#in case u missed it. i used to shop. like. way too much. it was like. my main coping mechanism from ages 10 to 17. i treated clothing and

[zhuhongs]

epic win for anti consumerism, i have gone 2 months without buying clothes. I just bought a swimsuit and a windbreaker for a trip I'm going on but that's it. and nothing else. Love that character development for me

[toxic3mmy]

I’m having a bad case of baby fever since I’m ovulating hard and I need fic of quackity with gf who’s ovulating like crazy and who’s begging for a baby

ooo baby fever!!! the only person in the world that i would ever want a baby w is alex😞���� but yes, i got u my lovely <33 thx for the request

[also it cane out a bit diff than what u asked for im sorryyyy!! dont hate me bbg💔💔]

prompt: alex dealing with a baby fever filled gf

no smut but mentions of it ofc!!

everywhere you look, there’s babies. on tv commercials, at your job, even at the grocery store there’s always a baby who won’t stop smiling and cooing your way.

and who would make a cute baby? alex, your boyfriend, that’s who!

he has sparkling honey brown eyes with dark lashes framing them perfectly. his fair skin that has freckles and beautiful face moles. and his hair! he has a full head of hair that would look absolutely perfect on a sweet little baby.

lately, on your free time, you were indulging in this want and need and desire for a baby of your own. you were sneakily watching mommy and baby vlogs. you loved seeing their belly grow and their journey through their pregnancy. you even subscribed yourself to a baby magazine and it was what you looked forward to every time you checked your mail.

but you hid all of this from alex. you knew he probably wouldn’t understand. just how most men don’t understand why women obsessed over weddings and wedding planning. it also didn’t help that you were definitely ovulating.

and right now, you were sat listening to your boyfriend going on about his day. well, not really listening. more like admiring him and imagining him as a father and wow did that turn you on.

“what about you? how was your day?” alex asked suddenly

“oh, you know, i mostly just did my online coursework and cleaned the house a bit. i’ve been bored since you went out..�� you said, trying to be inconspicuous

“trust me, i missed you too. now let’s eat. the food you made smells amazing” alex said, getting up to serve himself a plate

he served two plates of food, one for you and one for him. the two of you ate in mostly silence, with casual conversation here and there. once you finished eating, alex offered to wash the dishes since you did the cooking.

you sneakily pulled out your phone and scrolled through your pinterest. of course, you had baby related posts all over your feed and you loved it.

“babe.. this sponge sucks. where are the new ones we got the other day?” your boyfriend asked

“should be in the drawer next to the stove” you absentmindedly responded, eyes glued to your phone

alex opened the drawer and found your stash of baby magazines. he wasn’t blind, he knew what you had been obsessing over lately. this was the perfect time to bring it up. so he grabbed a sponge and washed the dishes. after drying his hands, he turned to face you.

“so… you’ve only been studying all day huh?” alex smirked, holding up one of your prized magazines

your eyes widened. you were at a loss for words.

“i-i uh… my sister is pregnant and um she sent me those to help her pick stuff out and—”

“hmm, addressed to our home to ms. y/n” alex interrupted

“do you think i don’t know by now? i see the way you’ve been looking at anything baby related online. i know you always volunteer to do the grocery shopping just for the chance of running into some mother with a baby… my question here is, why hide it?”

“i didn’t think you’d understand… i know how guys get when their girlfriends start talking about babies and i don’t know. i didn’t want to upset you. i didn’t want to make things weird between us..” you explained softly, expecting alex to get upset

he walked closer to where you were sitting and tucked your hair behind your ear gently.

“i could never be upset with you princesa. you don’t have to hide things like this from me. you know i love kids just as much as you do” he reassured you

you nodded sadly, still feeling a sense of guilt.

“why don’t we start trying?”

your eyes lit up and a huge grin was etched onto your face.

“you really mean it?” you asked and alex nodded with a smile on his face

“i would just adore having a little munchkin running around here. i think you’d be a spectacular mother y/n. i can just imagine them having your big ‘ol eyes and your pretty lips” he caressed your face sweetly

“and your gorgeous freckles… oh my god alex! we would have the most adorable baby in the whole wide world! do you actually want to start trying?”

“yes i do, princesa. we’re in a good place financially and also in a healthy place in our relationship. i wouldn’t want to have a baby with anyone else but you” he smiled

“you’re going to be such an amazing dad. you don’t know how much i’ve daydreamed about you holding our baby in your strong sexy arms. the way you would be super protective over them. i just know you’d have our baby on your chest at all times. you’re so innocent and precious and so so good with kids alex. you are definitely daddy material” you stood from your seat and reached out to hold his hand

“also.. i may or may not pay attention to your ovulation period…” he said seductively

“what?! why? you’re a weirdo!” you teased him

“no! i mean i pay attention to when you write those notes on our calendar! you freak” alex was red in the face and you couldn’t help but laugh at his flustered expression

while you were too busy laughing, he suddenly stood up and pushed you against the wall nearby, trapping you there.

“you’re probably really sensitive right now, aren’t you?” his voice came out in a darker tone

“m-maybe…”

“let me make love to you, princesa. quiero impregnarte ahora mismo. quiero que me sientes y que sientes que te hago la mama de mis hijos chula…” he said, making sure to kiss your neck while he spoke

all you could do was nod. his words alone made you so wet and needy for him already.

“i’ll make sure that after tonight, you’ll definitely become a mother” he smirked, dragging you to your shared bedroom

[adriixboo]

hello everyone. MAMA'S BACK WITH ANOTHER UNDERTALE VISION 😈😈😈😈😈😈 my mind 🤯 exploded.

haha

for context, do you guys know those compilations on instagram (reels) or whatever media, and it's those ones where people are doing the outrageous shit?

like of people doing dumb stuff yet it's absolutely hilarious, the ones that (usually) are a little bit reckless?

---

say y/n befriended the majority, if not all, of the underground. the way that the monsters know of y/n is usually laidback, respectful. so they're cool, calm, and collected, if you will. the calm before the storm, even. hasn't caused any trouble, is a delight to be around.

also say that they have their own undernet account, courtesy of the royal scientist, alphys. on their account, they friended their other friends; alphys, sans, papyrus, undyne, napstablook, mettaton, even muffet and grillby, as well as the majority of snowdin and such. maybe here, y/n convinced alphys, after a bit of explanations, some negotiations here and there, to update the undernet to include stories (yk like insta stories, assuming they did not have that feature), or not, doesn't really matter, normal posts and stories would give the same result possibly

in this case, i like to think of y/n growing a little antsy of the lack of action and bafoonery that they could do.

so, they begin soft-launching their usual antics, stuff that they did before falling to the underground. not saying that they MISS the surface, other than the night sky, sunrises and sunsets. y/n is quite fond of the small life they had made for themselves in the underground, and wouldn't really trade it for the world. but anyway,

they begin posting on their undernet account. some would describe them as... odd maybe, due to the nature of the photos posted. they start off small, photos of them in shopping carts in the middle of a random parking lot. a picture of a traffic cone with a... firework next to it? that raised a little bit of eyebrows, but it is still rather tame. you guys know those abandoned tunnels that have graffiti and were used for raves nd such? yeah there's a photo of y/n in one of them. maybe with some stupid ass captions like "alright who let grandma out the nursing home" or like something idiotically cryptic like "the truth comes out soon." now THAT has heads turning. replies start spilling in like

"grandma????????" "what truth???" "what are u planning??????" these poor citizens don't know what they're getting into

who knows, maybe y/n got a little ahead of themselves because of impatience. so then they just drop the videos of them doing dumb stuff, because "life's just too short. let's play spin the bottle but whoever the bottle sets on, gets to set off a firework and throw it at their friends who are running away from the one who got picked."

yes, that's the video i saw that generated this idea.

so y/n is basically lore dropping on their unsuspecting monster friends, who are either laughing it up, or very concerned for their good friend's wellbeing (mental and physical) the videos range from that firework fiasco, to other shit like running into a stop sign with their face, racing in shopping carts, just overall some good ol' tomfoolery with their friends above ground. yeah y/n misses their friends dearly, but there wasn't much they could do. they caption the posts with "i would like for everyone to witness the person that i was before i fell down here lol. im aching for shenanigans."

queue the replies of the jokingly "?????????? r u stupid"

the y/n the monsters are now viewing in the posts, are practically a complete 180 from the y/n they encounter on a day-to-day basis. unfathomable, but the proof is in the pudding once they witness whatever y/n has in store. the next post is actually a rather cool photo. a 0.5 pic, flash on, at night, y/n sitting in a shopping cart, left leg over the side, head leaning a little to the right, shades on, blunt in hand, joint between their lips😈

@y/n "excited to make some awesome memories with my new friends❤️ can't wait to infect snowdin with my stupidity and awesomeness"

here come the comments (using names bc im lazy and not that creative)

@CoolSkeleton95: "HUMAN Y/N PLEASE DO BE CAREFUL!!!!"

@StrongFish91: "IM OMW."

some are, admittedly more concerned than others, even grillby, the stoic fireman himself expresses his concern for the near future.

@grillbz: "????? Are you okay??"

and y/n being y/n, only responds with

@y/n replying to @grillbz: "hey hotstuff"

who doesn't love flirtin with the flame man😍 anyway

here comes sans asking questions. c'mon dude, y/n's been living with you for so long, you should've expected SOMETHING to happen one of these days.

@sans: "dude?????"

again, cue y/n shamelessly flirting

@y/n replying to @sans: "hey sexy let's kiss"

now, due to the nature of the videos, they posted more examples, y/n is not an idiot. so what if they fucked up a bit of the surface, it's the surface. what they are NOT going to do, is mess up the underground. y/n is still that respectful human the monsters know and care for. y/n is would not wreak havoc on the unsuspecting citizens of the underground in their own home. no, that's reserved for when they do emerge to the surface. when that happens, BACK TO THE PARKING LOT🗣️

but for now, it's time for y/n to scope out for clear land for their idiotic, yet entertaining ideas.

you know who would be SO on board with y/n's ideas? undyne. miss strongfish91 here would do pop in. without a doubt for sure. it only makes sense. her miss alphys is concerned on the side, head in her hands, hoping that their heads don't go flying off

you know who WOULDN'T?? and is instead rather concerned yet can't really do anything about it so they have to hope and pray? sans. sans may be lazy and carefree for the most part, but that doesn't mean he can't be concerned. he cares too much for y/n, he won't admit it outright, it doesn't seem like he needs to because basically more than half the underground can tell because he's just sweating buckets whenever something even remotely mild happens when involving y/n. sans doing damage control, making sure they don't get horribly injured or dies, he still has that promise to keep.

cmon man, live a little for ur best friend's crush's sake

i feel like papyrus would also join in on the fun, occasionally. he would also be worried for the human's health. like he's mildly concerned about it, but would go with it. he's like that middleman almost. he kind of strikes me as that guy who would first try to sway around, a little hesitant, but will absolutely go all in with just a simple "PLEEEASEEEE???" yeah he's not missing out on the fun at all, papyrus 2024💯💯💯

grillby on the side in his pub, sighing. he's concerned, a bit worried about the results, but would give a chuckle here and there. i love grillby ohmygoodness

more shenanigans ensue. y/n is about to spice things up around here, give them something new.

----

apologies if this is on the illegible side, it's roughly 2:30am and i spent almost an hour on this bc i was focusing on not freezing my ass off 😔 im warm now but at what cost

i think i'll edit this later or add more soon 😫 i have a headache

it would be hilariously awesome to see this as a one-shot. just pure crack and fluff

💋 kisses grillby 💋 kisses sans 💋

OK GOODNIGHT😫 love yall

[athenaswrath]

Hello, I hope you are well ✨

I was wondering if you could write something with Sebastian Aho please, whatever you want.

thank u 🤍

@yangofyang I'm sorry it took a while to post I hope you like it🫶🏻

Fishy being engaged is so heartwarming, so here's a little something about that (kinda) and also Jarvy being his clueless self

Word count: 1,355

You knew before you started working in a coffee shop near the PNC arena that it was going to be packed at times. What you didn't know, was that the hockey team was going to be there daily, too. You never considered yourself a hockey fan, but you knew about them—city legends, after all. Even if you hadn't known them, they were hard to miss, most of them passing 6'0.

