ride off her emotions and stop repressing them for once. she also makes an impulsive decision to sneak out and check out marcy and sashas rooms.

anne goes to gather her stuff in her room, and just as shes about to climb out the window, sprig walks in to check on her. hes still rly concerned abt his big sis but he knows he cant stop her. he tries to go with anne, but she tells him she needs to do this on her own. so, sprig lets her go and tries to cover for her while shes gone.

so at this point i’ll probably give the player the choice of whose house to visit first. it doesnt rly impact the story or whatever, but i guess it might have a small emotional impact depending on whose house u choose to go to first??

(quick note: after this bit, there arent too many specific details for the plot and stuff like that. its largely just an overall idea of how the plot is gonna go. and even then, there isnt much to it. i didnt think that far ahead yet, which is why there isnt as much refinement yet. so far i just have general ideas for how annes gonna get to the bedrooms, with a couple of vague flashback ideas. just keep that in mind; this whole thing is still being thought over and planned as im typing this out)

summary - sasha

with sasha, annes still rly conflicted abt how she feels abt her. of course shes still rly hurt by being backstabbed by her twice and swordfighting her as many times. but as much as she hates sasha she cant bring herself to fully give up on sash. she hates her guts but deep down shes still willing to give sash another chance.

there may or may not be a small sequence where anne has to sneak into sashas house, but eventually she works her way into sashas room. im not entirely sure abt the details of sashas house n her family yet. im probably gonna wait for info from s3 until i solidify anything, but for now i do know that sashas family has a big house n theyre probably rich.

so anne goes into sashas room and its been left pretty much untouched ever since annes birthday, save for the few times someone came in to dust things off. again, dont rly have all the details for sashas room, but it kind of has a vibe of controlled chaos, with organized clutter and a bit of a touch of a rebellious teen girl. one detail i do want to have is a calendar opened up to the month the trio disappeared, with annes birthday circled and highlighted so much that its impossible to miss.

the calendar itself might include a flashback. im thinking of also having a varsity jacket and some old stuffed animal be different “artifacts” that trigger their own memories. there’ll be a bunch more, but those are the only ideas i have so far fjsbndnd

summary - marcy

ok so i want to be rly mean about marcys segment: this is going off the theory that marcys parents moved away while the trio was in amphibia.

anne doesnt know this yet tho, so shes in for quite a surprise when she turns onto marcys street to find a realtor sign on the front lawn. the clues are all there: an empty driveway, sign on the lawn, an overall empty vibe coming from the house. but it doesnt completely register at first. its not til anne actually comes up close does she notice the sign.

anne tries to deny it, and decides to prove to herself that “no marcys parents wouldnt do this. theyre not that cruel. im just gonna check marcys room myself.” the front doors locked, so she just goes over to marcys window and climbs in.

but its completely empty.

ok not totally empty, but a lot of marcys furniture and stuff is gone, except for a few stray toys and other “junk.” the home guys (idk what theyre called????) are still kind of in the process of cleaning everything out, so theres still some stuff left here and there around the house. but its still way too empty. and its yet another gut punch for anne.

anne searches the rest of the house a bit more, hoping that shes just hallucinating. but no, marcys parents are really gone. she tried to deny it before, but now she has more of an idea of how shitty the wu parents are. so anne decides to just mope around in marcys old room, checking out the stuff their parents left behind.

maybe she finds an old blanket marcy liked when he was rly young. or an old rubiks cube from marcys vast collection. a cnc figurine, some cards, a pride flag, and old diary? a couple of other old toys, an old report card or two, or maybe even some stray clothes. whatever anne finds, its all thats left of marcy, at least in LA.

it really doesnt leave anne in that much of a better emotional position. she already felt conflicted enough about what happened in true colors and what she found out abt marcy. but seeing even a small glimpse of what marcy was dealing with, it just makes her more confused. marcy was such a sweet kid! theres no way they couldve done anything wrong. yet here anne was, betrayed by both of her childhood friends.

only now is anne really taking the time to process the fact that marcy essentially kidnapped her and sasha with the calamity box. he didnt mean to do it, and theres no way they couldve known the box would actually work, but it doesnt completely excuse marcy. his actions still hurt anne and sash, and while they meant the best of intentions, it didnt rly come through that way.

and now marcy was dead. stabbed in the back by the newt king.

and now annes curled up in an empty bedroom, wrapped up in one of marcys old blankets, trying to wrap her head around her feelings about marcy while reminiscing in the past.

summary - extras/epilogue??

i kind of like the idea that anne ends up drifting off in which ever bedroom ended up being the second one she visited. she slowly comes back to consciousness, with her surroundings feeling somewhat familiar, only to wake up in horror bc “OH SHIT I FORGOT TO GO BACK HOME” im not completely sold on the idea tho bc it feels a bit abrupt and like too much of a tone shift?? idk it doesnt feel exactly right

but anyways, im also playing around with the idea of a small epilogue scene with the calamity trio hanging out in annes room, a good amount of time after amphibia ended. dont know what theyre doing in there, but theyre just chilling and feeling a bit nostalgic i guess.

but uh yeah thats pretty much what ive got for the overall idea. it doesnt feel too out of reach, but somethjng like this would definitely be ambitious. i could mayyyybe handle writing out the vn and drawing the character sprites, but i have no idea how to code a vn or draw detailed backgrounds, both of which would be pretty important to this fangame fjsndj. so i might consider having help with this.