The first time I saw them, there were only three of them: Brady, Bunting and Sebastian, are the names they gave you for their orders. "You're new here, never seen you before" said Bunting while the other two turned to look at me. It was a very calm day so they were the only ones in the coffee shop. "Yeah, I'm new pretty much everywhere around here actually, I just moved in" I said softly. It was hard not to get intimidated by them. I wasn't exactly short, but they could make you feel like you were 3'5

"So you don't know who we are?" said Bunting faking a hurt tone "I mean, it would be hard not to know when your faces are all over the city." - "It's a pretty face though, isn't it?" he said in a flirty way. "You're so full of yourself, I swear" Brady told him while giving him a playful shove before adding "I hope you're liking it here so far, we're gonna be around here a lot so anything you need, let us know, right Fishy?" he smirked and gave Sebastian a side hug, Bunting laughed, Sebastian's face heated, and I felt like I missed something.

What started off as a simple thing became a daily occurrence, Sebastian now would go for a morning walk and stop by the coffee shop before making his way to the arena. He enjoyed his new routine, getting a coffee, talking to y/n, and having a smile plastered on his face as he walks back to his morning training session.

After a couple of weeks, Sebastian finally asked you out. He could tell there was a bit of hesitation on your part but after watching those cute eyes of his, you couldn't really say no to him.

"So who's got you smiling like that all the time now, Fishy?" Necas asked him one day when they were changing into their gear “Don’t start" is the only thing he said, “Oh c’mon, there has to be someone. Serious, sometimes grumpy Fishy, grinning like a fool every day?”

“There is no one” Sebastian said, but he could feel his face heating up, remembering last night's event with you, “Are you going to watch the game tomorrow?” he asked “wouldn't miss it” - “well, in that case, I'll need my good luck kiss, can't risk making a fool of myself” he teased. Closing the distance, you placed your lips over his, and when you went to pull away, his arm snaked around your waist, his hand finding its way into your hair.

Jarvy snapped him out of his thoughts when he said "You think Mr. Aho has time for someone? He's probably been coming up with new ideas on how to be the best in the team". Necas just raised his hands in defeat, but he was not the least bit convinced, at the back of the room Brady and Bunting looked at each other while trying to hold back their smirks.

You two have been dating for 3 months now. Sebastian was away for the last week, so the day he arrived, he asked to see you, to which you immediately agreed. What you weren't expecting was for him to formally ask you to be his girlfriend. He was the sweetest guy you've ever met, so your response was an immediate yes

Sebastian was sure you'd met everyone by now, and even when they didn't know you were officially together, they could see how much you meant for each other, especially because of the special treatment you receive from him. They knew Sebastian was a kind man, but he didn’t treat anyone else like this. So they would abstain from teasing him because you were just so good for Fishy, and they wanted him to be happy.

To say you were nervous the first time you went out with the team and their girls was an understatement, you weren't sure you were going to fit with them. The first to notice you was Jarvy, whom you could tell had already had a couple of drinks. "Oh, hey y/n, I'm glad they all invited you over." Slavin who was nearby, shook his head but immediately introduced you to his wife. After a couple of minutes of being introduced to everyone, you felt yourself starting to relax. All the girls were just as nice as the guys.

A couple of weeks later, you attended your first game with the wags, and everyone was delighted just by watching Sebastian being that happy. Some of the girls were there already, so he knew what you were going to be wearing, but the minute you entered the room with his number on your jacket, he felt himself fighting for air. He could see the blush on your face, along with that cute smile of yours, and he promised himself that he would do anything in his power to keep it there for the rest of his life.

Jarvy, entered the room at that moment and stopped for one second after he noticed you, "huh, I thought only their girls got to wear that, but you look great" he gave you a thumbs up and left the room with a bunch of snacks in his hand.

After what probably was their best game of the season, you rushed to meet Sebastian after he was ready to go home. "Hei rakkaani (hello my love), let's go home, yeah?" Sebastian said, giving a peck to your lips. You were almost outside the room when you heard a confused Jarvy say, "Wait, are they dating?"

...

5 years have passed since you started dating Sebastian, and you remember every single minute you've spent together, from the moment you saw him for the first time; when he asked you out, and you hesitated, worried that he wouldn't take you seriously or that you wouldn't be enough for him, even though he's spent this entire time showing you how much you really mean to him.

There were rough periods where those thoughts came back, like a couple of days ago you two were laying in bed, and he could feel the tension pouring down your every pore, so he said, "I don't get how you are the only person who does not see how amazing, how kind, smart and beautiful you are. I see it, the team sees it, everyone who's been lucky to meet you sees it, and still I find you doubting yourself over and over again."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to come out as ungrateful..."

"No, rakkaani. I didn't say it to make you feel bad; I'm saying it because you are my world. But I promise I'm always going to be here to reassure you, and to give you all the love you deserve"

You couldn't stop the tears running down your cheeks, or the smile breaking through your face. You swore this man couldn't make you any happier, but then he looked at you in the eye and said "Marry me, please"

...

When everyone on the team saw your ring, they couldn't help but be the happiest for you. They knew the moment they met you, that you and Fishy were perfect for each other; they've never seen him as happy as he was when you were close to him.

"What are we celebrating?" asked Jarvy. When you showed him your ring, he took your hand and said, "Oh, it is a nice ring indeed; I didn't know y'all guys were into jewelry", the group broke into a fit of laughter, and you just hoped Jarvy realized what was really going on before he got the wedding invitation

[lapdogchase]

how to install dashboard unfucker (for desktop)

hi i use desktop and i use the dashboard unfucker extension by dragongirlsnout and you should too because it's awesome. i don't know much about computers so it was intimidating to set up but ended up being really easy.

but first:

what is dashboard unfucker?

dashboard unfucker is an extention that makes being on tumblr bearable again.

(ID: 2 screenshots of tumblr with urls/posts etc censored. the first is with the new layout, with labels on the left, the ad-free button, "check out these blogs," "explore all of tumblr," the radar, and no easy way to access your own blog. the second is with the extension enabled, the left hand side of the screen is empty, posts are wider, navigation icons are back at the top right, and the only thing on the right-hand side of the dash is the dashbaord unfucker and limit checker and tag replacer from xkit. end ID)

i got it for layout changes like these- the first is cramped and ugly and i feel like i'm on twitter. the second is warm and comfy and i can make my posts wider (i dont like all the empty space). (limit checker, tag replacer, and post color were done on xkit and palettes respectively, not unfucker, btw)

with the dashboard unfucker you can:

hide the following/blog subs/for you etc tabs

get rid of the changes/staff picks/etc carousel

hide recommended blogs and tags

add profile pics back to posts

hide the radar

hide the explore page

hide tumblr shop

hide user badges

highlight bots in ur activity feed

show who follows u in the activity feed

make posts wider/slimmer and move the dash posts position to the left/right

revert messages design (and make the messages box bigger)

revert activity feed to the old design

display vote counts on polls

show poll results without clicking (no more skewing polls or "see results"!!)

disable tumblr domains

add polls to reblogs

disable "post without tags?"

show ns.fw posts

and other things that i probably missed copying this from the settings!!

so how do you do it? it seems scary but it's easy actually. take my hand

(note: i did this on firefox and tested it on chrome, i'm not familiar with other browsers, also use firefox if at all possible fuck chrome)

how to install dashboard unfucker

step 1: install either tampermonkey, tampermonkey beta, greasemonkey, or violentmonkey (if you don't already have it)

note: im using tampermonkey as an example because it's what i use

step 2a: go to firefox extensions/chrome web store/your browser's equivalent

step 2b: look up "tampermonkey" and click "add to firefox/chrome/whatever" and confirm

step 2c: you're done! yayyy

step 2: click this link. look under "installation" where it says "Click on unfucker.user.js to install or update". and click that

(ID: a screenshot of the tampermonkey install page, showing dashboard unfucker v5.7.8 installation information, the source code, and the install/cancel button. end ID)

(it should open in a new tab and look like this)

step 3: click install! (when i did this it didn't look like much happened and i got scared. dont get scared take my hand)

step 4: go to www.tumblr.com and to the right of the dash it'll have the dashboard unfucker label to the right!

(ID: the default dash again, but with the dashboard unfucker title at the top right of the right-hand side of the dash. end ID)

step 5: click the little gear icon and all the options will pop up! u can fuck around with em to ur heart's content. i recommend exporting after ur done and saving it somewhere in case u have to uninstall/reinstall to troubleshoot or smth

you're done! now u can see the results of polls without clicking them and other such things

(ID: a poll i have not voted on. it has 17 votes and 23h 56m remaining. the title is "poll :)" and the answers are "answer 1" "answer 2" and "see results". there are no percentage labels, but the amount each answer has is indicated by light blue bars in each result, as they would be if i had voted. end ID) note: i'm not sure how/if this aspect of the extension is indicated for screenreaders

THIS POST IS TRANSGENDER BTW!

[baqisnotdead]

have u ever seen the music video for "Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard?

^one of the most useless questions on tumblr dot com

ok anyway i was compelled tonight to rewatch this song's music video not only cuz it slaps, but i remember watching it with my sister some years ago and us being baffled about what this music video means

source:

re-familiarize yourself with this barely-sensical emo pop rock cinematic classic and you'll understand my confusion. so...it's a time loop concept. big deal. maybe it doesn't have to make sense and it's just interesting enough on its own to provide a lossely-cohesive storyline carried along by concept rather than by narrative?

and yes that could very much be it, but i was struck with some revelatory thoughts upon my own viewing of it tonight. i won't clog your dash but if you wanna dive in with me, i too have nothing better to do this tuesday night <3

so we all know the art of The Music Video is a pendulum that swings wildly in dozens of directions across several decades -- a music vid making little to no sense isn't the end of the world. sometimes the lyrics don't match what's on the screen at all and life goes on. however, i think i was wrong to assume that of this song and its video. now i don't mean i expected the song's lyrics to be literal; about "green cars" and "women running me over" and "goddamn sidewalk nuns again" but i think that all has a purpose for being in the video, regardless

just as lyrics can contain abstract meaning, music videos can help convey that visually as well. i think this time loop "gag" and the accompanying microgags within them in perpetuity is plenty entertaining, and that's clearly one angle in all of this, and that's great! the worst thing a music video can do is bore you. but i think the implied goofiness or high-concept-ness of it all can lead a viewer to not look as closely into the implied themes of it all. yes, it's great to follow in the storyline-not-storyline kinda way, but drawing critical thematic statements from a man parkouring over a shopping kart full of garbage? that's too fuckin far

except it's not! because like i said: it's all in there for a purpose. just breaking down what we see sequentially, all of it feels disjointed until the time loop clicks after the first chorus. only then, over a third of the way into the song, are we able to start piecing things together. with this, the theme of "cycles/something cyclical" is established. what's this cycle of? what's the intended outcome and how do we get there?

once a loop is established in any story, what's most interesting about it is what changes, and not what actually "loops." upon first run, barreling through Sidewalk Nunz, ragdolling over a shopping kart of trash, we see him pitifully miss the goal: a green muscle car of mysterious rock n roll origin. we loop and we're back on our feet. this time: side spin around the nuns, PARKOUR over the homeless -- that'll show them!! -- and we're a bit ahead of the curve as our hero is mowed down in his emo prime (electric violin continues)

but then it's bridge time! and that means: story development! inside what looks to be the nicest apartment in Newark NJ, a brief case and glasses fit for an eye surgery patient are seen. an attractively lesbionage agent takes them both and attempts to leave. the chase ensues once more, and the nuns are skillfully woven through, the vagabond is High Fived TM respectfully, and the hero successfully intercepts and boards the green muscle car, end of song

so...what's it all mean? well here's my take: it's all about the cyclical nature of self-improvement within the context of partnership. first off, this is supported at least somewhat by the lyrics. everything is very hypothetical and expressing desire for things like nostalgia, a better future, etc. "If I could find you now, things would get better" it's a bittersweet theme that desires for the past and the future, but not the present. typically, times of change or adjustment are what these desires and emotions manifest from. an unsteady or unpleasant "now" could be/would be/should be made better by remembering a better past, or wanting a better future. sadly, one of those things we can never get back, and the other only comes when work is done and change is made.

that's when i was reminded of what changes, literally, within the music video! as we know, time loops exist to be solved and escaped -- see "Groundhogs Day" or "Palm Springs" -- which is the thematic metaphor for what feels like an endless cycle of uncertainty during significant life changes and relationships. within a romantic/relationship context, i view our hero's cyclical journey as a test, some trials he has to figure out the best way to navigate to get to his intended goal. what ways work, which ways don’t? i think this says a lot about the deeper themes being discussed

in a basic sense, the street nuns and the shopping kart are problems or obstacles the hero is facing. since they're metaphorical and intended to have meaning to many viewers, what they are literally is up to you! one obstacle could be handling commitment, it could be with addiction (which can be cyclical as well), the list goes on. but what matters is not what the problems "are," but how the hero gets through them. we know the first attempt was messy and with complete disregard. trying to mosh pit through the nuns only slowed him down, and body slamming the kart looked ineffective at best. clearly, we are being told "You cannot strong arm your way through your problems."

Take 2: my guy jukes out the nuns and gets major air over the kart. while we're meant to think it's effective, clearly all was for nought. the lesson here: "You cannot simply avoid or completely skip over the problems like they don't need to be dealt with." the result of this path being the hero getting what he thought he wanted, only to be hoisted by his own green muscle car about to run him over.

as the final attempt begins, we're given important context that is the driving motivation for our hero. while the woman and the briefcase could be ambiguous in literal meaning as well, they represent loss/the threat of losing something or someone important if our hero can't break the cycle. this happens all too often to real people caught in cycles or constantly-shifting times in life, so the hero's desperation makes sense. but then, after artfully weaving peacefully through the nuns and scoring some Good Person Clout, the hero achieves his goal

the final lesson clearly being: work through the hard stuff. don't brute force it, don't dodge it. make mistakes and learn. learn that it's ok to have hope and want better things for yourself in the future. you might be afraid of losing something important to you along the way, but you can still get better and get things right as long as you keep moving through them.

and i dunno...i think that was a really cool and uplifting message to this song and this music video that i have no idea is there or not intentionally on the part of Yellowcard, but we all know that's not the point of art and music lmao. i found this cool meaning in this cool song/video and i hope you did too! k that's all go to bed

[blazehedgehog]

Physical or digital media?

I would be a 100% physical media person if I could help it.

There are too many stories of games getting delisted for licensing or whatever. A developer pays for a celebrity likeness or a top 40 song or a specific model of car and five years later, whoops! The rights expired! The game goes poof. It's like it never existed. Doesn't matter how good or bad the game was.

And keep in mind, even a bad game is going to be somebody's favorite, and they deserve a way to still experience it.

If you have a disc, that disc is forever (within reason). If it's a digital game, it gets deleted from that reality. Literally deleted. I bought Forza Horizon 3 on PC a few years ago because Microsoft had the foresight to warn people when it was getting delisted. And thankfully, the servers are still up, and Microsoft says they are, at least for now, committed to letting you redownload delisted games that you paid for.

But that won't always be the case, and it's already happening that some games can permanently disappear. The Wii Shop Channel is gone now. All those Virtual Console games, all those WiiWare titles, if you missed your shot to download it from Nintendo, it's gone now. Doesn't matter how much you paid. If you connect that console to the internet all you'll have is an error message. The clock is also ticking on the 3DS and Wii U eShops, which are slated to close at the end of this month.

Stadia, in its entirety, is gone. Most (not all) of those games are available on other platforms... but if you bought it on Stadia, you will have to buy it again somewhere else, and hope that one day, that too does not also go down.

There are always gestures of preservation efforts made by the community. And I'm thankful for those. The Wii Shop Channel is gone, but all of those games have been backed up by pirates years ago. Believe me, I'm no stranger to the methods used to play games like Castlevania ReBirth or Fast Racing League, which died on the Wii Shop and have never been ported anywhere else to this day.

But there are a lot of assumptions made in things like that which may not have practical solutions. Like, how many of you reading this blog have ever tried to emulate an original Xbox game on the PC? Microsoft only lets you access a small percentage of the Xbox library through their official backwards compatibility, but what if you want to venture outside of that?

It's not an easy process. Compatibility is a mess, system requirements are all over the place, and you have to get very specific dumps to even get the games to boot at all, assuming they can actually run. Yes, the data has been preserved, but it's not worth much when you can't do anything with it or need to spend $1500 on a PC good enough to run the emulation software.

It will always be easier to own the disc and throw it in the original hardware. A lot of Sega Saturn emulation still isn't an especially easy thing to run smoothly unless you have an above average gaming PC. I'd have to spend at least $300-$400 just to upgrade my system's CPU, but a couple years ago I spent $110 on a RetroTink2x Pro and I can hook my real hardware up to that just fine.

But even that's becoming it's own problem, because all of the greasy collectors have been moving in for years now and driving prices up on even the cheapest, most recent trash. The aftermarket is all but disappearing -- up through the launch of the PS4, it used to be you could find PS2 games for pennies. Now used prices seem to stay pretty much lock step with retailer MSRP (that's the price you pay for brand new shrinkwrapped games, kids). You might be lucky to find newer games on Ebay for a couple bucks off, but it's not like it used to be.

There are more and more and more stories about grifters like WATA coming in and "officially grading" retro games to be fake collector's items, leading to awful headlines like a copy of Super Mario 64, one of the most ubiquitous and common N64 games ever made, selling for a million dollars. That's like selling a bucket of tap water for a million dollars.

Buying physical is becoming a landmine because it's feeling like if you wait too long then you're at the mercy of scalpers and grifters and "collectors" who think they can throw a loose cart of Super Mario 64 up on Ebay and get $50-$70 for it.

A part of me wants to slap on a tinfoil hat and say that this was a plan. Ten years ago, the used games market was the enemy for a corporation like Microsoft, because it was a method to get dirt cheap games without any of that money going to them.

And though they backed off from that after it publicly damaged the Xbox brand, they are still pushing very, very, very hard to move everything to digital where the used games market does not exist. The next generation of Xbox after the one we're on right now probably won't come with a disc drive at all for how much they push the all-digital Series S in the marketing.

How do you hurry that along? Turn the used games market in to "the collector's market" where those old games like Halo 2 are much more expensive and much less convenient than just buying a digital copy of The Master Chief Collection for $20 on the Xbox Store.

And make no mistake, it is more convenient. Speaking as someone who has moved into smaller and smaller spaces over the last seven years, there comes a very real moment where you have to get rid of pieces of your life. Being able to plug a single box in and have my 18 year old Steam account with 1500+ games certainly seems a lot more comforting on the surface than having to lug five tubs of plastic cartridges and game discs around everywhere I go.

But what if the unthinkable happens, and Steam shuts down some day? I cannot reliably back up 1500 PC games. What if it gets stolen tomorrow and I can't get access back? Is convenient always better? Like, yeah, somebody could break in and steal my retro games, too, but that's a lot harder to do than breaking into my Steam account.

And this isn't even touching on the complications of ownership rights, and how certain businesses are trying to redefine what it means to be a "service" because that allows them to bypass the ownership laws meant to protect people like you and me.

The reality is, because of space, price, and availability concerns, I only really buy physical games if they're meaningfully important to me. And if they're important to me to own on a disc, I usually end up buying them digitally too, just for the convenience of digital. The Xbox 4 might not have a disc drive but I'll still be able to play the digital copy of Sonic Unleashed on it some day, while also being able to pop that same disc in my old 360, assuming it still works.

There are forces at work here and as always their goals are to take more and more and more of our money away from us. They have discovered a lot of great ways to do that. Buying physical is getting to be almost a matter of protest at this point.

[my-best-friends]

Dear blog,

After the 10+ years I've known my bff (my crush and absolute love of my life) I've become fluent in their language. No, I don't mean English or Spanish or Korean...... I mean that I understand what their words mean.

I know that when they speak with their dry wit or borderline rude comments they're not supposed to be taken at face value. Because everytime I tell them an idea I have, they say, "That's stupid." But I can hear it in their tone, the way they pronounce the syllables and even the look in their eyes. They say, "That's stupid.", but the translation is, "Please, don't do that. You might get hurt."

And everytime I disguise when I say, "I love you", as a joke; they mumble that gruff, "Cállate, idiota." And I can tell by the way they refuse to look at me and the way the tips of their ears flush that they really mean, "I love you too." They don't know that their ears always give away the truth because I haven't told them. It's a treat for me to enjoy and knowing them, they would just cover their ears with their hair to hide their ridiculously fortified heart...... the heart I've been striving to hold and protect for years.

I remember there was one time I disappeared from our friend group when we were at the mall. I stepped away for a moment to browse a shop while the others chose where to eat and I saw that my bff followed me. They didn't say anything, they just trailed behind me with their hands shoved into their pockets looking around like they were expecting someone or maybe just avoiding eye contact with everyone (they're pretty shy around people). I asked them why they followed me and they just shrugged and said, "Can't let you out of my sight. You might do something stupid unsupervised. You're clumsy as hell....." and it took me a minite to understand what they meant. I replied with a quiet, "Jerk.", but couldn't help but blush. I knew what they meant. My bff's words meant, "I need to protect you in case something happens. You might get hurt."

Throughout the years I've realized how super lucky I am. I'm the exception. I'm special because eventually when my bff finally got used to me clinging to them like a koala, they spoke so sweetly to me. Hushed whispers in my ear, only meant for me to hear. I remember I would take naps during lunch curled up on their lap and they would hold me close and whisper quietly into my hair. I found this out one day when I was being lazy. My eyes were closed as I leaned into their chest as I guess they thought I was asleep because I felt the gentlest touch ever. They were softly running their fingers through my hair and humming a song. For context, my bff doesn't sing, hum, make voices, nothing. They barely talk, they're really quiet. So when I heard them hum gently into my hair I fell way harder for them. They sounded shy but so comforting. So from that point I started faking napping on them and it was the best decision I ever made. They would hum and quietly sing to me songs I've never heard that I fell in love with (if only I knew spanish 😭).........

So after the years I've spent slowly breaking down their walls, they're still snarky and mean 🤭 but they're actually really sweet with me! When we talk it's always, "Hey, dork." or "what up, homie?" (We haven't seen each other in person in a really super long time) And now when they message me they say "missed you, cariño.", or "Message me when you can, querida." Ajahshhwjzijwjdklfjfne 😳😳😳😳

OK so I told them I don't speak Spanish a long time ago and I guess they just assume I don't bother looking up the meaning of those words but I did and HOLLLYLYYYYYY SHSHHITIITITTTT!!!!!!! I'm in love, I've been in love, I will die loving them. Call me delulu but i am their's and they are mine. Fight. Me.

UPDATE: I've been seeing so much spiderverse stuff all over socials and I've come to terms with the fact that I am in love with irl Miguel O'Hara. Thank u for coming to my Ted talk.