THIS ISNT ANY SORT OF PROMISE OR WHATEVER. id rly love to follow through and make this fangame a thing, but im not making any guarantees. i have no idea if i’ll actually follow through, but i would definitely love to.

who knows. maybe in like a couple years this might actually become a thing. but for now i have no idea

[prettyallfriends]

this has kinda turned into a bit of an aikatsu retrospective lmao. sorry idk how to do readmores 😩😩

honestly idk like ive kind of gotten to a point where im glad to see my favourite series/franchises end. its better to end on a high note than to weekend-at-bernies the rotting corpse of a now-soulless series, which can happen soooo easily with series that get rebooted and spun off etc. its always better to just gracefully accept that your franchise has said its piece, its affected people, so now its time to leave it be instead of trying to throw gimmicks at it to keep it fresh.

basically um. idk if therell be a new aikatsu generation. all the 10th aniversary stuff almost feels like a wake in a weird way?? and like... idk. it really felt like they tried to shake things up with planet, but planet just doesnt feel like aikatsu at all. honestly i wouldve been more inclined to give planet a chance if it was a whole new franchise, its a cool concept its just... not aikatsu. like pretty series can do anything bc they never really leaned too heavily on series staples. sure they had prism stones, but they werent integral to the series identity so nobody minded when they switched to pritickets. but like... cards are the lifeblood of an entertainer. aikatsu cards are integral to aikatsu, there are loads of episodes that are literally just about getting aikatsu cards, we see how theyre created....... like its not aikatsu without aikatsu cards. i could honestly see an aikatsu series that isnt set in an idol school, hell i could see a live action series too. but the whole vtuber aspect of planet just doesnt feel like aikatsu, the whole point of aikatsu was ordinary girls working hard to become idols.

but yeah i think id be more than happy for aikatsu to end permanently. itd be nice for on parade to come back (maybe even add planet content, or retool planet into an on parade 2.0 with a button display on the screen or something idk) but all in all i think aikatsus affected all of us whove been fans throughout the past decade. now i think its run its course, we'll always have our memories of it i guess?? (though god i would love a console port of on parade. pleaseeee dont keep all that content locked away forever)

[juiceboxman]

Just Watched season 2 of Witcher

It was great, had a lot of fun with it.

As always, Henry Cavill and Joey Baety carry the show. However I thought other parts of the show were great as well, but there were some let downs.

I really liked what they did with Nivellen, I also liked how they gave the Bruxa some character as well. The original short story the episode is based on was limited in those respects. Some of the best episodes in the Witcher are those monster of the week episodes.

Pacing however in some episodes was a bit off, sometimes too quick, sometimes not quick enough. But thats kind of stuff like budget and production aspects you have to take into consideration. Also they filmed this despite covid and Henry Cavill’s leg injury, so by looks of things it actually looks pretty good. You may have to explain to a friend in a few years time why certain scenes look like the actors were just CGI’d in.

Speaking of actors, the cast varies from really exceptional to kind of leaving more to be wanted. Chris Fulton as Rience was phenomenal, hands down the best villain the show has had as of yet. When I watch Chris I think to myself “this is the dude they should have cast as Vicious in Cowboy Bebop”. I thought other standouts include Anna Shaffer as Triss, really love her version of Triss- she’s so lovely. Also love how Myana Taylor got to flex her range, Tissia gets a lot more to do this season which was great to say. 

Also Mahesh Jadu as Vilgefortz? Brilliant. Eamon Farren is perfect casting as Cahir, the only problem I had was the writing he was given was a bit wonky and inconsistent at times. Anya Chalotra was great as well, really good Yennefer and the writing for Yennefer this season? Great, loved her arc.

However I will say that Graham McTavish as Dijkstra was a bit disappointing. There’s obvious skill and talent in the performance, but I felt the direction they went with him was off. He seemed a bit to manic for the role at times, and those that have played the games know what Dijkstra is supposed to sound and look like. If you were hoping for Vincent D'Onofrio level stuff, you’ll be disappointed.  

The writing this season varied from good to mediocre. I liked the dynamic between Yennefer and Cahir, felt that was interesting. Whole elf storyline I personally didn’t care for. I really liked Geralt and Istredd teaming up, they only ever interacted once in a short story (great short story btw, super sombre and heartbreaking) and it was an interesting dynamic. Also Royce Pierceson as Istredd? Great performances, I really got excited whenever I saw him on screen.

Kinda sad how they did Eskel that way. The Witchers were a bit too chummy for my liking, given their backsory I always kind of pictured them being glad of eachothers company- due to shared trauma- but all of them being so emotionally repressed they can’t really express their feelings. Similar to Gamora and Nebula. Kim Bodnia I thought made a pretty solid Vesemir too.

Really loved Rience as a villain, I liked the dynamic he had with Vanielle. Kind if wish they got together, thought they’d make a cute little murder couple. Then again I’m a bit of a softie. Itd never work, hes a pyromaniac, she’s a mad scientist- I’d give it a month.

Stuff they did with Volith Meir? Fantastic. Great villain. Other stuff I liked includes Jaskier’s reintroduction, Burn Butcher Burn is a banger- great break up song as well. The fights aren’t too spectacular, there’s nothing like the Blavakin massacre. CGI could be a bit distracting at times. I thought they could explain stuff like magic a bit better at times as well for general audiences. 

Outside of that, season 2 I felt is on par with season 1. Really glad they’re going more linear story. I think the plot in certain episodes could be trimmed down. Its ok if we don’t see Tissia in every episode or Nilfgaard. 

I’m excited for season 3, we’re a bit away from the stories in Baptism of Fire- my favourite Witcher book. I’d also love to see some stuf, if possible, implemented from the game. Would love a Heart of Stone episode- maybe even Blood and Wine as well with Touissant.

Good show, very fun if not flawed. But there’s passion there and when its good its good