Until next swoon,

Yama ❤

[rulletywriting1412]

story 1

The mysterious detective

??? Pov

Didn't you hear ?

Hear what ?

The detective cracked the case again !!

Woah for real ?? How do they know.. isn't that person who ever it is Anonymous ? We don't even know if their human !

But that's if you believe in mystical creatures of course !

Ye I guess so

Hey don't we have class right now ?

Ye oh god let's run for it

As I heard those two girls talk I chuckled and walked away looking at my watch

Huh ? Oh well it's Time to go home

I thought walking back home

Time skip

Home sweet home

I thought as I put the food in the kitchen

I then went to the living room and opened the tv

It seems that our mysterious detective solved the case again ! Just who could it be

The news reporter said shocked

Oh come on I couldn't help but solve it

I thought smirking as I closed the tv and started reading the news

Case solved

A other day shopping in the tiny neighborhood

As I walked around I saw someone unconscious from far a way

The closer I got the more blood

That’s when I saw a dead lady , with blood pouring out of her stomach

What's happing

I heard someone run towards me it sounded like an old lady but not too old maybe she's in her 50-60 most likely

Hello , there I was just walking by and happened to see her do you know her by any chance ?

I asked unfazed

U-h oh yes I do but let’s call an ambulance

She replied looking at me in an unsure way

Yes if you want I can check on her I know a bit about medicine and the human body

Ah yes

I then went to feel her body

still it's a new kill ? But who knows what are the chances for her to survive

A gun ? If it was some kind of knife it would have been hidden here somewhere or taken by the killer but this is also hard if she fell from a window hence a Suicide one of these windows should be open I thought as I looked around as I felt her pulse

Miss could you call the ambulance there might be a chance so I wouldn't bet on it in the mean time I'll check the building there the windows you see

I said pointing my finger

Once the woman left to call the ambulance I quickly went to the building it seemed old and abandoned

I then went towards the first window closed it was even dusty which proved how long it's been sense people came here

I then checked the other windows till the last one none of them were open they were all locked and dusty

Time skip

Once the Emergency came taking the woman away the lady had to go with them I decided to get that lady's number using a random phone and number I had and I added her

*₊˚✺ home ✺*₊˚

I decided to search about that location and houses near it from what the dead woman was wearing she didn't seem rich but she could afford at least a tiny apartment for a living I couldn't find her Id or anything like that in her bag but oh well

There's only one shady apartment near that rundown place and that's the koha

There aren't much members so it was easy spotting her

A woman who was a part of this really rich family they had connections to a lot of good people tho it seems she went on a different path ending up pregnant and living in that rundown apartment

Although what I'd like to ask is who hates her that much to want to kill her I suspect it wasn't a gun if it was that lady she would have come earlier to her once she heard the gun

If it was a knife or something like that ... ah but it could be …I thought researching

Time skip

I then opened the tv seeing the lady's death was announced

Finally

More info I thought.

Nvm I already found all that hours ago I thought a bit pissed oh well what ever now then I know who the killer is

Once The news finished I wore my jacket and started walking towards my friends business he lets me work there so I can get some money for living expenses basically and Internet caffe but there are also private rooms if you Wana use the computer by yourself with out people sitting around u or like near u

Time skip

I decided to start a new account and text the lady from there telling her I am the detective and that I've cracked the case I'll send you everything so if I were you I'd go show this right now

The killer : lucas tamal

His connections to the lady are too complicated before she reached this state I suspect he’s the father of the kid even tho he's young

its definitely him for one the woman's family cared to much about their family name and once he found out he was the father his family's reaction was definitely not accepting what he did and hating him who knows what more they felt or did to him but it made him reach to the point of hating and resenting that lady to the point he killed her off hiding his face scared but carefully

Case solved !

If you want more info press this for detail + but I’m sure you already know the details don’t you ?

I sent as I deleted the account and the app completely

I then left the room sense it was cleaning duty

Time skip

*₊˚✺ home ✺*₊˚

This was easy I thought tired

News report : the case solved again

News report : Lucas tamal thrown in jail for murder

That was quick

I thought

Who ever the hell that other detective is that's supporting my theories is quite the quick one

the new case !

?????pov

Sir the lady she came ! She wants to show u something

Someone said stuttering as they called for me

Sure I'm coming

I replied as I packed my book full of info of this case

A woman found dead in front of a rundown building , a former important person at that how unexpected

Time skip

Once I reached to the location and saw the lady she gave me her phone telling me to read what was written I looked at it a bit bothered they solved my case again

I then searched the name and did some of my researching to prove this and hell this mysterious detective who ever it is

is smart

Who ever that was that solved this case before me their right

I said as I stared at the building and then at the body trace

owen here's your part our criminal is in-fact lucas do what you can to get in him in Jail using my name or even this mysterious detective after all that we have a case to solve

I said smiling

Right of course detective arthur

Owen replied smiling

My trust worthy friend with an actual important name

we've been friends ever sense I wanted to become a detective with nothing else in mind he was there with me saying he'd be my side kick in a way

Once I crack a case , which isn't happening much now a days due to that mysterious detective

he spreads it using his power , and when it isn't something I solve and that annoying human solves it I have to put it out for the world that who ever it is that solved it

Now then time to crack this case after all it will be worth it

*₊˚✺ home ✺*₊˚

Now then our mysterious detective what could catch your attention

... the location normally people wouldn't be there would they ?

I then grabbed my phone calling Owen

Owen I have an idea let's go to the scene it's self no one would walk there unless ...

Mysterious detective pov

This guy owen Bardot he's the one who called for this or at least seems like the ones with the strings but apparently he works with this detective tho I assume due to my existence that detective isn't solving anything anyway

I thought slightly proud of my self

Well I'm guessing after 4 cases I've solved this man's gonna start looking for me

I don't care if he finds me honestly but I'm still unsure if I should trust him

is he even that good he's been covering up for me and actually giving me credit but does that prove he’s worth it

until he finds me I'll solve what comes my way and stay a bit alerted more then the usual

Found out red handed

Excuse me wake up now

Who could that be

I thought as I lazily wore my jacket and washed my face walking towards the door

Oh hello there granny

Yes , hello Lucia I need you to fix this for me I'll pay you but please do fix it

She said handing me her old laptop

Heavy as usual I thought tired

Alright what's the problem ?

I asked looking at her as I let her in the tiny apartment of mine

There's this weird button that keeps popping up .....

She then continued talking about the issue and what she tried to do

Time skip

Thanks for coming again

I said smiling

Of course and don't forget to pay your rent

She said slightly smiling

Ah darn it my rent I forgot

I mumbled falling on my couch

Hello is anyone there ?

I heard a man's voice say knocking my door

Ah yes just a second please

I said in a happy loud voice as I was wearing my shoes

Once I reached to the door I opened it to end up being met by two men

owen bardot?

And some random guy I've never seen before

Owen Bardot looked at me with his green emerald eyes as he was smiling

The other behind Owen staring at me with his dark black eyes and black air giving me somewhat of mixed signs

Do you mind if we talk for a bit ?

Owen asked looking at me smiling

Oh yes of course I said smiling letting them in

So sorry about the mess I just woke up

I said as I prepared seats for them

Please sit here

I said smiling

I then brought them some sweets and made some tea

Here for you

I said smiling as I handed them both a cup

Would you like some tea ?

Sure

Why not

Well anyway what brings me the honor of meeting the both of you ?

I asked being polite

Well actually we can't give you the specifics but I'm sure you have heard of the mysterious detective.? Yes ?

Yes I have they sound like quite the clever one I said smiling

And I'm sure you heard the latest case they solved it’s somewhere near here

Oh .. yes I have although I didn't tune in on the specific location so that's news

I replied being careful about my words

It's quite a sad story but it was solved so quickly I'm still shocked at how quick they were

I replied

If I May ask why are you here at my apartment can't be because the location was close I mean who ever that detective is that solved the case I can’t be them nor the murderer

Ye your not the murder but we were thinking maybe ....

Your the detective

The other man continued

Me why's that ?

I asked keeping my laugh in

A lot of clues

The man replied

Look let's be cooperative about this we've got you surrounded

They figured me out so that's the detective aye

I thought as I looked at the man next to Owen

You sir may I ask your name ?

I asked looking at the black haired man

Of course miss my names Arthur adler Nice meeting you and finally although I wasn't expecting the mysterious detective her self to be a girl

He said smiling

So what's your plan with me now

I replied

What do you do for a living

What ? I I'm a free lancer 

Ah I see great then consider becoming a detective you've solved plenty of cases even ones I couldn't solve until I found ur answer

The man said excited looking at me

What ..??

I mumbled stuttering

Your kidding I don't want my name out there I need to do plenty of stuff to become one so it ain't worth it

I replied looking away

You have already solved so many cases covered by my friend Owen here as well as my self , we gave you credit you know

He said looking away sighing

Yea thanks

I replied smiling

Well okay how about we make a deal

Owen said intervening

I shivered a bit feeling as though I had no choice

Years later

Hey Arthur are you there ??

I asked calling out for him using my phone

Yes I am what's up ?

He replied a bit tired

This case it sounds perfect

I said smiling

Agreed !

Arthur replied I could tell he was smiling from the other side and so we started investigating

This was my first story I’m still a working writer for fun :) btw if your reading you should prob follow the order so read this first

[kindlyre]

LETSGO

the idea that kokichis intentional misdiagnosis caused him to develop a compulsive lying problem is just- SO SAD AAAUUUHHHHH its so tragic and i love it

also it means a LOT that u didnt give kenzo Abuser Disorder n rather addresses the cyclical nature of abusive family dynamics!!! in my fic, rantaro's grandfather also has aspd, and his dad presumably also has it as well, but hes only one of uhhhh *counts* five characters with aspd in the whole fic that r abusive at all and even so its just like, implied, none of the characters really give a fuck abt it outside of "oh, rantaro's aspd runs in his family"

i did Nawt get an adhd diagnosis till i was an adult but i knew i had it ever since like, the second grade. i was a very smart kid lmfaaaoo 😭 but GOOD LUCK GETTING DISABILITY!!!! im in that crossroads where i WANT disability so bad because i fucking hate working i hate it so much and i keep getting fired bc i backtalk my managers (yaay poor impulse control!!) but also disability payments are a fucking pittance and if i get married i lose them 😭 but who knows maybe once i move more jobs will be there and i can find something i like so it doesnt feel like im slowly dying! tbh in my case i do have some unknown Mystery Crippling that i use a wheelchair for part-time, but then i just... like... improved dramatically? out of nowhere?? my only explanation is danganronpa cured my disability bc it happened literally right when i replayed the games. thanks atua

(also mood!! a good chunk of my soulbonds while spiritual in origin, take traditional system member roles, and my first lil guy was totally unintentional but i later started doing it intentionally and i still find it very fun!! my first was BILL CIPHER talk about god throwing me in the fucking deep end w this mf!!! we were (still are) besties tho. despite the curse.)

QUASTION TIME W LYRE!!! 🔥🔥

so like, the chronic boredom itself is a big symptom people miss, ESPECIALLY how like. the boredom and disconnect from people causes depression which ofc makes substance abuse and addiction problems a lot worse. bc i get bored so easily i have a VERY addictive personality and if i didnt live with someone id be fucked tbh like. i would probably be homeless bc id spend all my money on shopping or ebay bidding or drugs. or all 3. ALSO im adding this here, i have a whole post on it on my other blog, but the WAY the "lack of remorse" symptom works is very misinterperted, i talk abt it in depth on the post!

half n half! the signs i see could mean ANYTHING, but i project. but the signs are that like... lbr... he is WAY too fucking calm about his situation, to the point where its literally the first line of my fic 😭. kaede's line about how it seems like hes done this before is meant to be foreshadowing of his ultimate survivor thing, but like... HE DOESNT REMEMBER THAT!!! this is just his personality, hes just Like That! ive known a bunch of pwaspd and one of the Fun Stereotypes abt us is that we r like, oddly chill w literally whatever. so im like... hmmmm. also his scary sprites like, this boy is just a little bit not normal so im like hmm... wouldnt it be fun if..... and then the rest is history!

grabs the world by the throat. we can have feelings we can have loved ones we can HAVE FEELINGS WE CAN HAVE LOVED ONES!!!!! we can feel remorse too, THATS ONE SYMPTOM OUT OF LIKE EIGHT AND REPRESSING THE FEELING COUNTS!!! also people tend to forget this bc they see aspd as Uniquely Bad, but we have good times and bad times, symptomwise! OH WAIT NO. THE RECOVERY RATES. THATS THE WORST MISCONCEPTION. people think aspd is uncurable when it does in fact tend to taper off in your 50s AND theres like a 27% rate of full remission and a 36% rate of improvement w/o remission (i saw this in two different studies but my dumbass did NOT bookmark them 😭 source(s): trust me bro ALSO EVEN IF these r wrong... how much of that low improvement rate is therapists not knowing how to deal w aspd patients)

also i just realized that the post tragedy danganverse would have a sociopath moral panic kinda like the narc abuse thing nowadays bc of junko Fitting The Profile (i do believe she has aspd like it fitsssssss ngl, hey man they cant all be winners!)

@kindlyre

Okay I'm VERY curious as to what mental illness you're writing Rantaro to have because it seems to be one of those stigmatized ones and I'm v curious???

[gallavichfanficlibrary]

✨2021 Favorites✨

Hi guys :) It’s almost 2022, so we decided to repeat last year and make a list of our personal favorites (which will vary from mod to mod) that started and completed in 2021 💝 There’s no way we could include everything we loved or even liked from our favorite authors, but hopefully you find something to jump into! ❄️ (This is a long list, but blame the writers for being so talented!)

Multi chapters:

Old Rules For New Side Pieces - Ian thinks he’s got his life together -- good job, stable boyfriend -- until he meets Mickey and his life is turned upside down. 

Enemy Lines - Enemies to lovers, a social justice warrior vs a lawyer.

Someone To Hold Me Up - Canon divergent from s7 - Ian and Mickey getting back together with their lives a little bit more put together. 

Under Lock and Key - Ian and Mickey man the desk of the missing keys office together and end up falling for each other week after week. 

weaver of fate (to your will I won’t fold) - Soulmates AU. Mickey is a seer who gets paid to track down people's soulmates. Ian pays for the reading but doesn’t want to know the result.

you’ll never see us again - Ian and Mickey grow up in a boarding school without a clue about what their future holds.

The Mask of Insanity - Ian’s a detective with a complicated past with Mickey, who ends up being a suspect in a murder case he’s working. 

Mickey Milkovich’s Guide to Flirting - How Mickey Milkovich learned to stop worrying (so much) and flirt with his crush

There Are Places You Belong - Ian and Mickey adjust to the West Side and grow closer in their second year of marriage.

WIPs:

Dancing After Death - Ian moves to California and meets Mickey, a member of a motorcycle club. Friends with benefits to lovers. 

That ‘Redhead Babyface/FUCK U-UP’ Duality - AU. Ian sees Mickey in a bar and decides that he’s the perfect candidate for shooting porn together.

Intro to Quantum Dating - College AU. Friends with benefits to lovers. Ian moves to campus and meets Mickey, the RA and the weed guy of the college. 

Paragraphs - Ian has an opportunity to be a reading tutor for ex-convicts. He meets one in particular that catches his eye.

since we’re alone - College AU. Enemies to lovers. Mickey is only going to college to play hockey. When he’s at risk of losing his full ride scholarship because of his slipping grades, he gets assigned a tutor.

let the bodies do the talkin’ - Mickey’s on a quest to find a good fuck and he doesn’t think Ian could do anything for him, but boy is he wrong...

You Can Bite Me - Ian’s a vampire and is drawn to the mysterious Mickey, of course things get complicated. 

Ristretto - Coffeeshop AU. Ian works the late shift at the coffee shop with Mandy Milkovich. He might or might not have the hots for her boyfriend.

elevator music - Ian makes a terrible first impression on his neighbor Mickey, but gets to redeem himself little by little.

Apartment 4A - When the chaos of the Gallagher home gets to be too much, Ian decides to move out. He answers a roommate ad, and gets more than he bargained for.

kings of the southside - S11 canon divergent fic in which Ian and Mickey stay on the southside and take over the Alibi.

We Are Made of Star Stuff - S1 gap-filler, Ian POV. Exploration of how the boys reach the level of closeness that has Ian running to Mickey's when Monica shows up.

One shots:

Stages - Post S11. It’s nice for married couples to share interests and experiences. But they didn’t really need their dads to die one after the other like this.

Bad for Business - Magic AU. Mickey works at a magic shop and Ian happens to be a frequent customer. 

Thicker than Forget -  Fantasy AU. Ian is a poet. Mickey is his recently-corporal muse. They eat an absurd amount of stupidly named ice cream, try to find beauty in things, and fall hopelessly in love.

the moment when a memory aches - A rewrite of the HOS episode filled with feelings, angst, and growth. 

Gotta Get You Into My Life - 2x04 fill in. Where exactly was Ian when Fiona came home to find Holly Herkimer storming out of the slumber party

Sweet Lips On My Lips - 3x05 fill-in/fix-it. mickey experiences new things after kissing ian for the first time.

Nobody makes me crazy like you (ambivalent) - Post S11.Mickey puts their neighbor in her place and won’t apologize for it and Ian learns a valuable lesson about compromising.

Risks Not Worth Taking - 11x06 fill-in. Ian worries over Mickey's involvement in the Born Free robbery.

put my faith in this hole in the ground - Ian experiences his first manic episode after being married to Mickey. 

golden hour - 5 times Mickey admires Ian's freckles, +1 time Ian admires his

submission sonata - Ian and Mickey spend some time together after the Alibi serenade. 

Muse - Ian slowly, but surely working his way into interior designer Mickey’s heart. 

Old Wounds - The time between Mickey finding out Ian’s going to prison and their reunion.

What Became of the Likely Lads? - 11x06 fill-in. How did Lip ask Mickey to help him steal bikes, why did Mickey bring donuts in the morning, and other questions answered.

nothing to worry about - Ian gets jealous and they settle it in familiar ways.

lit up - Ian and Mickey spending some quality time together in their very own place. 

The Ghosts of 218 - The journey to Mickey getting ready to be a dad. 

he wants to fucking tear you apart (series) - Ian discovers reddit porn, in particular user going by u/aleksandr.

soft, sensitive - Some short, soft one-shots ranging in topics.

And just in case, here are the links to last year’s lists:

X X

Happy reading! 📖💕

[spitdrunken]

boy does Creepy 50 year old Tio Bruno makes my pussy THROB. Especially if he knows that what he's feeling/doing is wrong and feels disgusted with himself for even having such thoughts.

SO HEAR ME OUT, what if after he's come back, the niece he's been stalking all those years is finally part of his world and despite his attraction and needs he tries SO hard to be a good uncle and act appropriately, the fact that you do innocently appreciate his company and show him a lot of affection while being completely unaware of his putrid thoughts doesn't help either. Until you two somehow end up in a compromising/suggestive position and he can't help but take advantage of the situation (did you get accidentally thrown into his lap, confined in a cramped place together, stuck inside something your ass on display, is he helping you undress out of a particularly confining dress, did you somehow end up tangled up together after a fall , did the rats fucking eat your clothes idk god i could go on for days)

Things start innocently and you're completely oblivious to everything until my man can't take it anymore , and you're completely helpless against the older man's stronger grip on your withering body. There's so much potential.. chikan/cnc/grinding/groping/face sitting/dirtytalk/ accidental stimulation/thigh riding 🤧❤️👌!

Sorry for the super long ask but I feel like you're one of the few who could get me lol

ANONNNN omg don't apologise cuz I read your ask like 5 times LMAOOO,, i really do get you man <333 creep bruno makes my brain leak out of my ears honestly. i want him to be like,, a messed up father figure and fuck me at the same time yknow.

this post got kindaaaa way too long. i’m  going to keep this out of the main tags, so very few people will end up seeing this i think cuz of how explicit it is :’),, if u enjoy it pls lemme know and feel free to reblog!

cw: incest (uncle/niece), noncon, agegap

it's such a challenge to keep his hands to himself when you're so close, all of a sudden. not even in a disgusting way immediately, no, no- just tapping your shoulder to get your attention, patting your head, or holding a loose grip around your wrist when he wants to show you something. every little touch sends sparks through him. he tries to keep his distance, but he just can't.

bruno used to think interacting with other people again would make his feelings fade. all that's happened is that he realised how perfect you are compared to everyone else. no one can make his heart stir like his cute niece does. (oh, and he does try. even if he's awkward and disshelved, it's not hard for a madrigal to get a date. the whole time he kept imagining it was with you, though. the only way he could seem interested in them if he was thinking of you instead.)

if anything, interacting with you on a personal basis has made it all worse. you're so sweet to him when you reunite, proclaiming how much you missed him all these years and hugging him without warning. it's a good thing he's only fully hard after you let him go, but he's still making an excuse to slip off and get himself under control in the bathroom soon after. thinking about the situation too hard makes him want to sob.

even after, you're the one who tries to help him ease back into society the most. you introduce him to people you know, take him with you on shopping trips and indulge him by letting him share the stories he's written over the years. maybe you just pity him. maybe you see a lonely, weird old man as your tío. but if that's the case... you'd be right. but you're still spending time with him, aren't you? so he can let it go.

one day, the subject shifts to his stay in the walls. you want to see where he stayed for so long. bruno can't come up with an excuse, but his entire room in there is covered with notes about you, so he can't take you there! instead, he takes you a much different route than he usually does. there’s a wrong turn somewhere. but he does recognise where has ended up. he should’ve turned back, he knows he won’t be able to stop.

You cough as you inhale the dusty air. It’s near impossible to believe he spent so many years here, all on his own. You’re sure you would’ve lost it within a couple of weeks. While you’re shuffling your way through the passage, your tío a little bit behind you, the walls start growing narrower and narrower around you. 

“Um...” You say, slowing your step. “Are you sure this is the right way...? It looks like a dead end.”

“Yes- Yes, it’s fine. Don’t worry.” The responses comes out breathier than you’d expect. “Just keep going. We’ll be there soon.”

But the wood only keeps closing further and further around you, so narrow you eventually can’t move forward anymore. When you take a step back, you bump right into your tío. “Oh! Sorry. But this really won’t work. We need to go back.” There’s no sound of footsteps though, and he remains quiet. You’re... Getting nervous. You try to crane your neck over your shoulder to see his expression, but you can’t make it out. Without there really being room for it, you shuffle back. Your back ends up pressed against his chest. His breathing is so loud. 

“T-tío Bruno? What’s wrong? You’re being weird.” Is this some kind of prank? Are you going to end up with Camilo teasing you for falling for one of his transformations again? Somehow, you doubt it. A buried part of you is screaming at you to get out of there, your legs tingling with a desire to run. But there’s nowhere to go. Why are you scared? He’s- He’s your family. Awkward, funny tío Bruno. He wouldn’t harm a fly. Your laugh is strained. “...Let’s just go back. Please?” 

His arm wraps around your waist, and pulls you flush against him, making you jump a little. “I- I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me.” The hand pressed on your stomach is shaking, stroking the skin. He moves his hips against your ass in a rolling motion. The choked noise he lets out shatters all of the excuses your mind had made up for him. His face disappears into your hair, and you can feel him inhale. “You... You smell so good, and you’re, uh, so s-soft and warm...” You’re not sure if you can hear a smile in his voice or not.

Your heart is racing in your ears, eyes wide as you stare into nothing. Never in your life would you have expected this. The world swirls around you. But even if you can’t believe it, you have to get out of there. You twist and turn, your shoulder banging into the inside of the wall. The pain barely registers. You actually manage to wriggle loose from his grip and stumble forward, but now you’re really stuck. Pinned between the wood on two sides, Bruno right behind you. He immediately clamps a hand over your mouth.

“Y-you- You, uh, already know. You’ll- You’ll really hate me, and I get that, I’m disgusting- So let me do this one time. That’s enough. Once, and I’ll stay away after that. I n-need to... It’s been...” His words are desperate and hurried, spoken in a single breath. They bump into one another. Bruno pulls you close again, and his hips stutter against yours. He whimpers. “Oh. I’m so, so sorry.” He’s sniffling, and your gut twists. Shouldn’t you be crying? Shouldn’t you be the only one who’s allowed to be upset here? You try to bite his hand, but it’s pressed against your mouth in such a way it’s hard to catch it in between your teeth.

Your tío is grinding against you in full force now. Short, quick movements that are purely for his own pleasure. All of your yells and curses are muffled against his hand. A neverending string of apologies slips from his lips, the moans and whimpers it’s broken up with making you sick to your stomach. 

(You’re not here. No, you aren’t. The edges of your vision blur as you think of anything but here, dig through your memories for a suitable replacement. A happy one. Your body isn’t rocking back and forth with your tío’s thrusts, no, no, you’re a child again, in a little boat drifting upon the water, and it’s waves that are jostling you around. You’re laughing, and the sun’s hot on your skin, and all’s good and happy and fun and nice-)

He squeezes at your skin without warning, and you gasp shakily. This gets the loudest noise out of him yet, a moan of your name. “Can- Can you do that again? I’m almost done, I s-swear, you’re just so- You’re so cute. S-so good, and sweet. You’re... You’re the only one who’s ever been this nice to me.” He breathes out. And he’s made sure you regret it. 

His hand is wandering over your skin. It never dips underneath your clothes, but he’s groping at your chest and your crotch. (You hate the warmth that settles underneath your skin. How your head is starting to get fuzzy. It’s just... It’s just your body responding in a natural way, it says nothing about your actual feelings.) You do... You do love him. Just not in a twisted way. Your heart feels like it’s being torn out of your chest with every movement of betrayal. Why did it turns out like this? You whimper his name, not out of pleasure, but because you’re seconds away from bursting into sobs. Tears spill onto his hands.

Your tío groans right into your ear as he cums, slumping against you. “...I love you.” It’s so soft, and he slurs it a little. 

They were right about him after all.

also thinking abt :’) Some members of the family being aware that bruno’s behaviour towards you is,, weird. before anything bad happens. telling you at first just to ‘not wear certain clothes when your tío is around’ and stuff like that, before actively trying to keep you two apart. but you don’t see anything wrong with him. just going to him anyway and confiding in him how weird your parents have been lately and that you still care about him <3 makes him all messed up in the brain LMAOO

also consensual uncle/niece is also yknow. yknow. top tier.

[myherowritings]

order’s up!

— Osamu gets a big order of some rather strange rice ball combinations an hour before closing. He doesn’t expect that he’d find the customer who ordered to be so damn cute.

pairing: miya osamu x reader word count: 2,387 genre: fluff, post manga timeskip

a/n: first haikyuu fic and aHH it was so fun to write ,, i didn’t expect osamu to be my first but here we are and tbh i am not mad~ ;) FJSDHKJ hope u enjoy!!

“One unagi onigiri to go-- Your order’s ready!”

A middle-aged man stood up from his seat at the waiting area and headed over to the counter, thanking Osamu for the fresh onigiri and making brief small talk. As the man left, Osamu looked at the customer next in line, thankful there was only one person in here so close to closing time.

“I’ll be with you in a moment,” he stated when your gaze met his, lips quirking up to give his best customer service smile.

You nodded with a warm smile of your own before looking down at the phone in your hands, murmuring what he thought sounded like “salmon, plum, beef, extra green onions, heavy on the seasoning.” Now, he liked to think there were no rules to onigiri, but part of him did hope you wouldn’t ask for all those ingredients in one gigantic, imbalanced rice ball. Maybe you were reciting a large number of individual orders.

He shrugged. Money was money, and all onigiri was good onigiri when made with his special Miya love. Miya love that was specific to Osamu in particular, of course. Atsumu could never recreate it even if he tried-- Not that he ever tried. The day he tried in something other than volleyball would be the day Osamu said he was the worst onigiri chef in Japan.

In other words, never.

Osamu hustled over to the cash register and you took that as your cue to step forward, hands fidgeting with your wallet and cellphone.

He smirked to himself in silent amusement. A shy one, were you? By now he had lost count of all the nervous and fidgety costumers he had gotten at his shop, but to allow them to stay that way simply wouldn’t do. If his patrons weren’t 100% comfortable in his care--well, as comfortable they could be in an onigiri shop--it meant he was doing his job wrong.

As the owner of Onigiri Miya he wanted to make sure every customer would leave with a smile and a desire to come again soon. That was how he built rapport and got so many regulars after all.

“I can take your order whenever you’re ready,” said Osamu in a slow pace, encouraging you to slow your rhythm as you tapped your fingertip restlessly against your protective phone case. Were you in a hurry? You seemed rather antsy, but he went on. “There’s no rush here.”

There was less than an hour until closing and he figured you would be the last customer of the day-- Meaning there was no reason not to slow down. As much as Osamu appreciated how lively his hometown could be, he also enjoyed quieter moments like these.

Not everything had to be so loud. Not everything had to be moving so fucking fast all the time. And he learned that in some instances, he could just control the pace himself.

Your worried chatter brought him out of his musing. “Are you sure? Because I know you close soon and I really didn’t want to come in so late but the guys are still down over a loss and said this was their favorite comfort food,” you said, eyebrows furrowed in a tell of concern. “It’s kind of a big order, so if you need to start cleaning up for closing I can just go to another store-- Sorry for imposing!”

He blinked. He thought he just said there was no rush to imply he wasn’t worried and you shouldn’t be either, but you didn’t seem to pick up on that.

“Hey, you’re not imposing,” Osamu soothed, somewhat alarmed at your apprehension. “You said someone was down over a loss? You on a sports team?”

Losing sucked. Osamu knew this firsthand.

Sure, in hindsight it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but while it could sure feel that way sometimes. If it was bad enough, it could take a few days to really get over and grow from it. So hearing that Onigiri Miya was someone’s comfort food that could help cheer them up on days like those… That certainly gave him reason to puff his chest up a little more.

“Yeah! Well, kind of.” You moved your head side-to-side as if unsure of your answer. “I help assist the volleyball team at my university. It’s my last year in school and I’m sure all of the other fourth years are bummed too.” Catching the small frown on your face, you stopped yourself before it spread, clearing your throat. “But it’s okay! At least we all had fun. And now they’ll be getting some of their favorite food to cheer them up-- If you’re still taking orders, that is…?”

He nodded. “‘Course I am.” Osamu flashed you a grin intended to make your worries disappear. “What kinda store owner would I be if I couldn’t make your team their pick-me-up food?”

The two of you shared a look before you tore your gaze away, biting your lower lip to hide your smile.

“Thank you, then,” you murmured, unlocking your phone to what appeared to be a notes app.

Osamu picked up his pen with a short hum. “Ready to take your order when you are.”

“Right.” You stared at your screen in concentration before listing off what you had written. “Can I have three salmon onigiris with green onions, two umeboshi and mentaiko with light seasoning and ginger, one tempura and unagi with green onions and sesame seeds and heavy seasoning, two…”

As he noted your orders, some arguably stranger than others--not that he should be one to judge, what with his own peculiar preferences--he made a mental note of how cute your voice sounded and tucked it away in the depth of his mind. Was cute the word for it? He wasn’t exactly sure, but he guessed that sounded okay enough. There was something about hearing you talk that made Osamu want to hear more, even if it was just a list of onigiri ingredients.

He huffed. Weird.

When you finished he repeated back your order, affirming it was all correct.

“Great, so I’ll be with you in about 15 to 20 minutes with your order ready,” he informed as he held the paper with the dishes he had to make. “You can have a seat at one of the tables ‘til I return.”

You nodded at his words but hesitantly opened your mouth. “Erm-- Wait!”

He looked back at you, mere steps away from the cooking area.

“Is it just you working at this hour?” you asked, standing with your hands folded behind your back as you craned your neck.

“Yeah, we don’t get many late customers on a Tuesday night so I’m the only one closin’ today.” Osamu gave you a curious once-over. Bright eyes, nervous yet playful smile, cute outfit-- Damn, he sure was using the word cute a lot today. All in relation to you nonetheless. “Why?”

“Are you sure the order isn’t too big for you in this hour?” Once again, you were fretting. He reckoned he ought to teach you some relaxation techniques and tips of how to be less...selfless. “Do you need some, uh, help?”

The corner of Osamu’s lip twitched upwards. Help? What were you planning on doing if he said yes? Learn the basics of food safety and onigiri-making in less than 20 minutes so you could assist him in making your order?

Something told him that was, in fact, what you were ready to do.

Cute.

“Stop stressin’, sweetheart,” he said with a tsk, not bothering to hide his amused grin. “I’ve handled bigger orders than this. You just rest your pretty little head and I’ll be finished before you know it.”

Though you still looked concerned, you nodded and sat down, probably figuring you would be more of a hindrance in his onigiri-making flow than anything else.

“Don’t miss me too much-- And don’t even think of saying sorry or anythin’ like that!” His tone was teasing but he meant what he said. You were a customer at Onigiri Miya and he wanted no patron of his to be worrying this much if he could do anything to help it. “The store’s still open and I’ve no issue taking your order. ‘Kay?”

You blinked. “Okay. I… Thank you, uh, Miya-san.”

“Just Miya’s fine.”

“Right. Miya. Thank you.”

He sauntered off into the kitchen to get started with your order and as he went through making your onigiri, he hoped you wouldn’t still be feeling bad about a big order that wasn’t even that big compared to others he got. Besides, you had already paid for the order. There was no point worrying after the transaction went through.

Osamu soon made his way down the list of rice balls and, just like he promised, popped his head out of the kitchen along with three, full takeout containers in record time.

“For the cutest customer here tonight-- Order’s up!”

You perked up at the mouthwatering smell of his onigiri, pressing a hand to your stomach as you hummed. “I’m the only customer here tonight, but since your food smells so yummy I will choose to let that comment slide.”

Holding the bag of takeout in front of his, Osamu smirked at your surprisingly steadfast composure. You didn’t get flustered at his unabashed compliment like he thought you would, and for some reason that made you seem even more appealing.

As you accepted the order, he quipped, “Only customer here or not, you’re still the cutest.”

You wrapped your fingers around the handle of the takeout bag, the edge of your pinky brushing against his thumb. “Hmm, then-- I guess you’re definitely the cutest worker here tonight, even though it is by default.”

Osamu laughed, both in amusement and in happiness after finally getting you to feel comfortable in his shop.

“A compliment’s a compliment and I’m not above being the cutest by default,” he said with a lazy drawl, watching as you set the onigiri bag on the counter in front of you while easing into a conversation with him.

“As if you would ever have to win by default. You seem much too handsome and talented for that.”

It sounded like you were flirting. Were you flirting? He noted the mischievous glint in your eyes and the way you lingered in the store instead of leaving once you received your order.

Yeah. You were so flirting.

“Cute.”

“Huh?”

“Oh, nothing.” He smiled secretively but wouldn’t expand on what he said despite your questioning look.

You narrowed your eyes. “Sure, okay then.” Your fingers wrapped and unwrapped themselves from the handle of the to-go bag, like you didn’t want to leave just yet but didn’t know what was left to say. “Well-- Um, thank you for the order! I’m sure this’ll cheer the team right up.”

“And you as well, I hope.”

“Of course. I haven’t even tasted it but it already has.”

Just being here already has, is what you seemed to say. Osamu rather liked that implication.

“But… I still feel kind of bad for ordering all this so close to your closing hours,” you said sheepishly, rubbing the side of your neck like it had a knot. “I’m sorry.”

Osamu waved his hand at your words. “Please, what do you have to apologize for? Making me do my job?” he asked cheekily, his sideways grin showing teeth. “You shouldn’t feel bad.” He noticed the way you brought your lower lip into your mouth with uncertainty and he continued, “But if you still do...there is a way you could repay me and soothe those worries.”

You looked up, eyes widened. “How? I’d do anything.”

Dangerous words coming from such pretty little lips.

He adjusted the cuffs of his sleeves, unintentionally bringing your attention to his forearms. “Let me treat you out this weekend, yeah?”

Your gaze followed his hands as you nodded. “Yea--” You blinked to snap out of your daze and he stifled a laugh. “Wait, wait! Shouldn’t I be the one to treat you?”

“What kinda gentleman would I be if I were to ask you out on a date and tell you to pay?”

Maybe Atsumu would’ve made his date pay for their meal and activities of the day, but Osamu wasn’t him. Osamu had class.

“A date?” you parroted. “As in one with me? And you? Together?”

There wasn’t anyone else in the store he could be asking. Nope, just you and your awkwardly cute self.

Osamu nodded in affirmation. A date is just what he was asking you out on. “Well, only if you want, of course.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to contain the wide smile that threatened to spread across your face. “I wouldn’t mind a date with the cutest worker here tonight,” you teased, looking around the store before meeting landing on his face. “I still want to be the one to treat you, though. It’s the least I could do.”

As happy as he was that you didn’t reject him, he didn’t give. “Don’t worry about treating me-- Your company’s a better treat than money could buy.” You snorted at his pickup line and Osamu silently cursed his brother for saying that line would always work. And then cursed himself for believing it. “Look, I’ll pay. I insist.”

“I insist too.”

You held each other’s gaze, neither one wavering. He seemed to realize you weren’t going to give in, but he wasn’t planning on it either. He huffed, shaking his head, entertained. “Okay, then. How ‘bout we rock-paper-scissors it when the day comes?”

“Fine by me,” you laughed, hiding the bottom half of your face with your hand. He wanted to hold it in his so he could see the full smile you were covering, but Osamu decided he could save that for another time. “But don’t think you’ll have an easy win! I’ll have you know I play a mean game of rock-paper-scissors.”

“‘Course you do, sweetheart.”

And he didn’t doubt that at all.

As strange as the orders were and as nervous as you may have been at the start, Osamu found himself rather fond of you. Was working overtime worth it just for a date with a cute costumer?

Yeah, he decided. It was.

a/n: y/n’s vball team waiting for their comfort food after a bad loss while y/n and osamu are just there flirting after hours: 👁💧👄💧👁

[jungshookz]

hwayoung’s two now and y/n’s allowed to be emotional about it, okay?

➺ genre; ceo!yoongiverse!! a little bit of yoongi and y/n being mushy for each other!! fluff!! cutest drabble for the cutest girl!! jungkook and jimin bickering like an old married couple as per usual!! 

➺ wordcount; 3.2k

➺ p.s. this drabble is approximately five months overdue and it’s basically been collecting dust in my drafts so i figured i’d finally release it into the wild since it’s mother’s day today and i thought it’d be nice to read something sweet on this special day!!!! happy mother’s day!!! give ur mom a big ol hug and a kiss on the cheek :-) and if u don’t celebrate mother’s day that’s okay you can still read this for a small boost of serotonin wahoo :D 

                                       »»————-　🍰　————-««

“i’d just like to inform you that if it wasn’t for the fact that today is hwayoung’s birthday, the idea of having cake as part of breakfast would definitely be off the table.” yoongi pauses before turning his head to look at you pointedly, “in fact, it wouldn’t even had made it to the table in the first place.”

“trust me, you’ve made that clear multiple times-” you roll your eyes playfully before offering yoongi a half-hearted shrug, “it’s not a big deal! we’ll just give her a tiny little chunk that’ll fit in her tiny little hand and then we’ll save the rest for later!”

“yeah, right-” yoongi snorts, making his way over to you to hand you a balloon, “you’re probably going to sneak an entire slice of cake into her mouth while i’m not watching-” he teases, digging his fingers into your sides playfully before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you back against his chest, “you think you’re so sneaky-”

“hey-!” you giggle, squirming in his grip when you feel him starting to nip at the side of your neck, “this is not a very productive use of our time, boss-”

“hey, you two! are you just going to stand there making out all day or are you actually going to help me with the decorations?”

both you and yoongi peer over the edge to see jimin standing by the bottom of the spiral staircase looking very unimpressed and you flash him a sheepish smile 

“we’re not making out-” 

“yeah, well you might as well be-”

“we’re helping! we’re almost done tying balloons to the banisters-” you argue, holding the balloon in your hand up before flopping it around enthusiastically, “we-” you jolt when you accidentally let go of it, watching with wide eyes as it rockets around the ceiling before poot-poot-pooting pathetically and landing on the ground by jimin’s feet

whoops

“…yes, that’s very helpful, thank you.” jimin mutters to himself, shaking his head as he bends down to pick up the sad, spitty balloon up off the ground with a grimace, “when you’re done, come down and help me because this balloon arch isn’t going to make itself! chop-chop, people-” he claps his hands together as he wanders back to the living room to the half-constructed balloon arch

“you know, you’d think that hwayoung was his daughter-” yoongi murmurs lowly, twisting his neck to give your cheek a quick kiss before pulling away

“mm, tell me about i-”

“she’s mine when the two of you drop dead!”

you jump in surprise at the sound of jimin’s voice snapping at you from below and you and yoongi exchange glances before bursting into quiet giggles

“i feel like i should be more concerned that jimin seems to be very eagerly waiting for our deaths.” you joke, reaching for the bag of balloons and pulling out a handful of them

as much as you love your daughter you weren’t planning on having a super big birthday party for her just because..,., well, she’s probably not going to remember most of it considering she’s two and also it’s just the five of you celebrating at home, so you thought that a cake and a bunch of presents would be good enough of a celebration

of course, when you told jimin about these plans he looked like he was ready to bury you alive which is why he insisted that he’d take care of the food and the drinks and basically the entirety of hwayoung’s birthday party and told you that all you and yoongi had to do was sit back, relax, blow up a couple of balloons and also choose a cute birthday outfit for hwayoung

(jimin actually ended up taking over that part as well. he bought her a new birthday dress and a brand new pair of shoes to go with it.)

“everyone can relax! the star of the show has now arrived!”

the sound of the front door slamming shut suddenly shatters the silence and you smile lightly when you see jungkook sauntering in as if he owns the place

“good morning, kook.” you hum, jungkook looking up at you before offering you a lopsided grin, “actually, the star of the show is still fast asleep in her room.”

“oh, right-” jungkook snorts, dismissing you with a flick of his wrist, “i mean, yeah, of course this is hwayoung’s special day- but check it out! i picked up her birthday cake and brought it back here and i didn’t accidentally ruin it somehow!” he raises the big blue box in his hand with a beam, “i’m incredible!”

“that thing looks huge, jungkook!” you frown lightly, “i told you not to go crazy-”

“please tell me you didn’t max out my credit card buying a giant cake for hwayoung.” yoongi chimes in, leaning over and folding his arms atop the banister, “i hope you realise it’s just going to be the three of you having to eat it all-”

“it’s hwayoung’s birthday, i had to splurge! you know that ‘everything is cake’ trend? i ordered a custom cake and asked them to make it look like a giant cookie! but i also ordered a dozen chocolate chip cookies just in case she’s not into the cake.” jungkook smiles proudly before pausing, “…of course, knowing hwayoung, she’s going to love the cookies and the cake, so i’m not too worried. i’m going to see if i can shove these into the fridge-”

“what’s wrong?” yoongi nudges your side to get you to look at him, “you look like you’re thinking, which is never really a good thing-”

“hwayoung’s two now.” you blink twice before turning to look at yoongi, “she’s two.”

“yes. you’re very good at keeping track of our daughter’s age.” yoongi coos, reaching up to pinch your cheek playfully, “good job, baby.”

“two years old!” you gasp, turning around to lean back against the railing before shaking your head, “my god, she’s aged.”

“oh my god, you’re right. the ripe old age of two.” yoongi teases before gasping dramatically and reaching over to grip onto your forearm, “soon, we’ll be thinking about what elementary school to send her off to... and then the next thing you know, we’ll be helping her look for her own apartment when she’s off at university... and then you’ll be going wedding dress shopping with h-”

“stOP stop stop stop-” you wave your hands before covering them over your ears, yoongi laughing lightly when you frown at him, “i don’t want her to turn two! because that means she’s going to turn three… and then she’s going to turn four… and then five, six, seven, eight-” you pause and your eyes suddenly widen in horror, “she’s going to be a sixteen year old one day- what if she turns into a bratty sixteen year old?? because i was a really bratty sixteen year old and i don’t want her to turn out like me! do you know how hard it’s going to be if she turns into me? i used to sneak home at four in the morning-”

“let’s keep in mind that hwayoung is also my daughter and i was not a bratty sixteen year old,” yoongi interrupts calmly before giving your arm a reassuring squeeze, “she’s gonna be fine! and you turned out great, so give yourself a little bit of credit-”

“i just want her to stay two forever.” you pout, crossing your arms stubbornly as you look down the hallway towards her room, “is that too much to ask for??”

“when the terrible twos hit, i guarantee you’re probably going to feel a little different.” yoongi teases, pushing himself up off the banister before gesturing for you to go and join jimin and jungkook downstairs, “why don’t you help jimin out with the balloon arch while i go and wake our little miss two year old up?”

                                      »»————-　🍰　————-««

yoongi presses his lips together tightly as he twists the doorknob, being careful not to make too loud of a sound to accidentally shock hwayoung awake

the last thing he wants is for to burst into tears at the start of her special day

he peers into the bedroom, smiling fondly when he sees a little lump under the covers shuffling a little 

a chubby sock-clad foot pokes out for a second before it disappears again

“이게 누굴까요? [hm… who’s that]?” yoongi asks quietly, the lump suddenly freezing in place, “드디어 일어나셨네요… [i think someone’s finally awake…]”

he tilts his head when a messy head of hair pops out from under the covers, the corners of hwayoung’s mouth immediately lifting in a bright smile when she spots him, “우리 공주 좋은 아침입니다! [oh! good morning, miss min!]”

he lets himself into the room and reaches over to click the white noise machine off before starting to quietly pad his way over to her, his heart melting in his chest when her mouth opens up in a quiet little yawn

“잘 주무떠뜹니까… [gub moming…]” hwayoung murmurs, eyelids fluttering slightly as yoongi reaches down to push some of her hair out of her face

“잘 잤어? [hi, baby… did you sleep well?]” yoongi asks, leaning down to scoop her up, “우리 화영이 생일 축하해… 밑에서 다 기다리고 있어... [happy birthday, my darling… we’re all waiting for you downstairs...]” he whispers, rubbing circles into her warm back when she immediately clings to him, “머리에 물 좀 묻히고 내려갈까? 머리가 아주 산발이네. [why don’t we freshen up a little, hm? the birthday girl can’t take pictures with a bird’s nest on her head.]”

“딴바. [birb’s ness.]”

                                      »»————-　🍰　————-««

“i hope she likes the present i got for her.” jungkook mutters, his foot tapping anxiously against the ground as he looks up towards the top of the stairs in anticipation of hwayoung’s arrival, “i mean, if she doesn’t like it, there’s a receipt in the box so i can return it and get something else for her… but i really hope she likes it.”

“jungkook, she’s two. i gave her a wooden spoon to play with the other day and she was ecstatic.” you snort, peeling an eye open to look at him from where you’re lying on the couch before shutting it again, “i’m sure she’ll love whatever you got for her.”

“what’s the matter with you?” jimin hums, glancing at you for a second before focusing his attention back on sticking the bright pink ‘2’ candle onto the cake, “you look a little out of it today.”

“gee, thanks.” you snort, blindly grabbing one of the throw pillows before hugging it to your chest, “no, i’m fine, i just- i was feeling a little mopey this morning about hwa turning two and now i’m just thinking about how time has just flown by…”

“mm. it seems like it was only yesterday that i was holding your hair back while you violently puked your guts out into the toilet bowl.” jimin jokes, holding a hand to his chest before spinning around to face you and jungkook, “ah… fond memories that i’ll look back on for the rest of my life.”

“you know, i should’ve told yoongi i was pregnant in another way.” you suddenly change the subject, propping yourself up onto your elbows with a frown, “all i did was give him a tiny cookie. how lame is that?!”

“to be fair, you didn’t know how he was going to react, so maybe it was a good thing you went for something so simple!” jimin shrugs, making his way over to you before sticking his hand out for you to take, “c’mon, miss mopey. hwayoung probably doesn’t want to see you throwing yourself a pity party on her special day when she comes down here.”

                                     »»————-　🍰　————-««

“-화영이가 엄마한테가서 이쁜짓 해주는 거 어떨까? [-now, mama is feeling very emotional today, so i think it’d be a really good idea to act extra cute, okay?]” yoongi whispers to hwayoung, planting a quick kiss on her cheek while slowly making his way down the stairs, “of course, that probably isn’t going to be a problem for you, seeing that you’re adorable 24/7-”

“i adowbo.” hwayoung murmurs, leaning down and squishing her cheek against yoongi’s shoulder, “졸려. [i seepy.]”

“졸리다고? [sleepy?]” yoongi pauses on the steps, reaching up to adjust one of her pigtails with a smile, “이거 큰일났네, 졸리면 어떡해! [you can’t be sleepy for your morning conference. look alive!]”

“is that the sleepy little birthday girl?” 

yoongi looks down to see you waiting eagerly at the bottom of the stairs, your hands clasped together and your eyes glued on hwayoung, “good morning!”

“mama!” hwayoung immediately twists around in yoongi’s arms at the sound of your voice, reaching out for you with a teethy grin as soon as yoongi gets close enough to you

“oh, happy birthday, my sweet little baby!“ you coo as you take her into your arms, squishing multiple kisses to her chubby cheek as you hold her close, “happy happy birthday, my beautiful girl…”

“ahppa bouday!” hwayoung giggles, little hands patting against your face

she leans in and smushes her nose against yours before giving you a drooly kiss on the cheek and you can’t help but laugh at how affectionate she’s being with you

see??

you want to keep her like this forever and it sucks to think about the fact that one day you’re going to set her down on the ground after carrying her and you’ll never pick her up again because she won’t need you to pick her up again

:-(

“oh…” you sniffle, suddenly feeling your nose prickle and your eyes starting to get a little tingly, “i love you so much…”

you don’t get much of a chance to say anything else before hwayoung’s suddenly being plucked from your arms, both jimin and jungkook immediately starting to fawn over her as per usual

“우리 화영이, 공주님이 따로 없네! [look at how beautiful you are in your dress!]” jimin exclaims animatedly, hwayoung clapping her hands together in response

her dress is sage green and gingham and it even came with matching ribbons for her hair and you have to admit that jimin made a pretty good choice with this birthday outfit

you probably would’ve stuck her in a pair of overalls or something

“see, what’d i say?” jimin smiles proudly, smoothing down the back of hwayoung’s dress before looking over at jungkook, “i told you the sage green was cuter- 아니 빨간 걸 왜 입혀 뭐 애를 도마로 만들 생각이니- [the red one that you wanted to go with would’ve made her look like a picnic blanket-]”

“아니 도마라니! [red gingham is classy!]” jungkook argues, trailing behind jimin while making faces at hwayoung to get her to laugh, “입혀보지도 않고- [you didn’t even give it a chance-]”

“난 그딴 거 염두에 두지 않는다 정국아- [i don’t need to give tacky garbage a chance, jungkook-]”

“hey, are you okay?” yoongi gives you a quick hug and kiss on the side of your head when he suddenly notices a tear running down your cheek, “she’s just turning two, y/n... she’s not moving out of the country-”

“i know, i know-“ you sniffle, reaching up to quickly wipe at your tears before chuckling, “i guess i’m just feeling extra emotional today-”

“c’mon, parents!” jimin calls out for you two while setting hwayoung down in her high chair, “the candle is melting and this cake is too expensive to get any wax dripped on it-”

“gookee!” hwayoung points to the cake and claps her hands as she bounces up and down on her seat, “gookee, mama!”

“yeah! cookie!” you mimic enthusiastically, smiling widely when she suddenly lets out a high-pitched squeal of excitement, her nose scrunching particularly cutely, “i’m glad to see that you inherited my love for cookies and not appa’s love for muesli.”

yoongi immediately scoffs and reaches down to give your bum a quick swat

“i know she’s saying cookie, but i’m just going to go ahead and say that she’s actually saying the name of her favourite uncle-” jungkook sighs, reaching down to pinch hwayoung’s cheek, “화영이는 꾹이 삼촌 제일 좋아하- [uncle gookee is your forever favourite-]”

“어 응 뉘에- [yeah, okay, whatever helps you sleep at night-]” jimin snorts, shoving the camera into his hands as the four of you stand in front of hwayoung, “okay, don’t touch the cake yet! let’s get some pretty pictures of the birthday girl first!”

“hwa, look into the camera!” jungkook coos, snapping his fingers to get her to look up at him, “그래 삼촌 한 번만 봐 봐- [look at uncle goo- yeah, there we go-]”  

you watch hwayoung fondly as she continues to ham it up for the camera, her little legs kicking in anticipation under the tray

“good girl, you’re being so patient.” you hum before reaching over to pluck a cookie from the open box, “ooh, i’ve been dying to sink my teeth into one of these-” 

“i had one earlier, they’re pretty good!” jimin nods, brushing past jungkook to get to you, “the bakery i ordered them from has, like five out of five stars one google review- hey, what’s that face for?”

“eugh- do the cookies taste a little funky to you?” you face screws up as you swallow the bite before holding the cookie up to take a closer look at it, “it’s just chocolate chip, right?”

“yeah- hold on, lemme try-” jimin frowns, reaching over to steal your cookie before taking a bite of it and chewing thoughtfully

“maybe you just got a weird one?” yoongi suggests, peering into the box with a frown, “all cookies taste funky to me, so my opinion probably isn’t valid here-”

“it’s fine, i’ll try another one later-” you dust your fingers off before perking up and clapping your hands together, “hey, should yoongi and i hop in for some pictures before hwa completely destroys the entire cake?”

“yeah, it… might be a little too late for that.” jungkook clears his throat and the three of you look over to see hwayoung’s tubby arms shoved elbow deep into the cake, “i gave her the green light to go ahead and eat. she just looked so sad and hungry, i’m sorry!”

hwayoung cackles in glee as she continues slapping her hand against the cake, her grubby little hands now sticky and her new dress stained with globs of frosting chocolate

“oh my god.” you stifle a laugh and reach up to cover your mouth so that you don’t burst out laughing at the fact that both jimin and yoongi look absolutely appalled

“i spent, like, ten minutes doing her hair-” yoongi whines, gently nudging you aside so he can hurry over to hwayoung and try to salvage the neat little pigtails he spent forever working on, “and now there’s frosting everywhere!”

“that dress was expensive, jungkook!” jimin snaps, and if you didn’t know any better you’d think he was about to burst into tears, “and i didn’t even get any nice pictures with her before she- come on, man-”

“i’m sorry!”

“ahppy bodday!” hwayoung shrieks in delight and flings her arms up, chunks of cake and specks of frosting flicking out from her hands, “i adowbo!”

👔click here for more ceo!yoongi content (+ hwayoung!)

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✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here? (full fics!)

💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles like this one!)

🌟or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)

[1kook]

kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!! 

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.��

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

“Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue 

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that. 

—

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[37q]

so yall know i gotta lor sis righ. well. fuck dude. those obligations from earlier. part rant part support seeking skip to the very end for that second part

context. 17 y/o not in school, homeless, lowkey estranged from her parents. father is unemployed and lying abt it, abusive and his ego is constantly reacting to his material precaritys impact on his manhood, sits at my old shop all day doing nothing. mom, actually employed, covering for dad, also used to work at my old shop before being fired for stealing a stack of cash, getting worse w her precarity and also sits at the shop a lot a lot. no idea where her lor bro sleeps. no idea how old he is too, could be 12 in an 8 year olds body for all i kno

so i pick her up at 1030, we go to the mall and check the ubreakifix type place and they dont work on iphone 8s. bet. we have a spare XR she bought off her big bro. missing sim tray, got a free replacement from the shop. go to the apple store, the XR is permalocked unless factory reset from the icloud acct tethered to the device (truly dystopian imo), schedule genius bar appt for tmrw at 11. take her back to her friends house, the one i hired a month before i left so she could have a comrade and a place to stay nearish work that isnt her moms (although they were kicked out of their motel right when i hired steven i think. so, unhappy coincidence?).

sis works then so i drop her off at work at 9 and take her phone w me. go home come back to the mall. genius at the bar says its busted, whatever. not like i been sayin that. its missing like the bottom 1/5 of the backing like straight up exposed circuitry and she leans it on its bottom edge on whatever flat surface she can find at her perpetually wet food service job. refurbished options more expensive than the cheap 'new' products, not saying much tho. deliver busted phone and info to her -- her mom and dad are there ofc -- go home. later pick her up that night (last night) and drive her to her gfs in the heights. oh also dropping steven and their mutual friend off at stevens on the way. whatever its like literally en route its actually kinda perfect every time.

apparently im picking her up this morning. Okay. oh yeah shes locked out of her paycard account. she locks the card when shes at 0 in case she gets an auto withdrawal thatll overdraft her. she got paid today so she was gonna unlock it but how did she access her acct previously? thumbprint. no password memory whatsoever. pretty fair, id say? she texted me asking for the last 4 of her SSN this morning. nobody picked up her call to the bank(?) until she called them in the car with me. the form required to change login credentials when u dont have account access required those digits and a form of photo id. no ability to access it from her ADP because the pw changed at some point but it still took her print.

reminder. shes homeless and out of school. she has a birth certificate but thats where my certainty of her documentation ends. ive run into this before where i wanted to start a real bank acct for her but they require legally viable photo id and even non driver state ids require 1. proof of permanent residence (X) and 2. proof of enrollment in school for minors (X) at the MVA.

so anyways weve kinda hit a wall with the limitations her unsupportive parents / guardians have provided! its taking up a large portion of my emotional, mental, physical, and temporal space in life right now so i wanted to make a post about it. my little bandaid desire is to at least set her up with a new phone which i estimate would be $200 minimum for actual 'verified third party vendors of used phones' but ugh i didnt budget for this.

oh the support seeking! if you know me and wanna ease the load on my sisters shoulders a but, id be grateful for some help raising funds for a new phone! ill include some $ links. if were unacquainted but youre reading this anyway and have a spare $5 wed love the support! thanks for reading :)

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